1 00:00:01,920 --> 00:00:05,359 Speaker 1: Wine Down with Janne Kramer and I Heart Radio podcast. 2 00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:11,040 Speaker 1: Hey guys, what's up. Welcome to Wine Down. Um. So 3 00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:15,920 Speaker 1: I am in Connecticut right now filming a movie, and UM, 4 00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:20,439 Speaker 1: I know a lot of stuff has recently hit the press, 5 00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:24,680 Speaker 1: and I honestly, I just want to have a fun 6 00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:29,840 Speaker 1: show today and not talk about that. Um probably when 7 00:00:29,840 --> 00:00:33,839 Speaker 1: I get back or um, yeah, I mean definitely I 8 00:00:33,880 --> 00:00:36,519 Speaker 1: want to process that. But I'm I'm still kind of 9 00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:41,120 Speaker 1: I'm still processing it all, and right now I'm excited 10 00:00:41,159 --> 00:00:44,640 Speaker 1: to just have a nice little distraction and be here. 11 00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:49,080 Speaker 1: I'm I've got gg with me today. Hello, and oh 12 00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:57,560 Speaker 1: look who just walked in extra caffee. That voice is, 13 00:00:57,600 --> 00:01:01,440 Speaker 1: of course, um, Ryan McPartland. So I am super excited 14 00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:02,640 Speaker 1: to have them on the show. And we're also going 15 00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:06,520 Speaker 1: to have Maria um zoom in with us. But it's 16 00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:11,240 Speaker 1: been really fun because I have I have gotten so 17 00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:14,800 Speaker 1: many messages about the both of you, So I'm like 18 00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:20,360 Speaker 1: super excited to just like I'm super excited to just like, 19 00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:23,840 Speaker 1: oh wow, okay, we're gonna address and I have some 20 00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:28,200 Speaker 1: people to, um, you know, ask you guys some questions 21 00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:31,160 Speaker 1: because so many people are very intrigued by both of you, 22 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:33,400 Speaker 1: and I think the first one is for gig because 23 00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:35,920 Speaker 1: people are like, is she or nanny? Is she your sister? 24 00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:39,759 Speaker 1: Is she? Like? Who is she? What are you? Who 25 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,840 Speaker 1: are you? And what are you? You know, honestly, it 26 00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:47,640 Speaker 1: depends on who you ask. If you ask Joanna, I 27 00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:52,400 Speaker 1: don't know. We're just I know it's kind of mysterious too, 28 00:01:52,440 --> 00:01:56,760 Speaker 1: but um, I don't really consider it nanny. I kind 29 00:01:56,760 --> 00:01:59,840 Speaker 1: of just hang out with the kids while Janna is 30 00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:02,480 Speaker 1: a way, but then we literally go and meet up 31 00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:04,960 Speaker 1: with Joanna. Yeah, so we hang out. And I will 32 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,600 Speaker 1: say this, like, I of all the movie sets that 33 00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:09,520 Speaker 1: I've done and had the kids on, this has been 34 00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:12,640 Speaker 1: the best experience because you're just like, I mean, you 35 00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:14,320 Speaker 1: hang out with me all day on set, and then 36 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:16,880 Speaker 1: you know, you're so good with the kids, and it's 37 00:02:16,919 --> 00:02:20,119 Speaker 1: so it's just I see them more than I've ever 38 00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:21,600 Speaker 1: seen that I'm on a movie set. Because if you 39 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:24,200 Speaker 1: actually enjoy coming to set, I think, yeah, I do. 40 00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:27,600 Speaker 1: It's really fun. It's interesting because I've never even what's 41 00:02:27,639 --> 00:02:31,320 Speaker 1: something that like you realize like, oh wow, this is 42 00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:34,160 Speaker 1: how it works. Something that hasn't haven't hasn't seen a 43 00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:38,760 Speaker 1: movie set before. Um, I didn't realize how many people 44 00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:41,799 Speaker 1: were behind the camera and how many cameras there are. 45 00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:44,680 Speaker 1: I know that sounds like so basic and simple, but 46 00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:48,600 Speaker 1: like there's a lot of moving parts. I still haven't 47 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:52,480 Speaker 1: figured it out. I mean, like, and then like, why 48 00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:55,400 Speaker 1: are they here? Were filming that one scene and we 49 00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:58,160 Speaker 1: had fake snow and whatever, and so I'm sure y'all 50 00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:00,680 Speaker 1: saw it on Joanna's Instagram story. They had tacked me 51 00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:06,080 Speaker 1: with fake snowballs, and Jason decided that he was going 52 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:10,399 Speaker 1: to throw a snowball on what he's he's a script supervisor. 53 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:14,359 Speaker 1: He's a script supervisor, and he's you know, really it's Darren. 54 00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:16,560 Speaker 1: It's a very important job, it is. And he was 55 00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:19,400 Speaker 1: like really focused and concentrated and whatever. So basically what 56 00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:21,400 Speaker 1: he does is he makes sure that Ryan is saying 57 00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:25,880 Speaker 1: the right line. It's a very hard job. He's not 58 00:03:25,919 --> 00:03:29,520 Speaker 1: always on top of it, but he's like super focused, 59 00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:34,079 Speaker 1: super concentrated. And Jay swarms up and throws a snowball 60 00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:37,920 Speaker 1: on his laptop, and this man death stares me and 61 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:41,720 Speaker 1: it's like he's just in shock, and I'm in shock too, 62 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:44,320 Speaker 1: and I start laughing and dying laughing, and I just 63 00:03:44,360 --> 00:03:46,920 Speaker 1: couldn't control it, and then he's like mad that I'm laughing, 64 00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:53,200 Speaker 1: and I'm like, I'm so sorry, and and just so 65 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:54,680 Speaker 1: you know, because a lot of people are asking too 66 00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:56,840 Speaker 1: in the comments, like how you meet g actually met her? 67 00:03:57,000 --> 00:04:02,840 Speaker 1: She was care dot com. Oh they're not. She my 68 00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:05,040 Speaker 1: friend Pamela, who you guys have heard on the podcast before. 69 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:08,120 Speaker 1: She um, she found gig And then I was like, 70 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:10,920 Speaker 1: can I please take Gigi with me to film this 71 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:12,480 Speaker 1: movie because I didn't know how long. Honestly, I was 72 00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:14,440 Speaker 1: going to have the kids up here. But it's just 73 00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:17,320 Speaker 1: going so well that Yeah, at first we were like, 74 00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:19,760 Speaker 1: we're not sure how long the Kauds they're gonna last, 75 00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:23,480 Speaker 1: but now they're they don't want to go. Um, Ryan, 76 00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:27,760 Speaker 1: So a lot of people are saying, um, is Ryan 77 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:29,760 Speaker 1: your co star? Obviously, yes, Terro my co star. Is 78 00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:32,280 Speaker 1: he's single? Because well then they go on to say 79 00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:34,960 Speaker 1: this a few certain things, um, but a lot of 80 00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:37,120 Speaker 1: them said like they're just so happy that, like you know, 81 00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:39,560 Speaker 1: like you guys are so fun together and you laugh 82 00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:41,280 Speaker 1: and you have a good time. So let's just address 83 00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:45,960 Speaker 1: that you are very happily married. Go for it, married 84 00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:57,479 Speaker 1: going on nineteen years. I want to say, um, yeah, 85 00:04:57,640 --> 00:05:02,200 Speaker 1: but you're she is not my daughter, so uh yeah, 86 00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:05,200 Speaker 1: and no, I'm very glad that I could be here 87 00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:08,480 Speaker 1: during this time and you could have this experience, this 88 00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:12,960 Speaker 1: fun experience because we're laughing so much that, um, I 89 00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:16,119 Speaker 1: feel like there are no mistakes, right, So it's really 90 00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:19,240 Speaker 1: great that man, how how many months ago did we 91 00:05:19,279 --> 00:05:22,480 Speaker 1: start this process of putting it together? And yeah, it's 92 00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:26,240 Speaker 1: pretty cool. I mean, Ryan, Um, he's how long have 93 00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:28,240 Speaker 1: you had this idea for this movie? It's a couple 94 00:05:28,279 --> 00:05:32,520 Speaker 1: of years now. Jessica adding a writer, Jessica Cusaddding. She 95 00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:34,680 Speaker 1: and I just sat down in the room and said, hey, 96 00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:37,520 Speaker 1: we want to do get her writing a Christmas movie 97 00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:41,120 Speaker 1: because she's such a great writer. And um, we just 98 00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:45,800 Speaker 1: talked about the rom coms, the romances that we both 99 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:49,360 Speaker 1: I'm kind of a sucker for her chick flicks, I've 100 00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:52,120 Speaker 1: gotta be honest. So we started talking about the Notebooks. 101 00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:55,160 Speaker 1: We don't know Alabama, I've read all of his books. 