Speaker 1: Welcome to Insider's Guide to the Other Side, a production
Speaker 1: of iHeartRadio. Hi, y'all, I'm Julie.
Speaker 2: Hi there, I'm Brenda. Welcome to Insider's Guide to the
Speaker 2: Other Side.
Speaker 1: Now, y'all need to know that we are obsessed with
Speaker 1: everything on the other side.
Speaker 2: Yes, we are, because once you learn to navigate the energetic,
Speaker 2: or to some the invisible world, life is going to
Speaker 2: be more fun and much more serene.
Speaker 1: Uh heck, yes it can, because, let's be honest, for
Speaker 1: in Earth school is hard. In fact, you taught me.
Speaker 2: That let's crush Earth School together.
Speaker 1: Well, hello, my witchy food. I would ask how are you,
Speaker 1: but I have a feeling your answer would be, we're
Speaker 1: still not okay.
Speaker 2: Exactly It's exactly right, my elf, my yodeling elf. You know,
Speaker 2: lots of talents, endless, endless, Yes, yes, yes, And how
Speaker 2: are you?
Speaker 1: You know? I'm actually doing pretty good. Like I'm actually okay, okay,
Speaker 1: I like, yeah, I'm actually okay. Mostly, I mean we're
Speaker 1: going to get into some details.
Speaker 2: I think we're going to get into it people.
Speaker 1: We're going but I think mostly, you know, yeah, I
Speaker 1: think mostly I'm doing pretty good.
Speaker 2: Okay, good, I'm glad to do I'm glad to hear it.
Speaker 1: Are you mostly okay?
Speaker 2: I am?
Speaker 3: I am?
Speaker 2: I am doing okay. If I stay in my very
Speaker 2: narrow bandwidth, which is where I like the you know,
Speaker 2: when I'm in my house with my dog, I'm okay.
Speaker 1: Well, I truly understand that.
Speaker 2: When I venture out into the world, it is sometimes stunning,
Speaker 2: like I am so shocked and caught by surprise and
Speaker 2: like wow, I mean from people driving crazy to aggression
Speaker 2: at the grocery store.
Speaker 1: I was taking this same thing. I swear hand to
Speaker 1: my mama that that I was thinking I was. I
Speaker 1: was had a scenario in my head when I went
Speaker 1: to our one of our grocery stores is called Smith's here,
Speaker 1: and there was a guy who was getting ready to
Speaker 1: run a stop sign and hit me as I was
Speaker 1: walking across the whatever parking lot to go into the
Speaker 1: grocery store. And I'm like, no, what's your hurry? I mean,
Speaker 1: it's still going to be there. Do you need to
Speaker 1: kill somebody? And so it's weird. I was just saying
Speaker 1: in my head, grocery store, what is what the grocery store?
Speaker 2: Do you remember when there was a big push to
Speaker 2: not text and drive where people like had to be
Speaker 2: told not to text and drive, right.
Speaker 1: And they they still do f YI, but continue you.
Speaker 2: I was in the grocery store and I was I
Speaker 2: turned a corner and I actually stood still as I'm
Speaker 2: watching a guy pushing a cart texting and he was
Speaker 2: going to hit me direct. I wasn't moving, Like I
Speaker 2: wasn't moving and I wasn't going to move and say,
Speaker 2: I'm going to see what this guy's gonna do. He
Speaker 2: swerved at the last second, and like we now need
Speaker 2: to not drive grocery carts and text at the same time.
Speaker 3: Right, And that wasn't even the worst or what I saw.
Speaker 2: Like my so when so my point all this is
Speaker 2: like just reflecting back to me. You know this this
Speaker 2: caused me to reflect back when we first did an
Speaker 2: episode that said, you know, people aren't okay. Right now,
Speaker 2: they're not okay. And that was almost three years ago,
Speaker 2: just into the barely into the pandemic.
Speaker 1: Probably three four months or three months max. And to
Speaker 1: the pandemic, we were like, oh, people are not okay, and.
Speaker 3: It was weird.
Speaker 2: Everything turned upside down, Like you know, for a couple
Speaker 2: of weeks, you can be shut down and like okay, Well,
Speaker 2: this is extraordinary and we're all stepping up. But three
Speaker 2: month a month in two and a month and halfened
Speaker 2: like what is going on? The isolation, the freak out factor.
Speaker 2: Going out felt dangerous and threatening, like we were not okay.
Speaker 2: And then you know, being out in the world, I'm like,
Speaker 2: we're still not okay.
Speaker 1: No, we are still not okay.
Speaker 2: It's it's just there's it's we're on a different space
Speaker 2: of the spectrum of not okay, but it's still not okay.
