WEBVTT - “I MAY HAVE SOLD YOU DRUGS IN HIGH SCHOOL” 0:00:02.640 --> 0:00:05.440 Well, hello, Hey, what's up man? 0:00:06.120 --> 0:00:06.400 Dude? 0:00:06.440 --> 0:00:08.440 I just wanted to say, like, I remember you used 0:00:08.440 --> 0:00:09.880 to do our morning announcements. 0:00:10.240 --> 0:00:11.959 Dude, you met, You sent me a text and you 0:00:12.000 --> 0:00:13.760 said I wanted to talk about how you used to 0:00:13.760 --> 0:00:18.360 do the morning announcements at our school. Yeah, yeah, you're 0:00:18.400 --> 0:00:22.079 a gecko. Uh yeah, I went to Franklin High School. 0:00:22.760 --> 0:00:25.320 Uh back in weren't you used to dude, they used 0:00:25.360 --> 0:00:26.600 to do our morning announcements. 0:00:26.640 --> 0:00:26.960 Yeah it was. 0:00:27.040 --> 0:00:28.840 Yeah, I used to do the morning announcements of Franklin 0:00:28.920 --> 0:00:36.240 High School back in two thousand, shit those ten years ago. Yeah, 0:00:36.320 --> 0:00:37.440 twenty sixteen. 0:00:38.159 --> 0:00:39.720 That's fucking crazy, dude. 0:00:39.760 --> 0:00:41.720 Now you're a gecko, now, my gecko. 0:00:42.960 --> 0:00:43.559 That's insane. 0:00:43.600 --> 0:00:45.800 That's so inspirational, and you could be anything you ever 0:00:45.840 --> 0:00:46.159 want to. 0:00:48.680 --> 0:00:50.120 I thought, what did you say? Did you think I 0:00:50.200 --> 0:00:51.560 was good at the morning announcements? 0:00:52.200 --> 0:00:52.400 Yeah? 0:00:52.400 --> 0:00:54.880 I thought you were pretty solid at it. I thought 0:00:54.960 --> 0:00:57.040 you going to like a new station or something, but 0:00:57.280 --> 0:00:58.320 you did it your own way. 0:00:59.560 --> 0:00:59.720 What. 0:00:59.880 --> 0:01:02.800 I don't don't give you your last name, but what's 0:01:02.800 --> 0:01:04.160 your first name? I don't know who you are? 0:01:05.000 --> 0:01:07.520 Dan? Daniel? 0:01:07.880 --> 0:01:10.120 Fuck, I actually actually have no idea who you are. 0:01:10.720 --> 0:01:10.920 Dan. 0:01:11.120 --> 0:01:13.360 Yeah, you were you graduated like I think a year 0:01:13.400 --> 0:01:15.399 or two before I did. I graduated twenty eighteen. 0:01:15.800 --> 0:01:16.840 Wait, do we know each other? 0:01:17.920 --> 0:01:19.319 You probably know my older cousin. 0:01:20.720 --> 0:01:22.400 What's your older cousin's first name? 0:01:23.240 --> 0:01:23.559 Alan? 0:01:26.720 --> 0:01:34.399 Did your older cousin once throw a huge party? Dude? 0:01:36.360 --> 0:01:42.320 That was he did once? 0:01:44.280 --> 0:01:46.759 Were you were you there? 0:01:47.640 --> 0:01:50.080 I was not. He actually dicked me. He didn't invite me. 0:01:50.680 --> 0:01:53.080 He didn't fucking invite you. I don't think he invited me. 0:01:53.120 --> 0:01:54.120 I think I just showed up. 0:01:54.800 --> 0:01:57.240 He just dicked me. I live right down the street too. 0:01:57.280 --> 0:01:58.200 I kind of touched off. 0:01:58.680 --> 0:02:00.840 That was a legend. That was a legendary party. I 0:02:00.920 --> 0:02:04.160 remember showing up at that party and feeling like it's 0:02:04.200 --> 0:02:06.800 maybe the weirdest I've felt in my whole Some of 0:02:06.800 --> 0:02:09.560 the weirdest I've ever felt in my whole life is 0:02:09.600 --> 0:02:13.200 like being at like a college party where I can 0:02:13.360 --> 0:02:15.600 not a cost the high school party, where like I 0:02:15.639 --> 0:02:20.639 could see other people like who were good at socializing 0:02:20.680 --> 0:02:22.600 and like being whatever. I was so