102 00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:58,159 Speaker 1: Nicholas Sparks. Yeah, did you feel like you're on the 103 00:05:58,160 --> 00:06:00,719 Speaker 1: Notebook set a little bit down by the lighthouse and 104 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:06,200 Speaker 1: just gotten in a rowboat? It was crazy? Um, And 105 00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:09,200 Speaker 1: then so yeah, we started talking about those and then 106 00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:11,120 Speaker 1: what was the other one that I don't want to 107 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:12,640 Speaker 1: give a story point away, so I'm not going to 108 00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:15,440 Speaker 1: mention this other movie. But there was a lot of 109 00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:18,760 Speaker 1: the a lot of things that we were talking about. Um, 110 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:21,040 Speaker 1: we just started going what do we like about that? 111 00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:24,839 Speaker 1: We started pulling different um things and going, now, how 112 00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:28,320 Speaker 1: do we fit that into a Christmas movie? And then 113 00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:32,280 Speaker 1: it kind of organically took shape a treatment we pitched it, 114 00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:36,800 Speaker 1: and then um, when that treatment got into Jana's hands, 115 00:06:37,279 --> 00:06:40,839 Speaker 1: that's when the magic began. No, no, no, no, but no. 116 00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:43,200 Speaker 1: I mean I remember zooming with you know you and 117 00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:46,880 Speaker 1: Jess and the producers, and it's just and at the 118 00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:50,359 Speaker 1: time I was married, and um, we just you know, 119 00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:53,320 Speaker 1: we we started like this really awesome friendship and working friendship, 120 00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:55,159 Speaker 1: and yeah, it felt like we knew each other for 121 00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:57,840 Speaker 1: a long time. Just over our first zoom. It was like, yeah, 122 00:06:57,880 --> 00:07:00,279 Speaker 1: it was like an instant like kinship. Is that the Yeah, 123 00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:03,360 Speaker 1: just like just instant like you know, um friendship. And 124 00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:07,040 Speaker 1: it's just been so crazy because you've you've been on that. 125 00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:09,680 Speaker 1: There's so much that has happened since we started. And 126 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:12,880 Speaker 1: that was like what six months ago, Yeah, probably less 127 00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:15,840 Speaker 1: than that because it was. It's been a journey, man, 128 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:19,080 Speaker 1: It's been a real journey. Because I remember getting that 129 00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:21,480 Speaker 1: text from you saying that you were you're out of 130 00:07:21,480 --> 00:07:23,640 Speaker 1: commission for a little while for the notes calls and 131 00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:26,160 Speaker 1: stuff like that that we're talking about and why, and 132 00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:30,440 Speaker 1: I was like, man, you know, I just didn't even 133 00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:32,160 Speaker 1: know if this would go forward. I didn't know if 134 00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:35,720 Speaker 1: you'd have that the the bandwidth and being the headspace 135 00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:38,680 Speaker 1: to move forward with something, you know, a romance, a 136 00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:42,920 Speaker 1: Christmas romance with some comedic elements, and I thank god 137 00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:45,600 Speaker 1: you did because I feel like, you know, during this 138 00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:50,480 Speaker 1: time when everything came together, Um, you know, it's a 139 00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:53,120 Speaker 1: little bit I would like to call myself a blessing. 140 00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:57,880 Speaker 1: I mean like you you you, like you, M G 141 00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:00,000 Speaker 1: G both have been such a blessing on this too, 142 00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:03,840 Speaker 1: because again, like you've been like there through all of it, 143 00:08:03,880 --> 00:08:05,640 Speaker 1: and like I remember calling you and just like bawling, 144 00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:07,920 Speaker 1: and you were just like like you were so you 145 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:10,600 Speaker 1: sent me you know, podcast listen to and you just 146 00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:14,240 Speaker 1: became like such a good friend. And I just to 147 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:16,600 Speaker 1: be here and then feel supported and like you're always 148 00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:18,480 Speaker 1: trying to make me laugh. I mean it's just and 149 00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:22,720 Speaker 1: then G two, you're not trying to you naturally You're like, 150 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:26,280 Speaker 1: I'm naturally funny. No, I'm not. I'm just talked too much. 151 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:30,160 Speaker 1: You'll find some laughter in there somewhere. But it's just 152 00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:33,599 Speaker 1: it's it's been really nice and I just I love um. 153 00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:37,120 Speaker 1: But Janna, it's also really impressive that you're doing this 154 00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:41,520 Speaker 1: movie and you've I mean, you're so strong, it's very 155 00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:44,760 Speaker 1: it is amazing. Like I woke up today after we're 156 00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:47,880 Speaker 1: working until five am, and I was like, oh man, 157 00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:51,120 Speaker 1: you know, I've got maybe two things on my plate today. 158 00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:54,439 Speaker 1: Maybe one of them was trying to get a workout, 159 00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:56,880 Speaker 1: and that was getting to Starbucks and that was it. 160 00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:59,520 Speaker 1: So one check one and you're like, I've already been 161 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:01,760 Speaker 1: up with kids. It's have you ready from my podcast? 162 00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:04,240 Speaker 1: You know, you just sign your papers the other day 163 00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:07,000 Speaker 1: to like, you know, seal the deal in your divorce. 164 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,640 Speaker 1: I mean, all of this stuff that you deal with 165 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:13,560 Speaker 1: is amazing and are very graceful. Yeah, that's what. Yeah, 166 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,520 Speaker 1: I mean I had a little cry fast on set, 167 00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:17,920 Speaker 1: but you know, you guys were there to you have 168 00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:20,600 Speaker 1: to feel the feelings otherwise it just feels like a 169 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:23,839 Speaker 1: normal day. That's true, but you have to go through 170 00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:28,440 Speaker 1: to be stronger on the other side, Could I just say, 171 00:09:28,440 --> 00:09:31,319 Speaker 1: though the podcast, Jamma is much nicer to me. What 172 00:09:32,679 --> 00:09:34,959 Speaker 1: are you talking about? People are gonna think I'm no 173 00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:37,440 Speaker 1: like you said on My Stories yesterday. There's a there's 174 00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:39,880 Speaker 1: a before Midnight Jannat and there's an after Midnightianna. And 175 00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:43,400 Speaker 1: they're two very different people, very different, but they're very 176 00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:51,880 Speaker 1: different because I've seen after Midnigiana like nooning. It's okay, 177 00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:57,480 Speaker 1: it's just hanger. There's a angry gry. But I will 178 00:09:57,480 --> 00:09:59,760 Speaker 1: say this, but I will say this that all you 179 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:03,160 Speaker 1: of to to do to accomplish what you accomplished in 180 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:05,559 Speaker 1: a day, you know, at some point you got to 181 00:10:05,559 --> 00:10:08,480 Speaker 1: crack the whip a little bit. I mean, I think 182 00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:10,800 Speaker 1: it's one of those things where, yeah, because there's so 183 00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:13,760 Speaker 1: much like I am, like trying to do so many 184 00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:15,360 Speaker 1: different things, and yeah, when I don't have food in 185 00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:19,280 Speaker 1: my system, you might get a little That's okay, you 186 00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:21,240 Speaker 1: know what, I get the same one here to hand 187 00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:24,720 Speaker 1: me a banana. Um, but let's take a break and 188 00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:42,320 Speaker 1: then let's get Marian. Hey Maria, Hi, Hi honey, So 189 00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:44,520 Speaker 1: we missed you last night on the on the on 190 00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:52,320 Speaker 1: the night from my back. Okay, so let's just talk 191 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:55,360 Speaker 1: about how you got on this film, because Ryan had 192 00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:59,160 Speaker 1: a really big part in. Um in basically begging you 193 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:02,240 Speaker 1: to be a part of this, for it for well, 194 00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:05,000 Speaker 1: no for me. Maria and I have known each other 195 00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:06,800 Speaker 1: for a long time and we just keep pumping into 196 00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:10,360 Speaker 1: each other at events and parties and and um, I 197 00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:12,640 Speaker 1: just love seeing her. I threw a touchdown pass. I 198 00:11:12,679 --> 00:11:14,319 Speaker 1: want to say, you might have thrown me a two 199 00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:17,280 Speaker 1: point conversion or the other way around at a at 200 00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:21,160 Speaker 1: a football event. And um, we bumped into each other 201 00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:24,120 Speaker 1: at a Christmas party two years ago and we just 202 00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:27,760 Speaker 1: started talking about her and Kevin's love for Christmas movies 203 00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:30,120 Speaker 1: and I said, you'd be perfect in one. I like, 204 00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:32,760 Speaker 1: why are you not starring in a Christmas movie? And 205 00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:36,560 Speaker 1: She's like, well, I just again another overachiever. Maria always 206 00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:38,720 Speaker 1: has so much on her plate. She's like, I haven't 207 00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:41,719 Speaker 1: really gotten into that yet. And I always kept on 208 00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:44,280 Speaker 1: in the back of my head. And then, um, after 209 00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:48,000 Speaker 1: Maria's mom passed and I actually had some time to, um, 210 00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:50,600 Speaker 1: sit down and write an email to her and just 211 00:11:50,679 --> 00:11:54,840 Speaker 1: share with her my my sympathies. Um, she just said, hey, 212 00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:57,920 Speaker 1: you know now that things are slowing down a little bit, 213 00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:01,600 Speaker 1: I might be interested in Reva sitting that conversation and 214 00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:05,319 Speaker 1: let me know if you and Jenna have any roles available. 