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Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny garl.

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Speaker 2: Hi.

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Speaker 1: Everyone, welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast is all

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Speaker 1: about the choices we make, and today I'm sitting down

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Speaker 1: with someone who turned a simple idea into a cultural phenomenon.

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Speaker 1: Ali Webb may not have invented the blowout, but she

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Speaker 1: redefined it when she launched Drybar more than fifteen years ago,

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Speaker 1: transforming a one time luxury into a self care ritual

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Speaker 1: for millions of women. Since then, she has expanded into

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Speaker 1: multiple industries, from beauty and wellness to media and now mentorship,

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Speaker 1: guiding the next generation of founders. As always, she is

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Speaker 1: now onto something fresh. It's Messy by Ali Web. True

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Speaker 1: to its name, this brand celebrates the beauty of imperfections

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Speaker 1: and being well messy. In today's conversation, I asked Ali

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Speaker 1: some big questions. Does entrepreneurship take a specific personality? And

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Speaker 1: what roles do therapy and self awareness play? And how

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Speaker 1: she leads her teams and so much more. You guys,

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Speaker 1: Ali brings sharp insights, plenty of honesty, and a reminder

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Speaker 1: that the messiest parts of our stories are the ones

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Speaker 1: that make us the best kind of people. Oh my gosh,

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Speaker 1: This is really exciting for me to have your things. Likewise,

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Speaker 1: having I am such an admirer of you since you

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Speaker 1: started the things you started, always watched you and your

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Speaker 1: success and like thought, I want to be like that,

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Speaker 1: Oh I can do she can do it. I can

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Speaker 1: do it. You know that feeling of and now it's

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Speaker 1: full circle for you. We'll talk about this a little

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Speaker 1: bit later, but you're a mentor to people.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, which is which is kind of wild because.

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Speaker 4: You know, I think you know, the generation you and

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Speaker 4: I grew up in, which was like the be scene

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Speaker 4: and not heard, and you know, women weren't mentors and

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Speaker 4: leaders when we were growing up was just it wasn't

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Speaker 4: really a thing. And it's crazy and amazing now how

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Speaker 4: many like I have so many friends and so many

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Speaker 4: girls I know, you know, some around my age, but

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Speaker 4: a lot definitely a lot younger who are coming up

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Speaker 4: and they're just doing such amazing things. And it's interesting

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Speaker 4: to feel like even what you just said, I'm like me,

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Speaker 4: there is still that part of me that has that like,

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Speaker 4: you know, my brother is my business partner and he's

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Speaker 4: older than me, and he was like you'll get this

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Speaker 4: reference like the Alex p Keaton.

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Speaker 3: You know, I feel like not everybody will get that rightly. Tie.

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Speaker 4: I mean, he was like, you know, could do no wrong,

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Speaker 4: was so smart, entrepreneurial, and I was like, you know,

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Speaker 4: it's funny. My my father hates it when I say

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Speaker 4: this publicly because he's like, we never said that, but

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Speaker 4: it was like we hope she marries well you know,

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Speaker 4: I mean, but I think that was our generation and

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Speaker 4: so to kind of you know, I feel like it's

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Speaker 4: funny how even like I'm I'm cautious with my words

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Speaker 4: and that I'm want to be like break the mold

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Speaker 4: of because when we started Drybar, you know, I was

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Speaker 4: thirty five, there really weren't like other I don't know

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Speaker 4: when like Sarah Blakey started spanks, but I just didn't

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Speaker 4: have any access, you know, anybody I think of like

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Speaker 4: Donna Karen or like you know, women who were kind

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Speaker 4: of at the helms of companies just because her name

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Speaker 4: was and she was designer, but there just wasn't.

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Speaker 1: Diane von Furstenberg was.

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Speaker 4: Who actually I met years ago and she ended up

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Speaker 4: investing in Drybar. But you just didn't have access to

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Speaker 4: any of those women and they weren't out and you know,

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Speaker 4: the forefront, and it was really interesting when we started

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Speaker 4: Drybar and I, you know, and it just like exploded

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Speaker 4: and I found myself in these crazy situations and being

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Speaker 4: interviewed and like being on TV.

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Speaker 3: And it was just like, what like this little me

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Speaker 3: who didn't like go to college.

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Speaker 1: And about you though, because like for our listeners, let's

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Speaker 1: kind of rewind for a second. Sorry, so you this

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Speaker 1: just rebeats so because I'm loving what you're talking about.

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Speaker 1: But you did not You graduated from high school? Yes,

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Speaker 1: and you went straight into fairly course, Where did you

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Speaker 1: go to high school?

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Speaker 4: I grew up in Buceruto in Florida, born in New York,

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Speaker 4: raised in Boca, and went to Spanish River High. And

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Speaker 4: it's you know, it was like the quintessential football like

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Speaker 4: all American grade high school. I just I was more

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Speaker 4: interested in like the social aspectors.

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Speaker 3: Probably I loved nine O two and zero.

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Speaker 1: Like I was like that you got together with your friends.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it was just like.

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Speaker 4: It was totally social for me. But I, you know,

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Speaker 4: I loved the it was fun. And then I was like,

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Speaker 4: you know, I was like a C student at best.

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Speaker 4: And when when all my friends were going to college,

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Speaker 4: I didn't even take the SATs.

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Speaker 3: I was like, I just was. I was like in

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Speaker 3: my own little world and was like, oh shit, what

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Speaker 3: am I going to do now?

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Speaker 4: And and I did like a semester at a community

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Speaker 4: college at Florida State because that's where my brother was,

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Speaker 4: and and that didn't work. And then I I was like,

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Speaker 4: why am I didn't? I didn't go What am I

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Speaker 4: going to go to class for? I don't There's nothing

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Speaker 4: I want to learn about here.

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Speaker 3: It was so weird.

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Speaker 4: And then I moved to New York City and I

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Speaker 4: started working in fashion, and my brother and I opened

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Speaker 4: a couple We were both worked for Nicole Miller and

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Speaker 4: I worked and you probably remember there was a so

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Speaker 4: there was a Nicole Miller's shop in Soho and I

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Speaker 4: worked there as like an assistant manager, and.

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Speaker 1: My daughter worked for her as an intern. Isn't that crazy?

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Speaker 3: Really? Like recently or in New.

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Speaker 1: York a couple of years ago?

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Speaker 3: How funny?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because she's still a round Oh yeah.

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Speaker 4: But when I worked for her, she was like she

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Speaker 4: was one of the big fashion designers. So it was

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Speaker 4: a really exciting time. And I worked at her so

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Speaker 4: Ho store, which was amazing because so so cool back then.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like thirty years.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't packed to the it was like very like

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Speaker 1: I remember, I feel like I'm in Disneyland when I

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Speaker 1: go there.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like.

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Speaker 4: Very kind of square feeling now. And like I remember,

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Speaker 4: like Brad Pitt walked by one day and I like,

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Speaker 4: I was like, I gotta go, you guys, like I

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Speaker 4: followed him for three bucks, like I was like twenty one.

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, I'd follow him too.

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Speaker 1: I mean my husband would follow him.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean wouldn't.

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Speaker 4: He walked into like a furniture store and I was like,

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Speaker 4: I guess I'm going furniture. I mean it was it's

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Speaker 4: just like it was just it was so much cooler

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Speaker 4: back then.

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Speaker 1: I think, I wonder if you knew you were followed.

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Speaker 3: I don't. I stay very far by. I like, it's

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Speaker 3: so funy.

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Speaker 4: I haven't thought about that in years when I was like, yeah,

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Speaker 4: I followed Brad Pitt one time. But anyways, So then

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Speaker 4: Michael and I and my brother moved back to South

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Speaker 4: Florida and opened up a few Nicole Miller boutiques and

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Speaker 4: so at the age of like nineteen, I was managing

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Speaker 4: a retail store. You know, it was a license Nicole

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Speaker 4: Miller's store in Bokertone and then we opened a second

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Speaker 4: one in Miami and that drive is horrendous if you

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Speaker 4: know that, you know the area.

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Speaker 3: And I was very unhappy and I was like what

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Speaker 3: am I doing?

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Speaker 4: And my brother and I were fighting a lot, and

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Speaker 4: I was like, you know, just lost, you know, and

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Speaker 4: didn't know what I wanted to do with my life.

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Speaker 3: And but you were.

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Speaker 1: Twenty, but I was twenty.

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Speaker 4: But it seemed like everybody else was on this path

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Speaker 4: of like in college, I knew what they wanted to do,

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Speaker 4: and I was like, how do you guys know?

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Speaker 3: You know, like I don't know.

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Speaker 4: And I was very lost and a lot of like

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Speaker 4: you know, tough conversations with my mom of like what

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Speaker 4: am I going to do? And I didn't really feel

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Speaker 4: like I had any skill and I was like, oh shit,

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Speaker 4: you know, and then things got very contentious with me

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Speaker 4: and my brother because it just wasn't the right thing

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Speaker 4: for either of us. And I remember like a very

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Speaker 4: hard to heart conversation with my brother, who's always been

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Speaker 4: like my best friend, and I said, I think I

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Speaker 4: I want to go to beauty school, like hair is

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Speaker 4: like the only thing that I that I love.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 4: And I was also like to backtrack, like I was

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Speaker 4: that girl in high school blow drying her hair.

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Speaker 1: You had good hair.

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Speaker 3: I had really really hair with really good hair, right.

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Speaker 4: I didn't think so I feel like now I appreciate it,

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Speaker 4: but back then I was like, you know, trying to

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Speaker 4: get it straight. I would like blow it out at

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Speaker 4: night and then sleep on it because I was like,

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Speaker 4: if I sleep on it, maybe it'll get less frizzy,

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Speaker 4: which didn't work.

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Speaker 3: And then I when I was in high.

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Speaker 4: School, I had a job as a receptionist at a

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Speaker 4: hair salon at the town Center mall, and the stilast

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Speaker 4: would blow out my hair for free because it was

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Speaker 4: just and I was like mesmerized watching them do it.

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Speaker 3: I was like, I was just so fascinated by it.

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Speaker 4: But I never paid attention to that, and I think

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Speaker 4: my parents kind of looked their nose down on you

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Speaker 4: want to be a hairstylist. And my parents were entrepreneurs

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Speaker 4: and had their own business, which was like the Shmata

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Speaker 4: you know in South Florida, a little old lady clothing store,

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Speaker 4: and that's what they called it.

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Speaker 3: It was like the Shmata business. You know, it's a

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Speaker 3: very like New.

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Speaker 4: York term and next to their shops for little hair salons, like.

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Speaker 3: Little Old Lady.

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Speaker 4: And I think they just had this idea in their mind,

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Speaker 4: and I was like, no, I want to move to

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Speaker 4: New York and you editorial and fashion shows and like

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Speaker 4: this is what magazines were still a thing. And and

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Speaker 4: I think that that slowly like started to come into

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Speaker 4: light for me, that this is what I want to do.

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Speaker 4: And so I went to beauty school when I was

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Speaker 4: like nineteen or twenty, and that's that's really how it all.

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Speaker 1: And then cut to twenty ten. You had an idea,

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Speaker 1: and as I understand it, you went to your brother. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and you were married at the time.

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Speaker 4: Yes, So what happened was, I was I had my

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Speaker 4: boys who are now eighteen and twenty almost twenty one.

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Speaker 3: How old are your kids?

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Speaker 1: Twenty eight, twenty two and nineteen?

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Speaker 4: I had that happen right anyways, my but I you know,

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Speaker 4: I was always like I just wanted babies so badly

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Speaker 4: asraally as I can remember. And so my first husband

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Speaker 4: and I he was a creative and worked in advertising,

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Speaker 4: and so we got, you know, married and had kids

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Speaker 4: very very young, very quickly, and we were living in

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Speaker 4: LA and I was, you know, a stay at home

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Speaker 4: mom and my boys were probably two and four when

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Speaker 4: I just started, and I was stay at home mom,

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Speaker 4: and I felt so like lucky that I was able

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Speaker 4: to do that and blessed that I had that opportunity

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Speaker 4: and I loved it. But then I just got this

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Speaker 4: like itch to do something for myself, and I felt

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Speaker 4: I just I was just not like feeling fulfilled. I

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Speaker 4: love being with my kids, but I wanted something for myself.

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Speaker 4: I felt like I wasn't using my brain as much

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Speaker 4: as I wanted to or something.

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Speaker 1: And you had a calling.

