WEBVTT - You've Been Professionally Ghosted 0:00:04.800 --> 0:00:08.440 It's time for the b a q e A to 0:00:08.560 --> 0:00:09.879 b a q W. 0:00:10.600 --> 0:00:15.560 It'd be a que'd be a cute to be a 0:00:15.920 --> 0:00:19.920 q I don't know if I came in on time. 0:00:21.079 --> 0:00:22.480 Oh damn, I was too early. 0:00:23.239 --> 0:00:24.959 That's okay, Hey, Mandra, how are you? 0:00:25.400 --> 0:00:29.080 I'm too it okay. My blowout is fighting for its life. 0:00:30.080 --> 0:00:31.400 Your hair is getting sid lot. 0:00:31.240 --> 0:00:35.640 The humidity is humiditying. I'm excited for b a q A. 0:00:35.800 --> 0:00:36.880 It's career day. 0:00:37.200 --> 0:00:39.600 It is career Oh we got called that is it? 0:00:39.640 --> 0:00:43.680 Is it career day? Yes, so get your your business 0:00:43.720 --> 0:00:47.920 casual and your card stock for your resume printouts and 0:00:48.040 --> 0:00:50.360 come on down. 0:00:51.040 --> 0:00:53.480 So I'll basically be reading the questions. So I'm like, yes, 0:00:53.720 --> 0:00:58.040 not in black yass queen, answer these questions. All right? 0:00:58.040 --> 0:00:59.000 You ready for the first one. 0:00:59.360 --> 0:01:01.680 I'm excited. Yeah, let's go all right. 0:01:01.560 --> 0:01:08.240 This one we're gonna call her man man. 0:01:08.319 --> 0:01:10.520 I want more because I don't know you didn't even 0:01:10.640 --> 0:01:12.320 us a name, so I want. 0:01:12.120 --> 0:01:13.520 More, says Mandy Tiffany. 0:01:13.760 --> 0:01:14.080 Help. 0:01:15.040 --> 0:01:16.520 Literally, she has like a lot of peace. 0:01:16.760 --> 0:01:19.399 First off, I love the podcast and started all the 0:01:19.400 --> 0:01:22.320 way at the beginning, but I'm only in twenty twenty 0:01:22.319 --> 0:01:26.920 two now and I'm OCD about going in order. Okay, 0:01:27.080 --> 0:01:28.920 I love that for you. Oh well, she might even 0:01:28.920 --> 0:01:30.400 hear this job by the time you get here. It's 0:01:30.400 --> 0:01:31.679 gonna be a year anyway. 0:01:32.080 --> 0:01:34.640 Two years, she's in twenty twenty two. 0:01:35.400 --> 0:01:37.000 That's funny. Anyway. 0:01:37.440 --> 0:01:41.440 I currently work at a tech company who just announced layoffs, 0:01:41.480 --> 0:01:43.760 like so many of them have. In the midst of this, 0:01:43.800 --> 0:01:46.679 I've been offered a new position within the same company, 0:01:46.880 --> 0:01:48.960 but the base is a little lower than I was 0:01:49.000 --> 0:01:53.360 hoping for. It's eighteen K and a bonus that's two 0:01:53.440 --> 0:01:56.680 percent more than what I'm currently making. As well as 0:01:56.720 --> 0:02:02.000 being a vertical move, so thousands what they're offering her, it's. 0:02:01.840 --> 0:02:04.040 Gonna be she she like, probably missed a word. It's 0:02:04.080 --> 0:02:05.040 eighteen k more. 0:02:05.320 --> 0:02:07.360 Okay, that's my assuming, and that's. 0:02:07.280 --> 0:02:10.040 Two percent more than what I'm currently making especials being 0:02:10.120 --> 0:02:12.280 a vertical move Okay, vertical is good. 0:02:12.600 --> 0:02:12.960 Okay. 0:02:13.480 --> 0:02:16.000 I was more than ready to negotiate my salary with 0:02:16.080 --> 0:02:18.919 Mandy scripts in my back pocket. Yes, Mandy has those 0:02:18.919 --> 0:02:22.480 awesome scripts for negotiating. But now with huge with a 0:02:22.520 --> 0:02:24.840 huge amount of layoffs, I'm wondering if I should just 0:02:24.880 --> 0:02:28.000 be happy with what they're offering or still ask for more. 0:02:28.280 --> 0:02:31.079 For reference, I'm thinking about asking for twenty k more. Yeah, 0:02:31.080 --> 0:02:34.519 it is more than what they're offering. Oh, she's thinking 0:02:34.520 --> 0:02:38.160 about asking for twenty k more. M Hey, ba fan, 0:02:38.240 --> 0:02:41.240 We're gonna take a quick break