Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny garl.
Speaker 2: Hi.
Speaker 1: Everyone, welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast is all
Speaker 1: about the choices we make, and today I'm sitting down
Speaker 1: with someone who turned a simple idea into a cultural phenomenon.
Speaker 1: Ali Webb may not have invented the blowout, but she
Speaker 1: redefined it when she launched Drybar more than fifteen years ago,
Speaker 1: transforming a one time luxury into a self care ritual
Speaker 1: for millions of women. Since then, she has expanded into
Speaker 1: multiple industries, from beauty and wellness to media and now mentorship,
Speaker 1: guiding the next generation of founders. As always, she is
Speaker 1: now onto something fresh. It's Messy by Ali Web. True
Speaker 1: to its name, this brand celebrates the beauty of imperfections
Speaker 1: and being well messy. In today's conversation, I asked Ali
Speaker 1: some big questions. Does entrepreneurship take a specific personality? And
Speaker 1: what roles do therapy and self awareness play? And how
Speaker 1: she leads her teams and so much more. You guys,
Speaker 1: Ali brings sharp insights, plenty of honesty, and a reminder
Speaker 1: that the messiest parts of our stories are the ones
Speaker 1: that make us the best kind of people. Oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: This is really exciting for me to have your things. Likewise,
Speaker 1: having I am such an admirer of you since you
Speaker 1: started the things you started, always watched you and your
Speaker 1: success and like thought, I want to be like that,
Speaker 1: Oh I can do she can do it. I can
Speaker 1: do it. You know that feeling of and now it's
Speaker 1: full circle for you. We'll talk about this a little
Speaker 1: bit later, but you're a mentor to people.
Speaker 3: Yeah, which is which is kind of wild because.
Speaker 4: You know, I think you know, the generation you and
Speaker 4: I grew up in, which was like the be scene
Speaker 4: and not heard, and you know, women weren't mentors and
Speaker 4: leaders when we were growing up was just it wasn't
Speaker 4: really a thing. And it's crazy and amazing now how
Speaker 4: many like I have so many friends and so many
Speaker 4: girls I know, you know, some around my age, but
Speaker 4: a lot definitely a lot younger who are coming up
Speaker 4: and they're just doing such amazing things. And it's interesting
Speaker 4: to feel like even what you just said, I'm like me,
Speaker 4: there is still that part of me that has that like,
Speaker 4: you know, my brother is my business partner and he's
Speaker 4: older than me, and he was like you'll get this
Speaker 4: reference like the Alex p Keaton.
Speaker 3: You know, I feel like not everybody will get that rightly. Tie.
Speaker 4: I mean, he was like, you know, could do no wrong,
Speaker 4: was so smart, entrepreneurial, and I was like, you know,
Speaker 4: it's funny. My my father hates it when I say
Speaker 4: this publicly because he's like, we never said that, but
Speaker 4: it was like we hope she marries well you know,
Speaker 4: I mean, but I think that was our generation and
Speaker 4: so to kind of you know, I feel like it's
Speaker 4: funny how even like I'm I'm cautious with my words
Speaker 4: and that I'm want to be like break the mold
Speaker 4: of because when we started Drybar, you know, I was
Speaker 4: thirty five, there really weren't like other I don't know
Speaker 4: when like Sarah Blakey started spanks, but I just didn't
Speaker 4: have any access, you know, anybody I think of like
Speaker 4: Donna Karen or like you know, women who were kind
Speaker 4: of at the helms of companies just because her name
Speaker 4: was and she was designer, but there just wasn't.
Speaker 1: Diane von Furstenberg was.
Speaker 4: Who actually I met years ago and she ended up
Speaker 4: investing in Drybar. But you just didn't have access to
Speaker 4: any of those women and they weren't out and you know,
Speaker 4: the forefront, and it was really interesting when we started
Speaker 4: Drybar and I, you know, and it just like exploded
Speaker 4: and I found myself in these crazy situations and being
Speaker 4: interviewed and like being on TV.
Speaker 3: And it was just like, what like this little me
Speaker 3: who didn't like go to college.
Speaker 1: And about you though, because like for our listeners, let's
Speaker 1: kind of rewind for a second. Sorry, so you this
Speaker 1: just rebeats so because I'm loving what you're talking about.
Speaker 1: But you did not You graduated from high school? Yes,
Speaker 1: and you went straight into fairly course, Where did you
Speaker 1: go to high school?
Speaker 4: I grew up in Buceruto in Florida, born in New York,
Speaker 4: raised in Boca, and went to Spanish River High. And
Speaker 4: it's you know, it was like the quintessential football like
Speaker 4: all American grade high school. I just I was more
Speaker 4: interested in like the social aspectors.
Speaker 3: Probably I loved nine O two and zero.
Speaker 1: Like I was like that you got together with your friends.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was just like.
Speaker 4: It was totally social for me. But I, you know,
Speaker 4: I loved the it was fun. And then I was like,
Speaker 4: you know, I was like a C student at best.
Speaker 4: And when when all my friends were going to college,
Speaker 4: I didn't even take the SATs.
Speaker 3: I was like, I just was. I was like in
Speaker 3: my own little world and was like, oh shit, what
Speaker 3: am I going to do now?
Speaker 4: And and I did like a semester at a community
Speaker 4: college at Florida State because that's where my brother was,
Speaker 4: and and that didn't work. And then I I was like,
Speaker 4: why am I didn't? I didn't go What am I
Speaker 4: going to go to class for? I don't There's nothing
Speaker 4: I want to learn about here.
Speaker 3: It was so weird.
Speaker 4: And then I moved to New York City and I
Speaker 4: started working in fashion, and my brother and I opened
Speaker 4: a couple We were both worked for Nicole Miller and
Speaker 4: I worked and you probably remember there was a so
Speaker 4: there was a Nicole Miller's shop in Soho and I
Speaker 4: worked there as like an assistant manager, and.
Speaker 1: My daughter worked for her as an intern. Isn't that crazy?
Speaker 3: Really? Like recently or in New.
Speaker 1: York a couple of years ago?
Speaker 3: How funny?
Speaker 1: Yeah, because she's still a round Oh yeah.
Speaker 4: But when I worked for her, she was like she
Speaker 4: was one of the big fashion designers. So it was
Speaker 4: a really exciting time. And I worked at her so
Speaker 4: Ho store, which was amazing because so so cool back then.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like thirty years.
Speaker 1: It wasn't packed to the it was like very like
Speaker 1: I remember, I feel like I'm in Disneyland when I
Speaker 1: go there.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like.
Speaker 4: Very kind of square feeling now. And like I remember,
Speaker 4: like Brad Pitt walked by one day and I like,
Speaker 4: I was like, I gotta go, you guys, like I
Speaker 4: followed him for three bucks, like I was like twenty one.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, I'd follow him too.
Speaker 1: I mean my husband would follow him.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean wouldn't.
Speaker 4: He walked into like a furniture store and I was like,
Speaker 4: I guess I'm going furniture. I mean it was it's
Speaker 4: just like it was just it was so much cooler
Speaker 4: back then.
Speaker 1: I think, I wonder if you knew you were followed.
Speaker 3: I don't. I stay very far by. I like, it's
Speaker 3: so funy.
Speaker 4: I haven't thought about that in years when I was like, yeah,
Speaker 4: I followed Brad Pitt one time. But anyways, So then
Speaker 4: Michael and I and my brother moved back to South
Speaker 4: Florida and opened up a few Nicole Miller boutiques and
Speaker 4: so at the age of like nineteen, I was managing
Speaker 4: a retail store. You know, it was a license Nicole
Speaker 4: Miller's store in Bokertone and then we opened a second
Speaker 4: one in Miami and that drive is horrendous if you
Speaker 4: know that, you know the area.
Speaker 3: And I was very unhappy and I was like what
Speaker 3: am I doing?
Speaker 4: And my brother and I were fighting a lot, and
Speaker 4: I was like, you know, just lost, you know, and
Speaker 4: didn't know what I wanted to do with my life.
Speaker 3: And but you were.
Speaker 1: Twenty, but I was twenty.
Speaker 4: But it seemed like everybody else was on this path
Speaker 4: of like in college, I knew what they wanted to do,
Speaker 4: and I was like, how do you guys know?
Speaker 3: You know, like I don't know.
