Speaker 1: I won't let my body out way outweigh everything that
Speaker 1: I'm made do, won't spend my life trying to change.
Speaker 1: I'm learning to love who I am again. I'm strong,
Speaker 1: I feel free, I know who every part of me.
Speaker 1: It's beautiful and done will always outway if you feel
Speaker 1: it with your hands and the here she's some love
Speaker 1: to the boom by a day. Let's say good day
Speaker 1: and time did you and die out? Happy Saturday. Outweigh
Speaker 1: Amy here and my expert guest today is Leanne Ellington.
Speaker 1: She's a self image scientist and cookie lover. I love
Speaker 1: her bio. She's been on the podcast before, so you
Speaker 1: may recall she was on Outweigh and Four Things Yeah
Speaker 1: Done both and she's going to be a part of
Speaker 1: the Four Things Live that's going down here in Nashville.
Speaker 1: And I love your knowledge of the brain and why
Speaker 1: we behave the way we behave. You give us the why,
Speaker 1: and I feel like it's really important for us to
Speaker 1: understand the why because then we realize, oh, I'm not
Speaker 1: crazy for thinking this way about myself or behaving this way.
Speaker 1: My brain is simply just trying to take care of me.
Speaker 1: And so that's what we're going to talk about today
Speaker 1: is our brains. What our brains are doing for us,
Speaker 1: especially like for me in particularly in whenever I was
Speaker 1: starting my recovery journey from binge eating, I read a
Speaker 1: book called Brain over Binge, and that's the first time
Speaker 1: I was introduced to the animal brain. And that was
Speaker 1: her way of the simple way of putting it. That
Speaker 1: part of my brain that was helping me survive because
Speaker 1: I had starved myself for so long I had would
Speaker 1: restrict and so then that led to my body not
Speaker 1: trusting me and my brain not knowing when I was
Speaker 1: ever going to give it food again. So therefore it
Speaker 1: would eat eat, eat, eat eat because it's like, oh,
Speaker 1: I don't know when this person is going to feed
Speaker 1: me again. And then that that created that pattern, and
Speaker 1: so every time I would go to the pantry, my
Speaker 1: animal brain was in charge. But the cool part is
Speaker 1: once I realized that I was able to take control
Speaker 1: and be like, oh no, no, no, animal brain not today.
Speaker 1: And that is what you're going to talk about today,
Speaker 1: is like the meat of that Yeah, absolutely, yeah, And
Speaker 1: I think you said it so well. It's like we
Speaker 1: judge what we don't understand, and in that area that
Speaker 1: we don't understand about ourselves. That's where usually the shame lives,
Speaker 1: and we make meaning that I'm crazy or there's something
Speaker 1: wrong with me, or I'm air quotes broken or whatever
Speaker 1: we say. And that's why I get so passionate about
Speaker 1: sharing the why behind the what, because, as you know
Speaker 1: you've shared before, my struggle ran so deep and until
Speaker 1: I understood why I do, why I did what I did,
Speaker 1: I just put myself in those categories that had shame
Speaker 1: stories around it. So I think it's so important. But
Speaker 1: also the cool thing is once we understand it and
Speaker 1: we see that it's really just like a mechanism, it's
Speaker 1: almost like a system that's kind of been running our
Speaker 1: life for us. We can look at it and then
Speaker 1: understand how to take back the power from it and
Speaker 1: learn how to have it be our best friend and
Speaker 1: be our superpower when we know how to manage it
Speaker 1: and influence it rather than having it control us. And
Speaker 1: so when you say best friend, what do you mean
Speaker 1: by that? Yeah? So you know, people often ask me like,
Speaker 1: what do you mean when you say rewire the brain?
Speaker 1: Because one of the things I always say is and
Speaker 1: it just came from my own experiences, like It wasn't
Speaker 1: a food thing, it wasn't a motivation or willpower thing.