nervous. I was 0:02:22.639 --> 0:02:26.359 just like standing in I remember, just like I was 0:02:26.400 --> 0:02:29.600 at the party. I was just standing in one spot, 0:02:30.680 --> 0:02:34.399 just trying really hard to like get through the night 0:02:34.560 --> 0:02:36.919 or find someone that I knew that I could talk 0:02:36.960 --> 0:02:39.200 to just to like get through the night. I used 0:02:39.240 --> 0:02:42.840 to be really bad. I used to be a little bit. Yeah, 0:02:44.080 --> 0:02:47.280 I used to just like not know how to just 0:02:47.360 --> 0:02:52.760 inhabit space. I had so much social anxiety. And then 0:02:52.760 --> 0:02:54.880 what happens is, over the course of the next ten years, 0:02:54.919 --> 0:02:59.040 I slowly realized that uh uh, nothing and no one 0:02:59.120 --> 0:03:01.160 matters at all, And now I have and now I 0:03:01.200 --> 0:03:04.480 don't have enough social anxiety. I actually need more to 0:03:06.560 --> 0:03:15.080 prevent myself from uh uh, annoying someone by talking to them. Yeah, 0:03:15.160 --> 0:03:17.040 that's not true. I actually I do. I do still 0:03:17.040 --> 0:03:21.640 have social anxiety in some situations, but less of in 0:03:21.760 --> 0:03:24.560 less of a like, No, that's not true. I have 0:03:24.560 --> 0:03:26.440 social anxiety in some situations. I was recently in a 0:03:26.480 --> 0:03:28.640 situation where I had some social anxiety. But I also 0:03:30.080 --> 0:03:34.200 I don't social this is I don't. I've kind of 0:03:34.200 --> 0:03:37.600 come to the conclusion. I've come to the conclusion that 0:03:37.720 --> 0:03:41.160 I am correct in all of my social interactions, not 0:03:41.360 --> 0:03:45.080 in the sense of like I'm like right about everything, 0:03:45.160 --> 0:03:49.040 but that as long as I'm not being a dick, like, 0:03:49.480 --> 0:03:52.160 however our interaction goes is fine. Like if I'm a 0:03:52.200 --> 0:03:56.000 little awkward or if I'm a little cringey or whatever, like, 0:03:56.080 --> 0:03:59.640 that's fine. I'm still I'm valid in my own existence 0:03:59.760 --> 0:04:03.800 as a human being, and so I don't there's no 0:04:03.800 --> 0:04:06.080 way for me to embarrass myself in front of someone. 0:04:06.400 --> 0:04:10.240 There's only like, there's only like I like, if I'm 0:04:10.280 --> 0:04:12.520 like being a dick or if I'm being rude, that's different. 0:04:12.520 --> 0:04:16.000 But there's no way for me to like be annoying. 0:04:16.320 --> 0:04:18.080 I mean, I could, you could be annoying, but you're 0:04:18.120 --> 0:04:21.159 still if you're annoying, you can still be correct and 0:04:21.279 --> 0:04:23.680 valid in your existence. Do you know what I do? 0:04:23.680 --> 0:04:24.440 You get what I'm saying? 0:04:25.360 --> 0:04:27.680 I do get what you're saying. It's it's deep. It's 0:04:27.800 --> 0:04:30.440 like if you're if you're trying to just speak your arm, 0:04:31.200 --> 0:04:35.080 you know, and like you're not being disrespectful, Like there's 0:04:35.080 --> 0:04:37.359 no way you could be wrong technically. 0:04:37.320 --> 0:04:41.520 Exactly right, exactly because the social anxiety comes from like, oh, 0:04:41.560 --> 0:04:43.359 people are judging me, and it's like, well, judging you 0:04:43.440 --> 0:04:45.479 on what you know, what the. 0:04:45.839 --> 0:04:47.600 Dress up as a get go for the first time? 0:04:47.640 --> 0:04:48.560 What inspired that? 0:04:52.040 --> 0:04:52.240 Wait? 0:04:52.279 --> 0:04:53.800 What are you doing now, Daniel? What do you what 0:04:54.400 --> 0:04:55.520 do you what did you grow up to be? 0:04:56.560 --> 0:04:58.720 Oh, I'm accounting, but I just got fired. 