Speaker 1: But I invited you here, thought I made myself perfectly clear.
Speaker 1: But you're a guest to my home. You gotta come
Speaker 1: to me empty, and I said, no guests. Your presences
Speaker 1: presents enough. I already had too much stuff, So how.
Speaker 2: Did you dare to surbey me? Welcome to? I said,
Speaker 2: no gifts. I'm Bridger Wineker. We're in the backyard. Absolutely
Speaker 2: nothing is happening in my life. I'm I'm in an
Speaker 2: absolute free fall spiral and it's somehow very boring. Nothing
Speaker 2: going on. I mean, the event this week was about
Speaker 2: a half hour ago. I went and bought some new
Speaker 2: Cottage cheese, so that will be kind of a snack
Speaker 2: coming up from me. And then that's it. That's a
Speaker 2: little picture of my world. We do have the live
Speaker 2: show coming up. You've probably heard that if you've ever
Speaker 2: listened to this podcast at this point, but if you
Speaker 2: have not pulled the trigger, you need to go to
Speaker 2: Dynasty typewriter dot com and either buy a ticket or
Speaker 2: buy the live stream, or stop listening to this podcast.
Speaker 2: Get lost. Okay, let's get into the show. I love
Speaker 2: today's guest. I think he's so funny. It's Sam O Sam.
Speaker 2: Welcome to. I said no gifts, thank you. I'm so
Speaker 2: excited to be here. The energy this morning is interesting
Speaker 2: for me and I apolog joints.
Speaker 3: Now, there are screaming children at school at Recess, and
Speaker 3: I feel like it provides a beautiful ambiance conversation.
Speaker 2: Kind of like a bed of joy kind of, yes,
Speaker 2: an audio bed. You know, remember joy? Remember that? Yeah,
Speaker 2: but I do. It's been a long time since I
Speaker 2: was at Recess. Sure, sure, what were you doing at Recess? Oh?
Speaker 3: I wasn't very athletic, so I's probably sitting maybe reading
Speaker 3: or doing like characters with my friends.
Speaker 2: Oh. Like, there was one game.
Speaker 3: I used to have a very weird friend who wore
Speaker 3: all black in elementary schools, very early goth. She was
Speaker 3: scary actually, and we were best friends, and she would
Speaker 3: make us play this game called Dragons, and we would
Speaker 3: just sort of like hunch over and like at each
Speaker 3: other for the whole time. Yeah, yeah, that's what I
Speaker 3: was doing.
Speaker 2: Like communicate through hiss hiss it.
Speaker 3: And I didn't know dragons hissed, but I guess that's
Speaker 3: how they talk.
Speaker 2: Probably like conversationally. I feel like they're known for roaring,
Speaker 2: but I feel like, just like over dinner or whatever,
Speaker 2: it's probably more Yeah, yeah, you can't be roaring all
Speaker 2: the time. Yeah, what sort of home life is that? Oh?
Speaker 3: I think you're asking about my friend's home life, Like,
Speaker 3: probably what's happening with her parents?
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I hope she's still alive. I mess her, reach out,
Speaker 3: I will reach out. I'll get back on Facebook. I'll
Speaker 3: find her.
Speaker 2: When was the last time you saw her? Maybe? Maybe
Speaker 2: high school?
Speaker 3: I think we you know, when you like know somebody
Speaker 3: in elementary or middle and then you get too high
Speaker 3: school and then you act like you've never met them.
Speaker 2: The drifting is so interesting. I think that that happened, Yeah,
Speaker 2: because most people have as elementary schoolers kind of the
Speaker 2: same interest, right, we're all basically watching the same cartoon
Speaker 2: or what better in Jelli and Yeah, and then as
Speaker 2: sixth grade rolls around, that's when the ruptures happened.
Speaker 3: You know, That's when I think some people get like
Speaker 3: get their puberty early, Like, oh, mine came more.
Speaker 2: Like eighth grade. I was like twenty eight.
Speaker 3: I mean the part yeah, parts of it I'm still
Speaker 3: waiting for. But but some people developed like earlier. So
Speaker 3: then I feel like what happened, Yeah, you get to
Speaker 3: middle school and then it's like there's sluts and not sluts,
Speaker 3: and I was not.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like the not sluts are just people
Speaker 2: who haven't gone through puberty yet, right right. Yeah.
Speaker 3: And I didn't date or anything, but people become like
Speaker 3: boy crazy or whatever.
Speaker 2: Yeah, did you take like the high road? We were like, well,
Speaker 2: I'm just in control. I'm just not a slut, and
Speaker 2: you guys are you're in trouble. Yeah. I was like,
Speaker 2: watch me not master Bay for four more years? Easy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, let me just do my geometry.
Speaker 2: Yeah. In elementary school, did you have to go to
Speaker 2: them like a maturation program? What?
Speaker 1: Now?
Speaker 2: What it was like they for us, they would split
Speaker 2: up the boys and girls. You would go with the
Speaker 2: parent and they would like run you through everything over
Speaker 2: the course of like a half hour. That sounds really violent.
Speaker 2: It was very strange. And we left with a trial
Speaker 2: sized deodorant and a baseball card.
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, that parents when I involved in my school,
Speaker 3: actually they just had to sign off on the assembly
Speaker 3: or whatever, but yes they would. In fifth grade, they
Speaker 3: there was like it was co ed. They showed us
Speaker 3: like a nineteen fifties like informational video about changing bodies. Yeah,
Speaker 3: like very pre war vibe or whatever. And then yeah,
Speaker 3: and then they would separate us, give us pads or
Speaker 3: write old spice. Was it old spices?
Speaker 2: Old spice and old spice burns my armpits. Oh yeah,
Speaker 2: it's it's intoxic. Yeah, it is a poison. To give
Speaker 2: that to ten year old is wow? Wow, that probably
Speaker 2: like delayed my puberty. The topsins in that probably did
Speaker 2: something to me hormonally.
Speaker 3: I think you can trace all your problems back to
Speaker 3: the old Spice to a trial old Yeah. Yeah, it's
Speaker 3: arctic blue always.
Speaker 2: Wow, yours ours was red, oh, you know, like very classic,
Speaker 2: like this is for someone over seventy. Oh, we're giving
Speaker 2: it to nine year olds. We got some new flavors,
Speaker 2: new flavors. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 2: It did feel like Old Spice had like a with
Speaker 2: all those commercials and like the mid oughts to like
Speaker 2: tens where they were doing the yeah commercials, they were
Speaker 2: trying to be young. What was that the famous one
Speaker 2: on the horse and they were like, was it this
Speaker 2: guy that was in all of them? Yeah? I think
Speaker 2: his name was Isaiah something.
Speaker 3: He was really hot, shirtless and he would always be
Speaker 3: on a horse And what's their slogan it's like go big,
Speaker 3: oh spicy, and no, that's not it. I was going
Speaker 3: to say the best a man can get, but I
Speaker 3: think that's jillette.
Speaker 2: Oh interesting, the best men can get. It sounds like
Speaker 2: you're settling.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's the best you you can do.
Speaker 2: This is all you could get. Well, that's interesting that
Speaker 2: you would start co ed. That's very progressive. But you're
Speaker 2: from La.
Speaker 3: Right, I'm yeah, I'm from the valley.
Speaker 2: So you had a little more forward thinking elementary school mate, Well,
Speaker 2: where are you from Utah? Which you know it was
Speaker 2: really is, you know, pounding down gender roles and this
Speaker 2: is what you are? Then did you grow up Mormon?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, oh okay, And so now i'm piecing together
Speaker 2: where everything starting is extremely clear.
Speaker 3: It's just okay, okay, your shirt makes sense. Now have
Speaker 3: your own.
Speaker 2: Listener. I'm wearing an incredible shirt. It looks great. No,
Speaker 2: it looks fantastic. I love it. No, I was I'm
Speaker 2: from Utah. I hope that the programs there have developed
Speaker 2: a little bit since I was in elementary school. But like, yeah,
Speaker 2: I remember even in high school, like our health class,
Speaker 2: our sex education, like our teacher just said, don't have
Speaker 2: sex until you get married, and then you can have
Speaker 2: as much sex as you want. And that was the
Speaker 2: end of the conversation. Wow, So which doesn't really set
Speaker 2: you up for anything. No, no, except for maybe getting pregnant.
Speaker 2: Abstinence education, yeah yeah, and I mean like even the
Speaker 2: briefest of abstence, it was like, we're just not gonna
Speaker 2: even talk about this.
Speaker 3: I don't yeah, I don't remember sex being really discussed.
Speaker 3: I think it was just like you're gonna get stinky,
Speaker 3: and like.
Speaker 2: It was ready to get it's a game show. Yeah,
Speaker 2: we all a fortune music? Yeah, well, who's ready? I
Speaker 2: think you know what.
Speaker 3: The only time I really something from health class, like
Speaker 3: really stayed with me was my uh middle school health
Speaker 3: class where the teacher was like, don't do anal it's
Speaker 3: not natural. Things are only supposed to go out, not
Speaker 3: go in. And I remember revealing, Oh, and that stayed
Speaker 3: with me and that's why I haven't done it to
Speaker 3: this day.
