1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:02,520 Speaker 1: Hey, this is am. This is John, your og Okay 2 00:00:02,640 --> 00:00:04,240 Speaker 1: story time podcast host. 3 00:00:04,080 --> 00:00:06,640 Speaker 2: And we got some delicious, juicy stories coming up. 4 00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:08,960 Speaker 1: But if you want to hear that deliciousness, you know, 5 00:00:09,160 --> 00:00:10,959 Speaker 1: just stick around for a two minute break with a 6 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:12,360 Speaker 1: word from our sponsors. 7 00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:16,119 Speaker 3: My ex husband is being neglectful to our children, so 8 00:00:16,239 --> 00:00:21,040 Speaker 3: I filed for higher child support. Good to start. My 9 00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:24,680 Speaker 3: thirty three female ex Harry thirty five mail and now 10 00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:27,520 Speaker 3: have been divorced for six years. We dated a bit 11 00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:31,120 Speaker 3: in high school when I visited a relative in his hometown, 12 00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:33,920 Speaker 3: which is a major city for the summers, but I 13 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,519 Speaker 3: would break up with him when I got back to 14 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:38,880 Speaker 3: my city for school, which is about two and a 15 00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:42,800 Speaker 3: half hours away. Not the most mature I know, but 16 00:00:43,159 --> 00:00:46,080 Speaker 3: even my parents were like, you don't need a long 17 00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:49,560 Speaker 3: distant relationship before you can vote. New rule, my kids 18 00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:51,600 Speaker 3: will not be able to date until they are able 19 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:51,960 Speaker 3: to vote. 20 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:53,680 Speaker 2: Good luck with that. Yeah, you're gonna have fun with 21 00:00:53,680 --> 00:00:54,040 Speaker 2: that one. 22 00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:57,240 Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from inter gingerbread Man, and 23 00:00:57,280 --> 00:00:59,120 Speaker 3: if you want to submit your own stories, go to 24 00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:01,400 Speaker 3: our size Okay stories super at it. So we kind 25 00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:04,360 Speaker 3: of kept in touch on Facebook, Lola at the time, 26 00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:09,000 Speaker 3: but my sophomore year of college. He ended up transferring 27 00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:12,800 Speaker 3: to my school. He got back together and got married 28 00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:16,720 Speaker 3: basically right after I graduated and moved to my hometown, 29 00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:21,160 Speaker 3: Slash City. Our kids, Matt eleven and Elsie, eight, came 30 00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:24,119 Speaker 3: pretty quickly and we had a good few years before 31 00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:27,160 Speaker 3: stop me if you heard this one. I just left 32 00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:30,000 Speaker 3: as if I was already a single mom of three 33 00:01:30,360 --> 00:01:33,240 Speaker 3: and was sick of working doing all the childcare and 34 00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:37,280 Speaker 3: all the cleaning, cooking, and planning. We tried therapy but 35 00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:41,480 Speaker 3: ultimately decided it wasn't going to work. For three years plus, 36 00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:44,880 Speaker 3: it was fantastic. We had a wonderful fifty to fifty 37 00:01:44,959 --> 00:01:48,720 Speaker 3: co parenting relationship. He was such a better father when 38 00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:51,040 Speaker 3: he had all of them to himself, and I had 39 00:01:51,080 --> 00:01:54,360 Speaker 3: brakes that I had been begging for. We agreed to 40 00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:56,880 Speaker 3: never bad mouth the other in front of the kids, 41 00:01:57,080 --> 00:02:00,800 Speaker 3: will make them feel responsible for our feelings, or anything 42 00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:04,440 Speaker 3: like that. We didn't have to spend a fortune on 43 00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:08,839 Speaker 3: a divorce because we were able to amically work everything out, 44 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:12,400 Speaker 3: which only benefited or kiddos. In late twenty twenty two, 45 00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:15,440 Speaker 3: he let me know he had gotten back together with Amy, 46 00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:18,760 Speaker 3: thirty five female. He said her name a bunch of 47 00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:21,280 Speaker 3: times like I should know who she was, and I 48 00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:24,680 Speaker 3: finally asked. Apparently, she was a girl he had dated 49 00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:28,280 Speaker 3: when I was not in town before we reconnected, because 50 00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:30,919 Speaker 3: she would see him during the summers, leave and then 51 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:33,440 Speaker 3: come back. I was honestly happy for him. I'm not 52 00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:36,320 Speaker 3: interested in dating, to be honest. My kids are too 53 00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:38,760 Speaker 3: young and I work a lot and have a ton 54 00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:41,440 Speaker 3: of friends and family. Amy lived in his hometown, and 55 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:44,080 Speaker 3: I know he visited her a ton when we didn't 56 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:47,120 Speaker 3: have the kids. We were a week on, week off, 57 00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:50,600 Speaker 3: but he was also there for his parenting time. The 58 00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:52,880 Speaker 3: kids met Amy and said they liked her a lot, 59 00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:56,280 Speaker 3: so I was happy. My parents were also divorced but 60 00:02:56,400 --> 00:03:00,720 Speaker 3: found other people while still being amazing parents, so I 61 00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:04,080 Speaker 3: was really hopeful. But twenty twenty three, he let me 62 00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:06,960 Speaker 3: know that he had proposed and would be moving back 63 00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:09,480 Speaker 3: to his hometown to be with Amy. I was pretty 64 00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:13,480 Speaker 3: stunned because he was such a dedicated and present father, 65 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:17,120 Speaker 3: and asked how he expected to work that out. He 66 00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:20,680 Speaker 3: was insistent that he wanted to keep the custody, but 67 00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:24,720 Speaker 3: admitted he could only do every other weekend parenting time. 68 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:27,639 Speaker 3: That sounded like a eighty twenty. 69 00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:30,400 Speaker 2: I think it's basically like in reality to eighty twenty. 70 00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:34,040 Speaker 2: But he wants to keep the legal precedent of him 71 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:37,760 Speaker 2: being able touce fifty percent if he wants to, so, like, 72 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:40,000 Speaker 2: for instance, he'd be like, Oh, I'm in towent for 73 00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:42,800 Speaker 2: this week, so I'm taking them for fifty percent of 74 00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:43,760 Speaker 2: that week or whatever. 75 00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:46,120 Speaker 3: If you're divorced with someone and it seems like everything's 76 00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:49,000 Speaker 3: very amicable, and it's like week gone, week off. One 77 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:50,680 Speaker 3: week you have them, one week they have them. You 78 00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:53,560 Speaker 3: don't need child support because you're handling one week and 79 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:55,480 Speaker 3: they're handling the other. But when it comes to like 80 00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:57,920 Speaker 3: one week plus five days. 81 00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:00,480 Speaker 2: We are back to the similar dilemma we were before. 82 00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:04,320 Speaker 2: There's the week, which is equivalent to the school year, 83 00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:07,960 Speaker 2: and then there's the weekends, which are equivalent to the summer. 84 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:09,640 Speaker 4: Hey, but what's better John the week. 85 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:12,080 Speaker 3: Of course, before we moved, we didn't have any sort 86 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:14,680 Speaker 3: of alimony or child support or anything, since we were 87 00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:18,479 Speaker 3: fifty to fifty and the big expenses split evenly. He 88 00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:22,520 Speaker 3: said he would keep splitting big expenses evenly and offered 89 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:25,360 Speaker 3: me child support since my expenses for the kids would 90 00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:28,359 Speaker 3: be going up having so much more than that. Not 91 00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:31,240 Speaker 3: that I was complaining about that. Again, we wanted to 92 00:04:31,279 --> 00:04:35,080 Speaker 3: work this out ourselves. Mostly why spend money on lawyers 93 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,599 Speaker 3: when we have two kids who could use it. I 94 00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:38,680 Speaker 3: love this mindset. 95 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:39,960 Speaker 4: This is good. 96 00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:42,680 Speaker 3: Yes, I make a bit more than him, not that 97 00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:46,360 Speaker 3: that really matters. But the first amount he offered, four 98 00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:49,719 Speaker 3: hundred for two kids a month was laughable. 99 00:04:49,279 --> 00:04:51,840 Speaker 2: Which like, honestly, we've looked up a child support it's 100 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:54,400 Speaker 2: so low, dude, it's so low. 101 00:04:54,279 --> 00:04:58,440 Speaker 3: For underbucks laughable. I didn't laugh at him or anything, 102 00:04:58,480 --> 00:05:00,680 Speaker 3: but I told him that that would not be acceptable. 103 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,160 Speaker 3: He said he was willing to continue paying half of 104 00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:07,119 Speaker 3: big expenses, which duh. Plus he'd be driving a five 105 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:10,760 Speaker 3: hour round trip since he was the one moving every 106 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:13,160 Speaker 3: other weekend. So he's like still doing the big expenses, 107 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:15,880 Speaker 3: plus another four hundred plus driving back and forth. 108 00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:18,080 Speaker 2: Well, I thought he wasn't doing anything before because they 109 00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:19,360 Speaker 2: were splitting expenses evenly. 110 00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:23,400 Speaker 3: Yes, so they're already spitting them evenly. But like, let's say, 111 00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:25,600 Speaker 3: like the kids, I don't know what that number would be, 112 00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:28,360 Speaker 3: would be like like six hundred for both of them. 113 00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:30,680 Speaker 3: So he's already paying three hundred plus an extra four 114 00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:33,800 Speaker 3: hundred plus gas to go back and forth, so he's 115 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:36,080 Speaker 3: adding like an extra five hundred a month. I thought 116 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:39,040 Speaker 3: about it a lot and figured out I am fine 117 00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:42,440 Speaker 3: financially as much as anyone is these days, and didn't 118 00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:45,279 Speaker 3: want to bankrupt him for child sport. The most important 119 00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:47,840 Speaker 3: thing to me was that he continued to be present 120 00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:50,520 Speaker 3: and an amazing father. So I said I would be 121 00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:54,200 Speaker 3: okay with six hundred a month plus the shared big expenses. 122 00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:56,480 Speaker 3: I thought he would be happy with this, but he 123 00:05:56,560 --> 00:06:00,640 Speaker 3: kept grumbling that he thought four hundred was more than fair. Ultimately, 124 00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:03,440 Speaker 3: he did agree to six hundred. Again, I really want 125 00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:05,680 Speaker 3: to make this work for my kids, so please don't 126 00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:08,440 Speaker 3: tell me I was an idiot for some of these things. 127 00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:10,680 Speaker 3: I really went out of my way to be helpful. 128 00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:13,520 Speaker 3: Like I said, I am single and have a ton 129 00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:16,120 Speaker 3: of family and friends, so I had more free time 130 00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:19,279 Speaker 3: if they had things going on. I never minded keeping 131 00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:22,359 Speaker 3: the kids for the weekend. Always encouraged the kids to 132 00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:25,719 Speaker 3: be excited to go there, bought gifts from them or 133 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:29,799 Speaker 3: things like Father's Day, so I Stepmother's Day, Christmas birthdays. 134 00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:32,880 Speaker 3: I didn't even know if I believed in love languages, 135 00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:36,400 Speaker 3: but if my kids have them. It's absolutely gift giving 136 00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:40,279 Speaker 3: and it's not like their butts have jobs. And even 137 00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:43,719 Speaker 3: worked it out from a relative in their city to 138 00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:46,840 Speaker 3: pick up our kids from their wedding ceremonies. Since they 139 00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:51,520 Speaker 3: had an only adults reception, these kind of gestures were 140 00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:55,800 Speaker 3: never reciprocated. She's going to great lengths to make this 141 00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:58,760 Speaker 3: work for the kids to still be in the dad's life, 142 00:06:58,839 --> 00:07:00,520 Speaker 3: but it doesn't look like the dad wants to be 143 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:02,680 Speaker 3: in the kids' life. So she's like preparing the kids 144 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:04,280 Speaker 3: to be in their lives. But I don't think he 145 00:07:04,320 --> 00:07:05,880 Speaker 3: wants to be in there live. I try to brush 146 00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:09,119 Speaker 3: it off and thought maybe I was just doing too much, 147 00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:11,360 Speaker 3: so I try to take a step back. When the 148 00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:13,680 Speaker 3: kids told me that some of the weekends they stayed 149 00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:16,960 Speaker 3: with me, Harry and Amy had gone on vacations like 150 00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:21,400 Speaker 3: Europe and Disney. I don't follow them on social media, obviously, 151 00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:22,920 Speaker 3: so I had no idea. 152 00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:26,840 Speaker 2: I am a single, independent woman and I'm taking care 153 00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:28,760 Speaker 2: of my kids, and you're telling me you're taking your 154 00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:32,800 Speaker 2: boothank to Europe and Disney pay me the money for 155 00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:33,360 Speaker 2: the kids. 156 00:07:33,840 --> 00:07:36,080 Speaker 3: Conspiracy theory. Amy wanted to be with the X and 157 00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:38,440 Speaker 3: Axe was like, I am a father. I want to 158 00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:40,200 Speaker 3: be a father to my children. If you want this 159 00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:42,600 Speaker 3: to work out, you're gonna have to be like supportive 160 00:07:42,640 --> 00:07:44,760 Speaker 3: of me and that. And he's like, okay, let's move 161 00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:48,560 Speaker 3: over here, Amy says, and then she starts like distracting him. 162 00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:51,120 Speaker 3: That's what I think happened. I go on vacation too, 163 00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:54,720 Speaker 3: but the idea of going on such an expensive vacation 164 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:58,760 Speaker 3: and not taking my kids sounds nuts. They're great travelers. 165 00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:02,200 Speaker 3: We actually went to pan last summer and had a blast. 166 00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:05,440 Speaker 3: Maybe I'm annoying parent, but I couldn't believe he'd leave 167 00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:09,800 Speaker 3: the country or go to freaking Disney and not take 168 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:13,080 Speaker 3: the kids, but not even let me know. I wanted 169 00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:16,400 Speaker 3: to remain amicable, but after I found that out, the 170 00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:20,280 Speaker 3: favors stopped. For the past few months, any time he 171 00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:22,840 Speaker 3: asked me to take them for a weekend because they 172 00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:27,320 Speaker 3: had plans, I'd say, oh, sorry, saying good luck, yes 173 00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:30,720 Speaker 3: if it was far in advance. I wasn't trying to 174 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:33,920 Speaker 3: be petty, but it wasn't as if they were asking 175 00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:37,840 Speaker 3: to switch weekends. Ever, it was always just them skipping. 