Speaker 1: One de lo, two de lows, three de lows. Are
Speaker 1: you saying dil dos? Yeah? Oh, do you need to
Speaker 1: emphasis in the second d? That was me doing a
Speaker 1: Transylvanian accent emphasis on t to like many vampires, I'm
Speaker 1: feeling a lot of on we because October doesn't last forever. Um,
Speaker 1: and this is unfortunately our last spooky episode of Spooky
Speaker 1: season groas we've really marathon the and the spook and
Speaker 1: the spoop at times the swoop. Um. Yeah, nothing can
Speaker 1: last forever except vampires, which are you know what we're
Speaker 1: going to be discussing today. I can't wait. I've I've
Speaker 1: watched way too many vampire things in the last twelve hours.
Speaker 1: I must say, yes. So we're going to get all
Speaker 1: into you know, vampires throughout culture, all the different depictions
Speaker 1: of them. Um, what's gay about them? Because this is
Speaker 1: like a virgin the show where we give yesterday's pop
Speaker 1: culture today's takes. I'm most damn you and I'm fran
Speaker 1: Toronto Rose. Are we out of the woods yet? Are
Speaker 1: we in the clear yet? I was listening to that
Speaker 1: on the way here on my little jog to our record.
Speaker 1: I am, in a sense out of the woods. Because
Speaker 1: after a week long battle with COVID, I have emerged.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't say victorious or or unscathed, but I have emerged. Um.
Speaker 1: I do want to thank all of the virgins for um,
Speaker 1: you know, being okay with us not happing news last week,
Speaker 1: because as we said, UM in the show notes, I
Speaker 1: was down bad with COVID. After and after after not
Speaker 1: having it for the whole of the pandemic two and
Speaker 1: a half years, I caught it. I'm pretty sure at
Speaker 1: Hades Town, UM, which was horrible by the way, UM,
Speaker 1: and I had a really truly disgusting, nasty, awful case
Speaker 1: of COVID last week. Yes, and evidently I was also
Speaker 1: down bad last week in a very obviously different way. UM.
Speaker 1: You know what, we both just retreated into our homes
Speaker 1: and selves and did not do anything. I did test
Speaker 1: negative today, but I'm still recovering a little bit, especially
Speaker 1: my voice. So we might keep it kind of light today. Obviously,
Speaker 1: we're mostly going to talk about Midnights UM by Miss
Speaker 1: Taylor Allison Swift, and you know, next week we'll we'll
Speaker 1: discuss all the things that we have had on whole.
Speaker 1: I really want to talk about the new Willow album,
Speaker 1: Great British Baking Show. I finally saw Tar Can't God,
Speaker 1: but that rose so many different things to talk about.
Speaker 1: But today, you know, Midnight's and and just because the
Speaker 1: finale literally just happened last night, I do want to
Speaker 1: talk a little bit about the end of season one
Speaker 1: of The House of the Dragon, because you know, it's
Speaker 1: the name on everybody's lips. I've been doing nothing but
Speaker 1: reading tweets about it, you know, watching TikTok's about it,
Speaker 1: or even read some fan fiction this morning. No, no, no, wait,
Speaker 1: what was that? What was the who were the characters
Speaker 1: in the fan face? Well, I mostly see the reason
Speaker 1: why I wanted to read fan fiction was kind of
Speaker 1: i'll say, like a gripe I had with the end
Speaker 1: of this episode, which I did still really like. But
Speaker 1: the fan fiction I went in search of this morning
Speaker 1: was I wanted the aftermath of the big you know,
Speaker 1: spoiler alert death at the end of the episode. I
Speaker 1: wanted to see like the character is reacting to it.
Speaker 1: And I know, I think it's it's much more impactful
Speaker 1: to have the episode and the way it does, But
Speaker 1: I did go in search of like a you know,
Speaker 1: Allison reacting to hearing about louse aras is death and
Speaker 1: thinking about her lost love rain Era. But I thought
Speaker 1: the finale was really good. That final scene with the
Speaker 1: two dragons fighting was actually like really thrilling and scary.
Speaker 1: That that shot of luce Aras flying on air ax As,
Speaker 1: I think this is dragon and then you see vague
Speaker 1: are over them. Oh my god. They've done a really
Speaker 1: good job. I think this season of really impressing upon
Speaker 1: you the size and scale of these dragons, especially in
Speaker 1: relation to each other. And that's going to be the
Speaker 1: reality of dragons, the logistics of dragons, the ownership and
Speaker 1: usurption of dragons, how dragons are um used in strategy
Speaker 1: and and and that's like that's stuff we haven't seen, yes,
Speaker 1: and that's going to become so much more important now
Speaker 1: that the Dance of the Dragons has officially started. I mean,
Speaker 1: this incident of aim and killing Luke is what really
Speaker 1: starts the war. And I think that's what this episode
Speaker 1: does so well is show that rain Neira, even though
Speaker 1: she's had her crown and her throne usurped, really wanted
Speaker 1: to follow in her father's footsteps and try to keep
Speaker 1: the peace. And she even says, you know, I don't
Speaker 1: want to be Queen of the Ashes, and there might
Speaker 1: have been a different outcome had what happened not happened. Obviously,
Speaker 1: that cliffhanger was like the best part to me, and
Speaker 1: but um, I unfortunately didn't like the rest of the episode.
Speaker 1: I thought it was hella boring and underwhelming. I appreciated
Speaker 1: that it was like restraint and that obviously they're giving
Speaker 1: you colossal steaks to set up a bomb ask second season,
Speaker 1: but because the last episode was such a barn burn her,
Speaker 1: I thought it was a funny choice to end on
Speaker 1: something that was primarily plot development until you get to
Speaker 1: the dragons. But like I hated the childbirth thing as well.
Speaker 1: Like I was just like, what the funk is this?
Speaker 1: I was eating pizza, Yeah, well this scene was on
Speaker 1: and I I literally couldn't even look at the screen.
Speaker 1: I just looked at my pizza for like five minutes,
Speaker 1: like it was a long scene. It was, it was,
Speaker 1: and it was gratuitous. I mean, I think some of
Speaker 1: it was good TV, just like the violence of her
Speaker 1: pulling the baby out, and it was so sad, and
Speaker 1: it is true to this this is exactly how it happened,
Speaker 1: almost exactly how it happens in the book. Um, I
Speaker 1: think Season two is going to be a wildly different
Speaker 1: show in a lot of ways. And the bloodshed has
Speaker 1: only just started. The child murder has truly only just begun.
Speaker 1: It's anyone out there knows about blood and cheese. It's
Speaker 1: about to get rough up in here. Um one of
Speaker 1: the I will say, I think this is a nice
Speaker 1: way to transition. One of my favorite parts of the
Speaker 1: episode was just, um, Rainy's in the background of every scene,
Speaker 1: like not bowing to rain Era and kind of side
Speaker 1: eyeing her, which was giving very much um evil Taylor
Speaker 1: in the anti hero video. Um, So I do believe
Speaker 1: we have reached our main point of discussion, which is
Speaker 1: the ten studio album of Miss Taylor Allison Swift Midnights,
Speaker 1: which was released on Friday. Although Brand and I both
Speaker 1: listened to the leak on Thursday. We did, Yes, we did,
Speaker 1: because I do not respect Taylor like that. Um, I
Speaker 1: am just when you said the tense to the album,
Speaker 1: I just thought about how annoying we all are going
Speaker 1: to be when the thirteenth album, So that how annoying
Speaker 1: we are going to be? You mean, how annoying she
Speaker 1: is going to be No, honey, honey, honey, it's an
Speaker 1: exponential correlation. The more annoying she is, the more annoying. No,
Speaker 1: she's more annoying than we could ever be. And I
Speaker 1: love her, but she is. I'm just saying, on a
Speaker 1: scale of our own annoyingness, we're going to be insufferable
Speaker 1: or maybe just you. Because I this album, I think
Speaker 1: crystallized something that I know about myself, which is that
Speaker 1: I am a Taylor Swift fan, but I don't know
Speaker 1: if I will ever be a Swift te Watching all
Speaker 1: of the music videos, dissecting every single puzzle, all that
Speaker 1: all of that stuff, I am with you on that,
Speaker 1: and I even said, yes, well, this is more of
Speaker 1: a Swifty. I'm more of a Swifty than you. But
Speaker 1: for me, it has always been about the music and
Speaker 1: very much not about her as a person. Like, yes,
Speaker 1: I like the sort of meme of who Taylor is,
Speaker 1: but I'm not interested in the conspiracy theories and the
Speaker 1: galer stuff, and I'm not really interested in sort of
Speaker 1: the aesthetic of Taylor Swift and the like cultural persona
Speaker 1: of her. I really love her because of her music,
Speaker 1: and that's what has always drawn me in. And I
Speaker 1: think where the difference in my love of her as
Speaker 1: an artist versus someone like Gaga, where I'm wrapped up
Speaker 1: in the whole thing. With Taylor, it's about the music first,
Speaker 1: her a little bit after that, and and like, but
Speaker 1: not as much as I think it is for a
Speaker 1: lot of people, Like my identity is not wrapped up
Speaker 1: in being a swifty Yeah, And I think because um
Speaker 1: Folklore and Evermore were so much more story driven and
Speaker 1: like her kind of quill pen songs where she takes
Speaker 1: the focus off of herself just a little bit before
Speaker 1: she goes back into like you know, Jake Jillen Hall,
Speaker 1: Tom Hittleston stuff or whatever, Calvin Harris conspiracy theories. I
Speaker 1: think that's something that I really noticed about this album that,
Speaker 1: you know, maybe I don't know if this is a
Speaker 1: good thing or a bad thing, but entrenched in what
Speaker 1: you and I are talking about right now is that
Speaker 1: we got a lot of these taylorisms back, you know,
Speaker 1: the way like Taylor will kind of misused words some
Speaker 1: times to talk about like spider webs of opacity or whatever,
Speaker 1: and else the congressman line. The congressman I was like
Speaker 1: you are writing sometimes, Taylor writes songs like she is
Speaker 1: a sophomore in high school, and other times she writes
Speaker 1: things and I'm like, you are the second coming of
Speaker 1: most truly, like I think is how it is, and
Speaker 1: I think the album has both of Absolutely, this album
Speaker 1: is extremely highbrow and lowbrow at the same time. And
Speaker 1: what I found myself thinking the most, and I'll let
Speaker 1: me get this out of the way, I like this
Speaker 1: album a lot. There are some songs on it that
Speaker 1: I think are really amazing. What I thought about this
Speaker 1: album the most after listening to it on repeat several times,
Speaker 1: I mean many times a day, like since it came out,
Speaker 1: is it made it so clear to me that Folklore
Speaker 1: and Evermore were outliers in her career. And there's been
Speaker 1: a lot of talk about this, and you know that
Speaker 1: like inside tea of Taylor's career, but this very clearly
Speaker 1: feels like the album that was supposed to come after
Speaker 1: Lover And I am so happy that I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: say I'm happy COVID happened. I'm happy that Taylor wound
Speaker 1: up in the artistic place she was in to create
Speaker 1: Folklore and Evermore because they were such a departure from
Speaker 1: the music she was making and now she's back making
Speaker 1: that music, and I think it's important to talk about
Speaker 1: sort of what she said about how this album came
Speaker 1: to be, which is that she and Jack anton Off,
Speaker 1: her frequent collaborator, were kind of hanging out while both
Speaker 1: of their partners were making a movie together and they
Speaker 1: were like, let's make an album. And that very much
Speaker 1: is the vibe of this album, like, let's make an album.
