1 00:00:05,800 --> 00:00:09,000 Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome back to the Psychology of Your Twenties, 2 00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:11,680 Speaker 1: the podcast where we talk through some of the big 3 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:15,200 Speaker 1: life changes and transitions of our twenties and what they 4 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:24,120 Speaker 1: mean for our psychology. Hello everybody, welcome back, Welcome back 5 00:00:24,239 --> 00:00:29,000 Speaker 1: to another episode of the Psychology of Your Twenties. New listeners, 6 00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:32,680 Speaker 1: old listeners. It's so great to have you here, So 7 00:00:32,760 --> 00:00:36,280 Speaker 1: great to have you here for this super exciting topic 8 00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:39,479 Speaker 1: that I am so pumped to talk about today, and 9 00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:45,519 Speaker 1: that is the psychology of New Year's resolutions. There was 10 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:49,240 Speaker 1: no better time to talk about this than now. Twenty 11 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:52,800 Speaker 1: twenty three is right around the corner. Maybe you're listening 12 00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:55,920 Speaker 1: to this in the month of January. The new year 13 00:00:55,960 --> 00:01:00,160 Speaker 1: has just started, and with that, many of us and 14 00:01:00,280 --> 00:01:05,480 Speaker 1: to make some pretty big promises or goals for ourselves 15 00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:08,800 Speaker 1: for the new year for twenty twenty three, which I 16 00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:13,800 Speaker 1: think is honestly incredible, a great idea. I think that 17 00:01:13,880 --> 00:01:18,759 Speaker 1: New Year's resolutions are a really kind of positive thing 18 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:21,960 Speaker 1: to reflect on and to set for ourselves as we 19 00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:25,480 Speaker 1: enter into a new chapter. You know, they're all about 20 00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:30,119 Speaker 1: self improvement and agency and growth, which I think also 21 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:33,200 Speaker 1: really embodies this show. So I'm a big fan and 22 00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:36,720 Speaker 1: if you are setting New Year's resolutions this year, I 23 00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:39,360 Speaker 1: want you to succeed. So today we are going to 24 00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:44,320 Speaker 1: break down the history and also the psychology behind New 25 00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:48,520 Speaker 1: Year's resolutions, why it is that we set them, to 26 00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:53,320 Speaker 1: begin with, why they often fail, but also what we 27 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:57,680 Speaker 1: can learn from our failures and the failure of New 28 00:01:57,760 --> 00:02:01,800 Speaker 1: Year's resolutions so that we can succeed, so that we 29 00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:06,840 Speaker 1: can see our New Year's resolutions through. Essentially, what I 30 00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:11,640 Speaker 1: really want to understand and explain in today's episode is 31 00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:15,440 Speaker 1: what it is that determines the success of a New 32 00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:20,440 Speaker 1: Year's resolution. There is so much fascinating research behind this, 33 00:02:20,639 --> 00:02:25,920 Speaker 1: so many interesting concepts like Roman philosophy, self efficacy and 34 00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:30,800 Speaker 1: self improvement theory, even a discussion of social norms, and 35 00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:34,079 Speaker 1: so much more. So I am so excited to kind 36 00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:37,840 Speaker 1: of jump into this first episode of the New Year series, 37 00:02:37,919 --> 00:02:41,799 Speaker 1: perhaps the first episode of twenty twenty three. It's going 38 00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:44,040 Speaker 1: to be an amazing year, and what a great way 39 00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:47,320 Speaker 1: to kick it off with a discussion about New Year's resolutions. 40 00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:51,320 Speaker 1: So let's get into it and learn all that there 41 00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:55,799 Speaker 1: is to know about New Year's resolutions and hopefully learn 42 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:58,200 Speaker 1: how we can apply some of the theory some of 43 00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:02,000 Speaker 1: the psychology to our own goals so that we can 44 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:10,200 Speaker 1: be successful at the end of the day. So, of course, 45 00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:14,160 Speaker 1: as we always do at the beginning of each episode, 46 00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:17,960 Speaker 1: we want to break down some of the history behind 47 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:22,280 Speaker 1: New Year's resolutions and get our basics down pat before 48 00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:27,320 Speaker 1: jumping into the psychology and the explanations behind why this concept, 49 00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:30,840 Speaker 1: this idea of making promises to ourselves at the beginning 50 00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:33,600 Speaker 1: of the new year, why it even exists. So the 51 00:03:33,639 --> 00:03:38,040 Speaker 1: origin of making New Year's resolutions, it rests with the Babylonians. 52 00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:40,839 Speaker 1: For those of you who do not know who these 53 00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:43,600 Speaker 1: people are, I didn't know who they were, but they 54 00:03:43,680 --> 00:03:47,800 Speaker 1: were an ancient group of people who lived in present 55 00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:51,280 Speaker 1: day Iraq from I think like two thousand to four 56 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:56,400 Speaker 1: hundred b c. And many historians trace the beginnings and 57 00:03:56,440 --> 00:03:59,800 Speaker 1: the existence of New Year's resolutions back to this group. 58 00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:05,840 Speaker 1: So these people would reportedly make promises to the gods 59 00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:08,040 Speaker 1: in hopes that they would earn good favor in the 60 00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:11,720 Speaker 1: coming year. So, for example, they might make a promise 61 00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:15,360 Speaker 1: that they're going to have the most successful harvest they've 62 00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:18,279 Speaker 1: ever seen, or be a really good partner or a 63 00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:22,320 Speaker 1: really good husband or wife, and by succeeding in that 64 00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:27,719 Speaker 1: by fulfilling that goal, that ambition, they almost demonstrated to 65 00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:29,960 Speaker 1: the gods that they were true to their word, that 66 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:33,480 Speaker 1: they were had integrity, that they were good people, and 67 00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:36,760 Speaker 1: as a result they would receive good favor good karma 68 00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:42,080 Speaker 1: from these same gods. Although I don't think that we 69 00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:45,400 Speaker 1: make our modern day resolutions to the gods per se, 70 00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:49,760 Speaker 1: the new year is still and obviously a very important 71 00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:54,600 Speaker 1: and somewhat spiritual time that represents so many things, but 72 00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:59,440 Speaker 1: mostly new beginnings, the future, or a new chapter in 73 00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:05,480 Speaker 1: our lives. Interestingly, this is I think a very common meaning. 