Speaker 2: So if the listeners would like, all that shuts down
Speaker 2: all sex, that philosophy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, you can't have any fun, you can't do anything.
Speaker 2: The teacher was confused. They had probably like wandered in from.
Speaker 3: She had a gay husband and she was mad about it.
Speaker 3: All you do in bed is read and go to sleep,
Speaker 3: that's right, and then you rub your bits and a
Speaker 3: baby happens. I've never clearly don't know what I'm talking about, Like, yeah,
Speaker 3: come to think about I was that middle school teacher
Speaker 3: that would you would you ever teach as a like,
Speaker 3: could you ever see yourself doing that?
Speaker 2: I I've had a couple of close encounters with teaching
Speaker 2: in college. I was a lunch lady at an elementary
Speaker 2: school and I was like the same size as all
Speaker 2: of the elementary schoolers, which was intimidating. Yeah. Then I
Speaker 2: was a an after school teacher for second graders at
Speaker 2: a private school, which was absolute hell. Oh yeah. Second
Speaker 2: graders are like the sort of person that like they've
Speaker 2: gotten to a point where they have enough personality that
Speaker 2: they can really start thinking about being horrible. Sure, and
Speaker 2: so they were all mean, evil and they're rich. They
Speaker 2: were rich, right, so like they already were starting in
Speaker 2: a bad place. For me, was like, I just don't
Speaker 2: like any of you. Yeah, and then they all had
Speaker 2: different awful personalities. So yeah, and when you can't kick
Speaker 2: them part of the job, you can't. That's how I
Speaker 2: lost my job. Okay. That job was weird because after
Speaker 2: they were supposed to be picked up at a specific time,
Speaker 2: and this was the one good thing. If they didn't
Speaker 2: get picked up, their parents got charged a dollar a minute,
Speaker 2: and you got all of that money. So after five
Speaker 2: o'clock you're kind of just like, well, I hope the
Speaker 2: parent doesn't show up for two hours because I will
Speaker 2: just be rich.
Speaker 3: Lock them in a closet and then and rack up
Speaker 3: all that money. Wait, can you give me the name
Speaker 3: of the school?
Speaker 2: And I don't want to maybe on this podcast, because
Speaker 2: I think they've taken a far right turn in recent years,
Speaker 2: have slowly become more conservative and like Liberty Universe, like
Speaker 2: Patriot Kids or whatever. Wow, would you teach?
Speaker 3: I know, because I would kick the kids. I would
Speaker 3: I hate I It's not that I hate children. I
Speaker 3: actually do love children from Afar. Actually that sounded for you.
Speaker 2: Know, before I got a pair of binoculars or a telescope.
Speaker 3: Yeah, before I got here, I was just sort of
Speaker 3: watching the children at Recess from Afar for an hour.
Speaker 3: I yeah, I think I can't be involved because I
Speaker 3: will scream or or I'll be like this is what
Speaker 3: you know?
Speaker 2: Your features gotta look like and kind of scare.
Speaker 3: Them, and I will ruin Santa for them immediately because
Speaker 3: it was ruined for me.
Speaker 2: When was a ruined for you?
Speaker 3: Like like I never believed to stand it, Like probably
Speaker 3: five years old, I was just like, Okay.
Speaker 2: Who ruined it?
Speaker 3: I think my parents, okay, because I was just like
Speaker 3: when they were not like sentimental and so they wouldn't
Speaker 3: like get me presents, and I'd be like, what the fuck?
Speaker 2: What? I was so good this year? What the hell?
Speaker 3: And then they'd be like, yeah, sorry, he's not real,
Speaker 3: So that's why you didn't get any. They were just
Speaker 3: trying to make me feel better, right right, They're just
Speaker 3: telling you what the real world was. Yeah, and that's
Speaker 3: why I'm here today. I'm real as hell, real, pure true.
Speaker 2: I learned and I think I was third grade. I
Speaker 2: remember a kid named Christopher ruined it for almost all
Speaker 2: of us. It was like kids. I think the kids
Speaker 2: who have much older siblings are usually the ones that
Speaker 2: ruin it for other kids. Yeah, because like they're they
Speaker 2: have a sister in high school or whatever, and death
Speaker 2: and spoils, they'll ruin. They'll ruin Santa. Then they'll show
Speaker 2: you porns, yes, and then they'll make you grnk. It's
Speaker 2: the same person, always the same person, and that's the
Speaker 2: person who usually ends up in jail. Yeah, if you
Speaker 2: have much older siblings.
Speaker 3: Unfortunately, the science the science statistic show hit right for
Speaker 3: and did you know know? Also statistics show that if
Speaker 3: you have more older brothers, then as a if you
Speaker 3: are a boy, you are more likely to be gay.
Speaker 2: I've heard this, Is this completely true? I mean I don't.
Speaker 2: I'm I have two older brothers.
Speaker 3: Also, this is another story, but I didn't know about
Speaker 3: them until I was ten. Oh okay, Wow, my mom
Speaker 3: had two kids before me, uh and my sister, but
Speaker 3: we did not know.
Speaker 2: About them until later. Wow. Can we get into that?
Speaker 2: I guess we can. I'm curious. I mean, she there southern.
Speaker 3: They live in Arkansas, and she because she came from
Speaker 3: Korea in the seventies, okay, and married this crazy man,
Speaker 3: crazy man, American man.
Speaker 2: This actually sat kind of sad story. And then she
Speaker 2: had she had to he died, okay, and she had
Speaker 2: to give them up for adoption because she doesn't have
Speaker 2: any you know, skills or language.
Speaker 3: Or this is a bad, bad time. The seventies in
Speaker 3: Arkansas rough for a Korean lady. Nah, A good time,
Speaker 3: I cannot imagine. And then so they yeah, they were adopted,
Speaker 3: and then they grew up separately from me, and then
Speaker 3: she met my dad had me and my sister, and
Speaker 3: then when I was ten, they they like found her
Speaker 3: social Security number somewhere and reached out and then I
Speaker 3: learned about them then. And then I've you know, known
Speaker 3: them since.
Speaker 2: Then, And do you have is there like a good relationship? No?
Speaker 3: No, actually I don't know. They're just doing their own thing.
Speaker 3: We're just very different. But we still, like I saw
Speaker 3: them most recently, like last year, so we continued.
Speaker 2: And they have a decent relationship with your mom at
Speaker 2: this point.
Speaker 3: It's sure, I think, as good as you can for
Speaker 3: your mom being sort of a stranger to you and
Speaker 3: like later on in life. But she's also she's she's
Speaker 3: a funky late she's very Christian. I grew up really
Speaker 3: really religious, and I think they're a little like.
Speaker 2: What what the fuck? Call back? What the fuck? She's
Speaker 2: very Yeah. I think maybe they weren't expecting her to
Speaker 2: be like so religious. Okay, so the like the friction
Speaker 2: is coming from her.
Speaker 3: It's we're not gonna blame this. I mean, she's she's
Speaker 3: just a menace. She's just causing. Yeah, she needs to
Speaker 3: get it together. Yeah, read the room girl, That's what
Speaker 3: I'm always saying to her. Read the room. But she's
Speaker 3: the drama.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're back to I mean the fact that you
Speaker 2: have two older brothers did make you gay?
Speaker 3: Because before I probably, Yeah, I thought I didn't. Why
Speaker 3: am I stuttering like.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go clearly very nervous. We'll move on, We'll
Speaker 2: move on. Not gay. I don't know what.
Speaker 3: You're Yeah, I think if I hadn't, because if I
Speaker 3: hadn't known about them, then I'd be like that study
Speaker 3: has no weight.
Speaker 2: But not knowing, right, that does make a lot of sense.
Speaker 2: Is it just like genetics just says, Okay, we've done,
Speaker 2: we've done two straights, let's try to make it up. Yeah.
Speaker 3: It's like later Madonna album where she's like, I've.
Speaker 2: Got to do something new. I'm bored. I want to
Speaker 2: be relevant. Yeah, let's let's do hip hop. Let's experiment
Speaker 2: with the European producer. That's right, Yeah, let's start. Yeah,
Speaker 2: let's put M I A on the track. Do you
Speaker 2: remember that you're really getting into deep? I'm gonna into
Speaker 2: later where she where she starts to like work with
Speaker 2: every younger woman artist to like kind of stay the blond,
Speaker 2: drink the blood, drink the blood. The m I A
Speaker 2: thing that was was that one? Is that the song
Speaker 2: where it's kind of like cheerleading?
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was am I a Nicki Minaj and they
Speaker 3: performed at the super Bowl.
Speaker 2: Was that produced by Sophie? I don't think so, Okay,
Speaker 2: some Sophie. Did Sophie come in at some point? She did?
