00:00:08
Speaker 1: But I invited you here, thought I made myself perfectly clear. But you're a guest to my home. You gotta come to me empty, and I said, no guests. Your presences presents enough. I already had too much stuff, So how.

00:00:35
Speaker 2: Did you dare to surbey me? Welcome to? I said, no gifts. I'm Bridger Wineker. We're in the backyard. Absolutely nothing is happening in my life. I'm I'm in an absolute free fall spiral and it's somehow very boring. Nothing going on. I mean, the event this week was about a half hour ago. I went and bought some new Cottage cheese, so that will be kind of a snack coming up from me. And then that's it. That's a little picture of my world. We do have the live show coming up. You've probably heard that if you've ever listened to this podcast at this point, but if you have not pulled the trigger, you need to go to Dynasty typewriter dot com and either buy a ticket or buy the live stream, or stop listening to this podcast. Get lost. Okay, let's get into the show. I love today's guest. I think he's so funny. It's Sam O Sam. Welcome to. I said no gifts, thank you. I'm so excited to be here. The energy this morning is interesting for me and I apolog joints.

00:02:00
Speaker 3: Now, there are screaming children at school at Recess, and I feel like it provides a beautiful ambiance conversation.

00:02:09
Speaker 2: Kind of like a bed of joy kind of, yes, an audio bed. You know, remember joy? Remember that? Yeah, but I do. It's been a long time since I was at Recess. Sure, sure, what were you doing at Recess? Oh?

00:02:27
Speaker 3: I wasn't very athletic, so I's probably sitting maybe reading or doing like characters with my friends.

00:02:34
Speaker 2: Oh. Like, there was one game.

00:02:37
Speaker 3: I used to have a very weird friend who wore all black in elementary schools, very early goth. She was scary actually, and we were best friends, and she would make us play this game called Dragons, and we would just sort of like hunch over and like at each other for the whole time. Yeah, yeah, that's what I was doing.

00:03:00
Speaker 2: Like communicate through hiss hiss it.

00:03:02
Speaker 3: And I didn't know dragons hissed, but I guess that's how they talk.

00:03:06
Speaker 2: Probably like conversationally. I feel like they're known for roaring, but I feel like, just like over dinner or whatever, it's probably more Yeah, yeah, you can't be roaring all the time. Yeah, what sort of home life is that? Oh?

00:03:21
Speaker 3: I think you're asking about my friend's home life, Like, probably what's happening with her parents?

00:03:27
Speaker 2: I don't know.

00:03:28
Speaker 3: I hope she's still alive. I mess her, reach out, I will reach out. I'll get back on Facebook. I'll find her.

00:03:35
Speaker 2: When was the last time you saw her? Maybe? Maybe high school?

00:03:38
Speaker 3: I think we you know, when you like know somebody in elementary or middle and then you get too high school and then you act like you've never met them.

00:03:47
Speaker 2: The drifting is so interesting. I think that that happened, Yeah, because most people have as elementary schoolers kind of the same interest, right, we're all basically watching the same cartoon or what better in Jelli and Yeah, and then as sixth grade rolls around, that's when the ruptures happened.

00:04:06
Speaker 3: You know, That's when I think some people get like get their puberty early, Like, oh, mine came more.

00:04:13
Speaker 2: Like eighth grade. I was like twenty eight.

00:04:16
Speaker 3: I mean the part yeah, parts of it I'm still waiting for. But but some people developed like earlier. So then I feel like what happened, Yeah, you get to middle school and then it's like there's sluts and not sluts, and I was not.

00:04:30
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like the not sluts are just people who haven't gone through puberty yet, right right. Yeah.

00:04:34
Speaker 3: And I didn't date or anything, but people become like boy crazy or whatever.

00:04:40
Speaker 2: Yeah, did you take like the high road? We were like, well, I'm just in control. I'm just not a slut, and you guys are you're in trouble. Yeah. I was like, watch me not master Bay for four more years? Easy.

00:04:53
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, let me just do my geometry.

00:04:56
Speaker 2: Yeah. In elementary school, did you have to go to them like a maturation program? What?

00:05:02
Speaker 1: Now?

00:05:03
Speaker 2: What it was like they for us, they would split up the boys and girls. You would go with the parent and they would like run you through everything over the course of like a half hour. That sounds really violent. It was very strange. And we left with a trial sized deodorant and a baseball card.

00:05:20
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, that parents when I involved in my school, actually they just had to sign off on the assembly or whatever, but yes they would. In fifth grade, they there was like it was co ed. They showed us like a nineteen fifties like informational video about changing bodies. Yeah, like very pre war vibe or whatever. And then yeah, and then they would separate us, give us pads or write old spice. Was it old spices?

00:05:50
Speaker 2: Old spice and old spice burns my armpits. Oh yeah, it's it's intoxic. Yeah, it is a poison. To give that to ten year old is wow? Wow, that probably like delayed my puberty. The topsins in that probably did something to me hormonally.

00:06:07
Speaker 3: I think you can trace all your problems back to the old Spice to a trial old Yeah. Yeah, it's arctic blue always.

00:06:15
Speaker 2: Wow, yours ours was red, oh, you know, like very classic, like this is for someone over seventy. Oh, we're giving it to nine year olds. We got some new flavors, new flavors. Yeah.

00:06:27
Speaker 1: Wow.

00:06:27
Speaker 2: It did feel like Old Spice had like a with all those commercials and like the mid oughts to like tens where they were doing the yeah commercials, they were trying to be young. What was that the famous one on the horse and they were like, was it this guy that was in all of them? Yeah? I think his name was Isaiah something.

00:06:47
Speaker 3: He was really hot, shirtless and he would always be on a horse And what's their slogan it's like go big, oh spicy, and no, that's not it. I was going to say the best a man can get, but I think that's jillette.

00:07:01
Speaker 2: Oh interesting, the best men can get. It sounds like you're settling.

00:07:05
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's the best you you can do.

00:07:08
Speaker 2: This is all you could get. Well, that's interesting that you would start co ed. That's very progressive. But you're from La.

00:07:15
Speaker 3: Right, I'm yeah, I'm from the valley.

00:07:17
Speaker 2: So you had a little more forward thinking elementary school mate, Well, where are you from Utah? Which you know it was really is, you know, pounding down gender roles and this is what you are? Then did you grow up Mormon? Oh yeah, oh okay, And so now i'm piecing together where everything starting is extremely clear.

00:07:41
Speaker 3: It's just okay, okay, your shirt makes sense. Now have your own.

00:07:47
Speaker 2: Listener. I'm wearing an incredible shirt. It looks great. No, it looks fantastic. I love it. No, I was I'm from Utah. I hope that the programs there have developed a little bit since I was in elementary school. But like, yeah, I remember even in high school, like our health class, our sex education, like our teacher just said, don't have sex until you get married, and then you can have as much sex as you want. And that was the end of the conversation. Wow, So which doesn't really set you up for anything. No, no, except for maybe getting pregnant. Abstinence education, yeah yeah, and I mean like even the briefest of abstence, it was like, we're just not gonna even talk about this.

00:08:24
Speaker 3: I don't yeah, I don't remember sex being really discussed. I think it was just like you're gonna get stinky, and like.

00:08:31
Speaker 2: It was ready to get it's a game show. Yeah, we all a fortune music? Yeah, well, who's ready? I think you know what.

