Speaker 1: Hey, everybody's Bill Courtney with an army of normal folks.
Speaker 1: Welcome into the shop. Hi, Alex Bell, welcome in.
Speaker 2: One hundred and thirteen years ago.
Speaker 1: Hold it, this is shop Talk number one thirteen. America
Speaker 1: is running out of friends. I wonder what happened to
Speaker 1: one hundred thirteen years ago. Alex Ford introduced the I
Speaker 1: can't believe.
Speaker 3: You didn't let me intro. You let me this is
Speaker 3: this thing has a system. All right, Okay, I'm trying
Speaker 3: to wrap it up. We got an interview to go to. Okay,
Speaker 3: we'll go ahead. This is going to be a great
Speaker 3: shop talk. Don't rush it, all right.
Speaker 2: Ford introduce the moving assembly line.
Speaker 4: Now, that's interesting.
Speaker 2: That is interesting.
Speaker 1: That changed not only automation but basically manufacturing in general
Speaker 1: across the world.
Speaker 2: Yes, helped create the middle class, all kinds of things.
Speaker 4: Yeah, everything, lots. Yeah, it's huge.
Speaker 5: Umm oh, it dropped the Model T assembly line time.
Speaker 5: It dropped from twelve hours to two hours and forty minutes.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean it's the thing you could make. You
Speaker 1: could make five vehicles in the amount of it took
Speaker 1: to make one. Yeah, it increased mass production. I mean,
Speaker 1: just think about what that meant to being able to
Speaker 1: fight a war successfully, to being able to make munitions
Speaker 1: and tanks and planes. Think about what that meant to
Speaker 1: pharmaceuticals for our health. Think about what that meant to clothing,
Speaker 1: Think about what that meant to food processing. I mean
Speaker 1: it changed the world.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and re forwards the man I'm thinking of his line.
Speaker 5: You can get the Model T in any color you want,
Speaker 5: as long as it's black.
Speaker 4: That's right.
Speaker 1: You can have Madelty any color you want, as long
Speaker 1: as it's flack, that's right. It's so favous a car
Speaker 1: for the common man. It's where the aristocrat and the
Speaker 1: high class wealthy, wealthy wealthy transferred to anybody can own
Speaker 1: a car.
Speaker 2: That's actually a guy in Oxford who drives around a
Speaker 2: Model Tea.
Speaker 4: Is it really met?
Speaker 1: It was his name, Andry I forgot I should ask. Okay,
Speaker 1: go ahead, what else? Undred thirteen years?
Speaker 5: That's we're gonna leave it at. Yeah, things are a
Speaker 5: little political, and I don't want to go there.
Speaker 4: Okay, not even one of them.
Speaker 5: I mean, I'll mention it. Federal Reserve was created, but
Speaker 5: that's not that political. And well, there's all kinds of
Speaker 5: rabbitals you.
Speaker 2: Can go down with that.
Speaker 4: Well, I guess so.
Speaker 5: But the sixteenth and seventeenth amendments, So the federal income tax, sixteenth, seventeenth,
Speaker 5: the direction election of senators, the what direct election of senators?
Speaker 1: Right, well, that changed lots of things, and the uh,
Speaker 1: what's the first thing.
Speaker 2: He said, federal income tax?
Speaker 4: Well, I think we can all agree that one sucks.
Speaker 4: I mean that's that political. Yeah, sure, all right, here
Speaker 4: we go, all right, shop talking.
Speaker 5: One of my dad's birthday is April fifteenth, is it?
Speaker 5: So it's not only tac tax day. Lincoln was assassinated
Speaker 5: and Titanic suck and his birthday.
Speaker 2: It was birthday and my dad's you Lincoln.
Speaker 1: Huh No, dad's Titanic sunk leacoln day.
Speaker 4: And your dad was born, well he was dustined for
Speaker 4: something special apparently. Okay with me. Yeah, that's a good point.
