Speaker 1: Hey, it's me Jenny Garth, one of your hosts here
Speaker 1: at I Do Part two. We were talking with doctor
Speaker 1: Hillary and there was just so much more that I
Speaker 1: need to ask her, So let's jump back into that conversation.
Speaker 1: The hardest part for me was the kids of it
Speaker 1: all and just that enormous guilt that I was ruining
Speaker 1: their lives forever. And it was really really hard for me.
Speaker 1: And I can remember the only thing, the only tool
Speaker 1: that I heard from somebody along the way was I
Speaker 1: would say to them in those moments when they were
Speaker 1: showing me how hurt and upset they were, I wish
Speaker 1: I had a magic wand and I could wave it
Speaker 1: and everything would be okay. But I don't.
Speaker 2: But I love that you said this them, So you
Speaker 2: did have tools that That's a version of what I'm
Speaker 2: really saying here. And this is the hard thing as
Speaker 2: a parent that is part of the decision to divorce,
Speaker 2: or at least had to agree to the divorce is
Speaker 2: saying to our kids some version of I can't fix it.
Speaker 2: It's the last thing we want to say to our kids.
Speaker 2: But the best thing to say to our kids their
Speaker 2: reality is that it's not okay, and They don't want
Speaker 2: to hear all the ways that it's okay. They want
Speaker 2: to hear that you get it, that it hurts, and
Speaker 2: that it doesn't feel better yet. Will it feel better? Yes, absolutely,
Speaker 2: it will feel better. It will feel better tomorrow in
Speaker 2: a certain way, in a year, in a certain way,
Speaker 2: in ten years, in a certain way. It will feel
Speaker 2: better along the trajectory, along the journey. We all know
Speaker 2: adults who are children of divorce and they're okay, they
Speaker 2: find their way right. But Parado kids have divorced find
Speaker 2: their way much more easily if their trauma and their
Speaker 2: ongoing pain is honored and acknowledged and validated and discussed
Speaker 2: and not tried to make okay right, because that's their reality.
Speaker 2: It's never going to be okay for a kid that
Speaker 2: their mom and dad are together. I mean, there are
Speaker 2: may be exceptions where something crazy toxic was going on, obviously,
Speaker 2: but in general, yeah, I love that you put that
Speaker 2: to them. So you you offer them something critical, which
Speaker 2: is I see you, I know, and I can't fix it,
Speaker 2: and I'm right here with you until it feels just
Speaker 2: a little bit better. You know.
Speaker 1: What do you think about bringing the new significant other
Speaker 1: to a holiday gathering to meet your family for the
Speaker 1: first time. Is that appropriate or is that too much
Speaker 1: for the new person to handle, too much for the
Speaker 1: kids the family to handle.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So, if you come to know me in general,
Speaker 2: I'm a clinician that likes to hold both sides and
Speaker 2: talk about both sides. I am not going to do
Speaker 2: that here. That is a hard no.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I failed. I met my new significant
Speaker 1: other in the beginning of December and he was at
Speaker 1: our house for Christmas. Oh man, Well.
Speaker 2: Look, having said that, are there stories where in theory
Speaker 2: and in concept where I would say no and they
Speaker 2: work out beautifully? Absolutely? I mean I have clients who
Speaker 2: meet someone to introduce them to their kids, like the
Speaker 2: next week, have them move in two weeks later, and
Speaker 2: and how the beautiful mats became loving. So but let
Speaker 2: me tell you why I'm saying now, and that is
Speaker 2: the introduction. It's really about the kids. If there's no
Speaker 2: kids involved, yeah, I mean, if there's no kids involve,
Speaker 2: whatever feels right to the adults involved, I think it's
Speaker 2: just fine. I may have like an opinion one way
Speaker 2: or the other, but I think it's just fine when
Speaker 2: there's kids involved, because it bumps up against what I
Speaker 2: was just talking about, which is like something much deeper
Speaker 2: in our minds. Were like whatever, it's like two hours
Speaker 2: over like a turkey and a couple of like eggnogs.
Speaker 2: It's all good. Other cousins will be there, It'll be
Speaker 2: like so fun, right. But because it bumps up against
Speaker 2: this like deeper, this isn't my dad, my mom is
Speaker 2: moving on it, it sort of kicks up that, like,
Speaker 2: my mom and dad aren't together. Having your kids meet
Speaker 2: your significant other in a very small dose, in a
Speaker 2: super chill environment is what I recommend as a first set.
