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Speaker 1: Buckle up, hold on tight. Here it is stob baby letter,

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Speaker 1: Thank you nephew. Subjects torn between my daddy and my man.

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Speaker 1: Here's Stephen Shirley. I am a thirty two year old

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Speaker 1: single mom of a sixteen year old and I still

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Speaker 1: live at home with my eighty four year old father.

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Speaker 1: I have never moved out because I never wanted my

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Speaker 1: daughter to suffer through any hardships or go without having

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Speaker 1: the things she wants and needs. My dad takes good

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Speaker 1: care of us, so that helps me save money. Here's

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Speaker 1: a problem. I've been dating a man for four years

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Speaker 1: and we have a great relationship, but he is pressuring

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Speaker 1: me to move in with him with my daughter. Financially,

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Speaker 1: I am not ready to start splitting the expenses with

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Speaker 1: him because I have a few small bills to pay

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Speaker 1: off first. My boyfriend keeps telling me that it's not

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Speaker 1: a problem because he will take care of all the bills.

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Speaker 1: I'm not married to him, and I need to be

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Speaker 1: sure if I can take care of myself and my

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Speaker 1: daughter if things don't work out with this man. There's

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Speaker 1: also a bigger issue that we need to work out

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Speaker 1: through before I move in with him. He has told

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Speaker 1: me that if we move in together, my dad will

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Speaker 1: not be able to come over to our place to visit.

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Speaker 1: He stated that my dad has always been rude to

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Speaker 1: him and makes him feel uncomfortable, and he will not

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Speaker 1: tolerate it in his own home. He also said, my

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Speaker 1: dad will not be welcome at our family gatherings and

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Speaker 1: outings now my dad, Now, my dad has not been

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Speaker 1: the kindest person to my boyfriend and my family, but

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Speaker 1: he is still my dad. I don't think I should

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Speaker 1: be considering moving in with my boyfriend if this is

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Speaker 1: something that we won't compromise on. It seems that he

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Speaker 1: may be a little too controlling, especially if he will

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Speaker 1: be paying all of the bills. What do you think

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Speaker 1: I should do? Stay or go? Stay? I think you

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Speaker 1: should stay with your dad or get your own place

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Speaker 1: if you can afford it. I mean, why would you

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Speaker 1: want to go somewhere with someone who feels this way

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Speaker 1: about your eighty four year old dad. You're not married

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Speaker 1: to this man. You didn't mention that he proposed to

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Speaker 1: you or anything. You're not engaged to him, and he

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Speaker 1: could be very much controlling. You've been with him for

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Speaker 1: four years now, you say, and he's promising that he'll

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Speaker 1: take care of your small bills, your few small bills

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Speaker 1: if you move in with him. I'm just thinking, in

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Speaker 1: four years, why why hasn't he helped you already? I mean,

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Speaker 1: that could be one of the reasons your dad doesn't

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Speaker 1: like him. I just say, you're a mother. You have

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Speaker 1: a sixteen year old daughter. You have to be an

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Speaker 1: example for her. I don't think you would once you're

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Speaker 1: your sixteen year old. I mean your daughter, you know,

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Speaker 1: when she becomes of age. Of course, in a situation

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Speaker 1: like this, I don't think there's any benefit for you

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Speaker 1: right now to move in with this guy. I mean,

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Speaker 1: you're thirty two years old, so you have to move

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Speaker 1: out one day soon, hopefully and be on your own.

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Speaker 1: But you should certainly want it to be with the

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Speaker 1: right guy, with the right situation, and and uh that

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Speaker 1: would be someone who would at least try to work

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Speaker 1: it out with your dad, I mean, not shut him

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Speaker 1: out in a vengeful way like this guy's doing. I

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Speaker 1: don't think he should turn your he should be turning

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Speaker 1: his back on your dad. That is your dad, after all.

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Speaker 1: I think you should stay where you are for now.

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Speaker 1: You've been saving money, save money to move out on

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Speaker 1: your own Steve. Um, this is a no goal for me.