0:04:59.120 --> 0:05:01.560 So, oh, you get why'd you get fired? 0:05:02.600 --> 0:05:05.559 I said it was performance related, but it was really 0:05:05.720 --> 0:05:06.839 I think because I took. 0:05:06.680 --> 0:05:07.480 Some time off work. 0:05:08.400 --> 0:05:11.840 Okay, well, yeah, they probably weren't happy about it around this. 0:05:11.920 --> 0:05:13.920 What did you take? What did you take time off 0:05:13.920 --> 0:05:14.240 to do? 0:05:18.080 --> 0:05:19.479 Uh? 0:05:19.560 --> 0:05:22.720 How do I explain the how do you I spent 0:05:22.800 --> 0:05:25.400 some I spent some time in jail. Let's just let's 0:05:25.400 --> 0:05:25.800 just say that. 0:05:26.400 --> 0:05:33.760 Oh, okay, is that related to why you got fired? 0:05:34.800 --> 0:05:38.120 Probably they said it was performance related, but I mean 0:05:38.160 --> 0:05:41.560 you take some time off and uh, you know you're 0:05:41.600 --> 0:05:42.960 performance really in it. 0:05:44.080 --> 0:05:46.520 I mean when you say you took some time off, 0:05:46.680 --> 0:05:50.680 did you like call out of work for personal reasons 0:05:50.720 --> 0:05:52.520 and not explain why? Like how long were you in 0:05:52.600 --> 0:05:52.960 jail for? 0:05:53.160 --> 0:05:54.720 No? Yeah, like I told him, Hey, I got some 0:05:54.800 --> 0:05:57.600 personal stuff going on, like I had to messag, jump 0:05:57.600 --> 0:05:58.400 off my laptop. 0:05:58.520 --> 0:06:01.279 Okay, all right, So how long were you in jail for? For? 0:06:01.440 --> 0:06:02.279 Like ten days? 0:06:02.480 --> 0:06:04.240 It was a fun experience at all. 0:06:07.080 --> 0:06:10.039 I highly recommend that not be a good experience and 0:06:10.200 --> 0:06:11.039 not to go there. 0:06:11.839 --> 0:06:15.000 What hap what happens? 0:06:15.440 --> 0:06:16.080 What happened? 0:06:16.320 --> 0:06:17.800 I don't I really don't want to talk about the 0:06:17.839 --> 0:06:18.880 details because the storm. 0:06:18.920 --> 0:06:21.560 I'm going, well, you don't have to, but like can 0:06:21.600 --> 0:06:25.320 I what what? What can we hear? Because I'm so 0:06:26.520 --> 0:06:29.520 we I feel like I gotta know some I. 0:06:29.480 --> 0:06:36.520 Mean, like long story short, like a domestic situation where 0:06:37.080 --> 0:06:40.039 my ex started breaking things and called the cops and 0:06:40.120 --> 0:06:41.440 I was when I got in trouble. 0:06:41.960 --> 0:06:45.920 Okay, all right. I thought I thought I would have 0:06:45.920 --> 0:06:48.160 thought I would I I knowing, I thought you were. 0:06:48.240 --> 0:06:49.320 I thought you were trapping. 0:06:50.440 --> 0:06:53.240 No no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I did 0:06:53.279 --> 0:06:54.120 that back in the day. 0:06:54.640 --> 0:06:56.679 Yeah that runs of the family. 0:06:57.880 --> 0:07:01.640 Not in the family, No, just just the mind, dumb 0:07:01.640 --> 0:07:01.920 ass on. 0:07:02.200 --> 0:07:03.520 I thought your cousin trapped? 0:07:04.760 --> 0:07:08.640 No, no, what were you? 0:07:08.800 --> 0:07:10.040 Were you trapping? In high school? 0:07:11.000 --> 0:07:11.520 A little bit? 0:07:11.600 --> 0:07:13.440 Yeah? Here and there Ermin and German? 0:07:13.920 --> 0:07:15.560 Did I ever buy weed? Did I ever buy weed 0:07:15.600 --> 0:07:16.480 for you in high school? 