Speaker 1: I'm Honey German. My parents are Dominican. I was born
Speaker 1: and raised in New York City. I love sneakers and
Speaker 1: I'm a body positive advocate. I'm Carolina Bermudez, but i
Speaker 1: was born and raised in Ohio. I'm a wife, a mama,
Speaker 1: and a worker being. This is life in English. Looks
Speaker 1: like we are back at it again. I mean, every
Speaker 1: time we get a chance to hang together, it's always
Speaker 1: a good time, if you know what I mean. What's
Speaker 1: up guy? Since Carolina, it's so crazy because we record
Speaker 1: this for audio, but we are on video, and it's
Speaker 1: like before I was like, should I look good for Carolina?
Speaker 1: And then I was like, nah, she's getting to some
Speaker 1: block and that's all she's getting. I'm sorry, No, that's
Speaker 1: exactly what I'm giving you two. I mean, honestly, when
Speaker 1: you're working from home, I went through so many different
Speaker 1: phases of Okay, I'm gonna be motivated, I'm still gonna
Speaker 1: wake up at the same time, and then that quickly
Speaker 1: went away, and then it was like one hour later,
Speaker 1: so I really need to put on my my mascara today. Yeah,
Speaker 1: nobody's gonna see me. So now it's just like now
Speaker 1: you get the real me, which I love and that's
Speaker 1: a fact. Uh, let's see, so let's just check and
Speaker 1: make sure. We hope that you guys are enjoying the
Speaker 1: fact that we are back. We are loving that we
Speaker 1: can come back to you guys. Um it's almost like
Speaker 1: when you don't ride a bike for a long time,
Speaker 1: where you don't do an activity. You know, you're just
Speaker 1: we're finding our footing again, and it's just really crazy
Speaker 1: since we're still not in the office. You know what,
Speaker 1: It's great, Carolina. The whole time we did life in Spanish,
Speaker 1: it always just felt like a conversation between me and you.
Speaker 1: So it's like me it came back like Okay, now
Speaker 1: we're catching up every single week and we're recording it
Speaker 1: for other people to hear about it exactly. So No,
Speaker 1: we are just so glad that we are back on
Speaker 1: track and that we are giving you guys the shows,
Speaker 1: and we've been encouraging you to send us your info
Speaker 1: and any questions and stuff that you guys might have.
Speaker 1: But today we're going to talk about something that Honey
Speaker 1: wanted to discuss that I'm really interested in hearing all about.
Speaker 1: And I want you to set this up honey, because
Speaker 1: I feel like it's going to be so helpful to
Speaker 1: so many people. You know, it's it's something that I'm
Speaker 1: dealing with right now, and it's the dangerous trap of
Speaker 1: toxic productivity. What this means is when you're always on
Speaker 1: when it comes to work and being productive, and eventually
Speaker 1: it becomes plain o unhealthy and unhelpful. For a lot
Speaker 1: of us, being home for this past year or working
Speaker 1: from home means that we constantly want to be doing
Speaker 1: something one unproductive, especially when it comes to work. Me,
Speaker 1: I am so so big on like being honest, right,
Speaker 1: if I'm working from home, I want to constantly be working,
Speaker 1: even if it's just an amount of hours I'm supposed
Speaker 1: to be on. Let's say, like I work seven to
Speaker 1: three from the moment I wake up. I want to
Speaker 1: be productive and sometimes it's spilling over. Can I tell
Speaker 1: you this, Carolina, Like maybe like the two hours right
Speaker 1: before I wake up, I'm doing like an inventory in
Speaker 1: my sleep about what I need to get done. Oh
Speaker 1: so it's just starting from even when you're in bed. Yes,
Speaker 1: I'm doing the rundown. Like I never thought about what
Speaker 1: I needed to do when I got into the office
Speaker 1: before while I was sleeping. You probably thought about it
Speaker 1: though when you're commute, right, Like, I'm just wondering why
Speaker 1: you're instituting it now, like in your downtime maybe because
Speaker 1: like during your commute, you would have gotten on the
Speaker 1: training or the bus or whatever it is, and like
Speaker 1: you would have started plotting out like Okay, when I
Speaker 1: get to work, I'm gonna do X, Y and Z.
Speaker 1: So maybe because you've eliminated that step from your routine,
Speaker 1: maybe like while you're in bed, this is what's happening.
Speaker 1: I mean, for me, it translates as anxiety, like because
Speaker 1: I'm constantly going through like oh my gosh, did I
Speaker 1: do this? Did I forget this? A target? Do I
Speaker 1: need to go to b JS? Do I? You know
Speaker 1: what I mean? So if there's like a constant tally
Speaker 1: going on in my brain of the things that I
Speaker 1: need to take care of, but you know, it's crazy.
