WEBVTT - Toxic Productividad 0:00:04.040 --> 0:00:06.440 I'm Honey German. My parents are Dominican. I was born 0:00:06.480 --> 0:00:08.880 and raised in New York City. I love sneakers and 0:00:08.880 --> 0:00:13.880 I'm a body positive advocate. I'm Carolina Bermudez, but i 0:00:13.920 --> 0:00:17.599 was born and raised in Ohio. I'm a wife, a mama, 0:00:17.680 --> 0:00:21.799 and a worker being. This is life in English. Looks 0:00:21.840 --> 0:00:24.720 like we are back at it again. I mean, every 0:00:24.760 --> 0:00:27.680 time we get a chance to hang together, it's always 0:00:27.800 --> 0:00:29.640 a good time, if you know what I mean. What's 0:00:29.680 --> 0:00:32.400 up guy? Since Carolina, it's so crazy because we record 0:00:32.440 --> 0:00:34.800 this for audio, but we are on video, and it's 0:00:34.800 --> 0:00:37.159 like before I was like, should I look good for Carolina? 0:00:37.200 --> 0:00:38.839 And then I was like, nah, she's getting to some 0:00:39.000 --> 0:00:41.880 block and that's all she's getting. I'm sorry, No, that's 0:00:41.880 --> 0:00:44.479 exactly what I'm giving you two. I mean, honestly, when 0:00:44.479 --> 0:00:47.320 you're working from home, I went through so many different 0:00:47.320 --> 0:00:50.320 phases of Okay, I'm gonna be motivated, I'm still gonna 0:00:50.360 --> 0:00:52.479 wake up at the same time, and then that quickly 0:00:52.520 --> 0:00:54.280 went away, and then it was like one hour later, 0:00:54.600 --> 0:00:58.000 so I really need to put on my my mascara today. Yeah, 0:00:58.240 --> 0:01:00.800 nobody's gonna see me. So now it's just like now 0:01:00.840 --> 0:01:04.759 you get the real me, which I love and that's 0:01:04.760 --> 0:01:10.600 a fact. Uh, let's see, so let's just check and 0:01:10.640 --> 0:01:12.720 make sure. We hope that you guys are enjoying the 0:01:12.760 --> 0:01:14.920 fact that we are back. We are loving that we 0:01:14.959 --> 0:01:18.200 can come back to you guys. Um it's almost like 0:01:18.280 --> 0:01:20.679 when you don't ride a bike for a long time, 0:01:20.720 --> 0:01:22.880 where you don't do an activity. You know, you're just 0:01:23.000 --> 0:01:25.520 we're finding our footing again, and it's just really crazy 0:01:25.640 --> 0:01:29.480 since we're still not in the office. You know what, 0:01:29.640 --> 0:01:32.280 It's great, Carolina. The whole time we did life in Spanish, 0:01:32.319 --> 0:01:34.880 it always just felt like a conversation between me and you. 0:01:35.319 --> 0:01:37.479 So it's like me it came back like Okay, now 0:01:37.520 --> 0:01:39.960 we're catching up every single week and we're recording it 0:01:40.040 --> 0:01:42.120 for other people to hear about it exactly. So No, 0:01:42.319 --> 0:01:44.080 we are just so glad that we are back on 0:01:44.160 --> 0:01:46.160 track and that we are giving you guys the shows, 0:01:46.200 --> 0:01:48.560 and we've been encouraging you to send us your info 0:01:48.720 --> 0:01:50.720 and any questions and stuff that you guys might have. 0:01:50.760 --> 0:01:52.760 But today we're going to talk about something that Honey 0:01:52.800 --> 0:01:56.000 wanted to discuss that I'm really interested in hearing all about. 0:01:56.160 --> 0:01:58.480 And I want you to set this up honey, because 0:01:58.480 --> 0:02:00.200 I feel like it's going to be so helpful to 0:02:00.320 --> 0:02:02.680 so many people. You know, it's it's something that I'm 0:02:02.720 --> 0:02:05.200 dealing with right now, and it's the dangerous trap of 0:02:05.360 --> 0:02:08.360 toxic productivity. What this means is when you're always on 0:02:08.480 --> 0:02:11.880 when it comes to work and being productive, and eventually 0:02:11.880 --> 0:02:15.600 it becomes plain o unhealthy and unhelpful. For a lot 0:02:15.639 --> 0:02:18.160 of us, being home for this past year or working 0:02:18.200 --> 0:02:20.560 from home means that we constantly want to be doing 0:02:20.600 --> 0:02:23.680 something one unproductive, especially when it comes