Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rap An iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2: Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in scrub.
Speaker 3: Dub Dum.
Speaker 4: And we have a Dear Bonya episode.
Speaker 5: Yes we do.
Speaker 4: Wait before we.
Speaker 2: Get into that. The people were asking the food that
Speaker 2: you had in Chicago. Oh wow, if there were any standouts?
Speaker 4: And I like a Chicago dog off the street.
Speaker 6: Yeah. Yes, I tried to eat as much Chicago food
Speaker 6: as I could when we were there in the Serning
Speaker 6: Metropolitan Areas had I had a Chicago dog from Devil
Speaker 6: Dogs that I did not like. I did not like it.
Speaker 3: Why too much junk on it?
Speaker 6: Too much junk and whatever. There was some kind of
Speaker 6: seasoning or relish. It tasted like minnestrone soup.
Speaker 3: Nothing like that.
Speaker 4: Was it recommended to you that it was?
Speaker 6: That came. I asked scrubbers for advice, and Devil Dogs
Speaker 6: came up a lot and they led me astray.
Speaker 3: I think it a celery salt. They put on a
Speaker 3: Chicago dog.
Speaker 6: That would do it.
Speaker 3: That's it.
Speaker 6: I was not happy with that Chicago dog. I had
Speaker 6: two pizzas. I went to Luma Hotti's and I went
Speaker 6: to Pea Quads.
Speaker 3: Man, I love Chicago pizza.
Speaker 6: Oh my god, I loved it. I had pea quads.
Speaker 6: That's the one they went to in the Bear. Sam
Speaker 6: and I went to the same location they went to
Speaker 6: in the Bear.
Speaker 3: In the bedroom where they went and got it for
Speaker 3: the celebrating anniversary or something.
Speaker 6: Yeah, that was good salmon. I went and got in
Speaker 6: order to go, and then we satted a close down
Speaker 6: cafe outdoor seating and had some pizza. It was delicious.
Speaker 5: You love pizza.
Speaker 1: Let me tell you, I'm gonna have something this weekend
Speaker 1: for it.
Speaker 6: Popcorn I did. I did have Garrets popcorn I got
Speaker 6: at the airport and it was delicious. I was eating
Speaker 6: it yesterday to get the Chicago style I did. I
Speaker 6: got Garrett's mix. It's half caramel corn, half cheddar cheese, which.
Speaker 3: You wouldn't think would go together, but man, oh man.
Speaker 4: Does something about that makes sense.
Speaker 6: Works it rules. I bought it from the airport and
Speaker 6: the total price came out to six dollars and sixty
Speaker 6: six cents, and I got superstitious about that, so I
Speaker 6: did not open it on the plane. Wow, I thought
Speaker 6: that would be summoning the devil to our flight. So
Speaker 6: I wait until I got home.
Speaker 5: I'm gonna say I respect that.
Speaker 6: Yeah, but it was delicious. I think if you're going
Speaker 6: to Chicago, you gotta go to Peaquad's. That's that was
Speaker 6: the standout by far of all those places that I went.
Speaker 4: I am so impressed with Easton's.
Speaker 2: Like, I know, I talk about this all this time
Speaker 2: all the time, but his lack of sleep slash stamina
Speaker 2: to go see and experience things while.
Speaker 4: On those short trips.
Speaker 2: It's like, I admire it so much because I will
Speaker 2: never be that person.
Speaker 5: But I'm like, barely what because we drink?
Speaker 4: I don't drink that much? Oh really Yeah, no, I
Speaker 4: think I'm just lazy.
Speaker 1: I'm like, god, this is sureka moment, I'm like, it's
Speaker 1: because he doesn't drink, so he's never hung over.
Speaker 6: This one was rough because I stayed out really late
Speaker 6: and then I got up early and I did not
Speaker 6: eat like the pickle on my Chicago dog I think
Speaker 6: was the only vegetab like the whole time I was there,
Speaker 6: So that was I was pushing it. But uh, but
Speaker 6: I had a lot of fun and uh and I
Speaker 6: did my work. I did a great job of my
Speaker 6: work and uh, and I got to see a bunch
Speaker 6: of coolteff and hung out with a good friend of mine.
Speaker 6: I went to some tiki bars while I was there too.
Speaker 6: That was a lot of fun. Yeah, yeah, I made
Speaker 6: a good time.
Speaker 4: You saw that. You saw the sites.
Speaker 6: I saw all the sites. I saw the bridge where
Speaker 6: the Dave Matthews band had the incident. If you don't
Speaker 6: know what I'm talking about, I'm not gonna say it
Speaker 6: on the look it up. They had an issue with
Speaker 6: the the septic tank on their tour bus. Oh not
Speaker 6: familiar with that, Well, look at Dave Matthews band the incident.