Speaker 1: It's a project, it's a yeah, it's a it's a filler, queen.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie, and I don't think that's a
Speaker 1: really bad thing, you know, when you were as prolific
Speaker 1: of a songwriter as Taylor. No. But you know, I
Speaker 1: said this on Twitter and it was mostly a joke,
Speaker 1: but I actually think it's kind of come around to be,
Speaker 1: like my my main understanding of what the aesthetic idea
Speaker 1: of this album is and musically what it is, it's
Speaker 1: tumblr core, it's reblog core. And what I mean by
Speaker 1: that is it's Taylor just repurposing her old ideas I
Speaker 1: think to in in many cases to really great effect.
Speaker 1: But this album I think is explicitly and intentionally derivative.
Speaker 1: It's very it's very lover I kind of think it's
Speaker 1: like the love child of and lover doing reputation drag. Interesting. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I okay, it's just to tell the versions where I'm
Speaker 1: at with all of this, because I think that you
Speaker 1: and I are kind of on the same page but
Speaker 1: slightly different takeaways. Um, I had that that small, that
Speaker 1: small of disapproval um when you said that the because
Speaker 1: I agree that this is Taylor reblogging herself to some extent,
Speaker 1: and I also agree that it is derivative of exactly
Speaker 1: the things you talked about, but I don't know if
Speaker 1: it's intentional. Derivative is kind of how I feel about it.
Speaker 1: And and I will say for the Virgins again, like,
Speaker 1: I actually listen to this album once through, and I
Speaker 1: texted Rose that I thought it was bad, and then
Speaker 1: I consumed it more and actually and then also you know,
Speaker 1: I did consume some sentiment about it, and I listened
Speaker 1: to other people's thoughts about it, and I did grow
Speaker 1: to like a lot more about what the album is
Speaker 1: presenting and trying to say. And I will just advocate
Speaker 1: for if there are Swifties listening right now that hey,
Speaker 1: my guts and wanted to tear my eyes out or whatever,
Speaker 1: please know that, like I hated this album, and I
Speaker 1: am now being convinced of it's of its amazing and
Speaker 1: deserved place in Taylor's discography. And I like a lot
Speaker 1: of those songs now, So if you really really like it,
Speaker 1: maybe I convinced I can convince you as to why
Speaker 1: I don't think Taylor has contributed anything to her own cannon,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like, here are your ex
Speaker 1: a nation now of the tumbler thing. I I that
Speaker 1: makes a lot of sense to me because I went
Speaker 1: into it being like, oh, Indie sleeves, because that was
Speaker 1: something that we had, you know that that had been theorized.
Speaker 1: And I only think that there are two songs that
Speaker 1: are Indie sleazy, maybe, like I think sweet Nothing is
Speaker 1: a little sleazy. I also think that I should Have,
Speaker 1: could have, would Have is like a little sleazy. But
Speaker 1: I do think mostly that it is lover. I was
Speaker 1: surprised by people that said that this was like reputation
Speaker 1: when like the realty is like Vigilante Ship sounds like
Speaker 1: a reputation song, yes, but the only the only other
Speaker 1: stuff that sounds like reputation is like dress for remputation
Speaker 1: and maybe delicate, right, Like I actually don't think there's
Speaker 1: a ton of reputation on this album. And I did
Speaker 1: find myself missing and I felt while I was listening
Speaker 1: to this that a lot of the things on this
Speaker 1: album felt like B sides. They felt like Lover B sides,
Speaker 1: They felt like B sides. Because I went back, I
Speaker 1: really listened to nine, which, oh God, what an amazing
Speaker 1: autumnal album. Really listened to Lover. Why did God, I'm
Speaker 1: dedicated to the criticism. We listen to Lover, and I
Speaker 1: still felt like it wasn't really adding to either of
Speaker 1: those in a way that would have enhanced it in
Speaker 1: any way. And I want to stipulate that that's not
Speaker 1: an entirely negative thing. Again, when you're as prolific of
Speaker 1: a songwriter as Taylor, she is a machine and an
Speaker 1: artist on the songwriting level, and I do think that
Speaker 1: her mind to some extent just needs to get some
Speaker 1: of these things out of her system. And I respect that.
Speaker 1: And you know, it's not a bad thing to make
Speaker 1: an album that has down beat, somewhat unmemorable music, like
Speaker 1: or whether it's a lot of these songs are things
Speaker 1: that are like they're not really gonna stay with. It's
Speaker 1: very noble and not the album is capable. There's a
Speaker 1: lot of skips on this album. And I get what
Speaker 1: you mean about because I don't think there's a single
Speaker 1: song on this album that cracks my tailor top ten. Mmmm.
Speaker 1: I want to know what your tailor top ten is
Speaker 1: um or your top five. But I'm curious what you
Speaker 1: felt about. Did you listen to you don't listen to
Speaker 1: New Carly Ray? I did. I didn't sort of actively
Speaker 1: listen to it. I listened to it in the background
Speaker 1: while I was reading I need to give it a
Speaker 1: closer listen. I don't have a ton of extensive things
Speaker 1: to add on it. I think that they are both
Speaker 1: middle of the road pop albums that don't contribute to
Speaker 1: the artist's respective cannon. Um. Obviously they shouldn't be compared.
Speaker 1: It's a little talk with me to compare them. But
Speaker 1: I was anticipating both of them with about the same
Speaker 1: amount of excitement. Carly really let me down with Dedicated,
Speaker 1: so I wasn't as excited. Taylor has been giving me hits,
Speaker 1: so I was actually very excited about Midnights. But I
Speaker 1: think I found myself to be more surprised by what
Speaker 1: Carly presented in that she brought it some disco, she
Speaker 1: brought some weird ship. Obviously, the production quality is not
Speaker 1: on the level of what Taylor and Jack are doing. Um,
Speaker 1: I think that they make more crystalline Lee perfect joke,
Speaker 1: so exhausted. He needs to he needs a break and
Speaker 1: honestly I need a break from him. And you know what,
Speaker 1: one of the theories that I had heard about Midnights
Speaker 1: was that Taylor was finally going to listen to the
Speaker 1: criticism and work with female producers. And you know that
Speaker 1: that did not happen. Um, I just I think I
Speaker 1: think this collaboration as amazing of work as it has produced.
Speaker 1: It just this is the this is the point where
Speaker 1: it's gotten stale. And that's why that's why Folklore and
Speaker 1: Everymore were so good, is because she brought in the
Speaker 1: guy from the National and there was a new sonic
Speaker 1: perspective that worked with what she'd already been doing, so
Speaker 1: it wasn't so disruptive. But now she's just right back
Speaker 1: doing what she was doing before. Okay, I know we're
Speaker 1: being very negative, So I do want to I do
Speaker 1: want to talk about what we liked. I want to
Speaker 1: hear what your favorite tracks are. Yeah, um, well, just
Speaker 1: really quickly, I want to also say that on on
Speaker 1: what you just said that, Um, I when I was
Speaker 1: like digesting this album, I was actually looking for things
Speaker 1: to like, you know, and I was like, what what
Speaker 1: do I like about this album? What am I latching onto?
Speaker 1: And the thing the reason I the reasons I didn't
Speaker 1: like it are exactly what you're describing. I don't think
Speaker 1: that Taylor is giving us anything new. And then I
Speaker 1: thought about her song nothing New, and how we as
Speaker 1: like consumers of music, create an industry that forces women
Speaker 1: to reinvent themselves over and over again, and that reputation
Speaker 1: and were actually also sonic reinventions of Taylor Swift to
Speaker 1: some extent, and you could even argue that a lot
Speaker 1: of Red was as well, or some of Red was
Speaker 1: as well. And so I think that by this point,
Speaker 1: maybe I wanted her to reinvent herself again, because that's
Speaker 1: just kind of how we're cultured to think about and
Speaker 1: consume music. And I was trying to peel that back
Speaker 1: and check myself on what I expected from her, um,
Speaker 1: which is why you know, let's let's talk about the positives.
Speaker 1: But the final negative thing that I'll say is that like,
Speaker 1: I would have loved for these songs to fuck and
Speaker 1: I was really excited. I felt almost like I wanted
Speaker 1: this to be her Velvet Rope. Okay, and I that
Speaker 1: that sounds really stupid to say, but I actually don't
Speaker 1: think it is a far to theorize that Taylor would
Speaker 1: be inspired by Velvet Rope. If she's also going to
Speaker 1: name check Janet on this album, you know, and I
Speaker 1: would have loved to hear her. But she name checked Janet.