Speaker 2: So like it's in neutral territory, you know, over a
Speaker 2: coffee or a quick ice cream, depending out of age,
Speaker 2: and it's like an hour and it's like the discussion
Speaker 2: beforehand is version of what I was just talking about. Like,
Speaker 2: so you've known about Joe for a long time, but
Speaker 2: this is different. I'm telling you he's so important to
Speaker 2: me that I want you, who was the most important
Speaker 2: person to be in the world, to meet him, and
Speaker 2: that that's a big message. Well bring up a lot
Speaker 2: of feelings, you know, really, and it's adjusted for the
Speaker 2: kids sixteen versus six, But you get what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: So wow, that's a that's a that's that's a that's
Speaker 2: a moment. You know, how do you feel about it?
Speaker 2: Here's my idea. We're going to meet Joe at the
Speaker 2: yogurt shop tomorrow after school for an hour. We're just
Speaker 2: gonna have an ice cream and you'll get to stay
Speaker 2: hi and you can show him your favorite doll and
Speaker 2: then like that's it. Then maybe we'll see him again
Speaker 2: another time after right, And so that it's it's it's
Speaker 2: really low pressure. It has a finite aspect to it
Speaker 2: and feels kid centered, which I think matters that. It's like,
Speaker 2: I mean, you're not going to say what I'm going
Speaker 2: to say right now, but some version of like your
Speaker 2: comfort matters to me, your feeling state matters to me.
Speaker 2: So this is slow, this is intentional, This is no pressure,
Speaker 2: and the meeting itself is really more about Joe meeting
Speaker 2: the kids versus the kids just witnessing Mom with Joe
Speaker 2: in their new relationship. It's a way to like bring
Speaker 2: them in as a part of it as opposed to
Speaker 2: just like a witness of it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because they are a part of it.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, That's that's the intention. And so slow rolling it
Speaker 2: in the way that I was just describing, I think
Speaker 2: sets up the entire system for the most success, but
Speaker 2: particularly that relationship between the kids and Joe, because it
Speaker 2: doesn't feel like too much at once and like a here,
Speaker 2: he's here, and accept him. Right. It's it's the initial
Speaker 2: meeting is not about the kid witnessing your connection with Joe,
Speaker 2: or rather about Joe and the kids just get to
Speaker 2: know each other, to know each other, and then the
Speaker 2: next time it's two hours you go bowling, and then
Speaker 2: the next time it's a movie and dinner, and then
Speaker 2: from there you're starting to expand. Again, this is super prescriptive.
Speaker 2: It can work in an absence of all of this,
Speaker 2: but from a clinical standpoint, now that we have the
Speaker 2: information we've been talking about, I imagine what I'm saying
Speaker 2: makes sense and that ideally, and if you're looking for
Speaker 2: like a little bit of a map, that's the one
Speaker 2: I would pick.
Speaker 1: That's a good map. Oh I was flying mapless. Okay,
Speaker 1: what do you think about people who have a checklist
Speaker 1: of must haves in a partner? I know I in
Speaker 1: my work. After my divorce, I had to sit down
Speaker 1: and think about what was important to me looking forward
Speaker 1: into another relationship, and my therapist at that time called
Speaker 1: at my non negotiables, where that there were certain things
Speaker 1: that were very very important to me to build that relationship.
Speaker 2: On exactly the phrase I was going to introduce as well,
Speaker 2: non negotiables and just to think more about it for
Speaker 2: the folks listening, these are things that like they're just
Speaker 2: deal breakers that have now decided post divorce with great
Speaker 2: intention and analysis, you cannot live without, you cannot endure.
Speaker 2: And I mean those might be things anything from he
Speaker 2: lives a certain number of miles away, to he does
Speaker 2: have kids he doesn't have kids, to he cares about communication,
Speaker 2: to his adventures, lifestyle, whatever the things are, and that
Speaker 2: is personal and concrete. So concretize those non negotiables, those
Speaker 2: deal breakers for yourself. And it sounds like you did
Speaker 2: in a way that is externalized. Don't let it be
Speaker 2: vague and more like, really decide what are those things
Speaker 2: and if you sit down with your piece of paper
Speaker 2: or you're fried or your therapist, I don't know. Oh,
Speaker 2: I think it's one thing yesterday and one thing tomorrow.