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Speaker 3: I had a calling, and so I was like what

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Speaker 3: can I do? You know?

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Speaker 4: And I did start some other things and was like

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Speaker 4: trying to work for other people, and I was like

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Speaker 4: this is not just doesn't feel right. And then I

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Speaker 4: decided to start a mobile blowout business, which was called

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Speaker 4: straight at Home Cute because it was like hair was

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Speaker 4: just the only thing that I really knew and I

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Speaker 4: was good at it. So, you know, like literally sitting

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Speaker 4: in my living room with my best friend with our

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Speaker 4: babies crawling around, I was like, maybe I should start

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Speaker 4: a mobile blowout business and only charge like make it

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Speaker 4: cheap enough so women will actually call me, because as

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Speaker 4: you know, like getting a blowout, you know, in a

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Speaker 4: salon or certainly someone coming to your house.

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Speaker 3: Is very expensive.

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Speaker 1: How much did you charge for a blowout?

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Speaker 3: Forty bucks? Two twenties.

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Speaker 4: I was like, that's easy for people, and so I

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Speaker 4: posted on you might remember peachhead Do you remember that?

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Speaker 3: Yahu Okay?

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Speaker 2: So Yahoo had I was aol oh okay, but Yahoo

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Speaker 2: had like a group that was called Peachheads and it

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Speaker 2: was like five thousand moms in LA. And so I

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Speaker 2: started posting on that and I'm like, I'm a stay

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Speaker 2: home mom, I'm a longtime hairstylist. What would you think

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Speaker 2: if I like came over and, you know, blew out

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Speaker 2: your hair while your baby was sleeping? And I got

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Speaker 2: inundated with calls.

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Speaker 4: Cam made me like a one page website called straight

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Speaker 4: at Home and it was like, you know, literally where

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Speaker 4: were like two twenties. Feels easy and I bet people

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Speaker 4: will call me because it's cheap and I'm good, you know,

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Speaker 4: And so that's how it started, and I was getting called.

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Speaker 4: I was like that whole thing was so wild to

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Speaker 4: me because i was like driving to the Palisades. I

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Speaker 4: lived in Santa Monica at the time, in like a

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Speaker 4: one bedroom apartment, and I was driving to the Palisades

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Speaker 4: to these like houses I never even imagined, Like I

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Speaker 4: was like, people.

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Speaker 3: Live like this, like holy shit.

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Speaker 4: And I think that that was actually really good for

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Speaker 4: me because it was so aspirational to me. I was

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Speaker 4: like I could have a house like this one day,

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Speaker 4: you know, and this was this was you know, fifteen

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Speaker 4: years ago, and and really what happened was like these

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Speaker 4: I just really connected with so many of these women,

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Speaker 4: I mean, like you name it.

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Speaker 3: It was like, you know, it was very.

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Speaker 4: Hollywood like producers and actresses and people that I had

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Speaker 4: never had any exposure to, and they loved me and

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Speaker 4: they would recommend me to other friends.

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Speaker 3: And that's how my little business growing. And everybody, I

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Speaker 3: mean some people.

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Speaker 4: Would give me fifty bucks sometimes, but most people just

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Speaker 4: gave me two twenties exactly how I thought it.

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Speaker 3: But I loved it. I loved every second of it because.

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Speaker 4: It got me out of the house, like it got

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Speaker 4: me to do something I loved. And like I was

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Speaker 4: connecting with these right unknownst to me that that was coming.

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Speaker 4: But these really like smart, powerful, like heavy hitter women.

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Speaker 3: So that whole thing was wild.

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Speaker 4: My kind of AHA was like I'm going to create

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Speaker 4: a place where it just blowouts. There's no pressure to

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Speaker 4: get a caught in color. There's no bait and switch,

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Speaker 4: like you're not going to get charged more if you

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Speaker 4: have long hair, you're gonna get charge less of your show.

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Speaker 3: It was like, none of that bullshit.

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Speaker 4: And it's just going to be a very like you know,

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Speaker 4: like a really great experience and it's going to fit

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Speaker 4: in between the fantastic SAMs of the world and like

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Speaker 4: a high end salon and that didn't exist, you.

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Speaker 1: Know, and that was found that white space, found.

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Speaker 4: Wit and I was just it was like most businesses,

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Speaker 4: it was like you know, personal, like what do I

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Speaker 4: what do I wish to day? Yeah, personal necessity, And

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Speaker 4: that was really what I because I as a kid,

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Speaker 4: a curly hair girl growing up in South Florida, Like

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Speaker 4: we were saying, who you know, it's funny now now

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Speaker 4: I love my hair like this, but I didn't know

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Speaker 4: how to style it back then, and it was just

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Speaker 4: curly and frizzy and big.

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Speaker 3: And I didn't like it.

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Speaker 4: And so I spent my life and you know, I

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Speaker 4: grew up in the generation of like Chrissy Brinkley and

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Speaker 4: Cyndy Crawford and that like big, voluptuous, smooth hair, and

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Speaker 4: I was like, I want that hair, and.

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Speaker 3: I can't figure out how to fucking get it.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, and so I you know, and I

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Speaker 4: think that so for me, had drybar been around when

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Speaker 4: I was a kid, it would have been a dream,

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Speaker 4: especially at an affordable price point.

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Speaker 3: And so that's what I, you know.

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Speaker 4: Started to create and really just had no truly no idea,

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Speaker 4: Like there.

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Speaker 1: Was no like, you didn't have any kind of business training,

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Speaker 1: you didn't go to college.

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Speaker 3: To my parents ares that's all I had.

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Speaker 1: You had, Okay, So it was kind of and my

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Speaker 1: brother was like the Alex, Yeah he knows some things.

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Speaker 1: They say, don't become an entrepreneur unless it's the only

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Speaker 1: thing you can do.

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Speaker 3: Really, who says that.

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Speaker 1: People say that, well, because it's so invartved, it's so hard,

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Speaker 1: there's no work life balance, it's not when you are

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Speaker 1: starting your own company.

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Speaker 4: I think you have to be cut from a certain

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Speaker 4: cloth to be an entrepreneur. I don't know that I

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Speaker 4: agree with that. I think that there's certainly not everybody's

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Speaker 4: cut out for it, right, And I think you have

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Speaker 4: to have a very high tolerance for risk, and you

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Speaker 4: have to be like willing to bet it all and

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Speaker 4: lose it all. And I remember when we were opening Drybar,

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Speaker 4: and you know, I didn't really have any money. We

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Speaker 4: put in our like four oh one K and our

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Speaker 4: life savings, which was like not very much money. I

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Speaker 4: know it was a big risk, but like I I've

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Speaker 4: always felt like I always remember so well thinking if

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Speaker 4: this doesn't work, like we're not going to die, I

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Speaker 4: can do something something else.

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Speaker 3: I felt.

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Speaker 4: I just always felt really capable that I was pretty

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Speaker 4: smart and like savvy. That's something my parents always said

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Speaker 4: to me. They were like, you may not be book smart,

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Speaker 4: but you're very street smart. I heard that growing up,

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Speaker 4: and I and and maybe it was a backhanded compliment,

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Speaker 4: but I always took it as.

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Speaker 1: Like I heard the same thing, yeah, and I loved it, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: because I don't really want to be book smart.

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Speaker 3: I love people who.

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Speaker 1: Are BookSmart right me too. They're like the most fast.

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Speaker 3: I wish I knew a lot more about like geography.

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Speaker 1: I'm very jalous history or history all that shit, all

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Speaker 1: the things. Yeah, so I feel like that for me

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Speaker 1: was like a confidence, like a quiet confidence that I

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Speaker 1: always had that I would always land on my feet.

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Speaker 3: And I really think that's carried me.

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Speaker 4: And that was what I thought, you know, when we

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Speaker 4: were when we were starting this business.

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Speaker 3: And so you know, if you.

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Speaker 4: Don't have that, I think it's impossible to be an

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Speaker 4: entrepreneur because you just get consumed with worry and you're

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Speaker 4: just you're you kind of end up in this like

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Speaker 4: analysis paralysis, like frozen.

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Speaker 3: I'm such a decisive person.

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Speaker 4: I might make the wrong decision, but I will make

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Speaker 4: it quickly and I and I just.

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Speaker 1: Love that about you what I.

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Speaker 3: And it's funny.

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Speaker 4: We were on a we were on a call with

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Speaker 4: my team for MESSI, which I know we haven't introduced

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Speaker 4: that yet but.

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Speaker 1: Okay, but.

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Speaker 4: And it's funny when you hear other people talk about

379
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Speaker 4: you because you're like, oh, that's interesting, at least that

380
00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:23,280
Speaker 4: is for me. And we were on a call to

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Speaker 4: somebody was asking me how I came up with the

382
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Speaker 4: fragrance for MESSI and it was so iconic with drybar

383
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Speaker 4: and how do you do that? And I'm like, uh,

384
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Speaker 4: I don't know, I just I just know what I

385
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:36,520
Speaker 4: like and someone on my team is like, you will

386
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Speaker 4: be in a meeting with Ali and you will put

387
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Speaker 4: things in front of her and she'll say three and

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Speaker 4: she'll just know. And you're like, wait, what, Like that's it,

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Speaker 4: you know, And I'm like, I just and I have

390
00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:48,400
Speaker 4: the supermar Yeah, I have very strong instincts. I really

391
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Speaker 4: have very and I really trust my instincts.

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Speaker 3: I love that, and I'm just.

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Speaker 4: I'm not afraid didn't make a decision, even if it's

394
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Speaker 4: the wrong decision, which a lot of times it is,

395
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Speaker 4: but I'm I just i can't. It's such a Pepeeva

396
00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:02,400
Speaker 4: mind when people and you know, when like you're raising

397
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Speaker 4: your kids and like they're they're little and they're still

398
00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:06,359
Speaker 4: figuring out who they are, so you get it. But

399
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Speaker 4: I remember like being in stores with my kids and

400
00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:10,840
Speaker 4: trying to get them to make a fucking decision and

401
00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:11,200
Speaker 4: I'm like.

402
00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:13,359
Speaker 1: Just seray, you want which do you want?

403
00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:13,600
Speaker 3: You know?

404
00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:15,919
Speaker 4: And they and they don't because it's just been But

405
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Speaker 4: I'm just I'm always like.

406
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Speaker 3: I feel like regret it.

407
00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:22,040
Speaker 1: But I've entered this weird phase where I might be

408
00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:25,040
Speaker 1: like what you're saying is really inspiring to me right

409
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Speaker 1: now because I might be in like a what if

410
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Speaker 1: I make the wrong decision.

411
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Speaker 3: I think a lot of people feel.

412
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Speaker 1: Mindset instead of because I too have very strong instincts,

413
00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:36,840
Speaker 1: but I've started to second guess them, I think sometimes

414
00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:38,400
Speaker 1: and allow that to kind of like and then I'll

415
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Speaker 1: just be in this stalemate of not deciding something and

416
00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:44,280
Speaker 1: I have I'm the one that has to decide things.

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Speaker 4: Right, It's a lot of pressure, a lot of pressure, right,

418
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Speaker 4: it is, And and I think that there is certainly.

419
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Speaker 4: I mean over the years, having you know, grown dry

420
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Speaker 4: bar and and made a lot of mistakes and learned

421
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Speaker 4: a lot and I and I find myself now in

422
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Speaker 4: this phase of my life with this new company.

423
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Speaker 3: I'm much more.

424
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Speaker 4: Open to feedback and much more open to others' opinions. Before,

425
00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:10,560
Speaker 4: you know, I used to be very very reactive, which

426
00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:12,800
Speaker 4: I don't think is it's and that's quite different than

427
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Speaker 4: than decisive. But I think I take a minute more

428
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Speaker 4: to consider more than I used to consider and then

429
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Speaker 4: make a decision.

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Speaker 1: I was just talking about this yesterday with someone really

431
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Speaker 1: that it's you. It's it's something you've reached with age

432
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Speaker 1: where you're able to step back for a second. Yeah,

433
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Speaker 1: And like you say, maybe collaborate, maybe because other people's opinions,

434
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Speaker 1: or maybe just take a beat to make sure that

435
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Speaker 1: you're making the right decision.

436
00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:38,199
Speaker 4: Well, And it is a it's a practice, yeah, you know,

437
00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:41,960
Speaker 4: it's a constant practice to be like, Okay, it's.

438
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Speaker 1: Not easy to see.