Speaker 4: And I was very lost and a lot of like
Speaker 4: you know, tough conversations with my mom of like what
Speaker 4: am I going to do? And I didn't really feel
Speaker 4: like I had any skill and I was like, oh shit,
Speaker 4: you know, and then things got very contentious with me
Speaker 4: and my brother because it just wasn't the right thing
Speaker 4: for either of us. And I remember like a very
Speaker 4: hard to heart conversation with my brother, who's always been
Speaker 4: like my best friend, and I said, I think I
Speaker 4: I want to go to beauty school, like hair is
Speaker 4: like the only thing that I that I love.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 4: And I was also like to backtrack, like I was
Speaker 4: that girl in high school blow drying her hair.
Speaker 1: You had good hair.
Speaker 3: I had really really hair with really good hair, right.
Speaker 4: I didn't think so I feel like now I appreciate it,
Speaker 4: but back then I was like, you know, trying to
Speaker 4: get it straight. I would like blow it out at
Speaker 4: night and then sleep on it because I was like,
Speaker 4: if I sleep on it, maybe it'll get less frizzy,
Speaker 4: which didn't work.
Speaker 3: And then I when I was in high.
Speaker 4: School, I had a job as a receptionist at a
Speaker 4: hair salon at the town Center mall, and the stilast
Speaker 4: would blow out my hair for free because it was
Speaker 4: just and I was like mesmerized watching them do it.
Speaker 3: I was like, I was just so fascinated by it.
Speaker 4: But I never paid attention to that, and I think
Speaker 4: my parents kind of looked their nose down on you
Speaker 4: want to be a hairstylist. And my parents were entrepreneurs
Speaker 4: and had their own business, which was like the Shmata
Speaker 4: you know in South Florida, a little old lady clothing store,
Speaker 4: and that's what they called it.
Speaker 3: It was like the Shmata business. You know, it's a
Speaker 3: very like New.
Speaker 4: York term and next to their shops for little hair salons, like.
Speaker 3: Little Old Lady.
Speaker 4: And I think they just had this idea in their mind,
Speaker 4: and I was like, no, I want to move to
Speaker 4: New York and you editorial and fashion shows and like
Speaker 4: this is what magazines were still a thing. And and
Speaker 4: I think that that slowly like started to come into
Speaker 4: light for me, that this is what I want to do.
Speaker 4: And so I went to beauty school when I was
Speaker 4: like nineteen or twenty, and that's that's really how it all.
Speaker 1: And then cut to twenty ten. You had an idea,
Speaker 1: and as I understand it, you went to your brother. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and you were married at the time.
Speaker 4: Yes, So what happened was, I was I had my
Speaker 4: boys who are now eighteen and twenty almost twenty one.
Speaker 3: How old are your kids?
Speaker 1: Twenty eight, twenty two and nineteen?
Speaker 4: I had that happen right anyways, my but I you know,
Speaker 4: I was always like I just wanted babies so badly
Speaker 4: asraally as I can remember. And so my first husband
Speaker 4: and I he was a creative and worked in advertising,
Speaker 4: and so we got, you know, married and had kids
Speaker 4: very very young, very quickly, and we were living in
Speaker 4: LA and I was, you know, a stay at home
Speaker 4: mom and my boys were probably two and four when
Speaker 4: I just started, and I was stay at home mom,
Speaker 4: and I felt so like lucky that I was able
Speaker 4: to do that and blessed that I had that opportunity
Speaker 4: and I loved it. But then I just got this
Speaker 4: like itch to do something for myself, and I felt
Speaker 4: I just I was just not like feeling fulfilled. I
Speaker 4: love being with my kids, but I wanted something for myself.
Speaker 4: I felt like I wasn't using my brain as much
Speaker 4: as I wanted to or something.
Speaker 1: And you had a calling.
Speaker 3: I had a calling, and so I was like what
Speaker 3: can I do? You know?
Speaker 4: And I did start some other things and was like
Speaker 4: trying to work for other people, and I was like
Speaker 4: this is not just doesn't feel right. And then I
Speaker 4: decided to start a mobile blowout business, which was called
Speaker 4: straight at Home Cute because it was like hair was
Speaker 4: just the only thing that I really knew and I
Speaker 4: was good at it. So, you know, like literally sitting
Speaker 4: in my living room with my best friend with our
Speaker 4: babies crawling around, I was like, maybe I should start
Speaker 4: a mobile blowout business and only charge like make it
Speaker 4: cheap enough so women will actually call me, because as
Speaker 4: you know, like getting a blowout, you know, in a
Speaker 4: salon or certainly someone coming to your house.
Speaker 3: Is very expensive.
Speaker 1: How much did you charge for a blowout?
Speaker 3: Forty bucks? Two twenties.
Speaker 4: I was like, that's easy for people, and so I
Speaker 4: posted on you might remember peachhead Do you remember that?
Speaker 3: Yahu Okay?
Speaker 2: So Yahoo had I was aol oh okay, but Yahoo
Speaker 2: had like a group that was called Peachheads and it
Speaker 2: was like five thousand moms in LA. And so I
Speaker 2: started posting on that and I'm like, I'm a stay
Speaker 2: home mom, I'm a longtime hairstylist. What would you think
Speaker 2: if I like came over and, you know, blew out
Speaker 2: your hair while your baby was sleeping? And I got
Speaker 2: inundated with calls.
Speaker 4: Cam made me like a one page website called straight
Speaker 4: at Home and it was like, you know, literally where
Speaker 4: were like two twenties. Feels easy and I bet people
Speaker 4: will call me because it's cheap and I'm good, you know,
Speaker 4: And so that's how it started, and I was getting called.
Speaker 4: I was like that whole thing was so wild to
Speaker 4: me because i was like driving to the Palisades. I
Speaker 4: lived in Santa Monica at the time, in like a
Speaker 4: one bedroom apartment, and I was driving to the Palisades
Speaker 4: to these like houses I never even imagined, Like I
Speaker 4: was like, people.
Speaker 3: Live like this, like holy shit.
Speaker 4: And I think that that was actually really good for
Speaker 4: me because it was so aspirational to me. I was
Speaker 4: like I could have a house like this one day,
Speaker 4: you know, and this was this was you know, fifteen
Speaker 4: years ago, and and really what happened was like these
Speaker 4: I just really connected with so many of these women,
Speaker 4: I mean, like you name it.
Speaker 3: It was like, you know, it was very.
Speaker 4: Hollywood like producers and actresses and people that I had
Speaker 4: never had any exposure to, and they loved me and
Speaker 4: they would recommend me to other friends.
Speaker 3: And that's how my little business growing. And everybody, I
Speaker 3: mean some people.
Speaker 4: Would give me fifty bucks sometimes, but most people just
Speaker 4: gave me two twenties exactly how I thought it.
Speaker 3: But I loved it. I loved every second of it because.
Speaker 4: It got me out of the house, like it got
Speaker 4: me to do something I loved. And like I was
Speaker 4: connecting with these right unknownst to me that that was coming.
Speaker 4: But these really like smart, powerful, like heavy hitter women.
Speaker 3: So that whole thing was wild.
Speaker 4: My kind of AHA was like I'm going to create
Speaker 4: a place where it just blowouts. There's no pressure to
Speaker 4: get a caught in color. There's no bait and switch,
Speaker 4: like you're not going to get charged more if you
Speaker 4: have long hair, you're gonna get charge less of your show.
Speaker 3: It was like, none of that bullshit.
Speaker 4: And it's just going to be a very like you know,
Speaker 4: like a really great experience and it's going to fit
Speaker 4: in between the fantastic SAMs of the world and like
Speaker 4: a high end salon and that didn't exist, you.
Speaker 1: Know, and that was found that white space, found.
Speaker 4: Wit and I was just it was like most businesses,
Speaker 4: it was like you know, personal, like what do I
Speaker 4: what do I wish to day? Yeah, personal necessity, And
Speaker 4: that was really what I because I as a kid,
Speaker 4: a curly hair girl growing up in South Florida, Like
Speaker 4: we were saying, who you know, it's funny now now
Speaker 4: I love my hair like this, but I didn't know
Speaker 4: how to style it back then, and it was just
Speaker 4: curly and frizzy and big.
Speaker 3: And I didn't like it.
