Speaker 1: Hey, what's up, and welcome to Let's Red Table that.
Speaker 1: I am Karra Presley and I am Tracy t Row
Speaker 1: one of the Red Table Talk o g s, and
Speaker 1: we represent all of the o G s. We are
Speaker 1: excited about Let's red table back. Listen. I'm very excited
Speaker 1: not just for Red Table Talk, but for let's red
Speaker 1: table that. We're excited to have these conversations because Tracy,
Speaker 1: you and I have been having these conversations for the
Speaker 1: last four years. Indeed, we have Cara, we have had
Speaker 1: these conversations. You have your rb A group, which is
Speaker 1: you know, super huge, which is wonderful representing r b A,
Speaker 1: and I have Memphis Sister Friends, which is the smaller
Speaker 1: of the Red Table Talk groups, still small but mighty.
Speaker 1: We've been talking and having meet ups and doing all
Speaker 1: the successful things in these streets and now we're gonna
Speaker 1: bring it to your heart radio airways. It's just great
Speaker 1: to have this type of opportunity to bring the real
Speaker 1: discussion to the real red table talk. Say, and so
Speaker 1: let's red table that listen. Are three favorite ladies Jada again,
Speaker 1: and we'll talk about anxiety with and if we know
Speaker 1: y'all listen to it. By now Kim Bay Singer and
Speaker 1: her daughter Ireland Baldwin, who she shares with ex husband
Speaker 1: Alec Baldwin. They had a lot to discuss tracy. Are
Speaker 1: we right? There was a lot in this episode. First
Speaker 1: of all, I would like to just acknowledge how I
Speaker 1: am so grateful that there's a platform for people to
Speaker 1: talk about anxiety, because it is so stigmatized, and we're gonna,
Speaker 1: you know, have an opportunity to do some specific recaps
Speaker 1: on the show, but I am grateful that not just
Speaker 1: mother and daughter, but them together, they were faces for
Speaker 1: people who who identify and may feel like they have anxiety.
Speaker 1: And to know that if you are celebrity and you
Speaker 1: can come and talk in public without any shame, without
Speaker 1: any embarrassment, and really just offer your story to help
Speaker 1: someone else. I think there's so much power in that
Speaker 1: vulnerability and transparency. I hope that we're opening the doors
Speaker 1: for additional conversations where people right now, not just when
Speaker 1: emergencies come up or someone feels like I'm just this
Speaker 1: is too big of a thing to handle, and then
Speaker 1: of course the parents like, oh, I've I went through that,
Speaker 1: Like I wanted to be a conversation ahead of time,
Speaker 1: and this episode really shows us why we need to
Speaker 1: end the stigma associated just you are not talking about
Speaker 1: the fact our own experiences with anxiety, right, it removes
Speaker 1: some of the stigma from it. And it's great to
Speaker 1: start to have these types of conversations with our family
Speaker 1: members and our loved ones, so we can, you know,
Speaker 1: see our way through. As awkward as it is to say,
Speaker 1: mothers and daughters who want to actually talk, you know,
Speaker 1: I've seen so many situations where it's either awkward to
Speaker 1: talk or the mother and daughter are super closed, but
Speaker 1: even if they're really close, and times they don't talk
Speaker 1: about health things like sometimes it's just the fun aspects
Speaker 1: of life. We're just we're getting along in this moment.
Speaker 1: So to see them really connect and to see the
Speaker 1: connection with the fact that kim Or miss basing her,
Speaker 1: she did see it and her mom and there was
Speaker 1: nothing she could really do. She saw it in herself.
Speaker 1: She tried to do something, but then she saw to
Speaker 1: her daughter and there's like nothing you could do. She
Speaker 1: talked about how it was so difficult for her to
Speaker 1: see her daughter go through that experience because she knew
Speaker 1: from herself what she experienced. And then she saw it
Speaker 1: with her mom and you could just see the love
Speaker 1: between them, right, I mean, they were just loving on
Speaker 1: each other. And she said it just hurt her worse
Speaker 1: than anything that she could ever imagine to see Ireland
Speaker 1: going through that and like mother and daughter. It only
Speaker 1: makes sense when you think about it, that the parents
Speaker 1: with anxiety would have children with anxiety too, especially with
Speaker 1: Willow being thrust in the spotlight, having a completely different
Speaker 1: lifestyle and growing up with the pressure of being the
Speaker 1: children rather of celebrities like Willow and Ireland. Really it
Speaker 1: gives us an opportunity to talk about those kind of
Speaker 1: you know, external pressures that they you know, shout out
Speaker 1: to them being able to conne this as as young
Speaker 1: adults right like and sharing their experience of I was
Speaker 1: stressed because I think that's the disconnect between the regular
Speaker 1: part of the world and then the celebrity and lead
Speaker 1: up ruschelon like, oh they have money or access to resources,
Speaker 1: they don't have problems, and they absolutely do have a problem.
Speaker 1: Everybody has their own problems. It's time for us to
Speaker 1: hear from our amazing community. Our community is our backbone
Speaker 1: and we love to hear from you. We asked our community.
