Speaker 1: Hi, guys, I just wanted to jump on here with
Speaker 1: little Bow say hey bo okay um, and we just
Speaker 1: wanted to let everyone know about upcoming live shows. We
Speaker 1: have several coming up, but the first one is Queers Live,
Speaker 1: Bow and tell them Babe. It's inspired from the very
Speaker 1: inspired by, i should say, very first Diva's Live, starting
Speaker 1: all your favorite divits, but we're just putting a little
Speaker 1: queer spin on it. We're gonna have so many great people.
Speaker 1: Larry Owen's called a Skull of Josh Sharp, Aaron Jackson
Speaker 1: as Peter Smith, Peter Smith, and more to be announced.
Speaker 1: More Queer to be announced. Musical directed by the one
Speaker 1: and only Henry Koperski Son Monday, novembery at Joe's Pub,
Speaker 1: The one and only. It's our very first, ever last
Speaker 1: culture is to show at Joe's Pub. We love the
Speaker 1: folks over there. We're gonna be, you know, recording a
Speaker 1: little video promo for it in the coming weeks. You
Speaker 1: might see it and you can get tickets at the
Speaker 1: Joe's Pub website, so please head over and do that,
Speaker 1: and then we have the gag. Of course, it's I
Speaker 1: don't think so honey Live at the Bellhouse on No. Yes,
Speaker 1: this is gonna be a pretty new batch of folks.
Speaker 1: We are really gonna show you some new faces, Darling.
Speaker 1: Our last one was like a Legends ball type gig.
Speaker 1: But this is gonna be such a fun, fresh experience.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be so great. I can't wait for it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you gotta get your tickets to our I Don't Think
Speaker 1: So Honey Live at the Bellhouse on no And if
Speaker 1: you're on the West Coast, Honey, I'm coming to you
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna be doing I Don't Think So Honey
Speaker 1: Live at the Region in downtown l A on December five.
Speaker 1: The lineup will be announced shortly as well the Bellhouse lineup.
Speaker 1: But this is gonna be so much fun. I loved
Speaker 1: our show that we did fun. I can't believe I'm
Speaker 1: missing this one. But you know what, it's for a
Speaker 1: good reason, which is your wedding to yourself? Yes, just
Speaker 1: kidding his work, um, so listen, I cannot wait. And
Speaker 1: then selfishly, I want to just plug a little show
Speaker 1: that I do here in New York City at the Duplex.
Speaker 1: It's called have you heard of Christmas? Oh? I love
Speaker 1: this show. Thank you baby. I'm really excited it's gonna
Speaker 1: be on December eleven, December twenty two, so I'm gonna
Speaker 1: do that show three times and I really want you
Speaker 1: guys to come. You can get tickets, um, which are
Speaker 1: on sale right now. Those are the shows, and that's
Speaker 1: the Gauntless Special Best Special Guests and that's musical directed
Speaker 1: by Henrykoperski as well. Yes, oh, I can't wait for
Speaker 1: all of these shows. Um. I will be three out
Speaker 1: of four of them for sure, So please get those
Speaker 1: tickets and check them out. Yes, look man, oh I
Speaker 1: see you? Why why look over there? How is that culture? Yes? Goodness?
Speaker 1: And we relate to the studio today. And our guest
Speaker 1: was furious because Boe had to make his rice. This
Speaker 1: is a pr disaster. I've never been slandered this way
Speaker 1: on social media. No one ever came for me because
Speaker 1: I didn't tell the whole truth. What and that's a
Speaker 1: rule of culture number No one ever came for me
Speaker 1: because I didn't tell the whole truth. Lots of reasons
Speaker 1: to read me. But you know what, you can't say
Speaker 1: I'm not a truth telling bitch capital b wait, okay,
Speaker 1: we can't pass this that right now. I would expose you.
Speaker 1: I don't know what that means. I don't know. I
Speaker 1: was making short rib kimchi fried rice for all of us,
Speaker 1: complimenting himself all the way. No, I was gonna make
Speaker 1: it for all of us to eat after this, after
Speaker 1: this recording. But you're you're going to go off to
Speaker 1: caveat um and for game show on my Game show,
Speaker 1: and Joel is invited to come over. Our guest is
Speaker 1: invited to come over afterwards and played Slapparazzi on Mario Party.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, wait now I have to come but yeah, okay, wait,
Speaker 1: you guys, here's this is a last couturism endorsements. Yes,
Speaker 1: so Super Mario Party on the Super Mario Party on
Speaker 1: Tendo Switch. It's the best mini game in Mario Party history.
Speaker 1: It's called Slaparazzi. You basically go explain it. So there's
Speaker 1: a circular platform that all all four characters are on,
Speaker 1: competitors around, and there's five different stands where a kupa
Speaker 1: with the camera will appear at random, and your job
Speaker 1: is to the goal is to go as close as
Speaker 1: possible to the camera and slap away your competitors to
Speaker 1: see who can get most centered slap them out of
Speaker 1: the way for the intention of this Kopa photographer. And
Speaker 1: what's the name of the girl, Rosalina. Okay, so there's
Speaker 1: this new character, Rosalina, who's like in the same world
Speaker 1: as Peach and Daisy, Like she's obviously some sort of princess,
Speaker 1: but she's got an asymmetrical bang and she's nine feet tall,
Speaker 1: and it's impossible for her to not win this game.
Speaker 1: And Dave Mazzoni was playing us Rose Salina and he
Speaker 1: kept winning. It was so funny. Rose Helena was just
Speaker 1: looking stunning in front of the camera every action, even
Speaker 1: when she was being slapped away, she looked looked fierce. Um,
Speaker 1: oh my goodness. We're making history again with this episode.
Speaker 1: Can you believe it's a three pet? It's a three pet.
Speaker 1: This is the first entry into the three timers club.
Speaker 1: We're making history again, making history again, as we were,
Speaker 1: well behaved women barely make history, are we well behaved?
Speaker 1: It's actually a little culture number one behavor history. That's
Speaker 1: how Marilyn said it too, with that little Coquetta's Coatta's affect.
Speaker 1: Honestly from runner for title of have well behaved women. Okay,
Speaker 1: let's just see what the guests we're literally three minutes,
Speaker 1: and I'm just saying it's a farmer at this time.
Speaker 1: We've been doing them for three minutes, and at this
Speaker 1: time it's a farmer, just like Lady Govt in the
Speaker 1: best actual Race. And I knew that would get we
Speaker 1: get our guest a little steam. This is our deep
Speaker 1: dive into a stars burn. We'll talk about a clam
Speaker 1: in a hot bucket, but this is our first three
Speaker 1: time guest. He's one of our dearest friends. He is
Speaker 1: one of the most pre eminent minds in comedy right now.
Speaker 1: I would say when it comes to minds, pre eminent,
Speaker 1: pre eminent, honestly mind body face, hair, body mind face
Speaker 1: missed the fourth one. A man loves a quadruple threat.
Speaker 1: He h has his wonderful show Joy Club as part
Speaker 1: of your Comedy Festival number November nine Friday. I might
Speaker 1: be in ned. Who knows it's gonna be all Asian comedian.
Speaker 1: If you're not on the bill, I would gag. I
Speaker 1: would say that's a revolutionary for Joel to not book
Speaker 1: bow one for the Joy Club. But he's I mean,
Speaker 1: we're he's He's booked mostly the lineup from San Francisco.
Speaker 1: When he when we did this at Clouster for when
Speaker 1: he did this at Clouster Fest, one of my one
Speaker 1: of my favorite was my favorite shoes, so fun, so great.
Speaker 1: And I say that, and we had a show in
Speaker 1: the festival, and I would say Joel was robbed uh
Speaker 1: in Gatland to gag, I would say, I mean, look,
Speaker 1: if we're looking back and we're gonna like relitigate the
Speaker 1: whole thing, it was pretty much a robbery that he
Speaker 1: didn't move on to at least the next round. I agree.
Speaker 1: I agree, we'll back and listen to it. We'll get it.
Speaker 1: We'll get into this with him. You can sound off
Speaker 1: in the comments and Joe will also um maybe be
Speaker 1: co hosting the l a version of I Don't Think
Speaker 1: So Honey with you. We hope. So it's again, it's
Speaker 1: in litigation right now. It's in litigation. It's in the
Speaker 1: courts um, which have been changed irrevocably under this administration. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: I haven't seen you since the Cave hearings. Oh it's
Speaker 1: been a while. We haven't. We haven't done a live
Speaker 1: episode in studio and we haven't recorded in in a
Speaker 1: bit because you have your new um gig. And yes,
Speaker 1: since since then, the world's turned upside down, found out
Speaker 1: the world's ending. But let's bring in our guests. Let's
Speaker 1: bring in our guests. This is one of my favorite
Speaker 1: people in the world. We got that off the top.
Speaker 1: We're my favorite people in the world. Welcome Joel him poster. Yeah,
Speaker 1: here on your second favorite podcast, Joe. Joel has a
Speaker 1: new favorite podcast. It is It's still in the Forever
Speaker 1: Dog cinematic universe. Is you used to call it the
Speaker 1: law schools racist cinematic. It's incredible. And now it's been demo.
Speaker 1: We've been demoted, truly be demo. I got we got
Speaker 1: dinner the other night. He was I think I was
Speaker 1: the first person he saw in this great city. And
Speaker 1: he looked me in the eyes and said, I'm recording
Speaker 1: my my favorite podcast tomorrow. And I knew that we
Speaker 1: weren't recording with him until Friday today, and I said, oh, okay,
Speaker 1: that's hurtful. The timeline is completely wrong. Here, by the way,
Speaker 1: not the first person that I saw then tomorrow. I
Speaker 1: don't know. You're just such a sensation list um. I
Speaker 1: I love this podcast. You know, this podcast will always
Speaker 1: be my favorite. But I have to say I moved
Speaker 1: to l a a year ago, and I rely on
Speaker 1: these podcasts to spend time with my friends while I'm
Speaker 1: driving around my car. And your podcast has simply gotten
Speaker 1: too big. You're getting big names like Scott Thompson and
Speaker 1: Angela and aren't they your friends? They are not my friends. Okay,
Speaker 1: I am their friend, they are not my friend. Okay.
Speaker 1: But and it's just right now, Cat and Pat they're
Speaker 1: having on all my friends and comforting to me. I
Speaker 1: guess Joel is saying to Cat and Pat, you know,
Speaker 1: stay small, don't go to bid don't if you if
Speaker 1: you listen to my episode of their podcast. I did
Speaker 1: say that to their faces, and they did find it
Speaker 1: to be very offensive. So I can't wait to listen
Speaker 1: to that. But by the time this comes out, that'll
Speaker 1: have come out. Yea, yeah, you'll be all over the
Speaker 1: Forever Dog airwaves. Did you do you? Did you do?
Speaker 1: On offecial? And I did unofficial experts. I did so.
Speaker 1: The woman who books all the Forever Dog podcast guests,
Speaker 1: she said, hey, when are you in town? And I said, actually,
Speaker 1: I'll pull up the email if you guys are fucking
Speaker 1: but her about me having a new favorite podcast, but
Speaker 1: she said, we'd love to get you on some of
Speaker 1: the other podcasts, and I said, I don't want to
Speaker 1: be on any some I was like, I don't want
Speaker 1: to be on some other podcasts. I was like, if
Speaker 1: I have to, I was like lost Culturist priority number
Speaker 1: one and I have time, I'll do seek treatment. And
Speaker 1: then I was like, and then you can choose a
Speaker 1: third and go and I think it's a great choice.
Speaker 1: It's a great choice. It was like, this was the
Speaker 1: right choice. I think good of everything on the network.
Speaker 1: I was like, that's what I want to hear as
Speaker 1: you Listendy and Murray. I was it was so fun.
Speaker 1: They are the funniest people. And um, I was being
Speaker 1: a little bit, but thank I knew what I wanted
Speaker 1: and I asked for it. Thank you, thank you. It's
Speaker 1: exemplary exactly. So Joel, how is this why I were
Speaker 1: literally catching up because I was very late and I'm
Speaker 1: sorry and I apologize. How is this ais? Events? The
Speaker 1: Asis event was fine? Um, it was they The thing
Speaker 1: is they asked for r s vps, They knew how
Speaker 1: many people were coming to the event, and they still
Speaker 1: chose to have it in the smallest space imaginable. That
Speaker 1: was truly. It was like it was like a Z
Speaker 1: shaped room, so it was mostly hallway, um, and a
Speaker 1: Z shaped room was so sarry. Yeah, it really did
Speaker 1: feel like a like a Stephen King novel. You just
Speaker 1: couldn't move. There was literally like tables in the middle
Speaker 1: of every room. Um. But it was great. Everyone who
Speaker 1: was cool and hip and dress as well was there.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, but we were not invited and I'm a
Speaker 1: weird frequent Hello. I owned several garments from a stop. No,
Speaker 1: here's the thing. Patty Harrison famously did a branded SPA
Speaker 1: con with ASAS, and she told me that they corrected
Speaker 1: her and said it's actually pronounced a sauce, which I said, no,
Speaker 1: it's you. You were saying. It's like a gift shift there.
Speaker 1: It's a gift shift situation. I don't give a ship.
Speaker 1: They're supposed to be jif. No, there's there's not a
Speaker 1: soul that says a sauce and they need to know that.
Speaker 1: But they are British, they're British company. Yeah. I know
Speaker 1: they're sucking British because they always fault me to the
Speaker 1: UK and and they show fucking pounds even after I
Speaker 1: tell them. After the million times American American, American American
Speaker 1: just like you, and so thank you. Wait, I just
Speaker 1: want to say that there's been a lot of slander
Speaker 1: about a sauce this thus far on the episode, and
Speaker 1: I just want to say, because I had like a
Speaker 1: new coat, I love sce and I would go to
Speaker 1: any other events truly wearing head Toto asis right now.
Speaker 1: I like that shirt a lot. Actually, thank you. It
Speaker 1: is just a plane tea that got sucked up in
Speaker 1: the wash and now people think it's better. Really, yeah,
Speaker 1: is that a plane? Was it a white tea? What
Speaker 1: a great segment for as Also I'm looking at you
Speaker 1: wearing it and I'm like, oh, it's just that I
Speaker 1: wish I had like a good body. Okay, okay, well
Speaker 1: what are we gonna do? Not talk about it? You're
Speaker 1: walking around with it. You're walking around with this body,
Speaker 1: all this body. I feel like this is so this
Speaker 1: is like always the time of year almost that I've
Speaker 1: recorded this podcast with you guys. In every single year
Speaker 1: when I record this podcast, I am like coming either
Speaker 1: out of a depressive phase into a manic phase, or
Speaker 1: have just been yelled at um by a good friend's boyfriends.
Speaker 1: So where are you? I think I'm I'm I'm as
Speaker 1: I was the same time last this time last year,
Speaker 1: exiting a dark phase I think, and the year before that,
Speaker 1: I was yelled at by our good friend's birth boyfriend.
Speaker 1: Uh do you remember? Wait? Wait? Oh? It was just
Speaker 1: like flow like flow into this podcast recording and I'm
Speaker 1: always just like I'm always so stressed, I'm sweating, and
Speaker 1: I'm just like, Okay, let's talk through this. You know what,
Speaker 1: I you know what? You know what happened in therapy
Speaker 1: today that I'm obsessed with. I was venting. I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, like I just got dumbed this week
Speaker 1: and work is kind of crazy and all this stuff,
Speaker 1: and then like I'm always calling those things into question.