Speaker 1: It's such a it's such a tailor away, you know.
Speaker 1: It's just it's just this throwaway line. Although I mean, okay,
Speaker 1: if we're going to talk about we liked Snow on
Speaker 1: the Beach. Snow on the Beach is one of my
Speaker 1: favorite Okay, so my favorite my favorite tracks on the
Speaker 1: album Lavender Hayes, which I think is a great album opener.
Speaker 1: Taylor does not always do great first tracks. I really
Speaker 1: like Lavender Hayes. Anti Hero is really good. I think
Speaker 1: it's like some kind of almost the closest this album
Speaker 1: comes to fucking interesting. Snow on the Beach. It's snow
Speaker 1: on the Beach. I mean, people have been making the
Speaker 1: joke that Lana's versus on the hard drive that got
Speaker 1: stolen from her car. Oh, I didn't know that either,
Speaker 1: But I don't mind that. No. I wish Laana had
Speaker 1: a Verse, But I think anyone saying that you can't
Speaker 1: hear her is if that's just stupid. You can you
Speaker 1: can hear Laana both like literally in her voice and
Speaker 1: also just on the production and writing of the song. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was, I was, really I was let down by
Speaker 1: this song, sadly, but I was. I still love it,
Speaker 1: but I agree with your tweet that Lana deserved Verse,
Speaker 1: and I think for me, it's like an anticipation of
Speaker 1: this album. I was really excited about this track because
Speaker 1: I think that Laana is perhaps the most mainstream pop
Speaker 1: artist to emerge from the indie sleeves era. That's absolutely true. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: And so I was like, oh, this really is going
Speaker 1: to be tumbling cor But I don't really think the
Speaker 1: music is at all really that tumbler core, aside from
Speaker 1: the kind of video gaming things that are in like
Speaker 1: be Jeweled, etcetera. But I still love Still on the Beach.
Speaker 1: I love how it sounds. I think in terms of
Speaker 1: fucking songs, I actually think that Lavender Hayes is the
Speaker 1: fucking song on this album. And I love that it's
Speaker 1: like a weed strain, and so I was like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, is this bad Taylor? Which you know it's
Speaker 1: not there, but does this album she does? When I
Speaker 1: think about other songs that fuck you know, Bowen posted
Speaker 1: about Dress from Reputation. I thought that was so true.
Speaker 1: I think that maybe, like there's a song on Lover
Speaker 1: like False God or Cruel Summer. Maybe No, I mean
Speaker 1: False God is False God is sexier, but I don't
Speaker 1: think it sucks. Yeah, but it doesn't. Fuck, it doesn't
Speaker 1: Taylor's music, doesn't it really fuck? Um? I love the
Speaker 1: voice distortion on on Midnight Rain, but I didn't latch
Speaker 1: onto it too much. Um, but I love the Jeweled.
Speaker 1: I think be Jeweled is literally just gorgeous, but a
Speaker 1: new but a new version of it, even like kind
Speaker 1: of the weird little thing she does at the end.
Speaker 1: It's very like the baby voice. Yeah, I love and
Speaker 1: I unfortunately love the baby voice on that time I Love,
Speaker 1: I Love You're on your Own Kid, really good track
Speaker 1: five Labyrinth kills me. I Love Love and then Karma
Speaker 1: is So. I did not like Karma when I first
Speaker 1: listened to it. And then Justin, our friend Justin convinced
Speaker 1: me that it's it's incredible, and I was a fool
Speaker 1: to not like it. I I I think, I again,
Speaker 1: as someone who is not necessarily a swift T T M.
Speaker 1: I don't love a lot of the tailorisms, and karma
Speaker 1: has a lot of tailorisms. And because I just I don't,
Speaker 1: I don't like cats. Okay, I don't like either, and
Speaker 1: so I don't care out of the lyrical stylings of
Speaker 1: the song. But the song on the pop level is
Speaker 1: an amazing song, and I I think what I appreciated
Speaker 1: it about it is like the thematic flipping of karma,
Speaker 1: which is actually like truer to a lot of Buddhist
Speaker 1: ideologies of karma, because in the kind of generic idea
Speaker 1: of karma, we think about how you trip somebody on
Speaker 1: the street and you're gonna get foreclosed on or something
Speaker 1: you know a month later, like something ads going to
Speaker 1: happen to you later if you do something bad. But
Speaker 1: like a kind of truer idea of how karma actually
Speaker 1: functions is simply put that good actions beget good results
Speaker 1: and bad actions beget bad results. It's about energy, it's
Speaker 1: about putting things out there and receiving them back into
Speaker 1: the world because you're interested in contributing to the collectivism
Speaker 1: of like what it means to be a person. And
Speaker 1: I love how Taylor took that dichotomy and was like,
Speaker 1: all you're putting out into the world is like negativity
Speaker 1: and badness. And I have to tell you that like
Speaker 1: karma to me is like the things in this world
Speaker 1: that are worth living for um And I thought that
Speaker 1: was my boyfriend, yes, which I think is is really
Speaker 1: kind of beautiful and incredibly dumb but so fucking good.
Speaker 1: Exactly exactly the big skips for me on this album.
Speaker 1: I mean, while a lot of it is capable, Vigilante
Speaker 1: Ship is one of the worst songs Sho's ever written.
Speaker 1: It's like, it's like me level. And it's very telling
Speaker 1: that she released the song credits. It's the only song
Speaker 1: on the album that she wrote entirely by herself. And
Speaker 1: I will say no more and then also sweet nothing
Speaker 1: is a skip for me. She needs to stop writing
Speaker 1: songs with her boyfriend. Oh yeah, I agree, But yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know even if this album felt like a
Speaker 1: filler queen to me, if you give Carly a listen,
Speaker 1: we should talk about it next week, but like I
Speaker 1: felt like we'll definitely talk about it. I felt like
Speaker 1: the sexiness that Taylor was vying for with Midnights was
Speaker 1: nothing that Carly didn't already do with like warm Blood in,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Like, and I I feel
Speaker 1: like if she's going to do the downbeat album, that
Speaker 1: she just does some things that are like actually outside
Speaker 1: of all the tropes we already know, right, Like obviously
Speaker 1: don't want Taylor to not be herself, but I do
Speaker 1: think that she is constantly discovering new things about herself.
Speaker 1: And I think that I wanted to pivot and this
Speaker 1: wasn't a pivot. Yeah. I think part of it is
Speaker 1: that we all, because the rollout of this album was
Speaker 1: so opaque and there were no singles or anything, we
Speaker 1: all grafted our ideas of what Taylor would do next
Speaker 1: onto it, and that set us up for disappointment. Yeah. Wait, actually,
Speaker 1: like if she had just dropped this album, I actually
Speaker 1: think I would have liked it more. And and I
Speaker 1: want to say again, I think the album is good. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I like a lot of it, but it's not iconic.
Speaker 1: It will not be in my Spotify wrapped. That's what
Speaker 1: I'll say. It might be in mind because I will listen.
Speaker 1: I will be listening to Karma brnow on the beach.
Speaker 1: Would have could have shut a labyrinth over and over
Speaker 1: again for the next week. Well you got, you got
Speaker 1: a week. But nothing on this will will crack my
Speaker 1: tailor top ten. I don't think do you want end
Speaker 1: with your tailor top ten because I don't know if
Speaker 1: I have a top ten, but I would love to
Speaker 1: hear you. I'll do my top ten and this is
Speaker 1: subject to change, but in no particular order. My tailor
Speaker 1: top ten is Wildest Dreams, mirror Ball, August dancing with
Speaker 1: her hands tied, state of Grace, IVY, tolerate it, out
Speaker 1: of the woods, getaway car, you belong with me, And
Speaker 1: then maybe on a certain day new romantics could edge
Speaker 1: out and you belong with me out of the woods. God.
Speaker 1: That chorus is so annoying, and it's still one of
Speaker 1: her greatest songs ever written like it's incredible and it's
Speaker 1: when it's when her working with Jack Antonov was exciting
Speaker 1: and fresh and um Jack Jack, some Jack, take a vacation,
Speaker 1: please say. And Taylor Swift work with the woman who
Speaker 1: isn't Blake Lively, So listen, virgins, Happy Halloween. We here
Speaker 1: at like a Virgin Enterprises have discussed vampires before. If
Speaker 1: you haven't listened to our episodes on Buffy the Vampire
Speaker 1: Slayer with Evan Ruscats and Twilight with Peyton Dix, please
Speaker 1: go listen to them now. But I think what we
Speaker 1: discussed when we were talking about our Halloween content and
Speaker 1: trying to figure out what this episode would be on,
Speaker 1: and like realizing we wanted to do vampires is the
Speaker 1: vampire media we've covered already, not so much Buffy but Twilight. Really,
Speaker 1: the vampires of Twilight are the straightest vampires to ever exist,
Speaker 1: not even just straight like watered down, hyper conservative, hyper
Speaker 1: patriarchal ideas of what like vampire romance can be. Yes, well,
Speaker 1: it was famously written by a Mormon, is written by
Speaker 1: a Mormon women who hated other women. And and as
Speaker 1: we'll get into in this episode, the thing that I
Speaker 1: think exists across almost every other type of vampire media
Speaker 1: is that vampires are inherently and I would say essentially queer.