Speaker 1: How do you recognize and manage your anxiety? And here
Speaker 1: are some of your answers. Rebecca Allen says she literally
Speaker 1: has a card that says reads, It's only a moment
Speaker 1: and not a lifetime. I love that. I love that too. Meditation, medication, walking,
Speaker 1: guided breathing, music, and therapy. All of these answers came
Speaker 1: from our community members Blue Morrigan to Meka Cousins, Thompson, Shantis, Kramarti, Blackman,
Speaker 1: and cold Fields. Getting ice and placing it on your
Speaker 1: chest will help regulate your heart rate, slow your breathing
Speaker 1: and reduce anxiety. Nisha Hall says this helps her every time.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Nisha, Thank you, Nisha. Nonsha girl. We love
Speaker 1: these These suggestions are going to help other people as
Speaker 1: well as help us because clearly we're learning new things.
Speaker 1: We're going to take a quick break, but when we
Speaker 1: get back, we'll be joined by two fellow Red Table
Speaker 1: Talk community members. Today we are bringing to fellow Red
Speaker 1: Table Talk community members to the virtual Red Table. I'm
Speaker 1: so happy to welcome Jewel Princess Johnson. Princess was born
Speaker 1: and raised in Richmond, Virginia, Richmond, where she currently resides
Speaker 1: and runs her own business. She hosts events like the
Speaker 1: Down in the Dungeon Erotica Show and other open mics.
Speaker 1: Princesses here because she, like Ireland, Kim and so many others,
Speaker 1: lives with anxiety, which is something she realized after she
Speaker 1: was pregnant with her son and she started having trouble sleeping,
Speaker 1: at one point staying up for four days at a time.
Speaker 1: So thank you, Princess for coming on to share with us.
Speaker 1: Thank you for having me, Frances welcome. Also joining us
Speaker 1: is Jada M. Thomas from Tuscaloosa, Alabama. Jada is a
Speaker 1: twenty four year old business owner of Black Tap Society
Speaker 1: or BTS, which is an upscale mobile beverage service. How
Speaker 1: about that. We bited Jada to come because she also
Speaker 1: understands navigating life and running a business with anxiety. But
Speaker 1: she has also been able to discover some coping methods.
Speaker 1: So we're excited for you, Jada, to share your story
Speaker 1: and some of those methods with us. We are always
Speaker 1: here for a method, right car, Yes, Jada, welcome to
Speaker 1: Let's red table. That thank you for having me. So
Speaker 1: excited to be here. We're gonna start things off with
Speaker 1: our weight what segment wait what. This is the part
Speaker 1: of the show where we're gonna reveal which moments made
Speaker 1: us pause, rewind, listen again, and just say wait what
Speaker 1: what happened? There were several moments. One of our first
Speaker 1: is the part where Will shared that her mom had
Speaker 1: been really pressing down her anxiety. I mean for years, okay, Will,
Speaker 1: I was able to really help her mom realized that
Speaker 1: and what she was actually experiencing for those many years
Speaker 1: was really anxiety. Really recently we had to talk and
Speaker 1: she was like, I never knew that I actually experienced
Speaker 1: anxiety and she was pushing it down and pushing it
Speaker 1: down for so many years. How do you guys feel
Speaker 1: about that? Do you ever noticed somebody and be like, girl,
Speaker 1: that's anxiety. I love that. I had to tell my
Speaker 1: mom my mom was in the hospital some years ago,
Speaker 1: and actually, you know you're you're feeling anxious from being
Speaker 1: in hospital anyway. But after we had already she had
Speaker 1: been diagnosed, we had a prognosis, there were still and
Speaker 1: I was like, Mom, this is anxiety, and like she
Speaker 1: was like, no, Tracy, I don't, I don't do you
Speaker 1: mean I don't have anxiety? You know, she's a baby
Speaker 1: boomer so they're tough, and I was like, no, this
Speaker 1: is it, this is what you have. We talked a
Speaker 1: little bit about it, and she was able to identify
Speaker 1: it and was willing to even try to take not
Speaker 1: a medicine that builds in your system, but something that
Speaker 1: would give her immediate relief. And so she tried it
Speaker 1: and it was effective for her. And so I was
Speaker 1: so grateful that we were able to have that conversation.
Speaker 1: But it was because I shared with her that I
Speaker 1: had anxiety and that I was able to identify in
Speaker 1: her what I had. But I loved that Jada was
Speaker 1: able to identify that she could see in her daughter,
Speaker 1: and that helped her acknowledge and reveal and understand that
Speaker 1: she was having anxiety. So now Ireland said something about modeling,
Speaker 1: She said, it ruined my brain. Do you think that
Speaker 1: coming into modeling, that whole world just sparked a little
Speaker 1: bit more of that anxiety, just through a different perspective,
Speaker 1: through my brain. All the comparisons her body and ability
Speaker 1: fed into her anxiety been more. This was a white
Speaker 1: what because how many times have we talked about and
Speaker 1: seen models being held to some unbelievable, unrealistic standard, right,
Speaker 1: and that you think about for her to say it
Speaker 1: ruined my brain, it was a weight. What what do
Speaker 1: y'all think? It's like, here's your brain regularly, here's your
Speaker 1: brain on anxiety and then cue the egg and the
Speaker 1: frying pans from because I swear that's what it is.
Speaker 1: Come on, that's dug. Yeah. I think it was brave
Speaker 1: just for her to admit that, because you look at
Speaker 1: like models and people who have like their lives under
Speaker 1: a microscope as people who have like a perfect life,
Speaker 1: and so I think it was that she would admit
Speaker 1: that it ruined her brain. But what's so interesting about that,
Speaker 1: Just like when social media now there's so many people
Speaker 1: who are having those same experiences and they're not necessarily models, right,
Speaker 1: and so like how many other people feel like Ireland
Speaker 1: in the case like this exposure or this microsoper, these
Speaker 1: eyes are essentially like ruining me behind closed doors. So
Speaker 1: it likes and all those things like seeing glamorous, but
Speaker 1: like how many of those people like suffering in silence
Speaker 1: off of TikTok or off of Instagram or off for Twitter.