215 00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:06,640 Speaker 1: And I said, well, I know you're not going to 216 00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:09,960 Speaker 1: take this role because you know, I thought that in 217 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:11,959 Speaker 1: my mind Maria was going to be the star of 218 00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:15,000 Speaker 1: one of these movies out of the Gates. And she said, 219 00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:17,200 Speaker 1: I'd be happy to do one of the you know, 220 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:20,560 Speaker 1: play your sister. And it is a it's a really 221 00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:23,880 Speaker 1: great role, it's big. But we just didn't, you know, know, 222 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:26,880 Speaker 1: if you'd want to play my sister. And she said yes, 223 00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:30,319 Speaker 1: and then we're off and running. And do I miss anything? Really? 224 00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:32,680 Speaker 1: I'm sure I missed a ton of little important beat 225 00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:35,840 Speaker 1: your better storyteller than I am. No, you got it. 226 00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:38,960 Speaker 1: I mean it was funny because things, you know, always 227 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:43,040 Speaker 1: line up for a reason, I think, And so um 228 00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:45,960 Speaker 1: when Ryan sent me this beautiful letter, I made a 229 00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:49,880 Speaker 1: little documentary about my parents journey through COVID. Both of 230 00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:53,240 Speaker 1: them got COVID at Thanksgiving time and both were in 231 00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:56,800 Speaker 1: separate hospitals. It was a brutal experience. I documented the 232 00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:58,520 Speaker 1: whole process and then I realized I have all this 233 00:12:58,559 --> 00:13:02,280 Speaker 1: footage because I talked, meant everything, Um, let me put 234 00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:05,400 Speaker 1: it together. So I put it together. It's called Mom Dad, 235 00:13:05,440 --> 00:13:08,120 Speaker 1: COVID and me. It's on YouTube right now. And Ryan 236 00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:12,040 Speaker 1: had seen it and send of this beautiful letter, very thoughtful, 237 00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:16,360 Speaker 1: long letter about his feelings about it, and I said, wow. 238 00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:18,120 Speaker 1: I actually had to read it a couple of times 239 00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:20,360 Speaker 1: before I could respond because it was so kind and 240 00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:24,560 Speaker 1: so thoughtful. Um. And we're going back and forth East time. 241 00:13:24,559 --> 00:13:28,079 Speaker 1: He's doing this Christmas movie and boom, all of a sudden, 242 00:13:28,320 --> 00:13:33,920 Speaker 1: I am now your best friend. Janna and Ryan's sister, 243 00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:38,280 Speaker 1: and were grateful because I have wanted to get into 244 00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:41,120 Speaker 1: this space. I love Christmas. We watch these movies Kevin 245 00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:44,160 Speaker 1: and I every year. We have so much fun. You know, 246 00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:48,280 Speaker 1: regardless of whatever is going on around us, we still 247 00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:51,600 Speaker 1: try to capture that spirit and these movies really help 248 00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:54,400 Speaker 1: with that. So we had been talking about this for 249 00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:57,120 Speaker 1: years to you know, get together and I don't know, 250 00:13:57,200 --> 00:14:01,240 Speaker 1: write something or do something. And um, it's getting very 251 00:14:01,280 --> 00:14:05,160 Speaker 1: hot by the way, bring just your bathing suits, um. 252 00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:10,240 Speaker 1: And and so yeah, it was just like a perfect opportunity. 253 00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:14,000 Speaker 1: And what was great was I needed to be back 254 00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:16,640 Speaker 1: here with my dad. My mom just passed a little 255 00:14:16,679 --> 00:14:19,600 Speaker 1: over two months ago now, and it was a great 256 00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:22,320 Speaker 1: way to be back here with him, getting to stay 257 00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:24,680 Speaker 1: here while I'm working with you guys. And I don't 258 00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:26,840 Speaker 1: even think it's work. It's literally just fun. I show 259 00:14:26,880 --> 00:14:28,920 Speaker 1: up for a few hours and play with you guys, 260 00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:32,560 Speaker 1: and and uh and that's that. So thank you guys 261 00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:36,160 Speaker 1: for having me, because um, it was it was all 262 00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:38,800 Speaker 1: meant to be. Well, Maria. I mean, you have like 263 00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:43,880 Speaker 1: your energy and you're just like overall just like when 264 00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:45,920 Speaker 1: you walk into a room, like you just you light 265 00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:48,840 Speaker 1: up and you're just and you know, you just said 266 00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:52,040 Speaker 1: that your mom. You know, we obviously know the story, 267 00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:56,560 Speaker 1: but she just passed and you still walk with such 268 00:14:56,880 --> 00:15:00,480 Speaker 1: like I'm just curious, like how how do you still 269 00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:05,240 Speaker 1: bring that infectious energy and that happiness and like how 270 00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:08,640 Speaker 1: you got there? Because it it's beautiful to see, but 271 00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:13,480 Speaker 1: it's like, man, it's like I don't I I just um, 272 00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:15,200 Speaker 1: I really look up to a lot of how you 273 00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:18,720 Speaker 1: carry yourself. Thank you, well, now you've got me crying. 274 00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:22,240 Speaker 1: Um My mom was always like that. My mom smiled 275 00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:25,480 Speaker 1: through getting diagnosed, my mom smiled through surgery, my mom 276 00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:29,320 Speaker 1: smiled through everything. So I feel like in this journey, 277 00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:33,480 Speaker 1: watching all the different stages of life with her, I 278 00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:39,880 Speaker 1: realized how so much about myself through her. And towards 279 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:41,960 Speaker 1: the end, I was like she told me, she like, 280 00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:44,080 Speaker 1: if something happens to me, I want you to always 281 00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:47,840 Speaker 1: keep smiling. And so I just try. It's it's natural. 282 00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:51,120 Speaker 1: It's not like I'm trying. But you know, I just 283 00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:52,920 Speaker 1: know we have to put one ft in front of 284 00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:54,720 Speaker 1: the other and you just got to keep on going 285 00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:59,880 Speaker 1: and you have to trust that everything is happening or 286 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,840 Speaker 1: owned you for your highest good, And this movie was 287 00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:04,520 Speaker 1: from my highest good. I got to be with great 288 00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:07,760 Speaker 1: people at a really difficult time, and you guys help 289 00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:10,880 Speaker 1: because you guys have great spirit and great energy. You're 290 00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:14,800 Speaker 1: going through so much and you're making me so impressed 291 00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:17,440 Speaker 1: with how you're handling it with kids and everything, and 292 00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:22,320 Speaker 1: so we all just do our best. Um. But you 293 00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:26,680 Speaker 1: know you can't wallow in it. You know, that's the thing, 294 00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:29,600 Speaker 1: is like life is going to happen to all of us, 295 00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:32,600 Speaker 1: so you always have to keep it in perspective. There 296 00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:36,680 Speaker 1: are so many people who have it worse. Um, And 297 00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:41,240 Speaker 1: without negating your own feelings, because that's a problem that 298 00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:42,760 Speaker 1: I think a lot of us, you know, a trap 299 00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:44,800 Speaker 1: we can all fall into as well, someone else has 300 00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:46,640 Speaker 1: it worse. So I don't deserve my feelings. No, we 301 00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:49,640 Speaker 1: deserve our feelings. Um, But it helps to have a 302 00:16:49,680 --> 00:16:52,560 Speaker 1: little perspective. Like I had my mom for sixty she 303 00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:56,640 Speaker 1: was sixty six, Yes she was young, but I had 304 00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:58,920 Speaker 1: her for forty three years. Some kids don't have their 305 00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:03,800 Speaker 1: mom passed, you know, a young age. So we just 306 00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:05,960 Speaker 1: do what we gotta do. But thank you, that's very kind. 307 00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:09,199 Speaker 1: I was gonna I was gonna say that, you know, 308 00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:14,359 Speaker 1: I didn't fully appreciate doing these movies until you hear 309 00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:18,760 Speaker 1: stories about Um. You know, people put them on at 310 00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:21,800 Speaker 1: Christmas time because Christmas can be a really Holidays can 311 00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:24,040 Speaker 1: be very hard for people, and they want to turn 312 00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:26,840 Speaker 1: to something with hope and you know, a little bit 313 00:17:26,840 --> 00:17:31,360 Speaker 1: of laughter and lightness. And the more we do them, 314 00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:34,720 Speaker 1: the more, you know, I appreciate it. But then to 315 00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:39,240 Speaker 1: actually film one with both of you when you've just 316 00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:43,359 Speaker 1: been through your own life challenges and are still going 317 