WEBVTT - Amy’s Weird Money Hack, Sleep Tricks, and One Question That Changes Everything 0:00:03.160 --> 0:00:04.680 All right, break it down. 0:00:05.320 --> 0:00:08.680 If you ever have feelings that you just fonts Amy 0:00:08.840 --> 0:00:13.000 and Cat gotcha Cob and locking them brother ladies and felts. 0:00:13.640 --> 0:00:16.720 We just follow the spirit where it's tell us O 0:00:16.840 --> 0:00:20.639 real stuff to the chill stuff and the m but Swayne, 0:00:21.280 --> 0:00:23.440 sometimes the best thing you can do it. 0:00:23.560 --> 0:00:25.800 Just stop you feel things. 0:00:27.040 --> 0:00:29.320 This is feeling things with Amy and Kat. 0:00:29.440 --> 0:00:32.360 Happy Tuesday. Welcome to feeling things. I'm Amy, I'm Cat, 0:00:32.720 --> 0:00:35.960 and we have a little something special for everybody today. 0:00:36.000 --> 0:00:38.440 We've never done this before, never, never, first time. No, 0:00:39.080 --> 0:00:41.600 we have a hybrid situation fusion. Ah. 0:00:41.720 --> 0:00:43.040 Yeah, we don't really know what. 0:00:43.040 --> 0:00:46.200 We're calling it, but it's when it's like if Feeling 0:00:46.240 --> 0:00:47.519 of the day and Email of. 0:00:47.440 --> 0:00:48.479 The Day had a baby. 0:00:48.720 --> 0:00:49.440 That's what we're doing. 0:00:49.960 --> 0:00:51.720 And we don't know how to combine the songs, so 0:00:51.720 --> 0:00:54.920 we're just going to sing them both. So get ready 0:00:55.040 --> 0:01:01.320 for our feeling of a day mixed with our Email 0:01:02.200 --> 0:01:05.760 of the day. Okay, the reason why our feeling of 0:01:05.800 --> 0:01:07.520 the day and our Email the day had a little 0:01:07.560 --> 0:01:11.040 baby is because we got this email from Autumn and 0:01:11.120 --> 0:01:14.200 she is responding to a couch talk. So that with 0:01:14.360 --> 0:01:18.319 sin in we already aired it from McKenzie. She's pregnant 0:01:18.480 --> 0:01:22.040 and she's just feeling a little like um, not as 0:01:22.120 --> 0:01:24.880 excited as she thought she would feel, and she was 0:01:24.880 --> 0:01:29.080 feeling a little weird about that. And this has happened 0:01:29.080 --> 0:01:32.000 before too. It's not just with Autumn and McKenzie, but 0:01:32.080 --> 0:01:35.760 other people have emailed in to give advice or feedback 0:01:35.880 --> 0:01:39.600 or thoughts to other couch Talks things which couch Talks 0:01:39.640 --> 0:01:40.480 airs on Thursday. 0:01:40.720 --> 0:01:43.520 This is feeling things we do. This is our big show. 0:01:43.720 --> 0:01:47.960 Welcome to the Big Show on Tuesdays. And I love 0:01:47.960 --> 0:01:52.760 the emails that we get that are supporting our other listeners, 0:01:52.960 --> 0:01:57.920 and that for Kat and myself just helps it feel 0:01:57.960 --> 0:02:00.000 more like a community, which is what we're trying to build. 0:02:00.200 --> 0:02:02.680 We want y'all to all feel connected, even though you're 0:02:02.720 --> 0:02:05.960 listening in different places all over the world. 0:02:07.040 --> 0:02:07.760 All over the world. 0:02:08.120 --> 0:02:10.640 I was gonna say country, but then I feel like 0:02:10.680 --> 0:02:14.000 we do have one listener in Nigeria. Really, I think 0:02:14.040 --> 0:02:16.400 I saw that probably one in the UK, or we 0:02:16.440 --> 0:02:18.160 had yeah, we have Canada, we have UK, we have 0:02:18.520 --> 0:02:21.760 more obvious countries. But when I saw a listener in Nigeria, 0:02:21.880 --> 0:02:23.600 I was like, interesting. 0:02:23.240 --> 0:02:26.560 Wait, could that just be like a listener from Oklahoma 0:02:26.600 --> 0:02:27.560 that traveled to Nigeria. 