1 00:00:04,440 --> 00:00:09,280 Speaker 1: Hello everybody, and welcome back to the Psychology of Your Twenties, 2 00:00:09,920 --> 00:00:12,280 Speaker 1: the podcast where we talk through some of the big 3 00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:16,880 Speaker 1: life changes and transitions of our twenties and what they 4 00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:25,960 Speaker 1: mean for our psychology. Hello everybody, Welcome back to the show. 5 00:00:26,079 --> 00:00:30,160 Speaker 1: Welcome back to the podcast. New listeners, old listeners. Wherever 6 00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:32,199 Speaker 1: you are in the world, it is so great to 7 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:35,360 Speaker 1: have you here. Back for another episode as we, of 8 00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:39,559 Speaker 1: course break down the psychology of our twenties. Today, we're 9 00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:42,879 Speaker 1: going to talk about money, not how to make more 10 00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:45,839 Speaker 1: of it, not how to invest it. We're not going 11 00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:49,040 Speaker 1: to talk about get rich quick schemes or how to budget, 12 00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:54,240 Speaker 1: but the ways in which money, our psychology, and our 13 00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:57,640 Speaker 1: mental health are related in a lot of ways we 14 00:00:57,760 --> 00:01:00,880 Speaker 1: probably didn't even know. It's been a little over two 15 00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:04,039 Speaker 1: years since I last ded a specific money episode, which 16 00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:07,560 Speaker 1: honestly is way too long given how universal I think 17 00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:11,880 Speaker 1: financial insecurity is during this decade, Given that it is 18 00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:14,360 Speaker 1: a time when a lot of us are first becoming 19 00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:18,679 Speaker 1: financially independent, trying our hardest to save living paycheck to paycheck, 20 00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:22,000 Speaker 1: I think financial anxiety is something we can kind of 21 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:25,160 Speaker 1: all relate to in one aspect or another. During this 22 00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:28,560 Speaker 1: time it kind of really bleeds into every aspect of 23 00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:33,720 Speaker 1: our lives, and especially during this generation, we are facing 24 00:01:34,040 --> 00:01:39,360 Speaker 1: a pretty harsh, pretty ruthless economic reality that is making 25 00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:43,800 Speaker 1: the mental health impacts of our finances even more pronounced. 26 00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:46,760 Speaker 1: I would say I think at least in in Sydney 27 00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:51,320 Speaker 1: and Australia in general, really inflation is outpacing earnings. We 28 00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:54,920 Speaker 1: are paying half of our paycheck each week into rent. 29 00:01:55,720 --> 00:01:59,240 Speaker 1: Everyone wants to tell you that the next recession is coming. 30 00:01:59,280 --> 00:02:02,520 Speaker 1: Groceries are so expensive, so there's no doubt that this 31 00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:06,960 Speaker 1: is really contributing to a decline in overall life satisfaction, 32 00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:11,640 Speaker 1: in mental well being across society, but especially for young people. 33 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:14,680 Speaker 1: In fact, I think the National Youth Mental Health Survey 34 00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:17,000 Speaker 1: was released a couple weeks ago and it found that 35 00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:20,680 Speaker 1: eighty percent of Australians, but I would actually say that 36 00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:23,880 Speaker 1: this includes a lot of young people, people age seventeen 37 00:02:23,919 --> 00:02:28,359 Speaker 1: to twenty five. Eighty percent of them are experiencing financial anxiety. 38 00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:33,840 Speaker 1: They're feeling pessimistic about the future, and they're constantly thinking 39 00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:38,440 Speaker 1: about their finances and what our finances allow us to 40 00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:43,040 Speaker 1: do or prevent us from doing. For this reason and 41 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:45,880 Speaker 1: many many others, money takes on such an emotional role 42 00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:48,480 Speaker 1: in our lives, and I just think that that fact 43 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:51,640 Speaker 1: doesn't get enough airtime. So let's talk about it today. 44 00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:56,399 Speaker 1: Let's talk about the interactions between money, our psychology, and 45 00:02:56,680 --> 00:02:59,560 Speaker 1: our mental health. We're going to break down where our 46 00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:04,279 Speaker 1: specific money fears come from, the root of financial anxiety, 47 00:03:04,720 --> 00:03:07,680 Speaker 1: our individual money archetypes, how to find out what your 48 00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:11,280 Speaker 1: money archetype or money language is, what worrying about money 49 00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:15,040 Speaker 1: can do. You have mental health, your physical health, your relationships, 50 00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:19,279 Speaker 1: our bodies, but also how to really navigate those obsessive 51 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:24,200 Speaker 1: fears and anxieties that we typically have around financial certainty 52 00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:27,480 Speaker 1: and stability even when we are doing okay, even when 53 00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:30,040 Speaker 1: we do have money. There is so much to discuss. 54 00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:32,480 Speaker 2: I think I say that with every single episode, but 55 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:35,320 Speaker 2: this one in particular. This I just know this is 56 00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:37,560 Speaker 2: probably going to go up to fifty minutes, probably an hour, 57 00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:40,440 Speaker 2: So strap in, guys, I hope that you learn something. 58 00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:43,600 Speaker 2: I hope you enjoy this episode. Without further ado, let's 59 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:51,600 Speaker 2: talk all things money and mental health. Like I said before, 60 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:55,080 Speaker 2: money is so much more emotional and psychological than we 61 00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:58,160 Speaker 2: give it credit for anything that we care about or 62 00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:02,279 Speaker 2: that is valuable in our lives, will have complicated emotions 63 00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:06,840 Speaker 2: attached to it because it takes on this larger, more significant, 64 00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:10,920 Speaker 2: important meaning. Money isn't just you know, a number on 65 00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:13,200 Speaker 2: a screen that represents your bank balance. It's not like 66 00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:17,080 Speaker 2: a twenty dollar bill in your pocket or the transactions 67 00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:23,800 Speaker 2: on your phone. It represents freedom, independence, security, status, a 68 00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:28,160 Speaker 2: certain lifestyle, sometimes even our level of happiness depending on 69 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:31,919 Speaker 2: who you are, and we are really fine tuned to 70 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:35,599 Speaker 2: care about it, and so it's a pretty dominant presence 71 00:04:35,880 --> 00:04:38,599 Speaker 2: in our lives. It also impacts I think some of 72 00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:41,800 Speaker 2: the most fundamental life decisions that will make in our 73 00:04:41,839 --> 00:04:45,800 Speaker 2: twenties and beyond. Like, honestly, it impacts who we're friends with, 74 00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:49,279 Speaker 2: It impacts who we date. It most certainly impacts where 75 00:04:49,279 --> 00:04:52,320 Speaker 2: we live, not just in terms of neighborhood or suburb, 76 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:56,720 Speaker 2: but city country. It impacts what job we want to pursue, 77 00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:59,159 Speaker 2: what career we would like to have. I think it 78 00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:02,520 Speaker 2: possibly influence is all of those things almost as much 79 00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:06,560 Speaker 2: as our personality or as our upbringing. And we'll get 80 00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:10,400 Speaker 2: to see how upbringing and money are also very very 81 00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:14,840 Speaker 2: much so interlinked. That's why I think it's really important 82 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:19,240 Speaker 2: to see money as something that we have a relationship with, 83 00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:24,040 Speaker 2: rather than as just this random resource, because in a 84 00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:26,440 Speaker 2: way we do. We do have a relationship with money, 85 00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:30,120 Speaker 2: just like a romantic partner, just like a friend. Money 86 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:33,200 Speaker 2: can impact our mood. Money can make us feel safe 87 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:38,960 Speaker 2: or insecure. Our relationship to money changes and evolves as 88 00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:40,600 Speaker 2: we have more of it or less of it. It can 89 00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:43,640 Speaker 2: improve our lives or really bring it down. I could 90 00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:46,839 Speaker 2: be describing money, or I could be describing a toxic 91 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:50,440 Speaker 2: relationship or a healthy relationship. And you know, the same 92 00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:53,719 Speaker 2: way that our relationships can be influenced by things like 93 00:05:53,800 --> 00:06:00,440 Speaker 2: childhood experiences, like parental attitudes, culture trauma, self esteem, so 94 00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:03,560 Speaker 2: can our relationship with money, because it means more than 95 00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:06,760 Speaker 2: we think it does. The other thing to note is 96 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:10,560 Speaker 2: that just like your relationship with your boyfriend or your girlfriend, 97 00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:13,240 Speaker 2: or your partner, or your friend or your parents, if 98 00:06:13,279 --> 00:06:16,719 Speaker 2: you were to compare that relationship your closest relationships to 99 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:19,960 Speaker 2: you know, a coworker or to one of your own friends, 100 00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:22,720 Speaker 2: each of us is going to have a different set 101 00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:26,680 Speaker 2: of circumstances and a different kind of relationship pattern, and 102 00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:30,720 Speaker 2: that pattern is going to control and impact our emotions 103 00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:34,480 Speaker 2: and our mental state. In different ways. Basically, what I'm 104 00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:37,800 Speaker 2: saying is that this is actually a highly personal topic 105 00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:41,280 Speaker 2: and it's highly nuanced. It's not just about how much 106 00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:44,280 Speaker 2: money do I have and if I have more. If 107 00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:46,240 Speaker 2: I have enough, I'm going to be fine, and if 108 00:06:46,279 --> 00:06:49,120 Speaker 2: I don't have enough, I'm going to be stressed. I 109 00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:51,760 Speaker 2: think it's really important to note here that when we're 110 00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:57,360 Speaker 2: talking about financial anxiety and financial stress, it's actually not 111 00:06:57,400 --> 00:07:01,360 Speaker 2: just one thing. It's two things up of two components. 