1 00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:03,520 Speaker 1: My husband cheated with his intern. Fine, I'm gonna date 2 00:00:03,560 --> 00:00:06,600 Speaker 1: the intern's dat. Now everyone's about to find out, and 3 00:00:06,680 --> 00:00:09,360 Speaker 1: I don't know what to do. Am I the a 4 00:00:09,520 --> 00:00:13,039 Speaker 1: hole and everyone watching? I would be remiss if I 5 00:00:13,119 --> 00:00:15,920 Speaker 1: didn't bring on someone to help me get to the 6 00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:20,720 Speaker 1: bottom of this giant mystery. Today we are welcoming Julia 7 00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:24,360 Speaker 1: from the Pretty Much Done podcast. Julia, thank you so 8 00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:25,680 Speaker 1: much for joining us today. 9 00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:28,760 Speaker 2: Thank you John. I'm so excited to kind of pick 10 00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:30,320 Speaker 2: this apart and figure it out. 11 00:00:30,560 --> 00:00:33,040 Speaker 1: Are you ready for the tomfoolery because it's looking like 12 00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:34,040 Speaker 1: an interesting one. 13 00:00:34,280 --> 00:00:36,280 Speaker 2: I know, I don't know if I'm ready, but we 14 00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:37,040 Speaker 2: will find. 15 00:00:36,800 --> 00:00:39,720 Speaker 1: Out that that is truly the only answer. That is 16 00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:42,960 Speaker 1: truly the only answer. Well, let's dive into it. Let's see, 17 00:00:43,159 --> 00:00:43,760 Speaker 1: let's do it. 18 00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:44,360 Speaker 3: So. 19 00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:46,960 Speaker 1: I don't know how to put this, but this is 20 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:50,040 Speaker 1: a bizarre situation. I used to be married to my 21 00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:53,440 Speaker 1: husband Alan before we got divorced three years ago because 22 00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:57,040 Speaker 1: he had an affair with the intern working in his office. 23 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:01,760 Speaker 1: Can we like the intern thing? Needs to We really 24 00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:02,800 Speaker 1: need to put an end to this. 25 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:05,480 Speaker 2: I also want to know the ages. I want to 26 00:01:05,480 --> 00:01:06,959 Speaker 2: know the age of Alan, and I want to know 27 00:01:06,959 --> 00:01:07,880 Speaker 2: the age of the intern. 28 00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:12,800 Speaker 1: It's always a just like grossly too high age difference, 29 00:01:12,959 --> 00:01:14,440 Speaker 1: like always. 30 00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:15,840 Speaker 2: Always, That's what I'm thinking here. 31 00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:20,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, Sam, needless to say, he made the typical excuses, 32 00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:23,200 Speaker 1: like I fell out of love, she makes me feel 33 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:27,319 Speaker 1: special and our sex life was boring. Can't you just 34 00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:29,520 Speaker 1: Julia help me out here? Can't they just say the worse? 35 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:32,240 Speaker 2: He's the worst? Yeah, he can just say that. And 36 00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:35,319 Speaker 2: obviously he loves the intern. Who is he has a 37 00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:38,480 Speaker 2: power dynamic over who's just telling him all that he 38 00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:40,720 Speaker 2: wants to hear. But okay, continue. 39 00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:46,720 Speaker 1: What makes it worse is his affairs partner was my 40 00:01:46,959 --> 00:01:55,480 Speaker 1: daughter's twenty four female friend. Oh Jesus, oh that makes it. Wow, 41 00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:56,919 Speaker 1: that makes it so much worse. 42 00:01:57,360 --> 00:01:59,919 Speaker 2: Did the daughter prefer the girl for the internship? 43 00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:04,480 Speaker 1: That is a great question. We're gonna need to try 44 00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:07,240 Speaker 1: and figure that out because if so, that would be 45 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:09,720 Speaker 1: just so tragic. 46 00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:10,720 Speaker 3: Man. 47 00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:13,880 Speaker 2: The daughter's like, morally not okay too, She's like she's 48 00:02:13,919 --> 00:02:14,639 Speaker 2: going through it too. 49 00:02:14,919 --> 00:02:19,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, come on, So it was overall gross from his part. 50 00:02:20,120 --> 00:02:23,120 Speaker 1: My daughter and son twenty one male don't have a 51 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:27,080 Speaker 1: good relationship with their dads anyways, especially my daughter having 52 00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:30,160 Speaker 1: cut her dad out of her life. I was pretty devastated, 53 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:32,960 Speaker 1: to say the least. My whole world fell apart. I 54 00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:36,200 Speaker 1: am still in therapy for some issues, but onto a fair. 55 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:40,520 Speaker 1: Partner's father, Ezra knew all about this. He once came 56 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:44,000 Speaker 1: into my house and apologized for his daughter's behavior and 57 00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:46,680 Speaker 1: that he taught her better than this. Okay, so it 58 00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:53,079 Speaker 1: looks like the intern slash daughter's friend slash affair partner. 59 00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:56,959 Speaker 1: Her dad came in to op and was like, hey, 60 00:02:57,240 --> 00:02:59,840 Speaker 1: you know, I apologize for this, which is I mean, 61 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:02,640 Speaker 1: what a what a strange position to be in as well, 62 00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:05,080 Speaker 1: like the father who I guess they I guess they 63 00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:08,240 Speaker 1: all knew each other from like the daughter's friends. 64 00:03:08,919 --> 00:03:11,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, must have been. I mean, it's so funny. I'm thinking, like, 65 00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:13,840 Speaker 2: you know, like the DM slide, like the man showed 66 00:03:13,919 --> 00:03:16,480 Speaker 2: up at this woman's door and he's like, he literally 67 00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:18,200 Speaker 2: walked over into her DMS. 68 00:03:18,919 --> 00:03:21,880 Speaker 1: Oh interesting way you think he shooting a shot or 69 00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:23,040 Speaker 1: I don't know. 70 00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:25,040 Speaker 2: I mean, no, no, I'm not taking it there. But 71 00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:27,400 Speaker 2: I mean, we know what's going to happen. So how 72 00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:29,000 Speaker 2: did this, you know, get initiated. 73 00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:31,520 Speaker 1: I'm trying to figure that out. That's true. That's true. 74 00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:33,880 Speaker 2: No, I don't think that that was the intent. I 75 00:03:33,919 --> 00:03:36,360 Speaker 2: don't know. Maybe that's it's too soon to tell. 76 00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:42,280 Speaker 1: That would be That would be pretty insane strategy. Oh God, 77 00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:44,440 Speaker 1: we've seen worse, though. 78 00:03:44,720 --> 00:03:46,240 Speaker 2: I'm sure this is pretty bad. 79 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:50,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, this is pretty rough. Now, his wife had 80 00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:52,720 Speaker 1: abandoned him and his daughter when she was little, so 81 00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:55,960 Speaker 1: he hoped that his daughter, the affair partner, knows how 82 00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:59,560 Speaker 1: disappointed her father is. For some weird reason, we continue 83 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:03,160 Speaker 1: to talk, probably because we were both betrayed spouses. He 84 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:05,960 Speaker 1: helped me go through the pain. He eventually asked me 85 00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:09,040 Speaker 1: out and said he hasn't had loving feelings for anyone 86 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:12,080 Speaker 1: since his wife left him. He knows it will make 87 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:15,600 Speaker 1: things complicated. Okay, So, Julie, I think your theory is 88 00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:19,200 Speaker 1: right where you know they came together. They've both kind 89 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:21,800 Speaker 1: of been through this situation before, and I guess just 90 00:04:21,839 --> 00:04:24,880 Speaker 1: like bonded through that experience. 