Speaker 1: Elvis Durrand presents off air show Scary Jones and Greg
Speaker 1: Tea episode Yeah, off their show. Yeah, I'm Scary Jones.
Speaker 1: Yeah you are. That's Greg Tea over there. I'm over
Speaker 1: here now something starts some day. I'm gonna get Andrew
Speaker 1: dice Clay on the phone. That's me. He never said that,
Speaker 1: and I'm going to prove to you know, he never
Speaker 1: said you ripped that off here? No, no, no, where
Speaker 1: is Andrew dice Clay right now? I beg for you
Speaker 1: to get him on? Get him on and let's find
Speaker 1: out where people. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, we do. That's
Speaker 1: where ball freak k is right now. Hey, ball Freak
Speaker 1: is trying to find out where's Andrew dice Clay right now?
Speaker 1: Right the ball freak? Is that what you're doing over there? Hey, guys,
Speaker 1: I'm doing right now, I'm trying to find Andrew Dice
Speaker 1: all right, bull Free, good job, good job man at
Speaker 1: the guy because he's got a job to do. Hey,
Speaker 1: ball Free, get you helping us out today. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: help you out today. Gang, gonna help you out today.
Speaker 1: All right. You have you have different people in here
Speaker 1: play the part of bald freak like just everybody, you know,
Speaker 1: Just somebody come in, one by one, just play the part.
Speaker 1: We'll just get random interns. You just pull somebody off
Speaker 1: the street. How is your weekend? By the way, dude,
Speaker 1: mooral day weekend, extra long weekend. You gotta you know,
Speaker 1: Poppet stucker, dathing ain't ain't da give me some marines?
Speaker 1: It was something for the marine? Did the marine? We didn't.
Speaker 1: I did a whole tribute to the Army, Navy, air
Speaker 1: Force and Marines and coast Guard. You were, you know,
Speaker 1: while you weren't here the other day? Where was I? Yeah,
Speaker 1: all the time, or you'll get a shot in your
Speaker 1: ass from my god, that's where you were. I gave,
Speaker 1: I gave specs, I put some speck on it. Give
Speaker 1: me someone moreal day weekend? I didn't. I did all
Speaker 1: that already. Oh my god, passed the point. How could
Speaker 1: you do it beforehand? You should have been asked this,
Speaker 1: just like a graduation circumstance. You asked for poppet circumstances.
Speaker 1: Give me the marine stuff. I guess is why ball
Speaker 1: freaks not here because on the same page. No, we
Speaker 1: are on the same page. You just fucking decided to
Speaker 1: turn the page before I did last week and left
Speaker 1: me here with nothing but hanging out with Share nothing
Speaker 1: money had Share, but it was me and her and
Speaker 1: then Patasnic Pete walk. Please you have to start spangled banner.
Speaker 1: I got. I got whatever you want. Just as for Pope,
Speaker 1: circumstances said give me something like give me pop and circumstance.
Speaker 1: So I gave you Pope circumstances. This is where the
Speaker 1: trouble begins. Get to the Army, the Navy, the Enforce, Marines.
Speaker 1: I gave that last week when you decided to check
Speaker 1: out early and leave me dangling. You know you cannot
Speaker 1: say that you played the music for America. You know
Speaker 1: last week when Memorial Day weekend was yesterday, I did
Speaker 1: it in anticipation of Memorial Day weekend. Retways the music
Speaker 1: before Memorial Day weekend. It was in promotion of you know,
Speaker 1: I beg the different. I would go to TESK with
Speaker 1: this on with you. You play the music after the
Speaker 1: we can describe your weekend of the Memorial Day weekend.
Speaker 1: That's what you do. So what do you want me
Speaker 1: to do? You would play American? That's all right. Let
Speaker 1: me hear it, Let me hear it. Okay, you know
Speaker 1: I'm sitting there, barberqwan. We got my hot dogs going
Speaker 1: Boar's Head hot dogs. By the way, boars Head hot dogs.
Speaker 1: Why are you calling them out of the sponsor. No,
Speaker 1: they're not a sponsor. But I want all the off
Speaker 1: air heads to know that if you're looking for a
Speaker 1: good hot dog, the best hot dog, Boar's Head is
Speaker 1: the best hot dog out there. That's right, because boars
Speaker 1: Head serves up real beef hot dogs in natural cases.
Speaker 1: Guess what, Yeah, I got give me one. Don't you
Speaker 1: dare even say it. I'm not gonna Hebrew National. I'll
Speaker 1: tell you why. Because their koshert and when they say
Speaker 1: they had they itched to a higher authority. That means
Speaker 1: that all those parts and things and nostrils and jowls
Speaker 1: that Elvis talks about that you guys talks about hooks
Speaker 1: and claws, none of that is permitted in a Hebrew
Speaker 1: National hot dog because it is certified kosher. So if
Speaker 1: you have a kosher hot dog, you know you're getting
Speaker 1: the best of what's available. Let me tell you something.
Speaker 1: If I am having a hot dog now board, nothing
Speaker 1: against boars Head. I'm just telling you you get a
Speaker 1: little bit more filler in there a little bit more
Speaker 1: relaxed on the rules. Okay, all fairheads, why don't you
Speaker 1: guys decide because it's Oscar Meyer. Well listen, you know
Speaker 1: what's gonna say Oscar Meyer. Well, it's only you and I.
Speaker 1: We have to leave it up to the off fairheads.
Speaker 1: Now they got it. The side, which is a better
Speaker 1: hot dog? Is it henacular with the one that's best advertised,
Speaker 1: because that's the one they remember. Well, it's got he
Speaker 1: bores said that board said his best advertised. Everywhere you
Speaker 1: go you see the damn boars. The biggest advertised one?
Speaker 1: Is which one? The Oscar Meyer one? Oh no, it
Speaker 1: is not it is. That's an old song. Oh I
Speaker 1: love to be as not this version of that. Listen. Anyway,
Speaker 1: my weekend was great. We had a really good time.
Speaker 1: We did a lot of family things. We had a
Speaker 1: really decent weekend. I got to see, uh, what are
Speaker 1: you doing? Queen started sucking engines? Man, don't tell you
Speaker 1: about your weekend without me telling you to to start your engine.
Speaker 1: Oh man, the weekend was good. It was a lot
Speaker 1: of fun. It was the unofficial official start to summer.
Speaker 1: Who thousands of seventeen and we had a great time,
Speaker 1: a lot of fun, a lot of shenanigans, and a
Speaker 1: little bit of some uh some motion in the ocean
Speaker 1: in the bedroom, if you know what I mean. A
Speaker 1: motion in the ocean with the we're cussing kidding cuff
Speaker 1: and sign. It was all great and it was not
Speaker 1: a good time me and uh you know the misses,
Speaker 1: the boss. It was a motion in the ocean with lotion,
Speaker 1: A lot of fun. How was your weekend? What'd you
Speaker 1: do well? I went to Atlanta? This say you did
Speaker 1: in the Bahamas? It was great. It was a lot
Speaker 1: of fun. I you know what I gotta say that,
Speaker 1: you know, yeah, I spent some time in my favorite pool.
Speaker 1: Isn't it hard to be hanging out at the cove
Speaker 1: when you know that there's so many hot si everywhere? Dude,
Speaker 1: so many women. My girlfriend was looking with me butting
Speaker 1: them out. Really, you're not kidding? Come on when she
Speaker 1: points out the hotties, yeah yeah, yeah, she's down for threesomes.
Speaker 1: I don't know about foesomes. But what is she spotting
Speaker 1: all the stricks for? Because just because she's hot herself?
Speaker 1: Why is she spotting other girls because she's comfortable on
Speaker 1: her own skin? But that song of Ruba Jamaica. I
Speaker 1: want to take it. The Beach Boys. Yeah, that's the
Speaker 1: Beach Boys. It's called Cocoa come from pay me. The
Speaker 1: picture of you relaxing by the cove in Atlantis. But this,
Speaker 1: it was certainly not this music. He tell me. So
Speaker 1: we're just hanging out party, how temper? I can't. I
Speaker 1: can't tell you about my weekend at the Bahamas this
Speaker 1: What was it like? Was it? Sonny? It's my grandfather's,
Speaker 1: wasn't it was? You have a lot of cocktails, a
Speaker 1: lot of cots. Yeah, like it. So they had a
Speaker 1: DJ spinning over the pool, the Cold Pool, by the way,
Speaker 1: great place to get away from kids, mag Central. Let
Speaker 1: me tell you no, nothing can stop me. A lot
Speaker 1: of a lot of families there in Atlantis. Lantis is
Speaker 1: great for families. But you make of it what you'd like.