439
00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:44,800
Speaker 4: It's not easy though, no, But and I think that

440
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Speaker 4: my kids really have been the greatest teacher for me

441
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Speaker 4: in that realm.

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Speaker 3: You know.

443
00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:52,480
Speaker 4: I mean, I've you know, especially with the reactive stuff.

444
00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:57,399
Speaker 4: Like my kids after my second divorce were like, I

445
00:18:57,440 --> 00:19:00,680
Speaker 4: remember said they like we were in a variant conversation

446
00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:02,680
Speaker 4: and they were like, we don't always know what version

447
00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:05,760
Speaker 4: of you we're going to get, which is like a ouch.

448
00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:11,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I remember it just stung so badly that

449
00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:14,160
Speaker 3: I was like, I got it. I gotta what am

450
00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:14,560
Speaker 3: I doing?

451
00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:17,600
Speaker 1: It's so great how the kids are our teachers.

452
00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:20,640
Speaker 3: Such amazing teachers. And they were like it was just honest.

453
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:22,680
Speaker 4: I don't think they realized the impact it was something

454
00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:24,359
Speaker 4: to have on me, but I knew in that moment

455
00:19:24,359 --> 00:19:27,280
Speaker 4: it is. Because sometimes I'm a really great mom and

456
00:19:27,359 --> 00:19:29,879
Speaker 4: sometimes I lose my shit, I lose my temper and

457
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:32,720
Speaker 4: they say my eyes turned red. Not anymore, you know,

458
00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:36,720
Speaker 4: but I remember like that feeling of like this is

459
00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:38,720
Speaker 4: not like the legacy I want to leave with my kids,

460
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:40,119
Speaker 4: and this is not how I want my kids to

461
00:19:40,119 --> 00:19:40,439
Speaker 4: see me.

462
00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:42,159
Speaker 3: And I have got to get my shit together.

463
00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:44,879
Speaker 4: And I did, and they would tell you today that

464
00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:46,720
Speaker 4: I don't show up like that anymore.

465
00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:51,000
Speaker 1: That's beautiful. I have a very similar feeling like that

466
00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:53,680
Speaker 1: has happened to me too. I remember my oldest daughter,

467
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:57,160
Speaker 1: after my first doors maybe it was the second doorce,

468
00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:59,560
Speaker 1: I can't remember that kind of lean to get track,

469
00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:03,040
Speaker 1: she bought me a little book. I think I still

470
00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:05,440
Speaker 1: have it on my coffee table. So shit happens. Get

471
00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:09,920
Speaker 1: over it. Because I was like dragging around anger and

472
00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:11,680
Speaker 1: resentment and bitterness.

473
00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:14,800
Speaker 4: I saw this quote the other day that really stuck

474
00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:18,920
Speaker 4: with me that was like I'm gonna butcher it. But

475
00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:22,320
Speaker 4: it was like you don't you get to decide? It

476
00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:24,200
Speaker 4: was like a therapist talking to someone like you get

477
00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:27,760
Speaker 4: to decide when you feel better. And because because she

478
00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:29,600
Speaker 4: was like, I'm just like I can't get over this.

479
00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:31,960
Speaker 4: I'm so I'm so sad, I'm so heartbroken over and

480
00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:35,040
Speaker 4: you know, it's like, well when and she says, well,

481
00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:36,520
Speaker 4: when should I get over it, and the therapist says,

482
00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:39,000
Speaker 4: how about Thursday, you know, and I was like, it's

483
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:39,600
Speaker 4: so brilliant.

484
00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:42,040
Speaker 3: It's like and I really believe that, you know.

485
00:20:42,119 --> 00:20:44,879
Speaker 4: I mean for me going through my second divorce, my

486
00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:49,480
Speaker 4: was horrific for me and just heartbreaking on the floor,

487
00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:54,000
Speaker 4: felt like I was going to die, terrible, and I

488
00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:57,840
Speaker 4: remember like having a like a moment of clarity and

489
00:20:57,920 --> 00:21:01,000
Speaker 4: being like, I I'm not going to choose this anymore.

490
00:21:01,119 --> 00:21:02,600
Speaker 4: I don't want to be this perp. I don't want

491
00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:06,399
Speaker 4: to be this sad, bitter, bitter, angry person.

492
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:07,719
Speaker 3: I'm fuck this.

493
00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:10,240
Speaker 4: I'm like I'm gonna And I literally remember like the

494
00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:12,720
Speaker 4: visual of like I'm going to catapult myself out of

495
00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:15,720
Speaker 4: this and just just pick.

496
00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:17,960
Speaker 3: Myself up and start moving on with my life. And

497
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:18,280
Speaker 3: I did.

498
00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:21,240
Speaker 1: It's always for me, it always goes back to something

499
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:22,640
Speaker 1: I learned in some therapy.

500
00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:24,040
Speaker 4: Uh.

501
00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:27,760
Speaker 1: It's it's the decision is either it's vanilla or chocolate.

502
00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:30,560
Speaker 1: Like if you ask somebody what kind of ice cream

503
00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:33,080
Speaker 1: is your favorite? Vanilla or chocolate, you're like vanilla, Like

504
00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:36,200
Speaker 1: you know immediately right, And that's how why I can't

505
00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:39,120
Speaker 1: feeling that with every everything. So I think for me too,

506
00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:46,720
Speaker 1: after the divorces. It was it was like flip the switch, right,

507
00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:49,959
Speaker 1: Like you've done it enough of being sad and crying

508
00:21:50,040 --> 00:21:50,880
Speaker 1: and this, and there.

509
00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:52,240
Speaker 3: Is a time and a place and let it.

510
00:21:53,119 --> 00:21:55,199
Speaker 4: Like I really believe in that, and I think that

511
00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:58,439
Speaker 4: there's a lot of important work around grief and acknowledging that.

512
00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:01,240
Speaker 4: But then at some point you just you do make

513
00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:01,880
Speaker 4: that decision.

514
00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:03,280
Speaker 3: I love the vanilla or chocolate.

515
00:22:03,359 --> 00:22:06,680
Speaker 4: It's like it's you get one shot, Like how much

516
00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:08,400
Speaker 4: more time are you going to give to this?

517
00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:08,880
Speaker 3: Yeah?

518
00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:11,880
Speaker 1: You know, and it changes everything when you're like I'm

519
00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:12,399
Speaker 1: done with that.

520
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:14,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm ready for really powerful.

521
00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:16,719
Speaker 1: It really is, but it's so hard to get there

522
00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:17,359
Speaker 1: when you're in it.

523
00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:19,640
Speaker 4: I know, I know, and I was in it, and

524
00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:21,760
Speaker 4: you know, I was talking to somebody about a friend

525
00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:24,520
Speaker 4: who's going through something hard and she was like kind

526
00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:26,920
Speaker 4: of reminded me. She's like, you remember when you were there, right.

527
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:28,760
Speaker 4: I was like, She's like, I think you forget how

528
00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:29,160
Speaker 4: this feels.

529
00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:31,640
Speaker 3: And I was like, oh no, I don't forget how

530
00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:32,080
Speaker 3: that feels.

531
00:22:32,359 --> 00:22:35,359
Speaker 4: That was that was like seared into me, that pain,

532
00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:37,480
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, and I will never forget it.

533
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:38,640
Speaker 3: I don't feel it anymore.

534
00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:41,680
Speaker 4: I can't connect to it anymore, but I remember it,

535
00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:44,320
Speaker 4: you know. But I also remember being making the active

536
00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:46,880
Speaker 4: decision like I gotta get on with it and got

537
00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:48,960
Speaker 4: to go, like I don't have endless time.

538
00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:50,080
Speaker 3: I have to get on with it.

539
00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:53,520
Speaker 1: Do you feel like you're better off from all those

540
00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:56,520
Speaker 1: things that felt like the worst things ever to happen

541
00:22:56,560 --> 00:22:56,760
Speaker 1: to you?

542
00:22:56,960 --> 00:23:00,879
Speaker 4: And that's that's that's the like holy rail right, the

543
00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:05,160
Speaker 4: grace of Yes, I'm so much. I feel like I'm

544
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:07,720
Speaker 4: happier in my life now than maybe i've ever been.

545
00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:11,800
Speaker 1: When who when you were just mopping the floor with

546
00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:13,040
Speaker 1: your with your.

547
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:14,720
Speaker 3: Body and your body.

548
00:23:14,920 --> 00:23:18,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I remember so distinctly feeling like I'm never

549
00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:20,320
Speaker 4: going to get over this. I'm never going to be okay,

550
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:22,040
Speaker 4: I'm never gonna be happy again.

551
00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:23,600
Speaker 3: She wasn't true.

552
00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:27,000
Speaker 4: It's never true. It's a lie that we tell ourselves,

553
00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:27,359
Speaker 4: you know.

554
00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:37,480
Speaker 1: So your first divorce you were with your business partner, Yes,

555
00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:40,480
Speaker 1: was that father of my children? Not to be funny,

556
00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:43,399
Speaker 1: it was that messy. I mean, I'm sure it was.

557
00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:47,399
Speaker 4: The funds are endless, you know, it was. It was

558
00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:51,360
Speaker 4: messy a little you know, in you know, I mean,

559
00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:53,280
Speaker 4: I feel like probably both of us have seen a

560
00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:56,240
Speaker 4: lot of our friends go through divorces that are much

561
00:23:56,320 --> 00:23:59,280
Speaker 4: messier and horrific. I've seen a lot of people go

562
00:23:59,359 --> 00:24:03,119
Speaker 4: through divorces I wouldn't wish upon anybody. None of mine

563
00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:06,640
Speaker 4: were like that. Mine were all really and with.

564
00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:09,520
Speaker 3: Both of them. I mean, my first divorce from cam

565
00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:14,000
Speaker 3: my kid's dad. He's an amazing man. He's you know,

566
00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:18,760
Speaker 3: we probably shouldn't have gotten married so young. Yeah, you know,

567
00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:20,480
Speaker 3: we were like and now.

568
00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:22,000
Speaker 4: It's like, especially with you, you said you have a

569
00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:24,080
Speaker 4: twenty eight year old. Yeah, I was married when I

570
00:24:24,119 --> 00:24:26,960
Speaker 4: was twenty seven, and I don't know if your twenty

571
00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:28,680
Speaker 4: eight year old is married yet.

572
00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:28,879
Speaker 1: No.

573
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:31,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, but you know, it's funny looking back because you

574
00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:34,280
Speaker 4: think you're so you feel so old then, but it's

575
00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:36,320
Speaker 4: like you're like, oh God, don't marry the person that

576
00:24:36,359 --> 00:24:38,800
Speaker 4: you should you know when you were That's how I feel,

577
00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:40,520
Speaker 4: and not to say that it doesn't it can't work,

578
00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:42,080
Speaker 4: and I know to be skeptical.

579
00:24:42,119 --> 00:24:44,560
Speaker 1: I mean, it's weird because I have three daughters and

580
00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:47,200
Speaker 1: they all think that who they're with, well except one

581
00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:50,560
Speaker 1: of them. They all think like, I know, we're going

582
00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:52,760
Speaker 1: to be together forever, and I'm like, I hope so

583
00:24:53,119 --> 00:24:55,520
Speaker 1: for you, I hope that for you, Yeah, I want

584
00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:59,200
Speaker 1: that ease of life for you, like but it's unlikely,

585
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:02,840
Speaker 1: but also maybe you need to go experience right something.

586
00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:04,800
Speaker 4: That's the thing is like I do think that, like

587
00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:09,320
Speaker 4: I wouldn't change anything. I mean, I can get into my.

588
00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:12,560
Speaker 3: Own like pity story of like oh I've been married twice.

589
00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:17,880
Speaker 4: And like what of like loser men can I can

590
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,400
Speaker 4: let that narrative in a little. But then I've been

591
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:22,160
Speaker 4: on the flip side, like what I just said two

592
00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:24,560
Speaker 4: minutes ago, I'm the happiest I've ever been. So everything

593
00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:27,040
Speaker 4: I've done in my life, I feel like is where

594
00:25:27,119 --> 00:25:28,879
Speaker 4: this is just where I'm supposed to be. And that's

595
00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:31,679
Speaker 4: you know, and you're asking about my first divorce, but

596
00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:33,480
Speaker 4: the second divorce taught me.