0:07:17.200 --> 0:07:19.120 I don't remember. I really don't it. 0:07:19.160 --> 0:07:22.000 Maybe who who did you sell weed to? In high school? 0:07:22.000 --> 0:07:24.600 Give me their full name. Don't give me their full name, 0:07:24.640 --> 0:07:25.480 give me their first name. 0:07:26.080 --> 0:07:28.200 There was a lot of people that were like, I don't, 0:07:28.240 --> 0:07:30.840 I don't know, like I don't, I don't even like 0:07:31.640 --> 0:07:34.040 it's so long ago, I don't even remember. Like everyone 0:07:34.240 --> 0:07:36.120 it was a lot of different random people from all 0:07:36.560 --> 0:07:39.520 took me really to the random at parts of Maryland, 0:07:40.200 --> 0:07:45.240 a farm where I myself in like Prell County. 0:07:45.440 --> 0:07:46.800 Can I be? Can I actually be honest with you? 0:07:46.880 --> 0:07:47.240 Be something? 0:07:47.440 --> 0:07:49.800 So when I was in high school, I had a 0:07:49.840 --> 0:07:55.280 lot of friends who trapped, and it always that was 0:07:55.400 --> 0:07:58.280 kind of that actually might still to this day be 0:07:59.440 --> 0:08:01.640 one of my great aspiration. I mean, it's never gonna 0:08:01.640 --> 0:08:06.320 come to It's another lifetime, right, But like selling, we 0:08:06.840 --> 0:08:08.640 like being, you know, being twenty, Like Okay, what am 0:08:08.640 --> 0:08:13.880 I gonna say? Like the lifestyle of trapping while you're 0:08:13.880 --> 0:08:16.680 in high school, it always looked so fun to me. 0:08:17.160 --> 0:08:18.080 It wouldn't be fun to do. 0:08:18.280 --> 0:08:26.560 I remember this guy named Sasha, I tell tell me more, bro, 0:08:26.760 --> 0:08:29.520 He's mean, he's just gotten himself in like the craziest 0:08:29.560 --> 0:08:31.040 situations I've ever heard of. 0:08:31.880 --> 0:08:34.240 Yeah, like like the like all the guys who would 0:08:34.240 --> 0:08:36.040 like and I was friends with some of them, like 0:08:36.080 --> 0:08:39.280 the dude, the drug dealer guys. They always seemed like 0:08:39.320 --> 0:08:42.400 they were having like I'm sure it was like it 0:08:42.440 --> 0:08:44.960 was stressful. There was like a ton of like obviously 0:08:45.000 --> 0:08:48.080 you know you're uh. This was like ten years ago 0:08:48.120 --> 0:08:52.720 before weed was like fucking legal everywhere, but like there 0:08:52.800 --> 0:08:56.160 was always like like obviously it's a lot of stress, 0:08:56.160 --> 0:08:57.439 like you can get caught, you go to jail for 0:08:57.480 --> 0:09:00.280 a long time, but it just looked fun like some 0:09:00.480 --> 0:09:02.680 like like one of the things I love about like 0:09:02.720 --> 0:09:06.600 my life right now is like I love running around, 0:09:07.360 --> 0:09:09.440 you know, like I like being able to like travel 0:09:09.920 --> 0:09:12.679 running around. They would always be running around. They're always 0:09:12.760 --> 0:09:14.880 running around, like they're alway, They're always getting a text 0:09:14.960 --> 0:09:17.440 from some guy. They're always like they seemed like it 0:09:17.480 --> 0:09:19.840 seemed like they had a lot of friends and like 0:09:19.880 --> 0:09:22.319 they had a lot of places to be. And yes, 0:09:22.800 --> 0:09:25.520 I know, of course it's like, well they're only friends 0:09:25.520 --> 0:09:28.320 with them for their weed or you know this anything, 0:09:28.520 --> 0:09:33.560 but it just seemed like a fun way to like, yes, 0:09:33.600 --> 0:09:35.160 it just seems like a fun way to like connect 0:09:35.200 --> 0:09:36.880 with a bunch of people. Now, listen, I