Speaker 1: So it was just like great to see someone admit
Speaker 1: how fame and notoriety also can ruin you. I agree
Speaker 1: with you. I think she was brave to say that.
Speaker 1: I don't. Let's jump into I mean, what did you guys?
Speaker 1: What did you both think of the episode? It was
Speaker 1: refreshing to see younger people be open and honest about
Speaker 1: struggling with anxiety. And I'm always refreshed when I see
Speaker 1: anyone have honest, taboo conversations. So one thing about that,
Speaker 1: but so that was pretty dope was that you have
Speaker 1: the parents to child dynamic, friend to friend dynamic. I
Speaker 1: mean it kind of opened up different avenues. So I
Speaker 1: was saying, you know, I was interested, right, Awesome, that's true.
Speaker 1: There was a full spectrum of of sharing there, which
Speaker 1: is great. When you told me that you actually do
Speaker 1: experience anxiety, that changed my life. Yeah, because my best friends.
Speaker 1: So what can I say? I love Jaya? What about you?
Speaker 1: What did you think about the episode? I really enjoyed
Speaker 1: the episode, and I really appreciated seeing Ireland and her
Speaker 1: mom talked about anxiety. And I know those are conversations
Speaker 1: I had with my mom when I got older. But
Speaker 1: just thinking about if we could have had those conversations
Speaker 1: when I was younger, or when I started to show
Speaker 1: like different signs of being anxious, how you know, farther
Speaker 1: up we would be. So it's really great to see
Speaker 1: a mom and daughter be able to be open. My
Speaker 1: mom and I have a similar relationship. Were extremely close
Speaker 1: and like she's my crutch and I'm her cut and
Speaker 1: so it kind of showed me more ways I can
Speaker 1: support home and then with me sharing the episode with her,
Speaker 1: how she could support me. So it was a really
Speaker 1: great episode. That's great. I only talked about how she
Speaker 1: had anxiety since she was twelve. I didn't really want
Speaker 1: to call it anxiety for a long time because I
Speaker 1: think it kind of makes you feel weak, It makes
Speaker 1: you feel like you're put in a box. So it's
Speaker 1: I think I've had it my whole life, since I
Speaker 1: was a kid. I just don't think I was comfortable
Speaker 1: calling it what it was. And if you think about it,
Speaker 1: that is such a young age. But she was self
Speaker 1: aware enough to realize she had anxiety. So Jada, for you,
Speaker 1: when were you able to recognize what was happening to
Speaker 1: you as anxiety? But when I was younger, no, I
Speaker 1: just thought I was scary or shy, or maybe I
Speaker 1: didn't have like the same confidence that other kids. Um
Speaker 1: so it really took me like getting older. I really say,
Speaker 1: when I started working from home, I realized that I
Speaker 1: had anxiety. I never really wanted to admit that that
Speaker 1: kind of makes you feel weak. And so once I identify, okay,
Speaker 1: some of your anxious spells are the things that you
Speaker 1: do are normal, and you've been doing them for a
Speaker 1: very long time, I realized, uh, what was going on?
Speaker 1: So I wasn't as aware as she was at the child.
Speaker 1: It was me getting older and realized, hey, maybe you
Speaker 1: making up a lie about why you can't do something.
Speaker 1: Maybe you had anxiety then, or when you would play
Speaker 1: the background allow other people to do things, maybe that
Speaker 1: was some signs of that. So growing up I didn't
Speaker 1: realize that how old were you when you identify that?
Speaker 1: And so for me, anxiety in my life has looked
Speaker 1: like avoiding opportunities or talking myself out of opportunities. It
Speaker 1: wasn't until like I was older that I was really
Speaker 1: able to take on things and take on things confidently.
Speaker 1: Anxiety for me has looked like having to take blood
Speaker 1: pressure medicine and only twenty four, just from stressing and
Speaker 1: overthinking and worrying about things, I will be in a
Speaker 1: situationship or relationship, and I will go goes. You won't
Speaker 1: hear from me from for days on end. It's not
Speaker 1: always because that's something you did. Is just me getting overwhelmed,
Speaker 1: and instead of me communicating that with a person, I'll
Speaker 1: just completely cut people off. And Tracy knows that too,
Speaker 1: and I've become a lot better about that within the
Speaker 1: past year. And whatever i feel overwhelmed, extremely anxious, or
Speaker 1: I'm having a moment or a spell, which is what
Speaker 1: I call them, I immediately take a bath. I don't
Speaker 1: care if I'm taking a bath like three times already.
Speaker 1: I just know that's something that will call me down.
Speaker 1: But that's a laundry list of things. It looks different
Speaker 1: for different situations. But I can say with working from
Speaker 1: home and haven't just spen so much time with myself,
Speaker 1: I realized some of those things and now I'm a
Speaker 1: lot better. I love that you talked about water because
Speaker 1: I've seen several people now talk about anxiety openly and
Speaker 1: what they do, and some of them have water therapy.
Speaker 1: They put ice in a sink and submerged to their
Speaker 1: facing a saint. Have y'all tried that. I hear what
Speaker 1: you're saying I definitely have visited the river. I do,
Speaker 1: you know, add water into some type of my regimen,
Speaker 1: but I'm not necessarily dunk in my face. I used
Speaker 1: to eat ice that was really bad. What not water?