Speaker 4: And so I spent my life and you know, I
Speaker 4: grew up in the generation of like Chrissy Brinkley and
Speaker 4: Cyndy Crawford and that like big, voluptuous, smooth hair, and
Speaker 4: I was like, I want that hair, and.
Speaker 3: I can't figure out how to fucking get it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, and so I you know, and I
Speaker 4: think that so for me, had drybar been around when
Speaker 4: I was a kid, it would have been a dream,
Speaker 4: especially at an affordable price point.
Speaker 3: And so that's what I, you know.
Speaker 4: Started to create and really just had no truly no idea,
Speaker 4: Like there.
Speaker 1: Was no like, you didn't have any kind of business training,
Speaker 1: you didn't go to college.
Speaker 3: To my parents ares that's all I had.
Speaker 1: You had, Okay, So it was kind of and my
Speaker 1: brother was like the Alex, Yeah he knows some things.
Speaker 1: They say, don't become an entrepreneur unless it's the only
Speaker 1: thing you can do.
Speaker 3: Really, who says that.
Speaker 1: People say that, well, because it's so invartved, it's so hard,
Speaker 1: there's no work life balance, it's not when you are
Speaker 1: starting your own company.
Speaker 4: I think you have to be cut from a certain
Speaker 4: cloth to be an entrepreneur. I don't know that I
Speaker 4: agree with that. I think that there's certainly not everybody's
Speaker 4: cut out for it, right, And I think you have
Speaker 4: to have a very high tolerance for risk, and you
Speaker 4: have to be like willing to bet it all and
Speaker 4: lose it all. And I remember when we were opening Drybar,
Speaker 4: and you know, I didn't really have any money. We
Speaker 4: put in our like four oh one K and our
Speaker 4: life savings, which was like not very much money. I
Speaker 4: know it was a big risk, but like I I've
Speaker 4: always felt like I always remember so well thinking if
Speaker 4: this doesn't work, like we're not going to die, I
Speaker 4: can do something something else.
Speaker 3: I felt.
Speaker 4: I just always felt really capable that I was pretty
Speaker 4: smart and like savvy. That's something my parents always said
Speaker 4: to me. They were like, you may not be book smart,
Speaker 4: but you're very street smart. I heard that growing up,
Speaker 4: and I and and maybe it was a backhanded compliment,
Speaker 4: but I always took it as.
Speaker 1: Like I heard the same thing, yeah, and I loved it, Yeah,
Speaker 1: because I don't really want to be book smart.
Speaker 3: I love people who.
Speaker 1: Are BookSmart right me too. They're like the most fast.
Speaker 3: I wish I knew a lot more about like geography.
Speaker 1: I'm very jalous history or history all that shit, all
Speaker 1: the things. Yeah, so I feel like that for me
Speaker 1: was like a confidence, like a quiet confidence that I
Speaker 1: always had that I would always land on my feet.
Speaker 3: And I really think that's carried me.
Speaker 4: And that was what I thought, you know, when we
Speaker 4: were when we were starting this business.
Speaker 3: And so you know, if you.
Speaker 4: Don't have that, I think it's impossible to be an
Speaker 4: entrepreneur because you just get consumed with worry and you're
Speaker 4: just you're you kind of end up in this like
Speaker 4: analysis paralysis, like frozen.
Speaker 3: I'm such a decisive person.
Speaker 4: I might make the wrong decision, but I will make
Speaker 4: it quickly and I and I just.
Speaker 1: Love that about you what I.
Speaker 3: And it's funny.
Speaker 4: We were on a we were on a call with
Speaker 4: my team for MESSI, which I know we haven't introduced
Speaker 4: that yet but.
Speaker 1: Okay, but.
Speaker 4: And it's funny when you hear other people talk about
Speaker 4: you because you're like, oh, that's interesting, at least that
Speaker 4: is for me. And we were on a call to
Speaker 4: somebody was asking me how I came up with the
Speaker 4: fragrance for MESSI and it was so iconic with drybar
Speaker 4: and how do you do that? And I'm like, uh,
Speaker 4: I don't know, I just I just know what I
Speaker 4: like and someone on my team is like, you will
Speaker 4: be in a meeting with Ali and you will put
Speaker 4: things in front of her and she'll say three and
Speaker 4: she'll just know. And you're like, wait, what, Like that's it,
Speaker 4: you know, And I'm like, I just and I have
Speaker 4: the supermar Yeah, I have very strong instincts. I really
Speaker 4: have very and I really trust my instincts.
Speaker 3: I love that, and I'm just.
Speaker 4: I'm not afraid didn't make a decision, even if it's
Speaker 4: the wrong decision, which a lot of times it is,
Speaker 4: but I'm I just i can't. It's such a Pepeeva
Speaker 4: mind when people and you know, when like you're raising
Speaker 4: your kids and like they're they're little and they're still
Speaker 4: figuring out who they are, so you get it. But
Speaker 4: I remember like being in stores with my kids and
Speaker 4: trying to get them to make a fucking decision and
Speaker 4: I'm like.
Speaker 1: Just seray, you want which do you want?
Speaker 3: You know?
Speaker 4: And they and they don't because it's just been But
Speaker 4: I'm just I'm always like.
Speaker 3: I feel like regret it.
Speaker 1: But I've entered this weird phase where I might be
Speaker 1: like what you're saying is really inspiring to me right
Speaker 1: now because I might be in like a what if
Speaker 1: I make the wrong decision.
Speaker 3: I think a lot of people feel.
Speaker 1: Mindset instead of because I too have very strong instincts,
Speaker 1: but I've started to second guess them, I think sometimes
Speaker 1: and allow that to kind of like and then I'll
Speaker 1: just be in this stalemate of not deciding something and
Speaker 1: I have I'm the one that has to decide things.
Speaker 4: Right, It's a lot of pressure, a lot of pressure, right,
Speaker 4: it is, And and I think that there is certainly.
Speaker 4: I mean over the years, having you know, grown dry
Speaker 4: bar and and made a lot of mistakes and learned
Speaker 4: a lot and I and I find myself now in
Speaker 4: this phase of my life with this new company.
Speaker 3: I'm much more.
Speaker 4: Open to feedback and much more open to others' opinions. Before,
Speaker 4: you know, I used to be very very reactive, which
Speaker 4: I don't think is it's and that's quite different than
Speaker 4: than decisive. But I think I take a minute more
Speaker 4: to consider more than I used to consider and then
Speaker 4: make a decision.
Speaker 1: I was just talking about this yesterday with someone really
Speaker 1: that it's you. It's it's something you've reached with age
Speaker 1: where you're able to step back for a second. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And like you say, maybe collaborate, maybe because other people's opinions,
Speaker 1: or maybe just take a beat to make sure that
Speaker 1: you're making the right decision.
Speaker 4: Well, And it is a it's a practice, yeah, you know,
Speaker 4: it's a constant practice to be like, Okay, it's.
Speaker 1: Not easy to see.
Speaker 4: It's not easy though, no, But and I think that
Speaker 4: my kids really have been the greatest teacher for me
Speaker 4: in that realm.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 4: I mean, I've you know, especially with the reactive stuff.
Speaker 4: Like my kids after my second divorce were like, I
Speaker 4: remember said they like we were in a variant conversation
Speaker 4: and they were like, we don't always know what version
Speaker 4: of you we're going to get, which is like a ouch.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I remember it just stung so badly that
Speaker 3: I was like, I got it. I gotta what am
Speaker 3: I doing?
Speaker 1: It's so great how the kids are our teachers.
Speaker 3: Such amazing teachers. And they were like it was just honest.
Speaker 4: I don't think they realized the impact it was something
Speaker 4: to have on me, but I knew in that moment
Speaker 4: it is. Because sometimes I'm a really great mom and
Speaker 4: sometimes I lose my shit, I lose my temper and
Speaker 4: they say my eyes turned red. Not anymore, you know,
Speaker 4: but I remember like that feeling of like this is
Speaker 4: not like the legacy I want to leave with my kids,
Speaker 4: and this is not how I want my kids to
Speaker 4: see me.
Speaker 3: And I have got to get my shit together.
Speaker 4: And I did, and they would tell you today that
Speaker 4: I don't show up like that anymore.
Speaker 1: That's beautiful. I have a very similar feeling like that
Speaker 1: has happened to me too. I remember my oldest daughter,
Speaker 1: after my first doors maybe it was the second doorce,
Speaker 1: I can't remember that kind of lean to get track,
Speaker 1: she bought me a little book. I think I still
Speaker 1: have it on my coffee table. So shit happens. Get
Speaker 1: over it. Because I was like dragging around anger and
Speaker 1: resentment and bitterness.