91 00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:28,760 Speaker 2: Yeah. On my podcast, we call that a trauma bond. Yeah, 92 00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:33,360 Speaker 2: that is what people do. The not to divert from 93 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:37,400 Speaker 2: the topic, but the daughter is obviously has like abandonment 94 00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:40,800 Speaker 2: issues because of the mom, and that's clearly she's got 95 00:04:40,839 --> 00:04:42,800 Speaker 2: to go to therapy and like figure that stuff out 96 00:04:42,839 --> 00:04:46,760 Speaker 2: because if she's hooking up with her friend's dad and 97 00:04:46,839 --> 00:04:49,880 Speaker 2: her boss, that she's got a lot. I have a 98 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:51,680 Speaker 2: good referral for her if she needs. 99 00:04:51,520 --> 00:04:54,720 Speaker 1: There, we go. If Op, if you're watching this, please 100 00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:57,360 Speaker 1: please let us let us help you out here. You 101 00:04:57,640 --> 00:05:01,479 Speaker 1: deserve some help. Micah. Yes, yeah, do you see Do 102 00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:04,279 Speaker 1: you see this kind of thing often where people will 103 00:05:04,279 --> 00:05:06,560 Speaker 1: literally go and kind of repeat the same behaviors that 104 00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:08,720 Speaker 1: they saw that their parents do, like specifically with their 105 00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:09,360 Speaker 1: dating life. 106 00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:13,320 Speaker 2: It's more so about like how your relationship with your parent, 107 00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:17,480 Speaker 2: it determines your attachment style. So it sounds like because 108 00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:20,760 Speaker 2: her mom didn't show her love, she looked for validation 109 00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:24,960 Speaker 2: in men, and clearly her morals went out the window 110 00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:27,120 Speaker 2: and decided to hook up with her friend's dad. So 111 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,680 Speaker 2: that's what That's what I'm sensing here. 112 00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:31,400 Speaker 1: It's Julia, this is this is why we need you 113 00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:33,880 Speaker 1: to break this down. It seems I think you're I 114 00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:37,040 Speaker 1: think you're hitting the nail on the head here. Let's 115 00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:40,120 Speaker 1: keep let's keep going. I am also wrong. I was 116 00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:43,880 Speaker 1: feeling vindication at that point in my mind. I kept playing, 117 00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:46,400 Speaker 1: you can hook up with my husband, I can hook 118 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:48,920 Speaker 1: up with your dad. Okay, so it seems like maybe 119 00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:55,279 Speaker 1: Opie is having some not so positive thinking, potentially self aware. 120 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:59,400 Speaker 2: But do you think that OPI like wants the girl 121 00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:01,240 Speaker 2: to know she hooked up with her dad too. 122 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:05,680 Speaker 1: It seems like it like, from the little context we 123 00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:09,440 Speaker 1: have so far, my take on Ezra, the father of 124 00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:14,520 Speaker 1: the intern affair partner slash daughter's best friend, it seems 125 00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:17,920 Speaker 1: like he kind of came into it and it kind 126 00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:19,760 Speaker 1: of just happened where it's like, hey, we have this 127 00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:22,040 Speaker 1: trauma bond, we get to know each other through this experience, 128 00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:25,000 Speaker 1: and lo and behold, I'm in love with you, and let's, 129 00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:27,560 Speaker 1: you know, let's begin a relationship. But it feels like 130 00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:31,200 Speaker 1: maybe op I feel like my theory is is maybe 131 00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:33,440 Speaker 1: a mix of both, where she's like, hey, here is 132 00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:37,799 Speaker 1: someone who I'm you know, comforted me in this terrible situation, 133 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:42,120 Speaker 1: who I have feelings for, but also is helping me 134 00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:43,600 Speaker 1: get sweet sweet revenge. 135 00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:48,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, I like, I'm such a hopeless romantic. I'm like, oh, 136 00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:51,000 Speaker 2: like I want this happily ever after. But Opie is 137 00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:52,159 Speaker 2: a little sick. 138 00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:56,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, hopefully hopefully, I mean, at least there there does 139 00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:58,640 Speaker 1: seem to be at least a dash of self awareness 140 00:06:59,040 --> 00:06:59,760 Speaker 1: in this mix. 141 00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:04,600 Speaker 2: Totally knows. Yeah, she's writing about it. She knows. She's like, listen, 142 00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:08,960 Speaker 2: I know what's been happening, and this isn't so great. 143 00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:11,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, So I'm praying. And we've actually had a very 144 00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:15,080 Speaker 1: similar story before that ended up very positive in the end. 145 00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:18,760 Speaker 1: So I'm praying this becomes the full circle moment where 146 00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:21,680 Speaker 1: op does not give into the dark side. 147 00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:24,560 Speaker 2: Fingers cross, fingers. 148 00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:26,920 Speaker 1: Crossed, fingers crossed, one hundred percent. And I know that 149 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:30,160 Speaker 1: this is silly and childish, but after we started dating, 150 00:07:30,240 --> 00:07:32,720 Speaker 1: things have been going great. He is a great partner 151 00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:36,160 Speaker 1: and lover. I do like Ezra. We've had multiple conversations 152 00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:38,640 Speaker 1: about this, and I had my doubts about it, but 153 00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:42,440 Speaker 1: so far, no red flax. Ezra has expressed that he 154 00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:44,720 Speaker 1: wants to tell his daughter about this. 155 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:50,400 Speaker 2: Wow, the things that really turned around for us. I'm 156 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:52,000 Speaker 2: I'm watching a rom com. 157 00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:55,240 Speaker 1: We really are, though. This is truly just that someone 158 00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:57,880 Speaker 1: just take a rom com like movie script and just 159 00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:02,200 Speaker 1: make this a life story. Mike God, Yeah, Okay. 160 00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:04,280 Speaker 2: I want to know what's happening with the daughter. This 161 00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:06,400 Speaker 2: is where things start to become tragic. 162 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:09,640 Speaker 1: Oh yes, I am not sure what to expect. How 163 00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:12,600 Speaker 1: can I tell her that I am sleeping with her dad. 164 00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:18,440 Speaker 1: That's a tough thing to tell somebody. My daughter knows 165 00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:21,320 Speaker 1: and thinks that it's hilarious. The only reason I am 166 00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:24,600 Speaker 1: continuing this relationship is because I know that the affair 167 00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:28,040 Speaker 1: partner will get bored off of my husband one day. 168 00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:30,920 Speaker 2: Okay, she's still with the husband. 