1
00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:03,240
Speaker 1: Hey, this Iszam. This is John, your og Okay Storytime

2
00:00:03,279 --> 00:00:06,640
Speaker 1: podcast host, and we got some delicious, juicy stories coming up.

3
00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:08,960
Speaker 2: But if you want to hear that deliciousness, you know,

4
00:00:09,160 --> 00:00:10,959
Speaker 2: just stick around for a two minute break with a

5
00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:12,039
Speaker 2: word from our sponsors.

6
00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:15,120
Speaker 3: I refuse to let my husband move in with us

7
00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:16,120
Speaker 3: unless he.

8
00:00:16,120 --> 00:00:17,120
Speaker 4: Got a job.

9
00:00:17,440 --> 00:00:21,439
Speaker 3: I'm doing my part, Sugar warning for mentions of substance abuse.

10
00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:24,280
Speaker 3: To try and sum this up as simply as possible,

11
00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:27,360
Speaker 3: my husband, thirty four mail, got fired from a great

12
00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:30,160
Speaker 3: job in January. Since then he has tried maybe two

13
00:00:30,320 --> 00:00:32,920
Speaker 3: or three odd jobs, none of them very well paying

14
00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:35,640
Speaker 3: or lasting more than a couple weeks. He has contributed

15
00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:39,800
Speaker 3: less than maybe two thousand to our family this year.

16
00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:41,120
Speaker 2: Who year pooh.

17
00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:44,120
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from Chiamata and if you

18
00:00:44,159 --> 00:00:45,560
Speaker 3: want to submit your own stories, go to the r

19
00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:49,519
Speaker 3: slush Okay Storytime Separate it. I'm Sophia, I'm Carly, I'm Keon,

20
00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:51,559
Speaker 3: and we're here to give good advice goofully, But we

21
00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:54,120
Speaker 3: don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do,

22
00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:56,160
Speaker 3: So let us know what you would do in the

23
00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:59,680
Speaker 3: comments and OPI says me. Twenty seven female and him.

24
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:02,520
Speaker 3: I have two two year olds together. I've made about

25
00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:05,440
Speaker 3: all the sacrifices I could to keep us afloat. I

26
00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:09,240
Speaker 3: went into credit card debts, worked two jobs at times,

27
00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:12,120
Speaker 3: and made about fifty three thousand a year while picking

28
00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:15,240
Speaker 3: up extra odd shifts for overtime. But yeah, I gave

29
00:01:15,319 --> 00:01:19,120
Speaker 3: up having an apartment this past summer because of debt accumulating. Recently,

30
00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:21,600
Speaker 3: my parents offered to watch the kids more full time

31
00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:23,839
Speaker 3: so I wouldn't have to pay for daycare. This would

32
00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:25,880
Speaker 3: allow me to afford to support the three of us

33
00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:29,000
Speaker 3: somewhat decently and get an apartment. I told him that

34
00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:31,679
Speaker 3: if he can't get a job like anything, I'll even

35
00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:33,920
Speaker 3: take ten dollars an hour, just something to help me.

36
00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:36,679
Speaker 3: Then he can't come with us. I can't support him too.

37
00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:39,400
Speaker 3: He has no disabilities that would prevent him from working.

38
00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:41,200
Speaker 3: I honestly think that's super fair.

39
00:01:41,319 --> 00:01:42,080
Speaker 2: I think that's fair.

40
00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:45,240
Speaker 3: You're trying to support a family on fifty three thousand.

41
00:01:45,319 --> 00:01:48,200
Speaker 3: That's so hard. I think that's fair. I know it's

42
00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:50,800
Speaker 3: a tough market. I know that, but we are coming

43
00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:54,160
Speaker 3: up on a year and I just can't stomach him

44
00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:56,880
Speaker 3: being at our apartment doing nothing while our kids are

45
00:01:56,920 --> 00:01:59,320
Speaker 3: taken care of so we can work in any way possible.

46
00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:02,000
Speaker 3: So if he can't do this, is it fair for

47
00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:04,440
Speaker 3: me to say he can't come with us? And there

48
00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:07,040
Speaker 3: is edit about why I was paying for daycare. To

49
00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:09,760
Speaker 3: clarify at my kids in a two day educational program.

50
00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:11,600
Speaker 3: It was hard to afford, but I was doing this

51
00:02:11,639 --> 00:02:14,440
Speaker 3: for their benefit. They are smart and deserved hands on

52
00:02:14,639 --> 00:02:16,919
Speaker 3: and the social aspect. My mom has offered to take

53
00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:19,560
Speaker 3: this over for us until I am more financially secure,

54
00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:22,639
Speaker 3: so not daycare, more like a school curriculum. I switched

55
00:02:22,639 --> 00:02:24,840
Speaker 3: from a work from home position earlier this year for

56
00:02:24,919 --> 00:02:27,200
Speaker 3: more pay. Up until that point, I was the kid's

57
00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:30,240
Speaker 3: primary care and working and finishing a degree. It has

58
00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:33,880
Speaker 3: been a crazy year of transition. I'm just tired and confused.

59
00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:36,400
Speaker 3: I just want stability for myself and my children. I've

60
00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:38,720
Speaker 3: grappled a lot for what is best for my kids.

61
00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:41,440
Speaker 3: I'm new to the whole school daycare thing, trying to

62
00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:43,600
Speaker 3: do the best by the kids. He's a good dad,

63
00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:47,040
Speaker 3: he loves them. He's failing me as an equal partner though.

64
00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:49,600
Speaker 3: And there are some comments, but really quick, I understand

65
00:02:49,639 --> 00:02:53,080
Speaker 3: why those comments were saying, why are you paying for daycare?

66
00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:55,320
Speaker 3: Why are we asking mom for help?

67
00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:57,960
Speaker 4: If he's unemployed, why is he not being a stay

68
00:02:58,000 --> 00:02:59,960
Speaker 4: home dad. Doesn't make any sense to me.

69
00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:02,160
Speaker 2: I get it for the fact of like getting your

70
00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:05,440
Speaker 2: kids socialized and stuff. Sure her answer made good sense,

71
00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:08,119
Speaker 2: but I also was kind of like, that's expensive. Mm hmm,

72
00:03:08,639 --> 00:03:11,760
Speaker 2: unless where there are, Unless where they are, it's not expensive.

73
00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:14,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, I do think we're in the US at this point.

74
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:16,519
Speaker 3: I'm like, why is mom having to take care of

75
00:03:16,639 --> 00:03:19,440
Speaker 3: kids when he is right? You know, doesn't much a'll

76
00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:23,400
Speaker 3: tell you, Lizziote says, stop begging for the bare minimum.

77
00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:25,000
Speaker 3: All it will do is teach him to do the

78
00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:28,560
Speaker 3: bare minimum, and even that will only be in short bursts.

79
00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:31,160
Speaker 3: He's gonna do just barely enough, and until you let

80
00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:33,760
Speaker 3: out a sigh of relief once your office butt, he'll

81
00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:36,280
Speaker 3: stop even that little bit of effort again, live separately

82
00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:39,000
Speaker 3: until he can prove to be a functioning adult again.

83
00:03:39,240 --> 00:03:42,520
Speaker 3: Right now, you're treating him like a teenager. That kinky

84
00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:45,280
Speaker 3: lady says, yep, if he doesn't have any medical issues,

85
00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:46,440
Speaker 3: he needs to be full time.

86
00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:46,960
Speaker 4: At least.

87
00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:50,880
Speaker 3: The fact that Op had to juggle multiple jobs, going

88
00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:54,200
Speaker 3: to school and being work from home, but handling childcare

89
00:03:54,240 --> 00:03:57,640
Speaker 3: at the same time is insane ten hours. I'd be

90
00:03:57,640 --> 00:03:59,800
Speaker 3: demanding a divorce by this point. He isn't a good

91
00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:02,760
Speaker 3: day if he isn't able to financially provide for his

92
00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:05,280
Speaker 3: children at all. It'd be different if they agreed to

93
00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:07,320
Speaker 3: him being a stay at home dad, but sure doesn't

94
00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:10,400
Speaker 3: sound like it. I'd say separation. He gets something that

95
00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:13,520
Speaker 3: has him work in full time hours and couples counseling

96
00:04:13,760 --> 00:04:17,160
Speaker 3: minimum to prevent a divorce. This is crazy. There is

97
00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:20,159
Speaker 3: an update five days later. Any other thoughts before we

98
00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:21,720
Speaker 3: jump into that.

99
00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:23,760
Speaker 2: That commentary was like, he needs a full time job

100
00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:28,159
Speaker 2: at least, he needs anything any point, any job. He

101
00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:30,799
Speaker 2: doesn't have any job, like even a part time gig,

102
00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:33,400
Speaker 2: plus taking on watching the kids or something.

103
00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:35,919
Speaker 3: Yeah, like, you're not even watching your own kids.

104
00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:37,080
Speaker 4: What are you doing?

105
00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:40,240
Speaker 1: Just a sign of you just trying to do something.

106
00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:42,800
Speaker 3: No, he's not a good dad if he's not doing anything.

107
00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:46,080
Speaker 3: Seems like she's just saying he gets along with the kids, right,

108
00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:47,640
Speaker 3: he has fun with the kids.

109
00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:50,240
Speaker 1: That's not pure. The only thing that goes all with

110
00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:52,400
Speaker 1: the kids and then he just goes back to his room.

111
00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:53,000
Speaker 2: Yeah.

112
00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:56,120
Speaker 3: Five days later, I wasn't honest in my first post,

113
00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:58,520
Speaker 3: just like I'm not honest in lie to most people

114
00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:01,440
Speaker 3: in my life right now. I guess it's the unbelievable

115
00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:03,839
Speaker 3: amount of shame I carry. It is true that my

116
00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:07,320
Speaker 3: husband was fired in January. The real reason is because

117
00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:10,560
Speaker 3: he had a workplace injury. The previous summer. He completely

118
00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:13,280
Speaker 3: tore up his knee, had major surgery, and went through

119
00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:16,640
Speaker 3: reab The company was extremely helpful in his recovery. Then

120
00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:19,320
Speaker 3: his prescriptions ran out and I later found out he

121
00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:22,320
Speaker 3: started buying pain pills off the street, which yeah, is

122
00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:25,560
Speaker 3: an oxy whatever. It's basically just fentanyl these days, as

123
00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:28,880
Speaker 3: a consequence of a ramping up regular use problem. He

124
00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:31,560
Speaker 3: could no longer hide. I had a victim. Then he

125
00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:34,560
Speaker 3: got fired. He went through periods of inpatient and out

126
00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:39,440
Speaker 3: patient programs, AA therapy, subbox zone maybe and medications for

127
00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:42,360
Speaker 3: depression and anxiety. We tried everything we could think of,

128
00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:44,880
Speaker 3: and all the while we were living separate lives because

129
00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:46,880
Speaker 3: he was a danger to the children. Why am I

130
00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:49,719
Speaker 3: still so attached? How are any of us supposed to

131
00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:52,360
Speaker 3: foresee this happening? You fall deeply in love, you get

132
00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:54,919
Speaker 3: the ring, and the kids. Life is pretty good. Always

133
00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:57,599
Speaker 3: with the challenges, but that's just life. It's effing hard.

134
00:05:57,680 --> 00:06:00,520
Speaker 2: Well, this is a completely different post. Why did you

135
00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:02,479
Speaker 2: frighten the other one? It was like a fake story

136
00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:03,479
Speaker 2: At this point.

137
00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:05,640
Speaker 3: I'm really confused by Op saying, like, why am I

138
00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:07,640
Speaker 3: in love with him? Like this is a partner who's

139
00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:11,760
Speaker 3: going through a deeply different, like just an incredibly hard situation.

140
00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:14,479
Speaker 2: Right, you love him and you want to help him.

141
00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:16,880
Speaker 3: And also I just want to say, like, this wasn't

142
00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:21,600
Speaker 3: even his fault. You know, doctors will give out pain

143
00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:24,839
Speaker 3: meds that are highly addictive, and then you just have

144
00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:27,520
Speaker 3: to deal with the fact that, you know, sometimes people

145
00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:30,599
Speaker 3: have more addictive personalities and then good hook. I'm not

146
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:32,400
Speaker 3: even sure what the point of my post was. I

147
00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:35,159
Speaker 3: didn't really make much sense because, yeah, he's an able person.

148
00:06:35,279 --> 00:06:37,600
Speaker 3: Why can't he just get a job, come on, dude,

149
00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:39,560
Speaker 3: or be a stay at home dad. Why can't he

150
00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:41,040
Speaker 3: just get a job, come on, dude, or be a

151
00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:41,760
Speaker 3: stay on dad?

152
00:06:41,839 --> 00:06:42,080
Speaker 1: Y'all?

153
00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:44,119
Speaker 3: I would have loved to give him that privilege, if only,

154
00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:47,159
Speaker 3: But people with substance issues can't really keep a job,

155
00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:50,320
Speaker 3: definitely can't be around kids. Okay, I think Op was

156
00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:53,360
Speaker 3: saying like what she thought people would be. Yes, yeah,

157
00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:55,320
Speaker 3: makes a little more sense. A lot of people read

158
00:06:55,320 --> 00:06:57,440
Speaker 3: my post and took time out of the day. Most

159
00:06:57,480 --> 00:06:59,640
Speaker 3: of it was just criticizing us, But I mean that's

160
00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:01,880
Speaker 3: whatever one does to everybody most of the time in

161
00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:04,160
Speaker 3: real life too. Still, I've been feeling some type of

162
00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:06,280
Speaker 3: way about it all being based on a lie. I

163
00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:08,719
Speaker 3: want a life with him. He does love his kids.

164
00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:11,640
Speaker 3: This isn't how it was supposed to go. Then, to

165
00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:14,520
Speaker 3: top it all off, he has, because of his use issues,

166
00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:17,480
Speaker 3: caught like five chargers in the last five or so months.

167
00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:21,600
Speaker 3: He's been wrecking cars, first his then whatever family was

168
00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:24,480
Speaker 3: stupid enough to allow him to drive theirs he's legally

169
00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:27,320
Speaker 3: not allowed to drive. After I posted this, he got

170
00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:30,560
Speaker 3: arrested for driving without a license. I already wasn't sure

171
00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:33,440
Speaker 3: how in the world I could salvage our relationship. Love

172
00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:36,240
Speaker 3: was the only thing keeping me from cutting him off completely.

173
00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:38,560
Speaker 3: His family and I are going to push for him

174
00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:41,760
Speaker 3: remaining in jail or prison and hopefully get him placed

175
00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:45,360
Speaker 3: in a more substance recovery based program. But y'all know

176
00:07:45,440 --> 00:07:48,240
Speaker 3: how f the US prison systems are most likely he'll

177
00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:52,040
Speaker 3: be in general population. Yet even worse mentally and God forbid,

178
00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:55,520
Speaker 3: but may eventually be saying his final goodbyes. My priority

179
00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:58,240
Speaker 3: at this point is shifted from protecting him to protecting

180
00:07:58,280 --> 00:08:01,040
Speaker 3: the general public from him. For now, at least he's

181
00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:03,600
Speaker 3: safe if you consider jail or prison safe, which I

182
00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:06,400
Speaker 3: sure as crapped, don't well, not the American ones, no,

183
00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:09,040
Speaker 3: but at least he want ode right. Honestly, there's not

184
00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:11,600
Speaker 3: even like a guarantee that that is. You know, Oh,

185
00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:13,160
Speaker 3: is so messed up.

186
00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:16,960
Speaker 2: I'm just confused about the origins of the story to know.

187
00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:19,480
Speaker 3: I repeat to myself that it's out of my hands,

188
00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:21,800
Speaker 3: just like this whole experience has been. If y'all, I

189
00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:24,040
Speaker 3: don't even know anymore. My family says they're proud of

190
00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:26,920
Speaker 3: me for holding it together. I'm sure they're disappointed in

191
00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:28,960
Speaker 3: a lot of things I've done, not just keeping the

192
00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:32,319
Speaker 3: door open this long. I've been so dumb throughout my twenties.

193
00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:34,280
Speaker 3: I know I can do better in my decision making.

194
00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:37,200
Speaker 3: Most of all, I want stability for my children. I've

195
00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:39,640
Speaker 3: decided that I'll be serving the divorce papers once he

196
00:08:39,679 --> 00:08:42,800
Speaker 3: gets officially sentenced, which I honestly think that makes sense.

197
00:08:42,920 --> 00:08:44,360
Speaker 3: I think we're at a point where now he's in

198
00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:50,120
Speaker 3: prison for you know, unfortunately for the path that this yeah, yeah,

199
00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:53,320
Speaker 3: something that was not his fault, was not his choice.

200
00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:55,840
Speaker 3: This is now the path that is taken down. And

201
00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:57,560
Speaker 3: I think at that point you do have to focus

202
00:08:57,559 --> 00:08:59,600
Speaker 3: on yourself and your kids. And it really is so

203
00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:02,120
Speaker 3: sad there's kids in the situation. Yeah, you gotta look

204
00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:04,600
Speaker 3: out for him. It's just a dang shame. I love

205
00:09:04,679 --> 00:09:07,160
Speaker 3: the person he was before all this chaos so much.