Speaker 2: That's okay. I'm not surprised you just got out of divorce.
Speaker 2: It's static and you're trying to find your feet on
Speaker 2: the ground. So don't despair if you don't know or
Speaker 2: it keeps changing, but don't give up on it. Right,
Speaker 2: It's a process. And like we were talking about at
Speaker 2: the beginning, if you think your non negotiables are you know,
Speaker 2: these top three things, and then you meet someone and
Speaker 2: he has kids and you were sure you didn't want
Speaker 2: to be with someone who has kids. But like all
Speaker 2: the other things are so important, let it be fluid.
Speaker 2: Don't make it all encompassing and all powerful in a
Speaker 2: way that disallows you to be uh, a version of
Speaker 2: like contrived spontanet at spontaneous. Right, all those things to
Speaker 2: shift because you will be growing and shifting post divorce.
Speaker 2: So start the process, but allow it to flow and
Speaker 2: shift and change, and don't shame or criticize yourself if
Speaker 2: it does, in fact, expect it to.
Speaker 1: Yes, should you tell the person about your non negotiables
Speaker 1: or should you keep them to yourself?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a good question. I mean I might not
Speaker 2: just like present it.
Speaker 1: It's like a list. Here, read this and then just
Speaker 1: sign at the bottom that you actually read it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, let me just text you this bullet contract. So
Speaker 2: if you are sure that you want to be with
Speaker 2: someone who is open to having children. That seems like
Speaker 2: a non negotiable that is worthy of sharing. You know,
Speaker 2: I'm not sure you want to use that as like
Speaker 2: your date opener. But again, I would embody that truth
Speaker 2: even in that first meeting, certainly by the second meeting,
Speaker 2: and it's and I would love for people to When
Speaker 2: I use the word embody, it's very deliberate. I don't
Speaker 2: want anyone shrinking and like, well, I just kind of
Speaker 2: want to be with some of them as kids. I
Speaker 2: want you to sit in your truth and try it on,
Speaker 2: even if it changes six months from now. I just
Speaker 2: know in this season of my life, I'm really clear
Speaker 2: I want to be with someone who wants to kids
Speaker 2: as much as I do. It's just it's just something
Speaker 2: I'm so clear on, which feels kind of great. Right.
Speaker 2: There's no apology, there's no further explanation. This is my truth,
Speaker 2: and if the person can't promise or is turned off
Speaker 2: by that, we can thank them for giving us this
Speaker 2: feedback quickly so we don't have to carry on any longer.
Speaker 2: And that might be complex and disappointing and feel rejecting
Speaker 2: in all those things. But if our goal is to
Speaker 2: be embodied right, is to figure out what resonates for
Speaker 2: us and live a life that finally feels like it's
Speaker 2: uplifting and safe and grounded, we must put these things
Speaker 2: out there in this embodied way. This is my truth
Speaker 2: and I'm not going to apologize for it, and I
Speaker 2: would attach that same mindset to really any non negotiable that, like,
Speaker 2: don't apologize for it. You know, I want to be
Speaker 2: with someone that wants to travel three times a year
Speaker 2: I do. Might seem simple, might seem small, might seem nuanced,
Speaker 2: but that's my truth for now. How do you feel
Speaker 2: about travel right that you're just embodying who you are
Speaker 2: at this season and trying on how it feels to
Speaker 2: show up that way.
Speaker 1: I had something so it felt so insignificant, but to
Speaker 1: me it felt it was important. I didn't want to
Speaker 1: be with a smoker.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 1: I didn't want to be with somebody who smoked and
Speaker 1: then for the rest of our lives was sick from it.
Speaker 1: Always had that smell like it was really important to
Speaker 1: me and I and when I met Dave, he smoked,
Speaker 1: and so I immediately thought, oh, well, he's not the
Speaker 1: one for me because he smokes silly as that is.
Speaker 1: And I remember asking, is quitting smoking something that you
Speaker 1: might ever be interested or open to? Do you want
Speaker 1: to smoke forever? What what is it with you and smoking?