169 00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:37,240 Speaker 1: It looks like it, Oh my god, like it because 170 00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:40,880 Speaker 1: I heard whispers from outside that he is having troubles 171 00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:43,480 Speaker 1: with the affair partner. Like, what should I expect from this? 172 00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:46,480 Speaker 1: How will I handle the affair partner when she gets 173 00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:50,319 Speaker 1: to know about me and her dad? So we are 174 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:54,360 Speaker 1: about to hop into the first of two juicy updates, 175 00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:56,760 Speaker 1: But I want to pause real quick and break it 176 00:08:56,800 --> 00:09:03,199 Speaker 1: down Julia. So we have op who husband cheated on her, 177 00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:05,839 Speaker 1: is still with the person that he was cheating with, 178 00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:11,080 Speaker 1: who was her daughter's best friend slash husband. 179 00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:12,439 Speaker 3: And now. 180 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:17,679 Speaker 1: OPI is beginning to dive deeper into this burgeoning relationship 181 00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:23,640 Speaker 1: with her father, and everyone is facing the imminent question 182 00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:31,000 Speaker 1: and exposure of the relationship. I'm curious from your perspective, 183 00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:34,760 Speaker 1: whether it be advice or just how to generally tackle this. 184 00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:37,560 Speaker 1: What do you think Opie should do or what should 185 00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:41,120 Speaker 1: op be? Like thinking through as she's like about to 186 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:45,839 Speaker 1: kind of cross this path and potentially telling the daughter. 187 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:48,160 Speaker 2: I mean most important to me and she has not 188 00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:51,280 Speaker 2: brought up nearly enough times is like making sure her 189 00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:53,840 Speaker 2: kids are okay. Like she said that her daughter thinks 190 00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:56,960 Speaker 2: it's hilarious, but I'm like, I don't really care about 191 00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:59,440 Speaker 2: the girl who had the affair, like I care about 192 00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:02,080 Speaker 2: my kid. It's not ending fucked up after all of this. 193 00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:07,400 Speaker 2: I think that she's not thinking about that enough. And 194 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:10,000 Speaker 2: out of all of this, I think the daughter is 195 00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:12,280 Speaker 2: like the goat of the story, like she's like, I 196 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:13,320 Speaker 2: cut off my dad. 197 00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:14,400 Speaker 1: I think it's. 198 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:17,280 Speaker 2: Hilarious and I'm just living my life. But like five 199 00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:19,679 Speaker 2: years later, who knows, Like what if she ends up 200 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:22,200 Speaker 2: in some messed up relationship because she has all of 201 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:25,440 Speaker 2: this trauma. I like, I think we got as a mother, 202 00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:28,480 Speaker 2: we got to think about our kids here. I don't 203 00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:32,280 Speaker 2: care about the affair girl. I you know, I don't 204 00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:35,720 Speaker 2: even care about Ezra so much. I'm like, check in 205 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:36,480 Speaker 2: on your kids? 206 00:10:36,640 --> 00:10:39,880 Speaker 1: Where's the daughter? Wow? My goodness, that that is exactly 207 00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:42,440 Speaker 1: what needs to happen. And also like what if you know, 208 00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:45,200 Speaker 1: the mom says, you know, she's laughing it off, but 209 00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:48,200 Speaker 1: what if that's her kind of response to things that 210 00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:50,960 Speaker 1: make her feel uncomfortable or like, you know, she's just 211 00:10:51,040 --> 00:10:54,000 Speaker 1: kind of us uses the humor, uses the laughter as 212 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:55,760 Speaker 1: a way to kind of like not have to deal 213 00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:58,760 Speaker 1: with those feelings or have those hard conversations. Are not 214 00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:01,599 Speaker 1: even just have the hard converse, but have a conversation 215 00:11:01,679 --> 00:11:03,440 Speaker 1: with her mom to see if she's okay. 216 00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:06,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, she like doesn't have parental figures right now. Her 217 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:09,200 Speaker 2: dad is like sleeping with her friend and her mom 218 00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:14,960 Speaker 2: is sleeping with her friend's dad. Like every like she's 219 00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:17,559 Speaker 2: just sitting there like what is going on? And I'm 220 00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:20,320 Speaker 2: sure she's twenty four as well, Like that's not the 221 00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:23,280 Speaker 2: easiest time to be going through all of this. 222 00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:25,760 Speaker 1: This is this is a complete like rule, like the 223 00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:28,280 Speaker 1: parents are like, you know, parents of a twenty four 224 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:30,760 Speaker 1: year old, and they are the ones like bringing the 225 00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:32,439 Speaker 1: twenty four year old energy into the. 226 00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:36,160 Speaker 2: Equation one hundred percent. It's giving midlife crisis. 227 00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:38,760 Speaker 1: Wow, this is this is yeah, but I think I 228 00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:40,760 Speaker 1: think I think that's a great point, like checking on 229 00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:44,400 Speaker 1: the daughter, make sure she's okay, Like that is absolute 230 00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:48,880 Speaker 1: number one most important. You know, whatever happens with Ezra 231 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,839 Speaker 1: or anyone else, your relationship with your daughters is forever, 232 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:53,600 Speaker 1: and obviously that's the person you want to make sure 233 00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:56,480 Speaker 1: is doing okay, And all of this. 234 00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:59,199 Speaker 2: My goodness, that's just my two cents. That's a girl 235 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:01,600 Speaker 2: who doesn't have kids. That's my two cents. 236 00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:05,640 Speaker 1: Well, Julia, we have an update. Okay, let's get into it. 237 00:12:05,679 --> 00:12:07,599 Speaker 1: So before going on with this update, I want to 238 00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:10,120 Speaker 1: make one thing clear about my previous post. When I 239 00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:13,240 Speaker 1: said that I am only continuing this relationship because I 240 00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:15,320 Speaker 1: heard my ex and a fair partner would break up, 241 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,199 Speaker 1: I meant that I am glad that there would be 242 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:20,400 Speaker 1: less drama. Okay, that's a pretty good thing to clarify, 243 00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:22,840 Speaker 1: because I was wondering about myself, like I'm I'm only 244 00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:25,880 Speaker 1: doing this while they're together to drive a wedge to 245 00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:26,680 Speaker 1: tear them apart. 