WEBVTT - Anxiety: The Missing Conversation (Ireland Baldwin recap) 0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:04.120 Hey, what's up, and welcome to Let's Red Table that. 0:00:04.480 --> 0:00:07.280 I am Karra Presley and I am Tracy t Row 0:00:07.640 --> 0:00:09.639 one of the Red Table Talk o g s, and 0:00:09.720 --> 0:00:13.240 we represent all of the o G s. We are 0:00:13.320 --> 0:00:19.000 excited about Let's red table back. Listen. I'm very excited 0:00:19.120 --> 0:00:21.640 not just for Red Table Talk, but for let's red 0:00:21.720 --> 0:00:26.759 table that. We're excited to have these conversations because Tracy, 0:00:26.880 --> 0:00:28.920 you and I have been having these conversations for the 0:00:29.000 --> 0:00:32.239 last four years. Indeed, we have Cara, we have had 0:00:32.280 --> 0:00:35.280 these conversations. You have your rb A group, which is 0:00:35.760 --> 0:00:39.760 you know, super huge, which is wonderful representing r b A, 0:00:39.920 --> 0:00:42.720 and I have Memphis Sister Friends, which is the smaller 0:00:42.760 --> 0:00:45.280 of the Red Table Talk groups, still small but mighty. 0:00:45.560 --> 0:00:48.040 We've been talking and having meet ups and doing all 0:00:48.040 --> 0:00:51.000 the successful things in these streets and now we're gonna 0:00:51.040 --> 0:00:54.520 bring it to your heart radio airways. It's just great 0:00:54.560 --> 0:00:57.480 to have this type of opportunity to bring the real 0:00:57.560 --> 0:01:00.320 discussion to the real red table talk. Say, and so 0:01:00.880 --> 0:01:05.000 let's red table that listen. Are three favorite ladies Jada again, 0:01:05.160 --> 0:01:08.600 and we'll talk about anxiety with and if we know 0:01:08.680 --> 0:01:11.480 y'all listen to it. By now Kim Bay Singer and 0:01:11.600 --> 0:01:15.959 her daughter Ireland Baldwin, who she shares with ex husband 0:01:16.040 --> 0:01:18.840 Alec Baldwin. They had a lot to discuss tracy. Are 0:01:18.840 --> 0:01:21.280 we right? There was a lot in this episode. First 0:01:21.319 --> 0:01:24.480 of all, I would like to just acknowledge how I 0:01:24.520 --> 0:01:27.560 am so grateful that there's a platform for people to 0:01:27.600 --> 0:01:32.160 talk about anxiety, because it is so stigmatized, and we're gonna, 0:01:32.280 --> 0:01:35.280 you know, have an opportunity to do some specific recaps 0:01:35.319 --> 0:01:39.240 on the show, but I am grateful that not just 0:01:39.520 --> 0:01:43.320 mother and daughter, but them together, they were faces for 0:01:43.360 --> 0:01:48.240 people who who identify and may feel like they have anxiety. 0:01:48.280 --> 0:01:50.880 And to know that if you are celebrity and you 0:01:50.920 --> 0:01:54.480 can come and talk in public without any shame, without 0:01:54.520 --> 0:01:57.880 any embarrassment, and really just offer your story to help 0:01:57.920 --> 0:02:00.480 someone else. I think there's so much power in that 0:02:00.680 --> 0:02:04.240 vulnerability and transparency. I hope that we're opening the doors 0:02:04.280 --> 0:02:07.320 for additional conversations where people right now, not just when 0:02:07.680 --> 0:02:10.840 emergencies come up or someone feels like I'm just this 0:02:10.919 --> 0:02:12.560 is too big of a thing to handle, and then 0:02:12.600 --> 0:02:14.840 of course the parents like, oh, I've I went through that, 0:02:14.919 --> 0:02:17.560 Like I wanted to be a conversation ahead of time, 0:02:17.680 --> 0:02:20.680 and this episode really shows us why we need to 0:02:20.840 --> 0:02:24.120 end the stigma associated just you are not talking about 0:02:24.320 --> 0:02:27.720 the fact our own experiences with anxiety, right, it removes 0:02:27.760 --> 0:02:30.200 some of the stigma from it. And it's great to 0:02:30.280 --> 0:02:33.600 start to have these types of conversations with our family 0:02:33.639 --> 0:02:36.480 members and our loved ones, so we can, you know, 0:02:36.520 --> 0:02:38.680 see our way through. As awkward as it is to say, 0:02:38.760 --> 0:02:40.799 mothers and daughters who want to actually talk, you know, 0:02:40.840 --> 0:02:43.400 I've seen so many situations where it's either awkward to 0:02:43.440 --> 0:02:46.720 talk or the mother and daughter are super closed, but 0:02:46.800 --> 0:02:48.680 even if they're really close, and times they don't talk 0:02:48.720 --> 0:02:51.200 about health things like sometimes it's just the fun aspects 0:02:51.200 --> 0:02:53.440 of life. We're just we're getting along in this moment. 