Speaker 1: Like I had to instead of just shutting it off
Speaker 1: for myself, I had to do what you said, get
Speaker 1: curious and embody what I wanted, but at the same
Speaker 1: time be curious about what he wanted so that I
Speaker 1: could get that solid information.
Speaker 2: Right, I know that's exactly what I'm talking about. You
Speaker 2: have to show up for yourself and it's not easy.
Speaker 2: That kind of self advocacy.
Speaker 1: Is very scary.
Speaker 2: Yeah, scary, and that feeling I want your listeners to
Speaker 2: understand is ubiquitous. There's nothing wrong with you if that
Speaker 2: feels scary, It is scary to stand in your own
Speaker 2: truth and declare them with risk. Right, he could have
Speaker 2: turned around and said, I'm going to keep doing this.
Speaker 2: If that's a deal breaker for you, then I guess
Speaker 2: this is where we part ways and that might have
Speaker 2: been devastating, right, But to pursue something that is like
Speaker 2: deeply resonating to our soul, which I think is the
Speaker 2: pursuit post divorce. Right, If we're going to get divorced
Speaker 2: and we're going to go through that trauma. We better
Speaker 2: be pursuing something that is like soul worthy, right, you
Speaker 2: better be. We're going to go through all of that,
Speaker 2: And so having a conversation like that's, yes, scary, nothing
Speaker 2: wrong with you. If it's anxiety provoking, all you got
Speaker 2: to do is eke it out I do. You don't
Speaker 2: have to feel confident about it, you don't have to
Speaker 2: not feel scared about it. You just got to get
Speaker 2: the words out right, conceice it until it starts to
Speaker 2: feel a little less scary. But I just love that
Speaker 2: word embodied. It's like just reflecting your truth and allowing
Speaker 2: for that to shift and change and be influenced by
Speaker 2: safe others in our own you know, sort of growth.
Speaker 2: But that's the exact example, a version of the example
Speaker 2: I had in mind.
Speaker 1: A dating coach said that you should only go on
Speaker 1: a date with someone once a week when you're getting
Speaker 1: to know them. Do you think that's a good rule.
Speaker 2: In spite of what I've just said about I've said
Speaker 2: a number of things that are prescriptive in this case. No,
Speaker 2: I don't like over prescribing dating posts. Divorce what it
Speaker 2: should or shouldn't look like. I think it induces a
Speaker 2: lot of confusion and shame and self criticism. Look in
Speaker 2: its extreme, if you're going out four to five nights
Speaker 2: a week and not getting a lot of sleep and
Speaker 2: drinking and in and around lots of different guys, and
Speaker 2: that dynamic starts to feel like a little messy and
Speaker 2: overwhelmed and the opposite of grounding. I think that's something
Speaker 2: to look at. That pattern probably is an ideal in general,
Speaker 2: and certainly not right in the aftermath of divorce. But
Speaker 2: I think having like a once a week is the limit,
Speaker 2: and if more, that's bad. If it less, that's bad.
Speaker 2: It is overly prescriptive and not useful and ends up
Speaker 2: making people feel bad. I'm not really interested in.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the rules of it all are not Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: That's right. So again intuition, you know, back to like, Yeah,
Speaker 2: so lately I've been going out two three times a week?
Speaker 2: How does that feel to me? Is it starting to
Speaker 2: feel like I don't have as much time for self
Speaker 2: care or sleep or my kids? No shame, no criticism, Yeah,
Speaker 2: maybe a little. I wonder if I should try twice
Speaker 2: a week. I wonder what that'll feel like right, you know,
Speaker 2: and just being curious as opposed to the rules, which
Speaker 2: I think end up feeling confusing and shaming. I mean,
Speaker 2: once a week get you decide that and that feels
Speaker 2: right to you, that's great. But if you decide to
Speaker 2: do more when you're getting to know someone, I think
Speaker 2: that's fine. Look, there's the cliche trajectory which plays out
Speaker 2: often enough that post divorce, you meet someone and filling
Speaker 2: in space with that person makes you feel less hard
Speaker 2: things and you aren't thinking about your loneliness and your
Speaker 2: confusion and your anger and your trauma. We want to
Speaker 2: watch out for that. If we are unable to sort
Speaker 2: of reserve time for self reflection to feel all the
Speaker 2: messy feelings, and the main culprit is dating and the
Speaker 2: time spent there, that's something to consider. Getting through divorce
Speaker 2: in a way that is healing and stabilizing requires time
Speaker 2: to reflect and heal and feel all those tricky emotions.