to work. Me, 0:02:24.000 --> 0:02:27.040 I am so so big on like being honest, right, 0:02:27.280 --> 0:02:29.720 if I'm working from home, I want to constantly be working, 0:02:29.840 --> 0:02:32.040 even if it's just an amount of hours I'm supposed 0:02:32.040 --> 0:02:33.560 to be on. Let's say, like I work seven to 0:02:33.680 --> 0:02:35.560 three from the moment I wake up. I want to 0:02:35.560 --> 0:02:38.799 be productive and sometimes it's spilling over. Can I tell 0:02:38.840 --> 0:02:41.200 you this, Carolina, Like maybe like the two hours right 0:02:41.200 --> 0:02:43.680 before I wake up, I'm doing like an inventory in 0:02:43.760 --> 0:02:46.079 my sleep about what I need to get done. Oh 0:02:46.160 --> 0:02:49.359 so it's just starting from even when you're in bed. Yes, 0:02:49.600 --> 0:02:52.480 I'm doing the rundown. Like I never thought about what 0:02:52.520 --> 0:02:54.320 I needed to do when I got into the office 0:02:54.360 --> 0:02:56.960 before while I was sleeping. You probably thought about it 0:02:56.960 --> 0:02:59.520 though when you're commute, right, Like, I'm just wondering why 0:02:59.600 --> 0:03:02.960 you're instituting it now, like in your downtime maybe because 0:03:03.000 --> 0:03:06.000 like during your commute, you would have gotten on the 0:03:06.040 --> 0:03:08.040 training or the bus or whatever it is, and like 0:03:08.120 --> 0:03:09.880 you would have started plotting out like Okay, when I 0:03:09.919 --> 0:03:11.920 get to work, I'm gonna do X, Y and Z. 0:03:12.160 --> 0:03:15.440 So maybe because you've eliminated that step from your routine, 0:03:15.680 --> 0:03:18.200 maybe like while you're in bed, this is what's happening. 0:03:18.200 --> 0:03:20.760 I mean, for me, it translates as anxiety, like because 0:03:20.760 --> 0:03:23.519 I'm constantly going through like oh my gosh, did I 0:03:23.560 --> 0:03:25.600 do this? Did I forget this? A target? Do I 0:03:25.639 --> 0:03:27.120 need to go to b JS? Do I? You know 0:03:27.120 --> 0:03:29.280 what I mean? So if there's like a constant tally 0:03:29.760 --> 0:03:31.640 going on in my brain of the things that I 0:03:31.680 --> 0:03:33.760 need to take care of, but you know, it's crazy. 0:03:33.800 --> 0:03:36.800 At least I was waiting before. Now I'm sleeping doing 0:03:36.880 --> 0:03:40.040 I can't believe that. So what like is it dreaming 0:03:40.200 --> 0:03:42.080 or is it just for a state of sleep that 0:03:42.160 --> 0:03:45.080 you can remember, because I don't remember anything anymore. I'm 0:03:45.160 --> 0:03:47.880 semi conscious, Like I feel like, let's say we're making 0:03:47.880 --> 0:03:50.880 a big announcement. Yeah, by like five thirty six, I'm 0:03:50.920 --> 0:03:53.960 tossing and turning the announcement back to sleep a little bit, 0:03:54.000 --> 0:03:56.240 the announcement back to sleep a little bit, and you 0:03:56.280 --> 0:03:58.440 know this whole I guess I'm trying to be productive 0:03:58.440 --> 0:04:01.400 in my sleep. Isn't that crazy? I feel like it 0:04:01.480 --> 0:04:04.440 is definitely like a state of anxiety, you know what 0:04:04.480 --> 0:04:06.640 I mean, because like okay, for example, like your station 0:04:06.680 --> 0:04:09.280 was announcing that you were having a concert, like maybe 0:04:09.280 --> 0:04:11.400 it's in your subconscious you know what I mean, like 0:04:11.520 --> 0:04:13.440 all the things that you need to make sure that 0:04:13.480 --> 0:04:16.279 it gets executed the right way. And that one was big, 0:04:16.360 --> 0:04:18.240 like I was, I was leading, I was running a point, 0:04:18.240 --> 0:04:20.000 like everybody was coming to me for everything on this 0:04:20.320 --> 0:04:22.279 as far as the digital space goes. So yeah, you 0:04:22.320 --> 0:04:24.560 are right. I did have a lot of anxiety. I 0:04:24.600 --> 0:04:28.120 wanted to make sure that nothing went wrong. And it 0:04:28.200 --> 0:04:30.400 was like announced it was at seven am. Imagine I 0:04:30.440 --> 0:04:32.440 was a slept and ship didn't go off. I said, 0:04:32.520 --> 0:04:35.039 oh my gosh, And that would happen to me. That 0:04:35.080 --> 0:04:38.640 would happen to me. It's always the days when you 0:04:38.760 --> 0:04:41.560 have like the most important thing or for me, when 0:04:41.560 --> 0:04:44.120 we were working at the building the days that we 0:04:44.160 --> 0:04:46.800 had an interview and I needed to get their extra early. 