0:02:53.480 --> 0:02:56.160 So to see them really connect and to see the 0:02:56.160 --> 0:02:59.360 connection with the fact that kim Or miss basing her, 0:02:59.440 --> 0:03:02.040 she did see it and her mom and there was 0:03:02.040 --> 0:03:04.320 nothing she could really do. She saw it in herself. 0:03:04.800 --> 0:03:07.200 She tried to do something, but then she saw to 0:03:07.280 --> 0:03:08.920 her daughter and there's like nothing you could do. She 0:03:09.000 --> 0:03:12.960 talked about how it was so difficult for her to 0:03:13.240 --> 0:03:17.880 see her daughter go through that experience because she knew 0:03:18.280 --> 0:03:21.960 from herself what she experienced. And then she saw it 0:03:22.000 --> 0:03:24.520 with her mom and you could just see the love 0:03:24.760 --> 0:03:27.720 between them, right, I mean, they were just loving on 0:03:27.760 --> 0:03:30.000 each other. And she said it just hurt her worse 0:03:30.040 --> 0:03:33.000 than anything that she could ever imagine to see Ireland 0:03:33.040 --> 0:03:36.120 going through that and like mother and daughter. It only 0:03:36.160 --> 0:03:38.240 makes sense when you think about it, that the parents 0:03:38.240 --> 0:03:41.520 with anxiety would have children with anxiety too, especially with 0:03:41.760 --> 0:03:44.880 Willow being thrust in the spotlight, having a completely different 0:03:44.920 --> 0:03:48.840 lifestyle and growing up with the pressure of being the 0:03:49.000 --> 0:03:52.640 children rather of celebrities like Willow and Ireland. Really it 0:03:52.640 --> 0:03:55.119 gives us an opportunity to talk about those kind of 0:03:55.280 --> 0:03:58.800 you know, external pressures that they you know, shout out 0:03:58.840 --> 0:04:01.200 to them being able to conne this as as young 0:04:01.240 --> 0:04:05.000 adults right like and sharing their experience of I was 0:04:05.040 --> 0:04:09.400 stressed because I think that's the disconnect between the regular 0:04:09.440 --> 0:04:11.520 part of the world and then the celebrity and lead 0:04:11.600 --> 0:04:15.560 up ruschelon like, oh they have money or access to resources, 0:04:15.560 --> 0:04:18.599 they don't have problems, and they absolutely do have a problem. 0:04:18.640 --> 0:04:23.599 Everybody has their own problems. It's time for us to 0:04:23.640 --> 0:04:28.080 hear from our amazing community. Our community is our backbone 0:04:28.200 --> 0:04:31.719 and we love to hear from you. We asked our community. 0:04:31.839 --> 0:04:35.279 How do you recognize and manage your anxiety? And here 0:04:35.320 --> 0:04:39.760 are some of your answers. Rebecca Allen says she literally 0:04:39.800 --> 0:04:43.240 has a card that says reads, It's only a moment 0:04:43.320 --> 0:04:49.800 and not a lifetime. I love that. I love that too. Meditation, medication, walking, 0:04:50.000 --> 0:04:54.200 guided breathing, music, and therapy. All of these answers came 0:04:54.240 --> 0:04:59.440 from our community members Blue Morrigan to Meka Cousins, Thompson, Shantis, Kramarti, Blackman, 0:04:59.640 --> 0:05:02.480 and cold Fields. Getting ice and placing it on your 0:05:02.520 --> 0:05:05.880 chest will help regulate your heart rate, slow your breathing 0:05:06.040 --> 0:05:11.200 and reduce anxiety. Nisha Hall says this helps her every time. 0:05:11.400 --> 0:05:16.680 Thank you, Nisha, Thank you, Nisha. Nonsha girl. We love 0:05:16.760 --> 0:05:18.840 these These suggestions are going to help other people as 0:05:18.880 --> 0:05:21.200 well as help us because clearly we're learning new things. 