Speaker 1: White hats, white sunglasses, I love it. What are you
Speaker 1: talking about? White flip flops? I love everything. But I
Speaker 1: went to the Cold Pool that was a secluded area
Speaker 1: for adults only. They had a DJ spinning. They had
Speaker 1: everybody party and the music was turned way up. People
Speaker 1: were bottling bottled It was rose all day. Yeah, Rose
Speaker 1: is the drink of choice. It's so trendy now rose,
Speaker 1: you know it was trendy. It's so ridiculous. It doesn't
Speaker 1: have to be. But everybody there was so many birthdays.
Speaker 1: It was batcherette party, just one batch atte party was
Speaker 1: like I forgot what the name of it was, but
Speaker 1: it was like Chrissie's Bitches or something. Hung sign up,
Speaker 1: hung a sign up, and then hung like a little
Speaker 1: clothesline and they put up women's panties, like underwear clothespins
Speaker 1: like lined up like almost like each one of the
Speaker 1: girls had their underwear hanging up. I love that. And
Speaker 1: it was like Chrissie's bachelor party, you know. And then
Speaker 1: there was a couple of batchelor parties. There were d
Speaker 1: bags popping bottles, but it was an adult atmosphere. There
Speaker 1: were people smoking cigars and played some outdoor black jack.
Speaker 1: I lost a little bit of that. You're never gonna
Speaker 1: win Atlantis, You're never gonna win there. Never black jack
Speaker 1: is black jack. You could want to lose anyone. Now,
Speaker 1: I beg different. I disagree. My conspiracy theory is is
Speaker 1: that if it's unregulated, you're not going to win. That's
Speaker 1: not true. Unregulated funk with black jack. Black Jack is
Speaker 1: eight decks of cards. You ever seen casino? You ever
Speaker 1: seen casino, but did not messing with the cards. You're
Speaker 1: no way to do it. Really, you never saw when
Speaker 1: you never saw de Niro right in the movie Casino,
Speaker 1: go review, you'll see who wins, who losing, and how
Speaker 1: they do it. Don't tell me that you cannot fix
Speaker 1: the game of black jack. You can't. You can't unless
Speaker 1: unless you listen to me. First of all, you'd have
Speaker 1: to funk with the decks. You'd have to take out
Speaker 1: all the you know, certain cards and put extra ones
Speaker 1: of another one in. But the point is they have
Speaker 1: when they before they shuffle, they show you what you
Speaker 1: got in the very beginning. They lay all the cards
Speaker 1: out face up, they show you them shuffling. You are naive,
Speaker 1: my friend, There's no way. Bro. Dude, listen. You want
Speaker 1: to talk about slot machines and making sure they hit
Speaker 1: at a certain time, and they're digital and computerized. I'll
Speaker 1: give you that, But you can't fix games of chance.
Speaker 1: You can't fix roulette. You can't. Yes, you can't be
Speaker 1: magnets and everything that they're not doing that, dude, youngs
Speaker 1: and todd Lerk's if you think that they can fix
Speaker 1: all these casino games, you guys got a lot of
Speaker 1: homework to do. You're playing. We want you to text us.
Speaker 1: We want you to tweet us. You can email. You
Speaker 1: can't fix hold them or three cards casino or stud
Speaker 1: or let it ride. They can't. You know what games
Speaker 1: of chance? I' what's happening here? You always have one
Speaker 1: one side of things. I have the other side. We
Speaker 1: should go with a whole new name instead of the
Speaker 1: all fair show. It's really like opposites or something. Seriously,
Speaker 1: we're like Abera Costello. We need somebody to figure out
Speaker 1: for us. So you know what we need to alright,
Speaker 1: so Ben and Jerry, So tell me about Jerry, tell
Speaker 1: me about Atlantis. All right, So you look at Tasa everywhere.
Speaker 1: That was the cool but that was the party side
Speaker 1: of things. And by the way, they have a great
Speaker 1: They have so many beaches there. And you know, we
Speaker 1: went to this like private area was not private but private,
Speaker 1: but like we're less people go. There were people playing
Speaker 1: steel drums. It was all that. But like me name
Speaker 1: just like that. I love that. But the point is,
Speaker 1: if you have a family, it's great to go there.
Speaker 1: You've got something for everyone. If you want adults only,
Speaker 1: you got that there too. It's the best of all
Speaker 1: the world. But time, what mean the miss we had
Speaker 1: the kids there? Why you call him the missus? We
Speaker 1: dropped the kids off. They also at the pool, they
Speaker 1: have to take a dump. They they have a kid's
Speaker 1: a kid zone where you drop them off and they're
Speaker 1: there for like three or four hours. So they take
Speaker 1: them on one day like three or four hours, like
Speaker 1: a camp. Yes, so you get them away from you.
Speaker 1: It's like glorified babysitters. And then you and the boss
Speaker 1: we head back to the room for a little night.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, oh yeah, and then we go to the code.
Speaker 1: We hang out, have some drinks, so you do get that, okay,
Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden you go back and
Speaker 1: pick up the kids as if like mommy and Daddy
Speaker 1: just says ice cream, as if nothing else went on
Speaker 1: like that. But I don't have to deal with that
Speaker 1: because I don't have kids. But anyway, so long story short, Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's something for everyone at Atlantis. But what I wanted
Speaker 1: to tell you what from the Dolphins. Okay, they have
Speaker 1: this thing called Serenity Snorkel. They new interactions and experiences.
Speaker 1: You get to go and hang out and you get
Speaker 1: to snorkel with the doll seven o'clock in the morning
Speaker 1: when they're about to be fed, and you get to
Speaker 1: see them in their natural habitat. You get to see
Speaker 1: them they swim all around you and you're like you're
Speaker 1: in the water with them as they're going or or
Speaker 1: do they sound like you got a sound efact of
Speaker 1: a dolphin? They they that's how they go. We're doing
Speaker 1: all kinds of things. I don't have that sound. Yes
Speaker 1: you do. If you look up dolphin, I bet you
Speaker 1: have just made it. Why do I have to play it?
Speaker 1: Because go get it? Say they have it type in
Speaker 1: dolphins dolphin. I bet you say. If I had the
Speaker 1: sound effect board again we get inter Jeff, you're making
Speaker 1: the sound that that U No, that's what Daryl Hannah
Speaker 1: makes in in the movie Splash, but she breaks the
Speaker 1: TV screens. I mean, you're forcing me to make sound
Speaker 1: effects like the guy from Police Academy. I mean, really,
Speaker 1: this is why I don't have any dolphins sound I
Speaker 1: have become the guy from Police Academy. I'm gonna make
Speaker 1: my own sound effects. Get them for this podcast. I
Speaker 1: don't have dolphin. I'm I typed them the word dolphin
Speaker 1: and there's no sound effect. One day we'll have a
Speaker 1: sound Remember the film talking about Splash with Tom Hanks
Speaker 1: and she goes she breaks all the TV screens. Remember that. Yes, alright,
Speaker 1: we're waving to a smiling Stephen Turn. He actually stopped by.
Speaker 1: But anyway, long story short. Um. Yeah, it was a
Speaker 1: great time and and definitely got into the culture of Atlantis.
Speaker 1: There was the Bohamian culture they just think on on
Speaker 1: every other Saturday called Artwalk, where they put together they
Speaker 1: get all the local vendors. Yeah, and for free, they
Speaker 1: get to like open up a farmer's market right there
Speaker 1: in the Marida village, so they get to sell all
Speaker 1: their local goods. Anything that they want to sell could
Speaker 1: be food. It could be a straw hat, it could
Speaker 1: be it could be conk shells, it could be accessories.
Speaker 1: Steel drums playing everywhere there is. I don't have steel drums.
Speaker 1: And you know this is unbelievable. You have a sheet.
Speaker 1: This is why I need the sound effect. Bore you have.