Speaker 2: She did come in somewhere at some point that Madonna tends. Oh,
Speaker 2: I don't know, we'd have to that. I hope I'm
Speaker 2: right about that. But there was there was a period
Speaker 2: where Madonna seemed to just be, you know, firing at
Speaker 2: every target. Yes, I mean, god bless, she could have
Speaker 2: been doing the same thing for years, have gotten boring,
Speaker 2: and she decided to just be a mess. And she's
Speaker 2: still killing it. She's still killing Every song is better
Speaker 2: than the last.
Speaker 3: The transition from I have two older brothers, I'm gay
Speaker 3: to it's just like Madonna.
Speaker 2: It's very kind of proving the point. Yeah.
Speaker 3: And also yeah, and my older sister is bye too,
Speaker 3: So yeah, we're both queer and so I think, Yeah,
Speaker 3: I think it's the the two straight brothers really sucked
Speaker 3: it up for us.
Speaker 2: I've been straight, I had a good life. You could
Speaker 2: think of the things you could be doing.
Speaker 3: Right now, I'm at a high tops on a Friday night, begging,
Speaker 3: begging him for attention.
Speaker 2: Do you go out? Control of this podcast? Do you
Speaker 2: go out? I don't go out. Last night, I we
Speaker 2: went to dinner, my boyfriend and I and then after
Speaker 2: and I was like, I feel like doing something fun.
Speaker 2: And then I thought, what is fun? What? What do
Speaker 2: people do?
Speaker 3: And that's it's because you have a boyfriend, and that's
Speaker 3: what happens.
Speaker 2: I guess you become happy and well that's I mean,
Speaker 2: that isn't true. Okay, deeply unhappy person. Where where is he?
Speaker 2: He's in the house here and we can bring him out.
Speaker 2: Let's bring We can't bring him onto the podcast. He
Speaker 2: will destroy whatever we're talking about. Oh what's he like?
Speaker 2: He's a wild animal? Oh okay, okay, he'll dominate what
Speaker 2: ever we're saying. Now. The listeners like, bring him out.
Speaker 2: He's a top. It's not.
Speaker 3: He's a domb. Okay, I see that. That's what I need.
Speaker 2: That's what you need someone to get you in line.
Speaker 3: That's right, that's yeah, because I'm I'm crazy. I'm crazy,
Speaker 3: I'm mentally ill.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like you're a very sedate, very you
Speaker 2: have like a pleasant presence. Oh that's really.
Speaker 3: Thank you, that's really nice. You are really wrong about
Speaker 3: that now. I think that's it's like a quiet storm
Speaker 3: where like other people think, I'm calm and grounded, and
Speaker 3: inside there's a whirl with things that makes I can
Speaker 3: relate to that in some ways stormy.
Speaker 2: I see it in your eyes, there's a storm of ruin.
Speaker 2: I'm blinking really fast. We're both like, heay, what older brothers?
Speaker 3: You know?
Speaker 2: I yeah, I've got to find something fun to do.
Speaker 2: What I just feel like that's not even a thing
Speaker 2: that can happen anymore. Yeah, it is that bad to say.
Speaker 2: Am I just describing my depression? What's our version of recess?
Speaker 2: Our old? Our old people? We're old? Yeah, we're old people.
Speaker 2: Like what do you do? And then like things that
Speaker 2: are like outright fun where it's like physical activities like
Speaker 2: that's trying too hard? Sure, and then I just ended
Speaker 2: up watching TV?
Speaker 3: What about like making your own pottery? See that's not
Speaker 3: a bad idea, yeah.
Speaker 2: Or even painting it. One of those painting play paints.
Speaker 2: What they're like, paint me, color me mine, color me
Speaker 2: paints paints mine. There's one of those feelings. It was
Speaker 2: the last fun activity I did before the pandemic. Actually,
Speaker 2: what is that called glazefire? It's on Hillhurst there. I
Speaker 2: went and painted a hideous mug and you have it,
Speaker 2: I do. It's just tail and all on the side.
Speaker 2: I think it's still my favorite word. For a long time,
Speaker 2: it was my favorite word. I'm a Thailand all girl,
Speaker 2: I'm but I love the word tilan a.
Speaker 3: Oh interesting, why are you? What's I just I like it?
Speaker 3: I like, yeah, I'm I'm eating I mean them a
Speaker 3: lot every day.
Speaker 2: I don't know, because there is I think that's a
Speaker 2: fun word too. Well, what how do you spell that? Said? Oh?
Speaker 2: I don't know. Ace all right, that's the generic of
Speaker 2: it or whatever the yeah, the chemical name or whatever.
Speaker 2: And advil is an aspirin is that's ibuprofe. Ibuprofen. That's
Speaker 2: is not as fun to say, no, but more interesting
Speaker 2: because it's ibu and we've all decided it's ib profin
Speaker 2: either than ib profin, iboo profi boo I boo profan. Yeah,
Speaker 2: well so I will alternate. When I'm really sick, I
Speaker 2: think every four hours, I'll just do maximum dose of whatever.
Speaker 2: But for me, you're going to catch me taking an
Speaker 2: advil first. I don't know if it's just mentally, I
Speaker 2: think that does something better. Yeah, imagine they should do
Speaker 2: their own special thing I from what is this fun?
Speaker 2: I think the listeners, like a listener right now is like,
Speaker 2: please get to the bottom of this. Why would I
Speaker 2: kick Advilla in one scenario, Tail and all another and
Speaker 2: you're not.
Speaker 3: Even getting We're not sponsored by either, well not only
Speaker 3: giving them so much airtime.
Speaker 2: This is kind of a bake off between til and Advil,
Speaker 2: which will be the sponsor for the podcast.
Speaker 3: This is what my understanding of the difference is. Tilan
Speaker 3: alls for fevers and Advil is for like muscle aches
Speaker 3: and pains.
Speaker 2: Oh stuff like that. See I would have said the opposite.
Speaker 2: So these companies are doing a bad job of kind
Speaker 2: of signaling what they should be used for. Yeah, they're
Speaker 2: hoping hoping you'll just buy one bottle and hope that
Speaker 2: it takes care of everything.
Speaker 3: They'll they're looking for brand loyalty from us, like how
Speaker 3: we like how I get Apple stuff right?
Speaker 2: Android stuff? Right? Are you an Android person? Not at all? Okay,
Speaker 2: I feel like a Mac girl. Yeah. I worked at
Speaker 2: the Apples store when you're like last week ago, this
Speaker 2: is before, this is during college. This was during college,
Speaker 2: and I was a bad employee. No, no, no, I
Speaker 2: was just on the floor line to people. Oh, because
Speaker 2: I didn't know anything about any of the products at
Speaker 2: the time. I only owned an iPod. I didn't own
Speaker 2: a Mac computer or anything. So when people would have questions,
Speaker 2: I would just make things up.
Speaker 1: Oh.
Speaker 2: So that's just something to keep in mind if you're
Speaker 2: shopping at the Apple store, if someone's really confident to
Speaker 2: your own research before you take the bait, I think
Speaker 2: you just have.
Speaker 3: To repeat the word processor again and again and people
Speaker 3: would be like, yeah, you know what you're talking about
Speaker 3: exactly exactly. Well, Tyler and all Advil, we never really
Speaker 3: got to the bottom of what which is which?
Speaker 2: But honestly, do you have an idea?
Speaker 4: I mean all I know is that, uh, I mean
Speaker 4: for me, Thailand all doesn't work, so wow, So yeah, I.
Speaker 5: Need I need the as for in aceda minifin combo
Speaker 5: with the caffeine.
Speaker 2: And now I'll get rid of the headache like that. Oh,
Speaker 2: I need to get a bottle of that.
Speaker 4: It is the only thing that'll take care of a
Speaker 4: headache for me. So I'm kind of stuck with it.
Speaker 2: For treat myself to a bottle of What have I started?
Speaker 2: And what's my doll? Oh? Interesting because that's also looked over.
Speaker 5: Honestly, I've never taken my doll, so I've always taken
Speaker 5: advil for those kinds of pain.
Speaker 4: So right, yeah, Tyland Hall's never worked.
Speaker 5: If I ever had like, uh, those kinds of menstrual cramps,
Speaker 5: I would take an advil and that would.
Speaker 2: Do the trick, right. I remember hearing that in middle
Speaker 2: school all the time. That was like an insult take
Speaker 2: a my doll?
Speaker 3: Okay, And now I'm really understanding your background. Wow, Well
Speaker 3: I wasn't saying sure.
Speaker 2: I know, we know you said it.
Speaker 3: We know we said that that middle school misogynist running fro.
Speaker 3: I think mine is one of those like it's the
Speaker 3: same product, but they just like sell it to women. Interesting,
Speaker 3: like the pink razors that are like actually worse and
Speaker 3: more expensive for her for her.
Speaker 2: Yeah no, no, cut that out, Chiladall. This is a
Speaker 2: marketing Yeah no, bad ideas, And no, I don't anyone
Speaker 2: that's we're getting at. No one would know that that
Speaker 2: was advil. We need to do marketing for like gay
Speaker 2: men specific stuff too. It's like a Thailand all for
Speaker 2: gay men. Yeah, I mean, let's see, are not off
Speaker 2: right now? I think, yeah, I don't have anything for
Speaker 2: gay men men. Well, i'd have to say the f slur.