246 00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:29,120 Speaker 2: Okay, she's not completely lost it. 247 00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:31,160 Speaker 1: Yes, there we go the rails. She got a few 248 00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:31,760 Speaker 1: marbles left. 249 00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:32,679 Speaker 2: Yeah. 250 00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:35,400 Speaker 1: Yes. When I started dating Ezra, it was supposed to 251 00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:38,199 Speaker 1: be a fling, but I slowly developed feelings for him. 252 00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:41,800 Speaker 1: I like him, and the situation is complicated. Just imagine 253 00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:45,120 Speaker 1: me being my ex husband's step. 254 00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:52,640 Speaker 2: Oh my god, that's the best part about it. God, 255 00:12:53,559 --> 00:12:56,280 Speaker 2: that's so good. That's like the new the sequel to 256 00:12:56,320 --> 00:12:56,959 Speaker 2: The Parent Trap. 257 00:12:57,360 --> 00:13:00,800 Speaker 1: Yeah we really need Yeah. Yeah, the the ex husbands 258 00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:05,240 Speaker 1: stepmother in Law Trap coming to featuring Lindsay Lohan. It's 259 00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:08,800 Speaker 1: the crazy mom Oh my god, she would crush that 260 00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:10,320 Speaker 1: role though shout out yes she would. 261 00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:12,480 Speaker 2: Oh my god, that's the role she was meant to play. 262 00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:15,360 Speaker 1: That is so true. That is so true. It sounds weird, 263 00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:18,959 Speaker 1: and that's why I am continuing the relationship. Okay, now 264 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,880 Speaker 1: onto the update. Yesterday, a fair partner came for lunch 265 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:25,079 Speaker 1: at Ezra's house. It was a surprise. I was there. 266 00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:27,880 Speaker 1: I think this is the moment, y'all, the moment we've 267 00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:30,880 Speaker 1: been waiting for. When she saw me, she asked, what 268 00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:33,240 Speaker 1: am I doing there. Ezra told her that he has 269 00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:35,600 Speaker 1: been dating me for a couple of months and this 270 00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:38,240 Speaker 1: is what he wanted to tell her next week. Oh 271 00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:40,880 Speaker 1: so this is not even like the planned sit down. 272 00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:46,040 Speaker 2: Yikes, yikes. Do you remember in the Parent Trap when 273 00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:49,040 Speaker 2: like he tells her he's gonna like be with the 274 00:13:49,440 --> 00:13:52,880 Speaker 2: woman Meredith and she's like, oh, you're adopting her? Like 275 00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:55,360 Speaker 2: I wonder what the daughter. The daughter was literally Lindsay 276 00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:58,240 Speaker 2: Lahan being like, you're adopting her to be my sister 277 00:13:58,679 --> 00:14:00,840 Speaker 2: and she's like, no, oh, she's going to be your 278 00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:03,760 Speaker 2: step mother and your boyfriend's stepmother. 279 00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:07,600 Speaker 1: This is really where we're at with this. I also 280 00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:09,920 Speaker 1: realized I do not remember the parent trap plot as 281 00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:12,199 Speaker 1: well as I thought. I. Did you need you need 282 00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:14,199 Speaker 1: to rewind? Do you need to revisit it? Shout out 283 00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:17,199 Speaker 1: Lindsay's really the goat? Shout out Lindsay Lohan two times. 284 00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:20,680 Speaker 1: He didn't know that it would be happening this fast. 285 00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:24,440 Speaker 1: A fair partner was obviously not happy. She kept saying 286 00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:26,600 Speaker 1: that she didn't approve of it? Uh, do you think 287 00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:29,280 Speaker 1: that she approves of you sleeping with her husband? I'm sorry? 288 00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:33,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly, Yeah, moral police over here. She 289 00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:34,520 Speaker 2: doesn't approve. 290 00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:39,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, the math ain't math and girl, No, it's so weird. 291 00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:42,400 Speaker 1: How can Ezra do this to her? There was screaming 292 00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:44,680 Speaker 1: from her part, and he told me to get out. 293 00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:47,760 Speaker 1: Ezra wanted to calm her down, but nothing worked. I 294 00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:50,000 Speaker 1: wanted to tell her to sit down and talk, but 295 00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:53,040 Speaker 1: she was about to grab me, but before that, Ezra 296 00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:55,280 Speaker 1: stopped her. Okay, so it seems like things are getting 297 00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:58,560 Speaker 1: like heated in this in this sit. 298 00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:00,760 Speaker 2: Down here, this girl's like unhinged. 299 00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:04,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's I'm picking that up as well. 300 00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:08,120 Speaker 2: But we like Ezra for caring about her feelings. He 301 00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:09,200 Speaker 2: knows how to parent. 302 00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:12,000 Speaker 1: For sure. Yeah, Ezra's actually like trying to and you 303 00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:14,760 Speaker 1: know what, to be fair, Ezra, this is a hard 304 00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:19,240 Speaker 1: situation when you're stepping into your Oh god, what is 305 00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:23,440 Speaker 1: she to her like your potential mother in law, exes, 306 00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:28,920 Speaker 1: you know, current partner's ex wife. Goodness, gracious, I cannot 307 00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:32,960 Speaker 1: I cannot say these titles anymore. He also yelled at 308 00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:35,400 Speaker 1: her that she has the audacity to tell him who 309 00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:38,320 Speaker 1: he should date when she shamelessly dated a married man, 310 00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:41,080 Speaker 1: and that to someone who is her friend's father. At 311 00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:44,520 Speaker 1: least his relationship isn't inappropriate because we're both the same age. 312 00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:46,680 Speaker 1: At least she needs to look at her life and 313 00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:50,080 Speaker 1: it's poor choices. She lost her friends, she lost respect 314 00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:52,400 Speaker 1: in the eyes for a family. She almost lost her 315 00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:55,160 Speaker 1: job because of her affair. Oh that's right, I didn't 316 00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:56,280 Speaker 1: even think about that part. 317 00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:59,440 Speaker 2: By the way, calling an internship a job is kind 318 00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:05,200 Speaker 2: of a title. You almost lost your internship Yeah. Wow, 319 00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:08,680 Speaker 2: she's still employed because she's having sex with her boss. 320 00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:11,000 Speaker 1: I mean, man, i'd if i'm her, I'm like, at 321 00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:14,840 Speaker 1: least get me a raise or something going through all this, 322 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:18,840 Speaker 1: My goodness, I need my future secured, buddy. Yeah, oh 323 00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:24,240 Speaker 1: my gosh, jeez, she has no say in who he 324 00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:27,480 Speaker 1: dates when she didn't listen to him about allan my ex. 325 00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:30,200 Speaker 1: If it makes her uncomfortable, she needs to deal with 326 00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:34,560 Speaker 1: it herself, because my ex and her relationship makes everyone uncomfortable. 327 00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:37,720 Speaker 1: That is true. Ezra even said that she was turning 328 00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:41,200 Speaker 1: into her mother, a selfish woman who abandoned her family. 329 00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:46,920 Speaker 1: That trauma that cuts deep. 330 00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:50,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, I told you she needs a therapist. She needs 331 00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:51,440 Speaker 2: to go to therapy. 