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Speaker 1: This is an absolute no goal. Um, I don't, I don't.

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Speaker 1: I don't see what. You're thirty thirty two years old,

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Speaker 1: you got sixteen year old daughter you live with, You're

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Speaker 1: eighty four year old father. This man that came along,

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Speaker 1: you've been dating for four years. Now, if y'all gonna

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Speaker 1: move in, why don't y'all get married? He just wants

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Speaker 1: you to move in, right, I didn't see marriage on here.

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Speaker 1: You're right, And then you stay with your father because

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Speaker 1: you didn't want your daughter to suffer, and your father

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Speaker 1: takes get care of you in four years. I agree

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Speaker 1: with Shirley. This dude ain't helped you in four years

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Speaker 1: with these little bills. Damn. I mean most men. I'm sorry, man,

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Speaker 1: but if you're listening as a man and you're talking

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Speaker 1: a man, I ain't gonna help her with her bills.

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Speaker 1: Well you don't have to, But can I tell you

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Speaker 1: something technically we're supposed to. I don't know where this

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Speaker 1: got lost in the good old days, but it's obviously

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Speaker 1: lost because you all get together now and want to

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Speaker 1: keep everything separate. You join together with a person to

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Speaker 1: become one. If you don't want to become one. Quit

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Speaker 1: joining with these damn people. Damn that is dude down

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Speaker 1: here wants you to pull up ranks. Then in here

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Speaker 1: he come with his funk ass. Don't tell you after Now,

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Speaker 1: your daddy didn't put it in all the hard work,

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Speaker 1: you and your daughter. Now when y'all get together, your

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Speaker 1: damn daddy can't come over here, can't come over to

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Speaker 1: our play. Is it? Dad been rude to him? Shelley

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Speaker 1: hit it on the head. She didn't, She said, your

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Speaker 1: daddy's because let me explain something to you. Eighty foe, No,

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Speaker 1: eighty four year old man. He knows some stuff. He

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Speaker 1: got a feeling about your boyfriend. First of all four

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Speaker 1: years of coming through that he don't like to do

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Speaker 1: because he know he ain't about nothing because he eighty

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Speaker 1: four and he know how he should be active and

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Speaker 1: he ain't seeing that. So now he don't like him.

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Speaker 1: Eighty folk knows something you don't, and it's something about

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Speaker 1: this boy he don't like. And he ain't gonna turn

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Speaker 1: his daughter and his little princess over to these dude

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Speaker 1: that's what he don't like him. Now, your boyfriend, no,

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Speaker 1: he don't like him, and he feel uncomfortable with him

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Speaker 1: not liking him. Now, he don't want him over at

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Speaker 1: the house because he said he make him feel uncomfortable

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Speaker 1: when he comes. You know why he make him feel

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Speaker 1: uncomfortable because he's shady and old dudes know it, and

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Speaker 1: they ain't in to play that game with you in

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Speaker 1: the house. He said your dad would not be welcome

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Speaker 1: at our family gatherings and outings. Hey, man, your daddy

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Speaker 1: eighty four. This dude can't pull his man who had

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Speaker 1: pants up a little bit tighter for however long your

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Speaker 1: daddy got left and at least just be cordial to

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Speaker 1: the man. He might not be the greatest to you,

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Speaker 1: but but he might not be the greatest to him,

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Speaker 1: but to you and that girl, he'd been y'all's everything.

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Speaker 1: And if he can't honor and respect the fact that

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Speaker 1: this man then lived eighty four years and then took

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Speaker 1: care of you when obviously you had the baby at sixteen,

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Speaker 1: he put you out, he embraced you. Come on, girl,

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Speaker 1: I got you and huh, now, man, this is not

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Speaker 1: the dude and he just want to move you in.

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Speaker 1: You're scared to go, And the reason you're scared to

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Speaker 1: go because you don't feel secure with him. Oh that's right,

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Speaker 1: you don't feel secure with this guy. Man, it's this

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Speaker 1: strawberry got letter going this smooth. You know why, because

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Speaker 1: JA here insecure. I just felt like, you know, no time.