Speaker 1: I'm always second guessing myself in those areas. And then
Speaker 1: she goes, Okay, tell me one area in your life
Speaker 1: that you are certain about that you never question ever.
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh God, do I have anything?
Speaker 1: And then I said, my friends, my friendships I never question.
Speaker 1: And then she asked why and I said, because she
Speaker 1: was who was why do you think that is? And
Speaker 1: I said because I just I'm I'm very lucky to
Speaker 1: have them, and they've just I've invested a lot of
Speaker 1: time into them and it's just been a matter of
Speaker 1: time and volume. And she was like, well, great, then
Speaker 1: that might apply to other areas as well. I was like,
Speaker 1: oh great, So Joel, this is just just for you
Speaker 1: to say, maybe have the same exercise where you're just
Speaker 1: you just examine the things that you are certain about.
Speaker 1: And then I don't know, I'm not. I I was
Speaker 1: when I before I moved out way and then, um,
Speaker 1: you know, we had like many relationships I had to
Speaker 1: say goodbye, and now I'm trying to find one in
Speaker 1: l A. But it's tough. I'm I'm on the road
Speaker 1: like three weekends out of three weeks out of the
Speaker 1: month usually, and so it's hard to like keep that
Speaker 1: relationship alive. It's hard to keep any relationship alive. It
Speaker 1: is it is, you know, and um, you know that's
Speaker 1: but that's that's an investment in a relationship that you
Speaker 1: would make. I know, but I honestly like, I found
Speaker 1: it so hard. It took me years in New York
Speaker 1: to find a therapist that I vibed with because it's
Speaker 1: always it's it is like dating. It's like dating. And
Speaker 1: I would always get these people who were I and
Speaker 1: this is this is awful to say, but I just
Speaker 1: kept meeting therapists that were dumber than me, and it
Speaker 1: was just really frustrating to theist. Yeah, and it was
Speaker 1: just like like and they were it was just like
Speaker 1: making the most basic observations and like and I was like,
Speaker 1: let me do a shortcut from you. I'm going to
Speaker 1: say this, which is covering for this, and it a
Speaker 1: total fabrication because this is how I'm really feeling, and
Speaker 1: You're going to tell me this and then I'm going
Speaker 1: to reach this point. Can I go, now, who is that?
Speaker 1: Like that's like a character that's like a famous character,
Speaker 1: someone that's the way ahead of everyone else. Yeah, like
Speaker 1: like a like a and the social network like sort
Speaker 1: of like happen. It's like a doctor house thing. It's
Speaker 1: like seven. Can I say, speaking of characters? Can I say?
Speaker 1: Because I don't know who what you're talking about, but
Speaker 1: I do know what I'm thinking. And I'm thinking right
Speaker 1: now about my favorite type of character in any movie.
Speaker 1: And me Patty and Study just wanted to go see
Speaker 1: Venom and you are full. You were both famously invited
Speaker 1: to the showing of Venom, and you both pulled out
Speaker 1: that night, Um, and I got blindsided by both the
Speaker 1: location and the time change. It was Williamsburg Cinemas at
Speaker 1: ten pm. And also we would have gone earlier. Well
Speaker 1: you guys said I, we would have gone at nine.
Speaker 1: This is a so electric for the listeners to hear.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, like we could have been there, and
Speaker 1: a lot about to say. This has really gone from
Speaker 1: like you interviewing ch Angela and big names to just
Speaker 1: three friends, like talking nonsense. One thing, because now I'm
Speaker 1: going to talk about culture. Has my favorite kind of
Speaker 1: character you could ever put in any movie, which is
Speaker 1: dumb fucking scientists Jenny Slate. The only person who understood
Speaker 1: what movie she was in was Jenny Slate, who knew
Speaker 1: it was fucking stupid. And she was like, okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: so I'm a scientist and clearly what you can see
Speaker 1: as we have here is a mutation and you know,
Speaker 1: like all these things, and she's saying these big words,
Speaker 1: huge words, and she's Jenny Slate, but but she's a scientist,
Speaker 1: so we're buying into that. Great, So she is like
Speaker 1: to doing her things. And then the character and this
Speaker 1: is such a trope in these movies, which is scientists
Speaker 1: who can literally in ours create like magic science, like
Speaker 1: we're going to make what's the symbiotic mutation whatever occur
Speaker 1: and like on a whim, like it's ready in days
Speaker 1: and then but they can't see even half a step
Speaker 1: in front of their own actions until they are dead
Speaker 1: fifteen minutes later, Like they just are so stupid. Spoiler alert,
Speaker 1: she dies, yes, dies, and the way, and this time
Speaker 1: I know that she would. She knew exactly what movie
Speaker 1: she was in because the character spoiler alert realizes that
Speaker 1: she's going to die and she goes no, no, And
Speaker 1: it's just so funny. And I'm not saying that, I'm
Speaker 1: not saying that Jenny Slate is not fantastical. I think
Speaker 1: she is phenomenal in it because she said no, and
Speaker 1: also there was truly a some of her line rtings.
Speaker 1: I was like, you get this movie, baby, at least
Speaker 1: she tried something that she Williams didn't make any effort.
Speaker 1: If you like, if you like a dumb scientist in movies,
Speaker 1: then I recommend The Predator, which is toe to toe
Speaker 1: with Jurassic World following Kingdom as the worst movie I've
Speaker 1: seen all year. You didn't even have fun watch watching Kingdom.
Speaker 1: I did not have a single ound of joy in
Speaker 1: my body when I left that theater, I was so mad.
Speaker 1: I think you're right time when that man turned around
Speaker 1: in another pretty dumb scientist and he was like, nasty woman.
Speaker 1: I turned to my friend Sam and I we screamed.
Speaker 1: We screamed in each other's faces, and we could not
Speaker 1: believe that in the year of our world they were
Speaker 1: making a nasty woman reference in this fucking dinosaur movie.
Speaker 1: Here's how you know that, Like it's all just like
Speaker 1: truly a waste. Because there's that great moment in Jurassic
Speaker 1: World with lap Gus and um J Jake Johnson, which
Speaker 1: there's obviously I can't believe it in a way the
Speaker 1: best part of the movie. And kiss wasn't in the
Speaker 1: drastic they should have been the stars because the moment
Speaker 1: when he's going up to kiss her and she's like, oh,
Speaker 1: I have a boyfriend, that's like truly so smart and
Speaker 1: I had never seen that before and I was like,
Speaker 1: there was someone who was capable of writing that joke
Speaker 1: in that scene, and like the rest of the movie
Speaker 1: is this. And I didn't hate Drassic World. I hate
Speaker 1: a dress girl Fallen King that wasn't even fine. It
Speaker 1: was so rough. It was just oh and but like, honestly,
Speaker 1: I think the Predator might have been worse. If you
Speaker 1: can imagine, if you can imagine, did you see Venom yet? No? No,
Speaker 1: I haven't seen Venom yet because famously you changed the
Speaker 1: time and the location. Wait, who's the dumb scientist and
Speaker 1: the predator Olivia? I stand I actually do. I think
Speaker 1: she's I love. I think I stand behind her with
Speaker 1: what she you know, did during the press tour for
Speaker 1: the movie, which you know, with the pedophile, the sex
Speaker 1: vendor on on the set. I do. But I find
Speaker 1: her just a wet noodle, just as a performer. I mean.
Speaker 1: The thing is is, so a lot of people think
Speaker 1: Aaron Rodgers is closeted. They do, and oh, yeah, I
Speaker 1: guess this is like a real midwet like this is
Speaker 1: a Chicago gay Twitter Like, um, this was like if
Speaker 1: you were if you were gay in Chicago in twenty
Speaker 1: like thirteen, you were very aware. No, but he's he
Speaker 1: plays for the Packers and so Midwest you know, we're
Speaker 1: all aware. But I've always said that, like if you
Speaker 1: are going to have a beard, like make it someone
Speaker 1: that is completely invisible to gay men, and so in
Speaker 1: that way, Oliviamon is the idea, Wow, you are a
Speaker 1: quints so but it's just like, why all these k
Speaker 1: a w nt fucking like historical beards like Liza Manelli.
Speaker 1: It's like, what are you thinking? Yes, of course you
Speaker 1: want to hang out with Liza, But I mean the
Speaker 1: best beard of all time? Are not not the best,
Speaker 1: but I think the most prolific beard of all time
Speaker 1: may actually be our sweet sister Democrat Party and his
Speaker 1: Democrat Party, Democrat Party. I think our community really made
Speaker 1: a mistake when we started calling the women that game
Speaker 1: end date to cover for themselves beards instead of wigs.
Speaker 1: We can, we can, actually that's actually a little culture
Speaker 1: number sixty one. We should have been following them way.
Speaker 1: But we can change it. We'll change it. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't know if we can know, because now all these
Speaker 1: little gays are saying wig, Yeah, we're old. Now old,
Speaker 1: isn't that? It's tough. It's really hard to go to
Speaker 1: these colleges now and perform in front of college because
Speaker 1: they're all like Charlie Peu and I'm like, what it's booth?
Speaker 1: I couldn't care less if it's pew with pooth or puff.
Speaker 1: I would love puff. Now I don't. I don't love that.
Speaker 1: But the thing about, like as Pat says, these young girls,
Speaker 1: is that, um, you know we were we were then,
Speaker 1: but but but a decade ago. Yeah, And I guess
Speaker 1: I have to like I always have to think when
Speaker 1: I go to these colleges and before I step out
Speaker 1: onto those stages, I think to myself, remember what you
Speaker 1: were like at twenty and I was like I was
Speaker 1: still like a real human being, and um, I it
Speaker 1: is this weird mental block in my head where I'm
Speaker 1: like every time I go to a college and like
Speaker 1: they're not real, they don't know, like they don't care
Speaker 1: about me. I'm too old. Like half the time, when
Speaker 1: like one of the students is like, what do you
Speaker 1: want me to say about you before I bring you up,
Speaker 1: I'm just like, can you just tell them that I
Speaker 1: know jabuky young wife. I feel like I feel like
Speaker 1: that will do more to endear me than anything else, because, um,
Speaker 1: you don't know this though, but your peers are there,
Speaker 1: like I remember like when during our were you there
Speaker 1: that night when we went to the n y U
Speaker 1: Welcome Week the stand up and the headliner was Michelle Bueau. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like it's it was. It's weird now to show with her,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, and like know her, like
Speaker 1: I've worked with her a bunch, but it's like it's
Speaker 1: just funny because like, well there is a difference though,
Speaker 1: and this is I mean, maybe this is problematic, but
Speaker 1: I will say there's like a difference. But when I
Speaker 1: go to a school in like Colby, Maine, you know,
Speaker 1: to going to Northwestern or like I was, I just did,
Speaker 1: like a school in San Diego, Lahoya, you know, like
Speaker 1: it's different. Like there, I do think the energy is
Speaker 1: different and like the lives that they're leading her a
Speaker 1: little bit. It's incredibly problematic of you to say, but
Speaker 1: I guess we have to agree. But um, I think
Speaker 1: who knows, Like there's a freshman at Haverford who's going
Speaker 1: to share the build with all of us and four
Speaker 1: years what do you think their name is? Um? Truman?
Speaker 1: I just got asked out on it. Well, I so
Speaker 1: what happened is is I worked on the show. I
Speaker 1: was working on the show and the show runners assistant
Speaker 1: and I vibed like the whole time I was showing
Speaker 1: I love that and then he's in l A too,
Speaker 1: and like I I said, I said gorgeous, I come
Speaker 1: into gorge on one of his Instagram puzzs and he
Speaker 1: do you mean? He was like, hey, I think we
Speaker 1: really got along really well, and like on set, he
Speaker 1: was like, I would love to hang out with you
Speaker 1: and drink with you. Uh, do you want to go
Speaker 1: get a drink sometime with me? And I was like sure,
Speaker 1: and so we exchanged numbers and we've been texting and
Speaker 1: then it was his birthday last night and I was like,
Speaker 1: oh cute, and so I was like following along on
Speaker 1: his story and then the last one just said thank
Speaker 1: you to everyone who got me to twenty three, and
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, no, I don't think it matters
Speaker 1: if you couldn't tell he was twenty look not that
Speaker 1: he doesn't look to he looks about twenty five. There's
Speaker 1: like lines on my face, weren't there? The cost free
Speaker 1: Like that's the that's tough. No, I think I do
Speaker 1: think that's tough. I Um, I guess it's like different.
Speaker 1: I don't know, We'll see. Listen. When I was twenty
Speaker 1: seven dating a twenty three year old, it was tough.
Speaker 1: And now I'm thirty and the thought of going for
Speaker 1: drinks with a I mean, the thing is, he's like,
Speaker 1: we'll probably just have sex. It's not It is just
Speaker 1: like every time I find out someone's young, now, I
Speaker 1: just want to like suck. I mean whatever, that's the
Speaker 1: youngest person who uh, I want to say, not that young,
Speaker 1: I want to say, like I rarely date people in
Speaker 1: my own age. There's like, there's this guy, there's this
Speaker 1: guy that was like, yeah, older do do yeah? Which
Speaker 1: I prefer me and study are on the same boat,
Speaker 1: you like a crip keeper. Like I think I have
Speaker 1: always I have always wanted to date someone thirty. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So like when I was twenty three, I was dating
Speaker 1: thirty year olds, and now that I'm thirty, I will
Speaker 1: date thirty year olds. And I think when I'm forty,
Speaker 1: I'll still want to date thirty year olds. That's the
Speaker 1: gay men's curse what I've been running the spectrum lately.
Speaker 1: I recently went on a date with a couple of
Speaker 1: dates with someone who was twenty two and also someone
Speaker 1: who was forty. So I'm just all over Its great,
Speaker 1: But you know what's the international You know when it
Speaker 1: fucks you up, when it really scrambles your brain is
Speaker 1: when you go on a date with like someone who's
Speaker 1: in their thirties who is less emotionally mature than you,
Speaker 1: and that happens a lot. You're very emotionally, but emotionally
Speaker 1: you are in sixty eight. You wanted to date with
Speaker 1: this guy like in his thirties who would not stop
Speaker 1: talking about his acts, And I was like, you were
Speaker 1: too old to be doing this. You must understand that
Speaker 1: this is a big, big no, no, no no. Anyway, Um,
Speaker 1: I guess that is something. What same night? Oh really,
Speaker 1: that's the same night, Yeah, that you got dumped and
Speaker 1: then you went on a date on a different Um.
Speaker 1: We were there and Bone came back from a tell
Speaker 1: phone call where a relationship or a budding situation was
Speaker 1: was nipped in the buck and he was debating whether
Speaker 1: or not to go out on a date that very night.
Speaker 1: And I said, At first, I was like, well, are
Speaker 1: you thinking that you're going to represent yourself and have
Speaker 1: a good time. You're gonna have a good date tonight,
Speaker 1: And it was like no, But then I also thought
Speaker 1: to myself, yeah, but then you're also canceling on someone
Speaker 1: an hour before, two hours before, which I think at
Speaker 1: that point, you do have to think about their feelings.