597
00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:38,760
Speaker 3: World about myself. The first divorce was like I was,

598
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:41,640
Speaker 3: I needed to get out. I wasn't happy. He wasn't

599
00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:43,800
Speaker 3: happy either. I just had to be the one to

600
00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:47,440
Speaker 3: really call it and it was it.

601
00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:49,520
Speaker 4: Was a little messy in the bena. My son did

602
00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:51,080
Speaker 4: go into rehab and it was like.

603
00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:52,600
Speaker 3: It wasn't it wasn't smooth sale like.

604
00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:56,119
Speaker 4: By any means. He's great now but good but and

605
00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:58,640
Speaker 4: I don't even know. I wouldn't say it was the divorce.

606
00:25:58,720 --> 00:25:59,920
Speaker 4: It was just a confidence.

607
00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:01,479
Speaker 1: You were like, oh, it's the divorce.

608
00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:04,000
Speaker 3: Yeah course. I felt very shameful about it.

609
00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:05,640
Speaker 4: I didn't want to talk about it because I felt

610
00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:09,920
Speaker 4: like it hears this like successful entrepreneurs, like touting dry

611
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:11,720
Speaker 4: bar and all this stuff, and then she's got this kid,

612
00:26:12,119 --> 00:26:14,119
Speaker 4: and I felt like, oh, I must be a failure

613
00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:17,199
Speaker 4: of a mom. I don't feel that at that at

614
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:19,399
Speaker 4: all anymore. I think, you know, our children are on

615
00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:22,560
Speaker 4: their own paths and there's not actually a whole lot

616
00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:25,159
Speaker 4: we can do if you really think about it, you know.

617
00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:29,280
Speaker 4: And I think my son was going to go through

618
00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:32,960
Speaker 4: what he went through at some point, regardless of what

619
00:26:33,040 --> 00:26:35,960
Speaker 4: I was having hit his dad and I and actually,

620
00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:39,160
Speaker 4: in retrospect, I feel like, I know, it's it sounds

621
00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:40,960
Speaker 4: crazy and shocking. And he went into rehab when he

622
00:26:41,040 --> 00:26:42,840
Speaker 4: was thirteen, which is a lot.

623
00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:43,919
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a lot.

624
00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:48,320
Speaker 4: But I also like I had jurisdiction over him, you know,

625
00:26:48,359 --> 00:26:51,480
Speaker 4: because once they're eighteen, you know. I mean, just a

626
00:26:51,560 --> 00:26:54,000
Speaker 4: quick side story. I was my brother and I had

627
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:56,600
Speaker 4: our podcast years ago, Raising the Bar, and we were

628
00:26:56,600 --> 00:27:00,560
Speaker 4: doing interviewing entrepreneurs all the time, and when when when

629
00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:02,960
Speaker 4: the ship was going down with the divorce and my

630
00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:05,159
Speaker 4: son was really spiraling and by the way, he was

631
00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:09,480
Speaker 4: like he was smoking like marijuana at like an excessive rate,

632
00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:11,359
Speaker 4: and that was really and it was a real It

633
00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:13,399
Speaker 4: was really more of an emotional thing than anything. And

634
00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:17,840
Speaker 4: he was using the the you know, weed to self

635
00:27:18,040 --> 00:27:20,160
Speaker 4: medicaid and which I didn't know any of that back then.

636
00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:26,680
Speaker 4: But anyways, we were doing this podcast Grant and by

637
00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:29,400
Speaker 4: the way, it's in my book, I have his permission

638
00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:30,960
Speaker 4: to speak about it, which I just feel like to

639
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:33,119
Speaker 4: clarify because it's history. I wouldn't tell it if if

640
00:27:33,119 --> 00:27:36,679
Speaker 4: he wasn't okay with it. But you know, he we

641
00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:38,840
Speaker 4: were doing this podcast and I was I was actually

642
00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:41,080
Speaker 4: gonna bail. I was like, you do the interview, Mike.

643
00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:44,800
Speaker 4: I just emotionally just can't do it today. And he

644
00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:46,960
Speaker 4: and he was like, just please come, please come, And

645
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:48,840
Speaker 4: then I was like fine. I was like, You're gonna

646
00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:50,720
Speaker 4: have to carry it though, because I'm just in no state.

647
00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:52,840
Speaker 4: So we get to the I get to the studio

648
00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:55,960
Speaker 4: and the girl we were interviewing, which I can't believe

649
00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:58,320
Speaker 4: I can't remember her name and it bothers me because

650
00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:01,560
Speaker 4: she was it was so import in what a gift

651
00:28:01,600 --> 00:28:04,080
Speaker 4: and angel she was to me. That day, I came

652
00:28:04,119 --> 00:28:06,679
Speaker 4: in really like down, and I didn't know what to

653
00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:08,560
Speaker 4: do about Grant. And Cam and I were in this

654
00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:11,960
Speaker 4: like are we going to send him to rehab at thirteen?

655
00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:15,760
Speaker 4: Like that's crazy? Like we're what, like I could we

656
00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:18,600
Speaker 4: couldn't pull the trigger? Yeah, And I was really we

657
00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:21,159
Speaker 4: were really like back and forth about it, and I

658
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:24,760
Speaker 4: sat down with this woman we were interviewing, and you know,

659
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:26,840
Speaker 4: I've become like an open book and I'll just tell

660
00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:30,160
Speaker 4: anybody anything and whatever. It's like I hate small talk,

661
00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:32,280
Speaker 4: and so I'm like, I'm just going to tell you

662
00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:34,520
Speaker 4: my whole life, you know, and you can run for

663
00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:36,320
Speaker 4: the hells if you want. But so I sat down

664
00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:38,560
Speaker 4: and I kind of gave her. I was like I

665
00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:40,479
Speaker 4: kind of was like I like told her of what

666
00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:43,320
Speaker 4: was going on. And she said to me, you know,

667
00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:46,840
Speaker 4: I my older brother in high school also started smoking

668
00:28:46,880 --> 00:28:49,600
Speaker 4: pot and got very addicted to it. My parents like

669
00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:51,480
Speaker 4: kind of just didn't know what to do, so they

670
00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:54,959
Speaker 4: didn't do anything. And they kind of just like you know,

671
00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:57,720
Speaker 4: kind of hid their heads and didn't know what to do,

672
00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:02,400
Speaker 4: didn't have resources like brew his deduction, his addiction.

673
00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:04,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, and he died.

674
00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:06,680
Speaker 4: Of a heroin overdose when he was twenty one, and

675
00:29:06,760 --> 00:29:10,000
Speaker 4: I was like, that's not that and I needed to

676
00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:11,760
Speaker 4: hear that story. Like it makes me tear up thinking

677
00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:14,560
Speaker 4: about it because I was like, holy shit. And I

678
00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:17,760
Speaker 4: remember calling Cam and I'm like, we're sending him and

679
00:29:18,040 --> 00:29:20,120
Speaker 4: he was so mad at us, and he it was

680
00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:23,520
Speaker 4: terrible in the beginning, but you know, he's got these tools,

681
00:29:23,560 --> 00:29:25,320
Speaker 4: he knows who he is, he knows what's happening.

682
00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:26,800
Speaker 3: It's like I feel like.

683
00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:30,000
Speaker 4: Honestly, every human should have to kind of go through

684
00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:32,240
Speaker 4: and on some level, like he went to wilderness, a

685
00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:35,320
Speaker 4: wilderness program where he was living off the land in Utah. Wow,

686
00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:36,960
Speaker 4: And like we came out to visit him and he

687
00:29:37,040 --> 00:29:39,080
Speaker 4: was like making fire and he whittle a spoon and

688
00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:40,480
Speaker 4: he was I mean, it was just like I was like.

689
00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:41,040
Speaker 3: Who are you?

690
00:29:41,520 --> 00:29:43,080
Speaker 4: But he was just like I was like, I think

691
00:29:43,120 --> 00:29:45,880
Speaker 4: every human should have to go through something that's like

692
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:49,880
Speaker 4: grit building like that, and he really emerged from it.

693
00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:52,360
Speaker 3: A completely different kid. I mean, and we came home.

694
00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:55,720
Speaker 4: It was the process, but it was you know, I

695
00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:59,200
Speaker 4: just tell the story because I feel like I was

696
00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:01,040
Speaker 4: I had self man over the fact that I a

697
00:30:01,040 --> 00:30:02,400
Speaker 4: thirteen year old go to rehab.

698
00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:05,240
Speaker 3: But when you look at it like that, you know, I'm.

699
00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:07,800
Speaker 4: Like, I feel really grateful that I was able to

700
00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:10,880
Speaker 4: do that, and then I had the means and the resources.

701
00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:12,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, to help him, you know. So so I know

702
00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:16,160
Speaker 1: that you said before you start a dry bar with

703
00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:19,600
Speaker 1: your brother, Yes, have you learned how to keep boundaries

704
00:30:20,280 --> 00:30:23,440
Speaker 1: when you know you're in those sort of intertwined spaces.

705
00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:25,240
Speaker 1: I bet that's been challenging.

706
00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:30,720
Speaker 4: It has, and mostly because I think, you know, for me,

707
00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:34,960
Speaker 4: I grew up in this like if you're okay, I'm okay,

708
00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:38,880
Speaker 4: you know I'm And it's like, I think, you know,

709
00:30:39,200 --> 00:30:41,040
Speaker 4: my dad was a little bit like my kids say,

710
00:30:41,080 --> 00:30:42,760
Speaker 4: I was like I kind of didn't know what I

711
00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:43,280
Speaker 4: was going to get.

712
00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:44,440
Speaker 1: You were kind of on edge.

713
00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:49,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, and and so and I think I always just

714
00:30:49,120 --> 00:30:51,600
Speaker 4: felt like my brother is so much smarter than me,

715
00:30:52,280 --> 00:30:55,800
Speaker 4: and I always felt inferior to him. And it would

716
00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:58,480
Speaker 4: take me several years to like for that to balance out.

717
00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:02,200
Speaker 4: And then even even now, it's kind of a funny,

718
00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:03,840
Speaker 4: it's kind of a joke, but there's so much truth

719
00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:06,360
Speaker 4: in it. Like sometimes if my brother just calls me

720
00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:08,760
Speaker 4: or he texts me like, hey, do you have a second,

721
00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:09,200
Speaker 4: I'm like.

722
00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:12,160
Speaker 3: Oh, I'm in trouble. It's my first instinct.

723
00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:16,240
Speaker 4: When my any of my ex husbands, they like, heye, Ali,

724
00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:16,880
Speaker 4: do you have a minute.

725
00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:18,320
Speaker 1: It's a fighter moment.

726
00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:21,200
Speaker 3: It is. It's like it's yeah, like the lion's coming.

727
00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:26,000
Speaker 4: And so that is, you know, with with boundaries, I

728
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:28,640
Speaker 4: think I don't know if that's the right answer, but

729
00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:30,840
Speaker 4: I I think I'm.

730
00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:33,840
Speaker 3: You know, I don't I don't know.

731
00:31:33,920 --> 00:31:37,400
Speaker 4: I feel like I I think maybe I was answering

732
00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:42,120
Speaker 4: a different question, but I think I think more appropriate,

733
00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:44,880
Speaker 4: I guess is to say, like, especially with starting this

734
00:31:44,960 --> 00:31:47,400
Speaker 4: new company and you know, having sold Drybar and not

735
00:31:47,520 --> 00:31:49,560
Speaker 4: being like is tethered in the way that I was

736
00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:51,720
Speaker 4: because it was retail, it was just kind of we

737
00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:53,960
Speaker 4: it's you know, one hundred and fifty stores open seven

738
00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:57,000
Speaker 4: days a week, so you just don't have any space

739
00:31:57,160 --> 00:31:59,280
Speaker 4: from it. Whereas like now it's just a product business,

740
00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:01,480
Speaker 4: I have a lot more space, and you know, and

741
00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:04,320
Speaker 4: I you know, I feel like I've kind of earned

742
00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:08,040
Speaker 4: the right to travel and you know, create my own

743
00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:12,840
Speaker 4: schedule and so I'm pretty boundaried with that good time

744
00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:14,960
Speaker 4: with my time, and it's like I want to go

745
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:17,240
Speaker 4: out of town, I want to go travel, I want

746
00:32:17,240 --> 00:32:18,560
Speaker 4: to go do this, like I'm going to do it,

747
00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:20,720
Speaker 4: and like my team can adjust and I'll and not,

748
00:32:20,840 --> 00:32:22,320
Speaker 4: you know, I will be there for the things that

749
00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:24,520
Speaker 4: I need to be there for in person. And and

750
00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:27,440
Speaker 4: and sometimes there's some like you know, gymnastics that have

751
00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:28,440
Speaker 4: to go on to make things happen.