332 00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:55,040 Speaker 1: Oh she My goodness, she does, My goodness, she does. 333 00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:58,000 Speaker 1: That seems to have triggered her. She shouted that he 334 00:16:58,120 --> 00:17:01,000 Speaker 1: must have done something and that that's why she left him. 335 00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:04,680 Speaker 1: Oh oh gosh, this is just this has gone from 336 00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:07,720 Speaker 1: mud slinging to I don't know what slinging, but not 337 00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:08,600 Speaker 1: a pretty picture. 338 00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:09,680 Speaker 2: Not good. 339 00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:13,080 Speaker 1: She even made comments like my husband left me because 340 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:16,000 Speaker 1: I must have done something, which is odd because while 341 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:18,840 Speaker 1: the affair was going on, my husband wasn't distant at 342 00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:21,439 Speaker 1: all or showing any signs of cheating. I got to 343 00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:23,879 Speaker 1: know about the affair from my daughter. There were a 344 00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:26,960 Speaker 1: few more screaming matches, and then she left. I honestly 345 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:29,400 Speaker 1: felt bad. And then it hit me. She may be 346 00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:33,760 Speaker 1: carrying her anger towards her mother to her relationship, which 347 00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:34,720 Speaker 1: I think is what you. 348 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:37,920 Speaker 2: Were saying, like relationship with yeah, yeah, yeah, like hit 349 00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:39,840 Speaker 2: the guy, like seeking validation. 350 00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:43,240 Speaker 1: Exactly like this this frustration that she had. Now she's like, Okay, 351 00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:46,040 Speaker 1: I'm looking for validation elsewhere since I couldn't get it 352 00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:49,840 Speaker 1: from my maternal figure. Yeah. 353 00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:51,880 Speaker 2: And then and then it's like misplacing her at her 354 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:56,119 Speaker 2: dad and then misplacing you know, yeah. 355 00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:59,679 Speaker 1: One hundred percent. She must be under the impression that 356 00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:02,560 Speaker 1: her mother must have left her and cheated because something 357 00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:05,800 Speaker 1: her father did. I don't know what lies my ex 358 00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:09,040 Speaker 1: told her, but she used that to justify her affair. 359 00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:11,600 Speaker 1: In her mind, she is saving a man from a 360 00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:15,400 Speaker 1: bad marriage because she wanted to save her mom or dad. 361 00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:18,800 Speaker 1: I know it sounds complicated, but that's what I think. 362 00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:22,280 Speaker 1: She's carrying trauma into her relationship. That very night, I 363 00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:24,600 Speaker 1: sat down with Ezra and told him, we need to 364 00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:27,439 Speaker 1: take a break from our relationship. He said it's not 365 00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:30,160 Speaker 1: necessary and he doesn't want to talk to her anymore. 366 00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:33,080 Speaker 1: I tried to explain things to him. Her daughter dating 367 00:18:33,119 --> 00:18:36,200 Speaker 1: my husband has made things complicated enough, and me dating 368 00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:39,400 Speaker 1: him would make things even more twisted and more over, 369 00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:42,359 Speaker 1: the issue seems to be bigger than us. His daughter 370 00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:45,560 Speaker 1: needs him. She seems to be lost and confused. Okay, 371 00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:47,960 Speaker 1: I want to stop real quick here. We still have 372 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,359 Speaker 1: more into the update, but Julie, I wanted to get 373 00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:54,040 Speaker 1: your perspective and everyone watching right now, it seemed like 374 00:18:54,720 --> 00:19:01,040 Speaker 1: Ezra and Ope's relationship began semi decent in terms of 375 00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:03,600 Speaker 1: like it seemed like Ezra was was pretty genuine and 376 00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:07,520 Speaker 1: Opie had you know, some some like vengeance in her mind, 377 00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:09,800 Speaker 1: but also maybe some like real feelings there as well, 378 00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:13,239 Speaker 1: and was like trying to sort that out and you know, 379 00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:19,760 Speaker 1: maybe get on on the right path. But it's I'm like, this, 380 00:19:20,119 --> 00:19:23,560 Speaker 1: is it at all possible to salvage any of these 381 00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:26,919 Speaker 1: relationships at this point? Like, I think it's smart for 382 00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:28,720 Speaker 1: op to take a break, but yeah, what what do 383 00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:30,520 Speaker 1: you what do you think at this point in time? 384 00:19:31,359 --> 00:19:34,359 Speaker 2: Well, OPI has completely won me over. She's back in 385 00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:37,680 Speaker 2: my good graces. She's normal again. She's seen the light. 386 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:42,720 Speaker 2: I think that her she was angry, Ezra was lonely, 387 00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:45,720 Speaker 2: and they found each other. She's now acting like a mom. 388 00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:49,119 Speaker 2: She's seeing that this kid is like emotionally stunted. She 389 00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:52,199 Speaker 2: doesn't have you know, vengeance in her blood or like, 390 00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:54,840 Speaker 2: she doesn't have anger towards this girl. She actually has 391 00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:57,520 Speaker 2: empathy and feels sorry for her because she realizes she 392 00:19:57,520 --> 00:20:00,720 Speaker 2: has a lot of unhealed trauma. She's can a step away, 393 00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:02,119 Speaker 2: and I hope she's going to go hang out with 394 00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:06,080 Speaker 2: her daughter. It's gonna happen more. 395 00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:09,359 Speaker 1: Daughter time or date any of the you know, billions 396 00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:14,400 Speaker 1: of other potential partners that are the father of a 397 00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:19,320 Speaker 1: girl who broke her marriage. That could be cool too. Yes, Yes, 398 00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:23,280 Speaker 1: I'm also I'm also I'm I definitely think she's feeling 399 00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:27,240 Speaker 1: empathy for Opie's daughter, which is good and and big 400 00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:30,320 Speaker 1: of her, Like definitely high road energy going on. I'm 401 00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:34,160 Speaker 1: wondering if she has still one hundred percent let go 402 00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:37,560 Speaker 1: of all of that, you know, it seems like she's 403 00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:40,320 Speaker 1: letting go of of some of it, but I'm I'm 404 00:20:40,359 --> 00:20:42,679 Speaker 1: praying that she's kind of like letting it go, but 405 00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:46,440 Speaker 1: I'm like, cautiously, I'm cautiously optimistic for her because. 406 00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:49,080 Speaker 2: There's another update. There's another update, There's there's more juice. 