Speaker 1: My brain was doing the doing for me. And it
Speaker 1: didn't matter how many diets I went on or failed,
Speaker 1: And it didn't matter, you know, all of the positive
Speaker 1: motivation I told myself. My brain still was doing its
Speaker 1: own thing and its own pattern making and meaning making
Speaker 1: and acting. And so, you know, the best description of
Speaker 1: it was doctor Stephen Peters in the Chimp paradox. You know,
Speaker 1: like in basically our brains share a very milar structure
Speaker 1: with that of the chimpanzee brain, but specifically when it
Speaker 1: comes to that impulse control, and so a lot of
Speaker 1: times that is the part of our brain that's associated
Speaker 1: with us thinking that we're weak willed, thinking that we're
Speaker 1: not motivated enough, thinking that we're a failure, and that
Speaker 1: becomes ingrained in our self image. So first and foremost,
Speaker 1: just acknowledging, Wow, I have this chimp brain up there,
Speaker 1: and she's untamed, she's uncontrolled, she's running around, she's probably
Speaker 1: a little mischievous, and she is what is, you know,
Speaker 1: doing the doing, eating, the eating, binging, the binging. Right,
Speaker 1: So acknowledging that and that we can actually train her,
Speaker 1: and we can tame her, and we can show her
Speaker 1: the ropes, these new ropes, you know, so to speak,
Speaker 1: and really just take back power from that now obviously
Speaker 1: it's beyond the scope of this chat right now, but
Speaker 1: that that is even possible, that in itself, to me,
Speaker 1: it is power and knowing that it doesn't just have
Speaker 1: to be this way for the rest of our lives
Speaker 1: and we're not death to stay stuck in these patterns.
Speaker 1: Just knowing that. And then the other side of that
Speaker 1: is obviously that it's kind of like the cousin of it,
Speaker 1: or that really seals the deal. Is is the self image,
Speaker 1: you know, because you can have all of the impulse
Speaker 1: control and self control that you could possibly have, but
Speaker 1: if your self image is spinning stories of you know,
Speaker 1: the ones we talked about like this is who you are,
Speaker 1: this is who you'll always be, or labeling your things
Speaker 1: like unlovable, unworthy, fat, whatever we say to ourselves. Right,
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter how you know self disciplined you are,
Speaker 1: it's going to become a self fulfilling prophecy. You'll always
Speaker 1: step into your self image and unfortunately you'll never outsmart
Speaker 1: or out diet or outstrategize your self image. So when
Speaker 1: I say rewire the brain, it's got to be both, right,
Speaker 1: So you definitely need to tame that chimp. And really
Speaker 1: that's befriending it. Yeah, knowing like this is this funny
Speaker 1: part of me come yet and it's not that it's
Speaker 1: going to magically go away and stop. So what if
Speaker 1: we just acknowledge, like, this is the part of me
Speaker 1: that's happening, and I'm going to radically commit to learning
Speaker 1: how to tame it, so to speak, and become this conscious,
Speaker 1: mindful decision maker rather than having these feeling like these
Speaker 1: decisions are being made for me or choices being taken
Speaker 1: away from me. Right, So really, just like again, knowing
Speaker 1: that it's not going away, but how can I become
Speaker 1: friends with it rather than thinking it's my worst enemy
Speaker 1: or that I'm a self sabotager. Right. I like the
Speaker 1: idea of becoming friends with it. I had not thought
Speaker 1: of it that way before. I sort of was annoyed
Speaker 1: by it and hated it and it was frustrated. I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, I think befriending it gives you more
Speaker 1: compassion for yourself because it is part of you. But
Speaker 1: at the same time, if you picture it is that
Speaker 1: and you become friends with it and you're like, hey, buddy,
Speaker 1: I know you're trying to do your best to take
Speaker 1: care of me right now, but we're spinning a little
Speaker 1: out of control, and there's another way, so come on
Speaker 1: join me over here, and then that part can sort
Speaker 1: of calm down instead of having such anger towards it.
Speaker 1: Frustration exactly because the resent conversation of like, man, this
Speaker 1: is this part of my brain that I have no
Speaker 1: control over, or we you know, we label it as
Speaker 1: bad or whatever. It's arguing with reality. You know. In Buying,
Speaker 1: Katie says, when you argue with reality, you suffer. So
Speaker 1: you're literally just like creating suffering around something that is right.