0:02:27.919 --> 0:02:32.440 Yes likely Yes, maybe they were just there on a 0:02:32.520 --> 0:02:37.239 trip and they downloaded it, or this they moved there 0:02:37.280 --> 0:02:44.040 on their missionary or they're deployed somewhere in Africa worldwide. 0:02:44.240 --> 0:02:50.000 This a three or five? All right? So, uh, the 0:02:50.120 --> 0:02:53.400 feeling of the day is supported and it's because of 0:02:53.440 --> 0:02:55.160 this email we got from autumn. 0:02:55.200 --> 0:02:56.799 So do you see how we just had. 0:02:56.680 --> 0:03:02.040 A baby we merged? Here's the email that Auto sent in. Hey, 0:03:02.080 --> 0:03:05.359 Amy and kat I listened to the couch talks about 0:03:05.440 --> 0:03:09.240 McKenzie navigating feelings around a new pregnancy. I related to 0:03:09.320 --> 0:03:12.560 many of those feelings in her circumstances. I'm also a 0:03:12.600 --> 0:03:15.639 military family and a mom with a busy career. Something 0:03:15.639 --> 0:03:18.200 that helped me get through my fears early in pregnancy 0:03:18.320 --> 0:03:22.520 was the following quote, what's the best that could happen? 0:03:23.320 --> 0:03:26.519 My brain often jumps straight to the worst case scenarios 0:03:26.520 --> 0:03:27.320 and all the things. 0:03:27.200 --> 0:03:28.120 That could go wrong. 0:03:28.639 --> 0:03:31.919 That quote, which I guess is also a question, is 0:03:31.960 --> 0:03:36.720 a nice reminder that things can also go right. Love y'all, 0:03:37.560 --> 0:03:39.720 So what's the best that could happen? I love it, 0:03:39.760 --> 0:03:41.800 and I love that she sent that in for Mackenzie. 0:03:41.840 --> 0:03:43.400 And I love that we get to share it here 0:03:44.000 --> 0:03:49.080 on the big show and that we're all feeling supported. 0:03:49.120 --> 0:03:53.400 Hopefully Mackenzie hears that and she feels supported. I feel supported. 0:03:53.560 --> 0:03:54.440 I feel supported. 0:03:54.520 --> 0:03:56.200 Yeah, we all feel supported. 0:03:56.280 --> 0:03:59.480 And this reminds me and made me think about how 0:03:59.560 --> 0:04:03.320 even in training as a therapist, we're taught to ask 0:04:03.400 --> 0:04:06.520 what's the worst that can happen? When somebody's struggling with something, 0:04:06.600 --> 0:04:08.600 we help them, Well, what's the worst that can happen? Like, 0:04:08.680 --> 0:04:12.360 let's go through that, versus framing their mind more towards 0:04:12.360 --> 0:04:16.160 the things that could go right. And that's something I've 0:04:16.160 --> 0:04:20.000 had to work on as a therapist. Maybe in like 0:04:20.040 --> 0:04:25.159 twenty seventeen, I had a client who she was younger, 0:04:25.200 --> 0:04:28.440 maybe like sixteen seventeen, and she would come in every 0:04:28.480 --> 0:04:33.159 single week and she had a hard life. She had 0:04:34.240 --> 0:04:38.680 a really rough home situation, struggling in school with some things, 0:04:38.720 --> 0:04:41.520 struggling with some body image stuff. And every week when 0:04:41.520 --> 0:04:43.200 she would come in, I would ask her like, how 0:04:43.200 --> 0:04:46.040 are these things going that she was struggling with? And 0:04:46.360 --> 0:04:49.279 it would always be really negative, and she would always 0:04:49.320 --> 0:04:53.719 be really solemn and very depressed, And I noticed myself 0:04:54.040 --> 0:04:58.440 getting frustrated as a therapist, which for me was a 0:04:58.480 --> 0:05:01.480 red flag of I'm supposed I have this positive regard 0:05:01.520 --> 0:05:04.280 for my clients and I shouldn't have this dread when 0:05:04.320 --> 0:05:07.440 I see a client on my schedule because she's not 0:05:07.480 --> 0:05:12.080 getting better or not getting sick of hearing what she's saying. 