206
00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:09,960
Speaker 3: Y'all don't even know him holding our two little twins

207
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:12,400
Speaker 3: in the hospital, The dad who cried when I gave

208
00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:15,000
Speaker 3: him a card saying baby A loves you and we'll

209
00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:17,680
Speaker 3: see you soon. Daddy. This is after my twenty months scan.

210
00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:20,839
Speaker 3: I think I can't specifically remember now. Then I handed

211
00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:22,960
Speaker 3: him a second card that says baby B loves you

212
00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:24,720
Speaker 3: too and can't wait to meet you as well. I

213
00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:28,439
Speaker 3: cry every time I think about that. I'm crying right now.

214
00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:30,920
Speaker 3: How do I accept that I can't have that life

215
00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:34,960
Speaker 3: with him? I just don't know. I'm so heartbroken. In short, yeah,

216
00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:37,560
Speaker 3: we'll be moving into the apartment without him. We'll be

217
00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:40,800
Speaker 3: moving on completely in life without him. Maybe one day

218
00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:43,400
Speaker 3: he can join us again. And we'll have more special

219
00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:46,560
Speaker 3: and meaningful days. Maybe not, it's out of my hands.

220
00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:49,240
Speaker 3: I appreciate y'all. Y'all can tear me up for all this,

221
00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:52,520
Speaker 3: that's perfectly fine. I deserve it too. I'm not a saint.

222
00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:55,439
Speaker 3: I've said horrible things to him throughout this time. I've

223
00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:58,280
Speaker 3: been so angry and resentful from how this past year

224
00:09:58,320 --> 00:10:00,280
Speaker 3: and a half has played out. But I'm ready to

225
00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:03,520
Speaker 3: finally move on. Any final thoughts though.

226
00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:06,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, i'd like I agree with you what you said, Like,

227
00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:08,320
Speaker 2: I think it's just come to the point of, like, yes,

228
00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:10,760
Speaker 2: take the children, go live where you have to. It

229
00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:12,840
Speaker 2: does sound like he's getting sentenced and he might be

230
00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:13,960
Speaker 2: away for a little bit.

231
00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:17,360
Speaker 3: Hopefully one day that like, he'll get through this and

232
00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:19,360
Speaker 3: be able to have that relationship with the kids.

233
00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:20,360
Speaker 4: But I hope.

234
00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:20,520
Speaker 1: So.

235
00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:22,600
Speaker 2: I think the only thing people might repeat.

236
00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:24,280
Speaker 4: The shreds for is whatever the heck the beginning of

237
00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:25,040
Speaker 4: the story.

238
00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:26,600
Speaker 3: Was about it In the beginning, that was weird.

239
00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:28,360
Speaker 4: But besides that, going through.

240
00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:31,560
Speaker 3: A lot, Yeah, so I understand. Ope he finishes. I'm

241
00:10:31,559 --> 00:10:33,560
Speaker 3: just gonna leave this here and probably not return to

242
00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,600
Speaker 3: this account. For those of you out there dealing with

243
00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:39,080
Speaker 3: anything like I have. I'm effing sorry. It destroys not

244
00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:42,040
Speaker 3: just the user's life, but anyone who cares about them,

245
00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:44,640
Speaker 3: as long as you care about them. And it isn't

246
00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:47,480
Speaker 3: ever easy to say goodbye to someone you love, not

247
00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:50,679
Speaker 3: in normal circumstances or the extreme. Just know that you're

248
00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:54,040
Speaker 3: not alone. I've tried alan on but wasn't able to

249
00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:58,520
Speaker 3: establish a community. There are resources, genuinely caring people and

250
00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:01,640
Speaker 3: support there if you need. Take care of y'all, and

251
00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:04,360
Speaker 3: there's just comments being like we're there for you. But

252
00:11:04,440 --> 00:11:05,560
Speaker 3: that's the end of that story.

253
00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:09,160
Speaker 2: My husband is always having our neighbor over to our

254
00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:10,800
Speaker 2: home every time I'm away.

255
00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:12,600
Speaker 4: I think they're cheating.

256
00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:17,000
Speaker 2: A woman, Beth thirties female, moved into our state a

257
00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:20,040
Speaker 2: few weeks ago. A single mother would split custody with

258
00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:23,079
Speaker 2: her ex. My husband, Carl, thirty two male, is a

259
00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:26,640
Speaker 2: chairperson of RHA. By the way, this comes from annual

260
00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:29,600
Speaker 2: Razmataz ninety four and if you want to submit your

261
00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:32,520
Speaker 2: own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime, separate it.

262
00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:35,719
Speaker 4: I'm Carly, I'm Sophia, I'm Keon, and we're.

263
00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:37,600
Speaker 2: Here to give good advice goofully, but we don't have

264
00:11:37,679 --> 00:11:39,640
Speaker 2: all the answers. We only know what we would do,

265
00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:41,680
Speaker 2: so let us know what you would do in the comments,

266
00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:45,079
Speaker 2: and Op says. A week or two after moving in,

267
00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:49,080
Speaker 2: she calls my husband and asks his assistance in mounting

268
00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:51,440
Speaker 2: her TV on the wall. He goes and helps. A

269
00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:54,960
Speaker 2: few days later, her dishwasher was leaking. He goes and helps.

270
00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:57,480
Speaker 2: This wasn't a problem for me, as he always helps

271
00:11:57,480 --> 00:11:59,960
Speaker 2: everyone in the estate with little problems. As the week

272
00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:03,600
Speaker 2: go on, she constantly needs help with things, always calling

273
00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:06,760
Speaker 2: him for help. He goes, Now, I started getting annoyed

274
00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:08,960
Speaker 2: as we haven't been in the best day because I've

275
00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:11,480
Speaker 2: just had a baby and he's four months old, and

276
00:12:11,559 --> 00:12:14,360
Speaker 2: we've had fights where I felt he wasn't helping me enough.

277
00:12:14,559 --> 00:12:17,600
Speaker 2: I gave natural birth and I'm still bleeding now and then,

278
00:12:17,760 --> 00:12:19,839
Speaker 2: and my pelvis is still readjusting.

279
00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:22,720
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness. This is a classic time when the

280
00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:25,640
Speaker 3: cheets start cheating when you just when you're pregnant, or

281
00:12:25,679 --> 00:12:28,200
Speaker 3: when you are getting through a pregnant like you know,

282
00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:29,040
Speaker 3: tough pregnancy.

283
00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:30,439
Speaker 2: Nasty nasty boys.

284
00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:34,600
Speaker 4: Nasty boys, pay attention to your child, not your affair.

285
00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:37,080
Speaker 3: Carl goes over to help Beth again.

286
00:12:37,559 --> 00:12:40,320
Speaker 2: Even our neighbors who are very close commented that it's

287
00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:43,440
Speaker 2: odd and offers that we do lunch or something to

288
00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:46,199
Speaker 2: welcome her and to be friends, as she just moved

289
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:49,240
Speaker 2: here and doesn't really know anyone. Mind you, he hasn't

290
00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:52,480
Speaker 2: done this for other people. I correct her, and she's

291
00:12:52,679 --> 00:12:54,320
Speaker 2: very giggly about it.

292
00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:56,720
Speaker 3: You e.

293
00:12:57,679 --> 00:13:00,000
Speaker 2: It was like I looked at you and I was like, hey, Sarah,

294
00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:02,040
Speaker 2: and you were like, oh, actually like sorry, it's Sophia,

295
00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:02,480
Speaker 2: and I'm just.

296
00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:08,439
Speaker 3: Like shut up. I'm also like, why are you even? Honestly,

297
00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:10,679
Speaker 3: if I wasn't one hundred percent sure about someone's name,

298
00:13:10,679 --> 00:13:12,040
Speaker 3: maybe this is just me. I don't I don't say

299
00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:12,360
Speaker 3: their name.

300
00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:13,959
Speaker 4: I don't say I wait for someone else to say, yeah,

301
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:14,840
Speaker 4: I wait, I wait.

302
00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:15,600
Speaker 3: I just so yeah.

303
00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:17,920
Speaker 4: I came up with the yeah, I wait.

304
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:20,480
Speaker 2: She seems okay, a bit too over the top in

305
00:13:20,559 --> 00:13:23,040
Speaker 2: terms of trying to be dominant in a conversation, but

306
00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:25,920
Speaker 2: I think she's okay. She comes over again one more

307
00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:28,400
Speaker 2: time for a barbecue a week or two later, and

308
00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:31,720
Speaker 2: our close neighbors join. They think she's okay too. Then

309
00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:33,960
Speaker 2: that week, while I'm at work, she comes over to

310
00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:38,320
Speaker 2: say hi to my husband you he works from home.

311
00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:41,600
Speaker 2: She's a teacher and schools are currently closed. She shows

312
00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:45,000
Speaker 2: up wearing workout clothes. I got a text from my

313
00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:47,560
Speaker 2: neighbor that also works for home saying, Beth is there.

314
00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:49,000
Speaker 3: Shout out to your neighbor man.

315
00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:51,960
Speaker 2: Not these neighbors that, yeah, I do feel are just

316
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:54,000
Speaker 2: like so in this for the drama, but I love it.

317
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,400
Speaker 4: Oh, they've gotta be all right.

318
00:13:55,640 --> 00:14:00,080
Speaker 3: They're boculars. They've got thelars out the window.

319
00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:02,680
Speaker 2: Being like, who is that? No, she's wearing worked out

320
00:14:02,679 --> 00:14:03,959
Speaker 2: clothes over there today.

321
00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:10,719
Speaker 3: They've got nothing going there, each other doing like all right,

322
00:14:10,760 --> 00:14:13,200
Speaker 3: disturbia over there, Like, oh my god, did you see

323
00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:17,840
Speaker 3: Beth wearing that little aloe set? You know what that means.

324
00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:20,200
Speaker 2: I got a text from my neighbor that also works

325
00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:22,560
Speaker 2: from home saying, Beth is there. I leave it as

326
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:25,560
Speaker 2: my husband is very social and we have cameras.

327
00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:25,760
Speaker 4: In the house.

328
00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:28,560
Speaker 2: The next day, same thing, I mentioned that I'm glad

329
00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:32,280
Speaker 2: she's made a friend. My husband agrees that she's a

330
00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:35,920
Speaker 2: cool chick. This happens about four more times. I then

331
00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:38,600
Speaker 2: have to travel for work four days away, and then

332
00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:42,360
Speaker 2: she came over almost every single day in workout clothes.

333
00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:44,000
Speaker 4: No, no, no, one.

334
00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:45,160
Speaker 1: Night, I want at your place.

335
00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:47,600
Speaker 3: Mmmmm, she's getting her cardio in.

336
00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:50,560
Speaker 2: One night, I watched the cameras and they were sitting

337
00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:53,480
Speaker 2: by the table eating together, and I just lost it.

338
00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:56,600
Speaker 2: My husband is an avid gamer, so he plays games

339
00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:59,800
Speaker 2: every night, eating dinner by his PC. I always be

340
00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:02,320
Speaker 2: him to sit and eat with me. He does it

341
00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:05,520
Speaker 2: maybe once or twice a week. I called with you, Yeah,

342
00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:06,600
Speaker 2: that's said. That's said.

343
00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:08,880
Speaker 3: I want my partner to eat with me as much

344
00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:10,480
Speaker 3: as possible when I'm married.

345
00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:12,880
Speaker 2: I called my husband after Beth had left and told

346
00:15:12,920 --> 00:15:15,280
Speaker 2: him that these visits while I'm not home are making

347
00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:18,480
Speaker 2: me very uncomfortable. She's been over three times while I

348
00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:21,160
Speaker 2: was home, but constantly there when it's just him. He

349
00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:23,359
Speaker 2: apologized and said he will set boundaries.

350
00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:23,760
Speaker 4: Great.

351
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:27,760
Speaker 2: This discussion was on Thursday night. Friday morning, Beth rocks

352
00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:31,040
Speaker 2: up again. I keep my cool because Carl said he

353
00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:33,320
Speaker 2: will talk to her. I get home the Friday night

354
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:36,440
Speaker 2: and we have the discussion again. We are both calm

355
00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:40,240
Speaker 2: and all that Monday morning, our baby got sick. Monday morning,

356
00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:43,000
Speaker 2: our baby got sick. Carl takes him to the doctor

357
00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:44,760
Speaker 2: and tells me that I need to be at home

358
00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:48,120
Speaker 2: Tuesday and Wednesday because Baby can't go to baby school

359
00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:48,920
Speaker 2: because he's sick.

360
00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:50,480
Speaker 4: Baby can't go baby school.

361
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:54,280
Speaker 1: Really funny, baby can't Baby can't go to the baby's school.

362
00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:56,400
Speaker 2: I can't go to baby school today.

363
00:15:56,480 --> 00:15:58,960
Speaker 3: He's been picked out of club Baby for the god

364
00:15:59,040 --> 00:15:59,880
Speaker 3: of club Baby.

365
00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:02,800
Speaker 2: Okay, cool, I can come home early on Monday and

366
00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:06,480
Speaker 2: look after Baby. Monday afternoon, Beth and her ex have

367
00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:10,080
Speaker 2: a chat about an offer my hubby had made to

368
00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:13,200
Speaker 2: the ex about him coming over and also being friends.

369
00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:17,120
Speaker 2: The ex lives in our estate. Too messy. Do you

370
00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:20,000
Speaker 2: think Beth texts my husband about this chat that happened

371
00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:20,560
Speaker 2: on Monday.

372
00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:21,160
Speaker 4: Nope.

373
00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:25,200
Speaker 2: I am home Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Thursday morning, when

374
00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:28,000
Speaker 2: I go to the office, Beth rocks up to chat

375
00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:32,280
Speaker 2: about Itoo. I lost it completely because now it's been

376
00:16:32,320 --> 00:16:32,880
Speaker 2: a week.

377
00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:34,760
Speaker 4: Since I told Carl about my discomfort.

378
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:37,720
Speaker 2: We had a very serious discussion that night where I

379
00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:40,000
Speaker 2: said that if I see her here again when I

380
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:43,120
Speaker 2: am not here, I know he has no regard for

381
00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:46,520
Speaker 2: my feelings. He was adamant about staying friends and asked

382
00:16:46,560 --> 00:16:50,000
Speaker 2: for a compromise. I said that the compromise is that

383
00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:52,360
Speaker 2: she does not come here when I'm not here. The

384
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:54,480
Speaker 2: next morning, he went to go talk to her about it,

385
00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:57,920
Speaker 2: and apparently she was extremely apologetic, really wanting to be

386
00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,800
Speaker 2: friends with me too, But she almost never came over

387
00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:04,240
Speaker 2: when I was home. She hasn't been here since then

388
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:07,600
Speaker 2: two weeks now, and I have not had a text

389
00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:10,280
Speaker 2: or whatever from her. He refused to show me the

390
00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:12,360
Speaker 2: text with her, and I told him that it will

391
00:17:12,359 --> 00:17:14,879
Speaker 2: always bug me if he doesn't show me. He said,

392
00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:17,080
Speaker 2: so be it. I honestly think he was having an

393
00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:20,600
Speaker 2: emotional affair, but I will never know. My close neighbor

394
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:22,880
Speaker 2: told me about a conversation she had with him while

395
00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:24,240
Speaker 2: I was at work a few weeks ago.

396
00:17:24,480 --> 00:17:26,600
Speaker 4: He told me you were jealous, and I said.

397
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:28,879
Speaker 2: Well, can you blame her? Then I said that he

398
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:31,840
Speaker 2: drops everything for these women but doesn't do the same

399
00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:34,719
Speaker 2: for you, and he said, that's what Opie said, And

400
00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:38,520
Speaker 2: then he went silent and changed the subject. Any advice please,

401
00:17:39,119 --> 00:17:41,639
Speaker 2: Do we have some comments? Yeah, But the fact that

402
00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:43,919
Speaker 2: he's like so self aware, like, yeah, I totally do

403
00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:46,160
Speaker 2: do that, it's so suspicious.

404
00:17:46,359 --> 00:17:47,440
Speaker 4: It's so suspicious.

405
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,600
Speaker 3: I don't trust it. I don't trust it. And also

406
00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:51,399
Speaker 3: the fact that you're bringing up that you're you know

407
00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:54,960
Speaker 3: your concerns. Yeah, and he's it doesn't feel like it's

408
00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:57,200
Speaker 3: you know, you're getting kind of anywhere.

409
00:17:56,800 --> 00:17:58,320
Speaker 4: With that, not at all.

410
00:17:58,560 --> 00:18:02,680
Speaker 2: I don't trust its. Comment to one, that's really painful.

411
00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:05,400
Speaker 2: You were right to feel hurt, even if not physical.

412
00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:08,320
Speaker 2: The secrecy and attention he gave her crossed a boundary.

413
00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:09,080
Speaker 4: Ope. He says.

