Speaker 1: I Suck At Dating with de Nungler, Jared Haven, and
Speaker 1: I Heart Radio podcast. What's going on? Everyone? Welcome to
Speaker 1: an all new episode of Help I Suck At Podcasting
Speaker 1: with Dean Ungler, Jared Haven, and our new co host
Speaker 1: this week, Analyze Puccini. She's been around for a while,
Speaker 1: but we haven't heard from me in a while. Analyze,
Speaker 1: how are you? I'm good. I think the last time
Speaker 1: I talked to you, guys, I was in Maui, so
Speaker 1: a lot's changed. Well, are you not in Hawaii anymore?
Speaker 1: I'm not back in San Francisco. I have a new
Speaker 1: puppy who you may hear in the background, little baby.
Speaker 1: What's the dog's name? Posey posy? Why posey? Uh? Like
Speaker 1: pocket full of posies? I want to kind of like
Speaker 1: an old fashioned name, and I don't know just fit.
Speaker 1: I guess it's probably like I don't know if you
Speaker 1: if you will, you guys found a name already, But
Speaker 1: do you? Did you try out names for a while?
Speaker 1: Like with the baby coming, were you like walking our
Speaker 1: the house trying different names? Because I feel like that's
Speaker 1: what I was doing. I was kind of like, oh,
Speaker 1: maybe it's this today, and I'd try it for a
Speaker 1: day and I'm like, that doesn't like fit. No, in
Speaker 1: the most Ashley fashioned ever, She's had this name picked
Speaker 1: out for a long time and I either was with
Speaker 1: it or I was going to get with it, and
Speaker 1: I was with it, luckily, So Dawson was like heard.
Speaker 1: She wanted to Dawson boy, girl didn't matter, and I said,
Speaker 1: I'd like it for a boy, and if it's a girl,
Speaker 1: we might have to talk more. And it was a boy,
Speaker 1: so it was Dawson, um And at least to your credit,
Speaker 1: That's what Caitlin and I did when we got our
Speaker 1: new puppy, Alistair. I knew right away I wanted him
Speaker 1: name Alister. I knew like the second I saw him
Speaker 1: that his name was Alistair. And Caitlin, for some reason,
Speaker 1: wasn't really sold on the idea. So she would walk
Speaker 1: around the house calling different names, and then she would
Speaker 1: be like, all right, let's name him Alister. And then
Speaker 1: like a day later she'd be like, no, let's name
Speaker 1: him Lester, or let's name him Martin or something like.
Speaker 1: Every day she would change your mind on it, and
Speaker 1: then eventually I was like, look, we don't have to
Speaker 1: name Alister, but we have to decide on the name
Speaker 1: pretty soon, because we can't just go around every single
Speaker 1: day of the dog's life calling him a different name,
Speaker 1: and then eventually we settle on alistair. But so posey
Speaker 1: is a good. Possy is good. It reminds me of
Speaker 1: James Posey, who was a great basketball player for the
Speaker 1: Denver Nuggets for a couple of years. So I'm all
Speaker 1: on board with the name Posey for sure. I got
Speaker 1: a question about posey. You said a pocket full of posey.
Speaker 1: I mean, does that mean posies are a small bouquet
Speaker 1: of flowers? The direction meaning of posies is full disclosure.
Speaker 1: I thought it was pocket full of roses. Isn't that
Speaker 1: nursery rhyme about like the bubonic plague or something like that.
Speaker 1: It's something like that. I did like a ton of
Speaker 1: research because I was like, I don't want to be
Speaker 1: running around calling O posy and then uh, you know, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's not or it's like somehow like a derogatory term
Speaker 1: used back in like the seventeen hundreds or whatever it was,
Speaker 1: exactly you never know these days. That's good. I did
Speaker 1: the same thing with the word um oh. I can't
Speaker 1: remember what it was, but it was like it was
Speaker 1: a that you believe all been using since we were
Speaker 1: like six years old. And then I said it once,
Speaker 1: like a week or two ago, and I was like, wow,
Speaker 1: that word sounds really bad, and I googled it and
Speaker 1: the first thing that came upen Google was all those
Speaker 1: words sounds really bad. It's actually not, and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: thank goodness, that's really good. It was like nincompoop, but
Speaker 1: it wasn't incompoop, but it was like something along those lines,
Speaker 1: What a great name, what a great word. Maybe it
Speaker 1: was maybe it was jankie. I think he was. Jankie
Speaker 1: was the word, which which sounds like it could be,
Speaker 1: but maybe maybe it's different word. I'm sorry, I only
Speaker 1: said no. I'm in San Francisco and Buster Posey was
Speaker 1: like all over the news when I first got her,
Speaker 1: and so everyone was like, oh, you named d after
Speaker 1: Buster Posey, which I mean maybe a little bit because
Speaker 1: he's very beloved in San Francisco, so he was a
Speaker 1: catcher for a while, right, uh something like that is
Speaker 1: probably no, but yeah, he was like all over the
Speaker 1: news and everyone loves him here. So every time I
Speaker 1: say her name is Posy, they're like, oh, like Buster like,
Speaker 1: if she has a brother, then we'll name him Buster. Maybe.
Speaker 1: So okay, So I gotta ask, what, um, what made
Speaker 1: you get out of Hawaii? Uh? So, island fever is
Speaker 1: a real thing. I had no idea, but I came.
Speaker 1: I left the island for like I'm supposed to be.
Speaker 1: I think ten days ended up being like three weeks.
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't really want to go back.
Speaker 1: The thing I started realizing there is as much as
Speaker 1: I loved the lifestyle and the weather and like surfing
Speaker 1: and doing all the things, I just really felt like
Speaker 1: there weren't enough opportunities for me there. And so just
Speaker 1: like it, I don't know, it, just it felt right.
Speaker 1: And then I came back and I spent time a
Speaker 1: ton of time in Tahoe and um and being around
Speaker 1: my family a lot again. And so I feel like,
Speaker 1: right now this is just where I need to be.
Speaker 1: But I'm I'm a little wonder last. You guys know that.
Speaker 1: So who knows where I'll be next, But I'm planning
Speaker 1: my next big adventure. Yeah, well, you know, it's okay
Speaker 1: to be wonder lost. It's okay to be lost. I
Speaker 1: think we're meant to be a little bit lost. Um
Speaker 1: so island fever. What you what you mean by that
Speaker 1: is like you just kind of like you crave going
Speaker 1: back to like a bigger city. You you get stuck
Speaker 1: in the monotony of the day to day island life.