00:08:40
Speaker 3: The only time I really something from health class, like really stayed with me was my uh middle school health class where the teacher was like, don't do anal it's not natural. Things are only supposed to go out, not go in. And I remember revealing, Oh, and that stayed with me and that's why I haven't done it to this day.

00:09:02
Speaker 2: So if the listeners would like, all that shuts down all sex, that philosophy.

00:09:09
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, you can't have any fun, you can't do anything.

00:09:12
Speaker 2: The teacher was confused. They had probably like wandered in from.

00:09:16
Speaker 3: She had a gay husband and she was mad about it. All you do in bed is read and go to sleep, that's right, and then you rub your bits and a baby happens. I've never clearly don't know what I'm talking about, Like, yeah, come to think about I was that middle school teacher that would you would you ever teach as a like, could you ever see yourself doing that?

00:09:44
Speaker 2: I I've had a couple of close encounters with teaching in college. I was a lunch lady at an elementary school and I was like the same size as all of the elementary schoolers, which was intimidating. Yeah. Then I was a an after school teacher for second graders at a private school, which was absolute hell. Oh yeah. Second graders are like the sort of person that like they've gotten to a point where they have enough personality that they can really start thinking about being horrible. Sure, and so they were all mean, evil and they're rich. They were rich, right, so like they already were starting in a bad place. For me, was like, I just don't like any of you. Yeah, and then they all had different awful personalities. So yeah, and when you can't kick them part of the job, you can't. That's how I lost my job. Okay. That job was weird because after they were supposed to be picked up at a specific time, and this was the one good thing. If they didn't get picked up, their parents got charged a dollar a minute, and you got all of that money. So after five o'clock you're kind of just like, well, I hope the parent doesn't show up for two hours because I will just be rich.

00:10:57
Speaker 3: Lock them in a closet and then and rack up all that money. Wait, can you give me the name of the school?

00:11:04
Speaker 2: And I don't want to maybe on this podcast, because I think they've taken a far right turn in recent years, have slowly become more conservative and like Liberty Universe, like Patriot Kids or whatever. Wow, would you teach?

00:11:23
Speaker 3: I know, because I would kick the kids. I would I hate I It's not that I hate children. I actually do love children from Afar. Actually that sounded for you.

00:11:33
Speaker 2: Know, before I got a pair of binoculars or a telescope.

00:11:37
Speaker 3: Yeah, before I got here, I was just sort of watching the children at Recess from Afar for an hour. I yeah, I think I can't be involved because I will scream or or I'll be like this is what you know?

00:11:52
Speaker 2: Your features gotta look like and kind of scare.

00:11:54
Speaker 3: Them, and I will ruin Santa for them immediately because it was ruined for me.

00:11:59
Speaker 2: When was a ruined for you?

00:12:01
Speaker 3: Like like I never believed to stand it, Like probably five years old, I was just like, Okay.

00:12:06
Speaker 2: Who ruined it?

00:12:07
Speaker 3: I think my parents, okay, because I was just like when they were not like sentimental and so they wouldn't like get me presents, and I'd be like, what the fuck?

00:12:15
Speaker 2: What? I was so good this year? What the hell?

00:12:18
Speaker 3: And then they'd be like, yeah, sorry, he's not real, So that's why you didn't get any. They were just trying to make me feel better, right right, They're just telling you what the real world was. Yeah, and that's why I'm here today. I'm real as hell, real, pure true.

00:12:36
Speaker 2: I learned and I think I was third grade. I remember a kid named Christopher ruined it for almost all of us. It was like kids. I think the kids who have much older siblings are usually the ones that ruin it for other kids. Yeah, because like they're they have a sister in high school or whatever, and death and spoils, they'll ruin. They'll ruin Santa. Then they'll show you porns, yes, and then they'll make you grnk. It's the same person, always the same person, and that's the person who usually ends up in jail. Yeah, if you have much older siblings.

00:13:07
Speaker 3: Unfortunately, the science the science statistic show hit right for and did you know know? Also statistics show that if you have more older brothers, then as a if you are a boy, you are more likely to be gay.

00:13:23
Speaker 2: I've heard this, Is this completely true? I mean I don't. I'm I have two older brothers.

00:13:34
Speaker 3: Also, this is another story, but I didn't know about them until I was ten. Oh okay, Wow, my mom had two kids before me, uh and my sister, but we did not know.

00:13:44
Speaker 2: About them until later. Wow. Can we get into that? I guess we can. I'm curious. I mean, she there southern.

00:13:53
Speaker 3: They live in Arkansas, and she because she came from Korea in the seventies, okay, and married this crazy man, crazy man, American man.

00:14:04
Speaker 2: This actually sat kind of sad story. And then she had she had to he died, okay, and she had to give them up for adoption because she doesn't have any you know, skills or language.

00:14:13
Speaker 3: Or this is a bad, bad time. The seventies in Arkansas rough for a Korean lady. Nah, A good time, I cannot imagine. And then so they yeah, they were adopted, and then they grew up separately from me, and then she met my dad had me and my sister, and then when I was ten, they they like found her social Security number somewhere and reached out and then I learned about them then. And then I've you know, known them since.

00:14:41
Speaker 2: Then, And do you have is there like a good relationship? No?

00:14:44
Speaker 3: No, actually I don't know. They're just doing their own thing. We're just very different. But we still, like I saw them most recently, like last year, so we continued.

00:14:54
Speaker 2: And they have a decent relationship with your mom at this point.

00:14:58
Speaker 3: It's sure, I think, as good as you can for your mom being sort of a stranger to you and like later on in life. But she's also she's she's a funky late she's very Christian. I grew up really really religious, and I think they're a little like.

00:15:17
Speaker 2: What what the fuck? Call back? What the fuck? She's very Yeah. I think maybe they weren't expecting her to be like so religious. Okay, so the like the friction is coming from her.

00:15:30
Speaker 3: It's we're not gonna blame this. I mean, she's she's just a menace. She's just causing. Yeah, she needs to get it together. Yeah, read the room girl, That's what I'm always saying to her. Read the room. But she's the drama.

00:15:48
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're back to I mean the fact that you have two older brothers did make you gay?

00:15:52
Speaker 3: Because before I probably, Yeah, I thought I didn't. Why am I stuttering like.

00:15:58
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go clearly very nervous. We'll move on, We'll move on. Not gay. I don't know what.

00:16:04
Speaker 3: You're Yeah, I think if I hadn't, because if I hadn't known about them, then I'd be like that study has no weight.

00:16:12
Speaker 2: But not knowing, right, that does make a lot of sense. Is it just like genetics just says, Okay, we've done, we've done two straights, let's try to make it up. Yeah.

00:16:24
Speaker 3: It's like later Madonna album where she's like, I've.

00:16:28
Speaker 2: Got to do something new. I'm bored. I want to be relevant. Yeah, let's let's do hip hop. Let's experiment with the European producer. That's right, Yeah, let's start. Yeah, let's put M I A on the track. Do you remember that you're really getting into deep? I'm gonna into later where she where she starts to like work with every younger woman artist to like kind of stay the blond, drink the blood, drink the blood. The m I A thing that was was that one? Is that the song where it's kind of like cheerleading?

00:17:01
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was am I a Nicki Minaj and they performed at the super Bowl.