Speaker 1: Okay, everybody, When we get backshot talking number one thirteen,
Speaker 1: America is running out of friends. All right, everybody, welcome
Speaker 1: back shop Talk number one thirteen. America is running out
Speaker 1: of friends. I'm going to read you an article by
Speaker 1: Daniel A. Cox that's titled Men's social Circles are Shrinking,
Speaker 1: and then we'll reflect on it. It was published on
Speaker 1: June twenty nine, twenty twenty one, and thus some of
Speaker 1: the COVID area references that you'll hear so understand it's
Speaker 1: five years old, but it's still appropriate today. As Americans
Speaker 1: venture back out to reclaim their social lives, a new
Speaker 1: report reveals a profound change in the nature of American friendships.
Speaker 1: One of the most important changes revealed by May American
Speaker 1: Perspectives survey is the decline of close friendships. In the
Speaker 1: past three decades, American friendship groups have become smaller, and
Speaker 1: the number of Americans without any close friends or any
Speaker 1: close confidants has risen sharply. But these changes have not
Speaker 1: affected Americans equally. Men appear to have suffered a far
Speaker 1: steeper decline than women. Thirty years ago, a majority of
Speaker 1: men fifty five percent reported having at least six close friends.
Speaker 1: Today that number has been cut in half slightly more
Speaker 1: than one in four. Twenty seven percent of men say
Speaker 1: they have six or more close friends. Today, fifteen percent
Speaker 1: of men have no friendships at all, a fivefold increase
Speaker 1: since only nineteen ninety. Women have witnessed a friendship declined
Speaker 1: to but it's been far less pronounced in nineteen ninety,
Speaker 1: roughly four and ten forty one percent of women say
Speaker 1: they add six or more close friends, compared to twenty
Speaker 1: four percent Today. Ten percent of women report having no
Speaker 1: close friends, and while having ten close friends might seem
Speaker 1: let's call it unmanageable for some, the size of our
Speaker 1: social circles appears to matter a great deal. Americans with
Speaker 1: only one close friend are not any less lonely than
Speaker 1: those with none, while those with a few are only
Speaker 1: in marginally better shape. For Americans with three or fewer
Speaker 1: close friends, loneliness and isolation are fairly common experiences. More
Speaker 1: than half say they have felt that at least once
Speaker 1: in the past seven days. In contrast, only one in
Speaker 1: three Americans with ten or more close friends report feeling
Speaker 1: lonely in the past seven days. This trend is particularly
Speaker 1: concerning for young people. Boy this is where social media
Speaker 1: comes into my mind. But anyway, as we note in
Speaker 1: our recent report, young adults and singles are unique to
Speaker 1: the extent that they rely on friends for emotional and
Speaker 1: personal support. But young men today are far more reliant
Speaker 1: on their parents than they are their friends. This is
Speaker 1: a remarkable change in social support. Nineteen ninety, nearly half
Speaker 1: forty five percent of young men reported that when facing
Speaker 1: a personal problem, they would reach out to their first
Speaker 1: to their best friends. Today, only twenty two percent One
Speaker 1: in five of young men lean on their friends in
Speaker 1: tough times. Thirty six percent say their first call is
Speaker 1: to their parents. Unfortunately, this new survey is consistent with
Speaker 1: a growing body of research. A major national survey of
Speaker 1: Americans social networks conducted last year revealed that American social
Speaker 1: circles were contracting. Nearly one in five Americans reporting having
Speaker 1: no close social connections, a double digit increase from only
Speaker 1: twenty thirteen, and young men are faring worse than most,
Speaker 1: more than one in four twenty eight percent men under
Speaker 1: the age of thirty reporting having no close social connections.
Speaker 1: A survey conducted by the Associated Press recently found that
Speaker 1: eighteen percent of the public had no more than one
Speaker 1: person outside their immediate household they could turn to for help.
Speaker 1: As the pandemic recedes, and it has receded, the American
Speaker 1: economy is recovering. Most businesses will adapt, evolve, and ultimately thrive.
Speaker 1: The future of American social life looks much bleaker. Our
Speaker 1: social circles are smaller and friendship groups are depleted, the
Speaker 1: social recovery will take much longer, or it may not
Speaker 1: happen at all. That is sobering and it is also
Speaker 1: sad as hell. And once again, it is why and
Speaker 1: army and normal folks matters. It is why the social
Speaker 1: clubs matter, is why getting involved matters, because your life
Speaker 1: gets better when you have more people in it that
Speaker 1: you can share with, celebrate with, suffer with, and rely on.