Speaker 1: So because of that, we wanted to explore the full
Speaker 1: breadth of vampires and culture and really dig into their
Speaker 1: queerness and a lot of the other things that they
Speaker 1: symbolize some of our favorite vampire media and tropes, some
Speaker 1: of maybe our least favorite um and really kind of
Speaker 1: sink our fangs and and I'm I'm sure I made
Speaker 1: this joke again what we were doing Twilight or Buffy
Speaker 1: we're going to sink we might not? Well, this is
Speaker 1: interesting because usually I'm the one who doesn't remember. Well,
Speaker 1: I mean, look, we are here to bring you the truth,
Speaker 1: and the truth is that vampires are canonically, by I
Speaker 1: feel queer, queer, canonically queer, but like definitely buying a
Speaker 1: lot of the things we're talking about. I mean actually
Speaker 1: like in terms of like vampire queerness, just to like
Speaker 1: think about it. Top line as we go into the conversation,
Speaker 1: like why do you think all vampires are queer in
Speaker 1: all of these stories? Like is it because you've lived
Speaker 1: for like a hundred years or so, And like if
Speaker 1: you live for a hundred years, at a certain point
Speaker 1: you're going to be like, what's the point of only
Speaker 1: fucking one gender? You know what I mean? Like totally,
Speaker 1: I think a lot of it is about immortality and
Speaker 1: if we're being very literal about vampire stories. Yes, of course,
Speaker 1: if you live forever, you're gonna be sucking and sucking
Speaker 1: with everyone, no matter what gender they are. Actually, I
Speaker 1: would even go as far to say that like heterosexon
Speaker 1: and sucking, fucking and sucking, heterosexuality like doesn't really like
Speaker 1: exist even or rather, I don't even believe in heterosexuality.
Speaker 1: I feel like heterosexuality is just like an underdeveloped desire,
Speaker 1: know what I mean. It's like and sometimes it takes
Speaker 1: decades and decades and decades for you to have that
Speaker 1: aha moment where you're like, oh my god, wait, Like
Speaker 1: liberation means I can suck anything I want, totally. Vampires
Speaker 1: are incredibly enlightened. I also think if you're thinking literally
Speaker 1: about vampires, then I guess if you are using humans
Speaker 1: for sustenance and are kind of, you know, not really
Speaker 1: precious about whose blood you're sucking, then that probably also
Speaker 1: translates into your desire for their flesh as well, right,
Speaker 1: because blood is blood at the end of the day.
Speaker 1: Though in a lot of different um vampire franchises, like
Speaker 1: True Blood for example, not to hop right into it,
Speaker 1: there is like a differentiation between like virgin blood or
Speaker 1: like different kinds of people's bloods and how they have
Speaker 1: different tastes or appeals or something like that. Can you
Speaker 1: break that down well, even in Twilight. The whole way
Speaker 1: that Twilight starts is that Bella's blood smells better to
Speaker 1: Edward than anyone else's blood has ever smelled, right, and
Speaker 1: in part because she's not like other girls, in part
Speaker 1: because she's not like other girls, and also in part
Speaker 1: because she's a virgin. Don't think virginity it's I mean,
Speaker 1: maybe it's like kind of implicit, but it's it's we're
Speaker 1: to understand that it would be the same whether she
Speaker 1: was a virgin or not. So all that being said,
Speaker 1: those are kind of the little reasons why I think
Speaker 1: vampires are gay, or buy or queer. I think when
Speaker 1: we're talking metaphorically and vampires, I think, of all monsters
Speaker 1: that exist, are the most metaphorical. Um. I think vampires
Speaker 1: always represent what people of the time that the stories
Speaker 1: they're set in are afraid of. So that's why I
Speaker 1: think a lot of vampires are queer, because that's something
Speaker 1: that society fears, his queerness. Um. And as I think
Speaker 1: we have progressed as a society, that's probably why vampires
Speaker 1: have gotten more explicitly queer in the media that they
Speaker 1: are depicted in. UM. But you know, we'll we'll like
Speaker 1: get to that. But I think, um, you know, if
Speaker 1: we want to look back at the origins of vampires,
Speaker 1: this is very much true because you know, I think
Speaker 1: everyone thinks about Dracula as the o g vampire story,
Speaker 1: and in many ways it is. It is in that
Speaker 1: UM it's taught in like school high school canons, and
Speaker 1: like is regarded as it's like translated all like in
Speaker 1: every single language. And yeah, it's in literary quote unquote cannon,
Speaker 1: which you know must be said is just kind of
Speaker 1: like a cis white classes kind of contract. But in truth,
Speaker 1: Dracula is actually predated by Carmilla, which was written in
Speaker 1: eighteen seventy two by Sheridan uh Lif a new UM.
Speaker 1: It's a Gothic novella and it shares a lot of
Speaker 1: similarities with Dracula, and that it's you know, a first
Speaker 1: person account. Um. It's about a powerful aristocratic figure you're
Speaker 1: who praise on people, but in this case the vampires,
Speaker 1: a woman whose name is Carmila, who praise on women,
Speaker 1: and it is it's a woman who praised on women. Yes,
Speaker 1: it is very explicitly sapphic. So you're saying that, like
Speaker 1: this prototypical vampire story, one that literally predated what people
Speaker 1: think of as the most famous vampire story, was one
Speaker 1: that was kind of explicitly gay, explicitly gay. So from
Speaker 1: so from the beginning, I never heard this. Yes, so
Speaker 1: from the beginning of when we've been telling vampire stories,
Speaker 1: they have always been gay. But I think also what
Speaker 1: is inextricably linked to Carmila and also to Dracula is
Speaker 1: the fact that the villains in both of those stories
Speaker 1: are also part of the aristocracy. And so, like I said,
Speaker 1: you know, vampires always reflect the things that people are
Speaker 1: afraid of at the time, and what people were afraid
Speaker 1: of an angry with at the time was the aristocracy.
Speaker 1: Who you know, we're like literally feeding off of the
Speaker 1: common people when you think about like totalism and serfs,
Speaker 1: And that is where the idea of this aristocratic vampire
Speaker 1: who lives in a castle and then like sneaks out
Speaker 1: at night to prey on the common folk comes from.
Speaker 1: Wait wait wait wait wait, So okay, okay. The Gothic
Speaker 1: iterations of vampires were like low key commentary about like
Speaker 1: classes on basically, so what you're saying is um, what's
Speaker 1: his name, Sheridan Lifa new was like the Bernie Sanders
Speaker 1: of his time. He was really trying to shed light
Speaker 1: on the upper class, maybe not Bernie's. Actually didn't know.
Speaker 1: I had no idea that I'm hearing this for the
Speaker 1: first time, but I do think it's kind of wacky.
Speaker 1: As you pointed out that not just in like Carmela,
Speaker 1: but like so many iterations of like vampire stories we
Speaker 1: have now, they're always aristocrats. I think vampires are supposed
Speaker 1: to be both what we fear and what we want
Speaker 1: to be. UM, So, you know, they represent our fears
Speaker 1: about the the ruling class who are literally draining as dry,
Speaker 1: but also you know, aspirational wealth and aspirational immortality, and
Speaker 1: also aspirational freedom to live as you want to to,
Speaker 1: you know, be unbound by the restrictions of society, as
Speaker 1: Carmela is, as Dracula is, and even as some of
Speaker 1: Dracula's victims are, because you know, you think about the
Speaker 1: character Lucy and Dracula, who is the woman who he
Speaker 1: prays on who becomes a vampire. I mean, especially in
Speaker 1: bram Stoker's Dracula, the movie version starring Gary Oldman went
Speaker 1: on a writer which I've never seen. It's it's like
Speaker 1: one of the most beautiful movies I've ever seen, directed
Speaker 1: by Francis Ford Coppla um Lucy when she gets turned
Speaker 1: into a vampire, like she throughout the whole like beginning
Speaker 1: of the movie has been this like, you know, attractive
Speaker 1: and like desirable woman who three suitors proposed to her
Speaker 1: on the same day and her like fighting over her hand.
Speaker 1: But when she becomes a vampire, like she reaches this
Speaker 1: sort of like ecstatic, um, you know, new height of
Speaker 1: like her own like beauty and power and um. You
Speaker 1: know that's what you know in different vampire media, like
Speaker 1: being a vampire or something to either be afraid of
Speaker 1: in in cases where vampires are more monstrous, but when
Speaker 1: they're more you know, seductive, you want to become a vampire. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I think in the seduction narratives, which you can
Speaker 1: find obviously in An Rice's books in Twilight and True Blood,
Speaker 1: there's this kind of tension between like vampire and victim
Speaker 1: that is sometimes emotional, sometimes romantic, right, And and I
Speaker 1: think it's like getting at this this metaphor you're building
Speaker 1: on about like forbidden desire, right about how the vampire
Speaker 1: is a dangerous love that you know is kind of
Speaker 1: not good for you. But at the same time, there
Speaker 1: is a liberatory power in becoming a vampire, or at
Speaker 1: least having access to what a vampire has access to
Speaker 1: in immortality, in like centuries old wisdom, in a lot
Speaker 1: of different things that vampire's wield in addition to protection.
Speaker 1: If you're on the vampire's good side. Yeah, well, I mean,
Speaker 1: you know you speaking of like liberation. That's an interview
Speaker 1: with the vampire when Listat is offering Louie the Dark
Speaker 1: Gift as they call as Anne Rice calls it, you know,
Speaker 1: he talks about setting him free because when when interview
Speaker 1: with the Vampire starts, when his when Louie's story starts,
Speaker 1: he has lost his wife and child. He you know,
Speaker 1: is depressed. He's just like going out and whoring and
Speaker 1: like he doesn't want to be alive anymore. And list
Speaker 1: Stat offers to liberate him from that life and offer him,
Speaker 1: you know, immortality, which is funny because this is a
Speaker 1: man who's clearly trying to die and someone just offers
Speaker 1: him the most life you can have, but a better
Speaker 1: but a better version of it? Right, It is kind
Speaker 1: of a trick, or at least I mean, let's get
Speaker 1: into interview with a vampire honestly, because what that ends
Speaker 1: up becoming is like he immediately Louis immediately regrets it
Speaker 1: or regrets it pretty quickly, where he's like, oh, this
Speaker 1: is a different kind of misery than I was experiencing before.
Speaker 1: And because he also didn't realize that he would have
Speaker 1: to kill people to survive, which is stupid. It's like, girl,
Speaker 1: did you not read the fine print here like this
Speaker 1: that you are a vampire? Now? Um, would you if
Speaker 1: you were at your rock bottom you would become a vampire? Right?
Speaker 1: I don't think I would need to be at my
Speaker 1: rock bottom. But the thing is immortality not appealing to you,
Speaker 1: no no, no, no no no no, but want to live forever?