0:05:12.120 --> 0:05:13.880 But I'm just like, oh, frustrated. 0:05:14.680 --> 0:05:18.800 So I was like, Okay, what are you doing over 0:05:18.800 --> 0:05:21.560 and over and again that's not working and kind of 0:05:21.600 --> 0:05:24.240 how can you shift them? So one day she came 0:05:24.279 --> 0:05:26.520 in before I asked her like, how are things going? 0:05:26.520 --> 0:05:28.040 And we did our thing where I was like, how 0:05:28.040 --> 0:05:29.560 are things with your dad? And she was like, I 0:05:29.600 --> 0:05:33.400 hate them. I said, I'm not going to ask you 0:05:33.440 --> 0:05:35.520 about any of those things. I have a different question. 0:05:35.839 --> 0:05:39.080 She said, okay. I said, is anything going well for you? 0:05:39.880 --> 0:05:42.840 Is there anything about your life that you like? And 0:05:43.120 --> 0:05:45.560 she kind of just like looked at me funny, and 0:05:45.600 --> 0:05:51.799 I was like, shit, okay and she was actually yes, 0:05:52.320 --> 0:05:53.240 and I said okay. 0:05:53.360 --> 0:05:55.040 And she did a lot of art. 0:05:55.080 --> 0:05:56.919 She was an artist, and a lot of things that 0:05:56.920 --> 0:05:59.640 we talked about she would ask to draw them or 0:05:59.680 --> 0:06:01.960 paint and so she said can I show you instead 0:06:01.960 --> 0:06:02.279 of tell you? 0:06:02.279 --> 0:06:02.919 And I said okay. 0:06:03.440 --> 0:06:06.320 So She got out my butcher paper and all like 0:06:06.440 --> 0:06:09.120 that art supplies, and she had me turn my back 0:06:09.160 --> 0:06:11.080 so I couldn't see it until she was done, so 0:06:11.120 --> 0:06:13.520 I couldn't be peeking. So I turned my back for 0:06:13.560 --> 0:06:15.480 like twenty minutes, and then she said, okay, I'm done, 0:06:16.120 --> 0:06:19.680 and I turned around and I still have this. I 0:06:19.760 --> 0:06:22.719 kept it this like mural. It was on like big 0:06:22.800 --> 0:06:25.320 butcher paper. It was this mural of this girl and 0:06:25.360 --> 0:06:28.880 then all of these things around her that she liked 0:06:28.920 --> 0:06:31.400 about herself, and I just kind of dropped. 0:06:31.440 --> 0:06:33.000 My job kind of just dropped. I was like, what 0:06:33.200 --> 0:06:33.640 is this? 0:06:34.640 --> 0:06:36.559 And then she started telling me about all these things. 0:06:36.560 --> 0:06:38.440 If I like this, and I like this, and this 0:06:38.480 --> 0:06:40.920 is going really well, and this is part of even 0:06:41.520 --> 0:06:42.920 there are even parts of her body which she was 0:06:42.960 --> 0:06:45.400 struggling with body image, and she had an eating disorder, 0:06:45.400 --> 0:06:47.320 and there are parts of her own body that I 0:06:47.360 --> 0:06:50.960 had no idea that she really liked. And so she 0:06:51.279 --> 0:06:53.280 told me all about it. And then I looked at 0:06:53.279 --> 0:06:56.880 her and I said, why have you never told me 0:06:56.960 --> 0:06:57.680 about any of. 0:06:57.640 --> 0:07:00.080 This stuff in your life? And she. 0:07:01.720 --> 0:07:04.680 Kind of paused. I wish I knew more about what 0:07:04.720 --> 0:07:07.960 she was thinking, but she just paused. And she said, well, 0:07:08.080 --> 0:07:11.960 because you've never asked me oh, And I. 0:07:11.800 --> 0:07:18.360 Was like wow, yeah, I said, okay, you are right, 0:07:18.600 --> 0:07:20.720 I have never asked you about what you like about it. 0:07:21.200 --> 0:07:23.560 That was eye opening for me as a therapist. 