0:04:47.000 --> 0:04:49.279 There was an accident on the l I E. Jack 0:04:49.360 --> 0:04:51.400 Knife tractor trailer. You know what I mean. It was 0:04:51.440 --> 0:04:53.600 just like, those are the breaks. But that's why you 0:04:53.640 --> 0:04:56.039 gotta be able to roll with things. So something that 0:04:56.320 --> 0:04:58.560 my brother told me a long, long time ago, and 0:04:58.600 --> 0:05:01.000 I use it to this day. That's why my husband 0:05:01.000 --> 0:05:04.040 makes so much fun of me, because I love office supplies. 0:05:04.560 --> 0:05:09.600 I love little notebooks. I love jotting things down. And 0:05:09.760 --> 0:05:11.599 my brother actually told me. He's like, whenever you have 0:05:11.600 --> 0:05:13.560 a thought, and this is my brother Rene, whenever you 0:05:13.600 --> 0:05:16.400 get overwhelmed, because I always have a million things going 0:05:16.440 --> 0:05:18.080 on in my head. He said, whenever you have a thought, 0:05:18.120 --> 0:05:20.080 write it down. And he's like, and I'm not talking 0:05:20.080 --> 0:05:23.320 about notes in your iPhone. Get yourself a little notepad 0:05:23.600 --> 0:05:26.160 and it doesn't even matter. It's almost extreme of consciousness. 0:05:26.360 --> 0:05:28.440 You know. I'll think of something funny, you know what 0:05:28.480 --> 0:05:29.960 I mean, Like that somebody else is I'm like, oh 0:05:29.960 --> 0:05:31.719 my gosh, that's funny. I want to use that. I'll 0:05:31.720 --> 0:05:35.080 write that down. Or if I think of a birthday 0:05:35.160 --> 0:05:37.919 idea for my kids in the future, I'll be like, 0:05:37.960 --> 0:05:40.800 oh wow, I could do this for their minecraft birthday. 0:05:41.200 --> 0:05:43.159 Even if I don't use it. It's there and I 0:05:43.200 --> 0:05:47.400 could exactly. And I see that you have a notebook now, 0:05:47.480 --> 0:05:49.800 so is this like something that you're doing too, Like 0:05:49.920 --> 0:05:52.600 I like to like make notes when I do meetings 0:05:52.600 --> 0:05:55.120 and stuff. I take notes because always somebody comes back 0:05:55.160 --> 0:05:57.520 and they're like, oh no, that wasn't said. I'm like, yes, 0:05:57.600 --> 0:06:00.240 it was. Reverts back to notes and I'm be over 0:06:00.279 --> 0:06:04.840 here with my little paper and he keeps seats everybody. 0:06:05.480 --> 0:06:07.560 It's like, now how we're moving differently. It's like, now 0:06:07.600 --> 0:06:09.560 we'll be in the meeting a bunch of people talking 0:06:09.640 --> 0:06:11.920 over each other. I might hear something that you don't hear, 0:06:11.920 --> 0:06:13.159 and I can come back to you and be like, hey, 0:06:13.200 --> 0:06:16.520 we miss this step. Going back to toxic productivity, right, 0:06:17.200 --> 0:06:19.680 I feel like it's a service, Like we feel like 0:06:19.760 --> 0:06:22.360 we're being productive. Oh my god, I'm making so much 0:06:22.440 --> 0:06:24.600 use of my time and from seven am to nine 0:06:24.640 --> 0:06:27.320 pm I'm busy. But it's taking a toll on a 0:06:27.320 --> 0:06:29.920 lot of people mentally, you know, And now you're not 0:06:29.960 --> 0:06:32.960 even being as productive as you can be because you're 0:06:32.960 --> 0:06:36.800 burnt out and it's just plainal unhealthy in my opinion, 0:06:36.839 --> 0:06:39.080 you know, and it's unrealistic that as a human we 0:06:39.120 --> 0:06:42.120 can constantly be productive, like all day and all night. 