1 00:00:02,880 --> 00:00:04,880 Speaker 1: When it comes to the issue of race and gender, 2 00:00:04,920 --> 00:00:08,760 Speaker 1: when it comes to the issue of masculinity, there are 3 00:00:08,880 --> 00:00:12,799 Speaker 1: few people that hold more credentials on this subject matter 4 00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:18,880 Speaker 1: than my next guest. This is Gavin Newsom, and this 5 00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:23,520 Speaker 1: is Jackson Katz. You've got a new book coming out 6 00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:26,200 Speaker 1: at least overseas, and we'll see who comes out here. 7 00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:29,200 Speaker 1: It's called every Man. But I mean that's interesting. Obama 8 00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:31,640 Speaker 1: Renegade's Springsteen. So tell me a little bit more about that. 9 00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:33,960 Speaker 2: Well, yeah, my book was just published in the UK 10 00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:36,720 Speaker 2: in February, but it's coming out in September in the 11 00:00:36,800 --> 00:00:39,279 Speaker 2: United States the American version. It's called every Man, Why 12 00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:41,519 Speaker 2: violence against women is a men's issue and how you 13 00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:42,360 Speaker 2: can make a difference. 14 00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:44,959 Speaker 1: And Jack, just so for people that don't know you, 15 00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:47,800 Speaker 1: you've been at this issue, been talking about the issue 16 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:53,720 Speaker 1: of intersection between gender race violence for decades and decades. 17 00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:56,000 Speaker 1: I mean you've been in this space talking about the 18 00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:59,640 Speaker 1: issues of masculinity, what's happening to young men and the 19 00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:04,000 Speaker 1: relations between the sexes for twenty five plus years. 20 00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:06,280 Speaker 2: Right, Oh, yeah, since I was a college student really, 21 00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:07,440 Speaker 2: which is a long time ago. 22 00:01:07,560 --> 00:01:10,200 Speaker 1: And what what what what originally inspired all of this 23 00:01:10,319 --> 00:01:13,160 Speaker 1: and ultimately what inspired this book all these decades later, 24 00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:14,679 Speaker 1: building on what the work you've been doing. 25 00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:19,240 Speaker 2: Well, you know, as a young guy, and I was 26 00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:21,240 Speaker 2: a big, you know, athlete in high school. I was 27 00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:23,600 Speaker 2: an all star football player, and I was I came 28 00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:26,200 Speaker 2: from a blue collar family, you know. If my stepfather 29 00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:28,520 Speaker 2: was a truck driver and an army veteran of World 30 00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:31,840 Speaker 2: War Two. My father was a medic in Germany and 31 00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:33,720 Speaker 2: France in World War Two. I came from a family 32 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:36,920 Speaker 2: where you know, well, you know, it was a blue 33 00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:40,080 Speaker 2: collar family, and and and and yet education was a 34 00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:45,920 Speaker 2: big emphasis. And and when I was in college, I 35 00:01:45,959 --> 00:01:48,960 Speaker 2: started taking courses in subjects that related to you know, 36 00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:51,920 Speaker 2: gender and race and other things. And I was learning. 37 00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:53,760 Speaker 2: I thought I was smart when I was a young guy, 38 00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:56,040 Speaker 2: but I realized how little I knew, especially about how 39 00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:58,760 Speaker 2: other people lived, because I, you know, I came from 40 00:01:58,760 --> 00:02:03,040 Speaker 2: a kind of a white suburban background just north of Boston. 41 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:07,480 Speaker 2: And when I started taking classes on gender related topics 42 00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:10,480 Speaker 2: and started hearing about women's experiences of violence, and I 43 00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:14,280 Speaker 2: started seeing women organizing around the fear that they have 44 00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:16,560 Speaker 2: so often, especially at night, you know, because that was 45 00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:18,959 Speaker 2: the beginning of the take back to Night movement where 46 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:21,120 Speaker 2: women were marching to say, we have the right to 47 00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:23,959 Speaker 2: walk outside at night. And I remember thinking when I 48 00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:26,720 Speaker 2: saw these women, you know, sort of organizing for better 49 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:31,240 Speaker 2: lighting on campus, I remember thinking not that these women 50 00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:33,079 Speaker 2: hated men, but that they felt like they had the 51 00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:34,960 Speaker 2: right to walk across campus. And I felt like that 52 00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:37,160 Speaker 2: was what leadership looked like. I was inspired by it. 53 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:39,040 Speaker 2: I was a young student journalist at the time, and 54 00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:41,720 Speaker 2: I was inspired by women standing up and speaking up 55 00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:44,280 Speaker 2: for themselves, just as I was inspired by African Americans 56 00:02:44,320 --> 00:02:46,480 Speaker 2: and what we used to call, you know, the in 57 00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:48,640 Speaker 2: the gay what used to be called the gay rights movement, 58 00:02:48,639 --> 00:02:49,679 Speaker 2: which is now the LGBTK. 59 00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:52,600 Speaker 1: And just put us in context of what year, roughly 60 00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:53,600 Speaker 1: would we be talking. 61 00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:58,320 Speaker 2: About, Roughly around nineteen eighty, So it's like, you know, 62 00:02:58,639 --> 00:03:00,960 Speaker 2: I'm a little long in the two, but I've been 63 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:03,120 Speaker 2: doing this work so since I started speaking out then, 64 00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:06,320 Speaker 2: and because I had this background in traditional male culture 65 00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:11,919 Speaker 2: as a as an athlete and pretty successful, I knew 66 00:03:11,919 --> 00:03:13,880 Speaker 2: that I had a platform. I knew that people were 67 00:03:13,919 --> 00:03:16,680 Speaker 2: interested when I started saying, hey, you know, sexual assault 68 00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:19,040 Speaker 2: and domestic violence, this is wrong, guys, this is like 69 00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:21,320 Speaker 2: wrong and women should be able to shouldn't have to 70 00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:23,800 Speaker 2: worry constantly about their personal safety and how would you 71 00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:25,200 Speaker 2: feel if you were a woman, and how to live 72 00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:29,280 Speaker 2: like that? I remember thinking, why aren't more men saying 73 00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:31,040 Speaker 2: these things? Why aren't more men speaking out? Why is 74 00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:33,440 Speaker 2: it always you know, women having to organize and speak 75 00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:37,000 Speaker 2: out and push for, you know, reforms of the laws. 76 00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:39,040 Speaker 2: Why aren't men doing this? And I know most men 77 00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:41,280 Speaker 2: are not abusive, but yet most men don't speak out. 78 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:43,920 Speaker 2: And so because I knew I had a platform, I 79 00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:46,800 Speaker 2: started speaking out. And honestly, I'm doing today, Governor, what 80 00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:49,600 Speaker 2: I started doing as a you know, nineteen year old. 81 00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:52,280 Speaker 2: I always say my hair is a lot shorter, not 82 00:03:52,360 --> 00:03:55,520 Speaker 2: by choice, right, And I have nicer clothes than I 83 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:57,440 Speaker 2: did when I was a you know, a nineteen year 84 00:03:57,480 --> 00:04:00,320 Speaker 2: old guy. But it's the same message. And you know, 85 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:03,120 Speaker 2: my book every Man, you know why violence against women 86 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:04,840 Speaker 2: as a men's issue is like what I've been saying 87 00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:10,440 Speaker 2: for forty years. It's just because of my work and 88 00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:14,120 Speaker 2: other people's work and the way the culture moves. There's 89 00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:16,880 Speaker 2: you know, there's an energy now, there's a receptivity to 90 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:20,560 Speaker 2: talking about this, thinking about this. With the exception of 91 00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:23,000 Speaker 2: the backsliding that we're doing in our country right now, 92 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:27,839 Speaker 2: which is a really dramatic series of steps backwards. And 93 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:29,200 Speaker 2: you know, we can talk about that as well. 94 00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:31,880 Speaker 1: So what I mean when you look back forty years, 95 00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:33,599 Speaker 1: I mean, did you really feel like you were the 96 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:35,800 Speaker 1: lone voice back then? I mean, were there was there 97 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:39,200 Speaker 1: any organized movement or recognition or was there any political 98 00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:42,159 Speaker 1: leadership with men in this space to call out that 99 00:04:42,279 --> 00:04:45,800 Speaker 1: violence against women? Or is it primarily would you describe 100 00:04:45,839 --> 00:04:49,520 Speaker 1: as the feminist movement that was really organized behind the 101 00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:51,000 Speaker 1: women's rights in this space or. 102 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:54,280 Speaker 2: At least yeah, it was definitely a sort of multi racial, 103 00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:57,520 Speaker 2: multi ethnic feminist women led movement, and there was a 104 00:04:57,640 --> 00:04:59,479 Speaker 2: tiny number of men. I mean I was, you know, 105 00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:02,360 Speaker 2: I was kind of an early adapter as they would say, 106 00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:08,760 Speaker 2: or adopter, like when I was twenty. I mean, there 107 00:05:08,839 --> 00:05:11,440 Speaker 2: was not that many men doing this work, and now 108 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:14,800 Speaker 2: there are. I mean, there's no question that my work 109 00:05:14,839 --> 00:05:16,679 Speaker 2: and a lot of other people's work over the last 110 00:05:16,839 --> 00:05:19,320 Speaker 2: couple of generations has made a difference in terms of 111 00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:24,280 Speaker 2: normalizing this kind of conversation. But political leadership very limited. 112 00:05:24,320 --> 00:05:25,960 Speaker 2: I'm not saying it didn't exist, but it was very 113 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:29,599 Speaker 2: limited and in the public space, it was very unusual 114 00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:31,760 Speaker 2: to hear men talking about any of this subject matter. 115 00:05:31,839 --> 00:05:33,680 Speaker 1: And the fact that you started to say this is 116 00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:36,599 Speaker 1: a man's issue, I mean, what do you mean by that? 117 00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:41,880 Speaker 1: And how was that received by women that were expressing 118 00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:44,640 Speaker 1: themselves and leaders in the feminist movement? Was it well 119 00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:47,719 Speaker 1: received in that respect? Was it understood when you started 120 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:49,960 Speaker 1: talking initially about this being a man's issue? 121 00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:55,640 Speaker 2: Generally speaking? I would say yes, because what feminist leaders 122 00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:58,080 Speaker 2: were saying back then and they say this now, is 123 00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:00,839 Speaker 2: that the role for men who are really know, concerned 124 00:06:01,279 --> 00:06:03,880 Speaker 2: about these matters, which, by the way, all men should be. 125 00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:06,240 Speaker 2: It's not something that should be a specific to me 126 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:09,880 Speaker 2: or a small number of men yourself, but a lot 127 00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:11,880 Speaker 2: of the you know, a lot of the women leaders, 128 00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:15,400 Speaker 2: including Bell Hooks famously, the African American, the sadly late 129 00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:22,200 Speaker 2: African American feminist scholar and writer and activist, would say, 130 00:06:22,520 --> 00:06:24,760 Speaker 2: would she and others would say the proper role for 131 00:06:24,839 --> 00:06:27,839 Speaker 2: men in this work is to educate, organize, and politicize 132 00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:30,280 Speaker 2: other men. It's not to it's not to go in 133 00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:32,760 Speaker 2: and save women or even to work with women. It's 134 00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:35,920 Speaker 2: to go into male culture in every racial and ethnic 135 00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:38,360 Speaker 2: you know, community and every it's a global These are 136 00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:41,440 Speaker 2: global problems, not local problems. I mean they're manifest locally, 137 00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:44,200 Speaker 2: but their global problems. The proper role for men is 138 00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:47,160 Speaker 2: to is to like, yeah, with their guys, you know 139 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:49,400 Speaker 2: what I mean, like their their friends, their colleagues, their peers, 140 00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:52,279 Speaker 2: and adult men need to be providing much more over 141 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:55,760 Speaker 2: it and explicit leadership to young men. And if you 142 00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:57,440 Speaker 2: stay in that lane. In other words, I think that's 143 00:06:57,480 --> 00:06:59,159 Speaker 2: what women are asking. It's, by the way, it's very 144 00:06:59,160 --> 00:07:01,800 Speaker 2: similar to what people of color have been saying for 145 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:05,719 Speaker 2: white people who are whether you call them allies or collaborators. 146 00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:08,799 Speaker 2: It's like, you don't need white people going to black communities. 147 00:07:08,839 --> 00:07:11,760 Speaker 2: You need white people organizing white people and speaking out 148 00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:14,000 Speaker 2: and using the platform of influence that they have within 149 00:07:14,360 --> 00:07:18,840 Speaker 2: their own sort of you know, culture or spheres of influence. 150 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:21,520 Speaker 2: It's a simple concept. It's not even that complicated. 