0:05:21.720 --> 0:05:23.680 We're going to take a quick break, but when we 0:05:23.760 --> 0:05:26.760 get back, we'll be joined by two fellow Red Table 0:05:26.800 --> 0:05:37.800 Talk community members. Today we are bringing to fellow Red 0:05:37.839 --> 0:05:41.799 Table Talk community members to the virtual Red Table. I'm 0:05:41.880 --> 0:05:45.599 so happy to welcome Jewel Princess Johnson. Princess was born 0:05:45.640 --> 0:05:49.680 and raised in Richmond, Virginia, Richmond, where she currently resides 0:05:50.000 --> 0:05:52.840 and runs her own business. She hosts events like the 0:05:52.920 --> 0:05:56.279 Down in the Dungeon Erotica Show and other open mics. 0:05:56.480 --> 0:06:00.960 Princesses here because she, like Ireland, Kim and so many others, 0:06:01.240 --> 0:06:04.520 lives with anxiety, which is something she realized after she 0:06:04.640 --> 0:06:07.680 was pregnant with her son and she started having trouble sleeping, 0:06:07.720 --> 0:06:10.960 at one point staying up for four days at a time. 0:06:11.480 --> 0:06:14.880 So thank you, Princess for coming on to share with us. 0:06:14.920 --> 0:06:18.320 Thank you for having me, Frances welcome. Also joining us 0:06:18.440 --> 0:06:22.320 is Jada M. Thomas from Tuscaloosa, Alabama. Jada is a 0:06:22.360 --> 0:06:25.880 twenty four year old business owner of Black Tap Society 0:06:26.000 --> 0:06:30.400 or BTS, which is an upscale mobile beverage service. How 0:06:30.400 --> 0:06:33.120 about that. We bited Jada to come because she also 0:06:33.279 --> 0:06:38.000 understands navigating life and running a business with anxiety. But 0:06:38.080 --> 0:06:41.080 she has also been able to discover some coping methods. 0:06:41.360 --> 0:06:44.240 So we're excited for you, Jada, to share your story 0:06:44.560 --> 0:06:47.839 and some of those methods with us. We are always 0:06:47.839 --> 0:06:50.800 here for a method, right car, Yes, Jada, welcome to 0:06:51.000 --> 0:06:54.200 Let's red table. That thank you for having me. So 0:06:54.360 --> 0:07:02.839 excited to be here. We're gonna start things off with 0:07:02.880 --> 0:07:05.440 our weight what segment wait what. This is the part 0:07:05.480 --> 0:07:07.680 of the show where we're gonna reveal which moments made 0:07:07.720 --> 0:07:11.880 us pause, rewind, listen again, and just say wait what 0:07:11.880 --> 0:07:15.000 what happened? There were several moments. One of our first 0:07:15.040 --> 0:07:16.920 is the part where Will shared that her mom had 0:07:16.960 --> 0:07:21.040 been really pressing down her anxiety. I mean for years, okay, Will, 0:07:21.040 --> 0:07:23.240 I was able to really help her mom realized that 0:07:23.320 --> 0:07:26.480 and what she was actually experiencing for those many years 0:07:26.640 --> 0:07:30.320 was really anxiety. Really recently we had to talk and 0:07:30.360 --> 0:07:34.480 she was like, I never knew that I actually experienced 0:07:34.480 --> 0:07:37.120 anxiety and she was pushing it down and pushing it 0:07:37.120 --> 0:07:39.440 down for so many years. How do you guys feel 0:07:39.480 --> 0:07:41.520 about that? Do you ever noticed somebody and be like, girl, 0:07:41.560 --> 0:07:43.760 that's anxiety. I love that. I had to tell my 0:07:43.800 --> 0:07:46.440 mom my mom was in the hospital some years ago, 0:07:46.760 --> 0:07:50.360 and actually, you know you're you're feeling anxious from being 0:07:50.400 --> 0:07:52.840 in hospital anyway. But after we had already she had 0:07:52.840 --> 0:07:55.280 been diagnosed, we had a prognosis, there were still and 0:07:55.360 --> 0:07:58.200 I was like, Mom, this is anxiety, and like she 0:07:58.280 --> 0:08:00.200 was like, no, Tracy, I don't, I don't do you 0:08:00.200 --> 0:08:02.160 mean I don't have anxiety? You know, she's a baby 0:08:02.200 --> 0:08:04.640 boomer so they're tough, and I was like, no, this 0:08:04.720 --> 0:08:06.640 is it, this is what you have. We talked a 0:08:06.680 --> 0:08:09.040 little bit about it, and she was able to identify 0:08:09.160 --> 0:08:12.400 it and was willing to even try to take not 0:08:12.560 --> 0:08:14.720 a medicine that builds in your system, but something that 0:08:14.720 --> 0:08:17.040 would give her immediate relief. And so she tried it 0:08:17.160 --> 0:08:19.160 and it was effective for her. And so I was 0:08:19.200 --> 0:08:21.600 so grateful that we were able to have that conversation. 