00:17:05
Speaker 2: Was that produced by Sophie? I don't think so, Okay, some Sophie. Did Sophie come in at some point? She did? She did come in somewhere at some point that Madonna tends. Oh, I don't know, we'd have to that. I hope I'm right about that. But there was there was a period where Madonna seemed to just be, you know, firing at every target. Yes, I mean, god bless, she could have been doing the same thing for years, have gotten boring, and she decided to just be a mess. And she's still killing it. She's still killing Every song is better than the last.

00:17:41
Speaker 3: The transition from I have two older brothers, I'm gay to it's just like Madonna.

00:17:47
Speaker 2: It's very kind of proving the point. Yeah.

00:17:51
Speaker 3: And also yeah, and my older sister is bye too, So yeah, we're both queer and so I think, Yeah, I think it's the the two straight brothers really sucked it up for us.

00:18:03
Speaker 2: I've been straight, I had a good life. You could think of the things you could be doing.

00:18:08
Speaker 3: Right now, I'm at a high tops on a Friday night, begging, begging him for attention.

00:18:17
Speaker 2: Do you go out? Control of this podcast? Do you go out? I don't go out. Last night, I we went to dinner, my boyfriend and I and then after and I was like, I feel like doing something fun. And then I thought, what is fun? What? What do people do?

00:18:33
Speaker 3: And that's it's because you have a boyfriend, and that's what happens.

00:18:37
Speaker 2: I guess you become happy and well that's I mean, that isn't true. Okay, deeply unhappy person. Where where is he? He's in the house here and we can bring him out. Let's bring We can't bring him onto the podcast. He will destroy whatever we're talking about. Oh what's he like? He's a wild animal? Oh okay, okay, he'll dominate what ever we're saying. Now. The listeners like, bring him out. He's a top. It's not.

00:19:05
Speaker 3: He's a domb. Okay, I see that. That's what I need.

00:19:08
Speaker 2: That's what you need someone to get you in line.

00:19:10
Speaker 3: That's right, that's yeah, because I'm I'm crazy. I'm crazy, I'm mentally ill.

00:19:17
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like you're a very sedate, very you have like a pleasant presence. Oh that's really.

00:19:23
Speaker 3: Thank you, that's really nice. You are really wrong about that now. I think that's it's like a quiet storm where like other people think, I'm calm and grounded, and inside there's a whirl with things that makes I can relate to that in some ways stormy.

00:19:40
Speaker 2: I see it in your eyes, there's a storm of ruin. I'm blinking really fast. We're both like, heay, what older brothers?

00:19:51
Speaker 3: You know?

00:19:51
Speaker 2: I yeah, I've got to find something fun to do. What I just feel like that's not even a thing that can happen anymore. Yeah, it is that bad to say. Am I just describing my depression? What's our version of recess? Our old? Our old people? We're old? Yeah, we're old people. Like what do you do? And then like things that are like outright fun where it's like physical activities like that's trying too hard? Sure, and then I just ended up watching TV?

00:20:17
Speaker 3: What about like making your own pottery? See that's not a bad idea, yeah.

00:20:23
Speaker 2: Or even painting it. One of those painting play paints. What they're like, paint me, color me mine, color me paints paints mine. There's one of those feelings. It was the last fun activity I did before the pandemic. Actually, what is that called glazefire? It's on Hillhurst there. I went and painted a hideous mug and you have it, I do. It's just tail and all on the side. I think it's still my favorite word. For a long time, it was my favorite word. I'm a Thailand all girl, I'm but I love the word tilan a.

00:20:56
Speaker 3: Oh interesting, why are you? What's I just I like it? I like, yeah, I'm I'm eating I mean them a lot every day.

00:21:10
Speaker 2: I don't know, because there is I think that's a fun word too. Well, what how do you spell that? Said? Oh? I don't know. Ace all right, that's the generic of it or whatever the yeah, the chemical name or whatever. And advil is an aspirin is that's ibuprofe. Ibuprofen. That's is not as fun to say, no, but more interesting because it's ibu and we've all decided it's ib profin either than ib profin, iboo profi boo I boo profan. Yeah, well so I will alternate. When I'm really sick, I think every four hours, I'll just do maximum dose of whatever. But for me, you're going to catch me taking an advil first. I don't know if it's just mentally, I think that does something better. Yeah, imagine they should do their own special thing I from what is this fun? I think the listeners, like a listener right now is like, please get to the bottom of this. Why would I kick Advilla in one scenario, Tail and all another and you're not.

00:22:19
Speaker 3: Even getting We're not sponsored by either, well not only giving them so much airtime.

00:22:24
Speaker 2: This is kind of a bake off between til and Advil, which will be the sponsor for the podcast.

00:22:28
Speaker 3: This is what my understanding of the difference is. Tilan alls for fevers and Advil is for like muscle aches and pains.

00:22:37
Speaker 2: Oh stuff like that. See I would have said the opposite. So these companies are doing a bad job of kind of signaling what they should be used for. Yeah, they're hoping hoping you'll just buy one bottle and hope that it takes care of everything.

00:22:52
Speaker 3: They'll they're looking for brand loyalty from us, like how we like how I get Apple stuff right?

00:22:59
Speaker 2: Android stuff? Right? Are you an Android person? Not at all? Okay, I feel like a Mac girl. Yeah. I worked at the Apples store when you're like last week ago, this is before, this is during college. This was during college, and I was a bad employee. No, no, no, I was just on the floor line to people. Oh, because I didn't know anything about any of the products at the time. I only owned an iPod. I didn't own a Mac computer or anything. So when people would have questions, I would just make things up.

00:23:32
Speaker 1: Oh.

00:23:34
Speaker 2: So that's just something to keep in mind if you're shopping at the Apple store, if someone's really confident to your own research before you take the bait, I think you just have.

00:23:43
Speaker 3: To repeat the word processor again and again and people would be like, yeah, you know what you're talking about exactly exactly. Well, Tyler and all Advil, we never really got to the bottom of what which is which?

00:23:55
Speaker 2: But honestly, do you have an idea?

00:23:58
Speaker 4: I mean all I know is that, uh, I mean for me, Thailand all doesn't work, so wow, So yeah, I.

00:24:04
Speaker 5: Need I need the as for in aceda minifin combo with the caffeine.

00:24:11
Speaker 2: And now I'll get rid of the headache like that. Oh, I need to get a bottle of that.

00:24:14
Speaker 4: It is the only thing that'll take care of a headache for me. So I'm kind of stuck with it.

00:24:18
Speaker 2: For treat myself to a bottle of What have I started? And what's my doll? Oh? Interesting because that's also looked over.

00:24:30
Speaker 5: Honestly, I've never taken my doll, so I've always taken advil for those kinds of pain.

00:24:34
Speaker 4: So right, yeah, Tyland Hall's never worked.

00:24:36
Speaker 5: If I ever had like, uh, those kinds of menstrual cramps, I would take an advil and that would.

00:24:41
Speaker 2: Do the trick, right. I remember hearing that in middle school all the time. That was like an insult take a my doll?

00:24:46
Speaker 3: Okay, And now I'm really understanding your background. Wow, Well I wasn't saying sure.

00:24:53
Speaker 2: I know, we know you said it.

00:24:55
Speaker 3: We know we said that that middle school misogynist running fro. I think mine is one of those like it's the same product, but they just like sell it to women. Interesting, like the pink razors that are like actually worse and more expensive for her for her.