74 00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:09,120 Speaker 1: It's applied across different cultures. The month of January is 75 00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:13,080 Speaker 1: actually named after the god Janus, who was the god 76 00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:15,800 Speaker 1: of new beginnings, So we can see that there is 77 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:19,200 Speaker 1: this reverence placed on the new year throughout many cultures 78 00:05:19,279 --> 00:05:24,520 Speaker 1: and throughout many time periods. I think as humans we 79 00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:29,839 Speaker 1: really crave the comfort of meaning and tradition, and the 80 00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:32,279 Speaker 1: new year is able to bring both of these things 81 00:05:32,279 --> 00:05:36,800 Speaker 1: and offer somewhat of a dedicated time for reflection and 82 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:41,240 Speaker 1: contemplation of what we want from this new period of 83 00:05:41,279 --> 00:05:44,719 Speaker 1: our lives. And you know, it often involves a pretty 84 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:48,160 Speaker 1: big celebration as well, you know, fireworks, champagne and all 85 00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:51,080 Speaker 1: of that. But more than that, I think it provides 86 00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:58,600 Speaker 1: a dedicated time for looking back, feeling grateful, nostalgic, and 87 00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:02,080 Speaker 1: perhaps also thinking about what it is about our lives 88 00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:05,800 Speaker 1: that may be missing, something where we feel we may 89 00:06:05,839 --> 00:06:11,320 Speaker 1: be lacking or dissatisfied, where we can improve, whilst also 90 00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:14,479 Speaker 1: being hopeful for the future and invest it in the 91 00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:19,120 Speaker 1: ways that we can better ourselves. We tend to set 92 00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:22,640 Speaker 1: resolutions at this time of the year because the New 93 00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:26,279 Speaker 1: Year in particular serves us this cyclical marker of time 94 00:06:26,839 --> 00:06:31,240 Speaker 1: during which we can reevaluate and take inventory on our lives, 95 00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:35,560 Speaker 1: and the drive for making resolutions is very much motivated 96 00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:40,240 Speaker 1: by this punctuation in time, which activates our hopes and 97 00:06:40,279 --> 00:06:44,080 Speaker 1: our expectations for what we want to achieve going forward. 98 00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:47,800 Speaker 1: So this psychologist, her name is doctor Strongen. She had 99 00:06:47,839 --> 00:06:50,400 Speaker 1: a really good explanation for this that I thought would 100 00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:53,200 Speaker 1: be super relevant when we're talking about why it is 101 00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:56,480 Speaker 1: that the new year really sparks this desire to change 102 00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:59,360 Speaker 1: up our lives, and she says that the New Year 103 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:02,240 Speaker 1: what it does is gives us kind of a sense 104 00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:05,599 Speaker 1: of renewal and It causes us to think about areas 105 00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:08,919 Speaker 1: in our lives where we want to improve. And this 106 00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:12,840 Speaker 1: kind of distinct start of a new chapter of a 107 00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:15,320 Speaker 1: new year, you know, the clock kind of ticks over 108 00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:18,720 Speaker 1: into a new calendar. It feels like a natural time 109 00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:21,920 Speaker 1: to make this change. There is really no better time 110 00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:24,760 Speaker 1: than the beginning of a new year. And I think 111 00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:29,400 Speaker 1: this is the marvel and also the significance of a 112 00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:33,520 Speaker 1: new year for making massive changes to our everyday lives 113 00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:39,040 Speaker 1: and I guess our overall lifestyle. When we think of 114 00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:43,960 Speaker 1: New Year's resolutions, I think a few typical categories or 115 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:48,120 Speaker 1: examples often come to mind, and there's actually been research 116 00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:51,920 Speaker 1: on this on these very categories, these common categories that 117 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:56,680 Speaker 1: we see. So this woman, Kaitlin Woolley from Cornell, she 118 00:07:56,760 --> 00:08:00,720 Speaker 1: did some research into New Year's resolutions and she wanted 119 00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:04,240 Speaker 1: to find out what were the most common types of resolutions. 120 00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:08,520 Speaker 1: I don't think this is a surprise to anyone, but 121 00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:11,520 Speaker 1: the majority, overwhelmingly. I think it was as high as 122 00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:16,240 Speaker 1: like fifty five fifty six percent of resolutions were health related, 123 00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:21,720 Speaker 1: so wanting to exercise more, eat healthy, lose weight. Those 124 00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:26,760 Speaker 1: were by far the most common New Year's resolutions. Reported. 125 00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:32,000 Speaker 1: Then we have work related and financial related kind of 126 00:08:32,040 --> 00:08:35,240 Speaker 1: resolutions at about thirty five percent, So a lot of 127 00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:38,000 Speaker 1: people reported that they are going into the new year 128 00:08:38,040 --> 00:08:42,040 Speaker 1: wanting to save money, get out of debt, get organized 129 00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:45,600 Speaker 1: by a house, these kind of financial and work related 130 00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:49,480 Speaker 1: ambitions that they have. And then we also have these 131 00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:53,200 Speaker 1: social goals. These accounted for about five to ten percent overall. 132 00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:57,720 Speaker 1: You know, goals like spending more time with family, making 133 00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:01,320 Speaker 1: more friends, making time for romance, going on dates, meeting 134 00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:05,400 Speaker 1: a partner. These were also a pretty big category of 135 00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:09,240 Speaker 1: New Year's resolutions. I don't think I was surprised at 136 00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:13,680 Speaker 1: all to hear how many resolutions or goals we make 137 00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:15,360 Speaker 1: at the start of the new year have to do 138 00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:20,200 Speaker 1: with our physical health and our physical appearance, mainly just 139 00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:22,600 Speaker 1: because I think it is a huge source of just 140 00:09:22,679 --> 00:09:27,280 Speaker 1: general insecurity for many of us, for many many people, 141 00:09:27,840 --> 00:09:30,760 Speaker 1: and these goals can be super varied, but they're often 142 00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:34,880 Speaker 1: focused on things like feeling better in our bodies, maybe 143 00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:37,840 Speaker 1: being able to accomplish a certain physical feit like a 144 00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:41,520 Speaker 1: half marathon. Sometimes they have a lot to do with 145 00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:44,840 Speaker 1: our eating and our diet, but of course also on 146 00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:48,880 Speaker 1: how we look. Fitness is obviously a part of this, 147 00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:51,080 Speaker 1: but I definitely have a bit of a bone to 148 00:09:51,160 --> 00:09:55,360 Speaker 1: pick with goals that are focused on weight loss, just 149 00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:59,360 Speaker 1: because I actually think they're really hard to achieve, especially 150 00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:01,400 Speaker 1: with the pressure and the hype of a new year. 151 00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:05,040 Speaker 1: We get so excited about this. We imagine how we're 152 00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:07,280 Speaker 1: going to look, you know, what it's going to feel like. 153 00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:11,480 Speaker 1: We don't understand the investment that it sometimes takes. And 154 00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:16,360 Speaker 1: I've been seeing New Year's resolutions about weight loss everywhere 155 00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:19,600 Speaker 1: all