151 00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:24,200 Speaker 1: So you say, I mean for forty years you've been 152 00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:26,880 Speaker 1: at this and obviously there was you know, you've had 153 00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:29,720 Speaker 1: an incredibly successful career, had a lot of influence in 154 00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:33,280 Speaker 1: this space. But you referenced yourself that this is there 155 00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:36,119 Speaker 1: seems to be a door that's opening now in this space. 156 00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:38,080 Speaker 1: But they're also a door closing, and we'll get to 157 00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:41,440 Speaker 1: that in a minute in terms of some regression. But 158 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:43,920 Speaker 1: the door that's opening in terms of what consciousness in 159 00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:46,880 Speaker 1: the space, a recognition of the crisis of young men. 160 00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:49,880 Speaker 1: The political side of this, how do you describe from 161 00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:52,520 Speaker 1: Is it a policy framework that you see shifting or 162 00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:54,600 Speaker 1: political framework that's shifting. 163 00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:58,000 Speaker 2: It's both, I would say, I would say I would 164 00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:01,240 Speaker 2: say there's a shift in consciousness that's been happening over 165 00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:04,320 Speaker 2: the last couple of generations. Really it's not a really, 166 00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:07,120 Speaker 2: you know, brand new thing. I mean, whole generations of 167 00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:10,720 Speaker 2: men and young men have grown up with feminist mothers, 168 00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:13,640 Speaker 2: with women in the workplace as equals, with girls and 169 00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:17,720 Speaker 2: women sitting next to them in school, in the professional world. 170 00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:21,200 Speaker 2: I mean, my parents' generation didn't have those experiences. It 171 00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:24,040 Speaker 2: was much more sex segregated, and women were excluded from 172 00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:28,520 Speaker 2: mainstream sort of competition with men in so many areas. 173 00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:30,360 Speaker 2: But there's a whole generations of men who have come 174 00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:33,600 Speaker 2: of age in a way that it's been normalized, you know, 175 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:37,080 Speaker 2: and a lot of men have much more likely to 176 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:41,560 Speaker 2: have female friends and colleagues. And take that as just 177 00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:44,800 Speaker 2: obvious as opposed to something that some radical new, you know, 178 00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:49,120 Speaker 2: development that they have to adjust to. But at the 179 00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:51,200 Speaker 2: same time, I think there's a whole lot of men 180 00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:54,520 Speaker 2: who have done very little speaking out about men's violence 181 00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:58,040 Speaker 2: against women, and a lot of men get really uncomfortable 182 00:08:58,040 --> 00:08:59,520 Speaker 2: about this subject. And I think a lot of men, 183 00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:02,840 Speaker 2: including powerful men, who are really incredibly articulate about a 184 00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:05,440 Speaker 2: whole range of subjects, but when it comes to this subject, 185 00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:07,160 Speaker 2: they are like, oh my god, I don't I don't 186 00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:08,760 Speaker 2: want to go near this, or I don't know exactly 187 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:11,240 Speaker 2: what to say, or they become inarticulate. And so what 188 00:09:11,320 --> 00:09:13,760 Speaker 2: ends up happening for a lot of men, including powerful men, 189 00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:18,480 Speaker 2: I'm serious, Uh, what they'll do is they'll either remain 190 00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:20,640 Speaker 2: silent because they don't want to screw it up, or 191 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:23,520 Speaker 2: they're or they're just so uncomfortable, or they'll defer to 192 00:09:23,559 --> 00:09:27,319 Speaker 2: women and women's leadership. And I think on one level, fine, 193 00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:31,080 Speaker 2: we need to, we need to, you know, uplift women's leadership. 194 00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:34,520 Speaker 2: But in a sense that's that's not fair. It's not 195 00:09:34,559 --> 00:09:37,000 Speaker 2: what it's not why why is it women's responsibility? It 196 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:39,280 Speaker 2: should be men's. That's that's that's a way of hoisting 197 00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:41,679 Speaker 2: off of you know, putting onto women what should be 198 00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:43,880 Speaker 2: what men should be carrying, especially those of us who 199 00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:47,840 Speaker 2: have you know, cultural, political, economic, you know, power and influence. 200 00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:50,200 Speaker 2: And so I think, I think one of the big 201 00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:53,199 Speaker 2: challenges of our time is getting more men who are 202 00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:56,080 Speaker 2: already there in the sense that we're uncomfortable with other 203 00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:59,640 Speaker 2: men's abusive behavior. We don't like it, we know it 204 00:09:59,679 --> 00:10:02,040 Speaker 2: when we see it, but we don't either know what 205 00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:04,760 Speaker 2: to say or we feel uncomfortable around it and don't 206 00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:06,680 Speaker 2: know what to do, and so we retreat. And I think, 207 00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:08,440 Speaker 2: I think what we need to do is not that 208 00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:10,839 Speaker 2: we have to quote unquote convert the men who are 209 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:14,000 Speaker 2: the most deeply you know, misogynists and angry at women. 210 00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:15,920 Speaker 2: It's that we have to talk to men. I mean, 211 00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:17,319 Speaker 2: that would be a good thing, but I mean that's 212 00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:20,280 Speaker 2: not where I spend my time. I spend my time 213 00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:24,120 Speaker 2: with men who are already knows that, who already know 214 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:28,719 Speaker 2: that gender justice, gender equality, reducing gender based violence are 215 00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:31,640 Speaker 2: important things, but they don't really know how or what 216 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:35,400 Speaker 2: to do about it. My goal is to empower them 217 00:10:35,679 --> 00:10:38,840 Speaker 2: and to give them, both conceptually and practically the tools 218 00:10:39,679 --> 00:10:42,640 Speaker 2: to be better leaders. And to be better partners, be 219 00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:48,160 Speaker 2: better you know, fathers, uncles, you know, teachers, coaches, youth workers, 220 00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:50,719 Speaker 2: you know, religious leaders. There's so many men who are 221 00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:53,960 Speaker 2: good men in positions of influence, especially with young people, 222 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,800 Speaker 2: who could be doing so much more than they're doing 223 00:10:57,040 --> 00:10:57,720 Speaker 2: right now. 224 00:10:57,720 --> 00:11:01,080 Speaker 1: Contextualize the issue for and just sort of, you know, 225 00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:03,880 Speaker 1: bring us in a little bit on you know, one 226 00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:06,959 Speaker 1: of the trend lines we've seen in the last few decades. 227 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,600 Speaker 1: I mean, when you started this work, was sort of 228 00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:13,760 Speaker 1: was that an apex of the anxiety in this space? 229 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:17,079 Speaker 1: Was it? Was there just little data, a little research 230 00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:21,520 Speaker 1: in this space. Are we seeing a diminution and violence 231 00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:26,160 Speaker 1: perpetrated against or against women? Are we seeing a return 232 00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:30,440 Speaker 1: to a little more misogyny? And has it been impacted 233 00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:34,800 Speaker 1: by culture? Social media, has been impacted even by our 234 00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:35,640 Speaker 1: politics today. 235 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:38,040 Speaker 2: All of that, I think, I think you've touched on 236 00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:42,160 Speaker 2: a whole bunch of really important developments. It's a complicated thing, 237 00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:44,839 Speaker 2: like social change itself is really complicated. So we're making 238 00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:48,200 Speaker 2: all kinds of forward progress. There's reforms in the laws, 239 00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:53,240 Speaker 2: There's a level of consciousness that seeps through, whether it's 240 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:57,440 Speaker 2: through the education system, through media. There's so many powerful 241 00:11:57,440 --> 00:12:01,360 Speaker 2: and empowered women that are vocal and thoughtful around this 242 00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:05,920 Speaker 2: subject matter to a lesser extent men. But at the 243 00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:09,880 Speaker 2: same time, yes, we have had an enormous backlash against 244 00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:11,640 Speaker 2: some of this progress, and I think, honestly, I think 245 00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:14,760 Speaker 2: right wing populism in the United States and in Europe 246 00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:16,760 Speaker 2: and other parts of the world. But a big part 247 00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:20,040 Speaker 2: of it that doesn't get enough sort of discussion is 248 00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:25,040 Speaker 2: that it's not just resistance to racial integration and immigration 249 00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:28,880 Speaker 2: and the increasing you know, sort of racial and ethnic 250 00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:32,920 Speaker 2: heterogeneity of some of these societies that had previously been 251 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:35,160 Speaker 2: pretty white. That's a part of it I'm saying. I mean, 252 00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:38,040 Speaker 2: part of it, clearly is right wing populism feeds on 253 00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:42,000 Speaker 2: that energy, that sort of racial grievance. But I think 254 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:45,280 Speaker 2: it's also a lot of men who are really put 255 00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:49,800 Speaker 2: off by and decentered by feminism and by the LGBTQ revolution, 256 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:55,960 Speaker 2: which decenters sort of heteronormative heterosexual men in particular, And 257 00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:58,480 Speaker 2: I think that has to be part of the conversation. 258 00:12:58,559 --> 00:13:00,840 Speaker 2: I mean trump Ism, for example, me trump Ism is 259 00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:05,600 Speaker 2: so much of that is about not just white backlash, 260 00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:13,280 Speaker 2: but white male backlash against forward progress by by by women. Basically, 261 00:13:14,559 --> 00:13:19,400 Speaker 2: and this is tricky stuff because you know, can I 262 00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:21,200 Speaker 2: also say I also, I think it's really important that 263 00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:23,480 Speaker 2: I say. People like me who have been doing the 264 00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:26,319 Speaker 2: work that I and we have been doing, have long 265 00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:29,680 Speaker 2: made the connection between men's violence against women, men's violence 266 00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:33,240 Speaker 2: against other men, and men's violence against themselves, because you know, 267 00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:36,360 Speaker 2: suicide is violence turned inward. So the idea that sometimes 268 00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:38,520 Speaker 2: men will say, well, well you talk about violence against women, yo, okay, 269 00:13:38,520 --> 00:13:40,480 Speaker 2: what about violence against men? You know you'll hear this, 270 00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:42,960 Speaker 2: And I write about this in my book, of course, 271 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:46,120 Speaker 2: because this is so predictable. It's like, well, I've thought 272 00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:47,880 Speaker 2: about that. Of course, we've all thought about we all 273 00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:50,880 Speaker 2: understand this. My friend Michael Kaufman, who's the co founder 274 00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:53,319 Speaker 2: of the White Ribbon Campaign, which is the largest global 275 00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:56,080 Speaker 2: movement of men working to end men's violence against women. 276 00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:58,760 Speaker 2: It's in like sixty something countries and it's a great thing. 277 00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:01,480 Speaker 2: It started after the Montreal men massacre in nineteen eighty nine, 278 00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:04,200 Speaker 2: where a man, a twenty five year old man, lined 279 00:14:04,240 --> 00:14:07,040 Speaker 2: up fourteen women in the Institute of Technology and murdered 280 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:10,360 Speaker 2: them in cold blood. This is in nineteen eighty nine, 281 00:14:10,679 --> 00:14:13,920 Speaker 2: and he left a suicide note that said feminists, you know, 282 00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:16,240 Speaker 2: blaming feminists for having ruined his life, and he was 283 00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:18,280 Speaker 2: going to take revenge. Well, a group of men created 284 00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:21,280 Speaker 2: the White Ribbon campaign, which is this big public display 285 00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:23,200 Speaker 2: two years later where a man, you know, at the 286 00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:27,480 Speaker 2: end of November every year, men wear white ribbons, Michael 287 00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:29,440 Speaker 2: to say that they're not going to condone men's violence 288 00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:31,840 Speaker 2: against women, be silent in the face of it. Michael 289 00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:34,720 Speaker 2: Kaufman wrote this essay in nineteen eighty seven where he 290 00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:37,760 Speaker 2: connected men's violence against women to men's violence against other men, 291 00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:40,920 Speaker 2: to men's violence against themselves because they're all connected, and 292 00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:44,320 Speaker 2: so no thoughtful person in the twenty first centuries who's 293 00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:48,600 Speaker 2: looking at men's violence against women fails to see that 294 00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:52,000 Speaker 2: all kinds of other things in men's lives are also connected. 