Speaker 1: At least I was waiting before. Now I'm sleeping doing
Speaker 1: I can't believe that. So what like is it dreaming
Speaker 1: or is it just for a state of sleep that
Speaker 1: you can remember, because I don't remember anything anymore. I'm
Speaker 1: semi conscious, Like I feel like, let's say we're making
Speaker 1: a big announcement. Yeah, by like five thirty six, I'm
Speaker 1: tossing and turning the announcement back to sleep a little bit,
Speaker 1: the announcement back to sleep a little bit, and you
Speaker 1: know this whole I guess I'm trying to be productive
Speaker 1: in my sleep. Isn't that crazy? I feel like it
Speaker 1: is definitely like a state of anxiety, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean, because like okay, for example, like your station
Speaker 1: was announcing that you were having a concert, like maybe
Speaker 1: it's in your subconscious you know what I mean, like
Speaker 1: all the things that you need to make sure that
Speaker 1: it gets executed the right way. And that one was big,
Speaker 1: like I was, I was leading, I was running a point,
Speaker 1: like everybody was coming to me for everything on this
Speaker 1: as far as the digital space goes. So yeah, you
Speaker 1: are right. I did have a lot of anxiety. I
Speaker 1: wanted to make sure that nothing went wrong. And it
Speaker 1: was like announced it was at seven am. Imagine I
Speaker 1: was a slept and ship didn't go off. I said,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, And that would happen to me. That
Speaker 1: would happen to me. It's always the days when you
Speaker 1: have like the most important thing or for me, when
Speaker 1: we were working at the building the days that we
Speaker 1: had an interview and I needed to get their extra early.
Speaker 1: There was an accident on the l I E. Jack
Speaker 1: Knife tractor trailer. You know what I mean. It was
Speaker 1: just like, those are the breaks. But that's why you
Speaker 1: gotta be able to roll with things. So something that
Speaker 1: my brother told me a long, long time ago, and
Speaker 1: I use it to this day. That's why my husband
Speaker 1: makes so much fun of me, because I love office supplies.
Speaker 1: I love little notebooks. I love jotting things down. And
Speaker 1: my brother actually told me. He's like, whenever you have
Speaker 1: a thought, and this is my brother Rene, whenever you
Speaker 1: get overwhelmed, because I always have a million things going
Speaker 1: on in my head. He said, whenever you have a thought,
Speaker 1: write it down. And he's like, and I'm not talking
Speaker 1: about notes in your iPhone. Get yourself a little notepad
Speaker 1: and it doesn't even matter. It's almost extreme of consciousness.
Speaker 1: You know. I'll think of something funny, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean, Like that somebody else is I'm like, oh
Speaker 1: my gosh, that's funny. I want to use that. I'll
Speaker 1: write that down. Or if I think of a birthday
Speaker 1: idea for my kids in the future, I'll be like,
Speaker 1: oh wow, I could do this for their minecraft birthday.
Speaker 1: Even if I don't use it. It's there and I
Speaker 1: could exactly. And I see that you have a notebook now,
Speaker 1: so is this like something that you're doing too, Like
Speaker 1: I like to like make notes when I do meetings
Speaker 1: and stuff. I take notes because always somebody comes back
Speaker 1: and they're like, oh no, that wasn't said. I'm like, yes,
Speaker 1: it was. Reverts back to notes and I'm be over
Speaker 1: here with my little paper and he keeps seats everybody.
Speaker 1: It's like, now how we're moving differently. It's like, now
Speaker 1: we'll be in the meeting a bunch of people talking
Speaker 1: over each other. I might hear something that you don't hear,
Speaker 1: and I can come back to you and be like, hey,
Speaker 1: we miss this step. Going back to toxic productivity, right,
Speaker 1: I feel like it's a service, Like we feel like
Speaker 1: we're being productive. Oh my god, I'm making so much
Speaker 1: use of my time and from seven am to nine
Speaker 1: pm I'm busy. But it's taking a toll on a
Speaker 1: lot of people mentally, you know, And now you're not
Speaker 1: even being as productive as you can be because you're
Speaker 1: burnt out and it's just plainal unhealthy in my opinion,
Speaker 1: you know, and it's unrealistic that as a human we
Speaker 1: can constantly be productive, like all day and all night.
Speaker 1: There's a reason why they said, you know, I mean,
Speaker 1: and I don't know a lot of different religions, like
Speaker 1: they believe differently, but there's a reason why you have
Speaker 1: a day of rest in the week you're supposed to.
Speaker 1: Your body needs it, your heart needs it. You do
Speaker 1: you need to just press the resept But then we
Speaker 1: are just constantly on go serio to sleep. And that's
Speaker 1: where I think the lines are blurred. I don't know
Speaker 1: how to set boundaries. If somebody emails me at a
Speaker 1: p M. I'm answering by eight oh three, And that's
Speaker 1: something I'm struggling with. That is toxic productivity. Even like
Speaker 1: let's say, like, yes, jirty, I was in church, right,
Speaker 1: I'm getting messages on teams asking for things, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: why am I in the middle of a sermon checking teams?
Speaker 1: Like You've got to fix yourself. This is not good
Speaker 1: for you. I aven like constantly checking emails, text teams,
Speaker 1: d ms, like I want to make sure I don't
Speaker 1: miss anything. But then I know other people that would
Speaker 1: never even think about checking anything work related on a
Speaker 1: on a weekend, nonetheless on a Sunday. I'm like, teach
Speaker 1: me your ways, please, because you know, like I took
Speaker 1: some time off from work, but I still don't want
Speaker 1: to be viewed as like, oh, because you had a stroke,
Speaker 1: you're not as productive, or because you had a stroke,
Speaker 1: like you know, things are falling behind. So I'm like
Speaker 1: constantly trying to like overprove myself, not even just prove myself,
Speaker 1: overproved myself. I'm the one that answers in one minute.