Speaker 2: I don't want to equate it to like, so if
Speaker 2: you're going out more than once a week, that means
Speaker 2: you can't do that. I just want to be conscious
Speaker 2: about it. Am I giving myself time and space and
Speaker 2: mobilizing resources to help myself heal. And if the answer
Speaker 2: is no or like a diminishing yes, we should look
Speaker 2: at that and eliminate the things that are or at
Speaker 2: least modify the things that are getting in the way.
Speaker 1: Right, speaking of rules, what do you think about books
Speaker 1: like the rules or men are from Mars and women
Speaker 1: are for wherever other planet? I can't remember Venus Venus?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: Today? Do those kinds of books help?
Speaker 2: Look? I mean I think some of those concepts were
Speaker 2: created because of patterns that repeat over time. I mean,
Speaker 2: none of us are strangers for the idea that like
Speaker 2: men and women oftentimes think differently and are or less
Speaker 2: emotional about certain things, et cetera. So I think having
Speaker 2: like a language to talk about it is it can
Speaker 2: be useful, like with ourselves between friends with a partner.
Speaker 2: So they have utility because they make those things concretized
Speaker 2: in a way that like we can wrap our brain
Speaker 2: around as opposed to just like the feeling of all
Speaker 2: those experiences. Having said that, I think dialogue and conversation
Speaker 2: and nuance and like the self check in pattern that
Speaker 2: we're talking about is your best tool, not a like
Speaker 2: chapter three pages.
Speaker 1: You know, let me just hold on.
Speaker 2: This is what must be happening. Instead, look in yourself,
Speaker 2: what is happening? What do I understand about it? How
Speaker 2: does it feel in my body? If it's confusing, can
Speaker 2: I say more about it? And what's ever going on
Speaker 2: with the person in front of us being able? I
Speaker 2: mean it depends on the situation. Show I'm over generalizing,
Speaker 2: but to do a version of what you said you
Speaker 2: did in your circumstance, like huh, I'm feeling this thing
Speaker 2: or I'm thinking about this thing, like I just want
Speaker 2: to say it out loud. What do you think? You
Speaker 2: know that we if we get our head to into
Speaker 2: books or like Instagram quotes or it can feel very
Speaker 2: confusing and overwhelming when the answers eventually come within ourselves
Speaker 2: and in dialogue with our potential partners, and if our
Speaker 2: potential partners are unable to sustain a dialogue that is
Speaker 2: delivered in a respectful, digestible way, we need to think
Speaker 2: about that.
Speaker 1: If you've broken up, if you're going through a divorce
Speaker 1: and you're having trouble, you're having a hard time getting
Speaker 1: over your ex spouse, what should we do? I mean,
Speaker 1: what questions should we be asking ourselves so that we
Speaker 1: don't stay stuck. That's the worst when you just can't
Speaker 1: get over it.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, yes, it is the worst. It's deeply painful
Speaker 2: to go through all the things that we're talking about
Speaker 2: and still of the.
Speaker 1: Person, especially if that person is already dating someone else
Speaker 1: moved on.
Speaker 2: It's devastating. And I'll start there, and it's not a
Speaker 2: pleasant concept to consider, but it's like a death that
Speaker 2: induces an incredible amount of grief and all of the
Speaker 2: stages that go with grief, all the anger, all the denial,
Speaker 2: all the bargaining, you know, all that stuff that is
Speaker 2: a little bit cliche, but like, oh so true, you know.
Speaker 2: And there's no avoiding that. There's no amount of like
Speaker 2: dating or bashing him, or a therapy or whatever other
Speaker 2: tools you might mobilize that can be a shortcut of that.
