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Speaker 1: He says, always been upfront with his wife. He doesn't

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Speaker 1: buy into this bro code thing suggests that man should

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Speaker 1: keep secrets from each other. So one day, his longtime

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Speaker 1: friend of twenty five years approached him with a private

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Speaker 1: confession in mind. But the man immediately made his stance clear.

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Speaker 1: If it shared with him, it's also shared with his wife.

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Speaker 1: That honestly didn't sit well with his friend or their

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Speaker 1: mutual circle. The friend felt betrayed, rallied others, and now

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Speaker 1: most of their shared friends are siding against the guy.

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Speaker 1: Now it doesn't it doesn't say here what the secret was.

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Speaker 1: And again this is someone who paraphrased that the Reddit

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Speaker 1: post or if he told him that ahead of time

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Speaker 1: or after the fact, like, hey, thanks for telling me

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Speaker 1: that you're cheating on your wife. I'm going to tell

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Speaker 1: my wife just so you know, I'd like to believe that.

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Speaker 1: If that's your deal, then it's like, hey, man, I

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Speaker 1: got to tell you something that you'd be like, hey,

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Speaker 1: just so you know, like my wife is considered part

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Speaker 1: of me now, and so if you tell me, I'm

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Speaker 1: going to tell her, So just be aware of that before.

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Speaker 1: Let's just assume that's what it was that he did

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Speaker 1: give his friend the heads up? Is that fair? And

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Speaker 1: in your relationship? Is that what you assume? I want

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Speaker 1: to know from you guys? Of course you can call

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Speaker 1: it text eight five five five one three five. If

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Speaker 1: I tell you guys something, and we're friends, and I

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Speaker 1: know all of your partners but except for Big Tim,

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Speaker 1: I've never met the gay but I know all of

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Speaker 1: your partners. So if I tell you guys something, should

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Speaker 1: I just assume that it's going to your partner? Is

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Speaker 1: that fair to assume? Or do I have to tell you?

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Speaker 1: I don't want you to tell that person? Like are

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Speaker 1: my friends telling their wives everything I tell them?

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Speaker 2: It depends on what you tell me.

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Speaker 3: If it's like something health related or something you're going

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Speaker 3: through like mental health, physical health. And I'm not repeating

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Speaker 3: that that's not for me to share, Okay, But.

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Speaker 1: If I'm cheating on someone, You're gonna run home and

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Speaker 1: tel Shane.

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Speaker 2: That's hot tea. Yes, yeah, I mean probably yeah.

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Speaker 3: I mean because you're messing up already, So why do

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Speaker 3: I have to keep that secret?

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Speaker 4: Right?

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Speaker 2: I probably don't want you to cheat.

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Speaker 1: See, But this comes back to like for me, when

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Speaker 1: you get in a fight with your partner and then

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Speaker 1: you go tell your friend. You know, most people are

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Speaker 1: telling their side of the story. Most people are not

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Speaker 1: telling an objective perspective. Most people want their friend to

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Speaker 1: side with them. Most of your friends will side with you.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes maybe if you tell them the actual story, they

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Speaker 1: might point out something that you could have done differently.

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Speaker 2: But then the problem is you you.

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Speaker 1: Know, an hour or two or a day or a

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Speaker 1: week later, you make up with that person or it's over,

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Speaker 1: and then your friend holds onto the memory of the

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Speaker 1: last story you told them, and that could potentially affect

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Speaker 1: the way they look at your partner. And so I

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Speaker 1: feel the same way about you know, like I've had

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Speaker 1: a friend who's going through kind of a tough thing

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Speaker 1: and he's a family friend, and we know all parties involved,

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Speaker 1: and so I'm not sharing with like my mom and

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Speaker 1: dad the full extent of what I know, because what

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Speaker 1: happens if everything is resolved, and then it's like they

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Speaker 1: don't they're not getting constant updates, they're not fully immersed

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Speaker 1: in this situation. And then let's just say, are they

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Speaker 1: just supposed to forget because they they probably fit one

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Speaker 1: side more than the other. And if they're only getting

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Speaker 1: information from one side, and this is a family friend

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Speaker 1: who's gonna come around and blah blah blah. Then you

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Speaker 1: know it's unfair because to the other person, because they're

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Speaker 1: only getting one side of the story. So like, I

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Speaker 1: don't want my family to think differently about anybody because

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Speaker 1: they are only getting some information, right, So I don't

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Speaker 1: really share anywhere near as much as I know because

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Speaker 1: I don't want this person to be in that situation.