176 00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:41,560 Speaker 3: I know his family is useless. No idea about hers 177 00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:44,439 Speaker 3: but he should be able to make time for his 178 00:08:44,559 --> 00:08:48,320 Speaker 3: children four days out of a month, and it's so 179 00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:52,440 Speaker 3: hard to go from a great, amicable co parenting relationship 180 00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:55,960 Speaker 3: to this din. A few months ago, I found out 181 00:08:56,280 --> 00:09:00,880 Speaker 3: he'd been asking my relatives and in his city for help. 182 00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:05,440 Speaker 3: Sometimes they did if they could, but not always. I 183 00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:07,720 Speaker 3: didn't want to keep bothering them, so I ended up 184 00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:10,720 Speaker 3: saying yes to keeping the kids more. Plus I obviously 185 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:14,199 Speaker 3: love them, But I started keeping track of every time 186 00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:17,040 Speaker 3: he asked me to keep them. Over a five month period. 187 00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:22,319 Speaker 3: It was five times, So it's fifty percent. He's like doing. 188 00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:25,800 Speaker 2: This, and he's already reduced it like crazy, rose down 189 00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:27,440 Speaker 2: to like five percent custody. 190 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:31,480 Speaker 3: Around that time, Matt had told me some pretty upsetting things. 191 00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:36,000 Speaker 3: Confided that he was okay staying here more. I was 192 00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:39,760 Speaker 3: clear that he could tell me anything and that nothing 193 00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:42,360 Speaker 3: was his fault at all. But he told me when 194 00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:44,640 Speaker 3: he was at his dad's. Okay, so Matt's one of 195 00:09:44,679 --> 00:09:46,600 Speaker 3: the kids. Both he and his sister needed to be 196 00:09:46,679 --> 00:09:49,320 Speaker 3: in their rooms at eight pm. Keep in mind this 197 00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:52,920 Speaker 3: was the weekend, not in bed, but they weren't allowed 198 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:55,120 Speaker 3: to be in the living room or anything or have 199 00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:58,360 Speaker 3: friends over. I asked if his dad and Amy were 200 00:09:58,440 --> 00:10:02,080 Speaker 3: home during these times. He said, yeah, but Amy's dog 201 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:04,760 Speaker 3: is aggressive and they keep it in their room during 202 00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:07,600 Speaker 3: the day, so when he and Elsie go to their rooms, 203 00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:10,720 Speaker 3: they let the dog out. He's not cooped up all day. 204 00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:13,960 Speaker 3: I love dogs. We have two. Number three. Elsie got 205 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:17,559 Speaker 3: a bad flu a few visits ago, and apparently he 206 00:10:17,679 --> 00:10:20,319 Speaker 3: had asked Harry to sleep with her in her room 207 00:10:20,679 --> 00:10:23,360 Speaker 3: and he refused. He said he needed to sleep with 208 00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:27,560 Speaker 3: Amy and our kids do not go sleep We always 209 00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:30,120 Speaker 3: let them sleep with us if they're sick, and asked 210 00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:33,760 Speaker 3: I don't expect Harry and Amy to let her sleep 211 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,960 Speaker 3: with them or anything. Both kids are not ever allowed 212 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:39,560 Speaker 3: in their room because of the dog. But why couldn't 213 00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:41,960 Speaker 3: he have stayed with her, even if it was just 214 00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:45,480 Speaker 3: until she fell asleep. I did not say this to them, 215 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:48,000 Speaker 3: but I told Matt and Elsie that their dad had 216 00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:51,199 Speaker 3: just gotten over the flu and probably just didn't want 217 00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:54,480 Speaker 3: to get or sick again, which made no sense. I 218 00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:56,840 Speaker 3: know I shouldn't have lied, but they were upset, and 219 00:10:56,840 --> 00:10:59,400 Speaker 3: they also made an agreement that they wouldn't talk bad 220 00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:02,400 Speaker 3: about each other in front of the kids. She's covering 221 00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:06,080 Speaker 3: his butt. Number four the worst, in my opinion, is 222 00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:08,880 Speaker 3: that when Matt randomly told is bad he wanted to 223 00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:11,800 Speaker 3: see him more, and he yelled at him and told 224 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:14,760 Speaker 3: him that he was seeing him a lot already and 225 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:18,280 Speaker 3: should want his dad to be happy, not miserable and 226 00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:22,240 Speaker 3: alone like his mom. I would like to again reiterate 227 00:11:22,320 --> 00:11:24,800 Speaker 3: and very happy being single, and I've turned a lot 228 00:11:24,840 --> 00:11:27,080 Speaker 3: of guys down. I prefer to spend my time with 229 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:30,520 Speaker 3: my friends and my kids and can date when they're older. 230 00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:33,640 Speaker 3: I don't like the stats on unrelated men being around 231 00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:36,520 Speaker 3: kids and don't fill the need to risk it anyways, 232 00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:39,120 Speaker 3: He's dalking trash in front of that, and plus like 233 00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:41,640 Speaker 3: the way he said it seemed like that was like 234 00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:43,680 Speaker 3: really pent up in him, and he was like, ugh. 235 00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:47,319 Speaker 2: Like probably back to your earlier theory. Amy's like what 236 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:51,040 Speaker 2: like and he's like just like stop because the kid 237 00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:52,960 Speaker 2: is like, can we spend more time together? And He's like, 238 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:56,840 Speaker 2: Amy's gonna freaking just be all over me about like 239 00:11:57,040 --> 00:11:57,880 Speaker 2: spending more time. 240 00:11:57,960 --> 00:12:02,720 Speaker 3: Bro is spicy cat whipped and he's just doing whatever 241 00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:06,360 Speaker 3: Emmy wants. So between all this and the misvisits, I 242 00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:09,560 Speaker 3: decided that I need to stand up for myself and 243 00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:13,199 Speaker 3: my kids more. If Harry could go on a European vacations, 244 00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:16,439 Speaker 3: he could afford more child support. I was done keeping 245 00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:18,920 Speaker 3: up the appearance of fifty to fifty custody when you 246 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:22,280 Speaker 3: only had the kids about forty five nights out in 247 00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:23,160 Speaker 3: twenty twenty four. 248 00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:24,800 Speaker 2: The numbers are too low because. 249 00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:26,720 Speaker 3: There's fifty two weeks in a year. 250 00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:28,040 Speaker 2: That's not even one day a week. 251 00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:30,800 Speaker 3: So I told Harry I was going to file for 252 00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:34,440 Speaker 3: updated child support in primary custody and get everything in 253 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:37,880 Speaker 3: writing and signed off by a judge. He said he 254 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:41,280 Speaker 3: was okay raising child support. He had apparently gotten a 255 00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:45,040 Speaker 3: few raises since we settled it, and he said he 256 00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:47,319 Speaker 3: would be fine with upping it to seven hundred and 257 00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:52,079 Speaker 3: fifty bucks, so before big expenses six hundred. He was like, okay, 258 00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:55,600 Speaker 3: I'm cool with doing big expenses seven to fifty. He 259 00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:57,760 Speaker 3: just added one hundred fifty bucks to it first of all, 260 00:12:57,920 --> 00:13:01,640 Speaker 3: all these raises and didn't even think to raise it yourself, Spike, 261 00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:04,920 Speaker 3: skipping almost half of your greed visitation and that low 262 00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:08,439 Speaker 3: of an amount. I told him it was insulting that 263 00:13:08,559 --> 00:13:11,200 Speaker 3: we could just let the court figure it out. He 264 00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:14,400 Speaker 3: reminded me that I made much more than he did, 265 00:13:14,679 --> 00:13:16,920 Speaker 3: and I was like, yeah, that's why I'm able to 266 00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:20,360 Speaker 3: take them on vacations when apparently you couldn't scrap up 267 00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:23,640 Speaker 3: enough money to take your children to Disney World, so 268 00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:27,120 Speaker 3: Disney World's not cheap. I know that was immature, but 269 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,920 Speaker 3: I was pissed. He tried fighting more, but I told 270 00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:32,520 Speaker 3: him I didn't intend on fighting with him outside of 271 00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:37,280 Speaker 3: court and filed. Obviously because I'm writing this, the judge 272 00:13:37,320 --> 00:13:42,880 Speaker 3: agreed to almost all of my requests. Child support was increased. 273 00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:46,360 Speaker 3: I have my primary custody and decision making, and it 274 00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:50,640 Speaker 3: can be adjusted more if you continue skipping weekends. To 275 00:13:50,679 --> 00:13:53,079 Speaker 3: be honest, this is all helped with the kids, and 276 00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:58,800 Speaker 3: they're increasing expenses and needs tremendously. We only communicate via 277 00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:01,880 Speaker 3: text or email and it's only about the kids, so 278 00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:04,199 Speaker 3: she like has the receipts right there, ready to go. 279 00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:06,520 Speaker 3: But a mutual friend of ours told me at a 280 00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:10,640 Speaker 3: wedding recently, Amy and Harry spent a bunch of time 281 00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:15,559 Speaker 3: complaining about me, calling me high conflict and a paracide 282 00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:19,200 Speaker 3: and much worse things when they drank more. I won't 283 00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:22,920 Speaker 3: repeat them. I got upset. My only goal is for 284 00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:25,880 Speaker 3: my kids to have a great childhood and a present dad. 285 00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:28,200 Speaker 3: And I feel like I fed that up. My kids 286 00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:31,160 Speaker 3: told me that Harry's the one who efed it up. 287 00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:34,160 Speaker 3: But I'm really doubting myself. So would I be the 288 00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:36,000 Speaker 3: ahole for pushing my ex to do more? 289 00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:39,640 Speaker 2: We got an update in my mind, you're raising at 290 00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:43,840 Speaker 2: kids with someone that other person has to be vile 291 00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:48,160 Speaker 2: because they're well being and their character and like everything 292 00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:52,000 Speaker 2: about them. They're also a co caretaker of my children. 293 00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:55,480 Speaker 2: So I'm like, no bad mouthing. I'm like, how can 294 00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:56,840 Speaker 2: we work on this? Like what can I do to 295 00:14:56,880 --> 00:14:58,640 Speaker 2: make your life easier? What can I do to make 296 00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:01,440 Speaker 2: you happy? Make your lif good? Because if your life 297 00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:05,080 Speaker 2: is good and you're happy, our kids are good. Our 298 00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:09,240 Speaker 2: kids are happy? Right? That is prime Mary numero uno. 299 00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:12,120 Speaker 2: And the fact that Opie has been doing all of 300 00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:15,160 Speaker 2: this stuff and then they're going around and you know, 301 00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:17,680 Speaker 2: first calling her a parasite and then calling her worse 302 00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:22,080 Speaker 2: things after they're getting a little shwifty, that is insanity. 303 00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:23,920 Speaker 3: I think less of him as a man and as 304 00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:27,400 Speaker 3: a father. Is he allowed Amy to ruin that for him? 305 00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:28,880 Speaker 4: Yeah? 306 00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:32,520 Speaker 2: Amy is absolutely totally poisoning his mind. 307 00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:33,560 Speaker 4: Opie's great. 308 00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:35,680 Speaker 2: I freaking love OPI, and I think OPI has a 309 00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:38,080 Speaker 2: reasonable judge of character, and so she was like, Hey, 310 00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:40,560 Speaker 2: before my judge of his character was he was good, 311 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:41,200 Speaker 2: he was helping. 312 00:15:41,280 --> 00:15:42,160 Speaker 4: It was fifty to fifty. 313 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:44,480 Speaker 2: We were great. I want to have an active father 314 00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:47,160 Speaker 2: in my kid's life. Oh, he's just doing all the 315 00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:50,520 Speaker 2: right things. And the more he sucks, the more I'm charging. 316 00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:55,880 Speaker 3: Update. Unfortunately things have degenerated since my last post. To 317 00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:59,160 Speaker 3: get this out of the way, I'm in therapy usually 318 00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:02,280 Speaker 3: once every other month or so. He was more often 319 00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:05,480 Speaker 3: closer to the divorce, and so are my kids. I 320 00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:09,000 Speaker 3: know Harry was seeing someone when he lived here. No 321 00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:11,720 Speaker 3: idea if he stold us he was supposed to have 322 00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:14,640 Speaker 3: the kids next weekend, as scheduled would and you believed it. 323 00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:17,080 Speaker 3: What happened, John, No, what happened. 324 00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:21,640 Speaker 5: Oh, I've gone a trip and I'm going through Italy 325 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:26,880 Speaker 5: and I'm going to sit my besso with Amy close. 326 00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:29,920 Speaker 3: But the other day he called they got last minute 327 00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:32,280 Speaker 3: tickets to a concert out of town and asked if 328 00:16:32,320 --> 00:16:34,640 Speaker 3: they could stay here. I let him know that I 329 00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:37,880 Speaker 3: actually had plans the entire weekend that had been set 330 00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:41,120 Speaker 3: up months ago, so he asked if I could either 331 00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:44,240 Speaker 3: bring them or if they could stay with one of 332 00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:46,760 Speaker 3: my family members in my city. So he's like, can 333 00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:48,560 Speaker 3: you just drive him over here, a two and a 334 00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:51,320 Speaker 3: half hour drive. I normally would have done just that 335 00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:54,920 Speaker 3: and pulled out my calendar and marked this off as 336 00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:59,080 Speaker 3: another misvisitation, but I was just sick of it. I 337 00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:01,360 Speaker 3: told him he needed to figure it out and not 338 00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:03,720 Speaker 3: to call my relatives in his city. They were not 339 00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:07,879 Speaker 3: his personal free babysitters and he was their father, so 340 00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:11,160 Speaker 3: he needed to start acting like it. He got upset, 341 00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:15,760 Speaker 3: said he was drowning. I almost laughed, but didn't, asking 342 00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:19,280 Speaker 3: him what he meant. He said he was struggling financially 343 00:17:19,359 --> 00:17:21,879 Speaker 3: due to the child support and felt like I was 344 00:17:21,920 --> 00:17:23,520 Speaker 3: trying to punish him for moving. 345 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:25,680 Speaker 4: Why does this dude go to a concert then? 346 00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:28,919 Speaker 3: And I bet you ten million bucker guess who's not 347 00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:30,200 Speaker 3: working in the relationship. 348 00:17:30,359 --> 00:17:32,640 Speaker 4: I'll give you an A, I'll give you an M. 349 00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:34,719 Speaker 2: I'll give you a y amy. 350 00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:39,240 Speaker 3: He said. I was allowed to be upset we weren't 351 00:17:39,280 --> 00:17:42,439 Speaker 3: together anymore, but needed to put the kids first and 352 00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:45,160 Speaker 3: work with him. I can believe he was saying these things. 