Speaker 6: I saw the site of that happening. I went to
Speaker 6: the rock and roll McDonald's. I saw all the sites
Speaker 6: Chicago had to offer.
Speaker 4: It's like he was there longer than we were, but
Speaker 4: he wasn't you know.
Speaker 7: Yeah that the bus had to empty that thing and
Speaker 7: they added it in the wrong place and there was
Speaker 7: a sight seeing bod underneath where they have did.
Speaker 4: It, and people got then, oh my god, I bridge.
Speaker 3: There are plenty of lawsuits involved.
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, yeah it was it was a tour bus
Speaker 6: driver that made the mistake.
Speaker 4: I have like chills.
Speaker 2: We were getting on our flight back from uh Chicago,
Speaker 2: and Tanya opted out of getting snacks because she was anticipating,
Speaker 2: you know, having something on the plane. And so I
Speaker 2: had all my snacks, guardettos, nerd clusters, cheese and cracker,
Speaker 2: little tarcutery situation.
Speaker 4: Snack pack.
Speaker 5: Creases, peanut butter cups, cookie dough bites.
Speaker 4: Yeah, cookie dough bites. I just had a collection.
Speaker 2: You know, guess who had her paws and everything the
Speaker 2: whole flight home.
Speaker 1: In my defense, I got really nauseous when I got
Speaker 1: on the flight for some reason, Like I was feeling
Speaker 1: really nauseous, so I was like, I really do need
Speaker 1: one of those crackers.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So I was giving her crackers and cheese, trying
Speaker 2: to settle her stomach, and then she just kept going.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I didn't need to go for the nerds clusters,
Speaker 1: but I but I did.
Speaker 5: I did go for the nerds clusters.
Speaker 4: That was fun.
Speaker 1: Though.
Speaker 2: I enjoy when you eat my like I enjoy when
Speaker 2: you eat the food with me, because I love that
Speaker 2: you enjoy it, even though you try to pretend that
Speaker 2: you don't.
Speaker 4: It's so satisfied.
Speaker 5: Kale chip, Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: But you sure finished the bag. When I was going
Speaker 2: to try and throw them away, I was like are
Speaker 2: you done? And you're like, are there more in there?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: A nerds clustered let me tell you, but let me
Speaker 1: I forgot to mention the other day because I was
Speaker 1: in my bubble about Chris Martin.
Speaker 5: I am so obsessed with Chris Martin. It does not.
Speaker 1: Every experience have had with that man has been life altering.
Speaker 4: Tell me about it.
Speaker 1: He's so kind, he looks you in the eye, he
Speaker 1: remembers your name. He's so humble, he has no ego.
Speaker 1: And I saw him at the festival. I didn't like
Speaker 1: to see him in person. I saw him perform, but
Speaker 1: like it was so otherworldly, Like he makes you feel
Speaker 1: like you're the only person in the audience. And he's
Speaker 1: so calm and cool and collected, and I just love
Speaker 1: him like I love him.
Speaker 2: It's like, oh, my bucket, let's just see a cold
Speaker 2: Play concert.
Speaker 4: I've never been.
Speaker 2: I saw them perform at the halftime in the super
Speaker 2: Bowl when and went with Amy.
Speaker 8: Okay, oh my gosh, I'll never Okay, Like a cold
Speaker 8: Play concert is a different It is like singing sky
Speaker 8: full of Stars with like all.
Speaker 5: Yeah, but yeah, let's want to come to New York
Speaker 5: this weekend. I think he's going to be a global citizen.
Speaker 2: I'm okay, thank you, Okay, we do have Dear Bonya.
Speaker 2: So I think they're all they're not all anonymous today.
Speaker 3: No they're not. But here's the thing, and this is,
Speaker 3: by the way, if you are a more praise for
Speaker 3: our producer, Sam, if you're a young aspiring podcast producer
Speaker 3: out there, write this down. So last time we did
Speaker 3: Dear Bonia, we're trying to figure out which ones to do,
Speaker 3: you know, we're looking ahead. Look, that's interesting. That's the thing.
Speaker 3: We're like, Oh, which one do you want to they're
Speaker 3: all anonymous? Do you want to the one this anonymous?
Speaker 3: You wanted the other one? The anonymous? On page six, Sam,
Speaker 3: without being asked, thanks to herself. Oh, they're having trouble
Speaker 3: describing which ones they're talking about. I'm going to give
Speaker 3: each one a title, and now they'll be able to
Speaker 3: refer to them. And specifically, let's give it up for Sam.
Speaker 3: Who did you ask her to do that? She said
Speaker 3: that on her own. She saw a need and she
Speaker 3: filled it. Yeah, that's what a good producer does.
Speaker 5: Yeah, honestly, thank you guys, love you.