and we'll be right back. 0:02:45.800 --> 0:02:48.040 Okay, we went to offer ooh child, that's a big 0:02:48.160 --> 0:02:50.560 jumb I'll be but I don't know what what say you, 0:02:50.760 --> 0:02:52.000 Mandy Guru Lady? 0:02:52.280 --> 0:02:56.720 Oh? Well, I think that you have to really know, 0:02:57.400 --> 0:03:00.280 you have to know how valuable you are going into 0:03:00.280 --> 0:03:03.399 a conversation like this, because the thing is like layoffs, 0:03:05.000 --> 0:03:09.000 budget cuts, they're all indications that the company is scaling back. 0:03:09.360 --> 0:03:12.040 But at a certain level, there's always money to invest 0:03:12.080 --> 0:03:14.480 where they want to invest. You know, So if you're 0:03:14.639 --> 0:03:18.640 in a for example, if this, if this opportunity, this 0:03:18.760 --> 0:03:20.920 new role at the company is in a real hot 0:03:21.040 --> 0:03:23.720 growing like they are investing a lot into this arm 0:03:23.760 --> 0:03:26.840 of the company, I think that you should use that 0:03:26.919 --> 0:03:30.080 as an indication of Okay, the skills that like, the 0:03:30.080 --> 0:03:32.000 reason they're wanting to be on this team is because 0:03:32.000 --> 0:03:34.560 they're investing in a lot. They really want me. I 0:03:34.639 --> 0:03:37.080 come to the table. I'm bringing a lot here, So 0:03:37.160 --> 0:03:40.160 I would say, yeah, you should definitely negotiate even though 0:03:40.360 --> 0:03:42.720 there's other parts of the company that are contracting and 0:03:42.760 --> 0:03:46.040 that they're having layoffs. As far as like how much 0:03:46.040 --> 0:03:48.120 more to ask? I mean, you can ask for anything 0:03:48.160 --> 0:03:50.480 you want, you know, when it comes at the end 0:03:50.480 --> 0:03:52.960 of the day, you really can. But are you basing 0:03:52.960 --> 0:03:56.240 it on like your market value currently? And I would 0:03:56.280 --> 0:03:59.040 ask sort of what your sources are for your current 0:03:59.080 --> 0:04:03.960 market value. It's really good to always be taking interviews 0:04:04.000 --> 0:04:08.280 and looking at job postings for similar roles at and 0:04:08.320 --> 0:04:12.520 this is important similar sized companies in the same industry, 0:04:12.760 --> 0:04:18.360 not just looking at you know, people with your job title, 0:04:18.440 --> 0:04:21.080 but are they working, like are these jobs at companies 0:04:21.120 --> 0:04:22.880 that are similar to yours? And that's a good and 0:04:23.040 --> 0:04:25.479 that's a good way to start to understand like what 0:04:25.560 --> 0:04:27.960 your market value is. And if you've done all that 0:04:28.080 --> 0:04:30.800 and you're like, oh, for sure, I'm worth twenty k more, 0:04:31.120 --> 0:04:33.680 then you can bring that, you know, justification to the 0:04:33.760 --> 0:04:37.560 negotiation table. And even better bargaining chip is always having 0:04:37.600 --> 0:04:40.960 a competing offer. You may not have that, but I 0:04:41.000 --> 0:04:44.640 would say I would add to that just when you 0:04:44.680 --> 0:04:47.800 are negotiating for a role internally at your company, you're 0:04:47.800 --> 0:04:50.720 always going to lack less. You're always going to lack 0:04:50.880 --> 0:04:54.560 leverage compared to someone who's negotiating from outside the company, 0:04:54.960 --> 0:04:57.600 because your company can see everything about you, and they 0:04:57.640 --> 0:04:59.480 know it's a twenty k jump, and they know how 0:04:59.520 --> 0:05:01.960 many years you've been there, and they have more excuses 0:05:02.000 --> 0:05:04.040 they can trot out to not pay you that extra 0:05:04.760 --> 0:05:07.279 well you know you have. They'll come up with like 0:05:07.320 --> 0:05:09.159 the oh, it's been three and a half years, but 0:05:09.520 --> 0:05:12.760 you know your last raise was just in January, so 0:05:12.960 --> 0:05:15.839 we don't want to get people raises this close back together. 