752
00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:31,000
Speaker 3: But I feel like, yeah, that's what I'm doing, you know.

753
00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:34,360
Speaker 3: And and I do get that like feeling in the

754
00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:36,560
Speaker 3: back of my mind like is my brother going to

755
00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:37,160
Speaker 3: get mad at me?

756
00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:40,080
Speaker 4: But I'm like I don't care, you know. And and meanwhile,

757
00:32:40,120 --> 00:32:41,640
Speaker 4: my brother not that I don't care, but I'm like.

758
00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:43,560
Speaker 3: But this is this is this is my one life,

759
00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:43,760
Speaker 3: you know.

760
00:32:43,960 --> 00:32:46,600
Speaker 4: And and my brother's a big golfer, you know, And

761
00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:49,640
Speaker 4: like we were just last week.

762
00:32:49,680 --> 00:32:51,040
Speaker 3: He was like, I'm going to be in this golf tournament.

763
00:32:51,080 --> 00:32:53,360
Speaker 4: So if I'm slow to respond, and I was like, good,

764
00:32:53,720 --> 00:32:56,120
Speaker 4: I'm glad you're doing that with balance is important, you know.

765
00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:58,040
Speaker 4: And and part of part of that was posturing for

766
00:32:58,120 --> 00:32:59,920
Speaker 4: like me, because like I'm going to be out of town,

767
00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:03,160
Speaker 4: not super reachable and i've better than a connection.

768
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:04,240
Speaker 3: And he does it, you know, and we and we

769
00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:05,320
Speaker 3: and I think that that's.

770
00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:07,720
Speaker 4: Also you know, back to like being an entrepreneur. You

771
00:33:07,840 --> 00:33:10,160
Speaker 4: have to be able to balance that stuff for yourself.

772
00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:13,920
Speaker 4: Of like I know, I'm you know, I think gone

773
00:33:13,960 --> 00:33:16,480
Speaker 4: are the days of like working I mean not for everybody.

774
00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:19,160
Speaker 4: I'm sure lots of companies still operate like this, like

775
00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:21,000
Speaker 4: but nine to five and like you're sitting at a

776
00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:21,640
Speaker 4: desk all day.

777
00:33:21,880 --> 00:33:25,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. A model doesn't really work right

778
00:33:25,840 --> 00:33:28,200
Speaker 1: when I think, especially for like a small business.

779
00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:32,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I think people are you've yeah, and yourself.

780
00:33:32,120 --> 00:33:33,400
Speaker 3: People are so much more.

781
00:33:33,880 --> 00:33:37,600
Speaker 4: I believe, like energized if you can like sure be

782
00:33:37,640 --> 00:33:39,600
Speaker 4: in the office if you need to connect with people,

783
00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:41,520
Speaker 4: which I actually really like. I love when my team

784
00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:44,760
Speaker 4: is altogether because it's like ideas flow more. It's like

785
00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:47,920
Speaker 4: the in person so much better than zoom. But if

786
00:33:47,920 --> 00:33:49,920
Speaker 4: you're not you know, but my team is like all

787
00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:51,800
Speaker 4: over the place. We have a you know, our marketing

788
00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:54,240
Speaker 4: girls in New York and our president is in Texas

789
00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:57,120
Speaker 4: and so we're all over the place and you know,

790
00:33:57,200 --> 00:34:00,000
Speaker 4: and so it's like I don't go do yoga and

791
00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:00,720
Speaker 4: middle of the day.

792
00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:00,960
Speaker 3: You know.

793
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:04,320
Speaker 4: It's like when in my Elizabeth, who's the president of

794
00:34:04,360 --> 00:34:06,720
Speaker 4: a company, she's got two little girls, and like she's

795
00:34:06,760 --> 00:34:08,840
Speaker 4: pretty much she's actually the one who sits at her

796
00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:11,480
Speaker 4: desk all day and then at like five o'clock she's out.

797
00:34:11,560 --> 00:34:14,320
Speaker 3: And then she's like kids bats, Yeah, all of a sudden,

798
00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:14,920
Speaker 3: and we just know.

799
00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:17,960
Speaker 4: And I really respect that boundary and really, unless something

800
00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:19,960
Speaker 4: really crazy is going on, I won't bother her at

801
00:34:19,960 --> 00:34:21,920
Speaker 4: that time, Whereas like they know, they can text me

802
00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:23,240
Speaker 4: at nine o'clock at night and I'll.

803
00:34:23,080 --> 00:34:24,600
Speaker 3: Be like, Okay, let's talk about it. You know.

804
00:34:24,960 --> 00:34:28,239
Speaker 4: So it's and learning, you know what your comfort level

805
00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:30,440
Speaker 4: is with that. And I really don't think that everybody's

806
00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:32,239
Speaker 4: cut out for that, Like I think some people do

807
00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:37,359
Speaker 4: really like and thrive on like the concistency structure. And

808
00:34:37,400 --> 00:34:40,280
Speaker 4: I think that's the other differentiator of an entrepreneur, somebody

809
00:34:40,280 --> 00:34:43,319
Speaker 4: who can like just kind of quickly move between things.

810
00:34:43,560 --> 00:34:47,359
Speaker 4: And for me, it's like personal business is so very intertwined,

811
00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:50,640
Speaker 4: you know, I talk about it all like it's just

812
00:34:50,680 --> 00:34:52,440
Speaker 4: all kind of coexists.

813
00:34:51,920 --> 00:34:53,719
Speaker 3: For me, and I think some people need it to not.

814
00:34:54,400 --> 00:34:57,440
Speaker 1: Like that's my job right, and when I'm done, I'm

815
00:34:57,440 --> 00:34:58,000
Speaker 1: done right.

816
00:34:58,120 --> 00:34:59,480
Speaker 3: And I've just never been that person.

817
00:35:00,440 --> 00:35:02,719
Speaker 1: I haven't eaten. I feel like all, you know, just

818
00:35:02,760 --> 00:35:05,640
Speaker 1: working on sets. My whole life that you had like

819
00:35:05,680 --> 00:35:08,120
Speaker 1: a you had a turnaround law, like they couldn't work

820
00:35:08,120 --> 00:35:11,000
Speaker 1: you over twelve hours without paying you extra. Yeah, and

821
00:35:11,080 --> 00:35:13,960
Speaker 1: so I kind of lived my life in twelve hour increments.

822
00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:16,120
Speaker 1: I feel like twelve hours is a long time all

823
00:35:16,120 --> 00:35:18,320
Speaker 1: the time. Yeah, yeah, it gets tiring.

824
00:35:18,480 --> 00:35:20,799
Speaker 4: Yeah, but that's But then when you would walk off set,

825
00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:23,000
Speaker 4: do you are you like, bye, you don't?

826
00:35:23,239 --> 00:35:24,120
Speaker 3: Do you not think about it?

827
00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:26,279
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't take my job home with me

828
00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:29,839
Speaker 1: now I do now that it's my business. Now that's

829
00:35:29,840 --> 00:35:32,120
Speaker 1: my what I'm passionate about.

830
00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:34,400
Speaker 4: But like as an actor, and I sorry, I know

831
00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:36,840
Speaker 4: this is your interview, not mine, but I'm so curious,

832
00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:40,000
Speaker 4: like if you like, do you think about the character?

833
00:35:40,280 --> 00:35:42,080
Speaker 4: Like do you think about what you're doing when you're

834
00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:43,759
Speaker 4: not on set? Or is it only like you turn

835
00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:44,879
Speaker 4: it on when you walk on set?

836
00:35:45,040 --> 00:35:49,840
Speaker 1: You know, everybody's different. I think, yeah, everybody's different. I

837
00:35:49,840 --> 00:35:53,560
Speaker 1: would say that I think about it a lot before,

838
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:56,200
Speaker 1: but once it's done, once the scene's over, once my

839
00:35:56,239 --> 00:35:57,839
Speaker 1: work is done for the day, I'm out.

840
00:35:58,520 --> 00:35:59,880
Speaker 4: You know, I always felt like I don't know how

841
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:01,960
Speaker 4: anybody can be an actress because you'd have to memorize

842
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:03,719
Speaker 4: all those lines, and that feels like the hardest, the

843
00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:05,160
Speaker 4: busiest thing in the world to me.

844
00:36:05,320 --> 00:36:07,240
Speaker 1: It used to be really easy. Now it's a little harder.

845
00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:07,799
Speaker 3: Really.

846
00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:10,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think if you don't use it, you lose it.

847
00:36:10,719 --> 00:36:10,960
Speaker 3: You know.

848
00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:13,680
Speaker 1: I want to talk to you about something that I

849
00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:19,840
Speaker 1: think is so amazing because you, with Drybar, built this image,

850
00:36:19,920 --> 00:36:23,279
Speaker 1: this world of the smoothed out hair, the perfect hair.

851
00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:24,920
Speaker 3: You're like, what's happening?

852
00:36:25,160 --> 00:36:28,839
Speaker 1: Now you have the exact opposite, and you're making just

853
00:36:28,960 --> 00:36:30,719
Speaker 1: as big of a business out of it as you

854
00:36:30,760 --> 00:36:31,319
Speaker 1: did dry Bar.

855
00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:32,440
Speaker 3: Try and.

856
00:36:39,040 --> 00:36:41,880
Speaker 1: Was that an intentional I'm going to flip the script.

857
00:36:42,320 --> 00:36:44,160
Speaker 1: I'm going to do the opposite and see how that goes.

858
00:36:44,640 --> 00:36:49,200
Speaker 4: No, it wasn't premeditated at all. There was never It

859
00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:52,840
Speaker 4: only really developed about two years ago, and it was

860
00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:55,799
Speaker 4: just so organic and authentic to where I was in

861
00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:59,440
Speaker 4: my life. I think when Covid had sold Drybar right

862
00:36:59,440 --> 00:37:02,560
Speaker 4: before Covid hit like a week like we sold it

863
00:37:02,920 --> 00:37:06,880
Speaker 4: at the end of March twenty twenty and I had

864
00:37:06,960 --> 00:37:09,520
Speaker 4: identital us when we sold Drybar because I was like

865
00:37:10,200 --> 00:37:13,160
Speaker 4: and yeah, and then COVID didn't help, but I would.

866
00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:15,759
Speaker 4: But but I just met my second husband. I was

867
00:37:15,800 --> 00:37:18,120
Speaker 4: like head every heels in love, and I was like, Oh,

868
00:37:18,120 --> 00:37:19,680
Speaker 4: we're just going to be shacked up at home for

869
00:37:19,719 --> 00:37:22,759
Speaker 4: two years, okay, Like I was actually like fine with it,

870
00:37:22,880 --> 00:37:25,480
Speaker 4: which really, you know, wasn't We had been dating for

871
00:37:25,520 --> 00:37:27,360
Speaker 4: such a short time. We weren't ready to move into that.

872
00:37:27,360 --> 00:37:29,759
Speaker 4: That's part of the problem, but that's a whole other podcasts.

873
00:37:30,680 --> 00:37:32,160
Speaker 1: Oh COVID relationship.

874
00:37:32,280 --> 00:37:34,319
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was like it made or broke It made

875
00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:36,040
Speaker 4: you or broke you, and it made us.

876
00:37:36,280 --> 00:37:37,560
Speaker 3: I just would eventually break us.

877
00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:40,680
Speaker 4: But because it was all very premature because we were

878
00:37:40,760 --> 00:37:42,799
Speaker 4: you know, we shouldn't have moved in together as early

879
00:37:42,840 --> 00:37:45,200
Speaker 4: as we did, but COVID kind of forced us into

880
00:37:45,320 --> 00:37:48,240
Speaker 4: not force us, but you know, so anyway, but during

881
00:37:48,239 --> 00:37:51,800
Speaker 4: that time, I sold Drybar and now we were home

882
00:37:51,880 --> 00:37:54,040
Speaker 4: and nobody was going anywhere, so I'd kind of stopped

883
00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:56,160
Speaker 4: coloring my hair and so stop blow drying my hair

884
00:37:56,200 --> 00:37:58,160
Speaker 4: because I was I don't know, I wasn't going it.