00:25:14
Speaker 2: Yeah no, no, cut that out, Chiladall. This is a marketing Yeah no, bad ideas, And no, I don't anyone that's we're getting at. No one would know that that was advil. We need to do marketing for like gay men specific stuff too. It's like a Thailand all for gay men. Yeah, I mean, let's see, are not off right now? I think, yeah, I don't have anything for gay men men. Well, i'd have to say the f slur. I don't want to do that right now. So later in the podcast, the flur segment of the of I said, no gifts. We'll both scream it at the same time. Cool. Well, I do think there's something else we need to talk about. Obviously, I was happy to have you here today. I was really excited to have you over. He thought, Sam's wonderful. How could we not have a bad time together? And here we are here, we are having the worst possible time, and I'm just clawing it. How can I make this better? Uh? No, I was. I was looking forward to having you here. On I said, no gifts a podcast is a very clear title, pretty clear directive, and so I was a little surprised. I was a little thrown when I walked into the backyard here and I saw you chatting away with an a lease and uh with you a gift bag with my first initial on it b b B for Bridger. I have a gift Okay, well sorry you said no gifts, but I have one. I appreciate the apology, and it's obviously for me. Should I open it here on the podcast? Please go for it? Okay, let me get into it. It's this gorgeous white gift bag with a big block letter B. I'm going to reach in. Okay, we're pulling it. Oh, oh, this is very interesting. Yes, this is very interesting. It's a queer tarot deck. And the last time I saw you, I wanted you to do my terror and I felt bad about that and I never got around left because I was like, Sam's busy, I'm not gonna bother my god and so and then my life kind of fell into ruin and it would have been nice to have some warning.

00:27:52
Speaker 3: Yes, and I'm again I'm sorry, but there were a lot more important people.

00:27:56
Speaker 2: I was reading that night and I was like, I'm going to see you anyway. Well, I was really planning on being first. But then you you just when people start doing tarot, I'm sure you're just you're batting people away.

00:28:10
Speaker 3: There were you know, I feel you don't even need it because you have a boyfriend. And the number one question that night was what's going on with my love life?

00:28:20
Speaker 2: Oh?

00:28:20
Speaker 1: Was it?

00:28:20
Speaker 2: Really? Honestly it was because of what sort of answers did you give? You're broken, You're I look at your hair lately? No, No, I'm nice. I'd be an Insult Tarot reader, like an insult comic. I'm going to start that podcast on I'm poaching on Elias for my head on Insult Tarot podcat. Yeah. No, it was, you know, honestly, because it was a lot of straight women.

00:28:53
Speaker 3: Who were do like very had their work lives together, very small, art and confident women. And that's sort of actually bad for men, is what great men are do the worst species on the planet. And I feel bad for every woman who dates men.

00:29:16
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I mean you la, there's I know, so many wonderful women who are like everything about their lives is incredible. They've got to start together, And I'm like, oh, I can't. I can think of maybe a quarter of a man I would like to set you up with. Yeah, oh yeah, I can't think of any Yeah, I would never do that to you. Yeah, I would love to find one decent man for one of my many straight women friends, but it's not happening.

00:29:40
Speaker 3: There's just yeah, they're all so wonderful and gorgeous and amazing, and then the men that they have to deal with, it's just like slime there. If they're smart, then they're not funny. If they're funny, then they don't have a job. If they're like, they have one hundred other problems, or they have a second secret family. If someone seems amazing in all these ways, they probably have bodies under the floorboard.

00:30:06
Speaker 2: Or yeah, I mean every man has at least one flaw. But that's like, if you find one with a single flaw, you what a catch? And what's yours? Let me get into my Google docs. We can ever guards what floor That's why I brought Yeah, I mean I would be thrilled do it? Okay, where did you learn to do tarot?

00:30:30
Speaker 3: I found a gay shaman on Instagram who was teaching a class.

00:30:35
Speaker 2: Oh wow, so I did a three week course like six years ago. That's how I started. And yeah, and did you feel like you like at the end of the course, did you feel like, I know, I'm an expert at this now, I did not know. I did not did you know anything about it going in?

00:30:51
Speaker 3: Actually no, I like I knew what the tarot cards were, but I was kind of honest, sort of spiritual journey of like seeing psychics and stuff.

00:30:59
Speaker 2: Right right now, Remind me, do I have to cut the deck? You have to shuffle because this is a brand new deck, brandow and they're kind of I'm all in order. I hate when people see me shuffle. Oh you close your eyes. Okay, never learned to shuffle. It's more of a just making a mess, although I've heard Vegas dealers make it a mess. I mean you can.

00:31:22
Speaker 3: I tell people they can shove however they want. They can throw all the cards on the floor and pick them back.

00:31:27
Speaker 2: They're brand new cards. I'm not throwing these on the ground. I mean, I'm just gonna they belong to you. You can do whatever you want. I'm letting the universe guide my hands, letting the planets put these where they may go. I'm not even looking at this point. That embarrassed. When's your birthday? Whence you're signed on October ninth? I'm a libra. I thought there was that weird period. Do you remember this period when everyone was like, uh, now you're no longer that sign I do. Then we all said no, but my I'm a tourist and that that like new classification. I was still a Taurus. Oh interesting, Really, where would I have shifted? I can't remember libra. What's libra between? It's between scorpio. That sounds right. You would have been a virgo, a virgo. Maybe I don't have to look at the Okay, interesting, what's a virgo? What happens within a virgos?

00:32:21
Speaker 3: A lot of my best friends are virgos because we're like virgos also an Earth sign.

00:32:26
Speaker 2: Okay, virgos.

00:32:28
Speaker 3: Every virgo I know has done like they like to have three jobs at once or they're like they they're like straight a students, okay, and they love to like spread themselves thin and they're just very like diligent.

00:32:42
Speaker 2: I like to spread myself then without any jobs. That's kind of my current way to behave. So maybe I don't fall into that category. I'm the same.

00:32:54
Speaker 3: Like to me, spreading yourself then is like you do pilates and then you go to erewuan and it's like what a busy day, and then you make like a buckwhee pancake. Like, that's hard work too, and no one's talking about that.

00:33:08
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's more my speed. But that's even too busy for me. I'm spreading myself then by just sitting at my kitchen count or wondering about what I should do, and then I'm exhausted, maybe like going from room to room. That's not a bad idea, is sad running around there, you know, having to take one solid dump a day. That's really difficult work too. I was just watching the show alone and there was a character a person. Have you watched the show? No, it's a reality suareness. Yeah, they're in the wilderness alone eating mice and we won't get into that. We talked about that in the last episode, and I'm sure the listener was mad. But one character was I think constipated for like two weeks, and I that's right. How do you not die? Yeah, that's really that's actually very scary. Yeah, I would be absolutely mortified. You know, I think there was you know what Bachelor in Paradise is. I've never seen it, but I'm familiar.

00:34:03
Speaker 3: Okay, there, I would didn't watch this latest season, but apparently there was a girl who literally had to leave the island because she was so constipated. She couldn't find love because she had to like she had to go to the hospital and they had to like push make her have.

00:34:19
Speaker 2: A bowel movement, and there she met a very handsome talk shot.