Speaker 1: And we had another friend last night. I just won't
Speaker 1: say their name, um, but they were extremely nervous and
Speaker 1: anxious to go on a date. And I was literally
Speaker 1: just like, you gotta go because it's so shitty to
Speaker 1: cancel right before. That would really bother me. Yeah, that
Speaker 1: would shatter me. Shatter, that would shatter me, would emotionally shatter,
Speaker 1: to be canceled, to be canceled, um on. Okay, speaking
Speaker 1: of shallow, I know that's not old. Wow, you're ready
Speaker 1: to move on, are you? No? I watched to keep
Speaker 1: this at We're you feel this way? I feel this way. Oh,
Speaker 1: this is Matt's new catchphrase, you feel this way, which
Speaker 1: is you feel this way, which we were trying to
Speaker 1: think like maybe stylized as you the letter you capital
Speaker 1: F E E L this capital T H I S
Speaker 1: way capital W A y question mark. Okay, so there
Speaker 1: was no need to you know, there was there any
Speaker 1: that we needed to know. You feel this way all
Speaker 1: capitals feel that the audience is with me. Okay. Um,
Speaker 1: you feel this way, which is like, oh, like, oh,
Speaker 1: that's how you feel when you get caught up guard
Speaker 1: by someone's opinion. You say you feel this way, feel
Speaker 1: this way. Um, everyone start using it might be on
Speaker 1: the merch, It might be on the merche. Speaking of
Speaker 1: the merch, by the merch, this is our promised last
Speaker 1: cultures to steep dive. And he's refused to have a
Speaker 1: discussion with me about it until this moment. Joel, Yeah,
Speaker 1: and she was Star is Born. He's tried to bait me.
Speaker 1: He is trying to bait me. He is trying to
Speaker 1: bait I think I think that we already know what
Speaker 1: Joel stands on it. Well, yeah, because we knew even
Speaker 1: before the movie came out, because he said he was
Speaker 1: going to be contrarian no matter what. And that was
Speaker 1: a joke that this stupid bit, you are a contrarian
Speaker 1: on joke. I don't don't like this take a joke nonsense.
Speaker 1: When you said that to me in the group text, Matt,
Speaker 1: have you ever heard of a joke? I was like,
Speaker 1: I was truly said that said that to you, you
Speaker 1: feel this way? And I literally was like, Joel, you
Speaker 1: were gonna hate the movie no matter what, And you said, nod,
Speaker 1: do you know what a joke? No? I wanted to
Speaker 1: like that movie more than I did. No one wanted
Speaker 1: to go into that movie and love it. Absolutely, no one,
Speaker 1: not a single person on this fucking planet wanted to
Speaker 1: like that movie more than I did. But I think
Speaker 1: I think Joel was in a very like understandable place
Speaker 1: of just being like, there's no way it's going to
Speaker 1: live up to all this crazy height. Let's go around
Speaker 1: the table and talk about our feelings and opinions about
Speaker 1: Stars Born, starting with our esteemed guests. Now, I think
Speaker 1: you guys should go first. Okay, you go first. UM
Speaker 1: went in with very high expectations that I deep down
Speaker 1: there was a kernel of no way, no way is
Speaker 1: it going to live up to this When in I
Speaker 1: had just come from a weird day at work, and
Speaker 1: I was like, just absolutely, we want to We want textures, texture.
Speaker 1: The first movie ever saw was we want Texture. So
Speaker 1: we go to this theater, time Square, ten thirty Thursday. Um,
Speaker 1: it's all of our friends, a lot of a lot
Speaker 1: of fun pals, a lot of randos, and I will
Speaker 1: just say so the energy was very frenetic. Was just
Speaker 1: a lot happening, a lot of activity, and you know,
Speaker 1: I'm just getting really hyped up. And then we watched
Speaker 1: the movie. The first minutes or perfect, perfectly paced, perfectly performed,
Speaker 1: wonderful direction, decent writing, and then it just and then
Speaker 1: it just SAgs in the second half. And then I
Speaker 1: feel like a lot of things towards the end were unearned.
Speaker 1: Uh And I don't know what the we we don't know,
Speaker 1: uh what the point of view of the movie is,
Speaker 1: if it's supposed to be told through Jackson. And then
Speaker 1: at the end, I feel like we're not. No one's
Speaker 1: on the same page about what the takeaway is. And
Speaker 1: the thing that ruined the experience for me was the
Speaker 1: fucking person behind me who shushed me during no it
Speaker 1: was it was a white um uh like woman presenting
Speaker 1: person and like I was like, and she shushed me,
Speaker 1: and but not only but she shushed me during the
Speaker 1: alley billboard shot. Well that's ridiculous. We just I just
Speaker 1: couldn't stop laughing. Aaron Jackson was next to me. We
Speaker 1: both lost it. We were like giggling like schoolgirls. And
Speaker 1: then this fucking idiot goes and I gave the dirtiest
Speaker 1: look I've ever given. Our space, our space during our movie.
Speaker 1: I don't think. I don't think so, honey, Like, stop
Speaker 1: it he's that fucking sound ridiculous. Just literally used our
Speaker 1: words ridiculous. Anyway, are you good? I'm good. That's me.
Speaker 1: That That's all I have. Here's my review of the film,
Speaker 1: and I understand that was my experience. All the audience
Speaker 1: members can understand that, Yes, I had changel on and
Speaker 1: it was I was in the afterglow of the film,
Speaker 1: and also Chandel was there, so I had to be,
Speaker 1: you know, hyperbolic with my love of the movie. Here
Speaker 1: is the t This is a complix of interest. Already,
Speaker 1: I loved it. I think that it's better than most movies. Really,
Speaker 1: I do, and I do think it will be looked
Speaker 1: back on as a good movie. However, Gaga, I think
Speaker 1: she's amazing, amazing. I think Radley Cooper was fantastic. I
Speaker 1: thought the directing for the most part was excellent, and
Speaker 1: I think for his first movie, it's like a huge victory.
Speaker 1: I thought it looks great. I think the most of
Speaker 1: the music is phenomenal. Where it loses me and this
Speaker 1: is like me as like someone who studied screenwriting, who
Speaker 1: fucking I can't stand this ship is She's the only
Speaker 1: female character in the whole movie, and that sucks. There's Gail,
Speaker 1: and there's there's Gail Haalsy, Dave Chappelle's wife, nameless, nameless,
Speaker 1: and then one of the little girls, one of the
Speaker 1: little girls whatever, and then Gaga and I just feel like,
Speaker 1: here's how you fix the movie. Make that ridiculous British
Speaker 1: cartoon of a manager a woman, fucking Casscarrie Coon in
Speaker 1: that part, watch her get I'm telling you just making
Speaker 1: a female character, because hey, the character has no female
Speaker 1: influence in her life. When she's motherless, she has no
Speaker 1: female friend. She at with people who perform as women.
Speaker 1: She's the kind of check who punches dudes at bars,
Speaker 1: cops at bars. And then you're going to tell me
Speaker 1: that this sucking literal cartoon of a British manager is
Speaker 1: going to come in and say, hey, change everything about
Speaker 1: you that's working musically, which was working. She's becoming like
Speaker 1: a Sarah Barella's figure. And then she turns into fucking
Speaker 1: Katy Perry in a second. Change your whole look, which
Speaker 1: no one's ever brought up a problem with her look.
Speaker 1: Her hair looked great when it was brown. And also,
Speaker 1: I hate your husband and I'm gonna pit you against him.
Speaker 1: It's like, why the fund do we accept this character
Speaker 1: soul wholeheartedly in her life. I understand he's a powerful
Speaker 1: person in the music industry, but I think the movie
Speaker 1: could have helped itself by deepening that are like exploring
Speaker 1: that thing there where there's no female influence in her
Speaker 1: life or but but where you're saying is it's ridiculous
Speaker 1: that the most influential agent of change in that movie
Speaker 1: is that fucking manage, right, because it's totally unearned. It
Speaker 1: it comes out of nowhere. And I think that kind
Speaker 1: of crazy scene where he sits with him at with
Speaker 1: Jackson at the house and says, you know that it's
Speaker 1: a matter of time and so drink again, and also
Speaker 1: you're gonna bear a danger to her and all these things.
Speaker 1: It's like, if this is a female character, at least
Speaker 1: we can understand this is coming from a place of
Speaker 1: like real knowledge about maybe what she's going through or whatever.
Speaker 1: But it's not. It's this ridiculous character. And I think
Speaker 1: that was weird. The fact that they made her into
Speaker 1: this pop star was weird because we see all the time, uh,
Speaker 1: singers like Sarah Burrellis, singers like you know, like any
Speaker 1: sort of like a dolt a don't contemporary scooting artists
Speaker 1: like that's what she could have been. Also, like, if
Speaker 1: you're gonna set the set the movie in country music,
Speaker 1: there's tons of pop country artists like Marion Morris for example,
Speaker 1: that are successful doing what she's doing. Make her into
Speaker 1: that kind of artist. This felt cartoonish to me. And
Speaker 1: also my last thing with it is, yes, I understand
Speaker 1: we have a temple to follow with the other stars born,
Speaker 1: but that this movie does glamorize suicide. It does, and
Speaker 1: it's it says like he died and now she can
Speaker 1: fully be the star that she's always been, and it
Speaker 1: was actually better for her that he passed away in
Speaker 1: a way, that is what that's what's happening. Her true
Speaker 1: artistry only came out after he killed him. But and
Speaker 1: also like I just want to say, there's no way
Speaker 1: he writes that song. It's not in his musical language.
Speaker 1: And I felt that movie trying to be other iconic
Speaker 1: movies where a pop star things at the end a
Speaker 1: little bit. But I thought God was fantastic. I think
Speaker 1: it's a melodrama, and therefore I'm willing to let a
Speaker 1: lot of these things go. I cried three times watching
Speaker 1: the film, and I really enjoyed it and did see
Speaker 1: it three more times after I saw it the first time.
Speaker 1: I loved the movie. I think that it will be
Speaker 1: nominated for a lot of Oscars. I think it will
Speaker 1: win a few Oscars. Not convinced on Gaga. Pretty convinced
Speaker 1: Bradley Cooper will win Best Actor. What I think they're
Speaker 1: not gonna be about. It's not a credit. It's actually
Speaker 1: really light unless they Sam Sam feels like a lock.
Speaker 1: Sam Elliott. Yeah, I liked his performance very much. That
Speaker 1: was one of the times I cried. I thought Proudley
Speaker 1: Cooper was excellent. I think the acting in the movie
Speaker 1: is fantastic, fantastic, and I think that she was great. Wow. Um.
Speaker 1: I hope gay Icon gay ally andrewdyce Clay gets nominated
Speaker 1: to him sharing scenes with fucking Lady Gaga. Fucking if
Speaker 1: it's good enough for her, it's not good enough for you.
Speaker 1: Oh bo, And you need a brush your teeth, Yes
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Speaker 1: g d O n G. And remember that ships everywhere
Speaker 1: by Michelle Branch. Just that your Fleetwood Mac reference was
Speaker 1: Michelle Branch eraiser. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to Okay, absolutely,
Speaker 1: and also everyone should be listening to the Records, which
Speaker 1: is Michelle Branch's other group, the Other Project. Um. Anyway,
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, why did you do that to me?
Speaker 1: As a bob, why did you do that to me? Okay,
Speaker 1: it's at the it's a Diane Warren added to the
Speaker 1: list of Diane Warren classics. I said, here's her triumvirate
Speaker 1: because you love me. I don't want to miss a
Speaker 1: thing that I can't stop talking about why you don't
Speaker 1: know me? And also, I will say Shallow is a
Speaker 1: great moment in movies. Yes, yes, yes, now Joel, Joel, Oh,
Speaker 1: he's am I allowed to speak and I allowed to
Speaker 1: say what I want to say. I haven't been able
Speaker 1: to express these opinions. Here's the thing, here's what I'll say.
Speaker 1: I will I agree with Bowen. I think the first
Speaker 1: forty five minutes is incredible. I think it's so textured.
Speaker 1: I love the scene in the gay bar when they're
Speaker 1: in the parking lots incredible. I think one moment it's
Speaker 1: like writing one on one. It made me so fucking hard.
Speaker 1: Was this fucking cheese puffs in the back? Do you
Speaker 1: like cheese? No? And then we just see the driver
Speaker 1: eating it in the background. Love it. Chef's kiss, great singing,
Speaker 1: Shallows together, a great movie moment. Love. I think the
Speaker 1: performances are fine. Um. I think it is one of
Speaker 1: the worst scripts I have ever sat through in a
Speaker 1: long time, this prestige level movie. There's a line when
Speaker 1: Lady Gaga literally sits across from Bradley Cooper and says
Speaker 1: the phrase, I normally write my songs on the type
Speaker 1: of writer, and it goes unaddressed. It does unaddressed. I
Speaker 1: do not under I almost like I wanted to set
Speaker 1: myself aflame when I heard her say that, And I
Speaker 1: was like, and there was no like p O v
Speaker 1: as like, oh if it was if they made it
Speaker 1: like if Bradley, if they just like shot a shot
Speaker 1: of Bradley Cooper like looking horrified, I would have been satisfied.
Speaker 1: And the and then and the other thing is is
Speaker 1: that the timeline is insane, and I Bradley Cooper has
Speaker 1: said in interviews that he specifically did not want to
Speaker 1: have a montage or anything that like an Ali getting
Speaker 1: famous montage. But there are so many scenes where you
Speaker 1: literally I was like, oh, this is being shot, and
Speaker 1: that people are reacting and speaking as though this is
Speaker 1: four months later, and then you find that it's like
Speaker 1: two days later. And then it's like, what exactly is
Speaker 1: the timeline of her rise? And even more confusing, his
Speaker 1: fall makes no sense. How do you go from selling
Speaker 1: out his stadium to then shoot doing a pharmaceutical like conference.
Speaker 1: It did, and then he goes back to being a
Speaker 1: performer at the Grammys. It makes no sense. And then
Speaker 1: when he disappears and then she shows up and finds him.
Speaker 1: Has she been searching for him for a night? A week?
Speaker 1: How many days has been he wakes up? He wakes up?
Speaker 1: Um terrible. I think one of the greatest mistakes that
Speaker 1: this movie made is that it sets up a very
Speaker 1: compelling conflict for Bradley Cooper that none of the other
Speaker 1: movies touched on, which is the hearing loss tonight. It's great,
Speaker 1: it's great, it's a great thing. It's a great thing
Speaker 1: to layer in. And then they completely drop it, and
Speaker 1: then he ends up killing himself because the manager was
Speaker 1: mean to him. It makes no well. I bought that
Speaker 1: he was very sick. I bought him committing suicide because
Speaker 1: I bought him as very mentally ill. I just don't
Speaker 1: like the way that it was handled, especially Sam Elliott saying,
Speaker 1: you know, this wasn't your fault, it was his fault.
Speaker 1: That message is really problematic. I also think there are
Speaker 1: so many weird emotional jumps that happened in the movie.
Speaker 1: I don't think the punch makes sense. I sense the
Speaker 1: punch is comes from nowhere. It is not does not
Speaker 1: seem motivated by any human emotion that we have ever written.
Speaker 1: She doesn't seem drunk enough. She doesn't seem drunk. He didn't.
Speaker 1: The guy didn't seem aggressive we're supposed to buy. I
Speaker 1: guess that she is just triggered by the the idea
Speaker 1: of someone taking a picture with him. It makes no sense,
Speaker 1: um you for Also, you left out a female character,
Speaker 1: m No, the his wife from Bora. By the way
Speaker 1: that she's at she's a comedian. I'm sorry I had to.