00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:47,000 Speaker 1: through them, I feel like it's even hits home more 318 00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:52,840 Speaker 1: than ever about how important you know this type of experiences. Yeah, 319 00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:55,199 Speaker 1: I mean I know this Christmas we have something to 320 00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:58,439 Speaker 1: look forward to, and I definitely have thought about it. 321 00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:00,800 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh gosh, this, Chris. This might be tough 322 00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:03,920 Speaker 1: because it'll be our first without her, But we have 323 00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:05,680 Speaker 1: this and this will be fun and we'll laugh and 324 00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:07,960 Speaker 1: we'll have a screening party and I'll make cupcakes and 325 00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:11,639 Speaker 1: cocktails and make it a whole thing. So yeah, entertainment 326 00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:14,800 Speaker 1: is what makes the world go around. And I remember 327 00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:19,000 Speaker 1: when my mom was having surgery, brain surgery. I remember 328 00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:22,600 Speaker 1: how much we needed uplifting content at that time and 329 00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:26,320 Speaker 1: how much we relied on it in the hospital. And 330 00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:28,360 Speaker 1: you know all the work I've done at the children's 331 00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:32,399 Speaker 1: hospitals and the termin awards, you know that their life 332 00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:34,800 Speaker 1: is in that room, and they're lucky if they have 333 00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:37,560 Speaker 1: a view of a window to see the outside world. 334 00:18:37,680 --> 00:18:41,600 Speaker 1: That is their world is just how do we survive today? 335 00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:44,680 Speaker 1: And the way they survived today is by watching something 336 00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:47,680 Speaker 1: like this that's gonna make them smile and forget what's 337 00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:51,919 Speaker 1: going on just for that two hour period. Its beautiful. Man. 338 00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:56,600 Speaker 1: It's like we're all just we all have our you know, 339 00:18:56,680 --> 00:18:59,159 Speaker 1: we're all broken, we all have our struggles, we all 340 00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:02,600 Speaker 1: have our are things that were you know, working on 341 00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:06,119 Speaker 1: and I just I love how Maria, especially in this season, 342 00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:08,159 Speaker 1: that we're both in that we're able to you know, 343 00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:11,800 Speaker 1: have something like this to uplift us and to be 344 00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:14,560 Speaker 1: like wow, like you know this is this is good, 345 00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:16,720 Speaker 1: you know, like there's there's goodness in in some of 346 00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:19,720 Speaker 1: the broken, you know, and we got to lift each other. 347 00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:21,879 Speaker 1: And can I just go back real quick too that 348 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:27,679 Speaker 1: I just love that Kevin watches your husband Kevin because 349 00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:31,159 Speaker 1: he's such a guy's guy. You know, he's such a dude, 350 00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:34,160 Speaker 1: and I love that he's into it and I love 351 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:36,239 Speaker 1: his part. I'm not going to spoil it here, but 352 00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:38,840 Speaker 1: I love his part so much in this movie and 353 00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:42,600 Speaker 1: how it's evolved to what it is. Oh yeah, he's 354 00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:46,960 Speaker 1: so funny. Everyone has that to look forward when like, yeah, 355 00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:50,479 Speaker 1: roll Kevin's in the car, You're like, no, no, just 356 00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:52,680 Speaker 1: just the one line. I'm already having a heart attack. 357 00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:58,000 Speaker 1: The one line. It's like, I'm not like you. I 358 00:19:58,040 --> 00:19:59,760 Speaker 1: think it's I think it's this is all just a 359 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,560 Speaker 1: to full and it's like again kind of to the 360 00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:03,280 Speaker 1: point where I was saying, it's like, you know, when 361 00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:05,800 Speaker 1: you walk into your room, you were just so happy, 362 00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:09,040 Speaker 1: and it's it's like everything that you've been through and 363 00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:11,719 Speaker 1: you know currently what I'm dealing with. I'm like, wow, 364 00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:15,919 Speaker 1: like you make me want to be like happier and 365 00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:17,919 Speaker 1: and to just be like okay, like it's all going 366 00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:20,320 Speaker 1: to be okay. And it's like and you look at 367 00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:22,560 Speaker 1: and you don't know what people's inner struggles are. It's 368 00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:24,399 Speaker 1: like and I don't you know, I just asked if 369 00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:25,639 Speaker 1: it was okay for me to bring this up. But 370 00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:28,120 Speaker 1: it's like, you know, Gigi is so funny on stories 371 00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:30,280 Speaker 1: and she's hilarious, and it's like no one would know that, 372 00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:35,440 Speaker 1: Like her inner story is like her dad has Alzheimer's Alzheimer's. Yeah, 373 00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:39,000 Speaker 1: it's actually frontal temporal dementia, but Alzheimer's is like the 374 00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:42,040 Speaker 1: umbrella term. So it's like, you know she's dealing with that. 375 00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:43,920 Speaker 1: It's like you just never know like what people are, 376 00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:45,960 Speaker 1: like are you dealing with? So it's always just like 377 00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:48,200 Speaker 1: lead with love, lead with kindness, and and all it 378 00:20:48,359 --> 00:20:51,080 Speaker 1: is our hard Last year was the first Christmas without 379 00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:54,040 Speaker 1: dad home and being in the nursing home. We had 380 00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:57,800 Speaker 1: to move them into assisted living unfortunately, but actually fortunately 381 00:20:57,840 --> 00:21:01,399 Speaker 1: that we got to do that before COVID because taking 382 00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:05,560 Speaker 1: care of your parents at nineteen years old, and my 383 00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:10,920 Speaker 1: younger sister's um who are eighteen and fifteen, that that 384 00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:13,800 Speaker 1: really really changes your perspective on a lot of things. 385 00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:18,399 Speaker 1: And I actually to add some humor, unfortunately into this, 386 00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:29,840 Speaker 1: I broke into the nursing home last Christmas. So so 387 00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:33,199 Speaker 1: I was like, you know what, Um, I have to 388 00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:36,240 Speaker 1: see my dad. It's Christmas and we had been at home, 389 00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:40,400 Speaker 1: and you know, my mom, bless our heart, was trying 390 00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:42,800 Speaker 1: to make it like a good Christmas for all of 391 00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:46,879 Speaker 1: us whatever. But also, assisted living is really really expensive, 392 00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:51,840 Speaker 1: so our financial situation was not It just wasn't good. 393 00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:54,040 Speaker 1: But it was a great Christmas because of how happy 394 00:21:54,119 --> 00:21:56,280 Speaker 1: my mom was trying to make it and seeing her 395 00:21:56,359 --> 00:22:01,119 Speaker 1: hold herself together so well and just be just embodied 396 00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:05,280 Speaker 1: something so strong and beautiful was really inspiring. Um, inspiring 397 00:22:05,359 --> 00:22:10,520 Speaker 1: enough to go break into my dad's nursing So I um, 398 00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:18,160 Speaker 1: it was like nice, Donna, Donna, that's all. I mean. 399 00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:20,280 Speaker 1: He's broken into this place a few times because we 400 00:22:20,359 --> 00:22:22,760 Speaker 1: keep forgetting our key. It's so funny. I crawled around 401 00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:24,639 Speaker 1: the back patio and hop the fence and then we 402 00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:31,200 Speaker 1: don't tell other people whatever, So I, um, yeah, I'm 403 00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:34,040 Speaker 1: at the front door, and um, it's locked and it's 404 00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:37,320 Speaker 1: a sliding door, so um. I tried calling them and 405 00:22:37,359 --> 00:22:40,080 Speaker 1: no one answered, and then I was banging on the 406 00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:45,919 Speaker 1: door and still no one came. So I just and 407 00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:47,960 Speaker 1: then I saw someone sitting at the front desk and 408 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:49,560 Speaker 1: I looked at them and I was like, did you 409 00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:51,800 Speaker 1: not hear me knocking? And they were like, you're not 410 00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:53,720 Speaker 1: allowed in here? And I was like I don't care 411 00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:56,800 Speaker 1: and they were like okay, And I was like, um, 412 00:22:56,840 --> 00:22:59,719 Speaker 1: can I see my dad? And they're like no. And 413 00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:01,640 Speaker 1: I was like, well, can you bring him down here? 414 00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:05,000 Speaker 1: And they're like no. And I was like, bring my 415 00:23:05,119 --> 00:23:11,719 Speaker 1: father down here right now. And I brought him some 416 00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:14,280 Speaker 1: gifts and whatever because my sisters couldn't go. They were 417 00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:17,840 Speaker 1: just like whatever, you know, way too overwhelmed for the 418 00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:22,080 Speaker 1: first Christmas. And you know, I gave him p JS 419 00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:24,200 Speaker 1: and a bottle of wine and Dad tried to drink 420 00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:28,000 Speaker 1: the entire bottle right there. It was so sweet. It 421 00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:30,560 