295 00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:54,240 Speaker 2: In addition, by the way, look at all the men, 296 00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:57,600 Speaker 2: I mean, who have women in our lives who have 297 00:14:57,600 --> 00:14:59,840 Speaker 2: been assaulted by other men. Who look at all the 298 00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:02,960 Speaker 2: men adult men who have you know, partner partnered with 299 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:05,760 Speaker 2: women who are sexual assault survivors or domestic mind and 300 00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:06,720 Speaker 2: full disclosure. 301 00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:09,080 Speaker 1: You know, well, my wife who's been very vocal about that, 302 00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:12,800 Speaker 1: and I am what occurred with Harvey Weinstein. 303 00:15:12,920 --> 00:15:15,880 Speaker 2: She has been, and she's been an incredible brave leader 304 00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:18,560 Speaker 2: on this subject. And I love her leadership on this 305 00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:21,440 Speaker 2: and her bravery, and I love working with her on 306 00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:25,360 Speaker 2: these matters absolutely. But I'm saying there's so much I 307 00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:27,440 Speaker 2: don't know what your point. Yes, I don't know any 308 00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:28,640 Speaker 2: man who doesn't have women, So. 309 00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:31,400 Speaker 1: I imagine you go to audiences all the time and 310 00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:33,840 Speaker 1: just ask people to raise their hand. 311 00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:36,320 Speaker 2: Or or or yes or just in terms of my 312 00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:39,360 Speaker 2: social networks and the people that I know, I mean, 313 00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:41,800 Speaker 2: I'm I'm surprised if I meet a man who doesn't 314 00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:43,920 Speaker 2: have women in his life who have been assaulted by 315 00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:47,240 Speaker 2: other men. It's it's not some esoteric subject matter that 316 00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:48,920 Speaker 2: affects some small. 317 00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:50,720 Speaker 1: Is it getting worse? Is it getting better? 318 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:57,080 Speaker 2: Again? It's a complicated question. I think we've made enormous 319 00:15:57,080 --> 00:16:00,800 Speaker 2: progress until the current regime, and the level we've made 320 00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:07,200 Speaker 2: enormous progress. 321 00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:09,480 Speaker 1: I'm curious. I mean, you just you just put out 322 00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:12,000 Speaker 1: a report that can really quantify that in terms of 323 00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:16,200 Speaker 1: research dollars that are rolling back. Obviously, advocacy in the 324 00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:18,440 Speaker 1: DEI space, which is not I think so much of 325 00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:22,280 Speaker 1: what people focus on DEI is around racial issues, but 326 00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:25,520 Speaker 1: A big part of the movement was a gender issues 327 00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:29,040 Speaker 1: and obviously that's that's under assault. But what else I 328 00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:33,120 Speaker 1: mean is the actual statistics in terms of acts of 329 00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:37,320 Speaker 1: violence perpetuated against women. Is that increasing, decreasing or is 330 00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:40,240 Speaker 1: those research dollars drying up? And we're going to finally 331 00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:41,880 Speaker 1: not really have any understanding of that. 332 00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:45,800 Speaker 2: All of the above, I would I would say we 333 00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:48,960 Speaker 2: have been making progress. There have been some there has 334 00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:50,920 Speaker 2: been some data that showed that we have been making 335 00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:53,520 Speaker 2: progress over the past, you know, twenty five thirty years 336 00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:56,400 Speaker 2: in reducing the incidents of domestic and sexual violence. But 337 00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:59,600 Speaker 2: the flip side is you don't know fully because of 338 00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:02,960 Speaker 2: the vast majority has never reported. And then when you're 339 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:06,840 Speaker 2: effective at raising consciousness, when you're effective at providing services 340 00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:09,119 Speaker 2: to victims and survivors, when you create an environment in 341 00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:13,080 Speaker 2: an institutional setting, whether it's in a corporation or obviously 342 00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:14,960 Speaker 2: in a school or some other in the military or 343 00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:17,720 Speaker 2: at some other setting, if you create an environment where 344 00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:22,159 Speaker 2: people feel comfortable coming forward to access services or to 345 00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:24,239 Speaker 2: say that this has happened to them, then they're going 346 00:17:24,280 --> 00:17:26,160 Speaker 2: to come forward. But if you create an environment where 347 00:17:26,840 --> 00:17:31,040 Speaker 2: the institution is non responsive, then they're going to remain silent. 348 00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:33,600 Speaker 2: And so when all these programs are being cut, one 349 00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:36,640 Speaker 2: of the effects is people won't come forward because they'll 350 00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:39,399 Speaker 2: be scared that or they'll be doing a cost benefit 351 00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:41,320 Speaker 2: analysis they'll say, you know what, it's not worth it 352 00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:44,040 Speaker 2: because why why do I want to be re injured 353 00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:47,439 Speaker 2: by the system not being responsive to my needs and 354 00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:51,040 Speaker 2: put myself even more in more position of vulnerability. So 355 00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:54,520 Speaker 2: it's complicated in terms of the back and forth. But 356 00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:56,840 Speaker 2: also I do have to say the social media is 357 00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:59,240 Speaker 2: sort of the digital revolution has created a whole new 358 00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:04,199 Speaker 2: set of challenges. It's also created new possibilities obviously for 359 00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:07,800 Speaker 2: connection and for solidarity and community and people connecting with 360 00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:11,080 Speaker 2: each other from their isolated, you know, silos. There's no 361 00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:13,639 Speaker 2: question that it's a mixed bag in terms of this 362 00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:17,919 Speaker 2: subject matter. But the porn culture, the pervasiveness of like 363 00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:21,239 Speaker 2: deeply misogynous, the complication. 364 00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:23,239 Speaker 1: Of women, the objects ownership. 365 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:25,520 Speaker 2: Yes, and the complete sexual degradation of women in the 366 00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:28,960 Speaker 2: mainstream porn culture that a lot of young people growing 367 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:31,240 Speaker 2: up with it are seeing that as normal. They're not 368 00:18:31,280 --> 00:18:33,480 Speaker 2: they're not seeing this as like some oh my god, 369 00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:38,600 Speaker 2: some radical you know, uh, you know, new development. They're 370 00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:40,679 Speaker 2: more like, this is what sex is supposed to look like. 371 00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:44,879 Speaker 2: It's it's some of it's just incredibly abusive and cruel. 372 00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:47,720 Speaker 2: We're not talking about sexual expression here. We're talking about 373 00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:52,080 Speaker 2: cruelty and misogyny enshrined in the sexual act. And a 374 00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:54,119 Speaker 2: lot of young guys, I mean, who think that that's 375 00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:56,359 Speaker 2: supposed to be that's normal. What ends up happening in 376 00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:58,320 Speaker 2: some of these relationships is guys are doing things to 377 00:18:58,359 --> 00:19:01,840 Speaker 2: women like in heterosexual relationships, non consensually. They're you know, 378 00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:04,920 Speaker 2: they're starting to strangle them during you know, consensual non 379 00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:08,760 Speaker 2: consensual strangulation during consensual sex and things, thinking that it's 380 00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:14,680 Speaker 2: normal and it's unbelievable. Have you seen adolescens? 381 00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:16,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, I didn't have the guts. I mean, I back 382 00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:19,080 Speaker 1: to my wife Jen, she wanted me to see it, 383 00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:22,480 Speaker 1: and I did the opening scene, realizing the depths of it. 384 00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:23,879 Speaker 1: As a father, you know, I've. 385 00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:25,960 Speaker 2: Got I mean at this age, right. 386 00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:28,560 Speaker 1: I mean, I've got We've got four young kids, two 387 00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:32,200 Speaker 1: boys and uh and social media is just encroaching upon 388 00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:33,840 Speaker 1: their lives and our lives. 389 00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:36,520 Speaker 2: And it found way well I appreciate that, and I 390 00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:38,879 Speaker 2: and I'm going to say this is a spoiler alert. 391 00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:41,320 Speaker 2: But but I have to say that the main actor, 392 00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:43,760 Speaker 2: or one of the one of the main actors, Stephen Graham, 393 00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:47,560 Speaker 2: the British actor, who is also the uh one of 394 00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:50,840 Speaker 2: the creators and the co writer of the piece, brilliant. 395 00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:53,800 Speaker 2: This guy is brilliant, right, I mean he talks about 396 00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:55,840 Speaker 2: this publicly. He talks about it on Jimmy Fallon. So 397 00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:58,080 Speaker 2: I'm not giving away something that isn't like a mainstream 398 00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:01,320 Speaker 2: sort of you know, uh sort of plot point, but 399 00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:02,920 Speaker 2: one of the I think one of the most powerful 400 00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:04,600 Speaker 2: things about the story and one of the reasons why 401 00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:06,679 Speaker 2: I caught on so much. I mean caught on like 402 00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:08,159 Speaker 2: in the way that I think it might be the 403 00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:11,720 Speaker 2: biggest Netflix uh my success ever and in the UK 404 00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:14,959 Speaker 2: something like half the population I've seen the thing. Okay, Anyways, 405 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:18,479 Speaker 2: the point is the storyline about the father and his 406 00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:22,680 Speaker 2: feelings of failure for having failed to protect his son, 407 00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:25,199 Speaker 2: and he thought he was doing a good job. In 408 00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:27,919 Speaker 2: other words, this was a you know, a heterosexual, heteronormai family, 409 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:30,639 Speaker 2: blue collar family. He's a plumber, thought that he was 410 00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:32,240 Speaker 2: doing what his father didn't do for. 411 00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:35,520 Speaker 1: Him and and just just quickly it's a thirteen year 412 00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:36,240 Speaker 1: old kid. 413 00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:40,560 Speaker 2: Thirteen year old boy who is who murders his classmate? 414 00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:45,160 Speaker 2: And and what's in the background of the whole piece. 415 00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:47,760 Speaker 2: They don't really foreground it, but it's certainly always there 416 00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,760 Speaker 2: is the manisphere, the misogynist manisphere. That's the Andrew Tait 417 00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:54,760 Speaker 2: world where this young boy had been in his room, 418 00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:57,240 Speaker 2: so his parents thought he was safe. He's in his room, 419 00:20:57,359 --> 00:21:00,479 Speaker 2: he's you know, he's there. They're doing their job, and 420 00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:03,240 Speaker 2: meanwhile he was immersed in that whole world. The reason 421 00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:06,000 Speaker 2: why I think that so many people resonate with this film, 422 00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:08,160 Speaker 2: including man and myself. I'm a father of a son. 423 00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:11,000 Speaker 2: I have a young son. You know, he's in his twenties, 424 00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:14,119 Speaker 2: but he's, you know, young young guy. I think it 425 00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:16,760 Speaker 2: resonated with a lot of men because of the father's 426 00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:20,560 Speaker 2: pain and how badly he felt he had let down 427 00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:22,800 Speaker 2: his son, as well as of course the girl and 428 00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:25,480 Speaker 2: her family because she was the primary victim. 429 00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:27,960 Speaker 1: No, I mean it's look, I mean it well, it 430 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:30,720 Speaker 1: speaks with unpacking all of that, and I want to 431 00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:32,760 Speaker 1: get back to this mano sphere and I think, I mean, 432 00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:35,080 Speaker 1: you alluded to it in the context of social media, 433 00:21:35,320 --> 00:21:37,560 Speaker 1: but even unpacking that a little bit. You've made a 434 00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:40,119 Speaker 1: point and reinforced a point today in a report you 435 00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:44,359 Speaker 1: just put out that there is now a big setback. 436 00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:44,840 Speaker 2: In this space. 