Speaker 3: Ah. You want to start with the one title new
Speaker 3: husband's life.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it feels like a new book.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I married my husband in April after three years
Speaker 3: of dating, and everything seemed to be going well. Recently,
Speaker 3: I found out that a friend of ours, who I
Speaker 3: thought didn't like me, has a history with my husband.
Speaker 3: My husband confessed that, yes, he and the friend they
Speaker 3: hooked up a few months before we met, and he
Speaker 3: told our friends not to tell me about it. I
Speaker 3: feel betrayed because he let me be belittled and withheld
Speaker 3: this information despite our openness about past flings. This is
Speaker 3: the second time he's hitting something from his past with
Speaker 3: another girl, and I'm struggling with how to trust him
Speaker 3: now as a twenty six year old newly what I
Speaker 3: feel hurt, confused, and unsure about what to do next.
Speaker 4: Here's the thing. I don't like.
Speaker 2: Something like this not being shared or disclosed up front,
Speaker 2: and I understand that if he's immature and doesn't have
Speaker 2: the emotional maturity to come forth about that, then he's thinking,
Speaker 2: I'm going to this doesn't matter to me because it's
Speaker 2: in the past, and I don't think it's a big deal,
Speaker 2: so I don't want to tell her. I think he
Speaker 2: just thinks that I don't want her to get so
Speaker 2: angry at me that.
Speaker 4: It causes a huge fight.
Speaker 2: But what he's done is now he's betrayed your trust,
Speaker 2: and it does feel it is going to turn into
Speaker 2: a big fight because he omitted the truth out of
Speaker 2: potentially trying to save himself from having to get into
Speaker 2: an argument with you about it.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be honest, None of this bothers me, aside
Speaker 1: from the fact that he told his friends not to
Speaker 1: tell you about it. That to me is the problem.
Speaker 1: The fact that he's hooked up with people before he
Speaker 1: met you, Like, to me, it's.
Speaker 5: Like, don't like I don't want someone they both know.
Speaker 1: Right, But like, I'm just like, that's in his past
Speaker 1: is before he met you. Don't go in the past.
Speaker 1: You're his present and his future. It's like, what's in
Speaker 1: the past is in the past. But what I don't
Speaker 1: like is that he intentionally told his friends not to
Speaker 1: tell you about it, which to me means he's hiding it,
Speaker 1: which I don't like.
Speaker 2: Right, And I think that's just I think it's just
Speaker 2: emotional immaturity of being like, I'm scared. I don't want
Speaker 2: to own up to it. I told him I don't
Speaker 2: want to it to turn into something. And so now
Speaker 2: he's coming across as untrustful and omitting the truth.
Speaker 1: Well, I think you can communicate that and say, look,
Speaker 1: I know you did nothing wrong. There's nothing wrong with
Speaker 1: you hooking up with Sarah. But what really bothers me
Speaker 1: is that you were telling people not to tell me,
Speaker 1: and it's just making me question. I don't like that,
Speaker 1: and so that's the feeling that's coming up for me.
Speaker 5: And leave it at that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and he wouldn't want you don't don't about this.
Speaker 3: You know that is a weird thing. But Becca's exactly right.
Speaker 3: Guys are dumb. You can add this to the many
Speaker 3: many questions we've answered on the show that I answer
Speaker 3: with guys are dumb. Guy, he's just trying to avoid conflict.
Speaker 3: And I've been this guy before and stupid. But he'll
Speaker 3: figure it out. Don't worry about it, No nothing, don't
Speaker 3: worry about it. Don't feel like your marriage is in trouble.
Speaker 3: You guys can get through this. You're gonna be honest
Speaker 3: with him. He's going to figure out that this was
Speaker 3: not worth it. He made a mistake here, and you're
Speaker 3: going to get through this together. And he will mature.
Speaker 3: If you're twenty seven, I'm going to guess he's similar.
Speaker 3: I maintain guy who do not grow up until they
Speaker 3: are at least thirty three, so it's gonna be okay.
Speaker 3: But yes, he just wanted to avoid conflict because that's
Speaker 3: a huge goal for guys. We want quiet, we want
Speaker 3: no conflict, and that's all he was trying to do.
Speaker 3: Did he handle it, well, no, but he'll figure that out.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you live and you learn.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: It's also like him needing to trust you that you
Speaker 2: can handle that information. Yeah, Like it's like proving to
Speaker 2: each other that you can trust each other and get
Speaker 2: through things. If he had just it's like he didn't
Speaker 2: trust that she could handle the fact that he dated
Speaker 2: someone that they both.
Speaker 5: Know, right, Like maybe your reaction would be like yeah,
Speaker 5: because it blowed.