Speaker 1: Like what exactly is island fever. It's the weirdest thing
Speaker 1: because people would talk about it and I'm like, what,
Speaker 1: There's no way I'm going to get that. This is
Speaker 1: so beautiful and then just one day it hit and
Speaker 1: I was like, get me off this island, Like it
Speaker 1: just feels like it's the thing is so I like
Speaker 1: to travel, and I like to be able to be mobile,
Speaker 1: and like I like road trips and so being able
Speaker 1: to get in the car and drive like an hour
Speaker 1: and be someplace totally different, or drive a couple of
Speaker 1: hours and be in a different state, Like on Mauie.
Speaker 1: You could drive forty five minutes and you're like on
Speaker 1: the other side of the island, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: and you're just you're like okay, and you sort of
Speaker 1: and I'm not like down playing Mauie. Oh, I think
Speaker 1: it's incredible and a wonderful place to Like I think
Speaker 1: if I was raising a family, maybe it would be
Speaker 1: a totally different story. But I was single and I
Speaker 1: was like, I'm not meeting anyone. It's still a pandemic.
Speaker 1: Like it just felt very you felt very locked in
Speaker 1: and like you couldn't. That feeling of not being able
Speaker 1: to leave just makes you all of a sudden be like,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I'm itching. I got I have to
Speaker 1: get off. I feel like it's similar to like growing
Speaker 1: up an aspen, where a lot of the people that
Speaker 1: you meet that you can like potentially be romantic with
Speaker 1: um are like they're on vacation and they're not there
Speaker 1: for like a permanent amount of time, so it's hard
Speaker 1: to like form a connection with them. So I can
Speaker 1: definitely understand where you're coming from. Well, two things come
Speaker 1: to mind, because you said interestingly enough that if you
Speaker 1: were raising a family, you'd stay in Maui, which I
Speaker 1: feel like it's a complete opposite at least in my mind.
Speaker 1: Don't people go to Hawaii when they're single? I because
Speaker 1: I guess the second thing was this is definitely stereotypical.
Speaker 1: But when I think of people moving to Hawaii, I
Speaker 1: think of just Paul Rudd from Forgetting Sara Marshall, And
Speaker 1: that is your future right there. You don't it's Jason Siegel.
Speaker 1: Come on, no, it's Paul Rudd. He's the one who
Speaker 1: lives in Hawaii. Starstructor, right, but Jason Siegel is the
Speaker 1: one that's visiting Hawaii. Yeah, but when when someone moves
Speaker 1: to Hawaii, I think of Paul Rudd where he's like,
Speaker 1: I don't even wear a watch anymore. On here, bro,
Speaker 1: it's on my cell phone. Yeah. I was Jason Segel
Speaker 1: going to Mary acent. That was my storyline. Basically, I
Speaker 1: went post breakup and then he ended up showing up
Speaker 1: with his new girlfriend. So I was I was him,
Speaker 1: but but then I needed to get back and find
Speaker 1: my malacunas though we're still working on that. But so
Speaker 1: update us then on your on your romantic situation, because
Speaker 1: last we talked to you, you were you were dating
Speaker 1: a guy in Hawaii. I thought, I mean, yeah, I've dated.
Speaker 1: I would say, like the last couple of years. I
Speaker 1: just I kind of keep my private life a little
Speaker 1: bit more private these days. Um, but you know, I
Speaker 1: dated somebody for like six months and then it's just
Speaker 1: life is still I feel like it's still really crazy.
Speaker 1: So um, and especially because I'm a mobile person, it's
Speaker 1: sometimes hard to find somebody who's just like in the
Speaker 1: same place at the same time as I. Um so
Speaker 1: that was part of the problem. He was he's a
Speaker 1: little bit of that personality type too, and so he
Speaker 1: moved back to South Africa. So like, so, I feel
Speaker 1: like it's you know, it's just tricky. But what do
Speaker 1: you mean You're you're mobile, Like you always want to
Speaker 1: be on the move. You never want to be stuck
Speaker 1: in one place kind of. Yeah, I like the idea
Speaker 1: of having a base, Like so San Francisco is my base,
Speaker 1: but I love the idea of being able to travel
Speaker 1: most of the time, and I try. I try to
Speaker 1: do that as much as possible, and I think I'm
Speaker 1: pretty good at like having a balance between being with
Speaker 1: my family and being stationary in San Francisco, but then
Speaker 1: also going to Tahobe in l A, going to MAUI,
Speaker 1: going to Europe, like I try to do as much
Speaker 1: as I can. But I feel like, Dean, you do
Speaker 1: that really well actually too, Yeah, I was. I was
Speaker 1: going to say, exactly what you're describing is exactly how
Speaker 1: Caitlin and I have worked out, too, And it's great,
Speaker 1: it's perfect. You can I'm in Las Vegas for a
Speaker 1: couple of days, and then I got to leave for
Speaker 1: a couple of weeks, come back to Vegas for a
Speaker 1: couple of days. You know, it's I became friends with Um.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you're familiar with the bucket List family,
Speaker 1: I'm familiar with them. Yeah yeah, so um so I'm
Speaker 1: friends with them. And they actually lived in the same
Speaker 1: town as me and Mawi. So um they helped to
Speaker 1: me move into my place. Like they're awesome, but um,
Speaker 1: but yeah, I love their lifestyle. Like I look at
Speaker 1: them and they're just goals to me. And that's I
Speaker 1: guess when I'm saying to raise a family there. What
Speaker 1: I loved about Maui was it's safe. You're in nature,
Speaker 1: You're you're you're exposing your kids not to like sitting
Speaker 1: in front of a TV, but instead like going surfing
Speaker 1: or going hiking or skateboarding or whatever, and you're just
Speaker 1: soaking up that sun. And um, getting to know people
Speaker 1: like your community is very different there. I felt like
Speaker 1: such a sense of community in Maui, more than I
Speaker 1: ever have anywhere in my life. How did you end
Speaker 1: up meeting the Buckless family? So funny story. I met
Speaker 1: Jessica on a plane like super she was. She was
Speaker 1: first class and I was not. I was flying from
Speaker 1: Arizona back to San Francisco and she was. I passed her,
Speaker 1: but I didn't, like I had been recognized on planes before,
Speaker 1: and it's really uncomfortable because then you're like on the
Speaker 1: plane the whole time, everyone's like who is she? Who
Speaker 1: is she? And You're like, I have nobody. Um so
Speaker 1: he was. I didn't want to make a scene about it,
Speaker 1: so I messaged her on Instagram and I was like, hey, uh,
Speaker 1: I'm on the same plane as you. I would love
Speaker 1: to stay high at the end of this plane. And
Speaker 1: she was. She waited for me and we said hi
Speaker 1: to each other. And she had been like following me
Speaker 1: and I, you know, so like she was familiar with
Speaker 1: who I was. But but anyways, and then we just
Speaker 1: became friends from there. And that's like the beauty about
Speaker 1: social media is just you you can meet people from
Speaker 1: all walks of life and get connected to people. But
Speaker 1: then she was so sweet, Like I had to quarantine
Speaker 1: for two weeks in my house on Mallie and she
Speaker 1: would come to my driveway and just wave to me
Speaker 1: because her leave and and uh, and give me a
Speaker 1: little like visits from the sidewalk, and then she helped
Speaker 1: me move to my apartment that I was in for
Speaker 1: the majority of my my stay there. And yeah, I
Speaker 1: surfed with Garrett and they're just an awesome family. I
Speaker 1: love them nice. They must be Uh, she must be
Speaker 1: a Bachelor fan or something, because I remember that she
Speaker 1: messaged me once a long time ago and I was like, whoa,
Speaker 1: this person seems like she's living the best life ever.