Speaker 1: You know, she was great in that scene. Listen, if
Speaker 1: Tony Colette, if Tony Collette can win a Boston Critics
Speaker 1: Association Award for her turn in the Hours for like
Speaker 1: left fifteen minutes of stage time, then I believe that
Speaker 1: that woman can can win about some break that you
Speaker 1: really have just got. But that is such, that is
Speaker 1: the most eligate thing you said since you, Jalda, know
Speaker 1: that Tony Colette one a sucking Boston Boston Critics Associate
Speaker 1: Association award for her work in the Hours. I think
Speaker 1: Dave Chappelle seen is awful. I really bro really think
Speaker 1: that you can tell. Here's here's a little thing that
Speaker 1: I noticed as well, is that The thing is is
Speaker 1: the bros Are so clearly written, but in Chappelle's actual
Speaker 1: like vocal like pattern, he says man because there is
Speaker 1: a line where he literally says man and Row in
Speaker 1: the same sentence. And it's so distracting because it's clear
Speaker 1: that those bros Are not natural for him, but the
Speaker 1: man's are. So it's it was so distracting. And that song,
Speaker 1: that last song could be a song in any movie.
Speaker 1: It feels like a different from It's from a different
Speaker 1: movie I when I knew Diane Warren. And and also
Speaker 1: we haven't talked about this yet the entire movie, and
Speaker 1: I know that like there's some argument about like what
Speaker 1: the p o v of the movie is, but I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: It does feel very clearly like it has an antipop
Speaker 1: agenda that is like weird and insidious in a way
Speaker 1: that I don't understand. And also I do think that
Speaker 1: why did you do that to me? While I did
Speaker 1: hear it, hearing it in the gay bar, in the
Speaker 1: gay club, it's a great experience and I do love
Speaker 1: to jam to it. It is very fun. But that
Speaker 1: performance on SNL is Jenna Moroni on thirty Rock. It
Speaker 1: is such a parody of was a good pop performances
Speaker 1: and you're supposed to laugh at it. Yeah, it's it
Speaker 1: is Muffin top A Jason and and that made me
Speaker 1: matt because it's like, well, and then I took out
Speaker 1: the dancers because I'm an artist, and it's like, oh,
Speaker 1: so you don't do that. These dancers are gonna be
Speaker 1: like no, we actually have to work. This is there's
Speaker 1: a union bit. Yeah, I feel yeah. Also, I mean, look,
Speaker 1: I think it's I think it's a problem with the
Speaker 1: fact that they made her into that kind of artist.
Speaker 1: She did it. There was nothing about what she was
Speaker 1: doing and why he even liked her. The manager to
Speaker 1: begin with that said let's turn this person into Lady
Speaker 1: Gaga because we didn't even know she could extrac with
Speaker 1: four albums before she went that full. And here's the thing,
Speaker 1: I actually think it very much mirrors what literally happened
Speaker 1: with Katy Perry, because Katy Perry was a warped tour artist.
Speaker 1: She was a musician first and then she became the
Speaker 1: sort of you know, cartoon that she is now. But
Speaker 1: I agree with you about the timeline. I would buy
Speaker 1: that happening because it literally really happened to Katy Perry
Speaker 1: and we see it like happen over time with many
Speaker 1: artists who have to who feel like they have to
Speaker 1: sexualize themselves or do that. But because the timeline was unclear,
Speaker 1: it felt jarring and there was really no moment where
Speaker 1: it was like, you're actually really capable as a pop
Speaker 1: star like this. And another thing that bothered me is
Speaker 1: when she was telling Bradley Cooper about her meeting with
Speaker 1: the guy and she was like, he really likes that
Speaker 1: song from the diner. It's like, when did he hear
Speaker 1: that song? Yeah? That made no sense. And here's the
Speaker 1: here's the other biggest here's the other biggest problem with
Speaker 1: the second half is that it loses track of Lady
Speaker 1: Gaga completely. I do not understand what Ali wants in
Speaker 1: that second half of the movie. I didn't understand what,
Speaker 1: like is her conflicts other than Bradley Cooper's alcoholism. It
Speaker 1: just like I don't. It's like her journey stops as
Speaker 1: soon as the star is born, you know, and then
Speaker 1: like and then it turns into a full his vehicle
Speaker 1: and it doesn't I don't know, because like we're so
Speaker 1: locked into her the wish fulfillment of her turn me
Speaker 1: in the first half of the movie, and that is
Speaker 1: compelling to me in a way that like, because listen,
Speaker 1: this movie is a can't melodrama in general, it's like
Speaker 1: redoing a myth, like where I did not go into this.
Speaker 1: Once I realized that this movie is a melodrama and
Speaker 1: judging it on that, grading it on that curve, it's like, fine,
Speaker 1: it doesn't need to reinvent the wheel. It does not
Speaker 1: need to surprise me with its storytelling. But there is
Speaker 1: an interesting that you can do a well trod story well.
Speaker 1: And I think the first half of the movie does that.
Speaker 1: I think the first half of the movie reinvents that
Speaker 1: myth in a way that's really compelling and interesting to watch.
Speaker 1: And I think the second half of the movie does
Speaker 1: nothing but pile cliche on top of cliche on top
Speaker 1: of its well established world. It completely leaves a well
Speaker 1: established and where do they live? Where do Ali and
Speaker 1: her father live? That is a mystery and the other yeah,
Speaker 1: they'll have Jersey accents. It's crazy. Oh and here's uh, listen,
Speaker 1: I could go on. I actually think anything. Uh, Andrew
Speaker 1: Day's Clay is better than Sam. He's really got that too.
Speaker 1: I was like, I think he's it's really good. I
Speaker 1: think Sam uh Elliot Elliott has some real, like hard
Speaker 1: scenes to pull off. The scene work switch that was
Speaker 1: such a switch as soon as they got into what
Speaker 1: we called in theater school, the kisser hit range. I
Speaker 1: started speaking about three centimeters away from each other's faces,
Speaker 1: like it was a switch that like again did not
Speaker 1: feel motivated and like you could tell like Sam Elliott
Speaker 1: was as an actor, was like, I guess I have
Speaker 1: to fill in the blanks here and get there. Myself
Speaker 1: self motivated to get there, but there's nothing in the
Speaker 1: script that like I did not understand the switch from
Speaker 1: the like anger to like true tears. Him backing out
Speaker 1: of the driveway was great. I think Andrew dice Clay,
Speaker 1: if he had one more scene, would have a better
Speaker 1: chance of being nominated for Best Supporting than Sam Neil Well.
Speaker 1: That that last scene where he's like um saying, you
Speaker 1: know the twelve notes thing that was supposed to be
Speaker 1: a scene between Andrew dice Clay and Lady Gaga and
Speaker 1: Radley Cooper at the last second called Sam Elliott and
Speaker 1: said had to be him because he wanted that connection
Speaker 1: between and here's what I'll say about Bradley Cooper's performance,
Speaker 1: and I'm torn. It's so funny because I have, I have,
Speaker 1: I've changed my position depending on who I've spoken to
Speaker 1: a number of times, because there is like a literal
Speaker 1: whisper network of gay men in l A who like,
Speaker 1: do not like this movie, and are too afraid to
Speaker 1: speak out about it. I know that I'm about to
Speaker 1: shed about a thousand followers on Twitter because if my
Speaker 1: my views, you know, I think everyone, I think everyone.
Speaker 1: This movie isn't perfect. Know, I've seen people. There are
Speaker 1: people going so hard. I saw someone who very lightly
Speaker 1: was like, you know, the movie sort of goes downhill
Speaker 1: after they sing the Shallows together, And a critic jumped
Speaker 1: in the thread and was like, that's the point. The
Speaker 1: point is that you know they're the rest of their
Speaker 1: relationship is chasing after that. And listen, I understand that
Speaker 1: that could be an interesting avenue to take for this movie,
Speaker 1: but you can also make it interesting to watch as well.
Speaker 1: It doesn't have to like the audience doesn't have to
Speaker 1: feel the malaise about what the characters are feeling for
Speaker 1: that to work. And the other and the last thing
Speaker 1: I'll say is there are so much Kike on faces,
Speaker 1: so much frosting on faces, and does acne not exist
Speaker 1: in this world? Does that is everyone just getting chemical
Speaker 1: peels every single fucking day, because oh my god, I couldn't.
Speaker 1: I couldn't watch the cream cheese, like when she announces
Speaker 1: that she like is signed, or when she says the
Speaker 1: manager thing and he's obviously drunk and he takes the
Speaker 1: kike and puts it in her face. I thought that
Speaker 1: was like a really good example of their I think,
Speaker 1: really good chemistry. But then give them that. But then
Speaker 1: the next one was where it was like you you
Speaker 1: were nervous, as the audiences, as the audience just being
Speaker 1: like wait a minute. And that was a moment for
Speaker 1: me where I was like maybe I was just not
Speaker 1: responding in the right way. But I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I don't think this movie knows is pulling off. I
Speaker 1: think it was supposed to be supposed to be a
Speaker 1: little bit. I think that is the microcrossm of the
Speaker 1: whole movie. Like that is the movie where small it's like, oh,
Speaker 1: does this movie know what it's trying to do? After
Speaker 1: I always remember us this way the the Bread and
Speaker 1: Magic comes in. It's it's interesting because I do feel
Speaker 1: like people either every single person almost that I've spoken
Speaker 1: to who's left that movie has been like, Lady Gaga
Speaker 1: is great, but I actually think Bradley Cooper is is
Speaker 1: overrated or actually don't didn't really like Gaga and I
Speaker 1: think Bradley Cooper is a revelation. And I've spoken to
Speaker 1: many people on both sides, and every time I've been like, yes,
Speaker 1: I agree, Um, you could win an Oscar for that
Speaker 1: scene alone. I apologize. Do the thing is is I
Speaker 1: just I ultimately don't think that you you I walked
Speaker 1: away from this movie I think feeling any strong feelings
Speaker 1: differently about them. I love them both, and but I
Speaker 1: guess for me with Bradley Cooper is I did not
Speaker 1: find it a transformative enfix of a performance to not
Speaker 1: be distracted by the fact that I was watching Bradley
Speaker 1: Cooper do this character. Okay, I disagree with that, and
Speaker 1: I think, well, and I think it's it's it's sort
Speaker 1: of like that is that is a me issue because
Speaker 1: I was not able to like turn off that part
Speaker 1: of my brain and I think, like, yeah, that is
Speaker 1: that that's the cure, that's the remedy. I will say,
Speaker 1: Can I say something, Um, It's very funny because Matt
Speaker 1: was over at my apartment before we were very late
Speaker 1: to this recording, and Matt was just looking up gags
Speaker 1: for a game show at his show with Dave, and
Speaker 1: he was playing clips of Titanic of Rose, of the
Speaker 1: Course It's seen, and just we were just quoting that
Speaker 1: dialogue back and forth because it's just in our bones,
Speaker 1: and we were just laughing at how stupid the writing is.
Speaker 1: And I'm realizing, you know, the money's gone. Of course
Speaker 1: it's gone. You remind me every day. It's like terrible
Speaker 1: writing choice is ever okay? And I think you distress.
Speaker 1: Why are you being so selfish? If it's truly so silly?
Speaker 1: Script is so bad? I think this, And whoever that
Speaker 1: critic was that you quoted as saying, like it feels
Speaker 1: like Titanic. It's like the buzzes, It's like Sasha Stone
Speaker 1: is being so extra okay, But I feel like it's
Speaker 1: it's it's it does feel in some way comparable type
Speaker 1: to Titanic, where this cultural conversation is maddening and we're
Speaker 1: talking around in circles. It's La La Land again. And
Speaker 1: I will say this, it's the same complaints I had
Speaker 1: with La La Land, where the script is horrid and
Speaker 1: there's a first half of the movie that is brilliant,
Speaker 1: and then you get that fucking stupid I'm sorry. La
Speaker 1: La Land has one of the worst scenes we've seen
Speaker 1: in modern cinema history. Is the argument between them when
Speaker 1: I decided to break up, when when he's made her
Speaker 1: dinner or whatever, and the literally it's literally they have
Speaker 1: an argument because the movie needs them to break up.
Speaker 1: It's not earned, it's not motivated. They're great, but they
Speaker 1: can't even I do. I agree that that scene is bad,
Speaker 1: but I also find it laughable. Some of the people
Speaker 1: who stand so hard for a star is born, who
Speaker 1: went so hard in on La La Land, and I
Speaker 1: do not think that the quality wise these movies have
Speaker 1: a gulf between them. I really like. And the thing
Speaker 1: is is I liked La La La La La La,
Speaker 1: and I like fine. I think there's better acting in
Speaker 1: La La Land than there is I think deserve. I
Speaker 1: can't remember who else was up for it that year.
Speaker 1: I can't imagine she did because but but I do
Speaker 1: love her, and I think she was gray but and
Speaker 1: I think she's probably better than Gaga is in this movie.
Speaker 1: But and the music is better in the Stars Born
Speaker 1: that I would definitely like Passagin Paul. I could say
Speaker 1: some things, but oh, I just think they're they're bad
Speaker 1: musical theater writers. I think they they're good individual songs.
Speaker 1: Here's the thing. Here's the thing, and it is it
Speaker 1: is the most emblematic in the Greatest Showman. Is that
Speaker 1: because they these boys came up in in the song
Speaker 1: cycle generation of musical theater writers. They're good at writing
Speaker 1: an individual song like Waving through a Window is one
Speaker 1: of the most gorgeous like musical theaters. Uh, songs for
Speaker 1: that Boy and for Forever as great as well. But
Speaker 1: like some a lot of these, like especially in The
Speaker 1: Greatest Showman this is Me. I love it, you know,
Speaker 1: I love the Greatest. But the problem is is none
Speaker 1: of those songs moved the plot forward in a classically
Speaker 1: like musical theater way. It's this is who is she
Speaker 1: singing to? Who is the who is the who is
Speaker 1: she singing to? What does she want at the end
Speaker 1: of the song? Does she win? Does she lose? Like
Speaker 1: as a dramatic writer questions, you should be asking yourself
Speaker 1: about the songs of your musical. The only song that
Speaker 1: does that, and the Greatest Showman is I think a
Speaker 1: Million Dreams like the very first song, but there's a man.
Speaker 1: There are three songs and Greatest Showman are fucking You
Speaker 1: could watch peint dry and it will be more exciting.
Speaker 1: I love a Million Dreams. There are three bops in
Speaker 1: a row. It's rewrite the Stars, Bob City Bitch, this
Speaker 1: is this is me, Bob Deep Bop. And then Michelle
Speaker 1: Williams and her ass walking a tight rope. Mama, Oh,
Speaker 1: rewrite the Stars. It's very good. Um. Also, I do
Speaker 1: love and never never Enough. Shout out to my friend
Speaker 1: Dance Later, who remixed never Enough. It is the e
Speaker 1: d It is the definitive e d M remix of
Speaker 1: never Enough. That was the backdrop for Wow. That's culture.
Speaker 1: But also you know that the actress that played that
Speaker 1: parts the only person that Rebecca Ferguson couldn't couldn't voice
Speaker 1: Season four or five estant that is that is about
Speaker 1: as best as you can hope for its contestant. One Yeah,
Speaker 1: uncredited appearance. And this is Lauren already is literally touring
Speaker 1: right now with Symphonies where she walks out, sings that
Speaker 1: song and then leaves and she and she's getting paid
Speaker 1: a million a million. Oh, you have not lived until
Speaker 1: you are fucking like on the come up of Molly.
Speaker 1: Sucking song comes on in a circuit party at they
Speaker 1: am and you're scripting because it is it is such
Speaker 1: a good it's so good, that's so good. But again,
Speaker 1: what how does it move the story forward in anything?