Speaker 1: Not quite the same thing. But I know that there
Speaker 1: are some people out there who can relate to eating ice.
Speaker 1: It was. It was bad, not car that's a whole
Speaker 1: new episode. You can't Pika, And yes I did this,
Speaker 1: but it was also a calming mechanism. It just depending
Speaker 1: on what season I was in. I have gone back
Speaker 1: to ice several times. We all know it's not great
Speaker 1: for you. But in one season it was iron deficiency.
Speaker 1: Another season it was I just needed something to help
Speaker 1: me calm down. And you gotta do what works for you,
Speaker 1: good or bad. That work for you. It did, okay, girl,
Speaker 1: Yes I was going through it okay mentally. You know, listen,
Speaker 1: y'all know this Mine will take you several ways, several places.
Speaker 1: And in that season that ice worked. Today, after having braces,
Speaker 1: that ain't it? What do you do now? And instead
Speaker 1: of ice, that's just a lot more meditation, a lot
Speaker 1: more meditation, a lot more centering myself. I think I've
Speaker 1: told you guys, my anxiety manifests physically, so I can
Speaker 1: really feel it in my stomach. Is like, is that
Speaker 1: anxiety or that intuition? Which one is it? But oh girl,
Speaker 1: that's the one, And I'm just gonna leave either way
Speaker 1: because I play right, because I don't even want to
Speaker 1: dissect really, so may have right. I can relate to
Speaker 1: it like affecting you physically. Oh yeah, that's how kind
Speaker 1: of when you got on the blood pressure medicine, because
Speaker 1: I would have like headaches so often, especially like when
Speaker 1: I was stressed. So when I would worry about something's
Speaker 1: like something isn't right. So anxiety for me also manifest that.
Speaker 1: It's usually a headache or I mentioned before, I think
Speaker 1: like the stomach ache. And it's just really important to
Speaker 1: also follow up on some of those things too. Meditation
Speaker 1: is powerful. It's like I used to get headaches too,
Speaker 1: But a headache in the back of your head is
Speaker 1: related to eye stream. A headache in the front of
Speaker 1: your head normally is related to some type of actual
Speaker 1: physical ailment, you know. So again, we just never know
Speaker 1: what people are going through, and things start to connect
Speaker 1: after a while. You next thing you know, you have
Speaker 1: a whole shutdown, you know, so we got to take
Speaker 1: care of ourselves. That's scary. It's hard to come to
Speaker 1: grips with it because there's such a stigma, a negative
Speaker 1: stigma associated with anxiety. Having anxiety or any thing that's
Speaker 1: quote unquote abnormal makes you different, less than and that's
Speaker 1: just not true. So I could see how you wouldn't
Speaker 1: want to tap into that awareness and then ownership of
Speaker 1: the acknowledgment of anxiety. I remember being in middle school
Speaker 1: and we went to like Six Flags. We were probably
Speaker 1: like thirteen or fourteen, and one of my friends didn't
Speaker 1: come on the trips, and we asked our teacher, you
Speaker 1: know why I and this person come, and she's like, oh,
Speaker 1: she said something about her anxiety. And so then like
Speaker 1: as a kid, we're like, oh, what anxiety. She neesn'ly
Speaker 1: want to come. But like, looking back, that was another
Speaker 1: moment of us being extremely insensitive. And then my friend
Speaker 1: probably didn't come on the Six Flags trip because she
Speaker 1: she didn't want to and she felt uncomfortable. And so
Speaker 1: to think about that and to look back on how
Speaker 1: that teacher reacted, it just shows conversations aren't right right right,
Speaker 1: And things happened in the in between moments I like
Speaker 1: to call it like those like that teacher making that
Speaker 1: comment probably changed the course of how you thought about
Speaker 1: anxiety the rest of your life. And I was gonna
Speaker 1: say specifically the fact that you thought, or you maybe
Speaker 1: didn't come to terms with, Okay, this is anxiety until
Speaker 1: you were older. I really think we just didn't have
Speaker 1: the language to the scribe exactly what that was, or
Speaker 1: maybe didn't want to use such words because I mean,
Speaker 1: how how often were they using your household? I've never
Speaker 1: heard anxiety in my household as far as where my
Speaker 1: parents live, you know what I mean, Like, never heard
Speaker 1: that growing up. So yeah, as an adult, it's definitely different.
Speaker 1: And in Jude, let's talk to you for a second.
Speaker 1: I know the anxiety manifests in everyone different, it just
Speaker 1: looks different for everyone. When did you first start to
Speaker 1: really realize, Okay, this is anxiety and I might need
Speaker 1: do something about it. I thought that I first came
Speaker 1: into contact with my anxiety when I was pregnant with
Speaker 1: my son. But the more and more I began to
Speaker 1: kind of like dissect the episode and dissect myself, I
Speaker 1: realized that this probably goes back far because when I
Speaker 1: was a kid. I always say that I'm a special kid.
Speaker 1: I can put together a thousand different scenarios to a
Speaker 1: story before you finished telling me it. I know fifty
Speaker 1: different movie endings to the same movie we're watching. And
Speaker 1: one of those theories I've come up with it's probably correct.
Speaker 1: And all of these are anxiety these things. But when
Speaker 1: I was a kid, we grew up really religious, y'all.
Speaker 1: And you know how you realize that numbers spelled words
Speaker 1: if you kind of move them around, and so eleven
Speaker 1: thirty four spelled hill on the clock if you flipped up.