Speaker 1: They are They were like way more. I can't remember
Speaker 1: what season was going on, but I remember they invited
Speaker 1: me to come watch it one night and I was
Speaker 1: nice watching this season. Yeah, but yeah, no there and
Speaker 1: it's like there's just such a community there that they've built.
Speaker 1: And so it was really nice to be friends with
Speaker 1: them because I feel like they were my first friends
Speaker 1: that then introduced me to a lot of other friends there.
Speaker 1: So I was I mean, I was so grateful that
Speaker 1: I had them on now. They were the only people
Speaker 1: I knew going there, Like, yeah, what part of Mowe
Speaker 1: did you live in? Uh? So we are on the
Speaker 1: North Shore in PA. Yeah, I know where that is.
Speaker 1: We we went out there for a wedding a year
Speaker 1: and a half ago, and you know, like the airports
Speaker 1: I think on the eastern side of the island, and
Speaker 1: we were staying at a resort on the western side,
Speaker 1: and there was a big brush fire like right in
Speaker 1: the middle of the island and there's only like two
Speaker 1: there's a road up north in a road down south,
Speaker 1: and both of those roads were closed because of the fire.
Speaker 1: And so we like we're on the highway for like
Speaker 1: seven hours and like you said earlier, forty minutes to
Speaker 1: get from one time to the other. It was the worst,
Speaker 1: and like we were looking up to like like you
Speaker 1: wanted to like at a hotel, but since everyone else
Speaker 1: is getting stuck, all the hotels were booked, so we
Speaker 1: just like slept in our car on the side of
Speaker 1: the highway. It was absolutely miserable. But other than that,
Speaker 1: Maui was absolutely beautiful. Um. But we're going back actually
Speaker 1: in a couple of months for a wedding, and if
Speaker 1: you have any recommendations at some point, you're gonna have
Speaker 1: to pass them along to me. Yeah. I actually might
Speaker 1: be back in a couple of months too. I'm doing
Speaker 1: a choper a certification course right now to be on
Speaker 1: the choper Court coach and they're doing a big retreat there,
Speaker 1: and so I'm like, oh, I might have to go.
Speaker 1: You're telling me Panka Chopra has her own course deep Chopra. Oh,
Speaker 1: Deepak Chopra. That would be pretty funny. I yeah, that's
Speaker 1: your name, right, is what is Deepak Chopra? Feel listen
Speaker 1: on that a little bit? Like meditation? Uh you Veda
Speaker 1: there's yeah, it's it's really interesting stuff. I'm like, still,
Speaker 1: I feel like I feel like I need I need
Speaker 1: a tutor though, because I'm really about at all the terminology.
Speaker 1: But but like the meditation, mindfulness, like better sleep, eating better,
Speaker 1: like all that, all that sort of stuff, nice stuff
Speaker 1: that we all could use. I feel like, yeah, it's
Speaker 1: a good thing to having your back pockets. I was
Speaker 1: thinking about that today, eating better, because I had a
Speaker 1: coffee roll from Duncan. We got a coffee and then
Speaker 1: I also got a coffee roll because it looked very glazy,
Speaker 1: and I was in the mood and I was thinking
Speaker 1: about how I've been eating unhealthier as I've been working
Speaker 1: more at the coffee shop, and it's only going to
Speaker 1: progressively get worse now that I'm a dad and I'll
Speaker 1: be eating probably frozen mac and cheese for my foresuvable future.
Speaker 1: And that's all that was my thought right there. I
Speaker 1: gotta get back, I gotta get back into eating healthy
Speaker 1: and meditating. And it's very good that you're getting your
Speaker 1: license to there. But we are dating podcast, and I
Speaker 1: know you're gonna keep your private life a little bit
Speaker 1: more private and at last, but I do have to ask,
Speaker 1: what's the biggest difference between dating in Hawaii and dating
Speaker 1: in San Francisco? Is there a difference? Do you find
Speaker 1: that men are different in each city? Well, now there
Speaker 1: is just no inventory where it was like I had
Speaker 1: to go like that. That was really yeah, no, because
Speaker 1: everyone is families there, or they're in relationships. Like you
Speaker 1: were saying, like you think of it being a single place,
Speaker 1: it's a really big like honeymoon spot. It's a great
Speaker 1: place for people to go as like a couple. So
Speaker 1: um so a lot of people are in relationships already,
Speaker 1: So there just weren't that many single people. Are there
Speaker 1: other places in Hawaii that notoriously are known for being
Speaker 1: much more single oriented. I'm not sure, but if there were,
Speaker 1: I probably should have done my research and gown to
Speaker 1: one of those beautiful. I bet you like why Kiki
Speaker 1: and Honolulu are yea why Kiki just sounds like it
Speaker 1: should be single? Yeah, like, yeah, it's definitely sexy. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean in San Francisco, I just feel like I
Speaker 1: have options, you know, and and it's I don't know,
Speaker 1: I feel like it's easier to meet people and just
Speaker 1: have like a coffee date and put less pressure on
Speaker 1: it than in Mali. I was like, there's if I
Speaker 1: met somebody, I think I had more expectations of like
Speaker 1: I want this to go someplace because I'm like, you're
Speaker 1: you're kind of cool, and I haven't really met anyone
Speaker 1: else in a long time, Whereas now I'm like, okay,
Speaker 1: you're cool, but onto the next whatever, you know. Um,
Speaker 1: but no, I've met a really like a lot of
Speaker 1: really great people, and I mean I'm like talking to
Speaker 1: people and things are good. So um, no complaints there,
Speaker 1: but but I haven't found I know, like in a relationship,
Speaker 1: let's found the guy. Yeah. You know what you how
Speaker 1: to do, analyst is uh sign up prayer. Bachelor in
Speaker 1: Paradise season eight. You know, I always think about you, Deane,
Speaker 1: because that like since I did the last Bachelor in Paradise.