353 00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:48,479 Speaker 3: He knows why our marriage ended. He knows that I 354 00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:51,880 Speaker 3: have moved mountains to make our co parenting relationship work. 355 00:17:52,119 --> 00:17:55,840 Speaker 3: I have pages of texts and emails of him thanking 356 00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:59,399 Speaker 3: me for being so accommodating and sympathetic to a situation 357 00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:04,160 Speaker 3: were even just a few months ago. I hung up. 358 00:18:04,359 --> 00:18:06,880 Speaker 3: I was at work and did not have the emotional 359 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:10,520 Speaker 3: bandwidth to be lied to about this crap. He tried 360 00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:12,960 Speaker 3: calling me back a few times, but I had meetings 361 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:15,960 Speaker 3: and I realized I shouldn't have spoken anger, so I 362 00:18:16,040 --> 00:18:18,560 Speaker 3: wanted to calm down. He even had his wife call 363 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:20,560 Speaker 3: me a few times, but I let it go to 364 00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:24,920 Speaker 3: voicemail after she left a few cruel ones, nothing shocking, 365 00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:28,119 Speaker 3: just saying I'm bitter and jealous that Harry moved on 366 00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:31,879 Speaker 3: and wanted to punish them. I want to emphasize again, 367 00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:36,040 Speaker 3: I would rather cut off my legs than be back 368 00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:39,040 Speaker 3: with him. I'm the one who filed for divorced and 369 00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:41,399 Speaker 3: stuck to my guns. It's like these two live in 370 00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:44,720 Speaker 3: some kind of delusion where I not only want my 371 00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:49,920 Speaker 3: ex back barf, but I've never helped them once. When 372 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:52,080 Speaker 3: I got home, I pulled the calendar for the past 373 00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:57,840 Speaker 3: two years, which had every missed visitation, including last minute requests, 374 00:18:58,080 --> 00:19:01,600 Speaker 3: all color coded accordingly. I would absolutely love to see 375 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,800 Speaker 3: this thing with the keys. Oh dude, that would make 376 00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:07,000 Speaker 3: my brain feel so nice. I emailed this to both 377 00:19:07,040 --> 00:19:09,959 Speaker 3: of them and said that Harry was responsible for coming 378 00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:13,919 Speaker 3: up with appropriate childcare during his visitation. If he was 379 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:17,600 Speaker 3: finding that challenging, we could look into changing the visitation 380 00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:21,959 Speaker 3: schedule to something more accommodating to their busy lifestyles. Then 381 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:24,439 Speaker 3: I left, She's still being like the angel here? What 382 00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:27,119 Speaker 3: the heck? Then I left to take my kids to 383 00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:30,120 Speaker 3: their sport practices. I did not hear from him. Normally, 384 00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:33,080 Speaker 3: Harry calls our kids every school night around eight pm, 385 00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:35,880 Speaker 3: but he did it that night. I felt guilty, as 386 00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:38,400 Speaker 3: I've said, the only goal here is for my kids 387 00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:40,840 Speaker 3: to grow up with the president father and might have 388 00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:44,040 Speaker 3: been dumb, but I did call him that evening so 389 00:19:44,119 --> 00:19:46,320 Speaker 3: he could say good night to them. He sent me 390 00:19:46,359 --> 00:19:49,000 Speaker 3: to voicemail. I told the kids he had gotten caught 391 00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:52,840 Speaker 3: up at work, which does happen often enough that they 392 00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:56,080 Speaker 3: weren't weirded out. At about three am, he sent me 393 00:19:56,400 --> 00:20:00,359 Speaker 3: maybe the longest text in eight record history I have 394 00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:03,919 Speaker 3: my phone on sleep mode, but kept his and my parents' 395 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:07,720 Speaker 3: number able to learn me for obvious reasons. And I 396 00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:09,760 Speaker 3: am a light sleeper, so I did wake up, but 397 00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:12,560 Speaker 3: I was half asleep, so how long the text was 398 00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:15,119 Speaker 3: and decided it was a problem for the morning. I 399 00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:18,119 Speaker 3: wish I had gotten up, because he ended up sending 400 00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:21,199 Speaker 3: a few more texts. Really proved that they do not 401 00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:24,760 Speaker 3: occupy the same reality as me. They were all self 402 00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:28,840 Speaker 3: centered and deranged, and even when he brought up the kids, 403 00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:32,399 Speaker 3: it was all about him, his wife and their lives 404 00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:35,639 Speaker 3: and feelings, saying one that it is my job as 405 00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:39,520 Speaker 3: a mother to facilitate the kid's relationship with him, because 406 00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:41,720 Speaker 3: he could have easily forced me to move to the 407 00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:45,040 Speaker 3: city he's in WTF, but chose not to so I 408 00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:47,560 Speaker 3: could stay here with my support system. 409 00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:49,960 Speaker 2: Hey, so it's your job to do my job. 410 00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:52,800 Speaker 3: And she did that, no wonder Oh my gosh too. 411 00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:56,840 Speaker 3: I don't think Amy enough for opening her life to 412 00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:59,600 Speaker 3: the kids by keeping her dog in their room when 413 00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:02,320 Speaker 3: the kids are here and giving them their own bedrooms 414 00:21:02,359 --> 00:21:04,080 Speaker 3: even though they're empty much of the time. 415 00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:07,240 Speaker 2: Thank you for giving a room to your children. 416 00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:10,200 Speaker 3: Thank you for doing the bare minimm. 417 00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:12,640 Speaker 5: I could have put him in Spike's kennel, but I 418 00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:14,920 Speaker 5: am a kind of generous man. 419 00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:16,280 Speaker 6: I dave them a room. 420 00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:21,400 Speaker 3: Three that he and Amy are young newlyweds, they are 421 00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:24,679 Speaker 3: neither of those things, and deserves to have that honeymoon 422 00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:29,120 Speaker 3: period with trips and opportunities without me putting up roadblocks. 423 00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:33,480 Speaker 3: For a lot of it was that insane belief that 424 00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:37,600 Speaker 3: I am somehow jealous of Amy this whole time and 425 00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:39,840 Speaker 3: needed to get over that for the kids. 426 00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:40,400 Speaker 6: Five. 427 00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:44,960 Speaker 3: Apparently my cruelty knows no bounds because I have never 428 00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:47,959 Speaker 3: driven the kids to him in his new city. The 429 00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:51,040 Speaker 3: core order is for him to do so, since he's 430 00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:54,200 Speaker 3: the one that moved. This is standard and no offense. 431 00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:58,280 Speaker 3: But I'm already furious that my kids have to spend 432 00:21:58,359 --> 00:22:01,280 Speaker 3: so much time in the car every weeks, and I'm 433 00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:04,359 Speaker 3: not putting miles on my car just so that he 434 00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:07,159 Speaker 3: doesn't have to drive more at one point, because I 435 00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:09,560 Speaker 3: know the kids hate the long drives. I offered to 436 00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:12,200 Speaker 3: split the costs for flights between our cities, which are 437 00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:15,840 Speaker 3: like thirty minutes and anywhere from fifty to seventy five 438 00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:18,639 Speaker 3: per ticket, so not cheap but saves time, and he 439 00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:22,840 Speaker 3: refused saying the airport in his city is annoying to Gatcho. 440 00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:26,640 Speaker 3: There is no direct amtrak between our cities. It would 441 00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:30,080 Speaker 3: be like eight hours plus. I believe six. They might 442 00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:32,480 Speaker 3: just get full custody and make me be the one 443 00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:35,359 Speaker 3: to jump through hoops to see my children so that 444 00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:38,879 Speaker 3: I can know how they feel. You know, simply just 445 00:22:38,960 --> 00:22:41,679 Speaker 3: get full custody, because apparently in their world they deserve 446 00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:45,640 Speaker 3: every little whim of their own desire. Seven. He accused 447 00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:50,800 Speaker 3: me of financials for upping child support when I wasn't destituted. 448 00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:55,520 Speaker 3: Apparently useless. I'm living under the property line. My kids 449 00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:58,480 Speaker 3: don't deserve financial help from their father. I have PTO 450 00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:01,000 Speaker 3: to burn and just decided to take one day to 451 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:05,280 Speaker 3: myself because I'm so overwhelmed and upset about all of this. Yes, 452 00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:08,280 Speaker 3: I did screenshot all of this for my lawyer. I 453 00:23:08,359 --> 00:23:10,520 Speaker 3: don't want to be the cause of my kid's father 454 00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:13,840 Speaker 3: abandoning them, but I have been at beyond my limit 455 00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:16,439 Speaker 3: for so long. I don't know what to do. They 456 00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:19,280 Speaker 3: both treat me so horribly and make these assumptions that 457 00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:21,800 Speaker 3: are simply not true. I want my kids to have 458 00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:25,280 Speaker 3: their dad and their lives. I've ruined myself ragged, making 459 00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:28,720 Speaker 3: it work, taking up the slack when they drop the weekends, 460 00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:34,119 Speaker 3: doing all the mental heavy lifting, or looking ahead and 461 00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:38,439 Speaker 3: switching weekends if, for instance, Father's Day falls on mine 462 00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:41,480 Speaker 3: or her birthday when I know she doesn't want them 463 00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:45,000 Speaker 3: around falls on their weekend, and planning ahead of time 464 00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:48,240 Speaker 3: and contacting them, and guys, we want to freaking contact 465 00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:50,440 Speaker 3: you every single day. 466 00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:53,720 Speaker 2: All you gotta go to is where drawn Spotify, Apple 467 00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:56,200 Speaker 2: podcast or your favorite podcast apps. 468 00:23:56,520 --> 00:23:58,040 Speaker 3: And what the heck do they look up? 469 00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:00,520 Speaker 2: Okay, story time and. 470 00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:05,800 Speaker 3: What will be there waiting for them podcasts, full episodes 471 00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:08,359 Speaker 3: of these stories. 472 00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:13,119 Speaker 2: I give to you the gift of us. 473 00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:16,560 Speaker 3: I am so done. I want to offer this fine. 474 00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:19,760 Speaker 3: You win, no more child support, keep all your money. 475 00:24:20,119 --> 00:24:23,160 Speaker 3: You can see the kids the weekends after Christmas and Thanksgiving. 476 00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:25,719 Speaker 3: Those are when they celebrate the holidays anyways, and on 477 00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:29,760 Speaker 3: Father's Day otherwise they're with me. You can live your 478 00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:32,520 Speaker 3: child free life. Me and my kids will just be 479 00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:35,360 Speaker 3: fine without you. I can't keep putting up with this abuse. 480 00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:38,040 Speaker 3: I'm at my breaking boy and op As, you should 481 00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:40,240 Speaker 3: be done with this. Stop playing these games. I just 482 00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:43,200 Speaker 3: hate that, like the dad, he was doing some good 483 00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:45,200 Speaker 3: and now like, the kids are gonna have to figure 484 00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:45,560 Speaker 3: that out. 485 00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:47,600 Speaker 2: She was like, I want them to have their father 486 00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:49,800 Speaker 2: in the life, which is great as long as the 487 00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:52,560 Speaker 2: father is good. But remember the older kid not went 488 00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:54,560 Speaker 2: to op and it is like, hey, the vibe is 489 00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:57,720 Speaker 2: not good. That's when it's like, it's better to not 490 00:24:57,880 --> 00:25:01,320 Speaker 2: have their father as it acted in their lives and 491 00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:04,400 Speaker 2: be home with Opee where they know they're getting attention, 492 00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:07,600 Speaker 2: care for love, space, all of that. 493 00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:09,359 Speaker 3: That is the end of the story. 494 00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:14,320 Speaker 2: My boyfriend's a fair partner sent me a message she 495 00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:16,880 Speaker 2: wants to apologize. By the way, for context, the fair 496 00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:19,359 Speaker 2: partner question was in the twenties, and then op and 497 00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:22,120 Speaker 2: the exit are both twenty three. So hi all using 498 00:25:22,119 --> 00:25:25,080 Speaker 2: a Thorroway account as my original account is traceable. A 499 00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:27,560 Speaker 2: quick background. My ex and I broke up six months ago. 500 00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:30,080 Speaker 2: We were together for about three years and I found 501 00:25:30,119 --> 00:25:32,840 Speaker 2: out he was cheating on me. But to be clear, 502 00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:34,520 Speaker 2: there were a lot of other reasons why we broke up. 503 00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:36,840 Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from Frustrated throw Away and 504 00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:38,399 Speaker 2: if you want to submit your own stories, go to 505 00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:41,120 Speaker 2: our slus Okay storytime and send those bad boys in. 506 00:25:41,320 --> 00:25:43,720 Speaker 2: So it was a messy breakup because my ex just 507 00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:46,760 Speaker 2: basically split and didn't want to discuss things. He told 508 00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:49,040 Speaker 2: me that he didn't need to discuss things anymore because 509 00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:52,520 Speaker 2: he already had someone new. A few days after a breakup, Wow, 510 00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:56,680 Speaker 2: my exend, this girl who will call Jessica, started posting 511 00:25:56,760 --> 00:25:59,800 Speaker 2: all over social media about their relationship. I found this gross, 512 00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:02,240 Speaker 2: but what else could I do. I was just basically 513 00:26:02,359 --> 00:26:05,280 Speaker 2: hurting and didn't want to engage anymore. My exes family 514 00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:07,560 Speaker 2: reached out to me to basically say they were also 515 00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:10,880 Speaker 2: uncomfortable about it. A mere few weeks after our breakup, 516 00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:14,000 Speaker 2: my ex brought Jessica to a family dinner to introduce her. 517 00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:17,119 Speaker 2: They weren't enthusiastic because they know that she's the girl 518 00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:20,159 Speaker 2: my ex was cheating on me with, and everything was 519 00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:23,080 Speaker 2: way too quick. My dad reached out to me and 520 00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:25,320 Speaker 2: even told me not to feel hurt if I saw 521 00:26:25,359 --> 00:26:28,159 Speaker 2: pictures online. While they were uncomfortable, they didn't want to 522 00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:30,600 Speaker 2: cause a scene. I just unfollowed people related to my 523 00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:32,880 Speaker 2: ex so I wouldn't see it. His family has been 524 00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:35,080 Speaker 2: very caring about me and would support me to say 525 00:26:35,119 --> 00:26:37,200 Speaker 2: they wish we could work things out. Each time I 526 00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:39,520 Speaker 2: would decline and just said that I wish we could 527 00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:40,359 Speaker 2: have closed things up. 528 00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:40,680 Speaker 3: Well. 529 00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:43,320 Speaker 2: Ultimately, I musted up the courage to message my ex 530 00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:47,040 Speaker 2: so that he would return any very sentimental and valuable things, 531 00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:50,160 Speaker 2: some of which belonged to my family. I also asked 532 00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:52,159 Speaker 2: if he could talk to me so we could finally 533 00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:55,000 Speaker 2: close things. He agreed, and we did so. The gist 534 00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:57,760 Speaker 2: of our discussion was him apologizing for what he did. 535 00:26:57,880 --> 00:27:00,040 Speaker 2: He told me that he and Jessica broke up but 536 00:27:00,280 --> 00:27:03,280 Speaker 2: were still talking, that he still loved me, and just 537 00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:05,400 Speaker 2: general reminiscing. Not a lot of. 538 00:27:05,320 --> 00:27:06,119 Speaker 4: People get closure. 