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Speaker 1: It just you know, I've been doing this strawberry letter

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Speaker 1: for years with Shelley. We just be doing it. Her response,

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Speaker 1: my response, and all of a sudden I noticed all

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Speaker 1: my damn response. I gotta stop and address something. Hold

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Speaker 1: on a bit of black bound. Get part two of

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Speaker 1: your response. Thirty two year old woman got a sixteen

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Speaker 1: year old baby, been living at home with an eighty

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Speaker 1: four year old father because she didn't want to move out,

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Speaker 1: because she wanted her daughter to suffer. My dad take

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Speaker 1: good care of him, so that helps her save the

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Speaker 1: money problems she got. She'd been dating this man for

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Speaker 1: four years. She said, they got a great relationship. But

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Speaker 1: he's pressuring me to move in with him with my daughter. Now.

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Speaker 1: The ladies say she ain't ready to do that financially

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Speaker 1: because she because she ain't ready to start splitting expenses

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Speaker 1: with him, because she got a few small bills to

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Speaker 1: pay off. And my boyfriend keep telling her dad ain't

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Speaker 1: no problem. See what's gonna make it a difference for you. Now,

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Speaker 1: you could have been helping this girl with her financial problem,

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Speaker 1: but you didn't. Now you're gonna come move in and

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna help you. See, this is a dude that

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Speaker 1: always wants something for something, So you gotta look at

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Speaker 1: what this is. And your father, he hadn't told you

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Speaker 1: that he don't want that y're eighty four, You old

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Speaker 1: daddy to come nowhere near his house. He ain't welcome.

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Speaker 1: He can't come in there because he made him feel uncomfortable.

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Speaker 1: You know why, they're eighty four year old man make

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Speaker 1: it feel uncomfortable because eighty four, No, eighty four knows

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Speaker 1: some things. And he hadn't read this dude, and he

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Speaker 1: don't like the way head. He ain't got enough sens

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Speaker 1: to honor the fact that this is your a for

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Speaker 1: your old daddy. And how much ever longer he got,

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Speaker 1: at least let y'all have y'all time together. But that

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Speaker 1: don't suit what he want. So his standar trifling, non compromising,

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Speaker 1: self centered. He won't all it go his way. Well

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Speaker 1: that's not how it works. So now you even said

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Speaker 1: your dad ain't been the kindest person to your boyfriend

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Speaker 1: because your daddy. No. Now, I don't think I should

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Speaker 1: be considering moving in with my boyfriend. And this is

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Speaker 1: something that he won't compromise on. You shouldn't. So now

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Speaker 1: you can't have relationship with your daddy who has always

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Speaker 1: had his arms open to you and your daughter to

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Speaker 1: have relationship, and this dude wants you to sever that relationship.

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Speaker 1: Who wants that to happen? Man? What decent man? So

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Speaker 1: you got to ask yourself a couple of questions about

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Speaker 1: your boyfriend. Why won't he do anything to make me happy?

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Speaker 1: You've been for four years? Why don't he marry you?

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Speaker 1: Why don't he help you with your bills? Now? What

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Speaker 1: is it about him that your daddy know that he

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Speaker 1: don't like about it? Now? Why is it he don't

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Speaker 1: want your daddy over to the house no more? And

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Speaker 1: don't want your daddy coming to no family gatherers? This

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Speaker 1: is eighty four year old man that's been holding the

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Speaker 1: family down his entire adult male life. Now hit this dude. Come,

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Speaker 1: this is not a good relationship to get into. If

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Speaker 1: I were you, I would say no. And if he can't,

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Speaker 1: at least treat your father DC. Even if your father

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Speaker 1: is a little rude. He old. So it's okay, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you get a pass. Yeah, I'm tell you right now,

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Speaker 1: you're lucky. Wasn't my daddy slick Harvey. Let me explain

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Speaker 1: something to you. My father man, he didn't something about

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Speaker 1: see old duds at their house. They don't gonna play.