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, never again, and I feel like that
Speaker 1: was totally you where you went on and met Kalin.
Speaker 1: I'm like, not a shot in hell. But then I
Speaker 1: was thinking about it, I'm like, it is still a
Speaker 1: pandemic and dating now sucks, so I would maybe have
Speaker 1: to reconsider if it was off. I'll tell you why
Speaker 1: you should reconsider. And this goes for everyone involved with
Speaker 1: something like this, where the first couple of times you know,
Speaker 1: you do it and you're excited and you want to
Speaker 1: meet someone and you're trying really hard, and then eventually
Speaker 1: you're just like, screw it, I don't want to go.
Speaker 1: And then maybe that you get to the point we're like, okay, fine,
Speaker 1: I'll go, but I'm not gonna like care at all.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna try hard. And that's really what sets
Speaker 1: you over there, Like that's what really sets you up
Speaker 1: for success. In my opinion, especially when it comes to
Speaker 1: this show, is like the less you care, the more
Speaker 1: likely it is to end well for you for so
Speaker 1: many reasons, because like, you're not gonna be trying hard,
Speaker 1: You're not gonna be trying to force anything. You're like
Speaker 1: energy will naturally like bring people towards you, because you're
Speaker 1: probably like one of the few people there that like
Speaker 1: isn't super high strung the entire time. So I just wouldn't.
Speaker 1: I would say, don't count it out. But when you
Speaker 1: ultimately make the decision, I want you to be grudgingly
Speaker 1: accept and like go into it with that attitude, you know,
Speaker 1: like I don't need to be here, Why am I here?
Speaker 1: And then sure enough it's gonna work out perfectly. I
Speaker 1: think that's how it have to be. Like I'm not
Speaker 1: going to go in right at this moment. I wouldn't
Speaker 1: be going in like oh my god, I'm so excited.
Speaker 1: I'd be like, oh my god, I'm doing this again. Okay,
Speaker 1: we'll see. If anything happens, anything comes from it, so
Speaker 1: be it. But I mean I think it would happen
Speaker 1: if I went on, though, it would have to be
Speaker 1: somebody from like such an old, old old season that
Speaker 1: like nobody knows about. You know what I mean, that
Speaker 1: they just dug out of out of the earth. Is
Speaker 1: there is there no new contestants that have sparked your
Speaker 1: eye recently? I don't. I mean, I have not been
Speaker 1: keeping up as much as maybe I should, But you know,
Speaker 1: there's I don't know. Come on, now's your chance. Now,
Speaker 1: time to get it out there, time to get an
Speaker 1: US Weekly article written about Analys and some prospective suitor
Speaker 1: of hers. Uh no, there's I mean no, there's some
Speaker 1: really great guys and Bachelor Nation. I'll say that, but
Speaker 1: but I don't know. I think it's so hard because
Speaker 1: until you actually like meet any of these people, it's
Speaker 1: just you see them on TV, we have our edits
Speaker 1: and you or you see them like on social media,
Speaker 1: and you just get vibes from people um, good, bad
Speaker 1: or in different So until you actually like meet them
Speaker 1: in person and see if there's that chemistry, then I
Speaker 1: don't know. For me, it's hard. Like I've had in
Speaker 1: the pastor I've seen people, Oh I have such a
Speaker 1: crush on that person, but there's nobody that I'm like
Speaker 1: crushing on. And can we just talk about crushes. I
Speaker 1: miss having crushes, like I think crushes are the most
Speaker 1: fun thing. Do you guys stop crushes on your ladies?
Speaker 1: I was waiting for you. I guess it depends on
Speaker 1: your definition of a crush. That was a cop out answer. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean there are definitely times I still have a
Speaker 1: crush on Ashley, Like upstairs, I was just putting together
Speaker 1: the changing table and she came up and gave me
Speaker 1: a hug, and she gave and then she gave me
Speaker 1: a kiss, and she was just very she was jokingly
Speaker 1: excited about the kiss, you know. So that was cute.
Speaker 1: So that was a fun moment. But also it's a
Speaker 1: tricky time answer this question because of everything that's going
Speaker 1: on in the Haben family, Right, yeah, I mean, what
Speaker 1: do you mean that she's like nine months pregnant? Read
Speaker 1: it off well, I mean I've heard the stories where
Speaker 1: she was puking in the toilet and also Pete a
Speaker 1: little bit at the same time, so she just had
Speaker 1: some sort of discharge. So start to have a crush
Speaker 1: on someone like that, not saying you don't love her,
Speaker 1: because I know you love her with your whole heart,
Speaker 1: but it's hard to have like a you're you know,
Speaker 1: it's heard of. I can only imagine. I don't know
Speaker 1: exactly I'm I'm projecting here, obviously, Um I'm in the
Speaker 1: same boat. I have a crush on Kitlin most times.
Speaker 1: I mean certainly not all the time. There are times
Speaker 1: where I'm like, oh, get away from me, But there
Speaker 1: there are times where I'm like, yeah, okay, cool, this
Speaker 1: is you know, this is nice. I gotta crush um. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I could. I could picture you with
Speaker 1: Do you remember the guy from I think he was
Speaker 1: from Katie season. He was the the widowed father. He's
Speaker 1: I can't remember his name. He's got like that. It
Speaker 1: could be Michael, Yeah, it could be he was. He was.