Speaker 1: Let me tell you something, man, You have this, this sheet,
Speaker 1: this rundown is five pages along. We got a lot
Speaker 1: to cover today and we didn't even this wasn't even
Speaker 1: on it anyway. Okay, So that's that Bahamian culture. Live it,
Speaker 1: love it, learn about it. Junk a new you know,
Speaker 1: junk new is what is junk? What is that? Drunk
Speaker 1: anew is when they take junk and they make it
Speaker 1: like new. What. Yes, there are days around Christmas that
Speaker 1: they celebrate. They have a festival, they have a parade
Speaker 1: and they all get dressed up in shiny costumes, the
Speaker 1: Bahamians that is, and they make like they make the
Speaker 1: instruments out of junk because it's all they had at
Speaker 1: the time at the time, back in the day, so
Speaker 1: they would make and they would like make all these
Speaker 1: fun costumes. Don't. Yeah, So I went to a junk
Speaker 1: a New festival. That was one I was immersing myself
Speaker 1: in the Bahamian culture. Yes, you asked me about the
Speaker 1: adult side of life, about going to the cove pool
Speaker 1: and hanging out and gambling and smoking cigars. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: like that. Yeah, But I was trying to bring to
Speaker 1: you something else that Atlanta's offers, and that is the
Speaker 1: fact that they allow the local vendors to come in
Speaker 1: and sell their local goods. And wears. That's really nice
Speaker 1: for arnt Walk And they have junk Ado festivals. What
Speaker 1: did you buy? I didn't buy anything? Why not because
Speaker 1: you didn't buy buy a conk conk something apparently? Well know,
Speaker 1: I didn't buy conco because because I did a carry
Speaker 1: on and I didn't want to break in my luggage
Speaker 1: and scary you should have. I mean, so, now what
Speaker 1: did you dance a little bit where you grow with Robin?
Speaker 1: I don't know how to dance the junk anoe it
Speaker 1: like you know, you gotta cancel it. I don't know.
Speaker 1: They're very fast and they played trumpets and horns and
Speaker 1: all kinds of stuff like this. Anyway, they have a
Speaker 1: junk of new parade. Go see it sometime. I can't wait.
Speaker 1: That sounds like a lot. Was my weekend? Well, I
Speaker 1: I gotta be honest, I think you had a really
Speaker 1: great weekend. I mean the weather over here was not
Speaker 1: It did not cooperate here in the New York City
Speaker 1: Tristate area. We made the best of it, and we
Speaker 1: I we we did a little barbecues, went to my uncle's.
Speaker 1: We went swimming Uncle Ted's. He's got his pool opened.
Speaker 1: Temperatures up to ninety adventure. Oh my god, it was
Speaker 1: so great. That's that's a good movie and excellent venture. Excellent, excellent.
Speaker 1: Ok So talk well, first of all, let me just
Speaker 1: tell you about my right home. Oh what happened? Oh
Speaker 1: I um, well, well, you know it's a two and
Speaker 1: a half hour flight, right, it's about two and a
Speaker 1: half hour. But what'd you fly on? Jeff Blue, I
Speaker 1: flew United the way there and then dealta the way back.
Speaker 1: On the way back. Shout out to the in flight
Speaker 1: crew for keeping it together. Um, we had to take
Speaker 1: a diversion into into Jacksonville. Uh, really serious moment, Like
Speaker 1: just like as the plane as we started going up,
Speaker 1: as we get into the mid air, just as you know,
Speaker 1: just that cruising altitude, all of a sudden, um, like
Speaker 1: a five year old girl, um has shortness of breath,
Speaker 1: couldn't breathe and was lifeless. Way So a doctor sprang
Speaker 1: up out of nowhere. It looked like something out of
Speaker 1: the movies, and he goes, I'm a doctor. He later
Speaker 1: out across the chairs and they tried to a sustain her.
Speaker 1: They brought out the oxygen tank. It was really serious,
Speaker 1: but the inflight crew held it together. You could see
Speaker 1: how well trained they are in emergencies, because I was
Speaker 1: observing what was going on, and they literally had to
Speaker 1: you know, they got her back. Luckily she was um,
Speaker 1: I guess you would call it okay stable and then yeah,
Speaker 1: well well they diverted the plane into Jacksonville to let
Speaker 1: the family off. Were you like, I mean, you had
Speaker 1: to be scared, you had to be able cares. Oh
Speaker 1: I thought, I thought, I thought this girl was dead.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I thought I I really thought she
Speaker 1: had passed. What does the pilot say, you know that?
Speaker 1: What did he say? You're taken that the pilot say?
Speaker 1: How does he make an announcement? Well, everyone saw what
Speaker 1: was going on with the In fact, they had to inform.
Speaker 1: They had to make a call to the cockpit and
Speaker 1: tell them this was going on. Thank you for you
Speaker 1: know what was DXT. Will you cut that out? I'm
Speaker 1: just saying, his four year old girl almost lost your
Speaker 1: life and your plane drops. I'm not listen. I am
Speaker 1: so there you kidding me. I've got daughters myself. He's
Speaker 1: an emergency, That's what I are happening though. So we
Speaker 1: went to Jacksonville Airport, we landed, and I got home
Speaker 1: three hours three hours after. But at least the girl
Speaker 1: was okay, that was correct. No one complained. Nobody complained, Okay,
Speaker 1: it was It was a a t Did you have?
Speaker 1: Is that the flight recorder right there? Is that the
Speaker 1: little black box? Is that the black box tea? Yeah?
Speaker 1: But ladies, just remember, lady and gentlemen, if we did
Speaker 1: give great tea sound effects box that right there would
Speaker 1: be what it would sound like every five seconds you
Speaker 1: need to be interrupting every word? Did I say, all right, listen,
Speaker 1: let's get our song going on when we come back.
Speaker 1: We've got something new today. Yeah, Well, this is gonna
Speaker 1: be a lot of fun. First this is let's take
Speaker 1: us back to bottle rock in Napa Valley, the concert
Speaker 1: weekend that would happen with Memorial Day weekend where food
Speaker 1: fighters were trying to close out there said they pulled
Speaker 1: the court on him. They said, you know what, this
Speaker 1: is Napa Valley. We're stobbish about our wine, is slowish
Speaker 1: about our contests and our concerts. How do you shut
Speaker 1: off the food fighter? They all plugged them, they all
Speaker 1: unlocked up. But you know what, Dave Brown, give him
Speaker 1: a lot of credit. They've rocked out. They continbute on
Speaker 1: even after being unplugged. Wait, it is here for you, Zoe.
Speaker 1: I'll throw myself into the bloom out of the red
Speaker 1: out of the say calm down and waste away with me.
Speaker 1: So you wanted it to me? Oh my god, when
Speaker 1: I figured you never never and never good kay as
Speaker 1: you go is not the saper and not said she
Speaker 1: said Old Fighters in their show, that's my favorite food
Speaker 1: Fighters song at all time. It's a great song. How
Speaker 1: do you turn them off? Here's no way. They were
Speaker 1: in the middle of performing that at the Bottle Rock
Speaker 1: and Food Fighters are are now. You know, they're one
Speaker 1: of the most iconic bands that are still out there
Speaker 1: right now. They're legendary. You don't go turn them all
Speaker 1: you the idiots who were running the festival didn't have
Speaker 1: any knowledge or concept that that was like probably their
Speaker 1: biggest hit ever. And then they were gonna unplug them
Speaker 1: because it you know what, it turned midnight or something.
Speaker 1: We gotta shut them off. But yeah, you don't do
Speaker 1: that to the food Shout out to Dave Growl and everybody,
Speaker 1: because they freaking continued on like that. All right, So
Speaker 1: we got a new bid here planned for the Affair
Speaker 1: show alright, so youugs and toddlers listen up. Here's the deal.
Speaker 1: I think when we do the Affair Show, there's so
Speaker 1: much that happens over the weekends. Let's get everybody caught up.
Speaker 1: But let's put an all fair show twist to it.
Speaker 1: So we're gonna call this the news round out. That
Speaker 1: a problem with that? What's the matter? Well, first of all,
Speaker 1: you've you've used the word news and about five different
Speaker 1: bits that we've done. You've done news you can use.
Speaker 1: We've done that before we have, and we've done what
Speaker 1: you've you've served up the word news. You know what.
Speaker 1: Leave it to the all fair heads who memorize every
Speaker 1: episode of this damn podcast that they know that you've
Speaker 1: done this slicedtuff different ways. So this is nothing original.
Speaker 1: This is just the same fucking stuff. You want to
Speaker 1: call it whatever you want. Don't try and pass it
Speaker 1: off as something new. It happened this weekend. We call
Speaker 1: it used news, used news, yeah from the weekend. No,
Speaker 1: because this is a used bit, the weekend weekend news
Speaker 1: used used. Now you've called this the news review, the
Speaker 1: news review everybody's and now you're calling it the news
Speaker 1: round out. All news is good news with Gary News.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, the Great Space Coaster. Remember that? All
Speaker 1: news is good news with Gary News. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: you're bringing me back. Remember remember them on that show
Speaker 1: they had speed reader, Yes, speed reader right, don't come on.