Speaker 1: was really funny. But it's just, you know, it's kind 422 00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:35,000 Speaker 1: of memories like that that. Yeah, it's a sad situation, 423 00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:39,480 Speaker 1: but you know what, it has brought me to a 424 00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:44,000 Speaker 1: place today where I'm stronger and more confident in myself 425 00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:46,120 Speaker 1: than I ever have been in my life. And watching 426 00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:50,880 Speaker 1: you and you Maria, um like you were wearing those 427 00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:53,240 Speaker 1: cute jeans and that white crop top and you walked 428 00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:58,400 Speaker 1: in and you were like, where I'm here, and like 429 00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:02,159 Speaker 1: that is so inspired because you know, I didn't know 430 00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:04,840 Speaker 1: your story. You didn't know mine, Janet. I think you 431 00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:08,760 Speaker 1: just not totally just found out, but you know, and 432 00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:11,080 Speaker 1: everyone has their own broken pieces, and you could be 433 00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:13,119 Speaker 1: going through the hardest thing in your life and I 434 00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:14,960 Speaker 1: could be going through the hardest thing in my life, 435 00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:20,240 Speaker 1: and they're just so incomparable, you know, like you know, 436 00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:23,440 Speaker 1: you're connected sale through like you know they might be 437 00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:25,680 Speaker 1: they might be different, but the same, you know. Yeah, 438 00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:28,280 Speaker 1: and then we all come out stronger, more beautiful, and 439 00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:31,000 Speaker 1: more united in the end. And I think that's what 440 00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:35,119 Speaker 1: really builds great friendships between all ages. It does and 441 00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:39,240 Speaker 1: g g it gives you such it's so crazy, but 442 00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:42,439 Speaker 1: it gives you such a crazy advantage at such a 443 00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:45,240 Speaker 1: young age to have an empathy level that you will 444 00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:49,600 Speaker 1: now carry into your future with everyone around you, because 445 00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:53,560 Speaker 1: you know, it's hard with you know, social media. Now 446 00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:56,320 Speaker 1: everyone's just like like like like like like there's such 447 00:24:56,320 --> 00:25:00,159 Speaker 1: a disconnection with feeling I think out there and I 448 00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:03,679 Speaker 1: think that you know, you're going to carry yourself so 449 00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:06,440 Speaker 1: much differently than maybe some of your friends, and you'll 450 00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:10,520 Speaker 1: be able to keep them during this whole experience. Um. 451 00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:17,000 Speaker 1: I deleted Snapchat because thinking about the time, not that 452 00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:18,840 Speaker 1: I could have spent with my dad, but the time 453 00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:21,159 Speaker 1: I did spend with my dad, I just wish that 454 00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:24,200 Speaker 1: we didn't even have phones because I wanted to live 455 00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:26,200 Speaker 1: in that moment and I could live in that one 456 00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:30,840 Speaker 1: moment forever. Um. I deleted Snapchat about six months ago, 457 00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:36,680 Speaker 1: and it was the best thing I ever did for myself, because, hey, 458 00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:41,400 Speaker 1: you're not constantly looking into a mirror, fixing your hair, 459 00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:44,840 Speaker 1: looking at your eye grows, You're like everything and putting 460 00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:49,600 Speaker 1: on makeup just to snapchat someone. It's ridiculous. And now 461 00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:51,920 Speaker 1: that I don't have it, when I look in the mirror, 462 00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:58,919 Speaker 1: I'm like, girl, get her own podcast. I know, I 463 00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:03,720 Speaker 1: love it over sure for her for her generation. Absolutely, Maria, 464 00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:07,440 Speaker 1: You're you're really close with with Tony because Ryan Tony 465 00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:09,639 Speaker 1: Robbins and you know, what's what's one thing that like 466 00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:14,320 Speaker 1: he's really um helped you with or has inspired you 467 00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:16,960 Speaker 1: or like something that you take from his from his 468 00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:22,280 Speaker 1: words and his whole message. Well, I will say that 469 00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:26,199 Speaker 1: when you said season earlier, it's funny, like Kevin and 470 00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:28,480 Speaker 1: I kind of will crack a joke here there. We're like, whoa, 471 00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:31,240 Speaker 1: We're in a real rainy season. There's like spots of 472 00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:34,040 Speaker 1: sun here and there, and we are very grateful for 473 00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:37,240 Speaker 1: those moments. But if I hadn't done the work with 474 00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:41,040 Speaker 1: Tony before winter kind of hit in my life, I 475 00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:42,960 Speaker 1: would not have been able to handle it the way 476 00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:47,040 Speaker 1: I did. And so going to those seminars, reading his books, 477 00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:51,440 Speaker 1: not only did I prepare myself financially with his financial books, um, 478 00:26:51,520 --> 00:26:55,040 Speaker 1: but I prepared myself, you know, emotionally and mentally with 479 00:26:55,119 --> 00:26:59,640 Speaker 1: tools that didn't exist before. And so you know, your 480 00:26:59,640 --> 00:27:02,560 Speaker 1: thrust into kind of this world and you grab whatever 481 00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:06,320 Speaker 1: you can tool wise. But you know, there's so many 482 00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:09,040 Speaker 1: that we're missing from my kid that I acquired there. 483 00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:10,919 Speaker 1: And the biggest one that I talked about on my 484 00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:16,040 Speaker 1: show and across the board is life is happening for you, 485 00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:21,520 Speaker 1: not to you, And if you can use that tool. Now, 486 00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:26,560 Speaker 1: there have been moments when I hear someone's story and 487 00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:29,000 Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, I don't think I can figure this 488 00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:31,200 Speaker 1: one out. I don't know how I apply this tool here. 489 00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:36,159 Speaker 1: It it's definitely a tool. But I always say, if 490 00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:39,240 Speaker 1: I could figure out how to make two brain tumors 491 00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:44,840 Speaker 1: before us, not to us, then it's pretty applicable for 492 00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:47,360 Speaker 1: the most part. Um. I know there are a lot 493 00:27:47,359 --> 00:27:51,280 Speaker 1: of variables, but UM, that has helped me through every 494 00:27:51,359 --> 00:27:54,600 Speaker 1: single moment. So I'm like, how something will hit? How 495 00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:58,680 Speaker 1: is this happening for us not to us? Um? And 496 00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:03,439 Speaker 1: you know, even the saddest stuff, UM, I just you know, 497 00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:05,760 Speaker 1: I use that tool. And there's so many more like 498 00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:08,719 Speaker 1: motion equals emotion, right, so if I'm sad, I go 499 00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:14,840 Speaker 1: out and move. Um. And if UM, you know there 500 00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:17,159 Speaker 1: are there are different things like that. Motion equals emotion 501 00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:19,879 Speaker 1: and focus equals feeling is another really good one. So 502 00:28:19,920 --> 00:28:22,359 Speaker 1: where we're focusing is what we're going to feel. So 503 00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:27,200 Speaker 1: if you know that focus on something good, on something positive. Right, Again, 504 00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:30,400 Speaker 1: it doesn't mean denying what's going on. It means you're 505 00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:33,280 Speaker 1: shifting because you're choosing. You have a choice on how 506 00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:35,879 Speaker 1: you want to live. You know, it's a crazy life 507 00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:38,120 Speaker 1: that we have, and I think that we have a 508 00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:42,800 Speaker 1: lot more choices than we um then we remember sometimes 509 00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:46,360 Speaker 1: and so you know, for me, I love learning and 510 00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:49,680 Speaker 1: I love growing and that's just my my greatest quest 511 00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:51,960 Speaker 1: I think in this world is to keep on learning 512 00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:55,480 Speaker 1: and keep growing. And that's why I turned my podcast 513 00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:58,440 Speaker 1: into a daily experience where I'm bringing in the best 514 00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:02,680 Speaker 1: of the best healers and experts and gurus to help 515 00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:05,240 Speaker 1: me learn more. I'm like, Okay, I want to learn 516 00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:07,360 Speaker 1: as much as I humanly can. I want to apply 517 00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:10,160 Speaker 1: as much of this and build these new muscles so 518 00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:14,560 Speaker 1: that when life hits, I can handle it. And so far, 519 00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:18,680 Speaker 1: life's hit a few times pretty hard, and I'm able 520 00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:22,400 Speaker 1: to get back up. And you know, whether it's Tony's 521 00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:26,400 Speaker 1: teachings or even like a movie like Rocky Rocky Balboa, 522 00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:28,520 Speaker 1: it ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how 523 00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:31,480 Speaker 1: hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how 524 00:29:31,560 --> 00:29:34,640 Speaker 1: much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how 525 00:29:34,680 --> 00:29:39,240 Speaker 1: winning is done. Maria, I have an important question for you. 526 00:29:39,640 --> 00:29:46,680 Speaker 1: Have you ever considered being a therapist podcast? Which is uh, 527 00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:49,480 Speaker 1: if you guys listening her podcast, listen, make sure you 528 00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:52,000 Speaker 1: listen to Better Together because it's a it's an incredible 529 00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:58,520 Speaker 1: podcast as well, I want to say something. There are 530 00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:00,880 Speaker 1: a lot of better togethers now since I started, So 531 00:30:00,920 --> 00:30:02,800 Speaker 1: it's better together with Miriam and you knows I'm on 532 00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:05,800 Speaker 1: Apple podcasts and YouTube and Spotify. But g G, I'll 533 00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:08,840 Speaker 1: tell you something really funny. I just kind of realized 534 00:30:08,840 --> 00:30:11,760 Speaker 1: that I could be one recently because my best friend 535 00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:14,360 Speaker 1: who's just a couple of years behind me in this business. 