Speaker 1: But being a vampire very your tea. Yeah, so okay,
Speaker 1: I guess this. Can vampire's commit suicide? Yeah? Sure, there's
Speaker 1: vampires commit suicide all the time. It's the whole plot
Speaker 1: of New Moon. Yeah. Wait, really another way is that
Speaker 1: the second or third one? That's the second Tilight movie? Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: I've never seen one. I have seen thee when when
Speaker 1: Edward finds out that Bella he he thinks that Bella
Speaker 1: has died. He tries to kill himself and just for
Speaker 1: the virgins. In case you forgot, I have seen the
Speaker 1: first Twilight movie, but in four different sittings and and
Speaker 1: different attempts, different attempts, different excerpts, kind of connected and
Speaker 1: stitched together. Have not seen the second one, have seen
Speaker 1: the third one, did not see The fourth movie is
Speaker 1: their fifth movie. Yes, I have not seen the fifth
Speaker 1: movie either. It's okay, you'll you'll get around to it
Speaker 1: one day, I'm sure. But okay, what I want to
Speaker 1: be a vampire? I guess you could always just kill
Speaker 1: your because that's that's the one thing for me is
Speaker 1: like immortality zero appealed to me. Being a vampire sounds
Speaker 1: kind of hot. And I don't really understand the appeal
Speaker 1: of living forever. I actually think that, I mean, and
Speaker 1: I'm not saying this is like a you know, sad
Speaker 1: tumbler girl. I'm I'm being truly honest, like I'm not
Speaker 1: being funny. Like death is very comforting to me. Knowing
Speaker 1: that one day all of this will be over is
Speaker 1: very comforting to me. The most you thing you could
Speaker 1: possibly this um, and at certain times it's more comforting
Speaker 1: than maybe it should be. Um. But yeah, the idea
Speaker 1: of living forever. I mean, I think that's why vampires
Speaker 1: are both appealing and terrifying, because they are you know,
Speaker 1: also in vampire media, vampires are either of you know,
Speaker 1: very evil characters or very tragic characters. And I think
Speaker 1: and Rice particularly gets that duality really well, of them
Speaker 1: being these monsters but also these like very tragic heroes.
Speaker 1: Wait can we can we also just like have a
Speaker 1: quick aside while we're talking about like living forever? What what? Even?
Speaker 1: There's so many movies and TV shows and books where
Speaker 1: like the central goal is some sort of attempt to
Speaker 1: eve immortalent Baltimore wants to live forever. It's like, why
Speaker 1: would you want that? Like Tuck everlasting? No, thank you?
Speaker 1: I mean a lot of times it's tied up in power.
Speaker 1: It's people who are powerful want to keep their power
Speaker 1: for the fountain of youth Like no, does not appeal Like, um,
Speaker 1: what especially don't understand? Yeah, like people in medieval times,
Speaker 1: why would you want to live forever? Where like when
Speaker 1: like you're bathing once once a season? Yeah, holy grail,
Speaker 1: holy flop. No, actually, but like if you that's actually
Speaker 1: if you are trying to live longer, you know, you're
Speaker 1: going on your daily jogs or whatever because you like
Speaker 1: want to live longer. It's like grow up, grow up,
Speaker 1: you want to live on a planet that's dying. That's
Speaker 1: the thing that's vampires are going to ostensibly are going
Speaker 1: to live until the this world is burned to dust,
Speaker 1: and then what are they going to be? Just like
Speaker 1: floating in space? Some of you you never read Tuck
Speaker 1: ever Lasting in high school, and it shows um that
Speaker 1: is like the central like I think lesson of it
Speaker 1: is you know him Charlie and I always used to
Speaker 1: joke that, like the twink from Talk ever Lasting is
Speaker 1: the perfect twink, and so sometimes I would like send
Speaker 1: her like a cute boy and be like he's giving talk,
Speaker 1: he's giving talk. He is so twinky, and he's Twinkie forever.
Speaker 1: The thing to me that appeals in most about being
Speaker 1: a vampire would be the version of like vampires where
Speaker 1: there is community, because like in Anne Rice is like
Speaker 1: vampire stories, vampires are very isolated and like wander or
Speaker 1: at least in the interview with a vampire should say
Speaker 1: it's like they're kind of wandering earth looking for each other,
Speaker 1: very sparse where you know, um in something like True
Speaker 1: Blood or Twilight or whatever. They've kind of found their covens,
Speaker 1: their communes. But that's also what sets off the whole
Speaker 1: plot of interview with the vampires that Lestat doesn't want
Speaker 1: to be alone anymore and sees the opportunity for companionship
Speaker 1: with Louie, and then when he sees that Louie is
Speaker 1: unhappy with their life together, uses Claudia as a way
Speaker 1: to bind him even closer to him, and they become
Speaker 1: this little family which you know eventually sours um. And
Speaker 1: I mean through different and Rice novels there are the
Speaker 1: vampireson and Rice universe also do have covens and families
Speaker 1: and um, you know there are lovers who stay together
Speaker 1: for centuries um. But yes, a lot of and Rice
Speaker 1: vampires are loners. And for the virgins that the plot
Speaker 1: that rose just outlined, Listat is Tom Cruise, Louie is
Speaker 1: Brad pitt Um, and then the girl what's her name again,
Speaker 1: Claudia Claudia by a young Kirston done um kind of
Speaker 1: doing some of her best work. They are fully like
Speaker 1: a like kind of modern family as like gay Dad's scenario,
Speaker 1: like they are a chosen family unit period like and
Speaker 1: now not biologically related at all. And that is very
Speaker 1: explicit in her books and Rice and Rice Never sucked
Speaker 1: around was saying that they were lovers. Wait wait in
Speaker 1: the I'm sorry, this is this is like actually quintessential
Speaker 1: fran and like the like a virgin kind of conversation
Speaker 1: I read, I watched the movie, did not really read
Speaker 1: the wikipiti page or book. They're gay in the book.
Speaker 1: They're gay in the book. Yeah, they're lovers. But this
Speaker 1: is the thing. When we say lovers, we're talking about love.
Speaker 1: We are not talking about sex. Because canonically, in the
Speaker 1: Vampire Chronicles and Rice's universe, vampires don't fuck what so
Speaker 1: so her idea of vampiresm is that because their blood
Speaker 1: does not flow, they can't get erect and so and
Speaker 1: and also you know, she clearly has this very regressive
Speaker 1: idea and like regressive and binary idea of sexuality, which
Speaker 1: is that the only kind of sexuality exists is one
Speaker 1: with an ennetration um. But yes, according to her, vampires
Speaker 1: do not have that kind of physical urge to fuck,
Speaker 1: and so they you know, they kiss and they like
Speaker 1: caress and they're very sensual, but they don't have sex.
Speaker 1: They are sexless. Wait, I was kind of turned off
Speaker 1: by what you were describing. But now when when you
Speaker 1: think about the kind of like, um, the thematic device
Speaker 1: that becomes where it's just like when you take sex
Speaker 1: out of romanticism, but it's still a romance because it
Speaker 1: really is. It's a sensual sensuality and not sexual And
Speaker 1: that really shows up in the movie, Like there is
Speaker 1: an homootic charge between like Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise,
Speaker 1: but it's never really explicit. It's only something that you
Speaker 1: read into, Like there's a moment where Tom Cruise like
Speaker 1: usurped this kind of twink, but like you never see him,
Speaker 1: like you know, kiss him or anything like that. Like
Speaker 1: it's it's kind of in the scene with them where
Speaker 1: they killed the woman and the dogs, the little fop guy. Um. Yes,
Speaker 1: but from what I've heard, so there is a new
Speaker 1: um interview with the Vampire series coming out. It will
Speaker 1: already be out at the time this episode comes out.
Speaker 1: It's coming on on AMC. This is part of a
Speaker 1: deal that was kind of put into play even before
Speaker 1: Anne Rice died to make a new kind of vampire
Speaker 1: chronicles like Cinematic Universe, but I think it's mostly happening
Speaker 1: on TV and in the show The Vampires. I mean,
Speaker 1: I've seen trailers and read a couple of reviews. They
Speaker 1: are very explicitly explicitly gay. So you said you watched
Speaker 1: Queen of the Damned. I watched, well, I had it
Speaker 1: on background when I was writing notes for the show.
Speaker 1: But I did like kind of stopped too every time
Speaker 1: a Leah was on screen, which was not that much like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I would, you know, go over and see her makeup
Speaker 1: looked so good. That's not the movie was. That's not
Speaker 1: very gay at all. No, and the movie, I mean
Speaker 1: I knew that the movie was not um well received
Speaker 1: um and also that was oh really, I loved it, Okay.
Speaker 1: I went to see it the day it opened alone.
Speaker 1: I was not that actively engaged in it, so it
Speaker 1: can't be like a fair judge, but it was. I
Speaker 1: felt like there it could have been way more thrilling.
Speaker 1: But I thought that the rebranding of Liststat as a
Speaker 1: rock Star is like so cool. The whole soundtrack for
Speaker 1: that movie is amazing, And I think that vampires as
Speaker 1: rock Stars or honestly just like any time, um, someone
Speaker 1: wants to have a new take on a vampire like that,
Speaker 1: I'm just immediately engaged. And I also I guess this
Speaker 1: it was tragically like all shot right before lead was
Speaker 1: the last thing she did before she died. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: they the movie's dedicated. It came out, it came out
Speaker 1: after her death. It's it's posthumous. But it's very different
Speaker 1: from the book. Um. The book is much goes much
Speaker 1: deeper into the lore of how the vampires were created
Speaker 1: and how Akasha came to be, which I think is
Speaker 1: really interesting. I found out a really fun factor when
Speaker 1: I was reading about Queen of the Damn. Apparently, when
Speaker 1: they were filming that like kind of concert seen in
Speaker 1: Death Valley, they filled like busses with over three thousand
Speaker 1: goths and transported them to the Melbourne night clubs. That
Speaker 1: is so powerful. Three thousand goths, three thousand goths on
Speaker 1: on a bus to death How much eyeliner? That is.