539 00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:08,360 Speaker 2: Saw. While the discussion was a bit confusing, I did 540 00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:09,119 Speaker 2: appreciate it. 541 00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:09,840 Speaker 4: I thought that was the. 542 00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:12,000 Speaker 2: End of it. We never spoke after we both said 543 00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:14,520 Speaker 2: our piece. I was already dating someone else and they 544 00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:16,840 Speaker 2: were still talking, so it seemed that both of us 545 00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:19,920 Speaker 2: were just moving on. Yesterday, I randomly received a message 546 00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:23,920 Speaker 2: from Jessica the affair partner. She said that she knew 547 00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:26,560 Speaker 2: I was mad and that I deserved to feel that way, 548 00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:28,919 Speaker 2: and asked if we could talk. Do we talk with 549 00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:31,439 Speaker 2: the affair partner because she could at least paint some 550 00:27:31,480 --> 00:27:32,560 Speaker 2: context on what happened. 551 00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:35,360 Speaker 4: I like to talk because for something like this. It's 552 00:27:35,359 --> 00:27:37,680 Speaker 4: better to have more information than no information. 553 00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:39,480 Speaker 2: She said she knew I was mad and that I 554 00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:41,120 Speaker 2: deserve to feel that way, and we could talk. 555 00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:42,480 Speaker 4: I asked her, what about? 556 00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:44,320 Speaker 2: What do we could talk about? She said she wanted 557 00:27:44,359 --> 00:27:47,560 Speaker 2: to apologize for everything and that she understood how they 558 00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:49,920 Speaker 2: did hurt me. She said that her mistake was after 559 00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:53,000 Speaker 2: finding out about the truth my ex cheating, they should 560 00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:57,280 Speaker 2: have kept their relationship low key. She said that she 561 00:27:57,400 --> 00:27:59,520 Speaker 2: always wanted to reach out, but didn't have the guts to. 562 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:02,760 Speaker 2: She even mentioned that she tried talking to my ex 563 00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:05,000 Speaker 2: to talk to me. I don't know how to take 564 00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:07,119 Speaker 2: it and what her proper response to this would be. 565 00:28:07,240 --> 00:28:09,400 Speaker 2: I just don't agree with her sentiments on the situation. 566 00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:12,680 Speaker 2: It's already been many months afterwards, and I didn't appreciate 567 00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:15,120 Speaker 2: the need to suddenly dig up things that I thought 568 00:28:15,119 --> 00:28:18,240 Speaker 2: were already resolved. I also don't buy the idea that 569 00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:21,720 Speaker 2: she didn't know about me. Just three days before the breakup, 570 00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:23,840 Speaker 2: my ex was still posting pictures of me on a 571 00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:27,240 Speaker 2: social media posts that he didn't delete. But even giving 572 00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:29,879 Speaker 2: her the benefit of the doubt, she knew almost immediately 573 00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:32,800 Speaker 2: after we broke up that my ex cheated on me 574 00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:35,280 Speaker 2: with her. Am I being too harsh or better? I 575 00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:38,000 Speaker 2: don't think I'm too angry anymore, but maybe I just 576 00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:42,360 Speaker 2: have a strong dislike of her. There is an update, Riley, 577 00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:43,560 Speaker 2: You've got thoughts. I can feel it. 578 00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:48,040 Speaker 3: So this Jessica the affair partner comes to you. She 579 00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:51,120 Speaker 3: still wanted to keep the relationship going after finding out 580 00:28:51,360 --> 00:28:52,760 Speaker 3: that she was the other woman. 581 00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:55,680 Speaker 2: What does she want from op I think alleviating her 582 00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:58,240 Speaker 2: own guilt, But I could be wrong. Like at first 583 00:28:58,280 --> 00:28:59,960 Speaker 2: when she said I want to talk, I'm like, oh, 584 00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:02,760 Speaker 2: there's like some sort of like big mystery. I don't know, 585 00:29:02,920 --> 00:29:05,200 Speaker 2: we don't know about right, or maybe there's like other 586 00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:07,280 Speaker 2: people he did this too, there's a whole network of women. 587 00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:10,000 Speaker 2: But it just seems like I like wanted to talk 588 00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:12,840 Speaker 2: to you. I didn't really like know I was like 589 00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:14,680 Speaker 2: the a fair partner, but like it kind of like 590 00:29:14,720 --> 00:29:16,920 Speaker 2: did or something, so like like I tried to get 591 00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:20,760 Speaker 2: him to talk to you about it, but it didn't work. Sorry, 592 00:29:20,960 --> 00:29:22,680 Speaker 2: That's what it feels like. And again, like Opie said, 593 00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:26,200 Speaker 2: is like, hey, this is months after the facts. Why 594 00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:28,480 Speaker 2: are we talking about this. Opie's like, I'm trying to 595 00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:30,560 Speaker 2: move on with my life. I'm done with that bozo, 596 00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:33,240 Speaker 2: like I've already had the closure talk with him. I 597 00:29:33,240 --> 00:29:35,920 Speaker 2: don't get it. But there is an update. So hiall. 598 00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:38,320 Speaker 2: My initial posts didn't garner much attention, but I wanted 599 00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:40,920 Speaker 2: to give a short update. I never responded back to 600 00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:44,040 Speaker 2: Jessica and basically told her that while I understood she 601 00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:47,400 Speaker 2: was guilty, there really isn't anything she can do and 602 00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:49,560 Speaker 2: should do for me. This is the words we need 603 00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:52,080 Speaker 2: to be saying out of our mouth holes to Jessica 604 00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:55,080 Speaker 2: the affair partner, just that she has to make better 605 00:29:55,120 --> 00:29:57,480 Speaker 2: decisions now and hopefully her guilt would mean that she 606 00:29:57,520 --> 00:30:00,400 Speaker 2: wouldn't hurt people like this again. During the holiday, my 607 00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:03,200 Speaker 2: ex's dad greeted me with a Merry Christmas. I was 608 00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:06,520 Speaker 2: also told of the news that Jessica was four to 609 00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:08,760 Speaker 2: five months pregnant with my ex's child. 610 00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:11,640 Speaker 3: Do we think that this soon to be mother was 611 00:30:11,680 --> 00:30:15,360 Speaker 3: expecting something out of a pee in a way. I mean, 612 00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:17,800 Speaker 3: I understand the alleviating guilt could be a reason why 613 00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:20,360 Speaker 3: she wants to talk. Maybe I don't understand that. I 614 00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:22,840 Speaker 3: don't understand how someone can go try to alleviate guilt. 615 00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:24,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I think she's just like, oh, if 616 00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:26,560 Speaker 2: like you forgive me, then I'll feel better. 617 00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:28,840 Speaker 3: Okay, that makes so much more sense. But do you 618 00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:31,200 Speaker 3: think maybe she's trying to wringle this child in this. 619 00:30:32,160 --> 00:30:35,200 Speaker 2: I'm like, what if she's so stupid that she's like, 620 00:30:35,440 --> 00:30:37,840 Speaker 2: I think this is your baby? So it all lines 621 00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:40,800 Speaker 2: up now. I guess that's what she messaged me because 622 00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:43,160 Speaker 2: they found out around that time, just as she was 623 00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:45,640 Speaker 2: really sorry lemeo. After that, my ex and I had 624 00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:47,760 Speaker 2: the chance to talk. While of course I was still 625 00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:49,400 Speaker 2: not okay with the fact that he cheated on me. 626 00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:52,320 Speaker 2: I wouldn't wish ill upon an unborn child. He has 627 00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:53,680 Speaker 2: a lot of growing up to do and is not 628 00:30:53,720 --> 00:30:56,560 Speaker 2: the most financially stable person. It also turns out that 629 00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:58,640 Speaker 2: this girl is quite young. I told him that I 630 00:30:58,680 --> 00:31:01,200 Speaker 2: wished him well despite everything. His dad told me that 631 00:31:01,240 --> 00:31:03,440 Speaker 2: he still believes that he can make something of himself. 632 00:31:03,520 --> 00:31:05,160 Speaker 2: When my ex and I talked, he admitted to me 633 00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:07,240 Speaker 2: that the reason he cheated with me was because he 634 00:31:07,320 --> 00:31:09,400 Speaker 2: knew I was already going to break up with him. 635 00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:11,120 Speaker 2: That's not a reason, and. 636 00:31:11,080 --> 00:31:13,120 Speaker 3: He probably just said that in order to get in 637 00:31:13,160 --> 00:31:14,520 Speaker 3: her pantalon taste. 638 00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:18,760 Speaker 2: It's so frustrating how people listen to and accept this logic. 639 00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:21,960 Speaker 2: Now that's partly true because months before I sum him down, 640 00:31:22,160 --> 00:31:24,080 Speaker 2: talked to him about issues in our relationship and that 641 00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:25,840 Speaker 2: I had wanted to bring to his attention the fact 642 00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:28,880 Speaker 2: that things were no longer healthy. I guess it was 643 00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:32,280 Speaker 2: my prelude to an amicable breakup. He told me that 644 00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:34,040 Speaker 2: there was really a better way to break things off, 645 00:31:34,080 --> 00:31:36,040 Speaker 2: but that he was too scared to be alone after 646 00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:36,640 Speaker 2: breaking up. 647 00:31:36,720 --> 00:31:40,760 Speaker 3: He's manipulating. Ooh this man, where do these people click 648 00:31:40,840 --> 00:31:42,080 Speaker 3: up these ideas and do this? 649 00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:46,000 Speaker 2: What are we doing here? Shut up? That's what that is. 650 00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:49,240 Speaker 3: And I was wondering, like, what town hall attendee thing 651 00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:51,320 Speaker 3: do these guys go to in order to think up 652 00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:53,400 Speaker 3: of these manipulative tactics. 653 00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:56,640 Speaker 2: Dude, they go to the weenie hut juniors. So he 654 00:31:56,760 --> 00:31:58,800 Speaker 2: made sure he had someone to run to when we 655 00:31:58,880 --> 00:32:01,200 Speaker 2: finally broke things off. I just really wish that we 656 00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:03,680 Speaker 2: could have ended things better. He was my best friend. 657 00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:05,640 Speaker 2: The new shocked me, but in a good way. I 658 00:32:05,640 --> 00:32:08,000 Speaker 2: guess I was able to get closure. I'm certainly in 659 00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:10,240 Speaker 2: a good and healthy relationship and starting this year with 660 00:32:10,280 --> 00:32:12,280 Speaker 2: a really great outlook. Oh wow, we're back in a 661 00:32:12,320 --> 00:32:14,120 Speaker 2: new great one. Thank you for all the advice. I 662 00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:17,960 Speaker 2: wish everyone had a great holiday. Edit. Oh wow, I 663 00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:19,320 Speaker 2: really wasn't expecting. 664 00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:19,800 Speaker 4: This to blow up. 665 00:32:19,920 --> 00:32:21,920 Speaker 2: I thought my post was locked, but I'm glad I checked. 666 00:32:21,920 --> 00:32:23,920 Speaker 2: I was sick last night and only have the chance 667 00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:26,400 Speaker 2: to see it now. Just a few clarifications because a 668 00:32:26,440 --> 00:32:28,680 Speaker 2: lot of people have questions. I'm sorry I wasn't able 669 00:32:28,680 --> 00:32:30,800 Speaker 2: to clear the details, as I don't want to submit 670 00:32:30,880 --> 00:32:33,800 Speaker 2: such a lengthy post. I realized after rereading my post 671 00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:37,000 Speaker 2: about how confusing it was. My apologies first is that yes, 672 00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:40,480 Speaker 2: I did respond back to Jessica the affair partner after 673 00:32:40,520 --> 00:32:44,280 Speaker 2: I posted, but she responded again. I no longer message 674 00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:47,000 Speaker 2: her after that. You're all correct based on the timeline. 675 00:32:47,080 --> 00:32:50,440 Speaker 2: She did get pregnant after we broke up, I discovered 676 00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:53,840 Speaker 2: his cheating. What I didn't mention or was fully clear 677 00:32:53,920 --> 00:32:56,680 Speaker 2: yet was around four to five months ago. My ex 678 00:32:56,800 --> 00:32:59,040 Speaker 2: talked to me and told me that he and Jessica 679 00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:01,920 Speaker 2: broke up, but they realized that they were in a 680 00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:05,080 Speaker 2: relationship for the wrong reason. We talked for closure, but 681 00:33:05,160 --> 00:33:08,800 Speaker 2: I realized he was also just testing the waters with me. 682 00:33:09,040 --> 00:33:11,680 Speaker 2: I could be wrong too, So basically he's like, oh, 683 00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:14,080 Speaker 2: Jessica's got this kid. Let me see if I can 684 00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:16,240 Speaker 2: run on out of here and go back to OP. 685 00:33:16,720 --> 00:33:19,360 Speaker 2: And he's like, she don't want me, so I'll bounce back, 686 00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:19,800 Speaker 2: I guess. 687 00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:22,920 Speaker 3: And the IQ to go to this Wiener Hut Juniors 688 00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:24,000 Speaker 3: has to be under like. 689 00:33:24,240 --> 00:33:28,440 Speaker 2: Bro negative one hundred thousand. You have to have negative 690 00:33:28,520 --> 00:33:31,800 Speaker 2: brain cells to enter this frickin' super weeny Hut Juniors. 691 00:33:32,040 --> 00:33:34,320 Speaker 2: So there are a number of people who also questioned 692 00:33:34,360 --> 00:33:36,120 Speaker 2: why I kept in contact with the people in my 693 00:33:36,160 --> 00:33:38,920 Speaker 2: ex's life, or why I even talked to him about 694 00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:41,600 Speaker 2: everything afterwards. Well, I agree, this isn't the most healthier 695 00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:44,000 Speaker 2: mature I'll call myself on that plenty of times. It 696 00:33:44,040 --> 00:33:45,800 Speaker 2: was just really hard to detach from his family, who 697 00:33:45,800 --> 00:33:47,880 Speaker 2: I had grown really close to. When my exes dad 698 00:33:47,960 --> 00:33:49,560 Speaker 2: last talked to me, he told me that things will 699 00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:51,200 Speaker 2: never change and he still loves me like a daughter. 700 00:33:51,280 --> 00:33:52,720 Speaker 2: And while a lot of people don't agree with my 701 00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:54,959 Speaker 2: last communication with my ex, I think it was helpful 702 00:33:54,960 --> 00:33:56,960 Speaker 2: for both of us to process moving forward. I think 703 00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:59,400 Speaker 2: we left the conversation clearing out that we didn't have 704 00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:01,600 Speaker 2: any hate for you each other, just wishing each other well, 705 00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:03,680 Speaker 2: which is like, oh, Pie's a freakinsane. I'm sorry. 706 00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:06,200 Speaker 3: Well, OPI is on the sideline being. 707 00:34:06,040 --> 00:34:09,080 Speaker 6: Like, how can we both emotionally and mentally go through 708 00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:10,040 Speaker 6: this amicably? 709 00:34:10,239 --> 00:34:13,799 Speaker 5: And he's like, I need someone for my wiener And 710 00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:18,120 Speaker 5: I'm a very sad bar Anyways. Also, I have to 711 00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:20,880 Speaker 5: admit that I don't have the most positive image of Jessica. 