Speaker 1: And I even think there's aspects of it that are
Speaker 1: still fear based. But I think that we're getting far
Speaker 1: more complex. I think one of the big reasons that
Speaker 1: we weren't okay three years ago was there was fear.
Speaker 1: I mean, if you had to give it a percentage,
Speaker 1: it would be pretty high. Right. It was the unknown.
Speaker 1: You know, none of the people alone for the most part,
Speaker 1: had ever lived through a pandemic. We didn't know what
Speaker 1: this was going to do. We saw people getting sick,
Speaker 1: we saw people and heard of people dying. We didn't
Speaker 1: know why, you know, all those things. So I think
Speaker 1: it was very fear. I think now it's different.
Speaker 2: Right, it is different because we understand there's a virus.
Speaker 2: We understand how it's spread, We understand how to prevent it,
Speaker 2: even though there are different ideas about that, but we
Speaker 2: understand different ways.
Speaker 1: Yeah, a lot of good idea.
Speaker 3: Cancel clinic.
Speaker 1: It was sarcastic. I'm sarcastic.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, And you know, so now
Speaker 2: we're re engaging. So I think, like, you know, my
Speaker 2: gap in reality is, you know, I expect people to
Speaker 2: re emerge with a little more maybe just a little
Speaker 2: more awareness, maybe a little more compassion with celebration. And
Speaker 2: you do see that a little bit, but you also
Speaker 2: see other behavior that's kind of intense, kind of feral.
Speaker 1: Kind of I think is a good word.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's and I get there is an element where
Speaker 2: some people are less practiced at being out in the world.
Speaker 2: I consider myself one of those, which is why I'm like,
Speaker 2: you know, trying, why I'm so aware of these patterns
Speaker 2: that other people may have adjusted to more than me.
Speaker 2: But I'm like, do we really want to adjust to
Speaker 2: these kind of patterns, this kind of aggress aggression that's
Speaker 2: in the world. And and like you said, maybe it's
Speaker 2: still fear, but what what are we afraid of? That's
Speaker 2: that's kind of what's what's rolling.
Speaker 1: Around in exactly On that note, I think we should
Speaker 1: take a quick break and come back and let's talk
Speaker 1: about what we're afraid of, because I think that's a
Speaker 1: lot of.
Speaker 3: Things I want to hear. I want to hear what
Speaker 3: you think, So.
Speaker 1: Do I all right, We'll be back.
Speaker 2: Everybody, and welcome back.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I just we should actually be recording
Speaker 1: the video part or not really my hair looks like shit,
Speaker 1: but it's like, if people can see, it's hilarious. So
Speaker 1: I'm sorry for the giggling coming into this segment or
Speaker 1: I'm not really sorry, but my witch is insane. So
Speaker 1: here's what I think. I think that we're afraid of.
Speaker 1: I think there's several things, but there's other aspects added
Speaker 1: to it. But if you think about it, the way
Speaker 1: people got sick was from other people, yes, and I
Speaker 1: don't think we figured out how to be that way again.
Speaker 1: That a person is not my enemy. You know. I
Speaker 1: talked a lot about this when we talked about Suzanne's
Speaker 1: cancer and how I completely overreacted to people getting in
Speaker 1: my space or did I I don't know, if I
Speaker 1: don't want to judge my actions quite yet. But these
Speaker 1: these people without masks, these people that were in my
Speaker 1: space when I'm caring for my wife that at the
Speaker 1: time we didn't know could very well have a deadly disease,
Speaker 1: they were my enemy. And I also let them know
Speaker 1: that in the moment. So have we for those who
Speaker 1: actually believe that COVID is a real thing, because there's
Speaker 1: still those that don't. But for the reasonable humans, you know,
Speaker 1: have we been able to shed that, Have we been
Speaker 1: able to shed that other humans are actually not our
Speaker 1: enemy anymore?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I mean that might still be in the nervous system,
Speaker 2: that might still be in the nervous skins. For me personally,
Speaker 2: I didn't have like threatening situations.
Speaker 1: That the whole time.
Speaker 3: You don't leave your house hash take real.
Speaker 1: But and you loved it. I mean, it's right, you'll
Speaker 1: loved it.
Speaker 3: Not untrue.