Speaker 2: So there's been things where like Haley was like, oh,
Speaker 2: I didn't think it was important. I didn't want you
Speaker 2: to get upset, and I'm like, well, I feel more
Speaker 2: upset because you didn't tell me. But she was like,
Speaker 2: I didn't trust that you would be able to hand
Speaker 2: handle it. So that that's a little something we've worked
Speaker 2: on in therapy.
Speaker 4: So can we take a break next, Yeah, let's take
Speaker 4: a break.
Speaker 3: Did you catch that.
Speaker 4: From losing to us?
Speaker 2: All right?
Speaker 1: It takes you like multiple days to recoup? Clearly, no,
Speaker 1: Like this is like scientific.
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, my body biological.
Speaker 3: It's the deficit you're running correct.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, you're gonna be asleep. I have a good
Speaker 2: feeling about like eight eight pm tonight.
Speaker 5: It's gonna be decadent.
Speaker 4: All right.
Speaker 2: We have an email from Cassidy and the title is
Speaker 2: newly Single.
Speaker 3: I started listening to scrubbing in after the second People's
Speaker 3: choice whin that's funny, she shared about the first one.
Speaker 3: She's like, I don't know, yeah, that she was in
Speaker 3: and I've never looked back. I absolutely love all four
Speaker 3: of you, and I personally identifires more of a mark.
Speaker 3: Oh well, thank you very much, thank you for keeping
Speaker 3: me company while I get ready. I'm newly single, twenty
Speaker 3: seven year old female after a ten year relationship and
Speaker 3: a one and a half year relationship that I thought
Speaker 3: was it. I am ready to be on the dating
Speaker 3: scene and have been on two so far. I just
Speaker 3: downloaded Hinge and have no idea what the expectations are.
Speaker 3: I get mixed reviews about whether people truly use it
Speaker 3: to go on dates and find people. Also, safety feels
Speaker 3: like a big concern meeting in public. Being sure, I
Speaker 3: get friends my location, but at what point is it
Speaker 3: expected that we're going to end up watching a movie
Speaker 3: at someone's place? Looking for dating tips here. I've got
Speaker 3: the similar mindset as Tanya. This is a numbers game,
Speaker 3: and I love getting to know people, But what are
Speaker 3: the expectations out there? Help? Tanya? You met your fiance
Speaker 3: on Hinge?
Speaker 6: I did, so what do you.
Speaker 3: Have to say to young?
Speaker 4: But I didn't.
Speaker 1: I never felt any sort of expectation to go back
Speaker 1: to someone's house early on, Like I never even if
Speaker 1: it was maybe expected or but like I never felt
Speaker 1: I never took on that expectation because I just did
Speaker 1: it when I was comfortable. So I want to say
Speaker 1: for the first uh with Robbie, it was different because
Speaker 1: I felt very like my vagina told me early on,
Speaker 1: like something's different here. But I don't think like we
Speaker 1: went to We didn't. He didn't come over until like
Speaker 1: maybe the third or fourth date. So I feel like
Speaker 1: if it's a first or second date, I feel like
Speaker 1: there's zero expectation there to go back to someone's house.
Speaker 2: No, Yeah, I mean no, I think that's just the
Speaker 2: comfort level that you have to feel with your intuition.
Speaker 4: Like I don't think there. I would probably.
Speaker 2: You know, if you're on a date, if you're feeling
Speaker 2: a little if that's something that makes you feel anxious,
Speaker 2: I would like really make sure you get to experience
Speaker 2: being out with them and seeing how they treat the waiters,
Speaker 2: like just paying attention to certain little details, you know,
Speaker 2: and make sure that if you have them back at
Speaker 2: your house, someone knows that someone's coming over, just like
Speaker 2: be cautious.
Speaker 1: That's the other thing too, because I feel like when
Speaker 1: you met Haley, like you you guys had mutual friends,
Speaker 1: so it's like you knew that she wasn't like a psycho,
Speaker 1: do you know what I mean? Right, when you meet
Speaker 1: someone on the dating app and you don't have mutual friends, like,
Speaker 1: that's the scary thing because it's.
Speaker 5: Like there's nobody to vouch for them.
Speaker 1: You have no idea, like you don't know, right, So
Speaker 1: that's where it's like, Yeah, tell your friends where you're going,
Speaker 1: tell them if they're coming over, Like I always put
Speaker 1: everybody on alert.
Speaker 2: And I do think if you're in a tell there's
Speaker 2: got to be someone that knows that person. Like, I
Speaker 2: just feel like if you're if you live in this
Speaker 2: same city as someone. I mean, obviously there's big cities,
Speaker 2: but even in.
Speaker 4: LA there's people who know each other.
Speaker 2: If you, you know, go on Facebook or Instagram and
Speaker 2: see who's fat, if there's any mutuals.