536 00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:18,320 Speaker 1: I will give him advice and then you know, he'll 537 00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:19,960 Speaker 1: catch up to it and he'll apply it. But he 538 00:30:20,040 --> 00:30:24,000 Speaker 1: has a therapist and he started to realize everything I say, 539 00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:27,280 Speaker 1: the therapist says, and I go, well, I'm keeper And 540 00:30:27,320 --> 00:30:28,960 Speaker 1: I was like, I actually took out of such a 541 00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:31,320 Speaker 1: good complim because I was like, WHOA, all right, that 542 00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:33,720 Speaker 1: means I'm leading my friend in the right ways and 543 00:30:33,720 --> 00:30:37,280 Speaker 1: I'm really grateful for that. But that's because every single 544 00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:40,520 Speaker 1: day on my show, you guys, I legit have the 545 00:30:40,560 --> 00:30:43,960 Speaker 1: best experts in the world, and that's just becoming like 546 00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:46,560 Speaker 1: through the process of osmosis. It's just in me now. 547 00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:54,760 Speaker 1: So yeah, osmosis. I go back to to what G 548 00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:57,959 Speaker 1: said earlier. One of the things I took away from 549 00:30:58,040 --> 00:31:01,480 Speaker 1: Tony's seminar, which it's very resilient to go to and 550 00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:04,120 Speaker 1: I'm glad I did. It was life changing. But it 551 00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:07,080 Speaker 1: was making a list of your values in your life, 552 00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:10,280 Speaker 1: like what you value and what and you just have 553 00:31:10,360 --> 00:31:12,440 Speaker 1: to do it as fast as you possibly can. Who 554 00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:15,640 Speaker 1: you know, who that is, what that is, And then 555 00:31:15,640 --> 00:31:17,680 Speaker 1: you make a separate list. And then he stops you 556 00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:19,840 Speaker 1: and makes you do a separate list of how you 557 00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:23,480 Speaker 1: spend your time every day, like each day and where 558 00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:27,040 Speaker 1: you put that time. And then I'll think about that 559 00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:29,920 Speaker 1: all the time, and I goes back to your snapchat conversation. 560 00:31:30,360 --> 00:31:32,960 Speaker 1: I got rid of like the paper because it was 561 00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:35,840 Speaker 1: given me anxiety all the bad news every day. I 562 00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:39,960 Speaker 1: stopped watching news period. Like I'll pick up articles and 563 00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:42,000 Speaker 1: I know what's going on in the world, but I 564 00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:45,440 Speaker 1: will not spend time in in. Social media can be 565 00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:47,360 Speaker 1: a very difficult thing. It could be used in the 566 00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:49,680 Speaker 1: way you wanted to be used, and if you're not 567 00:31:49,760 --> 00:31:51,760 Speaker 1: using it in a positive way, I'll catch myself and 568 00:31:51,760 --> 00:31:54,000 Speaker 1: I'll be like, why am I spending my time this 569 00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:57,960 Speaker 1: way right now? Instead of you know, bettering myself, We're 570 00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:01,000 Speaker 1: spending my you know, time with people I love or 571 00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:03,920 Speaker 1: care about, are checking in with them and seeing, you know, 572 00:32:04,080 --> 00:32:07,400 Speaker 1: and where you get something from it, you know, something 573 00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:11,520 Speaker 1: where you put your energy at it and it comes back. Yeah, 574 00:32:11,720 --> 00:32:14,240 Speaker 1: or even Tony. The other thing Tony toattus, which is 575 00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:17,640 Speaker 1: really cool for you guys too is And this one 576 00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:22,640 Speaker 1: I loved is write a list of everything that gives 577 00:32:22,680 --> 00:32:26,320 Speaker 1: you joy that you can access happiness at any moment 578 00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:28,920 Speaker 1: for free. So a lot of us think about like, oh, 579 00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:31,320 Speaker 1: if I go on this expensive vacation, I'm gonna feel happy. 580 00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:33,440 Speaker 1: If I go to Disney World, I'm gonna be happy. Well, 581 00:32:33,440 --> 00:32:36,600 Speaker 1: that's not always successible, and life hits like all day long, 582 00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:39,240 Speaker 1: all week long, all year long. You can't be at 583 00:32:39,280 --> 00:32:42,320 Speaker 1: Disney every day. So I made this list of what 584 00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:45,640 Speaker 1: made me happy that was easily accessible, and I kept 585 00:32:45,680 --> 00:32:48,280 Speaker 1: it on my fridge for a really long time, and 586 00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:50,200 Speaker 1: it helped me so that every time I knew I 587 00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:54,080 Speaker 1: was sad, I knew I could move. Movement gave me like, 588 00:32:54,200 --> 00:32:56,760 Speaker 1: you know, indoor fens and stuff. I love roses, So 589 00:32:56,840 --> 00:32:59,480 Speaker 1: I go walk through the neighborhood where all the old 590 00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:02,320 Speaker 1: homes that of old rose bushes that still smell because 591 00:33:02,360 --> 00:33:04,760 Speaker 1: new roses don't smell anymore. And then I go on 592 00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:06,960 Speaker 1: the sniffing tour and I'm like the psycho in the 593 00:33:06,960 --> 00:33:12,160 Speaker 1: neighborhood sniffing all my neighbor roses. Guys, she's just breaking 594 00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:15,600 Speaker 1: into the nursing comes and you're breaking into the um. 595 00:33:15,640 --> 00:33:18,360 Speaker 1: You know. Playing with my dogs gives me such joy 596 00:33:18,520 --> 00:33:20,440 Speaker 1: watching a sunset, so I was like, okay, here are 597 00:33:20,440 --> 00:33:22,920 Speaker 1: the things. And again you start to build that muscle. 598 00:33:23,640 --> 00:33:26,760 Speaker 1: So when you know you're sad, you can either wallow 599 00:33:26,800 --> 00:33:28,960 Speaker 1: in it. And sometimes there are certain times where I 600 00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:31,160 Speaker 1: think wallowed for a little bit because you need to 601 00:33:31,240 --> 00:33:32,960 Speaker 1: let it out. And then there are the times where 602 00:33:32,960 --> 00:33:35,040 Speaker 1: are like, Okay, what's gonna give me joy right now? Oh, 603 00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:37,880 Speaker 1: I can go do this very quickly and shift my energy. 604 00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:40,680 Speaker 1: Shifting is such an important tool to be able to 605 00:33:40,760 --> 00:33:45,560 Speaker 1: keep moving forward in life and keeping this sure. Well. Maria, 606 00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:47,920 Speaker 1: thank you so much for coming on, and just thank 607 00:33:47,920 --> 00:33:51,080 Speaker 1: you for you know, bringing so much joy and happiness 608 00:33:51,080 --> 00:33:53,520 Speaker 1: and your spirit to set because it would would not 609 00:33:53,600 --> 00:33:56,680 Speaker 1: be the same without you. Um. And we'll see you 610 00:33:56,720 --> 00:33:58,800 Speaker 1: in about an hour to go jump in that pool. 611 00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:01,160 Speaker 1: I love you, guys. Yes, the cool of weights. I'm 612 00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:04,720 Speaker 1: barbecuing burgers. We have a fresh salade from the garden 613 00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:09,600 Speaker 1: way over there. Uh goodness, and so yeah, I await 614 00:34:09,640 --> 00:34:12,200 Speaker 1: you all. Okay, well, we can't wait to see you. 615 00:34:12,200 --> 00:34:15,040 Speaker 1: And Maria just thank you again for just um just 616 00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:17,480 Speaker 1: being you and bringing your light and sharing that with 617 00:34:17,520 --> 00:34:22,040 Speaker 1: all of us. Thank you for it. Free therapy and 618 00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:40,360 Speaker 1: any time. Okay, bye girl. By guys, how are you doing? Hillary? 619 00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:42,080 Speaker 1: I have not talked to you in a little bit. 620 00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:45,320 Speaker 1: I'm doing really well. How are you doing. I'm good. 621 00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:48,480 Speaker 1: I mean I'm on I'm on set with UH with 622 00:34:48,560 --> 00:34:55,279 Speaker 1: my sister, my co star UM, and you know, we 623 00:34:55,280 --> 00:34:59,480 Speaker 1: we started talking about UM just kind of like stress 624 00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:03,080 Speaker 1: and UM. It's interesting because I feel like a lot 625 00:35:03,080 --> 00:35:05,200 Speaker 1: of people are stressing out right now about the new 626 00:35:05,320 --> 00:35:08,399 Speaker 1: variant and I gotta tell you, it's been. It's been. 627 00:35:10,160 --> 00:35:11,759 Speaker 1: I think I'm scared about the kids. I got an 628 00:35:11,760 --> 00:35:13,320 Speaker 1: I got an email from you know it was you 629 00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:15,799 Speaker 1: really starting kindergarten this year, and they were saying, like 630 00:35:15,880 --> 00:35:17,640 Speaker 1: mass have to come back, and I'm just like, all 631 00:35:17,680 --> 00:35:22,440 Speaker 1: of a sudden, I just felt this immediate like just wait. 632 00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:25,160 Speaker 1: I was like no, like what, like is this is 633 00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:27,680 Speaker 1: this really happening again? And like I know people are 634 00:35:27,680 --> 00:35:30,759 Speaker 1: still wearing masks in some places, but like, you know, 635 00:35:30,880 --> 00:35:35,359 Speaker 1: just the like Okay, I've got vaccinated. Are you vaccinated? Vaccinated? Yeah? 636 00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:37,839 Speaker 1: So it's like but then you know, um, I've had 637 00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:39,880 Speaker 1: a friend who has been vaccinated and she got COVID 638 