Speaker 2: I was, but I'm not obviously not happy about the
Speaker 2: reason why I was home all the time. But so today,
Speaker 2: like like I said, my bandwidth is once I'm out
Speaker 2: in the world, is my my tolerance is still low
Speaker 2: for engagements like if something goes off the rails, I'm like, WHOA,
Speaker 2: I got to step away because I am not a
Speaker 2: place to navigate this, or I maybe maybe I don't
Speaker 2: feel safe because I don't know what's going to happen
Speaker 2: on the end of the navigation, like there's might be
Speaker 2: tension that I'm not even consciously aware of in the
Speaker 2: dialogue with whoever I'm in, Or maybe my capacity is
Speaker 2: just so diminished because everything feels hard, like you have,
Speaker 2: you know that we're still experiencing supply chain shortages and
Speaker 2: things like, it's just.
Speaker 3: Harder than we're used to.
Speaker 2: You know, maybe I'm just spoiled or entitled in this
Speaker 2: way that it's like I just not used to it's
Speaker 2: got to be.
Speaker 3: We got to find an easier way.
Speaker 2: So I'm aware that my tolerance is lower than normal
Speaker 2: for things not going according to you know, my sanctioned
Speaker 2: plan that no one else has sanctioned, you know, no
Speaker 2: one else is aware of. You know.
Speaker 1: Well, I think there's also that term faral. In fact,
Speaker 1: I said farrel earlier on the show, but you actually
Speaker 1: said it we weren't recording, and I and I just
Speaker 1: really was drawn to that because if you think of
Speaker 1: what the difference between feral and domesticated is, right, it's
Speaker 1: about socialization, right, And that's what I think we've lost.
Speaker 1: And I do actually think feral is probably the best word.
Speaker 1: It's also probably then this word we could use in
Speaker 1: this is we need to redomesticate, redomesticate ourselves with other
Speaker 1: humans because I actually firmly believe that we have forgotten
Speaker 1: that we are here all together.
Speaker 2: Because Yep, when when you think about what makes society,
Speaker 2: it's like agreed upon interactions or politeness or practices or boundaries,
Speaker 2: like we agree, and a lot of times those agreements
Speaker 2: are silent. They're just reinforced with regular repeated exposure.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we have social we have unspoken social agreements for sure.
Speaker 2: Right, and so when you take away the gathering, do
Speaker 2: those agreements disintegrate? Right? This is is this what's happened?
Speaker 1: I don't know, I really feel the feral part that
Speaker 1: I really feel that I feel that like a feral
Speaker 1: cat or any feral animal. But we always talk about
Speaker 1: feral cats. You know, their goal is to stay alive
Speaker 1: and to find food and water. Right, that's the goal.
Speaker 1: That's how you say, for anything, that's how you stay alive.
Speaker 1: And if you're domesticated, you are looking for community connection, affection, right,
Speaker 1: like you move up.
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, and because food and water is provided.
Speaker 1: It's because you already have it exactly right. And if
Speaker 1: you think about a feral cat, they will fight another
Speaker 1: animal for that scrap of food, right and don't care
Speaker 1: what happens to that other creature because that's what they're doing.
Speaker 1: That's how we're acting well.
Speaker 2: And the domestic cat, the domestic cat loses, right because
Speaker 2: the domestic doesn't doesn't know how to fight like that.
Speaker 2: It knows how to fight because it's instinctual, but doesn't
Speaker 2: know like I've practiced this over and over.
Speaker 1: Right, and humans, I think what we've ended up and
Speaker 1: in a place, and we see it play out sometimes
Speaker 1: in households, neighborhoods, cities, you know, towns, different institutions. I
Speaker 1: think we see it in government right now more than
Speaker 1: we've ever seen it. We're not going to turn this political.
Speaker 1: I mean I would like to, but I won't. But
Speaker 1: but but you see it like around the world, it's
Speaker 1: like it's literally insanity because we forgot we're all here.
Speaker 1: We forgot that we're domesticated.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: I think in a lot of cases that's what's happened.
Speaker 1: The way that people talk to one another, you know, well.
Speaker 2: And nobody's listening, oh faith right, and of course when
Speaker 2: someone's screaming, you can't hear them, right, when someone's attacking,
Speaker 2: you don't actually hear them. So we have to Like
Speaker 2: so for me, when I'm in a situation like hmm,
Speaker 2: now what I expected, you know, like literally this goes
Speaker 2: through my head. This is not what I expected. Okay,
Speaker 2: I have to make sure for me, I have to
Speaker 2: slow down how I speak because I tend to speak
Speaker 2: very quickly, which can feel when if you don't know me,
Speaker 2: could feel very aggressive, right, it could feel what you
Speaker 2: know now it's not pleasant, And so I have I
Speaker 2: slow down how I speak, like, let me see how
Speaker 2: can we do this? You know, I try and invite
Speaker 2: them into a you know, co solving situation, like we're
Speaker 2: in this together, because this is not what I thought
Speaker 2: I was getting. I understand it is what you thought
Speaker 2: you were providing, But you know, how can we renegotiate
Speaker 2: this and find something that works for everybody?