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Speaker 1: And I feel like that's what happens when you share

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Speaker 1: a story secondhand with someone else in your life, you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean. It's like what you're saying, you're

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Speaker 1: giving them the information and then you're trusting them to

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Speaker 1: forget and move on. But they may hold on to

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Speaker 1: that and then they have bad feelings about someone forever.

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Speaker 1: Like let's say, okay, let's say my I'm in a relationship,

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Speaker 1: which that in itself would be hysterical to me, right,

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Speaker 1: that would be why, and and Jason's cheating on Mike,

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Speaker 1: which would never happen, And I tell her that, and

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Speaker 1: then and then but there's more of the story, or

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Speaker 1: there's a whole lot more context, or I've known you

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Speaker 1: for fifteen years, so I know that the relationship can

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Speaker 1: be up and down or what. I'm just making all

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Speaker 1: this up and then you guys resolve it. But my

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Speaker 1: friend over here doesn't have my girlfriend hypothetical, doesn't have

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Speaker 1: all that context, doesn't know the ins and outs, doesn't

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Speaker 1: see you every day, so all she knows is you

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Speaker 1: cheated and now you're back in a relationship again. Like

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Speaker 1: that might affect the way she thinks about you. And

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Speaker 1: that's not fair to you. No, no, it's not. And

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Speaker 1: that's why I'm very selective of what I tell Mike,

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Speaker 1: because I can't hold a grudge, like to save my life,

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Speaker 1: like anyone can do whatever to me, I get mad,

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Speaker 1: I get over it whatever, I get.

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Speaker 2: Mad at you for that. Like Jason hold a grudge.

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Speaker 2: He is the complete opposite.

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Speaker 5: Like if I tell him anything negative or someone did

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Speaker 5: something especially to me or to someone that he cares about,

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Speaker 5: he will hold on to that and remember that for forever.

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Speaker 5: And so I'm like, okay, like we're going I have

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Speaker 5: to be very selective.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna share Hey Sam, good morning.

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Speaker 2: Hi Sam. So you tell your husband everything no matter what? Yes,

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Speaker 2: is that fair? You know?

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Speaker 4: To me?

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Speaker 6: Like my partner is my through thick and thin, and

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Speaker 6: I tell him everything, and even if he doesn't agree

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Speaker 6: with me, like that's why he's there, so we can

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Speaker 6: kind of be soundboards off of each other, and so

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Speaker 6: you know, it kind of keeps me balanced. But at

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Speaker 6: the same time, like I like sometimes I want advice

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Speaker 6: or sometimes I you know, we just want to talk

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Speaker 6: about stuff. So it's one hundred percent like I trust him,

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Speaker 6: he trusts me. And if we say don't tell anybody

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Speaker 6: else and we don't, and then that's it.

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Speaker 1: I get that, like when you're in a relationship that

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Speaker 1: you're kind of supposed to be one unit, and so

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Speaker 1: you should be able to bounce anything off of that person.

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Speaker 1: I guess, Emily detected, you're losing me. I guess all

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Speaker 1: I'm saying is if there's one person and one person

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Speaker 1: and you're sharing this information with other people and they're

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Speaker 1: not seeing all perspectives that I don't think it's fair

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Speaker 1: for you to be sharing information because they're only going

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Speaker 1: to sort of side with the side that you're telling them,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like, unless I have all

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Speaker 1: the information that I don't think I should be sharing

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Speaker 1: because I don't want you to hold onto long term,

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Speaker 1: you know, things, because I only told you a little bit.

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Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 4: Absolutely, Yeah, tainting that.

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Speaker 1: You're tainting that you're peeing in the water. You're peeing

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Speaker 1: in the pool.

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Speaker 6: Everybody peas in the pool, Fred, Come on, whether you

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Speaker 6: say it or not, everybody peas.

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Speaker 4: In the pool.