Speaker 4: I saw this quote the other day that really stuck
Speaker 4: with me that was like I'm gonna butcher it. But
Speaker 4: it was like you don't you get to decide? It
Speaker 4: was like a therapist talking to someone like you get
Speaker 4: to decide when you feel better. And because because she
Speaker 4: was like, I'm just like I can't get over this.
Speaker 4: I'm so I'm so sad, I'm so heartbroken over and
Speaker 4: you know, it's like, well when and she says, well,
Speaker 4: when should I get over it, and the therapist says,
Speaker 4: how about Thursday, you know, and I was like, it's
Speaker 4: so brilliant.
Speaker 3: It's like and I really believe that, you know.
Speaker 4: I mean for me going through my second divorce, my
Speaker 4: was horrific for me and just heartbreaking on the floor,
Speaker 4: felt like I was going to die, terrible, and I
Speaker 4: remember like having a like a moment of clarity and
Speaker 4: being like, I I'm not going to choose this anymore.
Speaker 4: I don't want to be this perp. I don't want
Speaker 4: to be this sad, bitter, bitter, angry person.
Speaker 3: I'm fuck this.
Speaker 4: I'm like I'm gonna And I literally remember like the
Speaker 4: visual of like I'm going to catapult myself out of
Speaker 4: this and just just pick.
Speaker 3: Myself up and start moving on with my life. And
Speaker 3: I did.
Speaker 1: It's always for me, it always goes back to something
Speaker 1: I learned in some therapy.
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 1: It's it's the decision is either it's vanilla or chocolate.
Speaker 1: Like if you ask somebody what kind of ice cream
Speaker 1: is your favorite? Vanilla or chocolate, you're like vanilla, Like
Speaker 1: you know immediately right, And that's how why I can't
Speaker 1: feeling that with every everything. So I think for me too,
Speaker 1: after the divorces. It was it was like flip the switch, right,
Speaker 1: Like you've done it enough of being sad and crying
Speaker 1: and this, and there.
Speaker 3: Is a time and a place and let it.
Speaker 4: Like I really believe in that, and I think that
Speaker 4: there's a lot of important work around grief and acknowledging that.
Speaker 4: But then at some point you just you do make
Speaker 4: that decision.
Speaker 3: I love the vanilla or chocolate.
Speaker 4: It's like it's you get one shot, Like how much
Speaker 4: more time are you going to give to this?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: You know, and it changes everything when you're like I'm
Speaker 1: done with that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm ready for really powerful.
Speaker 1: It really is, but it's so hard to get there
Speaker 1: when you're in it.
Speaker 4: I know, I know, and I was in it, and
Speaker 4: you know, I was talking to somebody about a friend
Speaker 4: who's going through something hard and she was like kind
Speaker 4: of reminded me. She's like, you remember when you were there, right.
Speaker 4: I was like, She's like, I think you forget how
Speaker 4: this feels.
Speaker 3: And I was like, oh no, I don't forget how
Speaker 3: that feels.
Speaker 4: That was that was like seared into me, that pain,
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, and I will never forget it.
Speaker 3: I don't feel it anymore.
Speaker 4: I can't connect to it anymore, but I remember it,
Speaker 4: you know. But I also remember being making the active
Speaker 4: decision like I gotta get on with it and got
Speaker 4: to go, like I don't have endless time.
Speaker 3: I have to get on with it.
Speaker 1: Do you feel like you're better off from all those
Speaker 1: things that felt like the worst things ever to happen
Speaker 1: to you?
Speaker 4: And that's that's that's the like holy rail right, the
Speaker 4: grace of Yes, I'm so much. I feel like I'm
Speaker 4: happier in my life now than maybe i've ever been.
Speaker 1: When who when you were just mopping the floor with
Speaker 1: your with your.
Speaker 3: Body and your body.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I remember so distinctly feeling like I'm never
Speaker 4: going to get over this. I'm never going to be okay,
Speaker 4: I'm never gonna be happy again.
Speaker 3: She wasn't true.
Speaker 4: It's never true. It's a lie that we tell ourselves,
Speaker 4: you know.
Speaker 1: So your first divorce you were with your business partner, Yes,
Speaker 1: was that father of my children? Not to be funny,
Speaker 1: it was that messy. I mean, I'm sure it was.
Speaker 4: The funds are endless, you know, it was. It was
Speaker 4: messy a little you know, in you know, I mean,
Speaker 4: I feel like probably both of us have seen a
Speaker 4: lot of our friends go through divorces that are much
Speaker 4: messier and horrific. I've seen a lot of people go
Speaker 4: through divorces I wouldn't wish upon anybody. None of mine
Speaker 4: were like that. Mine were all really and with.
Speaker 3: Both of them. I mean, my first divorce from cam
Speaker 3: my kid's dad. He's an amazing man. He's you know,
Speaker 3: we probably shouldn't have gotten married so young. Yeah, you know,
Speaker 3: we were like and now.
Speaker 4: It's like, especially with you, you said you have a
Speaker 4: twenty eight year old. Yeah, I was married when I
Speaker 4: was twenty seven, and I don't know if your twenty
Speaker 4: eight year old is married yet.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but you know, it's funny looking back because you
Speaker 4: think you're so you feel so old then, but it's
Speaker 4: like you're like, oh God, don't marry the person that
Speaker 4: you should you know when you were That's how I feel,
Speaker 4: and not to say that it doesn't it can't work,
Speaker 4: and I know to be skeptical.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's weird because I have three daughters and
Speaker 1: they all think that who they're with, well except one
Speaker 1: of them. They all think like, I know, we're going
Speaker 1: to be together forever, and I'm like, I hope so
Speaker 1: for you, I hope that for you, Yeah, I want
Speaker 1: that ease of life for you, like but it's unlikely,
Speaker 1: but also maybe you need to go experience right something.
Speaker 4: That's the thing is like I do think that, like
Speaker 4: I wouldn't change anything. I mean, I can get into my.
Speaker 3: Own like pity story of like oh I've been married twice.
Speaker 4: And like what of like loser men can I can
Speaker 4: let that narrative in a little. But then I've been
Speaker 4: on the flip side, like what I just said two
Speaker 4: minutes ago, I'm the happiest I've ever been. So everything
Speaker 4: I've done in my life, I feel like is where
Speaker 4: this is just where I'm supposed to be. And that's
Speaker 4: you know, and you're asking about my first divorce, but
Speaker 4: the second divorce taught me.
Speaker 3: World about myself. The first divorce was like I was,
Speaker 3: I needed to get out. I wasn't happy. He wasn't
Speaker 3: happy either. I just had to be the one to
Speaker 3: really call it and it was it.
Speaker 4: Was a little messy in the bena. My son did
Speaker 4: go into rehab and it was like.
Speaker 3: It wasn't it wasn't smooth sale like.
Speaker 4: By any means. He's great now but good but and
Speaker 4: I don't even know. I wouldn't say it was the divorce.
Speaker 4: It was just a confidence.
Speaker 1: You were like, oh, it's the divorce.
Speaker 3: Yeah course. I felt very shameful about it.
Speaker 4: I didn't want to talk about it because I felt
Speaker 4: like it hears this like successful entrepreneurs, like touting dry
Speaker 4: bar and all this stuff, and then she's got this kid,
Speaker 4: and I felt like, oh, I must be a failure
Speaker 4: of a mom. I don't feel that at that at
Speaker 4: all anymore. I think, you know, our children are on
Speaker 4: their own paths and there's not actually a whole lot
Speaker 4: we can do if you really think about it, you know.
Speaker 4: And I think my son was going to go through
Speaker 4: what he went through at some point, regardless of what
Speaker 4: I was having hit his dad and I and actually,
Speaker 4: in retrospect, I feel like, I know, it's it sounds
Speaker 4: crazy and shocking. And he went into rehab when he
Speaker 4: was thirteen, which is a lot.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a lot.