Speaker 2: You're gonna mon it, you're going to agrieve it, and
Speaker 2: you're going to feel the things. And that season of
Speaker 2: life is a little bit of a dark night of
Speaker 2: the soul, right, it is really, really, really had to
Speaker 2: get through so paradoxically, leaning in here it is here,
Speaker 2: it is, I'm leaning in and I'm taking care of
Speaker 2: myself in every way I can think of, and not
Speaker 2: expecting it to feel like better or okay in the
Speaker 2: short run. And I'm like allowing myself to sit in
Speaker 2: it so that as it begins to pass through, which
Speaker 2: it always does. I remind clients all the time. Name
Speaker 2: a feeling state you've had that hasn't changed eventually, No
Speaker 2: such thing. It does change. It does change, and more eventually,
Speaker 2: maybe not tomorrow or even like six months from now
Speaker 2: or twelve months now, shipped and change eventually. And so
Speaker 2: it's about sitting in it, allowing it to come up
Speaker 2: and out from your body in a safe way, and
Speaker 2: just like I said, curate, cultivating as many resources as
Speaker 2: possible as you get through it, being really kind and
Speaker 2: graceful to yourself. And when you have time, I shouldn't
Speaker 2: say time, when you have space to start gently thinking
Speaker 2: about why this person is not a safe choice for
Speaker 2: you any longer. Right, And if the only thing on
Speaker 2: the list is because they don't choose me, that's enough.
Speaker 2: That's not a safe choice for you anymore, even if
Speaker 2: everything else about them is amazing, which is usually not
Speaker 2: the case. But even if it is, that renders it
Speaker 2: an unsafe choice for you. And that doesn't mean it's
Speaker 2: easily accepted, but it's something to start orienting yourself around.
Speaker 2: I can't choose, it doesn't choose me. I can't invest
Speaker 2: in something that isn't reciprocated, and gently starting to understand
Speaker 2: the part of you that's willing to do that for two.
Speaker 1: Oover reminds me just like this hard this hard truth
Speaker 1: that I had when I was going through it was
Speaker 1: the therapist saying, Jenny, why would you love someone who
Speaker 1: doesn't love you back? And that resonated for me in
Speaker 1: my times of missing and wanting and attaching to things.
Speaker 1: I would say that to myself and I would be like,
Speaker 1: I would hate hearing it. Then it started to become like, Okay,
Speaker 1: this is a feeling. It's going to pass. This is temporary.
Speaker 1: I know this only lasts for like three minutes, this
Speaker 1: intense feeling of hurt and pain, And then I would
Speaker 1: replace that with he is not an option for you anymore.
Speaker 1: In my mind, that is not an option, So look
Speaker 1: somewhere else.
Speaker 2: Yes, it is a deeply painful process to not be chosen,
Speaker 2: and there's no way around that. But recognizing that truth
Speaker 2: and building a relationship with it is critical because we
Speaker 2: can't let ourselves orient our heart, mind, body, sould is
Speaker 2: someone who doesn't choose us. It's the ultimate self betrayal. Yeah.
Speaker 2: So it is with great care that we continue to
Speaker 2: like gently pick ourselves up and place ourselves on another path,
Speaker 2: because that path we don't get to be chosen, we
Speaker 2: don't get the love that we deserve. And it's like
Speaker 2: with great sadness and despair to remove ourselves there. But
Speaker 2: we must, we.
Speaker 1: Must, we must survive. Yeah. I love our conversation. Thank
Speaker 1: you so much.
Speaker 2: Oh, have such a pleasure, such an important conversation you
Speaker 2: have I live.
Speaker 1: Yes, thank you for being with us. Yes, of course
Speaker 1: that conversation with doctor Hillary was so incredibly helpful for
Speaker 1: even me. I've been divorced for ten plus years and
Speaker 1: I got so much out of it. And I really
Speaker 1: hope that everybody listening who is in the position of
Speaker 1: thinking about a divorce, in a divorce, just had a divorce.
Speaker 1: I hope that you got some really good info from
Speaker 1: this pod. And I just I know you can do this,
Speaker 1: you will get past this, and we are here to
Speaker 1: help you. So please please, if you want to call
Speaker 1: us for advice one eight four four four I do pod.
Speaker 1: That's eight four four four four three six seven sixty three,
Speaker 1: or you can email us at idopod at iHeartRadio dot com,
Speaker 1: follow us on Instagram and TikTok at ID Part two pod,
Speaker 1: and be sure to check out all the information in
Speaker 1: our show notes. Make sure to rate us and review us.
Speaker 1: I Do Part two an iHeartRadio podcast where falling in
Speaker 1: love is the main objective.