over my TikTok right now, and it's kind of 156 00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:23,240 Speaker 1: what inspired me to do this episode because I began 157 00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:28,160 Speaker 1: thinking about my own New Year's expectations or goals for 158 00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:32,120 Speaker 1: twenty twenty three, and I can honestly say, I think 159 00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:36,440 Speaker 1: this is the first year that my New Year's resolutions 160 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:41,480 Speaker 1: are not focused on what I look like or you know, 161 00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:44,480 Speaker 1: my body, which is like so shocking to me. I 162 00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:47,000 Speaker 1: think that they have been focused on that for as 163 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:49,960 Speaker 1: long as I can remember. There's no shame if that 164 00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:52,560 Speaker 1: is your New Year's resolution. You know, it's your body, 165 00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:55,880 Speaker 1: it's your choice. As long as you're going into it 166 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:59,520 Speaker 1: with a healthy and sustainable mindset, go for it. It's 167 00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:02,520 Speaker 1: honestly your life and if that's going to make you happier, 168 00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:06,280 Speaker 1: that's fantastic that you have, you know, decided to focus 169 00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:09,240 Speaker 1: on that for your health and as an element of 170 00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:11,760 Speaker 1: your health for twenty twenty three. But I think there 171 00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:15,240 Speaker 1: are other health goals as well that are perhaps more 172 00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:18,840 Speaker 1: achievable and I would say more holistic. You know, maybe 173 00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:21,680 Speaker 1: your New Year's resolution is to stop drinking or to 174 00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:25,520 Speaker 1: drink less. That's one of mine next year. I really, 175 00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:28,920 Speaker 1: I honestly do not have the time to be hungover 176 00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:32,240 Speaker 1: as much as I was last year, and I just 177 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:34,200 Speaker 1: kind of want to cut back. So that's one of 178 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:38,000 Speaker 1: my news resolutions. Another one I see quite often is 179 00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:41,160 Speaker 1: to like walk ten thousand steps a day. I think 180 00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:44,160 Speaker 1: these are like that one in particular, that ten thousand 181 00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:47,680 Speaker 1: step one is a lot more achievable than setting some 182 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:52,120 Speaker 1: obscure weight loss goal because it's achievable, it can be 183 00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:56,280 Speaker 1: integrated into your life, and it affects so much more 184 00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:58,840 Speaker 1: than just you know, the number on a scale. It 185 00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:02,520 Speaker 1: affects the time we spent outdoors, it affects how we 186 00:12:02,559 --> 00:12:06,680 Speaker 1: feel in our body, it affects our cardiovascular health. So 187 00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:10,800 Speaker 1: I think it's a much more well rounded goal. Another 188 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:15,320 Speaker 1: big category that, obviously I'm a huge fan of is 189 00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:19,160 Speaker 1: the mental health resolutions, the mental health goals. These are 190 00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:22,840 Speaker 1: mainly focused on our emotional wellbeing and the things that 191 00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:25,960 Speaker 1: we can do to shift our mindset and our mental perspective. 192 00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:29,120 Speaker 1: You know, there are the normal ones, like going to therapy, 193 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:35,560 Speaker 1: trying to perhaps prioritize your boundaries and your space, but 194 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:38,120 Speaker 1: there are some others that I think are fantastic, like 195 00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:44,600 Speaker 1: reducing your screen time. Our exposure to social media and 196 00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:50,080 Speaker 1: to just the Internet and screens in general can have 197 00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:53,679 Speaker 1: such a strange and nuanced effect on our mental health. 198 00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:58,200 Speaker 1: So I think reducing screen time is such a fantastic 199 00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:02,120 Speaker 1: goal if that is your priority, reading more, that's an 200 00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:06,080 Speaker 1: amazing one, it's highly achievable. And another one I saw 201 00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:08,480 Speaker 1: was to get at least twenty minutes of sun or 202 00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:12,200 Speaker 1: outdoors time a day. That is such an amazing New 203 00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:15,800 Speaker 1: Year's resolution. Honestly, it's so easy to integrate into our lives, 204 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:19,920 Speaker 1: especially if you live somewhere like Australia, where you know 205 00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:23,880 Speaker 1: the weather is sometimes bad but in general most of 206 00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:27,679 Speaker 1: the time bearable. And it also allows us to incorporate 207 00:13:28,320 --> 00:13:30,880 Speaker 1: many of the health benefits of being in nature. So 208 00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:33,640 Speaker 1: I think that if that is something you want to 209 00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:37,560 Speaker 1: focus on, what an amazing goal. A couple others, just 210 00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:40,200 Speaker 1: to briefly mention, we talked about financial goals, you know, 211 00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:43,080 Speaker 1: saving for a particular reason, maybe you want to buy 212 00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:45,320 Speaker 1: a house or go on a big trip. And then 213 00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:47,920 Speaker 1: there are some other like niche goals and achievements like 214 00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:51,320 Speaker 1: I don't know, wanting to climb everest, or to knit 215 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:55,440 Speaker 1: fifty mini jackets for your cats, start a business, start 216 00:13:55,520 --> 00:14:00,679 Speaker 1: a podcast. That one sounds pretty familiar, and these kind 217 00:14:00,679 --> 00:14:03,160 Speaker 1: of goals are often super unique and I would say 218 00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:07,199 Speaker 1: not shared by many people, which at times, on one hand, 219 00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:11,080 Speaker 1: I think can make it harder to form community, but 220 00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:14,800 Speaker 1: it also makes it so much more worthwhile because fewer 221 00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:18,800 Speaker 1: people have that goal and achieving it is going to 222 00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:23,240 Speaker 1: be so much more sweet and such an amazing feeling. 