Speaker 1: I'm the one that if somebody needs something converted into something,
Speaker 1: I'm doing it. And it's killing me. I'm not even
Speaker 1: gonna lie to you. It's killing me. And it's killing
Speaker 1: my relationship to a certain extent because my husband can't
Speaker 1: have a conversation with me over dinner without me making
Speaker 1: sure I'm checking the Holy Trinity, which is text message
Speaker 1: email teams, and I keep repeating the same circle, you know,
Speaker 1: at least once an hour, even when I'm not on
Speaker 1: the clock. And I'm sure I'm not the only one
Speaker 1: suffering from this, especially we're working from home. You know,
Speaker 1: you know what your boss to think, like you're slacking
Speaker 1: off because they're not seeing you before. It's like, fuck it.
Speaker 1: As long as I'm here, they know I'm here and
Speaker 1: I'm working. But it's like working from home now it's changing. Well, Okay,
Speaker 1: first of all, I appreciate your honesty because I think
Speaker 1: that you are being very forthright and honest about what
Speaker 1: you're struggling with, right, and so I'm definitely not gonna
Speaker 1: shame you, but I will say this, you have to
Speaker 1: set the boundary. I was at church yesterday too, and
Speaker 1: you know, I did not look at my phone one
Speaker 1: time because it's tucked away. You know. I think that
Speaker 1: there's an issue with us, even just as Americans in general,
Speaker 1: and a lot of people say like, oh, the Europeans
Speaker 1: are doing it the right way. You know, there are
Speaker 1: so many countries that have adopted four day work weeks now,
Speaker 1: especially after the pandemic, and I think it is the
Speaker 1: right way to do things. You know, two days for
Speaker 1: a weekend, you basically don't even have enough time to
Speaker 1: do things for you. So now it's allowing people that
Speaker 1: on a Friday, if they want to go to a
Speaker 1: doctor's office, that they have the ability to do that.
Speaker 1: Or you know, if they want to take off of
Speaker 1: Monday whatever whatever schedule it is that they're doing. But
Speaker 1: those boundaries have to be set by you. So I'm
Speaker 1: the opposite, honey, like I have started. Now, if you
Speaker 1: text me and if it's something that I don't immediately
Speaker 1: need to get back to you for I will, I
Speaker 1: will let you wait because I don't want to set
Speaker 1: that tone that I'm going to get back to you
Speaker 1: thirty seconds after you text me. When it's work related,
Speaker 1: you really do have to let people know I am
Speaker 1: not yours seven because you are not mine seven. When
Speaker 1: you have a question and then you need help and
Speaker 1: you reach out, are people that quick to get back
Speaker 1: to you. And I have coworkers that do it, and
Speaker 1: I admire them and I'm like wow, and I want
Speaker 1: to be like them that they have no problem being
Speaker 1: like I did not work at that time, or I
Speaker 1: do not work Saturday, so I do not work Sundays,
Speaker 1: or I work until five and Carolina, never in my
Speaker 1: life would I ever write some ship like that anywhere
Speaker 1: where someone that works with me can read I want
Speaker 1: to change, Well, is really like what it is? You know?
Speaker 1: And I mean and I think that your concern is
Speaker 1: something that you're putting on you. If somebody's going to
Speaker 1: be a jerk and be like wow, you know, she
Speaker 1: is an answering after you know, she came back from
Speaker 1: taking nine months. You were not on vacation, you were
Speaker 1: working on rebuilding your life literally, so you know what,
Speaker 1: if it takes you an hour to get back to somebody,
Speaker 1: they're going to have to deal with it. And look,
Speaker 1: I mean this is the issue. I think. If it's pressing,
Speaker 1: if it's urgent, absolutely get back to people. But if
Speaker 1: it's some bullshit, which you know, in our industry, people
Speaker 1: are email bullshit requests just to make sure that they
Speaker 1: look like they're working, you know what I mean. That's
Speaker 1: where I feel like you have to have a better
Speaker 1: filter of you know, and it's not easy. It's not
Speaker 1: easy for me either, you know. I mean it is.
Speaker 1: You'll be judged, you know, like at this one, she's
Speaker 1: a diva. Don't hit her after five, She'll be gone Friday.
Speaker 1: After five. You can't pay one, that's right, So keep
Speaker 1: talking about me while I'm out at five thirty with
Speaker 1: my girls relaxing because I deserve it. You know, there
Speaker 1: are ways even during just you know, just let's say
Speaker 1: Monday through Friday nine to five or whatever your schedule is.
Speaker 1: There are ways where you can take, you know, a
Speaker 1: little break, like I have a little list here that
Speaker 1: I want to share with our list in case, you know,
Speaker 1: in case somebody is struggling, but no cell phones, you know,
Speaker 1: while you're eating, like, no computer, no cell phone, put
Speaker 1: everything away. You know how you used to have breakfast
Speaker 1: and then you would go off a one hour lunch.
Speaker 1: You know, take an hour lunch. Don't look at your
Speaker 1: cell phone. I wouldn't even bring my computer home for
Speaker 1: the pandemic Carolina, honestly speaking. Also, you know, just take
Speaker 1: a break, you know, take a break after you're working.