712 00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:22,960 Speaker 2: I watched myself a lot of the times not to 713 00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:25,120 Speaker 2: be hateful. It's hard to judge when you have negative 714 00:34:25,120 --> 00:34:27,240 Speaker 2: things shown to you. She had a lot of heurtful 715 00:34:27,239 --> 00:34:29,279 Speaker 2: things to me outside of the cheating, but in the 716 00:34:29,320 --> 00:34:31,279 Speaker 2: grand scheme of things, I really don't know the full 717 00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:33,640 Speaker 2: story anyways, Without the chips felt, I think all I 718 00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:35,680 Speaker 2: can do now is just wish them the best. By 719 00:34:35,719 --> 00:34:38,239 Speaker 2: the way, wish us the best by listening to us 720 00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:40,799 Speaker 2: every single day of your lives. Go to Spotify, Apple, 721 00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:43,520 Speaker 2: where you ever listen to pods, search okay, story time, 722 00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:46,160 Speaker 2: listen to us for eternity. Twenty eighteen was a tough year. 723 00:34:46,320 --> 00:34:48,759 Speaker 2: I went through a breakup, I was cheated on, I 724 00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:52,280 Speaker 2: lost my sister, Oh my god, and had to recontact 725 00:34:52,320 --> 00:34:54,840 Speaker 2: my ex to get things my sister used to own back. 726 00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:57,120 Speaker 2: These are things I referenced in the initial post and 727 00:34:57,200 --> 00:34:59,560 Speaker 2: basically had to pull myself back up after all this pain, 728 00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:01,480 Speaker 2: the loss. I'm glad to leave it all behind. It 729 00:35:01,560 --> 00:35:04,000 Speaker 2: to twenty eighteen, and I'm going to be starting twenty 730 00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:06,799 Speaker 2: nineteen strong. Thank you for all the positivity and warm 731 00:35:06,840 --> 00:35:08,439 Speaker 2: wishes and to a healthy year. 732 00:35:08,520 --> 00:35:10,359 Speaker 3: I will say, you're gonna have one good year ahead 733 00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:10,560 Speaker 3: of you. 734 00:35:10,640 --> 00:35:14,719 Speaker 2: The twenty nineteen is gonna be cool. John here og host. 735 00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:16,480 Speaker 2: We're gonna get back to these stories, but a quick 736 00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:18,680 Speaker 2: three minute break from as from our sponsors. 737 00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:22,880 Speaker 7: My ex husband's Valentine's gift for He's a Fair Partner 738 00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:25,320 Speaker 7: was delivered to my house. 739 00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:26,800 Speaker 6: I threw it away. 740 00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:28,400 Speaker 4: Was it nice though? 741 00:35:28,640 --> 00:35:29,200 Speaker 6: I hope so? 742 00:35:29,520 --> 00:35:29,880 Speaker 4: Okay? 743 00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:32,719 Speaker 7: I hope it was a lingerie a diamond necklace into 744 00:35:32,719 --> 00:35:33,120 Speaker 7: the trash. 745 00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:34,080 Speaker 4: I would have just kept it. 746 00:35:34,560 --> 00:35:37,400 Speaker 7: My ex husband, thirty four male and I thirty eight female, 747 00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:40,080 Speaker 7: have been separated for a year and the divorce was 748 00:35:40,160 --> 00:35:43,000 Speaker 7: final last year. About three years prior, I caught him 749 00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:46,080 Speaker 7: in an affair in which he cried and promised things 750 00:35:46,120 --> 00:35:48,520 Speaker 7: would change and he would never do it again. I 751 00:35:48,640 --> 00:35:51,799 Speaker 7: was stupid, believed him and stayed. By the way this 752 00:35:51,840 --> 00:35:55,200 Speaker 7: comes from lived left love lie and if you want to. 753 00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:56,960 Speaker 6: Submit your own stories, good our slashowcase stories. 754 00:35:57,000 --> 00:36:01,000 Speaker 7: I'm suppared it. So after countless infidelities, I finally found 755 00:36:01,080 --> 00:36:04,120 Speaker 7: enough sense and respect for myself to leave the relationship. 756 00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:07,760 Speaker 7: This man gaslit me to the nth degree about his affairs, 757 00:36:07,840 --> 00:36:09,759 Speaker 7: to the point where he said I needed therapy for 758 00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:13,040 Speaker 7: the marriage to continue for my false assumptions and questioning 759 00:36:13,080 --> 00:36:15,880 Speaker 7: his trust. In fact, solid proof of his multiple affairs 760 00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:18,759 Speaker 7: were found days after the last you need therapy for 761 00:36:18,840 --> 00:36:21,440 Speaker 7: not trusting me speech. This was the same day I 762 00:36:21,560 --> 00:36:23,080 Speaker 7: asked for a divorce. 763 00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:23,960 Speaker 6: As you can. 764 00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:25,680 Speaker 7: Imagine, this has been a lot to deal with in 765 00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:28,120 Speaker 7: having to keep in contact with him to complete divorce 766 00:36:28,200 --> 00:36:31,560 Speaker 7: proceedings and removing his name from my house was painful. 767 00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:34,240 Speaker 7: Fast forward one year to today. He has not lived 768 00:36:34,239 --> 00:36:37,400 Speaker 7: here for a year. This is all the relevant information 769 00:36:37,960 --> 00:36:40,799 Speaker 7: about uh. This is my house. His name is not 770 00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:43,080 Speaker 7: on it. In any way. I still get mail for 771 00:36:43,160 --> 00:36:46,040 Speaker 7: him here in which I have constantly and kindly asked 772 00:36:46,120 --> 00:36:48,239 Speaker 7: him via text to change his address, for which he 773 00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:50,759 Speaker 7: says he did, and hold double check every time. This 774 00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:54,120 Speaker 7: mail includes things like insurance cards for his new affair baby. 775 00:36:54,440 --> 00:36:56,120 Speaker 7: Just last week, he picked up the last of his 776 00:36:56,200 --> 00:36:59,280 Speaker 7: belongings and important mail, which I've held for months waiting 777 00:36:59,280 --> 00:37:01,239 Speaker 7: for him to pick up. Celebrated this would be the 778 00:37:01,280 --> 00:37:04,479 Speaker 7: last time I would ever need to contact or see 779 00:37:04,520 --> 00:37:08,600 Speaker 7: him again. Yesterday I received a package, and without thinking, 780 00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:10,720 Speaker 7: I opened it on my way into the door, thinking 781 00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:13,640 Speaker 7: it was one of my many Amazon buys. L well, 782 00:37:13,680 --> 00:37:18,000 Speaker 7: it's a jewelry box with two rather cheap looking necklaces inside. 783 00:37:18,120 --> 00:37:20,040 Speaker 4: Something I didn't you kind of got it right in 784 00:37:20,080 --> 00:37:24,960 Speaker 4: then you did say diamond It was a yeah, diamonds. 785 00:37:25,239 --> 00:37:27,400 Speaker 7: It's kind of, I don't know, kind of crazy that 786 00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:29,960 Speaker 7: he's just getting her like necklaces. 787 00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:30,200 Speaker 6: Off of Amazon. 788 00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:33,880 Speaker 7: I double check the shipping label and it's my ex 789 00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:37,719 Speaker 7: husband's name. This is clearly a Valentine's present for the 790 00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:40,680 Speaker 7: new girl, as the rhyinestones are green, which I immediately 791 00:37:40,719 --> 00:37:42,799 Speaker 7: recognized as her month's birthstone. 792 00:37:42,840 --> 00:37:44,600 Speaker 4: How did you How do you know that? I know 793 00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:47,239 Speaker 4: that she went deep down that stock. 794 00:37:47,480 --> 00:37:49,080 Speaker 6: Yeah, she was like, who is this girl? 795 00:37:49,480 --> 00:37:51,320 Speaker 4: When's our birthday? 796 00:37:55,239 --> 00:37:57,560 Speaker 7: He's never ordered from this company when we were together, 797 00:37:57,719 --> 00:37:59,760 Speaker 7: so I would have understood if he had an existing 798 00:37:59,840 --> 00:38:02,400 Speaker 7: case which had the old address, But I don't see 799 00:38:02,400 --> 00:38:04,840 Speaker 7: that as the case at this point, I feel this 800 00:38:04,960 --> 00:38:08,080 Speaker 7: is almost intentional. How many times can one put the 801 00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:10,920 Speaker 7: wrong address on your things? This man is very much 802 00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:13,160 Speaker 7: an but even I don't know if he would go 803 00:38:13,200 --> 00:38:15,880 Speaker 7: that far or if he's just that stupid. Would I 804 00:38:15,920 --> 00:38:17,920 Speaker 7: be the a hole for throwing away the whole package 805 00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:18,759 Speaker 7: in the trash. 806 00:38:18,840 --> 00:38:19,640 Speaker 6: I looked it up and. 807 00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:22,120 Speaker 7: It was under eighty bucks and not fine jewelry by 808 00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:25,000 Speaker 7: any means. Also, I really want to go no contact 809 00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:27,319 Speaker 7: moving forward, so I would rather not text him if 810 00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:29,239 Speaker 7: it can be avoided. I would be lying if I 811 00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:32,080 Speaker 7: said I didn't still harbor resentment and hate, but I 812 00:38:32,120 --> 00:38:35,759 Speaker 7: feel guilty not giving someone something they paid for. And 813 00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:39,400 Speaker 7: there are some comments, and I presume an update. I 814 00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:40,640 Speaker 7: don't know if you'll have this take. 815 00:38:40,840 --> 00:38:44,560 Speaker 4: Okay, pop off, I think you should throw him out. 816 00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:46,279 Speaker 4: I assume that would be your take. 817 00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:47,759 Speaker 6: I think you should throw him out. 818 00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:51,000 Speaker 7: I mean, he cheated on you for months and lied 819 00:38:51,040 --> 00:38:55,000 Speaker 7: about it continuously. Awesome, it is under eighty bucks. That's 820 00:38:55,040 --> 00:38:57,600 Speaker 7: like a parking ticket. He has to pay the fine 821 00:38:57,760 --> 00:39:01,000 Speaker 7: for cheating on you, and it's it's like seventy bucks. 822 00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:06,720 Speaker 4: That's what I'm saying. It's a deal. 823 00:39:06,960 --> 00:39:09,000 Speaker 7: It's like not even like you should be paying like 824 00:39:09,120 --> 00:39:11,160 Speaker 7: thousands of dollars, but he's just. 825 00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:12,840 Speaker 6: Paying seventy bucks. That's nothing. 826 00:39:13,960 --> 00:39:16,560 Speaker 7: But there are some comments, so we're gonna jump into them. 827 00:39:16,800 --> 00:39:20,640 Speaker 7: Comment number one, Not the a hole. He's deliberately sending 828 00:39:20,680 --> 00:39:23,000 Speaker 7: things to your address to mess with you. Throw it 829 00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:24,080 Speaker 7: away and block his number. 830 00:39:24,239 --> 00:39:25,040 Speaker 6: You deserve peace. 831 00:39:25,200 --> 00:39:27,719 Speaker 7: Reply, and if he does trying to make contact, it's 832 00:39:27,760 --> 00:39:30,879 Speaker 7: a simple no. Not of your trash is here, You're 833 00:39:30,920 --> 00:39:32,960 Speaker 7: out of my life. Reply says yeah, den I ever 834 00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:35,960 Speaker 7: receiving anything. Reply porch pirate must have gotten it, lowell, 835 00:39:35,960 --> 00:39:37,800 Speaker 7: repackage it and leave it in a visible place on 836 00:39:37,840 --> 00:39:38,200 Speaker 7: the porch. 837 00:39:38,280 --> 00:39:39,080 Speaker 6: Okay, comment too. 838 00:39:39,120 --> 00:39:40,719 Speaker 7: I was wondering how far I would have to read 839 00:39:40,760 --> 00:39:43,840 Speaker 7: before someone stated what should be obvious. Throwing away someone 840 00:39:44,160 --> 00:39:47,920 Speaker 7: someone else's mail is illegal and a federal offense. Market 841 00:39:48,080 --> 00:39:50,359 Speaker 7: return has not been at this address for a length 842 00:39:50,360 --> 00:39:53,120 Speaker 7: of time, and put it back in the box. That way, 843 00:39:53,160 --> 00:39:55,359 Speaker 7: every time your mail person takes one back, they get 844 00:39:55,400 --> 00:39:57,360 Speaker 7: a reminder that he is gone in the first place, 845 00:39:57,360 --> 00:39:59,319 Speaker 7: and they will catch more in the future. I'm going 846 00:39:59,320 --> 00:40:01,680 Speaker 7: through this with my mom. She passed away after changing 847 00:40:01,680 --> 00:40:03,560 Speaker 7: he address to my house. If I throw it away, 848 00:40:03,680 --> 00:40:06,200 Speaker 7: she stays on the mailing list that gets reused and 849 00:40:06,239 --> 00:40:08,719 Speaker 7: sold and more mail shows up. Returning it is a 850 00:40:08,719 --> 00:40:12,320 Speaker 7: hassle to everyone, granted, but being annoyed charged for return 851 00:40:12,360 --> 00:40:14,239 Speaker 7: mail is what gets them to take the name off 852 00:40:14,239 --> 00:40:14,880 Speaker 7: of their list. 853 00:40:14,960 --> 00:40:18,840 Speaker 4: Okay, okay, solution, reasonable answer. No, it's it's the solution 854 00:40:19,080 --> 00:40:19,840 Speaker 4: we found it. 855 00:40:20,040 --> 00:40:25,080 Speaker 7: Perhaps one route take an Amazon delivery is not a 856 00:40:25,120 --> 00:40:28,000 Speaker 7: federal offense like the mail, but you know it's not yours, 857 00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:29,919 Speaker 7: so you are stealing it regardless of the reason why. 858 00:40:29,960 --> 00:40:31,520 Speaker 7: That's what I was gonna say, because I feel like 859 00:40:31,560 --> 00:40:34,719 Speaker 7: if it's official mail, that is a federal offense. But 860 00:40:34,920 --> 00:40:37,880 Speaker 7: I'm pretty sure Amazon packages it's not a federal offense 861 00:40:37,920 --> 00:40:39,960 Speaker 7: given how many people steal Amazon packages. 862 00:40:40,080 --> 00:40:42,759 Speaker 4: I don't not that that's good, to be clear, I 863 00:40:42,800 --> 00:40:46,200 Speaker 4: just don't care about legality. Just just send it back. Yeah, 864 00:40:46,239 --> 00:40:48,239 Speaker 4: you don't care about reality. Yeah, I'm a freaking bad 865 00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:52,439 Speaker 4: app WHOA, I'm traveling with you in very soon. 866 00:40:52,520 --> 00:40:53,280 Speaker 2: I'm very scared. 867 00:40:53,760 --> 00:40:54,200 Speaker 6: You better. 868 00:40:55,120 --> 00:40:57,239 Speaker 7: If more Amazon boxes show up, then you have to 869 00:40:57,280 --> 00:40:59,479 Speaker 7: contact them, tell them you did not order it. Most 870 00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:01,279 Speaker 7: likely what they do is tell you to keep it. 871 00:41:01,440 --> 00:41:03,400 Speaker 7: Then you can do with it whatever you want. And 872 00:41:03,480 --> 00:41:05,520 Speaker 7: Amazon just had to pay out for the livery. So 873 00:41:05,600 --> 00:41:07,680 Speaker 7: that happens a few times, and Amazon is going to 874 00:41:07,680 --> 00:41:09,920 Speaker 7: put a stop to it. Is my guests, do not 875 00:41:10,120 --> 00:41:13,279 Speaker 7: give this guy easy ammunition. He would probably love the 876 00:41:13,360 --> 00:41:15,239 Speaker 7: chance to take you to small claims court or to 877 00:41:15,239 --> 00:41:18,480 Speaker 7: share on social media how jealous and vindictive you are 878 00:41:18,520 --> 00:41:20,319 Speaker 7: for stealing the necklace set he got for his. 879 00:41:20,320 --> 00:41:22,520 Speaker 6: New girl and baby like it's a trap card. Okay, 880 00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:26,040 Speaker 6: but you can't prove that with the reddits. 881 00:41:27,440 --> 00:41:30,160 Speaker 7: If they find this medi story, you can. That's on 882 00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:35,200 Speaker 7: you all. Now you can't do the throwaway route. Update First, 883 00:41:35,320 --> 00:41:37,520 Speaker 7: thank you all for the comments reminding me that I 884 00:41:37,560 --> 00:41:39,480 Speaker 7: don't owe him anything. I don't know why I still 885 00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:41,440 Speaker 7: feel guilty for doing what I want to do. I 886 00:41:41,520 --> 00:41:43,560 Speaker 7: just got home from work, so as of now, the 887 00:41:43,600 --> 00:41:46,760 Speaker 7: package is still in my possession. Later today, the dreaded 888 00:41:46,800 --> 00:41:49,680 Speaker 7: text did come. No, I did not block him. He 889 00:41:49,719 --> 00:41:51,920 Speaker 7: said he just found out they sent another package to 890 00:41:51,960 --> 00:41:54,840 Speaker 7: my house and claimed he went off on customer service 891 00:41:54,880 --> 00:41:56,600 Speaker 7: for using his billing address again. 892 00:41:56,719 --> 00:41:58,120 Speaker 6: I left him on red. 893 00:41:57,960 --> 00:42:00,600 Speaker 7: Interesting because this is the first package from this company 894 00:42:00,600 --> 00:42:03,839 Speaker 7: to ever arrive at this house. But mostly his billing 895 00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:08,640 Speaker 7: address is still my house. Okay, Okay, he hasn't changed it. 896 00:42:08,719 --> 00:42:11,680 Speaker 7: He knows he hasn't changed it, and feels that's a valid. 897 00:42:11,360 --> 00:42:12,359 Speaker 6: Excuse for the mix up. 898 00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:15,239 Speaker 7: He's running away from tons of debt collectors, so now 899 00:42:15,320 --> 00:42:18,240 Speaker 7: starting to put together to the dots of why he's. 900 00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:19,360 Speaker 6: Not updating his address. 901 00:42:19,560 --> 00:42:21,719 Speaker 7: If it was a true mistake, part of me thought 902 00:42:21,760 --> 00:42:24,480 Speaker 7: possibly he might not have the audacity to reach out 903 00:42:24,480 --> 00:42:26,920 Speaker 7: to me about the gift to avoid awkwardness or shame 904 00:42:27,120 --> 00:42:29,680 Speaker 7: due to the nature of the gift. I know if 905 00:42:29,800 --> 00:42:31,400 Speaker 7: I was in his shoes, I would have written that 906 00:42:31,440 --> 00:42:33,560 Speaker 7: off as a loss, moved on with my life, and 907 00:42:33,600 --> 00:42:37,120 Speaker 7: bought a replacement. To avoid awkward and cringey conversation, I've 908 00:42:37,160 --> 00:42:39,720 Speaker 7: taken the advice of many here and bought a return 909 00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:42,920 Speaker 7: to sender a stamp from Amazon good to use on 910 00:42:43,040 --> 00:42:45,480 Speaker 7: everything else I get from here on out. Until then, 911 00:42:45,600 --> 00:42:48,080 Speaker 7: I hope he doesn't just show up at my house unannounced, 912 00:42:48,120 --> 00:42:50,080 Speaker 7: because I'm not sure if I'm going to respond. I'm 913 00:42:50,080 --> 00:42:52,400 Speaker 7: going to think about the package one more night before 914 00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:55,759 Speaker 7: sending it into the ABYSS. Additional update for clarity on 915 00:42:55,760 --> 00:42:58,239 Speaker 7: the affair baby. I'm getting a lot of questions on 916 00:42:58,280 --> 00:43:01,120 Speaker 7: the timeline of the affair baby. The baby was born 917 00:43:01,239 --> 00:43:04,040 Speaker 7: last year, calculating conception date based on the do date 918 00:43:04,239 --> 00:43:08,160 Speaker 7: he knocked her up while we were still married, that 919 00:43:08,320 --> 00:43:13,000 Speaker 7: was assumed. Yeah, I think op's just doubling. Yeah, I 920 00:43:13,040 --> 00:43:15,800 Speaker 7: didn't say conception based on birth date because the baby 921 00:43:15,880 --> 00:43:18,080 Speaker 7: was born three months early. How did I find out? 922 00:43:18,239 --> 00:43:21,040 Speaker 7: Friends on social media? How did I know the details? 923 00:43:21,239 --> 00:43:21,880 Speaker 6: He told me? 924 00:43:22,040 --> 00:43:25,000 Speaker 7: Info overshared in several of his excuses as to why 925 00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:27,080 Speaker 7: he couldn't meet with the estate attorney back when I 926 00:43:27,120 --> 00:43:29,680 Speaker 7: was removing him from the homes. Deed, more info than 927 00:43:29,680 --> 00:43:31,799 Speaker 7: I would have ever cared to know. And there is 928 00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:36,520 Speaker 7: a second update. But do you anan other thoughts? 929 00:43:37,520 --> 00:43:42,440 Speaker 4: Just already feels more complicated than in the about what about. 930 00:43:42,200 --> 00:43:44,960 Speaker 6: Like the whole story, it's always gets Reddit. 