0:07:23.600 --> 0:07:24.960 I'll probably changed you. 0:07:25.240 --> 0:07:28.520 Yes, I never asked her once what she liked about 0:07:28.520 --> 0:07:31.520 her life. I only focused on the things that weren't 0:07:31.560 --> 0:07:33.320 going well, and a lot of those things were out 0:07:33.320 --> 0:07:35.080 of her control, like she can't control her mom, she 0:07:35.080 --> 0:07:37.200 can't control her dad, she can't control people at school, 0:07:38.280 --> 0:07:40.800 versus what do you like? And what would happen if 0:07:40.840 --> 0:07:45.880 we started focusing on those things? And it made me think, yeah, 0:07:45.920 --> 0:07:49.720 the questions we ask are going to impact how we 0:07:49.840 --> 0:07:50.920 view things. 0:07:50.600 --> 0:07:51.280 And where we go. 0:07:51.920 --> 0:07:55.120 So rather than always asking, well, what's the worst that 0:07:55.160 --> 0:07:58.800 can happen, what's the best that could happen in this situation? 0:07:59.720 --> 0:08:01.400 And I also just a remind her too of how 0:08:01.400 --> 0:08:04.720 we're interacting with people of like the questions we're asking them, 0:08:05.200 --> 0:08:08.240 because like, yeah, whatever y'all were focusing on in therapy, 0:08:08.280 --> 0:08:11.280 that was the version of her. You were gettings and 0:08:11.320 --> 0:08:13.560 you were starting to be like, oh, yeah, I'm kind 0:08:13.560 --> 0:08:16.400 of dreading this. So even in our relationships because Not 0:08:16.440 --> 0:08:19.679 all of us are therapists, right, most of us aren't. 0:08:20.400 --> 0:08:24.160 But in our friendships or our partnerships or our work relationships, 0:08:24.200 --> 0:08:26.600 like what are we doing to kind of lead conversation 0:08:26.800 --> 0:08:29.680 and things we may be frustrated with when it comes 0:08:29.680 --> 0:08:31.440 to other people, it's like, oh, wait, how have we 0:08:31.480 --> 0:08:33.920 contributed to that? Yeah, by the questions we're asking. 0:08:34.280 --> 0:08:37.160 Yeah, we get stuck in the same routine, the same stuff, 0:08:37.559 --> 0:08:41.000 and I still have to I love that that story 0:08:41.200 --> 0:08:44.280 is embedded in my brain forever because that still happens 0:08:44.280 --> 0:08:46.240 where I get stuck in kind of a cycle with 0:08:46.280 --> 0:08:48.880 a client or a friend or somebody, Like, wait a second, 0:08:49.000 --> 0:08:50.920 I keep doing the same thing. So part of this 0:08:51.040 --> 0:08:53.560 is on me. If I keep asking somebody the same 0:08:53.640 --> 0:08:56.760 question about the same thing that they don't have control over, 0:08:56.840 --> 0:08:59.360 I'm probably going to keep getting the same answer. So 0:08:59.400 --> 0:09:01.800 if we shift star vision a little bit, this might 0:09:01.840 --> 0:09:04.200 still be going on. But other things are happening too, 0:09:04.880 --> 0:09:08.200 And it's not to like because I think sometimes bad, Yes, 0:09:08.240 --> 0:09:10.320 bad things are happening, and it's fair to be able 0:09:10.360 --> 0:09:12.600 to process that and feel that. But it's being able 0:09:12.600 --> 0:09:15.320 to hold both of those things. I didn't change her 0:09:15.320 --> 0:09:17.920 relationship with her dad but we did spend more time 0:09:17.920 --> 0:09:20.200 focusing on the relationships in her life that were really good, 0:09:20.720 --> 0:09:23.600 and that shifted the way she felt walking around. 0:09:23.720 --> 0:09:24.120 Mm hmm. 0:09:24.880 --> 0:09:27.839 Yeah, it reminds me of a conversation I just had 0:09:27.880 --> 0:09:31.080 with my boyfriend. It's a little different, but it reminds 0:09:31.120 --> 0:09:33.599 me of it. So he was traveling and going to 0:09:33.600 --> 0:09:35.240 the airport and I was on the phone with him, 0:09:35.760 --> 0:09:37.800 and right when he got to where he parks and 0:09:37.840 --> 0:09:40.360 like takes the shuttle, he was like, oh. 0:09:39.920 --> 0:09:41.520 The shuttle isn't here. 0:09:42.280 --> 0:09:45.080 And then once the shuttle got there and he got 0:09:45.120 --> 0:09:47.080 to there, but he's like, oh my gosh, remind me 0:09:47.160 --> 0:09:49.480 to never travel on this day at this time again 0:09:49.600 --> 0:09:53.760 because it is just crazy. And then he's like, oh 0:09:53.840 --> 0:09:56.000 my god. Like it was like four things. 