0:06:42.440 --> 0:06:45.240 There's a reason why they said, you know, I mean, 0:06:45.279 --> 0:06:47.000 and I don't know a lot of different religions, like 0:06:47.080 --> 0:06:49.039 they believe differently, but there's a reason why you have 0:06:49.120 --> 0:06:52.159 a day of rest in the week you're supposed to. 0:06:52.360 --> 0:06:55.200 Your body needs it, your heart needs it. You do 0:06:55.400 --> 0:06:57.200 you need to just press the resept But then we 0:06:57.279 --> 0:07:01.240 are just constantly on go serio to sleep. And that's 0:07:01.240 --> 0:07:03.360 where I think the lines are blurred. I don't know 0:07:03.400 --> 0:07:06.880 how to set boundaries. If somebody emails me at a 0:07:07.000 --> 0:07:09.480 p M. I'm answering by eight oh three, And that's 0:07:09.520 --> 0:07:13.720 something I'm struggling with. That is toxic productivity. Even like 0:07:13.840 --> 0:07:15.920 let's say, like, yes, jirty, I was in church, right, 0:07:16.720 --> 0:07:19.760 I'm getting messages on teams asking for things, and I'm like, 0:07:19.800 --> 0:07:23.840 why am I in the middle of a sermon checking teams? 0:07:23.920 --> 0:07:26.320 Like You've got to fix yourself. This is not good 0:07:26.320 --> 0:07:30.520 for you. I aven like constantly checking emails, text teams, 0:07:30.840 --> 0:07:32.320 d ms, like I want to make sure I don't 0:07:32.320 --> 0:07:35.840 miss anything. But then I know other people that would 0:07:35.920 --> 0:07:39.560 never even think about checking anything work related on a 0:07:40.000 --> 0:07:43.000 on a weekend, nonetheless on a Sunday. I'm like, teach 0:07:43.080 --> 0:07:46.040 me your ways, please, because you know, like I took 0:07:46.080 --> 0:07:48.600 some time off from work, but I still don't want 0:07:48.600 --> 0:07:50.920 to be viewed as like, oh, because you had a stroke, 0:07:51.000 --> 0:07:53.239 you're not as productive, or because you had a stroke, 0:07:53.320 --> 0:07:56.080 like you know, things are falling behind. So I'm like 0:07:56.320 --> 0:07:59.960 constantly trying to like overprove myself, not even just prove myself, 0:08:00.240 --> 0:08:02.800 overproved myself. I'm the one that answers in one minute. 0:08:02.920 --> 0:08:05.360 I'm the one that if somebody needs something converted into something, 0:08:05.400 --> 0:08:07.680 I'm doing it. And it's killing me. I'm not even 0:08:07.720 --> 0:08:09.440 gonna lie to you. It's killing me. And it's killing 0:08:09.480 --> 0:08:13.000 my relationship to a certain extent because my husband can't 0:08:13.000 --> 0:08:15.480 have a conversation with me over dinner without me making 0:08:15.480 --> 0:08:18.679 sure I'm checking the Holy Trinity, which is text message 0:08:18.800 --> 0:08:22.240 email teams, and I keep repeating the same circle, you know, 0:08:22.280 --> 0:08:24.680 at least once an hour, even when I'm not on 0:08:24.720 --> 0:08:26.720 the clock. And I'm sure I'm not the only one 0:08:26.760 --> 0:08:29.200 suffering from this, especially we're working from home. You know, 0:08:29.240 --> 0:08:31.480 you know what your boss to think, like you're slacking 0:08:31.520 --> 0:08:34.240 off because they're not seeing you before. It's like, fuck it. 0:08:34.280 --> 0:08:36.240 As long as I'm here, they know I'm here and 0:08:36.280 --> 0:08:40.200 I'm working. But it's like working from home now it's changing. Well, Okay, 0:08:40.200 --> 0:08:42.360 first of all, I appreciate your honesty because I think 0:08:42.360 --> 0:08:47.319 that you are being very forthright and honest about what 0:08:47.360 --> 0:08:49.840 you're struggling with, right, and so I'm definitely not gonna 0:08:49.920 --> 0:08:52.800 shame you, but I will say this, you have to 0:08:52.840 --> 0:08:56.320 set the boundary. I was at church yesterday too, and 0:08:56.480 --> 0:09:00.240 you know, I did not look at my phone one 0:09:00.280 --> 0:09:03.280 time because it's tucked away. You know. I think that 0:09:03.160 --> 0:09:06.600 there's an issue with us, even just as Americans in general, 0:09:06.640 --> 0:09:08.480 and a lot of people say like, oh, the Europeans 0:09:08.480 --> 0:09:09.679 are doing it the