Speaker 1: Let's take three hours, steady, take out a break, you know,
Speaker 1: even if it's a little walk. Go outside your house,
Speaker 1: get some fresh air, pop open the window, and you know,
Speaker 1: just look outside for like five minutes. Also, you know,
Speaker 1: set aside specific days and times to spend with your
Speaker 1: partner or spouse, your kids, your family. So I guess
Speaker 1: that would be Saturday and Sundays. And also get a
Speaker 1: good night sleep. Make sure that you know you're getting
Speaker 1: at least seven or eight hours of sleep if you can. Huh,
Speaker 1: that's oh seven to eight hours. I'm lucky if I
Speaker 1: get five. I went to bed at nine o'clock last
Speaker 1: night because we had something made your happening this morning.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, you know what, let me go to sleep,
Speaker 1: and you know, no, he was like, do you mind
Speaker 1: if I go out for a little while, you know,
Speaker 1: meet a friend for a drink, and you know what,
Speaker 1: I said, no, go for it. I'm the one that
Speaker 1: needs to be asleep at nine because I'm the one
Speaker 1: that needs to be up early. So you know, give
Speaker 1: him that freedom. Also, you know, make sure you're eating
Speaker 1: throughout the day, you know, and drinking your water. I
Speaker 1: think that so many people forget to do really, like
Speaker 1: you're so busy taking care of everybody else. You know.
Speaker 1: Me if you tell Acolf in the morning, you know,
Speaker 1: and he's like, you don't say, I'm like, hell, don't know,
Speaker 1: I'm busy, And I'm like, no, you know what, Yeah,
Speaker 1: bring me some grapes. I deserve to eat. You know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: my job is very important, but so am I. You know,
Speaker 1: make sure that if you guys are out here, you know,
Speaker 1: suffering from toxic productivity, Also that you're feeding yourself and
Speaker 1: you're nourishing yourself. Another thing is also, you know, detaching
Speaker 1: from social media. I don't know how you do that.
Speaker 1: I mean, honestly, I really don't, because that is your job.
Speaker 1: I detached a little too much, you know where I'm
Speaker 1: actually poked by our you know, people that work with
Speaker 1: us in the digital department sometimes they're like, hello, you know,
Speaker 1: you gotta engage. You've got to do this, but like
Speaker 1: you didn't do more. I know, and it's it's hard,
Speaker 1: but yeah, for us, like we constantly have to be
Speaker 1: looking at what celebrities are doing. Oh my god, such
Speaker 1: and such announced to tour three hours ago. You missed it. Okay,
Speaker 1: here I am looking like the ultimate slacker. But it's
Speaker 1: not that I wasn't on for three hours. I was
Speaker 1: working on a project, or I was on teams, or
Speaker 1: I was on here. You know, you have to detach
Speaker 1: on social media if you can, and you know, if
Speaker 1: it's really effective, you talk to a mental health professional.
Speaker 1: There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. Oh please my therapist.
Speaker 1: She has been working over time. She has been doing
Speaker 1: such a great job. Seriously, I mean, I really do
Speaker 1: I she's making that co pay, you know, I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm I think I may have purchased a purse for
Speaker 1: her or something she might have like cooked herself up with,
Speaker 1: like a nice jacket for fall or winter. From all
Speaker 1: the times that I've called her something that you brought
Speaker 1: up health we do should we do? Zoom appointments on
Speaker 1: Wednesday nights. I tell Mark, take the boys, go watch
Speaker 1: the Flash. I need my forty five minutes with my girl.
Speaker 1: He knows, he knows the drill. He gets bedtime started.
Speaker 1: And it has been one of the biggest, biggest things
Speaker 1: for me this past year that has been such a
Speaker 1: positive change. It really has. I've always gotten to therapy,
Speaker 1: but like really keeping that appointment and talking to her
Speaker 1: and and helping her understand kind of like what I'm
Speaker 1: going through. She has just been a tremendous help for me.
Speaker 1: Something that you said at the beginning of the list, though,
Speaker 1: is a major rule in our house, and I always
Speaker 1: say it to everybody in People don't believe me. We
Speaker 1: don't have phones at the dinner table. I still cook
Speaker 1: for my kids. We yes, like and I don't cook
Speaker 1: every night. I mean I'll even get like take out
Speaker 1: or you know, we got Chinese food last week, like whatever,
Speaker 1: you know, even if it's take I don't care. The
Speaker 1: only thing we are allowed to have at the dinner
Speaker 1: table is music on the alexa. I'm gonna definitely adopt
Speaker 1: that because you know, sometimes we go out to dinner
Speaker 1: and I'm like, we look stupid. We're spending all this
Speaker 1: money off to dinner and you're not talking to me,
Speaker 1: and I'm not talking to you, Like, what are you
Speaker 1: looking at? You didnt see that story I put up Moony,
Speaker 1: We're like at a rooftop. I'm like, what are you
Speaker 1: looking at? It was? But like, you know, I look
Speaker 1: at people like sometimes I spend the room and I'm like,
Speaker 1: not talking to each other, not talking to each other,
Speaker 1: entire family on their cell phones, first date, already, not interacting,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I don't want to be that, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, put the phone away. And I'm gonna put
Speaker 1: my phone away too. So definitely gonna adopt that when
Speaker 1: it comes to the house too. Well, it's human connection, honey,
Speaker 1: you know, and it's like something that has turned into
Speaker 1: something really cool in our families. So it's like, you know,
Speaker 1: little Asher, Asher loves Kilroy the kid Roy Okay here,
Speaker 1: he's obsessed with him. So every night somebody gets to
Speaker 1: choose the music, and sometimes it's so sweet, like Noah
Speaker 1: puts on what he thinks I want to hear. So
Speaker 1: the other day he goes, Mommy, why don't we listen
Speaker 1: to um dinner jazz? And I said, we could listen
Speaker 1: to dinner jazz? Is that if you want? And he
Speaker 1: was like, mom, can we change this? I said, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know what. We tried it. We didn't like it,
Speaker 1: but this is my shot to like play for them
Speaker 1: music that they might not be exposed to, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. So it's like, right now, no one's
Speaker 1: going through a real Eminem phase, you know, And that's
Speaker 1: my first I do not know. But if he loves something,
Speaker 1: he will research it. And he's going through his Eminem phase.