Speaker 1: And like when I'm like thinking of this, even though
Speaker 1: it sounds small and kind of crazy, But when I
Speaker 1: was a kid, you guys, I would think myself into
Speaker 1: oblivion anytime I saw And you know that at least
Speaker 1: like a day, right, I don't understand. But the most
Speaker 1: recent times, or at least in my adult life, when
Speaker 1: I was able to articulate it and at least understanding
Speaker 1: what was going on, it was definitely when I was
Speaker 1: pregnant with my son. And it looks like sometimes panic attacks.
Speaker 1: I used to sweat profusely. I would eat all day
Speaker 1: with like a bottomless pit. Those are symptoms of my anxiety,
Speaker 1: a lack of sleep. Right, it just started to pop up,
Speaker 1: gaining wait and get tired. Right. Well, well, listen, you're
Speaker 1: a performer too, did it like did it manifest as
Speaker 1: well like in your performances or did you Is that
Speaker 1: where you found you? So? So what happens before my
Speaker 1: shows is that I have like a many kind of
Speaker 1: I don't call them paying attacks anymore, because you know,
Speaker 1: you recognize what's happening to you, what what's going on.
Speaker 1: But I call them a little sport, That's what I
Speaker 1: call them. And it could manifest, like I said, in
Speaker 1: my arms, like I would literally like sweat through my clothes,
Speaker 1: the breathing, the fast heartbeat, and then the sweaty palms.
Speaker 1: For me, I recognize that this is a part of
Speaker 1: my job now, and so in order for me to
Speaker 1: get to it, to do my job, I have to
Speaker 1: go through this and and mine is almost at this
Speaker 1: point now almost always temporary. So I don't think there
Speaker 1: will ever be a point where I don't have to
Speaker 1: suffer with I don't want to use your suffer with
Speaker 1: walk with anxiety. What I do say is that at
Speaker 1: this point in my life, it is much better managed,
Speaker 1: but it's it's temporary until I touched that Mike, and
Speaker 1: then I'm gonna go. Car I can tell you that listen,
Speaker 1: and you have to find what works for you, right. Yeah,
Speaker 1: gratefully speaking is not one of the things that causes
Speaker 1: me anxiety. But it's interesting to me that, you know,
Speaker 1: I think all of us have some measure of anxiety,
Speaker 1: the four of us that are connected today here talking
Speaker 1: about and have some you know, so somewhere on the
Speaker 1: spectrum of anxiety. And it's interesting to me. Two princess
Speaker 1: that you mentioned you didn't want to say suffer with,
Speaker 1: but instead walk with. And I think that that comes
Speaker 1: along with some of the stigmas that we have. You
Speaker 1: think about, like your family and friends. How have you
Speaker 1: or have you ever had any experience with family and
Speaker 1: friends dismissing your anxiety much in the way that teacher
Speaker 1: did for that student going to six Flags and then
Speaker 1: telling you all you're fine, nothing's wrong, or you should
Speaker 1: just be okay. You know, Jada, have you had any
Speaker 1: experiences like that? Oh? Yeah, all the time. I mean,
Speaker 1: I think Tracy was like the very first person that
Speaker 1: I met that I could talk to about different things
Speaker 1: or issues and the response wasn't like, what's wrong with
Speaker 1: you or you're overreacting. She's always willing to listen and
Speaker 1: to the open. So throughout my life, whenever I've had
Speaker 1: any type of like anxious spells or I'm really bad
Speaker 1: about thinking about the negative things before they happen, I'm
Speaker 1: going through like every scenario of what possibly could go
Speaker 1: wrong before even getting to the action that I had
Speaker 1: to take first. And so of course with that, I've
Speaker 1: been told pretty much all my life that I'm dramatic
Speaker 1: or I'm an overthinker. I had moments when I've been
Speaker 1: out with friends and I've decided to just like up
Speaker 1: and leave just because sometimes being around a crowd of
Speaker 1: people can make me uneasy, or something small happens and
Speaker 1: I'm no longer feeling the vibe. And even with that,
Speaker 1: it's like, well, where are you going? Or why are
Speaker 1: you over reacting? Or you know how she is? And
Speaker 1: then how does that make you feel? Why do you
Speaker 1: like that? Sis? People don't understand though, right well, I
Speaker 1: used to feel like am I crazy or in my
Speaker 1: tripping or am I like hard to deal with? And
Speaker 1: then over time you start surrounding yourself with people who
Speaker 1: can treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
Speaker 1: And I think that was one part of the episode
Speaker 1: that I appreciate. Both you Know and Irelen were like, Okay,
Speaker 1: we removed ourselves from those toxic situations, from those toxic
Speaker 1: relationships that people who react the way we deserve. So
Speaker 1: like are like, now her boyfriend isn't an overreactor or
Speaker 1: treat her like he's going off the grid or anything.
Speaker 1: So to answer the question, can we just shout out
Speaker 1: her boyfriend her boyfriend? Because man said, I'm a rib
Speaker 1: with you to the hospital this past Christmas, I had
Speaker 1: a horrible anxiety attack and my boyfriend she's like, all right,
Speaker 1: let's go get the keys total, you know, and just
Speaker 1: getting to the hospital, breathing in the parking lot, I'm like,
Speaker 1: he's like, Okay, let's go home. You know. It's like
Speaker 1: making it not such a big deal, not making someone
Speaker 1: feel ashamed or embarrassed for what I'm caring in the moment.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm talking about. What do I need that support? Yeah, Princess,
Speaker 1: what about you? You mentioned not suffering with and to
Speaker 1: me that was a code for someone as giving you something.