931 00:43:45,320 --> 00:43:46,560 Speaker 4: Like just send it back and. 932 00:43:46,640 --> 00:43:49,719 Speaker 6: In there we go. Yeah, well, I think it's like 933 00:43:49,880 --> 00:43:51,000 Speaker 6: we live for the drama here. 934 00:43:52,200 --> 00:43:54,040 Speaker 7: But I think it's like it is kind of something 935 00:43:54,080 --> 00:43:56,640 Speaker 7: that you have to think hard about, not necessarily on 936 00:43:56,719 --> 00:43:58,680 Speaker 7: what to do, but it is just something that would 937 00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:01,400 Speaker 7: probably bring up all of these emotions. 938 00:44:01,440 --> 00:44:04,280 Speaker 4: I understand that, like the emotional context and story behind 939 00:44:04,280 --> 00:44:06,120 Speaker 4: it is so much larger than this scenario. 940 00:44:06,280 --> 00:44:06,560 Speaker 7: M hm. 941 00:44:07,960 --> 00:44:09,239 Speaker 4: And that being said, if you don't want to deal 942 00:44:09,280 --> 00:44:10,120 Speaker 4: with Just send it. 943 00:44:10,040 --> 00:44:12,320 Speaker 7: Back, return it, and now it's out of your hands. 944 00:44:12,960 --> 00:44:15,160 Speaker 7: I didn't think this post would blow up like it did. 945 00:44:15,239 --> 00:44:17,120 Speaker 7: I'm a little nervous that he's going to see the 946 00:44:17,200 --> 00:44:19,440 Speaker 7: post and know it's about him, even though this is 947 00:44:19,480 --> 00:44:22,239 Speaker 7: a throwaway account, but part of me doesn't care. Thank 948 00:44:22,280 --> 00:44:24,759 Speaker 7: you to everyone for the advice and for reminding me 949 00:44:24,840 --> 00:44:26,640 Speaker 7: that I owe him nothing. It also brought to light 950 00:44:26,680 --> 00:44:29,520 Speaker 7: that I'm being entirely too kind to someone who continues 951 00:44:29,560 --> 00:44:31,400 Speaker 7: to torment me and use me. 952 00:44:31,600 --> 00:44:31,759 Speaker 6: Oh. 953 00:44:31,800 --> 00:44:34,319 Speaker 7: Also, I really enjoyed all the creative, toxic ideas of 954 00:44:34,360 --> 00:44:35,120 Speaker 7: what to do with the neck. 955 00:44:35,200 --> 00:44:36,880 Speaker 6: Boss and I had some good left. 956 00:44:37,120 --> 00:44:38,600 Speaker 4: I thought we were going the other way. I thought 957 00:44:38,600 --> 00:44:39,839 Speaker 4: we were going to be responsible. 958 00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:41,480 Speaker 6: Well, we don't know yet. We don't know yet. 959 00:44:41,800 --> 00:44:45,280 Speaker 7: Despite wanting to say no contact, today I finally responded 960 00:44:45,320 --> 00:44:48,560 Speaker 7: to my ex husband's text from yesterday. I wrote, weird, 961 00:44:48,640 --> 00:44:50,520 Speaker 7: you didn't change your billing address? 962 00:44:50,760 --> 00:44:51,680 Speaker 4: What Sofia was saying? 963 00:44:51,800 --> 00:44:54,560 Speaker 7: Yeah, That's what I'm saying. He texts Apple Bay still 964 00:44:54,640 --> 00:44:56,839 Speaker 7: is the old billing address? Then freaking change it, dude. 965 00:44:56,880 --> 00:44:59,000 Speaker 7: So I responded, it's been a year and he should 966 00:44:59,040 --> 00:45:01,520 Speaker 7: probably go through his account. And change his address. As 967 00:45:01,520 --> 00:45:03,960 Speaker 7: of last week, anything sent here for him should have 968 00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:08,720 Speaker 7: been returned to send her no response, and you should 969 00:45:08,960 --> 00:45:12,719 Speaker 7: respond that to us that you're gonna go listen to 970 00:45:12,800 --> 00:45:15,480 Speaker 7: full episodes of stories just like this. Just go to Spotify, 971 00:45:15,560 --> 00:45:17,920 Speaker 7: Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcast app in search. 972 00:45:17,800 --> 00:45:18,560 Speaker 6: Of bookay storytimes. 973 00:45:18,560 --> 00:45:19,560 Speaker 4: Please like, please. 974 00:45:19,280 --> 00:45:22,680 Speaker 7: Respond, please respond, Just tell us in the chat that 975 00:45:22,719 --> 00:45:27,880 Speaker 7: you're let's finish the story. To clarify, I do not 976 00:45:28,080 --> 00:45:30,320 Speaker 7: have his new address. He went through great lengths to 977 00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:32,640 Speaker 7: keep that secret since he lives with a fair partner, 978 00:45:32,680 --> 00:45:34,640 Speaker 7: so I can't file a change of address in his 979 00:45:34,760 --> 00:45:37,319 Speaker 7: place or forward his debt collection mail to him. He 980 00:45:37,400 --> 00:45:39,879 Speaker 7: used his mother's address in our legal documents, so she's 981 00:45:39,920 --> 00:45:42,600 Speaker 7: about to start getting a lot of collection mail. I 982 00:45:42,640 --> 00:45:44,879 Speaker 7: received the return to senders stamp this morning, and we'll 983 00:45:44,920 --> 00:45:48,080 Speaker 7: be sending everything back moving forward until the post office 984 00:45:48,080 --> 00:45:50,960 Speaker 7: gets there. I know this isn't as dramatic as hoped, 985 00:45:51,600 --> 00:45:52,960 Speaker 7: so sorry to disappoint. 986 00:45:53,440 --> 00:45:57,359 Speaker 6: As for the package, what package, No, we. 987 00:45:57,320 --> 00:46:00,239 Speaker 7: Don't know what that means. It means that return that 988 00:46:00,600 --> 00:46:02,000 Speaker 7: she could have just returned to Seton. 989 00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:07,880 Speaker 4: I'm disappointed. I'm not my husband is acting suspicious, so 990 00:46:07,920 --> 00:46:12,800 Speaker 4: I hired a private investigator. My husband, male forty seven, 991 00:46:12,840 --> 00:46:15,480 Speaker 4: and I female, forty four, have been married for just 992 00:46:15,719 --> 00:46:18,160 Speaker 4: over a decade, and it has been, for the most part, 993 00:46:18,320 --> 00:46:21,719 Speaker 4: a loving marriage centered around her two beautiful children. By 994 00:46:21,760 --> 00:46:23,880 Speaker 4: the way, this comes from you Dash Choice Evidence in 995 00:46:23,920 --> 00:46:25,640 Speaker 4: nineteen eighty three, and if you want to submit your 996 00:46:25,680 --> 00:46:28,120 Speaker 4: own stories, to go to Rokay Storytime. So I've read it, 997 00:46:28,200 --> 00:46:31,239 Speaker 4: so of course I've had grievances. He travels a lot 998 00:46:31,280 --> 00:46:33,840 Speaker 4: for work, is constantly glued to his phone, and sometimes 999 00:46:33,920 --> 00:46:37,560 Speaker 4: would abruptly pop out for Errand's quotes that he has 1000 00:46:37,600 --> 00:46:40,880 Speaker 4: always been incredibly vague about. I'm going to get eggs. 1001 00:46:41,120 --> 00:46:46,680 Speaker 7: Yeah, that's surname form it egg sounds hot eggs. 1002 00:46:47,960 --> 00:46:50,279 Speaker 4: Initially, they didn't concern me too much. He's a very 1003 00:46:50,280 --> 00:46:52,960 Speaker 4: demanding job that has allowed us to have a lifestyle 1004 00:46:53,000 --> 00:46:55,160 Speaker 4: I never thought possible, meant that I could leave work 1005 00:46:55,200 --> 00:46:57,400 Speaker 4: to be with children, to take us on wonderful holidays, 1006 00:46:57,400 --> 00:46:59,520 Speaker 4: send the children to a great school. I always felt 1007 00:46:59,520 --> 00:47:01,759 Speaker 4: that complaining to him about his work, phone, computer and 1008 00:47:01,840 --> 00:47:05,200 Speaker 4: random emergencies would be so selfish considering everything he does 1009 00:47:05,239 --> 00:47:07,880 Speaker 4: for us, it actually would just be healthy communication. However, 1010 00:47:07,920 --> 00:47:10,759 Speaker 4: two weeks ago I started getting really suspicious after I 1011 00:47:10,800 --> 00:47:13,640 Speaker 4: had found a love sock in the inside pocket of 1012 00:47:13,680 --> 00:47:16,319 Speaker 4: his blazer. There was no reason for him to have 1013 00:47:16,400 --> 00:47:19,160 Speaker 4: it there as we only have spicy sleep at home 1014 00:47:19,480 --> 00:47:22,120 Speaker 4: and frankly, it isn't something we do as often as 1015 00:47:22,120 --> 00:47:24,279 Speaker 4: we used to. This prompted me to do something I 1016 00:47:24,360 --> 00:47:26,520 Speaker 4: never thought I would do, but I found an opportunity 1017 00:47:26,560 --> 00:47:28,720 Speaker 4: to get into his phone when he wasn't looking. 1018 00:47:29,239 --> 00:47:29,800 Speaker 6: That's bad. 1019 00:47:30,040 --> 00:47:32,960 Speaker 4: We're going into we don't trust each other mode. 1020 00:47:33,080 --> 00:47:34,520 Speaker 7: The relationship's already over. 1021 00:47:34,719 --> 00:47:36,800 Speaker 4: I first looked at his photos but couldn't find anything. 1022 00:47:36,840 --> 00:47:39,640 Speaker 4: Then I thought I would check his messaging apps WhatsApp Telegram. 1023 00:47:40,160 --> 00:47:44,360 Speaker 4: Both were password locked. Only I message could be accessed, 1024 00:47:44,360 --> 00:47:46,279 Speaker 4: but there was barely anything there. At this point at 1025 00:47:46,360 --> 00:47:49,200 Speaker 4: a sinking feeling something was up. Last year, our friend 1026 00:47:49,239 --> 00:47:52,320 Speaker 4: was in a similar situation and use a digital investigator 1027 00:47:52,360 --> 00:47:55,840 Speaker 4: to learn more about her absent and secretive fiance. The 1028 00:47:55,920 --> 00:47:58,080 Speaker 4: investigator found out that this man had been living a 1029 00:47:58,120 --> 00:48:01,000 Speaker 4: complete double life with a law long term girlfriend in 1030 00:48:01,200 --> 00:48:04,080 Speaker 4: Edinburgh and unbelievably, a whole business he had set up 1031 00:48:04,080 --> 00:48:05,959 Speaker 4: and was earning money from. She had no idea about 1032 00:48:05,960 --> 00:48:07,600 Speaker 4: the business or all the money he was earning from 1033 00:48:07,640 --> 00:48:09,960 Speaker 4: it and no doubt spending oh on his girlfriend. I 1034 00:48:09,960 --> 00:48:12,439 Speaker 4: asked for the investigator's details and requested that they pull 1035 00:48:12,520 --> 00:48:15,480 Speaker 4: together anything and everything they could find about my husband. 1036 00:48:15,640 --> 00:48:18,360 Speaker 4: And so the investigator spent about a week digging online 1037 00:48:18,440 --> 00:48:20,760 Speaker 4: and came back to me with the report that changed 1038 00:48:21,400 --> 00:48:25,680 Speaker 4: my life wherever. I got a call from the investigator 1039 00:48:25,840 --> 00:48:28,799 Speaker 4: warning me that my husband's report would be a very 1040 00:48:29,680 --> 00:48:32,239 Speaker 4: difficult read and then I should open it in a 1041 00:48:32,280 --> 00:48:35,160 Speaker 4: private time when I would be able to process it fully. 1042 00:48:35,200 --> 00:48:37,799 Speaker 4: Since I received it, I have barely been able to eat, 1043 00:48:37,880 --> 00:48:40,520 Speaker 4: sleep properly, take care of the kids, or speak to him. 1044 00:48:40,520 --> 00:48:42,560 Speaker 4: And yet he is so absent minded he doesn't even 1045 00:48:42,600 --> 00:48:44,920 Speaker 4: realize something is wrong. It turns out that my husband 1046 00:48:45,000 --> 00:48:47,640 Speaker 4: of over ten years has been having an affair with 1047 00:48:47,680 --> 00:48:52,640 Speaker 4: the woman fifteen years junior, financing this woman's lifestyle and 1048 00:48:52,719 --> 00:48:57,879 Speaker 4: her failed business venture. Attended it would have been fine 1049 00:48:57,920 --> 00:49:00,839 Speaker 4: if it was successful, attending spicy sleep parties with her 1050 00:49:00,840 --> 00:49:03,920 Speaker 4: where they have spicy sleep with other partners. Posting in 1051 00:49:03,960 --> 00:49:08,160 Speaker 4: a revolting online spicy sleep forum, including pictures of his 1052 00:49:08,280 --> 00:49:13,200 Speaker 4: genitals and details his regular user into the internet videos 1053 00:49:13,239 --> 00:49:17,000 Speaker 4: of spicy people doing spicy acts and escorts to his 1054 00:49:17,120 --> 00:49:20,480 Speaker 4: creepy online friends. Based on these posts online has clearly 1055 00:49:20,480 --> 00:49:24,320 Speaker 4: been spending thousands on escorts as far back as seven 1056 00:49:24,960 --> 00:49:27,319 Speaker 4: years ago. I have no idea where to go from here. 1057 00:49:27,760 --> 00:49:29,880 Speaker 4: I don't know what to do. I have no idea 1058 00:49:29,880 --> 00:49:31,840 Speaker 4: how to confront him about this or if I should 1059 00:49:31,840 --> 00:49:34,640 Speaker 4: see a lawyer first. I know the obvious decision is 1060 00:49:34,680 --> 00:49:37,560 Speaker 4: to simply divorce. But our children are nine and seven, 1061 00:49:37,640 --> 00:49:40,520 Speaker 4: and I have loved him since we first met fourteen 1062 00:49:40,600 --> 00:49:42,359 Speaker 4: years ago, and I know that I have a place 1063 00:49:42,400 --> 00:49:45,000 Speaker 4: in his heart too. In spite of these actions. If 1064 00:49:45,000 --> 00:49:48,279 Speaker 4: he is truly a regular user of what then is 1065 00:49:48,320 --> 00:49:50,320 Speaker 4: there a way to get through this? If he agrees 1066 00:49:50,360 --> 00:49:53,680 Speaker 4: to treatment by user, does he mean like addiction to 1067 00:49:54,320 --> 00:49:58,319 Speaker 4: spicy and love? Yeah? I'm a complete mess and I 1068 00:49:58,320 --> 00:50:00,919 Speaker 4: can't talk about this to anyone in Parson just yet. 1069 00:50:01,000 --> 00:50:03,680 Speaker 4: Any advice you have for me would be really appreciated. 1070 00:50:03,840 --> 00:50:05,279 Speaker 4: We have some relevant comments. 1071 00:50:05,480 --> 00:50:08,560 Speaker 6: You have to divorce him, like it's not it's I 1072 00:50:08,600 --> 00:50:09,200 Speaker 6: don't think it. 1073 00:50:09,600 --> 00:50:10,480 Speaker 4: Or you can just join in. 1074 00:50:10,800 --> 00:50:12,719 Speaker 6: No, this man has. 1075 00:50:12,640 --> 00:50:15,400 Speaker 7: Been lying to you for seven seven. 1076 00:50:15,200 --> 00:50:17,799 Speaker 4: Years, at least seven years at least at least half 1077 00:50:17,960 --> 00:50:18,960 Speaker 4: the time you've known him. 1078 00:50:19,160 --> 00:50:21,920 Speaker 7: Yeah, just because you have you guys, have it? 1079 00:50:21,960 --> 00:50:23,920 Speaker 4: Does he needs to get tested for str. 1080 00:50:23,760 --> 00:50:26,279 Speaker 7: Absolutely, like, not only has he lied to you, but 1081 00:50:26,280 --> 00:50:27,640 Speaker 7: he has put your life in danger. 1082 00:50:27,880 --> 00:50:28,160 Speaker 4: Yeah? 1083 00:50:28,560 --> 00:50:33,920 Speaker 7: Uh and just yeah, I think that for your sake 1084 00:50:34,480 --> 00:50:37,960 Speaker 7: and for your kid's sake. Honestly, I don't think staying 1085 00:50:37,960 --> 00:50:40,680 Speaker 7: together would be the good, the best option for them 1086 00:50:40,800 --> 00:50:41,160 Speaker 7: or for you. 1087 00:50:41,320 --> 00:50:45,520 Speaker 4: Yeah. I can't imagine making this work. Yeah no, if 1088 00:50:45,840 --> 00:50:48,680 Speaker 4: you have it seems like there has been little communication 1089 00:50:49,239 --> 00:50:53,000 Speaker 4: marriage already. So if you're going from like zero to 1090 00:50:53,200 --> 00:50:57,880 Speaker 4: like ninja level communication to be able to repair this, 1091 00:50:58,480 --> 00:51:02,560 Speaker 4: like that's that might be a miracle. So it's not 1092 00:51:02,600 --> 00:51:06,520 Speaker 4: looking Yeah, like that is possible. All right. We have 1093 00:51:06,560 --> 00:51:09,640 Speaker 4: some relevant comments. Comments are one, do not confront him. 1094 00:51:09,680 --> 00:51:11,239 Speaker 4: Go see a high powered attorney to see how you 1095 00:51:11,239 --> 00:51:13,640 Speaker 4: can come out on top. A good lawyer will get 1096 00:51:13,719 --> 00:51:16,440 Speaker 4: him to cover services. Get your finances together, Get spousal 1097 00:51:16,440 --> 00:51:20,160 Speaker 4: support too for compensation the money spent on icy workers 1098 00:51:20,200 --> 00:51:24,120 Speaker 4: and affairs, child support, have him cover college for both children. 1099 00:51:24,200 --> 00:51:26,560 Speaker 4: Pay for all schooling and insurance till twenty six. Get 1100 00:51:26,560 --> 00:51:28,719 Speaker 4: the child tax credits for each year. Because of his 1101 00:51:28,800 --> 00:51:31,239 Speaker 4: chronic infidelity being the cause of the divorce. You can 1102 00:51:31,280 --> 00:51:33,080 Speaker 4: get more than half in the divorce unless you're in 1103 00:51:33,120 --> 00:51:35,000 Speaker 4: a no fault state. Also see if you live in 1104 00:51:35,040 --> 00:51:38,480 Speaker 4: a state where you can sue her for alienation of affection. 1105 00:51:38,880 --> 00:51:41,359 Speaker 4: Get tested asap. Let your lawyer guide you all what 1106 00:51:41,400 --> 00:51:43,319 Speaker 4: to do before you let him know. Also to see 1107 00:51:43,320 --> 00:51:46,160 Speaker 4: as many high powered attorneys, what about some lower powered 1108 00:51:46,160 --> 00:51:50,359 Speaker 4: attorneys like midpowered too. Maybe some myths as you can 1109 00:51:50,440 --> 00:51:52,960 Speaker 4: so you can have the best shark and cripple his 1110 00:51:53,040 --> 00:51:55,759 Speaker 4: ability to use them as a lawyer. Don't forget all 1111 00:51:55,800 --> 00:51:58,960 Speaker 4: of his assets, investments and retirement. You're going to ruin 1112 00:51:59,000 --> 00:51:59,600 Speaker 4: this man's life. 1113 00:51:59,640 --> 00:52:02,719 Speaker 7: You probably is, I mean, well, actually maybe not cheat, 1114 00:52:02,760 --> 00:52:03,520 Speaker 7: but this commentary is. 1115 00:52:03,520 --> 00:52:05,680 Speaker 4: This commentar is around this man's life as for a 1116 00:52:05,719 --> 00:52:10,080 Speaker 4: forensic financial audit for any hidden monies. Build him for everything, 1117 00:52:10,120 --> 00:52:12,680 Speaker 4: and do not leave the marri Well home, make slappy 1118 00:52:12,880 --> 00:52:15,600 Speaker 4: phallic item, move out. I'm sorry you're dealing with this, 1119 00:52:15,719 --> 00:52:17,880 Speaker 4: but you got to strike hard and be smart and 1120 00:52:17,960 --> 00:52:20,960 Speaker 4: don't silver line anything or take his word on anything. 1121 00:52:21,400 --> 00:52:23,880 Speaker 4: That is an approach from a person who seems to 1122 00:52:23,920 --> 00:52:25,759 Speaker 4: be very hurt by many people in their life. 1123 00:52:25,840 --> 00:52:28,120 Speaker 7: But maybe it's gone through some I don't know if 1124 00:52:28,120 --> 00:52:29,320 Speaker 7: a similar situation. 1125 00:52:29,000 --> 00:52:33,120 Speaker 4: But it might be the person offering this has been No, 1126 00:52:33,239 --> 00:52:36,360 Speaker 4: they've been screwed. It's either they've been screwed over in 1127 00:52:36,360 --> 00:52:38,160 Speaker 4: their life or they're a lawyer who wants to get hired. 1128 00:52:38,440 --> 00:52:41,239 Speaker 6: Exactly could be a lawyer? Is like you should find 1129 00:52:41,239 --> 00:52:42,880 Speaker 6: the best lawyer, the most expensive. 1130 00:52:42,520 --> 00:52:44,960 Speaker 4: Lawyer in the land, who I have some contacts. It's me, 1131 00:52:45,320 --> 00:52:48,920 Speaker 4: It's just me, it's me, all right, OPI thanks for this. Sadly, 1132 00:52:48,960 --> 00:52:51,480 Speaker 4: because we are in the UK, cheating doesn't have much 1133 00:52:51,480 --> 00:52:54,279 Speaker 4: of a bearing on divorce outcomes. However, my solicitor is 1134 00:52:54,320 --> 00:52:55,920 Speaker 4: among the best in the UK, and I trust that 1135 00:52:55,920 --> 00:52:58,359 Speaker 4: we are going to do some real damage. Commentary too. 1136 00:52:58,440 --> 00:53:00,680 Speaker 4: I'm sorry you're going through this. Please excuse me. How 1137 00:53:00,760 --> 00:53:03,200 Speaker 4: much does it cost the higher private investigator? 1138 00:53:03,400 --> 00:53:07,000 Speaker 6: Yes questions? 1139 00:53:07,120 --> 00:53:09,560 Speaker 4: Oh p hello, sorry to only be responding now. It 1140 00:53:09,640 --> 00:53:13,000 Speaker 4: costs only two hundred fifty pounds. That's surprising. 1141 00:53:13,320 --> 00:53:14,239 Speaker 6: Was per hour? Though? 1142 00:53:14,320 --> 00:53:18,120 Speaker 4: Like, what's the for an initial sweep? But this is 1143 00:53:18,160 --> 00:53:20,560 Speaker 4: also an online Yeah, but we also don't know how 1144 00:53:20,640 --> 00:53:23,000 Speaker 4: far private investigator. They're not like following him in a 1145 00:53:23,000 --> 00:53:24,280 Speaker 4: car with fineox. 1146 00:53:24,400 --> 00:53:25,880 Speaker 6: Yeah, that's less interesting. 1147 00:53:25,920 --> 00:53:28,239 Speaker 4: And then once some fishy things were found, I pay 1148 00:53:28,360 --> 00:53:30,279 Speaker 4: more for some additional hours of digging. All right, we 1149 00:53:30,280 --> 00:53:33,080 Speaker 4: have an update. Woo. First of all, I like to 1150 00:53:33,400 --> 00:53:36,360 Speaker 4: thank almost every single one of you who has commented 1151 00:53:36,360 --> 00:53:38,799 Speaker 4: to leave me advice or message me privately. I took 1152 00:53:38,800 --> 00:53:41,279 Speaker 4: a lot of advice on board, especially legally speaking, and 1153 00:53:41,320 --> 00:53:43,560 Speaker 4: this has proven to be a great benefit. I apologize 1154 00:53:43,600 --> 00:53:45,560 Speaker 4: for my long absence and lack of replies. I hope 1155 00:53:45,560 --> 00:53:47,719 Speaker 4: the update below can explain it. I chose to wait 1156 00:53:47,800 --> 00:53:49,920 Speaker 4: until after New Year's as I did not want to 1157 00:53:50,000 --> 00:53:52,680 Speaker 4: rob the children of one last Christmas and New Year's 1158 00:53:52,719 --> 00:53:54,560 Speaker 4: holidays of family. You've got to give them the best 1159 00:53:54,560 --> 00:53:57,600 Speaker 4: freaking Christmas in New Year's possible. They're like, oh my god, 1160 00:53:57,640 --> 00:53:59,640 Speaker 4: I've never got this many gifts, and you're like, that's 1161 00:53:59,680 --> 00:54:01,720 Speaker 4: because your father ruined our lives. 