00:34:23
Speaker 3: That would be the ideal situation, because everyone else on that on that island, they're they're like like songwriters and yeah, they have no Joe quote unquote, so yeah, and.

00:34:33
Speaker 2: They're probably all constipated too, they're just too ashamed to admit it. That's right. Okay, I've shuffled the deck. Okay, I want you to cut it into three, kind of put it back in a different way. And what are we pulling for? Do you have a like what do I need to know right now?

00:34:51
Speaker 1: Yeah?

00:34:51
Speaker 2: Do you have a specific question or an area in your life or a situation? Yeah, I would like to know if anything is if I'm ever going to have a job in the entertainment industry.

00:35:00
Speaker 3: Again, you're really asking the wrong person because I asked myself my cards that every day and inconclusive, inconclusive.

00:35:09
Speaker 2: How about just uh, I would like to have some general picture of the next six months to see if twenty twenty four is going to be a complete ball and we're kind of more in the career space where they, yeah, something that where my days are occupied by something where I you know, I'm not just watching time go down the drain. You're not just watching alone. I'm not just watching alone. Okay, Well, I guess I'll do.

00:35:36
Speaker 3: You want to want me pick six cards for the rest of the year, Okay, and you can pick them randomly or off the top however you feel.

00:35:45
Speaker 2: Okay, these are thick cards. Do I turn them over? No, and just happen to me and I'll turn them over. I mean, these are The feel of these cards is absolutely gorgeous. Let's see here. Take that one, Hey, take that one. Can I cut it a little bit to test?

00:36:01
Speaker 3: Oh?

00:36:02
Speaker 2: Yes, absolutely, I'm obviously really just trying putting as much effort to get a good future as possible. Okay, I've got six cards on the table. Shout out the deck.

00:36:14
Speaker 3: It's the Queer Tarot, an inclusive deck by Ashley Molesso and Chess need Hum.

00:36:21
Speaker 2: Interesting there there, every I mean, every tarot is a queer tarot. That's not true. That's not true. Some of them are very hetero.

00:36:30
Speaker 3: Actually, I feel like the original tarot is hetero because there's like queens and kings.

00:36:35
Speaker 2: And I mean the user the end.

00:36:40
Speaker 3: If you find yourself with a tarot deck, you probably have two older brothers, is what.

00:36:46
Speaker 2: Probably, how do we get straight men into tarot? Dude wipes present tarot?

00:36:52
Speaker 3: Probably like Hymns needs to start selling a tarot Rogan Joe Rogan's Baro deck.

00:37:02
Speaker 2: Yeah, Joe, reach out. Okay, they're getting turned over here. Illustrations have kind of neon and d glow. Is that what we would say?

00:37:13
Speaker 3: I would yeah, I would say it's yeah, yes, I agree, yes, all right.

00:37:23
Speaker 2: Each of these is where was June? And also it's like this is more of a the rest of the year overall vibe, but we can go month to month. Okay, oh my god, this could end with me and just sobbing, you know, and that would be a good thing. There's no video for this podcast. It's just the listeners. Just here a quiet sniffle. How do you cry? Oh? Are you a sober?

00:37:50
Speaker 1: Oh?

00:37:50
Speaker 2: Yeah, what about you? I think I'm like like open open mouth and yeah and like no noise. Oh interesting, I think I'm I probably have There's like a variety for me like I kind of touch every base when I'm crying. Okay, climb deep sobs until my eyes are no, there's no moisture left. It's not a good scene. And you know there are people out there. I hope they're listening, and I hope you're you've done this to me listeners, Hollywood, you've done this June June.

00:38:37
Speaker 3: So we have a judgment judgment here, And if you look at this image, it's like all these queers, all these baristas standing up and this uh, this person has like a trumpet. And so I always associate judgment with like it's like a call to action or a call to adventure or some sort of feeling of like rising up. So if you have felt like you have just sort of been sitting around watching alone, interesting, maybe there is actually a shift you Like, it could be a literal get the call. Maybe it could be a job or some kind of some sort of new direction.

00:39:14
Speaker 2: Okay, this feels like exactly what we need right now. Yeah, we're waking up, shaking.

00:39:21
Speaker 1: You know.

00:39:22
Speaker 2: I mean, and also I mean we've got the upcoming live show and this looks that the person with the trumpet is kind of me in that situation and that's the audience Yewriter dot Com, June twenty six. So maybe that's interesting. I think that that will bring more.

00:39:40
Speaker 3: Attention and maybe I don't know, maybe Hollywood will be there, Hollywood will be in the audience.

00:39:48
Speaker 2: Okay, so there's there's a chance of a turn.

00:39:51
Speaker 3: Why don't Okay, July and then we have the sun Ano fun fun, I mean July fourth. I know how patriotic you are.

00:40:05
Speaker 2: Fourth of July, historically, for me, is the most oppressing day of the year. Every year, I find myself emotionally beneath I mean record low, beneath rock bot because you hate hot dogs or are you at an event? Usually, even if I'm at an event, I'm usually there's something about It's like kind of the middle of the year. You're like, what's going on? Everyone else? It's I don't It's not a fun holiday to me. I don't care about fireworks or hot dogs. So I think there's a lot of things coming together and like most of my friends aren't the sort of people who have Fourth of July parties, so there's really nothing going on that's that fun.

00:40:42
Speaker 3: Yeah, your friends are all Antifa, Well, I think you might and you know what you're describing as summertime sadness?

00:40:52
Speaker 2: Is that a real thing?

00:40:53
Speaker 3: I talked, I gave yes. The scholar Lana del Rey documented this phenomenon.

00:41:01
Speaker 2: I have it too.

00:41:02
Speaker 3: I get actually sad in this when it's too sunny. Oh interesting, weirdly or like there's some time in the summer that I get my summer depression.

00:41:10
Speaker 2: Okay, but I love I love the summer. I love the sun, but sometimes in the middle of the summer it can feel a little oppressive. Is that a song? There ain't no cure for the summertime blues? There we go.

00:41:21
Speaker 3: I don't know who that is, buta del Rey, I don't know, but I mean the sun if just the meaning of that, we have this like rainbow tapestry. We have, the sun's out, it's very everything's sort of like harmonious, and things are going well and there's a joy to it. Okay, Just so I feel like going off if we're moving from this card that was a call to adventure, and I feel like we're just keeping the good times going.

00:41:49
Speaker 2: Okay, an evolution of the change. You're really getting my hopes up here.

00:41:54
Speaker 3: Right now, and then I'm about to drop you like the Tower of Terror Riot. I love the Tell of Towers Gone.

00:42:02
Speaker 2: They turned it into another marvel I love. I loved the Tower of Tower. Oh, the feeling there was perfect. Absolutely, it was actually creepy. Yeah it was. It made sense as a ride and now my virginity on the Tower of I'm just kidding. It was perfect. I feel like we both would have been good like Disneyland employees at that ride. I can picture us both in the uniform. We'd commit to the character you could, you could.

00:42:34
Speaker 3: I would play a ghost, and I think you would play it like the the person who checks you in.

00:42:39
Speaker 2: Like the bellboy or whatever. Yes, yeah, you know it doesn't exist anymore. Yeah, Disney dropping at all. Speaking of dropping the ball, the third card we have August.

00:42:51
Speaker 3: So we have the moon, and so that is not a negative card at all, but it is a card of like a little It can be confused because whereas the sun it's like the light of the sun the daytime, the moon it's like kind of like stumbling in the dark a little bit, or you having to trust your intuition when you don't know exactly where the next move is.