Speaker 1: But when we look at it, acknowledge it and be like, hey,
Speaker 1: I don't have to like this part of my brain
Speaker 1: is doing its thing without me. But if I can
Speaker 1: just accept that it is, like, this is what's happening.
Speaker 1: So what if I looked at it like, Okay, I'm
Speaker 1: I'm gonna take it on and I'm gonna befriended and
Speaker 1: make peace with it and accept first and foremost, just
Speaker 1: accept that this is what's happening. It completely changes the
Speaker 1: tone and reframes it because yeah, it's no longer this
Speaker 1: enemy that you have to you know, defeat, because that
Speaker 1: puts you in that fight mentality. Now it's just something like, Okay,
Speaker 1: now I know the reality of it, and I can
Speaker 1: actually act accordingly and take power from it and empower
Speaker 1: myself to influence it, rather than feel like it's an
Speaker 1: enemy that I have to avoid or you know, stuff
Speaker 1: down or be mad at. You mentioned acknowledging it being
Speaker 1: the first step. What's another step that we can take
Speaker 1: to tame it? Or what are some examples of taming it?
Speaker 1: Because that's great? Should I hear that? And someone listening
Speaker 1: might be like, Okay, great, now I know that there's
Speaker 1: hope I can do this. She's telling me I can.
Speaker 1: It is possible, and I'm aware of it. So I'm
Speaker 1: acknowledging it. But what's the one thing maybe I can
Speaker 1: try to start doing today, Yeah, to tame her? Yeah,
Speaker 1: And it's it's such a such a little question, and
Speaker 1: there's so many different things. Yeah, whichever the case, Maybe
Speaker 1: chimp exactly exactly, however, you're chimp identifying right exactly. We
Speaker 1: are all we love all chimps around here. So you know,
Speaker 1: the first step would be I call it an awareness awareness, right,
Speaker 1: which is just having the awareness that you have the
Speaker 1: ability to have an awareness of something. So for example,
Speaker 1: people listening today might not realize they have this chimp
Speaker 1: that is in charge of their impulse control or a
Speaker 1: lot of times it feels like lack thereof right, And
Speaker 1: so having this awareness that you have the ability to
Speaker 1: even influence a chimp in your brain and befriend it
Speaker 1: is a step, right, the awareness to have the awareness,
Speaker 1: you know. And then you know the first thing that
Speaker 1: like the pause, right, the mindfulness, the taking a breath
Speaker 1: even and again I know some of these things that
Speaker 1: we hear it's like, okay, that's easier said than done, right,
Speaker 1: but everybody can just taken an inhalation and an exhalation,
Speaker 1: one breath, you know, and even you know, one of
Speaker 1: the things I teach is this idea of kind of
Speaker 1: future pacing and reverse engineering. And again this might go
Speaker 1: beyond the scope of today, but this idea of like
Speaker 1: you know, drawing that line in the sand first and foremost,
Speaker 1: and even just saying you know what, like I'm not
Speaker 1: going to fight this anymore. I'm not gonna make myself wrong.
Speaker 1: I'm just going to acknowledge that this is the part
Speaker 1: of me, So, you know, the acceptance of what is
Speaker 1: It might sound like such a small step, but just
Speaker 1: being able to accept that this is what's happening and
Speaker 1: that I want to influence it that has to be
Speaker 1: the first step before you go transform anything, in my opinion,
Speaker 1: you know, so that like radical acceptance of this is
Speaker 1: what is in acknowledging. Hey, I don't have to like it.
Speaker 1: It might outright stink right now, but just knowing like
Speaker 1: this is what's happening and accepting it, and then even
Speaker 1: just one breath, one inhalation, one exhalation is enough to
Speaker 1: put you in the parasympathetic branch of your nervous system,
Speaker 1: and that's what's going to give you a gateway to
Speaker 1: even be able to make a conscious decision next. I
Speaker 1: love the pause, and we'll talk more later about parasympathetic.
Speaker 1: I feel like it's something that has come up on
Speaker 1: the podcast in previous episodes, but you could also just
Speaker 1: google it too, and you can learn the two different types,
Speaker 1: the sympathetic and the parasympathetic, and what's happening in your
Speaker 1: brain and how you can actually put yourself in it,
Speaker 1: like you said, with the breathwork, with meditation, with journaling.