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Speaker 2: All right, Well, he's gonna take.

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Speaker 6: You three sides to the story.

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Speaker 2: A large body of water maybe, but not a pool.

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Speaker 2: Thank you, Sam, Have a good day, have a good one.

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Speaker 6: Love you guys.

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Speaker 1: And I'm thoughtful enough to go downstream when I do

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Speaker 1: it too, for the record, Yeah, very thoughtful.

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Speaker 2: M Kelsey, Hi, Kelsey.

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Speaker 4: Hi, Hi, Hi? How are you?

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Speaker 2: Hey? So what do you think this?

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Speaker 1: Do you think that you should tell your partner absolutely

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Speaker 1: everything that you learn about other people?

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Speaker 7: I'm not sure whether you should or not. I mean,

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Speaker 7: I think that's something personal.

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Speaker 2: The only real thing.

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Speaker 4: That I had to say.

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Speaker 7: Feel like, if you hear something about someone and it's

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Speaker 7: not something that someone told you directly, then that can

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Speaker 7: cause major issues. I think that anything that you hear

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Speaker 7: that you want to share with just about anybody, you

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Speaker 7: should probably validate before you start sharing it, because a

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Speaker 7: lot of people get into arguments with people or something

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Speaker 7: like that. And then they start making up stuff and

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Speaker 7: then once your partner hears that, it's like, oh what, Yeah,

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Speaker 7: you know, I just think it's really especially as far

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Speaker 7: as cheating and stuff goes, they think that it's really

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Speaker 7: important to you know, verify the information before you start

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Speaker 7: telling anyone.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I also think you have to keep your your circle

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Speaker 1: really small when it comes to relationship arguments and stuff,

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Speaker 1: because again, like you're you're likely to be telling your

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Speaker 1: side of the story, and the person's likely to react

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Speaker 1: in favor of the story you just told them, not

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Speaker 1: only because they love you, they're going to try and

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Speaker 1: see the good in you, but they're going to listen

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Speaker 1: to the story you just told that probably is devoid

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Speaker 1: of all the details about it. And so then you're

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Speaker 1: getting that now you're being enabled by this advice. But

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Speaker 1: then the real story is maybe somewhere more towards the middle.

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Speaker 1: So then you then you find resolution, you get back

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Speaker 1: with that person, and now your friend is over here

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Speaker 1: going I can't believe you took that jack a back,

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Speaker 1: but they didn't know.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, I can fully agree. I've always said that there's

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Speaker 7: your story, and then there's the other person's story, and

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Speaker 7: then somewhere in between is the truth. And I don't

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Speaker 7: think that you ever, because emotions are involved in regardless

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Speaker 7: of what you're telling someone basically all the time. So

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Speaker 7: there's always and you know what, I don't hang out

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Speaker 7: at somebody else's house. You know, I don't know their relationship,

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Speaker 7: and as I shouldn't, so, especially like you're saying, with

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Speaker 7: relationships as things like that, it's really important to understand

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Speaker 7: that exactly what you said, there are there's actely three.

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Speaker 2: Sides of the story.

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Speaker 7: There's one person's side, the other person's side, and then

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Speaker 7: there's the truth. And sometimes, you know, I think most

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Speaker 7: of the time you don't need to know the truth.

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Speaker 7: I don't need to be that intimate with people in

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Speaker 7: their personal relationships because I'm kind of in the situation

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Speaker 7: with my daughter because her, her and get along. I

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Speaker 7: get along with both of them, obviously obviously her, but

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Speaker 7: you know, the thinking about it is is I don't

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Speaker 7: really think that maybe their relationship is super.

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Speaker 2: Great for her.

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Speaker 7: However, you know, I'm not in their house after dark, hercus.

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Speaker 2: That's the problem.

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Speaker 1: Right, So like your daughter comes and tells you, hey,

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Speaker 1: you know so and so did this to me, and

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Speaker 1: You're like, well that sucks. And then they go get

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Speaker 1: married and you're like, wait a minute, but I thought

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Speaker 1: he did this to you, you know, but again like

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Speaker 1: how did that start?

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Speaker 2: What are the details? What I need to know? All

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Speaker 2: the infra?