right way. You know, there are 0:09:09.679 --> 0:09:12.280 so many countries that have adopted four day work weeks now, 0:09:12.360 --> 0:09:15.080 especially after the pandemic, and I think it is the 0:09:15.160 --> 0:09:17.680 right way to do things. You know, two days for 0:09:17.720 --> 0:09:20.840 a weekend, you basically don't even have enough time to 0:09:20.920 --> 0:09:23.440 do things for you. So now it's allowing people that 0:09:23.520 --> 0:09:25.200 on a Friday, if they want to go to a 0:09:25.240 --> 0:09:27.679 doctor's office, that they have the ability to do that. 0:09:28.080 --> 0:09:29.680 Or you know, if they want to take off of 0:09:29.679 --> 0:09:32.160 Monday whatever whatever schedule it is that they're doing. But 0:09:32.200 --> 0:09:35.200 those boundaries have to be set by you. So I'm 0:09:35.240 --> 0:09:38.360 the opposite, honey, like I have started. Now, if you 0:09:38.480 --> 0:09:41.600 text me and if it's something that I don't immediately 0:09:41.640 --> 0:09:43.720 need to get back to you for I will, I 0:09:43.760 --> 0:09:46.080 will let you wait because I don't want to set 0:09:46.120 --> 0:09:48.200 that tone that I'm going to get back to you 0:09:48.360 --> 0:09:51.280 thirty seconds after you text me. When it's work related, 0:09:51.640 --> 0:09:54.400 you really do have to let people know I am 0:09:54.520 --> 0:09:59.240 not yours seven because you are not mine seven. When 0:09:59.280 --> 0:10:00.960 you have a question and then you need help and 0:10:01.040 --> 0:10:03.200 you reach out, are people that quick to get back 0:10:03.200 --> 0:10:05.679 to you. And I have coworkers that do it, and 0:10:05.800 --> 0:10:08.520 I admire them and I'm like wow, and I want 0:10:08.520 --> 0:10:10.520 to be like them that they have no problem being 0:10:10.520 --> 0:10:12.560 like I did not work at that time, or I 0:10:12.559 --> 0:10:14.680 do not work Saturday, so I do not work Sundays, 0:10:14.880 --> 0:10:18.160 or I work until five and Carolina, never in my 0:10:18.320 --> 0:10:21.320 life would I ever write some ship like that anywhere 0:10:21.320 --> 0:10:23.560 where someone that works with me can read I want 0:10:23.600 --> 0:10:27.160 to change, Well, is really like what it is? You know? 0:10:27.240 --> 0:10:30.640 And I mean and I think that your concern is 0:10:30.840 --> 0:10:32.880 something that you're putting on you. If somebody's going to 0:10:32.920 --> 0:10:34.920 be a jerk and be like wow, you know, she 0:10:35.080 --> 0:10:37.560 is an answering after you know, she came back from 0:10:37.559 --> 0:10:40.440 taking nine months. You were not on vacation, you were 0:10:40.640 --> 0:10:45.440 working on rebuilding your life literally, so you know what, 0:10:45.520 --> 0:10:47.319 if it takes you an hour to get back to somebody, 0:10:47.320 --> 0:10:48.880 they're going to have to deal with it. And look, 0:10:48.960 --> 0:10:52.120 I mean this is the issue. I think. If it's pressing, 0:10:52.240 --> 0:10:56.000 if it's urgent, absolutely get back to people. But if 0:10:56.040 --> 0:10:59.120 it's some bullshit, which you know, in our industry, people 0:10:59.160 --> 0:11:02.480 are email bullshit requests just to make sure that they 0:11:02.520 --> 0:11:05.079 look like they're working, you know what I mean. That's 0:11:05.080 --> 0:11:06.680 where I feel like you have to have a better 0:11:06.720 --> 0:11:09.040 filter of you know, and it's not easy. It's not 0:11:09.120 --> 0:11:11.959 easy for me either, you know. I mean it is. 0:11:13.240 --> 0:11:16.400 You'll be judged, you know, like at this one, she's 0:11:16.400 --> 0:11:19.400 a diva. Don't hit her after five, She'll be gone Friday. 