Speaker 1: Yeah, cast out of why men ask everybody that you
Speaker 1: know if they know this.
Speaker 2: Not everyone, but if you see, like, oh, someone that
Speaker 2: I feel comfortable asking information about follows this person, like
Speaker 2: what do they know about them? You know, that's always
Speaker 2: a good way. But also just trust your gut and
Speaker 2: I think that's valid. And I think you're very being
Speaker 2: very smart in how you're handling this because you're right,
Speaker 2: you don't know what people's intentions are. I think some
Speaker 2: people use the app for like hookups. I think some
Speaker 2: people use it to find their future partner. I think
Speaker 2: it just depends on you know who you connect with.
Speaker 1: I would share my location with everybody that would accept it,
Speaker 1: and tell everybody when you're going out on a date
Speaker 1: and where you're going personally.
Speaker 2: No, I think that's just being smart about it, like
Speaker 2: letting people know where you are and who you're with
Speaker 2: and if they come over to your house or you
Speaker 2: go to their house, send send them.
Speaker 1: So I'm not gonna go down this dark path. But
Speaker 1: I just heard a very scary story, so.
Speaker 5: I'll leave it there. Wow dexter vibes.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, well, I'm not helping Cassidy at all.
Speaker 5: No, That's what I'm saying. You had to be very
Speaker 5: the girl.
Speaker 1: The girl was fine because she had a gut feeling
Speaker 1: about this guy, so she made him sleep on the couch.
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, that's so scary.
Speaker 1: And he was banging on her door in the middle
Speaker 1: of the night, like saying something that was like loud,
Speaker 1: Can I sleep in your room?
Speaker 5: And she was like, no, she didn't. She didn't open it.
Speaker 5: She called the cops. The cops came and he had
Speaker 5: the history.
Speaker 4: Wow, ladies, please be careful there.
Speaker 5: Be careful and follow your gut and your intuition.
Speaker 3: Yeah, all right, Where were going next? Becca? What strikes
Speaker 3: your fancy?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 4: What strikes my fans?
Speaker 3: Yeah? We talked about the drinking one. Do you want to
Speaker 3: do that one?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Uh, I know, Anonymous, I know that you both enjoyed
Speaker 3: drinking every now and again. But I find myself struggling
Speaker 3: to drink and moderate. It seems that I either don't
Speaker 3: drink at all and I'm happy, or I get drunk.
Speaker 3: How do you learn to drink in moderation. I've graduated
Speaker 3: from college, but I think I'm still in the college mindset.
Speaker 3: Any advice is helpful.
Speaker 5: I could do some help myself. So I just really
Speaker 5: wanted advice from you.
Speaker 3: So you've been trying to drink less. Moderation is the
Speaker 3: not less often, but less each time and less often.
Speaker 5: Okay, yeah, just moderation in general.
Speaker 3: And you're struggling with that struggle because once you have one,
Speaker 3: you have to have five.
Speaker 1: Yeah, not really ten, But you know, I just kind
Speaker 1: of go by the like if I'm like having fun,
Speaker 1: I'll have another.
Speaker 2: But I'm very happy to either not drink or stop
Speaker 2: after one, you know, So I'm very I would I
Speaker 2: would say this question is more for you. I also
Speaker 2: think there's something about the ritual of having a drink
Speaker 2: in your hand. So I think if you have a
Speaker 2: mocktail or something like Ali was stopped. Ali stopped drinking
Speaker 2: because realized it was like really causing anxiety and she
Speaker 2: was like, why am I doing something that's adding on
Speaker 2: to something that's already debilitating sometimes and so she just
Speaker 2: did it to see if she could and how she
Speaker 2: would feel. And I think she's at like one hundred
Speaker 2: days now of like no drinking.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 2: And it's like helped so much with her getting on
Speaker 2: a plane, because she used to feel like she had
Speaker 2: to have a glass of champagne and then that would
Speaker 2: add to the plane anxiety. And so now she is
Speaker 2: so much better on planes, way calmer. And I think
Speaker 2: that if you can look at it as like it's
Speaker 2: just helping your mental health a lot and like how
Speaker 2: you feel physically. But I think that sometimes it's just
Speaker 2: the ritual. So she does a lot of mocktail. She'll
Speaker 2: you know, have like a soda water with lime and
Speaker 2: just to it's like the ritual of having a drink
Speaker 2: while you're socializing.
Speaker 5: Yeah, there's definitely that.
Speaker 1: But it's so funny because like I think, come every Monday,
Speaker 1: Robby and I are like, yeah, we're gonna cut down
Speaker 1: the drinking.
Speaker 5: And then I remember on our anniversary day, we.