Speaker 4: But I also like I had jurisdiction over him, you know,
Speaker 4: because once they're eighteen, you know. I mean, just a
Speaker 4: quick side story. I was my brother and I had
Speaker 4: our podcast years ago, Raising the Bar, and we were
Speaker 4: doing interviewing entrepreneurs all the time, and when when when
Speaker 4: the ship was going down with the divorce and my
Speaker 4: son was really spiraling and by the way, he was
Speaker 4: like he was smoking like marijuana at like an excessive rate,
Speaker 4: and that was really and it was a real It
Speaker 4: was really more of an emotional thing than anything. And
Speaker 4: he was using the the you know, weed to self
Speaker 4: medicaid and which I didn't know any of that back then.
Speaker 4: But anyways, we were doing this podcast Grant and by
Speaker 4: the way, it's in my book, I have his permission
Speaker 4: to speak about it, which I just feel like to
Speaker 4: clarify because it's history. I wouldn't tell it if if
Speaker 4: he wasn't okay with it. But you know, he we
Speaker 4: were doing this podcast and I was I was actually
Speaker 4: gonna bail. I was like, you do the interview, Mike.
Speaker 4: I just emotionally just can't do it today. And he
Speaker 4: and he was like, just please come, please come, And
Speaker 4: then I was like fine. I was like, You're gonna
Speaker 4: have to carry it though, because I'm just in no state.
Speaker 4: So we get to the I get to the studio
Speaker 4: and the girl we were interviewing, which I can't believe
Speaker 4: I can't remember her name and it bothers me because
Speaker 4: she was it was so import in what a gift
Speaker 4: and angel she was to me. That day, I came
Speaker 4: in really like down, and I didn't know what to
Speaker 4: do about Grant. And Cam and I were in this
Speaker 4: like are we going to send him to rehab at thirteen?
Speaker 4: Like that's crazy? Like we're what, like I could we
Speaker 4: couldn't pull the trigger? Yeah, And I was really we
Speaker 4: were really like back and forth about it, and I
Speaker 4: sat down with this woman we were interviewing, and you know,
Speaker 4: I've become like an open book and I'll just tell
Speaker 4: anybody anything and whatever. It's like I hate small talk,
Speaker 4: and so I'm like, I'm just going to tell you
Speaker 4: my whole life, you know, and you can run for
Speaker 4: the hells if you want. But so I sat down
Speaker 4: and I kind of gave her. I was like I
Speaker 4: kind of was like I like told her of what
Speaker 4: was going on. And she said to me, you know,
Speaker 4: I my older brother in high school also started smoking
Speaker 4: pot and got very addicted to it. My parents like
Speaker 4: kind of just didn't know what to do, so they
Speaker 4: didn't do anything. And they kind of just like you know,
Speaker 4: kind of hid their heads and didn't know what to do,
Speaker 4: didn't have resources like brew his deduction, his addiction.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and he died.
Speaker 4: Of a heroin overdose when he was twenty one, and
Speaker 4: I was like, that's not that and I needed to
Speaker 4: hear that story. Like it makes me tear up thinking
Speaker 4: about it because I was like, holy shit. And I
Speaker 4: remember calling Cam and I'm like, we're sending him and
Speaker 4: he was so mad at us, and he it was
Speaker 4: terrible in the beginning, but you know, he's got these tools,
Speaker 4: he knows who he is, he knows what's happening.
Speaker 3: It's like I feel like.
Speaker 4: Honestly, every human should have to kind of go through
Speaker 4: and on some level, like he went to wilderness, a
Speaker 4: wilderness program where he was living off the land in Utah. Wow,
Speaker 4: And like we came out to visit him and he
Speaker 4: was like making fire and he whittle a spoon and
Speaker 4: he was I mean, it was just like I was like.
Speaker 3: Who are you?
Speaker 4: But he was just like I was like, I think
Speaker 4: every human should have to go through something that's like
Speaker 4: grit building like that, and he really emerged from it.
Speaker 3: A completely different kid. I mean, and we came home.
Speaker 4: It was the process, but it was you know, I
Speaker 4: just tell the story because I feel like I was
Speaker 4: I had self man over the fact that I a
Speaker 4: thirteen year old go to rehab.
Speaker 3: But when you look at it like that, you know, I'm.
Speaker 4: Like, I feel really grateful that I was able to
Speaker 4: do that, and then I had the means and the resources.
Speaker 1: Yeah, to help him, you know. So so I know
Speaker 1: that you said before you start a dry bar with
Speaker 1: your brother, Yes, have you learned how to keep boundaries
Speaker 1: when you know you're in those sort of intertwined spaces.
Speaker 1: I bet that's been challenging.
Speaker 4: It has, and mostly because I think, you know, for me,
Speaker 4: I grew up in this like if you're okay, I'm okay,
Speaker 4: you know I'm And it's like, I think, you know,
Speaker 4: my dad was a little bit like my kids say,
Speaker 4: I was like I kind of didn't know what I
Speaker 4: was going to get.
Speaker 1: You were kind of on edge.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and and so and I think I always just
Speaker 4: felt like my brother is so much smarter than me,
Speaker 4: and I always felt inferior to him. And it would
Speaker 4: take me several years to like for that to balance out.
Speaker 4: And then even even now, it's kind of a funny,
Speaker 4: it's kind of a joke, but there's so much truth
Speaker 4: in it. Like sometimes if my brother just calls me
Speaker 4: or he texts me like, hey, do you have a second,
Speaker 4: I'm like.
Speaker 3: Oh, I'm in trouble. It's my first instinct.
Speaker 4: When my any of my ex husbands, they like, heye, Ali,
Speaker 4: do you have a minute.
Speaker 1: It's a fighter moment.
Speaker 3: It is. It's like it's yeah, like the lion's coming.
Speaker 4: And so that is, you know, with with boundaries, I
Speaker 4: think I don't know if that's the right answer, but
Speaker 4: I I think I'm.
Speaker 3: You know, I don't I don't know.
Speaker 4: I feel like I I think maybe I was answering
Speaker 4: a different question, but I think I think more appropriate,
Speaker 4: I guess is to say, like, especially with starting this
Speaker 4: new company and you know, having sold Drybar and not
Speaker 4: being like is tethered in the way that I was
Speaker 4: because it was retail, it was just kind of we
Speaker 4: it's you know, one hundred and fifty stores open seven
Speaker 4: days a week, so you just don't have any space
Speaker 4: from it. Whereas like now it's just a product business,
Speaker 4: I have a lot more space, and you know, and
Speaker 4: I you know, I feel like I've kind of earned
Speaker 4: the right to travel and you know, create my own
Speaker 4: schedule and so I'm pretty boundaried with that good time
Speaker 4: with my time, and it's like I want to go
Speaker 4: out of town, I want to go travel, I want
Speaker 4: to go do this, like I'm going to do it,
Speaker 4: and like my team can adjust and I'll and not,
Speaker 4: you know, I will be there for the things that
Speaker 4: I need to be there for in person. And and
Speaker 4: and sometimes there's some like you know, gymnastics that have
Speaker 4: to go on to make things happen.
Speaker 3: But I feel like, yeah, that's what I'm doing, you know.
Speaker 3: And and I do get that like feeling in the
Speaker 3: back of my mind like is my brother going to
Speaker 3: get mad at me?
Speaker 4: But I'm like I don't care, you know. And and meanwhile,
Speaker 4: my brother not that I don't care, but I'm like.
Speaker 3: But this is this is this is my one life,
Speaker 3: you know.
Speaker 4: And and my brother's a big golfer, you know, And
Speaker 4: like we were just last week.
Speaker 3: He was like, I'm going to be in this golf tournament.
Speaker 4: So if I'm slow to respond, and I was like, good,
Speaker 4: I'm glad you're doing that with balance is important, you know.
Speaker 4: And and part of part of that was posturing for
Speaker 4: like me, because like I'm going to be out of town,
Speaker 4: not super reachable and i've better than a connection.
Speaker 3: And he does it, you know, and we and we
Speaker 3: and I think that that's.
Speaker 4: Also you know, back to like being an entrepreneur. You
Speaker 4: have to be able to balance that stuff for yourself.
Speaker 4: Of like I know, I'm you know, I think gone
Speaker 4: are the days of like working I mean not for everybody.
Speaker 4: I'm sure lots of companies still operate like this, like
Speaker 4: but nine to five and like you're sitting at a
Speaker 4: desk all day.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. A model doesn't really work right
Speaker 1: when I think, especially for like a small business.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I think people are you've yeah, and yourself.