0:11:19.400 --> 0:11:23.080 After five. You can't pay one, that's right, So keep 0:11:23.120 --> 0:11:25.840 talking about me while I'm out at five thirty with 0:11:25.880 --> 0:11:32.640 my girls relaxing because I deserve it. You know, there 0:11:32.640 --> 0:11:35.360 are ways even during just you know, just let's say 0:11:35.400 --> 0:11:38.520 Monday through Friday nine to five or whatever your schedule is. 0:11:38.679 --> 0:11:40.439 There are ways where you can take, you know, a 0:11:40.440 --> 0:11:42.080 little break, like I have a little list here that 0:11:42.120 --> 0:11:44.760 I want to share with our list in case, you know, 0:11:44.800 --> 0:11:48.040 in case somebody is struggling, but no cell phones, you know, 0:11:48.080 --> 0:11:50.839 while you're eating, like, no computer, no cell phone, put 0:11:50.880 --> 0:11:53.199 everything away. You know how you used to have breakfast 0:11:53.360 --> 0:11:55.000 and then you would go off a one hour lunch. 0:11:55.240 --> 0:11:57.480 You know, take an hour lunch. Don't look at your 0:11:57.480 --> 0:12:00.160 cell phone. I wouldn't even bring my computer home for 0:12:00.679 --> 0:12:04.600 the pandemic Carolina, honestly speaking. Also, you know, just take 0:12:04.640 --> 0:12:07.000 a break, you know, take a break after you're working. 0:12:07.080 --> 0:12:09.560 Let's take three hours, steady, take out a break, you know, 0:12:09.600 --> 0:12:11.760 even if it's a little walk. Go outside your house, 0:12:11.800 --> 0:12:13.839 get some fresh air, pop open the window, and you know, 0:12:14.000 --> 0:12:16.720 just look outside for like five minutes. Also, you know, 0:12:16.800 --> 0:12:19.640 set aside specific days and times to spend with your 0:12:19.720 --> 0:12:22.240 partner or spouse, your kids, your family. So I guess 0:12:22.280 --> 0:12:24.560 that would be Saturday and Sundays. And also get a 0:12:24.559 --> 0:12:26.760 good night sleep. Make sure that you know you're getting 0:12:26.760 --> 0:12:31.440 at least seven or eight hours of sleep if you can. Huh, 0:12:31.480 --> 0:12:35.679 that's oh seven to eight hours. I'm lucky if I 0:12:35.720 --> 0:12:37.960 get five. I went to bed at nine o'clock last 0:12:38.040 --> 0:12:41.040 night because we had something made your happening this morning. 0:12:41.080 --> 0:12:42.280 So I'm like, you know what, let me go to sleep, 0:12:42.360 --> 0:12:43.440 and you know, no, he was like, do you mind 0:12:43.480 --> 0:12:44.720 if I go out for a little while, you know, 0:12:44.760 --> 0:12:46.040 meet a friend for a drink, and you know what, 0:12:46.160 --> 0:12:48.000 I said, no, go for it. I'm the one that 0:12:48.000 --> 0:12:49.920 needs to be asleep at nine because I'm the one 0:12:49.960 --> 0:12:51.839 that needs to be up early. So you know, give 0:12:51.880 --> 0:12:54.440 him that freedom. Also, you know, make sure you're eating 0:12:54.720 --> 0:12:58.120 throughout the day, you know, and drinking your water. I 0:12:58.160 --> 0:13:00.720 think that so many people forget to do really, like 0:13:00.720 --> 0:13:03.040 you're so busy taking care of everybody else. You know. 0:13:03.320 --> 0:13:04.880 Me if you tell Acolf in the morning, you know, 0:13:04.920 --> 0:13:06.760 and he's like, you don't say, I'm like, hell, don't know, 0:13:06.840 --> 0:13:09.240 I'm busy, And I'm like, no, you know what, Yeah, 0:13:09.320 --> 0:13:11.720 bring me some grapes. I deserve to eat. You know. Yeah, 0:13:11.760 --> 0:13:14.120 my job is very important, but so am I. You know, 0:13:14.200 --> 0:13:15.840 make sure that if you guys are out here, you know, 0:13:16.000 --> 0:13:19.000 suffering from toxic productivity, Also that you're feeding yourself and 0:13:19.000 --> 0:13:21.959 you're nourishing yourself. Another thing is also, you know, detaching 0:13:22.000 --> 0:13:24.320 from social media. I don't know how you do that. 0:13:24.440 --> 0:13:26.839 I mean, honestly, I really don't, because that is your job. 0:13:27.040 --> 0:13:29.640 I detached a little too much, you know where I'm 0:13:29.679 --> 0:13:32.680 actually poked by our you know, people that work with 0:13:32.760 --> 0:13:35.400 us in the digital department sometimes they're like, hello, you know, 0:13:35.800 --> 0:13:37.640 you gotta engage. You've got to do this, but like 0:13:37.679 --> 0:13:40.680 