Speaker 2: I don't want to do that right now. So later
Speaker 2: in the podcast, the flur segment of the of I said,
Speaker 2: no gifts. We'll both scream it at the same time. Cool. Well,
Speaker 2: I do think there's something else we need to talk about. Obviously,
Speaker 2: I was happy to have you here today. I was
Speaker 2: really excited to have you over. He thought, Sam's wonderful.
Speaker 2: How could we not have a bad time together? And
Speaker 2: here we are here, we are having the worst possible time,
Speaker 2: and I'm just clawing it. How can I make this better? Uh? No,
Speaker 2: I was. I was looking forward to having you here.
Speaker 2: On I said, no gifts a podcast is a very
Speaker 2: clear title, pretty clear directive, and so I was a
Speaker 2: little surprised. I was a little thrown when I walked
Speaker 2: into the backyard here and I saw you chatting away
Speaker 2: with an a lease and uh with you a gift
Speaker 2: bag with my first initial on it b b B
Speaker 2: for Bridger. I have a gift Okay, well sorry you
Speaker 2: said no gifts, but I have one. I appreciate the apology,
Speaker 2: and it's obviously for me. Should I open it here
Speaker 2: on the podcast? Please go for it? Okay, let me
Speaker 2: get into it. It's this gorgeous white gift bag with
Speaker 2: a big block letter B. I'm going to reach in. Okay,
Speaker 2: we're pulling it. Oh, oh, this is very interesting. Yes,
Speaker 2: this is very interesting. It's a queer tarot deck. And
Speaker 2: the last time I saw you, I wanted you to
Speaker 2: do my terror and I felt bad about that and
Speaker 2: I never got around left because I was like, Sam's busy,
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna bother my god and so and then
Speaker 2: my life kind of fell into ruin and it would
Speaker 2: have been nice to have some warning.
Speaker 3: Yes, and I'm again I'm sorry, but there were a
Speaker 3: lot more important people.
Speaker 2: I was reading that night and I was like, I'm
Speaker 2: going to see you anyway. Well, I was really planning
Speaker 2: on being first. But then you you just when people
Speaker 2: start doing tarot, I'm sure you're just you're batting people away.
Speaker 3: There were you know, I feel you don't even need
Speaker 3: it because you have a boyfriend. And the number one
Speaker 3: question that night was what's going on with my love life?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: Was it?
Speaker 2: Really? Honestly it was because of what sort of answers
Speaker 2: did you give? You're broken, You're I look at your
Speaker 2: hair lately? No, No, I'm nice. I'd be an Insult
Speaker 2: Tarot reader, like an insult comic. I'm going to start
Speaker 2: that podcast on I'm poaching on Elias for my head
Speaker 2: on Insult Tarot podcat. Yeah. No, it was, you know, honestly,
Speaker 2: because it was a lot of straight women.
Speaker 3: Who were do like very had their work lives together,
Speaker 3: very small, art and confident women. And that's sort of
Speaker 3: actually bad for men, is what great men are do
Speaker 3: the worst species on the planet. And I feel bad
Speaker 3: for every woman who dates men.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I mean you la, there's I know,
Speaker 2: so many wonderful women who are like everything about their
Speaker 2: lives is incredible. They've got to start together, And I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: I can't. I can think of maybe a quarter of
Speaker 2: a man I would like to set you up with. Yeah,
Speaker 2: oh yeah, I can't think of any Yeah, I would
Speaker 2: never do that to you. Yeah, I would love to
Speaker 2: find one decent man for one of my many straight
Speaker 2: women friends, but it's not happening.
Speaker 3: There's just yeah, they're all so wonderful and gorgeous and amazing,
Speaker 3: and then the men that they have to deal with,
Speaker 3: it's just like slime there. If they're smart, then they're
Speaker 3: not funny. If they're funny, then they don't have a job.
Speaker 3: If they're like, they have one hundred other problems, or
Speaker 3: they have a second secret family. If someone seems amazing
Speaker 3: in all these ways, they probably have bodies under the floorboard.
Speaker 2: Or yeah, I mean every man has at least one flaw.
Speaker 2: But that's like, if you find one with a single flaw,
Speaker 2: you what a catch? And what's yours? Let me get
Speaker 2: into my Google docs. We can ever guards what floor
Speaker 2: That's why I brought Yeah, I mean I would be
Speaker 2: thrilled do it? Okay, where did you learn to do tarot?
Speaker 3: I found a gay shaman on Instagram who was teaching
Speaker 3: a class.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, so I did a three week course like
Speaker 2: six years ago. That's how I started. And yeah, and
Speaker 2: did you feel like you like at the end of
Speaker 2: the course, did you feel like, I know, I'm an
Speaker 2: expert at this now, I did not know. I did
Speaker 2: not did you know anything about it going in?
Speaker 3: Actually no, I like I knew what the tarot cards were,
Speaker 3: but I was kind of honest, sort of spiritual journey
Speaker 3: of like seeing psychics and stuff.
Speaker 2: Right right now, Remind me, do I have to cut
Speaker 2: the deck? You have to shuffle because this is a
Speaker 2: brand new deck, brandow and they're kind of I'm all
Speaker 2: in order. I hate when people see me shuffle. Oh
Speaker 2: you close your eyes. Okay, never learned to shuffle. It's
Speaker 2: more of a just making a mess, although I've heard
Speaker 2: Vegas dealers make it a mess. I mean you can.
Speaker 3: I tell people they can shove however they want. They
Speaker 3: can throw all the cards on the floor and pick
Speaker 3: them back.
Speaker 2: They're brand new cards. I'm not throwing these on the ground.
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm just gonna they belong to you. You
Speaker 2: can do whatever you want. I'm letting the universe guide
Speaker 2: my hands, letting the planets put these where they may go.
Speaker 2: I'm not even looking at this point. That embarrassed. When's
Speaker 2: your birthday? Whence you're signed on October ninth? I'm a libra.
Speaker 2: I thought there was that weird period. Do you remember
Speaker 2: this period when everyone was like, uh, now you're no
Speaker 2: longer that sign I do. Then we all said no,
Speaker 2: but my I'm a tourist and that that like new classification.
Speaker 2: I was still a Taurus. Oh interesting, Really, where would
Speaker 2: I have shifted? I can't remember libra. What's libra between?
Speaker 2: It's between scorpio. That sounds right. You would have been
Speaker 2: a virgo, a virgo. Maybe I don't have to look
Speaker 2: at the Okay, interesting, what's a virgo? What happens within
Speaker 2: a virgos?
Speaker 3: A lot of my best friends are virgos because we're
Speaker 3: like virgos also an Earth sign.
Speaker 2: Okay, virgos.
Speaker 3: Every virgo I know has done like they like to
Speaker 3: have three jobs at once or they're like they they're
Speaker 3: like straight a students, okay, and they love to like
Speaker 3: spread themselves thin and they're just very like diligent.
Speaker 2: I like to spread myself then without any jobs. That's
Speaker 2: kind of my current way to behave. So maybe I
Speaker 2: don't fall into that category. I'm the same.
Speaker 3: Like to me, spreading yourself then is like you do
Speaker 3: pilates and then you go to erewuan and it's like
Speaker 3: what a busy day, and then you make like a
Speaker 3: buckwhee pancake. Like, that's hard work too, and no one's
Speaker 3: talking about that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's more my speed. But that's even too
Speaker 2: busy for me. I'm spreading myself then by just sitting
Speaker 2: at my kitchen count or wondering about what I should do,
Speaker 2: and then I'm exhausted, maybe like going from room to room.
Speaker 2: That's not a bad idea, is sad running around there,
Speaker 2: you know, having to take one solid dump a day.
Speaker 2: That's really difficult work too. I was just watching the
Speaker 2: show alone and there was a character a person. Have
Speaker 2: you watched the show? No, it's a reality suareness. Yeah,
Speaker 2: they're in the wilderness alone eating mice and we won't
Speaker 2: get into that. We talked about that in the last episode,
Speaker 2: and I'm sure the listener was mad. But one character
Speaker 2: was I think constipated for like two weeks, and I
Speaker 2: that's right. How do you not die? Yeah, that's really
Speaker 2: that's actually very scary. Yeah, I would be absolutely mortified.
Speaker 2: You know, I think there was you know what Bachelor
Speaker 2: in Paradise is. I've never seen it, but I'm familiar.
Speaker 3: Okay, there, I would didn't watch this latest season, but
Speaker 3: apparently there was a girl who literally had to leave
Speaker 3: the island because she was so constipated. She couldn't find
Speaker 3: love because she had to like she had to go
Speaker 3: to the hospital and they had to like push make
Speaker 3: her have.
Speaker 2: A bowel movement, and there she met a very handsome
Speaker 2: talk shot.