0:08:21.840 --> 0:08:24.200 But it was because I shared with her that I 0:08:24.280 --> 0:08:26.920 had anxiety and that I was able to identify in 0:08:27.040 --> 0:08:30.040 her what I had. But I loved that Jada was 0:08:30.080 --> 0:08:33.720 able to identify that she could see in her daughter, 0:08:34.040 --> 0:08:37.240 and that helped her acknowledge and reveal and understand that 0:08:37.280 --> 0:08:41.720 she was having anxiety. So now Ireland said something about modeling, 0:08:42.080 --> 0:08:45.800 She said, it ruined my brain. Do you think that 0:08:46.080 --> 0:08:50.200 coming into modeling, that whole world just sparked a little 0:08:50.240 --> 0:08:53.559 bit more of that anxiety, just through a different perspective, 0:08:53.880 --> 0:08:57.400 through my brain. All the comparisons her body and ability 0:08:57.640 --> 0:09:02.520 fed into her anxiety been more. This was a white 0:09:02.520 --> 0:09:05.960 what because how many times have we talked about and 0:09:06.080 --> 0:09:11.520 seen models being held to some unbelievable, unrealistic standard, right, 0:09:11.640 --> 0:09:14.079 and that you think about for her to say it 0:09:14.280 --> 0:09:16.880 ruined my brain, it was a weight. What what do 0:09:16.960 --> 0:09:20.520 y'all think? It's like, here's your brain regularly, here's your 0:09:20.520 --> 0:09:25.520 brain on anxiety and then cue the egg and the 0:09:25.559 --> 0:09:29.440 frying pans from because I swear that's what it is. 0:09:30.360 --> 0:09:35.440 Come on, that's dug. Yeah. I think it was brave 0:09:35.679 --> 0:09:38.000 just for her to admit that, because you look at 0:09:38.040 --> 0:09:41.440 like models and people who have like their lives under 0:09:41.480 --> 0:09:44.080 a microscope as people who have like a perfect life, 0:09:44.320 --> 0:09:47.360 and so I think it was that she would admit 0:09:47.400 --> 0:09:50.200 that it ruined her brain. But what's so interesting about that, 0:09:50.280 --> 0:09:52.560 Just like when social media now there's so many people 0:09:52.840 --> 0:09:56.840 who are having those same experiences and they're not necessarily models, right, 0:09:56.920 --> 0:09:59.880 and so like how many other people feel like Ireland 0:10:00.480 --> 0:10:04.440 in the case like this exposure or this microsoper, these 0:10:04.440 --> 0:10:07.160 eyes are essentially like ruining me behind closed doors. So 0:10:07.200 --> 0:10:09.520 it likes and all those things like seeing glamorous, but 0:10:09.640 --> 0:10:12.360 like how many of those people like suffering in silence 0:10:12.400 --> 0:10:15.200 off of TikTok or off of Instagram or off for Twitter. 0:10:15.280 --> 0:10:18.120 So it was just like great to see someone admit 0:10:18.360 --> 0:10:23.240 how fame and notoriety also can ruin you. I agree 0:10:23.280 --> 0:10:24.920 with you. I think she was brave to say that. 0:10:30.200 --> 0:10:35.360 I don't. Let's jump into I mean, what did you guys? 0:10:35.640 --> 0:10:37.800 What did you both think of the episode? It was 0:10:37.960 --> 0:10:42.440 refreshing to see younger people be open and honest about 0:10:42.520 --> 0:10:47.160 struggling with anxiety. And I'm always refreshed when I see 0:10:47.240 --> 0:10:52.280 anyone have honest, taboo conversations. So one thing about that, 0:10:52.360 --> 0:10:55.280 but so that was pretty dope was that you have 0:10:55.440 --> 0:10:59.480 the parents to child dynamic, friend to friend dynamic. I 0:10:59.480 --> 0:11:01.839 mean it kind of opened up different avenues. So I 0:11:02.000 --> 0:11:04.760 was saying, you know, I was interested, right, Awesome, that's true. 0:11:04.800 --> 0:11:07.200 There was a full spectrum of of sharing there, which 0:11:07.240 --> 0:11:10.920 is great. When you told me that you actually do 0:11:11.000 --> 0:11:15.560 experience anxiety, that changed my life. Yeah, because my best friends. 