437 00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:48,960 Speaker 1: I mean there's a very intentional, organized effort now with 438 00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:53,320 Speaker 1: the current administration, the Trump administration, to vandalize a lot 439 00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:54,520 Speaker 1: of the progress in the space. 440 00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:58,360 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yes, and it's disgraceful. Let me just say, I'll 441 00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:01,000 Speaker 2: just use that word. It's disgraceful and it's harmful to women, 442 00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:03,080 Speaker 2: but it's also harmful to men. I'll give you an 443 00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:06,240 Speaker 2: example the military. I've been working with the military. I 444 00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:09,360 Speaker 2: created the first gender violence prevention program in the United 445 00:22:09,359 --> 00:22:11,960 Speaker 2: States Department of Defense nineteen ninety seven. We started out 446 00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:15,800 Speaker 2: in the Marine Corps. And I and my colleagues have 447 00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:18,000 Speaker 2: been working in that space for a long time, twenty 448 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:20,040 Speaker 2: seven years or something. And there's all these great people, 449 00:22:20,359 --> 00:22:24,360 Speaker 2: men and women, and you know, uniform military and DoD civilians. 450 00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:27,440 Speaker 2: And I was on the US Secretary Secretary of Defense 451 00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:29,520 Speaker 2: Task Force on Domestic Violence in the Military. This is 452 00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:31,800 Speaker 2: back in two thousand. I mean, there have been so 453 00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:37,080 Speaker 2: many different talented people, including uniform military leaders, who are 454 00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:39,480 Speaker 2: on board with knowing how important it is to talk 455 00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:43,080 Speaker 2: about this stuff. To have programming to create it's for 456 00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:46,760 Speaker 2: morale purposes, for mission readiness purposes, for all these reasons. 457 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:50,200 Speaker 2: Having this kind of educational process within the military space 458 00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:53,680 Speaker 2: is really important, and it's being all just radically cut back, 459 00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:57,159 Speaker 2: and it's just it's absolutely disgraceful. And I'm saying this 460 00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:59,439 Speaker 2: as somebody who's been working in that space. And if 461 00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:01,719 Speaker 2: anybody thinks that it's somehow anti mail, this is what 462 00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:04,119 Speaker 2: this is the subtext of all this, right, that somehow 463 00:23:04,119 --> 00:23:07,000 Speaker 2: it's anti mail to like talk about sexual assault or 464 00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:10,359 Speaker 2: domestic violence. This is BS. This is byes. 465 00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:13,320 Speaker 1: They frame it in the wokesm just more woke. 466 00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:15,960 Speaker 2: BS right and there and there and that's and I'll 467 00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:18,679 Speaker 2: call BS on that because there's so many good people, 468 00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:21,520 Speaker 2: including really powerful men in that space. I mean, I've 469 00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:24,760 Speaker 2: worked with so many powerful military leaders from the from 470 00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:27,119 Speaker 2: the you know generals and colonels and admirals at the 471 00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:30,000 Speaker 2: highest level of you know authority. But also like when 472 00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:31,560 Speaker 2: I started in the Marine, working in the in the 473 00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:34,960 Speaker 2: Marine Corps, we were working with it was called a 474 00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:37,720 Speaker 2: Sergeant's Major Initiative. It was an enlisted leadership initiative. We 475 00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:40,960 Speaker 2: were training sergeants. These are these are generally men. In 476 00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:42,720 Speaker 2: you know, the Marine Corps about ninety four percent male, 477 00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:44,760 Speaker 2: so there are women, but it's very much a male 478 00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:48,960 Speaker 2: dominated space. Let's be clear. Most of the you know 479 00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:51,840 Speaker 2: sergeants are in their twenties and they work directly with 480 00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:54,480 Speaker 2: the young troops, these you know, the eighteen nineteen, twenty 481 00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:57,480 Speaker 2: year old troops, and so providing the leadership, providing the 482 00:23:57,560 --> 00:24:00,800 Speaker 2: leadership training for them for how they can leadership to 483 00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:03,760 Speaker 2: the younger troops. This is to me such a basic thing. 484 00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:06,800 Speaker 2: It should be. It should be not only should it 485 00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:09,880 Speaker 2: not be rolled back, it should be expanded and deepened. 486 00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:12,720 Speaker 2: And it's what's happening is the exact opposite. Under the 487 00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:17,080 Speaker 2: name of supposedly caring about warrior culture, this is just 488 00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:20,720 Speaker 2: total bs. And I think under the name of anti wokeism, 489 00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:23,080 Speaker 2: some of the most some of the most forward thinking 490 00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:28,240 Speaker 2: and and sort of useful educational and other consciousness, you know, 491 00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:33,040 Speaker 2: shifting strategies over the last generation are being undermined. 492 00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:35,720 Speaker 1: And you've seen this happening also in sports, because I 493 00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:37,600 Speaker 1: know you've been not just working a military but you've 494 00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:41,360 Speaker 1: represented a lot of good work in many different venues 495 00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:43,240 Speaker 1: as it related to athletics as well. 496 00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:45,920 Speaker 2: Well again, the program that I created, the Mentors and 497 00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:49,360 Speaker 2: Violence Prevention Program MVP, was the first nineteen ninety three 498 00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:51,359 Speaker 2: at a place called the Center for the Study of 499 00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:55,560 Speaker 2: Sport in Society. That's an institute that was created by 500 00:24:55,680 --> 00:24:58,280 Speaker 2: Richard Lapchick, doctor Richard Lapschick, who's a pioneer of combining 501 00:24:58,359 --> 00:25:00,920 Speaker 2: sport and civil rights activism. Father. There was Joe Lapchick, 502 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:04,040 Speaker 2: one of the pioneering players and coaches in the NBA, 503 00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:06,720 Speaker 2: who was a white guy. Joe Lapchick, He's in the 504 00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:08,280 Speaker 2: Hall of Fame. I mean, this is an NBA guy. 505 00:25:08,359 --> 00:25:10,240 Speaker 2: He ended up as the coach of the New York Knicks, 506 00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:11,880 Speaker 2: and he was the coach of the Saint John's men's 507 00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:14,919 Speaker 2: basketball team. This is the father. He was also a 508 00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:17,199 Speaker 2: white guy who was for racial integration, way ahead of 509 00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:19,920 Speaker 2: the curve. The son was an activist, like a sixties 510 00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:23,480 Speaker 2: era activist who wasn't an elite athlete, but he was 511 00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:26,720 Speaker 2: passionate about civil rights and sports. And he created this 512 00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:30,000 Speaker 2: institute in nineteen ninety In nineteen eighty four, and I, 513 00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:33,400 Speaker 2: as a graduate student in Boston, came over to his 514 00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:37,320 Speaker 2: institute pitching the program to train college male student athletes 515 00:25:37,359 --> 00:25:39,280 Speaker 2: to speak out on these matters. This is in nineteen 516 00:25:39,359 --> 00:25:42,280 Speaker 2: ninety three, and my thinking was not that there was 517 00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:45,040 Speaker 2: a problem in athletics of male athletes assoulting women, although 518 00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:47,679 Speaker 2: there was such a problem and continues to be. My 519 00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:50,400 Speaker 2: thinking was, where are we going to find young men 520 00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:53,919 Speaker 2: who have the status, the self confidence, and the platform 521 00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:57,400 Speaker 2: of influence to break the silence among men and young men, 522 00:25:57,480 --> 00:26:00,160 Speaker 2: Because I was thinking, lots of guys are uncomfortable with 523 00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:03,480 Speaker 2: abusive behavior and misogyny around them, but they don't speak up. 524 00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:05,600 Speaker 2: As I was saying earlier, so we need more men 525 00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:08,359 Speaker 2: who have already have some confidence because it takes guts. 526 00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:10,000 Speaker 2: One of the reasons why guys don't speak up on 527 00:26:10,040 --> 00:26:12,960 Speaker 2: these matters is it takes guts, it takes strength, it 528 00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:16,080 Speaker 2: takes self confidence. And not just twenty year olds, but 529 00:26:16,119 --> 00:26:18,280 Speaker 2: for fifty year olds. A lot of men get a 530 00:26:18,280 --> 00:26:20,600 Speaker 2: little they're anxious, and you know what they're anxious about. 531 00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:23,040 Speaker 2: They're anxious about other men, and they're anxious that other 532 00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:25,520 Speaker 2: men are going to think that somehow they're soft or weak. 533 00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:28,119 Speaker 2: And it drives me. I have to say, it drives 534 00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:33,160 Speaker 2: me crazy because I watch on people on the right 535 00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:37,240 Speaker 2: mock and ridicule men who speak out about domestic violence 536 00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:41,000 Speaker 2: or sexual assault. Joe Rogan, Jordan Peterson, These people mock 537 00:26:41,119 --> 00:26:43,679 Speaker 2: and ridicule. Andrew Tate is even more exaggerated in what 538 00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:46,320 Speaker 2: he in how he mocks, in ridicules men who stand 539 00:26:46,359 --> 00:26:49,440 Speaker 2: for gender equality and gender justice, as if we're somehow 540 00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:52,720 Speaker 2: soft and weak. And I often say, and I so 541 00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:54,760 Speaker 2: appreciate the opportunity to say this to you here in 542 00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:58,640 Speaker 2: this in this setting, if you're a guy, being one 543 00:26:58,680 --> 00:27:02,440 Speaker 2: of the guys takes nothing special whatsoever. Just going along 544 00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:05,199 Speaker 2: with you boys, It's like that takes nothing special. What 545 00:27:05,320 --> 00:27:07,159 Speaker 2: takes something special if you're a guy, is turning to 546 00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:08,960 Speaker 2: your friends and saying, hey, dude, that's not cool. The 547 00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:10,920 Speaker 2: way we don't do shit like you know, we don't 548 00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:13,280 Speaker 2: do stuff like that here, yeah, or we don't treat 549 00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:15,080 Speaker 2: women like that, or that's not you're my friend, But 550 00:27:15,119 --> 00:27:17,920 Speaker 2: the way you're talking to your girlfriend, I'm concerned. That's 551 00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:21,159 Speaker 2: not cool, dude. That takes so much more strength and 552 00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:24,120 Speaker 2: guts and self confidence. And yet the guy who does 553 00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:26,560 Speaker 2: who says it is a is a beta, is a 554 00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:30,240 Speaker 2: woos is a soy boy, is a virtue signaler, and 555 00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:33,200 Speaker 2: so many young guys have grown up in a media environment, 556 00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:38,040 Speaker 2: a social media environment where like me, I know that's 557 00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:40,120 Speaker 2: what's going to happen is when people watch this, there's 558 00:27:40,119 --> 00:27:42,960 Speaker 2: gonna be people that, who's that, who's that? Beta. It's 559 00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:46,480 Speaker 2: just so embarrassing to me because it's like literally the 560 00:27:46,520 --> 00:27:49,880 Speaker 2: opposite of the truth, right And so anyways, that's why 561 00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:52,119 Speaker 2: I started working with in the athletic subculture. And my 562 00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:54,560 Speaker 2: program was the first large scale program in college athletics, 563 00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:56,800 Speaker 2: and that was the first program in professional and I 564 00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:58,400 Speaker 2: have to say, you know who are first the first 565 00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:01,440 Speaker 2: team we work with in professional athletics, New England Patriots. 566 00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:03,480 Speaker 2: And then and then we work with the Red Sox 567 00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:05,640 Speaker 2: because you know, we're in Boston, right, So we had 568 00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:07,399 Speaker 2: the Patriots in the Red Sox and at one point 569 00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:10,720 Speaker 2: the Patriots had won like three out of the first 570 00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:12,560 Speaker 2: like five years we were working with them. The Patriots 571 00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:14,479 Speaker 2: had won the Super Bowl and the Red Sox had 572 00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:15,960 Speaker 2: won the World Series for the first time in eighty 573 00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:18,480 Speaker 2: six years right after they started working with us. And 574 00:28:18,520 --> 00:28:20,440 Speaker 2: so I said, I would always say, as a laugh line, 575 00:28:20,440 --> 00:28:23,880 Speaker 2: I would say, you know what about the Yankees, I'm sure, 576 00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:26,879 Speaker 2: well that's true. Well, that's true but but it was 577 00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:29,439 Speaker 2: even more self serving, I said, I said, you know, 578 00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:31,919 Speaker 2: I'm not going to claim that the Red Sox and 579 00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:34,840 Speaker 2: the patriots working with us was the reason why they 580 00:28:34,840 --> 00:28:38,440 Speaker 2: won incredible championships. But you can't prove disprove it either. 