407 00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:52,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, there's more tea to be spilt. Okay, more tea 408 00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:56,680 Speaker 1: to be spilt. So her own mother had bipolar disorder 409 00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:59,600 Speaker 1: and substance abuse problems when she was ten and left 410 00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:02,000 Speaker 1: the home. Okay, so that is a lot more context 411 00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:05,400 Speaker 1: into the situation. Yeah, after three years, when she came back, 412 00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:08,399 Speaker 1: things were a bit stable. Then she cheated again and 413 00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:11,000 Speaker 1: left when her daughter was eighteen. I know eighteen is 414 00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:14,119 Speaker 1: an adult, but she still was very little when her 415 00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:17,040 Speaker 1: mom left the first time. She never had that stable 416 00:21:17,119 --> 00:21:20,359 Speaker 1: home and guidance. She is confused right now. She needs 417 00:21:20,359 --> 00:21:23,240 Speaker 1: her dad right now more than ever. Absolutely, he needs 418 00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:26,480 Speaker 1: to focus on his relationship with his daughter first. It 419 00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:28,920 Speaker 1: took a while, but he agreed to at least give 420 00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:31,120 Speaker 1: it a try. And yeah, I did get a really 421 00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:34,520 Speaker 1: colorful message from my ex after his affair partner left 422 00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:37,760 Speaker 1: the house. He said it was inappropriate. I pointed out 423 00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:41,040 Speaker 1: his hypocrisy that he didn't think it was inappropriate to 424 00:21:41,119 --> 00:21:45,119 Speaker 1: hook up with his daughter's friend or ask for my permission. Correct. Absolutely, 425 00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:48,400 Speaker 1: Why does he think he has to say in my relationship. 426 00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:51,600 Speaker 1: Now that's about it. I'm really hurt. I do miss him, 427 00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:54,600 Speaker 1: but we are both adults with kids. We cannot act 428 00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:56,879 Speaker 1: like children. If something happens, I will let you know. 429 00:21:57,119 --> 00:21:59,679 Speaker 1: I don't know if Freddit will remove my post or not. 430 00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:03,399 Speaker 1: We have more Edison updates, but I feel like OPI 431 00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:07,159 Speaker 1: is way more leaning towards the direction you were talking about, 432 00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:09,440 Speaker 1: which is like, let me let go of this vengeance. 433 00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:11,879 Speaker 1: And just like I have a daughter, you know, like 434 00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:14,560 Speaker 1: she is clearly going through something she needs her father, 435 00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:18,160 Speaker 1: and I didn't fully understand this first. I didn't fully 436 00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:20,040 Speaker 1: understand this at first, but now I'm kind of saying 437 00:22:20,080 --> 00:22:22,600 Speaker 1: she's like, oh, it's not just for us in our relationship, 438 00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:25,159 Speaker 1: but it's so you can be with your daughter and 439 00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:28,040 Speaker 1: help her heal, which is big high road energy because 440 00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:30,240 Speaker 1: she was the one that started this whole mess in 441 00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:30,879 Speaker 1: the first place. 442 00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:34,919 Speaker 2: Yes, but she's twenty four years old. The worst person 443 00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:38,119 Speaker 2: in this whole story is the original husband or whatever, 444 00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:44,119 Speaker 2: the boss. He sucks. His hypocrisy sucks like the worst. 445 00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:46,399 Speaker 2: He also like finds like a twenty five four year 446 00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:49,199 Speaker 2: old woman who has lots of trauma and is like codependent, 447 00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:52,680 Speaker 2: and he's like, you're perfect for me, literally, so he 448 00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:57,320 Speaker 2: absolutely sucks everyone else in this scenario wins big w's 449 00:22:57,359 --> 00:22:58,080 Speaker 2: for everyone else. 450 00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:05,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I'm very hopeful that the daughter can kind 451 00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:08,720 Speaker 1: of come back around, like like Op has has kind 452 00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:10,280 Speaker 1: of come around a lot. Yeah. 453 00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:12,439 Speaker 2: Yeah, she's twenty four, so she's got a lot of 454 00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:13,760 Speaker 2: life to live and got a lot a lot of 455 00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:14,560 Speaker 2: things to learn one. 456 00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:18,760 Speaker 1: Hundred percentred percent time and hopefully, but what if what 457 00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:20,960 Speaker 1: if her and op develop a friendship out of this? 458 00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:23,919 Speaker 1: That would that would be insane. But we've seen it happen. 459 00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:26,680 Speaker 1: We have seen it happen on the show, Mike. We've 460 00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:30,720 Speaker 1: read like how many stories Riley, twelve hundred, twelve hundred stories, 461 00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:33,119 Speaker 1: so we've we've kind of seen it all at this point. 462 00:23:33,119 --> 00:23:36,639 Speaker 1: But we'll see what happens in this story. Edit. I 463 00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:38,399 Speaker 1: think I need to make it clear I am not 464 00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:41,240 Speaker 1: officially breaking up with Ezra. We are taking a pause 465 00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:43,800 Speaker 1: or a break from our relationship. I talked to him today. 466 00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:46,000 Speaker 1: He said he will try for a few weeks and 467 00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:49,239 Speaker 1: if nothing changes, he will go no contact regardless of 468 00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:52,240 Speaker 1: where our relationship goes, because he cannot have a toxic 469 00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:54,639 Speaker 1: man involved in his family anymore. That is why I 470 00:23:54,680 --> 00:23:57,000 Speaker 1: wanted to take a break so that he can focus 471 00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:59,679 Speaker 1: on his daughter now and try one last time to 472 00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:02,480 Speaker 1: talk some sense into her, which we think is Opie 473 00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:06,080 Speaker 1: saying that Ezra will go no contact and kind of 474 00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:08,679 Speaker 1: like break off the relationship because it's too complicated for 475 00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:11,919 Speaker 1: him at this point to have any sort of connection 476 00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:14,159 Speaker 1: or interaction with Opie's X. 477 00:24:14,760 --> 00:24:16,919 Speaker 2: Yeah. I think what's happening to OPI is like the 478 00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:20,480 Speaker 2: classic case of I got divorced, then I got into 479 00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:23,000 Speaker 2: a relationship, fair or whatever. I broke up with my husband, 480 00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:25,239 Speaker 2: I got into a relationship very soon after, and then 481 00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:28,439 Speaker 2: I didn't feel what was the feeling of being alone 482 00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:31,240 Speaker 2: for the first time. And now she's like wait, wait, no, no, no, 483 00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:33,879 Speaker 2: let's still try, but she's got to break from all 484 00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:36,680 Speaker 2: of this. This is not this is all toxic for her. 485 00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:39,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think, like you said, like being able 486 00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:42,400 Speaker 1: to spend some time with herself, because I don't think 487 00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:45,919 Speaker 1: Riley do. I don't even know. Excuse me if we 488 00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:48,439 Speaker 1: know how long their relationship was, but they had a 489 00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:52,080 Speaker 1: twenty four year old daughter, so I mean they've at 490 00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:56,280 Speaker 1: least had some form of a relationship for twenty four years, 491 00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:59,640 Speaker 1: So I think it's very smart move to, like, all right, 492 00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:04,240 Speaker 1: step back, spend some time with yourself, date yourself first, 493 00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:07,640 Speaker 1: and then kind of go back into the dating worlds 494 00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:11,239 Speaker 1: because yeah, that's at least twenty four years being out 495 00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:12,080 Speaker 1: of relationship. 