0:09:55.760 --> 0:09:56.280 In a row. 0:09:56.360 --> 0:10:00.880 And he's not a negative person, but I happened to 0:10:00.880 --> 0:10:04.760 be in a very like positive mood, and so I 0:10:04.880 --> 0:10:08.520 just I didn't want to be impacted by his negativeness. 0:10:08.720 --> 0:10:10.679 Which I can do that too. I mean I can 0:10:10.840 --> 0:10:12.959 rattle off four things that I'm annoyed about in a row. 0:10:13.000 --> 0:10:15.360 So it wasn't about me being better. It's just like, 0:10:15.480 --> 0:10:19.000 in that moment, I realized, like, whoa you're being that way, 0:10:19.000 --> 0:10:22.400 and I don't. I don't want to soak up any 0:10:22.440 --> 0:10:25.320 of that type of energy, so let's reset. I was like, so, 0:10:25.400 --> 0:10:28.439 tell me, is there anything that's going right this morning, 0:10:28.520 --> 0:10:29.760 like before you're traveling? 0:10:30.559 --> 0:10:32.760 And he was like, oh, well, I didn't feel like 0:10:32.800 --> 0:10:33.679 that stuff was really bad. 0:10:33.720 --> 0:10:35.200 I said, I know it doesn't seem that way, but 0:10:35.320 --> 0:10:37.200 I'm over here with this different energy and you're just 0:10:37.240 --> 0:10:39.079 like ping ping ping ping, which I know you're getting 0:10:39.080 --> 0:10:40.600 ready to leave the country and this is a lot 0:10:40.640 --> 0:10:43.520 and it can be overwhelming, but let's can we focus on, like, 0:10:44.080 --> 0:10:46.079 just tell me something that's going right for you right now? 0:10:46.440 --> 0:10:47.000 And then that. 0:10:47.040 --> 0:10:49.400 Helped sort of reset us. And I would want him 0:10:49.400 --> 0:10:50.880 to do the same thing for me, like if I 0:10:51.080 --> 0:10:55.280 was the one noticing negative things around me, Like could 0:10:55.320 --> 0:10:58.319 he pause and say, okay, can you tell me something 0:10:58.360 --> 0:10:59.920 that's going right? 0:11:00.720 --> 0:11:02.600 Is anything and there's a finesse to it? 0:11:02.720 --> 0:11:02.920 Right? 0:11:03.160 --> 0:11:04.240 It's a finesse. 0:11:04.400 --> 0:11:04.840 A finesse. 0:11:04.920 --> 0:11:05.880 Oh I like that word. 0:11:06.000 --> 0:11:08.880 I don't know that I mean, because remember how I 0:11:08.880 --> 0:11:10.840 don't know that I've ever used finesse other than like, 0:11:10.920 --> 0:11:13.560 isn't that a hairspray finesse? 0:11:14.160 --> 0:11:14.319 Is it? 0:11:14.840 --> 0:11:15.920 Trust? Trust? 0:11:16.280 --> 0:11:19.600 Finesse is that different? Maybe it's part of a tagline. 0:11:21.160 --> 0:11:26.840 Finesse means no, finesse like yeah, like a smoothness to it. 0:11:26.880 --> 0:11:28.920 There's a dance to it. There's a way to do it. 0:11:28.920 --> 0:11:31.120 It's got to be a tagline for a hair product. 0:11:31.520 --> 0:11:33.439 I don't know, okay, but there's a finesse. 0:11:33.520 --> 0:11:33.959 I like it. 0:11:34.080 --> 0:11:35.120 I'm going to start using it. 0:11:35.120 --> 0:11:36.520 It start word of the day. 0:11:38.000 --> 0:11:39.320 Shannon will find us the definition. 0:11:40.440 --> 0:11:42.120 Also, I want to know what commercial it's been in. 0:11:42.679 --> 0:11:45.600 But this, but this is reminding me how I think 0:11:45.640 --> 0:11:48.599 it was it your kids or who who was it 0:11:48.679 --> 0:11:49.640 Adeline that told you that? 0:11:49.679 --> 0:11:52.880 You asked the question, what does this make possible? Too fast? Oh? 0:11:52.920 --> 0:11:55.320 Adeline ads to share both of them together. 