Speaker 1: The whole way that Queen of the Damn starts is
Speaker 1: that list out is like, well, I'm bored, so I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go sleep for a couple of decades, and then
Speaker 1: the only thing that wakes him up is he hears
Speaker 1: rock and roll and he's like, Okay, I'm gonna be
Speaker 1: a rock starter. Here we Go. Yeah, and there's also
Speaker 1: Here we Go. Can you imagine God doing a vampire
Speaker 1: version of song? Gaga literally has played a vampire. She
Speaker 1: was the Countess an American Horror Story Hotel. The Countess
Speaker 1: is a vampire. Yeah, did you not watch Hotel? No?
Speaker 1: I haven't. I would love to forgot to put that
Speaker 1: on the list as a hotel. It's a it's a weird.
Speaker 1: Is that the only HS that has like true vampires
Speaker 1: in it? Because I don't remember any other vampires. I think, Wow,
Speaker 1: I didn't watch Double Feature, which was the most recent season,
Speaker 1: but I don't think those were vampire. I don't think
Speaker 1: anybody has watched any recent season of American Horror Story
Speaker 1: or I have yet to meet one. Okay, so back
Speaker 1: to Anne Rice. You know, her vampires I think are
Speaker 1: gay but sexless. Which is probably why Anne Rice was
Speaker 1: so against fan fiction. Is because all people wanted to
Speaker 1: do was make them was make them fuck, and and
Speaker 1: Rice was like, no, you can't take my toys and
Speaker 1: make them kiss, which is like, it's like, you know,
Speaker 1: it's really shitty when creators like that, but said she
Speaker 1: used to send out cease and desist letters. That's so bad,
Speaker 1: I know. But she did later change her views on
Speaker 1: fan fiction and said she was fine with it. She
Speaker 1: also did become a born again Christian very late in life,
Speaker 1: and so a lot of the later Vampire Chronicles books
Speaker 1: are very religious and like have lots of weird God
Speaker 1: should in them. Also you find out that maybe vampires
Speaker 1: are aliens or like we're descended from aliens. I don't know.
Speaker 1: It got weird towards the end. But the virgins can't
Speaker 1: see my face, but I'm really scowling now. The idea
Speaker 1: of Christian vampires sounds like loser behavior. But you know,
Speaker 1: Anne Rice did move vampires in a gayer direction in
Speaker 1: the culture. And I think the thing that really was
Speaker 1: the final nail in the coffin, Tomato Tomatotato was And
Speaker 1: I know we're skipping over Buffy, but we have talked
Speaker 1: about Buffy at length. Um, And Buffy was not very
Speaker 1: gay besides Willow, and she was only a vampire in
Speaker 1: a couple episodes. Um, And I mean it is interesting
Speaker 1: that the first time she was gay was when she
Speaker 1: was a vampire. But the thing that was the finally
Speaker 1: on the coffin, huh, was True Blood, which I think
Speaker 1: is kind of the first real mainstream media property in
Speaker 1: which vampires were fucking gay like and also very bisexual
Speaker 1: and and not in like there were a couple of
Speaker 1: gay vampires that every vampire on that show was that
Speaker 1: was bisexual like like truly by like tread and true
Speaker 1: by and effortlessly by like it was never really or
Speaker 1: rather sorry, I've only watched the first three episodes, but
Speaker 1: like I, from what I understand, it is not like, um,
Speaker 1: there's not a lot of they don't problematize things that
Speaker 1: are usually kind of considered like socially wary and like
Speaker 1: our our universes. And something that was really interesting to
Speaker 1: me was just like how, um, every character in the
Speaker 1: show is really hot and an immediate erotic tension between
Speaker 1: pretty much every character as soon as they enter any room. Yes,
Speaker 1: and that really is doubled down on throughout the series,
Speaker 1: which ran for I think eight seasons. Maybe what would
Speaker 1: your take be on like the ark of True Blood
Speaker 1: in terms of like quality or a fan reception, or
Speaker 1: even just your personal experience of watching the show, Because
Speaker 1: you're such a kind of a die hard fan. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I would say it really captured the public consciousness
Speaker 1: kind of immediately. It was very much that must watch
Speaker 1: Sunday night show. Um. It also got some early awards
Speaker 1: recognition and a pack when won a Golden Globe for
Speaker 1: the first season, which is a bit of an l
Speaker 1: I would never expect that because the sex scenes are
Speaker 1: really porny, like really good, but it was, um, you know,
Speaker 1: it was the kind of cultural phenomenon where there's a
Speaker 1: really iconic rolling stone cover of Anna Paquin and Alexander
Speaker 1: scars Garden, the actor who played Bill, and they're covered
Speaker 1: in blood. So it was like it was that kind
Speaker 1: of pop culture phenomenon. In terms of quality, season two
Speaker 1: is incredible, Season three is also incredible. Season four it
Speaker 1: kind of starts getting weird and then it declines. It
Speaker 1: is a decline from there, and then the final season
Speaker 1: is awful and truly the serious finale is the worst
Speaker 1: serious finale of any TV show I have ever seen,
Speaker 1: worsting Game of Thrones. Yeah, wow, that's saying something. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're so I mean, on par with Game of Thrones.
Speaker 1: But you know, the first couple of seasons are so good,
Speaker 1: and you know, you have someone like Alan Ball, who
Speaker 1: did American Beauty. He Um was the creator of six
Speaker 1: ft Under and this was I think kind of um
Speaker 1: at the time, maybe like a surprising thing for him
Speaker 1: to do was adapt these So I don't know if
Speaker 1: you know this, but True Blood is based off of
Speaker 1: a series of romance novels by Charlene Harris, the Sukie
Speaker 1: Stackhouse novels, The Suki Stacks. Now, I cannot believe. When
Speaker 1: I watched episode one, was like, what's your name? Sick
Speaker 1: stack Has And I'm like, Bill is not hot, No,
Speaker 1: he is. He is sexy. He is the sexiest he
Speaker 1: will ever be in the entire show, in the pilot
Speaker 1: and then never again. Well he does get uglier actually,
Speaker 1: but I'm not I'm not saying that he was sexy.
Speaker 1: I'm saying he is the sexiest he ever was in
Speaker 1: the pilot and then never again. Yeah, he looks like
Speaker 1: like an Easter Easter Island like kind of egghead. And
Speaker 1: this is also a problem that a lot of vampire
Speaker 1: media has to contend with, which is that these shows
Speaker 1: going for so long in the actor's age, yet they're
Speaker 1: supposed to be playing immortal character. Yeah. I think that's
Speaker 1: especially bad with sort of teen vampire stuff. I think
Speaker 1: with you know, elderly vampires, you can fudget a little bit,
Speaker 1: but it is a bit of a problem. But as
Speaker 1: I was saying, you know, this was I think a
Speaker 1: surprising thing for for for Alan Ball to do when
Speaker 1: it came out, but you know, he talked about it
Speaker 1: a lot of the time as and I think it's
Speaker 1: very obvious in the show right from the beginning that
Speaker 1: the vampires are a direct metaphor for Queerness. I mean
Speaker 1: they talk about how the vampires came out of the
Speaker 1: coffin and revealed themselves. And I think it's a really
Speaker 1: interesting premisephore a show which is not only this you know,
Speaker 1: like Southern Gothic romantic melodrama, but also what would the
Speaker 1: world be like if all of a sudden we were
Speaker 1: living alongside vampires? Right? The humans versus vampires trope I
Speaker 1: think is probably most effective in this show than any
Speaker 1: other like vampire thing that I have watched, because it's
Speaker 1: it's honestly giving a little X men like there is
Speaker 1: this totally this new class of people that are societally
Speaker 1: ostracized because of you know, their their history and their
Speaker 1: kind of like conception of this group of people, and
Speaker 1: vampires are like, um, vampires are no more violent than humans.
Speaker 1: Didn't you guys start wars? Didn't you guys have slaves?
Speaker 1: Like vampires never had slaves, You know what I mean.
Speaker 1: It's like, I thought that was so interesting. I was
Speaker 1: kind of shook by when did this? When did the
Speaker 1: When was the pilot like early odds like it was
Speaker 1: UM two thousands seven maybe yeah, And in the first
Speaker 1: episode there's a literal, like an almost literal Karen in
Speaker 1: the first episode where she's like, can't speak to the
Speaker 1: manager and she's kind of accosting Um the black the
Speaker 1: black character. I can't remember her name. She's amazing. I'm
Speaker 1: I'm very I'm just just watched the show last night, UM,
Speaker 1: and Kara does say UM. One thing I like that
Speaker 1: she says is in I think the third episode when
Speaker 1: she's covering for Jason UM, and she says that she
Speaker 1: didn't when she's lying and saying she didn't want anyone
Speaker 1: to know because of them being an interracial relationship. And
Speaker 1: she even says, like, you know, everyone thinks that now
Speaker 1: with vampires that people don't care as much about race,
Speaker 1: but they still do. And like, I think that's such
Speaker 1: an interesting thing to throw into the mixes, like what
Speaker 1: happens to oppression and you know, like the way that
Speaker 1: people are marginalized when a new marginalized classes introduced, you know,
Speaker 1: like this late into society. Yeah, it was. It was
Speaker 1: an amazing like mini monologue. And it was funny because
Speaker 1: it's like it was a full lie to like cover
Speaker 1: the ass of like her crush essentially. But she was
Speaker 1: but she was so smart. She was like she was like,
Speaker 1: all y'all are out here like staring at anapaquin or
Speaker 1: whatever for like wanting to get with a vampire, but
Speaker 1: like people stare at us an interracial couple couple like
Speaker 1: every day or whatever. And I was like, damn, Like
Speaker 1: that is a metaphor. Yeah, and sometimes on True Leod
Speaker 1: the metaphor is very heavy handed, but but it works
Speaker 1: and it's i mean, True Blood is so hot. The
Speaker 1: sex scenes are so good and it is really all
Speaker 1: every character is by. Every character has some kind of
Speaker 1: same sex encounter at some point in the show. Something
Speaker 1: that is introduced pretty early on I think you'll have
Speaker 1: already seen it is that when the vampires give a
Speaker 1: human their blood, it means that they start having sexy
Speaker 1: dreams about them. Right, Wait, I didn't. Okay, when humans
Speaker 1: drinking vampire blood is something that also happens in Rice,
Speaker 1: what is this trope? I don't. I didn't actually totally
Speaker 1: understand it when I was watching True Blood. Well, it's
Speaker 1: something that is used in different ways in different kinds
Speaker 1: of vampire stories. So usually the way that someone has
Speaker 1: turned into a vampires being fed vampire blood, but a
Speaker 1: lot of different vampire media also uses vampire blood as
Speaker 1: a way to heal humans. Um. I think True Blood
Speaker 1: is the only one at this scale that introduces the
Speaker 1: idea of vampire blood is an aphrodisiac and even a drug.