Speaker 3: People are so much more.
Speaker 4: I believe, like energized if you can like sure be
Speaker 4: in the office if you need to connect with people,
Speaker 4: which I actually really like. I love when my team
Speaker 4: is altogether because it's like ideas flow more. It's like
Speaker 4: the in person so much better than zoom. But if
Speaker 4: you're not you know, but my team is like all
Speaker 4: over the place. We have a you know, our marketing
Speaker 4: girls in New York and our president is in Texas
Speaker 4: and so we're all over the place and you know,
Speaker 4: and so it's like I don't go do yoga and
Speaker 4: middle of the day.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 4: It's like when in my Elizabeth, who's the president of
Speaker 4: a company, she's got two little girls, and like she's
Speaker 4: pretty much she's actually the one who sits at her
Speaker 4: desk all day and then at like five o'clock she's out.
Speaker 3: And then she's like kids bats, Yeah, all of a sudden,
Speaker 3: and we just know.
Speaker 4: And I really respect that boundary and really, unless something
Speaker 4: really crazy is going on, I won't bother her at
Speaker 4: that time, Whereas like they know, they can text me
Speaker 4: at nine o'clock at night and I'll.
Speaker 3: Be like, Okay, let's talk about it. You know.
Speaker 4: So it's and learning, you know what your comfort level
Speaker 4: is with that. And I really don't think that everybody's
Speaker 4: cut out for that, Like I think some people do
Speaker 4: really like and thrive on like the concistency structure. And
Speaker 4: I think that's the other differentiator of an entrepreneur, somebody
Speaker 4: who can like just kind of quickly move between things.
Speaker 4: And for me, it's like personal business is so very intertwined,
Speaker 4: you know, I talk about it all like it's just
Speaker 4: all kind of coexists.
Speaker 3: For me, and I think some people need it to not.
Speaker 1: Like that's my job right, and when I'm done, I'm
Speaker 1: done right.
Speaker 3: And I've just never been that person.
Speaker 1: I haven't eaten. I feel like all, you know, just
Speaker 1: working on sets. My whole life that you had like
Speaker 1: a you had a turnaround law, like they couldn't work
Speaker 1: you over twelve hours without paying you extra. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: so I kind of lived my life in twelve hour increments.
Speaker 1: I feel like twelve hours is a long time all
Speaker 1: the time. Yeah, yeah, it gets tiring.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but that's But then when you would walk off set,
Speaker 4: do you are you like, bye, you don't?
Speaker 3: Do you not think about it?
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't take my job home with me
Speaker 1: now I do now that it's my business. Now that's
Speaker 1: my what I'm passionate about.
Speaker 4: But like as an actor, and I sorry, I know
Speaker 4: this is your interview, not mine, but I'm so curious,
Speaker 4: like if you like, do you think about the character?
Speaker 4: Like do you think about what you're doing when you're
Speaker 4: not on set? Or is it only like you turn
Speaker 4: it on when you walk on set?
Speaker 1: You know, everybody's different. I think, yeah, everybody's different. I
Speaker 1: would say that I think about it a lot before,
Speaker 1: but once it's done, once the scene's over, once my
Speaker 1: work is done for the day, I'm out.
Speaker 4: You know, I always felt like I don't know how
Speaker 4: anybody can be an actress because you'd have to memorize
Speaker 4: all those lines, and that feels like the hardest, the
Speaker 4: busiest thing in the world to me.
Speaker 1: It used to be really easy. Now it's a little harder.
Speaker 3: Really.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think if you don't use it, you lose it.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 1: I want to talk to you about something that I
Speaker 1: think is so amazing because you, with Drybar, built this image,
Speaker 1: this world of the smoothed out hair, the perfect hair.
Speaker 3: You're like, what's happening?
Speaker 1: Now you have the exact opposite, and you're making just
Speaker 1: as big of a business out of it as you
Speaker 1: did dry Bar.
Speaker 3: Try and.
Speaker 1: Was that an intentional I'm going to flip the script.
Speaker 1: I'm going to do the opposite and see how that goes.
Speaker 4: No, it wasn't premeditated at all. There was never It
Speaker 4: only really developed about two years ago, and it was
Speaker 4: just so organic and authentic to where I was in
Speaker 4: my life. I think when Covid had sold Drybar right
Speaker 4: before Covid hit like a week like we sold it
Speaker 4: at the end of March twenty twenty and I had
Speaker 4: identital us when we sold Drybar because I was like
Speaker 4: and yeah, and then COVID didn't help, but I would.
Speaker 4: But but I just met my second husband. I was
Speaker 4: like head every heels in love, and I was like, Oh,
Speaker 4: we're just going to be shacked up at home for
Speaker 4: two years, okay, Like I was actually like fine with it,
Speaker 4: which really, you know, wasn't We had been dating for
Speaker 4: such a short time. We weren't ready to move into that.
Speaker 4: That's part of the problem, but that's a whole other podcasts.
Speaker 1: Oh COVID relationship.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was like it made or broke It made
Speaker 4: you or broke you, and it made us.
Speaker 3: I just would eventually break us.
Speaker 4: But because it was all very premature because we were
Speaker 4: you know, we shouldn't have moved in together as early
Speaker 4: as we did, but COVID kind of forced us into
Speaker 4: not force us, but you know, so anyway, but during
Speaker 4: that time, I sold Drybar and now we were home
Speaker 4: and nobody was going anywhere, so I'd kind of stopped
Speaker 4: coloring my hair and so stop blow drying my hair
Speaker 4: because I was I don't know, I wasn't going it.
Speaker 3: I didn't need to do it. Just kind of fell away, and.
Speaker 4: Up until that point, over the last like fifteen years,
Speaker 4: like my hair just never grew, or so I thought.
Speaker 4: I think my hair was just constantly breaking. And I
Speaker 4: just kind of like abandoned blowing out my hair. Not
Speaker 4: because I was like, I'm going to stop blowing out
Speaker 4: my hair to see if it grows and I see if.
Speaker 3: I can start this new company.
Speaker 4: Like not at all, it's just like what was happening
Speaker 4: to me in that time, and I noticed my hair
Speaker 4: getting healthier and starting to grow and stopped breaking, and so,
Speaker 4: you know, it didn't even occur to me, you know.
Speaker 3: And then I started writing my second book, The Messy.
Speaker 4: Truth, while I was you know, happily you know, in
Speaker 4: a relationship, got engaged, and was just wrote up my
Speaker 4: whole story of like you know, building drybars, selling it,
Speaker 4: scaling it.
Speaker 3: Everything.
Speaker 4: I every like business lesson I could think of is
Speaker 4: in the book. So proud of it, loved how it
Speaker 4: came out, and it was about I guess it was
Speaker 4: my book was I was gearing up for a big
Speaker 4: book tour, so I guess this was in like like
Speaker 4: around twenty twenty one. I don't even you know, it's
Speaker 4: so funny it's like every it's such a blur, like.
Speaker 3: I got you lost two years and everybody lost two Yeah.
Speaker 4: And I got engaged at that somewhere in there, you know,
Speaker 4: on my honeymoon, I was like finishing up my book,
Speaker 4: like I was spending time with my book and my
Speaker 4: you know. Then husband was like or he was like,
Speaker 4: you know, reading it with me, Like it was like
Speaker 4: it was great, you know, life seemed great. And then
Speaker 4: it's our relationship started to very quickly unravel and which
Speaker 4: I you know, won't get into the details of that,
Speaker 4: but so I was about it was about a maybe
Speaker 4: a month away from going to print, and our relationship
Speaker 4: fell apart, and I was like, oh shit.
Speaker 3: And that's when I was, you know, on the floor.
Speaker 4: And one of my I don't want and now I
Speaker 4: was like I don't want to go on a book tour,
Speaker 4: like I don't want to do anything.
Speaker 3: I don't want to do anything, you know. I was devastated,
Speaker 3: and so that wasn't going to fly.
Speaker 4: I got a very big book deal moments. Yeah, and
Speaker 4: so it was like, okay, what now. And I at
Speaker 4: the time, I had a really great assistant who I
Speaker 4: was like, you work with. I hired a PR firm.
Speaker 4: I was like, you just do it, like, just plan it.
Speaker 4: I'll show up where, you know, which is very not
Speaker 4: my style. I'm pretty like type A controlling and I
Speaker 4: was like, I don't care, just figure it out, you know.