581 00:28:38,920 --> 00:28:39,040 Speaker 1: Wi. 582 00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:50,920 Speaker 3: Hi am Anthony Scaramucci, former White House Director of Communications 583 00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:53,760 Speaker 3: and Wall Street financier. You might have caught me on 584 00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:57,080 Speaker 3: a recent episode of This is Gavin Newsom. If you 585 00:28:57,240 --> 00:28:59,520 Speaker 3: like that, I think you'll enjoy my own podcast, The 586 00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:03,840 Speaker 3: Rest Is Politics US. Alongside journalist Caddy k we go 587 00:29:03,960 --> 00:29:06,840 Speaker 3: behind the scenes of politics, from the chaos of the 588 00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:10,960 Speaker 3: West Wing to the forces shaping the world's most powerful economy. 589 00:29:11,160 --> 00:29:13,880 Speaker 3: I was in the Trump White House for eleven wild 590 00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:17,120 Speaker 3: days and Caddy's been reporting on US politics for nearly 591 00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:21,520 Speaker 3: thirty years. We bring sharp insight, real stories, and maybe 592 00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:24,920 Speaker 3: a few secrets you haven't heard before. Search The Rest 593 00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:27,560 Speaker 3: Is Politics US wherever you get your podcasts. 594 00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:28,560 Speaker 2: Hope to see you over there. 595 00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:32,720 Speaker 1: So back to the manospeare because you mentioned Joe Rogan, 596 00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:37,880 Speaker 1: you mentioned Joe Peterson, obviously mentioned Andrew Tay, who you know, 597 00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:40,960 Speaker 1: respectfully need not be mentioned much. I mean he's I 598 00:29:41,040 --> 00:29:46,800 Speaker 1: mean even by extreme standards. He's a unique spectrum. That said, 599 00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:49,920 Speaker 1: he's also been embraced by members of the Trump administration 600 00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:53,240 Speaker 1: and Trump himself, which full disclosure. But talk to me 601 00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:55,120 Speaker 1: about the manos speirre, I mean, what is it? 602 00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:56,000 Speaker 2: And who? 603 00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:57,360 Speaker 1: By the way, who are some of these fun I 604 00:29:57,360 --> 00:29:58,920 Speaker 1: mean people I think I have heard of. Joe Rogan. 605 00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:02,480 Speaker 1: Average person may not have heard of Joe Rogan then 606 00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:05,000 Speaker 1: obviously heard something about him when it came to Kamala 607 00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:08,480 Speaker 1: Harris not deciding to go to Austin to go on 608 00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:13,320 Speaker 1: his podcast, though few people likely were first to learn 609 00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:16,880 Speaker 1: about him with that alone. But Joe Peterson's someone not 610 00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:19,920 Speaker 1: everybody knows who else in this mano sphere? What is it? 611 00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:22,800 Speaker 1: How do you define it? And when did you start 612 00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:26,840 Speaker 1: to see the emergence of it? And how real inconsequential 613 00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:28,720 Speaker 1: is it is? Is it in the context of this 614 00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:30,160 Speaker 1: gender conversation. 615 00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:34,520 Speaker 2: Well, it was certainly a small sort of dark corner 616 00:30:34,560 --> 00:30:37,440 Speaker 2: of the Internet for a number of years where men 617 00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:41,920 Speaker 2: who were many of them really angry at women, at 618 00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:45,000 Speaker 2: feminism more generally, and at women. Many of them were 619 00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:47,480 Speaker 2: men who were divorced, who had custody battles, you know, 620 00:30:47,480 --> 00:30:50,520 Speaker 2: who were really angry at both the courts in some 621 00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:52,600 Speaker 2: cases their you know, their wives or their ex wives 622 00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:55,280 Speaker 2: because they didn't have access to their kids. And some 623 00:30:55,360 --> 00:30:57,520 Speaker 2: of those men were abusive, some of them weren't abusive. 624 00:30:57,680 --> 00:30:59,680 Speaker 2: It's it's a complicated picture. And when it comes to 625 00:30:59,720 --> 00:31:02,320 Speaker 2: the you know, the messiness of relationships, I mean, i'm 626 00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:04,640 Speaker 2: you know, who knows, you know. But so there was 627 00:31:05,120 --> 00:31:08,440 Speaker 2: there was a sort of men's rights movement which was 628 00:31:08,640 --> 00:31:11,960 Speaker 2: organizing itself. And then when the Internet came came into 629 00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:15,240 Speaker 2: the picture, they were organizing through you know, through connecting 630 00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:17,320 Speaker 2: with each other through the digital universe. And it was 631 00:31:17,360 --> 00:31:20,360 Speaker 2: called the manosphere. And it was again a small sort 632 00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:24,320 Speaker 2: of corner of the Internet. It's become completely mainstream now. 633 00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:27,160 Speaker 2: So and and you know, Donald Trump's election in twenty 634 00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:29,960 Speaker 2: sixteen was a big accelerant to the to the mainstreaming 635 00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:32,120 Speaker 2: of the Manisphere. And now a lot of young people, 636 00:31:32,520 --> 00:31:35,640 Speaker 2: young boys in particular, but not exclusively, but certainly young 637 00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:40,520 Speaker 2: boys and young men get drawn into the manisphere. And 638 00:31:40,560 --> 00:31:43,360 Speaker 2: by the way, not necessarily because they're you know, ideological. 639 00:31:43,400 --> 00:31:45,680 Speaker 2: It's not because they have like a critique of feminism 640 00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:49,040 Speaker 2: or something or anything, or masculinity. It's more like the 641 00:31:49,080 --> 00:31:51,160 Speaker 2: algorithms draw them in and maybe. 642 00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:54,080 Speaker 1: Maybe learning on a YouTube version of a video game 643 00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:55,880 Speaker 1: they like, and all of a sudden there's an ad 644 00:31:56,360 --> 00:31:58,560 Speaker 1: that's right, it's you know, with a Bugatti or something, 645 00:31:58,880 --> 00:32:00,760 Speaker 1: and they click onto that. All of a sudden they're 646 00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:03,320 Speaker 1: part of some university's right, and then all of a sudden, 647 00:32:03,360 --> 00:32:05,320 Speaker 1: two months later, they're in a conspiracy theory. 648 00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:07,880 Speaker 2: That's right, that's right, and and and and part exactly 649 00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:10,240 Speaker 2: and part of the conspiracy is that is that men 650 00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:14,200 Speaker 2: are being taken advantage of, and that men are being disadvantaged, 651 00:32:14,280 --> 00:32:18,120 Speaker 2: and that you know, feminists are uh anti mail and 652 00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:20,160 Speaker 2: that and that you as a man need to stand 653 00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:22,479 Speaker 2: up and speak up and fight back because you know, 654 00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:25,719 Speaker 2: that's the whole red pill idea. Like somehow, somehow you're 655 00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:29,640 Speaker 2: now consciously seeing that the world is lined up for women, 656 00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:32,520 Speaker 2: and which is, by the way, again talk about a 657 00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:35,640 Speaker 2: topsy turvy understanding of the way the world works. Right 658 00:32:35,760 --> 00:32:37,240 Speaker 2: And by the way, a lot of these men, as 659 00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:39,200 Speaker 2: you know, a lot of these men have never they've 660 00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:41,840 Speaker 2: never taken a course on you know, gender. You know, 661 00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:46,200 Speaker 2: they've never read a book about it. They've never attended seminars, 662 00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:49,680 Speaker 2: they haven't watched you know, long YouTube videos or even 663 00:32:49,720 --> 00:32:52,000 Speaker 2: even Ted talks like my Ted Talk or other people's 664 00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:55,400 Speaker 2: Ted talks. They haven't had much exposure, but they have 665 00:32:55,600 --> 00:32:58,840 Speaker 2: heard that, you know, feminists hate men and especially white men. 666 00:32:59,160 --> 00:33:00,360 Speaker 2: Let me just say this is one of the things 667 00:33:00,360 --> 00:33:02,280 Speaker 2: that I think is really great about you doing this 668 00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:06,200 Speaker 2: podcast and the kind of people that you've been interviewing. 669 00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:08,440 Speaker 2: You're having a dialogue. I think I think a lot 670 00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:11,560 Speaker 2: of young guys don't hear any conversation like this whatsoever, 671 00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:13,920 Speaker 2: and certainly if there if all they're listening to is 672 00:33:13,960 --> 00:33:17,960 Speaker 2: the Jordan Peterson's of the world and the and Joe Rogan. 673 00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:22,440 Speaker 2: And by the way, Joe Rogan has enormous, enormous influence, 674 00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:26,480 Speaker 2: and he's not particularly ideological, although he does platform people 675 00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:29,880 Speaker 2: right of center, and he's very conspiratorial in the way 676 00:33:29,920 --> 00:33:30,440 Speaker 2: he thinks. 677 00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:32,400 Speaker 1: So not long ago he was he was platforming in 678 00:33:32,440 --> 00:33:34,400 Speaker 1: Bernie Sanders, I mean, on the other side of the 679 00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:36,320 Speaker 1: political spectrum in that respect. 680 00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:39,320 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, But he's also he's a smart guy, even 681 00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:41,520 Speaker 2: though he's you know, I think he's a little bit 682 00:33:41,880 --> 00:33:44,360 Speaker 2: you know, he he goes in different directions and sometimes 683 00:33:44,360 --> 00:33:46,040 Speaker 2: I think, oh my god, he's so insightful, and other 684 00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:47,920 Speaker 2: times he says things that I'm like, oh my god, 685 00:33:48,280 --> 00:33:51,080 Speaker 2: But he does you know, he interviews you know, theoretical physicists, 686 00:33:51,120 --> 00:33:54,120 Speaker 2: and he has thoughtful conversations and my son and others 687 00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:56,040 Speaker 2: that I know, and I enjoy listening to him. So 688 00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:58,360 Speaker 2: I'm not this isn't just a complete, you know, sort 689 00:33:58,360 --> 00:34:02,040 Speaker 2: of dismissional of Joe. Yeah. I do think the Democratic 690 00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:04,480 Speaker 2: Party has done a horrible job of outreach to men. 691 00:34:04,720 --> 00:34:07,080 Speaker 2: And I think it's not just about Kamala Harris failing 692 00:34:07,080 --> 00:34:08,880 Speaker 2: to go on Joe Rogan. Although I think that was 693 00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:12,360 Speaker 2: a mistake. I don't think that that's unique to Kamala 694 00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:15,320 Speaker 2: Harris and her campaign, right, I think the Democratic Party 695 00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:18,160 Speaker 2: as a party has done a really poor job for 696 00:34:18,200 --> 00:34:20,359 Speaker 2: fifty years at outreach to men. 697 00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:22,000 Speaker 1: So I want to talk. I want to unpack that 698 00:34:22,040 --> 00:34:23,520 Speaker 1: a little bit, because I mean, it connects to the 699 00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:26,600 Speaker 1: manto sphere, and it connects to what's happening with podcasts 700 00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:30,520 Speaker 1: and how media is now consumed. And that's been again 701 00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:33,160 Speaker 1: an expertise of yours. It's sort of the it's the 702 00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:36,239 Speaker 1: intersection of race and violence and gender, but also the 703 00:34:36,239 --> 00:34:40,160 Speaker 1: intersection of gender and media. But there's this larger trend 704 00:34:40,160 --> 00:34:43,480 Speaker 1: line that also connects, and that is men are not 705 00:34:43,600 --> 00:34:46,840 Speaker 1: doing well right. I mean, suicide rates four x, the 706 00:34:46,880 --> 00:34:50,080 Speaker 1: addiction rates three x, twelve times more likely a man 707 00:34:50,120 --> 00:34:53,200 Speaker 1: to be incarcerated. You look at obesity rates, dropout rates, 708 00:34:53,200 --> 00:34:55,960 Speaker 1: you look at graduation rates, you look at discipline, you 709 00:34:56,040 --> 00:34:58,440 Speaker 1: look at all these larger issues you've been focused on 710 00:34:58,480 --> 00:35:01,440 Speaker 1: in terms of violence. I mean this, this is a crisis, arguably. 711 00:35:01,719 --> 00:35:04,480 Speaker 1: I mean this is a serious, serious crisis the state 712 00:35:04,840 --> 00:35:09,719 Speaker 1: of men. And it's not just white men, it's young men. 713 00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:14,320 Speaker 1: I mean, what is going on in this space? And 714 00:35:14,960 --> 00:35:15,480 Speaker 1: what have you? 715 00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:16,680 Speaker 2: I mean you've you've. 716 00:35:16,640 --> 00:35:19,239 Speaker 1: You've talked in terms of hyper masculinity. You and my 717 00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:22,359 Speaker 1: wife full disclosure, were part of a film you guys 718 00:35:22,400 --> 00:35:26,279 Speaker 1: worked on together around women and girls called Misrepresentation. But 719 00:35:26,320 --> 00:35:29,000 Speaker 1: then you followed up a decade ago in this space 720 00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:35,120 Speaker 1: with a film called The mascul Living about masculinity, hyper masculinity. 721 00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:38,680 Speaker 1: Man up, be a man, you know, and you called 722 00:35:38,680 --> 00:35:41,279 Speaker 1: out in that film a lot of these stats a 723 00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:44,680 Speaker 1: decade plus ago, And so I think you're right to 724 00:35:44,719 --> 00:35:46,480 Speaker 1: call out the Democratic Party. Where the hell have we 725 00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:49,560 Speaker 1: been on this topic? We see where the Republicans have 726 00:35:49,680 --> 00:35:51,600 Speaker 1: gone with it and to exploit, I think a little 727 00:35:51,600 --> 00:35:53,840 Speaker 1: bit of it, not necessarily to solve for some of it. 728 00:35:54,160 --> 00:35:56,160 Speaker 1: But what are these trend lines? What do they mean 729 00:35:56,200 --> 00:35:58,160 Speaker 1: to you? And what have you gleaned from? And what 730 00:35:58,200 --> 00:36:00,239 Speaker 1: the hell is going on with young men in this 731 00:36:00,280 --> 00:36:02,120 Speaker 1: country and maybe around the world. 732 00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:05,480 Speaker 2: Sure well, I mean, there's no doubt that there's all 733 00:36:05,560 --> 00:36:08,719 Speaker 2: kinds of indict you know, indications that a lot of 734 00:36:08,760 --> 00:36:11,279 Speaker 2: young men are not doing well. And then you just 735 00:36:11,360 --> 00:36:13,359 Speaker 2: name some of those statistics. And some of your other 736 00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:16,839 Speaker 2: guests have talked about this subject and and thoughtfully and 737 00:36:16,840 --> 00:36:20,480 Speaker 2: and you know, and it's all good. By the way, 738 00:36:20,760 --> 00:36:22,600 Speaker 2: I do want to say one of the things that 739 00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:26,680 Speaker 2: that is frustrating to me is that feminism is not 740 00:36:26,800 --> 00:36:28,080 Speaker 2: the enemy of men. 741 00:36:28,239 --> 00:36:28,399 Speaker 1: Right. 