you didn't do more. I know, and it's it's hard, 0:13:40.760 --> 0:13:42.760 but yeah, for us, like we constantly have to be 0:13:42.960 --> 0:13:45.080 looking at what celebrities are doing. Oh my god, such 0:13:45.080 --> 0:13:48.240 and such announced to tour three hours ago. You missed it. Okay, 0:13:48.240 --> 0:13:51.320 here I am looking like the ultimate slacker. But it's 0:13:51.360 --> 0:13:53.440 not that I wasn't on for three hours. I was 0:13:53.480 --> 0:13:55.559 working on a project, or I was on teams, or 0:13:55.600 --> 0:13:57.040 I was on here. You know, you have to detach 0:13:57.040 --> 0:13:59.040 on social media if you can, and you know, if 0:13:59.040 --> 0:14:01.880 it's really effective, you talk to a mental health professional. 0:14:01.880 --> 0:14:05.400 There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. Oh please my therapist. 0:14:05.559 --> 0:14:09.199 She has been working over time. She has been doing 0:14:09.360 --> 0:14:12.079 such a great job. Seriously, I mean, I really do 0:14:12.120 --> 0:14:15.520 I she's making that co pay, you know, I mean, 0:14:15.559 --> 0:14:17.680 I'm I think I may have purchased a purse for 0:14:17.760 --> 0:14:19.920 her or something she might have like cooked herself up with, 0:14:19.960 --> 0:14:23.400 like a nice jacket for fall or winter. From all 0:14:23.440 --> 0:14:25.840 the times that I've called her something that you brought 0:14:25.920 --> 0:14:29.080 up health we do should we do? Zoom appointments on 0:14:29.120 --> 0:14:31.640 Wednesday nights. I tell Mark, take the boys, go watch 0:14:31.680 --> 0:14:34.160 the Flash. I need my forty five minutes with my girl. 0:14:34.280 --> 0:14:36.880 He knows, he knows the drill. He gets bedtime started. 0:14:37.080 --> 0:14:40.440 And it has been one of the biggest, biggest things 0:14:40.520 --> 0:14:42.960 for me this past year that has been such a 0:14:43.000 --> 0:14:45.840 positive change. It really has. I've always gotten to therapy, 0:14:46.000 --> 0:14:48.720 but like really keeping that appointment and talking to her 0:14:48.800 --> 0:14:51.080 and and helping her understand kind of like what I'm 0:14:51.120 --> 0:14:53.560 going through. She has just been a tremendous help for me. 0:14:54.000 --> 0:14:56.000 Something that you said at the beginning of the list, though, 0:14:56.120 --> 0:14:58.640 is a major rule in our house, and I always 0:14:58.680 --> 0:15:01.360 say it to everybody in People don't believe me. We 0:15:01.400 --> 0:15:03.760 don't have phones at the dinner table. I still cook 0:15:03.840 --> 0:15:06.520 for my kids. We yes, like and I don't cook 0:15:06.600 --> 0:15:09.000 every night. I mean I'll even get like take out 0:15:09.120 --> 0:15:11.880 or you know, we got Chinese food last week, like whatever, 0:15:11.960 --> 0:15:14.040 you know, even if it's take I don't care. The 0:15:14.080 --> 0:15:16.560 only thing we are allowed to have at the dinner 0:15:16.600 --> 0:15:20.040 table is music on the alexa. I'm gonna definitely adopt 0:15:20.080 --> 0:15:22.160 that because you know, sometimes we go out to dinner 0:15:22.280 --> 0:15:24.880 and I'm like, we look stupid. We're spending all this 0:15:24.920 --> 0:15:26.480 money off to dinner and you're not talking to me, 0:15:26.480 --> 0:15:28.160 and I'm not talking to you, Like, what are you 0:15:28.200 --> 0:15:30.400 looking at? You didnt see that story I put up Moony, 0:15:30.440 --> 0:15:32.080 We're like at a rooftop. I'm like, what are you 0:15:32.120 --> 0:15:35.840 looking at? It was? But like, you know, I look 0:15:35.880 --> 0:15:38.280 at people like sometimes I spend the room and I'm like, 0:15:38.480 --> 0:15:40.640 not talking to each other, not talking to each other, 0:15:41.000 --> 0:15:44.880 entire family on their cell phones, first date, already, not interacting, 0:15:44.960 --> 0:15:46.440 and I'm like, I don't want to be that, and 0:15:46.480 --> 0:15:47.960 I'm like, put the phone away. And I'm gonna put 0:15:47.960 --> 