414
00:18:09,119 --> 00:18:11,720
Speaker 2: He honestly made me feel like I was acting crazy

415
00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:14,720
Speaker 2: because he only spoke to her after I went to Lulu.

416
00:18:15,119 --> 00:18:18,359
Speaker 2: But thank you. Comment to two. He crossed many boundaries,

417
00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:20,399
Speaker 2: and this is something that you need to go to

418
00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:23,680
Speaker 2: couples counseling about. You have every right to be concerned

419
00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:26,120
Speaker 2: and upset. I would tell him outright that he had

420
00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:29,200
Speaker 2: an emotional affair. Not only did you see it, but

421
00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:30,439
Speaker 2: the neighbors saw it.

422
00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:31,359
Speaker 4: Yeah.

423
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:34,000
Speaker 2: And his lack of being forthcoming and letting you see

424
00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:37,320
Speaker 2: the text messages is indicative of that and may show

425
00:18:37,359 --> 00:18:39,919
Speaker 2: there is more than an emotional affair. I would go

426
00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:42,439
Speaker 2: see an attorney to get your affairs in order in

427
00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:45,800
Speaker 2: an effort to protect yourself and your child. Additionally, I

428
00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:49,520
Speaker 2: would start sleeping separately for now too. Comment to three says,

429
00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:52,080
Speaker 2: your neighbor is a hero, calling him out for doing

430
00:18:52,119 --> 00:18:55,000
Speaker 2: things for her and not you, hopefully with someone else

431
00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:58,160
Speaker 2: saying it, it actually registers in his truck head, even

432
00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:01,040
Speaker 2: if it's not emotional cheating. He had no regard for

433
00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:03,920
Speaker 2: your feelings or helping you out, but happy to spend

434
00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:08,000
Speaker 2: time helping other women. Totally inappropriate. Agreed, we have an update.

435
00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:09,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, why does he have so much time to help

436
00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:12,960
Speaker 3: her out and like no time to eat dinner with you?

437
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:15,760
Speaker 2: Yeah? I don't like it, Yeah, but we have an update.

438
00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:19,360
Speaker 2: A bit over five weeks later, I managed to see

439
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:22,440
Speaker 2: the messages between them. Nothing of a spicy related nature

440
00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:25,280
Speaker 2: at all, not even flirty. There was a day when

441
00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:28,480
Speaker 2: he texted her at seven thirty, but only texted me

442
00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:30,960
Speaker 2: at nine forty five, after I had sent him a

443
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:32,119
Speaker 2: text at six point fifty.

444
00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:33,720
Speaker 4: But that's as bad as it gets.

445
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:36,159
Speaker 2: He does not know that I've seen the text, so

446
00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:39,040
Speaker 2: I've kept it quiet. We had a massive a few

447
00:19:39,119 --> 00:19:41,680
Speaker 2: days after I made the original post, and I told

448
00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:45,120
Speaker 2: him that I'm considering separation. I think this made him

449
00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:49,040
Speaker 2: realize how serious this all is. It's pretty much a blur.

450
00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:52,680
Speaker 2: But I've started going to therapy to deal with past traumas,

451
00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:55,840
Speaker 2: and I am on antidepressants Carl joined me in my

452
00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:59,560
Speaker 2: last session, and I think he realizes what Beth's intentions were,

453
00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:02,480
Speaker 2: as my male psychologist said that there was a very

454
00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:05,520
Speaker 2: unusual behavior from her and that she is a threat

455
00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:08,480
Speaker 2: and has intentions. Carl and I are doing great now,

456
00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:11,399
Speaker 2: but the reason I am posting this update is to

457
00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:14,639
Speaker 2: show what Beth said to me after I decided to

458
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:17,280
Speaker 2: send her a message to bury the hatchet and move on.

459
00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:21,400
Speaker 2: Here are the texts ME and me is Opie, Dear Beth,

460
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:23,879
Speaker 2: I wanted to share what's been on my mind. I

461
00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:27,040
Speaker 2: was genuinely glad when we first met. It felt like

462
00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:30,320
Speaker 2: I'd found someone new with similar personality, and I thought

463
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:33,560
Speaker 2: there was potential for a real friendship. But as time

464
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:36,679
Speaker 2: has passed, I felt hurt and disrespected by some of

465
00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:40,359
Speaker 2: your choices. As someone who has also experienced betrayal, I

466
00:20:40,359 --> 00:20:43,360
Speaker 2: would have hoped you'd understand how it came across. When

467
00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:46,520
Speaker 2: you frequently visited my husband while I wasn't home, yet

468
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:49,720
Speaker 2: never came when I was there, you had opportunities to

469
00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:52,560
Speaker 2: build a friendship with me too. I've just had a baby,

470
00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:56,960
Speaker 2: and during such a vulnerable time, it was especially difficult

471
00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:59,320
Speaker 2: seeing how often you reached out to Carl for help,

472
00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:04,040
Speaker 2: and things like your son calling him Dada crossline that

473
00:21:04,119 --> 00:21:08,280
Speaker 2: made me deeply uncomfortable. I tried to brush off a lot,

474
00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:11,119
Speaker 2: but when you avoid it coming by during the days

475
00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:13,720
Speaker 2: I was home, only to return the moment I was

476
00:21:13,760 --> 00:21:17,159
Speaker 2: back at work, it became impossible to ignore. I've spoken

477
00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:20,399
Speaker 2: to Carl about his role in this, but as a woman,

478
00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:24,000
Speaker 2: I also expected you to recognize when enough was enough.

479
00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:27,159
Speaker 2: In my position, I believe you would have felt the

480
00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:31,160
Speaker 2: same way. I've acknowledged everything now and I am moving forward.

481
00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:35,000
Speaker 2: Whether it was you seeking attention or Carl enjoying it,

482
00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:37,960
Speaker 2: I was willing to let things go until both of

483
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:41,720
Speaker 2: your actions crossed into what I can only call unacceptable.

484
00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:43,800
Speaker 2: Oh we might not even get Beth side. Beth then

485
00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:46,399
Speaker 2: sent a very long voice note detailing how it wasn't

486
00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:49,679
Speaker 2: her intention to hurt me, how she just naturally gravitates

487
00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:54,160
Speaker 2: towards men blah blah, and how me being an introvert,

488
00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:56,480
Speaker 2: she just didn't want to be in my space blah

489
00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:59,800
Speaker 2: blah blah. Girl then sent I really like.

490
00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:02,199
Speaker 3: You and hope he can still be friends. But in

491
00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:06,040
Speaker 3: saying that, I will respect the boundaries and your wishes.

492
00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:08,680
Speaker 2: And then if he said, I appreciate your message.

493
00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:10,560
Speaker 3: So is that a guess we can be friends.

494
00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:12,640
Speaker 2: If I'm honest. I still hold a lot of resentment,

495
00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:16,800
Speaker 2: mainly because what he was freely giving you attention and effort,

496
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:20,240
Speaker 2: I was begging for and not receiving. He tried his

497
00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:22,600
Speaker 2: best to reach a compromise with me, telling me that

498
00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:25,879
Speaker 2: you were over one day to ask advice because you

499
00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:28,720
Speaker 2: met someone at a bar and wanted his opinion if

500
00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:31,600
Speaker 2: the guy is interested or not. So I received a

501
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:34,320
Speaker 2: lot of mixed stories because I remember you saying that

502
00:22:34,359 --> 00:22:37,520
Speaker 2: you're happy being single and not looking I am working

503
00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:40,600
Speaker 2: through my emotions as I have a lot of unresolved trauma,

504
00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:44,000
Speaker 2: and Carl's constant defending you left a very bad taste

505
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:45,639
Speaker 2: in my mouth. I don't know if it would be

506
00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:48,240
Speaker 2: possible while we are still working on things, as this

507
00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:51,640
Speaker 2: has caused a very big rift between us. I realized

508
00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:54,560
Speaker 2: my mistake here when I gave her a good feeling

509
00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:57,800
Speaker 2: because my husband defended her, and then she sent a

510
00:22:57,840 --> 00:22:58,600
Speaker 2: bunch of texts.

511
00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:01,159
Speaker 3: Carl defended me because he wanted you to realize him

512
00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:03,119
Speaker 3: and I are good friends. I don't want to be

513
00:23:03,119 --> 00:23:04,880
Speaker 3: that person, but I do think you need to take

514
00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:06,080
Speaker 3: a step back and.

515
00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:07,520
Speaker 4: Also put yourself in our shoes.

516
00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:09,919
Speaker 5: Why you have a good husband who loves you and

517
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:12,480
Speaker 5: your son and wants to build a beautiful life with you, guys,

518
00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:16,080
Speaker 5: but you can allow insecurities or misunderstandings to interfere with

519
00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:19,000
Speaker 5: that work on things that that's fine, but don't push

520
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:21,439
Speaker 5: someone away that it's wanting to be both your friends.

521
00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:23,760
Speaker 3: Take time to think, I won't push it. What it

522
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:27,040
Speaker 3: mean by this is to trust your husband. He's incredibly

523
00:23:27,119 --> 00:23:29,120
Speaker 3: loyal to you. That makes it sound like she tried,

524
00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:31,359
Speaker 3: that sounds like he's so loyal to you.

525
00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:34,360
Speaker 2: I tried, yeah, I oh, you have no idea.

526
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:37,640
Speaker 3: But he's social, helpful person who gets along with women

527
00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:40,199
Speaker 3: as his friends, and you need to accept that and

528
00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:42,960
Speaker 3: trust that there's no ill intentions and he genuinely just

529
00:23:43,119 --> 00:23:44,200
Speaker 3: is building friendships.

530
00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:47,080
Speaker 2: She literally sent this in the space of six minutes.

531
00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:50,520
Speaker 2: I responded, sure, I'll put myself in your shoes. Visiting

532
00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:53,520
Speaker 2: a man only when his wife isn't home, constantly asking

533
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:56,320
Speaker 2: him for help with menial things around the house. I

534
00:23:56,440 --> 00:23:58,760
Speaker 2: reached out to bury the hatchet, and then you spit

535
00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:01,359
Speaker 2: out about I mustn't at my insecurities get in the

536
00:24:01,359 --> 00:24:06,320
Speaker 2: way of someone's blatant, disrespectful actions. L and again, I

537
00:24:06,359 --> 00:24:09,240
Speaker 2: don't care who he's friends with, whether it's a wiener

538
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:14,240
Speaker 2: or a lady parts. I'm not jealous by nature, as

539
00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:19,080
Speaker 2: he's had dinner with exes, We've had minajatwas and we

540
00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:21,600
Speaker 2: constantly comment on women that we see in public.

541
00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:22,720
Speaker 1: Wait what okay?

542
00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:25,920
Speaker 2: But when something makes me uncomfortable and I asked that

543
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:29,560
Speaker 2: the visits, well I'm away. Stop then I'm insecure. Thanks.

544
00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:32,480
Speaker 3: No, oh, Pete, that's not what I'm saying. I was

545
00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:34,639
Speaker 3: trying to get you to understand that you have a

546
00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:37,399
Speaker 3: loving and loyal husband and need to allow him to

547
00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:40,240
Speaker 3: be friends with others. I did explain to you from

548
00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:42,520
Speaker 3: my side why I did visit when you weren't there,

549
00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:46,119
Speaker 3: and still did say I will respect your boundaries moving forward,

550
00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:48,240
Speaker 3: but would really like to maintain our friendship.

551
00:24:48,359 --> 00:24:50,840
Speaker 2: He can be friends with whoever the f he wants to.

552
00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:53,640
Speaker 2: I didn't tell him to cut you off. I only

553
00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:55,640
Speaker 2: ask that you not visit him when I'm not here.

554
00:24:56,240 --> 00:24:56,800
Speaker 4: That's it.

555
00:24:57,080 --> 00:24:59,680
Speaker 2: If he ended the friendship that was on him, you're

556
00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:03,200
Speaker 2: bla in disrespect now, honestly got rid of any of

557
00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:05,560
Speaker 2: your chances. I said to you that it is not

558
00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:08,280
Speaker 2: a good idea now while we work on things, and

559
00:25:08,480 --> 00:25:12,280
Speaker 2: you decided that your effing opinion mattered. If I made

560
00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:14,639
Speaker 2: a mistake, I would never put the blame on the

561
00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:18,399
Speaker 2: other woman, blaming her insecurities and saying she must let

562
00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:22,480
Speaker 2: her husband be friends with other women. Shame on you, true,

563
00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:25,280
Speaker 2: I will give you time. There is nothing to think about.

564
00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:28,920
Speaker 2: You showed exactly who you are. Your self absorbed need

565
00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:32,400
Speaker 2: for attention led you to overstep. Whatever place you imagine

566
00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:36,200
Speaker 2: you had in Carl's life doesn't exist. He even sees

567
00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:40,200
Speaker 2: how disrespectful and unacceptable your behavior was. All of us

568
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:43,480
Speaker 2: have lost every ounce of respect for you. Enjoy the

569
00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:46,440
Speaker 2: life you've made for yourself. I then blocked her.

570
00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:47,000
Speaker 4: Good.

571
00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:49,240
Speaker 2: My husband was appalled by her behavior.

572
00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:52,880
Speaker 3: Really, ann said that it's completely unacceptable.

573
00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:55,280
Speaker 2: He did not text her to say that, but he

574
00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:57,760
Speaker 2: did decide that cutting her off was the only option.

575
00:25:58,040 --> 00:26:01,040
Speaker 2: He promised he would tell me if she texted him,

576
00:26:01,119 --> 00:26:03,800
Speaker 2: and he hasn't said anything, so I am trusting him.

577
00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:05,040
Speaker 2: How about he just locks her?

578
00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:06,400
Speaker 4: Yeah?

579
00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:09,240
Speaker 3: How maybe he can't if he's the ha Yeah, gotcha.

580
00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:11,480
Speaker 4: She has moved out of the estate and is no

581
00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:12,719
Speaker 4: longer part of our lives.

582
00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:15,440
Speaker 3: Yes, Ken now By.

583
00:26:16,119 --> 00:26:18,639
Speaker 2: I wish I could have given her a proper send off,

584
00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:22,280
Speaker 2: a glitter explosion or raw fish down her carvents, but

585
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:25,240
Speaker 2: I was too preoccupied with work and my baby. We

586
00:26:25,320 --> 00:26:27,800
Speaker 2: are doing much better, and he sees how much his

587
00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:30,280
Speaker 2: actions have hurt me. He is making more of an

588
00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:32,920
Speaker 2: effort to make me feel better and happy and secure

589
00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:33,720
Speaker 2: in our marriage.

590
00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:37,520
Speaker 4: Thanks for reading. We have some comments. Why are you telling.

591
00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:39,760
Speaker 2: Your potential homewrecker all your personal information?

592
00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:41,520
Speaker 3: Stop texting her?

593
00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:44,719
Speaker 2: You're just giving her the upper hand, spilling the beans

594
00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:46,920
Speaker 2: on every part of your relationship with your husband.

595
00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:47,560
Speaker 4: Stop it.

596
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:49,560
Speaker 2: I don't think this is the end of it. He's

597
00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:51,720
Speaker 2: telling you what you want to hear. She's telling you

598
00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:53,960
Speaker 2: things about your husband as if you don't know him.

599
00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:56,679
Speaker 2: He'll be loving it. This is going one way, and

600
00:26:56,720 --> 00:26:58,880
Speaker 2: I hope you see it and take control before they

601
00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:00,000
Speaker 2: manipulate you further.

602
00:27:00,320 --> 00:27:03,040
Speaker 4: Commenter two. While it may have been cathartic ope.

603
00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:05,840
Speaker 2: You've given her so much information to use against you,

604
00:27:06,119 --> 00:27:08,560
Speaker 2: and the way she's acting, it seems your husband painted

605
00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:11,119
Speaker 2: a very different picture of things to give her the

606
00:27:11,119 --> 00:27:14,720
Speaker 2: impression this was acceptable behavior. I hope things work out

607
00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:17,160
Speaker 2: between you and your husband though, and another.

608
00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:19,159
Speaker 3: Update woo, let's dive in.

609
00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:22,000
Speaker 2: I've read through all the comments and did some thinking.

610
00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:25,240
Speaker 2: I realized that I stuck my whole dang leg in

611
00:27:25,280 --> 00:27:27,000
Speaker 2: my mouth, but I was so caught up in the

612
00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:29,200
Speaker 2: heat of the moments. I guess it was a mix

613
00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:32,439
Speaker 2: of me being on new medication, anger that my husband

614
00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:34,800
Speaker 2: would just not tell her to f off, and me

615
00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:37,240
Speaker 2: trying to set the picture of me not being anything

616
00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:38,280
Speaker 2: close to jealous.

617
00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:39,160
Speaker 4: I realize my.

618
00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:42,840
Speaker 2: Mistake, and it is what it is. To those saying fake,

619
00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:45,280
Speaker 2: I don't really care. That's why I post it on

620
00:27:45,359 --> 00:27:46,600
Speaker 2: a venting subec.