Speaker 1: And that gets even further complicated later into the first
Speaker 1: season where you see people who are addicted to v UM,
Speaker 1: which I think is really fun and interesting that it's
Speaker 1: this like psychedelic drug that can also like heal your wounds.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. It becomes like an underground kind of
Speaker 1: like drug moment um, the kind of U and I
Speaker 1: would do v in a second. The if you don't know,
Speaker 1: actually the miss of True Blood, I think the premises
Speaker 1: like brilliant um. Basically UM vampires have like kind of
Speaker 1: revealed themselves to some extent in society and are asking
Speaker 1: for the same rights that humans have, and they're asking
Speaker 1: to like live peacefully and civilly among humans. And obviously
Speaker 1: there's a huge class of humans, usually humans that are
Speaker 1: kind of moved by Christianity, that don't want vampires to
Speaker 1: be a part of their society. And vampires are like, look,
Speaker 1: there's this new thing called true blood that is synthetically
Speaker 1: created blood that we can satiate ourselves with so we
Speaker 1: never have to drink human blood, so y'all are safe,
Speaker 1: which obviously the pilot is revealing that that's not you know,
Speaker 1: people still eat humans and whatever. Yeah, there's also a
Speaker 1: you know, class of vampires who didn't want to come
Speaker 1: out of the coffin and who still want to exist
Speaker 1: on the fringes of society so that they can do
Speaker 1: whatever they want. And that is an ongoing tension throughout
Speaker 1: the series. Also, every season of the show kind of
Speaker 1: introduces a new supernatural creature um who becomes kind of
Speaker 1: a focal point and in racks with the others. But
Speaker 1: you know, we're obviously mostly concerned about the vampires. But
Speaker 1: back to what I was saying about the the ingesting
Speaker 1: vampire blood, is something that happens over and over again,
Speaker 1: is you know, like a human character will get seriously
Speaker 1: injured and they have to have some vampire blood and
Speaker 1: then they start having sex dreams of the vampire. So
Speaker 1: that happens with Sam and Bill at one point they
Speaker 1: kind of a sexy scene. It happens with Jason and Eric.
Speaker 1: Jason has a gay thing. Oh yeah, Jason has a
Speaker 1: couple of gay things. What Jason. There's a really great
Speaker 1: gay vampire who's in love with Jason in the second season.
Speaker 1: It's so funny. Jason's a great character. He's kind of
Speaker 1: like a He's the Primaria is the himbo. Yeah. Um.
Speaker 1: And I also, you know, just as you said at
Speaker 1: the top of the show, like True Blood was one
Speaker 1: of the first things to be like, vampires fuck, vampires
Speaker 1: are gay. And I really do feel like, like, because
Speaker 1: vampires are canonically bisexual, we at like a Virgin podcast,
Speaker 1: declare that if few are making a vampire narrative of
Speaker 1: any kind and these vampires are not by it's historically inaccurate. Yes,
Speaker 1: which is which is why I have such an issue
Speaker 1: with the Vampire Diaries, which kind of came out around
Speaker 1: the same time as True blood, but you also like
Speaker 1: kind of liked it, right. I watched the first couple
Speaker 1: of seasons. There are I think throughout the entire course
Speaker 1: of the show, which was on for like you know,
Speaker 1: it's a c W show, so probably like twenty seasons. Um,
Speaker 1: there were maybe I've actually have watched. There's a really
Speaker 1: good Jenny Nicholson video about the entirety of the Vampire Diaries,
Speaker 1: so watch the on YouTube if you're interested. I think
Speaker 1: there's like four gay characters throughout the entire show, and
Speaker 1: none of them are vampires, but all the vampires on
Speaker 1: that show were very straight and it well, but it's
Speaker 1: also a very post Twilight show and that it's trying
Speaker 1: to capture the y a vampire fervor that was happening
Speaker 1: in the early two thousands, and so because of that,
Speaker 1: it like it does kind of deal in the same
Speaker 1: kind of compulsory heterosexuality that Twilight did, but it's also
Speaker 1: a very I haven't watched the later seasons, but through
Speaker 1: watching that Johnny Nicholson video, I've seen clips from it
Speaker 1: and it is a really good example of you cannot
Speaker 1: do a vampire show for like eight seasons where people
Speaker 1: are supposed to be playing teenage vampires because by the
Speaker 1: end they look old like like Airline, they look like Pearl,
Speaker 1: look like Pearl and X. Something that is not explored
Speaker 1: a lot is vampire children. It's touched on a little
Speaker 1: bit in Twilight and obviously an interview with the vampire Um.
Speaker 1: That's the whole thing with Claudia's that she is a
Speaker 1: woman whose mind keeps aging, but she's stuck in the
Speaker 1: body of the child, and that is even Um of
Speaker 1: Gorrier in the books. In the book, what you find
Speaker 1: out is that the way that things play out from
Speaker 1: Louie's point of view, which is that Claudia was just
Speaker 1: captured by the vampire theater and then put to death,
Speaker 1: is actually not the whole story. Claudia kind of made
Speaker 1: a deal with Armand that she would leave Louis if
Speaker 1: armand could help her get an adult body. Armand played
Speaker 1: by Antonia Manderaz. So they do things like they cut
Speaker 1: Claudia's head off and try to put it on the
Speaker 1: body of an adult vampire and think that the healing
Speaker 1: will like connect it, but it doesn't work out, and
Speaker 1: so she they just end up killing her because they're like, well,
Speaker 1: whatever that flopped. UM but I bring this up because
Speaker 1: another piece of vampire media that came out around this time,
Speaker 1: like early early, it's like maybe like around is the
Speaker 1: Swedish film let the right one in Have you ever
Speaker 1: seen it? I think you've talked about it before, but
Speaker 1: I'm not sure we talked about it. To me, it's
Speaker 1: one of my it's one of my favorite movies. Um.
Speaker 1: It's about a child vampire who makes friends with this
Speaker 1: little boy who's like kind of a loser, and she
Speaker 1: is like maybe intersects. That's something that's more explored in
Speaker 1: the book than in the film. And she has this
Speaker 1: man that cares for her because you know, this is
Speaker 1: another trope in vampire media is that vampires often have
Speaker 1: a you know, a henchman or someone who's in their
Speaker 1: thrall who does the things that they can't do in
Speaker 1: the daytime, Like Renfield in Dracula. Um, she has this
Speaker 1: like little helper man who's a pedophile who's like obsessed
Speaker 1: with her, and that's how she's able to get him to,
Speaker 1: you know, find people for her to feed on because
Speaker 1: she's too little to do it. She can't like hunt
Speaker 1: on her own. So this man goes out and kills
Speaker 1: people for her to feed off of. Oh my gosh. Um, Now,
Speaker 1: since you're talking about like, um, child vampires, I know
Speaker 1: you you're not big on adult cartoons. I also used
Speaker 1: to say I'm not bigger on adult cartoons, but I'm
Speaker 1: realizing how many adult cartoons I actually really do watch. Um.
Speaker 1: Adventure Time is one of my favorite adult cartoons, and
Speaker 1: there's a serious regular character called Marceline Vampire Queen. Have
Speaker 1: you ever heard of her? Yes, I have watched some
Speaker 1: Adventure Really it's it's I know it's not for me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know it's not your t um really great world building.
Speaker 1: But something that I think is like worth remarking with
Speaker 1: Marcelline specifically, is like, I mean, first of all, yeah,
Speaker 1: they're like all these characters are young, so their world
Speaker 1: is like very like childlike an immature and like, um nonsensical,
Speaker 1: and I kind of like love that. Um. But in
Speaker 1: this world, Marcelyn sucks the color red out of objects
Speaker 1: like strawberries or like you know, like clothing or whatever,
Speaker 1: which I think is cute. And she also instead of
Speaker 1: turning into a bat, she kind of turns into this
Speaker 1: like giant, like anthropomorphized like bat monster. And she also
Speaker 1: is like she plays music, like she plays a guitar
Speaker 1: in the shape of like a double headed axe. Like
Speaker 1: it's so cool, and they're like and that for me,
Speaker 1: Like when I'm exploring any sort of like vampire like
Speaker 1: franchise at like I want to see you invent something
Speaker 1: like we all know and that I think a lot
Speaker 1: of like the things that we've discussed today, do do that?
Speaker 1: You know what I mean? We do? Do do do
Speaker 1: do that? Um? We all know the tropes of vampires, right,
Speaker 1: it's at the top of Interview with a vampire where
Speaker 1: the interviewer is like, so can I kill you with
Speaker 1: a steak? So? Do you hate the sunlight? So what
Speaker 1: about garlics? So what about the coffin thing? You know,
Speaker 1: it's kind of like confirming or debunking these things we
Speaker 1: historically know about vampires and Anne Rice setting her world
Speaker 1: of vampires saying, this is what vampires do, So like
Speaker 1: I appreciate that, Like when Inventure Time is like, this
Speaker 1: is what vampires do. It's like their rock stars and
Speaker 1: they play music, and like I just like we'll always
Speaker 1: appreciate that. And there's also um, she's like at the
Speaker 1: when she's introduced, she's like high key, like a landlord,
Speaker 1: Like she evicts Finn from like his apartment or something
Speaker 1: like that. It's really funny. And he's really scared of
Speaker 1: Marceline at first because she's a literal vampire. And when
Speaker 1: they get into their very first altercation at the end
Speaker 1: of the episode, they end up like, I having some
Speaker 1: kind of fun and they get into this fight and
Speaker 1: and Finn goes like, why didn't you kill me? And
Speaker 1: she's like, because I'm having fun, you know, And that
Speaker 1: is kind of what happens in every vampire movie and
Speaker 1: show ever. It's like, why don't you just kill her?