223 00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:28,400 Speaker 1: Obviously this is not an exhaustive list. I honestly think 224 00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:33,240 Speaker 1: that any facet of our lives where we're perhaps not 225 00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:36,600 Speaker 1: quite satisfied or fulfilled or would like to do better, 226 00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:42,080 Speaker 1: can be made into a goal. And sometimes the significance 227 00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:44,880 Speaker 1: of a new year, of a new leaf and new chapter, 228 00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:48,680 Speaker 1: but also the explicit kind of start date and point 229 00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:52,160 Speaker 1: from which to track our progress can be a huge 230 00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:58,160 Speaker 1: enabler of our success. But let's now tackle the psychology 231 00:14:58,320 --> 00:15:03,480 Speaker 1: behind how we can and create realistic years resolutions and 232 00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:07,240 Speaker 1: almost offer a bit of an equation for success so 233 00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:10,800 Speaker 1: that we can start twenty twenty three with the best 234 00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:20,240 Speaker 1: versions of ourselves in mind. So we have explained some 235 00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:25,520 Speaker 1: of the history, the categories, the traditions behind New Year's resolutions, 236 00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:30,600 Speaker 1: But now to the psychology. What is it about the 237 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:35,640 Speaker 1: new year that causes us to have these elaborate and 238 00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:41,080 Speaker 1: grand expectations for ourselves to set these resolutions. I think 239 00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:45,720 Speaker 1: as humans we are naturally and innately very attuned to 240 00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:49,600 Speaker 1: self improvement. It is very much part of our complexity 241 00:15:49,640 --> 00:15:52,880 Speaker 1: and a unique aspect of our species that we have 242 00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:56,280 Speaker 1: this capacity to consider the future and ourselves within it, 243 00:15:56,800 --> 00:16:00,960 Speaker 1: and with that we tend to imagine versions of ourselves 244 00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:04,520 Speaker 1: that do not yet exist, ones that might be better. 245 00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:10,960 Speaker 1: Because of this unique ability, we're able to set goals 246 00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:15,800 Speaker 1: and objectives that lead to better versions of ourselves. That 247 00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:20,440 Speaker 1: is the premise of New Year's resolutions. The idea, though 248 00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:23,400 Speaker 1: of a New Year's resolution, it tends to rest on 249 00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:30,000 Speaker 1: three fairly important psychological concepts. The first being personal development, 250 00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:34,680 Speaker 1: the second being self efficacy, and finally the idea of 251 00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:41,320 Speaker 1: social norms personal development. It's all about looking inward and 252 00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:45,520 Speaker 1: focusing on the ways to better yourself. It's so obvious 253 00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:49,600 Speaker 1: how that has a relationship to New Year's resolutions, but 254 00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:54,400 Speaker 1: essentially this focus allows us to increase our self awareness, 255 00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:58,720 Speaker 1: our self esteem, and to fulfill future aspirations that we 256 00:16:58,760 --> 00:17:02,520 Speaker 1: may have for our lives. When we make a New 257 00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:07,040 Speaker 1: Year's resolution, whatever it may be, we are channeling our 258 00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:11,960 Speaker 1: personal development and our focus on personal growth, and kind 259 00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:14,399 Speaker 1: of channeling that in a way that allows us to 260 00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:19,520 Speaker 1: be productive and to live a more fulfilled than satisfying life. 261 00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:25,639 Speaker 1: Without this ability or the skills to reflect inwards and upwards, 262 00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:30,840 Speaker 1: we can remain fairly stagnant and unsatisfied with our lives, 263 00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:33,800 Speaker 1: which is why the new year is such an important 264 00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:37,080 Speaker 1: time to make certain promises to ourselves, because they are 265 00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:40,520 Speaker 1: focused on improving our lives in order to enhance the 266 00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:45,119 Speaker 1: overall quality. So even if we don't fully realize our goals, 267 00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:48,200 Speaker 1: the very act I think of just reflecting on where 268 00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:50,760 Speaker 1: we want to improve, where we want to be putting 269 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:55,679 Speaker 1: energy towards that is so valuable because not only does 270 00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:58,640 Speaker 1: it mean that we have a sense of the future 271 00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:01,480 Speaker 1: and a sense of meaning, but we also have a 272 00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:05,920 Speaker 1: desire to be better, which is in itself a very 273 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:11,720 Speaker 1: inherently valuable idea to have. The second psychological concept that 274 00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:15,159 Speaker 1: I think is perhaps even more important to consider in 275 00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:19,520 Speaker 1: the context of New Year's resolutions is self efficacy. So 276 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:24,040 Speaker 1: self efficacy is at the very core, perhaps the central 277 00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:30,000 Speaker 1: pillar to establishing goals for ourselves in the new year. Essentially, 278 00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:35,360 Speaker 1: it refers to our belief in our capacity to execute 279 00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:40,879 Speaker 1: the behaviors necessary to produce specific outcomes. So, just to 280 00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:44,000 Speaker 1: break that down a little bit more, it essentially encompasses 281 00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:51,080 Speaker 1: our confidence that our behavior and our actions will be 282 00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:55,000 Speaker 1: able to exert an influence over our environment and over 283 00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:59,400 Speaker 1: our future, so that we can achieve our goals. Without 284 00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:03,879 Speaker 1: self efficacy, without this belief in our ability to alter 285 00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:08,520 Speaker 1: our lives, the idea of a New Year's resolution, it 286 00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:13,199 Speaker 1: literally wouldn't exist. It wouldn't be anything but wishful thinking. 287 00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:16,800 Speaker 1: That is what distinguishes the New Year's resolution from just, 288 00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:20,800 Speaker 1: you know, a fantasy. It's that acknowledgment that what we 289 00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:25,120 Speaker 1: want for our lives will require our effort, and therefore 290 00:19:25,119 --> 00:19:29,760 Speaker 1: this belief that our actions, our behaviors will actually have 291 00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:33,080 Speaker 1: some influence over whether or not we achieve a certain goal. 292 00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:37,560 Speaker 1: You know, without self efficacy, why would why would we 293 00:19:37,560 --> 00:19:41,120 Speaker 1: even try? There's no point trying. I think virtually all 294 00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:46,600 Speaker 1: people can identify some form of goal that they have. However, 295 00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:49,040 Speaker 1: they think. Where we go wrong is that most of 296 00:19:49,119 --> 00:19:53,240 Speaker 1: us don't always think about the fact that putting these 297 00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:57,360 Speaker 1: plans into action isn't as simple as we think, and 298 00:19:57,400 --> 00:20:01,480 Speaker 1: self efficacy is going to play a major role and 299 00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:05,119 Speaker 1: how we approach this goal and how we approach this challenge. 