742 00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:30,160 Speaker 2: It's like, if you want to help men, if you 743 00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:32,399 Speaker 2: want if you want boys to thrive, if you want 744 00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:36,960 Speaker 2: boys to have better lives, better relationships, better self regard 745 00:36:37,040 --> 00:36:40,200 Speaker 2: and self care to take care of themselves, feminism is 746 00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:44,000 Speaker 2: not the uh antithesis of that. Feminism is giving giving 747 00:36:44,040 --> 00:36:46,959 Speaker 2: a pathway. Can I also let me just a related point, 748 00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:49,440 Speaker 2: the men's health movement, which is a small but growing 749 00:36:49,480 --> 00:36:52,719 Speaker 2: movement of of of people who are looking at ways 750 00:36:52,719 --> 00:36:55,960 Speaker 2: in which cultural ideal ideas about manhood. And this is 751 00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:58,800 Speaker 2: again around the world, it's not just in the United States, 752 00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:03,759 Speaker 2: but have contributed to men's health problems, both in terms 753 00:37:03,760 --> 00:37:06,359 Speaker 2: of risk taking behavior and certainly in terms of health 754 00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:08,800 Speaker 2: seeking behavior. In other words, men not going to the doctor, 755 00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:12,320 Speaker 2: men not going to the dentist, men not going to therapy, 756 00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:15,360 Speaker 2: you know, dealing with self medication rather like through the 757 00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:18,160 Speaker 2: bottle or through drugs, rather than going to get you know, 758 00:37:18,200 --> 00:37:21,560 Speaker 2: professional health like therapy, because that's unmanly to do. In 759 00:37:21,600 --> 00:37:24,239 Speaker 2: other words, in other words, the impediment to doing that 760 00:37:24,440 --> 00:37:26,759 Speaker 2: is a belief about manhood. Like a real man sucks 761 00:37:26,800 --> 00:37:29,480 Speaker 2: it up, a real man just deals with it. The 762 00:37:29,560 --> 00:37:32,239 Speaker 2: men's health movement, which is an important movement to say 763 00:37:32,239 --> 00:37:37,440 Speaker 2: the least, is directly connected to the feminist led women's 764 00:37:37,480 --> 00:37:41,520 Speaker 2: health movement. In fact, one of the major events in 765 00:37:41,560 --> 00:37:44,720 Speaker 2: the women's health movement was the publication in nineteen seventy 766 00:37:44,719 --> 00:37:48,080 Speaker 2: two of a book called Our Bodies, Ourselves, published by 767 00:37:48,120 --> 00:37:50,279 Speaker 2: the Boston Women's Health Book Collective, which was one of 768 00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:53,440 Speaker 2: the first interventions into the public conversation about how women's 769 00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:57,000 Speaker 2: health was affected by gender. You know ideas about femininity 770 00:37:57,080 --> 00:37:59,719 Speaker 2: and how the healthcare system was set up for men 771 00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:02,480 Speaker 2: and for women. Anyhow, the men's health women Some of 772 00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:05,840 Speaker 2: the major figures in it, including my friend and colleague 773 00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:08,239 Speaker 2: Terry Reel, who wrote the first major book about men's 774 00:38:08,239 --> 00:38:10,800 Speaker 2: depression called I Don't Want to Talk about It, Overcoming 775 00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:14,080 Speaker 2: the Secret Legacy of Male Depression in nineteen ninety seven. 776 00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:18,520 Speaker 2: People like Terry Reel talk openly about how his ideas 777 00:38:18,520 --> 00:38:22,360 Speaker 2: were informed by feminist you know, intellectuals and activists and 778 00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:25,920 Speaker 2: practitioners in the women's health space, in the therapy space. 779 00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:30,120 Speaker 2: And yet the average guy who cares about women, you know, 780 00:38:30,160 --> 00:38:32,960 Speaker 2: men's health, and who or listen or listens to manisphere 781 00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:35,600 Speaker 2: figures talk about how feminists hate men. They have no 782 00:38:35,719 --> 00:38:39,120 Speaker 2: idea that some of the most thoughtful things, you know, 783 00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:44,400 Speaker 2: thoughtful people about men's health are direct products of feminist 784 00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:48,759 Speaker 2: ideas and feminist activism. And I think the reason why 785 00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:50,960 Speaker 2: I think that's important is because we have we have 786 00:38:51,040 --> 00:38:53,600 Speaker 2: too much artificial division between men and women. And I 787 00:38:53,600 --> 00:38:57,120 Speaker 2: think the Right thrives on this division, and it's it's 788 00:38:57,160 --> 00:38:59,880 Speaker 2: it's dividing people from each other rather than bringing them 789 00:38:59,880 --> 00:39:01,719 Speaker 2: to And I think part of what I do in 790 00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:03,200 Speaker 2: my work, and I think you do it as well. 791 00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:04,799 Speaker 2: But I think certainly what I do in my work 792 00:39:04,840 --> 00:39:08,279 Speaker 2: is because I come from a fairly traditional background, and 793 00:39:08,320 --> 00:39:11,480 Speaker 2: I have all this experience in sports culture, in the 794 00:39:11,520 --> 00:39:14,080 Speaker 2: military and working with traditional men. In fifty I've been 795 00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:16,880 Speaker 2: all fifty states, you know, I work in Red States. 796 00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:21,240 Speaker 2: I work with really traditional men in every you know sector. 797 00:39:21,280 --> 00:39:25,680 Speaker 2: You can imagine men can have these conversations and with 798 00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:29,120 Speaker 2: each other. With women, it's not like it's not so polarized. 799 00:39:29,160 --> 00:39:31,680 Speaker 2: But I think if you go into these manisphere spaces 800 00:39:32,040 --> 00:39:35,040 Speaker 2: or the political spaces, or Fox, or you watch Fox, 801 00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:37,399 Speaker 2: or you listen to talk radio, conservative talk radio, which 802 00:39:37,440 --> 00:39:39,840 Speaker 2: I've been listening. I started listening in Rush Lombard like 803 00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:42,399 Speaker 2: nineteen ninety. I know this stuff really really well. 804 00:39:42,600 --> 00:39:45,120 Speaker 1: We had on one of the OJEZU was the number 805 00:39:45,120 --> 00:39:48,000 Speaker 1: two on radio, Michael Savage, was that right where you're 806 00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:50,480 Speaker 1: sitting just a few weeks ago on the podcast. 807 00:39:50,520 --> 00:39:52,600 Speaker 2: That's right about that history as well, that's right they 808 00:39:52,680 --> 00:39:55,080 Speaker 2: and by the way, these guys created a formula that 809 00:39:55,239 --> 00:39:56,920 Speaker 2: made a ton of money for them and a lot 810 00:39:56,960 --> 00:40:01,799 Speaker 2: of other people, and dividing people and and making caricatures 811 00:40:01,880 --> 00:40:04,480 Speaker 2: of people that they don't agree with Rush Limbaugh did 812 00:40:04,480 --> 00:40:09,080 Speaker 2: it fabulously and ridiculed and mocked, you know, feminists and 813 00:40:09,640 --> 00:40:11,400 Speaker 2: women who are trying to be treated with respect. 814 00:40:11,440 --> 00:40:14,160 Speaker 1: So you're basically, I mean, so this goes I think 815 00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:16,960 Speaker 1: this is This is the real dialectic right on this topic. 816 00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:19,239 Speaker 1: It's a difficult one because the people to see it 817 00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:21,840 Speaker 1: it's one or the other. It's a binary that somehow 818 00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:25,960 Speaker 1: it's a zero sum game, that that you are somehow 819 00:40:26,040 --> 00:40:29,680 Speaker 1: diminishing the feminist movement if you're trying to elevate young men, 820 00:40:29,880 --> 00:40:32,719 Speaker 1: or if you're elevating or the opposite. I mean, what 821 00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:35,640 Speaker 1: how do you start to there's more of an abundance mindset. 822 00:40:35,760 --> 00:40:37,880 Speaker 1: What's good for the feminist movement is good for young men. 823 00:40:37,960 --> 00:40:39,440 Speaker 1: Is the point I guess you're making. Is that the 824 00:40:39,480 --> 00:40:40,120 Speaker 1: point you're making? 825 00:40:40,239 --> 00:40:43,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, but it's all I have to say. It's 826 00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:45,719 Speaker 2: complicated because people can say, well, there's only so many jobs, 827 00:40:45,760 --> 00:40:47,920 Speaker 2: and if women are getting those jobs, then there's going 828 00:40:47,960 --> 00:40:49,920 Speaker 2: to be harder you know, competition for the men. But 829 00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:51,960 Speaker 2: you know what, if you believe in merit, if you 830 00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:54,640 Speaker 2: believe in democracy, if you believe in fairness, and you 831 00:40:54,680 --> 00:40:57,120 Speaker 2: believe in fairness. I think fairness is to me the 832 00:40:57,120 --> 00:41:00,319 Speaker 2: governing issue, right. I believe in fairness plat out women. 833 00:41:00,360 --> 00:41:02,760 Speaker 2: If women are smarter than men, if they work harder, 834 00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:05,319 Speaker 2: if they're more talented, then they deserve the job. It's 835 00:41:05,360 --> 00:41:06,520 Speaker 2: like you don't deserve the job. 836 00:41:06,440 --> 00:41:09,920 Speaker 1: Just because aristocracy in that respect is certainly showcasing itself 837 00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:13,399 Speaker 1: an education system, and certainly higher education, which women are 838 00:41:13,440 --> 00:41:16,520 Speaker 1: on pace in half a decade to be two to 839 00:41:16,560 --> 00:41:19,040 Speaker 1: one of college graduates in that that's right. 840 00:41:19,040 --> 00:41:21,600 Speaker 2: And by the way, anti intellectualism is deep in American culture, 841 00:41:21,719 --> 00:41:24,360 Speaker 2: especially among men. The idea that if you're somehow smart, 842 00:41:24,640 --> 00:41:29,640 Speaker 2: you're a wimp, or you're condescending because you're educated, you're 843 00:41:29,640 --> 00:41:33,720 Speaker 2: condescending to people who don't have an education. And I 844 00:41:33,760 --> 00:41:36,600 Speaker 2: appreciate that certain members of of you know, the educated 845 00:41:36,600 --> 00:41:39,759 Speaker 2: classes can be clunky, to say the least in terms 846 00:41:39,800 --> 00:41:42,560 Speaker 2: of the way they communicate with people like with with 847 00:41:42,560 --> 00:41:44,600 Speaker 2: with a less you know, less pedigree in terms of 848 00:41:44,640 --> 00:41:48,120 Speaker 2: their education. I don't think I'm like that, but I 849 00:41:48,160 --> 00:41:51,120 Speaker 2: do think that that's a real thing. But the idea 850 00:41:51,160 --> 00:41:54,880 Speaker 2: that being somehow intellectual, being you know, somebody who reads, 851 00:41:55,040 --> 00:41:58,160 Speaker 2: who engages with ideas is somehow makes you weak and 852 00:41:58,239 --> 00:42:00,600 Speaker 2: soft as a man, or less than a real man. 853 00:42:01,320 --> 00:42:04,560 Speaker 2: This is the most self defeating idiocy that I could 854 00:42:04,640 --> 00:42:08,640 Speaker 2: ever imagine, and yet it's fed daily in the in 855 00:42:08,719 --> 00:42:12,279 Speaker 2: the popular discourse, especially in you know, right wing talk radio. 856 00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:14,160 Speaker 1: So what the hell is going on with young men? 857 00:42:14,200 --> 00:42:14,399 Speaker 2: Then? 858 00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:17,759 Speaker 1: What's going on? 859 00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:20,440 Speaker 2: Well? I think it's a complicated world. I think I 860 00:42:20,480 --> 00:42:23,440 Speaker 2: think a lot of women, for example, have been pioneering 861 00:42:23,480 --> 00:42:25,279 Speaker 2: new ways of being women in a in a in 862 00:42:25,360 --> 00:42:28,480 Speaker 2: a in a very diverse and changing you know, sort 863 00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:32,480 Speaker 2: of historical social you know context, And I think a 864 00:42:32,480 --> 00:42:34,320 Speaker 2: lot of men are as well. We're just trying to 865 00:42:34,360 --> 00:42:35,520 Speaker 2: figure it out, Like what does it mean to be 866 00:42:35,560 --> 00:42:36,799 Speaker 2: a good father? What does it mean to be a 867 00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:38,839 Speaker 2: good husband? What does it mean to be a strong man? 868 00:42:39,320 --> 00:42:41,799 Speaker 2: If the historically being a strong man meant you're a 869 00:42:42,080 --> 00:42:44,440 Speaker 2: protector of your family and a provider. But then you 870 00:42:44,520 --> 00:42:46,560 Speaker 2: know your wife, say you're a heterosexual man and you're married, 871 00:42:46,600 --> 00:42:48,680 Speaker 2: what if your wife is like making more money than you, 872 00:42:49,360 --> 00:42:51,520 Speaker 2: what does it mean to be a provider at that point? 873 00:42:51,600 --> 00:42:54,319 Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying, Like, I mean, what does 874 00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:56,240 Speaker 2: it mean to protect your kids? When people are dropping 875 00:42:56,239 --> 00:42:57,680 Speaker 2: off their kids at school and they're worried that their 876 00:42:57,719 --> 00:42:59,280 Speaker 2: kids are going to get shot in a school shooting. 877 00:42:59,280 --> 00:43:02,120 Speaker 2: So are we protecting our kids effectively or are we actually, 878 00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:06,680 Speaker 2: through bad policy, making our kids more vulnerable. So I 879 00:43:06,680 --> 00:43:08,520 Speaker 2: think I think guys want to do the right thing. 880 00:43:08,560 --> 00:43:10,840 Speaker 2: They want to be respected, they want to be strong, 881 00:43:11,239 --> 00:43:13,400 Speaker 2: but they don't really know exactly how to go about 882 00:43:13,400 --> 00:43:16,680 Speaker 2: doing it. And because because of the changes in women's lives, 883 00:43:16,719 --> 00:43:19,440 Speaker 2: And again I'm making a wildly general statement, and it's 884 00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:22,719 Speaker 2: complicated by class and race and ethnicity and all these 885 00:43:22,760 --> 00:43:26,880 Speaker 2: other categories. I appreciate that intersectional thinking is not just 886 00:43:26,920 --> 00:43:30,160 Speaker 2: a that's not just a slogan. It's real. It's like 887 00:43:30,200 --> 00:43:34,280 Speaker 2: people have complex identities, right, and they occupy complex social positions. 888 00:43:34,440 --> 00:43:37,279 Speaker 2: But I think a lot of women have been doing 889 00:43:37,320 --> 00:43:41,960 Speaker 2: incredible things to sort of upend centuries, millennia of tradition, 890 00:43:43,080 --> 00:43:45,280 Speaker 2: and as a result, a lot of men are completely 891 00:43:45,320 --> 00:43:47,759 Speaker 2: dissentered and are still trying to figure out what does 892 00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:49,560 Speaker 2: it mean? What do I mean? What does it mean 893 00:43:49,600 --> 00:43:51,200 Speaker 2: to be me? What does it mean to be strong? 894 00:43:51,400 --> 00:43:54,280 Speaker 2: And I think some men are drawn to And again 895 00:43:54,320 --> 00:43:57,279 Speaker 2: I'm not dismissing this. I think it's okay. You know, 896 00:43:57,440 --> 00:44:01,680 Speaker 2: some men are drawn to more traditional ideas about manhood 897 00:44:01,680 --> 00:44:05,000 Speaker 2: in part because they're they're they're simpler, and they're they're 898 00:44:05,040 --> 00:44:10,279 Speaker 2: they're they're they're they're they're they're less comp they're just 899 00:44:10,320 --> 00:44:13,840 Speaker 2: less less complicated, like so, for example, celebrating physical strength, 900 00:44:13,880 --> 00:44:16,399 Speaker 2: I mean, I mean, and by the way, Trump in 901 00:44:16,440 --> 00:44:18,480 Speaker 2: his you know, his way, he's no, you know, he's 902 00:44:18,480 --> 00:44:21,279 Speaker 2: no intellectual, right, but he's he has a visceral understanding 903 00:44:21,280 --> 00:44:23,680 Speaker 2: of some of this. And so and the Trump campaign 904 00:44:23,840 --> 00:44:26,200 Speaker 2: how how they go to UFC fights and then Trump 905 00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:30,000 Speaker 2: walks into a UFC fight and everybody's cheering. It's like yes, 906 00:44:30,200 --> 00:44:32,400 Speaker 2: and it's like that re establishes that Trump is the 907 00:44:32,480 --> 00:44:35,680 Speaker 2: man's candidate. The Republican Party is the men's party. And 908 00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:38,279 Speaker 2: they just doubled down. The Republicans double down on this 909 00:44:38,320 --> 00:44:41,880 Speaker 2: in the twenty twenty for r NC. And it was like, 910 00:44:41,880 --> 00:44:45,680 Speaker 2: to me, it was like a cartoonish, hyper masculine spectacle. 