Speaker 1: He's like a dad. He's a little older. I could
Speaker 1: see you guys just really by. So it's funny my
Speaker 1: mom said him. But then my mom's reason always is
Speaker 1: like she always goes, oh, but I think he doesn't
Speaker 1: want to move, or I think he's pretty stationary where
Speaker 1: he is because he's got a kid or whatever. That's
Speaker 1: always a big thing. She's always looking out for the
Speaker 1: moving part. Yeah. Well it's great. It's great that she's
Speaker 1: got the foresight. She's looking into the future, you know,
Speaker 1: because yeah, no, my mom and grandma are on there.
Speaker 1: They watch everything Bachelor and they are constantly like, oh,
Speaker 1: I gotta tell you about this, And I'm like, I
Speaker 1: don't know who these people are. Um, But I like
Speaker 1: social media. I keep up on it pretty pretty well.
Speaker 1: I know, I know the gist of what's going on
Speaker 1: these days. That's good, that's important, and a lot of
Speaker 1: people don't really take that into consideration when they start dating,
Speaker 1: especially in Bachelor Nation. You know, they meet on a show.
Speaker 1: One lives in California, one lives in New York, and
Speaker 1: then they get off the show and all of a
Speaker 1: sudden they have to figure out what they're gonna do
Speaker 1: with like where are they going to live, who's gonna
Speaker 1: move to where? And I feel like that's kind of
Speaker 1: the demise of a lot of relationships. So it's good
Speaker 1: to look into that and like, you know, imagine, look, obviously,
Speaker 1: let's say you're out of Bachelor Um and you're just
Speaker 1: traveling and you've got your Tinder profile set up, like
Speaker 1: you gotta take into account a lot of those things
Speaker 1: like proximity all that kind of stuff. So it's good
Speaker 1: that your mom and your grandmother are looking out for
Speaker 1: you like that. Except I'm a mobile person. But no,
Speaker 1: I don't know if I could. I don't know where
Speaker 1: he lives, but I don't know if I could be
Speaker 1: Like I guess the trickiest thing with that is like
Speaker 1: starting a relationship um long distance, because it's one thing
Speaker 1: to move somewhere for someone, But it's another thing to
Speaker 1: move somewhere for someone that you only known for a
Speaker 1: couple of days. I'm not saying that it's not impossible,
Speaker 1: but I know it sounds pretty impossible. Yeah, well, you
Speaker 1: know it is what it is. All right. Well, we're
Speaker 1: gonna take one quick break. We're going to get back
Speaker 1: to uh have an inn at least co host with
Speaker 1: us this week, So stay tuned through the break. Will
Speaker 1: be right back. Okay, everybody, welcome back to help I
Speaker 1: suck at dating. Jared looks like he's about to ask
Speaker 1: a question. I feel like that's just my face. I
Speaker 1: mean I have questions asking at least, but I was
Speaker 1: thinking about that the other to day. I have resting
Speaker 1: question face, resting question face, and I also think I
Speaker 1: have resting I think I just have resting bitch face.
Speaker 1: I think that's what it really comes down to. I
Speaker 1: feel like a lot of people think I'm angry most
Speaker 1: of the time, and I'm not sure. I think it's
Speaker 1: my eyebrows. I think you are just an angry person. Um,
Speaker 1: I've got a question for you before you get to
Speaker 1: before you get to your questions for analyst and the
Speaker 1: dating headlines and all that stuff. I've got a question
Speaker 1: for you. Um, full disclosure for our audience listening to this.
Speaker 1: The date is January. It's a Friday. But Jared, um,
Speaker 1: we're getting pretty close to the due date for you
Speaker 1: and Ashley, well for Ashley, but you're, you know, by
Speaker 1: association part of it as well. Yeah, I'll be holding
Speaker 1: her hand, you know. Um. So what's can you like
Speaker 1: pill us in on what we can expect in the
Speaker 1: next week for two, I mean, I'm hoping that uh,
Speaker 1: little Dawson enters this world before the next week. So
Speaker 1: what happened yesterday, uh, Thursday, the twin t seven. I
Speaker 1: was at work and you know, always trying to figure
Speaker 1: out when I was going to head down to Virginia.
Speaker 1: We didn't know when the baby was going to come. Obviously,
Speaker 1: my presence just needed at the coffee shops, so just
Speaker 1: balancing both. And then Ashley called me after her doctor's
Speaker 1: appointment and she said, my doctor said that I'm three
Speaker 1: centimeters dilated and like the way my body is progressing
Speaker 1: right now, she really thinks that my water could break
Speaker 1: within the next eight hours. So obviously I needed to
Speaker 1: get down in Virginia immediately. Especially there's a giant snowstorm
Speaker 1: about to hit the northeast that they're going to get
Speaker 1: like two ft of snow, So I would have been
Speaker 1: stuck there, possibly for a couple of days. So I
Speaker 1: knew I had So I just left work, went to
Speaker 1: the airport, flew here, and Ashley's fine. You know, we're
Speaker 1: not She's not in labor. Her water hasn't broken. But
Speaker 1: last night she started getting cramps, which apparently is a
Speaker 1: sign that she might go into labor pretty soon. And
Speaker 1: she's also getting she called them lightning. I don't know lightning.
Speaker 1: You just get like little, uh lashes of pain and
Speaker 1: you know down there. And I think these are all
Speaker 1: signs that the baby's coming within the next couple of days.
Speaker 1: So I'm thinking within the next week, we're very much
Speaker 1: in store for little Dawson to enter this world, which
Speaker 1: is very exciting. Um and surprisingly I said this on Instagram,
Speaker 1: and I really, I really meant it. I feel calm.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure if I should feel calm. I don't
Speaker 1: know if I'm naive, but um, you know, not that
Speaker 1: we're ready to be parents. I don't think anybody's ever
Speaker 1: fully ready to be a parent. You have to take
Speaker 1: care of another human being. But I'm just not scared um,
Speaker 1: which I think is a good sign. I guess we'll
Speaker 1: find out unless I talked to you in a week
Speaker 1: and I'm like I was wrong. I'm crying, i haven't slept,
Speaker 1: I'm starving. This kid is runing my life. I don't
Speaker 1: think that's gonna be a case. But yeah, that's what
Speaker 1: you can really expect over here. Other than that, UH
Speaker 1: just gonna uh you know, uh continue doing the damn thing.