0:05:15.920 --> 0:05:19.719 There's all kinds of like justifications, so I'd be ready 0:05:19.800 --> 0:05:22.520 for some of that. But at the end of the day, 0:05:23.920 --> 0:05:26.279 you should always know your market value and feel confident 0:05:26.320 --> 0:05:30.520 in asking for it. Other things to negotiate beyond your 0:05:30.520 --> 0:05:33.320 base salary. You said your bonus is two percent more, 0:05:35.120 --> 0:05:39.520 You could yeah, I mean you could ask for well, 0:05:39.560 --> 0:05:41.600 they probably won't give it to you at this stage, 0:05:41.640 --> 0:05:45.160 but could ask for a higher percentage of your target bonus. 0:05:46.760 --> 0:05:49.200 Not likely to get a signing bonus when you're internal 0:05:49.240 --> 0:05:51.800 to the company. I mean you they got you like 0:05:52.040 --> 0:05:54.840 you already work there, they know that, so there's a 0:05:54.880 --> 0:05:59.960 little less. There's a little less like fire under their 0:06:00.080 --> 0:06:02.360 butts to like, is that a phrase? I just made 0:06:02.400 --> 0:06:04.919 it up for them to negotiate with you? 0:06:05.839 --> 0:06:07.839 And can she ask for things like sick days or 0:06:07.920 --> 0:06:09.120 vacation days? 0:06:09.520 --> 0:06:12.960 Yeah, for sure. I find that now companies, well a 0:06:12.960 --> 0:06:15.640 lot of companies do unlimited PTO now, so it's not 0:06:16.040 --> 0:06:18.320 you know, the whole sick day things, vacation days, especially 0:06:18.360 --> 0:06:22.360 in tech. I don't know if those are you know, 0:06:23.240 --> 0:06:27.640 that big of a like that common anymore. It's really 0:06:27.680 --> 0:06:30.320 the compensation. Oh but equity though, So if you work 0:06:30.320 --> 0:06:33.920 at a tech company, they may with this promotion give 0:06:33.920 --> 0:06:35.919 you a bigger batch of equity, so you could definitely 0:06:35.920 --> 0:06:38.720 ask for that. Companies love giving equity because it's not 0:06:38.880 --> 0:06:42.760 real money to them, right, but it looks good on paper. 0:06:42.880 --> 0:06:45.560 We're gonna give you ten thousand dollars worth of our stock. 0:06:46.040 --> 0:06:48.520 Good luck because by the time you can actually it's 0:06:48.640 --> 0:06:50.440 vested and you can do something with it, it may 0:06:50.480 --> 0:06:53.360 not be worth ten thousand, but it looks good on paper. 0:06:55.040 --> 0:06:56.880 But yeah, I hope that you listen to this not 0:06:57.480 --> 0:06:59.560 in like, I hope you go out of order to 0:06:59.600 --> 0:07:04.680 listen to this episode. Also, Wow, that's a that's dedication 0:07:04.839 --> 0:07:06.440 to go all the way back, so you don't even 0:07:06.440 --> 0:07:08.840 know who we are today because so much changes. 0:07:09.600 --> 0:07:11.360 Yeah, well, I mean, well no, because she says she's 0:07:11.400 --> 0:07:13.320 up to twenty twenty two, So I mean. 0:07:13.200 --> 0:07:15.200 Who was I in twenty twenty two. I didn't have 0:07:15.280 --> 0:07:16.280 a second baby yet. 0:07:16.320 --> 0:07:17.920 I was gonna say the baby wasn't born yet. 0:07:18.880 --> 0:07:22.960 Yeah, we were just coming outside after the I don't know, 0:07:23.520 --> 0:07:27.600 but hello to our past selves and to you. Thanks 0:07:27.600 --> 0:07:30.520 for listening. Yeah, tell our pastself. It does get better, 0:07:31.160 --> 0:07:34.720 It does get better. Yes, all right, let's oh, let's 0:07:34.720 --> 0:07:36.760 take a quick break though, breaky break, and we'll come 0:07:36.800 --> 0:07:38.560 back for b a Q and A number two. 0:07:41.440 --> 0:07:45.000 We're back, black and broader than ever, and we are 0:07:45.160 --> 0:07:47.360 in his