Speaker 1: Like went to and the minute we sat down, we
Speaker 1: had champagne and then we got a martini and then
Speaker 1: we had brought us over a little shot of something
Speaker 1: and I'm like and then there's an espresso martini coming out,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, here we are for drinks and on
Speaker 1: a Tuesday or whatever.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it just happens. Life comes at you fast.
Speaker 2: And I also think it's different when you have a
Speaker 2: part if you have like Haley does not drink. Like
Speaker 2: she'll have a drink if we're on vacation, but she
Speaker 2: very rarely is drinking. She will take an edible or something,
Speaker 2: but she is not a drinker. So it's very easy
Speaker 2: for me to not drink because I don't have my
Speaker 2: partner and the person that I'm doing, you know, right.
Speaker 1: But my partner is like on the same page as me,
Speaker 1: Like we're both like, let's stop drinking as much.
Speaker 5: And then we go to sit down to have dinner
Speaker 5: and then.
Speaker 1: We're like, hmmm, or it's a taco Tuesday, We're like,
Speaker 1: should we open a bottle of wine?
Speaker 5: I'm good with this red meat?
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I think the maybe you just if you want to
Speaker 2: have one drink, then switch over to a mockdale or
Speaker 2: water or something and see if you can do the
Speaker 2: balance and if you can't. I don't think not drinking
Speaker 2: is a negative thing at all. It's poison.
Speaker 3: It really is.
Speaker 5: Literally drinking is bad either. I let me tell you something.
Speaker 2: I'm saying, if you don't feel like you can do
Speaker 2: it in moderation and like you feel bad and like
Speaker 2: don't feel good when you're doing it, then I think
Speaker 2: I don't think it's a bad thing to not do it.
Speaker 4: I think if you can balance it.
Speaker 6: Of the two options, I think it's probably better to
Speaker 6: air on the set, right.
Speaker 5: That's so fun when you're drunk, Yeah, it is.
Speaker 2: Life comes at you fast, and then that next morning
Speaker 2: comes and you're like, never again.
Speaker 5: Never again, have you been drunk.
Speaker 6: I've never ever had a sip of alcohol?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: I tried. I well, I did. I felt that fear pressure,
Speaker 4: fear pressured. I didn't. It wasn't that though I wanted.
Speaker 2: We did the shot game where we had five pores
Speaker 2: of yeah, and I was like I just wanted him
Speaker 2: to be a part of it. But he was like,
Speaker 2: I'm not doing it. I'm not taking the risk. And
Speaker 2: I was like, how do I involve themselves? Like okay,
Speaker 2: you pour them and you know that's the way perfect.
Speaker 2: And then I felt guilty because I didn't know he
Speaker 2: had literally never had him a little bit.
Speaker 6: How about this is the time everyone think you're so
Speaker 6: cool if you do it.
Speaker 2: But I do think I may have said something like
Speaker 2: this is why not now you get that.
Speaker 3: I get that from a lot of people like oh,
Speaker 3: I'm going to do it, I'm going to get you drunk, or.
Speaker 5: Have annoying that.
Speaker 6: I've had a lot of people be like, when you
Speaker 6: decided to do it, I want to be there.
Speaker 3: I forget that too.
Speaker 4: Yes, I'm sorry if I did that.
Speaker 6: I did not feel believe me. I'm almost forty years
Speaker 6: old adult to be.
Speaker 4: Involved in the game.
Speaker 6: I did, and I appreciate you.
Speaker 2: I was hoping you were going to get water is
Speaker 2: what I was hoping. But I thought what's meant to
Speaker 2: be will always be.
Speaker 4: Said Alison got it who also rarely.
Speaker 6: Yeah, my family is very very into why And every
Speaker 6: time I go to like Christmas or something, still they
Speaker 6: offer like you said, can't wear your glass. I'm like
Speaker 6: I'm good and like okay, they still offer it to me,
Speaker 6: and I appreciate that. I appreciate being included in like
Speaker 6: the ritual of it, but also straightage for life.
Speaker 8: Baby.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: The people that are like I'm gonna get you drunk, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's so weird. We all just like, as a society,
Speaker 1: we all do these things where we like pushy push
Speaker 1: other people to do things that they don't want to do.
Speaker 5: It's so weird. I'm sure I do it all the time.
Speaker 1: Too, So I'm including myself in this annoyingness.
Speaker 5: But it's very annoying. Like I will never ask another
Speaker 5: bride when her wedding date is ever.
Speaker 4: Speaking of, I'll never do that. I'm on our lot
Speaker 4: of episode.
Speaker 5: I'll never do it.
Speaker 3: We're narrowing it down. I know that, Yeah, we may
Speaker 3: have a.
Speaker 1: Month when I know I'll let every everybody in my circle,
Speaker 1: everybody in my circle, everybody that's invited will know.