don't want 0:09:36.880 --> 0:09:38.280 to do it now. If I were twenty eight and 0:09:38.320 --> 0:09:40.720 selling weed the high schoolers, I that does not sound 0:09:40.760 --> 0:09:44.080 like a fun experience. But being sixteen and just like 0:09:44.200 --> 0:09:47.640 driving around like you would smoke everyone up, you know, 0:09:47.960 --> 0:09:51.960 like because everyone knew that you were fucking uh, that 0:09:52.040 --> 0:09:54.080 you were packing right, and you kind of felt like 0:09:54.080 --> 0:09:56.160 the man. You kind of felt like an alpha provider. 0:09:56.840 --> 0:10:00.440 You know, you were like packing everyone's bowl, Like I 0:10:00.640 --> 0:10:02.520 just the kids, the kids who did that. I just 0:10:02.679 --> 0:10:06.040 was like I always envied that lifestyle. I was wondering 0:10:06.040 --> 0:10:06.439 how they got it. 0:10:06.559 --> 0:10:08.360 Do you remember do you remember there used to be 0:10:08.400 --> 0:10:11.320 a lifestyle where people used to buy like glass and 0:10:11.440 --> 0:10:15.760 bongs for like thousands of dollars, and like you would 0:10:15.760 --> 0:10:17.720 walk into the plug's house and he would have like 0:10:17.800 --> 0:10:21.800 a bong or like a fucking y rig that he's like, 0:10:21.880 --> 0:10:23.440 you know, this thing is made by. 0:10:25.040 --> 0:10:26.040 Some wook on. 0:10:26.040 --> 0:10:29.560 Top of a mountain with the lightning stright, and he 0:10:29.640 --> 0:10:30.199 carves his. 0:10:30.280 --> 0:10:31.120 Name into it. 0:10:31.360 --> 0:10:34.120 You can see, like with a lead pencil. He carves 0:10:34.160 --> 0:10:37.839 his name into it. And yes, it's the most rare 0:10:37.880 --> 0:10:40.200 thing on earth. If you smoke out of this thing, 0:10:40.440 --> 0:10:42.240 if she smoked this hash out of this, it will 0:10:42.280 --> 0:10:42.959 cure cancer. 0:10:43.480 --> 0:10:45.040 Yes, absolutely. 0:10:46.559 --> 0:10:47.880 No. You can't use tap. 0:10:47.720 --> 0:10:50.560 Water in my bong. It'll leave a mark. You have 0:10:50.640 --> 0:10:52.280 to distilled water. 0:10:52.800 --> 0:10:55.640 Yes, absolutely no. I remember like there was a certain 0:10:55.880 --> 0:11:01.680 level of Again, I like, everything is like there's so 0:11:01.800 --> 0:11:06.240 many there's so many pros and cons to like the 0:11:06.360 --> 0:11:10.160 ten year experience of realizing that like, none of none, 0:11:10.200 --> 0:11:12.160 none of the fucking shit matters, because I kind of 0:11:12.640 --> 0:11:19.000 miss back in the day when uh, like, social status 0:11:19.440 --> 0:11:24.520 was so easily pronounced by just like who had the 0:11:24.600 --> 0:11:28.160 coolest and most expensive rig. You'd go to the plugs 0:11:28.160 --> 0:11:30.360 house and you'd have, yeah, like a fucking Rick and 0:11:30.440 --> 0:11:34.520 Morty bong that was worth like one thousand dollars, and 0:11:34.559 --> 0:11:36.080 you'd be like, holy shit, how did this guy get 0:11:36.120 --> 0:11:39.520 a thousand dollars piece? And now if you go to 0:11:39.920 --> 0:11:41.520 if you go to your friend's house and he has 0:11:41.559 --> 0:11:43.640 like a thousand dollars bong, You're like, dude, what are 0:11:43.640 --> 0:11:44.600 you doing with your life? 0:11:46.200 --> 0:11:46.400 Hey? 0:11:46.440 --> 0:11:48.720 Man, I got to bounce off the phone in a second. 