300 00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:10,160 Speaker 1: You know, people with stronger self efficacy, they often recover 301 00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:14,080 Speaker 1: really quickly from setbacks. They make a plan, they view 302 00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:18,480 Speaker 1: problems as something to be mastered, and they really are 303 00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:21,920 Speaker 1: a lot more invested in their goals and they're invested 304 00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:25,159 Speaker 1: in the activities that they are required to do to 305 00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:30,120 Speaker 1: achieve these goals. In contrast, we see people who have 306 00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:35,439 Speaker 1: lower or weaker self efficacy tend to really avoid some 307 00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:39,760 Speaker 1: of the challenging tasks and behaviors that are required. They 308 00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:42,879 Speaker 1: focus a lot on the potential of failure and on 309 00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:47,360 Speaker 1: the negative outcomes, and they quickly lose confidence in their 310 00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:53,480 Speaker 1: personal abilities. Right like they don't feel confident that they 311 00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:56,960 Speaker 1: have the agency, they have the strength, they have the 312 00:20:57,080 --> 00:21:03,159 Speaker 1: skills necessary to achieve their goal. Obviously, if you have 313 00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:06,880 Speaker 1: set an ambitious New Year's resolution, whatever it may be, 314 00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:10,439 Speaker 1: a strong sense of self efficacy is going to be 315 00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:15,399 Speaker 1: a great asset to achieving this goal. And importantly, self 316 00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:18,840 Speaker 1: efficacy it's not something you're born with, right, It's actually 317 00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:23,399 Speaker 1: something that you can develop and train within yourself. And 318 00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:26,280 Speaker 1: there are a few ways to do that. Firstly, by 319 00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:33,440 Speaker 1: celebrating your successes, by really consciously recognizing instances in which 320 00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:36,480 Speaker 1: you have been able to influence your destiny or change 321 00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:42,080 Speaker 1: an outcome, modeling and observing the behaviors and stories of others, 322 00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:45,879 Speaker 1: having those positive role models or mentors to kind of 323 00:21:46,359 --> 00:21:50,080 Speaker 1: show you that this is possible. And another way is 324 00:21:50,119 --> 00:21:55,400 Speaker 1: to seek out positive feedback and positive affirmations. Obviously, when 325 00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:59,520 Speaker 1: you hear positive feedback from others, that can really help 326 00:21:59,560 --> 00:22:03,560 Speaker 1: improve your sense of self efficacy, and not only that, 327 00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:07,400 Speaker 1: but your sense that you are actually achieving your goal, 328 00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:10,879 Speaker 1: that it is recognizable from the perspective of other people. 329 00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:14,720 Speaker 1: You know, if your therapist tells you that you're doing 330 00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:19,080 Speaker 1: a really good job at prioritizing your mental health. That's 331 00:22:19,119 --> 00:22:24,440 Speaker 1: setting boundaries. That's going to be so encouraging and it's 332 00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:29,120 Speaker 1: going to make you want to keep going. But in contrast, 333 00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:33,480 Speaker 1: and on the other hand, negative feedback negative comments can 334 00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:38,840 Speaker 1: also have a pretty powerful undermining effect. So be conscious 335 00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:42,639 Speaker 1: about who you share your goals and ambitions with. I 336 00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:47,840 Speaker 1: don't think there is anything more demoralizing than someone telling 337 00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:50,040 Speaker 1: you that what you're doing is not worth it, or 338 00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:53,520 Speaker 1: that you're going to fail. It's such a terrible, terrible feeling. 339 00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:56,800 Speaker 1: So if you want to succeed, you have to create 340 00:22:56,840 --> 00:23:02,159 Speaker 1: a supportive environment that contains people who really believe in 341 00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:06,919 Speaker 1: your abilities and they believe in your success. Finally, making 342 00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:10,160 Speaker 1: a New Year's resolution, it's somewhat of a social norm 343 00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:13,720 Speaker 1: these days, right, like a social norm being these kind 344 00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:17,840 Speaker 1: of informal rules or expectations that we have. It's very 345 00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:21,760 Speaker 1: much influenced by what we see other people doing. It 346 00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:26,399 Speaker 1: gets to December early January and people start talking about 347 00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:30,200 Speaker 1: their New Year's resolutions, and we feel like we should 348 00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:33,280 Speaker 1: probably have a few of our own. This is not 349 00:23:33,359 --> 00:23:35,600 Speaker 1: a bad thing at all. In fact, I think it's 350 00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:38,160 Speaker 1: one of the more positive social norms that we've discussed 351 00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:41,439 Speaker 1: on the show, because, as we said, the primary reason 352 00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:43,720 Speaker 1: for setting this kind of goal at the start of 353 00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:48,120 Speaker 1: the year is for self growth, So as long as 354 00:23:48,119 --> 00:23:51,359 Speaker 1: we're not harming anyone, they seem to be overall a 355 00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:56,200 Speaker 1: pretty positive thing. Well at least that's what we think 356 00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:59,159 Speaker 1: is the case. But it might actually be that New 357 00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:04,119 Speaker 1: Year's resolutions are neither positive or negative, especially when we 358 00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:07,240 Speaker 1: consider how many of us and how many of our 359 00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:12,360 Speaker 1: resolutions end up failing. And that is what I want 360 00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:17,000 Speaker 1: to discuss next. Why is it that so many of 361 00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:21,359 Speaker 1: our ambitions for the new year end up being forgotten 362 00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:31,040 Speaker 1: by the second or third week of January. Every year, 363 00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:36,080 Speaker 1: in early January, millions and millions of us resolve to 364 00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:40,280 Speaker 1: change something about our lives, change something about our behavior, 365 00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:43,760 Speaker 1: whether it is to get really fit, to eat better, 366 00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:48,040 Speaker 1: to save money, spend more time with our friends, whatever 367 00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:51,640 Speaker 1: it is, there is no denying that most of us 368 00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:54,879 Speaker 1: have something in mind that we want to change in 369 00:24:54,960 --> 00:25:00,159 Speaker 1: twenty twenty three. Here is the sad reality though for 370 00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:04,199 Speaker 1: most of us, these New Year's resolutions are going to 371 00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:07,480 Speaker 1: fall by the wayside within a few weeks. The best 372 00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:11,080 Speaker 1: example I think of this of the early failure of 373 00:25:11,119 --> 00:25:15,280 Speaker 1: many resolutions is thinking about how busy your gym is 374 00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:19,400 Speaker 1: in the first weeks of January, yet by February they're 375 00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:23,199 Speaker 1: normally back to usual. That's because we often get wrapped 376 00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:26,720 Speaker 1: up in the excitement of setting the resolution, of imagining 377 00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:30,400 Speaker 1: the outcome without realizing how much commitment it can take. 378 00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:36,480 Speaker 1: The easiest step to making a year's resolution is telling 379 00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:39,600 Speaker 1: yourself that you're going to do it. Is making that 380 00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:44,159 Speaker 1: promise and imagining the success, imagining your future body, or 381 