0:11:55.559 --> 0:11:57.440 Yeah. So this is where the finesse comes in. 0:11:57.480 --> 0:12:00.640 Where we have space for the frustration, and we have 0:12:00.679 --> 0:12:03.160 space for the things that are going wrong, and we 0:12:03.200 --> 0:12:06.080 are mindful to not let somebody linger there too long. 0:12:06.559 --> 0:12:08.920 We're helping them see the other side, versus saying don't 0:12:08.960 --> 0:12:11.880 look at that. Okay, I'm gonna help you see both 0:12:11.960 --> 0:12:12.800 versus don't look at that. 0:12:13.760 --> 0:12:17.400 Guess what finesse Finish and strengthen Extra Hold Hairspray nine 0:12:17.480 --> 0:12:18.080 nine on. 0:12:18.120 --> 0:12:21.400 Amazon something brand finesse finish. 0:12:21.600 --> 0:12:24.160 I don't know, Yeah it is finesse. 0:12:25.200 --> 0:12:27.120 Also, is that how you spell finess because it looks 0:12:27.120 --> 0:12:27.800 like finis. 0:12:29.200 --> 0:12:32.880 Yeah, but I have to say finesse in like soccer, 0:12:32.960 --> 0:12:34.920 We're like, oh, they had a finesse to it, like 0:12:34.960 --> 0:12:36.600 when you did like a really cool move, like and 0:12:36.679 --> 0:12:41.439 it was like smooth, Like oh. 0:12:40.240 --> 0:12:41.680 Oh, this is gonna be my new word. You know 0:12:41.720 --> 0:12:43.280 how dates are my new food. 0:12:43.600 --> 0:12:46.240 Like those dates had a finesse to them in my salade. 0:12:46.280 --> 0:12:48.120 Yeah, I'm just gonna start using it all the time, 0:12:48.160 --> 0:12:49.720 like dates, I want dates and everything. 0:12:49.760 --> 0:12:50.440 I love dates. 0:12:50.440 --> 0:12:51.960 And now I feel like I'm going to fall in 0:12:52.000 --> 0:12:52.960 love with the word finess. 0:12:53.000 --> 0:12:55.560 I have a challenge for you, Okay, on the Bobby 0:12:55.559 --> 0:12:56.000 Bones Show. 0:12:56.040 --> 0:12:59.160 You should have to work in finesse once, no problem, 0:12:59.320 --> 0:13:00.840 in the next twice in the next week. 0:13:00.840 --> 0:13:02.760 How about that. Yeah, see if somebody picks up of 0:13:02.800 --> 0:13:03.960 like you've said that twice. 0:13:04.080 --> 0:13:06.120 So my boyfriend's son gave me that challenge on the 0:13:06.160 --> 0:13:07.959 Bobby Bone Show once because he listens on his way 0:13:07.960 --> 0:13:09.720 to school and he's twelve, and he was like, and 0:13:09.760 --> 0:13:13.600 you do just say the word donut. And I was like, Okay, well, 0:13:13.640 --> 0:13:15.920 we'll see, because Bobby was doing the news and so 0:13:15.920 --> 0:13:17.640 I'm like, how am I going to work donut into 0:13:17.679 --> 0:13:22.400 the news? And I feel like maybe. Then Bobby brought 0:13:22.480 --> 0:13:28.040 up some story about UFOs or some identify unidentified objects 0:13:28.080 --> 0:13:30.560 aliens like something with the government, and I'm like, how 0:13:30.720 --> 0:13:34.320 in the world am I gonna work in donut? And 0:13:34.360 --> 0:13:37.960 I just remember saying something like, well, do we have 0:13:38.080 --> 0:13:42.599 the the whole picture, like the whole, like the whole shebang, 0:13:42.800 --> 0:13:46.720 the whole donut, because you know, you know, there's the 0:13:46.720 --> 0:13:48.839 full donut and then you have the cutout donut and 0:13:48.880 --> 0:13:49.920 that's how you get the donut hole. 0:13:50.120 --> 0:13:51.280 We just have the donut hole? Or do we have 0:13:51.320 --> 0:13:51.920 the whole donut? 0:13:52.000 --> 0:13:53.680 Yeah, the whole shebang? I think, I go, do we 0:13:53.720 --> 0:13:55.400 have the whole donut? Is this the whole donut? 