Speaker 3: That would be the ideal situation, because everyone else on
Speaker 3: that on that island, they're they're like like songwriters and yeah,
Speaker 3: they have no Joe quote unquote, so yeah, and.
Speaker 2: They're probably all constipated too, they're just too ashamed to
Speaker 2: admit it. That's right. Okay, I've shuffled the deck. Okay,
Speaker 2: I want you to cut it into three, kind of
Speaker 2: put it back in a different way. And what are
Speaker 2: we pulling for? Do you have a like what do
Speaker 2: I need to know right now?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Do you have a specific question or an area in
Speaker 2: your life or a situation? Yeah, I would like to
Speaker 2: know if anything is if I'm ever going to have
Speaker 2: a job in the entertainment industry.
Speaker 3: Again, you're really asking the wrong person because I asked
Speaker 3: myself my cards that every day and inconclusive, inconclusive.
Speaker 2: How about just uh, I would like to have some
Speaker 2: general picture of the next six months to see if
Speaker 2: twenty twenty four is going to be a complete ball
Speaker 2: and we're kind of more in the career space where they, yeah,
Speaker 2: something that where my days are occupied by something where
Speaker 2: I you know, I'm not just watching time go down
Speaker 2: the drain. You're not just watching alone. I'm not just
Speaker 2: watching alone. Okay, Well, I guess I'll do.
Speaker 3: You want to want me pick six cards for the
Speaker 3: rest of the year, Okay, and you can pick them
Speaker 3: randomly or off the top however you feel.
Speaker 2: Okay, these are thick cards. Do I turn them over? No,
Speaker 2: and just happen to me and I'll turn them over.
Speaker 2: I mean, these are The feel of these cards is
Speaker 2: absolutely gorgeous. Let's see here. Take that one, Hey, take
Speaker 2: that one. Can I cut it a little bit to test?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 2: Yes, absolutely, I'm obviously really just trying putting as much
Speaker 2: effort to get a good future as possible. Okay, I've
Speaker 2: got six cards on the table. Shout out the deck.
Speaker 3: It's the Queer Tarot, an inclusive deck by Ashley Molesso
Speaker 3: and Chess need Hum.
Speaker 2: Interesting there there, every I mean, every tarot is a
Speaker 2: queer tarot. That's not true. That's not true. Some of
Speaker 2: them are very hetero.
Speaker 3: Actually, I feel like the original tarot is hetero because
Speaker 3: there's like queens and kings.
Speaker 2: And I mean the user the end.
Speaker 3: If you find yourself with a tarot deck, you probably
Speaker 3: have two older brothers, is what.
Speaker 2: Probably, how do we get straight men into tarot? Dude
Speaker 2: wipes present tarot?
Speaker 3: Probably like Hymns needs to start selling a tarot Rogan
Speaker 3: Joe Rogan's Baro deck.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Joe, reach out. Okay, they're getting turned over here.
Speaker 2: Illustrations have kind of neon and d glow. Is that
Speaker 2: what we would say?
Speaker 3: I would yeah, I would say it's yeah, yes, I agree, yes,
Speaker 3: all right.
Speaker 2: Each of these is where was June? And also it's
Speaker 2: like this is more of a the rest of the
Speaker 2: year overall vibe, but we can go month to month. Okay,
Speaker 2: oh my god, this could end with me and just sobbing,
Speaker 2: you know, and that would be a good thing. There's
Speaker 2: no video for this podcast. It's just the listeners. Just
Speaker 2: here a quiet sniffle. How do you cry? Oh? Are
Speaker 2: you a sober?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: Yeah, what about you? I think I'm like like open
Speaker 2: open mouth and yeah and like no noise. Oh interesting,
Speaker 2: I think I'm I probably have There's like a variety
Speaker 2: for me like I kind of touch every base when
Speaker 2: I'm crying. Okay, climb deep sobs until my eyes are no,
Speaker 2: there's no moisture left. It's not a good scene. And
Speaker 2: you know there are people out there. I hope they're listening,
Speaker 2: and I hope you're you've done this to me listeners, Hollywood,
Speaker 2: you've done this June June.
Speaker 3: So we have a judgment judgment here, And if you
Speaker 3: look at this image, it's like all these queers, all
Speaker 3: these baristas standing up and this uh, this person has
Speaker 3: like a trumpet. And so I always associate judgment with
Speaker 3: like it's like a call to action or a call
Speaker 3: to adventure or some sort of feeling of like rising up.
Speaker 3: So if you have felt like you have just sort
Speaker 3: of been sitting around watching alone, interesting, maybe there is
Speaker 3: actually a shift you Like, it could be a literal
Speaker 3: get the call. Maybe it could be a job or
Speaker 3: some kind of some sort of new direction.
Speaker 2: Okay, this feels like exactly what we need right now. Yeah,
Speaker 2: we're waking up, shaking.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: I mean, and also I mean we've got the upcoming
Speaker 2: live show and this looks that the person with the
Speaker 2: trumpet is kind of me in that situation and that's
Speaker 2: the audience Yewriter dot Com, June twenty six. So maybe
Speaker 2: that's interesting. I think that that will bring more.
Speaker 3: Attention and maybe I don't know, maybe Hollywood will be there,
Speaker 3: Hollywood will be in the audience.
Speaker 2: Okay, so there's there's a chance of a turn.
Speaker 3: Why don't Okay, July and then we have the sun
Speaker 3: Ano fun fun, I mean July fourth. I know how
Speaker 3: patriotic you are.
Speaker 2: Fourth of July, historically, for me, is the most oppressing
Speaker 2: day of the year. Every year, I find myself emotionally
Speaker 2: beneath I mean record low, beneath rock bot because you
Speaker 2: hate hot dogs or are you at an event? Usually,
Speaker 2: even if I'm at an event, I'm usually there's something
Speaker 2: about It's like kind of the middle of the year.
Speaker 2: You're like, what's going on? Everyone else? It's I don't
Speaker 2: It's not a fun holiday to me. I don't care
Speaker 2: about fireworks or hot dogs. So I think there's a
Speaker 2: lot of things coming together and like most of my
Speaker 2: friends aren't the sort of people who have Fourth of
Speaker 2: July parties, so there's really nothing going on that's that fun.
Speaker 3: Yeah, your friends are all Antifa, Well, I think you
Speaker 3: might and you know what you're describing as summertime sadness?
Speaker 2: Is that a real thing?
Speaker 3: I talked, I gave yes. The scholar Lana del Rey
Speaker 3: documented this phenomenon.
Speaker 2: I have it too.
Speaker 3: I get actually sad in this when it's too sunny.
Speaker 3: Oh interesting, weirdly or like there's some time in the
Speaker 3: summer that I get my summer depression.
Speaker 2: Okay, but I love I love the summer. I love
Speaker 2: the sun, but sometimes in the middle of the summer
Speaker 2: it can feel a little oppressive. Is that a song?
Speaker 2: There ain't no cure for the summertime blues? There we go.
Speaker 3: I don't know who that is, buta del Rey, I
Speaker 3: don't know, but I mean the sun if just the
Speaker 3: meaning of that, we have this like rainbow tapestry. We have,
Speaker 3: the sun's out, it's very everything's sort of like harmonious,
Speaker 3: and things are going well and there's a joy to it. Okay,
Speaker 3: Just so I feel like going off if we're moving
Speaker 3: from this card that was a call to adventure, and
Speaker 3: I feel like we're just keeping the good times going.
Speaker 2: Okay, an evolution of the change. You're really getting my
Speaker 2: hopes up here.
Speaker 3: Right now, and then I'm about to drop you like
Speaker 3: the Tower of Terror Riot. I love the Tell of
Speaker 3: Towers Gone.
Speaker 2: They turned it into another marvel I love. I loved
Speaker 2: the Tower of Tower. Oh, the feeling there was perfect. Absolutely,
Speaker 2: it was actually creepy. Yeah it was. It made sense
Speaker 2: as a ride and now my virginity on the Tower
Speaker 2: of I'm just kidding. It was perfect. I feel like
Speaker 2: we both would have been good like Disneyland employees at
Speaker 2: that ride. I can picture us both in the uniform.
Speaker 2: We'd commit to the character you could, you could.
Speaker 3: I would play a ghost, and I think you would
Speaker 3: play it like the the person who checks you in.
Speaker 2: Like the bellboy or whatever. Yes, yeah, you know it
Speaker 2: doesn't exist anymore. Yeah, Disney dropping at all. Speaking of
Speaker 2: dropping the ball, the third card we have August.
Speaker 3: So we have the moon, and so that is not
Speaker 3: a negative card at all, but it is a card
Speaker 3: of like a little It can be confused because whereas
Speaker 3: the sun it's like the light of the sun the daytime,
Speaker 3: the moon it's like kind of like stumbling in the
Speaker 3: dark a little bit, or you having to trust your
Speaker 3: intuition when you don't know exactly where the next move is.
Speaker 2: Or the next step. Not something someone like me needs
Speaker 2: to hear.
Speaker 3: But it's it's an exercise in trusting yourself, letting go
Speaker 3: of control, and just having faith and patience and kind
Speaker 3: and self kindness and gentleness with yourself.