621
00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:47,200
Speaker 4: Yeah.

622
00:27:47,320 --> 00:27:49,639
Speaker 2: Even though things are going better now and we are

623
00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:53,560
Speaker 2: in therapy, I still hold resentment because the outright refused

624
00:27:53,560 --> 00:27:55,920
Speaker 2: to block her while she lived in the estate, saying,

625
00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:58,320
Speaker 2: what if there's an emergency, I can't block a tenant,

626
00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:00,720
Speaker 2: and he refused to call her out on her behavior

627
00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:03,960
Speaker 2: because he doesn't want drama. I respect his decision, but

628
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:07,040
Speaker 2: it still hurts. I also hope that he started having

629
00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:07,600
Speaker 2: dinner with you.

630
00:28:08,160 --> 00:28:10,480
Speaker 3: I hope, so can we just have dinner together?

631
00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:15,959
Speaker 2: It's such an easy thing to ask. You're gonna eat anyway? Yeah,

632
00:28:16,119 --> 00:28:18,560
Speaker 2: We've been together for nearly ten years, and I tell

633
00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:21,160
Speaker 2: him that sometimes I feel he cares about other people's

634
00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:22,320
Speaker 2: emotions more than mine.

635
00:28:22,440 --> 00:28:22,960
Speaker 5: Yeah.

636
00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:25,360
Speaker 2: I pretty much am just keeping a low profile now,

637
00:28:25,560 --> 00:28:28,159
Speaker 2: spending time with my son and trying to focus on

638
00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:29,560
Speaker 2: the happiness that I do have.

639
00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:31,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, you guys need to go like therapy.

640
00:28:32,040 --> 00:28:33,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, you work through.

641
00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:35,840
Speaker 3: This because it doesn't seem like you're on the same

642
00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:38,240
Speaker 3: page in your relationship. And I don't think he fully

643
00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:40,640
Speaker 3: understands why what he did was wrong.

644
00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:41,680
Speaker 2: That's what it feels like.

645
00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:45,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, so I feel like we need us work on this.

646
00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:48,240
Speaker 4: I don't trust that he doesn't just do it again eventually. Agree.

647
00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:51,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, he only saw that way was wrong when she

648
00:28:51,800 --> 00:28:54,840
Speaker 3: started overtly being awful, right, But I don't think he

649
00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:59,520
Speaker 3: understands that. Him prioritizing Beth and you know, like just

650
00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:03,000
Speaker 3: kind of a woman over his wife who's pregnant. Just

651
00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:05,480
Speaker 3: oh sorry, just how the baby even worse?

652
00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:07,080
Speaker 2: So that was the awful part.

653
00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:09,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just the baby and you're not home and

654
00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:11,200
Speaker 3: you're not prioritizing that.

655
00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:12,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, gross, gross.

656
00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:14,560
Speaker 4: Gross's finish it off though, whatever.

657
00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:16,840
Speaker 2: Decisions he makes now going forward, I will address it

658
00:29:16,920 --> 00:29:19,400
Speaker 2: when it happens. I was not in a good mental

659
00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:22,120
Speaker 2: space when this whole thing happened. I am growing as

660
00:29:22,160 --> 00:29:25,240
Speaker 2: a person, am learning to control my emotions, also to

661
00:29:25,280 --> 00:29:27,400
Speaker 2: control what I just blurret out when I am upset.

662
00:29:27,480 --> 00:29:30,120
Speaker 2: Thanks for everyone's input. It's not healthy for me to

663
00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:31,000
Speaker 2: keep dwelling on this.

664
00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:32,800
Speaker 4: I am moving on now.

665
00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:35,240
Speaker 2: Whether my husband wants to move on with me or

666
00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:38,080
Speaker 2: keep his old ways, I will cross that bridge when

667
00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:40,760
Speaker 2: I get there, and I have a plan for if

668
00:29:40,840 --> 00:29:44,120
Speaker 2: things do go sideways. Thank you all. That is the

669
00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:44,959
Speaker 2: end of that story.

670
00:29:46,240 --> 00:29:48,200
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam. We'll get back to the stories.

671
00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:50,160
Speaker 3: But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

672
00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:54,400
Speaker 2: My mother tried to force a prenup paper on my fiance,

673
00:29:54,760 --> 00:29:55,960
Speaker 2: so I shredded it.

674
00:29:56,120 --> 00:29:57,880
Speaker 1: Mmm like string cheese, baby.

675
00:29:58,160 --> 00:29:59,360
Speaker 4: I have forty one mail.

676
00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:02,240
Speaker 2: Am getting married already to Alex thirty two, female who

677
00:30:02,280 --> 00:30:05,160
Speaker 2: is what you might call a dream woman. She is

678
00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:09,040
Speaker 2: everything I want in a woman, beautiful, smart, kind, and

679
00:30:09,160 --> 00:30:11,440
Speaker 2: she likes many of the interests that I have. She

680
00:30:11,680 --> 00:30:14,640
Speaker 2: even took an interest in the same music as me,

681
00:30:14,800 --> 00:30:17,400
Speaker 2: which is amazing all in itself. By the way, this

682
00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:21,040
Speaker 2: comes from Cadillac Man nineteen eighty two twelve and if

683
00:30:21,080 --> 00:30:22,640
Speaker 2: you want us to meet your own stories, go to

684
00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:24,520
Speaker 2: the r slash okay storytime subreddit.

685
00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:28,440
Speaker 4: I'm Carly, I'm Keon, I'm Angie, and we're.

686
00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:30,560
Speaker 2: Here to give good advice goofully, but we don't have

687
00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:32,680
Speaker 2: all the answers. We only know what we would do,

688
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:34,320
Speaker 2: So let us know what you would do in the

689
00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:37,800
Speaker 2: comments and Opie says we both work in the tech

690
00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:41,120
Speaker 2: sector and met through a dating section of a certain

691
00:30:41,200 --> 00:30:45,240
Speaker 2: social media site. I hit like fully, thinking, no, girl

692
00:30:45,320 --> 00:30:46,920
Speaker 2: is too beautiful for any man.

693
00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:50,360
Speaker 1: Wow, what a true modern love story that is, She.

694
00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:54,040
Speaker 2: Messaged me back. We exchanged info, met for the first time,

695
00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:56,760
Speaker 2: and that was that. Less than a year later, I

696
00:30:56,840 --> 00:30:59,920
Speaker 2: proposed and she said yes. What important detail is that

697
00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:03,120
Speaker 2: shortly before we met, I was the lucky recipient of

698
00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:07,000
Speaker 2: a rather large financial uplift. I decided to still work

699
00:31:07,040 --> 00:31:09,120
Speaker 2: at my job as it is a great gig. The

700
00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:11,800
Speaker 2: money is good and I get along well with everyone.

701
00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:15,040
Speaker 2: I was able to buy my own home free and clear,

702
00:31:15,600 --> 00:31:19,560
Speaker 2: plus get a nice new daily driver and a weekend ride.

703
00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:23,400
Speaker 2: Alex knows my financial situation and has never asked for

704
00:31:23,440 --> 00:31:25,920
Speaker 2: a dime of my money. Since she is my partner,

705
00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:28,760
Speaker 2: I have helped her out, the most recent being paying

706
00:31:28,840 --> 00:31:30,360
Speaker 2: off her student loans.

707
00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:32,680
Speaker 1: What bully Okay?

708
00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:35,959
Speaker 2: Before this, we were invited to a charity galap by

709
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:39,040
Speaker 2: her uncle and she went dress shopping. She fell in

710
00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:42,240
Speaker 2: love with one, but nearly cried when she saw the price.

711
00:31:42,480 --> 00:31:45,400
Speaker 2: I insisted on paying the difference because she looked way

712
00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:47,000
Speaker 2: too pretty in it to pass up.

713
00:31:47,160 --> 00:31:48,560
Speaker 4: Fast forward to now.

714
00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:52,120
Speaker 2: It is a month before the wedding and I get

715
00:31:52,120 --> 00:31:55,920
Speaker 2: delivered a large envelope with from mom on it. Back

716
00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:58,280
Speaker 2: when I bought my house, I paid off the remainder

717
00:31:58,320 --> 00:32:01,280
Speaker 2: of my parents' mortgage and they decided to stay where

718
00:32:01,280 --> 00:32:03,480
Speaker 2: they were, which I was fine with. I opened the

719
00:32:03,560 --> 00:32:08,640
Speaker 2: envelope and saw the word prenup and immediately froze. I

720
00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:11,520
Speaker 2: am against prenups because I think they are for self

721
00:32:11,560 --> 00:32:15,760
Speaker 2: absorbed Hollywood types that cannot handle a partnership. So I

722
00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:18,680
Speaker 2: called my mother and asked what the heck. She said

723
00:32:18,720 --> 00:32:21,000
Speaker 2: she had the son of a friend who was a lawyer,

724
00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:24,480
Speaker 2: draw up a prenup. Since I don't understand legal language,

725
00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:27,280
Speaker 2: I did not open it. I let a friend who

726
00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:30,480
Speaker 2: was also a lawyer, look at it. Basically, this prenup

727
00:32:30,560 --> 00:32:35,120
Speaker 2: was written with my uplift taken into consideration and totally

728
00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:36,040
Speaker 2: screwed Alex.

729
00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:37,320
Speaker 4: If we divorced, the.

730
00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:39,640
Speaker 2: House would belong to me, the cars would belong to me,

731
00:32:40,160 --> 00:32:42,840
Speaker 2: and any wealth split would be based on the income

732
00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:45,400
Speaker 2: difference when we first met, which would mean that I

733
00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:48,240
Speaker 2: would get eighty percent and she would get twenty percent

734
00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:51,680
Speaker 2: if that. But there was also a clause about pregnancy

735
00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:55,880
Speaker 2: and childbirth. Alex is what she calls personally pro life

736
00:32:55,920 --> 00:33:00,440
Speaker 2: but not pro suffering. The prenup had an infidelity clause

737
00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:04,080
Speaker 2: that would reduce Alex's share to zero. Yes, you read

738
00:33:04,120 --> 00:33:04,720
Speaker 2: that correctly.

739
00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:07,840
Speaker 1: That seems I think that's common, very common, and that

740
00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:09,320
Speaker 1: sounds pretty well.

741
00:33:09,440 --> 00:33:13,160
Speaker 2: It's taking away anything that she's contributing though, Like even

742
00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:15,480
Speaker 2: if she put a certain amount into the marriage, she

743
00:33:15,520 --> 00:33:17,160
Speaker 2: would get nothing if they divorce.

744
00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:21,360
Speaker 1: Oh oh, so infidel, Yeah, I mean, oh, I've seen

745
00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:24,400
Speaker 1: We've seen those infidelity. Yeah, infidelity clauses make it.

746
00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:26,280
Speaker 6: I feel like it just makes it harder to get

747
00:33:26,280 --> 00:33:29,640
Speaker 6: divorced and adds more another layer to it. So I

748
00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:31,560
Speaker 6: would I don't know, I think that makes sense.

749
00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:35,040
Speaker 2: I personally do nothing that there's a situation where anybody

750
00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:36,680
Speaker 2: should be left unable to.

751
00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:39,040
Speaker 4: Get out because if they get out. They have nothing

752
00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:39,520
Speaker 4: got it.

753
00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:42,920
Speaker 6: I see prenoms is also like another layer of like, oh,

754
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:45,560
Speaker 6: I want to make it harder to get divorced, if

755
00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:47,800
Speaker 6: that makes sense. It's like there's so many repercussions that, like,

756
00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:49,840
Speaker 6: I don't want to but I see your point too.

757
00:33:50,120 --> 00:33:52,959
Speaker 2: I just worry that he would have full financial control

758
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:54,920
Speaker 2: over the situation. And I'm not saying that he's a

759
00:33:54,960 --> 00:33:57,600
Speaker 2: bad guy. I'm just saying that if he turned out to.

760
00:33:57,520 --> 00:34:01,400
Speaker 1: Be one, well, no, I think his mommy is.

761
00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:04,560
Speaker 2: He's not about to take it. I'm just saying that

762
00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:07,880
Speaker 2: personally that's a red flag to me. But he's against it,

763
00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:08,920
Speaker 2: so then it's not gotcha.

764
00:34:09,120 --> 00:34:10,920
Speaker 4: Needless to say, I was pissed.

765
00:34:11,400 --> 00:34:14,160
Speaker 2: I drove over to my parents' house and demanded an

766
00:34:14,200 --> 00:34:16,560
Speaker 2: answer from my mom as to why she would have

767
00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:19,560
Speaker 2: such a crappy prenup drawn up, even if I was

768
00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:22,560
Speaker 2: willing to sign it. She then that loose with apparently

769
00:34:22,719 --> 00:34:26,560
Speaker 2: everything she wanted to say since Alex and I first

770
00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:30,000
Speaker 2: started dating. It is all lust on my side, and

771
00:34:30,120 --> 00:34:34,680
Speaker 2: I'm using Alex's flat Tommy hourglass figure, pretty face, and

772
00:34:34,719 --> 00:34:38,640
Speaker 2: big front airbags to prop up everything else about her.

773
00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:42,240
Speaker 2: It is all money on Alex's side, because apparently women

774
00:34:42,239 --> 00:34:44,680
Speaker 2: that look like her do not go out with guys

775
00:34:44,719 --> 00:34:47,240
Speaker 2: that look like me unless they have a ton of money.

776
00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:50,040
Speaker 1: Thanks for the confidence boost, Mom, that's really sweet.

777
00:34:50,280 --> 00:34:53,799
Speaker 2: Apparently it is because I am not muscular and have

778
00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:56,640
Speaker 2: short hair with a bald spot. When I said Alex

779
00:34:56,719 --> 00:34:59,319
Speaker 2: is not a gold digger and has never once us

780
00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:02,000
Speaker 2: for a dime and she makes her own, my mom said,

781
00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:04,960
Speaker 2: of course, she doesn't have to ask you bail her

782
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:05,840
Speaker 2: out of everything.

783
00:35:05,880 --> 00:35:08,239
Speaker 4: Anyways. Mom finished by saying that.

784
00:35:08,200 --> 00:35:11,640
Speaker 2: If Alex refuses to sign the prenup, she's a gold digger,

785
00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:15,319
Speaker 2: and if she does, she's genuinely in love with me.

786
00:35:15,840 --> 00:35:19,080
Speaker 2: I finished by saying, I'm not signing it, and it

787
00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:22,840
Speaker 2: is going in one place, the paper shredder. I shredded

788
00:35:22,840 --> 00:35:25,680
Speaker 2: it right there. I told my mom we love each

789
00:35:25,719 --> 00:35:28,800
Speaker 2: other and we're not signing a prenup. And of story,

790
00:35:29,080 --> 00:35:33,160
Speaker 2: Mom said, hope her letting you fondle those d cups

791
00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:35,840
Speaker 2: is worth it when she leaves you for a brad

792
00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:38,640
Speaker 2: Pit clone and takes all your money.

793
00:35:38,600 --> 00:35:40,399
Speaker 4: Are you really instilling cord?

794
00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:43,280
Speaker 1: Are you projecting? Would you leave dad for a brad

795
00:35:43,360 --> 00:35:45,120
Speaker 1: Pit clone and a lot of money? I don't know

796
00:35:45,160 --> 00:35:46,759
Speaker 1: like that sounds like you're projecting a little bit.

797
00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:49,160
Speaker 2: That is when I told her to go pound sand

798
00:35:49,320 --> 00:35:51,400
Speaker 2: and that she just got rid of any chance of

799
00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:54,120
Speaker 2: being invited to the wedding. Since then, people on my

800
00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:56,799
Speaker 2: mom's side of the family have texted and called to

801
00:35:56,840 --> 00:35:59,319
Speaker 2: tell me I was way too harsh and she was

802
00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:00,480
Speaker 2: only looking at out for me.

803
00:36:00,719 --> 00:36:01,480
Speaker 4: I don't think.

804
00:36:01,320 --> 00:36:04,840
Speaker 2: I was am I the agle And we have some comments,

805
00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:06,640
Speaker 2: but what say you nah?

806
00:36:06,880 --> 00:36:10,160
Speaker 1: Also, weren't you the one who paid for like their house,

807
00:36:10,239 --> 00:36:12,600
Speaker 1: like their mortgage, mortgage, like.

808
00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:14,360
Speaker 4: Who he bought his own house already?

809
00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:16,640
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, if the money was theirs.

810
00:36:16,440 --> 00:36:18,400
Speaker 4: Then maybe they didn't say.

811
00:36:18,120 --> 00:36:21,080
Speaker 1: But if this is Opie's, let's go with the quotations

812
00:36:21,239 --> 00:36:24,000
Speaker 1: harder money, because I feel like I feel like he

813
00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:25,000
Speaker 1: did something more than that.

814
00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:26,640
Speaker 4: No, he just received it.