00:43:14
Speaker 2: Or the next step. Not something someone like me needs to hear.

00:43:17
Speaker 3: But it's it's an exercise in trusting yourself, letting go of control, and just having faith and patience and kind and self kindness and gentleness with yourself.

00:43:30
Speaker 2: But and we all love the moon. I mean I love the moon. I think everyone's on board with the moon. I mean the moon controls so much. Yes, the tides the moon. We could let's get rid of the sun. We don't need it. The moon's also kind of worthless. I think we get rid of all of it. We couldn't, I mean, we none of us could live on the sun, but we could live on the moon. Probably. Yeah, that's true. Jeff Bezos can't get the sun, but he can get the moon. He can't get the moon. So okay, so I'm going to go wild in August.

00:44:03
Speaker 3: You're going to turn into a werewolf in August. There is something about like, yeah, maybe not being not being so analytical and logical, but being more primal and.

00:44:18
Speaker 2: Right and just more like yeah, okay, yeah, okay. I I've got a couple of months to prepare for that sort of behavior, because that's really not my usual thing. But if maybe I can start letting go of control right now by August, you're going to control, letting go of control? Yes, okay, really planned to let go. Well, then we move into September. September, the beginning of you know, Prestige movie season. Oh, I was taking nine to eleven, but you forgot about that. Don't you hate July? Wor it and you forget nine to eleven? Interesting? September we have strength. Strength.

00:45:05
Speaker 3: Strength can mean a lot of the things. There's like an infinity sign on top of this person's head, and strength is always a person like petting a lion, So it's sort of getting in control of your demons or like, instead of getting control of this lion by force, they're using like gentleness to hit the lions.

00:45:25
Speaker 2: It's not so much your domination.

00:45:27
Speaker 3: It's not a yeah, strength, it's not like a traditional idea of strength. It's more through kindness, gentleness, mind games, absolute manipulation. If coming from the moon, there is a little bit more. We're like, Okay, we kind of went through that, and now you're feeling stronger about yourself.

00:45:48
Speaker 2: And because I've learned new things and learned to trust myself. Yeah, maybe you've overcome a little bit of that obstacle or learned a little bit. I don't know a bit more about the process. Right, tried something new with my hair and what would you? I don't know anything. Got a couple of months to find bond. I go blonde.

00:46:07
Speaker 3: Okay, Well that that means August was really rough for you. If you go blonde.

00:46:12
Speaker 2: If I went blonde, I would be the sickest looking person on the planet. People would be like, oh no, I think you could pull it off. There was no I am pro I mean it would happen. The way I would pull it off is people would be like, well, that's the most shocking thing he could have possibly done. So it must have been intentional, you know.

00:46:30
Speaker 3: Sometimes like when again, not to bring it back to Madonna, but pop stars they go they do a new era and they like completely change their look, and that could be my sickly era.

00:46:42
Speaker 2: That's right, kind of like someone who's contained to a hospital bed and that's like COVID COVID covidra.

00:46:51
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like throw. It's like throw, you know, how like why two K's back? Like maybe COVID aesthetics will be back at some point. Oh absolutely, yeah, there's a question, right, I think.

00:47:01
Speaker 2: So it'll be people that give themselves, their own haircuts, more mask wearing a mass The gloves will probably come back to It'll be like a really COVID. I'm ready.

00:47:11
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm ready for that. You're already ready for licking toilets licked toilet challenge.

00:47:18
Speaker 2: I think if we're talking about career, because obviously this career is so up and down. No one go into entertainment if you're listening.

00:47:28
Speaker 3: If you're listening, you probably aren't entertainment. Let's be real or want to be leave the business, get out of here. Unsubscribed, subscribe from other podcasts and follow my podcast Bad Tarot, produced by Honor Lisa, dropping June sixth. So I think I think it's like a renewed hope here. I can't like because because I feel like for most people in the entertainment industry, every three months it's like should I leave. It's like a mental breakdown, and then you get over it and then you're like, I can do this.

00:48:02
Speaker 2: I keep doing this. Wow, I'm on top again. Yeah, so maybe you're on top again in September. September, okay, well let's move on to October. Okay, October is my birthday.

00:48:12
Speaker 3: Oh that's right, Libra season, we have King of Pentacles. I feel like that's a good time for your career as well, because the Kings are very authoritative and the Pentacles are regarding like money and career and practical things. So it's it's it feels like you're in control of your career or your money.

00:48:35
Speaker 2: And and look at that. I mean, the pants this person is wearing are great, just kind of a pants. It's a little.

00:48:45
Speaker 3: Like being your own boss or maybe your own projects are what's bringing you that stability versus waiting for someone to hire you or wait for an outside person would be the one to give you that opportunity.

00:49:00
Speaker 2: Art at my auto shop or bakery, hair salon.

00:49:04
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know, but there's something about it, like you are your own boss, and I think I think that that's something to remember.

00:49:11
Speaker 2: Everybody. Watch out. I don't need you anymore, You don't need Bridgard doesn't need you and your shitty little sitcom and your ship. Start your own room. Start for your own room. Don't get me started. Then we move on. What is November? November? Oh, and then we have so we have back to back pentacles. Now we have Queen of Pentacles, right right, Oh, so happy couple, husband and wife team. I mean, maybe you become a third oh in someone else's swinging relationship. I don't know these two women. What does the Queen of Pentacles do for me? What does it mean?

00:49:51
Speaker 3: It's a little bit of the genderness like kings represent more control and like leadership, whereas queen's are more nurturing or internal. It's more of the emotional versus the mental. So the queen's feel very secure, and they feel fulfilled, and they feel purposeful. Okay, so maybe this is this is a little bit more like money, status, work, and this is a little bit more my purpose, my creativity, my feeling good about what I'm doing okay.

00:50:24
Speaker 2: And the holidays are just around the corner, so and they're both to me. Secure at your stable, so I feel like you'll be feeling all right. I mean, I feel what universe could that possibly be? You might this, you never know.

00:50:40
Speaker 3: This could be a good year for you, you don't even know. And then and we're ending, and then look at this, we have the star wrapping it up. And this is one of my favorite cards.

00:50:51
Speaker 2: What does this mean? The star usually represents like inspiration, but sometimes it's very literal like I've gotten this readings. It was just like, yeah, you're a star.

00:51:03
Speaker 3: You're things are you're shining, things that you're pursuing are working out for you, or you're being seen.

00:51:09
Speaker 2: So I want everyone listening to be aware of what's being said. And by December, I'm going to be a star. I'm earnestly telling you that you got this. You got this, Thank you, Sam, And this is exactly what I needed today. I want you to get your revenge, so you know I want to. I mean, ultimately, I just want to go on a mission of revenge. Yeah, kind of a kill Bill's style. Yeah, there's a list of people who've got to watch out. You know, gay people are on the rise. I don't.

00:51:41
Speaker 3: I always want to let you know we've been blocked from the industry in many ways and now we're I feel like we're hot.

00:51:48
Speaker 2: Shit.

00:51:50
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, you know, you know how many gay best friends I've auditioned for in the last month. There's a lot our voices are needed.