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Speaker 1: They don't change nothing that their house. Tommy, your daddy

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Speaker 1: was the same way. This is his house. My daddy

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Speaker 1: was the same way. This is his house. Come in

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Speaker 1: here fixing nothing for you. If he don't like you,

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Speaker 1: you're gonna find out about it if you come in

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Speaker 1: his house. I had a friend of mine that my

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Speaker 1: daddy didn't like. He couldn't come past the kitchen. What

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Speaker 1: do you mean, Jeffrey Overhill, jeff stay there by that

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Speaker 1: Doughey could make it in. No, Jeffrey could not come

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Speaker 1: in my house because you know we're a little small house.

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Speaker 1: You come through the back door. When you open the

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Speaker 1: door to refrigerator, you could touch refrigerator when you open

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Speaker 1: the door to the left and behind it. I mean

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Speaker 1: you could touch the stove to the left and refrigerator

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Speaker 1: was behind the door. When Jeffrey come in, he come

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Speaker 1: in the kitchen, he could shut the door. Couldn't hangers

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Speaker 1: ass out there kitchen because he ain't like Jeffrey. He's

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Speaker 1: still oh okay, yeah, my dad had or somebody like that.

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Speaker 1: He ain't like one of my potts. He always get

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Speaker 1: my pot to two spoons, say click these spoons together,

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Speaker 1: and and and you know, my friend be like, what, mister,

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Speaker 1: what I'm doing this? I didn't know where you had

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Speaker 1: my damn high keeps the spoon click, keep them keep

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Speaker 1: clicking them damn spoon right there. I bet I better

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Speaker 1: hear them spoons every time I'm walking here. Old school

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Speaker 1: is just funny, isn't it. Jeffrey Gil stayed by the

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Speaker 1: damn dog. I'm talking about maybe if four friends come over,

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Speaker 1: Jeffrey come in and he knew, you know, my friend

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Speaker 1: laugh at eight? Gil, stay there, stay doren, mister Harvey here,

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Speaker 1: I'm right here. Hey, mister Harvey. How miss Harvey? Hey,

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Speaker 1: mitter you stay your ass by that though we're being

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Speaker 1: there for ten minutes, they'd be waiting, know me anything.

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Speaker 1: He could not come past that dope. Man. Don't walk

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Speaker 1: past in frigerator. That was this mark like Jeffrey's parents.

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Speaker 1: Did they know his parents? No? No, Jeffrey Jeffrey lived

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Speaker 1: one hundred fourteen. My dad ain't talking nobody over over there.

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Speaker 1: You know, we don't go far a man. My daddy

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Speaker 1: was clear, we want twelve street people. We want twelve

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Speaker 1: street pick. We don't go there one fourteen. I don't

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Speaker 1: know what they're doing round bike over there. You can

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Speaker 1: go over there, but there ain't me, nobody, Mama, dad

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Speaker 1: over there. I don't know them. People don't know what

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Speaker 1: they're doing over there. That's funny. It's the truth. They

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Speaker 1: had us. We don't go around now. We're one hundred

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Speaker 1: twelfth street people were hundred twelve streets people. I know

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Speaker 1: the I know how they keep the yard. I know

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Speaker 1: how the garbage can look. I know when they put

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Speaker 1: sent the trash out on the curve. I know these people. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't like what they garbage can't look over they

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Speaker 1: all being at all up and here the hell of

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Speaker 1: a reason, not to lack of fam way, your damn

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Speaker 1: garbage can't trade. They got dance on they can. They

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Speaker 1: ain't got no ain't got no lead what they lead?

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Speaker 1: All right, listen, guys, we you can email us or

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Speaker 1: instagram us your thoughts on today's Strawberry letter. We gotta

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Speaker 1: get out of people bas your damn garbage. Can't. Steve

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Speaker 1: Harvey FM, You're listening show,