Speaker 1: I think because it's the moment when he falls in
Speaker 1: love with her and Michelle is like, I'm losing. Also, um,
Speaker 1: the song the duet between Hugh and Zach is pretty
Speaker 1: good too. Not a good song, but in terms of
Speaker 1: like moving moving the Platford. But even the song at
Speaker 1: the end when like he decides to like go and reopen,
Speaker 1: it is like a stirring song where it's like do
Speaker 1: do We're all and it's like it starts at zero
Speaker 1: and then there's a song and then the story is
Speaker 1: starts again in a completely same place. Zach is good.
Speaker 1: You can miss it, you can tell you that isn't
Speaker 1: there during fucking Dirty Grandpa, I'm sorry. And he's so
Speaker 1: much hotter when he's doing musical, he really is. He's
Speaker 1: good at it, he's gonna But when he's doing these
Speaker 1: broad fraddy comedies, I'm like, I'm sorry, but you seem
Speaker 1: like everyone else right now. And he loves talents that
Speaker 1: are not what musical will we cast Zack and Zack
Speaker 1: and like Boch and Wicked. No, he could he would
Speaker 1: be a good fierro. No, that's what I meant. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, sorry, not would you would be a good
Speaker 1: I always that this is a sad thing about being
Speaker 1: a little gay person of Keller, is that like the
Speaker 1: roles that you dream of, we couldn't have thought better
Speaker 1: for ourselves. We were like, God, I hope I get
Speaker 1: to be boxed someday because that's what I thought, That's
Speaker 1: what I thought was available to at the time. That's true.
Speaker 1: I mean, he's so good in hair spray too. He's
Speaker 1: he's really talented. I mean, and also he plays those
Speaker 1: kinds of parts well and it's just like you don't know,
Speaker 1: I mean, I think he's too roided out now. That's
Speaker 1: this is the sucked up thing about l A that
Speaker 1: I've really and this has actually helped my body is
Speaker 1: more feel a lot. Moving to l A wildly moving
Speaker 1: to l A has helped my body image issues because
Speaker 1: I am now so privy to how prevalent steroid usages
Speaker 1: and especially in our community, and like everybody that I
Speaker 1: thought was attainable like just through hard work and diet
Speaker 1: alone is not. And it's just like and now I've
Speaker 1: I've become a real expert in spotting and being like
Speaker 1: and just being okay with like the progress that I'm
Speaker 1: making because and the thing is is I have nothing
Speaker 1: morally against steroids. I if I had the backnee real
Speaker 1: estate to give up to do if you wanted the
Speaker 1: knob nipples, if I if I listen, I love my genitals,
Speaker 1: but I truly do not have a centimeter to give
Speaker 1: up with my balls, you know, like like there, it's
Speaker 1: just like I'm walking a fine line as it is,
Speaker 1: and I just need all of the space down there
Speaker 1: that I can get, and so I cannot do the steroids.
Speaker 1: But the it, like my thing is is like all
Speaker 1: these Instagram models who are like, you can get here too,
Speaker 1: if you just like follow my program and give me
Speaker 1: forty dollars and I'll give it to you. It's so
Speaker 1: disons actually, speaking of venom, Tom Hardy Bisexual Icon is
Speaker 1: one of the only people who's done one of those
Speaker 1: movies in recent history. When he was baying in the
Speaker 1: dark Night. There's like press junket interviews with him where
Speaker 1: they're like, how did you gain all this way for
Speaker 1: the role? Did you eat a lot of fish? And
Speaker 1: he's like, no steroids. It's just like, yeah, he was
Speaker 1: Like I think he was a little bit cheecker about
Speaker 1: than that, but like he's like one of the only
Speaker 1: people who like fully to be like because it's like
Speaker 1: all the Chris is there's no way they all got there.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. S Worth's body is freakish. Chris Hemsworth's body
Speaker 1: is it's like carved out of stone. It's Evans. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and yeah, Pine is pretty natural. That looks just like
Speaker 1: he goes to the gym, you know whose body I
Speaker 1: always see on Instagram And I'm like, I would kill
Speaker 1: the out of this body, which I probably I probably
Speaker 1: would have to sell my soul to the devil is
Speaker 1: cold Haynes. He looks like he doesn't eat though. Coulton, No,
Speaker 1: he has to eat his ship and he's huge. He's
Speaker 1: so skinny, that's and what do you mean like he's
Speaker 1: so his body fat percentage is very low, which means
Speaker 1: he probably does use steroids because it's really difficult to
Speaker 1: be that large without having I'm sure his body fat
Speaker 1: is like at six or seven percent, and he's large
Speaker 1: and lean, and that is Colton Haynes. Yes, he's large. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Have you ever seen him? And I never seen him
Speaker 1: in person. He's a big boy. He's a big boy. O. God,
Speaker 1: you know I didn't. I didn't think of him as
Speaker 1: being big. Yeah. Well, I mean, did you see him
Speaker 1: rough Night where he plays the stripper? Yeah? I didn't.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I don't remember it. Well, I don't on screen.
Speaker 1: I'm always just like I never really understand like what
Speaker 1: depth perception. I guess sure by the way rough Knight
Speaker 1: just I think I saw it on a plane on
Speaker 1: a plane. That might like be like influencing my review
Speaker 1: of it, but I think it's like truly the funniest movie.
Speaker 1: Do you feel do you feel like movies are better
Speaker 1: on planes? I do? Oh, okay. Always a guy who
Speaker 1: dumped me like had this whole thing where he was like,
Speaker 1: you have to drink a glass of white wine before
Speaker 1: you get on this plane and watch Greatest Showman because
Speaker 1: you will fucking lose it. And well, the altitude really
Speaker 1: does suck you up in a big way too, Because
Speaker 1: I have sobbed so many times on planes watching movies
Speaker 1: where I'm like, why am I crying watching this movie? Again? Um?
Speaker 1: But is the what not? Is that the internship or
Speaker 1: the intern the and Hathaway Robert wept. I love them,
Speaker 1: I will say. I sobbed watching the live action Beauty
Speaker 1: and the Beast recently on the plane. And here's another
Speaker 1: hot take. Live action Beauty and the Beast, don't do this.
Speaker 1: It's better than you have said that, and you're it's
Speaker 1: not better. It's not better. I will say if I
Speaker 1: were to if I were watching the cartoon, if I
Speaker 1: were watching the cartoon, I were watching the cartoon, I
Speaker 1: would say, I have some notes, And then if I
Speaker 1: watch the live action I would be like, Okay, they
Speaker 1: took some of my notes because here's the things, here's
Speaker 1: we need to recast the dishwasher who's playing Well, here's
Speaker 1: the thing. Here's the thing live action solves story wise
Speaker 1: for me? Is that A I do like that they
Speaker 1: made Bell the inventor in the live action agency. I
Speaker 1: think it's it's a better play. I think too. They
Speaker 1: solve a huge problem with the cartoon, which is why
Speaker 1: does no one remember this castle exists? Until all of
Speaker 1: the events of this movie. Yes, but they only that's
Speaker 1: only from the live action. The whole town forgets. And
Speaker 1: then they add this actually truly dark layer, is that
Speaker 1: all the servants who are now fucking items in the
Speaker 1: in the castle have fan families in the town that
Speaker 1: have forgotten all about them, and that they're reunited. And
Speaker 1: then the other thing is there's this urgency in the
Speaker 1: live action because there's not only will they stay clocks
Speaker 1: and dusters and stuff like that, but they lose their
Speaker 1: their agency, they lose like their humanity, basically like they're
Speaker 1: slowly turning more and more into and out of objects,
Speaker 1: which is terrific. And then also Audre McDonald and the
Speaker 1: piano are married in the live action, and there is
Speaker 1: a very sad sort of undercurrent of this subplot where
Speaker 1: they haven't seen each other in years because she's a
Speaker 1: fucking chest of drawers up in her room and he's
Speaker 1: the grand piano and so they're trapped and they can't
Speaker 1: see each other. Wow, it's really sad and it's dark,
Speaker 1: and it's dark. As a screenwriter, you must appreciate. I
Speaker 1: appreciate these changes. But the fact of the matter is
Speaker 1: they add songs which slow the movie down? Do they
Speaker 1: just They also add that weird subplot, which doesn't exactly work.
Speaker 1: It doesn't add anything. And also, Emma Watson does sound.
Speaker 1: Emma Watson sounds like a dishwash. She sounds like a
Speaker 1: Cassio keyboard. She sounds like it sounds like you're doing
Speaker 1: scales on a She's like she's practicing. Is good. I
Speaker 1: don't know, I actually I and this might be just
Speaker 1: shout out to Sudie Green, who once texted me, Emma
Speaker 1: Stone is amazing. I love her. She is hermione and
Speaker 1: carries that legacy. And I said Emma Watson, babe, and
Speaker 1: she goes fuck, but it was too late and had
Speaker 1: already been posted to Instagram. That's something no one knows about.
Speaker 1: Commonly commonly masses up celebrities names. She once called Christine
Speaker 1: Baranski Christie Brinkley when she was one of my favorites.
Speaker 1: She's a child of immigrants. Stop o g who faced
Speaker 1: Christine Bransky. Chris Colford was Chris Koffner. That's I mean,
Speaker 1: that's fair. Though he's a secret hottie too, would bang okay,
Speaker 1: I feel like he was he was he doing stuff.
Speaker 1: He's not really doing anything. And he actually wrote a movie.
Speaker 1: He wrote a movie good for him, but I don't
Speaker 1: know if it was received. But I remember towards the
Speaker 1: end of Glee, like I would check back in with
Speaker 1: Glee because in the beginning he was like, you know,
Speaker 1: dorky looking Chris Kolfor and then at the end they
Speaker 1: like did his hair, he got a little body on
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, Shore, that's that game. It's
Speaker 1: such a baby faced money you know, don't get money money.
Speaker 1: What were you about to say, Jolie, it's not important. No,
Speaker 1: you guys have you're having fun. It's cool. What well
Speaker 1: you know you're having what's going on? I still don't
Speaker 1: understand how to use that catch face, Like okay, so
Speaker 1: so let's say I'll be like, um, Jennifer Hudson does
Speaker 1: not have a good voice. Do you feel this way? Yes? Exactly,
Speaker 1: that's it. That's it. Imagine saying those words. But that's
Speaker 1: just like an extreme example. We should shout out at
Speaker 1: this point the group text that Mujoel and Nicole Silverberger on,
Speaker 1: which has no name, but it's basically the voice it is.
Speaker 1: It is the three people in our lives that talk
Speaker 1: about the boss and watch the voice regularly. It's very difficult.
Speaker 1: It's a great season right now. It's great. It's good.
Speaker 1: It's good. I mean the judges are are good. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm good. Comb The show is not about the contestants.
Speaker 1: The show will never create a star. Never say something
Speaker 1: the trees. It's mission. It does it does not, it
Speaker 1: does not because I don't think the mission was ever
Speaker 1: to be like American Idol, We're going to create a superstar.
Speaker 1: I think the mission from the beginning was this is
Speaker 1: a show where four judges compete. No, I really do
Speaker 1: think it started up because the thing is to look
Speaker 1: at the careers of the people that's the four that started.
Speaker 1: They were not a listers at the time. They the
Speaker 1: voice was not getting a listers from the start. They're
Speaker 1: only getting a listers now. You wouldn't consider at the time.
Speaker 1: First of all, I think Christina was not five was
Speaker 1: a huge band. It was a huge band, but he
Speaker 1: But the thing is is we're a huge deal, not
Speaker 1: in terms of current records, in terms of being a celebrity.
Speaker 1: But she she was a has been celebrity at that point.
Speaker 1: I don't think what was her hit? Let that be
Speaker 1: love here here. This is the first time the first time.
Speaker 1: That's you need to see treatment. That's a great song.
Speaker 1: And then Celo at the time was like Celo was
Speaker 1: big before he was like doing whatever he was doing,
Speaker 1: selling math, two Kids or whatever the fuck you got
Speaker 1: caught doing. Blake Shelton was a huge country artist. There
Speaker 1: you go. So but I think I think that Kelly, Jennifer,
Speaker 1: Blake and Adam now it's a different. This is the
Speaker 1: problem is that the show doesn't know what its mission is.
Speaker 1: I think that's my theory, even though I I don't
Speaker 1: watch the show. It is a place to come on
Speaker 1: and rehab your career if you're a pop star. That's
Speaker 1: the thing. I mean, that's what went Stefani did. It's
Speaker 1: a place to launch your next project. As do you
Speaker 1: hear that the sounds of people honking out there is
Speaker 1: there is like Christina Aguilera and her fans and her
Speaker 1: fourteen fans out there, like how dare you? I'm an
Speaker 1: a listener. Christina's out there, and I mean she's fine.
Speaker 1: I just I don't know. I do love I love
Speaker 1: the other iterations of the voice too. I love Voice Australia.
Speaker 1: When I was in Australia, I watched so much Voice
Speaker 1: Australia and they did some fucked up shipped to people there.
Speaker 1: They did some fucked up like they had these brothers
Speaker 1: on and they did this whole package and it was
Speaker 1: like we're very competitive and we're both hot and we're
Speaker 1: both going to get on the Voice. And then they
Speaker 1: auditioned one after the other and then one on one
Speaker 1: gets on and the other does not, and it is
Speaker 1: They do that ship a lot, though it's heartbreaking not expected.
Speaker 1: I'm the new American Idol, which I fully hope doesn't
Speaker 1: come back. There was like this one girl who was like,
Speaker 1: I want to be a pop star and I'm my
Speaker 1: name is like mackensas or something, and mckensas, I'm from
Speaker 1: whatever town and girl, I'm a pop star. Okay, look
Speaker 1: at my short short dress and my my fucking amazing hair.
Speaker 1: And the sister was like, Ali, Hi, my name is
Speaker 1: um Rebecca and I am her sister, and um, you know,
Speaker 1: I played the guitar. Definitely, it's one of my interests.
Speaker 1: But I'm here to watch her. Like Katie Perry listens
Speaker 1: to mckensas thing and she's like, let me take me down,
Speaker 1: Like I'm a damn I know, and they're like, wow,
Speaker 1: that was kind of good. Wow. She's like, I have
Speaker 1: a sister, and they're like wow, let's see her. And
Speaker 1: she just comes in with her guitar like what am
Speaker 1: I doing here? It's so staged, and she does this
Speaker 1: like transcendent performance of like fu Can and they're all
Speaker 1: crying and they're like, you're a star. You can both
Speaker 1: go to Hollywood, but you're a star. Mckensas is like, um, hello,
Speaker 1: what's about me? Mackensas, you never heard them again? I
Speaker 1: love this play. This one play off Broadway, bitch, take
Speaker 1: it off. It's show Rebecca. I will do it, do it?
Speaker 1: I mean, man, I are trying to write the show that.
Speaker 1: I just had this idea where we should write. I want.
Speaker 1: I want to see our next our next live show,
Speaker 1: to be our next play, to be like Charlie's Angels.
Speaker 1: Ish you say, our next play, because before you all
Speaker 1: knew who we even were, we were doing ours nova
Speaker 1: show called night Soap, which is truly my proudest work.