0:13:55.440 --> 0:13:56.079 The whole shebang? 0:13:56.559 --> 0:13:57.839 And that was the way that I worked at it, 0:13:57.880 --> 0:14:00.440 and he thought it was the coolest thing ever. 0:14:00.520 --> 0:14:01.920 Like he's on his way to school and he's like, 0:14:02.000 --> 0:14:16.720 she just doesn't do that, like this is crazy, which 0:14:16.720 --> 0:14:20.080 speaking of my boyfriend, you know how that reminds me 0:14:20.160 --> 0:14:24.360 because Autumn was talking about the Couch Talk's email from 0:14:24.520 --> 0:14:27.200 Mackenzie and It was on that episode that I called 0:14:27.680 --> 0:14:29.080 my boyfriend my husband. 0:14:29.720 --> 0:14:30.560 How could we forget? 0:14:31.400 --> 0:14:33.120 Yeah, and that was cool. 0:14:33.320 --> 0:14:38.080 It's just a little fruity Fridian slip for Fredian Freudian. 0:14:38.200 --> 0:14:39.720 It's not like you're saying fruity. 0:14:39.720 --> 0:14:42.320 Freudianian Freudian Fredian slip. 0:14:42.560 --> 0:14:42.720 Yep. 0:14:43.320 --> 0:14:45.400 And it has been haunting me ever since. 0:14:45.880 --> 0:14:49.200 So it made a funny you know, real about it 0:14:49.240 --> 0:14:52.840 that we put on social at Feeling Things podcast. If 0:14:52.840 --> 0:15:01.920 you're not already following, follow TikTok Instagram, I'll subscribe, like subscribe, follow, reshare, save, comment, save, save, 0:15:02.320 --> 0:15:06.560 save our posts. Apparently saving posts helps engagement because that. 0:15:06.600 --> 0:15:08.080 Know, that means people really like this. 0:15:08.160 --> 0:15:10.080 I want to come back to it, saving and sharing, 0:15:10.320 --> 0:15:12.360 like if you share it to your stories. 0:15:12.680 --> 0:15:14.840 Share it to her friend, share it too. Yeah, that's 0:15:14.840 --> 0:15:15.600 what I started doing. 0:15:15.600 --> 0:15:18.160 You know they did that. I went in, I posted 0:15:18.160 --> 0:15:20.440 something and I started sending it out to everybody we know, 0:15:20.640 --> 0:15:22.800 and I was like, my sister. But it worked because 0:15:22.800 --> 0:15:24.960 my sister went to Our Feeling Things and she commented, 0:15:24.960 --> 0:15:26.720 and I don't know that she comments that often, but 0:15:26.720 --> 0:15:30.360 because I put it straight into her DMS, she was like, ah, yeah, 0:15:30.400 --> 0:15:32.960 I'm gonna go leave a comment I sent it to. 0:15:33.040 --> 0:15:34.760 But you didn't say anything to people when you did it, 0:15:34.800 --> 0:15:36.360 because I I just smired it off. 0:15:36.360 --> 0:15:37.360 Okay, I did that this morning. 0:15:37.440 --> 0:15:38.640 I sent it to one of my friends and I 0:15:38.680 --> 0:15:41.200 texted her, you can ignore that DM I sent you, 0:15:41.360 --> 0:15:42.560 and she goes, oh, dang it. 0:15:42.600 --> 0:15:44.360 I thought I was special when you were setting I 0:15:44.360 --> 0:15:45.120 should have just let her. 0:15:45.200 --> 0:15:47.520 Let it be, okay, just start firing it off to 0:15:47.560 --> 0:15:50.280 all your people. I sent it to your husband, send 0:15:50.320 --> 0:15:52.840 it to my boyfriend, like ha, look at this reel 0:15:52.920 --> 0:15:57.479 when I called you my husband, because then the. 0:15:56.200 --> 0:15:59.840 The caption on it was, uh, what was you soft launch? 0:16:00.160 --> 0:16:00.560 Husband? 0:16:00.800 --> 0:16:02.160 Yeah, just saft launched my marriage. 0:16:02.200 --> 0:16:04.640 He doesn't know it yet, So what did he think 0:16:04.680 --> 0:16:04.960 of it? 0:16:05.600 --> 0:16:06.480 He thought it was hilarious. 