Speaker 1: So how has your experience being with your family and friends.
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, we grew up in a church
Speaker 1: trying to God fix everything. I have very progressive parents.
Speaker 1: My father is alive, my mom is not. And when
Speaker 1: I say they're progressive, the joke I made when I
Speaker 1: said we churched for we paid for everything that was
Speaker 1: probably them fifteen years ago. Um, whereas today we're faced
Speaker 1: what I worked did kind of folks, you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. We were more of a God is one part,
Speaker 1: and utilizing the resources that God put on earth are
Speaker 1: the other parts. The human experience. Come on, I don't
Speaker 1: have any dismiss of anything about my feelings. I'm probably
Speaker 1: the woman I am today because my father unconditionally loved me,
Speaker 1: even in the times where he didn't understand. How beautiful
Speaker 1: is that. Yeah, I'm kind of open about my journey
Speaker 1: and social media, so I've had kind of kicked back
Speaker 1: from outsiders, and I mean, I got tough skin, and
Speaker 1: so their opinions never really mattered anyway. I can say
Speaker 1: that for the most part, I've had a pretty supportive village.
Speaker 1: I've always been open and honest enough to admit something
Speaker 1: is wrong, and because of that, I've always been open
Speaker 1: enough to accept that something could be fixed, that's good,
Speaker 1: that's really good or not, you know. And then my
Speaker 1: other theory in life is sometimes stuff ain't broke and
Speaker 1: then broken as relative. Yes, I mean, you know, it's
Speaker 1: all about our own what's our own understanding, what's our
Speaker 1: own perspective, and what are we going back to revisit?
Speaker 1: Like y'all know, I don't love my job, and in
Speaker 1: this last year I have had to relearn and unlearned
Speaker 1: several things that I thought were one way and they
Speaker 1: mean different things. And I just realized I'm continually evolving,
Speaker 1: which I love. Princess, the fact that you say you
Speaker 1: were raising the church, I think a lot of people
Speaker 1: can relate to that in this new day and age
Speaker 1: and shoutout, see your progressive people. What are the best
Speaker 1: ways for you to cope with that anxiety now? And
Speaker 1: have you experienced any true healing from if Princess and Jada,
Speaker 1: how do you cope? So my first thing is that,
Speaker 1: and I think I say this a lot, is me
Speaker 1: right aganizing that everybody has anxiety. That is probably one
Speaker 1: of the best things you can do is when you
Speaker 1: realize that you are not different, because everyone suffers from anxiety.
Speaker 1: In some weeks, I work out a lot. I told you,
Speaker 1: I'm meant to prayer, I meditate, and mostly I just
Speaker 1: go through it. I recognized that I'm different, and so
Speaker 1: because I'm different, I have to handle stuff differently. It's
Speaker 1: not gonna look the same for how you go through it,
Speaker 1: but I promise you I get through it, and that's okay. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and that's okay. I love that though. I love that though, Jay,
Speaker 1: what about you, how you cope and all transparency. I
Speaker 1: just start going to therapy and so that was something
Speaker 1: that I ran from for a very long time, even
Speaker 1: with like telling my family, my friends like you all right,
Speaker 1: like everything I find like, took that step and started
Speaker 1: to go to someone to talk about how I felt.
Speaker 1: So the first thing would be actually going and talking
Speaker 1: to someone. And then another big thing for me was
Speaker 1: just honoring how I felt. And that was another one
Speaker 1: that was brought us on the episode was just like,
Speaker 1: your experience is real to you, but it's very real
Speaker 1: to you. Your experience is real to you totally, and
Speaker 1: so instead of spending so much time getting someone else's
Speaker 1: opinion or spending so much time thinking about what does
Speaker 1: this look like or anything like that, I just had
Speaker 1: to honor have people. So if I get mad my
Speaker 1: sister for doing something, or if I don't want to
Speaker 1: go out with a group of friends for that particular weekend,
Speaker 1: I don't want to go. I don't owe like any
Speaker 1: explanation at work. If I'm unable to present an executive
Speaker 1: for that particular week because I have other stuff going
Speaker 1: on and I just can't do it, I just can't
Speaker 1: do it. So I just had to start honoring how
Speaker 1: I felt. And the last thing, just like I said,
Speaker 1: before finding new new people to hang out with and
Speaker 1: finding new friends. It's so important again to surround yourself
Speaker 1: with people who will honor how you feel and treat
Speaker 1: you how you deserted to be treated. And so some
Speaker 1: relationships and some situation ships had to end because they
Speaker 1: were triggering. Come on, and that's okay, But now mean,
Speaker 1: let me ask this because it's it's so interesting to
Speaker 1: me that we're talking about anxiety and we have two
Speaker 1: people who are here with us today who are also
Speaker 1: business owners. There's a tremendous amount of anxiety that goes
Speaker 1: along with being your own boss, having your own business,
Speaker 1: being responsible for customers and customer satisfaction. How are you
Speaker 1: dealing with that? How do you process being successful or
Speaker 1: pursuing the success of your goals in the midst of
Speaker 1: your anxiety. When you're anxious and you are a business owner,
Speaker 1: you have the tendency to do things over and over
Speaker 1: again because you wanted to be one correct. And so
Speaker 1: it has gotten to the point where I have an
Speaker 1: event checklist and it's like I, I, we are not
Speaker 1: dealing with how you feel. We're gonna deal with what's
Speaker 1: real based on this checklist. You've done A, B, C,
Speaker 1: and D and you're on E. You are not on A.