Speaker 1: He was the head band that he would jog in
Speaker 1: place and he would read really fast. What does he say,
Speaker 1: good news is Gary News? I don't have the Great
Speaker 1: Space News? Is good news with Gary? G news? Was
Speaker 1: the Gary News? Yes? It was the Great Space Coaster
Speaker 1: again on board on the Great Space Coaster something like that. Anyway,
Speaker 1: Gary canows, can we move on pages? Why do you
Speaker 1: have twelve pages today? Let me tell you, ladies and gentlemen,
Speaker 1: this is great tea. It's like all or nothing with
Speaker 1: this guy, because this motherfucker. Some days he just skates
Speaker 1: out of here early. Other days he's in a mood.
Speaker 1: I'm not tonight. Today you crank out twelve pages of
Speaker 1: content and and then you don't do a podcast for
Speaker 1: the next five days. I mean, you want to sit
Speaker 1: here for two hours, look at look at all this
Speaker 1: stuff on? Where's what I'm trying to find? Garret new
Speaker 1: sound effects? Just type in space Great Space Coaster, Space Coaster.
Speaker 1: That's a great space coaster. Hey, maybe wall freaking help
Speaker 1: us out here. I'm not doing's our first story, alright,
Speaker 1: So just just with a great space. So over the
Speaker 1: weekend it was Momortal Day. Weekend is the unofficial official
Speaker 1: start to summer since always brings out the biggest move
Speaker 1: these of the blockbuster summer season. So number one of
Speaker 1: the box office was Pirate of the Caribbean, five Dead Mail,
Speaker 1: Dead Men, Tell No Tales. I saw it over the weekend.
Speaker 1: I thought it was great, but it six or two
Speaker 1: million dollars. Number two is Gardens the Galaxy. Number three
Speaker 1: bay Watch. Dude, the Rock could not pull it out
Speaker 1: and make it the number one movie, even with uh,
Speaker 1: what's his face was in it? And what's his name?
Speaker 1: With the Rock and I'm trying to complete blank zac Efron,
Speaker 1: even with heart throb zach Efron, they could not make
Speaker 1: Brave bay Watch number one. He's no Will Smith. He's
Speaker 1: like the king of the box office on a Memorial
Speaker 1: Day weekend. Right, what was the biggest Memorial Day weekend blockbusters?
Speaker 1: Can you think of? Now that I'm thinking about it, It
Speaker 1: It wouldn't gimme Smith. I think he's more of like
Speaker 1: a fourth of July, Guy Off, fourth of July. Remember
Speaker 1: that one. So, Kimmy, what do you think? What do
Speaker 1: you think? If I asked you right now? It was
Speaker 1: one of the top movies of a Memorial Day weekend blockbuster.
Speaker 1: It gonna be one of the fast in the future,
Speaker 1: Fast and Furious, you know, one after um, the one
Speaker 1: after what's his face died? Oh my god, I got
Speaker 1: his name and ready? Well, you know what that's that's
Speaker 1: a great answer. That's a great answer. So you're here.
Speaker 1: You know what. I did a little research for us
Speaker 1: your top five Memorial Day weekend openings. Okay, Number five
Speaker 1: was an X Men Days of Future Past. Here's yours,
Speaker 1: A Fast and Furious six. Uh that is came out
Speaker 1: two hundred seventeen million x men. The last stand was
Speaker 1: number three, Number two Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of
Speaker 1: Crystal Skull. And the number one biggest Memorial Day weekend opening.
Speaker 1: You know what it is two thousand seven. It was
Speaker 1: The Pirates of the Caribbean at World's End. It brought
Speaker 1: in a hundred and thirty nine million dollars. Damn, I'm
Speaker 1: telling you, Johnny Depp, he knows his stuff, man, Johnny
Speaker 1: Depp a great, great, great actor. What do you think
Speaker 1: it's the greatest character Johnny Depp ever played? Nice Jones clapping,
Speaker 1: that's a great you just you never asked a question?
Speaker 1: Are you kidding me? Yes? I do a lot of questions,
Speaker 1: like why am I here? All fairheads? You guys got
Speaker 1: a lot of homework tonight, man, are you We should
Speaker 1: keep all these homework assigns with you? All fairheads either
Speaker 1: piling up? It is right now, and we gotta ask
Speaker 1: them what they think is the best character Johnny Depp
Speaker 1: has ever played. That's your question? All right, let's see
Speaker 1: you're Jones asked the question. I know mine, I know
Speaker 1: my two favorite all right, sorry, all right, here we go.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say one of my favorites is gonna be
Speaker 1: Donnie Brasco when he played Joe Pistone. That's one of
Speaker 1: my favorites. And I'm gonna say, I mean what, I'm
Speaker 1: not Jack Sparrow from Pirates at the Caabby, I mean,
Speaker 1: you got you call me Wax Sparrow, you know, I listen.
Speaker 1: Not that's not my favorite, by the way, Okay, I
Speaker 1: was gonna say that one, but it just came out,
Speaker 1: and so that's why I held off. I didn't say
Speaker 1: it was Jack Sparrow, but I mean, you've got you've
Speaker 1: gotta obviously mentioned Jack Sparrow. I mean, Johnny Depp is
Speaker 1: my favorite. Daha, give me yours was tied between Edward
Speaker 1: scissor Hands. Obviously. I didn't even think about that one
Speaker 1: going back in the day and Willie Wonka, oh because
Speaker 1: because Gene Wilder was a great Willy Wonka. But I
Speaker 1: do think that Johnny Depp did him justice that character.
Speaker 1: I agreed, Johnny Depp is an awesome actor, awesome actor,
Speaker 1: And you're right, And you know, now that I think
Speaker 1: about it, you're right. So what about Wait, what about
Speaker 1: when he played Sweeney Todd? Dude, he was fantastic when
Speaker 1: he was Sweeney Todd. You know I didn't see that film.
Speaker 1: Oh dude, you gotta go see Sweeney Todd. It was
Speaker 1: a great one. Do you know what? There you go
Speaker 1: off their heads, youngs and Toddlers. Who do you think
Speaker 1: was the best character Johnny Depp has ever played? There's
Speaker 1: another homework assignment. How about when he was Sam from
Speaker 1: Benny and June. Uh See, the girls are gonna say
Speaker 1: it's a classic. The girls love that one. They love it, Crane,
Speaker 1: come on, the list goes on, all right. He also
Speaker 1: played the man Hatter in Alice in Wonderland. Dude, Oh
Speaker 1: my god, I totally forgot about that. He was phenomenal
Speaker 1: in there. All right, all right, you gotta help us out.
Speaker 1: Give me news headline number two. News headline number two
Speaker 1: Tiger Woods busted and nod got a d d u
Speaker 1: I in Florida not a d w I du wants
Speaker 1: a difference while driving while intoxicated or driving under the influence.
Speaker 1: That's different under the influence of what that's exactly. It
Speaker 1: could be like you're smoking pot and you're driving under
Speaker 1: the influence, not driving while intoxication. D w I R
Speaker 1: d w I, because du y you can leave on
Speaker 1: your own recognizance. But d w Y, you're trying your
Speaker 1: own recognianceance. You almost pronounce that word. I did get
Speaker 1: it right, recognizance. Oh do you hear that? Would you do?
Speaker 1: I'm traffing all over and disgusting if that smells Hey, listen,
Speaker 1: I'm just telling you. I think lambs like tish. You
Speaker 1: think Tiger Woods has hit rock bottom yet? Yeah? Well,
Speaker 1: you know my we should call Froggy, Dude, Frogg is
Speaker 1: a huge Tiger Woods fan. He's gonna be I wish
Speaker 1: we can get him. I want to call him, called Froggy,
Speaker 1: my buddy Will on the phone and he's going to
Speaker 1: do a counterpoint on this. Yeah, I agree, I'm with him.
Speaker 1: I'm not a fan. You Frog on the phone and
Speaker 1: find out. Let's see, it's so funny. You have a
Speaker 1: you have twelve pages of a script of things to
Speaker 1: talk about, and we haven't barely done one thing. All
Speaker 1: fair heads, we want to know what you think. Drop
Speaker 1: us a line the Tiger Woods his hit rock bottom
Speaker 1: yet or not? Why? Why bother making an outline? If
Speaker 1: this is what we're gonna do? What do you mean?