Speaker 1: It's our greatest effort and there's no record of it,
Speaker 1: no record of it. We might do it again. Um
Speaker 1: to play right here, play right? I haven't written a
Speaker 1: play in years. Don't you've written for the screen. Yeah,
Speaker 1: plays for the screen, the screen, and they're I'm working
Speaker 1: on new scripts. Oh maybe trying to get staffed soon, Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: getting make an effort, I hope. So it's going to
Speaker 1: be a little Lost Angeles baby with me. I think
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go in January, don't see, I'm going I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be We're gonna start our own podcast called I'm
Speaker 1: Gonna Become one of the l A Gays, and we're
Speaker 1: going to play that game with our phones on our
Speaker 1: forehead with the only best supporting actress winners. Wow, that
Speaker 1: was the most stressful moment in my entire life watching you. No,
Speaker 1: I wasn't shady, but like I was just like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm out of my It's a very different edge I
Speaker 1: will say out there and I can talk about it
Speaker 1: because I know none of them support me and are
Speaker 1: listening right now. I don't think any of them. I
Speaker 1: love my friends. I do. I do. I love my
Speaker 1: friends out there so much. They're so important to me.
Speaker 1: They keep me afloat, they keep me grounded. The thing is, like,
Speaker 1: I know that if I were to move out there,
Speaker 1: that's who I would hang out. There's there's no doubt
Speaker 1: about that. UM. But I will say like, one of
Speaker 1: the things that um, if you're moving across the country
Speaker 1: and leaving your closest friends behind. One of the things
Speaker 1: that I think was really hard for me when I
Speaker 1: was in it was that I tried to replace you
Speaker 1: guys with them and they're different, trying to make it
Speaker 1: like I tried to experience the same things that I
Speaker 1: did with you guys with them. And as soon as
Speaker 1: I dropped that in my brain and I was like,
Speaker 1: oh no, they're like different friends, and like it's a
Speaker 1: different kind of friendship and still good like and still
Speaker 1: very deep and loving and whatever, I was so much
Speaker 1: happier and healthier because I wasn't trying to be like
Speaker 1: I need my bowen, you know, and you will be
Speaker 1: my new bowen. Like because there's there's only one is
Speaker 1: there only one me? There's a couple of mats, there's
Speaker 1: a couple of maximum, several maths, basically beach several mats.
Speaker 1: It's hard, Elie is hard this years listen. I'll say
Speaker 1: it like I always feel like this is the other
Speaker 1: thing I feel when I do this podcast, is I
Speaker 1: am coming off the heels of like a huge professional
Speaker 1: failure in some aspect. And it's been a tough year.
Speaker 1: It's been a tough year, and it's been talking about
Speaker 1: failure is like is important as as talking about successes.
Speaker 1: And I said this to you guys to via text
Speaker 1: the other day because people and I get that, like
Speaker 1: my version of failure quote unquote over the past year
Speaker 1: is graded on a curve over the course of my career.
Speaker 1: And like if if if you told me six years
Speaker 1: ago that this is what failure, it would be insane,
Speaker 1: but like, and but you have to understand because like
Speaker 1: people are watching from social media, and I do think
Speaker 1: that this year for me, it's been about half as
Speaker 1: good as I've made it seen on social media, but
Speaker 1: twice as good as it is in my own mind,
Speaker 1: you know. And it's just hard, you know, like I've
Speaker 1: had Uh it just doesn't feel like I'm going into
Speaker 1: twenty nineteen with any like anything new, exact same way.
Speaker 1: And I also know that, like if I were actually
Speaker 1: get over myself for a second and look at myself
Speaker 1: from the outside in, I'd be like, well, you're just
Speaker 1: being like a fatalist. And I know you have those
Speaker 1: sentencies as well, I've never really been like that until
Speaker 1: this year, and now it's like I think I'm experiencing
Speaker 1: things that I'm like perceiving as failures for the first
Speaker 1: time consecutively, personally, professionally, sort of emotionally, like in terms
Speaker 1: of self confidence. And that's just, like, I think, actually
Speaker 1: a good experience because it's keys you into the reality
Speaker 1: of this industry that we're trying to do and also
Speaker 1: the reality of being an adult and the reality of life,
Speaker 1: which is that not everything just happens and either it's
Speaker 1: not as clean, it's not upward trectories like sometimes you know,
Speaker 1: and that seems like so basic to say, but we
Speaker 1: all know that about the industry, but it's just like
Speaker 1: it's hard to expect. You have to be reminded. This
Speaker 1: is my thing, is that no matter where you're positioned,
Speaker 1: and like if you do feel like that, if you
Speaker 1: do feel like in any given moment you are being
Speaker 1: successful or failing, like there's really nothing to do with that.
Speaker 1: You don't there's nothing to do with that information. There's
Speaker 1: not actionable thing that you do with that. So like, right,
Speaker 1: I think was something that bothers me sometimes and like
Speaker 1: this is something that actively bothers me is like, but
Speaker 1: I wish I didn't let it is just the money
Speaker 1: aspect of things, like when I feel like friends leave
Speaker 1: my tax bracket, I'm always like, oh now I And
Speaker 1: that's like something that's and maybe people that listen to
Speaker 1: this can relate to that, just like constantly trying to,
Speaker 1: especially in a creative career, like earn enough money to
Speaker 1: keep up with the Jones is in a way because
Speaker 1: because I think with social media. I was talking to
Speaker 1: study about this today. I was talking about how I
Speaker 1: have issues with myself confidence lately, like in every area
Speaker 1: of my life, and she's like, it's social media, and
Speaker 1: I think. I think it's like actually really true. Well,
Speaker 1: and you know, and I spoke about this earlier on
Speaker 1: a different Forever Dog podcast, But this is in the
Speaker 1: year two where I realized for myself that the apps
Speaker 1: and I still use the apps, especially when I am
Speaker 1: on the road, traveling or whatever. But so I worked
Speaker 1: at Gay Careers famously this year and I had sex
Speaker 1: with some of the hottest people I've ever had sex
Speaker 1: with people outside of my tax bracket looks wise, you know,
Speaker 1: outside and what I realized and I have I have
Speaker 1: been connected to the my self worth to the apps
Speaker 1: and my how I test on the apps and like
Speaker 1: and in a way that like I realized, like on
Speaker 1: the boat where none of us were on apps because
Speaker 1: that we were at sea. Um, this is that my
Speaker 1: person It is like I do so much better when
Speaker 1: I'm face to face with someone and they better in
Speaker 1: the room. I test better in the room. I test
Speaker 1: better in the room. And it is because, like I
Speaker 1: think people, my pictures are like fine, but my personality
Speaker 1: is what carries me over through you know, people want
Speaker 1: to it's weird And I've always been like personality who
Speaker 1: does not matter. Gay men do not care about personality.
Speaker 1: But I think that's so. But there is an energy no,
Speaker 1: because I agree, Like there are certain people in my
Speaker 1: life whole you will get crushes on where I'm like,
Speaker 1: this person is physically repulsive to me. This person is disgusting.
Speaker 1: Want to I want them to ruin mesute. Honestly, I
Speaker 1: thought I had a crush on someone for such a
Speaker 1: long time, and I think it's because my brain convinced
Speaker 1: me that I had a crush on them. Also, that
Speaker 1: person is very much a player in this social media
Speaker 1: game where like they are putting forward a very specific image.
Speaker 1: I think every single person does that. But what I'm
Speaker 1: saying is that there is so much to do with
Speaker 1: like your brain convincing you I like this person because
Speaker 1: I feel like I should like them, and then you
Speaker 1: get to know especially in the gay community, I think
Speaker 1: it's like, oh, that attractive single person, I like them,
Speaker 1: and then you're like you get to know them, and
Speaker 1: you're like, no, that person is like a friend to me,
Speaker 1: and nothing about this energy is like sexual or romantic.
Speaker 1: But your brain has tricked you into thinking school to
Speaker 1: do well. I found that I have to I have to.
Speaker 1: I came to this a couple of years ago, and
Speaker 1: I think we've talked about this before, but there is
Speaker 1: as like an Asian person in the gay community, there
Speaker 1: is a weird undercurrent of like entitlement with guys that
Speaker 1: are attracted to me, Like I do feel like there
Speaker 1: is like sometimes running underneath the surface of my uh
Speaker 1: interactions with people who are attracting me, where they're like,
Speaker 1: you should be so glad you are indebted to me.
Speaker 1: Crazy And I get it from strangers on apps, and
Speaker 1: I get it from people in my real life where
Speaker 1: I think they because they are aware of the power
Speaker 1: dynamics within our community. They think, well, like, what a
Speaker 1: catch for him? I think, yeah, and I think it's that,
Speaker 1: and I think it's like sometimes I get this weird
Speaker 1: sense that like, guys are like, what a hero I
Speaker 1: am for being attracted to? And I don't think it's
Speaker 1: me projecting. I don't think it's no, I really And
Speaker 1: it's something I struggle with probably definitely right that those
Speaker 1: guys think that, well, yeah, yeah, they're like, wow, I'm
Speaker 1: day an Asian. Cool, it's soup, but whatever, it's tough.
Speaker 1: It's tough. I I can't even tell you, guys where
Speaker 1: I'm out in terms of the self esteem stuff. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I don't even I feel like it's I feel like
Speaker 1: it's showing in a way I think your confidence has
Speaker 1: been so far up, up, up, up, since even just
Speaker 1: the summer. Really, I think it's emanating from you in
Speaker 1: a different way, Like I'm getting confidence from you in
Speaker 1: a way that I haven't seen at all. Post trip.
Speaker 1: It helped trip, and someone at this table might be
Speaker 1: experiencing it for the first time. Later, there's three people.
Speaker 1: We're doing a little Upstate Garrison trip, up state venture
Speaker 1: into the woods, and I am and I am. I'm
Speaker 1: like I was talking about this in therapy. It's like
Speaker 1: it's not going to be the same as that first
Speaker 1: time on Fire Island, but it will be different and
Speaker 1: beautiful in its own way. I'm interested in having the experience.
Speaker 1: What do you hope to get out of the trip?
Speaker 1: Um tans my life, Ickensis. I want to become mckenzas.
Speaker 1: I kind of am mckensas. Yeah, here's what I want.
Speaker 1: Here's what I want. I want to clear my mind
Speaker 1: so that I'm like I want. I would like to
Speaker 1: clear my mind on this trip and so that I
Speaker 1: can just access what I like about myself again, because
Speaker 1: I'm telling you, like every time this is really I
Speaker 1: felt not attractive, I felt not funny. I've just felt
Speaker 1: like I'm forcing everything. I also think it's because you know,
Speaker 1: this is whatever, But like this was the year that
Speaker 1: like my ex boyfriend from my only relationship I've ever
Speaker 1: ever had, like truly moved on someone sort of broke
Speaker 1: my heart that I had feelings for um I open.
Speaker 1: I felt like I was trying to open myself up
Speaker 1: and things didn't really happen, Like professionally, I had a
Speaker 1: big disappointment, you know, what I mean, like I I
Speaker 1: someone I'm directly in like I've always you know, it's
Speaker 1: just not easy, you know what I mean. But also
Speaker 1: like they're all growing experiences. And I will say this,
Speaker 1: I feel an intense seasonal depression at the end of
Speaker 1: the summer, like the humidity here and the constant weighing
Speaker 1: down of like just the weather makes me really sad.
Speaker 1: And now that the weather is a little bit colder
Speaker 1: and I feel like a little bit of a crisp
Speaker 1: in the air. I literally just my body is like
Speaker 1: responding in a way insane. I'd rather I hear you.
Speaker 1: I hear you. But also to be honest with you,
Speaker 1: like I don't necessarily always feel great in like a
Speaker 1: tank top, like I I really know, like I I
Speaker 1: just don't. I don't have a great self image. And
Speaker 1: I think that I'm super self conscious and aware of
Speaker 1: myself because of social media sometimes and especially as our
Speaker 1: social media platform has grown. I I really do think
Speaker 1: this for me. But like this has been a good
Speaker 1: personally year with the body positivity stuff, because it has
Speaker 1: been something clicked in my brain about really trying to
Speaker 1: come to where I am and liking what I see,
Speaker 1: and it just is not an everyday thing. I'm constantly
Speaker 1: frustrated sal but like it's just so much about like
Speaker 1: not find it's like not finding the validation outside. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's just so basic. Again, but like I don't know.
Speaker 1: I went to fulsome in San Francisco this year and
Speaker 1: I found that, like again, it was a sense of
Speaker 1: like people just walking around all body types, all shapes
Speaker 1: and sizes, and it just didn't get the sense that
Speaker 1: anyone was there being like I want everyone to look
Speaker 1: at me. Everyone was there being like this is I am.
Speaker 1: I am loving myself right now in a way that
Speaker 1: I just felt really positive. And I think, you, well,
Speaker 1: the thing is I mean like obviously here and here's
Speaker 1: the thing. It's like, well, thank you for saying that.
Speaker 1: But it's like I just you are the person that's
Speaker 1: in your body. And so like the other day, I
Speaker 1: tweeted out like and I ended up deleting it because
Speaker 1: somebody didn't like it, and I kind of like, he says,
Speaker 1: I don't need to have tweeted this. I said, I
Speaker 1: actually kind of liked that my body is turning into pudding.
Speaker 1: And somebody, somebody tweeted at me and said it's annoying
Speaker 1: when skinny people say this, And I tweeted back, I
Speaker 1: understand where you're coming from. I also think it's annoying
Speaker 1: when people publicly police people's thoughts on their own body.
Speaker 1: But like, I think we can agree that it's tough
Speaker 1: to be happy no matter what. Right. Well, and I said,
Speaker 1: we'll see if you want follow me. He didn't. He said,
Speaker 1: L O L sure. I just think that you shouldn't
Speaker 1: understand that there are people out there who work really
Speaker 1: hard and for a long time for something that you
Speaker 1: have like happily stumbled into, he said. And I think
Speaker 1: it's this thing. Well, but I understand where he's coming from.
Speaker 1: And this is what I mean to say, is it's
Speaker 1: like I am obviously aware of the fact that I'm
Speaker 1: privileged physically. I have always had a good metabolism. It's
Speaker 1: just like I I like I'm thin, like I just am,
Speaker 1: but like when your body starts to change, you notice it,
Speaker 1: and so it's just And also like in the gay community,
Speaker 1: when there's a lot of people that are ripped and
Speaker 1: there's a lot of people like I want to when
Speaker 1: I went to l A, I felt invisible. Guys sometimes
Speaker 1: will will like reach out to me, and I'm obsessed
Speaker 1: with the fact that, like, if they have a better
Speaker 1: body than me, I absolutely cannot go on a day
Speaker 1: with them. I'm it's just people better bodies invisibility is all,
Speaker 1: is the Asian narrative. And I'm also aware of that,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Like, I'm aware of the
Speaker 1: fact that, like, I don't know, it's crazy for for
Speaker 1: someone like me to complain, But I don't know. I
Speaker 1: don't know. That's the thing is, like everybody's on their
Speaker 1: own fucking journey and like is allowed to fee be
Speaker 1: in their feelings and ever in whatever way they want.
Speaker 1: I don't think I don't quite understand what that person
Speaker 1: saying that to you, like what they thought they were accomplishing,
Speaker 1: because it's not like you have this huge platform that
Speaker 1: you are like trying to uh set your journey on
Speaker 1: the same level as their's, or saying that, like you're
Speaker 1: allowed to feel how you are. Like I feel bad
Speaker 1: about my body sometimes too, and I look insanely good.
Speaker 1: So it is just like I'm and I'm allowed that
Speaker 1: I'm allowed to feel the way I feel about it.