Speaker 1: And so organization is the major thing. And for me
Speaker 1: it was learning to accept help because again, a lot
Speaker 1: of your anxiety is because you're afraid that you're gonna fail.
Speaker 1: And if you do fail and you're by yourself, then
Speaker 1: it falls on you. But if you pass the ball
Speaker 1: to your partner and they drop it, then you know
Speaker 1: it's a little different. And so I had to learn
Speaker 1: not accept any help except good help. Come on keywords,
Speaker 1: keywords and and help I understands you. And and the
Speaker 1: other thing is that I'm transparent with my team. That
Speaker 1: is key about my own mental health issues. And I
Speaker 1: outly admit when I'm wrong and loud when it's needed,
Speaker 1: and those are probably the ways that I make it
Speaker 1: through and survive this business. And you're on stage and
Speaker 1: so that gives you literal visibility to your audience, where Jada,
Speaker 1: you have a luxury mobile bar service and it's a
Speaker 1: totally different stage. It's extremely nerve breaking because you're serving
Speaker 1: people and you're giving them something that ultimately alters their
Speaker 1: mind in the sense, and no matter like how cautious
Speaker 1: we are ideaing people or anything like that, you're just
Speaker 1: super nervous about what happens when they leave here. I
Speaker 1: can refuse service to them in my presence, but what
Speaker 1: do they do when they go to their car or
Speaker 1: when they're in the back of the event building. So
Speaker 1: before any event in Trace, we can tell you I
Speaker 1: am on edge, because that's that's nerve breaking and there's
Speaker 1: a lot of liability there. The Princess's point, I have
Speaker 1: to have an event checklist. I have to organize everything
Speaker 1: that has to be loaded up for an event like
Speaker 1: days in advance. And even with the checklist, I'm one
Speaker 1: hundred percent know what it feels like to stay on
Speaker 1: the same text for hours and hours it's like we
Speaker 1: can do this fouls thrown together, tasking down two hours ago,
Speaker 1: and it's just not and you're doing the same thing,
Speaker 1: the same box over and over again. So I had
Speaker 1: to start being more organized and then okay, excepting this
Speaker 1: is done and it'll go find keyword, keyword, Jada, I
Speaker 1: am going to accept that I have done my best.
Speaker 1: This box is successful. That's it's That's the one though.
Speaker 1: And you know what the crazy part about it is
Speaker 1: that percent of the time the box is really successful
Speaker 1: because we're good at what we do. Or even before
Speaker 1: even like I'll hyper ventilated, Yeah, I'll be like my stomach,
Speaker 1: I'll like scream in the parking lot. People really don't know.
Speaker 1: I have a reverse trick for that. If you're perform
Speaker 1: or speak for me, this works for me. Anyway. You
Speaker 1: run in place really quick to just kind of get
Speaker 1: those nerves out, and then as you're go on stage,
Speaker 1: your heart rage is coming down versus going up, so
Speaker 1: it's actually slowing down before you go. So something a
Speaker 1: little quick, okay, that's interesting. Even if it's just a
Speaker 1: quick four or five steps in place, it'll just help
Speaker 1: you just come on down. It's so interesting how you know,
Speaker 1: I said, we're all on the spectrum of anxiety. And
Speaker 1: my anxiety is not at all about speaking. I talk regularly,
Speaker 1: I conduct sessions and speak publicly and do personal development sessions.
Speaker 1: My anxiety really is what you guys talked about with
Speaker 1: the rumination, like I will think and think and think
Speaker 1: and think and think again. And like my mom and
Speaker 1: I talked about that, she suffers from anxiety too, and
Speaker 1: she calls it making movies, y'all, where it's like one
Speaker 1: thought connects to another thought connects to another thought. And
Speaker 1: typically it happens before I'm going to sleep. You know,
Speaker 1: it's that time alone. It's a quiet time, right. I
Speaker 1: started processing. I take medication. Now I was able to
Speaker 1: embrace it. I had a triggering event that happened years
Speaker 1: ago in two thousand six that took my anxiety beyond
Speaker 1: just rumination, and so I started taking medication and I
Speaker 1: have thankfully had success with that. So I'm not up
Speaker 1: all night every night, but there are some nights where
Speaker 1: it's early morning, late nights, and it's just part for
Speaker 1: the course, as you all know. And so when you're alone,
Speaker 1: you give a chance to thank so thank you both
Speaker 1: so much, because there are so many more things and
Speaker 1: so many more moments we could discuss, but sadly, Caa,
Speaker 1: it's that time. It's that time. You all have to leave.