Speaker 3: You know? Like that's but.
Speaker 2: I I really have to downshift into RENDI spaciousness and connection,
Speaker 2: like this is what I'm trying to create in the
Speaker 2: situation because my goal isn't to make anyone wrong or
Speaker 2: feel bad about themselves like it or attack when people
Speaker 2: are so sensitive right now because I'm I'm feeling like
Speaker 2: I'm conscious that my bandwidth is narrow and my tolerance
Speaker 2: and capacity at are lower to deal with things outside
Speaker 2: you know, the norm, but I assume the same is
Speaker 2: for them.
Speaker 3: So that's you know, So.
Speaker 1: I totally agree with you. I totally I think that
Speaker 1: there is that ultra sensitivity, right. And I also think
Speaker 1: it's really interesting is I've had more strange encounters with strangers.
Speaker 1: How we are with people that we actually don't know
Speaker 1: or haven't met prior to as I think we're reckless,
Speaker 1: and whether it's the grocery store like we talked about,
Speaker 1: like the confrontation that people do now they come in
Speaker 1: hot and so my practice has been to stop, drop
Speaker 1: and roll. That's what you do when you're on fire, right, Yes,
Speaker 1: and again, since I am fire and if I have
Speaker 1: fire coming at me, right, I needed to stop, drop
Speaker 1: and roll.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's funny because I can. Again, my my engagement
Speaker 2: in the world is still small, but I can think
Speaker 2: of three occasions where strangers did something for like one
Speaker 2: held open the door, one picked up something that dropped
Speaker 2: when my arms were full like and one woman and
Speaker 2: I had this little giggle fest as the checkout, like
Speaker 2: just little like really kind human moments together. And it's
Speaker 2: it's just interesting, right, It's just interesting.
Speaker 1: Maybe I attract the assholes, is what you're saying.
Speaker 2: Well, no, no, no, it's not. Well, I'm just I'm just noticing.
Speaker 2: But I'm also again, I'm I'm trying to very consciously
Speaker 2: navigate when I'm out in the world, even though I've
Speaker 2: got lots of moving through and you know, just like
Speaker 2: everyone else, right, like I've got to keep these things moving,
Speaker 2: but trying to create those human moments, trying to plant
Speaker 2: those seeds of like, hey, remember our humanity, because I
Speaker 2: do think we've forgotten some of our socialization and some
Speaker 2: of our socialization standards have have dropped.
Speaker 1: Through the through the floor, they've dropped, you know. So
Speaker 1: I so by tactic that I use when it's a
Speaker 1: stranger kind of situation because I have sadly had multiple
Speaker 1: run ins that I've never experienced in my life prior
Speaker 1: to this, and and it's usually somebody coming in hot
Speaker 1: and and I'll stop, this is my stop, drop and roll.
Speaker 1: And what I will do is replay the moment that
Speaker 1: just happened with some editorial and I'll say, so, we've
Speaker 1: just met and you just said X, Y and Z.
Speaker 1: Do you think that's okay? Like you don't even know
Speaker 1: who I am. Like I tried it. It's like a
Speaker 1: it's like a reflection. It's like a mirror. It's like
Speaker 1: I just want to turn it so they can see
Speaker 1: how they're acting because it's that absurd.
Speaker 3: What's the reaction you get?
Speaker 1: They kind of dumbfounded, because I the those that actually
Speaker 1: bother the look, I think they're dumbfounded. I've had a
Speaker 1: few apologies. I've had one guy who just kept going
Speaker 1: on with it. I'm like, oh, dude, I just like
Speaker 1: I'm walking away from you. You're an asshole. But it's
Speaker 1: like that's what that's what I feel I can offer
Speaker 1: them in that moment because I actually don't mind it
Speaker 1: when somebody does it to me. I really don't, but
Speaker 1: that's me so but I try to offer it so
Speaker 1: they can actually see. Because the moment that somebody's able
Speaker 1: to see and I don't do it like an asshole.
Speaker 1: I'm like this, you know, because I can't go asshole
Speaker 1: real fast.
Speaker 3: But you can also be playful really fast.
Speaker 1: Oh, I can't. I can't, but I try to acknowledge
Speaker 1: the environment and world we're in and the feralness of
Speaker 1: who we are to just let them see, right, because
Speaker 1: if they can see, a lot of them will.