Speaker 2: But and we all love the moon. I mean I
Speaker 2: love the moon. I think everyone's on board with the moon.
Speaker 2: I mean the moon controls so much. Yes, the tides
Speaker 2: the moon. We could let's get rid of the sun.
Speaker 2: We don't need it. The moon's also kind of worthless.
Speaker 2: I think we get rid of all of it. We couldn't,
Speaker 2: I mean, we none of us could live on the sun,
Speaker 2: but we could live on the moon. Probably. Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 2: Jeff Bezos can't get the sun, but he can get
Speaker 2: the moon. He can't get the moon. So okay, so
Speaker 2: I'm going to go wild in August.
Speaker 3: You're going to turn into a werewolf in August. There
Speaker 3: is something about like, yeah, maybe not being not being
Speaker 3: so analytical and logical, but being more primal and.
Speaker 2: Right and just more like yeah, okay, yeah, okay. I
Speaker 2: I've got a couple of months to prepare for that
Speaker 2: sort of behavior, because that's really not my usual thing.
Speaker 2: But if maybe I can start letting go of control
Speaker 2: right now by August, you're going to control, letting go
Speaker 2: of control? Yes, okay, really planned to let go. Well,
Speaker 2: then we move into September. September, the beginning of you know,
Speaker 2: Prestige movie season. Oh, I was taking nine to eleven,
Speaker 2: but you forgot about that. Don't you hate July? Wor
Speaker 2: it and you forget nine to eleven? Interesting? September we
Speaker 2: have strength. Strength.
Speaker 3: Strength can mean a lot of the things. There's like
Speaker 3: an infinity sign on top of this person's head, and
Speaker 3: strength is always a person like petting a lion, So
Speaker 3: it's sort of getting in control of your demons or like,
Speaker 3: instead of getting control of this lion by force, they're
Speaker 3: using like gentleness to hit the lions.
Speaker 2: It's not so much your domination.
Speaker 3: It's not a yeah, strength, it's not like a traditional
Speaker 3: idea of strength. It's more through kindness, gentleness, mind games,
Speaker 3: absolute manipulation. If coming from the moon, there is a
Speaker 3: little bit more. We're like, Okay, we kind of went
Speaker 3: through that, and now you're feeling stronger about yourself.
Speaker 2: And because I've learned new things and learned to trust myself. Yeah,
Speaker 2: maybe you've overcome a little bit of that obstacle or
Speaker 2: learned a little bit. I don't know a bit more
Speaker 2: about the process. Right, tried something new with my hair
Speaker 2: and what would you? I don't know anything. Got a
Speaker 2: couple of months to find bond. I go blonde.
Speaker 3: Okay, Well that that means August was really rough for you.
Speaker 3: If you go blonde.
Speaker 2: If I went blonde, I would be the sickest looking
Speaker 2: person on the planet. People would be like, oh no,
Speaker 2: I think you could pull it off. There was no
Speaker 2: I am pro I mean it would happen. The way
Speaker 2: I would pull it off is people would be like, well,
Speaker 2: that's the most shocking thing he could have possibly done.
Speaker 2: So it must have been intentional, you know.
Speaker 3: Sometimes like when again, not to bring it back to Madonna,
Speaker 3: but pop stars they go they do a new era
Speaker 3: and they like completely change their look, and that could
Speaker 3: be my sickly era.
Speaker 2: That's right, kind of like someone who's contained to a
Speaker 2: hospital bed and that's like COVID COVID covidra.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like throw. It's like throw, you know, how
Speaker 3: like why two K's back? Like maybe COVID aesthetics will
Speaker 3: be back at some point. Oh absolutely, yeah, there's a question, right,
Speaker 3: I think.
Speaker 2: So it'll be people that give themselves, their own haircuts,
Speaker 2: more mask wearing a mass The gloves will probably come
Speaker 2: back to It'll be like a really COVID. I'm ready.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm ready for that. You're already ready for licking
Speaker 3: toilets licked toilet challenge.
Speaker 2: I think if we're talking about career, because obviously this
Speaker 2: career is so up and down. No one go into
Speaker 2: entertainment if you're listening.
Speaker 3: If you're listening, you probably aren't entertainment. Let's be real
Speaker 3: or want to be leave the business, get out of here. Unsubscribed,
Speaker 3: subscribe from other podcasts and follow my podcast Bad Tarot,
Speaker 3: produced by Honor Lisa, dropping June sixth. So I think
Speaker 3: I think it's like a renewed hope here. I can't
Speaker 3: like because because I feel like for most people in
Speaker 3: the entertainment industry, every three months it's like should I leave.
Speaker 3: It's like a mental breakdown, and then you get over
Speaker 3: it and then you're like, I can do this.
Speaker 2: I keep doing this. Wow, I'm on top again. Yeah,
Speaker 2: so maybe you're on top again in September. September, okay,
Speaker 2: well let's move on to October. Okay, October is my birthday.
Speaker 3: Oh that's right, Libra season, we have King of Pentacles.
Speaker 3: I feel like that's a good time for your career
Speaker 3: as well, because the Kings are very authoritative and the
Speaker 3: Pentacles are regarding like money and career and practical things.
Speaker 3: So it's it's it feels like you're in control of
Speaker 3: your career or your money.
Speaker 2: And and look at that. I mean, the pants this
Speaker 2: person is wearing are great, just kind of a pants.
Speaker 2: It's a little.
Speaker 3: Like being your own boss or maybe your own projects
Speaker 3: are what's bringing you that stability versus waiting for someone
Speaker 3: to hire you or wait for an outside person would
Speaker 3: be the one to give you that opportunity.
Speaker 2: Art at my auto shop or bakery, hair salon.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know, but there's something about it, like
Speaker 3: you are your own boss, and I think I think
Speaker 3: that that's something to remember.
Speaker 2: Everybody. Watch out. I don't need you anymore, You don't
Speaker 2: need Bridgard doesn't need you and your shitty little sitcom
Speaker 2: and your ship. Start your own room. Start for your
Speaker 2: own room. Don't get me started. Then we move on.
Speaker 2: What is November? November? Oh, and then we have so
Speaker 2: we have back to back pentacles. Now we have Queen
Speaker 2: of Pentacles, right right, Oh, so happy couple, husband and
Speaker 2: wife team. I mean, maybe you become a third oh
Speaker 2: in someone else's swinging relationship. I don't know these two women.
Speaker 2: What does the Queen of Pentacles do for me? What
Speaker 2: does it mean?
Speaker 3: It's a little bit of the genderness like kings represent
Speaker 3: more control and like leadership, whereas queen's are more nurturing
Speaker 3: or internal. It's more of the emotional versus the mental.
Speaker 3: So the queen's feel very secure, and they feel fulfilled,
Speaker 3: and they feel purposeful. Okay, so maybe this is this
Speaker 3: is a little bit more like money, status, work, and
Speaker 3: this is a little bit more my purpose, my creativity,
Speaker 3: my feeling good about what I'm doing okay.
Speaker 2: And the holidays are just around the corner, so and
Speaker 2: they're both to me. Secure at your stable, so I
Speaker 2: feel like you'll be feeling all right. I mean, I
Speaker 2: feel what universe could that possibly be? You might this,
Speaker 2: you never know.
Speaker 3: This could be a good year for you, you don't
Speaker 3: even know. And then and we're ending, and then look
Speaker 3: at this, we have the star wrapping it up. And
Speaker 3: this is one of my favorite cards.
Speaker 2: What does this mean? The star usually represents like inspiration,
Speaker 2: but sometimes it's very literal like I've gotten this readings.
Speaker 2: It was just like, yeah, you're a star.
Speaker 3: You're things are you're shining, things that you're pursuing are
Speaker 3: working out for you, or you're being seen.
Speaker 2: So I want everyone listening to be aware of what's
Speaker 2: being said. And by December, I'm going to be a star.
Speaker 2: I'm earnestly telling you that you got this. You got this,
Speaker 2: Thank you, Sam, And this is exactly what I needed today.
Speaker 2: I want you to get your revenge, so you know
Speaker 2: I want to. I mean, ultimately, I just want to
Speaker 2: go on a mission of revenge. Yeah, kind of a
Speaker 2: kill Bill's style. Yeah, there's a list of people who've
Speaker 2: got to watch out. You know, gay people are on
Speaker 2: the rise. I don't.
Speaker 3: I always want to let you know we've been blocked
Speaker 3: from the industry in many ways and now we're I
Speaker 3: feel like we're hot.
Speaker 2: Shit.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, you know, you know how many gay best
Speaker 3: friends I've auditioned for in the last month. There's a
Speaker 3: lot our voices are needed.
Speaker 2: And that is the only position a gay person should
Speaker 2: ever be in a television show, just the best. Everyone
Speaker 2: else in the show should be straight. Girl. Have you
Speaker 2: gone shopping lately? I don't think so.