00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:49,720 Speaker 1: your future financial situation, or your amazing life, especially in 382 00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:53,439 Speaker 1: that moment before we actually have to do some of 383 00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:58,960 Speaker 1: the work. It is very easy to fantasize, but for 384 00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:02,159 Speaker 1: anyone who's actually set a new year's resolution, it's a 385 00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:05,959 Speaker 1: lot harder to actually achieve that goal because it requires 386 00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:11,040 Speaker 1: often a lot of tedious and persistent work. I don't 387 00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:13,600 Speaker 1: really think it's even a goal right if it's easy 388 00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:16,640 Speaker 1: to achieve. That's part of the allure of New Year's 389 00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:21,240 Speaker 1: resolutions is that they are really large and grand and significant, 390 00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:25,560 Speaker 1: and they require that significance of the new year in 391 00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:29,520 Speaker 1: order to begin. There are quite a few reasons they 392 00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:31,879 Speaker 1: want to discuss as to why it's so difficult to 393 00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:37,080 Speaker 1: stick to our new year's resolutions, and many of these 394 00:26:37,119 --> 00:26:44,520 Speaker 1: explanations have some pretty fascinating psychology attached. Firstly, a large 395 00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:48,600 Speaker 1: amount of our daily behaviors tend to be motivated by 396 00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:53,879 Speaker 1: what we see as unconscious and automatic habits that have 397 00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:57,480 Speaker 1: in many ways been ingrained in us since our childhood, 398 00:26:57,520 --> 00:27:03,000 Speaker 1: since our teenage years. We unconsciously reach for the same 399 00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:05,639 Speaker 1: types of food, we wake up at the same time, 400 00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:09,359 Speaker 1: we see this same people, We use the same forms 401 00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:14,600 Speaker 1: of transport because these actions and these behaviors have become 402 00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:18,920 Speaker 1: so habitual, and it makes it really difficult to change. 403 00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:23,399 Speaker 1: And over time, these repetitive ways of behaving tend to 404 00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:28,400 Speaker 1: become very much automatically queued by the situations that we're in, 405 00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:34,439 Speaker 1: and they're completely independent from our deliberate thought processes. So 406 00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:36,760 Speaker 1: much of what we do on a day to day 407 00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:42,000 Speaker 1: basis we do without thinking. When we set a news resolution, though, 408 00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:46,560 Speaker 1: that is a very deliberate, a very conscious action, a 409 00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:51,480 Speaker 1: very conscious thought, and it can be really difficult to 410 00:27:51,560 --> 00:27:55,040 Speaker 1: integrate this conscious and deliberate thing we want to achieve 411 00:27:55,680 --> 00:27:59,240 Speaker 1: into our daily lives, and into our daily lives that 412 00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:04,719 Speaker 1: are filled with automatic behaviors and unconscious habits because they 413 00:28:04,760 --> 00:28:07,639 Speaker 1: are so hard to integrate. And because a lot of 414 00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:14,040 Speaker 1: our resolutions often require almost rewriting or rewiring our automatic behaviors, 415 00:28:14,680 --> 00:28:19,880 Speaker 1: it takes a lot of conscious energy to uphold these resolutions, 416 00:28:20,359 --> 00:28:25,400 Speaker 1: which is why they often fail. This explains why achieving 417 00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:29,280 Speaker 1: our New Year's resolutions it's not just about pure determination. 418 00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:32,959 Speaker 1: It's not just about how much you want it. The 419 00:28:33,040 --> 00:28:38,040 Speaker 1: act of achieving any goal requires a lot of intense, 420 00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:45,000 Speaker 1: concentrated energy, and more than that, it requires rewriting unconscious 421 00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:49,440 Speaker 1: behaviors you've probably followed for years and years and years. 422 00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:53,400 Speaker 1: Often we don't really map out or think about what 423 00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:56,680 Speaker 1: it's going to take to accomplish a goal, and instead 424 00:28:56,680 --> 00:28:59,520 Speaker 1: we rely very much so on that excitement of the 425 00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:02,280 Speaker 1: new year as the thing that's going to push us 426 00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:06,560 Speaker 1: to accomplish this goal. This buzz, this excitement, this expectation, 427 00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:10,840 Speaker 1: and then that buzz wears off, or maybe you realize 428 00:29:10,880 --> 00:29:15,440 Speaker 1: that actually you set a few unrealistic expectations for yourself. 429 00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:19,479 Speaker 1: For example, you know, if you've decided that twenty twenty 430 00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:23,480 Speaker 1: three you're going to run a marathon, and you've bought 431 00:29:23,520 --> 00:29:28,320 Speaker 1: tickets for a race in April, it's highly unlikely that 432 00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:31,040 Speaker 1: you're going to do that. You really set yourself up 433 00:29:31,040 --> 00:29:36,080 Speaker 1: to fail because you haven't been honest or realistic with yourself. 434 00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:44,840 Speaker 1: The cycle of making and subsequently breaking resolutions, it boils 435 00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:49,160 Speaker 1: down to one core issue or concept, and that is honesty. 436 00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:53,280 Speaker 1: Being honest with yourself about what it is you want, 437 00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:57,280 Speaker 1: why you want to achieve it, and how achievable it is. 438 00:29:58,400 --> 00:30:01,680 Speaker 1: So before you set your alution for twenty twenty three, 439 00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:06,480 Speaker 1: it's really important to ask yourself some of those core 440 00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:10,760 Speaker 1: questions and be honest with yourself in answering them. Why 441 00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:14,600 Speaker 1: is it that this goal is important to you and 442 00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:18,680 Speaker 1: how do you imagine it's going to make your life better? 443 00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:25,120 Speaker 1: Really really think about that. Is the outcome of your resolution? 444 00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:28,440 Speaker 1: Is it going to be enough to motivate you to 445 00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:31,479 Speaker 1: do the things that you need to do, and is 446 00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:37,160 Speaker 1: that final end goal something that is achievable? Honestly, It's 447 00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:40,320 Speaker 1: also important to reflect on the times when you've tried 448 00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:43,480 Speaker 1: in the past to achieve this thing or to pursue 449 00:30:43,520 --> 00:30:47,160 Speaker 1: this change and what went wrong. You know, maybe last 450 00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:49,840 Speaker 1: year you wanted to wake up at seven am every day, 451 00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:52,320 Speaker 1: but you didn't think about the fact that you work 452 00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:54,400 Speaker 1: a nine to five, or that a lot of your 453 00:30:54,440 --> 00:30:58,840 Speaker 1: socializing happens in the evening. So think about why you failed. 454 00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:01,400 Speaker 1: Think about what it wo was about your environment, about 455 00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:04,880 Speaker 1: your surroundings that made it difficult to accomplish this goal. 456 00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:08,640 Speaker 1: We often, you know, set lofty goals for the future 457 00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:13,720 Speaker 1: without seriously and honestly assessing why we've probably struggled in 458 00:31:13,760 --> 00:31:17,600 Speaker 1: the past, and without examining where we are resistant to change. 