Speaker 3: Be like, oh, okay, yeah I did that. Yeah whoops, yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like and then I'll look at them and for
Speaker 1: the ones who kind of get like, do you want
Speaker 1: to start again, I'll even tell you my name now.
Speaker 1: But that's what a stranger I am like, right, It's
Speaker 1: like how we want to lash out. And I think
Speaker 1: it's the lashing out that is the part that is
Speaker 1: so concerning that because when you lash out, like you know,
Speaker 1: we've talked before, the one there's a few things I
Speaker 1: really believe are absolutes in the world. And what I
Speaker 1: do believe is that we treat people how we feel
Speaker 1: about ourselves. So if this is an indication of how
Speaker 1: the inner workings are of our citizens, the world population,
Speaker 1: we feel pretty fucking shitty the way we're acting.
Speaker 3: And this is what I'm saying. We're not okay.
Speaker 2: People are not okay, and I just think, you know,
Speaker 2: like I feel like that's kind of my mantra. No
Speaker 2: one's at their best right now, So I've got to
Speaker 2: be I have to be a plus in their day,
Speaker 2: whatever our exchange is, because people are like dying by
Speaker 2: ten thousand paper cuts. So I was in line someplace
Speaker 2: and the person in front was just going in front
Speaker 2: of me, was going off on the clerk, and when
Speaker 2: I got up there, I just said, I'm so sorry
Speaker 2: that happened. You know that their day is going to
Speaker 2: be a lot worse than yours. I'm so sorry, you know,
Speaker 2: And like you could just see like she's like, oh
Speaker 2: my god, you're not going to attack me to you know,
Speaker 2: like she was just relieved, right, I mean, because you can't.
Speaker 2: They can't hold all that, and no one can and
Speaker 2: no one should have to.
Speaker 1: And so Brenda, by the way, everybody needs to think
Speaker 1: that if you continually treat people like that. I'm assuming
Speaker 1: as a woman who is a clerk some show, was
Speaker 1: it a man or a woman woman that don't be
Speaker 1: surprised when nobody wants those jobs. Don't be surprised when
Speaker 1: nobody wants to take care of you or or service
Speaker 1: you or whatever. If that's it. Don't be surprised if
Speaker 1: you're standing there and nobody's there to help you. Don't
Speaker 1: that happened in the in the thick of In fact,
Speaker 1: I think we talked about it years ago, how people
Speaker 1: were treating delivery drivers like those that were uh clerks
Speaker 1: that at registers, waiters, they were all wanting they were
Speaker 1: all quitting because they were being treated so horribly. It's
Speaker 1: in the continuation of that, right, It's like, for the
Speaker 1: love fuck, just be nice. It's not hard.
Speaker 2: Well, and it's it's all karmic. It's all coming back
Speaker 2: to you, right. I have a friend who's uh, you
Speaker 2: know father in law is very ill and in the
Speaker 2: hospital and you know, refuse to go to was yelling
Speaker 2: at the doctors who saved his life and uh, refused
Speaker 2: to go to rehab and doesn't have any friends to
Speaker 2: come to care. Like it's you know, people are like,
Speaker 2: I've I've done ten rounds with him. I'm not doing
Speaker 2: another one, you know, like people you know, yeah, well
Speaker 2: we lay in the bed, we make right, yeah, literally,
Speaker 2: And it's it's so conically, it's just really interesting. So
Speaker 2: and remember these people, whether they're not nice or not,
Speaker 2: they're in pain. So you yelling at them is not
Speaker 2: going to help bringing attention to it. Like, hey, let's
Speaker 2: let's dance let's try and do this again because I'm
Speaker 2: you know, I may have misspoken, you know, or whatever,
Speaker 2: like you can role model for them what it's like
Speaker 2: to reset. But leading with compassion, I think is always
Speaker 2: a good idea. So let's take a break, and when
Speaker 2: we come back, we're going to talk about some ways
Speaker 2: to reset and keep in mind our humanity. And welcome
Speaker 2: back break, Thank you.
Speaker 1: Brenda took a nap to serve what he knows? Is
Speaker 1: it quickie? It was like a disco nap back in
Speaker 1: the day. Do you ever take disco naps? No?
Speaker 2: I was thinking I wasn't.
Speaker 1: She was napping, all right.
Speaker 2: So we are going to talk about ways to reclaim, reactivate, remember,
Speaker 2: reconnect to your humanity at this time when things can
Speaker 2: feel very edgy.
Speaker 1: So my health, yeah, I have, I will I you know.
Speaker 1: I it's interesting because just everybody knows this was a
Speaker 1: topic that you're like, hey, we need to talk about this.