1162 00:54:01,840 --> 00:54:05,399 Speaker 7: Yeah, and make sure that like no, yeah, no, one, 1163 00:54:05,480 --> 00:54:07,560 Speaker 7: don't don't tell them right after Christmas. 1164 00:54:07,920 --> 00:54:09,839 Speaker 6: Give it at least like three weeks, maybe two weeks. 1165 00:54:09,960 --> 00:54:13,439 Speaker 4: Yeah. In the meantime, I researched solicitors and sought recommendations 1166 00:54:13,480 --> 00:54:18,160 Speaker 4: from trusted friends. Rather humilitatingly, I did, after much urging 1167 00:54:18,200 --> 00:54:20,719 Speaker 4: on this website, also schedule and go through with an 1168 00:54:20,800 --> 00:54:25,600 Speaker 4: STI test. Great. It was horrifically embarrassing. I am relieved 1169 00:54:25,640 --> 00:54:28,680 Speaker 4: to say that it came negative. Amazing, that's great. I 1170 00:54:28,719 --> 00:54:30,400 Speaker 4: don't know how I could have coped if he had 1171 00:54:30,400 --> 00:54:32,960 Speaker 4: got to me sick because of his revolting actions. Yeah, 1172 00:54:32,960 --> 00:54:36,960 Speaker 4: that would have added like a whole new layer onto everything. 1173 00:54:37,080 --> 00:54:39,520 Speaker 4: He made my job incredibly easy by flying out for 1174 00:54:39,880 --> 00:54:42,239 Speaker 4: in quotes work trip. Not that anything he says could 1175 00:54:42,239 --> 00:54:44,359 Speaker 4: ever be trusted. On the second and I immediately got 1176 00:54:44,360 --> 00:54:46,680 Speaker 4: the ball rolling, met with the solicitor, packed up all 1177 00:54:46,680 --> 00:54:50,000 Speaker 4: his belongings into six suitcases, had the locks change, and 1178 00:54:50,040 --> 00:54:52,439 Speaker 4: spoke to child psychologists to work out the best way 1179 00:54:52,480 --> 00:54:54,480 Speaker 4: to explain things to the kids, who is are far 1180 00:54:54,520 --> 00:54:56,799 Speaker 4: too young to understand the full picture. Of course, fast 1181 00:54:56,840 --> 00:54:59,560 Speaker 4: forward to a week later, and upon his return, I'm, 1182 00:54:59,600 --> 00:55:01,840 Speaker 4: having made sure that children were packed up by my 1183 00:55:01,920 --> 00:55:04,160 Speaker 4: mother after school, greeted him to a hallway full of 1184 00:55:04,200 --> 00:55:07,960 Speaker 4: suitcases and divorce papers. Okay, I'd printed out the report 1185 00:55:07,960 --> 00:55:10,200 Speaker 4: in full and started walking through it before he started 1186 00:55:10,200 --> 00:55:13,440 Speaker 4: breaking down in tears. It was a compulsion and he 1187 00:55:13,520 --> 00:55:16,279 Speaker 4: was unbelievably stressed, and that if I left him he 1188 00:55:16,320 --> 00:55:18,560 Speaker 4: would have no choice but to marry the other woman, 1189 00:55:18,680 --> 00:55:21,040 Speaker 4: whereas he would end it immediately if I were to 1190 00:55:21,080 --> 00:55:23,080 Speaker 4: take him back. This last part was truly the nail 1191 00:55:23,120 --> 00:55:25,080 Speaker 4: in the coffin. I don't think he even realizes how 1192 00:55:25,120 --> 00:55:27,759 Speaker 4: manipotal is that comment was to make. After hours of 1193 00:55:27,800 --> 00:55:30,200 Speaker 4: a back and forth and of his groveling, I gave up. 1194 00:55:30,239 --> 00:55:31,680 Speaker 4: He was left at the bottom of the stairs an 1195 00:55:31,800 --> 00:55:34,200 Speaker 4: entrance to our home with his suitcases, waiting for a 1196 00:55:34,239 --> 00:55:36,960 Speaker 4: cab to take him to god knows where. There was 1197 00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:39,920 Speaker 4: still a length, lengthy legal process ahead, and unfortunately it 1198 00:55:39,960 --> 00:55:43,160 Speaker 4: turns out that him being unfaithful etc. Doesn't really impact 1199 00:55:43,200 --> 00:55:46,200 Speaker 4: how assets might be divided following in the legal battle. However, 1200 00:55:46,239 --> 00:55:48,319 Speaker 4: I'm confident that my solicitor will get the outcome I 1201 00:55:48,320 --> 00:55:50,520 Speaker 4: need to keep the house and live independently. In terms 1202 00:55:50,520 --> 00:55:52,799 Speaker 4: of the children, I would rather not discuss them so 1203 00:55:52,880 --> 00:55:54,440 Speaker 4: as to keep it private. But it has been an 1204 00:55:54,480 --> 00:55:57,759 Speaker 4: incredibly difficult adjustment, and sometimes I do feel guilty. As 1205 00:55:57,840 --> 00:56:00,880 Speaker 4: for myself, I'm still completely heartbroken, and frankly I don't 1206 00:56:01,080 --> 00:56:04,400 Speaker 4: ever hope to find love again. You will, you will. 1207 00:56:05,239 --> 00:56:07,720 Speaker 4: I just don't think I could quite trust like that again. 1208 00:56:07,920 --> 00:56:10,719 Speaker 4: But you never have to lose your trust if you 1209 00:56:10,800 --> 00:56:13,279 Speaker 4: tune into full episodes with stories just like this. By 1210 00:56:13,280 --> 00:56:16,360 Speaker 4: going to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcast app 1211 00:56:16,520 --> 00:56:19,920 Speaker 4: and search. Okay, storytime, because we will renew your trust 1212 00:56:20,000 --> 00:56:22,640 Speaker 4: in relationships. Just kidding, we'll probably do the opposite because 1213 00:56:22,640 --> 00:56:24,400 Speaker 4: you're going to be hearing all these kind of stories. 1214 00:56:25,440 --> 00:56:27,680 Speaker 6: This is not the place for trust and relationships. 1215 00:56:27,760 --> 00:56:30,399 Speaker 4: Yeah. Finally, I'd like to just add that while most 1216 00:56:30,440 --> 00:56:32,480 Speaker 4: comments here have been lovely and supportive, I did get 1217 00:56:32,520 --> 00:56:35,200 Speaker 4: a number of comments and private messages blaming me for 1218 00:56:35,320 --> 00:56:37,759 Speaker 4: my soon to be ex husband's behavior, claiming I did 1219 00:56:37,760 --> 00:56:40,600 Speaker 4: not give him sufficient spicy attention and then I shouldn't 1220 00:56:40,640 --> 00:56:44,080 Speaker 4: complain because he provided me with a surtain lifestyle. Firstly, 1221 00:56:44,200 --> 00:56:45,840 Speaker 4: these comments are awful in a. 1222 00:56:45,840 --> 00:56:49,360 Speaker 5: Double life, you know, father by day and slinging it 1223 00:56:49,440 --> 00:56:50,439 Speaker 5: left and right by night. 1224 00:56:52,360 --> 00:56:55,320 Speaker 4: Finally, these comments are awful and betray a repulsive worldview 1225 00:56:55,360 --> 00:56:58,840 Speaker 4: with regards to spicy sleep, intimacy, and marriage. Secondly, our 1226 00:56:58,880 --> 00:57:01,800 Speaker 4: ailing spicy sleep life was not my doing and was 1227 00:57:01,840 --> 00:57:04,960 Speaker 4: at times a criticism I myself had of our relationship, 1228 00:57:05,000 --> 00:57:07,080 Speaker 4: not the other way around. Yeah, because he was having 1229 00:57:07,120 --> 00:57:08,279 Speaker 4: all the spicy sleep people want. 1230 00:57:08,440 --> 00:57:10,479 Speaker 7: He was going around and she was like, hey, what's 1231 00:57:10,520 --> 00:57:10,880 Speaker 7: going on? 1232 00:57:10,960 --> 00:57:11,160 Speaker 4: Man? 1233 00:57:11,239 --> 00:57:13,080 Speaker 6: He was like, I'm busy ye woods. 1234 00:57:12,760 --> 00:57:15,640 Speaker 4: Like, yeah, I'm I'm not rude because he already had 1235 00:57:15,680 --> 00:57:21,880 Speaker 4: like ten spicy sleep partners. Thirdly, just because someone fries 1236 00:57:21,920 --> 00:57:24,040 Speaker 4: you with a lifestyle doesn't entitle them to treat you 1237 00:57:24,080 --> 00:57:26,640 Speaker 4: as if you're nothing, because people don't own people with 1238 00:57:26,680 --> 00:57:28,680 Speaker 4: no respect and no honesty. I would have hoped all 1239 00:57:28,720 --> 00:57:31,520 Speaker 4: would be aware of that. Relevant comments coming to one 1240 00:57:31,680 --> 00:57:33,960 Speaker 4: affairs do matter. If you can account for all the 1241 00:57:34,000 --> 00:57:36,440 Speaker 4: money he spent on the other women, you deserve half 1242 00:57:36,520 --> 00:57:38,400 Speaker 4: of that and is often awarded in court because he 1243 00:57:38,440 --> 00:57:41,080 Speaker 4: spent marital money, which is half yours come through credit 1244 00:57:41,080 --> 00:57:44,760 Speaker 4: card and banying statements for hotel, restaurant gift purchases that 1245 00:57:44,840 --> 00:57:47,560 Speaker 4: you never received. This process is painful, but you deserve 1246 00:57:47,600 --> 00:57:49,760 Speaker 4: your half of everything he's spent on dating her. If 1247 00:57:49,760 --> 00:57:52,080 Speaker 4: you can't bring yourself to do it, hire someone who 1248 00:57:52,120 --> 00:57:55,320 Speaker 4: will hire the same pi. Yeah, like I got another 1249 00:57:55,400 --> 00:58:00,680 Speaker 4: job for you higher magnum pia Oh hom Sellic Tom Selleck. 1250 00:58:00,800 --> 00:58:03,120 Speaker 4: It can also be used as a powerful bargaining tool 1251 00:58:03,160 --> 00:58:04,680 Speaker 4: if he doesn't want other people to know what he 1252 00:58:04,720 --> 00:58:09,040 Speaker 4: did it commented two hours of groveling. What a sorry reaction. Anyways, 1253 00:58:09,080 --> 00:58:10,640 Speaker 4: I'm glad he didn't get you sick, and I hope 1254 00:58:10,680 --> 00:58:12,360 Speaker 4: the best for you and your kids as you move on. 1255 00:58:13,760 --> 00:58:16,200 Speaker 1: Sam here ogi host. We're gonna get back to these stories. 1256 00:58:16,200 --> 00:58:18,200 Speaker 1: But here's three minutes fads from our sponsors. 1257 00:58:18,200 --> 00:58:22,640 Speaker 7: First, my husband left our children unsupervised, but refuses to 1258 00:58:22,680 --> 00:58:27,280 Speaker 7: admit the reason why why he refuses to admit haang it. 1259 00:58:27,520 --> 00:58:30,439 Speaker 7: My husband is forty three and I'm thirty one. We've 1260 00:58:30,440 --> 00:58:33,400 Speaker 7: been married for seven years and have a five year 1261 00:58:33,440 --> 00:58:35,480 Speaker 7: old and a nine month old. My husband left her 1262 00:58:35,520 --> 00:58:38,400 Speaker 7: children alone and he refuses to admit to it or 1263 00:58:38,480 --> 00:58:42,080 Speaker 7: tell me where he was. I'm furious, enraged, and my 1264 00:58:42,200 --> 00:58:44,520 Speaker 7: husband keeps telling me I'm. 1265 00:58:44,360 --> 00:58:46,320 Speaker 6: Making a big deal about nothing. 1266 00:58:46,520 --> 00:58:48,680 Speaker 7: By the way, this comes from Suitable Mission seven four 1267 00:58:48,680 --> 00:58:50,160 Speaker 7: two two and if you want to spend your own stories, 1268 00:58:50,200 --> 00:58:53,360 Speaker 7: good our slash Okay Storytime separated. So this just happened 1269 00:58:53,360 --> 00:58:55,480 Speaker 7: this weekend. I'm on the board of directors for a 1270 00:58:55,520 --> 00:58:58,520 Speaker 7: local nonprofit organization. I had to attend an event for 1271 00:58:58,640 --> 00:59:01,400 Speaker 7: that organization this past Saturday, and I was gone for 1272 00:59:01,520 --> 00:59:02,080 Speaker 7: most of the day. 1273 00:59:02,160 --> 00:59:02,840 Speaker 6: My husband was. 1274 00:59:02,800 --> 00:59:05,960 Speaker 7: Supposed to be home with our kids. I texted him 1275 00:59:06,040 --> 00:59:08,880 Speaker 7: a few times and he responded. When I called around midday, 1276 00:59:09,080 --> 00:59:12,400 Speaker 7: he didn't respond, but that's not very unusual. Shortly after that, 1277 00:59:12,520 --> 00:59:14,880 Speaker 7: I got a call from my mom. She said my 1278 00:59:14,960 --> 00:59:16,840 Speaker 7: son had just called and when she asked him what 1279 00:59:16,880 --> 00:59:18,760 Speaker 7: he and his sister were doing, he said they were 1280 00:59:18,760 --> 00:59:21,360 Speaker 7: both watching TV. When she asked where their dad was, 1281 00:59:21,440 --> 00:59:24,160 Speaker 7: he said his dad wasn't there. My mom asked him 1282 00:59:24,280 --> 00:59:27,440 Speaker 7: several other questions, and from my son's responses, she believed 1283 00:59:27,480 --> 00:59:30,240 Speaker 7: he was telling the truth and that my husband wasn't there, 1284 00:59:30,400 --> 00:59:32,960 Speaker 7: and that there was no adult there at all. She 1285 00:59:33,040 --> 00:59:35,400 Speaker 7: said he didn't seem scared to be alone or worried 1286 00:59:35,400 --> 00:59:37,320 Speaker 7: about where his dad was at. He just called her 1287 00:59:37,360 --> 00:59:40,320 Speaker 7: to chat. He has a tablet designed for children with 1288 00:59:40,400 --> 00:59:43,120 Speaker 7: pre programmed contexts that he can call. It's only a 1289 00:59:43,160 --> 00:59:44,520 Speaker 7: few people, just family members. 1290 00:59:45,000 --> 00:59:46,840 Speaker 4: He's a resilient of five year old. You're like, yeah, 1291 00:59:46,920 --> 00:59:49,400 Speaker 4: dad's out, but you know, what's up with you? Grahammy. 1292 00:59:49,520 --> 00:59:52,040 Speaker 6: He's like, I'm doing pretty good. I'm holding a baby 1293 00:59:52,120 --> 00:59:52,440 Speaker 6: right now. 1294 00:59:53,200 --> 00:59:55,960 Speaker 4: We're fine. 1295 00:59:56,000 --> 01:00:00,680 Speaker 7: W I left the event immediately and began texting and 1296 01:00:00,720 --> 01:00:03,440 Speaker 7: calling my husband repeatedly. He didn't respond to my first 1297 01:00:03,480 --> 01:00:06,320 Speaker 7: several attempts. It took him about ten minutes. I was 1298 01:00:06,360 --> 01:00:09,760 Speaker 7: halfway home at that point to respond. I was so confused, 1299 01:00:10,160 --> 01:00:13,320 Speaker 7: so worried, really mad, and I asked him where he was. 1300 01:00:13,440 --> 01:00:15,320 Speaker 7: He said he was at home. I told him our 1301 01:00:15,360 --> 01:00:17,360 Speaker 7: son had just told his grandmother that he was a 1302 01:00:17,440 --> 01:00:21,160 Speaker 7: home alone with his baby sister watching TV about fifteen 1303 01:00:21,200 --> 01:00:23,440 Speaker 7: minutes ago. My husband denied it, and I told him 1304 01:00:23,480 --> 01:00:25,720 Speaker 7: I was too upset to talk and drive. When I 1305 01:00:25,760 --> 01:00:28,000 Speaker 7: got home, I checked on the kids right away and 1306 01:00:28,040 --> 01:00:31,120 Speaker 7: they were both fine. I asked my husband again, where 1307 01:00:31,400 --> 01:00:34,000 Speaker 7: was he? He said he was home the entire time. 1308 01:00:34,280 --> 01:00:36,320 Speaker 7: He didn't know what our son was talking about, but 1309 01:00:36,360 --> 01:00:38,480 Speaker 7: he must have just been confused since he had gone 1310 01:00:38,520 --> 01:00:40,680 Speaker 7: to the basement to do some laundry. I ran down 1311 01:00:40,720 --> 01:00:42,960 Speaker 7: to the basement. It was the same load of laundry 1312 01:00:43,000 --> 01:00:45,560 Speaker 7: I'd thrown in the dryer the night before. He didn't 1313 01:00:45,560 --> 01:00:48,080 Speaker 7: do any laundry when I was gone. I asked my 1314 01:00:48,160 --> 01:00:50,560 Speaker 7: husband why my son would be confused about whether his 1315 01:00:50,680 --> 01:00:52,959 Speaker 7: dad was home or not. Where in our home would 1316 01:00:52,960 --> 01:00:55,120 Speaker 7: he have gone? And for how long for our son 1317 01:00:55,160 --> 01:00:57,600 Speaker 7: to think his dad wasn't home. That doesn't make sense. 1318 01:00:57,680 --> 01:00:58,640 Speaker 6: With a five year. 1319 01:00:58,520 --> 01:01:00,400 Speaker 7: Old and a nine month old, you wouldn't leave them 1320 01:01:00,440 --> 01:01:02,919 Speaker 7: unattended that long. Why was he nowhere to be found. 1321 01:01:03,000 --> 01:01:04,880 Speaker 7: When my mom asked my son to go check certain 1322 01:01:04,880 --> 01:01:07,640 Speaker 7: areas of the house, I begged my husband to just 1323 01:01:07,760 --> 01:01:10,120 Speaker 7: admit it, to stop treating me like an idiot, and 1324 01:01:10,160 --> 01:01:12,680 Speaker 7: to stop accusing our son of lying. Just tell me 1325 01:01:12,760 --> 01:01:15,080 Speaker 7: the truth, because being lied to right to my face 1326 01:01:15,280 --> 01:01:19,040 Speaker 7: is so incredibly maddening. He insists he was home, but 1327 01:01:19,040 --> 01:01:21,440 Speaker 7: he can't come up with any believable story of where 1328 01:01:21,480 --> 01:01:23,880 Speaker 7: he was at or what he was doing that time. 1329 01:01:23,960 --> 01:01:25,480 Speaker 4: What does he says? 1330 01:01:25,720 --> 01:01:28,720 Speaker 7: Well, he's claiming that he was in the basement doing laundry. 1331 01:01:28,720 --> 01:01:31,040 Speaker 4: Okay, but is that story changing? Did she not say? 1332 01:01:31,080 --> 01:01:33,360 Speaker 4: But the load is the same load before? 1333 01:01:33,400 --> 01:01:34,080 Speaker 6: I said it was. 1334 01:01:34,080 --> 01:01:36,920 Speaker 7: The same load I'd thrown in the dryer the night before. 1335 01:01:37,080 --> 01:01:38,520 Speaker 6: He didn't do any laundry when. 1336 01:01:38,360 --> 01:01:38,680 Speaker 1: It was gone? 1337 01:01:39,520 --> 01:01:41,200 Speaker 4: Says what he's saying, He. 1338 01:01:41,200 --> 01:01:41,960 Speaker 6: Insists, who's home? 1339 01:01:42,000 --> 01:01:43,760 Speaker 7: The way he answers me when I ask him about 1340 01:01:43,800 --> 01:01:46,600 Speaker 7: this and demand truthful answers is so dismissive. When I 1341 01:01:46,600 --> 01:01:49,400 Speaker 7: tell him, you left her children alone, he quickly says, no, 1342 01:01:49,520 --> 01:01:54,920 Speaker 7: I didn't, So anyway, what I'm sorry, I mean, if 1343 01:01:54,960 --> 01:01:57,080 Speaker 7: someone's accusing you of that, if you didn't actually do it, 1344 01:01:57,080 --> 01:01:59,840 Speaker 7: you'd be like I swear, I was like, just like 1345 01:01:59,880 --> 01:02:02,160 Speaker 7: a I'm so sorry if you I'm so sorry that 1346 01:02:02,200 --> 01:02:05,000 Speaker 7: our son thought I wasn't there, and I'll make sure 1347 01:02:05,000 --> 01:02:06,680 Speaker 7: that I'm more like you would. 1348 01:02:06,560 --> 01:02:08,280 Speaker 6: Yeah, but it wouldn't just say so anyway. 1349 01:02:08,600 --> 01:02:11,640 Speaker 4: I'm not I'm not blaming Ope. But if a op 1350 01:02:11,800 --> 01:02:15,680 Speaker 4: is maybe screaming, which I understand she's upset, maybe it's 1351 01:02:15,760 --> 01:02:19,440 Speaker 4: just like, yeah, people deal with receiving a lot of 1352 01:02:19,520 --> 01:02:21,440 Speaker 4: charge and there. Maybe it's just like too much. It 1353 01:02:21,520 --> 01:02:23,240 Speaker 4: was like I was here, you know, any I can't 1354 01:02:23,240 --> 01:02:24,560 Speaker 4: deal with this. I don't know. 1355 01:02:24,880 --> 01:02:28,959 Speaker 7: Possibly, possibly I am convinced he was gone. We don't 1356 01:02:28,960 --> 01:02:30,840 Speaker 7: have a ring camera, but at least one of our 1357 01:02:30,880 --> 01:02:34,080 Speaker 7: neighbors does. I'm so upset about this that I'm tempted 1358 01:02:34,080 --> 01:02:36,040 Speaker 7: to ask our neighbor for the ring footage. I had 1359 01:02:36,080 --> 01:02:38,560 Speaker 7: to go out of my car and scream and cry 1360 01:02:38,720 --> 01:02:40,800 Speaker 7: because I got so upset. Of course, I didn't want 1361 01:02:40,800 --> 01:02:42,959 Speaker 7: my kids to see my reaction. I can't put into 1362 01:02:43,000 --> 01:02:45,000 Speaker 7: words how upset I am about the fact that I 1363 01:02:45,040 --> 01:02:47,280 Speaker 7: know he must have really left them alone, but have 1364 01:02:47,440 --> 01:02:49,760 Speaker 7: no proof, and I'm being treated like I'm just a 1365 01:02:49,800 --> 01:02:52,360 Speaker 7: paranoid nutcase of a mother slash woman. 1366 01:02:52,440 --> 01:02:52,800 Speaker 6: By him. 1367 01:02:54,520 --> 01:02:57,840 Speaker 4: I wasn't trying to be dismisses dismissive. I was trying 1368 01:02:57,880 --> 01:02:59,640 Speaker 4: to paint a whole picture of it. But I do 1369 01:02:59,760 --> 01:03:05,320 Speaker 4: want to say that you're upset and worried about your children, 1370 01:03:05,520 --> 01:03:10,320 Speaker 4: and you deserve for your anger to be received and 1371 01:03:10,400 --> 01:03:14,160 Speaker 4: to be assured for you to not be made crazy. 1372 01:03:14,320 --> 01:03:18,960 Speaker 7: And also it seems like potentially, when given that she 1373 01:03:19,120 --> 01:03:20,640 Speaker 7: just said she went to the car to go like 1374 01:03:21,000 --> 01:03:23,360 Speaker 7: scream and cry, I don't know how much of that 1375 01:03:23,520 --> 01:03:26,320 Speaker 7: was actually like that emotion was brought out when she 1376 01:03:26,360 --> 01:03:28,080 Speaker 7: was inside the house because she might have been wanting 1377 01:03:28,120 --> 01:03:30,280 Speaker 7: to keep it kind of cool for the kids. 1378 01:03:30,760 --> 01:03:31,680 Speaker 4: Oh so, so. 1379 01:03:31,640 --> 01:03:33,960 Speaker 6: It might not in all of that like anger and stuff. 1380 01:03:34,000 --> 01:03:35,840 Speaker 4: But also it seemed the way she was she was 1381 01:03:36,000 --> 01:03:37,120 Speaker 4: still making accusations. 1382 01:03:37,200 --> 01:03:37,520 Speaker 6: Yeah. 1383 01:03:37,840 --> 01:03:41,360 Speaker 7: Update last weekend, my husband left our five year old 1384 01:03:41,360 --> 01:03:44,000 Speaker 7: and nine month old home alone while I was gone 1385 01:03:44,080 --> 01:03:47,360 Speaker 7: and then refused to admit it or provide a plausible explanation. 