459 00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:21,640 Speaker 1: That cycle of that, you know, that psycle of excitement 460 00:31:21,720 --> 00:31:26,240 Speaker 1: and resolve and then failure continues to repeat. It's also 461 00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:29,080 Speaker 1: really important to be honest about what else is going 462 00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:32,480 Speaker 1: to have to change in your life to meet your 463 00:31:32,520 --> 00:31:36,040 Speaker 1: goal and to meet your resolution. We often think about 464 00:31:36,040 --> 00:31:39,840 Speaker 1: our New Year's resolutions as a pretty isolated desire or 465 00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:44,479 Speaker 1: an isolated dream, without recognizing the lifestyle change that they 466 00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:47,840 Speaker 1: are going to require. The one I always think of 467 00:31:48,520 --> 00:31:51,240 Speaker 1: is the new Year's resolution to quit drinking. And that's 468 00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:54,800 Speaker 1: one of mine for this year, quitting you know, to 469 00:31:54,920 --> 00:31:59,960 Speaker 1: quit drinking, quitting alcohol. It sounds simple enough, right you know, 470 00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:04,080 Speaker 1: you just say no, you just don't drink. And when 471 00:32:04,120 --> 00:32:06,440 Speaker 1: you think about it on an individual basis, when you're 472 00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:10,360 Speaker 1: home by yourself, it sounds pretty achievable, right, Like, it 473 00:32:10,480 --> 00:32:14,640 Speaker 1: sounds fairly simple, but then you have to think about 474 00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:17,600 Speaker 1: it in terms of the other contexts in our lives 475 00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:20,960 Speaker 1: in which alcohol is present and how much it tends 476 00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:25,760 Speaker 1: to dominate social occasions and celebrations. Are you going to 477 00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:29,600 Speaker 1: be okay with not drinking during these times or maybe 478 00:32:29,640 --> 00:32:33,120 Speaker 1: missing out because of this choice? And are you going 479 00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:35,840 Speaker 1: to be able to make the changes to your overall 480 00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:42,040 Speaker 1: lifestyle to enact this goal. By asking ourselves these questions 481 00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:46,360 Speaker 1: and also answering them honestly, we're actually setting ourselves up 482 00:32:46,400 --> 00:32:51,240 Speaker 1: for success because we can alter our resolutions and be 483 00:32:51,400 --> 00:32:54,480 Speaker 1: more realistic from the get go, and therefore more likely 484 00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:58,400 Speaker 1: to succeed. There are, of course, some other reasons why 485 00:32:58,440 --> 00:33:03,360 Speaker 1: we typically fail our news for sos. Just to list 486 00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:06,840 Speaker 1: off a couple, Sometimes we just lack accountability. You know, 487 00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:09,560 Speaker 1: it's very easy to fail if the only person you're 488 00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:14,040 Speaker 1: going to disappoint is yourself. Sometimes our goal doesn't allow 489 00:33:14,120 --> 00:33:16,640 Speaker 1: for small wins, so we give up because we don't 490 00:33:16,640 --> 00:33:20,760 Speaker 1: see any progress. Maybe it is a lack of planning, 491 00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:25,000 Speaker 1: or the stakes are just too low, And sometimes it's 492 00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:28,200 Speaker 1: just about self doubt and not believing that we're able 493 00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:30,760 Speaker 1: to do them. We're not able to achieve what we 494 00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:34,280 Speaker 1: set our minds to With all of that in mind, 495 00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:37,200 Speaker 1: I really want to turn to our final point for 496 00:33:37,240 --> 00:33:42,800 Speaker 1: this episode, and perhaps the most significant, how can we 497 00:33:42,880 --> 00:33:46,880 Speaker 1: actually be successful with all of this information and knowledge 498 00:33:46,920 --> 00:33:51,360 Speaker 1: in mind? What can we learn from our failures so 499 00:33:51,440 --> 00:33:54,880 Speaker 1: that we can see through our resolutions we can make 500 00:33:54,960 --> 00:33:58,520 Speaker 1: the change that we want to in our lives. Luckily 501 00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:01,160 Speaker 1: for us, there is quite a lot of research on this, 502 00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:05,600 Speaker 1: and so I've gathered a few tips for us to 503 00:34:05,680 --> 00:34:11,160 Speaker 1: all share and to hopefully learn from. Firstly, start small. 504 00:34:12,160 --> 00:34:16,319 Speaker 1: Creating smaller goals that are practical and don't restrict you 505 00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:19,719 Speaker 1: too much is going to be so much more achievable 506 00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:23,279 Speaker 1: because those goals and the actions required to meet them 507 00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:26,040 Speaker 1: are not going to disrupt your life as much. Think 508 00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:29,040 Speaker 1: about all of those automatic behaviors that we were talking 509 00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:33,239 Speaker 1: about before. Undermining them and rewriting them takes a lot 510 00:34:33,239 --> 00:34:36,000 Speaker 1: of effort. But if we start out small, you know, 511 00:34:36,120 --> 00:34:39,880 Speaker 1: maybe by initially trying to exercise just for five minutes 512 00:34:39,960 --> 00:34:43,040 Speaker 1: out of the day, of just trying to replace certain 513 00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:46,680 Speaker 1: foods that are making us feel unwell, it's a lot 514 00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:49,839 Speaker 1: easier to integrate into our lives rather than trying to 515 00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:54,719 Speaker 1: completely shift our lifestyle overnight. These resolutions are also be 516 00:34:54,800 --> 00:34:57,279 Speaker 1: easier for you to stick to because you're not going 517 00:34:57,360 --> 00:35:00,200 Speaker 1: to feel like you're missing out, and you'll still be 518 00:35:00,239 --> 00:35:03,480 Speaker 1: able to move closer to your big goal. Sometimes I 519 00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:06,360 Speaker 1: think we get so excited and we are so impatient 520 00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:09,160 Speaker 1: that we just rush to the finish line, and what 521 00:35:09,239 --> 00:35:12,440 Speaker 1: ends up happening is that it's a not very sustainable 522 00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:16,000 Speaker 1: and we just end up failing because any kind of 523 00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:19,400 Speaker 1: massive life change is going to take so much energy. 524 00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:24,360 Speaker 1: Similar to this is ensuring that your goals are clearly defined. 525 00:35:25,080 --> 00:35:29,400 Speaker 1: I think often we set these very big, sweeping goals 526 00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:32,239 Speaker 1: and we make these big statements like I want to 527 00:35:32,280 --> 00:35:36,160 Speaker 1: be healthier, or I want to make new friends, or 528 00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:41,320 Speaker 1: I want to be more successful. But unfortunately those goals, 529 00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:46,239 Speaker 1: as amazing as they sound, they're not very clear, and 530 00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:49,520 Speaker 1: it's hard to hold yourself accountable if you don't really 531 00:35:49,560 --> 00:35:54,240 Speaker 1: have a vision or an idea of success in mind. 532 00:35:54,360 --> 00:35:56,920 Speaker 1: So making sure that you know exactly what it is 533 00:35:56,960 --> 00:36:01,080 Speaker 1: you're working for you create a resolution so that you 534 00:36:01,120 --> 00:36:04,440 Speaker 1: can actionably see when you're getting closer to the end 535 00:36:04,440 --> 00:36:07,760 Speaker 1: outcome is going to really help you. In a similar 536 00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:10,640 Speaker 1: Vein to both of those things, I think also limiting 537 00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:14,640 Speaker 1: yourself to a few resolutions, maybe just one, is also 538 00:36:14,719 --> 00:36:18,960 Speaker 1: going to be really really helpful and really enable your success. 