0:11:48.800 --> 0:11:50.280 But it was good chatting with you. 0:11:50.280 --> 0:11:51.839 Man, Yeah, it was a good chat. 0:11:53.280 --> 0:11:55.480 Definitely good Ermin and German on the phone and like 0:11:55.559 --> 0:11:57.320 reminiscent a little bit about the path. 0:11:58.200 --> 0:12:02.960 Well yeah, maybe in another life I'll sell way to 0:12:02.960 --> 0:12:06.160 you in high school, in whatever the next universe we 0:12:06.160 --> 0:12:06.880 we inhabit is. 0:12:07.760 --> 0:12:09.720 Yeah, man, come buy Riser Tound sometime. 0:12:10.800 --> 0:12:14.400 All right, wait, what's going on over there? Absolutely nothing 0:12:15.160 --> 0:12:19.360 sounds fun. It's all right, man, Well good luck, I'll 0:12:19.360 --> 0:12:20.800 see I'll see you around the universe. Wait, what do 0:12:20.840 --> 0:12:21.960 you wait? What are you gonna go do? What are 0:12:21.960 --> 0:12:22.640 you doing right now? 0:12:23.400 --> 0:12:24.920 I'm actually about to go buy a car. 0:12:26.400 --> 0:12:28.200 At a car Okay, car two. 0:12:28.080 --> 0:12:30.760 Thousand and four Mercedes Benz E five hundred. 0:12:31.160 --> 0:12:32.240 Well who you buying it from? 0:12:33.360 --> 0:12:33.720 Uh? 0:12:33.800 --> 0:12:36.000 Somebody in the city. I'm actually sending my friends to 0:12:36.000 --> 0:12:39.600 buy it because I think it's just a better idea. 0:12:40.440 --> 0:12:42.120 Wait, so why do you have to leave if your 0:12:42.120 --> 0:12:43.199 friends are going to go buy it? 0:12:44.080 --> 0:12:47.000 I'm not They're here to like pick like pick up 0:12:47.040 --> 0:12:49.000 some stuff and go do that for me. But I'm 0:12:49.000 --> 0:12:50.600 on hoom detention, so I can't wait. 0:12:50.640 --> 0:12:54.200 If you're okay, I was gonna ask why you couldn't 0:12:54.240 --> 0:12:56.040 go that you have. That's nice of your friends to 0:12:56.080 --> 0:12:56.320 do that. 0:12:57.320 --> 0:12:59.640 Yeah, anyway, I got to bounce off the phone man. 0:13:00.320 --> 0:13:04.040 All right, another time. 0:13:04.360 --> 0:13:10.240 I'll see you around the universe. See you, Dan. God 0:13:10.320 --> 0:13:12.800 the party that that guy's cousin through was I was 0:13:12.800 --> 0:13:18.880 an awful night in my life, so racked with anxiety 0:13:18.960 --> 0:13:28.000 and I know how to even do anything. Fucking Dan, dude. Well, 0:13:28.400 --> 0:13:31.520 I'm glad to see he turned out. Okay, glad to 0:13:31.520 --> 0:13:35.600 see you turned out. Well, everything works out in the end. 0:13:37.800 --> 0:13:40.120 To accept press one to send a voicemail. 0:13:40.679 --> 0:13:41.120 Hello. 0:13:41.520 --> 0:13:42.560 Oh hey, what's that man? 0:13:43.080 --> 0:13:43.679 What's your name? 0:13:43.760 --> 0:13:48.000 Dude? Uh? You can call me beat b B. 0:13:48.800 --> 0:13:50.439 What's going on? B? How's life? 0:13:51.320 --> 0:13:54.719 Life is life? And you know I been going through 0:13:54.720 --> 0:13:58.560 a rough patch, but just closed on a house the 0:13:58.600 --> 0:13:59.760 other day, and you know, chilling? 0:14:01.400 --> 0:14:05.240 What's been rough? How about this this here patch? 0:14:06.880 --> 0:14:07.520 Uh? 0:14:08.000 --> 0:14:11.480 So went through a bit of depression after I stopped 0:14:11.559 --> 0:14:17.600 drinking alcohol sober now? And then I cheated on my 0:14:17.640 --> 0:14:18.640 wife with her sister. 0:14:19.400 --> 0:14:23.800 Oh okay, why why I keep going? 0:14:23.880 --> 0:14:30.480 Yeah? No, just poor decisions and very bad mental health. 0:14:33.160 --> 0:14:38.440 So you're so, I actually find this fascinating because I'm 0:14:39.240 --> 0:14:41.480 so quitting drinking made you more depressed? 