Speaker 1: What we're gonna do? We gotta do we even order
Speaker 1: to everything. There's no order here. We know we're gonna
Speaker 1: call Froggy. I mean, well, let's go. Where's what's he
Speaker 1: doing right now? Golfing? Probably? Are you kidding me? Frog's
Speaker 1: not answering phone, super golfer? What's doing? Come on? Frog
Speaker 1: at the tone? Please record your message. When you have
Speaker 1: finished recording, you may hang up or press one for
Speaker 1: more options. Hey, Frog, it's great, t and scary. We're
Speaker 1: hosting the off air show. Right now, we got a question, Saphor,
Speaker 1: you you think Tiger wants to hit rock bottom? Yes
Speaker 1: or no? Dial calls back there you go, all right,
Speaker 1: I think this doesn't I think he's hit rock bottom.
Speaker 1: But it's interesting to say, what do you tell? Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna tell you what. My buddy, my buddy Will,
Speaker 1: has an interesting perspective. He he claims he thinks that
Speaker 1: he was probably part of that crackdown of all that
Speaker 1: illegal stuff that they alleged. All this is alleged. This
Speaker 1: is my buddies. He does his conspiracy theory, and he
Speaker 1: said he thinks that that once that that he started,
Speaker 1: they started cracking down all of a sudden, that's when
Speaker 1: he got quote injured anymore. A lot of injuries happened
Speaker 1: after all that. He got injured a lot. So my
Speaker 1: buddy Will thinks that he was making these injuries up
Speaker 1: because he didn't want to actually come to the plate
Speaker 1: and actually continue to play golf, and then he'd be
Speaker 1: exposed because he wasn't no longer, he was no longer
Speaker 1: on the juice and at the back all those awards.
Speaker 1: S I told him. I told my buddy Will, who
Speaker 1: believes this, that he's cracked out. I said, dude, you're
Speaker 1: fucking crazy. I said, I don't think that's the case,
Speaker 1: But how could you not do the research on I
Speaker 1: look at that. You're right think about you know, when
Speaker 1: you're on steroids, man, you're doing all kinds of crazy stuff.
Speaker 1: And at that time Tiger woods sleep when all these
Speaker 1: women he's having all these great games playing golf, these
Speaker 1: roys that he was on was making him better than
Speaker 1: he wasn't though, that's the thing though. But well, there's
Speaker 1: none of this is proven. This is all hypothesis. Then
Speaker 1: they said, then they had the crackdown, right, and then
Speaker 1: he quote got hurt, and then he got caught when
Speaker 1: his wife caught him, and everything and everything called cheating,
Speaker 1: that's right, big caught cheating. No, it's called bing caught stealing.
Speaker 1: You idiot, Well, we can change the big cut cheating net.
Speaker 1: No net, Come on, big cut cheating, no being cut cheating, sparking.
Speaker 1: And when if the ladies sticking that the turkey up
Speaker 1: her skirt and who was in a ham actually trying
Speaker 1: to walk out of the supermarket, they should ready saw
Speaker 1: big cluck cheating. It was actually a guy dressed in
Speaker 1: drag and he had a fake stomach and he was
Speaker 1: like putting all this grocery yea under his dress. That
Speaker 1: so great. Where's carry Carrol Incision? He's sweating Lollapaloosa. Of
Speaker 1: course he did in Chicago. Another iconic character who's around somewhere.
Speaker 1: He's still in Chicago right now, right, yeah, right, was
Speaker 1: where he used to come back after school and watch
Speaker 1: MTV when he still played videos. It's so great, so great.
Speaker 1: So yeah, so my well, my feeling is is that
Speaker 1: Tiger Woods has not hit rock bottom yet and there's
Speaker 1: gonna be worse more fallout. Really Okay, So, speaking of
Speaker 1: sports and the news, got the news headline? Who's headline
Speaker 1: I got for you? Yeah? Talking sports? This is just
Speaker 1: talking about current events because it's like what's on my
Speaker 1: phone everywhere I look. Give me your news headline for
Speaker 1: the weekend. What do you got? Bryce Harper, Washington Nationals
Speaker 1: slugger probably arguably one of the best players in Major
Speaker 1: League Baseball. Some would say Mike Trout is better than him.
Speaker 1: The argument is on I think Mike Trout is better
Speaker 1: than him because he's got better character than Bryce Harper,
Speaker 1: um and uh San Francisco Giants picture hunter strictly was
Speaker 1: on the mound. Yeah, he was allegedly through at Bryce Harper.
Speaker 1: Oh come on, he threw right at I'm scary. How
Speaker 1: could you not see that? Because Bryce Harper burned him
Speaker 1: twice in the playoffs? Didn't he hit him? Didn't he
Speaker 1: take him yard twice? Yes? He did last year. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, I'm using sports joke. Last year twice sports jargon.
Speaker 1: Here two home runs off of him in the playoffs.
Speaker 1: So this is uh hunter's way of head hunting. That's
Speaker 1: what happened. To hit him and ahead, but he went
Speaker 1: right for the leg. He hit him right into hip. Yeah,
Speaker 1: what fastball? Bryce Harper? I don't know. I'm not a fan,
Speaker 1: not a fan of his. Why how could he not
Speaker 1: be a fan of Bryce Harper? Bryce Harper? Because he's
Speaker 1: a d bag. He acts like an asshole. It's one
Speaker 1: thing to be a great athlete and be the top
Speaker 1: of your game, which he shows some and show and
Speaker 1: show a little bit of little moxie. Yeah but but
Speaker 1: but Bryce doesn't do that. Bryce is a hot dogger.
Speaker 1: He gets angry at when when called third strikes, He
Speaker 1: argues with umpires, he breaks his bat, He throws ship
Speaker 1: in the dugout. He's super aggressive. Sorry if you're a
Speaker 1: Nationals fan, but you know through Hunter strickling through the
Speaker 1: ball right at him. So yeah, so what did he do?
Speaker 1: He charged? Bryce charges the mound. You've seen it everywhere.
Speaker 1: He threw the ball at him, fastball. I hate Bryce Harper,
Speaker 1: But just because you hate him, that doesn't you know
Speaker 1: what a great example is. And I'm not a Yankee
Speaker 1: fan here, I no, David Brodie was talking about this
Speaker 1: with me earlier, were both talking. We're on the same
Speaker 1: team on this. Derek Jeter is a great is a
Speaker 1: great example of an awesome athlete who's a class act.
Speaker 1: When you're at the top of your game and your
Speaker 1: lifetime three hundred hitter and you do what you can't
Speaker 1: you know, you know you've won all these awards you've gotten,
Speaker 1: you know whatever, all the all the records that he's
Speaker 1: in the movie Hall of Fame, he'll be there soon,
Speaker 1: all that stuff. Retire the number blah blah blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: When you're that kind of like franchise player, right, Derek
Speaker 1: Jeter is the example that you should set much respect
Speaker 1: for number two. Give you that fan. I'm as biggeran
Speaker 1: that fan as they come. That's fine. That is an
Speaker 1: example of a class act. Chase Harper is not that
Speaker 1: he will never be that he can't hold Derek Jeter's job.
Speaker 1: It comes to that. Scary he got thrown as at
Speaker 1: the hand, Take the take the bean, give a dirty look,
Speaker 1: make a point, point the finger, and go to first base.
Speaker 1: Take your base like, oh my gut, scary, don't charge
Speaker 1: the fucking mound. The ball was thrown right at him,
Speaker 1: a nine mile fastball right at him. You know what
Speaker 1: we should do? You know what? I don't know if
Speaker 1: it's tomorrow, I don't know when. I'm gonna bring a softball,
Speaker 1: not like a real hard softball softball, and I'm gonna
Speaker 1: make you stand in the corner and I'm gonna throw
Speaker 1: the ball right at your hip. And you tell me
Speaker 1: how angry you get now you make it it's in
Speaker 1: the sand. Is a way to handle these situations? And
Speaker 1: how would be that? How would you handle take your base?
Speaker 1: You give a dirty look or two you make a point,
Speaker 1: you know, into him. Let let the guy be warned.
Speaker 1: Are you kidding me? What a nice little yung you?
Speaker 1: Are you kidding me? Okay, well, you're standing at the plate,
Speaker 1: the fastball comes in directly at you, and that thing.