Speaker 3: I'm not getting these parts, clearly I have. I am
Speaker 3: just too depressed to play. I feel like there's there's
Speaker 3: like fun gay people, and then there's suppressed gayeither.
Speaker 2: Right, that's sort of right. I follow probably into the
Speaker 2: latter category. That's why I'm not getting called in for
Speaker 2: any of these things. No one would ever believe me
Speaker 2: as a happy gay person.
Speaker 3: And that's and you say you need to write the
Speaker 3: story of the sad, most miserable man. Yeah, yeah, Carol,
Speaker 3: we need a Carol, but for gay men.
Speaker 2: I'm trying to think, is there one of those? I
Speaker 2: mean again, Carol kind of is for gay men, but yeah,
Speaker 2: what would that possibly be? And it'll be played by
Speaker 2: two straight men? Yeah, directed by Luca Guadagnio. Yeah, she's
Speaker 2: kind of the kind of go to that sort of film,
Speaker 2: you know what. I'm not mad at it anyway. Okay, Well,
Speaker 2: at speed, I think we should play a game. Okay,
Speaker 2: I think we're gonna play We're gonna you know, last
Speaker 2: week I said that we're not playing this game anymore
Speaker 2: for a while, but we're gonna play a game called
Speaker 2: Gift Master. Anyway. Oh, I needed number between one and
Speaker 2: ten from you. Seven, Okay, I need to do some
Speaker 2: light calculating right now to get our game pieces. So
Speaker 2: right now, you can promote something, recommend something, do whatever
Speaker 2: you want with the microphone. I'll be right back.
Speaker 3: I actually have my debut single that I'm dropping the
Speaker 3: first week of June, probably when this podcast comes out,
Speaker 3: actually June sixth. I have a song called Foreskin. It's
Speaker 3: spelled number four ski N and I am my pop
Speaker 3: starname is gay Virgin, so and you can you can
Speaker 3: follow me at gay Virgin Official for updates on the
Speaker 3: single and subsequent EP that I will be dropping later
Speaker 3: this year. But yeah, look out for Foreskin on all
Speaker 3: music platforms. It's a banger. It's a song of the summer.
Speaker 2: I think that's a great recommendation. Do you play any instruments?
Speaker 3: Not really, I mean I taught myself Shadow by Ashley
Speaker 3: Simpson on the guitar, like in two thousand and five,
Speaker 3: and that song really it's really sad actually because it's
Speaker 3: about Ashley Simpson living in the shadow of Jessica Simpson,
Speaker 3: of course, and that was probably really harder for her. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it's really hard for her shadow of Jessica, who is
Speaker 3: now a billionaire.
Speaker 2: I have shoe entrepreneur. Yeah, yeah, I remember when I
Speaker 2: worked at overstock dot com. We would have to write
Speaker 2: descriptions of her shoes. How many jobs have you had?
Speaker 2: Truly before I got before I moved to LA I
Speaker 2: think I had like twenty five jobs. Wow. I've done
Speaker 2: a lot of different types of work.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I've been a sec shopper for cigarettes. I've worked in
Speaker 2: a factory putting frames together, work for the postal service.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's all all over the map. I'm not
Speaker 2: someone and maybe this is the problem. I'm not someone
Speaker 2: you should hire, but you should be your own boss. Yeah,
Speaker 2: that's true, that's right. And I've got all kinds of
Speaker 2: skills I've developed. This is how we play gift Master.
Speaker 2: I'm going to name three things, three gifts you can
Speaker 2: give away, and then I'm going to name three celebrities.
Speaker 2: You're gonna tell me which celebrity you would give which
Speaker 2: gift and why. Okay does that make perfect sense? Yes? Okay,
Speaker 2: be perfect? Okay, let me continue clarify. These are the
Speaker 2: gifts you're giving away. Number one is a career ending scandal.
Speaker 2: Number two is a g wagon. Do you know what
Speaker 2: a g wagon is? That's a car? It's maybe the
Speaker 2: worst car. It's one of the cars driven by bad people.
Speaker 2: So I think it's a Mercedes. Are very boxing you, No,
Speaker 2: it's it's not the car a nice person drives. But
Speaker 2: they're very expensive. But they're yeah, and they're hot, they're sexy.
Speaker 2: And number three is fangs, Tita. Yes, you'll be giving
Speaker 2: them to the following celebrities. Number one Rachel Ray, Number
Speaker 2: two Faith Hill. Faith Hill who sings those songs.
Speaker 1: That I know?
Speaker 2: Is Faith Hill Garth Brook's wife? Or is that another
Speaker 2: country singer? Tricia Yearwood is Garth Brooks's wife. I think
Speaker 2: Faith Hill, I don't know. It's her famous picture her, Oh,
Speaker 2: still married to Tim McGraw. Wedding bells are ringing. No
Speaker 2: trouble in paradise, Okay. I imagine Tim McGraw, Faith Hill,
Speaker 2: Tricia Yearwood and Garth Brooks probably going double dates. They're
Speaker 2: probably switching off. They're swinging. Yeah, there's got to be swinging,
Speaker 2: swinging happening within that community. All of them are cute, cute.
Speaker 2: And number three is Solange. Where is she? I don't know,
Speaker 2: I'll call her, I mean, where is she? She needs?
Speaker 2: She need? We need a new album. I feel like
Speaker 2: she needs to remember what fun is. I think she
Speaker 2: got a little. She hasn't had a bowel movement in years. Probably,
Speaker 2: I think she needs to she needs to put out
Speaker 2: a fun album.
Speaker 3: I want, I want, Yes, I want new music from her.
Speaker 3: She's great, right, but just you know, something with a
Speaker 3: little more lively like E d M.
Speaker 2: I think she needs to go pure d M.
Speaker 3: She needs to work with Skrillics. Yes, a Squillics salons.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I see it. Okay, So what are you? Can
Speaker 2: you even remember the gift? Okay?
Speaker 3: So there is a career ending, scale ending scandal, a
Speaker 3: g wagon ee wagon and fangs and fang and we
Speaker 3: have Rachel Ray, faith Hill and Solange.
Speaker 2: Yes, wow, this is really hard. Actually, I don't even
Speaker 2: know where to begin. Well, I think I like.
Speaker 3: I think I like Solange the most, like just she
Speaker 3: seems chill and cool, So I don't I want to
Speaker 3: give her the best one, which I actually don't know
Speaker 3: how to make.
Speaker 2: This is which one of those is the best gift?
Speaker 3: I guess like a car, even if it's like not
Speaker 3: a car that like a car would make fun. It's
Speaker 3: all a brand new car.
Speaker 2: Now it is a brand new car. It's probably like
Speaker 2: a ninety seven accord at this point.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it's this the sister of Beyonce. But Beyonce
Speaker 3: doesn't Let's be clear, Beyonce doesn't.
Speaker 2: Help her person, you know. But Beyonce is a penny pincher.
Speaker 2: She's not a NEPO sister. No, no, no, She's just
Speaker 2: do it on your own.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So I would give I think I would give
Speaker 3: her the g wagon and she could like sell it
Speaker 3: or you know, or give it away or something.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I feel like that's like the best probably
Speaker 2: of the three, right in my opinion, I mean my opinion. Fangs.
Speaker 2: I feel like Solange could pull off fangs. But what
Speaker 2: did what did they do like give her? She's on
Speaker 2: the front page of every magazine. People want to see
Speaker 2: this new set of chumpers. I don't know that Vogue
Speaker 2: is picking up fangs this season. I don't know until
Speaker 2: she's got them. You know what.
Speaker 3: I'm going to give Rachel Ray the fangs actually, because
Speaker 3: I think as a chef, she it would probably help
Speaker 3: her chew her food better, or she could like cut
Speaker 3: steaks with her fing, Like, she doesn't even need to
Speaker 3: use knives anymore.
Speaker 2: To see her just biting into a steak and use
Speaker 2: her hands. Rach. Yeah, Rachel raised to meat and a
Speaker 2: line of dog food? Does she that makes at some point? So?
Speaker 2: And you know who else said Ellen? Ellen also dog
Speaker 2: food for her whole career.
Speaker 3: She was like an investor or whatever of Halo dog
Speaker 3: food and she was talking about it like every episode.
Speaker 3: That was like a religious Ellen watcher. Okay, yeah, I
Speaker 3: would watch it every day after school and she would
Speaker 3: be like speaking of career ending scandals. So, yeah, she's good,
Speaker 3: she has one already. Who she Yeah, she's been gifted that.
Speaker 2: I was left. Faith Hill was getting the career ending scandal.
Speaker 3: I just haven't heard much about Faith lately, and I
Speaker 3: think I'm biased just because, like I don't have a
Speaker 3: personal connection to her do the other two. So I
Speaker 3: guess I wouldn't miss her if her career went away
Speaker 3: because to apologies to Faith, I'm sorry Faith.
Speaker 2: And also I think she wouldn't mind. I think she'd
Speaker 2: be like, yeah, I'm done. I can imagine her like, oh,
Speaker 2: what career do I have to exactly that? She just
Speaker 2: sounds like us too. Faith Hills starting to be a comedy, right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, I think she's fine. I think she's fine
Speaker 3: and she she does. It's like there are people who
Speaker 3: would lose more by having their career end.