career day here at BAQA. When we are 0:07:47.440 --> 0:07:50.840 dive into your question, we I forgot to say this. Hello, 0:07:51.040 --> 0:07:53.680 our lawyer friends are cringing. First of all, this is 0:07:53.680 --> 0:07:54.840 Branna vision, that's. 0:07:54.760 --> 0:07:57.240 Right, b Aqa Right, this is where you. 0:07:57.360 --> 0:08:03.680 Have questions about career, business life, child, and we do 0:08:03.720 --> 0:08:07.040 our best as smarty pants brown girls to answer them. 0:08:07.160 --> 0:08:09.840 But with the caveat of all caveats. We are not 0:08:09.920 --> 0:08:14.200 your doctor, You're a lawyer, your engineer. We are not 0:08:14.280 --> 0:08:20.480 your plumber, right, We're just your online financial favorite Brown 0:08:20.480 --> 0:08:23.320 Girl besties when it comes to personal finance and such. 0:08:24.120 --> 0:08:26.400 But that means that if you need that next level 0:08:26.400 --> 0:08:29.400 what you are of feedback, that you should definitely lean 0:08:29.440 --> 0:08:31.240 into the people that you pay money to, because you 0:08:31.240 --> 0:08:33.160 don't pay us no money, You just listen, okay. And 0:08:33.160 --> 0:08:35.199 that means to your grandma, not us. Well, those are 0:08:35.200 --> 0:08:38.600 your grandma. She seems like a nice lady, but that's. 0:08:38.360 --> 0:08:39.720 Just us covering her minds. 0:08:40.360 --> 0:08:43.240 But if you have a question that you want featured 0:08:43.240 --> 0:08:46.000 on the b a q A, you could slide in 0:08:46.040 --> 0:08:48.880 the id d M s where browna Vision Podcasts, or 0:08:48.920 --> 0:08:55.679 you could email us at Brownavision Podcasts at gmail dot com. Right, okay, well, 0:08:56.160 --> 0:09:00.400 so second question, I'm gonna read this too because like 0:09:00.440 --> 0:09:04.560 it's hard for me. I have not had a traditional 0:09:04.640 --> 0:09:07.680 career in like fifteen years. Even when I did, I've 0:09:07.679 --> 0:09:09.880 only ever had one quote unquote real job. I graduated 0:09:09.960 --> 0:09:13.000 college and then I taught preschool and then I became Badjasa. 0:09:13.240 --> 0:09:14.160 So ye, career. 0:09:14.679 --> 0:09:17.319 I can certainly do career stuff from a sometimes from 0:09:17.320 --> 0:09:20.480 a boss perspective, yah, but I just lean into them 0:09:20.559 --> 0:09:21.640 to the manager of it all. 0:09:21.679 --> 0:09:22.160 Okay. 0:09:22.440 --> 0:09:25.200 So that's whenever you read these like, dang, when the 0:09:25.400 --> 0:09:28.320 budget needs to team asked me for this. They're listening 0:09:28.360 --> 0:09:30.440 to Mandy. She's causing me problem now. 0:09:30.559 --> 0:09:33.760 Please they're there are No, it's funny. 0:09:33.880 --> 0:09:33.960 No. 0:09:34.080 --> 0:09:36.280 I love it when the team is like, so, according 0:09:36.320 --> 0:09:39.400 to what you said on the podcast, some of that, 0:09:39.880 --> 0:09:41.280 and I been like, you know what, and I tell 0:09:41.280 --> 0:09:43.920 them I'm really proud of you for leaning in. And 0:09:44.160 --> 0:09:46.240 I honestly there's been times when my team has reached 0:09:46.280 --> 0:09:48.480 out and asked for more and I've been able to say, 0:09:48.480 --> 0:09:50.480 you know what, I never thought about that, let's do that. 0:09:50.520 --> 0:09:52.680 And there's been times when I've been able to say, 0:09:52.880 --> 0:09:54.920 I'm really proud of you for asking and here are 0:09:54.920 --> 0:09:57.200 the numbers. And although I can't do this, can we 0:09:57.240 --> 0:09:59.599 try this instead? So I don't get mad at But 0:09:59.679 --> 0:10:01.520 that's the point of this. I want good for everyone. 0:10:01.600 --> 0:10:04.400 Okay, I wish four people were like you, thank you. 0:10:04.559 --> 0:10:06.800 So we're gonna call this. Hope I'm not ghosted. Okay, 0:10:06.800 --> 0:10:07.720 I hope I'm not ghosted. 