539 00:36:19,680 --> 00:36:22,800 Speaker 1: It's really tempting to do these big to do lists 540 00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:27,880 Speaker 1: and to have all these really insane expectations for what 541 00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:31,440 Speaker 1: we're capable of doing. Maybe you're someone who can handle 542 00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:35,360 Speaker 1: that amount of pressure and that many things on your mind, 543 00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:38,320 Speaker 1: but most of us can't really focus on a huge 544 00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:40,560 Speaker 1: list at once. It's better to break it down into 545 00:36:40,640 --> 00:36:43,440 Speaker 1: maybe just one or one or two goals that we 546 00:36:43,480 --> 00:36:46,279 Speaker 1: really want to achieve, and that way when not as 547 00:36:46,320 --> 00:36:50,640 Speaker 1: easily overwhelmed and as frustrated, and we can integrate those 548 00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:54,120 Speaker 1: goals into our life a bit better. If we've decided, 549 00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:55,880 Speaker 1: you know, I want to exercise more, and then I 550 00:36:55,960 --> 00:36:58,080 Speaker 1: want to eat better, and then I want to be 551 00:36:58,239 --> 00:37:02,640 Speaker 1: more sustainable, and I want to spend money better, that 552 00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:06,120 Speaker 1: is a lot. That is a lot, So maybe try 553 00:37:06,120 --> 00:37:09,279 Speaker 1: and find a goal that links all of them. Like 554 00:37:09,440 --> 00:37:13,680 Speaker 1: walking to work that is sustainable. It's a great exercise, 555 00:37:13,719 --> 00:37:15,359 Speaker 1: and it saves you money because you don't have to 556 00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:20,000 Speaker 1: pay for petrol or pay for transport. Another few tips 557 00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:22,160 Speaker 1: that I kind of gathered was to be realistic. I 558 00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:26,120 Speaker 1: think we've talked about that already find community and with 559 00:37:26,239 --> 00:37:31,040 Speaker 1: that accountability. If your goal is shared, you're able to 560 00:37:31,960 --> 00:37:34,920 Speaker 1: relate to others who are going through similar things or 561 00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:39,399 Speaker 1: facing similar setbacks. And also you feel accountable and you're 562 00:37:39,440 --> 00:37:43,000 Speaker 1: excited to pursue the goal because you have community surrounding it. 563 00:37:43,840 --> 00:37:46,680 Speaker 1: Find a way to track your progress and see the 564 00:37:46,719 --> 00:37:49,520 Speaker 1: small wins. When we set a big goal and it's 565 00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:52,439 Speaker 1: in the future and it's going to take a lot 566 00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:55,719 Speaker 1: for us to get there, we can become disheartened quite 567 00:37:55,719 --> 00:37:59,920 Speaker 1: easily because we don't see any output from our efforts. 568 00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:03,520 Speaker 1: So find a way to track your progress or to 569 00:38:03,600 --> 00:38:08,000 Speaker 1: give yourself some small wins to motivate you along the way. 570 00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:11,279 Speaker 1: One way that I do this is I create kind 571 00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:14,640 Speaker 1: of like a visual vision board or a resource to 572 00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:17,960 Speaker 1: think about what I want to achieve and why. And 573 00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:22,120 Speaker 1: it helps me keep focused and really visualize the outcome 574 00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:24,239 Speaker 1: that I want and why I want it. It's been 575 00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:27,400 Speaker 1: so helpful. I do this at the start of most years, 576 00:38:27,960 --> 00:38:30,960 Speaker 1: where I create like a bit of a collage about 577 00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:34,839 Speaker 1: where I see my year going. It's firstly a really 578 00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:37,080 Speaker 1: great way to reflect and see what it is that 579 00:38:37,160 --> 00:38:40,439 Speaker 1: I've realized about that, but it also makes it really 580 00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:43,120 Speaker 1: clear to me about what it is I'm working towards, 581 00:38:43,160 --> 00:38:45,560 Speaker 1: and I don't lose sight in all the chaos of 582 00:38:45,560 --> 00:38:51,720 Speaker 1: our day to day lives. Finally, it's so important to 583 00:38:51,760 --> 00:38:57,000 Speaker 1: be mindful, take responsibility for your actions, and to stay committed, 584 00:38:57,400 --> 00:39:00,399 Speaker 1: but also not get too wrapped up in one goal, right. 585 00:39:00,440 --> 00:39:03,279 Speaker 1: You want your life to be enjoyable, and often if 586 00:39:03,360 --> 00:39:05,200 Speaker 1: you put all your eggs in one basket, if you're 587 00:39:05,200 --> 00:39:09,279 Speaker 1: too dedicated, if you go about it really intensely, you're 588 00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:11,680 Speaker 1: not going to be successful because you're just going to 589 00:39:11,719 --> 00:39:16,200 Speaker 1: be exhausted and you're going to lose motivation really really fast. 590 00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:19,680 Speaker 1: So start with a picture of your future self in mind. 591 00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:23,759 Speaker 1: Make that image big and bright, Imagine what it feels like, 592 00:39:23,880 --> 00:39:27,920 Speaker 1: Imagine how you feel, and hold that really deeply. Hold 593 00:39:27,960 --> 00:39:30,160 Speaker 1: on to it as a daily reminder for what you 594 00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:33,840 Speaker 1: are working for and why you're working towards. That change 595 00:39:33,880 --> 00:39:37,480 Speaker 1: your phone background or something about your environment that reminds 596 00:39:37,520 --> 00:39:41,439 Speaker 1: you of your goal every day. I saw this really 597 00:39:41,440 --> 00:39:43,880 Speaker 1: interesting quote. I think it's a great thing to share 598 00:39:45,560 --> 00:39:47,960 Speaker 1: to end up to you. To wrap up this episode, 599 00:39:48,560 --> 00:39:53,040 Speaker 1: winners and losers have the same goals. It's all about 600 00:39:53,040 --> 00:39:57,080 Speaker 1: who is most consistent. You're allowed to have setbacks, you're 601 00:39:57,120 --> 00:40:00,239 Speaker 1: allowed to have failures, but if you keep working out 602 00:40:00,280 --> 00:40:02,120 Speaker 1: it day by day, you just aim to be one 603 00:40:02,160 --> 00:40:06,520 Speaker 1: percent better every day. It's going to be achievable, and 604 00:40:06,560 --> 00:40:08,600 Speaker 1: I wish you the best of luck. I hope that 605 00:40:08,640 --> 00:40:12,680 Speaker 1: you're successful. How amazing to be setting new Year's resolutions. 606 00:40:12,760 --> 00:40:15,000 Speaker 1: I am so excited for the new year and all 607 00:40:15,040 --> 00:40:17,360 Speaker 1: that's going to come with it. It's going to be 608 00:40:17,400 --> 00:40:19,480 Speaker 1: a big year for the podcast and I cannot thank 609 00:40:19,520 --> 00:40:22,719 Speaker 1: you enough for supporting me throughout twenty twenty two. So 610 00:40:22,800 --> 00:40:25,320 Speaker 1: thank you to all the new listeners, to everyone who's shared, 611 00:40:25,400 --> 00:40:29,520 Speaker 1: to everyone who's messaged me and followed me. I am 612 00:40:29,640 --> 00:40:32,719 Speaker 1: so grateful and I cannot wait to push this even 613 00:40:32,760 --> 00:40:36,040 Speaker 1: further and do so many amazing things in the new year. 614 00:40:36,760 --> 00:40:39,279 Speaker 1: If you enjoyed this episode, if you think that other 615 00:40:39,320 --> 00:40:42,480 Speaker 1: people would enjoy it as well, please feel free to 616 00:40:42,760 --> 00:40:46,800 Speaker 1: leave a five star review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, wherever 617 00:40:46,840 --> 00:40:49,560 Speaker 1: you get your podcasts. It really helps the show to 618 00:40:49,680 --> 00:40:52,600 Speaker 1: grow and to reach new people, So if you feel 619 00:40:52,640 --> 00:40:56,439 Speaker 1: called to do so, it makes a huge difference. And yeah, 620 00:40:56,480 --> 00:40:58,640 Speaker 1: I would love I'd be very grateful if you would 621 00:40:58,760 --> 00:41:02,279 Speaker 1: do that. And if you're interested in seeing more of 622 00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:06,560 Speaker 1: my content, please follow our Instagram at that Psychology Podcast. 623 00:41:06,960 --> 00:41:10,160 Speaker 1: Often I let listeners of the show decide the episodes 624 00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:11,880 Speaker 1: that I publish for the week, So if that is 625 00:41:11,880 --> 00:41:16,040 Speaker 1: something you are interested in, please give us a follow 626 00:41:16,160 --> 00:41:19,959 Speaker 1: and participate in the community that way. Thank you again 627 00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:22,880 Speaker 1: for listening. Good luck. If you've said a New Year's resolution, 628 00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:26,000 Speaker 1: I'm sure you're going to do amazing and I will 629 00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:28,520 Speaker 1: see you next week for a new episode.