00:51:58
Speaker 2: And that is the only position a gay person should ever be in a television show, just the best. Everyone else in the show should be straight. Girl. Have you gone shopping lately? I don't think so.

00:52:14
Speaker 3: I'm not getting these parts, clearly I have. I am just too depressed to play. I feel like there's there's like fun gay people, and then there's suppressed gayeither.

00:52:23
Speaker 2: Right, that's sort of right. I follow probably into the latter category. That's why I'm not getting called in for any of these things. No one would ever believe me as a happy gay person.

00:52:33
Speaker 3: And that's and you say you need to write the story of the sad, most miserable man. Yeah, yeah, Carol, we need a Carol, but for gay men.

00:52:43
Speaker 2: I'm trying to think, is there one of those? I mean again, Carol kind of is for gay men, but yeah, what would that possibly be? And it'll be played by two straight men? Yeah, directed by Luca Guadagnio. Yeah, she's kind of the kind of go to that sort of film, you know what. I'm not mad at it anyway. Okay, Well, at speed, I think we should play a game. Okay, I think we're gonna play We're gonna you know, last week I said that we're not playing this game anymore for a while, but we're gonna play a game called Gift Master. Anyway. Oh, I needed number between one and ten from you. Seven, Okay, I need to do some light calculating right now to get our game pieces. So right now, you can promote something, recommend something, do whatever you want with the microphone. I'll be right back.

00:53:30
Speaker 3: I actually have my debut single that I'm dropping the first week of June, probably when this podcast comes out, actually June sixth. I have a song called Foreskin. It's spelled number four ski N and I am my pop starname is gay Virgin, so and you can you can follow me at gay Virgin Official for updates on the single and subsequent EP that I will be dropping later this year. But yeah, look out for Foreskin on all music platforms. It's a banger. It's a song of the summer.

00:54:09
Speaker 2: I think that's a great recommendation. Do you play any instruments?

00:54:14
Speaker 3: Not really, I mean I taught myself Shadow by Ashley Simpson on the guitar, like in two thousand and five, and that song really it's really sad actually because it's about Ashley Simpson living in the shadow of Jessica Simpson, of course, and that was probably really harder for her. Yeah, it's really hard for her shadow of Jessica, who is now a billionaire.

00:54:40
Speaker 2: I have shoe entrepreneur. Yeah, yeah, I remember when I worked at overstock dot com. We would have to write descriptions of her shoes. How many jobs have you had? Truly before I got before I moved to LA I think I had like twenty five jobs. Wow. I've done a lot of different types of work.

00:54:58
Speaker 1: Yeah.

00:54:59
Speaker 2: I've been a sec shopper for cigarettes. I've worked in a factory putting frames together, work for the postal service. I mean, it's all all over the map. I'm not someone and maybe this is the problem. I'm not someone you should hire, but you should be your own boss. Yeah, that's true, that's right. And I've got all kinds of skills I've developed. This is how we play gift Master. I'm going to name three things, three gifts you can give away, and then I'm going to name three celebrities. You're gonna tell me which celebrity you would give which gift and why. Okay does that make perfect sense? Yes? Okay, be perfect? Okay, let me continue clarify. These are the gifts you're giving away. Number one is a career ending scandal. Number two is a g wagon. Do you know what a g wagon is? That's a car? It's maybe the worst car. It's one of the cars driven by bad people. So I think it's a Mercedes. Are very boxing you, No, it's it's not the car a nice person drives. But they're very expensive. But they're yeah, and they're hot, they're sexy. And number three is fangs, Tita. Yes, you'll be giving them to the following celebrities. Number one Rachel Ray, Number two Faith Hill. Faith Hill who sings those songs.

00:56:22
Speaker 1: That I know?

00:56:23
Speaker 2: Is Faith Hill Garth Brook's wife? Or is that another country singer? Tricia Yearwood is Garth Brooks's wife. I think Faith Hill, I don't know. It's her famous picture her, Oh, still married to Tim McGraw. Wedding bells are ringing. No trouble in paradise, Okay. I imagine Tim McGraw, Faith Hill, Tricia Yearwood and Garth Brooks probably going double dates. They're probably switching off. They're swinging. Yeah, there's got to be swinging, swinging happening within that community. All of them are cute, cute. And number three is Solange. Where is she? I don't know, I'll call her, I mean, where is she? She needs? She need? We need a new album. I feel like she needs to remember what fun is. I think she got a little. She hasn't had a bowel movement in years. Probably, I think she needs to she needs to put out a fun album.

00:57:25
Speaker 3: I want, I want, Yes, I want new music from her. She's great, right, but just you know, something with a little more lively like E d M.

00:57:35
Speaker 2: I think she needs to go pure d M.

00:57:37
Speaker 3: She needs to work with Skrillics. Yes, a Squillics salons.

00:57:42
Speaker 2: Yeah, I see it. Okay, So what are you? Can you even remember the gift? Okay?

00:57:48
Speaker 3: So there is a career ending, scale ending scandal, a g wagon ee wagon and fangs and fang and we have Rachel Ray, faith Hill and Solange.

00:57:59
Speaker 2: Yes, wow, this is really hard. Actually, I don't even know where to begin. Well, I think I like.

00:58:07
Speaker 3: I think I like Solange the most, like just she seems chill and cool, So I don't I want to give her the best one, which I actually don't know how to make.

00:58:22
Speaker 2: This is which one of those is the best gift?

00:58:26
Speaker 3: I guess like a car, even if it's like not a car that like a car would make fun. It's all a brand new car.

00:58:32
Speaker 2: Now it is a brand new car. It's probably like a ninety seven accord at this point.

00:58:38
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it's this the sister of Beyonce. But Beyonce doesn't Let's be clear, Beyonce doesn't.

00:58:44
Speaker 2: Help her person, you know. But Beyonce is a penny pincher. She's not a NEPO sister. No, no, no, She's just do it on your own.

00:58:53
Speaker 3: Yeah, So I would give I think I would give her the g wagon and she could like sell it or you know, or give it away or something.

00:59:01
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I feel like that's like the best probably of the three, right in my opinion, I mean my opinion. Fangs. I feel like Solange could pull off fangs. But what did what did they do like give her? She's on the front page of every magazine. People want to see this new set of chumpers. I don't know that Vogue is picking up fangs this season. I don't know until she's got them. You know what.

00:59:28
Speaker 3: I'm going to give Rachel Ray the fangs actually, because I think as a chef, she it would probably help her chew her food better, or she could like cut steaks with her fing, Like, she doesn't even need to use knives anymore.

00:59:43
Speaker 2: To see her just biting into a steak and use her hands. Rach. Yeah, Rachel raised to meat and a line of dog food? Does she that makes at some point? So? And you know who else said Ellen? Ellen also dog food for her whole career.

01:00:02
Speaker 3: She was like an investor or whatever of Halo dog food and she was talking about it like every episode. That was like a religious Ellen watcher. Okay, yeah, I would watch it every day after school and she would be like speaking of career ending scandals. So, yeah, she's good, she has one already. Who she Yeah, she's been gifted that.

01:00:23
Speaker 2: I was left. Faith Hill was getting the career ending scandal.

01:00:28
Speaker 3: I just haven't heard much about Faith lately, and I think I'm biased just because, like I don't have a personal connection to her do the other two. So I guess I wouldn't miss her if her career went away because to apologies to Faith, I'm sorry Faith.