Speaker 1: And I said, you know, we listened to a couple
Speaker 1: of Eminem songs and I was like, this sounds a
Speaker 1: little angry for dinner. Can we switch it up? And
Speaker 1: then you know, But but but what I'm saying is
Speaker 1: like there's that human connection when we're talking about things.
Speaker 1: We're talking about something that he's interested in. We do
Speaker 1: not use any devices, whether it's at home or out.
Speaker 1: And Mark is a big believer in this because Mark
Speaker 1: doesn't is never on his phone, So it's a beautiful
Speaker 1: gift that we give each other and just connecting with
Speaker 1: the kids. And I think it's so important for people
Speaker 1: to like really try to start adopting that. Put your
Speaker 1: phone in your bedroom and leave it there, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, Especially if you're on your phone all
Speaker 1: day when you work, put it on silent, put it away.
Speaker 1: Your family matters just as much as you your career
Speaker 1: or making money. And you know, feeling good, you know,
Speaker 1: feeling physically well and having a good mindset, it's also
Speaker 1: going to help you do better work. Right, you run
Speaker 1: yourself down to the ground and you're on twenty four
Speaker 1: hours day, you're of no good to nobody, work or family.
Speaker 1: It's like you have to be healthy in order to
Speaker 1: be properly successful. At least that's my take on it.
Speaker 1: Have you ever heard this term? My mom would say,
Speaker 1: it's like when you are just you are freaking done,
Speaker 1: like you are just spent. You know, for us, it's
Speaker 1: that that, yes, I mean it's like that's it, it's over.
Speaker 1: You don't squeeze was done. You know, no more ounces left,
Speaker 1: and you don't want to be that person, you know,
Speaker 1: it's very true. And I think that this is something
Speaker 1: that you may have realized too. It's like everybody always
Speaker 1: talks about my job, my job, my job, Your job
Speaker 1: is not going to be there when you need them.
Speaker 1: Like I remember these memes saying like if you die,
Speaker 1: like your job will post your job within the next week.
Speaker 1: Don't even give them a week. They might do it
Speaker 1: in twenty four hours, you know what I mean, hold on,
Speaker 1: hold on, yeah, And it's like and then you're sacrificing
Speaker 1: your time with the people who actually would be there
Speaker 1: for you or would actually care, you know, about your existence.
Speaker 1: So that's where I think that we really need to
Speaker 1: shift our thinking. And it's a good conversation to have, like, look,
Speaker 1: we're not perfect. I know. I definitely fall into the
Speaker 1: trap sometimes, you know. And even I feel like it
Speaker 1: was a month or two ago, I got asked to
Speaker 1: do something for work at five thirty that same PM,
Speaker 1: and I felt that same pressure and it's like, listen,
Speaker 1: I've been up since four thirty in the morning doing
Speaker 1: the morning show. You're gonna ask me to do something
Speaker 1: five thirty. That's prime time with my kids, man, you know.
Speaker 1: But it was the one off and I said, you
Speaker 1: know what, I want them to rely on me. I
Speaker 1: want them to see that I am a good worker
Speaker 1: and that's the reason why I committed to it, you know.
Speaker 1: But like I have no regrets about doing things like that.
Speaker 1: It's when it becomes a pattern that you've got to
Speaker 1: like set your boundaries. Also, we're with our you know,
Speaker 1: field of work. Let's say, like we do commercials. Sometimes
Speaker 1: it's like somebody like, oh, I need this like right now.
Speaker 1: And then it's just like you think, like do I
Speaker 1: want this person to be like I'm never working with
Speaker 1: you again? Or do you want this person like, oh wow,
Speaker 1: thank you so much. And then more money comes later,
Speaker 1: So it's like it's a weird. It's a weird. It's
Speaker 1: like such a little gray area because you want to
Speaker 1: stay in your ground and be like, nah, how are
Speaker 1: you expecting to find a studio right now and record
Speaker 1: this and have it over like in ten minutes, Like
Speaker 1: come on, give me a couple of days to get
Speaker 1: this together. But then it's like, Okay, if this person
Speaker 1: gonna get mad at me and never use me again, well,
Speaker 1: but you know what, honey, then I'm thinking about people
Speaker 1: who might be listening to us right now. So let's
Speaker 1: let's think about that. And they're not in our industry
Speaker 1: and they're not working the jobs that we are. Like
Speaker 1: maybe you are a nurse, or maybe you are a
Speaker 1: healthcare practitioner, maybe you are a teacher, and you're feeling
Speaker 1: the same way because it is not industry specific, you know, really,
Speaker 1: you know it's not and it's just like everybody right now,
Speaker 1: it's just like, you know, you want to keep your job.
Speaker 1: You know, it's it's it's hard out here. You want
Speaker 1: to keep your job. It's like, let's say, like when
Speaker 1: I was in the legal field, right sometimes they'd be like, Okay,
Speaker 1: we're going to trial next week. You know, oh you
Speaker 1: have to stay, and it's like and you would be
Speaker 1: a salary employee. There's no hourly or anything like that,
Speaker 1: and then it's just like how do you get up
Speaker 1: and just walk. Let's say you're a paralegal right now, working,
Speaker 1: like how do you set your boundaries? Yeah, all the
Speaker 1: lawyers are there, but guess what they own the firm.