Speaker 2: But I think she's like good. She squeezed all the
Speaker 2: juice out of it that she can.
Speaker 3: She's I don't think she has any new music coming out,
Speaker 3: or a line of cookware or anything like.
Speaker 2: I think she's okay. She's probably just kind of tooling
Speaker 2: around the house at this point.
Speaker 3: She's probably eating Tricia Yearwood out as we speak.
Speaker 2: I don't know who that is either Tricia Year, would
Speaker 2: Faith Hill, Who's oh Shania twainas I think that's kind
Speaker 2: of the Yah of the three. Hunia definitely has the
Speaker 2: songs that people can remember. Yeah, the other two crossovers
Speaker 2: since it would struggle to name one of their songs. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 2: Well you played it perfectly. Thank you, you played it
Speaker 2: absolutely perfectly. This is the final segment of the podcast.
Speaker 2: It's called I said no emails. People write in two
Speaker 2: I said no gifts at gmail dot com okay, and
Speaker 2: every one of them needs an answer to something or other,
Speaker 2: And so I've kind of started a service on my
Speaker 2: own time, my own dollar, helping people. Would you help
Speaker 2: me answer a question?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 2: Okay? This is host and guest, I come to you
Speaker 2: on this day on my hands and knees and beg
Speaker 2: for your help. How do I start my own psychotherapy
Speaker 2: business without going bankrupt? I no longer to wish my
Speaker 2: boss's wealth as she takes a hefty percentage of my
Speaker 2: income and claims there's no budget for a raise. Love Anonymous. Wait,
Speaker 2: why don't we pull cards for these questions? Oh, that's
Speaker 2: a good idea. Let me pull a pull this top one. Yes, okay,
Speaker 2: this is a good start to this person's answer, and
Speaker 2: hopefully this okay? Oh do you turn it over? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Let's oh okay, we have the tower, okay Anonymous. Anonymous
Speaker 2: Anonymous wants to start a psycho therapy business with outgoing bankrupt.
Speaker 3: You know what it's got. You can You're fully capable
Speaker 3: of doing that. But it is going to be a
Speaker 3: scary change for you. But you have to embrace the fear.
Speaker 3: And because the tower represents a shake up, a change,
Speaker 3: there's anxiety there. I think that the anxiety of the
Speaker 3: bankruptcy is holding you back from making the leave to
Speaker 3: start your own business. Interesting, I don't know that you
Speaker 3: and I can say this is how you prevent any
Speaker 3: like bankruptcies from happening or something negative from happening.
Speaker 2: We can't. I feel like though your own therapy businesses
Speaker 2: are pretty easy. There's not a lot of overhead there. Yeah,
Speaker 2: what like, what are you spending You're not buying snacks
Speaker 2: we have? Yeah, like what are you spending money on?
Speaker 2: New outfits? A zoom proco zoom pro account?
Speaker 3: Sure, maybe some pillows, pillows and a lot of Kleenex
Speaker 3: and that's right, right.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean there are a lot of options here.
Speaker 2: I feel like this person is within this psychotherapy clinic
Speaker 2: or what is it a practice? Yeah, there are all
Speaker 2: of these vulnerable people. The boss obviously has a lot
Speaker 2: of clients. You have a lot of clients. There's a
Speaker 2: way that you can kind of just poach all of
Speaker 2: those people, oh kind of st you know, in each session,
Speaker 2: just let them know I'm not going to be practicing
Speaker 2: here anymore. Actually, the owner of the business is leaving town.
Speaker 2: And there's the client therapist privacy, so none of this
Speaker 2: will ever be shared outside of it. So you're can
Speaker 2: secretly kind of just off board as many clients as
Speaker 2: you want you can.
Speaker 3: You're like, if you don't come with me to my
Speaker 3: private practice, I'm going to break Hippa and I'm gonna.
Speaker 2: Tell you have everyone what you did.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's I think. Yeah, you know what, I changed
Speaker 3: my mind. My advice is threatening of the skate and
Speaker 3: deny any wrongdoing.
Speaker 2: The amount of blackmailing that there's, I mean, the power
Speaker 2: this person has. Yeah, and also you can start spreading
Speaker 2: rumors about the owner of the business and run them
Speaker 2: out of business. So career ending scandal. If the career
Speaker 2: ending scandal's right, there's no end to this person's options.
Speaker 2: And then like, find a cheap little spot you can
Speaker 2: do outdoors, meet people in the park. Initially, absolutely, that's free.
Speaker 3: I don't know, I'm thinking the in and out near
Speaker 3: UCLA always has a lot of seating out inside of it. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I just think you just got to go for it.
Speaker 3: Don't be afraid of the consequences. Just do it, Nike,
Speaker 3: there we go.
Speaker 2: I feel like it's a perfect answer, and the Tower
Speaker 2: has kind of given the go ahead. Just embrace the shakeup.
Speaker 2: Embrace the shakeup, destroy your boss's business, break the chains,
Speaker 2: steal the Declaration of Independence, steel the Declaration of Independence. Ultimately, ultimately, yeah,
Speaker 2: it's kind of a national treasure. Just do it. Just
Speaker 2: do it. Well, Anonymous, good luck on your new business.
Speaker 2: You didn't have the guts to give us your name,
Speaker 2: so you should probably start there, you know, quit being
Speaker 2: such a wilting person. I don't know. There's only so
Speaker 2: much I can know. Anonymous sounds annoying, extremely annoying. I
Speaker 2: think Anonymous needs to look at themselves first before they
Speaker 2: start blaming their boss. You go get therapy, how about that? Yeah,
Speaker 2: just kidding. I wish you the best. I wish you
Speaker 2: the best. Well, we answered the question better than we
Speaker 2: could have possibly ever imagined. And oh that we have
Speaker 2: no more questions. I mean we could answer another if
Speaker 2: you'd like. We know, we don't have to know, we
Speaker 2: don't have We used to answer multiple but then it
Speaker 2: was like it's starting to get long. Yeah. I think
Speaker 2: people are like, I'm you know, I only have so
Speaker 2: much time in the day. Let me go.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I mean, if we stayed this long, that's true.
Speaker 3: I feel like you should have something crazy at the
Speaker 3: end of every episode to honor the people who have listened.
Speaker 2: Like a secret, a personal thing about myself or yeah,
Speaker 2: just like, yeah, a little nugget that just for them.
Speaker 2: What would that possibly be? You sobbing just the sound
Speaker 2: of you down. Yeah, I held it. I held it
Speaker 2: together for an hour and a half and now I'm
Speaker 2: ready to just ball. Maybe like a fight with your
Speaker 2: boyfriend or something like field recordings of me fighting? Yeah recorded?
Speaker 2: Where where is the dish? I put it back at
Speaker 2: the same spot and you move it like you know.
Speaker 2: I always come across bad in these, always the aggressor
Speaker 2: in the fight looking for dishes. That's what it is.
Speaker 3: And then yeah, because that's how I am. I'm like
Speaker 3: mouthy and I just need a dominant man to like
Speaker 3: shut me in the face.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Well, listener, Sam is looking, I'm.
Speaker 3: Looking, And if you want a tear reading, just dear me.
Speaker 3: Reach out reach out to like twenty five dollars to
Speaker 3: it seven years. Do you do tarots online?
Speaker 2: I can. I don't. It's like it's something I want
Speaker 2: to do. Yeah, more of listener, reach out. I am
Speaker 2: very experienced reach out. I love having my taro red
Speaker 2: and I'm really excited for you. I'm excited for me too.
Speaker 2: Things are turning around. Things are turning around. Mark today,
Speaker 2: everyone marks Sam's words. Well, thank you for being here.
Speaker 2: I've had it's been very enlightening. I feel comfort moving
Speaker 2: into the future. Wow, God Bless America, God Bless America.
Speaker 2: I think that was the theme today. Listener, the podcast
Speaker 2: is over. You have to move on. Release me. I'm
Speaker 2: releasing you. Move on with your day. I love you, goodbye,
Speaker 2: I said, No Gifts is an exactly right production. It's
Speaker 2: produced by our dear friend Analise Nilson, and it's beautifully
Speaker 2: mixed by Ben Holliday. And we couldn't do it without
Speaker 2: our guest booker, Patrick Kottner. The theme song, of course,
Speaker 2: could only come from miracle worker Amy Man. You must
Speaker 2: follow the show on Instagram at I said no gifts.
Speaker 2: I don't want to hear any excuses. That's where you
Speaker 2: get to see pictures of all these gorgeous gifts I'm getting.
Speaker 2: And don't you want to see pictures of the gifts? Livy?
Speaker 1: Did you hear Funa man myself fickly clear, But you're
Speaker 1: a guess to my home. You gotta come to me
Speaker 1: empty And I said, no guest, you're a presences presents
Speaker 1: enough I already had too much stuff, So how do
Speaker 1: you dare to surbey me