0:14:41.880 --> 0:14:46.200 Yeah, because I had coped with like depression for like 0:14:46.280 --> 0:14:50.840 eight or nine years with alcohol and alcohol alone. So 0:14:51.080 --> 0:14:54.400 once I stopped drinking, I didn't have that coping any 0:14:54.440 --> 0:14:55.440 coping skills. 0:14:57.720 --> 0:15:00.360 So what how are you? When did you quit drinking? 0:15:00.360 --> 0:15:01.280 When did you quit drinking? 0:15:02.280 --> 0:15:04.440 Uh? A little over two years ago? 0:15:05.160 --> 0:15:07.760 Ah, So what do you How do you cope now? 0:15:09.720 --> 0:15:09.880 Uh? 0:15:10.480 --> 0:15:12.320 Spend a lot of time with my kid and smoke 0:15:12.360 --> 0:15:17.040 some weed, okay, and play Little Stardy Valley whenever I'm 0:15:17.040 --> 0:15:19.360 not working on my house now, so. 0:15:19.280 --> 0:15:22.120 You swapped alcohol with like weed and video games and 0:15:22.160 --> 0:15:22.960 hanging out with your kid. 0:15:23.600 --> 0:15:26.000 Kind of been spending as much time as I can 0:15:26.040 --> 0:15:26.480 with my kid. 0:15:27.120 --> 0:15:27.880 Are you depressed? 0:15:29.520 --> 0:15:32.520 Oh yeah, I would say so. Still on medications, trying 0:15:32.520 --> 0:15:37.000 to find the right one. But you know, getting a 0:15:37.000 --> 0:15:39.520 house is a big step in the right direction for me. 0:15:39.720 --> 0:15:42.040 Pretty good, Pretty good, I've been you. 0:15:42.040 --> 0:15:43.960 Know, I'm thirty and I've been living with my parents 0:15:44.000 --> 0:15:45.280 for like seven months. 0:15:46.120 --> 0:15:48.080 How many kids do you have? 0:15:48.840 --> 0:15:49.880 I only have the one? 0:15:50.600 --> 0:15:51.640 Okay, how old are they? 0:15:53.080 --> 0:15:57.680 He is four years old, and luckily my ex wife 0:15:57.720 --> 0:16:00.520 and I we are able to co parent very well. 0:16:01.600 --> 0:16:03.280 Less in that scenario. 0:16:03.880 --> 0:16:05.600 Is she like still is she still pissed off of 0:16:05.680 --> 0:16:07.920 you for cheating on her with your sister? With her, 0:16:08.080 --> 0:16:11.240 not with if she if you cheat on her with 0:16:11.280 --> 0:16:12.960 your sister, she'd probably be like, you know what, I'm 0:16:12.960 --> 0:16:14.120 not even mad. Just keep them. 0:16:14.800 --> 0:16:20.760 Yeah, she would have. It probably would have been better. Yeah, 0:16:20.800 --> 0:16:25.680 but yeah, that's where my life has been. Uh, just 0:16:25.800 --> 0:16:32.880 trying to fix the uh wreckage I caused and me 0:16:33.000 --> 0:16:36.680 and her sister are no contact because once everything blew up, 0:16:37.560 --> 0:16:39.920 I was like, yo, I fucked up, and then I 0:16:39.960 --> 0:16:40.920 stopped talking to her. 0:16:41.560 --> 0:16:46.840 Hm hm, why did you have some form of like 0:16:46.960 --> 0:16:51.760 actual like romantic relation, Like were you involved with the sister? 0:16:52.720 --> 0:16:58.080 Like it got into like a romantic kind of thing. Uh. 0:16:59.280 --> 0:17:04.520 She I realized, well, well too late and after everything 0:17:04.560 --> 0:17:07.240 blew up that she's like a really good manipulator and 0:17:07.280 --> 0:17:14.560 she took advantage of my depression and where I was mentally. Whoa, 0:17:16.200 --> 0:17:19.159 So I noticed that after I didn't know that that 0:17:19.320 --> 0:17:22.080 was happening at the time. She was feeding me information, 0:17:22.280 --> 0:17:26.880 telling me like how her sister, my wife at the time, 0:17:27.040 --> 0:17:30.359 was wanting to leave me and all this stuff, you know, 0:17:30.440 --> 0:17:35.960 making me even more depressed, and then basically pulled me 0:17:36.080 --> 0:17:39.320 into her to comfort me with that. And then it 0:17:39.400 --> 0:17:41.240 led to more. 0:17:42.720 --> 0:17:45.919 Whoa, dude, how does something like that even start? Like 0:17:45.960 --> 0:17:50.080 you're at a family dinner and you're like, let me 0:17:50.080 --> 0:17:50.680 get your number. 