0:10:07.760 --> 0:10:11.839 All right, Hey, ladies, I love brand ambition and I'm 0:10:11.880 --> 0:10:14.520 so happy to have found this podcast. I'm in the 0:10:14.600 --> 0:10:17.760 running for a dream role that fits me perfectly. They 0:10:17.840 --> 0:10:20.920 told me that out of two hundred and fifty applicants, 0:10:21.080 --> 0:10:23.040 I made it to the top five and everything went 0:10:23.160 --> 0:10:25.920 very well in my finer interviews. The recruiter told me 0:10:26.120 --> 0:10:29.200 they'd let me know something asap, and unfortunately I haven't 0:10:29.480 --> 0:10:34.119 heard anything. I reached out with a thoughtful follow up email, 0:10:34.320 --> 0:10:37.000 and even though I got a response, Oh, even though 0:10:37.040 --> 0:10:40.120 I got a response, I still haven't gotten a yes 0:10:40.320 --> 0:10:40.840 or no. 0:10:41.559 --> 0:10:45.079 It's been three weeks, and now I'm very annoyed. Should 0:10:45.120 --> 0:10:46.439 I reach out to follow. 0:10:46.200 --> 0:10:50.120 Up again or just take the l and assume I'm ghosted? 0:10:50.800 --> 0:10:53.520 Oh ya, what would you tell? I? Hope I'm not ghosted? 0:10:54.120 --> 0:11:01.560 Oh ghosted? You've been ghosted? And you know, I could 0:11:01.559 --> 0:11:03.800 try to justify it. I always try to like put 0:11:03.800 --> 0:11:06.920 myself in the shoes of the person, like what's happening 0:11:07.040 --> 0:11:11.400 in the seasons, and like it's spring break, like maybe 0:11:11.440 --> 0:11:14.360 there was some lulls and vacation times. I understand how 0:11:14.360 --> 0:11:17.599 it can be when you need like your final interviews 0:11:17.600 --> 0:11:20.560 to happen and you need to like wrangle the higher 0:11:20.760 --> 0:11:23.600 like the managers and stuff, the multiple people who so 0:11:23.679 --> 0:11:25.720 and so's going on a vacation, so and so's got 0:11:25.760 --> 0:11:30.960 spring break whatever. Three weeks though, it's really if it's not, 0:11:31.160 --> 0:11:34.240 if you haven't fully been ghosted, I would still use 0:11:34.320 --> 0:11:36.400 I would still see this as a big red flag 0:11:36.760 --> 0:11:39.880 for the way that they treat candidates, and companies need 0:11:40.000 --> 0:11:43.559 to do better when it comes to the recruiting process, 0:11:43.600 --> 0:11:47.960 Like you genuinely can kill your reputation and people's desire 0:11:48.040 --> 0:11:50.520 to work for you based on how you treat your job. 0:11:50.600 --> 0:11:54.280 Candidates and good companies do understand that, and so they 0:11:54.280 --> 0:11:57.440 don't let this kind of thing happen. But yeah, it 0:11:57.520 --> 0:11:59.959 sounds like you've been ghosted or they're hedging their bets. 0:12:00.080 --> 0:12:01.920 The thing is you were You were the one of 0:12:02.120 --> 0:12:05.120 five top candidates. That's a lot of candidates, So I 0:12:05.160 --> 0:12:07.040 would say it's pretty clear that you were not their 0:12:07.040 --> 0:12:11.400 first choice, and they probably extended an offer to one 0:12:11.440 --> 0:12:14.800 of the other five, and they may be an active 0:12:14.840 --> 0:12:20.680 negotiations for that that candidate. That candidate may have not 0:12:20.840 --> 0:12:23.240 been happy with whatever they came through and they dropped 0:12:23.240 --> 0:12:25.160 out and then they went to their number two. So 0:12:25.800 --> 0:12:28.000 I feel like, if anything, maybe you were like the third. 0:12:28.520 --> 0:12:31.160 You know, you're not number one. That's the reality of 0:12:31.200 --> 0:12:34.640 the situation, because they would have already come back to 0:12:34.640 --> 0:12:38.199 you I believe is there a world in which they 0:12:38.240 --> 0:12:41.120 had to press pause on the whole thing and nobody 0:12:41.200 --> 0:12:45.199 got an offer? Yeah? But again, red Flag, why are 0:12:45.240 --> 0:12:47.960 they dysfunctional like that? And why are they not following through? 