Speaker 2: That's interesting. It's interesting that that bugs you. And yet
Speaker 2: I'm asked on a regular basis when I'm getting married
Speaker 2: by you, Well, so, or do I ever think about
Speaker 2: my wedding? Or what would it look like? Am I
Speaker 2: going to get engaged? Say what kind of ring do
Speaker 2: I want? Interesting, I've made it clear where I stand
Speaker 2: on that.
Speaker 5: Well, so.
Speaker 1: That was just because you said that you're not going
Speaker 1: to tell anybody. So I feel like I need to
Speaker 1: ask because you said you weren't going to tell me
Speaker 1: do you get what I'm saying? Where it's different where
Speaker 1: I will you will be the first person to.
Speaker 5: Know when I walk in a date. Why are you
Speaker 5: laughing at that?
Speaker 6: Watch your mind like clicking. It's I love it.
Speaker 3: The rationalization is so difficult here, but you're finding a
Speaker 3: way to do it.
Speaker 1: So if you are, if you're telling me you're not
Speaker 1: going to tell me, then I need to ask no.
Speaker 3: But she's telling you she's not going to tell you
Speaker 3: because she wants it to be a surprise, So you
Speaker 3: asking doesn't help.
Speaker 1: Wellading she's loading. But then she's like, oh, we should
Speaker 1: look at wedding bands, and I'm like, oh, yeah, are
Speaker 1: we thinking about wedding bands?
Speaker 2: So I was going to a jewelry opening event for
Speaker 2: Ring Concierge and I Tanya will eventually be looking for
Speaker 2: wedding bands, and I was like, would you want to
Speaker 2: be my plus one if you want to look at
Speaker 2: wedding man's while we're there. I didn't say anything about
Speaker 2: me looking at wedding man's talking about you as the
Speaker 2: bride to be.
Speaker 1: Then you posted the photo saying I do be browsing
Speaker 1: Hailey Kyoko, which got a lot of traction in the Facebook.
Speaker 5: So you know what you're doing, is Rebecca Tilly.
Speaker 2: I didn't say I'm dumb and didn't sam dumb content.
Speaker 2: I am a content creator.
Speaker 5: She do be browsing.
Speaker 2: So that was a big old rock dude, Haley goes,
Speaker 2: are you sure you like it that big? That up?
Speaker 4: Mm hmm.
Speaker 5: I like the round on you though.
Speaker 4: It was pretty hard.
Speaker 5: It was very pretty.
Speaker 2: Yeah that I only don't tried on two though.
Speaker 1: I know, but the round is like hard. I tried
Speaker 1: it on a round and it did not look pretty
Speaker 1: on me.
Speaker 2: Well, Ali has a round and I've I've tried that
Speaker 2: on and I've always been like, oh, I like how
Speaker 2: that looks.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So yeah, but anyways, shall we get back to Bonnia questions?
Speaker 3: I think we should take a break and then get
Speaker 3: back to Oh my gosh.
Speaker 4: One thing we do is we take breaks. Let's go.
Speaker 2: All right, we are back and we have time for
Speaker 2: one more dear Bonnia question.
Speaker 3: I like it when they send in this cute stuff
Speaker 3: like this. This is Caitlin who came up with this.
Speaker 3: Hi friends Legit feels like we're best friends, so just
Speaker 3: go with it. Okay, So it's a fun one. Can
Speaker 3: you guys categorize the original Gray's interns, that being Magic Meredith, Alex, George, Izzy,
Speaker 3: and Christina. But whether you feel like each one is
Speaker 3: a Becca or a Tanya? My best friend and I
Speaker 3: love the pod. It is the one thing we always
Speaker 3: share everyone and Thursday morning, even if we can't see
Speaker 3: each other often ps between the two of us, I'm
Speaker 3: Tanya you all right? So should we go one at
Speaker 3: a time? Meredith Gray? Is she a Becca or a Tanya?
Speaker 4: Alex Becca?
Speaker 3: Correct?
Speaker 4: Yes?
Speaker 5: How so?
Speaker 2: I feel like he's just very to himself and is
Speaker 2: just like quiet and does this thing and doesn't need.
Speaker 4: Or want attention.
Speaker 5: Interesting?
Speaker 4: What about him makes him a Tanya?
Speaker 1: I feel like he was very much like in the
Speaker 1: dating game, like dated a lot. I was like out
Speaker 1: and about dating. That's really it. Yeah, no, all right, fine,
Speaker 1: we'll give you him.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I think he's a Becca George.
Speaker 2: Tanya oh soo, just very willing to please and very
Speaker 2: you know, wanting to be a part teacher's pet.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right?
Speaker 3: Is heya? Okay? And Christina Becka?
Speaker 2: Oh how is Christina Tanya?