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, like following along, like you get a
Speaker 1: little elf sometimes, and and I was, and as we
Speaker 1: were kind of doing our pre talk, I just said,
Speaker 1: I go, it's so strange. And of course Berni are like, well,
Speaker 1: what's strange? What's new actually, And I'm like, just yesterday
Speaker 1: I was actually giving gratitude to the universe that I
Speaker 1: was still alive. And it wasn't gratitude about you know,
Speaker 1: a new pair of tennis shoes or like, it was
Speaker 1: literally my life because I'm so glad to be here,
Speaker 1: even when it's hard. I'm glad to be here. I'm
Speaker 1: glad that I can learn. I'm glad that I can
Speaker 1: spread my little elf in love wherever, whatever adience might
Speaker 1: want it. Oh, I've hugged strangers, of course I am.
Speaker 1: I should be a little bit more of a germaphobe,
Speaker 1: but that's beside the point. But I am so grateful
Speaker 1: to just be here. And that is probably the first
Speaker 1: time that my gratitude because I've practiced gratitude for years
Speaker 1: and I mean it and I feel it, and but
Speaker 1: this is the first time it was ever just to
Speaker 1: be alive and it was full stop. That was the end, Like,
Speaker 1: I am so happy to be here. Thank you for
Speaker 1: letting me be here. And that helps navigating I think
Speaker 1: for me a lot of the feralness of our fellow
Speaker 1: mankind humankind. So that was just that's one thing that
Speaker 1: I just started doing literally okay yesterday.
Speaker 2: Yeah, just just instinctively right. And we know that gratitude
Speaker 2: will raise your frequency. And so even if you are
Speaker 2: in a situation that's hard, Like I've had this prayer
Speaker 2: looking at my calendar the other day, my schedule, I
Speaker 2: was like, I am so lucky to have all these appointments,
Speaker 2: you know, like affirming this is hard in the physical,
Speaker 2: but my spirit is so happy to be engaged in
Speaker 2: this way. Thank you for this privilege right in this
Speaker 2: this honor of doing this work. And both can be true.
Speaker 2: So it's not like gratitude makes all the hard go away.
Speaker 2: We need the challenge to grow, to expand, to expand
Speaker 2: our spirit, to meet our spiritual agreements we have, Like
Speaker 2: that's why the challenge is helpful, So be grateful for it.
Speaker 2: How am I going to meet this challenge with grace?
Speaker 2: How am I going to meet this challenge and bring
Speaker 2: my best forward? And like search for it, work for it.
Speaker 2: That's what it's all about, in the best way, right,
Speaker 2: in the best way, So much to be grateful.
Speaker 1: For well, And I think that too. I think an
Speaker 1: earlier point is you use the word I think you
Speaker 1: use the word spoiled, Like are we too spoiled. And
Speaker 1: I think that again things instinctive part of just being
Speaker 1: grateful to be alive is the opposite of being spoiled,
Speaker 1: and I think that is a big part of it.
Speaker 1: I think that there's a lot of well, I have
Speaker 1: the right to do this, I have the right to
Speaker 1: tell you what. I have the right and because you
Speaker 1: get a lot of that shit, I don't get that much, don't.
Speaker 1: I don't get that much here in Santa Fe, to
Speaker 1: tell the truth. But there's a lot of that that
Speaker 1: goes out there, and that goes on out there, and
Speaker 1: because they forgot right, I think so much of what's
Speaker 1: happening now is that we've forgotten, you know, we are spoiled.
Speaker 1: I think that, you know, you use an example again,
Speaker 1: pre talk about, you know, somebody who hasn't been able
Speaker 1: to travel for two years, that they will leave a
Speaker 1: trail of destruction to everybody else for them to go
Speaker 1: do their trip because they haven't been able to and
Speaker 1: two whole years. But let me leave my destruction for
Speaker 1: everybody else to clean the fuck up.
Speaker 2: And it's like, really, yeah, who said that you were
Speaker 2: entitled to travel every year?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 3: Who? Exactly?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 2: Right? I mean it's just it's just interesting and to
Speaker 2: catch yourself in these stories like oh I thought that
Speaker 2: that should be ready when the email said it was ready. Okay,
Speaker 2: so it's a different world. I have to embrace what
Speaker 2: is not what was promised or what was expected, like so.
Speaker 1: Oh we do have to wait more than we have before,
Speaker 1: and so that that's it. So that patience.
Speaker 2: So this is where a mindfulness practice is really helpful.