0:12:49.360 --> 0:12:54.119 It's been three weeks. I'm sorry. I wouldn't like I wouldn't. 0:12:55.800 --> 0:12:57.760 I wouldn't plan your life around this job. I would 0:12:57.880 --> 0:13:00.720 keep looking and don't. I mean, you got through the 0:13:00.760 --> 0:13:02.840 final round and that's great and all of that. I'm 0:13:02.880 --> 0:13:04.400 so sorry that this happened to you. 0:13:04.520 --> 0:13:10.079 It sucks. It maybe said girl you was ghosted. 0:13:10.880 --> 0:13:13.240 You were, and I mean it suck. I mean it's 0:13:13.320 --> 0:13:16.720 really unprofessional of them, and it's just I mean, you 0:13:16.800 --> 0:13:19.400 have to you can't think of candidates as not human, 0:13:19.440 --> 0:13:21.920 like they're human beings. Recruiters are human beings too. But 0:13:22.400 --> 0:13:25.160 you know how it would feel if you put you 0:13:25.200 --> 0:13:28.280 put yourself on the line and then you didn't hear 0:13:28.360 --> 0:13:31.280 back three weeks. That's a that's a that's just cruel. 0:13:31.320 --> 0:13:35.280 It's me. You know, it's at worst, it's cruel and 0:13:35.320 --> 0:13:40.280 at best it's inconsiderate. Right, So I'm really really sorry 0:13:40.320 --> 0:13:43.800 ghosted that you got ghosted. If you wanted to, you 0:13:43.800 --> 0:13:46.960 could follow up. I hate that you would even have to, 0:13:47.120 --> 0:13:49.760 but it may not. If you really want the job, 0:13:49.760 --> 0:13:51.240 it may It won't hurt you. I don't think to 0:13:51.320 --> 0:13:52.920 just follow up and remind them that you're there and 0:13:52.960 --> 0:13:55.320 you're still interested. They may be, like I said, in 0:13:55.440 --> 0:13:59.680 active negotiation with one or two other candidates and just 0:13:59.760 --> 0:14:02.240 wait for something to sort of work out. This is 0:14:02.280 --> 0:14:04.319 one of the reasons why they have a top five, 0:14:04.800 --> 0:14:08.080 because you may not get your top choice, and it 0:14:08.160 --> 0:14:13.200 is a competitive job market right now. So yeah, that's 0:14:13.240 --> 0:14:15.319 all I got. 0:14:16.960 --> 0:14:20.480 What I don't know, it's just man, it's like what 0:14:21.160 --> 0:14:26.960 you know, sometimes you just gotta pack your and and. 0:14:26.600 --> 0:14:28.680 To let my my inner feelings get in the way 0:14:28.680 --> 0:14:30.760 of my advice. Am I like being a Debbie downer? 0:14:31.040 --> 0:14:35.360 But to a radical candor, you know. 0:14:35.360 --> 0:14:36.920 It is that's what that's what it is that I'm 0:14:36.960 --> 0:14:40.240 laughing at your radical candor where you're just like, oh yeah, girl, 0:14:40.880 --> 0:14:41.840 that is what happened. 0:14:42.480 --> 0:14:45.960 Yeah, but they're even excited to be told I'm top five. 0:14:46.000 --> 0:14:48.400 I want to be like top two. You know. Top 0:14:48.440 --> 0:14:50.480 five is like okay, so I'm like your backup, backup, 0:14:50.480 --> 0:14:53.480 back up. Because they don't tell you anybody else their 0:14:53.480 --> 0:14:55.760 top They totally tell number five you're the top five. 0:14:56.240 --> 0:14:58.760 That's the thing. Number one and number two here's the 0:14:58.840 --> 0:15:00.880 number one and number two. If you're top five, you're 0:15:00.920 --> 0:15:05.000 probably the fifth. Okay, okay, is that mean? But it's true? 0:15:05.040 --> 0:15:07.120 No, no, no, no, But it's good to know because you're right 0:15:07.160 --> 0:15:09.240 if you're number because I wouldn't want I wouldn't want 0:15:09.280 --> 0:15:10.880 my number one or number two to feel like they 0:15:10.880 --> 0:15:12.720 were top five. I would want them to know. At 0:15:12.720 --> 0:15:14.000 the top of my limb precisely. 