Speaker 1: You know what I feel about it? I I totally agree,
Speaker 1: and I feel like you know. The reason I took
Speaker 1: it down is because I was like, you know, I
Speaker 1: don't need to have tweeted this, you know, And I
Speaker 1: constantly that I'm a big proponent of separate your thoughts
Speaker 1: into what you need to say and what you what
Speaker 1: you want to say, you know what I mean, And
Speaker 1: I didn't need to say that, and so whatever, I think,
Speaker 1: it's always just a good thing as long as it's
Speaker 1: as long as you're emotionally sort of bouncing back from
Speaker 1: a moment like this where you're talking about failures openly,
Speaker 1: you're talking about in securities openly, long as you're not
Speaker 1: keeping it in suspension where you're like, I shouldn't be
Speaker 1: reacting this way, or it should be reacting this way
Speaker 1: more extremely, where you're literally just like like pulling a
Speaker 1: tense line on it and you're not letting it. You're
Speaker 1: not giving it any slack to just have its own
Speaker 1: weight whatever. Time speaking very abstractually, but like I don't know,
Speaker 1: just like talk about it, but also like, um, feel
Speaker 1: your own feel your own sort of feet in that moment.
Speaker 1: You know, it's like just be present with like how
Speaker 1: you're feeling. That's the thing. It's not like you're one
Speaker 1: of these people who like relishes. And I think there
Speaker 1: was a real there was a long moment and I
Speaker 1: hate to be a fucking nana about it, but there
Speaker 1: was a long time in my comedy where I leveraged
Speaker 1: my lack of steam about myself, um as a comedic
Speaker 1: sort of like wedge for and it did not make
Speaker 1: me feel good and like it was also dishonest, and
Speaker 1: it was because it's like, I, oh, I always looked fine,
Speaker 1: you know, and like to leverage like my negativity about
Speaker 1: my own body, and the audience never at never a worthwhile.
Speaker 1: It's like the audience never is loving it. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: did one tweet, you know, you didn't make it your brand.
Speaker 1: And I think for a long time, especially my early
Speaker 1: years in New York, I really did make my the
Speaker 1: way I felt about myself negatively, feeling ugly like a
Speaker 1: big part of my brand, you know. And that and
Speaker 1: now I've flipped, and I will say, though, this is
Speaker 1: this is a different side of the frustration for me,
Speaker 1: is that, um, I appreciate when people are like, oh,
Speaker 1: you're hot, like I and I get it, and I
Speaker 1: post the thirst traps. I like, I want that validation
Speaker 1: because I do work very hard on this part. It's
Speaker 1: the my body is really the only fucking thing I
Speaker 1: can control in my life right now, and that is like,
Speaker 1: so I focus a lot on it. I do put
Speaker 1: chicken breasts in a blender and drink it with two
Speaker 1: quarts of water. Yes, um, it's disgusting, but it works.
Speaker 1: And the thing is is like, but then I do
Speaker 1: feel this sense of responsibility because like I have made
Speaker 1: it my mission to be like Asian men are hot,
Speaker 1: and like I am hot, and like owning that and
Speaker 1: being at the forefront and changing the narrative around the
Speaker 1: way we view Asian men engage and men specifically. But
Speaker 1: now I do feel like I'm moving into territory where
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, funk. Now I can't talk about um
Speaker 1: feeling ugly or feeling insecure about that, because I feel
Speaker 1: like I have to be I've always done the other way.
Speaker 1: I have to like you know, can't bring a whole
Speaker 1: other group of people into into that space with you
Speaker 1: because and this is my thing, like half of the
Speaker 1: like like most of those people don't even know what
Speaker 1: you're going through, Like they don't even know, they don't
Speaker 1: even give a ship. I don't know right, like, I whatever, Okay,
Speaker 1: I would just openly say this. I was thinking very
Speaker 1: deeply what I was screen testing for SNL. I was like,
Speaker 1: I have to, like do Asian people proud. I have
Speaker 1: to I'm doing this for this whole group of people.
Speaker 1: And my therapist was like, that is crazy, because there's
Speaker 1: no way that you're going to get through this if
Speaker 1: you're going to saddle yourself with that responsibility, that responsibility
Speaker 1: that it's all in vented. Do not bring those people
Speaker 1: into the room with you as you're writing, as you're preparing,
Speaker 1: as you're auditioning. Do not do that. That will crush
Speaker 1: you and it's not real and so it is. But
Speaker 1: it's such a fine line, though, isn't it because of
Speaker 1: representation manners like instantly saying that, And so I do
Speaker 1: feel like this pressure to be, you know, uh, to
Speaker 1: be I have to be careful about like the way
Speaker 1: I present myself now if I want to continue to
Speaker 1: be you know, but I don't want to. I agree,
Speaker 1: like I don't want to bring those people into the room,
Speaker 1: you know, because I want to feel bad, and I
Speaker 1: like sometimes want to be in my feelings about and
Speaker 1: I want to tweet ship like um, I literally have
Speaker 1: been to my dermatologist in New York twice this week
Speaker 1: and I've been diagnosed with rosatia. And that is a
Speaker 1: hard pill for me to swallow, and someone who's always
Speaker 1: struggled with my skin, and that is like, that's something
Speaker 1: I can't control. And it's like I want to talk
Speaker 1: about that, I want to be like I feel like shit.
Speaker 1: And then I have this like little voice now in
Speaker 1: the back of my brain where it's like, no, you've
Speaker 1: created this character for yourself online through social media that
Speaker 1: it is like an unwavering source of confidence within this
Speaker 1: the toxic the toxicity of the gay community, and so
Speaker 1: you have to be tweet about yours. You have to
Speaker 1: bitch tweet about your rozation. Um. So it is, it's
Speaker 1: just like weird, and we are in this weird place
Speaker 1: with representation where I feel like we're getting to the
Speaker 1: point where like there's you and there's me, and there's
Speaker 1: a lot of other gay Asian men that are like
Speaker 1: coming up and other gay people. I think gay men
Speaker 1: in general are like sort of like stepping forward and
Speaker 1: being there and and so like there's plenty of us.
Speaker 1: It's no longer We're no longer in a place where
Speaker 1: there's just some one and we're like pulling up the
Speaker 1: ladder after us after someone's else's success. But it does
Speaker 1: feel like there we're still in a place where like
Speaker 1: people are going to like look at every little move
Speaker 1: we make and try and extrapolate and pathologize our community
Speaker 1: for that. Like every time I say something, I hate
Speaker 1: it when people are like, oh, gay gay guys be
Speaker 1: like this, you know, in response to something, and it's like, no,
Speaker 1: that's just me, Like I I want to be seen
Speaker 1: as an individual, and it's just it's frustrating. I mean,
Speaker 1: I feel like it's only gonna get worse for us,
Speaker 1: by the way, I know what I'm thinking, right, Like
Speaker 1: we like I don't know, maybe I'm thinking the three
Speaker 1: of us will listen back to this episode like two
Speaker 1: years from now and be like, oh my goodness, l
Speaker 1: O l at us being like at this snapshot in
Speaker 1: time where it's like who knows, like what word will
Speaker 1: be at in like two years, you know, Like I
Speaker 1: just that's the nice thing and the terrible thing about
Speaker 1: our little racket is that, like we don't know what
Speaker 1: things will look like short term, long term is what
Speaker 1: I meant. But like I don't know. It's like, don't
Speaker 1: saddle yourself with that, though. You ask the question, like
Speaker 1: what are you trying to get out of like this
Speaker 1: trip up state or whatever, or like whatever it is
Speaker 1: that they're trying to be happy, Like I guess I'm
Speaker 1: just trying to do any little thing to open myself
Speaker 1: up to just like really being excited about myself again,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Because there was there was
Speaker 1: so much time in my twenties where I was like
Speaker 1: so excited about myself and I was a big fan myself,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, And I think that now
Speaker 1: it's just like it's just another phase and I really think,
Speaker 1: you know, say what you want about like astrology thing
Speaker 1: like the return to Saturn, like people would talk about
Speaker 1: it and they'd warned me about it, like oh is
Speaker 1: gonna come, and like you're gonna it was crazy because
Speaker 1: the moment like that, the corner turned on my twenty
Speaker 1: eight year it was like, oh there they go, there
Speaker 1: go the good times, and it was just like there's
Speaker 1: just been this like nine or ten months block where
Speaker 1: I opened my eyes and I'm like, fuck, Like I
Speaker 1: don't know if i'd call myself depressed, but I would
Speaker 1: call myself like baseline unhappier than I have been in
Speaker 1: a long time, and it's just like so yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean I I'm not trying to buy into the whole like, oh,
Speaker 1: do this hallucinogenic and it changes your life, but it
Speaker 1: seems to have a positive effect on a lot of
Speaker 1: people I care about, So I wanted to try it.
Speaker 1: I will say it was I loved it. I loved
Speaker 1: it because it was like going it was like an
Speaker 1: amusing park in my brain. I said that doing acid
Speaker 1: was like it was the same experience of watching Mother. Um,
Speaker 1: but yeah, I love Mother PS. But I but like
Speaker 1: the like the latter half of Mother where she's like
Speaker 1: walking through the house and it's like all chaotic, and
Speaker 1: that seems like very negative, but like in a very
Speaker 1: positive where every corner you turn there was like another
Speaker 1: adventure to have. But I didn't mentally have anything. I
Speaker 1: will I will say this, and Henry kurpers, if you're listening,
Speaker 1: I fucking love you. Um. But there would be moments
Speaker 1: where Henry where I'd be like, I just feel like
Speaker 1: I'm outside of time right now, and then Henry would
Speaker 1: whisper He'd be like, that's because time is there and
Speaker 1: I'd be like, no, no, I will not fall for
Speaker 1: I was like, um, yeah, I think I'm too far gone, Henry,
Speaker 1: there you go. Um I. But the one thing I'll
Speaker 1: say about acid is when I would go into the
Speaker 1: house alone and when it did feel like like crazy
Speaker 1: and it was it did feel like mother, I haven't
Speaker 1: seen it, but I would go. But the nice thing
Speaker 1: was going to the bathroom and looking at myself in
Speaker 1: the mirror and thinking, oh, cool, like I'm happy with this.
Speaker 1: That was like the big takeaway was that I was like,
Speaker 1: I felt good about myself. And walking walking down the
Speaker 1: boardwalks and the pines is always a herring experience for
Speaker 1: your self confidence because you're seeing like chilldled guy after
Speaker 1: chilled guy didn't even didn't even go this year because
Speaker 1: I couldn't handle it, and it's and I understand that.
Speaker 1: But while I was tripping, did not give a shit
Speaker 1: about anyone else. It was just about our unit walking
Speaker 1: down to the dock to watch the sunset, walking back together,
Speaker 1: and that was enough tuning out everyone else because they
Speaker 1: didn't matter because because who cares, I don't know these
Speaker 1: people and so, and that was sort of a nice
Speaker 1: that was my little nice mental um relief. So anyway, Wow,
Speaker 1: I love that we had this combo spiritual hunting. It's
Speaker 1: important to talk. God. I'm sitting here and I'm just like,
Speaker 1: I can't imagine. It was very funny, but you always,
Speaker 1: you know, yeah, suck you other full episodes. We're very funny.
Speaker 1: We're very funny talking about Madam. There you go. But
Speaker 1: we are three dimensional sometimes even before dimensional people even
Speaker 1: fourth dimension is time, and if you like us, you
Speaker 1: have to like all of us. Kansas is bad Kansas. God,
Speaker 1: I think it's time. I think it's time. I actually
Speaker 1: forgotten to literally what. They hit the record button. Then
Speaker 1: I had to do this, and so I have to
Speaker 1: give myself a little time to think. Matt and I
Speaker 1: will go first. I just want to say one thing though,
Speaker 1: um I don't think so. Honey Live is coming on
Speaker 1: November thirty to the Bellhouse and also December five to
Speaker 1: the Regents in Los Angeles. I'm very excited about that.
Speaker 1: I may or may not have Joost. We're gonna find
Speaker 1: out it's about. I think it's pretty much kind. Well,
Speaker 1: I'm very much happy. I'm going to send an email
Speaker 1: after this podcast. I ever, we're done here and I
Speaker 1: wanted to be you because literally who else would it be?
Speaker 1: And I mean there's you know what, there's plenty time
Speaker 1: some people can reach out to actually actually would have
Speaker 1: I would I'm thinking now and there's like okay, okay, um.
Speaker 1: But also um November, we're doing a Queers Live at
Speaker 1: Joe's Pub, which is the last culture Resta's hosts, an
Speaker 1: event which is not a direct recreation of, but inspired
Speaker 1: by Diva's Live. So those are some live shows that
Speaker 1: are coming up you guys. I hope to see you there.
Speaker 1: Love that. Um. Okay that Rogers do you have? I
Speaker 1: don't think so. Many think I do have, and I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey. Okay, this is Matt Roger, don't
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. His time starts and now
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. People who ask me to
Speaker 1: help you with your Halloween costume, fuck you? Why are
Speaker 1: you putting emotional labor on me? And also it's just like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, now you're gonna make me try to
Speaker 1: come up with a clever thing for you. It's like
Speaker 1: it's like pop quiz. It's it's like emotional and like
Speaker 1: intellectual work. Because Halloween costumes in this day is day
Speaker 1: and age, you have to be so many things hot, funny,
Speaker 1: like subversive or else your basic like halloween costume is
Speaker 1: a lot and bitch, I haven't figured out my own seconds,
Speaker 1: So why do I have to like now invest energy
Speaker 1: and time and to your costume? And it's everyone does this?
Speaker 1: What should I be from Halloween? And you don't even
Speaker 1: give me a direction that you want to go in.
Speaker 1: It's like you, guys, it's like, how are you feeling? Like?
Speaker 1: Do you want to becomfortable? Do you want to be
Speaker 1: a hot? Like? How are you feeling right now about
Speaker 1: the way to present yourself? Like and honestly, this is
Speaker 1: really about me not knowing what I want to be
Speaker 1: for Halloween. It's like I haven't even thought about it.
Speaker 1: It's like, give me time to think about me, then
Speaker 1: let me think about you a bit. I don't think
Speaker 1: so on that's one minute. I wow, what a gorgeously felt.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Nico. You've asked me several times what I
Speaker 1: think you should be for Halloween? And he asked me
Speaker 1: about this girl. That's the most nic thing I've ever heard. No,
Speaker 1: he's the best. It's just like I I don't know what.
Speaker 1: I'm a any for Halloween. And he sent me a
Speaker 1: picture of what I thought was a good costumer and
Speaker 1: then he said that you said he absolutely could not
Speaker 1: be thought it was funny. That's what I'm saying. It's like,
Speaker 1: And I was like, a house is like a creepy house.
Speaker 1: I don't fucking know. It was like some sort of house.
Speaker 1: He's like sometimes too smart for me. I'm like the
Speaker 1: references that he pulls out. I'm just like, he's extremely
Speaker 1: a sellegial person. And it's just like and he's like,
Speaker 1: but also I'll be shirtless. And I was like, I
Speaker 1: don't get this. I can't see this. And I was
Speaker 1: just like, and here's the thing which you just did,
Speaker 1: which is then I give my idea and people say no,
Speaker 1: that's horrible, and it's like, well, bitch, I thought it
Speaker 1: was good. And also you asked me, I'm not the
Speaker 1: right person. I hate Halloween. I famous Halloween. I barely
Speaker 1: ever come up with a costume. I was like a
Speaker 1: slutty minion for like five years running. I love. See.
Speaker 1: The thing is I always think of something great like
Speaker 1: the day of but I'm not ready to think about it.