0:11:15.600 --> 0:11:18.800 So what can I say? I love Jaya? What about you? 0:11:18.880 --> 0:11:21.360 What did you think about the episode? I really enjoyed 0:11:21.400 --> 0:11:24.520 the episode, and I really appreciated seeing Ireland and her 0:11:24.559 --> 0:11:27.760 mom talked about anxiety. And I know those are conversations 0:11:27.760 --> 0:11:30.000 I had with my mom when I got older. But 0:11:30.280 --> 0:11:33.280 just thinking about if we could have had those conversations 0:11:33.440 --> 0:11:35.439 when I was younger, or when I started to show 0:11:35.480 --> 0:11:38.480 like different signs of being anxious, how you know, farther 0:11:38.559 --> 0:11:40.800 up we would be. So it's really great to see 0:11:41.160 --> 0:11:43.760 a mom and daughter be able to be open. My 0:11:43.800 --> 0:11:46.160 mom and I have a similar relationship. Were extremely close 0:11:46.240 --> 0:11:48.280 and like she's my crutch and I'm her cut and 0:11:48.280 --> 0:11:50.280 so it kind of showed me more ways I can 0:11:50.320 --> 0:11:53.720 support home and then with me sharing the episode with her, 0:11:53.760 --> 0:11:55.800 how she could support me. So it was a really 0:11:55.800 --> 0:11:58.520 great episode. That's great. I only talked about how she 0:11:58.640 --> 0:12:01.960 had anxiety since she was twelve. I didn't really want 0:12:01.960 --> 0:12:04.240 to call it anxiety for a long time because I 0:12:04.280 --> 0:12:07.400 think it kind of makes you feel weak, It makes 0:12:07.400 --> 0:12:10.080 you feel like you're put in a box. So it's 0:12:10.240 --> 0:12:12.040 I think I've had it my whole life, since I 0:12:12.120 --> 0:12:14.760 was a kid. I just don't think I was comfortable 0:12:14.880 --> 0:12:17.240 calling it what it was. And if you think about it, 0:12:17.320 --> 0:12:20.040 that is such a young age. But she was self 0:12:20.080 --> 0:12:23.880 aware enough to realize she had anxiety. So Jada, for you, 0:12:24.000 --> 0:12:26.560 when were you able to recognize what was happening to 0:12:26.679 --> 0:12:29.480 you as anxiety? But when I was younger, no, I 0:12:29.520 --> 0:12:33.320 just thought I was scary or shy, or maybe I 0:12:33.360 --> 0:12:36.280 didn't have like the same confidence that other kids. Um 0:12:36.280 --> 0:12:38.920 so it really took me like getting older. I really say, 0:12:38.920 --> 0:12:41.560 when I started working from home, I realized that I 0:12:41.600 --> 0:12:44.079 had anxiety. I never really wanted to admit that that 0:12:44.160 --> 0:12:47.280 kind of makes you feel weak. And so once I identify, okay, 0:12:47.320 --> 0:12:49.760 some of your anxious spells are the things that you 0:12:49.840 --> 0:12:52.320 do are normal, and you've been doing them for a 0:12:52.440 --> 0:12:55.880 very long time, I realized, uh, what was going on? 0:12:55.920 --> 0:12:58.160 So I wasn't as aware as she was at the child. 0:12:58.200 --> 0:13:00.800 It was me getting older and realized, hey, maybe you 0:13:01.320 --> 0:13:03.800 making up a lie about why you can't do something. 0:13:04.080 --> 0:13:07.560 Maybe you had anxiety then, or when you would play 0:13:07.600 --> 0:13:11.320 the background allow other people to do things, maybe that 0:13:11.440 --> 0:13:14.640 was some signs of that. So growing up I didn't 0:13:14.640 --> 0:13:16.959 realize that how old were you when you identify that? 0:13:17.160 --> 0:13:20.440 And so for me, anxiety in my life has looked 0:13:20.480 --> 0:13:24.240 like avoiding opportunities or talking myself out of opportunities. It 0:13:24.280 --> 0:13:26.160 wasn't until like I was older that I was really 0:13:26.200 --> 0:13:29.040 able to take on things and take on things confidently. 