496 00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:15,080 Speaker 2: So shameless plug. But I have a great podcast for 497 00:25:15,119 --> 00:25:16,959 Speaker 2: her to listen to if she needs to figure out 498 00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:17,840 Speaker 2: how to date herself. 499 00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:23,480 Speaker 1: That is correct, big plug there. All right, let's dive 500 00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:26,160 Speaker 1: back into it. We have a big update. Things are 501 00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:28,920 Speaker 1: normal now. Ezra and I are back to normal. Okay, 502 00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:31,680 Speaker 1: it's been two weeks since, so does that mean they're 503 00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:32,280 Speaker 1: back together? 504 00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:33,119 Speaker 3: Yeah? 505 00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:34,439 Speaker 2: I'm so sad to hear that. 506 00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:38,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know in details what happened. I'm just 507 00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:41,440 Speaker 1: sharing what Ezra shared with me. He and his daughter 508 00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:45,000 Speaker 1: had talks and fights about this whole situation. His daughter's 509 00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:47,960 Speaker 1: defense is that I am a selfish woman. Oh man, 510 00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:52,280 Speaker 1: hold on, now. 511 00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:53,960 Speaker 2: That's where I was at. 512 00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:56,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess. I guess that's where we're getting our 513 00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:59,080 Speaker 1: tea from. Is that kettle right there? But my goodness, gracious, 514 00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:03,560 Speaker 1: oh my god, my ex was unhappy in his marriage. 515 00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:05,960 Speaker 1: I am only dating her dad to get revenge on 516 00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:09,240 Speaker 1: her as are retaliated, and said, if she has any 517 00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:12,600 Speaker 1: other proof of me mistreating my ex husband other than 518 00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:15,800 Speaker 1: his words, how does she know he is not lying 519 00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:18,040 Speaker 1: to get into her pants. That's a good question. 520 00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:20,640 Speaker 2: She does not know, She does not. 521 00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:24,399 Speaker 1: How does she know if he was the one who 522 00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:26,920 Speaker 1: mistreated me in the marriage. She made a lot of 523 00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:30,200 Speaker 1: assumptions about me without even knowing me. She doesn't understand 524 00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:33,080 Speaker 1: the lies and manipulation he told her just to get 525 00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:35,280 Speaker 1: with her. That a man telling you he is going 526 00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:38,040 Speaker 1: to leave his family of thirty years. Okay, so thirty 527 00:26:38,119 --> 00:26:40,280 Speaker 1: years I think is the number for you is not 528 00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:42,679 Speaker 1: something to be proud of. If a man can betray 529 00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:46,160 Speaker 1: his family so easily for younger woman, he can betray anyone, 530 00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:49,040 Speaker 1: even her. Also, lastly, he said that she has no 531 00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:52,200 Speaker 1: right to say anything against his relationships. When she didn't 532 00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:55,360 Speaker 1: even listen to any of the word and advices he 533 00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:58,840 Speaker 1: had against dating my ex husband, she lost her right 534 00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:01,439 Speaker 1: to judge him the moment she became a home wrecker, 535 00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:03,840 Speaker 1: he says. She said that she is an adult and 536 00:27:03,880 --> 00:27:06,760 Speaker 1: she can do whatever she wants, but she is a 537 00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:10,439 Speaker 1: hypocrite if she objects her father's relationship. Okay, so I 538 00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:14,240 Speaker 1: think she's at least coming around to that piece of it. 539 00:27:15,119 --> 00:27:18,120 Speaker 1: If she is uncomfortable with me around, then she would 540 00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:20,480 Speaker 1: suck it up, just like he is uncomfortable with her 541 00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:23,160 Speaker 1: dating a fifty year old man whose daughter is almost 542 00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:24,760 Speaker 1: the same age as she is. 543 00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:28,000 Speaker 2: Okay, good, full circle. I got the ages, like, yeah, 544 00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:30,000 Speaker 2: there it is twice her age. 545 00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:32,960 Speaker 1: As for my ex husband, he hasn't stopped commenting on 546 00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:35,399 Speaker 1: how weird this is. I shut him down by saying 547 00:27:35,520 --> 00:27:37,919 Speaker 1: him dating a girl the same age as my daughter 548 00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:40,800 Speaker 1: is weirder. At least I am dating someone closer to 549 00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:43,200 Speaker 1: my age. Did he really care about how his daughter 550 00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:45,600 Speaker 1: is feeling when he's out here hooking up with her 551 00:27:45,680 --> 00:27:49,359 Speaker 1: former friend, then he has no right to call this weird. 552 00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:52,119 Speaker 2: Yeah, the age thing isn't the weird part. It's that 553 00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:54,920 Speaker 2: it's your daughter's friend and your direct report exactly. 554 00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:58,639 Speaker 1: There's just so like he has so many layers, like 555 00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:02,280 Speaker 1: his stack of of weirdness, if that's what he wants 556 00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:05,160 Speaker 1: to call it is so huge. How can you even 557 00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:09,240 Speaker 1: begin to try to come at anyone else in this 558 00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:10,639 Speaker 1: whole situation? 559 00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:13,760 Speaker 2: Him like coming out, I'm like, just you stay back, 560 00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:15,880 Speaker 2: like you know what he needs you right now you're 561 00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:17,479 Speaker 2: the last person who gets to speak. 562 00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:22,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's right. The talking stick is not for you today, sir. Literally, 563 00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:26,720 Speaker 3: never stay sad. I don't know if my ex and 564 00:28:26,760 --> 00:28:29,480 Speaker 3: a fair partner will stay together or not. I think 565 00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:32,040 Speaker 3: she will make it work somehow, just to try to 566 00:28:32,080 --> 00:28:33,119 Speaker 3: spite her own father. 567 00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:38,000 Speaker 1: The healthiest foundation for any relationship home on y'all. 568 00:28:38,680 --> 00:28:41,400 Speaker 2: I have an episode on that we talked about how 569 00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:42,760 Speaker 2: to spiite. No, I'm just kidding. 570 00:28:43,600 --> 00:28:45,520 Speaker 1: I was like, Julia, what kind of podcast that we're 571 00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:46,520 Speaker 1: telling every able to go to? 572 00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:47,640 Speaker 2: Just kidding? 