0:17:51.400 --> 0:17:55.360 I have known both of them for like twelve years. 0:17:56.000 --> 0:18:00.400 So her sister actually introduced me to my now ex 0:18:00.440 --> 0:18:02.720 wife because we worked at the same place back in 0:18:02.760 --> 0:18:03.760 the day. Ah. 0:18:03.880 --> 0:18:05.000 She knew the sister first. 0:18:05.480 --> 0:18:08.040 Yes, okay, and. 0:18:08.320 --> 0:18:11.120 She is married with three kids. And I don't even 0:18:11.119 --> 0:18:13.879 know what that scenario is, Like, I stay out of that, 0:18:14.119 --> 0:18:18.680 stay away from that I'm cleaning up my own mess. 0:18:18.920 --> 0:18:20.720 So how often do you have the kids? 0:18:21.600 --> 0:18:24.160 I have him? You know, three or four times a week? 0:18:24.680 --> 0:18:28.639 Okay, okay, And that it's just the one right like 0:18:28.680 --> 0:18:31.240 you're I mean, I know you said, just hope. Does 0:18:31.280 --> 0:18:34.960 your like wife have ur ex wife have any other kids? 0:18:36.040 --> 0:18:37.040 Nope, just the one. 0:18:37.800 --> 0:18:41.000 And so you and your ex wife co parent pretty decently. 0:18:42.080 --> 0:18:44.399 We do an excellent job, to the point that we 0:18:44.480 --> 0:18:49.000 both like get pissed off at me for fucking things 0:18:49.080 --> 0:18:50.680 up because we get along so well. 0:18:51.240 --> 0:18:55.480 Interesting. Interesting When did this all go down? 0:18:56.160 --> 0:18:56.840 Uh? 0:18:57.440 --> 0:19:01.720 She found out about everything like the end of August 0:19:02.240 --> 0:19:06.680 last year. Then I had sort of a little mental break, 0:19:06.720 --> 0:19:11.000 spent a few days in a not so great psych ward, 0:19:11.680 --> 0:19:16.560 spent about five days there, and then was released to 0:19:17.920 --> 0:19:20.760 go sign my divorce papers. 0:19:21.240 --> 0:19:26.560 Damn the exit paper combo. She picked up from the hospital. 0:19:27.520 --> 0:19:31.480 Yeah, she picked me up from the psych ward and 0:19:31.560 --> 0:19:33.720 drove me. It was like an hour drive. She was 0:19:34.320 --> 0:19:38.000 her choice to do that. Strangely enough, we even stopped 0:19:38.000 --> 0:19:40.280 at Red Lobster and had lunch together on the way home. 0:19:43.359 --> 0:19:48.040 So did you enter a psych ward right after she 0:19:48.200 --> 0:19:48.680 found out? 0:19:49.320 --> 0:19:52.120 Yeah? It was everything finally just cracked and boiled over 0:19:52.200 --> 0:19:54.119 for me to where like, you know, I had been 0:19:54.200 --> 0:19:58.560 hiding a secret. I had been living alive for a 0:19:58.600 --> 0:20:01.240 long time, and once it was exposed, I just cracked. 0:20:02.840 --> 0:20:06.480 And there's kind of a fear I live with of 0:20:06.560 --> 0:20:09.840 like what if one day I do want to hurt myself? 0:20:09.880 --> 0:20:12.640 And it's never of like oh I want to hurt myself. 0:20:12.680 --> 0:20:16.760 But I felt weak that day and I just checked 0:20:16.760 --> 0:20:20.159 myself into a hospital. Who wait? 0:20:20.280 --> 0:20:22.200 So yeah, so what's that like? Like you just are like, 0:20:22.280 --> 0:20:24.320