Speaker 2: And mindfulness is just noticing what is in the present
Speaker 2: right It checks your expectations, It checks your your hidden agendas,
Speaker 2: you know, like, oh, I didn't even know I expected
Speaker 2: that until I didn't get it sort of thing, you know,
Speaker 2: like oh that when you get surprised, just check in
Speaker 2: and go, oh what was I expecting? And you know,
Speaker 2: people who are really embracing a mindfulness practice will set
Speaker 2: a timer that goes off every fifteen minutes. Notice what
Speaker 2: you notice in this moment. Look around, what gets you
Speaker 2: in the room in the present right now? What's under
Speaker 2: your feet, what's on your feet, where's your attention, what
Speaker 2: are you touching? What's the temperature, where's your breath? Where's
Speaker 2: your mind? Fifty minutes later, the time goes off, you
Speaker 2: do the same thing. Like it keeps you so present,
Speaker 2: we get so caught, especially when we were disconnected from people.
Speaker 2: We didn't have to be present, we didn't have to
Speaker 2: be accountable.
Speaker 1: For our thoughts, none of it.
Speaker 3: We just we just spun.
Speaker 1: We watched a lot of television.
Speaker 2: We numbed out, alcohol consumption, we consumption all went through
Speaker 2: the roof, right, And so it's almost like we are detoxing,
Speaker 2: Like there's a there's a huge societal detoxing going on time.
Speaker 1: That's a good word too. Feral and detoxing are two
Speaker 1: of the words of this show.
Speaker 2: Which means I gotta hydrate, gotta move your bodies. People
Speaker 2: like if we need right, we need more awareness of
Speaker 2: what we consume, media, alcohol, water, food, conversations, all of it,
Speaker 2: Like what are we consuming? And you know, just try
Speaker 2: and make conscious choices the best you can. No one's perfect,
Speaker 2: and we're not asking for perfection, but we can do better.
Speaker 2: All these practices that will help you feel better about you,
Speaker 2: in your body, how you're engaging, We'll just raise the
Speaker 2: frequency of whatever you're engaging, whatever you're practicing. And then
Speaker 2: of course there's always meditation and working with crystals. And
Speaker 2: you've heard me talk about that a thousand times.
Speaker 1: But that's part of the about the the the boundaries
Speaker 1: that we need for ourselves, right and and routine, you know,
Speaker 1: because those are those things that can keep you grounded,
Speaker 1: keep you calmer.
Speaker 2: You know, well, it just it keeps it keeps you,
Speaker 2: you know, saying you're you're in that safe zone. Those
Speaker 2: are your guardrails to keep you in the safe zone.
Speaker 1: And I love guardrails. I know you never get to
Speaker 1: say that I love guard rails. I love them.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you actually are.
Speaker 2: You get you get devoted to them, whether it's swimming
Speaker 2: or like you you're so devoted to them, it's brilliant.
Speaker 2: And you know, after my multiple concussions, I am even
Speaker 2: more committed to like understanding where.
Speaker 1: The wearing a helmet?
Speaker 3: Do we're wearing a big bubble suit. Yeah, that full body.
Speaker 1: Bubblesuity the witch and the bubble.
Speaker 3: Nice.
Speaker 2: But I feel like, you know, part of my consciousness
Speaker 2: is aware of what I'm getting close to the line.
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm close to the line, but I'm good.
Speaker 2: You know, I'm close to the line, but I'm good.
Speaker 2: But now my commitment is don't get anywhere near the line.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.
Speaker 2: Don't get anywhere near the line. So I'm saying no
Speaker 2: to a lot more, which is humbling, so.
Speaker 1: Not pushing that, not pushing the line. Not It's like, no,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna just have a I'm gonna have some nice,
Speaker 1: healthy spatialness between me and that line.
Speaker 3: Yep.
Speaker 1: I like that a lot.
Speaker 3: I was going to see how this goes. It's my
Speaker 3: new practice. We'll see how.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna practice it too, then because and then we
Speaker 1: can compare. I really like it a lot. I do.
Speaker 1: And you know it's interesting too in this phase of
Speaker 1: my life. I mean, I've gone through different phases where
Speaker 1: I like to drink. Tequila was my thing back in
Speaker 1: my forties, and I'm just kind of a I'm not
Speaker 1: a drinker I think, which is is a choice too,
Speaker 1: by the way. But it wasn't like I was an alcoholic.
Speaker 1: It's just like just doesn't make me feel good, you know.
Speaker 1: I just I don't want anything that actually takes me
Speaker 1: out of who I am. And so it's it's interesting
Speaker 1: that I've even said it's like, yeah, I don't mind
Speaker 1: a drink here or there. Can't have the last time
Speaker 1: I've had a drink, I don't know. That's how long
Speaker 1: it's been, and that is I think that's part of
Speaker 1: the line. It's like, why would I, Wow, I just
Speaker 1: don't need to do that. I don't. And again that's
Speaker 1: just for me. Everybody can make their own damn decisions.