0:15:14.120 --> 0:15:14.560 Yeah. 0:15:14.840 --> 0:15:17.760 Yeah, And then I have been told I was top five, 0:15:17.760 --> 0:15:19.200 but I'm like, no, no, no, no, in my top 0:15:19.240 --> 0:15:21.400 one or two, like let's get it, let's come through 0:15:21.440 --> 0:15:23.240 the bs. 0:15:23.480 --> 0:15:24.920 Yeah yeah. 0:15:24.960 --> 0:15:26.440 But you know what though, if you if you got 0:15:26.440 --> 0:15:30.680 that far am I ghosted, that means you sound pretty 0:15:30.720 --> 0:15:32.560 excellent and that there will be something that'll be the 0:15:32.640 --> 0:15:34.480 right fit. I remember this is I mean, it doesn't 0:15:34.480 --> 0:15:37.040 necessarily apply to the jobs, but I remember when I 0:15:37.120 --> 0:15:40.200 was looking for homes and nothing seemed to be working out, 0:15:40.240 --> 0:15:42.160 and I remember Diane, I'll never forget who was my 0:15:42.240 --> 0:15:44.280 real turtht of time. She said, when you find the 0:15:44.360 --> 0:15:47.200 right home, you'll understand why the other ones didn't work out. 0:15:48.280 --> 0:15:51.280 You know, and I was like, whatever, Diane, you're freaking. 0:15:53.600 --> 0:15:55.760 But then she was right, because when I found the 0:15:55.840 --> 0:15:58.520 right home, I was like, oh my god, thank god 0:15:58.560 --> 0:16:00.320 the other one didn't work out, because this is the 0:16:00.360 --> 0:16:02.600 perfect home, you know, But at the time, you know, 0:16:02.600 --> 0:16:04.000 I didn't want to hear it so well. 0:16:04.000 --> 0:16:06.520 For me, it was like, when you find the perfect home, 0:16:06.520 --> 0:16:08.560 you're going to think it's the perfect home, but really 0:16:09.120 --> 0:16:11.240 it's not the perfect home. For more than two years, 0:16:11.680 --> 0:16:12.760 it'll be stuck there. 0:16:14.080 --> 0:16:15.560 Is that they. 0:16:17.080 --> 0:16:20.160 That's easy. Listen, you shop with the perspective of a 0:16:20.320 --> 0:16:22.800 New Yorker who's been living in shoe box apartments for 0:16:22.840 --> 0:16:24.240 seven years, it's very different. 0:16:24.320 --> 0:16:26.120 Well, you see that gap and gain, right, and if 0:16:26.160 --> 0:16:28.400 we talked about that in the yeah, and if you 0:16:28.400 --> 0:16:30.760 didn't listen to that past episode, the episode on Wednesday, 0:16:30.800 --> 0:16:32.560 we talked about the gap and the game at the end, 0:16:32.880 --> 0:16:34.080 and it's like, if you look at it from the 0:16:34.080 --> 0:16:36.360 game perspective, you're right, it's like, oh my gosh, from 0:16:36.360 --> 0:16:39.760 where we lived before, this is tremendously huge, Yeah, you know. 0:16:40.520 --> 0:16:44.640 Versus like, oh my gosh. You know, yes, you know. 0:16:45.040 --> 0:16:48.080 It's hard though, because you want the inspiration of like 0:16:48.120 --> 0:16:50.360 having a bigger place, but also the gratitude of you've 0:16:50.360 --> 0:16:51.680 come a long way, baby. 0:16:52.440 --> 0:16:55.040 And just you know, more bathrooms will be more toilets 0:16:55.040 --> 0:16:55.720 to clean. 0:16:56.240 --> 0:16:58.160 You know what I mean, especially with two boys, you 0:16:58.200 --> 0:16:58.720 know they're missing. 0:16:58.800 --> 0:17:01.120 I don't want a bigger house until I can afford 0:17:01.400 --> 0:17:03.560 the team I would need to support me living in 0:17:03.600 --> 0:17:05.480 that house, you know what I mean. Like it's gonna 0:17:05.480 --> 0:17:08.360 be expensive. I need like twice a week cleaners. These 0:17:08.359 --> 0:17:11.600 boys are messy. I'm messy. None of us likes cleaning. 