Speaker 3: And luckily she was. Her name is Celia and she
Speaker 3: was amazing.
Speaker 4: And but my agent was like, you have to put
Speaker 4: this in the book. I was like, what, like the
Speaker 4: breakup because the last chapter of the book is all
Speaker 4: about finding love and my second marriage and wearing a
Speaker 4: pink dress to my wedding, which was so beautiful, you know,
Speaker 4: the great Girl, the girls from the Great Emily and
Speaker 4: marriage and a brand.
Speaker 3: So they made my custom dress for me.
Speaker 4: It was the most beautiful dress and the wedding was phenomenal.
Speaker 4: It was so beautiful because you know, your first wedding
Speaker 4: is like what your parents want. Your second wedding is
Speaker 4: what you want, you know, and so and you know,
Speaker 4: and I pulled out all the stops and that we
Speaker 4: had this beautiful wedding, and I wrote all about it
Speaker 4: in my last chapter.
Speaker 1: Did you have to do it like an addendum?
Speaker 4: I did an afterward after and because my agent was like,
Speaker 4: you have to you cannot put this book out in
Speaker 4: the world and publish my publisher too.
Speaker 3: They're like, you can't.
Speaker 4: It's going to be like what you know, And so
Speaker 4: I wrote this like grueling afterward, which is funny to
Speaker 4: read now because I was like, I was so in it, yeah,
Speaker 4: and but I had to. And I you know, I
Speaker 4: like under the wire, like I remember them emailing me like, Ali,
Speaker 4: if we don't get this by Friday, oh.
Speaker 1: God, I love this. Our lives are parallel right now,
Speaker 1: by the way, really Friday is my deadline.
Speaker 3: And I was like, okay.
Speaker 4: So I wrote it like one night, at like two
Speaker 4: in the morning, I said I had a ghostwriter.
Speaker 3: I sent to my garsh. I was like, does this
Speaker 3: sound like happening?
Speaker 4: And she's like, it's pretty good. She like made a
Speaker 4: couple of tweaks and shipped it, you know. And so
Speaker 4: I really wasn't. I really had like retreated from social
Speaker 4: media and everything during that time, and so when the
Speaker 4: book came out, I started slowly talking about it, and
Speaker 4: then I was doing interviews, and by the time the
Speaker 4: book came out, I was I was in a much
Speaker 4: better place.
Speaker 3: Not great, but better.
Speaker 4: But anyways, so during this time, my my hair was
Speaker 4: kind of going through a transformation as as I was,
Speaker 4: and I just I kind of just got like sick
Speaker 4: of like, you know that, like the was like being
Speaker 4: a slave to my hair. Then I was like, I
Speaker 4: think I have to, like I just don't want to
Speaker 4: do it anymore. But then I was like I started
Speaker 4: kind of experimenting with, you know, how do I get
Speaker 4: my hair to look good curly because.
Speaker 1: About the heat and all the day about the.
Speaker 3: Heat and all this stuff. And I was like, and
Speaker 3: I cause I don't want to go back to that.
Speaker 3: I don't, you know.
Speaker 4: And I just kind of like was like I don't
Speaker 4: think I love a blowout anymore, and its I do.
Speaker 3: I mean I actually just had my hair colored like
Speaker 3: last week and they blew it out and I was like, oh.
Speaker 4: Right, I remember why I like this, and I do
Speaker 4: and I do still like it, but I just, you know,
Speaker 4: I got I just became so so like identified with
Speaker 4: my hair like this, and I started to really fall
Speaker 4: in love with it.
Speaker 3: And I was like it's so.
Speaker 4: Pretty, Like why have I never embraced this? And so
Speaker 4: but then I was like, how do I get it
Speaker 4: to look this way? Because if I just let it
Speaker 4: dry naturally, it would dry kind of crazy. It's curlier
Speaker 4: in some parts than the others. And then I started
Speaker 4: I just started experimenting, and I was like, what now
Speaker 4: we call like a rough dry cream which is our
Speaker 4: hero product and messy O rough drying it?
Speaker 1: Wait, I for you today. I know you love red lipstick.
Speaker 1: I wore red and I try to do messy.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I think you did a good job.
Speaker 1: I feel like I might. It looks like I just
Speaker 1: like had a romp in the hay, like.
Speaker 3: Which was dry. Hey, what's wrong with that?
Speaker 1: It's just I don't know, but I you're right, I
Speaker 1: didn't have the right product.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Well it's the products.
Speaker 4: And that's the thing is like I couldn't find a
Speaker 4: product that I liked to like, which now we were
Speaker 4: talking about it, it's like rough drying it, putting it
Speaker 4: in twist and letting it dry in a twist, because
Speaker 4: you know, the way hair dries is the way it stays.
Speaker 4: If you had a blowout and someone's using a round
Speaker 4: brush or worn over again, that's how it's going to say.
Speaker 4: If you twist your hair when it's wet damp, I
Speaker 4: should say not wet. You know, you're rough drying it
Speaker 4: a little with the the rough dry styling thing you
Speaker 4: have and let it dry. It'll dry. It has like
Speaker 4: a soft hole and so it really dries in the
Speaker 4: way that you leave it. If you have like hair
Speaker 4: that's on the straighter side, I always tell people to
Speaker 4: like clip it up in.
Speaker 3: The twist and let it dry.
Speaker 4: So I was experimenting with this, and I was like, huh,
Speaker 4: and I started to really like the way my hair looked,
Speaker 4: Like I felt like, oh my god, I cracked the code,
Speaker 4: you know, and.
Speaker 3: I was so excited. Then I started talking to my brother.
Speaker 4: I was like, I kind of think that there's an
Speaker 4: opportunity to create a product here that like embrace the
Speaker 4: hair that you have, like get the hair that you
Speaker 4: want with the hair that you have. And you know,
Speaker 4: I think so many women and I think that I'm
Speaker 4: partially responsible for this, and teenage girls for sure. And
Speaker 4: I'm curious with your girls, like because I hear it
Speaker 4: from moms all the time.
Speaker 3: You know. We set this standard of like the perfect blowout.
Speaker 3: I mean that was our tagline, you know, And so.
Speaker 4: A lot of hair got damaged, like the literal collateral
Speaker 4: damage of overheat styling. And I'm not saying don't ever
Speaker 4: blow out your hair, but don't do it every day.
Speaker 4: And here's an all, here's a solution, and I'm going
Speaker 4: to give you the products and give you like the
Speaker 4: technique to do it and permission. That was the other
Speaker 4: thing is like if you know, it's like I love
Speaker 4: it when you see, you know, in magazines are on
Speaker 4: red carpets, when like when like Nicole Kidman lets her
Speaker 4: hair be baby, it's so beautiful, you know, and not
Speaker 4: even that extreme use her hair so curly. But you're
Speaker 4: just you know, if you start seeing women who are
Speaker 4: embracing a messy or not so perfect look and you're like, oh,
Speaker 4: I like that, I can maybe pull that off.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's so it's kind of profound because you've
Speaker 1: gone through this life all the messy parts, and now
Speaker 1: you are inviting women to sort of embrace their messiness, right,
Speaker 1: which is such a good message. Stop worrying so much
Speaker 1: about being perfect and being unmessy and you know, just
Speaker 1: really encouraging women to be natural, be themselves and also
Speaker 1: giving us great products help us to do well.
Speaker 4: And you know, all the products and you'll see that
Speaker 4: you know, I brought them off for you. It's like
Speaker 4: the rough dry styling cream is the mantra. Every product
Speaker 4: has a mantra.
Speaker 3: I am enough.
Speaker 4: The silk revival stuff that I sprayed in your hair
Speaker 4: is like you know, I am transformed, and the serum
Speaker 4: is I am unbreakable, and the shampoos I can begin
Speaker 4: again and you know and again.
Speaker 3: It's like that is part.
Speaker 4: Of that was part of my kind of spiritual journey
Speaker 4: of like I want you to think read I'm enough.