112 00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:05,480 Speaker 2: We have objective financial difficulty, and then we have our 113 00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:11,760 Speaker 2: subjective perceptions about our financial difficulties. Objective financial difficulty will 114 00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:14,720 Speaker 2: start by talking about that first. It is when you 115 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:19,040 Speaker 2: just undoubtedly are struggling, no matter who you are. We 116 00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:22,000 Speaker 2: kind of all know what it means to be in debt. 117 00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:24,320 Speaker 2: We all know it's not great to be down to 118 00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:27,400 Speaker 2: your last five dollars without any money coming in. We 119 00:07:27,440 --> 00:07:29,200 Speaker 2: know that it's a bad sign if you don't have 120 00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:33,440 Speaker 2: a steady income that can pay your bills. That is 121 00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:37,200 Speaker 2: when it's really time to start worrying. And in those moments, 122 00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:39,880 Speaker 2: I think a lot of us feel justified in our 123 00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:44,520 Speaker 2: financial worries. Not having money has a lot of run 124 00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:49,120 Speaker 2: on consequences because this is not an enlightening thing to say, 125 00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:51,200 Speaker 2: but we need money to live. We need it to 126 00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:57,600 Speaker 2: access healthcare, to access food, to access housing, to access opportunity, 127 00:07:57,720 --> 00:08:00,880 Speaker 2: to be quite honest, and when you don't have money, 128 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:05,040 Speaker 2: it feels like you can't have a life. It becomes 129 00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:11,880 Speaker 2: this constant stressor because it's threatening our core sense of survival, 130 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:14,720 Speaker 2: and that is normally all our brains can focus on 131 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:17,840 Speaker 2: when in that situation. In fact, people who go a 132 00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:21,600 Speaker 2: long time struggling with their finances, which is becoming more common, 133 00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:25,679 Speaker 2: or people who have very little for a long time, 134 00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:28,880 Speaker 2: even if they can meet their basic needs, if it's 135 00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:33,960 Speaker 2: always this survival state, if it's always living paycheck to paycheck, 136 00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:39,880 Speaker 2: they actually develop a lot of symptoms of chronic stress, insomnia, fatigue, 137 00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:46,360 Speaker 2: even stomach ulcers, changes, an appetite, distorted thinking, because all 138 00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:49,720 Speaker 2: of those survival systems we have that are meant to 139 00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:54,160 Speaker 2: be for moments of extreme danger are constantly being activated 140 00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:58,439 Speaker 2: because money has become this important resource for which a 141 00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:02,200 Speaker 2: lack of is indicative danger, and so they tend to 142 00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:06,720 Speaker 2: stay in this heightened state of arousal that no living organism, 143 00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:09,640 Speaker 2: no species, no human is meant to be in for 144 00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:12,240 Speaker 2: an extended period of time, and that puts a lot 145 00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:15,520 Speaker 2: of pressure on our body. It damages our immune system, 146 00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:19,560 Speaker 2: It compromises how our hormones are secreted, which is something 147 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:22,640 Speaker 2: that a lot of people don't talk about the impact 148 00:09:22,679 --> 00:09:27,840 Speaker 2: of chronic stress on literally your DNA, on your ability 149 00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:31,840 Speaker 2: to meet your basic needs for sleep, for rest, for connection. 150 00:09:32,520 --> 00:09:34,920 Speaker 2: I don't really think it's a surprise that this one 151 00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:38,600 Speaker 2: paper in twenty twenty three concluded that having a lower 152 00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:42,000 Speaker 2: income for an extended period of time, which they said 153 00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:47,120 Speaker 2: was three months or more, that is strongly correlated with 154 00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:53,160 Speaker 2: increased psychological distress and mental health concerns, specifically anxiety and depression. 155 00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:56,600 Speaker 2: And the thing is, you just don't know when that 156 00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:59,800 Speaker 2: situation is going to end. You just don't know when 157 00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:03,800 Speaker 2: you're finances will turn for you. No one can say, well, 158 00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:06,559 Speaker 2: you know, on this date, you're finally going to get 159 00:10:06,559 --> 00:10:09,440 Speaker 2: that windfall and it's all going to be okay. For 160 00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:12,920 Speaker 2: so many other stressful situations that we go through in life, 161 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:16,640 Speaker 2: you know, whether it's like small things like exam season 162 00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:20,120 Speaker 2: that might feel very big, or breakups or whatever it is. 163 00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:22,920 Speaker 2: We can go to therapy, we can be mindful, we 164 00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:27,520 Speaker 2: can remove ourselves from stressful relationships or situations. We can 165 00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:30,520 Speaker 2: change how we think about something. We can problem solve. 166 00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:34,520 Speaker 2: When you're worrying about money, the problem and the solution 167 00:10:34,679 --> 00:10:37,440 Speaker 2: are the same thing. You wouldn't be worrying about your 168 00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:40,959 Speaker 2: income or your finances if you had money, if you 169 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:43,200 Speaker 2: knew how to make more. But you don't know how 170 00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:45,959 Speaker 2: to make more, so that's why you're so stressed. There's 171 00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:49,560 Speaker 2: really nothing else you can do. Again, money is the 172 00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:54,760 Speaker 2: problem and the solution. I think money just also makes 173 00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:59,280 Speaker 2: life easier because it firstly eliminates the stress of not 174 00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:01,640 Speaker 2: knowing if you're going to be able to provide for yourself, 175 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:07,000 Speaker 2: but it also just reduces I guess it just reduces 176 00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:11,280 Speaker 2: the stress of everyday life, of things taking longer, of 177 00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:15,120 Speaker 2: things being inconvenient. The phrase that always comes to mind 178 00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:16,720 Speaker 2: to me when I think about this, of like money 179 00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:19,840 Speaker 2: makes life easier, is the phrase money is time. And 180 00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:22,360 Speaker 2: so if you have money, you can buy yourself time 181 00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:24,760 Speaker 2: in your day. And I give the example of you 182 00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:28,000 Speaker 2: know being able to order in your groceries, therefore saving 183 00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:32,600 Speaker 2: you time that you can then spend cleaning your house, relaxing, working, 184 00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:35,400 Speaker 2: compared to not being able to afford that luxury and 185 00:11:35,440 --> 00:11:37,840 Speaker 2: having to go to the store, which means extra stress, 186 00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:42,160 Speaker 2: extra travel time, extra time not for yourself or not 187 00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:44,680 Speaker 2: for other things that are important. And that is a 188 00:11:44,679 --> 00:11:48,280 Speaker 2: small example, right, but I think it really shows how 189 00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:52,920 Speaker 2: having more money does make life easier. Unfortunately, the other 190 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:56,160 Speaker 2: reason that more money or a steady income or a 191 00:11:56,160 --> 00:11:59,680 Speaker 2: stable income might also benefit our mental health is that 192 00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:04,480 Speaker 2: money just gives you more options and freedom to you know, 193 00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:09,120 Speaker 2: leave toxic workplaces which may have made you stressed, to 194 00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:11,839 Speaker 2: pay for therapy that will give you peace of mind. 195 00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:15,000 Speaker 2: You know, there is this daying right, money can't buy happiness, 196 00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:17,800 Speaker 2: and maybe you've heard of that famous study that after 197 00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:19,520 Speaker 2: someone is making you know, one hundred and twenty eight 198 00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:23,640 Speaker 2: more money doesn't exponentially make your life much better. But 199 00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:26,199 Speaker 2: the thing that money can get you, if not happiness, 200 00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:32,800 Speaker 2: are the secondary influences of happiness. And I'm talking security, freedom, independence, 201 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:38,000 Speaker 2: better services, and of course choice and choice gives you 202 00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:41,560 Speaker 2: control over your life, all of which helps ease stress. 