911 00:44:45,880 --> 00:44:48,040 Speaker 2: It was I was embarrassed by it. But it were 912 00:44:49,400 --> 00:44:52,359 Speaker 2: shirt yes, yes, and and and Dana White saying he's 913 00:44:52,360 --> 00:44:54,439 Speaker 2: the best, you know, he's the biggest badass. And one 914 00:44:54,440 --> 00:44:56,520 Speaker 2: person after another going up and saying Donald Trump is 915 00:44:56,560 --> 00:44:58,920 Speaker 2: the strongest man I've ever met, and it's just I 916 00:44:58,960 --> 00:45:01,719 Speaker 2: was just embarrassed by this. But it worked, worked, It worked, 917 00:45:01,800 --> 00:45:02,839 Speaker 2: especially for young men. 918 00:45:03,280 --> 00:45:04,840 Speaker 1: But you knew it was going to work because you 919 00:45:04,880 --> 00:45:07,200 Speaker 1: wrote books on this. Yes, you wrote a book about 920 00:45:07,239 --> 00:45:10,439 Speaker 1: Clinton and Hillary I mean about Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. 921 00:45:10,600 --> 00:45:13,160 Speaker 1: You wrote a book about masculinity and leadership. 922 00:45:13,280 --> 00:45:16,160 Speaker 2: I did. Yes, I saw this coming decades ago. I 923 00:45:16,160 --> 00:45:18,160 Speaker 2: mean it wasn't. And by the way, Reagan, I mean, 924 00:45:18,360 --> 00:45:20,000 Speaker 2: how do you think Reagan was marketed to the I 925 00:45:20,040 --> 00:45:23,160 Speaker 2: mean what your predecessor as governor of California. How Reagan 926 00:45:23,280 --> 00:45:27,600 Speaker 2: was marketed to the to the American population was he 927 00:45:27,640 --> 00:45:30,120 Speaker 2: was a cowboy riding in from the West to save 928 00:45:30,320 --> 00:45:33,880 Speaker 2: a degenerated, you know, liberal establishment that's soft and weak, 929 00:45:33,920 --> 00:45:36,359 Speaker 2: and and you know the Iranian hostage crisis, and rom 930 00:45:36,440 --> 00:45:39,160 Speaker 2: Reagan was going to come in. John Wayne wasn't available 931 00:45:39,320 --> 00:45:43,279 Speaker 2: Ronald Reagan, and and it started. It didn't start there, 932 00:45:43,320 --> 00:45:46,799 Speaker 2: but it accelerated with the Reagan administration and then for 933 00:45:46,840 --> 00:45:49,120 Speaker 2: the last forty plus years. One of the biggest challenges 934 00:45:49,120 --> 00:45:51,440 Speaker 2: that the Democrats haven't risen to is how do you, 935 00:45:51,840 --> 00:45:55,440 Speaker 2: on the one hand, represent the interests of the ascendant 936 00:45:55,440 --> 00:45:59,399 Speaker 2: classes of women and people of color and LGBTQ and 937 00:45:59,719 --> 00:46:02,440 Speaker 2: hang on to the one of the key parts of 938 00:46:02,480 --> 00:46:04,839 Speaker 2: the New Deal coalition, which is, you know, blue collar 939 00:46:04,880 --> 00:46:07,239 Speaker 2: white men and how do you do that at the 940 00:46:07,239 --> 00:46:09,960 Speaker 2: same time. And it's really a complicated challenge. 941 00:46:09,960 --> 00:46:10,440 Speaker 1: So what's the. 942 00:46:10,480 --> 00:46:11,200 Speaker 2: Answer to that? Ha ha? 943 00:46:11,719 --> 00:46:13,239 Speaker 1: I mean, because I mean it goes back to the 944 00:46:13,320 --> 00:46:16,600 Speaker 1: Democratic Party. It's interesting Democrat at the DNC, they didn't 945 00:46:16,640 --> 00:46:20,480 Speaker 1: necessarily platform. They platform pretty much every group, but they 946 00:46:20,520 --> 00:46:23,799 Speaker 1: didn't platform a group that's struggling and struggling to be 947 00:46:23,920 --> 00:46:27,960 Speaker 1: heard and identified as struggling, right, that are looking for 948 00:46:28,040 --> 00:46:31,560 Speaker 1: meaning and purpose and mission that you, for a long 949 00:46:31,880 --> 00:46:35,120 Speaker 1: period of time have recognized are feeling these pressures. There 950 00:46:35,120 --> 00:46:38,399 Speaker 1: are these macrol pressures. I mean, what is I mean, 951 00:46:39,280 --> 00:46:43,000 Speaker 1: why do you think the Democratic Party did not meet 952 00:46:43,040 --> 00:46:45,840 Speaker 1: that moment? Do you think the Democratic Party is waking 953 00:46:45,920 --> 00:46:47,560 Speaker 1: up to that moment? Maybe it goes back to my 954 00:46:48,480 --> 00:46:52,200 Speaker 1: question a little while ago about what does this moment 955 00:46:52,360 --> 00:46:56,160 Speaker 1: in this conversation mean? Why do you feel like is 956 00:46:56,160 --> 00:46:58,799 Speaker 1: there a political is it because the political opening in 957 00:46:58,840 --> 00:47:01,879 Speaker 1: the space, more people are having this conversation about men 958 00:47:02,200 --> 00:47:05,160 Speaker 1: than they have in the past. That's actually illuminating even 959 00:47:05,200 --> 00:47:06,279 Speaker 1: more of your work as well. 960 00:47:07,640 --> 00:47:09,799 Speaker 2: Yeah, there's so many pieces to that. I would say, 961 00:47:10,080 --> 00:47:13,839 Speaker 2: I would say the crisis of right wing populism and 962 00:47:13,880 --> 00:47:17,960 Speaker 2: trump Ism is focusing a lot of people's minds. I 963 00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:20,320 Speaker 2: think a lot of people who were kind of asleep 964 00:47:20,360 --> 00:47:21,880 Speaker 2: at the switch a little bit, and they thought, you know, 965 00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:25,560 Speaker 2: the Democrats could just keep going without really addressing this 966 00:47:25,760 --> 00:47:31,719 Speaker 2: complex set of identity issues, especially involving men, without being 967 00:47:31,719 --> 00:47:35,799 Speaker 2: seen to somehow be you know, selling out women, you know. 968 00:47:36,120 --> 00:47:38,719 Speaker 2: And I think the consultant class, I think I think 969 00:47:38,760 --> 00:47:41,600 Speaker 2: a lot of political consultants haven't been on this. They 970 00:47:41,600 --> 00:47:45,920 Speaker 2: haven't understood this dynamic, the dynamic of men and speaking 971 00:47:45,960 --> 00:47:48,759 Speaker 2: two men and how I mean Steve Bannon, one of 972 00:47:48,760 --> 00:47:53,520 Speaker 2: your formal guests, Steve Bennan says, everything is narrative. This 973 00:47:53,560 --> 00:47:58,000 Speaker 2: isn't about ideology. It's about narrative. And I mean, I'm 974 00:47:58,040 --> 00:47:59,800 Speaker 2: one of the co founders of an organization called the 975 00:47:59,800 --> 00:48:02,680 Speaker 2: Young Men Research Project, right, and we've been doing we 976 00:48:02,719 --> 00:48:05,320 Speaker 2: started in early twenty four and way before the election, 977 00:48:05,600 --> 00:48:07,400 Speaker 2: trying to push the Democratic Party, but not just the 978 00:48:07,440 --> 00:48:10,479 Speaker 2: Democratic Party, journalists, people in the media to think about 979 00:48:10,480 --> 00:48:12,200 Speaker 2: the young men's vote, to think about how to speak 980 00:48:12,200 --> 00:48:16,040 Speaker 2: to young men because we were worried about the slide 981 00:48:16,080 --> 00:48:18,360 Speaker 2: over to the to the right of young men. And 982 00:48:18,360 --> 00:48:20,040 Speaker 2: by the way, young women move into the left and 983 00:48:20,120 --> 00:48:22,239 Speaker 2: you know, politically and young men moving to the right. 984 00:48:22,840 --> 00:48:25,480 Speaker 2: But it's not ideological. In other words, the same men 985 00:48:25,480 --> 00:48:27,480 Speaker 2: who voted for Trump, but young men, many of them, 986 00:48:27,640 --> 00:48:30,239 Speaker 2: they're pro choice on abortion rights, and you've been a 987 00:48:30,239 --> 00:48:33,799 Speaker 2: strong leader on abortion rights and unapologetically, which is by 988 00:48:33,840 --> 00:48:36,600 Speaker 2: the way, what we need. We need unapologetic leadership from 989 00:48:36,600 --> 00:48:40,439 Speaker 2: the Democratic side on things like women's rights. But when 990 00:48:40,440 --> 00:48:42,360 Speaker 2: it comes to you know, strong labor unions, when it 991 00:48:42,400 --> 00:48:44,680 Speaker 2: comes to action on the climate crisis, when it comes 992 00:48:44,680 --> 00:48:47,200 Speaker 2: to increase of minimum wage and the issue after issues, 993 00:48:47,280 --> 00:48:49,279 Speaker 2: young men are progressive. 994 00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:52,360 Speaker 1: Way though there's some interesting state wide elections overwhelming they 995 00:48:52,400 --> 00:48:57,480 Speaker 1: went for Trump but supported a portion of reproductive freedom 996 00:48:57,560 --> 00:49:01,920 Speaker 1: and supported minimum wage increases. That's right, same exact voter. 997 00:49:01,760 --> 00:49:04,279 Speaker 2: Because it was about identity, not ideology. In other words, 998 00:49:04,320 --> 00:49:08,000 Speaker 2: there the identity politics. This is what identity politics are 999 00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:10,959 Speaker 2: always The Democrats are already are always accused of playing 1000 00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:14,040 Speaker 2: identity politics when they talk about issues relating to you know, 1001 00:49:14,160 --> 00:49:17,439 Speaker 2: women or people of color or LGBTQ or something. But 1002 00:49:17,600 --> 00:49:19,960 Speaker 2: the Republicans have been playing identity politics with white male 1003 00:49:20,080 --> 00:49:23,120 Speaker 2: voters for fifty years. Richard Nixon started playing identity politics 1004 00:49:23,239 --> 00:49:25,360 Speaker 2: when he started talking about the forgotten man, and you 1005 00:49:25,360 --> 00:49:28,320 Speaker 2: know they and that silent majority queens. 1006 00:49:28,600 --> 00:49:30,360 Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, they've only been playing those. 1007 00:49:30,239 --> 00:49:33,960 Speaker 2: Games exactly identity politics. But it worked again in the 1008 00:49:34,000 --> 00:49:36,600 Speaker 2: twenty twenty floor election. And I think a lot of 1009 00:49:36,640 --> 00:49:40,200 Speaker 2: young men and a lot of young men were basically 1010 00:49:40,280 --> 00:49:42,960 Speaker 2: being told that the party that cares about you and 1011 00:49:43,000 --> 00:49:45,880 Speaker 2: the party that is the men's party is the Republican Party, 1012 00:49:45,920 --> 00:49:48,640 Speaker 2: and Trump is the man's candidate, and the Democrats are 1013 00:49:48,640 --> 00:49:53,080 Speaker 2: the party of women and non masculine men, right, And 1014 00:49:53,120 --> 00:49:57,000 Speaker 2: that's that. That was the mainstream message to young men 1015 00:49:57,320 --> 00:50:00,879 Speaker 2: and young men who were low engagement voters. In other words, 1016 00:50:00,960 --> 00:50:03,000 Speaker 2: what does that mean? Low engagement voters? It means they 1017 00:50:03,040 --> 00:50:06,359 Speaker 2: don't pay close attention to politics. They don't read, they 1018 00:50:06,360 --> 00:50:09,399 Speaker 2: don't engage in political discourse, they don't you know, read 1019 00:50:09,440 --> 00:50:11,279 Speaker 2: think pieces in the Atlantic. You know what I'm saying. 1020 00:50:11,320 --> 00:50:13,960 Speaker 1: They're not where I am every night on MSNBC or 1021 00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:16,520 Speaker 1: Fox or you know, Newsmax or CNN. 1022 00:50:16,680 --> 00:50:19,279 Speaker 2: No, but they're but then, but they're hearing on and 1023 00:50:19,320 --> 00:50:20,279 Speaker 2: by the way. One of the things that we do 1024 00:50:20,320 --> 00:50:22,279 Speaker 2: in the Young Men's Research Project is that you we're 1025 00:50:22,280 --> 00:50:25,320 Speaker 2: looking at all these different ways that the media ecosphere 1026 00:50:25,320 --> 00:50:28,880 Speaker 2: that young men are inhabiting are not necessarily overtly ideological. 1027 00:50:28,880 --> 00:50:30,560 Speaker 2: In theres a lot of them. They're just talking about comedy, 1028 00:50:30,560 --> 00:50:33,239 Speaker 2: they're talking about working out, they're talking about you know, 1029 00:50:33,320 --> 00:50:36,719 Speaker 2: eating healthy and good, you know, relationship sports. But then 1030 00:50:36,760 --> 00:50:38,920 Speaker 2: they throw in some politics, like like they're throw in 1031 00:50:38,960 --> 00:50:41,280 Speaker 2: a little bit of politics, and like, yeah, Trump, Trump's 1032 00:50:41,320 --> 00:50:43,080 Speaker 2: a guy, He's a guy's guy, you know, and then 1033 00:50:43,120 --> 00:50:45,080 Speaker 2: this fight fight fight, which is you know, by the way, 1034 00:50:45,160 --> 00:50:46,760 Speaker 2: let me just say I was impressed. 1035 00:50:46,760 --> 00:50:49,080 Speaker 1: I mean, I mean it was shot that was extraordinary 1036 00:50:49,120 --> 00:50:50,440 Speaker 1: in the moment, yeah. 1037 00:50:50,040 --> 00:50:52,200 Speaker 2: Knowledge, yeah, and so good good for him. It's like, 1038 00:50:52,239 --> 00:50:54,640 Speaker 2: but but then Charlie Kirk comes out and says, if 1039 00:50:54,680 --> 00:50:57,200 Speaker 2: you're a man, after this, after the after the assassination 1040 00:50:57,239 --> 00:50:59,279 Speaker 2: attempt and Trump's response to it, if you're a man 1041 00:50:59,280 --> 00:51:00,799 Speaker 2: and you don't vote for Trump, you're not a man. 1042 00:51:01,640 --> 00:51:04,479 Speaker 2: That to me is that's embarrassing to me, Charlie Kirk, 1043 00:51:04,680 --> 00:51:06,480 Speaker 2: you know, I'm sorry, that's embarrassing. 1044 00:51:06,560 --> 00:51:08,600 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, we had him on the show as well 1045 00:51:08,640 --> 00:51:09,719 Speaker 1: as you know, yes. 1046 00:51:09,560 --> 00:51:11,839 Speaker 2: No, no, And again let me say also, I think 1047 00:51:11,840 --> 00:51:14,839 Speaker 2: it's great talking to people, having dialogue with people I 1048 00:51:14,840 --> 00:51:17,399 Speaker 2: have arguments with and discussions with people that I don't 1049 00:51:17,440 --> 00:51:20,520 Speaker 2: agree with all the time, including men, you know, around 1050 00:51:20,640 --> 00:51:24,160 Speaker 2: some of this fraught subject matter. It's fine, good, let's go, 1051 00:51:24,320 --> 00:51:25,600 Speaker 2: let's go, let's have a discussion. 1052 00:51:31,280 --> 00:51:34,040 Speaker 1: Let me ask you about just the me too movement. 1053 00:51:34,880 --> 00:51:38,440 Speaker 1: You know, this sort of sendency of consciousness in this space, 1054 00:51:39,840 --> 00:51:43,920 Speaker 1: and then there were action to it. Do you think 1055 00:51:43,960 --> 00:51:46,360 Speaker 1: there was there's been an overreaction to it. Do you 1056 00:51:46,360 --> 00:51:48,799 Speaker 1: think there's been appropriate reaction to it? Do you think 1057 00:51:48,920 --> 00:51:51,680 Speaker 1: people have understated the power of the me too movement? 1058 00:51:51,800 --> 00:51:58,120 Speaker 1: Where are you, I mean, just on that spectrum of observation, acuity, interest, 1059 00:51:58,280 --> 00:52:02,040 Speaker 1: your own activity in that space. Where do you come 1060 00:52:02,120 --> 00:52:05,240 Speaker 1: out in terms of just your experience with that movement 1061 00:52:05,400 --> 00:52:07,080 Speaker 1: and with where we are today? 1062 00:52:08,120 --> 00:52:11,000 Speaker 2: Okay, I think I think we need to, like one 1063 00:52:11,000 --> 00:52:12,600 Speaker 2: way to think about this is kind of widen the 1064 00:52:12,640 --> 00:52:14,560 Speaker 2: aperture a little bit and think about this in the 1065 00:52:14,640 --> 00:52:20,600 Speaker 2: longer terms. For thousands of years, men assaulted women in families, 1066 00:52:20,760 --> 00:52:24,160 Speaker 2: in relationships, in marriages. Marriage was leg you know, rape 1067 00:52:24,200 --> 00:52:27,400 Speaker 2: was legal within marriage, including in the West until very recently. 1068 00:52:27,520 --> 00:52:29,279 Speaker 2: I mean in the UK it was only allowed in 1069 00:52:29,320 --> 00:52:32,359 Speaker 2: nineteen ninety one rape within marriage, And in the United 1070 00:52:32,400 --> 00:52:34,279 Speaker 2: States as late as the nineteen eighties, there were six 1071 00:52:34,320 --> 00:52:35,800 Speaker 2: states where it was still legal for a man to 1072 00:52:35,880 --> 00:52:38,840 Speaker 2: rape his his wife. I mean seriously, I mean, we 1073 00:52:39,040 --> 00:52:42,160 Speaker 2: weren't so long ago cleaning up some statute language on that, 1074 00:52:42,400 --> 00:52:45,799 Speaker 2: even in California. So I completely understand what you're saying, right, 1075 00:52:45,920 --> 00:52:49,040 Speaker 2: So there's still some language in that space exactly, and 1076 00:52:49,080 --> 00:52:52,560 Speaker 2: to this day. And there's hundreds of millions of people 1077 00:52:52,560 --> 00:52:54,279 Speaker 2: who live in countries where it's still legal for men 1078 00:52:54,280 --> 00:52:57,000 Speaker 2: to rape his own wife. So there's been thousands of 1079 00:52:57,080 --> 00:53:00,600 Speaker 2: years of men brutalizing women and getting away with it 1080 00:53:00,680 --> 00:53:05,000 Speaker 2: within absolute impunity. And finally, you have in the in 1081 00:53:05,080 --> 00:53:08,200 Speaker 2: the twentieth century, you have a movement, you know, whether 1082 00:53:08,200 --> 00:53:10,799 Speaker 2: it's the women's movement more broadly and then more specifically 1083 00:53:10,840 --> 00:53:14,359 Speaker 2: the anti sexual assault movement that started really taking off 1084 00:53:14,360 --> 00:53:16,880 Speaker 2: in the nineteen seventies and eighties, as well as the 1085 00:53:16,880 --> 00:53:20,000 Speaker 2: anti domestic violence movement. So these are very recent movements. 1086 00:53:20,040 --> 00:53:21,960 Speaker 2: I mean, for somebody who's twenty years old, the eighties 1087 00:53:22,040 --> 00:53:23,799 Speaker 2: might sound like a long time ago, but let me 1088 00:53:23,880 --> 00:53:26,400 Speaker 2: just say, it's not that long ago. You know. I 1089 00:53:26,440 --> 00:53:29,040 Speaker 2: was just listening to us like a mixed list from 1090 00:53:29,040 --> 00:53:30,799 Speaker 2: the eighties, and I was like, that was my I 1091 00:53:30,840 --> 00:53:32,680 Speaker 2: was in my twenties during the eighties, and I was like, 1092 00:53:33,239 --> 00:53:35,640 Speaker 2: I can I can say I could I know every 1093 00:53:35,640 --> 00:53:38,399 Speaker 2: word to these songs anyhow. Anyhow, the point is, it's 1094 00:53:38,400 --> 00:53:39,720 Speaker 2: not that long lack of seagulls. 