815
00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:29,080
Speaker 1: I feel yeah, pretty much. But and they're just jealous

816
00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:31,000
Speaker 1: of they're going after something for it, I know, which

817
00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:34,239
Speaker 1: is crazy. This guy's like, I got drivers, I got

818
00:36:34,280 --> 00:36:38,040
Speaker 1: all this money. Yeah, who are you to say? You know,

819
00:36:38,280 --> 00:36:40,040
Speaker 1: I gave you all these nice things, and you like

820
00:36:40,120 --> 00:36:41,760
Speaker 1: you can get to control my money.

821
00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:45,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would say, like, as long as he's weary

822
00:36:45,040 --> 00:36:48,080
Speaker 2: that it could be for money, since they met and

823
00:36:48,719 --> 00:36:51,399
Speaker 2: immediately got engaged. I don't think that it is from

824
00:36:51,400 --> 00:36:52,319
Speaker 2: the sounds of it, right.

825
00:36:52,320 --> 00:36:54,760
Speaker 1: But I guess there is caution to be like, Okay,

826
00:36:54,760 --> 00:36:56,440
Speaker 1: she's after your money. We haven't gone at any of

827
00:36:56,440 --> 00:37:00,560
Speaker 1: that information of how Alex is with Ope. She seems

828
00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:02,160
Speaker 1: genuine and she's not after.

829
00:37:02,560 --> 00:37:05,720
Speaker 2: We have some comments though, Commenter one, not the ahole.

830
00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:08,640
Speaker 2: Writing a prenup without your input is over the top.

831
00:37:08,800 --> 00:37:12,160
Speaker 2: A prenup is not a bad idea to protect premarital assets,

832
00:37:12,440 --> 00:37:14,800
Speaker 2: but this one is up to you and your fiance

833
00:37:15,080 --> 00:37:18,520
Speaker 2: Commenter two. In the one year you dated, you already

834
00:37:18,719 --> 00:37:21,719
Speaker 2: fully paid her student loans and asked her to marry you.

835
00:37:21,960 --> 00:37:23,160
Speaker 4: That is really quick.

836
00:37:23,360 --> 00:37:25,360
Speaker 2: I mean, your mom made your prenup with you in

837
00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:29,080
Speaker 2: mind and basically made it super unfair. But you seriously

838
00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:32,200
Speaker 2: need one. I'm not saying Alex is using you or whatever,

839
00:37:32,320 --> 00:37:34,280
Speaker 2: but this is one quick wedding.

840
00:37:34,600 --> 00:37:35,480
Speaker 4: People change.

841
00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:38,399
Speaker 2: You barely have time to know each other and could

842
00:37:38,480 --> 00:37:40,920
Speaker 2: still be in the honeymoon phase. You could draft a

843
00:37:40,920 --> 00:37:43,600
Speaker 2: prenup that's much more fair. Just make sure you don't

844
00:37:43,600 --> 00:37:46,400
Speaker 2: get totally rolled over if the worst is to happen

845
00:37:46,719 --> 00:37:50,400
Speaker 2: after thinking about it, I am open to signing a prenup,

846
00:37:50,480 --> 00:37:53,000
Speaker 2: but one that is fair, not one that treats my

847
00:37:53,040 --> 00:37:55,839
Speaker 2: fiance like a gold digger. For the people saying he's

848
00:37:55,880 --> 00:37:58,279
Speaker 2: going to blow through his money. I only use a

849
00:37:58,320 --> 00:38:01,000
Speaker 2: small fraction of my uplift to pay off my parents

850
00:38:01,080 --> 00:38:05,920
Speaker 2: for remaining mortgage by the house, a daily driver, a weekend ride,

851
00:38:06,280 --> 00:38:09,680
Speaker 2: and pay off Alex's college debt. The rest went into

852
00:38:09,680 --> 00:38:12,600
Speaker 2: the bank. While I am still working. My income goes

853
00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:15,200
Speaker 2: a lot farther as I have no outstanding debt.

854
00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:16,680
Speaker 4: Yes, I showed it to Alex.

855
00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:19,759
Speaker 2: A couple days after I stormed out, my mother called

856
00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:22,080
Speaker 2: and said, do you really think I gave you the

857
00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:23,680
Speaker 2: only copy? That?

858
00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:26,720
Speaker 1: She really very true in modern day it's very funny.

859
00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:29,400
Speaker 2: So I took a risk and showed Alex the prenup.

860
00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:32,200
Speaker 2: I expected her to laugh or to lose her mind,

861
00:38:32,320 --> 00:38:35,600
Speaker 2: but she did neither. Her response, either the lawyer who

862
00:38:35,719 --> 00:38:38,400
Speaker 2: drafted this is bad at his job, or he's not

863
00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:42,040
Speaker 2: a lawyer. He googled a prenup template and decided to

864
00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:46,560
Speaker 2: make it as lopsided as possible to make me look bading.

865
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:48,480
Speaker 1: Go for Alex, that's crazy, she like, read through it

866
00:38:48,480 --> 00:38:50,960
Speaker 1: She's like, this is a joke, wrote this is this

867
00:38:51,040 --> 00:38:51,520
Speaker 1: is dumb.

868
00:38:51,680 --> 00:38:54,960
Speaker 2: She is willing to sign a prenup, but a fair one.

869
00:38:55,040 --> 00:38:58,560
Speaker 2: She is a tech fiend, savvier than me. She used

870
00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:01,880
Speaker 2: to date Jim Rats because she was told to match dedication,

871
00:39:02,280 --> 00:39:06,600
Speaker 2: but discovered they had no personality besides the gym Wow.

872
00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:09,799
Speaker 2: Her friend told her to date someone with shared interests.

873
00:39:09,960 --> 00:39:12,759
Speaker 2: She saw my like, figured he's a cute nerd who

874
00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:15,920
Speaker 2: works in tech, liked me back, and the rest is history.

875
00:39:16,040 --> 00:39:18,440
Speaker 2: I only told her about my money a month after

876
00:39:18,480 --> 00:39:19,360
Speaker 2: we started dating.

877
00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:22,319
Speaker 4: That seems really quick. A month in.

878
00:39:23,120 --> 00:39:25,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean on the first day you're like, oh,

879
00:39:25,239 --> 00:39:26,440
Speaker 1: what do you do for work? You know?

880
00:39:26,920 --> 00:39:29,200
Speaker 2: He still he totally could just be like, yeah, I

881
00:39:29,239 --> 00:39:31,359
Speaker 2: do this for this tech startup. And then a couple

882
00:39:31,360 --> 00:39:34,520
Speaker 2: months and you're like, by the way, I might be

883
00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:35,359
Speaker 2: really rare.

884
00:39:35,480 --> 00:39:38,640
Speaker 1: I don't know. He keeps buying me really fancy dinners

885
00:39:38,680 --> 00:39:40,200
Speaker 1: like caviar, but.

886
00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:42,359
Speaker 2: He makes a good amount on his own, So like,

887
00:39:42,400 --> 00:39:44,279
Speaker 2: he totally could have gotten away with just being like,

888
00:39:44,360 --> 00:39:45,200
Speaker 2: this is my job.

889
00:39:45,239 --> 00:39:46,080
Speaker 4: I got a good job.

890
00:39:46,120 --> 00:39:47,879
Speaker 1: She plays it off really nonchalantly.

891
00:39:48,080 --> 00:39:52,000
Speaker 2: Yeah. One of her friends wants asked he is bolding

892
00:39:52,040 --> 00:39:56,359
Speaker 2: and has a dad bought why, Alex said, so he

893
00:39:56,360 --> 00:39:59,279
Speaker 2: doesn't have a six pack. Who cares hair is just hair?

894
00:39:59,440 --> 00:40:00,799
Speaker 2: I haven't, no for the both of us.

895
00:40:00,800 --> 00:40:02,880
Speaker 1: That's kind of cute. That's a very cute way to

896
00:40:02,920 --> 00:40:03,440
Speaker 1: go about it.

897
00:40:03,520 --> 00:40:05,520
Speaker 4: I think the friends just need to shut their mouths.

898
00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:08,399
Speaker 1: Like that's the same friend who was like, stop dating gym, guys,

899
00:40:08,480 --> 00:40:09,760
Speaker 1: find someone that likes your same.

900
00:40:09,600 --> 00:40:12,160
Speaker 3: Inerry, She's like, I listened to you, I.

901
00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:15,720
Speaker 1: Took your advice, and now you're friend.

902
00:40:15,920 --> 00:40:18,440
Speaker 2: I used to get nightmares about her rejecting me if

903
00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:21,800
Speaker 2: I lost everything. I saw a therapist who helped me understand.

904
00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:25,840
Speaker 2: My brain was struggling to accept that someone like Alex

905
00:40:25,960 --> 00:40:28,520
Speaker 2: chose me. On a trip to the Keys, I told

906
00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:31,000
Speaker 2: her I loved her, and she set it back. She

907
00:40:31,280 --> 00:40:35,880
Speaker 2: then took off her bikini and said, bed, now what

908
00:40:36,239 --> 00:40:39,920
Speaker 2: nightmare gone? Alex loves that I am direct. On our

909
00:40:39,960 --> 00:40:42,919
Speaker 2: first date, she asked me about my fancy electric car

910
00:40:43,400 --> 00:40:46,279
Speaker 2: and I said, you'll never see a fancy electric car

911
00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:49,400
Speaker 2: in my garage because their build quality is garbage.

912
00:40:49,520 --> 00:40:51,279
Speaker 4: She said, the honesty was refreshing.

913
00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:54,880
Speaker 1: If your mom's tripling doubling down, if she keeps sending

914
00:40:54,920 --> 00:40:58,080
Speaker 1: you those copies, of the prenup. Just send her string cheese.

915
00:40:58,440 --> 00:40:59,279
Speaker 1: That's what I'm doing with it.

916
00:40:59,400 --> 00:41:01,000
Speaker 4: I should get upshtting it.

917
00:41:01,160 --> 00:41:03,839
Speaker 1: Personally, I would say, go at your own pace. If

918
00:41:03,840 --> 00:41:06,080
Speaker 1: this is the pace that you think is right, and

919
00:41:06,600 --> 00:41:09,960
Speaker 1: Alex wants to pace at for your relationship, do what

920
00:41:10,040 --> 00:41:13,520
Speaker 1: do you do? It's your thing. Have fun. But I

921
00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:16,800
Speaker 1: would be saying, like you are doing this very quickly,

922
00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:17,640
Speaker 1: all within.

923
00:41:17,480 --> 00:41:18,560
Speaker 2: A year, real quick.

924
00:41:18,800 --> 00:41:19,719
Speaker 4: We got a little bit off.

925
00:41:20,080 --> 00:41:22,239
Speaker 2: I told her she should tell my mother all of this.

926
00:41:22,560 --> 00:41:26,040
Speaker 2: So we went to my parents' house. Alex said, I

927
00:41:26,080 --> 00:41:29,240
Speaker 2: saw the prenup. I will sign one, but not that bus.

928
00:41:29,719 --> 00:41:30,520
Speaker 4: She said.

929
00:41:30,560 --> 00:41:33,160
Speaker 2: Even if the money disappeared, she would still be with me,

930
00:41:33,680 --> 00:41:37,640
Speaker 2: and she cannot wait to marry me. I said, Alex

931
00:41:37,719 --> 00:41:40,560
Speaker 2: completes me, and she is my missing piece. My mother

932
00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:43,600
Speaker 2: took the rest of the prenups and shredded them. I

933
00:41:43,640 --> 00:41:46,480
Speaker 2: think you're good without this, she said, then added that

934
00:41:46,560 --> 00:41:50,200
Speaker 2: the lawyer who drafted it had his license suspended. I

935
00:41:50,280 --> 00:41:52,680
Speaker 2: asked Alex if my mother is allowed at the wedding.

936
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:54,280
Speaker 4: Alex said, as.

937
00:41:54,160 --> 00:41:57,319
Speaker 2: Long as she behaves, she is invited. Looks like the

938
00:41:57,360 --> 00:42:00,920
Speaker 2: prenup thing is settled. Have a great weekend. Read and

939
00:42:00,920 --> 00:42:02,400
Speaker 2: that is the end of that story.

940
00:42:03,239 --> 00:42:07,040
Speaker 1: My family tried to take over my house, so I'm selling.

941
00:42:06,680 --> 00:42:09,280
Speaker 4: It so you or them can't happen.

942
00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:12,840
Speaker 1: I thirty two female, I'm tired. Y'all stick with me.

943
00:42:13,120 --> 00:42:15,720
Speaker 1: It is a long one. About a year ago, my parents,

944
00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:18,200
Speaker 1: fifty two each moved into my house with the agreement

945
00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:20,800
Speaker 1: that they would pay me rent instead of renting another

946
00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:22,959
Speaker 1: place to save up some money and buy their own

947
00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:27,080
Speaker 1: house nearby. They had been living several states away, but

948
00:42:27,120 --> 00:42:29,080
Speaker 1: my mother got a new job near me and they

949
00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:31,560
Speaker 1: wanted to relocate. By the way, this comes from user

950
00:42:31,920 --> 00:42:34,120
Speaker 1: Unoffended and if you want to submit your own stories,

951
00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:36,200
Speaker 1: go to the r slash. Okay, sorry time, supret it.

952
00:42:36,280 --> 00:42:39,400
Speaker 4: I'm Keon, I'm Carly, and I'm Angie.

953
00:42:39,080 --> 00:42:41,120
Speaker 1: And we're here to give good advice. Goofily, but we

954
00:42:41,120 --> 00:42:43,239
Speaker 1: don't have all the answers. We only know what we do,

955
00:42:43,640 --> 00:42:46,080
Speaker 1: so please, please, please please let us know what you do.

956
00:42:46,160 --> 00:42:48,960
Speaker 1: In the comments, oh p says I had a dog

957
00:42:49,160 --> 00:42:51,600
Speaker 1: and a cat, and they brought a dog and a cat.

958
00:42:51,760 --> 00:42:54,279
Speaker 1: We have never had a great relationship and I was

959
00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:57,360
Speaker 1: low contact with them for a long time, but my

960
00:42:57,480 --> 00:42:59,640
Speaker 1: husband thought not having them around to help us get

961
00:42:59,680 --> 00:43:03,160
Speaker 1: into a better financial situation after purchasing my house, while

962
00:43:03,239 --> 00:43:05,680
Speaker 1: they also got themselves into a better spot. Would help

963
00:43:05,880 --> 00:43:10,720
Speaker 1: everyone out. It was only for a short time, right wrong.

964
00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:13,920
Speaker 1: A couple months later, my husband of nearly ten years

965
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:16,839
Speaker 1: asked for divorce. Oh no, it had been a long

966
00:43:16,880 --> 00:43:20,000
Speaker 1: time coming for this divorce. I was not surprised, but

967
00:43:20,480 --> 00:43:22,799
Speaker 1: I was not happy about it, especially since it was

968
00:43:22,840 --> 00:43:26,040
Speaker 1: clear afterward that he had manipulated me into allowing my

969
00:43:26,200 --> 00:43:28,600
Speaker 1: parents to move in so they can cover the mortgage

970
00:43:28,640 --> 00:43:30,600
Speaker 1: and he can run off to live his best life

971
00:43:30,640 --> 00:43:33,600
Speaker 1: back at home with his family. He rejected the idea

972
00:43:33,600 --> 00:43:36,480
Speaker 1: of counseling and left in December. That was a whole

973
00:43:36,680 --> 00:43:40,040
Speaker 1: separate ordeal, but basically it is done and over with. Now.

974
00:43:40,160 --> 00:43:42,000
Speaker 1: It is in the divorce that I can take the

975
00:43:42,040 --> 00:43:45,200
Speaker 1: house if I can refinance into my name, or we

976
00:43:45,280 --> 00:43:47,440
Speaker 1: can sell it. The problem was that I did not

977
00:43:47,520 --> 00:43:50,319
Speaker 1: make enough to refinance, so my parents have stayed on

978
00:43:50,360 --> 00:43:52,480
Speaker 1: to help me out it accordance with the laws. Here,

979
00:43:52,600 --> 00:43:54,879
Speaker 1: after I can prove their rental income for a year,

980
00:43:55,080 --> 00:43:57,960
Speaker 1: then it becomes part of my income and I can refinance.

981
00:43:58,280 --> 00:44:01,880
Speaker 1: That year comes up next month, however, and this is

982
00:44:01,880 --> 00:44:06,240
Speaker 1: where things get really complex. My sister, twenty eight female

983
00:44:06,520 --> 00:44:08,719
Speaker 1: is now living in my house as well, and she

984
00:44:08,960 --> 00:44:12,200
Speaker 1: also brought a dog and two cats. So let's do

985
00:44:12,280 --> 00:44:13,319
Speaker 1: some simple math here, guys.

986
00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:14,160
Speaker 2: Let's see this math.

987
00:44:14,239 --> 00:44:15,920
Speaker 4: We got cats, three dogs.