885
00:37:58,239 --> 00:38:01,520
Speaker 3: I didn't need to do it. Just kind of fell away, and.

886
00:38:03,520 --> 00:38:06,040
Speaker 4: Up until that point, over the last like fifteen years,

887
00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:08,640
Speaker 4: like my hair just never grew, or so I thought.

888
00:38:08,680 --> 00:38:11,080
Speaker 4: I think my hair was just constantly breaking. And I

889
00:38:11,239 --> 00:38:15,680
Speaker 4: just kind of like abandoned blowing out my hair. Not

890
00:38:15,719 --> 00:38:17,160
Speaker 4: because I was like, I'm going to stop blowing out

891
00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:18,680
Speaker 4: my hair to see if it grows and I see if.

892
00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:19,680
Speaker 3: I can start this new company.

893
00:38:19,719 --> 00:38:22,480
Speaker 4: Like not at all, it's just like what was happening

894
00:38:22,520 --> 00:38:24,600
Speaker 4: to me in that time, and I noticed my hair

895
00:38:24,640 --> 00:38:28,279
Speaker 4: getting healthier and starting to grow and stopped breaking, and so,

896
00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:31,440
Speaker 4: you know, it didn't even occur to me, you know.

897
00:38:31,480 --> 00:38:33,880
Speaker 3: And then I started writing my second book, The Messy.

898
00:38:33,719 --> 00:38:36,960
Speaker 4: Truth, while I was you know, happily you know, in

899
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:39,960
Speaker 4: a relationship, got engaged, and was just wrote up my

900
00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:43,360
Speaker 4: whole story of like you know, building drybars, selling it,

901
00:38:43,480 --> 00:38:44,040
Speaker 4: scaling it.

902
00:38:44,160 --> 00:38:44,520
Speaker 3: Everything.

903
00:38:44,560 --> 00:38:46,480
Speaker 4: I every like business lesson I could think of is

904
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:49,360
Speaker 4: in the book. So proud of it, loved how it

905
00:38:49,400 --> 00:38:54,120
Speaker 4: came out, and it was about I guess it was

906
00:38:54,600 --> 00:38:56,239
Speaker 4: my book was I was gearing up for a big

907
00:38:56,280 --> 00:39:01,279
Speaker 4: book tour, so I guess this was in like like

908
00:39:01,360 --> 00:39:04,600
Speaker 4: around twenty twenty one. I don't even you know, it's

909
00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:07,160
Speaker 4: so funny it's like every it's such a blur, like.

910
00:39:07,080 --> 00:39:09,719
Speaker 3: I got you lost two years and everybody lost two Yeah.

911
00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:13,400
Speaker 4: And I got engaged at that somewhere in there, you know,

912
00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:15,920
Speaker 4: on my honeymoon, I was like finishing up my book,

913
00:39:16,040 --> 00:39:18,239
Speaker 4: like I was spending time with my book and my

914
00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:21,440
Speaker 4: you know. Then husband was like or he was like,

915
00:39:21,680 --> 00:39:23,239
Speaker 4: you know, reading it with me, Like it was like

916
00:39:23,400 --> 00:39:26,200
Speaker 4: it was great, you know, life seemed great. And then

917
00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:31,239
Speaker 4: it's our relationship started to very quickly unravel and which

918
00:39:31,280 --> 00:39:32,880
Speaker 4: I you know, won't get into the details of that,

919
00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:37,239
Speaker 4: but so I was about it was about a maybe

920
00:39:37,320 --> 00:39:41,880
Speaker 4: a month away from going to print, and our relationship

921
00:39:42,200 --> 00:39:45,279
Speaker 4: fell apart, and I was like, oh shit.

922
00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:47,560
Speaker 3: And that's when I was, you know, on the floor.

923
00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:50,880
Speaker 4: And one of my I don't want and now I

924
00:39:50,880 --> 00:39:51,960
Speaker 4: was like I don't want to go on a book tour,

925
00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:52,840
Speaker 4: like I don't want to do anything.

926
00:39:52,960 --> 00:39:55,560
Speaker 3: I don't want to do anything, you know. I was devastated,

927
00:39:55,680 --> 00:39:59,359
Speaker 3: and so that wasn't going to fly.

928
00:39:59,440 --> 00:40:02,640
Speaker 4: I got a very big book deal moments. Yeah, and

929
00:40:02,719 --> 00:40:05,560
Speaker 4: so it was like, okay, what now. And I at

930
00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:07,400
Speaker 4: the time, I had a really great assistant who I

931
00:40:07,480 --> 00:40:11,000
Speaker 4: was like, you work with. I hired a PR firm.

932
00:40:11,040 --> 00:40:13,360
Speaker 4: I was like, you just do it, like, just plan it.

933
00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:16,000
Speaker 4: I'll show up where, you know, which is very not

934
00:40:16,120 --> 00:40:19,200
Speaker 4: my style. I'm pretty like type A controlling and I

935
00:40:19,239 --> 00:40:21,680
Speaker 4: was like, I don't care, just figure it out, you know.

936
00:40:21,719 --> 00:40:23,640
Speaker 3: And luckily she was. Her name is Celia and she

937
00:40:23,719 --> 00:40:24,240
Speaker 3: was amazing.

938
00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:28,040
Speaker 4: And but my agent was like, you have to put

939
00:40:28,040 --> 00:40:31,000
Speaker 4: this in the book. I was like, what, like the

940
00:40:31,080 --> 00:40:33,799
Speaker 4: breakup because the last chapter of the book is all

941
00:40:33,840 --> 00:40:36,120
Speaker 4: about finding love and my second marriage and wearing a

942
00:40:36,120 --> 00:40:39,080
Speaker 4: pink dress to my wedding, which was so beautiful, you know,

943
00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:40,840
Speaker 4: the great Girl, the girls from the Great Emily and

944
00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:41,840
Speaker 4: marriage and a brand.

945
00:40:41,960 --> 00:40:43,719
Speaker 3: So they made my custom dress for me.

946
00:40:44,560 --> 00:40:47,680
Speaker 4: It was the most beautiful dress and the wedding was phenomenal.

947
00:40:47,680 --> 00:40:49,520
Speaker 4: It was so beautiful because you know, your first wedding

948
00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:51,799
Speaker 4: is like what your parents want. Your second wedding is

949
00:40:51,800 --> 00:40:54,080
Speaker 4: what you want, you know, and so and you know,

950
00:40:54,160 --> 00:40:56,319
Speaker 4: and I pulled out all the stops and that we

951
00:40:56,360 --> 00:40:58,480
Speaker 4: had this beautiful wedding, and I wrote all about it

952
00:40:58,480 --> 00:40:59,280
Speaker 4: in my last chapter.

953
00:41:00,040 --> 00:41:01,720
Speaker 1: Did you have to do it like an addendum?

954
00:41:01,880 --> 00:41:04,560
Speaker 4: I did an afterward after and because my agent was like,

955
00:41:04,600 --> 00:41:06,480
Speaker 4: you have to you cannot put this book out in

956
00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:08,160
Speaker 4: the world and publish my publisher too.

957
00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:09,000
Speaker 3: They're like, you can't.

958
00:41:09,320 --> 00:41:12,200
Speaker 4: It's going to be like what you know, And so

959
00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:16,680
Speaker 4: I wrote this like grueling afterward, which is funny to

960
00:41:16,719 --> 00:41:20,000
Speaker 4: read now because I was like, I was so in it, yeah,

961
00:41:20,400 --> 00:41:22,279
Speaker 4: and but I had to. And I you know, I

962
00:41:22,440 --> 00:41:25,200
Speaker 4: like under the wire, like I remember them emailing me like, Ali,

963
00:41:25,239 --> 00:41:27,280
Speaker 4: if we don't get this by Friday, oh.

964
00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:30,359
Speaker 1: God, I love this. Our lives are parallel right now,

965
00:41:30,360 --> 00:41:33,040
Speaker 1: by the way, really Friday is my deadline.

966
00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:34,600
Speaker 3: And I was like, okay.

967
00:41:34,760 --> 00:41:36,520
Speaker 4: So I wrote it like one night, at like two

968
00:41:36,600 --> 00:41:38,440
Speaker 4: in the morning, I said I had a ghostwriter.

969
00:41:38,520 --> 00:41:39,719
Speaker 3: I sent to my garsh. I was like, does this

970
00:41:39,760 --> 00:41:40,640
Speaker 3: sound like happening?

971
00:41:40,719 --> 00:41:43,040
Speaker 4: And she's like, it's pretty good. She like made a

972
00:41:43,080 --> 00:41:45,799
Speaker 4: couple of tweaks and shipped it, you know. And so

973
00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:49,600
Speaker 4: I really wasn't. I really had like retreated from social

974
00:41:49,680 --> 00:41:52,320
Speaker 4: media and everything during that time, and so when the

975
00:41:52,360 --> 00:41:54,520
Speaker 4: book came out, I started slowly talking about it, and

976
00:41:54,520 --> 00:41:56,000
Speaker 4: then I was doing interviews, and by the time the

977
00:41:56,040 --> 00:41:57,680
Speaker 4: book came out, I was I was in a much

978
00:41:57,719 --> 00:41:58,640
Speaker 4: better place.

979
00:41:58,920 --> 00:42:00,400
Speaker 3: Not great, but better.

980
00:42:00,920 --> 00:42:04,279
Speaker 4: But anyways, so during this time, my my hair was

981
00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:07,080
Speaker 4: kind of going through a transformation as as I was,

982
00:42:07,680 --> 00:42:10,399
Speaker 4: and I just I kind of just got like sick

983
00:42:10,440 --> 00:42:15,120
Speaker 4: of like, you know that, like the was like being

984
00:42:15,120 --> 00:42:16,759
Speaker 4: a slave to my hair. Then I was like, I

985
00:42:16,800 --> 00:42:18,799
Speaker 4: think I have to, like I just don't want to

986
00:42:18,800 --> 00:42:20,720
Speaker 4: do it anymore. But then I was like I started

987
00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:24,919
Speaker 4: kind of experimenting with, you know, how do I get

988
00:42:24,960 --> 00:42:29,200
Speaker 4: my hair to look good curly because.

989
00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:30,840
Speaker 1: About the heat and all the day about the.

990
00:42:30,840 --> 00:42:32,640
Speaker 3: Heat and all this stuff. And I was like, and

991
00:42:32,680 --> 00:42:34,200
Speaker 3: I cause I don't want to go back to that.

992
00:42:34,719 --> 00:42:35,560
Speaker 3: I don't, you know.

993
00:42:35,600 --> 00:42:37,200
Speaker 4: And I just kind of like was like I don't

994
00:42:37,239 --> 00:42:40,080
Speaker 4: think I love a blowout anymore, and its I do.

995
00:42:40,440 --> 00:42:42,719
Speaker 3: I mean I actually just had my hair colored like

996
00:42:42,800 --> 00:42:44,840
Speaker 3: last week and they blew it out and I was like, oh.

997
00:42:44,760 --> 00:42:47,200
Speaker 4: Right, I remember why I like this, and I do

998
00:42:47,440 --> 00:42:50,080
Speaker 4: and I do still like it, but I just, you know,

999
00:42:50,160 --> 00:42:53,920
Speaker 4: I got I just became so so like identified with

1000
00:42:53,960 --> 00:42:56,000
Speaker 4: my hair like this, and I started to really fall

1001
00:42:56,040 --> 00:42:56,440
Speaker 4: in love with it.

1002
00:42:56,440 --> 00:42:57,319
Speaker 3: And I was like it's so.

1003
00:42:57,440 --> 00:43:00,239
Speaker 4: Pretty, Like why have I never embraced this? And so

1004
00:43:00,760 --> 00:43:02,839
Speaker 4: but then I was like, how do I get it

1005
00:43:03,200 --> 00:43:05,440
Speaker 4: to look this way? Because if I just let it

1006
00:43:05,520 --> 00:43:08,040
Speaker 4: dry naturally, it would dry kind of crazy. It's curlier

1007
00:43:08,080 --> 00:43:10,239
Speaker 4: in some parts than the others. And then I started

1008
00:43:10,280 --> 00:43:12,560
Speaker 4: I just started experimenting, and I was like, what now

1009
00:43:12,560 --> 00:43:14,239
Speaker 4: we call like a rough dry cream which is our

1010
00:43:14,239 --> 00:43:17,200
Speaker 4: hero product and messy O rough drying it?