Speaker 5: How is she a Becca? She's like emotionally shut off.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I don't think I'm emotionally shut off. But I do
Speaker 2: feel like I keep my cards a little closer than you.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I guess I could see that.
Speaker 4: I think she.
Speaker 2: Would craft a text way more like me than she
Speaker 2: would not be sending dms of trying to continue the
Speaker 2: drink conversation.
Speaker 5: That's true, that's fair, that's fair.
Speaker 4: What about her makes her a Tania Tea.
Speaker 5: Pipe very Type A?
Speaker 4: You are not type.
Speaker 2: What I've realized traveling with you is you are not
Speaker 2: Type SO. I don't think you're as organized and prepared
Speaker 2: as you. I think being prepared and stuff is Type A.
Speaker 2: How I see Type A.
Speaker 4: I don't think.
Speaker 2: I'm not saying this is a negative thing too. I'm
Speaker 2: I'm pleased to see the cracks in the the cracks
Speaker 2: in the floor.
Speaker 4: Yah, it's good. I feel like Robbie's like relaxed you
Speaker 4: what not emotionally.
Speaker 5: But I'm so Type A doesn't get more Type A
Speaker 5: than me.
Speaker 4: Really, I think you.
Speaker 2: Envision yourself as Type A, and I think at one
Speaker 2: point in your life you were more Type A. But
Speaker 2: I don't think you are as much Type A anymore.
Speaker 2: I'm not I again, this is not a negative thing
Speaker 2: saying this as a complimented.
Speaker 3: What traits do you have that are Type A.
Speaker 1: I like to go to bed at the same time.
Speaker 1: I like to eat the same things. I like to
Speaker 1: have my routine. I like to be clean.
Speaker 3: I like type is defined by ambition, drive, and competitiveness.
Speaker 5: Oh interesting, Wow, you like routine. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh, and I'm not that I've had that wrong
Speaker 1: my whole life.
Speaker 5: Read me it again.
Speaker 3: A Type A personality is defined by ambition, drive, and competitiveness,
Speaker 3: which can lead to a high level of success. They
Speaker 3: can also be impatient, hostile, and have trouble relaxing.
Speaker 5: Yeah, all those things. I'm all those things, except not
Speaker 5: super competitive.
Speaker 3: Yes, one of the main thing. I think aggressive, ambitious, controlling.
Speaker 5: All those things.
Speaker 6: Type B is easy going, relaxed, and highly flexible.
Speaker 4: No me, I think you're an in between. I think
Speaker 4: you're like a B B plus A minus.
Speaker 5: Thank you Type A minus you thinking.
Speaker 2: No, I'm saying I don't think you. I don't think
Speaker 2: you hit B. I think you're A minus whatever. The
Speaker 2: lowest grade of A is ninety three your B Type B.
Speaker 4: Yes.
Speaker 3: In relationships, type as take the lead. They want to
Speaker 3: be dominant. They take the lead, planning days, deciding on activities,
Speaker 3: that sort of thing.
Speaker 5: You're not that, No, I'm not that, although they're.
Speaker 3: Calling the family meetings every month. Seems kind of a
Speaker 3: type a personality.
Speaker 4: Yeah, c c, No, you have traits.
Speaker 2: I just I said, at one point you were way
Speaker 2: more type, and I feel like you've.
Speaker 5: Relaxed a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: Pre Robbie was a time she was meticulous, meticulous.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I think a lot more people think they're
Speaker 3: type than actually are type. Yeah.
Speaker 5: I agree. Yeah, my apartment used to look like a museum.
Speaker 4: But Christina, her whole thing was dirty.
Speaker 5: It was my gosh, you're right, even worse than me. Yeah,
Speaker 5: she's such a Becca, you're right.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 4: And that's all for now.
Speaker 2: If you want to submit a Dear Bonnier question, dms
Speaker 2: on Instagram at scrubbing and pod or email us at
Speaker 2: scrubbing into iHeartMedia dot com.
Speaker 1: You know, it was a fun little fact that I
Speaker 1: realized after the crossover episode, because I always thought that
Speaker 1: Camilla Luddington was more of a Becca and Jessica Capshaw
Speaker 1: was more of a ton Yet, but it's actually opposite. Yes,
Speaker 1: Jessica Capshaw's the Becca and Camilla is the tone.
Speaker 3: I can see that now that I've listened to call
Speaker 3: it what it is.
Speaker 5: Yeah, so that's a little fun fact. I'm going to
Speaker 5: put that in my bike.
Speaker 4: Just what that Camilla is a Tania, just her first name,
Speaker 4: You're just c L.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: All right, Well that's all for now, but we will
Speaker 2: be back next week with more riveting content for you all,
Speaker 2: and we can't wait.
Speaker 5: Can't wait.
Speaker 4: Love you so much.
Speaker 6: Bite