Speaker 4: I mean we I'm sure you've studied this too. It's
Speaker 4: like I love neuroscience. Not that I'm That's something I
Speaker 4: wish I had learn more about in school, but like
Speaker 4: you know that we can change like the neuropathways in
Speaker 4: our brains, and like by saying or even just reading
Speaker 4: in your mind I am enough or I am transformed,
Speaker 4: it gives you that little bit of confidence and like
Speaker 4: boost And that's what I want, you know, these products
Speaker 4: to do, like to make your immuine listen. I'm a
Speaker 4: beauty girl. I love vanity like I love it all,
Speaker 4: but I also like there is a spiritual like component
Speaker 4: to all of this too. It's like I want women
Speaker 4: to feel it, feel their best, look their best, and
Speaker 4: embrace it. And it's it's going to look different for everyone.
Speaker 4: I Mean, what's been really interesting to me now is
Speaker 4: watching and if you look at our instagram, it's messy.
Speaker 3: You'll see all the tutorials of.
Speaker 1: Good of like walkun this morning.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's crazy because and I watch them and I
Speaker 4: learned stuff too, you know. I mean, I'm such a
Speaker 4: like seeker and learner and there's always more to learn.
Speaker 4: And I watch the way some of these girls are
Speaker 4: doing theirs and I'm like, oh, like some of them
Speaker 4: are doing bigger tow with, some of them are doing
Speaker 4: smallers with. Some of them are like, you know, using
Speaker 4: a diffuser just to put the heat on the hair,
Speaker 4: not to like diffuse it up. And I you know,
Speaker 4: and it's really interesting and amazing to watch how other
Speaker 4: women are, you know, incorporating this into their routine and
Speaker 4: and you know, it actually happens to be a great
Speaker 4: blowout cream too, the rough dry striling can because it's
Speaker 4: such a beautiful formula and it gives you that soft
Speaker 4: hold for whatever cele you're going for, and you know,
Speaker 4: and so all the products are are very very versatile.
Speaker 4: I like wearing my hair like this now and some
Speaker 4: but sometimes they blow it out and I still use
Speaker 4: my products, you know.
Speaker 3: So it's really like give women permission to like chill
Speaker 3: a little on the heat and allow their hair to
Speaker 3: you know, transform and hydrate it.
Speaker 1: Like, yeah, just take control. And if you want to
Speaker 1: wear your hair natural and curly, and who's to say
Speaker 1: you shouldn't. And we've seen those ideals are just gone now.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know.
Speaker 4: And I think I think, like, like, just like fashion,
Speaker 4: like everything comes full circle and comes back around again.
Speaker 4: And I think, you know, we're seeing bigger hair, We're
Speaker 4: seeing more messy, less perfect, you know, undone. And I
Speaker 4: think women really want healthier hair. I mean, healthier hair
Speaker 4: looks better. And so if your hair, you know, what
Speaker 4: does that look like, it's like hydrated hair, Like you know,
Speaker 4: all of our products that are meant to hydrate your
Speaker 4: hair and make your hair feel really good.
Speaker 1: For me, I cannot wait to get into my bathroom
Speaker 1: and I can't wait wait my new products.
Speaker 4: I can't wait for you to use the shampoo and
Speaker 4: conditioner because that's really where it starts, you foundation.
Speaker 1: Literally, I was washing my hair this morning and I
Speaker 1: was thinking, I wasn't thinking about you, but I was like,
Speaker 1: I got to get a better hair regime, like my
Speaker 1: you know, my thing. I've been using this for a
Speaker 1: while and so of switch it up and like totally
Speaker 1: new technology. And yeah, also just like I want to
Speaker 1: really embrace your ethos of like it's okay.
Speaker 4: And I think you'll find that like from it, you know,
Speaker 4: I would I feel like I'd never make a product
Speaker 4: line without a shampoo conditioner because it is so foundational
Speaker 4: for everything else. And then you know the rough dry cream.
Speaker 4: You'll see how that feels in your hair. And then
Speaker 4: the overnight serum we have, which is like this beautiful
Speaker 4: glass bottle that's meant to sit next to your bed
Speaker 4: because like it should be the last thing you do.
Speaker 1: What's it say? What's what's its positive message?
Speaker 4: It's I will not be broken? Yeah, and which is
Speaker 4: a double entendre because it's like your hair, you're broken,
Speaker 4: and so we say, put it next to your bed
Speaker 4: and put it in your hair before you go to
Speaker 4: sleep at night. That's what I do every night. I
Speaker 4: put the serum in my hair before I go to sleep,
Speaker 4: just my ends. I do it in the morning too.
Speaker 4: It has preserved my hair because when you sleep, and
Speaker 4: I'm sure you put stuff on your skin when you
Speaker 4: go to sleep, at night.
Speaker 1: That's right.
Speaker 3: Everybody does, right, why don't we do hair? Hair?
Speaker 4: It's the same thing, and like hair is This is
Speaker 4: the other interesting thing that I've discovered in this they've
Speaker 4: been developing this brand, is like we have a lot
Speaker 4: of hair baggage. You know, if I tell you that
Speaker 4: I like your lipstick or your eyeline or whatever, you'd
Speaker 4: be like, oh, it's this brand and I'll send it
Speaker 4: to you to If I tell you I like your hair,
Speaker 4: you'll be like, nah, I don't know, it doesn't look
Speaker 4: great today.
Speaker 3: It's like we're so weirdly negative about our hair.
Speaker 4: It's like, so, why are we not doing more things
Speaker 4: to like preserve it and take care of it? And
Speaker 4: and as you probably know, when you sleep, your everything
Speaker 4: gets very dehydrated, which is why we put the stuff
Speaker 4: in our skin. And it's like, why are we not
Speaker 4: putting stuff in our hair? And that was my AHAs
Speaker 4: I was like, I do this all the time, and
Speaker 4: I know it's helped my hair. So I want to
Speaker 4: create a product that you know, it's pretty enough to
Speaker 4: be on your nightstand, and you know, not doesn't have to.
Speaker 1: Be on your I think it's so admirable that you
Speaker 1: you figure out what you want to need. I think
Speaker 1: this as an entrepreneur, this is a really good message
Speaker 1: to like really think about what works for you, what
Speaker 1: you are passionate about.
Speaker 4: That is like the number one piece of advice I
Speaker 4: give to people that I'm mentoring is like, you can
Speaker 4: go and try, you know, to be opportunistic because you see.
Speaker 3: A white space. Maybe and maybe that'll work.
Speaker 4: But if you come from something like with like a
Speaker 4: sincere love and passion and authenticity of like really following
Speaker 4: your own internal compass, I think that's really that's the
Speaker 4: businesses that work.
Speaker 1: That's it. Before I let you go, Alli Webb, what
Speaker 1: was your last I choose me moment?
Speaker 4: You know?
Speaker 3: I think, and what came up for me was you know.
Speaker 4: I think this has largely come out of, you know,
Speaker 4: the work I've done redefining myself of I'm very quick
Speaker 4: to give my power away as a statement to people too,
Speaker 4: you know, romantic relationships, my kids, my brother people I
Speaker 4: work with. I have this tendency to be like just
Speaker 4: give my power away.
Speaker 1: I don't know how is it like they know better
Speaker 1: than me?
Speaker 3: Or I think it's.
Speaker 4: Like a self abandonment.
Speaker 1: It goes probably back to your childhood.
Speaker 3: Yeah, totally.
Speaker 4: And it's it's you know, like we were saying before,
Speaker 4: it's a practice for me to choose me in a
Speaker 4: lot of scenarios to be like I'm gonna I'm not
Speaker 4: going to get my power away, and I'm also like
Speaker 4: totally anxious attachment and if something isn't going the way
Speaker 4: I wanted to go.
Speaker 3: I want to be like, why let's fix it. Can
Speaker 3: we talk about it?
Speaker 4: You know, I will get like that, and that is
Speaker 4: it's a real spiritual exercise for me to like take
Speaker 4: a step back and be uncomfortable. I think that's the
Speaker 4: that's like my thing right now is like, oh this
Speaker 4: fucking sucks. I hate the way I feel so uncomfortable,
Speaker 4: but I'm not going to do anything about it. And
Speaker 4: to me, that feels like taking my power back and
Speaker 4: choosing myself and not giving myself over to somebody and
Speaker 4: like the you know, the neediness and the like gripping
Speaker 4: and all the things that I are my my default really,
Speaker 4: so it's it's like, you know, taking back my power,
Speaker 4: I think, is how I choose myself.
Speaker 1: A plus, Oh God, thanks that was very meaningful and
Speaker 1: I know it will be inspiring to so many women.
Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you
Speaker 3: That this was so fun,