Speaker 5: Actually, I was going to share with you another club
Speaker 5: update along these lines. So the Memphis Club this last
Speaker 5: weekend did one of the Alex's lemonade stands.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and they did at the Memphis Zoo, did they Yeah.
Speaker 5: They raised around eight hundred dollars, So the Zoo let
Speaker 5: them set up a stand right in front of the
Speaker 5: answer Itch.
Speaker 2: Was pretty cool.
Speaker 4: That's nice.
Speaker 5: Bolidia was in the hospital with one of her kids
Speaker 5: and Mike Hume stepped up and took care of a
Speaker 5: lot of it. And obviously the other Army members showed
Speaker 5: up and actually helped that day.
Speaker 2: But yeah, I we used bill.
Speaker 5: This tribe of people, I mean, they're living it out
Speaker 5: right there. Yeah, Mike, you know, as you know posted
Speaker 5: one of the potlucks at his house. But it gives
Speaker 5: people an opportunity to engage with each other and build
Speaker 5: these relationships, and they have a relationship now that they
Speaker 5: didn't have, you know, before the club.
Speaker 1: You know, I have a very good friend named Matt Cunningham.
Speaker 1: When Lisa and I had small children, we moved into
Speaker 1: a neighborhood out in Carterville, which is a suburb of Memphis.
Speaker 1: Everyone and he was one of the first people I met.
Speaker 1: And he has two girls, and we had four kids
Speaker 1: and they were all the same age. And then we
Speaker 1: just became family friends, went on a couple of trips together,
Speaker 1: maybe three actually, But as the kids have gotten married
Speaker 1: and moved on, and Lisa and I have moved twenty
Speaker 1: five miles away from that neighborhood and all a lot
Speaker 1: of times those kind of friendships, while they're still if
Speaker 1: you were bumping to somebody, you know, it's renewed. There's
Speaker 1: no animosity at all, no animus. But you know, those
Speaker 1: kind of friendships end up evolving into other friendships and
Speaker 1: just become old friends. Right. Matt has not let that happen.
Speaker 1: He always tacts, he always emails, He's always saying, hey,
Speaker 1: let's go play golf. He works at maintaining my friendship.
Speaker 1: And when I'm overwhelmed with everything I have going on,
Speaker 1: I'm really just so thankful just to see a text
Speaker 1: to him from him that says, hey man, we have
Speaker 1: to go get a beer, we have to go catch up,
Speaker 1: we have to go play golf.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 1: He doesn't say, because you know we're friends, and you
Speaker 1: know you're supposed to stay in country. If he didn't
Speaker 1: say that, he doesn't put that on me. He just says,
Speaker 1: you know, he's just kind of he works. He has
Speaker 1: worked for fifteen years at maintaining that friendship, not because
Speaker 1: he wants anything from me, but just because he cares,
Speaker 1: because he's a good friend. And I'm going to tell
Speaker 1: you something, if they hit the today, he would be
Speaker 1: one of the people I called because I know his heart.
Speaker 1: I know as a friend, and I do have some
Speaker 1: other friends like that. And I think, how as I'm
Speaker 1: reading this, I was thinking who's my friends in my brain?
Speaker 1: And I'm thinking, against the backdrop of these data, how
Speaker 1: I guess fortunate I am that I do have probably
Speaker 1: eight to ten of those type of friends, And how
Speaker 1: lonely it must be if you don't.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and the other type. We should actually do a
Speaker 5: shop talk on this. Arthur Brooks has been kind of
Speaker 5: making the point recently, like so many of us have
Speaker 5: these business relationships with people that aren't like really friends,
Speaker 5: Like we need to go and make friends that can't
Speaker 5: do anything for us.
Speaker 4: That's right.
Speaker 1: Business relationships can be friends, but oftentimes those are associates.