01:00:47
Speaker 2: And also I think she wouldn't mind. I think she'd be like, yeah, I'm done. I can imagine her like, oh, what career do I have to exactly that? She just sounds like us too. Faith Hills starting to be a comedy, right.

01:01:04
Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, I think she's fine. I think she's fine and she she does. It's like there are people who would lose more by having their career end.

01:01:13
Speaker 2: But I think she's like good. She squeezed all the juice out of it that she can.

01:01:18
Speaker 3: She's I don't think she has any new music coming out, or a line of cookware or anything like.

01:01:22
Speaker 2: I think she's okay. She's probably just kind of tooling around the house at this point.

01:01:27
Speaker 3: She's probably eating Tricia Yearwood out as we speak.

01:01:34
Speaker 2: I don't know who that is either Tricia Year, would Faith Hill, Who's oh Shania twainas I think that's kind of the Yah of the three. Hunia definitely has the songs that people can remember. Yeah, the other two crossovers since it would struggle to name one of their songs. Yeah, okay, Well you played it perfectly. Thank you, you played it absolutely perfectly. This is the final segment of the podcast. It's called I said no emails. People write in two I said no gifts at gmail dot com okay, and every one of them needs an answer to something or other, And so I've kind of started a service on my own time, my own dollar, helping people. Would you help me answer a question?

01:02:20
Speaker 1: Yes?

01:02:20
Speaker 2: Okay? This is host and guest, I come to you on this day on my hands and knees and beg for your help. How do I start my own psychotherapy business without going bankrupt? I no longer to wish my boss's wealth as she takes a hefty percentage of my income and claims there's no budget for a raise. Love Anonymous. Wait, why don't we pull cards for these questions? Oh, that's a good idea. Let me pull a pull this top one. Yes, okay, this is a good start to this person's answer, and hopefully this okay? Oh do you turn it over? Yeah? Let's oh okay, we have the tower, okay Anonymous. Anonymous Anonymous wants to start a psycho therapy business with outgoing bankrupt.

01:03:07
Speaker 3: You know what it's got. You can You're fully capable of doing that. But it is going to be a scary change for you. But you have to embrace the fear. And because the tower represents a shake up, a change, there's anxiety there. I think that the anxiety of the bankruptcy is holding you back from making the leave to start your own business. Interesting, I don't know that you and I can say this is how you prevent any like bankruptcies from happening or something negative from happening.

01:03:41
Speaker 2: We can't. I feel like though your own therapy businesses are pretty easy. There's not a lot of overhead there. Yeah, what like, what are you spending You're not buying snacks we have? Yeah, like what are you spending money on? New outfits? A zoom proco zoom pro account?

01:04:01
Speaker 3: Sure, maybe some pillows, pillows and a lot of Kleenex and that's right, right.

01:04:09
Speaker 2: Well, I mean there are a lot of options here. I feel like this person is within this psychotherapy clinic or what is it a practice? Yeah, there are all of these vulnerable people. The boss obviously has a lot of clients. You have a lot of clients. There's a way that you can kind of just poach all of those people, oh kind of st you know, in each session, just let them know I'm not going to be practicing here anymore. Actually, the owner of the business is leaving town. And there's the client therapist privacy, so none of this will ever be shared outside of it. So you're can secretly kind of just off board as many clients as you want you can.

01:04:49
Speaker 3: You're like, if you don't come with me to my private practice, I'm going to break Hippa and I'm gonna.

01:04:55
Speaker 2: Tell you have everyone what you did.

01:05:02
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's I think. Yeah, you know what, I changed my mind. My advice is threatening of the skate and deny any wrongdoing.

01:05:14
Speaker 2: The amount of blackmailing that there's, I mean, the power this person has. Yeah, and also you can start spreading rumors about the owner of the business and run them out of business. So career ending scandal. If the career ending scandal's right, there's no end to this person's options. And then like, find a cheap little spot you can do outdoors, meet people in the park. Initially, absolutely, that's free.

01:05:39
Speaker 3: I don't know, I'm thinking the in and out near UCLA always has a lot of seating out inside of it. Yeah, I just think you just got to go for it. Don't be afraid of the consequences. Just do it, Nike, there we go.

01:05:57
Speaker 2: I feel like it's a perfect answer, and the Tower has kind of given the go ahead. Just embrace the shakeup. Embrace the shakeup, destroy your boss's business, break the chains, steal the Declaration of Independence, steel the Declaration of Independence. Ultimately, ultimately, yeah, it's kind of a national treasure. Just do it. Just do it. Well, Anonymous, good luck on your new business. You didn't have the guts to give us your name, so you should probably start there, you know, quit being such a wilting person. I don't know. There's only so much I can know. Anonymous sounds annoying, extremely annoying. I think Anonymous needs to look at themselves first before they start blaming their boss. You go get therapy, how about that? Yeah, just kidding. I wish you the best. I wish you the best. Well, we answered the question better than we could have possibly ever imagined. And oh that we have no more questions. I mean we could answer another if you'd like. We know, we don't have to know, we don't have We used to answer multiple but then it was like it's starting to get long. Yeah. I think people are like, I'm you know, I only have so much time in the day. Let me go.

01:07:16
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I mean, if we stayed this long, that's true. I feel like you should have something crazy at the end of every episode to honor the people who have listened.

01:07:25
Speaker 2: Like a secret, a personal thing about myself or yeah, just like, yeah, a little nugget that just for them. What would that possibly be? You sobbing just the sound of you down. Yeah, I held it. I held it together for an hour and a half and now I'm ready to just ball. Maybe like a fight with your boyfriend or something like field recordings of me fighting? Yeah recorded? Where where is the dish? I put it back at the same spot and you move it like you know. I always come across bad in these, always the aggressor in the fight looking for dishes. That's what it is.

01:08:08
Speaker 3: And then yeah, because that's how I am. I'm like mouthy and I just need a dominant man to like shut me in the face.

01:08:17
Speaker 1: Yeah.

01:08:18
Speaker 2: Well, listener, Sam is looking, I'm.

01:08:23
Speaker 3: Looking, And if you want a tear reading, just dear me. Reach out reach out to like twenty five dollars to it seven years. Do you do tarots online?

01:08:33
Speaker 2: I can. I don't. It's like it's something I want to do. Yeah, more of listener, reach out. I am very experienced reach out. I love having my taro red and I'm really excited for you. I'm excited for me too. Things are turning around. Things are turning around. Mark today, everyone marks Sam's words. Well, thank you for being here. I've had it's been very enlightening. I feel comfort moving into the future. Wow, God Bless America, God Bless America. I think that was the theme today. Listener, the podcast is over. You have to move on. Release me. I'm releasing you. Move on with your day. I love you, goodbye, I said, No Gifts is an exactly right production. It's produced by our dear friend Analise Nilson, and it's beautifully mixed by Ben Holliday. And we couldn't do it without our guest booker, Patrick Kottner. The theme song, of course, could only come from miracle worker Amy Man. You must follow the show on Instagram at I said no gifts. I don't want to hear any excuses. That's where you get to see pictures of all these gorgeous gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see pictures of the gifts? Livy?

01:09:54
Speaker 1: Did you hear Funa man myself fickly clear, But you're a guess to my home. You gotta come to me empty And I said, no guest, you're a presences presents enough I already had too much stuff, So how do you dare to surbey me