573 00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:49,880 Speaker 1: Pretty much done podcast? Everyone check that out right now. 574 00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:54,240 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. But from what I have seen, she 575 00:28:54,560 --> 00:28:58,040 Speaker 1: has been doubting her relationship with my ex. Ezra got 576 00:28:58,120 --> 00:29:02,880 Speaker 1: her into therapy. Yes, thank you everyone in this story, 577 00:29:02,920 --> 00:29:09,520 Speaker 1: please please see a therapist for God's sake. Jo Yeah, oh, 578 00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:12,720 Speaker 1: he is also attending along with her, and we got 579 00:29:12,760 --> 00:29:16,240 Speaker 1: back together because we both realized we have strong feelings 580 00:29:16,240 --> 00:29:18,120 Speaker 1: for each other. Okay, I have a lot to ask 581 00:29:18,160 --> 00:29:21,960 Speaker 1: you about on this, Julia. We are already very old. 582 00:29:22,160 --> 00:29:24,600 Speaker 1: We have come a long way in life, our children 583 00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:27,640 Speaker 1: are grown, we have achieved all the milestones, and now 584 00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:30,760 Speaker 1: we just want to relax and have fun bonus, I 585 00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:34,080 Speaker 1: don't have to have pregnancy scares because I can tell 586 00:29:34,080 --> 00:29:35,640 Speaker 1: that I'm already going through menopause. 587 00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:41,680 Speaker 2: Woo, it's center in to early menopause for real. Oh 588 00:29:41,760 --> 00:29:43,160 Speaker 2: my god, ordeal. 589 00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:46,960 Speaker 1: She just her uterus just accelerated into hyperdrive with the 590 00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:52,360 Speaker 1: stress of this whole situation. My goodness. Well that's it. 591 00:29:52,560 --> 00:29:58,000 Speaker 1: I may update again if something big happens. Okay, Julia, 592 00:29:58,040 --> 00:29:59,960 Speaker 1: we made it to the end of our first story. Congratu. 593 00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:03,640 Speaker 1: Thank you for making it this far on the journey 594 00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:04,000 Speaker 1: with us. 595 00:30:04,640 --> 00:30:07,160 Speaker 2: Thank you. That was quite a journey. 596 00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:11,200 Speaker 1: So many questions to be asked here for for you 597 00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:16,000 Speaker 1: and everyone watching, was Opie the ahole? Originally? I think 598 00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:18,240 Speaker 1: everyone is kind of the a hole at one point 599 00:30:18,600 --> 00:30:21,960 Speaker 1: or another in this story. But my big question for 600 00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:25,800 Speaker 1: you and for everyone watching is uh, I liked what 601 00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:28,040 Speaker 1: you were saying earlier about like op like taking a 602 00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:32,000 Speaker 1: break and like dating herself and and all this. It 603 00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:38,280 Speaker 1: does seem the situation has reached a calm, er kind 604 00:30:38,280 --> 00:30:40,920 Speaker 1: of like point where it's like, okay, it seems like 605 00:30:41,560 --> 00:30:45,200 Speaker 1: the affair partner. I don't think we ever got her name, 606 00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:50,680 Speaker 1: did we, Riley the Yeah, yeah, so Ezra's daughter she's 607 00:30:50,720 --> 00:30:55,400 Speaker 1: going to therapy with Ezra. That's fantastic. Op is in therapy. 608 00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:58,680 Speaker 1: Do we think at this point, given what op is saying, 609 00:30:58,680 --> 00:31:00,440 Speaker 1: it's later in life, she just kind of wants to 610 00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:03,280 Speaker 1: relax and is kind of seeming like found a partner 611 00:31:03,440 --> 00:31:06,080 Speaker 1: that could be great. Do we go forward? Do we not? 612 00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:07,600 Speaker 1: What do you think of Julia? 613 00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:11,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm happy for her. I would just recommend another 614 00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:15,480 Speaker 2: couple's therapy avenue for the two of them, Yes, because 615 00:31:15,480 --> 00:31:18,320 Speaker 2: there's a lot to navigate here, and there's that, you know, 616 00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:22,840 Speaker 2: navigating having a step daughter who hates you potentially, So 617 00:31:23,120 --> 00:31:26,200 Speaker 2: I think that Listen, I'm happy, no judgment for how 618 00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:29,520 Speaker 2: it like happened whatever, if it's working for them. I 619 00:31:29,600 --> 00:31:32,000 Speaker 2: do think that I'm not a believer in like just 620 00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:35,760 Speaker 2: right after a big, huge breakup, like getting straight into 621 00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:38,280 Speaker 2: a relationship. I think that there's like unhealed trauma. But 622 00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:40,680 Speaker 2: if she's like this is a good stepping stone for her, 623 00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:43,520 Speaker 2: This is a good stepping stone. And like she said, 624 00:31:44,240 --> 00:31:47,360 Speaker 2: early menopause, like did you go off? 625 00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:50,120 Speaker 1: You go girl? You live that life? 626 00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:51,200 Speaker 2: Yeah? 627 00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:53,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I think. I think, I agree, I think, 628 00:31:53,880 --> 00:31:56,640 Speaker 1: and and you know what, gosh darn it has Opie 629 00:31:56,680 --> 00:32:01,200 Speaker 1: deserved a little fun in her life. Goodness, Yeah, through 630 00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:06,320 Speaker 1: the freaking ringer. Oh yeah. So hopefully, hopefully op has 631 00:32:06,360 --> 00:32:08,800 Speaker 1: a happily ever after with Ezra, or at least just 632 00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:13,320 Speaker 1: gets to enjoy some of our life in this new 633 00:32:13,400 --> 00:32:14,960 Speaker 1: stage new stage. 634 00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:17,320 Speaker 2: In chapter do you ever read these stories and just 635 00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:19,960 Speaker 2: want to instagram stock all of these people? I want 636 00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:22,719 Speaker 2: to know what, like what's up with the daughter? Like 637 00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:23,640 Speaker 2: I need to like. 638 00:32:23,680 --> 00:32:26,640 Speaker 1: Know all of it. Sam is notorious for like just 639 00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:29,520 Speaker 1: like dying to know this this information. I think I 640 00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:33,280 Speaker 1: kind of like I grew up like fostering dogs, and 641 00:32:33,320 --> 00:32:35,720 Speaker 1: you kind of gotta get used to like, all right, 642 00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:39,240 Speaker 1: it's it's it's relinquished, like I the you know, it's 643 00:32:39,280 --> 00:32:42,080 Speaker 1: it's not mine anymore. It's it's it's done, it's over, 644 00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:45,200 Speaker 1: and what will happen will happen. The crazy thing, though, 645 00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:47,560 Speaker 1: is now we have a lot of people, a ton 646 00:32:47,640 --> 00:32:50,560 Speaker 1: of people submitting their own stories or like seeing their 647 00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:53,240 Speaker 1: own story on the show and wanting to like share 648 00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:56,680 Speaker 1: any updates or like or been kind of insane. 649 00:32:57,160 --> 00:32:59,760 Speaker 2: So funny, Oh my god, I would love that. That's 650 00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:00,360 Speaker 2: so funny. 651 00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:02,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe maybe we'll have you back in for a call. 652 00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:03,520 Speaker 1: In episode. 653 00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:06,000 Speaker 2: Those are Oh yeah, I would love that. 654 00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:09,240 Speaker 1: Those are the most fun. But speaking of you being 655 00:33:09,280 --> 00:33:12,040 Speaker 1: on the show, Julia, I think we have a story 656 00:33:12,320 --> 00:33:13,320 Speaker 1: for you to share with us. 657 00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:15,560 Speaker 2: I do, yeah, I don't know if I can do 658 00:33:15,600 --> 00:33:17,400 Speaker 2: it as good of a job as you, John, I 659 00:33:17,400 --> 00:33:17,720 Speaker 2: don't know. 660 00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:20,480 Speaker 1: Now I'm scared you've brought in all of the commentary. 661 00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:23,120 Speaker 1: We needed to get back back to planet Earth from 662 00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:26,320 Speaker 1: like planet crazy Town. You gotta take us there, Julia. 663 00:33:26,440 --> 00:33:27,760 Speaker 2: Okay, I'm gonna take us there. 664 00:33:27,880 --> 00:33:28,400 Speaker 1: Let's do it.