Speaker 1: There's like it's just crazy because it's just like we're
Speaker 1: all waiting, like okay, it's just whenever he's ready, and
Speaker 1: he's moving a lot. Today he like he's moving. It's
Speaker 1: not so much as Ashley was describing it, where he's
Speaker 1: moving and he's kind of just rolling over and nobody
Speaker 1: can see me doing this because we're a podcast, but
Speaker 1: I'm miming the motion of rolling over. Like you can
Speaker 1: feel his shoulder. Today it felt like he was like
Speaker 1: reaching out like like really hands moving elbows, like big
Speaker 1: punches almost because actually, like it's it's really funny. There'd
Speaker 1: be moments actually just sitting there and she's like oh,
Speaker 1: it's like she's like, oh my God, he's just like
Speaker 1: really pressing against my ribs. Um, but it's pretty cool.
Speaker 1: And uh, putting the crypt together, excuse me, the changing table.
Speaker 1: It's been fun putting together the assortment of different baby
Speaker 1: uh paraphernilia that we have. But it's no under dads
Speaker 1: know how to do everything or I know how to
Speaker 1: put everything together. It's just like you learn on the fly.
Speaker 1: Now that I look back, all the dads how to
Speaker 1: put all this together. Of course they know how to
Speaker 1: put like shelves together. That's easy compared to this stuff. Um,
Speaker 1: so that's my life right now. So, um, you're prepared.
Speaker 1: It sounds like you're ready. Yeah, we're all right. You know,
Speaker 1: we're fine. And Dawson is like in the proper position
Speaker 1: that it needs to be, because I understand like he
Speaker 1: has to be like in the perfect position in order
Speaker 1: to be birthed properly. Right Yeah, dude, it's I mean,
Speaker 1: he's looking good right now. It's crazy though, like my
Speaker 1: sister got induced and holyash, that just sounds like, oh Anna,
Speaker 1: least you guys are the stronger gender. I'll tell you that.
Speaker 1: What does it mean? It means that like you are you,
Speaker 1: it's time for the baby. To come, and they're going
Speaker 1: to force this baby to come. Signals to your body
Speaker 1: so that your your body says okay, I'm ready. When
Speaker 1: I've got a little bit of toothpaste left in my
Speaker 1: tooth paste tube and I squeeze it out. Is that
Speaker 1: what they're doing, Like they're squeezing out that Actually okay,
Speaker 1: I think that's that's actually what the doctor said. He's like,
Speaker 1: do you guys know like okay gets towards the end,
Speaker 1: it's like that. But yeah, but like if you get induced,
Speaker 1: that's not ideal. And like the baby, like my sister,
Speaker 1: the baby wasn't facing in the right direction, so she
Speaker 1: had to be like on her hands and knees for
Speaker 1: hours to try to get the baby to roll over.
Speaker 1: Oh god, poor, It should be fine. It's actually gonna
Speaker 1: do like uh like I mean, I I am so
Speaker 1: oblivious to all of this birthing stuff, so welcome to
Speaker 1: the club. Is she gonna like take pain killers and
Speaker 1: stuff for the birth? I would imagine everyone does that nowadays, right,
Speaker 1: Like she's gonna pop a couple of as good to go.
Speaker 1: But you know, like there's something there's some people that
Speaker 1: are like I'm going on natural no pain killers, And
Speaker 1: every time I hear that, I mean, obviously I'll never
Speaker 1: experience out birth, so I can't imagine how bad it is.
Speaker 1: But I'm always like, why would you just take like
Speaker 1: the pain killers to alleviate the pain that you're about
Speaker 1: to go through? In actually is very excited to get
Speaker 1: the eperdoral which will be coming. Uh yeah, so I hope,
Speaker 1: you know, as long as everything goes smoothly, she won't
Speaker 1: feel a thing, which is very nice. Um, but but yeah,
Speaker 1: that's that's where we're at right now. So just kind
Speaker 1: of waiting for the baby to come. And so for
Speaker 1: for all of our faithful listeners out there for help,
Speaker 1: I secred dating. We imagine we're probably gonna be Jared
Speaker 1: lists for a couple of episodes, right or I mean,
Speaker 1: what you know, I really care about I only I
Speaker 1: care about Dawson, don't getting wrong. But what I really
Speaker 1: care about is your activity with this podcast. So this
Speaker 1: year for a couple of weeks, a couple of months,
Speaker 1: is this your official retirement? What's going on? I don't
Speaker 1: think so, because honestly, I'll just that's the That's what
Speaker 1: doesn't scare me. It's like, oh, I have to record
Speaker 1: by podcast. When I'm recording the podcast, will make sure
Speaker 1: that Ashley is on duty. And then when Ashley is
Speaker 1: recording the podcast, I'll be on duty, you know, Son,
Speaker 1: we can we get Dawson to h guest host this
Speaker 1: podcast with us at least. Yeah, I mean he might
Speaker 1: cry throughout it, so I guess we're gonna really find out,
Speaker 1: but we'll see. I mean, if there's anything like his mother,
Speaker 1: he will be crying seven on this podcast. Let's be
Speaker 1: honest with ourselves. I think him crying is um not
Speaker 1: a far step away from basically what we do every
Speaker 1: week on this podcast. Anyways. Yeah, I know, I almost
Speaker 1: feel bad for the poor kid. He's got like the blunt.
Speaker 1: I just hope he has like the good attributes of
Speaker 1: Ashley and Mine's personality, because when I think about like
Speaker 1: combining mine and Ashley's personality into one human being, it
Speaker 1: could be disastrous. Yeah, well, okay, let's think about let's
Speaker 1: let's formulate what that would be like real quick. If
Speaker 1: if if Dawson could take your best attributes and Ashley's
Speaker 1: best attributes, what would be like? I would definitely I
Speaker 1: hope he gets Ashley's um um. While I'm going to
Speaker 1: say the word improperly. God, this word island. Education has
Speaker 1: failed me once again. Tenaciousness. Oh yeah, tenacity, sure, tenacity,
Speaker 1: Thank you to nash What did I say something like that?