203 00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:46,400 Speaker 2: Ease anxiety is the sense that you actually don't have agency, 204 00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:50,520 Speaker 2: that you actually can't choose for yourself the life that 205 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:52,280 Speaker 2: you want to live. Also, and you know not to 206 00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:54,120 Speaker 2: add to this like a litany of things, but I 207 00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:57,480 Speaker 2: do think it's important. You know, not making much money, 208 00:12:57,559 --> 00:13:01,000 Speaker 2: not having the means, also creates limits to what we 209 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:03,080 Speaker 2: can do socially, especially if you have friends who are 210 00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:06,920 Speaker 2: at very different points in their life financially. You know, 211 00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:09,480 Speaker 2: how do you keep up with the dinners where it's 212 00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:11,920 Speaker 2: always going to cost you more than your groceries for 213 00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:14,720 Speaker 2: the week. How do you keep up with going out 214 00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:17,559 Speaker 2: and paying for drinks every Friday, or going on those holidays, 215 00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:21,480 Speaker 2: or going shopping or buying all those concert tickets. It's like, 216 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:25,160 Speaker 2: with everything you're invited to, price is the first thing 217 00:13:25,679 --> 00:13:28,320 Speaker 2: you have to think of. And you face this dilemma, 218 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:31,880 Speaker 2: go and try and enjoy yourself, knowing you won't be 219 00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:35,000 Speaker 2: able to say yes to everything because you're limited financially, 220 00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:38,600 Speaker 2: and you'll probably end up worrying about money afterwards, or 221 00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:42,600 Speaker 2: stay home and get that intense pomo that we all 222 00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:46,760 Speaker 2: feel so much more intensely in our twenties, that not 223 00:13:46,920 --> 00:13:50,400 Speaker 2: only are you missing out on this time in your life, 224 00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:53,040 Speaker 2: but you're also missing out on the memories and the 225 00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:57,400 Speaker 2: connections that could have been made between you and your friends. 226 00:13:57,760 --> 00:14:01,040 Speaker 2: And we know that social isolation or sense of disconnection 227 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:05,199 Speaker 2: is one of the biggest predictors of poor mental health outcomes, 228 00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:08,640 Speaker 2: because we need community, we need those moments with friends, 229 00:14:08,679 --> 00:14:11,959 Speaker 2: We need to belong somewhere. I think you kind of 230 00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:14,240 Speaker 2: get my point here, right. I say all of this 231 00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:19,160 Speaker 2: because I want you to know it's firstly, not just you. Secondly, 232 00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:23,680 Speaker 2: it's not an overreaction. It's not greedy. It's not obsessive 233 00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:27,320 Speaker 2: or selfish to be worrying about money. Money has these 234 00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:32,440 Speaker 2: impacts across all domains of wellbeing, even in very, very 235 00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:35,920 Speaker 2: hidden ways, even in ways that the average person who 236 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:41,440 Speaker 2: isn't struggling with money would never suspect. Right. Something that 237 00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:45,000 Speaker 2: really frustrates me is people who are like, oh, you know, money, 238 00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:47,360 Speaker 2: every time I spend money, money comes back to me 239 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:50,720 Speaker 2: because I have an abundance mindset. And I totally respect 240 00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:52,440 Speaker 2: that perspective because I think if it works for you, 241 00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:55,560 Speaker 2: it works for you. But there are actually just sometimes 242 00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:57,880 Speaker 2: where it's like, no, I cannot just spend money and 243 00:14:57,920 --> 00:15:00,920 Speaker 2: hope that it comes back to me. I actually have 244 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:02,760 Speaker 2: a life, and I have bills to pay, and I 245 00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:05,720 Speaker 2: may not be in the same situation as you, and 246 00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:08,960 Speaker 2: I think that also creates friction and relationships where it's 247 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:11,840 Speaker 2: like money. Also, the way we spend money also comes 248 00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:16,160 Speaker 2: down to values, and it's a really interesting touch point 249 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:19,360 Speaker 2: to see how the values between you and your friends differ, 250 00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:22,760 Speaker 2: the privilege between you and your friends differ, and sometimes 251 00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:24,680 Speaker 2: that can end up being a bit of a deal 252 00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:28,520 Speaker 2: breaker in a lot of different relationships. I'm going to 253 00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:32,400 Speaker 2: move on because I want to talk about subjective financial stress, 254 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:36,120 Speaker 2: because even when we have money, even when we can 255 00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:39,760 Speaker 2: pay all of our expenses, you can still be worried 256 00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:43,560 Speaker 2: about money. And I think that's something that's often left 257 00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:46,520 Speaker 2: out of the conversation, and a lot of people are like, Okay, 258 00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:50,040 Speaker 2: I feel like I'm not justified in my concerns, but 259 00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:53,320 Speaker 2: I'm so. I don't want to say obsessive because it 260 00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:55,240 Speaker 2: makes it sound like this is a choice, but the 261 00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:57,680 Speaker 2: thoughts around this just so obsessive and intrusive to me. 262 00:15:58,720 --> 00:16:03,520 Speaker 2: That difference in perspective comes down to our subjective appraisals 263 00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:07,800 Speaker 2: about money. Maybe feeling like we don't have enough in 264 00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:10,640 Speaker 2: comparison to others, even if we can afford everything we need. 265 00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:14,160 Speaker 2: Maybe worrying about a future time when you won't have money, 266 00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:17,840 Speaker 2: even though you have money, right now feeling insecure about 267 00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:22,080 Speaker 2: your finances no matter what is objectively happening. That is 268 00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:27,160 Speaker 2: the distinction between objective financial insecurity and subjective financial insecurity, 269 00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:30,680 Speaker 2: and both equally damaging. You know, I get where the 270 00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:33,560 Speaker 2: sentiment comes from. Of like, well, obviously the person without 271 00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:37,480 Speaker 2: money has it worse. But even if someone does is 272 00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:40,040 Speaker 2: able to meet the basic needs and still is obsessing 273 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:44,480 Speaker 2: about money, it is quite I think demanding, and quite 274 00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:50,040 Speaker 2: a burden. And it comes from a very I think intricate, 275 00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:56,120 Speaker 2: interesting amalgamation of past experiences that aren't spoken about. If 276 00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:58,840 Speaker 2: you have had times of financial insecurity in the past, 277 00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:01,320 Speaker 2: if you know what it's like to be dead broke, 278 00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:04,920 Speaker 2: that is not a feeling that goes away very easily. 279 00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:07,960 Speaker 2: The other example I give is if you had parents 280 00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:12,600 Speaker 2: who were always worried about money, who you know, their incomes, 281 00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:14,840 Speaker 2: their jobs meant that they could never give you what 282 00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:18,639 Speaker 2: the other kids had. That is quite a powerful experience. 283 00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:22,960 Speaker 2: Our brains are wired to remember those periods of stress, 284 00:17:23,119 --> 00:17:25,880 Speaker 2: whether it's because of money or really anything, because if 285 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:30,000 Speaker 2: we've endured and survived these stressful periods, our brain obviously 286 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:32,480 Speaker 2: wants to ensure that if this situation comes up again 287 00:17:32,640 --> 00:17:35,840 Speaker 2: in the future. Our memory of the path out is 288 00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:38,639 Speaker 2: crystal clear. That is, of course, our brains trying to 289 00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:40,240 Speaker 2: do the helpful thing and create a bit of a 290 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:44,919 Speaker 2: guide book for us, a living guidebook, using stress as 291 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:48,760 Speaker 2: basically a sign to pay attention and to consolidate worthwhile memories. 292 00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:51,560 Speaker 2: But it can also lead to a lot of rumination 293 00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:55,879 Speaker 2: overthinking about the right way or the wrong way to 294 00:17:55,960 --> 00:18:01,600 Speaker 2: be spending, saving, investing. This chronic app apprehension and stress, 295 00:18:02,359 --> 00:18:05,679 Speaker 2: even when objectively you might not have much to worry about. 