Speaker 1: We have to go. Listen. Thank you so much for
Speaker 1: coming to our virtual red table. Oh God, thank you
Speaker 1: for having me. It was amazing. Jada, it was a
Speaker 1: pleasure hearing your story than we'd love that. Thank you
Speaker 1: both so much, Jada M. Thomas and Jule Princess Johnson,
Speaker 1: thank you both so much for being here that I
Speaker 1: thank you. We have had the most wonderful guest. We're
Speaker 1: gonna take a break right now, and when we return,
Speaker 1: we'll share our top five thoughts. Tracy, listen, we both
Speaker 1: learned a lot during this episode, and I think now
Speaker 1: it's times that we share our thoughts. So I mean too,
Speaker 1: because listen, we are presenting car and Tracy's top five thoughts. Yes,
Speaker 1: this is the part of the show where we speed
Speaker 1: through the five thoughts slash takeaways from our episodes. Facts. Well,
Speaker 1: let's fire them off. Who wants to go first? Well,
Speaker 1: I'm talking, so I guess I will go first and
Speaker 1: kicking it off with number five, tell as old as time,
Speaker 1: But you really don't know what someone is going through
Speaker 1: On the end side, you need to check all your people,
Speaker 1: check all your people. That is a tale as old
Speaker 1: as time empty, which brings us to number four. It again,
Speaker 1: number four, Stop telling people you're fine. Drop the expectations
Speaker 1: of other people have of you. Live for yourself, not
Speaker 1: for others. That he how many of us are caught
Speaker 1: up in that whole thing of trying to live up
Speaker 1: to someone else's expectations. And what will they say? What
Speaker 1: will they think? Who is the day? Who is they
Speaker 1: stay away from? The DJ Callet told us, I mean
Speaker 1: he made a whole song about it. Let's kick it
Speaker 1: on into number three. Okay. We talked about finding ways
Speaker 1: to cope, and often people do with marijuana or alcohol,
Speaker 1: but really self medicating is not the way to go.
Speaker 1: So that brings us to the article that was recently
Speaker 1: featured in CNN. It follows a study that says marijuana
Speaker 1: may not be as great for the mental health relief
Speaker 1: as originally expected. That's interesting. I have taught some cannabis
Speaker 1: classes myself, and I'm gonna say, educate yourself. So articles
Speaker 1: like this are key. What do you think, Tracy? You
Speaker 1: know Gammy talked about that that she was experiencing anxiety
Speaker 1: and that she self medicated with drugs and that she
Speaker 1: just wanted to numb herself and at the end of
Speaker 1: the day, it didn't help alright. Number two Kim talking
Speaker 1: about raising a kid in the Spotlight with ex husband
Speaker 1: Alec Baldwin. I love that she was honest and she
Speaker 1: was honest to bless her heart, you know. I love
Speaker 1: how they both were honest. Bless Alec bald with heart.
Speaker 1: You know, he is just the father and they both
Speaker 1: were like, we don't think he can digest this topic.
Speaker 1: I mean, in not saying anything against the men or
Speaker 1: what have you, but the priorities are just different. They've
Speaker 1: mentioned that alex family had a mindset of you know,
Speaker 1: they don't they have to be tough, they have to
Speaker 1: be strong. He can't be weak, and any kind of
Speaker 1: breakdown that you have, including any measurable mental illness or
Speaker 1: mental health issue, is considered weakness. So his family wouldn't
Speaker 1: tolerate it, so he wouldn't be capable. I mean, they
Speaker 1: said he's gotten better, but he just couldn't. He couldn't.
Speaker 1: It wasn't that he didn't want to talk about it
Speaker 1: or he liked the sensitivity. I don't think it was
Speaker 1: truly that he's been raised in a family where you
Speaker 1: have to be, you know, numbed out. And that's a
Speaker 1: key point because he is in the family of how
Speaker 1: achievers for sure. Okay, and number one, Anxiety will manifest
Speaker 1: itself in different ways for different people. Anxiety attacks can
Speaker 1: make people throw up, It can make their heartbeat be elevated,
Speaker 1: they can start sweating. You just need to care for
Speaker 1: people in their anxious moments. Don't make it a big deal.
Speaker 1: Don't make them feel alone, unheard or invalidated. In the
Speaker 1: episode when she was saying, like I just you know,
Speaker 1: I didn't want to go out with people or you know,
Speaker 1: it was agoraphobia, just the fear of crowds. It's not you.
Speaker 1: I just don't want to go to dinner. That's not
Speaker 1: my thing in this moment. And people will really take
Speaker 1: it personally like she doesn't want to go again again.
Speaker 1: We're paying, you know, that's that's my family, We're paying.
Speaker 1: What's wrong with you? Like, you know, I don't want
Speaker 1: to come sometimes? So who I am? I don't have
Speaker 1: that same fear I I do have her Fred Stanford fear,
Speaker 1: the fear of your heartbeat I have that I have
Speaker 1: that it's the big one. I have that that I
Speaker 1: felt alone until she said that, seriously I do. It's
Speaker 1: interesting that is. I never thought it was a thing.
Speaker 1: I didn't even know it was a word until I
Speaker 1: watched the episodes. We want to know how you're feeling
Speaker 1: about this new season of Red Table Talk. What makes
Speaker 1: you happy? What are you connecting with We want to
Speaker 1: hear all about it. We are open to talk about
Speaker 1: any and everything with you, so sending in your questions
Speaker 1: at Let's Red Table Back at red table talk dot com. Listen.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening. We appreciate you, Thank
Speaker 1: you for tuning in, Thanks for choosing us. Is your
Speaker 1: favorite podcast today, Make sure you subscribe on the I
Speaker 1: Heart Radio app and please rate this podcast on Apple podcast.
Speaker 1: We'll be back next week for another episode of Let's
Speaker 1: Red Table Back. This has been amazing as always, and
Speaker 1: it is only because of our amazing production team. To
Speaker 1: a big thank you to the show's producers Valan Jethrow,
Speaker 1: Ellen Rakinton, Kyla Tanero and Mara de La Rotha and
Speaker 1: I founded engineers Calvin Baylis and dev and donnahe We
Speaker 1: love you a lot.