Speaker 1: They want to stay there till nine ten o'clock a night. Really,
Speaker 1: that's on them. If you're not getting paid one more penny,
Speaker 1: like you might just want to leave and go make
Speaker 1: dinner for your kids and you know, spend some time
Speaker 1: with your husband. It's so hard. It's so hard. I
Speaker 1: mean in theory it sounds so great. It's just adopting
Speaker 1: these things and finding that voice to be able to say, like, no,
Speaker 1: I can't stay until nine o'clock at night because I'm
Speaker 1: not making the same money that you do. I can't
Speaker 1: pay my sitter to stay an extra three hours because
Speaker 1: I'm making X amount of money, you know. I mean,
Speaker 1: there's just this is just such an epidemic in our
Speaker 1: country and it's something that needs to be addressed. And
Speaker 1: you know what's crazy, Carolina. Like in the legal field,
Speaker 1: I was always like office manager in charge of the paralegals,
Speaker 1: you know, and sometimes uh, we would interview people and
Speaker 1: the lawyers would be like, oh no, she talked about kids.
Speaker 1: Hell no, she's gonna want to leave on time every day? Na, Na, No,
Speaker 1: what about the other one? Did she have kids? You know,
Speaker 1: as illegal as that is at witness it, you know, like,
Speaker 1: oh no, what she says she has kids and what
Speaker 1: time childcare? And then you might not even get that shot.
Speaker 1: So it's like, if you do have the job now
Speaker 1: as a mom, you don't want to be like, I
Speaker 1: gotta leave. You don't want to lose your job, especially
Speaker 1: when you work in private that from one day to another,
Speaker 1: they were like, nah, that's it, pack your desk, today's
Speaker 1: your last day. Because you know, a lot of jobs
Speaker 1: don't even give you notice because they don't want you
Speaker 1: to go do no craziness, you know. But I have
Speaker 1: been in rooms where the bosses or the hiring partners
Speaker 1: might be like, nah, the one way kids. You know,
Speaker 1: she's always gonna want to be off on holidays. You know,
Speaker 1: she's always gonna talk about babysitter and busses. So it's
Speaker 1: it's even harder from moms, you know, to set those
Speaker 1: boundaries because you don't want to be viewed as the
Speaker 1: one that never can stay late. I don't care. I
Speaker 1: tell it. I tell it, and I don't care because
Speaker 1: it's my truth. And and I feel like I am
Speaker 1: doing a service to other women, maybe the women that
Speaker 1: are coming up behind me that will, you know, or
Speaker 1: after me, I tell the truth because like, for example,
Speaker 1: we can't find a nanny. You guys, tell me right
Speaker 1: now that you have been looking for childcare. There are
Speaker 1: a ton of people who are in the same position
Speaker 1: that I am right, I can't do certain things. I
Speaker 1: gotta get my kids on the bus. This is my
Speaker 1: life situation. And as a manager, people need to understand
Speaker 1: you have different types of individuals working for you. So
Speaker 1: I don't hide any of that stuff. Do I try
Speaker 1: to make it happen? Yes, I do, because I do
Speaker 1: love and value my job. But I also think it's
Speaker 1: important for people like me to set up that those
Speaker 1: those realistic scenarios because guess what, I do need to
Speaker 1: be home by three pm to get my kids off
Speaker 1: the bus or they're taking these little guys back to school,
Speaker 1: and I'm not willing to have them, no, for real,
Speaker 1: and I don't want them to have this traumatic experience
Speaker 1: all like, oh my mom was late and they made
Speaker 1: just go back to school and going back to school
Speaker 1: and the bus, understand, And that's why I'm like, people
Speaker 1: have all these thoughts too, you know, they get worried.
Speaker 1: It's fear exactly, and I'm not willing to do that
Speaker 1: for my kids. So guess what, you don't get all
Speaker 1: of me right now because I have a bigger responsibility
Speaker 1: my humans, my babies are more important than this job.
Speaker 1: If I can make it happen. I will, but if
Speaker 1: I can't, not gonna do it. And I think that
Speaker 1: it's important for women who are in this position to
Speaker 1: be more outspoken. I know it's scary, but I do
Speaker 1: it all the time. And I even will stay to
Speaker 1: my manager. I know you can't relate, but this is
Speaker 1: my situation. But because he doesn't have children, you know,
Speaker 1: And and I'll always preface it with that, you know.
Speaker 1: So it's not like we're looking for a way out,
Speaker 1: it's we're looking for understanding. No, And it's a it's
Speaker 1: a huge responsibility. It's a whole another little human that
Speaker 1: can't care for himself. I don't even going to ask
Speaker 1: me why I love my eight my six year old alone,
Speaker 1: because now you've got that for real. I mean think
Speaker 1: about that, talk about knock knock knock, not to not me, honey,
Speaker 1: not me. So now you know that's like the furthest extreme.
Speaker 1: But you know you've got to like think of things.
Speaker 1: And that's where it's like toxic productivity really does come
Speaker 1: into play, especially post COVID, especially when you have people
Speaker 1: asking you to do more at different times, and you know,
Speaker 1: for me, I just say, we have to find a balance.
Speaker 1: You've got to give a little, and you've got you
Speaker 1: you do. You have to give a little in certain scenarios,
Speaker 1: and then you have to also take a little too. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, I'll be like, Okay, let me do it
Speaker 1: this one time, Carolina. Do you feel like you work
Speaker 1: more now during COVID that you work from home? I
Speaker 1: work differently, I'll say that I do. I work differently.