Speaker 1: We had I'm going as leather jughead this year. Oh
Speaker 1: that's that's you. Last year, me and Bowen were um
Speaker 1: uh Celeste and I Patronada from that good. That was
Speaker 1: good And I had like long sleeve shirt and I
Speaker 1: was just like, really, I had a secret all night. Yeah.
Speaker 1: But my thing is, yeah, once everyone, it's only once
Speaker 1: every three or four years that I come up with
Speaker 1: something solid and the rest. And like, I have nothing
Speaker 1: this year, and I don't even know what I'm doing.
Speaker 1: I might be a slut this year. Cool a sailor.
Speaker 1: That's that's a direction. That's a start, I know. But
Speaker 1: also then I'm just like, now my basic but yeah,
Speaker 1: it is who cares? Fucking who cares? I'm gonna come
Speaker 1: up with a good costume. I just like you guys.
Speaker 1: I And also I think this will come out on
Speaker 1: November seven, so it'll Halloween will already have come and gone.
Speaker 1: So I guess you can go to my Instagram or whatever.
Speaker 1: I'll have trotted myself around and tell me if it
Speaker 1: was a good costume or not. Great love that anyway, okay,
Speaker 1: And I had a lot of I don't think so honey,
Speaker 1: that I could have done tonight, one of which is
Speaker 1: the picture that Bone posted of himself smoking a cigarette
Speaker 1: shot by Alex Shaefer um directly inspired. It was directly
Speaker 1: inspired from this anime screenshot of this guy post Coitas
Speaker 1: pink bed sheets smoking a cigarette. Was like, I'm going
Speaker 1: to recreate that, so um blame that. Okay, my turn. Yeah,
Speaker 1: this is when he's not I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: And as time starts now, I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: Scorpio shaming. Scorpio shaming is hack Scorpio seasons coming up.
Speaker 1: Guess who's a scorpio? Yeah me, Guess who doesn't believe
Speaker 1: in fucking astrology? Me, bitch? Okay, read to Carl Sagan book.
Speaker 1: Because the alignment of stars hundreds of light years away
Speaker 1: and their relative positioning to the Sun and Moon has
Speaker 1: no bearing on your personality traits or that your twenty
Speaker 1: eight year is a hard one. Okay, Sometimes it so
Speaker 1: happens that we have hard years. And and Matt, I'm
Speaker 1: sorry that that it coincided with this pseudoscience that is
Speaker 1: being pushed on my poor unsuspecting friends, who who didn't
Speaker 1: have a science education, who only succeeded in writing and
Speaker 1: humanities on I am here to tell all of you
Speaker 1: to free everyone of the shackles of arology. It's bull ship,
Speaker 1: it's pseudoscience, it's harmful. It's comes from the same place
Speaker 1: as people touting you know, it's it's it's it's astrology,
Speaker 1: as Donald Trump saying fake news at CNN. It's the
Speaker 1: same thing. It's false information being peddled for personal games.
Speaker 1: And that's one minute. I said that it's a bizarre
Speaker 1: thing to say, but it was just a coincidence, and
Speaker 1: that a return to Saturn quote unquote happened. I didn't
Speaker 1: even get I mostly just shot on astrology. But people
Speaker 1: who scorpio shame who are like when I when I
Speaker 1: tell everyone I'm a Scorpio, when they asked me what
Speaker 1: my sign is, because I will never voluntarily offer that information,
Speaker 1: they go, oh, And I'm just like, please spare me
Speaker 1: of this fucking shock that you that you have misplaced.
Speaker 1: You should you should. I found myself asking someone what
Speaker 1: their sign was recently, and I wanted to run into
Speaker 1: the walls hard. I was like, I'm so sorry. I
Speaker 1: have to have something right now. I'm a double Pisces
Speaker 1: and the best sex had has been with Scorpios. There
Speaker 1: you go, I mean, But also SCIOs and Pisces is
Speaker 1: a good thing. That's why I mean also, that's believe break.
Speaker 1: We'd break the internet if we released not only fans
Speaker 1: oh my god, the Lost culture stas porn are slash. Yes,
Speaker 1: it would be a It would be a recreation of
Speaker 1: the scene from Members of a Geisha where she sticks
Speaker 1: her fingers in the trainees but Vagina to see if
Speaker 1: she's wet. And I would be that character and I
Speaker 1: would stick it, thank you, and he would be and
Speaker 1: he'd be the wettest and you know, and I'd be like, oh,
Speaker 1: and and we will not pick later trying to tell
Speaker 1: you will not PIXI late. No, I'm going to fucking
Speaker 1: Tokyo this year, and I am so excited for New
Speaker 1: Year's and I am so excited to be in a
Speaker 1: place I've never been, Asia, and so I've never I've
Speaker 1: never experienced what it's like to be white. Um, and
Speaker 1: I cannot wait. I cannot wait to sit in like
Speaker 1: in the middle of an intersection. And yeah, and you
Speaker 1: will be their king. You just go to the eagle,
Speaker 1: they will flock to you. Okay, We'll have to talk
Speaker 1: off Kim about this, because I'm we are we are
Speaker 1: of course on camera as we're film see us on Twitch.
Speaker 1: I've never I've ever done gainit like p in in
Speaker 1: Asia anywhere because with my family and they would be like,
Speaker 1: what the fuck? Um, but I'm sure you would, Okay,
Speaker 1: I do very well. So I thought of I thought
Speaker 1: of the one that's going to be the front runners though,
Speaker 1: just so everyone is a where was one was going
Speaker 1: to be I don't think so, honey, people who are
Speaker 1: late to their own podcast, um, And then the other
Speaker 1: one was going to be I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: An actual comedian who told us that or told me that. Um,
Speaker 1: I the that real comedians don't post shirtless picks of
Speaker 1: themselves on there and who then is an outrageous thing
Speaker 1: to say? Of course it was a straight comic and
Speaker 1: it's like, so, I'm not conpain names. Well, the trager
Speaker 1: was here, she named names. That's fair. He will never
Speaker 1: hear is the same moral comment And it was actually said.
Speaker 1: He didn't say it to me, but it was a
Speaker 1: general comment about gay men and our Instagram presences and
Speaker 1: comedians and it's like, listen, here's the thing. I love Sam.
Speaker 1: He's one of the best joke writers in the industry.
Speaker 1: Right now. And but the fact is is, I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: but gay men and straight women do not get laid
Speaker 1: for our fucking talent in the comedy industry. So I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: I have to work for the fucking dick that I pull. Okay,
Speaker 1: um so, but now I'm going to do the real
Speaker 1: I don't think so. Okay, because I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Blue Planet
Speaker 1: to featuring all these fucking birds on the episode that
Speaker 1: I watched in my hotel room the other night. I
Speaker 1: am tuning into Blue Planets to see creatures from the sea, Honey.
Speaker 1: I want to see creatures that are living in the
Speaker 1: depths of the ocean. I want to see a fish
Speaker 1: that can scream. Okay, I want to see all these
Speaker 1: creatures that science is just not discovering, because susan the
Speaker 1: most unexplored part of our planet. And you're telling me
Speaker 1: that I'm tuning in and I'm seeing Blue Planet all
Speaker 1: these fucking birds that are flying around it because they
Speaker 1: live on an island that is adjacent to the sea
Speaker 1: and are sometimes eaten by fish. That is not an
Speaker 1: interesting storyline for me. I can go outside in New
Speaker 1: York City and look out the window. If I want
Speaker 1: to sucking bird like a pigeon, that is clearly the
Speaker 1: product of incests. No, sweet, I do not want to
Speaker 1: see birds on blue plane. That is like I can't
Speaker 1: do watching a movie about the Great Wall of China
Speaker 1: starring Matt Damon. Okay, minute, very good. I will make
Speaker 1: a definitive statement right now. Oh my god, Joel can
Speaker 1: booster the single best. I don't think your hands down
Speaker 1: best best track record, best best based, best staff. You
Speaker 1: feel this way, I do Joel is the best. Think
Speaker 1: about think about what he's brought. I think he's excellent.
Speaker 1: I think he's he's been the most consistent. He will
Speaker 1: give you the full spect, the full range of stuff.
Speaker 1: It's it can be personal, it can be professional, or
Speaker 1: whatever can be about some random ass thing like blue planets. Here.
Speaker 1: He also does do it at the desired cadence. Yes,
Speaker 1: with setups, with punchlines, everything you could ever want. Animal
Speaker 1: and that's the speed at which we mode. I will
Speaker 1: say my my new biggest pet people. But I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey is previously, of course, it was not
Speaker 1: doing culture, not doing culture. My new one is is
Speaker 1: I do think that there is something intrinsic, like there's
Speaker 1: something so important about the repetition of honey, honey, The
Speaker 1: honeys and the are the equivalent of sweet, sweetie, darling, darlings.
Speaker 1: It is, it is contessa. Sometimes when people don't even
Speaker 1: say the honey in the first when I say, I
Speaker 1: don't think so this, I'm just like, you don't really
Speaker 1: get it misunderstood these I will say this, Max Sylvesti
Speaker 1: marched his straight as here a couple of weeks ago,
Speaker 1: and fucking nail it was a really great one. But
Speaker 1: I'll say this, and Max, I'm going to see you
Speaker 1: on Sunday, and I'll tell this to your fucking face.
Speaker 1: Cute face. It's a cute face. I don't think they
Speaker 1: should be written down. I don't think they should be
Speaker 1: pre written. I don't think you should be reading from
Speaker 1: a script, sweet tea. You know that's that's interesting because
Speaker 1: we've never done that. Never once you're you're sometimes at
Speaker 1: the expense of the I don't think so honey. I
Speaker 1: will say that you can't have written it, you can't
Speaker 1: have written it, or yeah, just it removes well, actually,
Speaker 1: no reading it off a phone or off a piece
Speaker 1: of paper, removes polished. I almost don't think it should
Speaker 1: even be rehearsed. I think it should come from the
Speaker 1: gut and the heart and the mind and the body
Speaker 1: and the soul and the spirit and the whimsy, hair,
Speaker 1: body face and the hair and the body and the face.
Speaker 1: I want everyone to read my interview with Alissa Edwards. Yes,
Speaker 1: it's a very good Matt calls calls her out on
Speaker 1: other queens, saying that she's a diva and hold on
Speaker 1: one second, but sut the gig and deliverwards every single time.
Speaker 1: But yes I do. And as to someone who will
Speaker 1: call me on profession, on a dark side deepa, I
Speaker 1: am not a dark side of diva? Am I a diva? Yes?
Speaker 1: I'm not a dark side of diva? And I don't
Speaker 1: I don't have a writer like the rest of these girls.
Speaker 1: I don't need fruits, grapes, grapes, she says, She says candies.
Speaker 1: I don't need or grapes or fruits in my dressing room. Honey,
Speaker 1: I don't have these demands. Wait, did I say really quickly,
Speaker 1: I didn't know that I my reps had created a
Speaker 1: rider for me. I did not did not ask me
Speaker 1: before my input and I went I did this college recently,
Speaker 1: and I walked into this like classroom that they had
Speaker 1: made into a makeshift green room for me, and there
Speaker 1: were two just free standing mirrors in there and I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, that's cool um and like a fruit
Speaker 1: plate and I was like, okay, I'll eat this. And
Speaker 1: then after the show, I saw these two boys pick
Speaker 1: up the mirrors and they had to walk them across
Speaker 1: campus and I was like, wait, what's going on. I
Speaker 1: was like, why did you bring these in here? And
Speaker 1: they were like, well, it saysn't your writer that you
Speaker 1: need two mirrors? And I was like, what what a monster, Spazza.
Speaker 1: They have created a monster, like I need two mirrors.
Speaker 1: I need to see myself from both angles. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: we have to tell Joe that we need four mirrors.
Speaker 1: Four mirrors until you might have to just own it.
Speaker 1: And this is a moment where you have to become
Speaker 1: Ali red with red hair, with red hair? What today? Wow?
Speaker 1: I think this episode transformative and complete and full honey
Speaker 1: and had everything and we had like we had some
Speaker 1: real ship. We got real I love that. I hope
Speaker 1: people liked it. I demanded and we got one of
Speaker 1: the best time things and yes, uh, come for me.
Speaker 1: Don't fuck you? Actually, no, don't at me for declaratively
Speaker 1: saying that Joel Kimbostra is the I'm including, I'm including
Speaker 1: myself in this. I mean, I don't think we're We're
Speaker 1: not the best, clearly, but Joel is a pre eminent mind,
Speaker 1: a pre eminent I don't think at my full capability.
Speaker 1: I think when you take everyone into account, I think
Speaker 1: I could score three. I don't think so, honey, tests.
Speaker 1: I did not do well at the EVAs though I'm
Speaker 1: not a music person, and that was a famously begged,
Speaker 1: famously begged. But because it was so bad, you were
Speaker 1: not the only We're not the only one. And I
Speaker 1: think that's I think that was the right call. That
Speaker 1: one's for us. Give you everything that works for us.
Speaker 1: You should have come to Montreal. Did I fully jump
Speaker 1: into the splits? Yes? Did I injure my knee? Does
Speaker 1: it still pain me to this day? Is it recorded? Yes? Doctor,
Speaker 1: I have Well, I'm seeing a physical therapist right now. Okay,
Speaker 1: you're physical therapist. I'm seeing a physical therapist named Amanda,
Speaker 1: who is a bisexual woman from Ohio. I love her.
Speaker 1: She's powerful, um dynamic and powerful. I just wanted to
Speaker 1: say my other I don't think so honey was going
Speaker 1: to be I don't think so honey dumping me. I'll
Speaker 1: say that for another time. I actually have a serioues
Speaker 1: of I don't think honey. I'm really excited about including
Speaker 1: I don't think so honey. Whe people sound the phone, Hey,
Speaker 1: it's me, stay your name, honey. We don't need to
Speaker 1: do that any more. We hey, and then you just
Speaker 1: and you're off to the races. Well, this is about
Speaker 1: to coggins the longest. I don't think I'm as ever,
Speaker 1: so every time I come, it's gotten a little bit
Speaker 1: longer than love that. I always planned for it too.
Speaker 1: I say, next time, we're going two hours. We did
Speaker 1: blog out two hours for us. Really, why please check
Speaker 1: out Club November nine at the Bell House. Is it
Speaker 1: ten p m Um, Patty Harrison, Karen she Ronnie Chang,
Speaker 1: maybe Bow and Yang if the show goes well that week,
Speaker 1: Um oh that's why you're not. Yeah, he's he's booked.
Speaker 1: But like you might just see a video of it
Speaker 1: might have to be me. It might have to be
Speaker 1: lots of fun, lots of fun games too, where you've
Speaker 1: got a longer slot than we did in San Francisco,
Speaker 1: So if you saw it in San Francisco, it's a
Speaker 1: different show. It's November seven, because I have a Showmber seven,
Speaker 1: Straight pageants, straight pageant Um watches multiple stratement and compete
Speaker 1: for each for the title of Queen of the Strange. Um. Well, Joel,
Speaker 1: we love you, one of the one of the best,
Speaker 1: the best made. Um. Okay, let's end in a song
Speaker 1: I cast to me, you keep keeping me from what
Speaker 1: I was boss to me? What did you do? Bye it.
Speaker 1: This has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by
Speaker 1: Brett Bohum, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts,
Speaker 1: please visit Forever Dog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to
Speaker 1: our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get
Speaker 1: your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news
Speaker 1: by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team,
Speaker 1: and liking our page on Facebook. M