0:13:29.280 --> 0:13:32.240 Anxiety for me has looked like having to take blood 0:13:32.240 --> 0:13:35.120 pressure medicine and only twenty four, just from stressing and 0:13:35.200 --> 0:13:39.080 overthinking and worrying about things, I will be in a 0:13:39.160 --> 0:13:42.240 situationship or relationship, and I will go goes. You won't 0:13:42.240 --> 0:13:44.480 hear from me from for days on end. It's not 0:13:44.520 --> 0:13:48.360 always because that's something you did. Is just me getting overwhelmed, 0:13:48.480 --> 0:13:51.200 and instead of me communicating that with a person, I'll 0:13:51.240 --> 0:13:54.160 just completely cut people off. And Tracy knows that too, 0:13:54.320 --> 0:13:56.840 and I've become a lot better about that within the 0:13:56.880 --> 0:14:01.120 past year. And whatever i feel overwhelmed, extremely anxious, or 0:14:01.120 --> 0:14:03.720 I'm having a moment or a spell, which is what 0:14:03.960 --> 0:14:06.480 I call them, I immediately take a bath. I don't 0:14:06.520 --> 0:14:08.760 care if I'm taking a bath like three times already. 0:14:09.040 --> 0:14:11.360 I just know that's something that will call me down. 0:14:11.520 --> 0:14:14.920 But that's a laundry list of things. It looks different 0:14:14.960 --> 0:14:18.720 for different situations. But I can say with working from 0:14:18.800 --> 0:14:21.400 home and haven't just spen so much time with myself, 0:14:21.480 --> 0:14:23.480 I realized some of those things and now I'm a 0:14:23.480 --> 0:14:26.200 lot better. I love that you talked about water because 0:14:26.240 --> 0:14:30.200 I've seen several people now talk about anxiety openly and 0:14:30.240 --> 0:14:33.200 what they do, and some of them have water therapy. 0:14:33.320 --> 0:14:36.400 They put ice in a sink and submerged to their 0:14:36.440 --> 0:14:41.440 facing a saint. Have y'all tried that. I hear what 0:14:41.480 --> 0:14:43.920 you're saying I definitely have visited the river. I do, 0:14:44.000 --> 0:14:47.360 you know, add water into some type of my regimen, 0:14:47.480 --> 0:14:50.440 but I'm not necessarily dunk in my face. I used 0:14:50.440 --> 0:14:52.480 to eat ice that was really bad. What not water? 0:14:52.640 --> 0:14:54.360 Not quite the same thing. But I know that there 0:14:54.360 --> 0:14:57.320 are some people out there who can relate to eating ice. 0:14:57.520 --> 0:14:59.960 It was. It was bad, not car that's a whole 0:15:00.280 --> 0:15:03.880 new episode. You can't Pika, And yes I did this, 0:15:04.240 --> 0:15:07.560 but it was also a calming mechanism. It just depending 0:15:07.600 --> 0:15:09.880 on what season I was in. I have gone back 0:15:09.920 --> 0:15:13.040 to ice several times. We all know it's not great 0:15:13.080 --> 0:15:15.680 for you. But in one season it was iron deficiency. 0:15:15.720 --> 0:15:18.320 Another season it was I just needed something to help 0:15:18.320 --> 0:15:20.160 me calm down. And you gotta do what works for you, 0:15:20.360 --> 0:15:24.080 good or bad. That work for you. It did, okay, girl, 0:15:24.200 --> 0:15:27.720 Yes I was going through it okay mentally. You know, listen, 0:15:28.080 --> 0:15:30.920 y'all know this Mine will take you several ways, several places. 0:15:31.120 --> 0:15:35.000 And in that season that ice worked. Today, after having braces, 0:15:35.000 --> 0:15:38.120 that ain't it? What do you do now? And instead 0:15:38.160 --> 0:15:40.680 of ice, that's just a lot more meditation, a lot 0:15:40.680 --> 0:15:43.400 more meditation, a lot more centering myself. I think I've 0:15:43.440 --> 0:15:46.760 told you guys, my anxiety manifests physically, so I can 0:15:46.880 --> 0:15:48.600 really feel it in my stomach. Is like, is that 0:15:48.640 --> 0:15:51.480 anxiety or that intuition? Which one is it? But oh girl, 0:15:51.560 --> 0:15:54.600 that's the one, And I'm just gonna leave either way 0:15:54.680 --> 0:15:58.600 because I play right, because I don't even want to 0:15:58.680 --> 0:16:01.800 dissect really, so may have right. I can relate to 0:16:01.960 --> 0:16:05.080 it like affecting you physically. Oh yeah, that's how kind 0:16:05.080 --> 0:16:08.040 of when you got on the blood pressure medicine, because 0:16:08.040 --> 0:16:11.520 I would have like headaches so often, especially like when 0:16:11.560 --> 0:16:13.600 I was stressed. So when I would worry about something's 0:16:13.640 --> 0:16:17.920 like something isn't right. So anxiety for me also manifest