Speaker 1: Like you know, there were a bunch of meetings and things,
Speaker 1: like back in the day, they would be like, oh,
Speaker 1: do you want to meet and I'm making up this
Speaker 1: uh you know, I'll say like, oh, do you want
Speaker 1: to meet with this yogurt company at three pm? I'm
Speaker 1: like three pm? I can't, you know. Or whenever they
Speaker 1: would have like these client meetings, they would always be
Speaker 1: like in the middle of the afternoon at the most
Speaker 1: inopportune times, and you have to suck it up. You're like, yes,
Speaker 1: I you know, I'll be there. Now. What's happening is
Speaker 1: they're asking you to either do videos or join zooms
Speaker 1: do these client meets, and you feel like you can't
Speaker 1: say no because you don't have to physically be there.
Speaker 1: So I'm doing more of those because now I actually
Speaker 1: can do them, you know what I mean? Whereas before
Speaker 1: I physically sometimes I would be like I'll pop in,
Speaker 1: but then I gotta get on the l I E.
Speaker 1: Because I need you know, traffic and you know whatever.
Speaker 1: For me, it definitely, I don't know why I feel
Speaker 1: like I worked twice as hard again, It's because I'm
Speaker 1: having this problem setting boundaries. Let's say I work seven
Speaker 1: to three. Never in my life at three pm would
Speaker 1: I stop answering emails till tomorrow at seven am. So
Speaker 1: it's just no for sure. And let's say meetings now
Speaker 1: that now that we work from home, people don't care
Speaker 1: scheduling three meetings back to back, Like let's say Thursday Thursday,
Speaker 1: I had five meetings Carolina five. When I used to
Speaker 1: go in, I would have one meeting on Wednesday's at
Speaker 1: twelve thirty that and then every now and then that
Speaker 1: was like a recurring meeting. And then every now and
Speaker 1: then maybe something else would come up and then we
Speaker 1: would you know, huddle up. But now people don't care.
Speaker 1: They look at your calendar and they're like, oh, you
Speaker 1: have a break right here at boom meeting, meeting, meeting,
Speaker 1: So yeah, the slickest like sneakiest thing that I think
Speaker 1: people are doing now looking at your outlook, I'm like,
Speaker 1: that is wrong. Do not even and I always tell
Speaker 1: people I don't update my outlook, so you don't even
Speaker 1: know what's going on in my life, you know, you know,
Speaker 1: we also use teams, and on teams, everyone can see
Speaker 1: your calendar that they can see if you're on a call,
Speaker 1: they can see if you're in a meeting. They can
Speaker 1: see if you're sharing your screen. They can see when
Speaker 1: you have free times. Sometimes somebody will come back like, oh,
Speaker 1: I looked at everyone's calendar Thursday at to everyone in
Speaker 1: the street and boom, guess what meeting? Nah, this technology
Speaker 1: is not for me. I'm telling you, I want to
Speaker 1: be off the grid. I want to be incognito witness protection.
Speaker 1: Do not calendar. It says last scene. So if you
Speaker 1: if you don't look at at teams, let's stay for
Speaker 1: two hours. Let's say it'll say last scene at a
Speaker 1: forty am. And then you don't want that because they
Speaker 1: come like, where you've been for two hours? You're not working? Yeah,
Speaker 1: well you know what my work is in other areas too.
Speaker 1: Come on, Like I know people who are like hold
Speaker 1: on I'll be on the phone with them, like hold on,
Speaker 1: let me move my mouth so that they can see
Speaker 1: that I'm active. It's a lot of pressure, I'll tell you.
Speaker 1: That is so intrusive. That is really I am so
Speaker 1: glad we don't work on that system because I'll be
Speaker 1: honest with you. I don't need anybody knowing what I'm
Speaker 1: doing where I'm going, you know what I mean, Like
Speaker 1: I moved differently, and I don't need you guys keeping
Speaker 1: taps on me like that. This is crazy. Do you
Speaker 1: want to talk about something fun? I feel like we
Speaker 1: need a little vino right now for this. I want
Speaker 1: to talk about Jennifer Loglus you like I would think
Speaker 1: of benefit. I just think that j Lo can do
Speaker 1: no wrong. Somebody asked me if I was over her,
Speaker 1: and I said never in my life. I don't. I
Speaker 1: want her to keep being the most extra. I want
Speaker 1: her to wear her her own face on her T shirt.
Speaker 1: I want I want her to do these things for us,
Speaker 1: do it. I was watching Latino videos on Vivo and
Speaker 1: where she wore the cut off, the booty cutoffs and
Speaker 1: she was on the in the beach on all fours.
Speaker 1: I haven't seen it, girl, This well it's a little older.
Speaker 1: But I wish I just happened to catch it. I
Speaker 1: had never actually seen it, And I'm like, bro, this
Speaker 1: woman is insanely talented, you know. I know people like
Speaker 1: to get on her about her voice. But whatever the
Speaker 1: fact that she's been able to parlay this career all
Speaker 1: these years without having pipes please stop. But yeah, but no.
Speaker 1: But the fact that she did, you know, bring job
Speaker 1: role on on set, you know, and she brought it
Speaker 1: back to our roots, you know, her day one roots.