1011
00:43:17,320 --> 00:43:20,160
Speaker 1: Wait, I for you today. I know you love red lipstick.

1012
00:43:20,200 --> 00:43:22,240
Speaker 1: I wore red and I try to do messy.

1013
00:43:22,440 --> 00:43:24,319
Speaker 3: Yeah. I think you did a good job.

1014
00:43:24,400 --> 00:43:26,520
Speaker 1: I feel like I might. It looks like I just

1015
00:43:26,600 --> 00:43:28,719
Speaker 1: like had a romp in the hay, like.

1016
00:43:28,640 --> 00:43:30,480
Speaker 3: Which was dry. Hey, what's wrong with that?

1017
00:43:31,840 --> 00:43:34,160
Speaker 1: It's just I don't know, but I you're right, I

1018
00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:35,200
Speaker 1: didn't have the right product.

1019
00:43:35,320 --> 00:43:35,560
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1020
00:43:35,640 --> 00:43:36,719
Speaker 3: Well it's the products.

1021
00:43:36,800 --> 00:43:39,400
Speaker 4: And that's the thing is like I couldn't find a

1022
00:43:39,440 --> 00:43:42,120
Speaker 4: product that I liked to like, which now we were

1023
00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:44,360
Speaker 4: talking about it, it's like rough drying it, putting it

1024
00:43:44,400 --> 00:43:46,440
Speaker 4: in twist and letting it dry in a twist, because

1025
00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:48,400
Speaker 4: you know, the way hair dries is the way it stays.

1026
00:43:48,400 --> 00:43:50,040
Speaker 4: If you had a blowout and someone's using a round

1027
00:43:50,040 --> 00:43:51,920
Speaker 4: brush or worn over again, that's how it's going to say.

1028
00:43:52,120 --> 00:43:56,200
Speaker 4: If you twist your hair when it's wet damp, I

1029
00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:58,480
Speaker 4: should say not wet. You know, you're rough drying it

1030
00:43:58,520 --> 00:44:02,200
Speaker 4: a little with the the rough dry styling thing you

1031
00:44:02,239 --> 00:44:05,319
Speaker 4: have and let it dry. It'll dry. It has like

1032
00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:08,279
Speaker 4: a soft hole and so it really dries in the

1033
00:44:08,320 --> 00:44:11,359
Speaker 4: way that you leave it. If you have like hair

1034
00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:13,359
Speaker 4: that's on the straighter side, I always tell people to

1035
00:44:13,360 --> 00:44:14,399
Speaker 4: like clip it up in.

1036
00:44:14,400 --> 00:44:15,840
Speaker 3: The twist and let it dry.

1037
00:44:16,239 --> 00:44:19,359
Speaker 4: So I was experimenting with this, and I was like, huh,

1038
00:44:19,400 --> 00:44:21,439
Speaker 4: and I started to really like the way my hair looked,

1039
00:44:21,440 --> 00:44:23,520
Speaker 4: Like I felt like, oh my god, I cracked the code,

1040
00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:24,200
Speaker 4: you know, and.

1041
00:44:24,160 --> 00:44:26,560
Speaker 3: I was so excited. Then I started talking to my brother.

1042
00:44:26,600 --> 00:44:28,160
Speaker 4: I was like, I kind of think that there's an

1043
00:44:28,200 --> 00:44:32,279
Speaker 4: opportunity to create a product here that like embrace the

1044
00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:33,759
Speaker 4: hair that you have, like get the hair that you

1045
00:44:33,800 --> 00:44:36,040
Speaker 4: want with the hair that you have. And you know,

1046
00:44:36,360 --> 00:44:38,719
Speaker 4: I think so many women and I think that I'm

1047
00:44:38,760 --> 00:44:41,719
Speaker 4: partially responsible for this, and teenage girls for sure. And

1048
00:44:41,760 --> 00:44:44,120
Speaker 4: I'm curious with your girls, like because I hear it

1049
00:44:44,160 --> 00:44:45,120
Speaker 4: from moms all the time.

1050
00:44:46,040 --> 00:44:49,360
Speaker 3: You know. We set this standard of like the perfect blowout.

1051
00:44:49,440 --> 00:44:51,239
Speaker 3: I mean that was our tagline, you know, And so.

1052
00:44:52,440 --> 00:44:55,760
Speaker 4: A lot of hair got damaged, like the literal collateral

1053
00:44:55,800 --> 00:44:59,160
Speaker 4: damage of overheat styling. And I'm not saying don't ever

1054
00:44:59,200 --> 00:45:01,680
Speaker 4: blow out your hair, but don't do it every day.

1055
00:45:02,120 --> 00:45:04,840
Speaker 4: And here's an all, here's a solution, and I'm going

1056
00:45:04,920 --> 00:45:07,160
Speaker 4: to give you the products and give you like the

1057
00:45:07,840 --> 00:45:11,120
Speaker 4: technique to do it and permission. That was the other

1058
00:45:11,160 --> 00:45:13,719
Speaker 4: thing is like if you know, it's like I love

1059
00:45:13,760 --> 00:45:15,759
Speaker 4: it when you see, you know, in magazines are on

1060
00:45:15,840 --> 00:45:18,319
Speaker 4: red carpets, when like when like Nicole Kidman lets her

1061
00:45:18,360 --> 00:45:21,560
Speaker 4: hair be baby, it's so beautiful, you know, and not

1062
00:45:21,680 --> 00:45:24,319
Speaker 4: even that extreme use her hair so curly. But you're

1063
00:45:24,440 --> 00:45:27,200
Speaker 4: just you know, if you start seeing women who are

1064
00:45:27,200 --> 00:45:31,120
Speaker 4: embracing a messy or not so perfect look and you're like, oh,

1065
00:45:31,320 --> 00:45:33,239
Speaker 4: I like that, I can maybe pull that off.

1066
00:45:33,320 --> 00:45:37,200
Speaker 1: I mean, it's so it's kind of profound because you've

1067
00:45:37,200 --> 00:45:41,200
Speaker 1: gone through this life all the messy parts, and now

1068
00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:45,359
Speaker 1: you are inviting women to sort of embrace their messiness, right,

1069
00:45:45,840 --> 00:45:50,319
Speaker 1: which is such a good message. Stop worrying so much

1070
00:45:50,400 --> 00:45:54,680
Speaker 1: about being perfect and being unmessy and you know, just

1071
00:45:54,719 --> 00:45:58,840
Speaker 1: really encouraging women to be natural, be themselves and also

1072
00:45:58,920 --> 00:46:00,719
Speaker 1: giving us great products help us to do well.

1073
00:46:00,719 --> 00:46:02,960
Speaker 4: And you know, all the products and you'll see that

1074
00:46:03,080 --> 00:46:04,560
Speaker 4: you know, I brought them off for you. It's like

1075
00:46:04,600 --> 00:46:08,080
Speaker 4: the rough dry styling cream is the mantra. Every product

1076
00:46:08,080 --> 00:46:08,600
Speaker 4: has a mantra.

1077
00:46:08,640 --> 00:46:09,160
Speaker 3: I am enough.

1078
00:46:09,480 --> 00:46:11,479
Speaker 4: The silk revival stuff that I sprayed in your hair

1079
00:46:11,719 --> 00:46:14,960
Speaker 4: is like you know, I am transformed, and the serum

1080
00:46:15,040 --> 00:46:16,960
Speaker 4: is I am unbreakable, and the shampoos I can begin

1081
00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:18,000
Speaker 4: again and you know and again.

1082
00:46:18,080 --> 00:46:20,000
Speaker 3: It's like that is part.

1083
00:46:19,800 --> 00:46:22,120
Speaker 4: Of that was part of my kind of spiritual journey

1084
00:46:22,160 --> 00:46:24,919
Speaker 4: of like I want you to think read I'm enough.

1085
00:46:24,960 --> 00:46:27,759
Speaker 4: I mean we I'm sure you've studied this too. It's

1086
00:46:27,800 --> 00:46:31,279
Speaker 4: like I love neuroscience. Not that I'm That's something I

1087
00:46:31,320 --> 00:46:32,839
Speaker 4: wish I had learn more about in school, but like

1088
00:46:33,360 --> 00:46:35,600
Speaker 4: you know that we can change like the neuropathways in

1089
00:46:35,600 --> 00:46:38,040
Speaker 4: our brains, and like by saying or even just reading

1090
00:46:38,520 --> 00:46:40,840
Speaker 4: in your mind I am enough or I am transformed,

1091
00:46:40,880 --> 00:46:43,640
Speaker 4: it gives you that little bit of confidence and like

1092
00:46:43,680 --> 00:46:46,360
Speaker 4: boost And that's what I want, you know, these products

1093
00:46:46,400 --> 00:46:48,360
Speaker 4: to do, like to make your immuine listen. I'm a

1094
00:46:48,360 --> 00:46:50,799
Speaker 4: beauty girl. I love vanity like I love it all,

1095
00:46:50,880 --> 00:46:54,680
Speaker 4: but I also like there is a spiritual like component

1096
00:46:54,800 --> 00:46:56,319
Speaker 4: to all of this too. It's like I want women

1097
00:46:56,400 --> 00:46:58,920
Speaker 4: to feel it, feel their best, look their best, and

1098
00:46:59,200 --> 00:47:01,680
Speaker 4: embrace it. And it's it's going to look different for everyone.

1099
00:47:01,719 --> 00:47:04,040
Speaker 4: I Mean, what's been really interesting to me now is

1100
00:47:04,080 --> 00:47:07,640
Speaker 4: watching and if you look at our instagram, it's messy.

1101
00:47:07,760 --> 00:47:09,399
Speaker 3: You'll see all the tutorials of.

1102
00:47:09,480 --> 00:47:11,400
Speaker 1: Good of like walkun this morning.

1103
00:47:11,640 --> 00:47:14,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's crazy because and I watch them and I

1104
00:47:14,440 --> 00:47:16,480
Speaker 4: learned stuff too, you know. I mean, I'm such a

1105
00:47:16,520 --> 00:47:18,680
Speaker 4: like seeker and learner and there's always more to learn.

1106
00:47:18,719 --> 00:47:20,359
Speaker 4: And I watch the way some of these girls are

1107
00:47:20,360 --> 00:47:22,839
Speaker 4: doing theirs and I'm like, oh, like some of them

1108
00:47:22,840 --> 00:47:24,239
Speaker 4: are doing bigger tow with, some of them are doing

1109
00:47:24,320 --> 00:47:26,239
Speaker 4: smallers with. Some of them are like, you know, using

1110
00:47:26,280 --> 00:47:28,000
Speaker 4: a diffuser just to put the heat on the hair,

1111
00:47:28,080 --> 00:47:30,799
Speaker 4: not to like diffuse it up. And I you know,

1112
00:47:30,840 --> 00:47:33,680
Speaker 4: and it's really interesting and amazing to watch how other

1113
00:47:33,760 --> 00:47:38,360
Speaker 4: women are, you know, incorporating this into their routine and

1114
00:47:38,360 --> 00:47:40,399
Speaker 4: and you know, it actually happens to be a great

1115
00:47:40,440 --> 00:47:42,879
Speaker 4: blowout cream too, the rough dry striling can because it's

1116
00:47:42,920 --> 00:47:46,800
Speaker 4: such a beautiful formula and it gives you that soft

1117
00:47:46,840 --> 00:47:49,480
Speaker 4: hold for whatever cele you're going for, and you know,

1118
00:47:49,640 --> 00:47:52,320
Speaker 4: and so all the products are are very very versatile.

1119
00:47:52,719 --> 00:47:55,120
Speaker 4: I like wearing my hair like this now and some

1120
00:47:55,239 --> 00:47:57,359
Speaker 4: but sometimes they blow it out and I still use

1121
00:47:57,360 --> 00:47:58,080
Speaker 4: my products, you know.

1122
00:47:58,160 --> 00:48:02,680
Speaker 3: So it's really like give women permission to like chill

1123
00:48:02,719 --> 00:48:05,400
Speaker 3: a little on the heat and allow their hair to

1124
00:48:05,600 --> 00:48:07,319
Speaker 3: you know, transform and hydrate it.

1125
00:48:07,400 --> 00:48:10,279
Speaker 1: Like, yeah, just take control. And if you want to

1126
00:48:10,320 --> 00:48:13,919
Speaker 1: wear your hair natural and curly, and who's to say

1127
00:48:13,960 --> 00:48:16,920
Speaker 1: you shouldn't. And we've seen those ideals are just gone now.