0:17:12.240 --> 0:17:14.359 I am not a good wife. I'm not a good 0:17:14.400 --> 0:17:17.960 housekeeper my husband. I mean, I know I'm a good wife, 0:17:18.000 --> 0:17:19.800 but I'm not like a I joke all the time. 0:17:19.840 --> 0:17:21.679 I need a wife, That's what I mean. Like I 0:17:21.680 --> 0:17:24.240 need a traditional wife, like the cooking and the clean 0:17:24.680 --> 0:17:27.439 I mean a trad wife. Anybody looking to be a 0:17:27.480 --> 0:17:31.880 professional trad wife. Just a romantic relationship. Yeah, I don't 0:17:31.920 --> 0:17:33.600 need I don't need a house cleaner who comes once 0:17:33.600 --> 0:17:35.320 a week. I need someone who's here day to day 0:17:35.400 --> 0:17:37.600 to put the shoes back in the cubby holes, you know, 0:17:37.720 --> 0:17:40.600 and to wipe up the mess as we go because 0:17:40.680 --> 0:17:42.119 I'm too I'm too busy. 0:17:42.240 --> 0:17:46.080 I'm a living wife anyway. 0:17:46.680 --> 0:17:49.880 If you love their body, if you love brendabas shit, 0:17:50.040 --> 0:17:52.680 and do you think it's six that comes from? 0:17:52.720 --> 0:17:54.800 Well, there's a song like it goes. If you know 0:17:54.920 --> 0:17:55.359 that song? 0:17:55.640 --> 0:17:59.520 Yeah, so you think that let me fire up in 0:17:59.640 --> 0:18:02.199 term something like that. But why are we singing that 0:18:02.320 --> 0:18:05.199 and not Cowboy Carter? That's what we're singing that? 0:18:07.400 --> 0:18:10.080 Because I was gonna say, if you love our podcast 0:18:10.160 --> 0:18:11.320 and you think we're. 0:18:11.200 --> 0:18:14.120 Funny, come on, leave a review right now, go. 0:18:14.080 --> 0:18:18.840 To Apple I Live, some review or Spotify or wherever 0:18:18.880 --> 0:18:22.240 you leave reviews, and we're going to read something. We 0:18:22.280 --> 0:18:24.639 have two new ones from last time, White Mandy. If 0:18:24.640 --> 0:18:26.760 you didn't listen to a Wednesday, then you listened to 0:18:26.760 --> 0:18:28.120 Wednesday or whatever, then you've heard these. 0:18:28.320 --> 0:18:30.040 But these are new since last week. 0:18:31.480 --> 0:18:33.320 Well, the thing doesn't load to remember hole in a second, 0:18:33.320 --> 0:18:35.760 I'm going to just go to iTunes itself. 0:18:36.320 --> 0:18:38.760 So if you leave us a review, we might shout 0:18:38.760 --> 0:18:40.639 it out, we might read it. And by we I 0:18:40.680 --> 0:18:46.640 mean Mandy because yes I speak French. Yeah, and also too, 0:18:46.680 --> 0:18:49.560 if you really enjoy our podcast, we want to reach 0:18:49.560 --> 0:18:53.119 as many people as possible. She'll share. Share, share with 0:18:53.200 --> 0:18:57.639 your bestie, your work, hubby, your your husband, your kids, 0:18:58.440 --> 0:19:03.119 You're the lady, Whole Foods, whomever, Talvin Brannabis is the 0:19:03.240 --> 0:19:04.680 place to be on me. 0:19:05.200 --> 0:19:08.960 Okay, oh okay, oh okay. We got a new review 0:19:09.040 --> 0:19:13.360 on Friday, b Day of all days, ten out of ten. 0:19:13.520 --> 0:19:15.480 The review says, I love the show and the energy 0:19:15.520 --> 0:19:17.640 you both bring to the table. I've learned so much. 0:19:17.680 --> 0:19:22.800 Please continue to do what you're doing. Yeah, that's the 0:19:23.240 --> 0:19:28.159 newest one than we got to fellow in future. Ba girlies, 0:19:28.520 --> 0:19:33.560 listen to me. Sometimes sometimes information is useful. Sometimes just 0:19:33.640 --> 0:19:37.760 knowing that our information is helpful and useful. But sometimes 0:19:37.760 --> 0:19:39.960 just knowing I'm not alone and my failures and mistakes 0:19:39.960 --> 0:19:42.119 gives me the encouragement to get back on the horse, 0:19:42.200 --> 0:19:45.080 or just get on the horse. If you've made mistakes, 0:19:45.160 --> 0:19:48.600 are making mistakes, or want information to avoid making mistakes. 0:19:48.640 --> 0:19:52.280 Give the show a listen. Mandy is vulnerable. Tiffany drops 0:19:52.280 --> 0:19:56.280