Speaker 1: He shows the kind of character that Bryce Brice Harper
Speaker 1: is Hunter Strickling. Listen, his name is hunter. You find
Speaker 1: no fault in what he did. I do. He's a
Speaker 1: punk too. They're both losers and that's what you get.
Speaker 1: You get a bench clearing brawl when you can put
Speaker 1: two of those guys together. All right, Okay, put hold
Speaker 1: on a second, a fair heads, more homework for you.
Speaker 1: Who's right? Who's wrong? Rice Harper or Strickland. We wanted
Speaker 1: out give me, give me. We're talking baseball, We're talking
Speaker 1: base falling. What do you tak base ball? What are
Speaker 1: you talking about? You gotta give me some talking baseball?
Speaker 1: Or no, I'm not I'm not giving you that. I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: but anyway, all right, true, yeah, So I don't know
Speaker 1: what your feelings are on that. That's my feelings. And
Speaker 1: we can listen. We can open it up to the
Speaker 1: off fair heads and we can have them drop us
Speaker 1: a line and tweet us, or they can emails at
Speaker 1: the offair show. Who's got you know? I will say
Speaker 1: one thing that Brice Harper did, Oh my god, that
Speaker 1: was good. What do you think that was he shined
Speaker 1: a light on baseball this weekend because that that's a
Speaker 1: sport that people are saying it's boring, is tired, it
Speaker 1: needs some life. Well, Bryce Harper just breathed some new
Speaker 1: life into it for all of us. So if there's
Speaker 1: one good thing that came out of the Bryce Harper
Speaker 1: Hunter strictly and fire, are you saying that more people
Speaker 1: are gonna start watching baseball because of the bet of
Speaker 1: the brawl? Well, it gave it national attendant attention, It
Speaker 1: blew up Twitter. So you're saying that more people are
Speaker 1: gonna start to watch baseball because when they're gonna be
Speaker 1: waiting to see pictures throw baseballs at play, they're gonna
Speaker 1: see because they felt like it was for once it
Speaker 1: was excitement. What kind of Once it was a headline,
Speaker 1: a national headline, but once it was right in front
Speaker 1: of their face on their phones, you couldn't get away
Speaker 1: from it. What kind of world are we living in?
Speaker 1: And that this is what I'm saying. It's the right thing.
Speaker 1: I'm just telling you, it's a thing. So yeah, if
Speaker 1: you're the next one, that's the silver lining, The next one,
Speaker 1: another one, another one. We the best music, all right, listen.
Speaker 1: NBA Finals the State and they kick off this Thursday.
Speaker 1: You got the Calves and you got the Golden State Warriors.
Speaker 1: Last year, I lost the beat and I had clean toilets,
Speaker 1: and you and ball Free hung out and listen and
Speaker 1: watched me do it. So we're back at it, and
Speaker 1: we place in a bet or we not placing the bet?
Speaker 1: Not placing a bet? Why not? What do you want
Speaker 1: to bet? You gotta take you the Golden State or
Speaker 1: you're gonna take the Cats? Take the Cats? Why you
Speaker 1: took the Cavs last year? Yeah, so what makes you
Speaker 1: think that I will want to take them again? And
Speaker 1: I'll tell you what. We have it till Thursday. All
Speaker 1: fair heads, if you can come up with a really
Speaker 1: cool bet for us, we'll do it all right? Maybe,
Speaker 1: like you know what we can do? Remember we told
Speaker 1: Joe Gatto from The Impractical Jokers his name is Ghatto,
Speaker 1: but Joe Gado that we should Why don't we do this?
Speaker 1: Why don't we let the Impractical Jokers think of a
Speaker 1: bet for us? Can we call Joe Gado because they're
Speaker 1: gonna come up with some really badass ship and so
Speaker 1: what no stuff that's embarrassing. Let's put it at Joe Gado.
Speaker 1: They're on a whole other level, dude. That's why they
Speaker 1: get paid when they get paid to do a TV show.
Speaker 1: You know what. I'm gonna text Joe Gatto later on today. Yes, Yes,
Speaker 1: and I have a challenge. No, I'm not. I'm not
Speaker 1: shaving off a fucking eyebrows. You can take the know,
Speaker 1: you can take the calves. I'll take Golden State, and
Speaker 1: we'll see what happened to. Whatever Joe Gaddo and the
Speaker 1: rest of the practical jokers come up with for punishment,
Speaker 1: for punishment, we we're gonna have to do it whatever.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna say. I'm not gonna even make the
Speaker 1: promise because it's just gonna be an empty one, because
Speaker 1: no one's not to fill anything that those dudes say.
Speaker 1: Come on, I've seen some of the stuff they come
Speaker 1: up with. Step up and be a man, Step up
Speaker 1: and be a man. Would ship their their mothers off
Speaker 1: to fucking listen to an island. All right, We're doing it.
Speaker 1: I'm on a raft. I am texting Joe Gaddo lady
Speaker 1: today and I'm gonna tell him to come up with
Speaker 1: something and we will get back to us. That's what
Speaker 1: we're doing what's use what else is going on? So
Speaker 1: very cool. This is a cool idea. Listen this So
Speaker 1: Steven van Zand, who is one of the guitarists for
Speaker 1: the Bruce Springsteen band, right, he's been there for everyone,
Speaker 1: Bruce Street Band, E Street Band. So Steve van Zand,
Speaker 1: he is doing a concert of his own over the weekend.
Speaker 1: The crowd is there, they're all into it. Obviously they're
Speaker 1: there because, of course Steve van Zand is part of
Speaker 1: the Bruce band. Right, I'd be there just because he
Speaker 1: was on Sopranos. Okay, good point, by the way, Steve
Speaker 1: even Stephen van Zand, he was. He was one of
Speaker 1: my favorites on the Sopranos. He was. He was. He
Speaker 1: was like one of Tony's right hand man. And you
Speaker 1: know what, he never did die, all right, you know,
Speaker 1: all the other guys got whacked. He lived. Point taken.
Speaker 1: I didn't think about it. But all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: as the crowd is sitting there, Stephen van Zande starts
Speaker 1: to start to talk, tell a little story, and in
Speaker 1: the background the crowd hears this and all are you
Speaker 1: kidding me? And all of a sudden, out onto the
Speaker 1: stage walks the legendary Bruce springste and New Joses. He's
Speaker 1: not not my legend, he might be your legend. Come on,
Speaker 1: my question is that hate Bruce Springsteen across the Ford.
Speaker 1: He has a legend, He's a legend. I respect that
Speaker 1: leg I don't respect Bryce Harper, but I respect Bruce
Speaker 1: Springsteen's accomplished and he's a humble man. He comes from
Speaker 1: a book. All the family will come on South Jersey,
Speaker 1: get it, listen. But I don't like his music and
Speaker 1: never write to that like his music. I never liked
Speaker 1: his music. I'll never go to concerts you kiss because
Speaker 1: you're from New York. You're from New York. I'm not
Speaker 1: going to New York. Oh my god, you gotta hate
Speaker 1: Bruce Springsteen music, Faith, that's mon Jovi and Billy Joel.
Speaker 1: Those are my people. All right. Here's my question to
Speaker 1: the off their heads. Here's my question to you, Scary Jones.
Speaker 1: I put it out there to you. Have you ever
Speaker 1: been somewhere at another event where you had a surprise
Speaker 1: show up and perform on stage? Were you biggest surprise
Speaker 1: you ever had? I was a comedy seller watching a
Speaker 1: night of regular comics go by on a Saturday night. Yes,
Speaker 1: and who comes in late night to do a set
Speaker 1: Chris Rock. I was there with you. I was there
Speaker 1: with you. Yes, that was a great night. You're rison?
Speaker 1: Was that like totally unexpected? He was trying to test
Speaker 1: out new material. And a lot of comics do this.
Speaker 1: Jerry Seinfeld does it all the time. Um, what's her name?
Speaker 1: Garoffalo has done it? Um and uh, oh my god,
Speaker 1: who am I thinking of? I'm missing Amy Schumer. They
Speaker 1: all do it whenever they want to get the vibe
Speaker 1: off of new material before they go wide release on
Speaker 1: a new special on HBO, or go to Carnegie Hall
Speaker 1: and they'll go do a big tour. They'll go to
Speaker 1: We're All Started for them and a dirty dingy basement
Speaker 1: comedy club in New York or l A. So Greg
Speaker 1: T and I were there just seeing just a regular
Speaker 1: night of comedy. There were no major headliners than anybody
Speaker 1: has really heard of. I remember the MC coming up
Speaker 1: on stage. It's always people like David Tell, no, no
Speaker 1: offensive David Tell, but like you know, it's always like, hey,
Speaker 1: you might have seen him on but this wasn't like
Speaker 1: remember just saying, ladies and gentlemen, this is a surprise
Speaker 1: to us. All. Yeah, yeah, because what happens is Chris
Speaker 1: Rock then shows up to the back door in the
Speaker 1: kitchen and he's like, hey, I want to go on.