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to lecture holier than now crap, because
Speaker 1: I'm the farthest lem holier than now. But it's just
Speaker 1: one of those example. I just want to give an
Speaker 1: example of the line of I'm not even the line
Speaker 1: I first had. I'm not even close to it.
Speaker 3: I couldn't even find it if I had to.
Speaker 1: I couldn't find the line because I'm just so far
Speaker 1: away from it and that respect, And so I was
Speaker 1: just trying to give some context to I think what
Speaker 1: you mean by the line, because that's how I do,
Speaker 1: That's how I see it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and for me, my my line is around over
Speaker 2: committing right, over committing to work.
Speaker 1: So that's yeah, yeah, to teach me yoda, because I
Speaker 1: taught myself. I have more things to do, more responsibilities.
Speaker 1: But I think it's also kind of the gas that
Speaker 1: keeps my engine going.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and everyone's got their own thing, right, Everyone's got
Speaker 2: their own thing. So but again, if so, if you
Speaker 2: feel like a mindfulness practice would be fun for you,
Speaker 2: awesome that you can find all kinds of beautiful things
Speaker 2: about it online. And also I strongly encourage people to
Speaker 2: play with a boundary of three to five minutes of
Speaker 2: meditation every day, just to reset, just to breathe deeply
Speaker 2: into your body and know that you are perfect, that
Speaker 2: you are enough. Let that be the case, and let
Speaker 2: your like every aspect of you know it mind, body, spirit.
Speaker 2: But that's again just say I am enough for three
Speaker 2: to five minutes a day. It's a game changer.
Speaker 1: Stop dropping roll people, No, it's a principle though. What
Speaker 1: that really is it is like, you know, take a
Speaker 1: minute before responding to something. So I think like hopefully
Speaker 1: if people can do this mindfulness practice daily, they don't
Speaker 1: have to stop dropping roll. But if you do, just
Speaker 1: like take that moment, because odds are you'll regret what
Speaker 1: you're going to do and what you're going to.
Speaker 2: Say, and again just taking that beat. What mindfulness does,
Speaker 2: when meditation does, what stop drop and roll does?
Speaker 3: It takes a beat.
Speaker 2: So I'm not adding fuel to the fire. I'm creating
Speaker 2: space for the grace and and just you know, remembering
Speaker 2: my compassion and my humanity and you know, creating an
Speaker 2: energetic opening for this engagement to shift into a space
Speaker 2: of compassion.
Speaker 1: Let's start a movement, people, because you know what part
Speaker 1: of how things start is people will follow you. I
Speaker 1: know if you are not behaving in the same way
Speaker 1: everybody else is. And let's say your behavior is healthier
Speaker 1: than the other, they'll notice well.
Speaker 2: And remember at a high A low vibration can't exist
Speaker 2: in a high in the presence of a high vibration.
Speaker 3: Right, it will, It will entrain to you.
Speaker 2: Right, it'll literally you create the spaciousness you roll model,
Speaker 2: you beam it out. You're safe here, You're not judging you.
Speaker 2: I want to connect with you, like Yeah, it can
Speaker 2: be a powerful experience.
Speaker 3: So report back to us. Let it.
Speaker 2: Let us know what works for you. What do you find,
Speaker 2: what you've tried, What do you find work for you.
Speaker 2: We'd love to hear and walk away if you have to, Yeah,
Speaker 2: walk away, it's completely fine.
Speaker 3: Oh I'm going to come back.
Speaker 1: You gotta know, you gotta know when to hold them
Speaker 1: and know when to full know when to walk away,
Speaker 1: and know when to run money. There'll be time enough
Speaker 1: for counting when the dealing is done.
Speaker 2: On that note, Her school is.
Speaker 1: Hard without Kenny Rogers and the Gambler and the Other Side.
Speaker 2: By y'all, thank you for joining us, everyone, and a
Speaker 2: special thanks to our producer Joey Patt and our executive
Speaker 2: producer Maya Cole Howard, who guides us.
Speaker 3: Will we guide you?
Speaker 1: Hit us up on Instagram at other Side Guides, or
Speaker 1: shoot us a note at high Hi at vibes dot store.
Speaker 2: We want to know what you think, We want to
Speaker 2: know what you know, and we want to hear your stories.
Speaker 2: And remember, her school is hard without the other Side.
Speaker 2: Insider's Guide to the Other Side is a production of iHeartRadio.
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