1128
00:48:16,880 --> 00:48:17,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know.

1129
00:48:17,600 --> 00:48:19,520
Speaker 4: And I think I think, like, like, just like fashion,

1130
00:48:19,560 --> 00:48:21,799
Speaker 4: like everything comes full circle and comes back around again.

1131
00:48:21,800 --> 00:48:24,680
Speaker 4: And I think, you know, we're seeing bigger hair, We're

1132
00:48:24,719 --> 00:48:27,880
Speaker 4: seeing more messy, less perfect, you know, undone. And I

1133
00:48:27,920 --> 00:48:31,520
Speaker 4: think women really want healthier hair. I mean, healthier hair

1134
00:48:31,680 --> 00:48:33,839
Speaker 4: looks better. And so if your hair, you know, what

1135
00:48:33,880 --> 00:48:36,160
Speaker 4: does that look like, it's like hydrated hair, Like you know,

1136
00:48:36,239 --> 00:48:38,200
Speaker 4: all of our products that are meant to hydrate your

1137
00:48:38,200 --> 00:48:39,919
Speaker 4: hair and make your hair feel really good.

1138
00:48:39,920 --> 00:48:42,840
Speaker 1: For me, I cannot wait to get into my bathroom

1139
00:48:43,080 --> 00:48:44,480
Speaker 1: and I can't wait wait my new products.

1140
00:48:44,600 --> 00:48:45,960
Speaker 4: I can't wait for you to use the shampoo and

1141
00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:48,720
Speaker 4: conditioner because that's really where it starts, you foundation.

1142
00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:51,839
Speaker 1: Literally, I was washing my hair this morning and I

1143
00:48:51,880 --> 00:48:54,040
Speaker 1: was thinking, I wasn't thinking about you, but I was like,

1144
00:48:54,080 --> 00:48:56,440
Speaker 1: I got to get a better hair regime, like my

1145
00:48:56,680 --> 00:48:58,319
Speaker 1: you know, my thing. I've been using this for a

1146
00:48:58,360 --> 00:49:00,480
Speaker 1: while and so of switch it up and like totally

1147
00:49:00,600 --> 00:49:03,840
Speaker 1: new technology. And yeah, also just like I want to

1148
00:49:03,880 --> 00:49:08,600
Speaker 1: really embrace your ethos of like it's okay.

1149
00:49:08,440 --> 00:49:12,040
Speaker 4: And I think you'll find that like from it, you know,

1150
00:49:12,040 --> 00:49:13,760
Speaker 4: I would I feel like I'd never make a product

1151
00:49:13,760 --> 00:49:16,440
Speaker 4: line without a shampoo conditioner because it is so foundational

1152
00:49:16,480 --> 00:49:19,360
Speaker 4: for everything else. And then you know the rough dry cream.

1153
00:49:19,400 --> 00:49:21,319
Speaker 4: You'll see how that feels in your hair. And then

1154
00:49:21,440 --> 00:49:24,280
Speaker 4: the overnight serum we have, which is like this beautiful

1155
00:49:24,280 --> 00:49:26,000
Speaker 4: glass bottle that's meant to sit next to your bed

1156
00:49:26,040 --> 00:49:27,719
Speaker 4: because like it should be the last thing you do.

1157
00:49:27,840 --> 00:49:30,600
Speaker 1: What's it say? What's what's its positive message?

1158
00:49:30,719 --> 00:49:33,759
Speaker 4: It's I will not be broken? Yeah, and which is

1159
00:49:33,800 --> 00:49:36,600
Speaker 4: a double entendre because it's like your hair, you're broken,

1160
00:49:36,640 --> 00:49:38,960
Speaker 4: and so we say, put it next to your bed

1161
00:49:39,320 --> 00:49:40,759
Speaker 4: and put it in your hair before you go to

1162
00:49:40,760 --> 00:49:42,680
Speaker 4: sleep at night. That's what I do every night. I

1163
00:49:42,719 --> 00:49:44,480
Speaker 4: put the serum in my hair before I go to sleep,

1164
00:49:44,600 --> 00:49:46,239
Speaker 4: just my ends. I do it in the morning too.

1165
00:49:46,320 --> 00:49:49,080
Speaker 4: It has preserved my hair because when you sleep, and

1166
00:49:49,120 --> 00:49:50,920
Speaker 4: I'm sure you put stuff on your skin when you

1167
00:49:50,960 --> 00:49:51,600
Speaker 4: go to sleep, at night.

1168
00:49:51,680 --> 00:49:52,040
Speaker 1: That's right.

1169
00:49:52,080 --> 00:49:54,759
Speaker 3: Everybody does, right, why don't we do hair? Hair?

1170
00:49:54,840 --> 00:49:57,080
Speaker 4: It's the same thing, and like hair is This is

1171
00:49:57,239 --> 00:50:00,239
Speaker 4: the other interesting thing that I've discovered in this they've

1172
00:50:00,280 --> 00:50:02,279
Speaker 4: been developing this brand, is like we have a lot

1173
00:50:02,320 --> 00:50:05,040
Speaker 4: of hair baggage. You know, if I tell you that

1174
00:50:05,120 --> 00:50:07,440
Speaker 4: I like your lipstick or your eyeline or whatever, you'd

1175
00:50:07,480 --> 00:50:09,000
Speaker 4: be like, oh, it's this brand and I'll send it

1176
00:50:09,000 --> 00:50:10,440
Speaker 4: to you to If I tell you I like your hair,

1177
00:50:10,480 --> 00:50:11,799
Speaker 4: you'll be like, nah, I don't know, it doesn't look

1178
00:50:11,840 --> 00:50:12,239
Speaker 4: great today.

1179
00:50:12,320 --> 00:50:15,239
Speaker 3: It's like we're so weirdly negative about our hair.

1180
00:50:15,560 --> 00:50:17,440
Speaker 4: It's like, so, why are we not doing more things

1181
00:50:17,480 --> 00:50:18,960
Speaker 4: to like preserve it and take care of it? And

1182
00:50:19,440 --> 00:50:22,240
Speaker 4: and as you probably know, when you sleep, your everything

1183
00:50:22,239 --> 00:50:24,680
Speaker 4: gets very dehydrated, which is why we put the stuff

1184
00:50:24,680 --> 00:50:26,520
Speaker 4: in our skin. And it's like, why are we not

1185
00:50:26,560 --> 00:50:29,759
Speaker 4: putting stuff in our hair? And that was my AHAs

1186
00:50:29,840 --> 00:50:31,360
Speaker 4: I was like, I do this all the time, and

1187
00:50:31,400 --> 00:50:33,279
Speaker 4: I know it's helped my hair. So I want to

1188
00:50:33,320 --> 00:50:36,120
Speaker 4: create a product that you know, it's pretty enough to

1189
00:50:36,120 --> 00:50:38,239
Speaker 4: be on your nightstand, and you know, not doesn't have to.

1190
00:50:38,239 --> 00:50:40,640
Speaker 1: Be on your I think it's so admirable that you

1191
00:50:40,640 --> 00:50:44,120
Speaker 1: you figure out what you want to need. I think

1192
00:50:44,160 --> 00:50:46,960
Speaker 1: this as an entrepreneur, this is a really good message

1193
00:50:47,040 --> 00:50:49,400
Speaker 1: to like really think about what works for you, what

1194
00:50:49,600 --> 00:50:50,719
Speaker 1: you are passionate about.

1195
00:50:50,840 --> 00:50:52,560
Speaker 4: That is like the number one piece of advice I

1196
00:50:52,600 --> 00:50:55,439
Speaker 4: give to people that I'm mentoring is like, you can

1197
00:50:55,480 --> 00:50:59,120
Speaker 4: go and try, you know, to be opportunistic because you see.

1198
00:50:58,880 --> 00:51:01,960
Speaker 3: A white space. Maybe and maybe that'll work.

1199
00:51:02,560 --> 00:51:05,320
Speaker 4: But if you come from something like with like a

1200
00:51:05,400 --> 00:51:09,040
Speaker 4: sincere love and passion and authenticity of like really following

1201
00:51:09,080 --> 00:51:12,960
Speaker 4: your own internal compass, I think that's really that's the

1202
00:51:13,000 --> 00:51:13,919
Speaker 4: businesses that work.

1203
00:51:14,120 --> 00:51:17,880
Speaker 1: That's it. Before I let you go, Alli Webb, what

1204
00:51:17,920 --> 00:51:19,520
Speaker 1: was your last I choose me moment?

1205
00:51:20,520 --> 00:51:20,719
Speaker 4: You know?

1206
00:51:20,920 --> 00:51:26,279
Speaker 3: I think, and what came up for me was you know.

1207
00:51:26,640 --> 00:51:30,520
Speaker 4: I think this has largely come out of, you know,

1208
00:51:30,680 --> 00:51:35,439
Speaker 4: the work I've done redefining myself of I'm very quick

1209
00:51:35,440 --> 00:51:41,680
Speaker 4: to give my power away as a statement to people too,

1210
00:51:42,200 --> 00:51:45,680
Speaker 4: you know, romantic relationships, my kids, my brother people I

1211
00:51:45,719 --> 00:51:50,200
Speaker 4: work with. I have this tendency to be like just

1212
00:51:50,239 --> 00:51:51,000
Speaker 4: give my power away.

1213
00:51:51,000 --> 00:51:52,720
Speaker 1: I don't know how is it like they know better

1214
00:51:52,719 --> 00:51:53,000
Speaker 1: than me?

1215
00:51:53,239 --> 00:51:54,240
Speaker 3: Or I think it's.

1216
00:51:54,080 --> 00:51:57,040
Speaker 4: Like a self abandonment.

1217
00:51:57,920 --> 00:51:59,680
Speaker 1: It goes probably back to your childhood.

1218
00:51:59,760 --> 00:52:00,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, totally.

1219
00:52:01,320 --> 00:52:05,040
Speaker 4: And it's it's you know, like we were saying before,

1220
00:52:05,080 --> 00:52:08,520
Speaker 4: it's a practice for me to choose me in a

1221
00:52:08,560 --> 00:52:11,319
Speaker 4: lot of scenarios to be like I'm gonna I'm not

1222
00:52:11,360 --> 00:52:13,960
Speaker 4: going to get my power away, and I'm also like

1223
00:52:14,960 --> 00:52:18,080
Speaker 4: totally anxious attachment and if something isn't going the way

1224
00:52:18,120 --> 00:52:18,960
Speaker 4: I wanted to go.

1225
00:52:19,080 --> 00:52:20,920
Speaker 3: I want to be like, why let's fix it. Can

1226
00:52:20,920 --> 00:52:21,400
Speaker 3: we talk about it?

1227
00:52:21,600 --> 00:52:24,960
Speaker 4: You know, I will get like that, and that is

1228
00:52:25,280 --> 00:52:27,560
Speaker 4: it's a real spiritual exercise for me to like take

1229
00:52:27,600 --> 00:52:31,120
Speaker 4: a step back and be uncomfortable. I think that's the

1230
00:52:32,360 --> 00:52:35,120
Speaker 4: that's like my thing right now is like, oh this

1231
00:52:35,280 --> 00:52:38,759
Speaker 4: fucking sucks. I hate the way I feel so uncomfortable,

1232
00:52:39,000 --> 00:52:41,160
Speaker 4: but I'm not going to do anything about it. And

1233
00:52:41,200 --> 00:52:43,960
Speaker 4: to me, that feels like taking my power back and

1234
00:52:44,040 --> 00:52:48,239
Speaker 4: choosing myself and not giving myself over to somebody and

1235
00:52:48,360 --> 00:52:51,400
Speaker 4: like the you know, the neediness and the like gripping

1236
00:52:51,480 --> 00:52:55,360
Speaker 4: and all the things that I are my my default really,

1237
00:52:55,760 --> 00:52:58,920
Speaker 4: so it's it's like, you know, taking back my power,

1238
00:52:59,080 --> 00:53:00,480
Speaker 4: I think, is how I choose myself.

1239
00:53:01,520 --> 00:53:06,040
Speaker 1: A plus, Oh God, thanks that was very meaningful and

1240
00:53:06,080 --> 00:53:08,280
Speaker 1: I know it will be inspiring to so many women.

1241
00:53:08,600 --> 00:53:09,560
Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you

1242
00:53:09,840 --> 00:53:10,840
Speaker 3: That this was so fun,