988
00:44:15,800 --> 00:44:19,200
Speaker 1: Yes, so that is three dogs and four cats now

989
00:44:19,280 --> 00:44:23,240
Speaker 1: in my sixteen hundred square foot house. She was fleeing

990
00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:26,719
Speaker 1: a harmful relationship, so I cannot fault her with my

991
00:44:26,840 --> 00:44:29,279
Speaker 1: ex gone. I had the room, and I love her

992
00:44:29,480 --> 00:44:31,480
Speaker 1: and wanted to help her out. She had to give

993
00:44:31,560 --> 00:44:33,760
Speaker 1: up two animals to move in, and I thought making

994
00:44:33,800 --> 00:44:36,480
Speaker 1: her give up anymore would make the trauma worse, so

995
00:44:36,560 --> 00:44:38,040
Speaker 1: I did not want to tell her to leave all

996
00:44:38,040 --> 00:44:41,239
Speaker 1: the cats. I am now overwhelmed by the animals, but

997
00:44:41,320 --> 00:44:43,400
Speaker 1: I cannot tell anyone to get rid of them, so

998
00:44:43,600 --> 00:44:45,960
Speaker 1: I'm kind of stuck with that. In the meantime, my

999
00:44:46,040 --> 00:44:48,839
Speaker 1: parents began fighting again. It is a cycle with them.

1000
00:44:48,960 --> 00:44:51,640
Speaker 1: They are both toxic af and that is why I

1001
00:44:51,800 --> 00:44:54,160
Speaker 1: was low contact in the first place. To make that

1002
00:44:54,239 --> 00:44:57,239
Speaker 1: story short, my mom effectively punted out my dad. He

1003
00:44:57,320 --> 00:45:00,840
Speaker 1: had not worked for sixteen years, but it did all

1004
00:45:00,960 --> 00:45:03,840
Speaker 1: the home maintenance chores and took care of the animals.

1005
00:45:04,160 --> 00:45:06,920
Speaker 1: They are getting a divorce and it is messy. So

1006
00:45:06,960 --> 00:45:09,200
Speaker 1: they're getting a divorce after you got a divorce.

1007
00:45:09,480 --> 00:45:14,359
Speaker 4: In this house, Monster.

1008
00:45:15,719 --> 00:45:17,920
Speaker 1: Mom was gone for the work trips three of the

1009
00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:20,480
Speaker 1: four weeks this month. At the same time, my sister

1010
00:45:20,520 --> 00:45:23,080
Speaker 1: took a week's vacation back to our original home state

1011
00:45:23,320 --> 00:45:27,000
Speaker 1: to visit friends. I had sole responsibility for all animals,

1012
00:45:27,160 --> 00:45:30,440
Speaker 1: and my mom's dog is a nightmare. I had poop

1013
00:45:30,480 --> 00:45:33,560
Speaker 1: piles to pick up almost every day when I got

1014
00:45:33,560 --> 00:45:36,040
Speaker 1: home from work for a whole week because her dog

1015
00:45:36,160 --> 00:45:38,240
Speaker 1: was used to having my dad home all the time

1016
00:45:38,480 --> 00:45:41,920
Speaker 1: to let him out. Like I said, I am tired.

1017
00:45:42,120 --> 00:45:44,040
Speaker 1: It is a lot of drama. It is a lot

1018
00:45:44,080 --> 00:45:46,759
Speaker 1: of animals. All my own personal struggles from this year,

1019
00:45:46,960 --> 00:45:49,600
Speaker 1: my divorce was a big deal for me, were drowned

1020
00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:52,239
Speaker 1: amidst everyone else's and I have not been able to

1021
00:45:52,239 --> 00:45:54,839
Speaker 1: fully process the changes in my own life without being

1022
00:45:54,840 --> 00:45:58,120
Speaker 1: suffocated under everyone else's problems. I feel like I'm being

1023
00:45:58,280 --> 00:46:00,680
Speaker 1: used as the backup plan for everyone in my family.

1024
00:46:00,880 --> 00:46:04,680
Speaker 1: I can barely afford this house. Actually I can't afford

1025
00:46:04,719 --> 00:46:08,200
Speaker 1: it at all without other people paying bills, which means

1026
00:46:08,239 --> 00:46:10,919
Speaker 1: if I refinance, then I have to keep everyone here

1027
00:46:11,160 --> 00:46:13,279
Speaker 1: every time I bring up selling. My mom and sister

1028
00:46:13,320 --> 00:46:16,120
Speaker 1: both jump on convincing me to keep it. Mostly I

1029
00:46:16,160 --> 00:46:18,440
Speaker 1: am well aware of it because it benefits them if

1030
00:46:18,480 --> 00:46:20,880
Speaker 1: they can live in my house, as renting from me

1031
00:46:21,080 --> 00:46:22,960
Speaker 1: is cheaper than a standard landlord.

1032
00:46:23,320 --> 00:46:25,879
Speaker 2: Solly, you need them to stay so that you can

1033
00:46:25,920 --> 00:46:27,440
Speaker 2: refinance the house.

1034
00:46:27,280 --> 00:46:30,120
Speaker 1: And they need they need because they don't have anywhere

1035
00:46:30,239 --> 00:46:30,520
Speaker 1: to go.

1036
00:46:30,760 --> 00:46:33,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's the problem, just that he's too overwhelmed with

1037
00:46:33,440 --> 00:46:36,160
Speaker 2: it all, with all the pets. She op is just

1038
00:46:36,239 --> 00:46:37,200
Speaker 2: because of all the pets.

1039
00:46:37,320 --> 00:46:40,880
Speaker 1: Well, it's just in general, like everyone like there's another divorce.

1040
00:46:40,520 --> 00:46:43,040
Speaker 2: Happenings, Like y'all both need each other. But then I

1041
00:46:43,080 --> 00:46:45,520
Speaker 2: forgot that they have seven pets in the house.

1042
00:46:45,800 --> 00:46:48,040
Speaker 1: Opie's parents are toxic af.

1043
00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:49,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, that'll do it.

1044
00:46:49,880 --> 00:46:51,560
Speaker 1: The home is where the heart is, and there's no

1045
00:46:51,600 --> 00:46:54,720
Speaker 1: heart in this house. There's a lot of dog poop,

1046
00:46:55,040 --> 00:46:57,600
Speaker 1: a lot of dog a dog poop and cat poop.

1047
00:46:58,160 --> 00:47:01,600
Speaker 1: He gives Should we sell the house, y'all?

1048
00:47:01,920 --> 00:47:07,160
Speaker 2: I like don't necessarily know the financials enough to be like, yes,

1049
00:47:07,239 --> 00:47:07,600
Speaker 2: sell it.

1050
00:47:07,840 --> 00:47:10,759
Speaker 1: At this point, it seems like everyone's codependent on each other,

1051
00:47:10,960 --> 00:47:14,880
Speaker 1: but it's like a really unhealthy codependency. So I feel

1052
00:47:14,880 --> 00:47:17,640
Speaker 1: like everyone needs to go their separate ways. Everyone here

1053
00:47:17,719 --> 00:47:19,760
Speaker 1: is adults. I get it. You're trying to help everyone out,

1054
00:47:19,840 --> 00:47:23,120
Speaker 1: but it's not benefiting you at all, Opie, other than

1055
00:47:23,239 --> 00:47:26,920
Speaker 1: more stress and more poop. There's so much poop. I

1056
00:47:27,000 --> 00:47:29,560
Speaker 1: told my mom that I may get this new job opportunity.

1057
00:47:29,840 --> 00:47:31,879
Speaker 1: I should know in a couple of weeks. It has

1058
00:47:31,920 --> 00:47:35,360
Speaker 1: been a month long hiring and vetting process because it

1059
00:47:35,440 --> 00:47:37,759
Speaker 1: is law enforcement, not a job as a cop, but

1060
00:47:37,800 --> 00:47:39,520
Speaker 1: as a nine to one to one dispatch. Then I

1061
00:47:39,520 --> 00:47:42,120
Speaker 1: have six months of training over an hour drive away.

1062
00:47:42,280 --> 00:47:44,239
Speaker 1: I would have to get a studio apartment for those

1063
00:47:44,320 --> 00:47:47,600
Speaker 1: months because I do not want that massive commute five

1064
00:47:47,680 --> 00:47:51,360
Speaker 1: days a week. The first thing out of her mouth was, Okay,

1065
00:47:51,880 --> 00:47:54,160
Speaker 1: I will take over your room and bring my stuff

1066
00:47:54,160 --> 00:47:56,520
Speaker 1: here from my storage unit out of state. Okay, we

1067
00:47:56,520 --> 00:47:58,760
Speaker 1: can convert the room I am using back to a den.

1068
00:47:58,960 --> 00:48:00,879
Speaker 1: It would be great to have my own stuff again.

1069
00:48:01,160 --> 00:48:04,160
Speaker 1: And I will paint, like really just ready for me

1070
00:48:04,239 --> 00:48:07,000
Speaker 1: to leave my own house so you can turn it

1071
00:48:07,040 --> 00:48:12,080
Speaker 1: into yours. So Reddit, from an outsider's perspective, am I overreacting?

1072
00:48:12,080 --> 00:48:15,000
Speaker 1: If I get this new job, get a studio and sell

1073
00:48:15,040 --> 00:48:18,200
Speaker 1: the house. So there's no room for anyone but me.

1074
00:48:18,800 --> 00:48:20,800
Speaker 1: We do have an update, but we've set our piece.

1075
00:48:22,360 --> 00:48:24,719
Speaker 1: It's I feel like, once you sell this house, you

1076
00:48:24,760 --> 00:48:27,239
Speaker 1: can figure out your own life, like they have their

1077
00:48:27,280 --> 00:48:29,319
Speaker 1: own lives. Yes, you are helping them for a little bit,

1078
00:48:29,480 --> 00:48:32,640
Speaker 1: your sister, your family, your parents, but you don't owe

1079
00:48:32,640 --> 00:48:37,000
Speaker 1: them years of like struggle and stress amidst your own

1080
00:48:37,120 --> 00:48:39,360
Speaker 1: like were they were. They They are helping you and

1081
00:48:39,400 --> 00:48:41,960
Speaker 1: supporting you when you were getting a divorce, I would hope.

1082
00:48:42,000 --> 00:48:44,360
Speaker 4: So I'm like, it doesn't even seem like OPI wants

1083
00:48:44,400 --> 00:48:45,800
Speaker 4: the house. Just sell the house.

1084
00:48:46,040 --> 00:48:49,279
Speaker 1: Sell the house the house, and tell them like, hey,

1085
00:48:49,280 --> 00:48:52,040
Speaker 1: I'm selling the house. Figure it out. You guys are adults.

1086
00:48:52,400 --> 00:48:53,839
Speaker 1: And if they get upset in you, but.

1087
00:48:53,920 --> 00:48:55,680
Speaker 2: It'll go on the market, you can buy it.

1088
00:48:56,040 --> 00:48:58,040
Speaker 1: Yeah. I can see them getting upset to like, oh,

1089
00:48:58,040 --> 00:48:59,799
Speaker 1: I'm gonna sell the house guys, and they're like, no,

1090
00:48:59,840 --> 00:49:03,040
Speaker 1: you can't do that. It's your technically your house. Yeah,

1091
00:49:03,080 --> 00:49:05,160
Speaker 1: but we do have an update. Okay, it has been

1092
00:49:05,360 --> 00:49:08,600
Speaker 1: just over twenty four hours now, and some of y'all

1093
00:49:08,680 --> 00:49:11,719
Speaker 1: really woke me up with the cold hard reality I

1094
00:49:11,760 --> 00:49:14,600
Speaker 1: needed sometimes. So thank you to those of you who

1095
00:49:14,600 --> 00:49:17,880
Speaker 1: are more gentle and understanding. Thank you as well. It

1096
00:49:18,040 --> 00:49:20,000
Speaker 1: meant a lot to me. To those of you who

1097
00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:23,319
Speaker 1: can relate, I am so sorry. I hope you also

1098
00:49:23,360 --> 00:49:26,040
Speaker 1: took some of these comments and applied them to your situation.

1099
00:49:26,320 --> 00:49:29,280
Speaker 1: And here's the update that might give you a little hope.

1100
00:49:29,360 --> 00:49:31,799
Speaker 1: I got a preapproval for a new loan within my

1101
00:49:31,960 --> 00:49:35,520
Speaker 1: means now that I am single income, connected with a realtor,

1102
00:49:35,920 --> 00:49:38,200
Speaker 1: and I am now taking the first steps to selling

1103
00:49:38,239 --> 00:49:42,120
Speaker 1: my house and buying a much smaller and more affordable

1104
00:49:42,120 --> 00:49:45,880
Speaker 1: one in a meeting with that realtor tomorrow afternoon. Great,

1105
00:49:47,160 --> 00:49:49,600
Speaker 1: that's good news for you. I'm expecting there's gonna be

1106
00:49:49,640 --> 00:49:50,120
Speaker 1: bad news.

1107
00:49:50,239 --> 00:49:52,440
Speaker 2: Staate it close to where you have to go so

1108
00:49:52,480 --> 00:49:54,280
Speaker 2: that we don't also have to buy a studio.

1109
00:49:54,680 --> 00:49:56,960
Speaker 1: We'll see. I have talked to both my mother and

1110
00:49:57,160 --> 00:50:00,200
Speaker 1: sister today. With my sister, I was very open and

1111
00:50:00,239 --> 00:50:03,960
Speaker 1: candid all about my reasoning, above all my mental well being.

1112
00:50:04,120 --> 00:50:06,560
Speaker 1: I also gently let her know that I think all

1113
00:50:06,560 --> 00:50:08,440
Speaker 1: of us being on our own is an important step

1114
00:50:08,480 --> 00:50:12,840
Speaker 1: into regaining some perspective, focus and direction in our own lives.

1115
00:50:13,160 --> 00:50:15,160
Speaker 1: None of us have ever been on our own, and

1116
00:50:15,200 --> 00:50:17,200
Speaker 1: we really need to prove to ourselves that we are

1117
00:50:17,280 --> 00:50:20,560
Speaker 1: capable women who can take care of ourselves. It was Tierri,

1118
00:50:21,200 --> 00:50:23,400
Speaker 1: but she understood. I know some of you were a

1119
00:50:23,400 --> 00:50:26,000
Speaker 1: bit harsh on her, but she is not the bad guy.

1120
00:50:26,200 --> 00:50:28,640
Speaker 1: We have really been through it. I've just always been

1121
00:50:28,680 --> 00:50:30,720
Speaker 1: through it a lot more because I am the protective

1122
00:50:30,760 --> 00:50:33,400
Speaker 1: elder sister who is forced to grow out fast, and

1123
00:50:33,480 --> 00:50:36,239
Speaker 1: I sacrifice the majority of my childhood to raise her,

1124
00:50:36,400 --> 00:50:39,680
Speaker 1: which I know is no longer my problem, but I

1125
00:50:39,680 --> 00:50:41,600
Speaker 1: will always have a soft spot. I just have to

1126
00:50:41,600 --> 00:50:44,600
Speaker 1: set boundaries and put myself first now, and I am

1127
00:50:44,760 --> 00:50:47,120
Speaker 1: doing that good. I was a bit more cowardly with

1128
00:50:47,200 --> 00:50:49,279
Speaker 1: my mother. I kind of blame my need to sell

1129
00:50:49,320 --> 00:50:51,320
Speaker 1: the house on my mental health and my ability to

1130
00:50:51,360 --> 00:50:53,799
Speaker 1: succeed in my new career path. This is without having

1131
00:50:53,800 --> 00:50:55,919
Speaker 1: the job at the moment, but I am okay where

1132
00:50:55,960 --> 00:50:58,439
Speaker 1: I am if that does fall through. My current job

1133
00:50:58,560 --> 00:51:01,319
Speaker 1: is fine and I like my workers. I'm just not

1134
00:51:01,480 --> 00:51:03,719
Speaker 1: making the money that I would like to, and I'm

1135
00:51:03,760 --> 00:51:06,319
Speaker 1: not contributing to society the way I want to. That

1136
00:51:06,640 --> 00:51:09,600
Speaker 1: is all. Still, my mental health is a huge factor,

1137
00:51:09,680 --> 00:51:11,759
Speaker 1: and not to be disregarded. I told my mom the

1138
00:51:11,800 --> 00:51:14,200
Speaker 1: house was too much of a burden for me when

1139
00:51:14,200 --> 00:51:16,560
Speaker 1: she asked about renting it from me. I put my

1140
00:51:16,560 --> 00:51:18,640
Speaker 1: foot down and said that if something happened to her

1141
00:51:19,040 --> 00:51:21,440
Speaker 1: or any renter for that matter, I would be in

1142
00:51:21,600 --> 00:51:25,360
Speaker 1: dire straits great band. So no, I will not be

1143
00:51:25,440 --> 00:51:27,799
Speaker 1: renting it. I do not have the capacity to be

1144
00:51:27,840 --> 00:51:30,600
Speaker 1: a landlord, nor the will to be. I will be selling.

1145
00:51:30,840 --> 00:51:32,480
Speaker 1: And that was all there was to it.

1146
00:51:32,600 --> 00:51:36,160
Speaker 4: Honey, Yes, you're selling the house.