Speaker 1: You gotta slot for me, and yeah, go on five minutes,
Speaker 1: you'll go on next. Remember when he just I think
Speaker 1: just came out MC that comes on between acts and says,
Speaker 1: all right, ladies, gentlemen, Uh, this is a surprise Chris Rock.
Speaker 1: I'll never forget seeing him have a notebook of paper
Speaker 1: right next to him and he was just you know,
Speaker 1: scratching off like titles of these bits and he's like,
Speaker 1: let's see, you're gonna trying that one ran and then
Speaker 1: he was he wasn't he was all he was doing.
Speaker 1: It was almost like a sound check. Yeah, it was
Speaker 1: really cool to see him do that. And then like
Speaker 1: basically unscheduled, no one was paying to see him, Nope.
Speaker 1: And then based on how the crowd you know, you know,
Speaker 1: responded to it, he was like, all right, you know
Speaker 1: that's no good. That was good. And then he literally
Speaker 1: was just practicing out bits. Great one he was. He
Speaker 1: was practicing his routines and snap. So yeah, so that
Speaker 1: definitely was a fun one and here's one that I've
Speaker 1: only seen on video, and I had a friend who
Speaker 1: was there when it happened. But I can't believe that
Speaker 1: even all the YouTube concert tube into you never seen
Speaker 1: some kind of a big celebrity come out on stage
Speaker 1: with Bono. Now I'm going in the other direction. I'm
Speaker 1: talking about the completely unexpected, like Chris Rock Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: um videos on YouTube could google this. A couple of
Speaker 1: years ago, there was a cover band playing an LBI
Speaker 1: down the Jersey Shore Long Beach Challenge. Oh, I know
Speaker 1: where you're going with this, and they, you know, a
Speaker 1: cover band known for playing the hits of all the
Speaker 1: rock artists you know, from the seventies to whatever. You
Speaker 1: better have something ready to go, because if you're gonna
Speaker 1: go into this story, I think you are, you better
Speaker 1: have something ready. Yeah, Okay, go ahead. So all of
Speaker 1: a sudden, as the band is on stagands on stage
Speaker 1: and they're doing their song they they the band starts
Speaker 1: going into yeah. Could you imagine the band starts playing
Speaker 1: Living on a Prayer by bon Jovi and then out
Speaker 1: of nowhere, with the halfway through the song, Jon bon
Speaker 1: Jovia emerges from the back of the fucking room because
Speaker 1: let me tell you how it's done and perform. I
Speaker 1: believe it was this song with the cover band. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, can you imagine being the cover band unexpectedly,
Speaker 1: not even knowing, John bon Jovi was in the house
Speaker 1: performing a song and then playing the long side of
Speaker 1: him naps, God, every one of them. You know. He's
Speaker 1: he's seeing the viral video with John bon Jovi. He's
Speaker 1: at a wedding and the wedding singer is crucifying this
Speaker 1: song and John just gets up and goes, give me
Speaker 1: a mind, and then he starts singing. He's in a
Speaker 1: suit tie, he's at a wedding. He's in like this
Speaker 1: big jigantic trium and he gets up on stage and
Speaker 1: he sings the song the way. Guys gotta wet Google
Speaker 1: those moments. Google John bon Jovis Surprise, Long Beach Island,
Speaker 1: Jersey Short performing what we Yeah get different him than
Speaker 1: make it on that got it? If you don't what
Speaker 1: everybody's saying there here now we'll get yeah all you.
Speaker 1: I think the name of the venue was Joe Pops.
Speaker 1: Joe Pops. Google that. You gotta see this video of
Speaker 1: John bon Jovi just jumping on stage with a cover
Speaker 1: band in the middle of a crowded and it actually
Speaker 1: was like a Wednesday at Thursday night. Well there you go,
Speaker 1: off fairheads. If you can recall a time where you
Speaker 1: were somewhere were the greatest surprise happened in front of you,
Speaker 1: just like that, drop us on an email at deal
Speaker 1: offair show. Drop off fair show at email dot com.
Speaker 1: It's offair show at gmail dot com. Off fair show
Speaker 1: you you're delirious. Correct the affair show at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: Or you can always tweet us at the off air show.
Speaker 1: All right, give me another news headline, news headlines. I
Speaker 1: already have Stormwatch left, Oh my god, storm Watch all right?
Speaker 1: Well you know, speaking of Stormwatch, it happened in London
Speaker 1: over the weekend. It was the London's Comic Con, the
Speaker 1: real life luferig No, the Hulk and Sam Jones. You
Speaker 1: gotta see this video. It's so great. So Sam Jones,
Speaker 1: who played the part of the Flash Flash Gordon from
Speaker 1: back in the day Flash, Uh, save your universe. They
Speaker 1: literally get into it together. This is it this? How
Speaker 1: do you pull this off? Because it's my queen? You
Speaker 1: idiot a dude with classic classic Alright, So there's a
Speaker 1: video of lu Furignos. He's standing over Sam Jones and
Speaker 1: he tells them. He tells Sam Jones, he goes, you're
Speaker 1: really down out of my state and you're pushing my
Speaker 1: buttons and tell us why. So evidently there was supposed
Speaker 1: to be this autograph signage. So so the Hulk was
Speaker 1: supposed to go first and do his autographs signing, and
Speaker 1: then Sam Jones. But Sam Jones was like, I can't
Speaker 1: stay very long, so he maneuvered himself into the seat first,
Speaker 1: and lu Farigno was like, I'm the Hulk, I go first,
Speaker 1: you like when I'm angry. So my question is if
Speaker 1: you could agin a real life clash the Titans, who
Speaker 1: would be the greatest clash the Titans that you could
Speaker 1: think of? Superman verse Batman. That's that's the one, that's
Speaker 1: the iconic one. Absolutely, that's so great. I mean, like
Speaker 1: a Spider Man versus flash Boarden the hope for Spider Man.
Speaker 1: I mean, there's so many What about Wolverine versus Hawkeye?
Speaker 1: You can you can do, you can bring it, you
Speaker 1: can bring Iron Man into it. I mean there's so
Speaker 1: many into it. Clastic was there, Plastic Man, Plaistic Man
Speaker 1: my favorite cartoon. Oh my god, well listen off their
Speaker 1: heads again. Another homework assignment. Who do you think would
Speaker 1: be the greatest clash of the Titans, If there ever
Speaker 1: was gonna be one, who would it be? Let us
Speaker 1: know about bugs Bunny and Donald Duck? Is that right?
Speaker 1: That's great one? Give me a new sideline scare. Come on,
Speaker 1: I don't have any more. You gotta have one? Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: Gregg Almand died? What dude, why do you get with
Speaker 1: this song? I'm you know, Jessica does the Allman Brothers
Speaker 1: Allman died. We did lose a good one, guys. He
Speaker 1: was not a part of my deadpool? Was he on
Speaker 1: your deadpool? No? No? And hey wall freakuencly on yours?
Speaker 1: And now now you gotta here in mine? Oh sorry,
Speaker 1: all right? So none of us had him in the
Speaker 1: dead poll? Preaker an old Jewish grandma who knows nobody
Speaker 1: had him in the deadpool. I can't believe it. No,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm not All Brothers fan. You don't like
Speaker 1: the song, Melissa, I'll come out. I don't like any
Speaker 1: of this stuff. Listen. I respect much again, I respect
Speaker 1: the Allman Brothers, do not respect Bryce Harper Oh my god,
Speaker 1: we'll listen. This song is so frustrating to me. This
Speaker 1: is my one big, hated, most hated song all Brothers
Speaker 1: ever did. And the reason why this song is called Jessica.
Speaker 1: So with a song called Jessica, there should be some
Speaker 1: some lyrics. There's no lyrics this song about Jessica. So
Speaker 1: this song is called Jessica and it pisses me off.
Speaker 1: Which Jessica is in bad who knows they're not Jessica Tandy.
Speaker 1: I don't know what he's saying is about Jessica rabbit.