00:35:39,880 --> 00:35:41,960 Speaker 1: and she was still really sick. So I'm like, is 639 00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:44,279 Speaker 1: this just like the flu? And we should be you know, 640 00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:48,600 Speaker 1: obviously maybe hopefully will be okay, But I don't know. 641 00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:50,120 Speaker 1: I'm just like stressed that, like, are we gonna get 642 00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:51,880 Speaker 1: locked down again? Is it going to be? You know, 643 00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:56,200 Speaker 1: what's help help us? It's so hard, right, I mean, 644 00:35:56,440 --> 00:36:00,200 Speaker 1: it's sort of just triggers this whole anxiety. So I goal, 645 00:36:00,239 --> 00:36:03,279 Speaker 1: it's almost like post traumatic stress. Right. We just went 646 00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:05,839 Speaker 1: through this whole thing, and then the possibility of having 647 00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:08,360 Speaker 1: to do it again, it's almost impossible not to feel 648 00:36:08,360 --> 00:36:11,239 Speaker 1: that way. I mean, I don't know the answer. Given 649 00:36:11,239 --> 00:36:14,680 Speaker 1: that I'm not a medical doctor, it seems possible that 650 00:36:14,719 --> 00:36:19,360 Speaker 1: we might have a light version of lockdown and restriction, 651 00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:22,759 Speaker 1: but from a mental health standpoint, and I was thinking 652 00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:24,920 Speaker 1: about having this conversation with you, and I was thinking 653 00:36:24,920 --> 00:36:27,960 Speaker 1: about how I'm sure some of the edicts that you've 654 00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:30,560 Speaker 1: adopted over the last months are that you sort of 655 00:36:30,600 --> 00:36:33,279 Speaker 1: have to go through the tricky feelings you know, to 656 00:36:33,360 --> 00:36:35,560 Speaker 1: get to the other side, and that if you try 657 00:36:35,560 --> 00:36:37,840 Speaker 1: to like avoid it or minimize it or suppressed it, 658 00:36:37,880 --> 00:36:40,600 Speaker 1: you get in trouble, you get like other symptoms. So 659 00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:42,719 Speaker 1: I think this is another one of those things that 660 00:36:42,760 --> 00:36:45,000 Speaker 1: it's okay to feel stressed about it, it's okay to 661 00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:47,960 Speaker 1: feel anxious about it, and even some brief about it. 662 00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:50,520 Speaker 1: That the thought that there's gonna be any limitations, especially 663 00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:52,600 Speaker 1: with our kids. And I know that's not like the 664 00:36:52,640 --> 00:36:55,160 Speaker 1: most fun message, but I think it's the one based 665 00:36:55,200 --> 00:36:59,560 Speaker 1: in the greatest reality, Like this is this is hard. Uh. 666 00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:03,000 Speaker 1: A league's friends, family members of ours are getting sick 667 00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:06,520 Speaker 1: even vaccinated, And I too, I have little kids, to 668 00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:07,840 Speaker 1: have a three and a six year old, and the 669 00:37:07,880 --> 00:37:09,919 Speaker 1: idea of them being back in an environment where there's 670 00:37:09,920 --> 00:37:12,560 Speaker 1: restrictions makes me hurt. Hurt, yeah, because like I don't 671 00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:14,520 Speaker 1: I don't want that for you know, for for her. 672 00:37:14,520 --> 00:37:17,520 Speaker 1: I don't want to have to like, you know, I 673 00:37:17,560 --> 00:37:19,560 Speaker 1: don't know, like wear a mask. So I was just like, 674 00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:22,040 Speaker 1: that's not like and I don't want them to block them, 675 00:37:22,080 --> 00:37:24,040 Speaker 1: Like is that going to cause issues for her to feel? 676 00:37:24,040 --> 00:37:25,879 Speaker 1: I mean, I see the issues that it's caused my son, 677 00:37:26,040 --> 00:37:29,279 Speaker 1: like when he was in you know, lockdown the last year. 678 00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:31,759 Speaker 1: It's like, now he's so anxious every time we leave home. 679 00:37:32,239 --> 00:37:34,360 Speaker 1: So he's always at home, home, home and likes my 680 00:37:34,400 --> 00:37:36,000 Speaker 1: heart because I'm like, that has to be from like, 681 00:37:36,040 --> 00:37:38,200 Speaker 1: because he just felt so secure at home and now 682 00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:40,520 Speaker 1: you know, we're doing things and it's like he has 683 00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:44,680 Speaker 1: anxiety about it. I've been hearing this so often from 684 00:37:44,760 --> 00:37:49,839 Speaker 1: families about kids feeling anxiety around social situations, leaving the home, 685 00:37:50,160 --> 00:37:53,200 Speaker 1: you know, sort of interacting with other people. So normal 686 00:37:53,360 --> 00:37:56,480 Speaker 1: given what we've been through, And I've been talking a 687 00:37:56,520 --> 00:37:58,520 Speaker 1: lot about what to do in the phase of that, 688 00:37:58,920 --> 00:38:01,360 Speaker 1: and I think it's so critical to sort of embrace 689 00:38:01,480 --> 00:38:03,960 Speaker 1: our kids feelings in those moments. Of course, they're super 690 00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:06,120 Speaker 1: triggering for us. We don't want our kids to feel 691 00:38:06,160 --> 00:38:08,280 Speaker 1: that way. We want our kids to feel like easy 692 00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:11,040 Speaker 1: and chill and resilient and like flexible, and when we 693 00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:13,560 Speaker 1: see that they're not, it's super triggering for us, or like, 694 00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:15,600 Speaker 1: what's wrong with them? What's wrong with me? What's going 695 00:38:15,640 --> 00:38:17,440 Speaker 1: to happen? What does this mean long term? What are 696 00:38:17,440 --> 00:38:18,839 Speaker 1: they going to look like in five years, ten years, 697 00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:22,239 Speaker 1: twenty years, And looks like we start catastrophizing. But my 698 00:38:22,320 --> 00:38:25,680 Speaker 1: big thing is to like lean into the feeling and 699 00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:28,040 Speaker 1: in that kind of situation, like with Jay's, to like 700 00:38:28,880 --> 00:38:31,800 Speaker 1: help him learn how to wait for like his ready feeling. 701 00:38:32,120 --> 00:38:34,120 Speaker 1: And I know there's some logistics that you can't get around, 702 00:38:34,160 --> 00:38:35,239 Speaker 1: like if you have to get to set, you have 703 00:38:35,280 --> 00:38:37,120 Speaker 1: to get set right, you got to leave the house right. 704 00:38:37,360 --> 00:38:40,200 Speaker 1: But if there's some circumstances in which there's some flexibility 705 00:38:40,280 --> 00:38:42,480 Speaker 1: sort of really leaning in and being like, oh, buddy, 706 00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:44,959 Speaker 1: I hear you. You're not feeling ready to leave the house. 707 00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:47,319 Speaker 1: I get it. It's been so comfy, cozy being at 708 00:38:47,360 --> 00:38:49,919 Speaker 1: home and it's tricky to leave the house now. Makes 709 00:38:49,960 --> 00:38:51,560 Speaker 1: so much sense that you feel that way, And if 710 00:38:51,560 --> 00:38:55,120 Speaker 1: you do have flexibility to sort of be like you'll 711 00:38:55,160 --> 00:38:56,960 Speaker 1: you'll know when your body is ready. Why don't we 712 00:38:56,960 --> 00:38:59,040 Speaker 1: wait for your ready feeling? You let me know sort 713 00:38:59,040 --> 00:39:01,879 Speaker 1: of thing. The more we lean in, the more they 714 00:39:01,880 --> 00:39:05,440 Speaker 1: can clean out. When we try to like talk them 715 00:39:05,440 --> 00:39:09,520 Speaker 1: out o their feelings or resist resist it, um, they 716 00:39:09,560 --> 00:39:12,760 Speaker 1: feel alone and scared and sort of isolated with the feeling, 717 00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:14,640 Speaker 1: like why can't I just push it away? What is 718 00:39:14,640 --> 00:39:17,479 Speaker 1: the big deal? We're just going to the grocery store right, 719 00:39:17,560 --> 00:39:19,840 Speaker 1: and so really leaning in makes such a big difference 720 00:39:19,840 --> 00:39:21,920 Speaker 1: of our kids, and I would argue shortens the like 721 00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:28,239 Speaker 1: intensity and duration of the anxious state. I have a question, um, 722 00:39:28,280 --> 00:39:31,680 Speaker 1: you know the way the algorithms work now when you 723 00:39:31,719 --> 00:39:36,279 Speaker 1: search anything up, like you know how how effective the 724 00:39:36,360 --> 00:39:39,960 Speaker 1: vaccine is or if the vaccine can hurt you or 725 00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:44,880 Speaker 1: your children, it feels like every site will feed you 726 00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:49,200 Speaker 1: more of those articles that may not be you know, 727 00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:52,279 Speaker 1: the overall. It may be a very small statistic, but 728 00:39:52,320 --> 00:39:54,520 Speaker 1: you're gonna see it all the time in your face. 729 00:39:55,120 --> 00:39:57,719 Speaker 1: You know, the every article that you know somebody who 730 00:39:57,719 --> 00:40:01,200 Speaker 1: got the vaccine and now you know has some sort 731 00:40:01,239 --> 00:40:04,520 Speaker 1: of complication will be popping up in your feed. My 732 00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:08,719 Speaker 1: question is do you give advice on how to manage that? 733 00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:12,360 Speaker 1: I mean not technically speaking but on the internet side, 734 00:40:12,400 --> 00:40:15,400 Speaker 1: but but how to like opt out of that and 735 00:40:15,440 --> 00:40:18,880 Speaker 1: to find real information or something that can soothe your 736 00:40:18,880 --> 00:40:23,120 Speaker 1: anxiety as an overall or a place to go to 737 00:40:23,239 --> 00:40:26,600 Speaker 1: calm yourself. That's what makes everything feel so suffocating. It's 738 00:40:26,640 --> 00:40:31,480 Speaker 1: like everywhere you go, that's the topic. That's what's posted everywhere. 739 00:40:31,480 --> 00:40:33,680 Speaker 1: And I think it's good to talk about it and 740 00:40:33,920 --> 00:40:36,520 Speaker 1: you know, weed out what to do and what not 741 00:40:36,719 --> 00:40:38,840 Speaker 1: to do. And I think it's probably a lot of 742 00:40:38,880 --> 00:40:42,120 Speaker 1: the misinformation is also probably why people aren't getting the vaccine, 743 00:40:42,160 --> 00:40:45,320 Speaker 1: and this is becoming such a much bigger problem. So 744 00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:49,960 Speaker 1: so I guess like, yeah, what's the to feel? Um? 745 00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:54,080 Speaker 1: To feel not? So? How when you're looking at something? 746 00:40:54,160 --> 00:40:58,799 Speaker 1: How do you not feel immediate anxiety just wave over you? Yeah, 747 00:40:58,840 --> 00:41:01,279 Speaker 1: so I started to answers to that. I think like 748 00:41:01,320 --> 00:41:06,040 Speaker 1: the more practical response to that is to step out 749 00:41:06,080 --> 00:41:09,919 Speaker 1: of the social media context exclusively and to find more 750 00:41:09,960 --> 00:41:14,480 Speaker 1: objective sources of data, like the economists or the Washington Post. Right. 751 00:41:14,560 --> 00:41:17,080 Speaker 1: We really have to do that quite deliberately, you know 752 00:41:17,120 --> 00:41:18,840 Speaker 1: that we're not just listening like seeing that, we're not 753 00:41:18,880 --> 00:41:20,640 Speaker 1: just listening to Fox and tend to be you know, 754 00:41:20,719 --> 00:41:24,719 Speaker 1: biased on one side, but really actively seeking out information 755 00:41:24,840 --> 00:41:28,680 Speaker 1: like empirical studies that are out there and objective data points. 