296 00:18:06,359 --> 00:18:11,000 Speaker 2: And crucially, this reaction is different for each of us. 297 00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:13,239 Speaker 2: And this is where I really want to introduce you 298 00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:17,719 Speaker 2: to this very fascinating concept of our money languages and 299 00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:22,680 Speaker 2: our money archetypes. All of that and more. After this shortbreak, 300 00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:29,880 Speaker 2: I think we all know the deal with love languages 301 00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:33,600 Speaker 2: by now. This is this idea introduced by doctor Gary Chapman, 302 00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:36,400 Speaker 2: that each of us has a unique way of expressing 303 00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:40,160 Speaker 2: and receiving love, whether that's acts of service, words of affirmation, 304 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:44,200 Speaker 2: quality time, the list goes on. Well, it turns out 305 00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:47,440 Speaker 2: that each of us also has a unique language when 306 00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:50,879 Speaker 2: it comes to money. But in this instance, there are 307 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:55,040 Speaker 2: nine archetypes or nine languages instead of five, and they 308 00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:58,960 Speaker 2: are the anxious, the saver, the spender, the investor, the giver, 309 00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:02,720 Speaker 2: the order, the void, the monk, and the greedy. That 310 00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:06,439 Speaker 2: is a lot of different labels to take notice of, 311 00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:11,320 Speaker 2: but the archetype or language that most represents us is 312 00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:15,640 Speaker 2: basically determined by our emotional attachment to money and how 313 00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:20,040 Speaker 2: it is mentally represented in our brains. Basically, what I'm 314 00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:21,520 Speaker 2: saying and what I mean by this is when you 315 00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:23,720 Speaker 2: think about money, is it with anxiety, is it with 316 00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:30,000 Speaker 2: longing to stain, apathy? Joy? And this will basically dictate 317 00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:33,040 Speaker 2: how you end up going about well, you know, of 318 00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:35,840 Speaker 2: course feeling about the money you have, but also your 319 00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:40,760 Speaker 2: behaviors towards spending. Your behavior is towards saving, investing, all 320 00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:43,680 Speaker 2: of the above, and it's really dictated by your childhood 321 00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:47,480 Speaker 2: experiences with money, how your parents spoke about money, the 322 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:49,760 Speaker 2: culture you grew up in, and even elements of our 323 00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:55,200 Speaker 2: personality like impulsiveness, cautiousness, things like that. And once again 324 00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:59,040 Speaker 2: I really want to express that this is really what 325 00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:03,480 Speaker 2: influences is our level of anxiety, our level of stress, 326 00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:07,800 Speaker 2: our level of arousal, even when it comes to dealing 327 00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:11,399 Speaker 2: with our finances. So let's go through these, and just 328 00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:14,160 Speaker 2: while we're talking about them, see if one of these 329 00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:16,560 Speaker 2: really draws you in more, or if you just find 330 00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:19,760 Speaker 2: your ears kind of perking up, you find yourself relating 331 00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:23,080 Speaker 2: to these different archetypes, or if you can see them 332 00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:27,040 Speaker 2: reflected in maybe a parent or a partner or a friend. 333 00:20:27,119 --> 00:20:30,640 Speaker 2: Even so, let's start with the anxious. This is often 334 00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:33,359 Speaker 2: the money language of those of us who grew up 335 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:38,200 Speaker 2: with very little, and so all of our interactions with budgeting, saving, 336 00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:44,679 Speaker 2: financing are centered around these very prominent anxious thoughts, such as, 337 00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:48,200 Speaker 2: what happens when I don't have money? Will it all 338 00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:52,000 Speaker 2: be taken away at some point? What happens when the 339 00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:53,000 Speaker 2: tap dries out? 340 00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:55,400 Speaker 1: Even when you do. 341 00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:58,120 Speaker 2: Have a steady income, when you do have that savings 342 00:20:58,160 --> 00:21:02,440 Speaker 2: account stocked up, So when you do have I don't know, investments, assets, 343 00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:06,000 Speaker 2: you still have this feeling. You still have this feeling 344 00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:09,199 Speaker 2: that at some point it's all going to disappear or 345 00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:12,000 Speaker 2: that it isn't going to last, and that you can't 346 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:15,959 Speaker 2: get used to this state. So basically, there is a 347 00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:19,359 Speaker 2: lot of apprehension when it comes to this language. Thinking 348 00:21:19,359 --> 00:21:22,800 Speaker 2: about money a lot, checking a bank account, frequently seeing 349 00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:24,879 Speaker 2: everything in terms of a dollar value and what the 350 00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:28,480 Speaker 2: opportunity cost of that is, basically meaning what could that 351 00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:30,680 Speaker 2: money have brought you and would it have been better. 352 00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:34,320 Speaker 2: Some people might call this a fixation, which in some 353 00:21:34,359 --> 00:21:38,080 Speaker 2: ways it is, but it's not a fixation with accumulating 354 00:21:38,119 --> 00:21:43,320 Speaker 2: as much wealth as possible. It's a fixation with worrying 355 00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:47,159 Speaker 2: about your survival when it comes to money, and it 356 00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:51,600 Speaker 2: really comes from a permanent scarcity mindset in psychology but 357 00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:55,520 Speaker 2: also in economics. Actually, scarcity mindset is a pattern of 358 00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:59,000 Speaker 2: thinking that really focuses on what you don't have and 359 00:21:59,040 --> 00:22:01,560 Speaker 2: an underlying belief that you could never possibly have enough 360 00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:03,720 Speaker 2: of the things that you want to need. Can you 361 00:22:03,760 --> 00:22:06,680 Speaker 2: see what kind of cycle this creates for else mentally 362 00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:11,240 Speaker 2: and emotionally, where at no point are you ever at peace, 363 00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:14,520 Speaker 2: Even when you have money to spare or to spend, 364 00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:18,760 Speaker 2: you're always in your mind kind of facing a reality 365 00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:22,520 Speaker 2: of having nothing. There's no reprieve, there's no kind of 366 00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:25,680 Speaker 2: break from it. So that's the first money language. Next 367 00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:30,400 Speaker 2: up we have the saver. Now, the saver is also 368 00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:34,840 Speaker 2: known as the stressor, so this person is very cautious 369 00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:38,480 Speaker 2: when handling their money. They derive a lot of satisfaction 370 00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:42,200 Speaker 2: from seeing their savings grow because it feels like they're 371 00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:45,560 Speaker 2: doing something with it that is safe and practical. Brings 372 00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:48,560 Speaker 2: a sense of security, but also because they might not 373 00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:51,800 Speaker 2: be sure what really to do with their money, or 374 00:22:52,119 --> 00:22:55,440 Speaker 2: like the anxious, they're really worried about a time when 375 00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:58,840 Speaker 2: they won't have money, But instead of that making them 376 00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:03,399 Speaker 2: behave right, maybe irrationally or just fixate on the on 377 00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:05,800 Speaker 2: the fear, the way that they approach it is just 378 00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:09,000 Speaker 2: by saving as much as they can. And whilst this 379 00:23:09,119 --> 00:23:11,800 Speaker 2: can mean that they're very good at avoiding frivolous spending, 380 00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:17,720 Speaker 2: sometimes they also miss out on opportunities. They miss out 381 00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:22,000 Speaker 2: on instances in which they could change jobs and men 382 00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:25,479 Speaker 2: make more money because there may be this, you know, 383 00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:28,800 Speaker 2: concern that if they were to do that, that might 384 00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:34,320 Speaker 2: impact their primary inclination, their primary behavior, which is to 385 00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:36,760 Speaker 2: save and to save as much as they can and 386 00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:39,000 Speaker 2: to make this little ness for themselves so they never 387 00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:43,040 Speaker 2: have to worry. This is similar to the hoarder, but 388 00:23:43,119 --> 00:23:46,640 Speaker 2: the distinction is that the stressor or the saver, their 389 00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:50,200 Speaker 2: primary kind of impulse is to save, but they will 390 00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:53,520 Speaker 2: spend when they need to. The hoarder takes it to 391 00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:57,240 Speaker 2: the extreme. If you've ever met someone who will literally 392 00:23:57,280 --> 00:23:59,879 Speaker 2: not spend a cent on going out for dinner or 393 00:23:59,880 --> 00:24:03,959 Speaker 2: buying groceries or buying the essentials that they need, that 394 00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:09,879 Speaker 2: is a hoarder. It can make them really isolated and obsessive. 395 00:24:10,119 --> 00:24:15,160 Speaker 2: And specifically, they are hoarding money not with the intention 396 00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:19,119 Speaker 2: to spend it, sometimes not with the intention to even 397 00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:21,280 Speaker 2: allow it to have a better life in the future. 398 00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:24,840 Speaker 2: It's just almost like, I don't even know how to 399 00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:27,639 Speaker 2: explain it. I'm trying to remember how someone explained it 400 00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:30,800 Speaker 2: to me once. But it's basically just like a comfort thing. 