0:16:06.480 --> 0:16:10.200 Okay, he thought it was funny, Thank goodness. But when 0:16:10.240 --> 0:16:13.520 I say it is haunting me, it's like his dad 0:16:13.600 --> 0:16:16.280 sent me a text and he was like, your quote 0:16:16.360 --> 0:16:19.280 unquote husband, just sent me the video because you know, 0:16:19.320 --> 0:16:22.000 also in the video we talked about wait to Worry WTW, 0:16:22.080 --> 0:16:25.080 which was an acronym or saying from his dad, and 0:16:25.120 --> 0:16:27.520 so he thought sharing his dad would be special, and 0:16:27.520 --> 0:16:30.520 of course his dad loved it. But his dad was like, oh, 0:16:30.560 --> 0:16:33.600 Alex sent me this. He was like, your husband sent it. 0:16:34.000 --> 0:16:36.800 And then you saw some guy at the gym that 0:16:37.160 --> 0:16:41.160 also said something and then which you can tell that story. 0:16:41.400 --> 0:16:43.280 So I've been going to the gym with this guy 0:16:43.360 --> 0:16:46.280 for probably nine months and we've said high and stuff 0:16:46.280 --> 0:16:48.120 to each other, but never introduced each other. 0:16:48.440 --> 0:16:50.200 So thank you. You helped me make a friend. 0:16:50.240 --> 0:16:52.480 He came up to me, he was like, oh my gosh, 0:16:52.880 --> 0:16:55.880 you came up on my Instagram and I wanted to 0:16:55.920 --> 0:16:57.800 tell you. He was like, I don't know Amy, but 0:16:57.840 --> 0:17:01.880 I know her husband because he's a great guy. 0:17:01.960 --> 0:17:05.239 And I was like, yeah, yeah, So it turns out, yes, 0:17:05.359 --> 0:17:07.280 they do know each other and the kids know each other. 0:17:07.400 --> 0:17:09.879 And then my boyfriend got a text from one of 0:17:09.880 --> 0:17:12.199 his neighbors that said, are you getting married? 0:17:12.359 --> 0:17:12.880 Stop it? 0:17:13.000 --> 0:17:17.000 Yes, and I was like, make it stop, stop stop. 0:17:17.200 --> 0:17:20.479 So he really thought, who knows what the neighbors saw 0:17:20.600 --> 0:17:22.720 or what that because sometimes you're just scrolling real quick 0:17:22.760 --> 0:17:24.800 and it could say be like my face soft launch 0:17:24.840 --> 0:17:26.920 of my marriage, Like he doesn't know yet, and maybe 0:17:26.920 --> 0:17:29.080 they don't. I don't know, do they get it? Did 0:17:29.119 --> 0:17:31.240 they not understand what really happened? And then they're texting 0:17:31.320 --> 0:17:34.280 him are you getting married? Are you getting engaged? And 0:17:34.320 --> 0:17:36.040 I said, well, what did you reply? He goes, I 0:17:36.119 --> 0:17:38.679 just sent back no, And I was like, well, what do. 0:17:38.720 --> 0:17:41.400 You mean by no? We're not engaged? 0:17:42.440 --> 0:17:44.840 Right? I know it was a very normal answer, but 0:17:44.960 --> 0:17:46.520 somehow I was offended by it. 0:17:47.040 --> 0:17:50.480 You wanted him to be like, not yet, right, Yeah, yeah, 0:17:50.640 --> 0:17:52.600 that makes sense. Do you remember you might not remember 0:17:52.640 --> 0:17:55.439 this when early when Patrick and I were dating, he 0:17:55.480 --> 0:17:57.919 posted it was like maybe the first picture he posted 0:17:57.960 --> 0:18:00.399 of me, I think it was, and I had a 0:18:00.480 --> 0:18:03.040 ring on my ring finger and he posted it and 0:18:03.119 --> 0:18:07.040 he got multiple people, including his cousin, called him and asked, 0:18:07.080 --> 0:18:10.080 are you engaged? I was like, first of all, if 0:18:10.080 --> 0:18:12.240 that was our engagement post, we would have some issues. 0:18:14.160 --> 0:18:15.879 I think we're a house of cards or something. 0:18:16.280 --> 0:18:19.000 Yes you do. I'm like, oh my gosh, that never 0:18:19.040 --> 0:18:21.160 will wear I never wore a ring on that finger. Point. 0:18:21.240 --> 0:18:22.320