1095 00:53:40,800 --> 00:53:43,440 Speaker 1: Just Duran, Duran, I won't die anyway. That's another conversation. 1096 00:53:43,719 --> 00:53:46,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, so, but the point exactly. But the point is 1097 00:53:47,520 --> 00:53:50,680 Speaker 2: you have these movements organized against something that's been going 1098 00:53:50,680 --> 00:53:53,759 Speaker 2: on for thousands of years, and finally, you know, giving 1099 00:53:53,760 --> 00:53:57,520 Speaker 2: a voice to women, reforming the laws. And then because 1100 00:53:57,520 --> 00:54:00,240 Speaker 2: of the Internet, because the you know, the incredible digital 1101 00:54:00,320 --> 00:54:03,560 Speaker 2: technology that allowed the voices of women to be heard 1102 00:54:03,560 --> 00:54:05,480 Speaker 2: in a way that they had never ever had the 1103 00:54:05,520 --> 00:54:08,120 Speaker 2: opportunity to be heard. One of like the Me Too 1104 00:54:08,160 --> 00:54:11,160 Speaker 2: movement happened in part not just on the ground because 1105 00:54:11,160 --> 00:54:14,160 Speaker 2: of women coming forward, but it became possible because of 1106 00:54:14,200 --> 00:54:18,120 Speaker 2: the technology of communication and the digital revolution. So many 1107 00:54:18,120 --> 00:54:20,279 Speaker 2: of the women who came forward to say, this is 1108 00:54:20,280 --> 00:54:22,520 Speaker 2: what happened to me, this is my truth, this is 1109 00:54:22,560 --> 00:54:25,840 Speaker 2: my experience. Yes, those women were speaking not just for 1110 00:54:25,880 --> 00:54:29,720 Speaker 2: themselves but for literally literally billions of women and girls 1111 00:54:29,760 --> 00:54:33,080 Speaker 2: who had never ever had a voice for thousands of years. 1112 00:54:33,680 --> 00:54:37,120 Speaker 2: And so was there were there examples where it went 1113 00:54:37,200 --> 00:54:39,160 Speaker 2: over the top and there and where where you know, 1114 00:54:39,239 --> 00:54:42,000 Speaker 2: due process for men who were accused of crimes, you know, 1115 00:54:42,160 --> 00:54:45,200 Speaker 2: was was not taken seriously. Yeah, I'm sure there was, 1116 00:54:45,239 --> 00:54:47,279 Speaker 2: and I and I'm empathetic, and but I always say 1117 00:54:47,280 --> 00:54:49,480 Speaker 2: this because I do gender violence prevention education. I've been 1118 00:54:49,520 --> 00:54:51,960 Speaker 2: doing this for a long time. If you're a man 1119 00:54:52,719 --> 00:54:55,080 Speaker 2: who has been, you know, falsely accused of some crime 1120 00:54:55,080 --> 00:54:57,600 Speaker 2: that you didn't commit, it's a horrible thing. And there 1121 00:54:57,640 --> 00:54:59,759 Speaker 2: but for the grace of God, go I and other men. 1122 00:54:59,800 --> 00:55:02,839 Speaker 2: So I'm not saying it's okay, it's horrible and it's unacceptable. 1123 00:55:02,960 --> 00:55:06,000 Speaker 2: But you know, the vast majority of sexual assault is 1124 00:55:06,040 --> 00:55:08,719 Speaker 2: never even reported, much less falsely reported. So I think 1125 00:55:08,760 --> 00:55:11,080 Speaker 2: a lot of men have this falsely inflated sense of 1126 00:55:11,120 --> 00:55:15,480 Speaker 2: their vulnerability to false accusations. And what ends up happening 1127 00:55:15,560 --> 00:55:17,719 Speaker 2: is that this narrative develops that all these women are 1128 00:55:17,719 --> 00:55:20,000 Speaker 2: coming forward, all they can ruin a guy's life easily. 1129 00:55:20,600 --> 00:55:24,319 Speaker 2: And meanwhile, we know how how much, how difficult it 1130 00:55:24,360 --> 00:55:26,640 Speaker 2: is for a woman to come forward, and how unlikely 1131 00:55:26,680 --> 00:55:29,080 Speaker 2: it is that she's going to call that upon herself 1132 00:55:30,040 --> 00:55:33,560 Speaker 2: unless it really something really happened. Now, having said that, 1133 00:55:33,160 --> 00:55:35,759 Speaker 2: I do think there were some excesses, and there were 1134 00:55:35,800 --> 00:55:39,600 Speaker 2: some statements, certainly by women and others, that were dismissive 1135 00:55:39,680 --> 00:55:44,360 Speaker 2: of men's concerns about being unfairly targeted or falsely accused 1136 00:55:44,400 --> 00:55:46,239 Speaker 2: or what have you. But I think that I think 1137 00:55:46,320 --> 00:55:50,919 Speaker 2: overall it was a step forward. But it's messy. Life 1138 00:55:50,960 --> 00:55:53,520 Speaker 2: is messy, and social change is messy, and I think 1139 00:55:53,560 --> 00:55:55,080 Speaker 2: we have to give these and I'm just going to 1140 00:55:55,120 --> 00:55:57,520 Speaker 2: say this. I mean, I'm not, you know, bizarre who 1141 00:55:57,520 --> 00:56:00,000 Speaker 2: can make these, you know, issue these kind of edicts. 1142 00:56:00,200 --> 00:56:01,440 Speaker 2: But I would say we have to give each other 1143 00:56:01,520 --> 00:56:03,640 Speaker 2: a little bit of a break. I mean, we're all 1144 00:56:03,640 --> 00:56:06,200 Speaker 2: struggling to try to be treated with respect and dignity, 1145 00:56:06,239 --> 00:56:10,080 Speaker 2: try to live you know, lives of you know, you know, 1146 00:56:10,160 --> 00:56:14,000 Speaker 2: of dignity and in relationships, and with all these complexities 1147 00:56:14,000 --> 00:56:18,720 Speaker 2: of race and gender and and and and sexuality swirling about, 1148 00:56:19,280 --> 00:56:21,880 Speaker 2: it's not easy and navigating that space. And so I 1149 00:56:21,880 --> 00:56:23,400 Speaker 2: think what's happening with a lot of young men is 1150 00:56:23,400 --> 00:56:27,040 Speaker 2: that is that they're really confused, They're really be fuddled. 1151 00:56:27,400 --> 00:56:29,200 Speaker 2: And I think of a lot of adult men are too. 1152 00:56:29,280 --> 00:56:31,560 Speaker 2: So it's not just the young guys are befuddled. And 1153 00:56:31,640 --> 00:56:33,439 Speaker 2: so part of the reason why so many young guys 1154 00:56:33,440 --> 00:56:36,080 Speaker 2: are befuddled is because the men, the adult men that 1155 00:56:36,120 --> 00:56:40,759 Speaker 2: they look to for guidance, are themselves often bill bewildered. 1156 00:56:40,760 --> 00:56:42,240 Speaker 2: What am I supposed to say? How am I supposed 1157 00:56:42,239 --> 00:56:44,359 Speaker 2: to My wife wants me to be strong, she wants 1158 00:56:44,400 --> 00:56:47,200 Speaker 2: me to be powerful, but but but I'm also vulnerable. 1159 00:56:47,239 --> 00:56:50,719 Speaker 2: And when I express vulnerability then she's uneasy about that 1160 00:56:50,760 --> 00:56:52,719 Speaker 2: because she wants me to be strong, and I'm not 1161 00:56:52,760 --> 00:56:55,680 Speaker 2: sure what to do. And what you know this is, 1162 00:56:55,800 --> 00:56:58,560 Speaker 2: this is you know therapists. You know, for example, couples 1163 00:56:58,560 --> 00:57:01,680 Speaker 2: therapists deal with I'm not a therapist, right, but I 1164 00:57:01,719 --> 00:57:05,359 Speaker 2: know that couple therapists deal with this every day. And 1165 00:57:05,360 --> 00:57:08,239 Speaker 2: and and Terry Reel, who's this brilliant you know couple therapists. He's, 1166 00:57:08,280 --> 00:57:10,960 Speaker 2: by the way, Bruce Springsteen and Patty his wife, Patty's 1167 00:57:11,040 --> 00:57:13,719 Speaker 2: couple therapists. And I'm saying that because Bruce Springsteen wrote 1168 00:57:13,760 --> 00:57:17,680 Speaker 2: the literally wrote the forward to Terry Reel's latest book, 1169 00:57:17,680 --> 00:57:20,960 Speaker 2: which is called we it's about relationships. And Bruce Springsteen 1170 00:57:21,160 --> 00:57:24,160 Speaker 2: is is like he's like a guy's guy, Like he's 1171 00:57:24,200 --> 00:57:29,400 Speaker 2: like the prototypical American guy, right, he is, but he's 1172 00:57:29,440 --> 00:57:33,600 Speaker 2: also extremely self reflexive and vulnerable, and he's it doesn't 1173 00:57:33,600 --> 00:57:35,680 Speaker 2: make him any less of a of a of a 1174 00:57:35,720 --> 00:57:38,640 Speaker 2: sort of alpha rock star to be able to say, 1175 00:57:38,680 --> 00:57:41,640 Speaker 2: you know, he needed therapy, and he needed therapy for 1176 00:57:41,640 --> 00:57:44,320 Speaker 2: his own stuff with his own father and his relationship 1177 00:57:44,320 --> 00:57:45,960 Speaker 2: with his wife, and you know, and it was really 1178 00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:49,160 Speaker 2: important to have support in this in the sort of environment. 1179 00:57:49,200 --> 00:57:52,760 Speaker 2: And this this notion that vulnerability is somehow weakness, This 1180 00:57:52,840 --> 00:57:55,320 Speaker 2: is one of the biggest lies that young men get sold. 1181 00:57:55,680 --> 00:57:58,680 Speaker 2: But there's the pressure on young men to be sort 1182 00:57:58,680 --> 00:58:00,920 Speaker 2: of sucking it up and pretending that they've got it 1183 00:58:00,960 --> 00:58:03,560 Speaker 2: all going on because of because of the narrative that 1184 00:58:03,560 --> 00:58:06,320 Speaker 2: they're hearing. Is that a real man does that. And again, 1185 00:58:06,440 --> 00:58:08,520 Speaker 2: some of those manisphere of figures that we've been talking about, 1186 00:58:08,560 --> 00:58:10,960 Speaker 2: including by the way, Donald Trump, who says it all 1187 00:58:11,000 --> 00:58:12,840 Speaker 2: the time, you know, you don't admit weakness, you don't 1188 00:58:12,880 --> 00:58:16,960 Speaker 2: acknowledge mistakes. To me, that's that's a sign of total 1189 00:58:17,040 --> 00:58:21,160 Speaker 2: insecurity rather than strength. But I think we need adult 1190 00:58:21,160 --> 00:58:26,200 Speaker 2: men to model strong adult men to model vulnerability, not 1191 00:58:26,280 --> 00:58:28,880 Speaker 2: as weakness, but as I'm confident enough to say that 1192 00:58:28,920 --> 00:58:31,000 Speaker 2: I don't have it all figured out. I'm confident enough 1193 00:58:31,040 --> 00:58:34,400 Speaker 2: to say that, you know what, I make mistakes too, 1194 00:58:34,560 --> 00:58:36,120 Speaker 2: but I'm going to I'm just still going to get 1195 00:58:36,120 --> 00:58:38,160 Speaker 2: back up on the on the horse. I'm still gonna 1196 00:58:38,440 --> 00:58:41,280 Speaker 2: do my thing, and and and hearing professional athletes say it, 1197 00:58:41,320 --> 00:58:42,520 Speaker 2: I think it's one of the reasons why it's so 1198 00:58:42,560 --> 00:58:45,400 Speaker 2: powerful to hear like professional male athletes in this case 1199 00:58:45,680 --> 00:58:47,760 Speaker 2: who have mental health challenges, who will say, you know what, 1200 00:58:47,800 --> 00:58:49,760 Speaker 2: I have panic attacks. I'm a I'm a I'm a 1201 00:58:49,760 --> 00:58:52,760 Speaker 2: great professional athlete, and you know, look at me. I'm 1202 00:58:52,840 --> 00:58:55,080 Speaker 2: you know, I'm I've succeeded at the highest level in 1203 00:58:55,120 --> 00:58:59,040 Speaker 2: my sport, but I have issues and and I and 1204 00:58:59,120 --> 00:59:01,920 Speaker 2: I and and that's so okay. Michael Phelps, the greatest 1205 00:59:01,960 --> 00:59:05,360 Speaker 2: swimmer men's swimmer of all time. This is really a 1206 00:59:05,520 --> 00:59:07,480 Speaker 2: powerful part of this. And last thing I want to 1207 00:59:07,480 --> 00:59:10,200 Speaker 2: say about all this, I appreciate again, I appreciate all 1208 00:59:10,240 --> 00:59:14,040 Speaker 2: the opportunities you're giving me to say these things. Sometimes 1209 00:59:14,080 --> 00:59:16,680 Speaker 2: people will say to me or to other men who 1210 00:59:16,760 --> 00:59:20,880 Speaker 2: talk about the issues in this way, they'll say, you're 1211 00:59:20,880 --> 00:59:22,880 Speaker 2: trying to make men soft and weak. And if you 1212 00:59:22,920 --> 00:59:25,880 Speaker 2: listen to Fox's News, they say it all the time, 1213 00:59:25,920 --> 00:59:28,600 Speaker 2: the worsification of America. These the liberals are trying to 1214 00:59:28,640 --> 00:59:31,080 Speaker 2: worsify America. They're trying to make men soft and weak. 1215 00:59:31,480 --> 00:59:33,560 Speaker 2: And it's to me, it's a cartoon. It's like watching 1216 00:59:33,960 --> 00:59:40,360 Speaker 2: a satire. But I reject the idea that I and 1217 00:59:40,440 --> 00:59:43,840 Speaker 2: others are trying to make men soft and weak. I 1218 00:59:43,880 --> 00:59:45,400 Speaker 2: think I want to be strong. I think I'm a 1219 00:59:45,400 --> 00:59:47,600 Speaker 2: strong man. I think that I want my son to 1220 00:59:47,600 --> 00:59:50,000 Speaker 2: be a strong man, and he is a strong young man. 1221 00:59:50,360 --> 00:59:52,320 Speaker 2: The question is not whether we want men to be strong. 1222 00:59:52,360 --> 00:59:54,560 Speaker 2: The question is how do you define strength? And how 1223 00:59:54,560 --> 00:59:57,440 Speaker 2: do you define strength? Is it this cartoonish ability to 1224 00:59:57,480 --> 01:00:02,200 Speaker 2: impose your will on another person and dominate? Is that strength? Really? 1225 01:00:02,240 --> 01:00:04,120 Speaker 2: In the twenty first century, are we supposed to take 1226 01:00:04,120 --> 01:00:07,600 Speaker 2: that seriously as the definition of strength? What about moral courage? 1227 01:00:07,920 --> 01:00:10,920 Speaker 2: What about courage to do something even though there's going 1228 01:00:10,960 --> 01:00:12,680 Speaker 2: to be a consequence for you that's negative because it's 1229 01:00:12,680 --> 01:00:14,960 Speaker 2: the right thing to do. What about social courage, which 1230 01:00:15,000 --> 01:00:17,920 Speaker 2: is to say, speaking up in the face of you know, abuse. 1231 01:00:18,280 --> 01:00:20,320 Speaker 2: You know, it's whether it's you know, your friends of 1232 01:00:20,320 --> 01:00:23,640 Speaker 2: yours making derogatory comments, or online spaces where guys are 1233 01:00:23,640 --> 01:00:26,640 Speaker 2: being really disrespectful to girls or women and calling them 1234 01:00:26,640 --> 01:00:28,960 Speaker 2: out and saying, hey, that's not cool. What about you know, 1235 01:00:29,040 --> 01:00:32,200 Speaker 2: resilience in the face of adversity. These are all these 1236 01:00:32,240 --> 01:00:37,040 Speaker 2: are evidence of strength and courage and positive, you know, 1237 01:00:37,680 --> 01:00:40,360 Speaker 2: positive positive qualities. I think we need to say to 1238 01:00:40,600 --> 01:00:43,520 Speaker 2: young men and older men, we want you to be strong, 1239 01:00:43,560 --> 01:00:45,720 Speaker 2: but we want you to expand your definition of strength. 1240 01:00:45,800 --> 01:00:47,920 Speaker 2: And the reason why that's so I think so helpful 1241 01:00:48,200 --> 01:00:52,280 Speaker 2: is because it's positive and aspirational. It's calling men into 1242 01:00:52,320 --> 01:00:55,400 Speaker 2: good behavior rather than calling them out for bad behavior. 1243 01:00:55,520 --> 01:00:57,280 Speaker 2: And I think if you call them into good behavior 1244 01:00:57,280 --> 01:00:58,840 Speaker 2: and say, we need more men with the guts to 1245 01:00:58,840 --> 01:01:01,680 Speaker 2: speak up, we need more young men who the courage 1246 01:01:01,720 --> 01:01:06,240 Speaker 2: to say misogyny is not cool. Treating women with disrespect 1247 01:01:06,320 --> 01:01:08,240 Speaker 2: is not going to get you my respect. It's not 1248 01:01:08,240 --> 01:01:11,200 Speaker 2: going to get you my admiration because you know what, 1249 01:01:11,240 --> 01:01:13,840 Speaker 2: you've got some issues. If we had more men who 1250 01:01:13,840 --> 01:01:15,680 Speaker 2: are willing to say that, and young men willing to 1251 01:01:15,720 --> 01:01:18,240 Speaker 2: say that, then we would we would begin to counteract 1252 01:01:18,280 --> 01:01:21,080 Speaker 2: some of these harmful things that are happening in men's lives. 1253 01:01:21,240 --> 01:01:23,160 Speaker 2: And I think a lot of young men seek connection, 1254 01:01:23,280 --> 01:01:26,440 Speaker 2: they want relationships, they want intimacy in their lives. But 1255 01:01:26,480 --> 01:01:29,760 Speaker 2: if they're going down the route of hardening up, getting tough, 1256 01:01:30,160 --> 01:01:33,840 Speaker 2: you know, being sort of you know, hiding in their shell, 1257 01:01:33,920 --> 01:01:39,000 Speaker 2: if you will, and inhabiting this angry world of the 1258 01:01:39,120 --> 01:01:42,880 Speaker 2: manisphere and the sort of the right wing populist movement, 1259 01:01:43,680 --> 01:01:45,560 Speaker 2: that's not going to get them what they want. That's 1260 01:01:45,600 --> 01:01:47,160 Speaker 2: not going to get them the love and the connection 1261 01:01:47,240 --> 01:01:49,960 Speaker 2: and the intimacy that they crave. So I think we 1262 01:01:50,040 --> 01:01:52,080 Speaker 2: have to say it in terms of men's self interest 1263 01:01:52,160 --> 01:01:55,200 Speaker 2: and boys self interest. It's in women's self interest. Gender 1264 01:01:55,200 --> 01:01:58,000 Speaker 2: equality and gender justice is obviously in women's self interest, 1265 01:01:58,200 --> 01:02:00,480 Speaker 2: but it's also in men's self interest. And I think 1266 01:02:00,560 --> 01:02:03,080 Speaker 2: if people can hear that, I think we have you know, 1267 01:02:03,240 --> 01:02:04,360 Speaker 2: we've made a lot of progress. 1268 01:02:04,960 --> 01:02:07,720 Speaker 1: Jackson Katz, thanks for joining us in this podcast A 1269 01:02:07,760 --> 01:02:11,320 Speaker 1: hell of a way and close out this podcast. Thank 1270 01:02:11,360 --> 01:02:13,480 Speaker 1: you for your work, thank you for your advocacy, thank 1271 01:02:13,480 --> 01:02:16,880 Speaker 1: you for your clarity, your conviction, and thank you for 1272 01:02:16,920 --> 01:02:19,320 Speaker 1: being at this for decades and decades. 1273 01:02:20,160 --> 01:02:22,160 Speaker 2: Thanks Governor, and thanks thanks so much for giving me 1274 01:02:22,200 --> 01:02:25,320 Speaker 2: this opportunity and for having these conversations right on. I 1275 01:02:25,680 --> 01:02:29,240 Speaker 2: really appreciate that, that leadership and that thought leadership and 1276 01:02:29,320 --> 01:02:33,520 Speaker 2: your commitment. Thank you, I appreciate it. Thank you,