401 00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:34,520 Speaker 2: If I hold this money, it's just comfortable to know 402 00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:36,679 Speaker 2: that I have it, even if I really have no 403 00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:41,000 Speaker 2: intention of ever spending it. Next, we have the spender. Now, 404 00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:43,960 Speaker 2: this person, actually, the spender is one of my favorite 405 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:47,119 Speaker 2: profiles to really talk about, because this person derives a 406 00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:50,439 Speaker 2: lot of joy and satisfaction from seeing their money in 407 00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:54,800 Speaker 2: experiences or material goods. Now, I said it's my favorite, 408 00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:56,840 Speaker 2: not because it's the best, but because I just find 409 00:24:56,880 --> 00:24:59,560 Speaker 2: it the most interesting and the most unique out of 410 00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:02,600 Speaker 2: all of these. They really tend to live in the moment, 411 00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:06,920 Speaker 2: and they may prioritize immediate gratification over long term savings, 412 00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:10,919 Speaker 2: even when that is costly to them or impulsive, And 413 00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:15,960 Speaker 2: the spender is often impulsive because money becomes a mean 414 00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:20,040 Speaker 2: through which to manage their emotions. I'm feeling sad, I 415 00:25:20,119 --> 00:25:23,959 Speaker 2: spend to soothe. Feeling happy, I spend to celebrate. So 416 00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:27,960 Speaker 2: their spending habits are chronic, but they're also tied to 417 00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:30,880 Speaker 2: what they're going through, So no matter where they're at 418 00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:34,520 Speaker 2: on that emotional spectrum, there's always a need, there's always 419 00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:38,800 Speaker 2: a reason to buy something. To note, a twenty twenty 420 00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:42,600 Speaker 2: one paper actually suggests that the spender is on the 421 00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:45,840 Speaker 2: rise because so many of us no longer see the 422 00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:49,200 Speaker 2: value in saving for things like a house, like big 423 00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:53,760 Speaker 2: financial goals, because we kind of believe that we'll never 424 00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:57,119 Speaker 2: be able to get them anyways, So why bother when 425 00:25:57,160 --> 00:26:01,520 Speaker 2: we can really lean into our hedonistic tendencies and we 426 00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:06,719 Speaker 2: can kind of prioritize pleasure over everything else. The pleasure 427 00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:09,520 Speaker 2: of a new outfit, the pleasure of a nice wine, 428 00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:12,600 Speaker 2: of a fancy dinner, of a new couch. I don't 429 00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:14,520 Speaker 2: know why I said couch. I'm thinking about buying a 430 00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:16,520 Speaker 2: new couch, so that's probably where it comes from. But 431 00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:19,439 Speaker 2: you kind of get what I mean, lavish trips, but 432 00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:23,399 Speaker 2: it's not so much for looks. It's not for status. 433 00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:27,040 Speaker 2: It's because I just kind of want to. Very counter 434 00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:29,919 Speaker 2: to the spender, we have the investor. They are very 435 00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:33,440 Speaker 2: focused on growing wealth through investments. They kind of sometimes 436 00:26:33,480 --> 00:26:35,840 Speaker 2: see money as something to play with or something to 437 00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:39,040 Speaker 2: make work for them, and they get really excited, maybe 438 00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:43,640 Speaker 2: obsessed with knowing more about the stock market, financial fluctuations, 439 00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:46,640 Speaker 2: when to buy, when to sell, but that can really 440 00:26:46,680 --> 00:26:51,520 Speaker 2: make them overly focused on financial returns. Sometimes they can 441 00:26:51,560 --> 00:26:56,920 Speaker 2: also become gamblers because they see gambling as an investment, 442 00:26:57,560 --> 00:27:00,480 Speaker 2: kind of like this saver. Sometimes they don't actually spend 443 00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:02,800 Speaker 2: when they need to because either they don't have any 444 00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:06,080 Speaker 2: money because they've invested it all, or because they really 445 00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:08,680 Speaker 2: like to see money as this thing to play with 446 00:27:09,119 --> 00:27:12,680 Speaker 2: that can make more money. This kind of financial alchemy 447 00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:15,399 Speaker 2: that they can perform. This is very similar to the 448 00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:19,199 Speaker 2: amassa our six archetype. This is also known as the 449 00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:24,520 Speaker 2: greed archetype. Some people often confuse this with the with 450 00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:28,280 Speaker 2: the saver, but this individual isn't accumulating wealth for a 451 00:27:28,359 --> 00:27:33,760 Speaker 2: sense of security, but as a measure of success and status. 452 00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:37,800 Speaker 2: They are highly motivated to put money away and gain 453 00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:43,199 Speaker 2: as much as possible to eventually convert into highly coveted 454 00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:47,600 Speaker 2: possessions or to appear impressive to have a really cool portfolio. 455 00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:51,080 Speaker 2: In that way, the mass is often driven I would say, 456 00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:55,080 Speaker 2: my ego and can become really obsessed with money as 457 00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:57,760 Speaker 2: a resource for maintaining their image rather than as a 458 00:27:57,800 --> 00:28:00,280 Speaker 2: resource to make their day to day life better. And 459 00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:02,760 Speaker 2: you can see how that really ties into mental health, 460 00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:06,199 Speaker 2: where the only way they feel good about themselves and 461 00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:11,200 Speaker 2: about their lives is when they are growing this portfolio 462 00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:15,520 Speaker 2: of what they're worth and what they have something that 463 00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:17,439 Speaker 2: you'll quickly realize we've only got a few more to go. 464 00:28:17,520 --> 00:28:20,440 Speaker 2: But with these archetypes, with these languages, they often come 465 00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:24,720 Speaker 2: in pairs, and these pairs sit in opposition, so opposite pairs. 466 00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:27,000 Speaker 2: I guess they kind of sit in our position with 467 00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:29,760 Speaker 2: each other. And that's the case with the amassa and 468 00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:34,440 Speaker 2: the giver. So the amassa is really looking to stock up, 469 00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:39,440 Speaker 2: but the giver sees money is something to donate, to share, 470 00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:44,320 Speaker 2: to be generous with, to use to help others. Think 471 00:28:44,360 --> 00:28:48,280 Speaker 2: about your friend who is kind of always donating to 472 00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:51,160 Speaker 2: those random growthundmes that like pop up on their TikTok. 473 00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:54,479 Speaker 2: The friend who will shower you in gifts on your 474 00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:58,040 Speaker 2: birthday despite the fact that her rent is late, who 475 00:28:58,080 --> 00:29:02,560 Speaker 2: was very selfs us with their money. Often these people 476 00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:05,880 Speaker 2: have been raised to be very generous, but they can 477 00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:12,440 Speaker 2: also be very financially negligent and mismanaged, and they lack 478 00:29:12,480 --> 00:29:15,600 Speaker 2: boundaries around money that can get them in a lot 479 00:29:15,640 --> 00:29:19,320 Speaker 2: of trouble. They're lending money to friends, to family, pay 480 00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:21,920 Speaker 2: me back whenever, and it's kind of like, well, eventually 481 00:29:22,520 --> 00:29:25,200 Speaker 2: you do kind of need a system around where your 482 00:29:25,200 --> 00:29:28,360 Speaker 2: money's going to who it's going to. So we have 483 00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:30,400 Speaker 2: two more. Hopefully I'm not going too fast few, but 484 00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:32,800 Speaker 2: you can always listen back and hopefully it's clear what 485 00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:35,120 Speaker 2: the distinctions are. I think when you really start to 486 00:29:35,120 --> 00:29:37,200 Speaker 2: think about them, it becomes a lot more apparent. But 487 00:29:37,240 --> 00:29:39,080 Speaker 2: the last do we have are the avoid and the Monk. 488 00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:41,960 Speaker 2: Let's start with the monk first, because I really want 489 00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:43,520 Speaker 2: to hone in on the avoid as one of as 490 00:29:43,560 --> 00:29:46,600 Speaker 2: our last archetypes so it stays with you. The monk 491 00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:50,080 Speaker 2: is actually super rare, but they believe that money is 492 00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:52,760 Speaker 2: essentially the root of all evil. And it makes us 493 00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:56,080 Speaker 2: unfulfilled to the point where they are happy to accept 494 00:29:56,200 --> 00:30:01,080 Speaker 2: poverty over sometimes even meeting their basic needs. They're very 495 00:30:01,120 --> 00:30:05,600 Speaker 2: content with a minimalist life, but they can also overlook 496 00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:10,280 Speaker 2: the practical necessity of money. Like I said, not very common. 497 00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:13,600 Speaker 2: I honestly don't think I've met anyone like this. In 498 00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:15,680 Speaker 2: my mind and in my circles. It's much more common 499 00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:20,200 Speaker 2: to meet a giver who kind of unintentionally rids themselves 500 00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:23,760 Speaker 2: of their financial possessions, not because they think it's evil, 501 00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:25,720 Speaker 2: because they think of all the good that it can 502 00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:27,760 Speaker 2: do for their friends and family, and they just kind 503 00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:31,760 Speaker 2: of are quite blase about it. But the final archetype 504 00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:34,720 Speaker 2: is the avoid And let me say there as loud 505 00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:38,080 Speaker 2: and clear, as far as us twenty somethings go, the 506 00:30:38,120 --> 00:30:40,520 Speaker 2: avoid is the one that I see the most of 507 00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:44,239 Speaker 2: in my own life. For sure. They don't want to know. 508 00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:46,840 Speaker 2: They don't want to know what's in their bank account. 