Speaker 1: Those are you know, friends supposed to go spend. Friendships
Speaker 1: should have nothing to do with money or how somebody
Speaker 1: can help you advance or whatever. It's just if you
Speaker 1: interact with that you share common goals with. But most importantly,
Speaker 1: but we can share your problems with and your success
Speaker 1: is with that will legitimately be happy for you. Zig
Speaker 1: Ziggler said this.
Speaker 2: Go back and listen to our shop talk on zig Ziggler.
Speaker 1: Yeah, go back, he said this. He said, outside your
Speaker 1: closest group of friends, with everybody in the world. Share
Speaker 1: your give up goals with everyone, and share your go
Speaker 1: up goals with no one. And what that means is
Speaker 1: use the human condition to help yourself. If you share
Speaker 1: your give up goals with everyone, I'm going to quit drinking,
Speaker 1: I'm going to stop coffee, I'm going to give up sweets.
Speaker 1: I'm going to quit smoking. Whatever you're going to give up,
Speaker 1: share them with everyone. Because here's why. The minute those
Speaker 1: people see you eat a sweet or have a beer
Speaker 1: or whatever it is you're trying to give up, their
Speaker 1: human condition will come out and they will be very
Speaker 1: quick to remind you, Oh, I thought you were going
Speaker 1: to quit. You know that's not a friend, right, A
Speaker 1: friend would be supportive. And then he said, share your
Speaker 1: go up goals with nobody. If you want to get
Speaker 1: ahead in your business, if you want to get the
Speaker 1: next promotion, if you want to make more money, if
Speaker 1: those your goals, don't share them with anyone outside of
Speaker 1: your family and you're very tight close circle. Because here's
Speaker 1: the thing. Other people will be jealous and other people
Speaker 1: might do in your business, might do what they can
Speaker 1: do to keep you from getting there because that's what
Speaker 1: they also want.
Speaker 2: So I remind you that they have not reached it.
Speaker 1: Or remind you, or they step on your mind. So
Speaker 1: you share your give up goals that they and you
Speaker 1: share your go up goals with no one outside of
Speaker 1: your close circle friend. So here's a good barometer. If
Speaker 1: someone is worthy of knowing your go up goals and
Speaker 1: would support you in it, they're probably worthy of being
Speaker 1: your friend. If there's someone who might not aid in that, well,
Speaker 1: then that's an associate. Yeah, A good way to think
Speaker 1: about it.
Speaker 5: I think my final thing and then we should wrap.
Speaker 5: But uh, I was thinking about this the other day
Speaker 5: and I thought about it when you were talking. Bob
Speaker 5: Mozakowski had a really good line, and he's like, when
Speaker 5: you do some good with somebody, and you're talking about
Speaker 5: the West Side Little League, You've built the largest inner
Speaker 5: city little league in the country. He's like in Chicago. Yeah,
Speaker 5: and he's like, when you see them again, just out
Speaker 5: in public, it's a different kind of handshake. Yeah, and
Speaker 5: often it's a different kind of hug.
Speaker 4: Really, like, we that's interesting.
Speaker 2: We did some good together.
Speaker 5: It's not just somebody you saw like, we actually did
Speaker 5: some like and I feel the same thing with people
Speaker 5: we do the bed building with, Like, we did some
Speaker 5: good together, and it's a different type of relationship.
Speaker 1: Bob is one of the most unique human beings on
Speaker 1: the face of the planet.
Speaker 2: If you haven't heard the episode, you got to listen.
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1: If there is an episode you if you want to
Speaker 1: laugh and be inspired, go back and listen.
Speaker 4: To that episode. He's hilarious. Okay, guys, we got to go.
Speaker 4: So here's the deal.
Speaker 1: If you liked this episode, for gosh sakes, share it
Speaker 1: with somebody, Share it with your friends on social, subscribe
Speaker 1: to the podcast, rate it, review it. Join the Army
Speaker 1: at Normalfolks dot org. Join or start one of our
Speaker 1: local service clubs. Go to our website and take the
Speaker 1: ten level challenge and buy some merch Do any of this,
Speaker 1: Do any of this stuff that will help us grow
Speaker 1: an army and normal folks.
Speaker 4: I'm Bill Courtney. Until next time. Do it you can