that. 0:16:18.280 --> 0:16:21.120 It's usually a headache or I mentioned before, I think 0:16:21.160 --> 0:16:23.920 like the stomach ache. And it's just really important to 0:16:24.000 --> 0:16:27.040 also follow up on some of those things too. Meditation 0:16:27.160 --> 0:16:30.240 is powerful. It's like I used to get headaches too, 0:16:30.400 --> 0:16:32.720 But a headache in the back of your head is 0:16:32.760 --> 0:16:35.640 related to eye stream. A headache in the front of 0:16:35.680 --> 0:16:38.400 your head normally is related to some type of actual 0:16:38.480 --> 0:16:41.240 physical ailment, you know. So again, we just never know 0:16:41.240 --> 0:16:43.960 what people are going through, and things start to connect 0:16:44.040 --> 0:16:45.520 after a while. You next thing you know, you have 0:16:45.520 --> 0:16:48.040 a whole shutdown, you know, so we got to take 0:16:48.080 --> 0:16:50.520 care of ourselves. That's scary. It's hard to come to 0:16:50.520 --> 0:16:53.240 grips with it because there's such a stigma, a negative 0:16:53.240 --> 0:16:56.920 stigma associated with anxiety. Having anxiety or any thing that's 0:16:57.000 --> 0:17:01.400 quote unquote abnormal makes you different, less than and that's 0:17:01.440 --> 0:17:03.280 just not true. So I could see how you wouldn't 0:17:03.280 --> 0:17:06.840 want to tap into that awareness and then ownership of 0:17:06.920 --> 0:17:09.520 the acknowledgment of anxiety. I remember being in middle school 0:17:09.560 --> 0:17:11.639 and we went to like Six Flags. We were probably 0:17:11.640 --> 0:17:14.320 like thirteen or fourteen, and one of my friends didn't 0:17:14.320 --> 0:17:16.080 come on the trips, and we asked our teacher, you 0:17:16.119 --> 0:17:18.960 know why I and this person come, and she's like, oh, 0:17:19.119 --> 0:17:21.720 she said something about her anxiety. And so then like 0:17:21.760 --> 0:17:24.159 as a kid, we're like, oh, what anxiety. She neesn'ly 0:17:24.200 --> 0:17:26.080 want to come. But like, looking back, that was another 0:17:26.200 --> 0:17:29.720 moment of us being extremely insensitive. And then my friend 0:17:29.800 --> 0:17:33.040 probably didn't come on the Six Flags trip because she 0:17:33.040 --> 0:17:35.240 she didn't want to and she felt uncomfortable. And so 0:17:35.400 --> 0:17:37.680 to think about that and to look back on how 0:17:37.720 --> 0:17:42.480 that teacher reacted, it just shows conversations aren't right right right, 0:17:42.520 --> 0:17:44.639 And things happened in the in between moments I like 0:17:44.680 --> 0:17:46.720 to call it like those like that teacher making that 0:17:46.800 --> 0:17:48.960 comment probably changed the course of how you thought about 0:17:49.000 --> 0:17:50.960 anxiety the rest of your life. And I was gonna 0:17:50.960 --> 0:17:53.600 say specifically the fact that you thought, or you maybe 0:17:53.600 --> 0:17:56.240 didn't come to terms with, Okay, this is anxiety until 0:17:56.280 --> 0:17:58.440 you were older. I really think we just didn't have 0:17:58.520 --> 0:18:01.840 the language to the scribe exactly what that was, or 0:18:01.840 --> 0:18:04.600 maybe didn't want to use such words because I mean, 0:18:04.640 --> 0:18:06.720 how how often were they using your household? I've never 0:18:06.720 --> 0:18:08.639 heard anxiety in my household as far as where my 0:18:08.680 --> 0:18:10.920 parents live, you know what I mean, Like, never heard 0:18:10.960 --> 0:18:14.200 that growing up. So yeah, as an adult, it's definitely different. 0:18:14.400 --> 0:18:16.080 And in Jude, let's talk to you for a second. 