1147
00:51:38,719 --> 00:51:41,160
Speaker 1: I hope all the dog poop is yeah.

1148
00:51:41,239 --> 00:51:42,440
Speaker 4: I don't know. Good for you.

1149
00:51:42,640 --> 00:51:43,160
Speaker 1: I'm happy.

1150
00:51:43,400 --> 00:51:43,480
Speaker 2: No.

1151
00:51:43,600 --> 00:51:45,960
Speaker 4: I mean, we said understanding your boundaries. Seems like they

1152
00:51:45,960 --> 00:51:46,680
Speaker 4: were all respected.

1153
00:51:46,760 --> 00:51:49,000
Speaker 1: We said it before you even said it. Op. You

1154
00:51:49,000 --> 00:51:52,120
Speaker 1: guys are all adults. You guys can figure it out,

1155
00:51:53,040 --> 00:51:53,840
Speaker 1: very adult like.

1156
00:51:53,880 --> 00:51:55,880
Speaker 4: The mom was like, well, why can't we do this?

1157
00:51:55,920 --> 00:51:56,919
Speaker 2: And you're like, I just can't.

1158
00:51:57,000 --> 00:51:59,000
Speaker 1: She was like, Okay, well we got it. We're gonna

1159
00:51:59,000 --> 00:52:01,640
Speaker 1: find out how she reacted, so let's finish off this story.

1160
00:52:01,760 --> 00:52:04,719
Speaker 1: My mother was huffy, but she has no choice in

1161
00:52:04,760 --> 00:52:07,560
Speaker 1: the matter and understands this. In my state, all they

1162
00:52:07,600 --> 00:52:09,920
Speaker 1: need is a thirty day notice. I just gave them

1163
00:52:09,920 --> 00:52:12,319
Speaker 1: prior warning to that thirty day notice so they can

1164
00:52:12,360 --> 00:52:15,080
Speaker 1: get their money straight, which was more than the law required.

1165
00:52:15,239 --> 00:52:17,800
Speaker 1: But what I expect of myself as a decent human.

1166
00:52:17,960 --> 00:52:20,320
Speaker 1: As far as my mom knows I'm going to downsize

1167
00:52:20,360 --> 00:52:22,360
Speaker 1: to an apartment, I will be keeping her in the

1168
00:52:22,440 --> 00:52:24,640
Speaker 1: dark about what I'm actually doing while I look for

1169
00:52:24,680 --> 00:52:26,960
Speaker 1: a smaller house that would be a good fit for

1170
00:52:27,120 --> 00:52:30,440
Speaker 1: just me and my two pets. When and if I

1171
00:52:30,600 --> 00:52:33,120
Speaker 1: decide to buy instead of rent, no family will be

1172
00:52:33,160 --> 00:52:36,920
Speaker 1: moving in with me again, no friends staying. My partner

1173
00:52:36,960 --> 00:52:39,640
Speaker 1: can stay over, but until I have been with him

1174
00:52:39,680 --> 00:52:42,600
Speaker 1: several years and I know for sure, no man will

1175
00:52:42,600 --> 00:52:44,960
Speaker 1: be moving in. You get my drift. It is time

1176
00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:47,240
Speaker 1: to put me first. Thank you for the push Reddit.

1177
00:52:47,320 --> 00:52:49,640
Speaker 1: This is likely the only update I will give. Wish

1178
00:52:49,680 --> 00:52:53,439
Speaker 1: me luck going forward, and good luck Ope and doing

1179
00:52:53,520 --> 00:52:56,240
Speaker 1: the right thing. You ripped off that band aid aka

1180
00:52:56,320 --> 00:52:59,040
Speaker 1: at that house, Get rid of it, thrown in the trash.

1181
00:52:59,080 --> 00:53:01,600
Speaker 1: Can move on with your life and best of luck.

1182
00:53:01,920 --> 00:53:04,120
Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. We're going on

1183
00:53:04,120 --> 00:53:06,439
Speaker 1: to the next one. John here og host.

1184
00:53:06,520 --> 00:53:08,200
Speaker 3: We're gonna get back to these stories, but a quick

1185
00:53:08,239 --> 00:53:09,920
Speaker 3: three minute break from as for more sponsors.

1186
00:53:10,640 --> 00:53:14,400
Speaker 2: I refuse my father's custody because he treats me like

1187
00:53:14,400 --> 00:53:15,560
Speaker 2: a free babysitter.

1188
00:53:15,760 --> 00:53:17,600
Speaker 1: You're not a free babysitter. Get your money.

1189
00:53:17,800 --> 00:53:20,960
Speaker 2: I fifteen female, have been dealing with my parents forty

1190
00:53:20,960 --> 00:53:24,000
Speaker 2: two male and thirty eight female split custody since I

1191
00:53:24,200 --> 00:53:28,080
Speaker 2: was five, and I'm sick of it. Here's a little background.

1192
00:53:28,239 --> 00:53:30,959
Speaker 2: My parents divorced when I was five for reasons they've

1193
00:53:31,040 --> 00:53:34,000
Speaker 2: kept vague to me and my brother, nine male. From

1194
00:53:34,040 --> 00:53:37,720
Speaker 2: what I have understood, they never actually wanted to get married.

1195
00:53:37,880 --> 00:53:41,040
Speaker 2: They only got married after they found out they accidentally

1196
00:53:41,520 --> 00:53:44,440
Speaker 2: conceived me. My brother was a thought, but he was

1197
00:53:44,480 --> 00:53:47,879
Speaker 2: not planned either. They divorced before he was even one.

1198
00:53:48,239 --> 00:53:50,840
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from Dingykat twenty seven to

1199
00:53:50,880 --> 00:53:52,879
Speaker 2: seventy one, and if you want us to make your

1200
00:53:52,880 --> 00:53:55,840
Speaker 2: own stories, go to the r slash okay storytime subreddit.

1201
00:53:55,960 --> 00:53:59,920
Speaker 4: I'm Carly, I'm Keon, I'm Angie, and we're here to.

1202
00:53:59,840 --> 00:54:02,880
Speaker 2: Get good advice goofily, But we don't have all the answers.

1203
00:54:02,920 --> 00:54:04,560
Speaker 2: We only know what we would do, So let us

1204
00:54:04,600 --> 00:54:06,400
Speaker 2: know what you would do in the comments.

1205
00:54:06,120 --> 00:54:07,080
Speaker 4: And o pieces.

1206
00:54:07,640 --> 00:54:10,239
Speaker 2: My dad remarried when I was about seven or eight.

1207
00:54:10,520 --> 00:54:13,719
Speaker 2: My stepmother, forty female, is a lovely woman who has

1208
00:54:13,760 --> 00:54:18,440
Speaker 2: two boys, twelve male and fifteen male from her previous marriage.

1209
00:54:18,880 --> 00:54:21,520
Speaker 2: Their dad does not have custody rights, but that is

1210
00:54:21,640 --> 00:54:24,160
Speaker 2: not my part to talk about. When I was nine,

1211
00:54:24,320 --> 00:54:27,640
Speaker 2: they had my half brother, five male. The split custody

1212
00:54:27,719 --> 00:54:31,400
Speaker 2: has always bothered me. Before my dad remarried, there was

1213
00:54:31,520 --> 00:54:34,680
Speaker 2: not a set switching schedule. It was every two or

1214
00:54:34,719 --> 00:54:37,800
Speaker 2: three days, depending on what was going on. It stressed

1215
00:54:37,800 --> 00:54:41,080
Speaker 2: me out and caused me to lash out. I did

1216
00:54:41,120 --> 00:54:44,040
Speaker 2: not understand my emotions and got in a lot of trouble.

1217
00:54:44,400 --> 00:54:47,080
Speaker 2: I did not understand my emotions and got in a

1218
00:54:47,120 --> 00:54:50,200
Speaker 2: lot of trouble. My stepmother was the one who suggested

1219
00:54:50,239 --> 00:54:53,480
Speaker 2: switching every Friday. Even though it has gotten a lot better,

1220
00:54:53,640 --> 00:54:56,880
Speaker 2: I hate the predicament I'm in. My dad's house is rough,

1221
00:54:57,040 --> 00:55:00,040
Speaker 2: lots of yelling and a tense environment that does not.

1222
00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:03,000
Speaker 4: Can help at all with what I want to grow

1223
00:55:03,080 --> 00:55:03,600
Speaker 4: up around.

1224
00:55:03,840 --> 00:55:06,480
Speaker 2: I am always on edge and have no appetite. It

1225
00:55:06,560 --> 00:55:09,160
Speaker 2: honestly really messes me up when I'm over there. My

1226
00:55:09,280 --> 00:55:12,320
Speaker 2: mom is still single, but her house is much more comforting.

1227
00:55:12,480 --> 00:55:15,840
Speaker 2: I'm closer to family and my anxiety levels go way down.

1228
00:55:15,960 --> 00:55:19,160
Speaker 2: There is less yelling and we actually talk about our problems.

1229
00:55:19,239 --> 00:55:22,000
Speaker 2: I feel like I can be myself there. I always

1230
00:55:22,040 --> 00:55:24,200
Speaker 2: feel guilty about wanting to stay at my mom's and

1231
00:55:24,320 --> 00:55:27,600
Speaker 2: leave my brothers behind. I basically have to raise my

1232
00:55:27,719 --> 00:55:29,839
Speaker 2: half brother. With all the stuff they have going on,

1233
00:55:30,080 --> 00:55:34,000
Speaker 2: It's like we never stop over there. My stepmother is

1234
00:55:34,160 --> 00:55:37,560
Speaker 2: very extroverted and always has people over. She has never

1235
00:55:37,680 --> 00:55:39,920
Speaker 2: understood the fact that I prefer to hang out in

1236
00:55:39,960 --> 00:55:43,080
Speaker 2: my room while everyone is laughing outside. I like my

1237
00:55:43,160 --> 00:55:45,839
Speaker 2: recharge time after a long day at school. I am

1238
00:55:45,880 --> 00:55:48,839
Speaker 2: technically a freshman, but I am the current head of

1239
00:55:48,840 --> 00:55:52,920
Speaker 2: my class, taking mostly sophomore and junior classes.

1240
00:55:52,880 --> 00:55:56,319
Speaker 1: Smarty peace, lit, smarty pants, with some EIGHTP courses over

1241
00:55:56,320 --> 00:55:56,920
Speaker 1: here go you.

1242
00:55:57,440 --> 00:56:00,640
Speaker 2: My school just let you take the sophomore junior ones.

1243
00:56:01,200 --> 00:56:02,399
Speaker 2: You could just take grades up.

1244
00:56:02,680 --> 00:56:06,120
Speaker 1: Ours was like strictly EP and like you couldn't go

1245
00:56:06,400 --> 00:56:06,799
Speaker 1: oh no.

1246
00:56:06,920 --> 00:56:09,880
Speaker 2: They let you jump in freshman year already as a sophomore,

1247
00:56:09,920 --> 00:56:11,840
Speaker 2: and then you could keep taking a year up, actually

1248
00:56:12,760 --> 00:56:15,400
Speaker 2: take for all your classes. I didn't do the program,

1249
00:56:15,480 --> 00:56:16,040
Speaker 2: but you could.

1250
00:56:16,800 --> 00:56:19,200
Speaker 1: They only let freshman drop to sophomore classes. They wouldn't

1251
00:56:19,239 --> 00:56:21,040
Speaker 1: let you do junior I think.

1252
00:56:20,960 --> 00:56:22,799
Speaker 4: We only could do that, but it was for certain

1253
00:56:22,840 --> 00:56:25,200
Speaker 4: classes like math, and I'd probably won more, but I

1254
00:56:25,239 --> 00:56:25,720
Speaker 4: don't remember.

1255
00:56:25,880 --> 00:56:28,560
Speaker 2: I think you could jump at two grades up. Most

1256
00:56:28,880 --> 00:56:30,799
Speaker 2: we got yelled at if we do not work as

1257
00:56:30,880 --> 00:56:33,479
Speaker 2: soon as we get home around the house. I, being

1258
00:56:33,560 --> 00:56:34,400
Speaker 2: the only.

1259
00:56:34,160 --> 00:56:37,000
Speaker 4: Girl, usually take responsibility and do most.

1260
00:56:36,800 --> 00:56:40,560
Speaker 2: Of the chores. No, I'm sorry, Ope, I'm exhausted by

1261
00:56:40,600 --> 00:56:43,399
Speaker 2: the time I finally sit down to read and recharge.

1262
00:56:43,440 --> 00:56:45,960
Speaker 2: That is right around the time my dad and stepmother

1263
00:56:46,000 --> 00:56:48,759
Speaker 2: get home from work. She is always pissed that we're

1264
00:56:48,760 --> 00:56:51,960
Speaker 2: not working. Not to mention that I am always the babysitter.

1265
00:56:52,200 --> 00:56:54,960
Speaker 2: My half brother is not old enough to do anything

1266
00:56:55,000 --> 00:56:57,640
Speaker 2: by himself yet when I am stuck on mom duty,

1267
00:56:57,760 --> 00:56:59,920
Speaker 2: I have to cook for him, make sure he eats,

1268
00:57:00,239 --> 00:57:03,120
Speaker 2: bathe him, get him pajamas, and get him to bed

1269
00:57:03,160 --> 00:57:03,640
Speaker 2: on time.

1270
00:57:04,680 --> 00:57:05,959
Speaker 4: This is on top of.

1271
00:57:05,880 --> 00:57:08,720
Speaker 2: My daily chores, homework, and a day of school.

1272
00:57:08,880 --> 00:57:09,600
Speaker 4: I'm tired.

1273
00:57:09,920 --> 00:57:12,160
Speaker 2: Now that it has been said, I will explain why

1274
00:57:12,239 --> 00:57:15,200
Speaker 2: I am writing this. I am currently taking drivers At.

1275
00:57:15,480 --> 00:57:18,360
Speaker 2: It is the last weekend before the holiday break ends,

1276
00:57:18,440 --> 00:57:21,240
Speaker 2: and we do not have school tomorrow Monday because of

1277
00:57:21,280 --> 00:57:24,600
Speaker 2: a teacher's in service. It is technically my dad's weekend,

1278
00:57:24,720 --> 00:57:26,600
Speaker 2: but I stayed the night of my mom so she

1279
00:57:26,640 --> 00:57:29,160
Speaker 2: could drive me to drivers At. I was supposed to

1280
00:57:29,200 --> 00:57:31,120
Speaker 2: spend the night with her too. It has been a

1281
00:57:31,240 --> 00:57:34,080
Speaker 2: long day and tomorrow is my last day to enjoy

1282
00:57:34,080 --> 00:57:37,880
Speaker 2: the break before re entering the heck hole. That is

1283
00:57:38,000 --> 00:57:42,680
Speaker 2: ice cool. Yeah, we were going to watch The Emperor's

1284
00:57:42,760 --> 00:57:45,800
Speaker 2: New Groove and eat ice cream. My dad was supposed

1285
00:57:45,800 --> 00:57:48,480
Speaker 2: to pick me up tomorrow, but that is no longer

1286
00:57:48,520 --> 00:57:51,600
Speaker 2: the case. My dad just called telling my mom he

1287
00:57:51,720 --> 00:57:53,720
Speaker 2: was on his way to pick me up. We both

1288
00:57:53,760 --> 00:57:57,320
Speaker 2: almost started crying. It upsets me just writing about it.

1289
00:57:57,320 --> 00:57:57,920
Speaker 4: It is his.

1290
00:57:57,920 --> 00:58:00,720
Speaker 2: Week, so there's nothing we can really do. He's picking

1291
00:58:00,760 --> 00:58:03,960
Speaker 2: me up so I can watch my brother tomorrow while

1292
00:58:04,000 --> 00:58:07,120
Speaker 2: my dad and stepmother go to work. My older stepbrother

1293
00:58:07,200 --> 00:58:09,520
Speaker 2: was supposed to watch him. I'm not sure what came up,

1294
00:58:09,560 --> 00:58:11,640
Speaker 2: but it will probably be in the next update.

1295
00:58:11,800 --> 00:58:13,880
Speaker 4: My mom has continually.

1296
00:58:13,280 --> 00:58:16,280
Speaker 2: Talked about getting full custody of me and my full brother,

1297
00:58:16,480 --> 00:58:19,440
Speaker 2: but I have always said no, not wanting to abandon

1298
00:58:19,440 --> 00:58:22,360
Speaker 2: my other brothers. As I said earlier, I am really

1299
00:58:22,400 --> 00:58:25,360
Speaker 2: thinking about it now. I am stressed and tired and

1300
00:58:25,480 --> 00:58:28,720
Speaker 2: about to lose my last day of peace. I understand

1301
00:58:28,760 --> 00:58:31,280
Speaker 2: that I cannot blame my dad and stepmother much. It

1302
00:58:31,360 --> 00:58:33,680
Speaker 2: is not their fault they have to work. I just

1303
00:58:33,800 --> 00:58:36,760
Speaker 2: hate being the safety net. I want a break. I

1304
00:58:36,840 --> 00:58:39,520
Speaker 2: also get really bad panic attacks at my dad's, which

1305
00:58:39,520 --> 00:58:42,800
Speaker 2: are often dismissed or get me in more trouble. I've

1306
00:58:42,840 --> 00:58:45,360
Speaker 2: tried talking to my dad and stepmother and they have

1307
00:58:45,400 --> 00:58:48,360
Speaker 2: said it's just my anxiety talking that I'm fine.