Speaker 1: It made me proud, and you know, a lot of
Speaker 1: us have to do this still. You know, when I
Speaker 1: when I ride around Manhattan, I saw my husband bring
Speaker 1: me to a hundred and fifty first and Broadway. That's
Speaker 1: my building. You know what I'm saying, I want to
Speaker 1: go see my old hood. You know what's crazy, Carolina.
Speaker 1: My family had that apartment for like twenty years when
Speaker 1: my thea lived there, my mom's sister, and I was
Speaker 1: able to go and I would knock on the door
Speaker 1: and I would go see my old bedroom and it
Speaker 1: was amazing. It pains me to know that, you know,
Speaker 1: we no longer have this apartment health hostage from its landlord.
Speaker 1: You guys got rid of that ring control. What what
Speaker 1: were you thinking? Girl? It was my I was being greedy.
Speaker 1: She probably got like fifty g's and and moved along,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. But we had that since
Speaker 1: I went to elementary school, and I always tell my
Speaker 1: husband drive me two D and first history, that's your history,
Speaker 1: you know, and it just feels good and it kind
Speaker 1: of like grounds you once again once you start getting
Speaker 1: detached and like where you came from, you know, where
Speaker 1: your hood was from, like your roots. So watching them
Speaker 1: together on stage that it made me feel good and
Speaker 1: made me feel like, wow, j Loo, you're kind of
Speaker 1: still one of us. Yeah, so it's definitely speaks. So yeah,
Speaker 1: definitely my bank account does not look like j Lo's.
Speaker 1: Uh there does my pancake booty. But that's another episode
Speaker 1: that we can discuss. Uh No. But for real, I
Speaker 1: think going back to like staying connected to your roots,
Speaker 1: who you are, where are you're from. I think that
Speaker 1: that's the reason why I'm always so proud to tell
Speaker 1: people that, like, I'm from Ohio, this little small town.
Speaker 1: And then whenever people like whenever people acknowledge as they're like,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, you know I thought that you were
Speaker 1: from Miami or I thought you were a New Yorker.
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, you know, it is good to always remember, like,
Speaker 1: you know, because it takes you back to those days
Speaker 1: when you were hungry, when you wanted something, you know,
Speaker 1: and and it connects you to a different set of people,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, Like, I'm not embarrassed. It's like, yo,
Speaker 1: I remember on Riverside dry when the Welfare of bus
Speaker 1: pulled up and I stood on Lyne waiting for my
Speaker 1: government cheese. Girl, that government cheese was big. We made
Speaker 1: grill cheese probably for years off that big. But you know,
Speaker 1: you know, it gives you. You know, people want people
Speaker 1: that are relatable. They don't want to admire you. They
Speaker 1: don't want to empty you. You know I'm saying, granted, yeah,
Speaker 1: oh nice office, oh right here, but are you like me?
Speaker 1: And you know that's always been my goal, just to
Speaker 1: make you know, let's say, our listeners here feel like
Speaker 1: I can relate to them and they can relate to me.
Speaker 1: I don't want you to admire me. I don't want
Speaker 1: you to empty me. I don't want you to be
Speaker 1: your relationship goals. I just want you to feel like
Speaker 1: I understand where you came from and your pain. You
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. And it's just sharing who we are,
Speaker 1: where we come from, and even revisiting it makes you,
Speaker 1: it makes you look like, yeah, you know what she
Speaker 1: did all this, but she's still one of us. And
Speaker 1: that's how you're embraced. And you know I re embraced
Speaker 1: j Loo you did. I love that. So now it's
Speaker 1: a love fest because I will never ever turn my
Speaker 1: back on her. Seriously, because some people think she's doing
Speaker 1: the most with benefit and all of the stuff that
Speaker 1: she has going on, and I'm like, listen, you've got
Speaker 1: one life to live. Enjoy it to the fullest. I'm
Speaker 1: glad I Nator's witnessed benefit two points. Oh I mean,
Speaker 1: and just wait until the wedding. Baby, we will discuss
Speaker 1: it at length, because you know, to get married. Yes,
Speaker 1: she loves love. She's the modern day Elizabeth Taylor. All
Speaker 1: the weddings. Get them diamonds, baby, go for it, get
Speaker 1: all the diamonds. I don't care. I want to watch you.
Speaker 1: I want to celebrate she you. I am here for it,
Speaker 1: not one ounce of jealousy. So there you have it.
Speaker 1: This was good conversation, bro, I loved it. I don't know,
Speaker 1: I feel emotional. It's weird, Like I feel like we
Speaker 1: touched on so many different things. It feels good. I
Speaker 1: feel like I just unloaded a bunch of it on
Speaker 1: you and the listeners. As long as it's cathartic, you know.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's what it is. And this is a
Speaker 1: two way street, you know. We, like I said at
Speaker 1: the beginning of the episode, we want to hear from you.
Speaker 1: We want to know, like, what is on your mind,
Speaker 1: what are the topics that you want to discuss, what
Speaker 1: issues are you facing? How can we help you? Because
Speaker 1: this is a relationship. It's a two way street, you know.
Speaker 1: So definitely hit us up on social media at l
Speaker 1: I Spanglish, I'm at the Real Carolina and I am
Speaker 1: Honey German. It's so weird because my instagram is I
Speaker 1: am Honey German. So when I said it just always
Speaker 1: sounds weird, but not. Thanks for rocking with us today
Speaker 1: was a really, really amazing conversation. Life and Spanglish is
Speaker 1: a production of Life and Spanglish Productions in partnership with
Speaker 1: My Heart Michael Podcast Network.