Speaker 1: I hope yeah, he gets Ashley's tenacity and her her
Speaker 1: belief in in in in accomplishing the things that she
Speaker 1: wants to accomplish. She's like very like, I'm going to
Speaker 1: do this, and I can do this, and I'm gonna
Speaker 1: go after it. And that's something she's really taught me.
Speaker 1: And I hope he gets that. And if I hope
Speaker 1: that he gets for me at least maybe uh uh
Speaker 1: patients his ability to maybe uh see multiple sides of
Speaker 1: of one particular issue, or see multiple perspectives, to have
Speaker 1: an understanding that maybe not everything in life is going
Speaker 1: to go your way, or uh you know how grateful
Speaker 1: we are to like have a roof over her head. Uh.
Speaker 1: So certain attributes like that I hope he gets. But
Speaker 1: also he could like just get severe anxiety from both
Speaker 1: of us and just not good. But is that the
Speaker 1: is that the worst thing you think you could pass
Speaker 1: down to him is your anxiety? Um? I don't know
Speaker 1: that's a good question. I don't even want to think
Speaker 1: about like passing down my worst qualities because because everybody,
Speaker 1: I mean every we're all in our own heads, so
Speaker 1: we know every thought that goes through this little brain
Speaker 1: of ours, some bigger than others my little brain, and um,
Speaker 1: it's not all roses, it's not all good things. So
Speaker 1: you know that, Like you have the capability of being
Speaker 1: like a sick person every once in a while, and
Speaker 1: so I'm like, I hope, like, I hope I don't
Speaker 1: pass that down to him, you know, but if he
Speaker 1: has anxiety, he's going to have the best to teachers
Speaker 1: to help him get through any moments. So we always
Speaker 1: are we always are the best teachers though, like when
Speaker 1: we when we have it, you know, have gone through
Speaker 1: things on our own, so you know, look at it.
Speaker 1: I appreciate that. I hope that's the case. I guess
Speaker 1: we're gonna find out, but we will definitely talk more
Speaker 1: about baby behavior coming on the way. But at least
Speaker 1: I do want to talk to you more. I want
Speaker 1: to answer some emails with you, and I also want
Speaker 1: to talk about a p underscore unwritten. Yeah, I want
Speaker 1: to find out more about that and what that's about,
Speaker 1: because I actually thought of something well reading about your
Speaker 1: book and I want to touch on it right after
Speaker 1: the break, stay tuned, welcome back to help I suck
Speaker 1: at dating, And like I talked about before the break, Analysea,
Speaker 1: I wanted to talk about your book ap Underscore Unwritten. UM,
Speaker 1: I know you've been working on it for quite some time,
Speaker 1: so tell us a little bit about it and what
Speaker 1: what we can expect and when we can expect it.
Speaker 1: So I'm so excited because this has been a labor
Speaker 1: of love, a total passion project that I've been hoping
Speaker 1: would come out sooner, but we finally. Uh, it's going
Speaker 1: to be out in February, so that's super exciting. It
Speaker 1: is a collection of my art and poetry that journeys
Speaker 1: through my neuro diversity, UM, body image, and then it's
Speaker 1: just love, heartbreak and healing. So I really they want
Speaker 1: to I just want this to be something to help
Speaker 1: people who are especially neuro divergent. I built it mostly
Speaker 1: for people who just think differently. And uh, and I'm
Speaker 1: actually I'm excited because I know the Elizabeth on Clayton season, Um,
Speaker 1: she suffers with a d h D and that was
Speaker 1: like quite a big topic I guess in Bachelor Nation recently. Um,
Speaker 1: so I'm excited to be like another voice of somebody
Speaker 1: who just has neuro diversities and is able to um
Speaker 1: to inform people on on this matter, but also to
Speaker 1: help people through there. Yeah, excuse me for my ignorance,
Speaker 1: but what is neurodiversity and do you just do you
Speaker 1: think differently? Um? So it's basically it's like the politically
Speaker 1: correct version of learning disabilities. It's like the new way
Speaker 1: of saying learning disability. Yeah, so I didn't know. I'm
Speaker 1: really excited to share it with everyone. It's um it's
Speaker 1: a little interactive. It's basically like an art journal kind
Speaker 1: of feel to it. And so I want people to
Speaker 1: be able to to write and draw and use their
Speaker 1: creativity to help them process things. And for me, being
Speaker 1: ner a divergent that has done something that's really been
Speaker 1: what has helped me like succeed as a person is
Speaker 1: my creativity and help me process things is being able
Speaker 1: to get my feelings down on paper through poetry, not
Speaker 1: just like how not just writing you know, I'm not
Speaker 1: good like writing in a journal, but being able to
Speaker 1: put it in kind of this um cryptic format sometimes
Speaker 1: is a much easier way for me to get my
Speaker 1: emotions out or to draw, and so I just, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm excited because I think that this is going
Speaker 1: to be helpful to a lot of people, and so
Speaker 1: like that's at the end of the day. I want
Speaker 1: somebody to feel seen. I want them to feel like
Speaker 1: like it's I've been thinking a lot about this thought
Speaker 1: of it inclusion lately, and I feel like I've always
Speaker 1: seen myself represented in you know, magazines, and like I've
Speaker 1: seen a white blonde girl, but I've I've never really
Speaker 1: known people that have narrow diversities, and so I've always
Speaker 1: felt super different. But I don't look different, so people
Speaker 1: don't ever you know what I mean. Like I just
Speaker 1: always feel like the dumb blonde but really there's so
Speaker 1: much more to me and and um, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I've gotten really fascinated with the brain recently,
Speaker 1: especially my brain and getting it studied next month. I'm
Speaker 1: so excited. Uh so that's going to be a fun
Speaker 1: little thing to look out for too. But um, yeah,
Speaker 1: we all just think differently and process things differently, and
Speaker 1: so I just want people to not feel alone and
Speaker 1: have another outlet to be able to process things. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's great. I wish that there was more celebration for
Speaker 1: the nearrow diversities. I've never heard it been called that before,
Speaker 1: but I like that a lot because think about if
Speaker 1: everyone in the world out the same way, like nothing
Speaker 1: would get accomplished. I think the celebration celebration of like
Speaker 1: the new diversities like learning impairments or le're just learning
Speaker 1: things differently and expressing it differently. It's like so important
Speaker 1: to It's like art and culture and innovation and all
Speaker 1: those things. So it's so so strange that it's like
Speaker 1: it's definitely been stigmatized, especially over the past few decades,
Speaker 1: but like it's so crucial and so important in so
Speaker 1: many ways, and I don't know enough about it. So
Speaker 1: I'm gonna like try to choose my words carefully, but
Speaker 1: it sounds it sounds like what you're doing is great,
Speaker 1: and uh, you know, of course it's all even like
Speaker 1: just talking about it, I think is so important. So
Speaker 1: props to you, kudas to you for getting a book
Speaker 1: out there about it too. I can't wait to get
Speaker 1: my hands on it. Uh do I get a sign copy?