509 00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:48,800 Speaker 2: They don't want to know how much they're saving or 510 00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:52,080 Speaker 2: investing or spending, or what bills they have coming up, 511 00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:55,800 Speaker 2: what they spend on the weekend. And it's often because 512 00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:59,520 Speaker 2: we experience a lot of emotional distress even thinking about money, 513 00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:03,520 Speaker 2: even thinking about our finances. A lot of this comes 514 00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:06,680 Speaker 2: from fear, either from struggling in the past, feeling like 515 00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:09,840 Speaker 2: no matter what, you won't you're not educated or capable 516 00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:14,880 Speaker 2: of really treating your money healthily or in a way 517 00:31:14,920 --> 00:31:18,520 Speaker 2: that's going to work for you. And it's really based 518 00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:23,120 Speaker 2: on some simple psychological principles avoid bad feelings, and we 519 00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:25,560 Speaker 2: feel better avoid thinking about money, and we don't feel 520 00:31:25,560 --> 00:31:28,840 Speaker 2: stressed about money. But this can get us in a 521 00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:32,680 Speaker 2: lot of trouble. I feel like that goes without saying, 522 00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:35,480 Speaker 2: and it can end up getting us into an even 523 00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:39,600 Speaker 2: worse place than we were when we began this habit, 524 00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:44,120 Speaker 2: because the money is still being spent, The money is 525 00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:47,719 Speaker 2: still going somewhere, even if we're not thinking about it, 526 00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:52,440 Speaker 2: even if we are consciously or unconsciously ignoring it. And 527 00:31:52,520 --> 00:31:57,200 Speaker 2: all that we're doing there is trying to navigate mediate 528 00:31:57,760 --> 00:32:01,920 Speaker 2: mitigate our emotional response to money by just pretending that 529 00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:05,840 Speaker 2: whatever's going on in our finances doesn't exist, turning a 530 00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:08,200 Speaker 2: blind eye. And I also want to say, I think 531 00:32:08,240 --> 00:32:10,720 Speaker 2: this is really common in our twenties because we don't 532 00:32:10,760 --> 00:32:13,920 Speaker 2: feel like we're very financially literate and because there are 533 00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:17,240 Speaker 2: just like so many There's just so many times when 534 00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:20,719 Speaker 2: like hidden expenses come up, we feel like we're stupid 535 00:32:20,840 --> 00:32:25,320 Speaker 2: or silly for not noticing them. We feel kind of 536 00:32:25,400 --> 00:32:30,960 Speaker 2: ridiculous or really quite i don't know, impulsive, or just 537 00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:33,880 Speaker 2: dumb for like spending money on certain things. And I 538 00:32:33,920 --> 00:32:37,280 Speaker 2: think it's just this whole environment of a lot of 539 00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:40,720 Speaker 2: us are just confused and not educated around how to 540 00:32:40,760 --> 00:32:42,880 Speaker 2: spend money, and we're really learning a lot of those 541 00:32:43,320 --> 00:32:46,440 Speaker 2: financial consequences of money mismanagement for the first time, and 542 00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:49,160 Speaker 2: it's embarrassing and kind of gives us an ego check. 543 00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:52,560 Speaker 2: It makes us feel quite negatively about ourselves. And of 544 00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:55,440 Speaker 2: course our mind loves to protect our ego. It wants 545 00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:57,920 Speaker 2: to protect our sense of self, and so in order 546 00:32:57,960 --> 00:33:00,160 Speaker 2: to do that, it stops us from thinking about how 547 00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:04,440 Speaker 2: we've messed up, stop something thinking about our mistakes. This 548 00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:07,640 Speaker 2: is a great example really of why we need to 549 00:33:07,680 --> 00:33:12,400 Speaker 2: start interrogating this relationship that we have with money that 550 00:33:12,520 --> 00:33:16,640 Speaker 2: comes from our psychology, because I think in all of 551 00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:22,640 Speaker 2: those instances, something is not quite right, something is a 552 00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:26,640 Speaker 2: little bit off balance. And when we don't figure out 553 00:33:26,640 --> 00:33:31,120 Speaker 2: what the emotional and cognitive reactions to money are, or 554 00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:34,400 Speaker 2: we don't really start thinking about what's influencing our behavior. 555 00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:38,920 Speaker 2: We keep getting an outcome that intensifies that initial need 556 00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:41,960 Speaker 2: to be very one tracked minded when it comes to money, 557 00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:45,560 Speaker 2: to avoid, to splurge, to a mass, to save intensely. 558 00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:49,960 Speaker 2: In every instance, though, although you might feel more positively 559 00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:52,120 Speaker 2: about one of those languages or archetypes in the other, 560 00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:56,520 Speaker 2: we are still controlled by money. Our money language is 561 00:33:56,560 --> 00:34:01,200 Speaker 2: still in response to an underlying sense or lack of control, 562 00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:04,520 Speaker 2: or anxiety or stress. So what I want to talk 563 00:34:04,560 --> 00:34:08,200 Speaker 2: about next is how we can approach our finances, whatever 564 00:34:08,239 --> 00:34:11,800 Speaker 2: they may be, with a healthy attitude, with the best 565 00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:15,040 Speaker 2: mindset we can possibly muster, so that A we can 566 00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:17,040 Speaker 2: actually do the best we can with what we have 567 00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:20,040 Speaker 2: in our twenties, with what we're making. B we can 568 00:34:20,080 --> 00:34:24,200 Speaker 2: reduce some of the subjective stress and see we can 569 00:34:24,239 --> 00:34:28,080 Speaker 2: actually start to put in place helpful, productive strategies when 570 00:34:28,080 --> 00:34:30,720 Speaker 2: it comes to thinking about money. So it's not always 571 00:34:30,760 --> 00:34:33,279 Speaker 2: the news around our next, so it's not always controlling 572 00:34:33,320 --> 00:34:37,400 Speaker 2: that controlling us. So all of that and more after 573 00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:44,640 Speaker 2: this shortbreak. Okay, I do want to say one more 574 00:34:44,640 --> 00:34:47,080 Speaker 2: time than I'm not a financial coach. That is not 575 00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:50,200 Speaker 2: my specialty. So I'm not going to give you specific 576 00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:53,040 Speaker 2: financial tips about where to invest what to do with 577 00:34:53,120 --> 00:34:55,440 Speaker 2: your money, because I do believe that's up to you, 578 00:34:55,520 --> 00:34:58,880 Speaker 2: and obviously I don't know your individual circumstances. But what 579 00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:01,640 Speaker 2: I can help you with is the mental side of things, 580 00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:03,920 Speaker 2: and for that I have a number of tips for 581 00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:07,759 Speaker 2: you that I've learned from therapist who specialize in financial anxiety, 582 00:35:08,200 --> 00:35:11,320 Speaker 2: from academic papers, and even some of my own experiences 583 00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:15,280 Speaker 2: as well. Firstly, I really just want you to notice 584 00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:20,799 Speaker 2: whether your financial anxiety and financial distress is objective or subjective. 585 00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:25,080 Speaker 2: Are you objectively unable to meet your needs, pay your bills, 586 00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:27,560 Speaker 2: have a bit left over for you and your interests? 587 00:35:28,280 --> 00:35:32,319 Speaker 2: Or is this more of a subjective appraisal stemming from 588 00:35:32,480 --> 00:35:37,640 Speaker 2: a scarcity mindset or an ingrained anxious attitude towards your finances. 589 00:35:38,520 --> 00:35:41,759 Speaker 2: Here are really three questions to ask yourself in order 590 00:35:41,800 --> 00:35:47,360 Speaker 2: to tell which of these you're experiencing. Are you consistently 591 00:35:47,400 --> 00:35:50,680 Speaker 2: worried about your finances even when you have a stable 592 00:35:50,719 --> 00:35:56,560 Speaker 2: income and stable savings. If yes, that indicates subjective financial anxiety. 593 00:35:56,560 --> 00:35:59,960 Speaker 2: If no, objective when you think about your financial future, 594 00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:04,480 Speaker 2: do you worry more about unlikely scenarios like you know, 595 00:36:04,560 --> 00:36:07,360 Speaker 2: losing your savings all of a sudden, or do you 596 00:36:07,400 --> 00:36:11,080 Speaker 2: worry more about real and current changes. Real and current 597 00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:17,440 Speaker 2: changes is objective. Financial future hypotheticals are subjective. Have you 598 00:36:17,520 --> 00:36:21,160 Speaker 2: reviewed your budget and found that your expenses exceeded your 599 00:36:21,200 --> 00:36:25,800 Speaker 2: income and that you can't afford basic necessities? Yes, indicate 600 00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:31,399 Speaker 2: its objective. No equals subjective. The thing is you may 601 00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:36,040 Speaker 2: still be feeling stressed regardless of whether it's subjective or objective. 602 00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:39,319 Speaker 2: I don't think that there's like a competition, but as 603 00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:41,920 Speaker 2: you just think that there are going to be different 604 00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:45,600 Speaker 2: strategy is depending on where you sit. If it's objective 605 00:36:45,719 --> 00:36:49,560 Speaker 2: financial difficulties that you're managing, you're going to need a 606 00:36:49,600 --> 00:36:53,400 Speaker 2: more practical based strategy. I would really encourage you to 607 00:36:53,440 --> 00:36:56,440 Speaker 2: really just get into your financial basics. Do you have 608 00:36:56,480 --> 00:36:59,600 Speaker 2: a budget? Who can you talk to professionally to help 609 00:36:59,640 --> 00:37:04,320 Speaker 2: you manage your money? Can you ask friends or family 610 00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:08,480 Speaker 2: to help? What needs or ways of spending need to 611 00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:12,440 Speaker 2: change to make your situation more secure? What do you 612 00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:15,160 Speaker 2: know about your bank account? What do you know about 613 00:37:15,520 --> 00:37:18,960 Speaker 2: even your daily spending. It's crazy how many people, I 614 00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:21,000 Speaker 2: think have a lot of problems with money in this 615 00:37:21,080 --> 00:37:24,759 Speaker 2: generation when they are making enough money to survive, but 616 00:37:24,880 --> 00:37:28,040 Speaker 2: they just never really look they never really look at 617 00:37:28,040 --> 00:37:32,120 Speaker 2: what they're spending and what that's on. I also really 618 00:37:32,120 --> 00:37:34,920 Speaker 2: recommend that if it's not a case of like you 619 00:37:34,960 --> 00:37:37,200 Speaker 2: actually have the money there, you're just not spending it, well, 620 00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:40,600 Speaker 2: go and talk to a financial counselor who can help 621 00:37:40,640 --> 00:37:45,080 Speaker 2: you with managing debt, with managing bills. There is literally 622 00:37:45,120 --> 00:37:47,240 Speaker 2: no shame in it. There is no shame. The amount 623 00:37:47,239 --> 00:37:50,560 Speaker 2: of people who have struggles with money or who just 624 00:37:50,600 --> 00:37:54,040 Speaker 2: don't really know what to do is just in the millions, 625 00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:57,239 Speaker 2: probably in the billions, because it's not a system that 626 00:37:57,360 --> 00:38:01,040 Speaker 2: was created to be understandable by everyone. So there are 627 00:38:01,160 --> 00:38:03,000 Speaker 2: so many, so many services. A lot of them are 628 00:38:03,040 --> 00:38:07,240 Speaker 2: from the not for profit sector that offer this service 629 00:38:07,280 --> 00:38:09,839 Speaker 2: for free, that will let you come in and will 630 00:38:09,960 --> 00:38:15,000 Speaker 2: help you through whatever it is you're experiencing money wise. Also, 631 00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:19,560 Speaker 2: you know, financial literacy is a huge asset if you're 632 00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:23,120 Speaker 2: experiencing a lot of objective financial stress. The lack of 633 00:38:23,200 --> 00:38:26,760 Speaker 2: financial literacy we have in the lack of financial education 634 00:38:26,880 --> 00:38:32,640 Speaker 2: that we receive is abysmal, like it's genuinely criminal. The 635 00:38:32,719 --> 00:38:36,280 Speaker 2: fact that you go through decades of school learning about 636 00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:39,359 Speaker 2: calculus and history. No one's going to tell you how 637 00:38:39,360 --> 00:38:42,000 Speaker 2: to ask for a raise, No one's going to tell 638 00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:45,239 Speaker 2: you how to apply for a home loan, how to 639 00:38:45,280 --> 00:38:48,200 Speaker 2: set up a household budget, how to find deals for 640 00:38:48,280 --> 00:38:51,719 Speaker 2: your expenses, where to go for help. But when we 641 00:38:51,800 --> 00:38:55,560 Speaker 2: have more knowledge, we feel more empowered to really not 642 00:38:55,680 --> 00:38:58,759 Speaker 2: live under the thumb of money. Again, I'm not a 643 00:38:58,760 --> 00:39:02,560 Speaker 2: financial advisor, keiping my advice on the rather brief side 644 00:39:02,680 --> 00:39:04,960 Speaker 2: of this, but I do think that there are a 645 00:39:04,960 --> 00:39:08,560 Speaker 2: lot of options out there, and if this is something 646 00:39:08,560 --> 00:39:11,920 Speaker 2: that is gravely impacting your mental health, there is a 647 00:39:11,960 --> 00:39:15,840 Speaker 2: way to find a solution that is going to leave 648 00:39:15,880 --> 00:39:19,080 Speaker 2: you being able to just have the money you need 649 00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:21,960 Speaker 2: to survive, but also the money that you need to 650 00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:25,000 Speaker 2: not constantly be worried about it, to not constantly be 651 00:39:25,080 --> 00:39:28,200 Speaker 2: hung up on things, to find an avenue out, to 652 00:39:28,200 --> 00:39:31,160 Speaker 2: find a better opportunity that's going to kind of elevate 653 00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:35,759 Speaker 2: your financial situation. And let's move on to subjective financial 654 00:39:35,800 --> 00:39:41,279 Speaker 2: anxiety here, because whereby objective financial difficulty really requires a 655 00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:48,000 Speaker 2: practical approach, subjective financial stress requires a more psychological and 656 00:39:48,120 --> 00:39:52,359 Speaker 2: emotional plan of attack. To begin with, I really want 657 00:39:52,440 --> 00:39:55,719 Speaker 2: you to understand your money behaviors and your money archetype. 658 00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:58,440 Speaker 2: So think back to that list we gave, and I 659 00:39:58,480 --> 00:40:01,000 Speaker 2: want you to have having ideas to find where you sat, 660 00:40:01,719 --> 00:40:05,320 Speaker 2: understand where that language or archetype may have come from, 661 00:40:05,640 --> 00:40:08,960 Speaker 2: and the habit loop that is associated with it. Remember, 662 00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:13,880 Speaker 2: subjective financial anxiety is having money and still feeling worried 663 00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:18,719 Speaker 2: despite all of your needs being secured. I really want 664 00:40:18,719 --> 00:40:21,239 Speaker 2: you to notice, and this is a really good exercise, 665 00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:24,719 Speaker 2: how you feel when you get paid, because that is 666 00:40:24,760 --> 00:40:27,319 Speaker 2: obviously a time when money is quite prominent. It's on 667 00:40:27,360 --> 00:40:30,400 Speaker 2: our minds. We're very flushed with cash. What is your 668 00:40:30,440 --> 00:40:33,120 Speaker 2: first instinct? Is it to go out and spend it all? 669 00:40:33,840 --> 00:40:36,600 Speaker 2: Is it to avoid looking at what needs to be paid? 670 00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:41,000 Speaker 2: Is it to invest it immediately or to just immediately 671 00:40:41,080 --> 00:40:46,160 Speaker 2: put it all away? Just notice what your first instinct 672 00:40:46,200 --> 00:40:49,440 Speaker 2: is to do. I will say, if you are obviously 673 00:40:49,600 --> 00:40:52,440 Speaker 2: in a period where you're trying to say for a house, 674 00:40:52,480 --> 00:40:54,760 Speaker 2: you're trying to save for a car and overseas holiday, 675 00:40:55,320 --> 00:40:57,960 Speaker 2: trying to pay off debt, and you have a strategy 676 00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:01,080 Speaker 2: that is balanced, that is not your own money archetype, 677 00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:05,840 Speaker 2: you have consciously overridden your archetype to meet your daily 678 00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:08,880 Speaker 2: needs and what's actually happening in your current reality. But 679 00:41:09,239 --> 00:41:12,400 Speaker 2: you still may have an underlying urge to treat something 680 00:41:12,480 --> 00:41:16,080 Speaker 2: as emotional rather than practical. So even if you have 681 00:41:16,120 --> 00:41:18,200 Speaker 2: an overarching strategy, what I want you to notice is 682 00:41:18,239 --> 00:41:21,120 Speaker 2: the initial impulse. Like you know you should be putting 683 00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:24,319 Speaker 2: twenty percent into a savings account, but what if as 684 00:41:24,360 --> 00:41:26,040 Speaker 2: soon as you get paid, your impulses to go out 685 00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:29,319 Speaker 2: and buy. Then your money archetype is probably that of 686 00:41:29,360 --> 00:41:33,000 Speaker 2: the spender. So when you kind of know where you sit, secondly, 687 00:41:33,760 --> 00:41:37,160 Speaker 2: think back to when you first started thinking about money 688 00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:41,000 Speaker 2: this way. Was it those hard times in childhood? Was 689 00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:43,359 Speaker 2: it not being taught financial literacy when you got your 690 00:41:43,400 --> 00:41:48,319 Speaker 2: first job. Because just being able to identify that route, 691 00:41:48,440 --> 00:41:53,600 Speaker 2: that origin, therefore allows you to notice situations that feel 692 00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:57,359 Speaker 2: similar and which may be confronting for you, and which 693 00:41:57,400 --> 00:42:01,799 Speaker 2: may be triggering you to rely on your money archetype 694 00:42:01,840 --> 00:42:06,200 Speaker 2: even when it's not working. So some really common triggers 695 00:42:06,280 --> 00:42:10,880 Speaker 2: that I tend to see are periods of stress. Is 696 00:42:11,239 --> 00:42:14,200 Speaker 2: when I'm spending too much time on social media. When 697 00:42:14,239 --> 00:42:19,440 Speaker 2: we're upset, grumpy, agitated, going through a big life change, 698 00:42:19,920 --> 00:42:22,640 Speaker 2: we just don't have the mental energy to think about 699 00:42:22,680 --> 00:42:24,719 Speaker 2: money in a way that is rational and helpfuls do 700 00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:31,239 Speaker 2: we revert to that very instinctual and emotional approach. Remember 701 00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:37,719 Speaker 2: often that instinctual approach, that money archetype is defensive and 702 00:42:37,760 --> 00:42:40,880 Speaker 2: it's protective based on what you felt you liked or 703 00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:43,759 Speaker 2: what you couldn't control, maybe at an earlier point in 704 00:42:43,800 --> 00:42:48,320 Speaker 2: your life. And so you're applying this approach of hoarding, avoiding, splurging, saving, 705 00:42:48,960 --> 00:42:52,440 Speaker 2: whatever it is, maybe to self soothes, maybe because it 706 00:42:52,480 --> 00:42:55,600 Speaker 2: brings things back into control, maybe because you just don't 707 00:42:55,640 --> 00:42:58,799 Speaker 2: know how else to do it. So take note of 708 00:42:58,840 --> 00:43:02,040 Speaker 2: your triggers because that helps us understand our habit loop. 709 00:43:02,040 --> 00:43:04,360 Speaker 2: Now I've been kind of teasing you with this habit 710 00:43:04,400 --> 00:43:07,360 Speaker 2: loop idea, but this is a concept that was created 711 00:43:07,360 --> 00:43:10,560 Speaker 2: by this man, doctor Judd, and he's actually a neuroscientist 712 00:43:10,800 --> 00:43:14,760 Speaker 2: specializing an addiction, but his idea of a habit loop 713 00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:18,759 Speaker 2: also applies to money. Basically, a habit loop contains three things, 714 00:43:18,800 --> 00:43:22,040 Speaker 2: a trigger, a behavior, and a result. The trigger could 715 00:43:22,040 --> 00:43:24,720 Speaker 2: be really anything that causes you to think about money 716 00:43:24,719 --> 00:43:28,279 Speaker 2: in a way that is irrational or distressing, and it 717 00:43:28,320 --> 00:43:31,719 Speaker 2: contributes to the behaviors aligned with your money archetype, and 718 00:43:31,760 --> 00:43:34,800 Speaker 2: that results in the same thing happening, the same outcome 719 00:43:34,800 --> 00:43:38,000 Speaker 2: occurring again and again and again. You revert to spending 720 00:43:38,040 --> 00:43:40,880 Speaker 2: because you're feeling upset. That's the trigger. You don't have 721 00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:43,239 Speaker 2: enough money available to you to last you till your 722 00:43:43,239 --> 00:43:47,959 Speaker 2: next get paid. You feel very judged for not having 723 00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:51,000 Speaker 2: as much as other people. That's going to make you 724 00:43:51,040 --> 00:43:54,920 Speaker 2: feel like you need to amass more money now. To 725 00:43:55,080 --> 00:43:58,760 Speaker 2: break the habit loop, we need to interrupt the cycle 726 00:43:59,120 --> 00:44:02,920 Speaker 2: at the behavior, the moment you feel the compulsion to 727 00:44:03,040 --> 00:44:07,640 Speaker 2: just immediately fall back into what's instinctual pause and really 728 00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:11,160 Speaker 2: start to focus on what you actually want from your money. 729 00:44:11,480 --> 00:44:14,239 Speaker 2: An amazing tip for doing this that I got from 730 00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:18,360 Speaker 2: someone I was interviewing for this episode was to imagine 731 00:44:18,480 --> 00:44:21,600 Speaker 2: the next two months, then one year, and then five years. 732 00:44:22,239 --> 00:44:25,239 Speaker 2: What are your long term goals within each of those periods. 733 00:44:25,719 --> 00:44:28,120 Speaker 2: What is the lifestyle you want in two months, in 734 00:44:28,160 --> 00:44:31,759 Speaker 2: one year, then five will that make you happy? Is 735 00:44:31,800 --> 00:44:34,239 Speaker 2: that possible? And what do you need to get there? 736 00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:39,160 Speaker 2: Focus on making this goal or vision realistic. Firstly, so 737 00:44:39,360 --> 00:44:41,480 Speaker 2: scale it back to match what you actually have coming in, 738 00:44:41,560 --> 00:44:46,279 Speaker 2: what your expenses are actually like, and then start to 739 00:44:46,360 --> 00:44:49,680 Speaker 2: plan and start to really sew down for a second 740 00:44:50,040 --> 00:44:53,080 Speaker 2: and think about whether the way we're spending money now 741 00:44:53,640 --> 00:44:55,600 Speaker 2: is going to let us meet that vision we have 742 00:44:55,680 --> 00:44:59,239 Speaker 2: for two months, one year, and five years. When you 743 00:44:59,320 --> 00:45:02,960 Speaker 2: go to spend, save, invest, whatever it is, think about 744 00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:07,360 Speaker 2: what period this best suits, and make sure that you 745 00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:11,800 Speaker 2: are equally distributing your financial choices across these three periods. 