0:15:50.400 my phone away too. So definitely gonna adopt that when 0:15:50.440 --> 0:15:53.280 it comes to the house too. Well, it's human connection, honey, 0:15:53.360 --> 0:15:55.040 you know, and it's like something that has turned into 0:15:55.080 --> 0:15:57.320 something really cool in our families. So it's like, you know, 0:15:57.560 --> 0:16:01.600 little Asher, Asher loves Kilroy the kid Roy Okay here, 0:16:02.200 --> 0:16:05.920 he's obsessed with him. So every night somebody gets to 0:16:06.000 --> 0:16:09.840 choose the music, and sometimes it's so sweet, like Noah 0:16:09.880 --> 0:16:12.360 puts on what he thinks I want to hear. So 0:16:12.440 --> 0:16:15.120 the other day he goes, Mommy, why don't we listen 0:16:15.200 --> 0:16:18.120 to um dinner jazz? And I said, we could listen 0:16:18.120 --> 0:16:21.520 to dinner jazz? Is that if you want? And he 0:16:21.640 --> 0:16:24.320 was like, mom, can we change this? I said, yeah, 0:16:24.360 --> 0:16:25.880 you know what. We tried it. We didn't like it, 0:16:25.920 --> 0:16:28.280 but this is my shot to like play for them 0:16:28.400 --> 0:16:30.640 music that they might not be exposed to, you know 0:16:30.680 --> 0:16:33.000 what I mean. So it's like, right now, no one's 0:16:33.040 --> 0:16:37.680 going through a real Eminem phase, you know, And that's 0:16:37.720 --> 0:16:41.200 my first I do not know. But if he loves something, 0:16:41.280 --> 0:16:44.400 he will research it. And he's going through his Eminem phase. 0:16:44.400 --> 0:16:46.160 And I said, you know, we listened to a couple 0:16:46.160 --> 0:16:47.560 of Eminem songs and I was like, this sounds a 0:16:47.560 --> 0:16:49.840 little angry for dinner. Can we switch it up? And 0:16:49.840 --> 0:16:51.600 then you know, But but but what I'm saying is 0:16:51.640 --> 0:16:54.840 like there's that human connection when we're talking about things. 0:16:54.920 --> 0:16:57.920 We're talking about something that he's interested in. We do 0:16:58.000 --> 0:17:01.360 not use any devices, whether it's at home or out. 0:17:01.400 --> 0:17:04.160 And Mark is a big believer in this because Mark 0:17:04.240 --> 0:17:06.960 doesn't is never on his phone, So it's a beautiful 0:17:06.960 --> 0:17:09.239 gift that we give each other and just connecting with 0:17:09.280 --> 0:17:11.960 the kids. And I think it's so important for people 0:17:12.000 --> 0:17:14.119 to like really try to start adopting that. Put your 0:17:14.160 --> 0:17:16.320 phone in your bedroom and leave it there, you know 0:17:16.359 --> 0:17:18.600 what I'm saying, Especially if you're on your phone all 0:17:18.720 --> 0:17:21.480 day when you work, put it on silent, put it away. 0:17:21.760 --> 0:17:25.000 Your family matters just as much as you your career 0:17:25.320 --> 0:17:27.879 or making money. And you know, feeling good, you know, 0:17:27.960 --> 0:17:31.560 feeling physically well and having a good mindset, it's also 0:17:31.600 --> 0:17:34.040 going to help you do better work. Right, you run 0:17:34.040 --> 0:17:36.119 yourself down to the ground and you're on twenty four 0:17:36.160 --> 0:17:39.920 hours day, you're of no good to nobody, work or family. 0:17:40.119 --> 0:17:42.480 It's like you have to be healthy in order to 0:17:42.520 --> 0:17:45.520 be properly successful. At least that's my take on it. 0:17:45.640 --> 0:17:50.760 Have you ever heard this term? My mom would say, 0:17:51.040 --> 0:17:55.280 it's like when you are just you are freaking done, 0:17:56.040 --> 0:17:59.159 like you are just spent. You know, for us, it's 0:17:59.840 --> 0:18:06.480 that that, yes, I mean it's like that's it, it's over. 0:18:06.800 --> 0:18:11.080 You don't squeeze was done. You know, no more ounces left, 0:18:11.119 --> 0:18:13.080 and you don't want to be that person, you know, 0:18:13.440 --> 0:18:15.359 it's very true. And I think that this is something 0:18:15.400 --> 0:18:18.119 that you may have realized too. It's like everybody always 0:18:18.119 --> 0:18:20.080