Speaker 1: Do we get a signed copy here? That help I started?
Speaker 1: Or absolutely me? It'll be out in February. Um So
Speaker 1: follow my ap unwritten or analyts p for all the
Speaker 1: details on the exact date, because it's going to be
Speaker 1: a little bit of like a surprise launch. So it
Speaker 1: will be in February. Okay, very cool. I'll be looking
Speaker 1: forward to it. It's very exciting. Congratulations. That's awesome. Especially
Speaker 1: it's a book. I like the aspect of it not
Speaker 1: just being a book that you read, but a book
Speaker 1: that you interact with. Yeah. I'm a big big fan
Speaker 1: of picture. It's not a big fan of words personally. Same.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's always been really hard for me to
Speaker 1: get through a book, and so for me, I just
Speaker 1: wanted to create something that I felt like if I
Speaker 1: was getting it, I would read it, you know, like
Speaker 1: as a neuro divergent person, it's something that speaks to me.
Speaker 1: And so I feel like there's probably somebody else that's
Speaker 1: going to pick up this book and be able to
Speaker 1: get through it and be like, oh I got through
Speaker 1: a book, you know. So so that's kind of exciting
Speaker 1: to you said, your brain is getting studied. What is
Speaker 1: that entail? Uh? So there's this doctor in southern California
Speaker 1: that is going to be doing brain scans on me
Speaker 1: in March, and I'm like, this has been literally a
Speaker 1: manifestation of mine for a while because I had a
Speaker 1: team of like specialists that I was working with basically
Speaker 1: through my youth, UM hearing specialists, I specialists, UM all
Speaker 1: sorts of cognitive development, and I haven't had that support
Speaker 1: in such a long time. And I feel like, you know,
Speaker 1: with like the last couple of years especially, I've really
Speaker 1: struggled with feeling like getting my brain up to up
Speaker 1: to par because I'm not being supported in any sort
Speaker 1: of way and so, um, so I'm curious to just
Speaker 1: see how my brain has changed, how it's developed over
Speaker 1: the years, you know, with like anxiety, traumas, alcohol, like
Speaker 1: all of these things that I've had since I was
Speaker 1: tested as a child have really changed. So I'm curious
Speaker 1: to see where I'm at now. That's so crazy. It's
Speaker 1: insane that you're able to tell those things by a
Speaker 1: brain scan. I guess I'm so accustomed to like viewing
Speaker 1: the a lot of those things as feelings rather than
Speaker 1: something physical that you can extract data from. But no,
Speaker 1: that's in the brain and you might be a good
Speaker 1: for you. I'm very excited for the results of that.
Speaker 1: I hope you are willing to come back and help
Speaker 1: I second dating and share what the brain scan shows,
Speaker 1: because I'm absolutely gonna share it. I think for me,
Speaker 1: it's like my super hero. But I I really want
Speaker 1: to be able to know what I'm dealing with so
Speaker 1: that I can tap into it and use my brain
Speaker 1: for the best, you know, in the best way that
Speaker 1: I possibly can. But but so, a funny story about
Speaker 1: my hearing is that I don't hear certain sounds, and
Speaker 1: then there's other sounds that I hear at a very
Speaker 1: high frequency. So I used to be able to tap
Speaker 1: into conversations like across the room at a bar. Um.
Speaker 1: And when I was having my hearing tested. One time
Speaker 1: I had it was in a sound proof booth. I
Speaker 1: had the headphones on and I was like, I can't concentrate.
Speaker 1: I hear something. Um, So I walked around. I was
Speaker 1: hearing the elevator shaft going in the building and so um.
Speaker 1: I actually had the FBI recruit me twice because of
Speaker 1: my hero. That's like, that's my little fun fact. Yeah
Speaker 1: I know, uh yeah, So I mean I think it's
Speaker 1: really cool. I think the brain is fascinating. I think
Speaker 1: It's so cool that we all think differently and learn differently.
Speaker 1: And I just think, like I always felt like the
Speaker 1: dumb kid because I think differently and I'm not dumb,
Speaker 1: and so I think it's really it's so important for
Speaker 1: us to like celebrate our differences. And I think that's
Speaker 1: something that, like a society, we're all starting to do
Speaker 1: a little bit more of. But um, but I want
Speaker 1: to just keep pushing in and keep keep bringing awareness
Speaker 1: to it. So absolutely, um, Analyies, Well, thank you for
Speaker 1: sharing that with us. We're excited to see a p
Speaker 1: unwritten come out soon. Sounds like in a couple of weeks. Uh,
Speaker 1: the surprise drop as you called it. Thank you for
Speaker 1: guest co hosting with us. I know as the help
Speaker 1: I suck at dating. Listeners are out there probably thinking themselves, Wait,
Speaker 1: this episode can't be over because we love Analyze. Well,
Speaker 1: don't you, guys worries? Because we have two more episodes
Speaker 1: coming up with Analyse. Um, we're gonna wrap this episode
Speaker 1: up for now. Be sure to tune in on February
Speaker 1: one and then again on February three, because Analyze will
Speaker 1: be guest co hosting all those episodes with us. So um,
Speaker 1: thank you guys for listening Analyse. Thank you for sharing
Speaker 1: your journey and sharing a little bit more about your book.
Speaker 1: Like I said earlier, we're excited to have you keep
Speaker 1: guest co hosting with us, So thank you all for
Speaker 1: joining us. Be sure to tune in on February one,
Speaker 1: because maybe we're gonna suck just a little bit less.
Speaker 1: Follow help by Suck at Dating on I Heart Radio
Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to podcast