746 00:45:11,800 --> 00:45:13,160 Speaker 2: So when she first explained to me, I was a 747 00:45:13,160 --> 00:45:15,200 Speaker 2: little bit confused. I was like, what are you talking about? 748 00:45:15,640 --> 00:45:17,880 Speaker 2: But this is what she told me. She said, you know, 749 00:45:17,920 --> 00:45:21,600 Speaker 2: for example, when you buy and your outfit, that is 750 00:45:21,640 --> 00:45:24,080 Speaker 2: something that your two month self really really wants. That's 751 00:45:24,120 --> 00:45:28,640 Speaker 2: the lifestyle your two month self will enjoy having cool clothes, 752 00:45:28,840 --> 00:45:30,920 Speaker 2: having great clothes that maybe they don't really need but 753 00:45:31,000 --> 00:45:34,080 Speaker 2: they want. So you can still spend the money, but 754 00:45:34,120 --> 00:45:36,120 Speaker 2: when you do, you also need to be thinking about 755 00:45:36,160 --> 00:45:38,799 Speaker 2: your one year self. For all that money that you 756 00:45:38,800 --> 00:45:41,920 Speaker 2: are spending on your two month self, are you also 757 00:45:42,120 --> 00:45:45,520 Speaker 2: putting money into an emergency fund so that in one year, 758 00:45:45,600 --> 00:45:47,799 Speaker 2: when your car breaks down you need to get a 759 00:45:47,840 --> 00:45:50,520 Speaker 2: tooth removed, you can still be able to afford that. 760 00:45:51,280 --> 00:45:53,200 Speaker 2: And then there is the five year self, your long 761 00:45:53,280 --> 00:45:57,600 Speaker 2: term investments, your long term high interest savings account. Are 762 00:45:57,600 --> 00:46:00,680 Speaker 2: you only thinking about money that you'll need for that 763 00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:03,160 Speaker 2: trip in a year, and not the money you'll need 764 00:46:03,760 --> 00:46:08,359 Speaker 2: for life or the money that you'll need for long 765 00:46:08,440 --> 00:46:12,920 Speaker 2: term financial independence. Kind of be thinking about that as well, 766 00:46:12,960 --> 00:46:18,520 Speaker 2: and balance your financial decisions across these three time periods. Now, 767 00:46:18,560 --> 00:46:21,080 Speaker 2: I will say the five year time period, I'm not 768 00:46:21,160 --> 00:46:24,719 Speaker 2: the best at putting money towards my five year lifestyle, 769 00:46:25,120 --> 00:46:27,920 Speaker 2: my five year goal, my five year vision. Think I 770 00:46:27,960 --> 00:46:30,200 Speaker 2: am leaning more towards like the one to two year 771 00:46:30,280 --> 00:46:33,600 Speaker 2: period and definitely like what my two month self wants, 772 00:46:33,640 --> 00:46:36,080 Speaker 2: Like my two month self wants the memories of going 773 00:46:36,080 --> 00:46:37,879 Speaker 2: out for dinner with my friends, and my two month 774 00:46:37,960 --> 00:46:41,439 Speaker 2: self wants to go to this new restaurant and wants 775 00:46:41,440 --> 00:46:43,280 Speaker 2: to buy these new clothes and buy these new books 776 00:46:43,360 --> 00:46:47,319 Speaker 2: and whatever. But really, I think that shows that I 777 00:46:47,360 --> 00:46:52,319 Speaker 2: am maybe an avoid myself. HI sometimes don't really think 778 00:46:52,360 --> 00:46:55,719 Speaker 2: about money because it stresses me out. So the real 779 00:46:55,760 --> 00:46:59,680 Speaker 2: thing here is that balance is key. This really helps us, 780 00:46:59,719 --> 00:47:03,200 Speaker 2: I think, clear out the maze around money and align 781 00:47:03,280 --> 00:47:06,239 Speaker 2: our behavior to a broader goal without feeling overwhelmed by 782 00:47:06,239 --> 00:47:10,840 Speaker 2: our current circumstances or feeling overwhelmed by the potential hypotheticals 783 00:47:10,840 --> 00:47:13,560 Speaker 2: for the future. This is like a great system to 784 00:47:13,600 --> 00:47:17,280 Speaker 2: be like, Okay, I know where my money is going. 785 00:47:17,640 --> 00:47:19,520 Speaker 2: I know that it is balanced. I know that one 786 00:47:20,400 --> 00:47:23,799 Speaker 2: slice of the pie is not overtaking the others. I 787 00:47:23,840 --> 00:47:27,120 Speaker 2: also really want you to be realistic about your finances, 788 00:47:27,640 --> 00:47:32,400 Speaker 2: which means swapping out irrational appraisals of your situation with 789 00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:35,640 Speaker 2: logic and truth. I heard from this listener the other day. 790 00:47:35,640 --> 00:47:40,000 Speaker 2: He was like, no matter what, I'm constantly stressed about money. 791 00:47:40,200 --> 00:47:42,040 Speaker 2: She was telling me about how she had a relative 792 00:47:42,080 --> 00:47:45,920 Speaker 2: pass away. She got something like twenty thousand dollars. Obviously 793 00:47:45,920 --> 00:47:48,160 Speaker 2: I'm keeping her anonymous, but yeah, she got this huge 794 00:47:48,160 --> 00:47:50,719 Speaker 2: windfall of cash. And she was like, all throughout my 795 00:47:50,760 --> 00:47:52,560 Speaker 2: life I thought that once that would happen, I would 796 00:47:52,600 --> 00:47:56,880 Speaker 2: be okay, And yet I'm still stressed. So when you 797 00:47:56,920 --> 00:47:59,520 Speaker 2: start to get paralyzed, when you start to feel overwhelmed, 798 00:48:00,320 --> 00:48:03,560 Speaker 2: I have a checklist for you to basically determine whether 799 00:48:03,600 --> 00:48:06,560 Speaker 2: your current worries are based on circumstances that are actually 800 00:48:06,600 --> 00:48:09,880 Speaker 2: happening or their future fears. And if it's based on 801 00:48:09,880 --> 00:48:12,839 Speaker 2: something that's currently happening, you can problem solve it. If 802 00:48:12,840 --> 00:48:15,520 Speaker 2: it's based on future fears. Then you need to manage 803 00:48:16,080 --> 00:48:19,320 Speaker 2: not actually your money, but your anxiety towards your money. 804 00:48:19,800 --> 00:48:21,959 Speaker 2: So if you check all these boxes, that really gives 805 00:48:21,960 --> 00:48:26,720 Speaker 2: you permission to worry about money another day when something changes. 806 00:48:27,680 --> 00:48:30,680 Speaker 2: So I have a steady income that covers my basic needs, 807 00:48:30,800 --> 00:48:33,239 Speaker 2: yes or no. I can pay my bills on time, 808 00:48:33,320 --> 00:48:36,839 Speaker 2: yes or no. My debt is under control. I have 809 00:48:36,880 --> 00:48:40,240 Speaker 2: an emergency fund that could cover me if things drastically changed. 810 00:48:41,000 --> 00:48:45,120 Speaker 2: There are no immediate financial crises like a redundancy or 811 00:48:45,200 --> 00:48:48,359 Speaker 2: unexpected large expenses that I need to address right now. 812 00:48:49,280 --> 00:48:52,360 Speaker 2: If you answered yes, you can take a pause for 813 00:48:52,400 --> 00:48:55,160 Speaker 2: a second. The reality of your situation is that you 814 00:48:55,200 --> 00:48:57,759 Speaker 2: don't need to be worrying right now. If one of 815 00:48:57,760 --> 00:48:59,560 Speaker 2: those is a no, then you can start to think 816 00:48:59,600 --> 00:49:04,080 Speaker 2: about it solution because you are now experiencing objective financial stress, 817 00:49:04,480 --> 00:49:06,680 Speaker 2: and we already really spoke about some of the strategies 818 00:49:06,680 --> 00:49:09,600 Speaker 2: for that. But there really is a way through. I 819 00:49:09,640 --> 00:49:12,760 Speaker 2: promise you. I promise you. I've seen people in serious 820 00:49:12,840 --> 00:49:16,560 Speaker 2: debt pull it together, pull themselves out of it, still 821 00:49:17,040 --> 00:49:20,759 Speaker 2: find help, find success. I know that money is so 822 00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:25,520 Speaker 2: uniquely stressful during this decade because it never feels like 823 00:49:25,640 --> 00:49:29,880 Speaker 2: we have enough because we are just getting our financial footing. 824 00:49:30,480 --> 00:49:32,480 Speaker 2: But I also know that many of us are in 825 00:49:32,520 --> 00:49:35,320 Speaker 2: the same boat. About seventy two percent of us, based 826 00:49:35,320 --> 00:49:39,320 Speaker 2: on recent estimates by the American Psychological Association, are thinking 827 00:49:39,440 --> 00:49:42,600 Speaker 2: and worrying about money. So take solace that you are 828 00:49:42,600 --> 00:49:46,400 Speaker 2: not alone. You're definitely not behind, you are definitely not 829 00:49:46,600 --> 00:49:50,240 Speaker 2: isolated in your fears. Please try and prioritize your mental 830 00:49:50,239 --> 00:49:53,520 Speaker 2: health throughout this all because money comes and goes. I know, 831 00:49:53,600 --> 00:49:55,440 Speaker 2: I say, I know, I said that. I don't like 832 00:49:55,480 --> 00:49:57,920 Speaker 2: when people say that, but it's true. There will be 833 00:49:57,960 --> 00:50:00,600 Speaker 2: times when you're doing better in times when things aren't 834 00:50:00,600 --> 00:50:04,160 Speaker 2: going as well. But your mental state, your psychological well being, 835 00:50:04,800 --> 00:50:07,320 Speaker 2: is not always something that you can recover as easily 836 00:50:07,400 --> 00:50:11,480 Speaker 2: as money. It is a much more fruitful investment to 837 00:50:11,560 --> 00:50:15,879 Speaker 2: invest in your mental health than anything that money can buy. 838 00:50:16,520 --> 00:50:20,239 Speaker 2: Because once your mental health, I think, really slips, it 839 00:50:20,280 --> 00:50:24,440 Speaker 2: does take so much time, I think, to help yourself 840 00:50:24,480 --> 00:50:26,799 Speaker 2: get back on track. So talk to your friends about it, 841 00:50:27,280 --> 00:50:30,680 Speaker 2: connect with others over their own worries, find people in 842 00:50:30,719 --> 00:50:34,319 Speaker 2: the same situation. Don't neglect your self care because there 843 00:50:34,360 --> 00:50:37,200 Speaker 2: is a lot that is free and affordable that is 844 00:50:37,280 --> 00:50:40,040 Speaker 2: going to still help you feel great without making you 845 00:50:40,080 --> 00:50:43,120 Speaker 2: even more financially stressed. You know, a walk in the park, 846 00:50:43,400 --> 00:50:46,560 Speaker 2: a swim in the ocean, a guided meditation that's all free, 847 00:50:46,760 --> 00:50:50,400 Speaker 2: a yoga video on YouTube, some deep breaths. You know, 848 00:50:50,560 --> 00:50:54,120 Speaker 2: breathing is free, a glass of water is free. Money 849 00:50:54,320 --> 00:50:57,720 Speaker 2: and mental health don't always mix that well. But also, 850 00:50:57,760 --> 00:50:59,680 Speaker 2: if you're in your twenties, you are just at the beginning, 851 00:51:00,200 --> 00:51:02,080 Speaker 2: and I think the most crucial thing for you to 852 00:51:02,080 --> 00:51:04,520 Speaker 2: do is to get an understanding of the ways that 853 00:51:04,560 --> 00:51:07,680 Speaker 2: you emotionally relate to money during this decade. That is 854 00:51:07,719 --> 00:51:10,719 Speaker 2: one of the best tips and steps that you need 855 00:51:10,760 --> 00:51:14,640 Speaker 2: for a financially independent future, and I really hope that 856 00:51:14,680 --> 00:51:17,360 Speaker 2: you find it. So thank you so much for listening 857 00:51:17,440 --> 00:51:21,000 Speaker 2: to today's episode. Although it is close to an hour long, 858 00:51:21,040 --> 00:51:23,319 Speaker 2: I do feel like I missed some things because you 859 00:51:23,400 --> 00:51:26,799 Speaker 2: just get so wrapped up sometimes in the topic and 860 00:51:26,920 --> 00:51:29,360 Speaker 2: in your approach to it. So if there is something 861 00:51:29,360 --> 00:51:31,120 Speaker 2: else that you want to talk about that you think 862 00:51:31,160 --> 00:51:34,000 Speaker 2: could be added to this conversation, please shoot me a damn. 863 00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:35,880 Speaker 2: I'd love to do a follow up episode based on 864 00:51:35,920 --> 00:51:38,600 Speaker 2: your stories, based on your thoughts. Make sure that you 865 00:51:38,640 --> 00:51:41,640 Speaker 2: are following along on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, wherever you are 866 00:51:41,680 --> 00:51:44,520 Speaker 2: listening right now, give us a five star review. If 867 00:51:44,560 --> 00:51:47,200 Speaker 2: you enjoyed this episode, send it to someone that you 868 00:51:47,320 --> 00:51:50,920 Speaker 2: love that you think could benefit from it, and, as always, 869 00:51:51,040 --> 00:51:55,799 Speaker 2: until next time, stay safe, stay kind, be gentle to yourself, 870 00:51:56,200 --> 00:52:02,560 Speaker 2: and we will talk very very soon,