1386 01:03:47,560 --> 01:03:50,280 Speaker 7: Since then, we've had many arguments about it. I've been 1387 01:03:50,280 --> 01:03:53,080 Speaker 7: living in a constant state of anger and frustration. I 1388 01:03:53,080 --> 01:03:55,200 Speaker 7: don't want to fight about it anymore, but I couldn't 1389 01:03:55,240 --> 01:03:57,880 Speaker 7: help it, and I kept bringing up again and again. 1390 01:03:57,960 --> 01:03:59,920 Speaker 7: I couldn't lay low and pretend to get over it 1391 01:04:00,120 --> 01:04:01,840 Speaker 7: while I waited for him to do it again and 1392 01:04:01,960 --> 01:04:04,040 Speaker 7: catch him in whatever was going on. I also knew 1393 01:04:04,080 --> 01:04:06,240 Speaker 7: that demanding he tell me the truth wasn't going to 1394 01:04:06,280 --> 01:04:08,840 Speaker 7: get me anywhere, since he'd been refusing to talk and 1395 01:04:08,880 --> 01:04:11,360 Speaker 7: deflecting for days. All it was doing was making me 1396 01:04:11,560 --> 01:04:13,560 Speaker 7: enraged and feel like I was about to have a 1397 01:04:13,600 --> 01:04:16,080 Speaker 7: brain aneurysm. I told him to hand me his phone 1398 01:04:16,120 --> 01:04:17,760 Speaker 7: so I could check his location at the time. 1399 01:04:17,760 --> 01:04:18,360 Speaker 4: He refused. 1400 01:04:18,440 --> 01:04:19,840 Speaker 7: He said he wouldn't do it and that it was 1401 01:04:19,840 --> 01:04:22,320 Speaker 7: a violation of his privacy. He won't be treated that 1402 01:04:22,320 --> 01:04:25,080 Speaker 7: way and refuses to give into my delusions. You think 1403 01:04:25,120 --> 01:04:27,080 Speaker 7: I enjoy being in a situation where I have to 1404 01:04:27,120 --> 01:04:29,120 Speaker 7: beg my husband to show me his phone so I 1405 01:04:29,120 --> 01:04:31,880 Speaker 7: can see where he was at. I hate it. I 1406 01:04:31,880 --> 01:04:34,040 Speaker 7: don't want to live that way. I told him it's simple. 1407 01:04:34,160 --> 01:04:36,360 Speaker 7: If he was really at home the entire time, just 1408 01:04:36,400 --> 01:04:38,160 Speaker 7: prove it. Why wouldn't you want to clear this whole 1409 01:04:38,160 --> 01:04:40,200 Speaker 7: thing up. I got so mad that he wouldn't turn 1410 01:04:40,240 --> 01:04:42,080 Speaker 7: over his phone that I told him I was going 1411 01:04:42,120 --> 01:04:44,479 Speaker 7: to the neighbors to get their doorbell footage. At first, 1412 01:04:44,480 --> 01:04:46,600 Speaker 7: he was like, fine, go do it. He didn't think 1413 01:04:46,640 --> 01:04:48,720 Speaker 7: I actually would. He knows I don't like to air 1414 01:04:48,800 --> 01:04:51,720 Speaker 7: drama to others, so he's probably figured I just swallow 1415 01:04:51,760 --> 01:04:53,200 Speaker 7: all of this crap he'd been giving me. 1416 01:04:53,800 --> 01:04:55,880 Speaker 4: So is this like the next door neighbor, Are they 1417 01:04:55,880 --> 01:04:59,240 Speaker 4: across the street and there is like? Are they going 1418 01:04:59,280 --> 01:04:59,920 Speaker 4: to get a direction? 1419 01:05:00,560 --> 01:05:00,720 Speaker 3: Yeah? 1420 01:05:00,760 --> 01:05:01,760 Speaker 6: I don't know, we'll say. 1421 01:05:02,000 --> 01:05:04,720 Speaker 7: Luckily, I was totally being driven by anger at this point, 1422 01:05:04,760 --> 01:05:06,600 Speaker 7: so nothing was going to stop me from going to this. 1423 01:05:07,040 --> 01:05:09,560 Speaker 4: I'm too anger for people. Please. 1424 01:05:09,680 --> 01:05:12,520 Speaker 7: Yeah, everyone can know as long as they have information. 1425 01:05:12,720 --> 01:05:14,640 Speaker 7: When I actually started to go out the door, he 1426 01:05:14,720 --> 01:05:16,800 Speaker 7: tried to stop me and followed me. At the door, 1427 01:05:16,880 --> 01:05:20,000 Speaker 7: I felt pure anger rushing through my veins, nothing else. 1428 01:05:20,160 --> 01:05:22,680 Speaker 7: The neighbor, who I probably said less than ten words 1429 01:05:22,720 --> 01:05:25,000 Speaker 7: to in the entire time we've lived here, told me 1430 01:05:25,080 --> 01:05:27,520 Speaker 7: he'd send me the footage. I went home told my 1431 01:05:27,600 --> 01:05:29,520 Speaker 7: husband that the neighbor didn't have the footage from that 1432 01:05:29,600 --> 01:05:30,240 Speaker 7: day anymore. 1433 01:05:30,800 --> 01:05:35,320 Speaker 4: Oh, Slytherina. 1434 01:05:35,760 --> 01:05:37,280 Speaker 6: Cunning and told him I just. 1435 01:05:37,240 --> 01:05:40,160 Speaker 4: Needed people too, guys, Well, that is it. 1436 01:05:40,360 --> 01:05:41,439 Speaker 6: Cunning is a Slytherin trade. 1437 01:05:41,480 --> 01:05:43,560 Speaker 4: We never said they weren't. This is just named a 1438 01:05:43,600 --> 01:05:46,000 Speaker 4: typical southerin trade. And now you're saying that, and now 1439 01:05:46,040 --> 01:05:50,360 Speaker 4: you're defensive. I'm defending the sly Slytherins. 1440 01:05:50,800 --> 01:05:52,440 Speaker 7: And told them I just needed to go to the 1441 01:05:52,480 --> 01:05:55,160 Speaker 7: store and cool off. So I put the kids in 1442 01:05:55,200 --> 01:05:57,520 Speaker 7: the car and went and parked somewhere while I waited 1443 01:05:57,520 --> 01:05:59,120 Speaker 7: for the neighbor to send me the footage. I have 1444 01:05:59,160 --> 01:06:01,320 Speaker 7: the neighbor's number now, and he told me if I 1445 01:06:01,360 --> 01:06:03,360 Speaker 7: need any more footage, he will be happy to. 1446 01:06:03,280 --> 01:06:03,720 Speaker 6: Give it to me. 1447 01:06:03,920 --> 01:06:07,960 Speaker 4: Conspiracy. Yeah, she's gonna start sleeping with the neighbor that is. Yeah. 1448 01:06:08,000 --> 01:06:09,880 Speaker 6: I was like, yeah, I'd be happy to give it 1449 01:06:09,920 --> 01:06:11,440 Speaker 6: to you. And also if you want to come and. 1450 01:06:11,560 --> 01:06:13,680 Speaker 4: Watch it, yeah, you can watch my cane on my 1451 01:06:13,720 --> 01:06:16,480 Speaker 4: TV or something with your glass of wine. And also 1452 01:06:16,960 --> 01:06:19,640 Speaker 4: I could watch the TV from the jacuzzie. Join me 1453 01:06:19,720 --> 01:06:23,360 Speaker 4: as we watched this footage. Her husband got a jacuzzie 1454 01:06:23,360 --> 01:06:25,600 Speaker 4: with a TV set up. Yeah, I would cheat on 1455 01:06:25,680 --> 01:06:26,360 Speaker 4: with this man too. 1456 01:06:26,880 --> 01:06:30,320 Speaker 7: The video shows a blue car that I don't recognize 1457 01:06:31,200 --> 01:06:35,640 Speaker 7: show up and park in our driveway. A blonde woman 1458 01:06:36,040 --> 01:06:38,600 Speaker 7: gets out of the car and goes towards my house. 1459 01:06:38,800 --> 01:06:41,120 Speaker 7: She walks on the outside of our garage towards the 1460 01:06:41,200 --> 01:06:43,840 Speaker 7: gate leading to our backyard. The gate is too far 1461 01:06:43,920 --> 01:06:45,400 Speaker 7: back and out of the way to be seen on 1462 01:06:45,440 --> 01:06:48,080 Speaker 7: the doorbell footage. She in her car were there for. 1463 01:06:48,040 --> 01:06:50,200 Speaker 4: Twenty twenty three minutes. 1464 01:06:50,400 --> 01:06:53,000 Speaker 7: Imagine that the car leaves right around the time that 1465 01:06:53,040 --> 01:06:54,920 Speaker 7: my husband called me to say he was home and 1466 01:06:55,080 --> 01:06:57,520 Speaker 7: had been home the entire time, as I was rushing 1467 01:06:57,600 --> 01:07:00,120 Speaker 7: home in a panic and calling him on repeat. One 1468 01:07:00,200 --> 01:07:02,959 Speaker 7: of two possibilities as to where they went. She either 1469 01:07:03,080 --> 01:07:04,840 Speaker 7: came in through the side door of the house, which 1470 01:07:04,880 --> 01:07:07,080 Speaker 7: does provide direct access to the basement, or and what 1471 01:07:07,160 --> 01:07:08,840 Speaker 7: I think is more likely, is that they were in 1472 01:07:08,880 --> 01:07:10,960 Speaker 7: the backmost area of our yard, which is a. 1473 01:07:10,920 --> 01:07:12,040 Speaker 6: Gated pool area. 1474 01:07:12,160 --> 01:07:14,800 Speaker 7: Immediately behind our house is a grass lawn, Then you 1475 01:07:14,800 --> 01:07:16,800 Speaker 7: step down a few steps and we have a pattiout, 1476 01:07:16,880 --> 01:07:19,160 Speaker 7: and then there's a fully gated area where the pool is. 1477 01:07:19,320 --> 01:07:19,960 Speaker 6: It's not like you. 1478 01:07:19,920 --> 01:07:22,080 Speaker 7: Think of when you picture a gated pool. It's a 1479 01:07:22,120 --> 01:07:24,920 Speaker 7: full six foot wood fence all the way around, plus 1480 01:07:24,960 --> 01:07:28,400 Speaker 7: even taller landscaping for added privacy. You can't see into 1481 01:07:28,400 --> 01:07:31,760 Speaker 7: that area at all unless you're inside. So, before we 1482 01:07:31,800 --> 01:07:34,080 Speaker 7: go any further, he was technically at. 1483 01:07:33,920 --> 01:07:36,640 Speaker 6: Home, thank you, cheating, but at home. 1484 01:07:36,800 --> 01:07:41,720 Speaker 4: Hey, this could be a coworker that needed help, private help, 1485 01:07:41,960 --> 01:07:46,160 Speaker 4: private help in the privacy in his pool. They were 1486 01:07:46,240 --> 01:07:47,280 Speaker 4: naked pool. 1487 01:07:47,640 --> 01:07:49,320 Speaker 6: And is that a crime? 1488 01:07:49,600 --> 01:07:52,120 Speaker 4: Is that a crime to help your naked friends? 1489 01:07:52,200 --> 01:07:52,800 Speaker 6: Regardless? 1490 01:07:52,880 --> 01:07:55,760 Speaker 7: Like he is at home, but he still was not 1491 01:07:56,240 --> 01:07:59,959 Speaker 7: watching a nine month old and that is a huge 1492 01:08:00,200 --> 01:08:03,040 Speaker 7: Just you just adding on to the fact that he's 1493 01:08:03,040 --> 01:08:05,760 Speaker 7: probably okay. I think it's more likely that they were 1494 01:08:05,800 --> 01:08:08,200 Speaker 7: back there because my son said his dad's keys were 1495 01:08:08,200 --> 01:08:10,560 Speaker 7: gone and we kept that gate locked with a key. 1496 01:08:10,640 --> 01:08:11,960 Speaker 7: The pool is closed for winter. 1497 01:08:12,400 --> 01:08:15,120 Speaker 4: But just Casandra sorry, says maybe he was doing the 1498 01:08:15,120 --> 01:08:19,759 Speaker 4: blonde laundry. Yeah, possibly, possibly, could be friends, just friends, 1499 01:08:20,200 --> 01:08:20,960 Speaker 4: but they're friends. 1500 01:08:21,000 --> 01:08:22,960 Speaker 7: But there is one building back there, sort of like 1501 01:08:23,000 --> 01:08:25,080 Speaker 7: a shed. We converted into a changing area. 1502 01:08:25,960 --> 01:08:27,799 Speaker 6: How freaking big is your house? 1503 01:08:28,160 --> 01:08:31,600 Speaker 7: And there is a covered patch they converted a I 1504 01:08:31,720 --> 01:08:32,840 Speaker 7: just change in that house. 1505 01:08:33,160 --> 01:08:35,040 Speaker 4: We're in a shed right now. 1506 01:08:35,240 --> 01:08:39,080 Speaker 7: Yeah, but that's different. We don't have a pool shed. 1507 01:08:39,360 --> 01:08:41,439 Speaker 7: The pool is closed for winter, but there is one 1508 01:08:41,479 --> 01:08:43,280 Speaker 7: small building back there, sort of like a shad. We 1509 01:08:43,320 --> 01:08:46,320 Speaker 7: converted changing area, and there is a covered patio with furniture. 1510 01:08:46,439 --> 01:08:50,479 Speaker 7: I'm convinced that's where they were. So technically he was oh, 1511 01:08:50,520 --> 01:08:52,720 Speaker 7: but in an area totally removed from the house and 1512 01:08:52,760 --> 01:08:54,320 Speaker 7: where he couldn't see or hear the kids. 1513 01:08:54,320 --> 01:08:57,120 Speaker 4: If something, yeah, that's yep. 1514 01:08:56,600 --> 01:08:59,599 Speaker 7: And the kids didn't know where he was incredibly dangerous 1515 01:08:59,600 --> 01:09:02,360 Speaker 7: again nine month old. I asked him how he could 1516 01:09:02,360 --> 01:09:04,960 Speaker 7: explain this. What were they doing? I obviously don't need 1517 01:09:05,040 --> 01:09:06,559 Speaker 7: him to tell me what they were doing, But for 1518 01:09:06,600 --> 01:09:09,759 Speaker 7: some reason I still had hope that he'd finally be honest. 1519 01:09:10,040 --> 01:09:15,360 Speaker 7: He wasn't contrite. He showed no remorse. He was just like, yeah, 1520 01:09:15,439 --> 01:09:18,200 Speaker 7: she was here, but I obviously never left. 1521 01:09:18,720 --> 01:09:21,400 Speaker 4: What's up with this guy? He's just like, yeah, but 1522 01:09:21,479 --> 01:09:22,519 Speaker 4: I didn't leave the house. 1523 01:09:22,680 --> 01:09:27,000 Speaker 7: We established I never left. 1524 01:09:27,680 --> 01:09:29,960 Speaker 4: I don't see why you're upset here. Yeah she did 1525 01:09:30,000 --> 01:09:33,920 Speaker 4: with her at the house house. I never lied. 1526 01:09:34,680 --> 01:09:36,880 Speaker 6: Who is she? How long has this been going on? 1527 01:09:37,040 --> 01:09:39,960 Speaker 7: And if he's going to be such a disgusting, despicable 1528 01:09:40,160 --> 01:09:42,599 Speaker 7: excuse of a man, then why couldn't he at least 1529 01:09:42,640 --> 01:09:45,280 Speaker 7: have found any other time and any other lie or 1530 01:09:45,479 --> 01:09:48,320 Speaker 7: excuse other than when he was home alone with our kids. 1531 01:09:48,439 --> 01:09:50,400 Speaker 7: I told him, I know this has happened before, and 1532 01:09:50,479 --> 01:09:52,800 Speaker 7: I demanded to know how many times he's done this 1533 01:09:52,880 --> 01:09:55,800 Speaker 7: when he's been alone with the kids. He swears this 1534 01:09:55,880 --> 01:09:59,160 Speaker 7: is the only time, and he's known for being incredibly truthful. 1535 01:09:59,479 --> 01:10:03,519 Speaker 4: Is not true this This woman did not come over 1536 01:10:03,560 --> 01:10:07,600 Speaker 4: for the first time and and do these acts in 1537 01:10:08,040 --> 01:10:12,200 Speaker 4: the shed. Wow, his kids were home and that that 1538 01:10:12,280 --> 01:10:16,400 Speaker 4: was the best time they could find for their first engagement. 1539 01:10:16,439 --> 01:10:19,160 Speaker 7: Yeah, no, that would be ridiculous. But he still doesn't 1540 01:10:19,200 --> 01:10:21,439 Speaker 7: have the balls to confess to what they were doing. 1541 01:10:21,439 --> 01:10:23,280 Speaker 7: I don't believe him that this was the only time. 1542 01:10:23,439 --> 01:10:23,799 Speaker 6: FYI. 1543 01:10:23,920 --> 01:10:26,400 Speaker 7: I still have so many questions, and I still feel 1544 01:10:26,400 --> 01:10:28,479 Speaker 7: like my heart is beating two hundred times a minute, 1545 01:10:28,520 --> 01:10:32,200 Speaker 7: my blood pressure is through the roof. I've cried a lot, sobbed, 1546 01:10:32,320 --> 01:10:35,080 Speaker 7: begged for someone to help me, yelled, screamed, ordered a 1547 01:10:35,120 --> 01:10:37,519 Speaker 7: bunch of books about divorce and custody. 1548 01:10:37,080 --> 01:10:37,559 Speaker 6: And you know what. 1549 01:10:37,880 --> 01:10:41,519 Speaker 7: The next day, after our multiple explosive fights, him putting 1550 01:10:41,520 --> 01:10:44,839 Speaker 7: his hands on me, whoa and me seeing the evidence, 1551 01:10:45,000 --> 01:10:46,800 Speaker 7: he acted like everything. 1552 01:10:46,439 --> 01:10:47,639 Speaker 6: Was totally normal. 1553 01:10:48,880 --> 01:10:50,000 Speaker 4: What's up, Wed? 1554 01:10:50,240 --> 01:10:50,439 Speaker 2: Yeah? 1555 01:10:50,600 --> 01:10:50,840 Speaker 7: Really? 1556 01:10:51,080 --> 01:10:52,040 Speaker 6: Anyway? Breakfast? 1557 01:10:52,120 --> 01:10:53,200 Speaker 3: You be hungry? 1558 01:10:53,360 --> 01:10:56,280 Speaker 4: Yeah? Any amount of like anything being off is like, 1559 01:10:56,360 --> 01:10:59,200 Speaker 4: this is ridiculous. She's like, how dare you cheat on me? 1560 01:10:59,240 --> 01:11:01,440 Speaker 4: And he's like, you're overreact? 1561 01:11:01,479 --> 01:11:02,280 Speaker 6: Yeah, what are you talking? 1562 01:11:02,400 --> 01:11:04,200 Speaker 4: What you can you, when's my breakfast? 1563 01:11:04,280 --> 01:11:04,519 Speaker 2: Righty? 1564 01:11:04,640 --> 01:11:07,240 Speaker 7: And like none of that stuff ever happened. I woke 1565 01:11:07,320 --> 01:11:11,320 Speaker 7: up still seething, exhausted, broken, and he's acting like everything's 1566 01:11:11,320 --> 01:11:11,880 Speaker 7: totally normal. 1567 01:11:12,040 --> 01:11:12,360 Speaker 6: He said. 1568 01:11:12,360 --> 01:11:14,679 Speaker 7: He was ordering breakfast to be delivered from our favorite 1569 01:11:14,680 --> 01:11:16,800 Speaker 7: breakfast place. He asked if I wanted to go to 1570 01:11:16,840 --> 01:11:19,200 Speaker 7: the store together later and try this new recipe for 1571 01:11:19,280 --> 01:11:21,360 Speaker 7: chili tonight. Why would I want to do any of 1572 01:11:21,400 --> 01:11:24,799 Speaker 7: these things with you now? Absolutely no acknowledgement of anything 1573 01:11:24,800 --> 01:11:26,719 Speaker 7: he's done or what's transpired between. 1574 01:11:26,560 --> 01:11:27,639 Speaker 6: Us in the past few days. 1575 01:11:27,800 --> 01:11:30,320 Speaker 7: He deserves an oscar for how well he was able 1576 01:11:30,360 --> 01:11:33,000 Speaker 7: to act like none of that happened, Completely comfortable and 1577 01:11:33,040 --> 01:11:33,639 Speaker 7: non faced. 1578 01:11:33,760 --> 01:11:35,120 Speaker 6: By the way, you can be. 1579 01:11:35,160 --> 01:11:40,080 Speaker 7: Comfortable knowing that we have full episodes just like this 1580 01:11:40,280 --> 01:11:42,479 Speaker 7: for you to listen to you on Spotify, Apple Podcasts 1581 01:11:42,560 --> 01:11:44,639 Speaker 7: or your favorite podcast app just search a focus story 1582 01:11:44,680 --> 01:11:48,360 Speaker 7: time and there is just a wee bit left of 1583 01:11:48,439 --> 01:11:48,880 Speaker 7: this story. 1584 01:11:49,080 --> 01:11:50,440 Speaker 6: But do you have any final thoughts? 1585 01:11:50,960 --> 01:11:54,200 Speaker 4: People are bringing up some like some interesting things. Okay, 1586 01:11:54,520 --> 01:11:56,120 Speaker 4: so scary to think about how often he may have 1587 01:11:56,200 --> 01:12:00,559 Speaker 4: left them on supervised sun seems pretty comfortable with the situation. Yeah, yeah, 1588 01:12:00,720 --> 01:12:03,200 Speaker 4: most five year olds would be like I see no 1589 01:12:03,280 --> 01:12:07,280 Speaker 4: parent in sight. That's really scary, and and he was 1590 01:12:07,320 --> 01:12:10,240 Speaker 4: just still with it. He was like, yeah, Grammy, yeah, 1591 01:12:11,320 --> 01:12:11,920 Speaker 4: but it's cool. 1592 01:12:12,200 --> 01:12:13,760 Speaker 7: It was in It might have been a situation where 1593 01:12:13,800 --> 01:12:15,400 Speaker 7: that I was like I'll be right back or something, 1594 01:12:15,479 --> 01:12:16,000 Speaker 7: and I was like. 1595 01:12:16,680 --> 01:12:17,559 Speaker 6: You know, and that went out. 1596 01:12:17,800 --> 01:12:20,479 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's possible. But there's just a lot of strange 1597 01:12:20,520 --> 01:12:23,880 Speaker 4: things about this, especially like what op is saying, how 1598 01:12:24,720 --> 01:12:27,840 Speaker 4: she's bring up his infidelity. This is this is wild, 1599 01:12:28,280 --> 01:12:31,439 Speaker 4: and he's just like is not He's not acting like that, 1600 01:12:31,840 --> 01:12:32,400 Speaker 4: and he's. 1601 01:12:32,240 --> 01:12:34,000 Speaker 6: Just acting like it doesn't matter. 1602 01:12:34,080 --> 01:12:36,600 Speaker 4: Yeah, he's he's which is just strange. 1603 01:12:36,680 --> 01:12:38,920 Speaker 6: Yeah, it's like, oh, I didn't cheat on you. It's 1604 01:12:38,960 --> 01:12:40,719 Speaker 6: just like, yeah she was here, okay. 1605 01:12:41,000 --> 01:12:44,680 Speaker 4: Yeah, just now remorse and curious, like what's going on 1606 01:12:44,800 --> 01:12:45,240 Speaker 4: with that? 1607 01:12:45,520 --> 01:12:46,760 Speaker 6: Mentally crazy. 1608 01:12:46,960 --> 01:12:48,720 Speaker 7: I know that it's a waste of my energy, but 1609 01:12:48,760 --> 01:12:51,320 Speaker 7: I just desperately want him to admit the full truth 1610 01:12:51,320 --> 01:12:53,280 Speaker 7: of what he did that day and any other day 1611 01:12:53,320 --> 01:12:55,400 Speaker 7: with this woman. I want to hear it from him. 1612 01:12:55,520 --> 01:12:57,960 Speaker 7: It won't change whatever he's done, but he could at 1613 01:12:58,040 --> 01:13:00,599 Speaker 7: least have the respect and decency to be honest now 1614 01:13:00,640 --> 01:13:03,200 Speaker 7: that he's been caught. That's a ridiculous thought, though, right, 1615 01:13:03,720 --> 01:13:06,120 Speaker 7: How foolish of me to expect this man to show 1616 01:13:06,200 --> 01:13:09,040 Speaker 7: decency and honesty. Now, if he was a decent and 1617 01:13:09,120 --> 01:13:11,759 Speaker 7: honest man, then he wouldn't have had a strange woman 1618 01:13:11,840 --> 01:13:13,840 Speaker 7: over to our house and been out of sight from 1619 01:13:13,840 --> 01:13:14,519 Speaker 7: our kids for. 1620 01:13:14,479 --> 01:13:15,400 Speaker 6: Twenty three minutes. 1621 01:13:15,560 --> 01:13:18,920 Speaker 7: His continued denial and refusal to admit to anything other 1622 01:13:18,960 --> 01:13:21,720 Speaker 7: than the bare minimum, his attitude like I'm somehow being 1623 01:13:21,760 --> 01:13:24,639 Speaker 7: controlling or infringing on his rights by asking for information 1624 01:13:24,920 --> 01:13:27,880 Speaker 7: that's almost more hurtful than him cheating on That is 1625 01:13:27,920 --> 01:13:28,800 Speaker 7: the end of that's right,