Speaker 1: I want to know. I have no idea what Jessica
Speaker 1: Jessica han But anyway, we did say Jessica Beal, Jennifer Beale,
Speaker 1: you know what off their heads? Who's the hottest Jessica?
Speaker 1: You know, hottest Jessica. Another homework assignment for the off
Speaker 1: fair of fans. Oh my god, pick your homework assignment.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to go with Jessica rabbit. Jesca rabbit.
Speaker 1: That is great, hot cartoon for him. All right, here
Speaker 1: here's cartoon character. Would you like to do critique? Go?
Speaker 1: I don't know, I I need I need uh. Jessica Alba,
Speaker 1: she's not a cartoon Chara, She's Still Hot Though a
Speaker 1: cover song Jessica Tandy. Guy. All right, looking, all right,
Speaker 1: we're roost there. We have two more stories to go.
Speaker 1: You guys ready, Netflix? You know it comes out tonight.
Speaker 1: What House of Cards? Don't even tell me? Spey lost me?
Speaker 1: Don't even tell me you've never seen one? Seas disappointing
Speaker 1: our offair head. What do you watch a Netflix? Bro?
Speaker 1: I don't have you. I don't even have a Netflix subscription?
Speaker 1: What no? What no? Are you? You don't watch Netflix?
Speaker 1: I mean I've seen people's Netflix in occasionally on people's
Speaker 1: passwords on their account, but I don't have my own
Speaker 1: because I don't watch it enough. I don't watch enough TV.
Speaker 1: That's like telling me that you don't have Twitter or face?
Speaker 1: Are you kidding me? How do you not have Netflix?
Speaker 1: Because it's TV overload? Then? What do you watch on TV?
Speaker 1: I mean I watched I I DV. You are some
Speaker 1: ship you know, like what number one SNL? Come on
Speaker 1: Park Family Family guy? What those things are old? Are
Speaker 1: you kidding? They have new episodes? You kidding me? You
Speaker 1: don't watch anything on Netflix? Don't have an account? I
Speaker 1: feel the ground rumbling under my legs. Right now we
Speaker 1: are about the Cave, the Walking Day and all that crap.
Speaker 1: What else, dude? Are you dexter? I never saw a
Speaker 1: bad not I can name them all. You know what
Speaker 1: they were all about. But I've never taken time because
Speaker 1: I don't have time in my life, have time to
Speaker 1: do this podcast? Are you hearing what I'm hearing? Do
Speaker 1: you hear what I hear? Scary? Play that Christmas song? No?
Speaker 1: Do not? Do not? It's tune. Do not If you
Speaker 1: play Christmas song, I'm gonna hit you. Do not know
Speaker 1: I'm gonna play it. Do not? Do you hear what
Speaker 1: I hear? The top five most listen I'm gonna play
Speaker 1: the Carpenteres version, Oh my god, the top oh my,
Speaker 1: the top five most watch Netflix TV shows right now.
Speaker 1: Masters of None he's number five right now. That's with
Speaker 1: Z's Amsari. Shut this off. Now, I've seen a seasons
Speaker 1: to stand up. He's hilarious. He's in a show called
Speaker 1: Masters of None. It's so good. Second season Stranger Things
Speaker 1: comes at number four. I know I heard about it
Speaker 1: and never saw it. Bow Jack Horseman third season is
Speaker 1: number three. Kid give two ships, unproject this off? Shut
Speaker 1: it off? You're driving me for kid nuts with this crap. Unbreakable.
Speaker 1: It's unbreakable, Kenny Schmidt. You ever seen that one? No, No,
Speaker 1: nbreakable Jimmy Schmidt. Kimmy, Who's Jimmy Schmidt? Wasn't he? The
Speaker 1: character on you don't even watch Netflix? The character I
Speaker 1: feel like I'm talking to my mother. My mother watches
Speaker 1: Netflix Breakable Jimmy Schmidt. My mother, who's seventy years old,
Speaker 1: watches Netflix. And the number one most watched TV show
Speaker 1: on Netflix right now currently is Orange is the New Black?
Speaker 1: And Ye and Girls and all that other stuff right
Speaker 1: now number season five New Black is about the lesbians
Speaker 1: in prison? Right, they're not lesbians? What's wrong with the
Speaker 1: emmitt in prison? Yes, they're women in prison? I thought there,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I know nothing about it. I do
Speaker 1: know some of the people in this We've got a problem.
Speaker 1: Calling for your support. Help me out. What are you
Speaker 1: watching on Netflix? Off fairheads? Get in touch with us,
Speaker 1: off their heads? If you don't, If you're like me
Speaker 1: and you don't even have a Netflix account or who account?
Speaker 1: Who do you think doesn't have a NETFLI I off listen.
Speaker 1: We'll see you tomorrow. Wait, we got one new swords,
Speaker 1: one story left. I'm not doing do it over the song?
Speaker 1: You need one more song? You better get one more song.
Speaker 1: I need one more song. Get this off. This is
Speaker 1: this is disgusting. It's June. You're playing me? Do you
Speaker 1: and I you? It could be December when somebody's catching
Speaker 1: up on their podcasts. You never know when somebody's listening
Speaker 1: to episode number one thirty eight of The Off Fair Show.
Speaker 1: All right, last story? Ready? Who's off fair he Show?
Speaker 1: Listen off fair Heads? You drive me nuts. It happened
Speaker 1: in history today in nineteen sixty three. Oh what a night?
Speaker 1: What a night? Now lay this out. We're back in
Speaker 1: sixty three. What is the song? That is not the song?
Speaker 1: Hold on? Let me get that song. No, do not.
Speaker 1: You just said it happened in nineties. The story one
Speaker 1: hold on a second? Off their Heads. We gotta listen
Speaker 1: to the song Wax Sparrows Gone Crazy. The name of
Speaker 1: the story is the name of the song is December
Speaker 1: nineteen three? Or what a night? Oh my god? In
Speaker 1: the four seasons we need wal freaking here. Now read
Speaker 1: what you just said to me. Oh listen, listen, let
Speaker 1: this up. Back in sixty No didn't you just say
Speaker 1: it happened in Deceper sixty three, and I said, what
Speaker 1: happened today in nineteen sixty three? What happened today? In
Speaker 1: nineteen Leslie Gore. She performed It's My Party on American Bandstand,
Speaker 1: a little music tribute for you today. You know the
Speaker 1: song It's My Party, Yeah, give it to me. This
Speaker 1: one we did. We did a show like American Bandstand
Speaker 1: us what we Need. This song went to number one
Speaker 1: for eleven weeks. She played this on American band Stand
Speaker 1: with Dick Clark, Ladies and gentlemen. This concludes another broadcast
Speaker 1: on the Off Air show. Okay Now tomorrow, We're we're
Speaker 1: gonna do a very serious podcast. We're gonna flip the switch.
Speaker 1: Yes we are. We're gonna do and all who's We've
Speaker 1: been telling you guys that we this podcast. We don't
Speaker 1: know what the future of it is gonna be. We don't.
Speaker 1: We're gonna we might have another collaborative effort coming up.
Speaker 1: We're lucky we got through today's Off fair show. But
Speaker 1: I'm gonna try something there with bad Freak, maybe something else,
Speaker 1: Maybe boll freaking get his head out of his ask.
Speaker 1: Maybe he can be a part of the show. We're
Speaker 1: gonna we might add new cast members. We're also gonna
Speaker 1: break the podcast apart. Potentially, maybe we can crack the
Speaker 1: keyboard off a ball Frey's head. I might do something
Speaker 1: with share for share Nose, but please something be my guest,
Speaker 1: roll up the red carpet for that one. And we're gonna,
Speaker 1: we're gonna, We're gonna, We're gonna try other things. But
Speaker 1: we don't know what we're gonna do. We want to
Speaker 1: change the logo, we want to change the name. We
Speaker 1: don't know what we're gonna do, but I say we
Speaker 1: play ballfork up against the walls or tomatoes Adam. But
Speaker 1: tomorrow we're gonna try something completely different. We're gonna do
Speaker 1: like a public service for everybody. We're gonna have our
Speaker 1: friends in the New Jersey Sharing Network as we are,
Speaker 1: and it's not gonna be your typical podcast, but we
Speaker 1: will give you episode one tomorrow. Correct Correct This coming Sunday,
Speaker 1: I'm hosting another one of their events. It's another five
Speaker 1: k run walk for the New Jersey Sharing Network. Check
Speaker 1: them out n J Sharing Network dot org. And tomorrow,
Speaker 1: like you said, we'll have somebody out, say Jack Loo