0:18:16.119 --> 0:18:19.280 I know the anxiety manifests in everyone different, it just 0:18:19.320 --> 0:18:22.000 looks different for everyone. When did you first start to 0:18:22.080 --> 0:18:25.040 really realize, Okay, this is anxiety and I might need 0:18:25.080 --> 0:18:28.160 do something about it. I thought that I first came 0:18:28.200 --> 0:18:30.720 into contact with my anxiety when I was pregnant with 0:18:30.720 --> 0:18:34.080 my son. But the more and more I began to 0:18:34.200 --> 0:18:37.920 kind of like dissect the episode and dissect myself, I 0:18:38.000 --> 0:18:41.600 realized that this probably goes back far because when I 0:18:41.680 --> 0:18:44.440 was a kid. I always say that I'm a special kid. 0:18:44.680 --> 0:18:47.720 I can put together a thousand different scenarios to a 0:18:47.800 --> 0:18:51.280 story before you finished telling me it. I know fifty 0:18:51.480 --> 0:18:55.399 different movie endings to the same movie we're watching. And 0:18:55.520 --> 0:18:58.240 one of those theories I've come up with it's probably correct. 0:18:58.359 --> 0:19:01.600 And all of these are anxiety these things. But when 0:19:01.600 --> 0:19:04.760 I was a kid, we grew up really religious, y'all. 0:19:05.320 --> 0:19:08.720 And you know how you realize that numbers spelled words 0:19:08.840 --> 0:19:11.640 if you kind of move them around, and so eleven 0:19:11.680 --> 0:19:15.280 thirty four spelled hill on the clock if you flipped up. 0:19:17.520 --> 0:19:20.880 And like when I'm like thinking of this, even though 0:19:20.920 --> 0:19:22.919 it sounds small and kind of crazy, But when I 0:19:22.960 --> 0:19:25.320 was a kid, you guys, I would think myself into 0:19:25.400 --> 0:19:32.200 oblivion anytime I saw And you know that at least 0:19:32.280 --> 0:19:37.040 like a day, right, I don't understand. But the most 0:19:37.080 --> 0:19:39.439 recent times, or at least in my adult life, when 0:19:39.480 --> 0:19:42.359 I was able to articulate it and at least understanding 0:19:42.440 --> 0:19:44.520 what was going on, it was definitely when I was 0:19:44.560 --> 0:19:47.840 pregnant with my son. And it looks like sometimes panic attacks. 0:19:47.880 --> 0:19:51.240 I used to sweat profusely. I would eat all day 0:19:51.640 --> 0:19:55.280 with like a bottomless pit. Those are symptoms of my anxiety, 0:19:55.359 --> 0:19:59.439 a lack of sleep. Right, it just started to pop up, 0:19:59.600 --> 0:20:04.040 gaining wait and get tired. Right. Well, well, listen, you're 0:20:04.080 --> 0:20:06.399 a performer too, did it like did it manifest as 0:20:06.440 --> 0:20:08.280 well like in your performances or did you Is that 0:20:08.280 --> 0:20:11.080 where you found you? So? So what happens before my 0:20:11.119 --> 0:20:13.840 shows is that I have like a many kind of 0:20:13.920 --> 0:20:16.320 I don't call them paying attacks anymore, because you know, 0:20:16.359 --> 0:20:18.280 you recognize what's happening to you, what what's going on. 0:20:18.680 --> 0:20:20.520 But I call them a little sport, That's what I 0:20:20.560 --> 0:20:22.199 call them. And it could manifest, like I said, in 0:20:22.200 --> 0:20:24.480 my arms, like I would literally like sweat through my clothes, 0:20:24.760 --> 0:20:27.960 the breathing, the fast heartbeat, and then the sweaty palms. 0:20:28.080 --> 0:20:30.679 For me, I recognize that this is a part of 0:20:30.680 --> 0:20:34.080 my job now, and so in order for me to 0:20:34.200 --> 0:20:36.359 get to it, to do my job, I have to 0:20:36.440 --> 0:20:39.080 go through this and and mine is almost at this 0:20:39.119 --> 0:20:42.560 point now almost always temporary. So I don't think there 0:20:42.560 --> 0:20:44.840 will ever be a point where I don't have to 0:20:45.240 --> 0:20:47.199 suffer with I don't want to use your suffer with 0:20:47.560 --> 0:20:50.640 walk with anxiety. What I do say is that at 0:20:50.640 --> 0:20:53.320 this point in my life, it is much better managed, 0:20:53.440 --> 0:20:55.520 but it's it's temporary until I touched that Mike, and 0:20:55.560 --> 0:20:58.879 then I'm gonna go. Car I can tell you that listen, 0:20:59.000 --> 0:21:03.440 and you have to find what works for you, right. Yeah, 0:21:03.520 --> 0:21:06.159 gratefully speaking is not one of the things that causes 0:21:06.240 --> 0:21:09.159 me anxiety. But it's interesting to me that, you know, 0:21:09.280 --> 0:21:11.280 I think all of us have some measure of anxiety, 0:21:11.560 --> 0:21:14.679 the four of us that are connected today here talking 0:21:14.720 --> 0:21:17.359