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Speaker 1: And you you hold onto this as her mother, right,

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Speaker 1: even though you should be a trusted source. But but

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Speaker 1: now you have to hang on to that as they

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Speaker 1: move forward and they get over it and you may not.

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Speaker 2: Hey, Kelsey, I got to go. Have a good day.

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Speaker 7: Okay, have a good day.

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Speaker 1: I'm glad you called. Hey, Rachel. Right, you tell your

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Speaker 1: husband everything, no matter what.

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Speaker 4: Always he tells me everything. I tell him everything most

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Speaker 4: of the time. It's like they said before to get

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Speaker 4: you know, an opinion of Hey am I handling this writer? Hey?

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Speaker 4: What do you think about this? I had a friend

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Speaker 4: tell him that the best thing he did for his

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Speaker 4: marriage was too cheat on his wife.

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Speaker 1: Wow?

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Speaker 4: So of course he of course he told me that,

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Speaker 4: and you know, did they be friends after that? Yeah?

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Speaker 4: But was there you know, certain things we might not

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Speaker 4: do with him or stuff like that. Yes?

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Speaker 2: And that's what I mean.

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Speaker 1: So Okay, So your husband's friend cheats on his wife, right,

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Speaker 1: and tells you this you're like, wow, okay, why don't

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Speaker 1: I like cheating? And that makes me think differently in him?

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Speaker 1: But okay, fine, whatever he did it. And then your

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Speaker 1: husband's like, hey, I'm gonna go out with so and

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Speaker 1: so tonight. Is there no part of you that's like,

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Speaker 1: I realize you trust your husband, but like this guy,

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Speaker 1: this guy, this dude has you know, loose definition of

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Speaker 1: what a marriage is.

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Speaker 2: And I don't know.

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Speaker 1: And while my husband is trustworthy and a good person,

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Speaker 1: like I don't know, I don't necessarily want to hang

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Speaker 1: it out with that person. That being said, if you

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Speaker 1: trust your husband and you know that he wouldn't cheat

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Speaker 1: on you, and he never gives you this information, then

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Speaker 1: you have no reason to suspect anything. So everyone's fine.

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Speaker 4: So the way my husband is though he also, you know,

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Speaker 4: didn't appreciate the comment. So if we hung out, it

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Speaker 4: was mostly as like couples instead of just one on one.

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Speaker 4: It was okay, let's so they you know, they stay together.

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Speaker 4: So let's go you and me and we'll go to dinner.

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Speaker 2: That's so comfortable. Now dinner.

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Speaker 1: Now you're sitting there eating your soup and you know

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Speaker 1: all the details that you didn't need to know because

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Speaker 1: they've moved forward. And if he hadn't told you, then

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Speaker 1: you wouldn't have to suffer through that meal knowing that

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Speaker 1: this dude was out here with Floozy, you know. And

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Speaker 1: that's I don't know, Rachel. I'm not sure about this.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, have a good day.

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Speaker 4: Thank you.

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Speaker 2: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I don't know that you need to know everything you

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Speaker 1: tell big tim everything.

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Speaker 8: A big tim a listening to me. That's what I'm

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Speaker 8: gonna talk to you all. But I think that people

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Speaker 8: tell you tell your friends something. They're telling two people

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Speaker 8: that they trust. So when I tell you something, I

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Speaker 8: expect you to tell Mama Fred and get therapists, you

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Speaker 8: know what.

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Speaker 2: I I just know what's going to them too.

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Speaker 1: You know, you think I'm over here an executive coach

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Speaker 1: and talking about you. Yes, I go to my executive

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Speaker 1: coach each week. You think I'm talking about you.

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Speaker 8: Jason's gonna tell Kaitlin and probably know you know what

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Speaker 8: I like. So that's happen.

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Speaker 1: We can say kind of equal it depends well maybe

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's probably fair to assume, but yeah.

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Speaker 5: There's always a kiky segment in his executive coaching season.

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Speaker 2: We sit down an executive coaching.

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Speaker 4: She did.

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Speaker 2: We sit down in the first like, what what did

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Speaker 2: she do? What did she tell you? The first fifteen

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Speaker 2: minutes we have to dissect what do you do? More

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Speaker 2: Bread Show Next,