756 00:41:28,680 --> 00:41:30,840 Speaker 1: It's critical and so hard to do to kind of 757 00:41:30,880 --> 00:41:36,520 Speaker 1: pull ourselves from the um cycle of like Instagram, Facebook 758 00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:42,280 Speaker 1: news that feels really um compelling and hard to step 759 00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:44,319 Speaker 1: out of. Right, there's like a way in which it's 760 00:41:44,400 --> 00:41:48,360 Speaker 1: just addictive and it's fear and consumption like they want you. 761 00:41:48,440 --> 00:41:50,399 Speaker 1: The more afraid you are, the more you're gonna look, 762 00:41:50,520 --> 00:41:52,840 Speaker 1: and they'll feed you as much as possible, and it 763 00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:57,279 Speaker 1: increases anxiety, and it's a cycle. Like you said, that's right, 764 00:41:57,320 --> 00:41:59,880 Speaker 1: So you really have to actively adopt a sense of 765 00:42:00,200 --> 00:42:02,919 Speaker 1: agency that you're going to take this on yourself, which 766 00:42:02,960 --> 00:42:05,000 Speaker 1: is really hard to do when you're talking about something 767 00:42:05,040 --> 00:42:07,719 Speaker 1: that so such an addictive cycle. But if people are 768 00:42:07,719 --> 00:42:10,600 Speaker 1: listening and thinking about it, to really like literally step 769 00:42:10,600 --> 00:42:12,920 Speaker 1: away physically and make it a point, make it a 770 00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:14,920 Speaker 1: mission that that like, this is my narrative, this is 771 00:42:14,960 --> 00:42:17,400 Speaker 1: my journey, is my set of decisions, and like where 772 00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:20,799 Speaker 1: can I seek arguably more objective data points to arm 773 00:42:20,880 --> 00:42:23,880 Speaker 1: myself with information and make decisions? And how would be 774 00:42:24,360 --> 00:42:26,960 Speaker 1: really deliberate about that social media piece. So there's like 775 00:42:27,040 --> 00:42:30,080 Speaker 1: a way in which it feels like it's like, um, 776 00:42:30,719 --> 00:42:33,319 Speaker 1: like your your favorite worst feeling, you know what I mean, 777 00:42:33,520 --> 00:42:36,360 Speaker 1: you like digest It's like it's like it's like terrible 778 00:42:36,360 --> 00:42:38,759 Speaker 1: pla ben a you can't step away kind of thing, 779 00:42:39,000 --> 00:42:42,720 Speaker 1: but really forcing yourself to step away from that cycle 780 00:42:43,320 --> 00:42:45,640 Speaker 1: and um, both you got that information I was talking about, 781 00:42:45,640 --> 00:42:48,520 Speaker 1: but take like a respite from some from being in 782 00:42:48,520 --> 00:42:52,240 Speaker 1: that environment which feels so heightened and feels so like, um, 783 00:42:52,400 --> 00:42:55,520 Speaker 1: you know, there's sort of a claustrophobic field away. Yeah 784 00:42:55,760 --> 00:43:00,320 Speaker 1: that's true. Um, I have so many other questions, but 785 00:43:00,400 --> 00:43:03,480 Speaker 1: I don't think I'm ready to get on that side 786 00:43:03,520 --> 00:43:05,600 Speaker 1: of it yet. Um So can I have you back 787 00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:11,359 Speaker 1: on in like a few weeks? Yes, of course? Okay, perfect? Um, 788 00:43:12,120 --> 00:43:14,279 Speaker 1: I thank you for for coming on and just um 789 00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:17,760 Speaker 1: uh answering a few of those and um, what what's 790 00:43:17,800 --> 00:43:19,560 Speaker 1: the best thing just to kind of leave people with 791 00:43:19,760 --> 00:43:23,960 Speaker 1: when they're starting to feel uneasy in anything that they're 792 00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:31,800 Speaker 1: dealing with, whether divorced or you know, perfect, ye, you're like. 793 00:43:31,960 --> 00:43:36,520 Speaker 1: The message is always around the notion that suppression leads 794 00:43:36,640 --> 00:43:40,080 Speaker 1: to pain, and so if we suppressed, ignor just miss 795 00:43:40,200 --> 00:43:44,160 Speaker 1: avoid our feelings, it always sends up showing up as 796 00:43:44,239 --> 00:43:50,120 Speaker 1: symptoms irritability, you know, difficult sleeping, anxiety, depression, etcetera. It 797 00:43:50,320 --> 00:43:52,799 Speaker 1: will come up some other ways. So whether we're getting 798 00:43:52,840 --> 00:43:55,880 Speaker 1: messages from other people to like you got this doesn't 799 00:43:56,080 --> 00:43:58,400 Speaker 1: hurt you, will make you stronger, or like, you know, 800 00:43:58,480 --> 00:44:00,239 Speaker 1: the idea that like you should be over you should 801 00:44:00,239 --> 00:44:02,640 Speaker 1: be moving on from ourselves that like I shouldn't feel 802 00:44:02,680 --> 00:44:05,319 Speaker 1: this way. It is so critical to like carve out 803 00:44:05,400 --> 00:44:08,120 Speaker 1: space to allow those feelings to come up and out 804 00:44:08,200 --> 00:44:11,320 Speaker 1: in a safe environment, and that might include you know, 805 00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:15,680 Speaker 1: our friends or family members or professional resources like myself 806 00:44:16,239 --> 00:44:18,680 Speaker 1: for sure. Well, thank you so much. I appreciate you, 807 00:44:18,760 --> 00:44:21,880 Speaker 1: and I'll talk to you a weeks. Thank you all right, 808 00:44:22,160 --> 00:44:27,080 Speaker 1: thank you love well, guys, I appreciate you coming on 809 00:44:27,160 --> 00:44:31,560 Speaker 1: the show. Do you guys have fun? You like to 810 00:44:31,600 --> 00:44:35,360 Speaker 1: tell stories? Ryan? You know so quiet? I was during this. 811 00:44:35,520 --> 00:44:38,279 Speaker 1: It was actually like, you know how you like me 812 00:44:38,480 --> 00:44:42,759 Speaker 1: as this version? I like you as this I was like, 813 00:44:43,120 --> 00:44:46,600 Speaker 1: whatever you do? You're on with all these very strong women. 814 00:44:46,719 --> 00:44:52,759 Speaker 1: Don't trying man? Explain anything? Don't trying man? Why is 815 00:44:52,800 --> 00:44:54,839 Speaker 1: it a thing? Well, it's just guys like to give 816 00:44:54,880 --> 00:45:01,440 Speaker 1: their opinion about everything and you But here's here's my 817 00:45:01,560 --> 00:45:03,640 Speaker 1: question to that though. I just like, real quick now, 818 00:45:03,680 --> 00:45:05,920 Speaker 1: I'm like, now that we're there, okay, you want to 819 00:45:05,960 --> 00:45:08,279 Speaker 1: give your opinion. But also why do why do men 820 00:45:08,400 --> 00:45:10,719 Speaker 1: think that we just always want to be right? Because 821 00:45:10,760 --> 00:45:13,279 Speaker 1: I've gotten into a few things where women you did 822 00:45:13,320 --> 00:45:16,680 Speaker 1: your right? Yeah, well we usually are right. It's right. 823 00:45:17,160 --> 00:45:20,440 Speaker 1: It's ob girl, you know, are you telling me that 824 00:45:21,280 --> 00:45:23,800 Speaker 1: you think that I've heard before. It's like, do you 825 00:45:23,880 --> 00:45:26,200 Speaker 1: just want me to agree with you that someone says 826 00:45:26,200 --> 00:45:27,399 Speaker 1: it to me? And I'm like no, I'm like, I'm 827 00:45:27,440 --> 00:45:29,279 Speaker 1: just saying, like, this is just my point of view, 828 00:45:29,320 --> 00:45:30,719 Speaker 1: and I'm not trying to I'm really trying not to 829 00:45:30,800 --> 00:45:34,879 Speaker 1: push it on you. But this is just like I'm right, Well, 830 00:45:35,239 --> 00:45:39,120 Speaker 1: we're in this whole you know, Um, we're very much 831 00:45:39,200 --> 00:45:43,320 Speaker 1: more woke than we've ever been woke. Yeah, And so 832 00:45:44,600 --> 00:45:49,279 Speaker 1: you know, as far as you know, the shift from 833 00:45:50,440 --> 00:45:52,920 Speaker 1: the man I see, I'm not going to try and 834 00:45:53,000 --> 00:46:00,640 Speaker 1: many because I don't man playing away why men, Well, 835 00:46:00,680 --> 00:46:04,080 Speaker 1: I think it's just always been a thing where guys 836 00:46:04,120 --> 00:46:06,640 Speaker 1: will just share their opinion and just assume they're right, 837 00:46:06,760 --> 00:46:11,080 Speaker 1: because that's how it was for so many years in 838 00:46:11,200 --> 00:46:15,360 Speaker 1: the history of time. You know dramatic. No, I did not. 839 00:46:15,600 --> 00:46:18,880 Speaker 1: I'm just saying that they would go from there, man, 840 00:46:19,239 --> 00:46:22,040 Speaker 1: there books about this. Men are from Mars, women are 841 00:46:22,080 --> 00:46:24,120 Speaker 1: from Venus. Like you guys are too young for that, 842 00:46:24,680 --> 00:46:26,960 Speaker 1: remember that. But I remember that whole thing of like 843 00:46:27,080 --> 00:46:29,760 Speaker 1: trying to figure out how men communicate differently than women. 844 00:46:30,040 --> 00:46:32,160 Speaker 1: And I think it comes down to that of like 845 00:46:33,400 --> 00:46:37,560 Speaker 1: you know, we're hunters are we were hunters and women 846 00:46:37,640 --> 00:46:40,640 Speaker 1: were gatherers in a way, and there's probably some sort 847 00:46:40,719 --> 00:46:45,080 Speaker 1: of testosterone filled I want to say what this is 848 00:46:45,480 --> 00:46:48,680 Speaker 1: and move on to the next thing, and you know, 849 00:46:48,960 --> 00:46:51,600 Speaker 1: I would feel like women would want to explore more 850 00:46:51,920 --> 00:46:54,279 Speaker 1: of what does that mean and where we I like 851 00:46:54,400 --> 00:46:56,520 Speaker 1: to understand it. That's why it's like I was talking 852 00:46:56,520 --> 00:46:58,239 Speaker 1: to some I was like, help me understand that, because 853 00:46:58,280 --> 00:47:00,640 Speaker 1: I just like, because it helps, and that's like my 854 00:47:00,920 --> 00:47:04,680 Speaker 1: favorite is but like, you know, because I want to 855 00:47:04,800 --> 00:47:06,480 Speaker 1: understand it, you know what I mean. And I'm not 856 00:47:06,600 --> 00:47:08,400 Speaker 1: I'm really truly not trying to be right. I just 857 00:47:08,480 --> 00:47:10,919 Speaker 1: would like to understand also your point of view. It's 858 00:47:10,920 --> 00:47:14,560 Speaker 1: also like not trying to be sassy. It's just like, what, like, 859 00:47:15,640 --> 00:47:21,400 Speaker 1: help me understand you. You know. It's funny because I 860 00:47:22,160 --> 00:47:26,239 Speaker 1: studied communications in college and really I feel like yeah, 861 00:47:26,440 --> 00:47:28,760 Speaker 1: and I feel like, you know, one of my favorite 862 00:47:29,080 --> 00:47:31,840 Speaker 1: of courses I took was family communication, which also applies 863 00:47:31,880 --> 00:47:36,799 Speaker 1: to this. And the best listeners the only thing they 864 00:47:36,840 --> 00:47:39,279 Speaker 1: do is repeat back to you what you say. So 865 00:47:39,600 --> 00:47:41,279 Speaker 1: if you were to say something to me and I 866 00:47:41,400 --> 00:47:43,040 Speaker 1: just repeat it back to you, then you go yeah, 867 00:47:43,080 --> 00:47:46,279 Speaker 1: and you explain it more, and then you walk away going. Man, 868 00:47:46,400 --> 00:47:49,560 Speaker 1: Ryan's a really good conversationalist. You know, I love talking 869 00:47:49,640 --> 00:47:52,719 Speaker 1: to him. When all I did was just like, keep 870 00:47:52,760 --> 00:47:56,879 Speaker 1: you talking that, Well, men don't usually do that. Men 871 00:47:56,920 --> 00:48:00,120 Speaker 1: don't usually listen like that. Oh my gosh, you just 872 00:48:00,160 --> 00:48:04,000 Speaker 1: admitted that men don't listen like that. You know, like 873 00:48:04,200 --> 00:48:06,719 Speaker 1: that is that is something that like men usually just 874 00:48:06,840 --> 00:48:09,839 Speaker 1: go Okay, I'm going to say, what's happening. Women are 875 00:48:09,920 --> 00:48:18,120 Speaker 1: genuinely generally better? Absolutely, yeah, absolutely sure, just because there's yea, 876 00:48:18,560 --> 00:48:22,000 Speaker 1: because there's you guys, hear layers and then just hear 877 00:48:22,040 --> 00:48:26,960 Speaker 1: what's being set onions. All right, we're going to dissect 878 00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:29,239 Speaker 1: this onion another day. Um. I love you guys, Thanks 879 00:48:29,280 --> 00:48:32,239 Speaker 1: for coming on. Thank you for being just really a 880 00:48:32,360 --> 00:48:34,600 Speaker 1: blessing in my life. I love you, And thanks for 881 00:48:34,960 --> 00:48:38,680 Speaker 1: well yeah, thanks for letting me into your life and 882 00:48:39,760 --> 00:48:43,880 Speaker 1: mentoring me. And I've always wanted an older sister, so 883 00:48:44,719 --> 00:48:48,800 Speaker 1: that one. Thanks for choosing our project. Of course I was. 884 00:48:48,960 --> 00:48:50,960 Speaker 1: I was safer to work with you and oh my god, 885 00:48:50,960 --> 00:48:53,400 Speaker 1: we'd even talk about Chuck. But you're going to come 886 00:48:53,400 --> 00:48:55,680 Speaker 1: back on after we do. Can I come back? Yeah? 887 00:48:55,680 --> 00:48:58,319 Speaker 1: Of course? I mean this is the thing now we're 888 00:48:58,320 --> 00:49:03,480 Speaker 1: taking on the road. Started tour alright, guys, um chat 889 00:49:03,560 --> 00:49:05,040 Speaker 1: next week. Bye b