Speaker 1: We were just talking about this. We were at Restore.
Speaker 1: We were I do cryotherapy. Lean and I were both
Speaker 1: there and this football player like walked in and he's like,
Speaker 1: oh man, I love cryotherapy. A big tough guy, and
Speaker 1: he's talking about how in the morning he does his meditation,
Speaker 1: his journaling to get his mind right because he knows
Speaker 1: that's going to set him up for a successful day.
Speaker 1: So even as a pro athlete, he knows what's up
Speaker 1: because he knows he's got to get his head right.
Speaker 1: And so wherever you are, which most of us are
Speaker 1: not pro athletes, but what we got to set ourselves
Speaker 1: up for the day, Like we're on a mission. We
Speaker 1: have a mission. And if you're listening to this right now,
Speaker 1: you're either on a mission to help someone that you
Speaker 1: know and love that potentially has a needing disorder and
Speaker 1: disordered eating, or you're curious and you're listening for yourself,
Speaker 1: or you know what's going on with yourself and you
Speaker 1: are trying to gather all the tools and all the things.
Speaker 1: But just know that that pause, that breath. I love
Speaker 1: that you said that, and that's a simple thing to
Speaker 1: take away because it is so much more complex than
Speaker 1: just this. There's a bajillion different steps, but that's a
Speaker 1: great place to start, is the breath. And for me,
Speaker 1: every time I would go to that pantry, I was
Speaker 1: rewiring my brain. I would she would encourage me. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's your animal brain wanting to go to the pantry
Speaker 1: to binge. So go look at the door, turn around,
Speaker 1: walk away. You might have to look at the door,
Speaker 1: turn around, and walk away five hundred times. But every
Speaker 1: time you turn around and don't give in, you are
Speaker 1: training the brain. Absolutely, So we're training our chimp. Every
Speaker 1: time you take that pause, you take that breath, and
Speaker 1: you don't give in to whatever the behavior is set
Speaker 1: for mine. It could be for you, could be that.
Speaker 1: You know, maybe you're turning to a glass of wine
Speaker 1: every night. Can we pause and not give in to
Speaker 1: that or binging on you know, Netflix or shopping or
Speaker 1: whatever it is. So I know there's so much more
Speaker 1: to it. So thank you for giving us a simple
Speaker 1: step to begin with there, lean and it's it's very helpful.
Speaker 1: And just know, I think the big takeaway here is
Speaker 1: and what we're all about here at always that there's
Speaker 1: hope and you're not alone. Absolutely yeah, And even just
Speaker 1: these conversations, the studies show that awareness of a problem
Speaker 1: is enough to create a pattern interrupt in your brain
Speaker 1: to take that next step. So even just awareness and
Speaker 1: having these heightened levels and these conversations that you're even
Speaker 1: having here is helping. It might not see like these
Speaker 1: big dramatic steps, but it counts. It matters. It's a
Speaker 1: step forward. You're weekly dose aboutweigh or what other things
Speaker 1: you're the books you're reading, the other podcasts you're listening to,
Speaker 1: the conversations you're having with friends, with your therapist. All
Speaker 1: those things are disrupting. And so that's why even without
Speaker 1: Way it's a quick Saturday episode, I keep them ten
Speaker 1: to fifteen minutes. I want it to be digestible. I
Speaker 1: don't want it to be something that overwhelms you. I
Speaker 1: want it to be that weekly pick me up of
Speaker 1: encouragement or hope or someone just coming alongside you and
Speaker 1: knowing that hey, we're all trying to figure this out
Speaker 1: and then bringing experts on that can help help guide us.
Speaker 1: So thank you Leanne for coming on today for those
Speaker 1: for the weekly outwagh pick me up. Yes, I love it.
Speaker 1: I would be a part of it. Which lean Where
Speaker 1: can people find you? Yeah? Absolutely, you can just go
Speaker 1: to Stressless Eating dot com. There's a ton of coal
Speaker 1: resources for you to just get more awareness and really
Speaker 1: help set yourself free. Awesome and I am at radio
Speaker 1: Amy on Instagram. You can find links there for everything.
Speaker 1: Also Amy dot com. I m hm