1308
00:58:48,760 --> 00:58:50,560
Speaker 4: They joke that I'm a teen mom.

1309
00:58:51,000 --> 00:58:53,640
Speaker 1: That's where that I like, you're a teen mom, Haha,

1310
00:58:53,760 --> 00:58:55,720
Speaker 1: you push my button? That was the button I'm staying

1311
00:58:55,760 --> 00:58:58,520
Speaker 1: with Mom like, I get it. Ope, you are a

1312
00:58:58,560 --> 00:59:00,800
Speaker 1: fifteen year old. We're all trying to.

1313
00:59:00,760 --> 00:59:04,520
Speaker 2: Just survive, and she can't make the call. Ultimately, I

1314
00:59:03,560 --> 00:59:03,880
Speaker 2: did have.

1315
00:59:04,520 --> 00:59:06,520
Speaker 1: I would bring this up with your mom. How I

1316
00:59:06,600 --> 00:59:07,200
Speaker 1: feel like she has.

1317
00:59:07,320 --> 00:59:07,920
Speaker 4: I feel like she has.

1318
00:59:08,000 --> 00:59:09,120
Speaker 2: I feel like it's the dad.

1319
00:59:09,200 --> 00:59:11,800
Speaker 1: But it's like, at this point, Mom's trying to fight

1320
00:59:11,840 --> 00:59:14,880
Speaker 1: for custody, which makes sense, but the fact that they're

1321
00:59:15,040 --> 00:59:16,240
Speaker 1: like prancing around it.

1322
00:59:16,400 --> 00:59:19,360
Speaker 2: Oh okay, wait. They joke that I'm a team mom.

1323
00:59:19,560 --> 00:59:21,560
Speaker 2: My mom's side of the family does too, And.

1324
00:59:21,480 --> 00:59:23,280
Speaker 1: Then that's when I'm like, it's not a joke because

1325
00:59:23,320 --> 00:59:25,120
Speaker 1: I am technically a teen mom. I'm the one who's

1326
00:59:25,160 --> 00:59:27,320
Speaker 1: taking care of the fact that you're doing all those

1327
00:59:27,360 --> 00:59:29,560
Speaker 1: things and you have an older step brother.

1328
00:59:29,640 --> 00:59:32,720
Speaker 2: How about you guys parent your kids, cause I'm I

1329
00:59:32,720 --> 00:59:33,520
Speaker 2: didn't have them.

1330
00:59:33,760 --> 00:59:36,960
Speaker 1: I would be like, okay, stop guilting me into doing this.

1331
00:59:37,240 --> 00:59:39,920
Speaker 1: I think this is ridiculous. But at this point, I

1332
00:59:40,000 --> 00:59:42,120
Speaker 1: know you're trying to, you know, be there for your

1333
00:59:42,160 --> 00:59:46,480
Speaker 1: younger brothers or younger brother but this is like the

1334
00:59:46,520 --> 00:59:48,800
Speaker 1: thing of like, this is at the cost of your expense.

1335
00:59:49,160 --> 00:59:52,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel guilty for thinking about it. I know

1336
00:59:52,600 --> 00:59:54,800
Speaker 2: you were not supposed to ask for advice, but what

1337
00:59:54,840 --> 00:59:57,360
Speaker 2: would you do if you were in my shoes? My

1338
00:59:57,480 --> 01:00:00,600
Speaker 2: dad is pulling up. I will probably update soon, and

1339
01:00:00,640 --> 01:00:02,760
Speaker 2: we have that update straight into it.

1340
01:00:02,880 --> 01:00:03,280
Speaker 4: Let's go.

1341
01:00:03,640 --> 01:00:06,800
Speaker 2: Thank you for all the support already not to immediately

1342
01:00:06,880 --> 01:00:09,480
Speaker 2: jump to my dad in stepmother's defenses, but it is

1343
01:00:09,600 --> 01:00:12,800
Speaker 2: not complete mistreatment. That is probably why I feel so bad.

1344
01:00:12,920 --> 01:00:15,880
Speaker 2: They love me and support the majority of my decisions.

1345
01:00:16,120 --> 01:00:20,000
Speaker 2: I did look up parentification and it feels kind of accurate.

1346
01:00:20,160 --> 01:00:23,200
Speaker 2: I also realized I accidentally posted this twice under two

1347
01:00:23,240 --> 01:00:25,240
Speaker 2: different names. If you see the post Da da da da.

1348
01:00:25,320 --> 01:00:28,080
Speaker 2: Sorry Update two just got back to my dad's and

1349
01:00:28,160 --> 01:00:30,800
Speaker 2: now my feelings are kind of hurt. It feels kind

1350
01:00:30,800 --> 01:00:34,280
Speaker 2: of stupid. Honestly, my stepmother's best friend, who is considered

1351
01:00:34,320 --> 01:00:37,240
Speaker 2: our aunt, is having apartment issues due to the storm

1352
01:00:37,240 --> 01:00:40,120
Speaker 2: in our town. Her roof is leaking, so they decided

1353
01:00:40,160 --> 01:00:41,400
Speaker 2: she can stay with us.

1354
01:00:41,400 --> 01:00:43,400
Speaker 1: Oh good, now you have a replacement.

1355
01:00:43,000 --> 01:00:44,360
Speaker 2: Right, So why did I have to come back and

1356
01:00:44,400 --> 01:00:45,840
Speaker 2: miss my movie day with mom?

1357
01:00:46,000 --> 01:00:48,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, you should have a replacement, right.

1358
01:00:48,600 --> 01:00:51,280
Speaker 2: I only just found this out as I got here.

1359
01:00:51,560 --> 01:00:54,040
Speaker 2: We do not have a spare room, but we have

1360
01:00:54,120 --> 01:00:56,600
Speaker 2: a set of bunk beds in the upstairs loft where

1361
01:00:56,600 --> 01:00:59,280
Speaker 2: my brother's rooms are. My aunt will be taking my

1362
01:00:59,400 --> 01:01:03,320
Speaker 2: bed and I have to sleep upstairs. I'm not really mad,

1363
01:01:03,520 --> 01:01:05,880
Speaker 2: just a little hurt. I was not told. She is

1364
01:01:06,000 --> 01:01:08,160
Speaker 2: not a small lady, not in a bad way. She

1365
01:01:08,240 --> 01:01:11,880
Speaker 2: is diabetics, so I completely understand the thought process behind

1366
01:01:11,920 --> 01:01:14,600
Speaker 2: her getting my downstairs queen bed. I just do not

1367
01:01:14,840 --> 01:01:18,200
Speaker 2: like sleeping anywhere other than my bed, especially after a switch.

1368
01:01:18,320 --> 01:01:21,080
Speaker 1: Why are they always it's like, all right, we have

1369
01:01:21,200 --> 01:01:24,240
Speaker 1: we have other beds. You know, there's an older stepbrother,

1370
01:01:24,360 --> 01:01:24,920
Speaker 1: and now this is.

1371
01:01:24,840 --> 01:01:27,080
Speaker 2: A fifteen year old girl sharing a room with a

1372
01:01:27,160 --> 01:01:29,360
Speaker 2: nine year old boy and a younger boy.

1373
01:01:29,720 --> 01:01:32,600
Speaker 1: Why does the step brother it seems like there's nothing

1374
01:01:32,640 --> 01:01:35,200
Speaker 1: about him in the story maybe he's just cho doesn't

1375
01:01:35,200 --> 01:01:37,400
Speaker 1: sound like it because he ain't doing a dang thing.

1376
01:01:37,560 --> 01:01:39,280
Speaker 3: He's like six or seven.

1377
01:01:39,520 --> 01:01:41,400
Speaker 1: There's an older stepbrother.

1378
01:01:41,720 --> 01:01:44,600
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, year old, aren't you doing it? We didn't

1379
01:01:44,600 --> 01:01:46,600
Speaker 2: get the update on where he was. He was supposed

1380
01:01:46,640 --> 01:01:47,200
Speaker 2: to watch them.

1381
01:01:47,280 --> 01:01:48,720
Speaker 1: If he's like in college, it's one thing. But if

1382
01:01:48,760 --> 01:01:50,760
Speaker 1: he's a home or like in high school.

1383
01:01:50,440 --> 01:01:53,240
Speaker 2: He's probably doing the same thing when she's at the.

1384
01:01:53,160 --> 01:01:54,600
Speaker 1: Mom's I would like to know.

1385
01:01:54,760 --> 01:01:55,960
Speaker 4: Okay. Update three.

1386
01:01:56,400 --> 01:01:59,200
Speaker 2: We are technically in family therapy, but I have never

1387
01:01:59,280 --> 01:02:02,720
Speaker 2: been invited to a family session. It's mostly for my

1388
01:02:02,920 --> 01:02:06,280
Speaker 2: dad an older step brother. They cause most of the

1389
01:02:06,360 --> 01:02:08,800
Speaker 2: tension in the house. They said they wanted to get

1390
01:02:08,840 --> 01:02:11,680
Speaker 2: me my own therapist, but nothing's been done about it

1391
01:02:11,720 --> 01:02:14,640
Speaker 2: in months. I do chores at both houses, but people

1392
01:02:14,680 --> 01:02:17,320
Speaker 2: who come over have said that the housework my dad

1393
01:02:17,400 --> 01:02:21,000
Speaker 2: relies on us for is excessive. I'm not upset anymore.

1394
01:02:21,120 --> 01:02:23,960
Speaker 2: It's not anyone's fault. My aunt has to stay. I

1395
01:02:24,000 --> 01:02:26,080
Speaker 2: think I just wanted to vent and get some stuff

1396
01:02:26,160 --> 01:02:29,120
Speaker 2: off my chest. Still open for more advice. These comments

1397
01:02:29,160 --> 01:02:31,360
Speaker 2: make me feel better and are helping me build the

1398
01:02:31,400 --> 01:02:33,960
Speaker 2: courch to talk about it. Update four, We'll just get

1399
01:02:34,040 --> 01:02:36,600
Speaker 2: right into all these Yeah, I'm starting to feel like

1400
01:02:36,640 --> 01:02:39,600
Speaker 2: I overreacted. I am going to add some more context

1401
01:02:39,600 --> 01:02:42,080
Speaker 2: to me watching my brother. It really is a hassle.

1402
01:02:42,400 --> 01:02:46,320
Speaker 2: He is very adhd and is just insane. As I

1403
01:02:46,360 --> 01:02:49,400
Speaker 2: said before, I have basically been raising him since birth

1404
01:02:49,480 --> 01:02:52,360
Speaker 2: and not doing a great job. So he is really

1405
01:02:52,440 --> 01:02:55,240
Speaker 2: bossy and throws tantrums. He is used to getting what

1406
01:02:55,320 --> 01:02:58,280
Speaker 2: he wants and does not get disciplined. He is babied,

1407
01:02:58,360 --> 01:03:00,440
Speaker 2: and because I am not his parent, I am not

1408
01:03:00,560 --> 01:03:02,080
Speaker 2: allowed to discipline my way.

1409
01:03:02,200 --> 01:03:05,440
Speaker 1: You shouldn't have a way. You're a fifteen year old girl.

1410
01:03:05,600 --> 01:03:06,840
Speaker 4: You shouldn't be parenting.

1411
01:03:07,560 --> 01:03:09,840
Speaker 2: I have gotten in a lot of trouble for fussing

1412
01:03:09,840 --> 01:03:11,440
Speaker 2: at him, and we have Update five.

1413
01:03:11,520 --> 01:03:12,240
Speaker 4: The next morning.

1414
01:03:12,440 --> 01:03:15,360
Speaker 2: Oh gosh, I slept on the couch.

1415
01:03:15,720 --> 01:03:17,000
Speaker 4: Oh my god. She didn't even get to.

1416
01:03:16,920 --> 01:03:21,040
Speaker 2: Sleep in the bunk beds like garbage. And I'm really tired.

1417
01:03:21,360 --> 01:03:24,320
Speaker 2: My stepmother woke me up around six saying I could

1418
01:03:24,360 --> 01:03:26,480
Speaker 2: sleep in their bed with my half brother until I

1419
01:03:26,520 --> 01:03:28,680
Speaker 2: need to wake up and help. Woke up again around

1420
01:03:28,720 --> 01:03:31,560
Speaker 2: eleven to people jumping on me and cursing me out.

1421
01:03:31,880 --> 01:03:34,920
Speaker 2: Love my brothers, I did yours and now I'm hiding

1422
01:03:34,920 --> 01:03:37,400
Speaker 2: in my room again until my dad picks all my

1423
01:03:37,440 --> 01:03:40,200
Speaker 2: brothers up except for my half brother. I think I'm

1424
01:03:40,240 --> 01:03:42,280
Speaker 2: going to try to talk to my mom, but I

1425
01:03:42,400 --> 01:03:44,360
Speaker 2: still do not know advice.

1426
01:03:44,560 --> 01:03:47,080
Speaker 4: Please, what advice do you have for repeat.

1427
01:03:46,800 --> 01:03:48,480
Speaker 1: Doct your mom. You're not gonna get in trouble for

1428
01:03:48,520 --> 01:03:51,080
Speaker 1: talking to your mom and letting her know about this. Yeah,

1429
01:03:51,200 --> 01:03:52,800
Speaker 1: is your dad could be upset at you? How could

1430
01:03:52,800 --> 01:03:55,040
Speaker 1: he be upset? This is just the truth right what.

1431
01:03:55,880 --> 01:03:56,720
Speaker 2: I can't keep doing this.

1432
01:03:57,040 --> 01:03:59,360
Speaker 1: I can't keep doing it anything. I can't keep being

1433
01:03:59,480 --> 01:04:00,360
Speaker 1: treated like this.

1434
01:04:00,440 --> 01:04:02,920
Speaker 4: Maarring your kids.

1435
01:04:02,040 --> 01:04:06,920
Speaker 1: Like this is ridiculous to an extreme level because you've

1436
01:04:06,920 --> 01:04:09,520
Speaker 1: been doing this for so long. I feel like, one,

1437
01:04:09,600 --> 01:04:11,440
Speaker 1: you definitely need a therapy. You definitely need to bring

1438
01:04:11,480 --> 01:04:13,320
Speaker 1: that up to your mom. But I was told I

1439
01:04:13,320 --> 01:04:15,959
Speaker 1: was gonna get therapy, haven't gone it. I really want

1440
01:04:16,000 --> 01:04:19,480
Speaker 1: therapy at least for myself if anything. Yeah, because I

1441
01:04:19,520 --> 01:04:22,680
Speaker 1: have anxiety to the roof at dad's place and I

1442
01:04:22,720 --> 01:04:26,120
Speaker 1: wonder why, what's all those things going on? So I

1443
01:04:26,120 --> 01:04:28,160
Speaker 1: would definitely talk to your mom because it seems like

1444
01:04:28,160 --> 01:04:30,400
Speaker 1: you you talked to your stepmother or your father one

1445
01:04:30,440 --> 01:04:30,959
Speaker 1: ear out.

1446
01:04:30,920 --> 01:04:34,680
Speaker 2: The other agreed and update six is about what are

1447
01:04:34,960 --> 01:04:38,840
Speaker 2: the custody laws for teenagers wanting a certain parent in Louisiana.

1448
01:04:39,040 --> 01:04:41,480
Speaker 2: So I guess they're in Louisiana. And this is posted

1449
01:04:41,560 --> 01:04:44,960
Speaker 2: on our slash Legal Advice. This is kind of a

1450
01:04:44,960 --> 01:04:47,920
Speaker 2: continuation of the post. I was trying to keep really

1451
01:04:47,960 --> 01:04:50,880
Speaker 2: personal stuff names and locations out of it, but I've

1452
01:04:50,920 --> 01:04:53,400
Speaker 2: come to the conclusion that telling my state will help

1453
01:04:53,480 --> 01:04:57,280
Speaker 2: me gain information. I've done previous research on the legalities

1454
01:04:57,320 --> 01:05:00,680
Speaker 2: of Louisiana custody, but I haven't found a clear answer.

1455
01:05:00,920 --> 01:05:03,960
Speaker 2: I fifteen female want to live with my mom full time,

1456
01:05:04,200 --> 01:05:07,040
Speaker 2: explained to my previous post, but they don't have a

1457
01:05:07,120 --> 01:05:11,800
Speaker 2: real custody arrangement. There really aren't any custody documentations as

1458
01:05:11,840 --> 01:05:14,160
Speaker 2: far as I know. I'm not sure what that means

1459
01:05:14,280 --> 01:05:16,160
Speaker 2: or if I can even plead my case. And that

1460
01:05:16,280 --> 01:05:17,440
Speaker 2: is the end of that story.