Speaker 1: And the vampire is like, because I'm having fun. Because
Speaker 1: the angst of my immortality, which the anguish of immortality,
Speaker 1: is in every single vampire story ever, and it's soothed
Speaker 1: by companionship every time. I think, what every new vampire
Speaker 1: story has to do is reckon with how does that
Speaker 1: kind of vampire deal with that? Is it by wanting
Speaker 1: the companionship of another vampire, by wanting an immortal companion?
Speaker 1: Is that by wanting, you know, a human plaything all
Speaker 1: the time. Is it by wanting to just go out
Speaker 1: and murder people? Is it by wanting to like an
Speaker 1: Only Lover's Left Alive, which is a great little indie
Speaker 1: film starring Tildas Winton and Tom Hiddleston. All the vampires
Speaker 1: want to do is they just want to go see
Speaker 1: live music all the time, Like that's how they spend
Speaker 1: their turn. Yeah I heard about that, and um yeah,
Speaker 1: that's that's. That's what happens when you have a mythical
Speaker 1: being that exists in this much TV, movies, literature, anything,
Speaker 1: and have so many tropes associated with them, is you
Speaker 1: have to find a way to put a new spin
Speaker 1: on it. And I think what creators do is they
Speaker 1: either lean really hard into what's come before or completely rejected.
Speaker 1: So like on one side you have Stephanie Meyer who's like,
Speaker 1: my vampires sparkle and like they don't have things, or
Speaker 1: you have something like what we do in The Shadows,
Speaker 1: which is we're going to lean into every existing vampire
Speaker 1: trope to use as like a short hand to make
Speaker 1: this funny. So it's like we're bit we're playing in
Speaker 1: a sandbox that already exists, and that's the whole fun
Speaker 1: of and making the tropes like way goofi or more extreme.
Speaker 1: I guess I haven't seen it one thing I hate
Speaker 1: in vampire stuff is when the vampires desperately want to
Speaker 1: become human again, because that's just when does that is
Speaker 1: that kind of in and it's a thing in blood,
Speaker 1: it's a thing in Vampire Diaries. It does happen to
Speaker 1: I think maybe a couple of characters in and right,
Speaker 1: like they're transformed back to humans somehow. It's a thing.
Speaker 1: And Buffy, Um, it's a thing in Oh this book.
Speaker 1: I just read Reluctant Immortals, which is about Lucy from
Speaker 1: Dracula and Bertha, Rochester's first wife in Jane Eyre, the
Speaker 1: Madam and in the Attic, and it's about them being
Speaker 1: immortal beings who have found each other and they lived
Speaker 1: together in nineteen sixties Los Angeles. I did not know
Speaker 1: that the woman in the attic was named Bertha. Her
Speaker 1: name's Bertha. Um, you've never read White sargassoc. That's a Charlotte,
Speaker 1: that's a Bronte Sisters. No, it was written by a
Speaker 1: gene Rice, and it's a sort of feminist retelling of
Speaker 1: Jane Eyre from the point of view of Bertha. Oh
Speaker 1: my god. And so in this novel it kind of
Speaker 1: takes some liberties with Jane are obviously, and it's like
Speaker 1: Rochester like somehow made Bertha immortal, and he and Jane
Speaker 1: are also immortal. And at some point Bertha like linked
Speaker 1: up with Lucy who killed Dracula and now keeps his
Speaker 1: ashes so that he'll never be able to like reconstitute
Speaker 1: himself and you know, terrorize her again and then just
Speaker 1: kind of like hating being immortal, and like spoiler alert,
Speaker 1: the book ends with them aging again. And so why
Speaker 1: do you hate that troupe? I think it's because vampire
Speaker 1: media has to show vampires as wanting to be human
Speaker 1: because humans are watching or reading, or you know, in
Speaker 1: some way imbibing the story, and so you have deposit
Speaker 1: that humanity is the ideal um and that to me
Speaker 1: is boring. I think it would be a vampire Okay,
Speaker 1: I agree, because that thing that I said earlier about
Speaker 1: like the anguish of immortality that shows up in all
Speaker 1: of these titles is like repetitive, or at least I
Speaker 1: felt that when when I was watching Interview with a
Speaker 1: Vampire specifically, I was like, Louis is literally just floating
Speaker 1: through centuries of life hating being a vampire, and nothing
Speaker 1: is really happening beyond that. I mean, I really liked
Speaker 1: the movie, just you know, for the record, but I
Speaker 1: I did also find it kind of repetitive, and I'm
Speaker 1: curious what's the like nuancing of that, right, Like, I
Speaker 1: think that when like humanity and immortality clash in all
Speaker 1: these different narratives, there's almost a missed opportunity for them
Speaker 1: to have a new conversation around like what it means
Speaker 1: to live forever or not and what the appeals are
Speaker 1: are not because yeah, I do feel like it's repetitive,
Speaker 1: it does bring us full circle back to our question
Speaker 1: of the top of the episode, which is would you
Speaker 1: want to live forever? Would you want to be a vampire?
Speaker 1: The idea of vampire orgies and eternal wisdom are really
Speaker 1: appealing to me. I think that that is something I
Speaker 1: could funk with, But not if I was in a
Speaker 1: kind of societal situation where everyone was hunting me. I
Speaker 1: think that would cause a lot of anxiety. Would kind
Speaker 1: of feel like being canceled. It kind of like I
Speaker 1: would be a full recluse, like scared to leave the
Speaker 1: house and would delete all my social media. That's why
Speaker 1: I want to know. I think honestly, I as much
Speaker 1: as I am attracted to vampires in books and TV
Speaker 1: and movies. Um, I think they are endlessly fascinating and
Speaker 1: I love all the new ways that they're explored. I
Speaker 1: don't think I want to be one because when it
Speaker 1: comes down to it, I just I don't want to
Speaker 1: live forever. That is like, honestly the worst thing I
Speaker 1: can imagine. So you and I should co write a
Speaker 1: weird al Yankovic kind of like spoof of Queens who
Speaker 1: wants to Live Forever? And it can be called who
Speaker 1: Doesn't want to Live Forever? I don't want to live forever?
Speaker 1: So it's just a song about suicide. Yeah, Okay, so
Speaker 1: you don't want to be a vampire. But if you
Speaker 1: were a vampire, which m vampire universe, of all the
Speaker 1: things we've discussed, would you want to be in? Okay,
Speaker 1: this is a great question, a question you wrote, I
Speaker 1: must say, yeah. So honestly, I think there's different pros
Speaker 1: and cons. Okay, I don't want to be an an
Speaker 1: Rice vampire because I want to be able to fun,
Speaker 1: you want to fuck. I don't want to be a
Speaker 1: buffy vampire because they're you know, demons and they also
Speaker 1: you know, have an ugly face. They do have ugly face.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be, you know, like a Dracula vampire,
Speaker 1: although I guess turning into a bat would be cool.
Speaker 1: I'm going to say I actually think true blood vampires
Speaker 1: are kind of the ideal because they are sexy, they fuck,
Speaker 1: they have superpowers. The downside is like having to sleep
Speaker 1: in a coffin and not being able to go out
Speaker 1: in the sun. But like, I wear a ton of
Speaker 1: SPF every day anyway, try to be in the sun
Speaker 1: as little as possible, So I think like that kind
Speaker 1: of works out. Yeah, vampires really, you know, they have
Speaker 1: an issue with sunlight. But like, girl, just get some
Speaker 1: supp get some supergroup girl, get some SPF, get some
Speaker 1: unseen sunscreen. Okay, Um, I think I would also say
Speaker 1: true blood. My first instinct was to say Adventure Time
Speaker 1: because I just think the world is so fun and
Speaker 1: innocent and that the steaks are a lot lower. But
Speaker 1: I do want to fuck um. And also a lot
Speaker 1: of adventure Time takes place in space, which you and
Speaker 1: I on this podcast have no no, we do not.
Speaker 1: We do not endorse space in the concept space famously
Speaker 1: very far away. Um, we do not funk with it.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I would pick true blood. Okay, we're going
Speaker 1: to be true blood vampires, but I'm not drinking that
Speaker 1: synthetic ship. I want organic, homegrown, farm to table blood. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I love the line in the pilot that honestly outlines
Speaker 1: the tension of probably the whole season, where I think
Speaker 1: anapaq one is like, well they have true blood now
Speaker 1: like it's athetic black blah blah blah. And he's like,
Speaker 1: would you give up a life of eating like fresh
Speaker 1: food for slim fast? And I was like, yeah, tea,
Speaker 1: no nobody would. I wouldn't know. I want to live deliciously.
Speaker 1: I do want to live deliciously, um, just not immortally. No,
Speaker 1: I do not want to live forever. I don't even
Speaker 1: want to live the rest of this week. So thank
Speaker 1: you for listening to all of our Halloween episodes. It's
Speaker 1: been such a fun month of doing these. I'm obviously
Speaker 1: very sad that we won't be doing spooky stuff anymore,
Speaker 1: but I'm sure we'll have some, you know, special surprises
Speaker 1: and exciting things happening for the holidays. We like a version,
Speaker 1: also believe in spooky behavior all year long. That is true.
Speaker 1: You know they say that Pride is three five days
Speaker 1: a year, but Oooky Spooky is three hundred sixty five
Speaker 1: days a year. Pride does not three d six or
Speaker 1: five days a year. Pride is actually zero daisy. But
Speaker 1: next week we'll be back, um sadly, you know, without
Speaker 1: a bonus episode. We'll be back to our regularly scheduled
Speaker 1: programming and let us know what you think about vampires,
Speaker 1: which vampire you want to fuck the most? Also, like
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