WEBVTT - “SHOULD I DATE A FELON?” 0:00:02.279 --> 0:00:03.280 Hello, Hello there. 0:00:03.279 --> 0:00:03.920 What's your name? 0:00:04.519 --> 0:00:04.760 Mave? 0:00:05.160 --> 0:00:06.600 Mave? What's going on? Mave? 0:00:06.800 --> 0:00:07.120 Okay? 0:00:07.320 --> 0:00:10.280 So I am talking to a felon right now with 0:00:10.440 --> 0:00:13.560 face tattoos, and I cannot decide if I like him 0:00:13.640 --> 0:00:15.560 or not. It's very confusing. 0:00:17.280 --> 0:00:22.680 Where'd you meet this this young lad on tender? Okay? 0:00:23.960 --> 0:00:28.960 What's going through your brain as you're attempting to decide 0:00:28.960 --> 0:00:31.240 whether or not you like him? 0:00:31.760 --> 0:00:32.120 Okay? 0:00:32.240 --> 0:00:35.559 So the thing is he was in jail for seven years, 0:00:35.920 --> 0:00:39.879 and that's not really my issue with him, Like that 0:00:40.080 --> 0:00:42.839 just kind of makes it a little more interesting. Like 0:00:42.920 --> 0:00:47.120 my problem is when we are talking, like on the phone, 0:00:47.200 --> 0:00:50.520 he doesn't really ask me that many questions, Like he's 0:00:50.600 --> 0:00:53.640 kind of quiet. It's usually just me talking and then 0:00:53.720 --> 0:00:58.320 he like he just laughs because I'm funny, but he 0:00:58.480 --> 0:00:59.000 just laughs. 0:01:01.960 --> 0:01:05.120 Okay, So what so so far, you've only given me 0:01:05.200 --> 0:01:08.000 reasons as to why you might not like him. Do 0:01:08.040 --> 0:01:09.760 you have reasons why you do like him? 0:01:10.880 --> 0:01:11.240 Okay? 0:01:11.280 --> 0:01:14.160 He has a really good job. He works through like 0:01:14.240 --> 0:01:18.080 the coast Guard, and he's really sweet, honestly, Like when 0:01:18.080 --> 0:01:20.759 he does talk, he's really nice. He has a bunch 0:01:20.800 --> 0:01:23.039 of tattoos and I only have three. And I was 0:01:23.040 --> 0:01:26.080 telling him how I want more, and he said we 0:01:26.080 --> 0:01:29.560 should go get tattoos together. I'll pay and I was like, 0:01:29.840 --> 0:01:32.360 no way, and he was like, yeah, I would be 0:01:32.680 --> 0:01:35.760 six hundred dollars a day, which is an insane thing 0:01:35.800 --> 0:01:37.920 to just tell somebody how much money you make. But 0:01:38.000 --> 0:01:39.880 that's a lot of money. And that's not like the 0:01:39.959 --> 0:01:41.280 main reason why I like him. 0:01:41.319 --> 0:01:44.520 It is because he's sweet. But yeah, I don't know. 0:01:44.840 --> 0:01:46.920 I don't know if like he just needs to come 0:01:46.959 --> 0:01:48.480 out of a shell or. 0:01:48.480 --> 0:01:52.360 What do you what do you do? We know what? 0:01:52.480 --> 0:01:53.880 He went to prison for. 0:01:55.560 --> 0:01:56.800 Firearms trafficking. 0:02:00.080 --> 0:02:00.720 How old is he? 0:02:02.080 --> 0:02:04.640 Twenty seven? So he's six years older than me. 0:02:05.320 --> 0:02:08.720 M How long have you been talking to him? 0:02:08.720 --> 0:02:11.200 For about a. 0:02:11.280 --> 0:02:13.760 Week and a half, I think, And he texts me 0:02:13.880 --> 0:02:16.600 all the time, like, even though he's like works a lot, 0:02:16.760 --> 0:02:19.920 he does text me a decent amount, even though like 0:02:20.000 --> 0:02:23.000 it's a little bit dry when he does, like he 0:02:23.080 --> 0:02:26.680 calls me sweetheart and darling and like all these really 0:02:26.680 --> 0:02:29.800 sweet things. So I just can't decide if like the 0:02:31.120 --> 0:02:35.160 being kind of dry is a deciding factor and whether 0:02:35.280 --> 0:02:38.239 or not I should stop talking to him. 0:02:38.760 --> 0:02:45.760 Uh, what's your name again? Mave? Yes, what do you want? 0:02:45.880 --> 0:02:46.079 Mave? 0:02:46.600 --> 0:02:48.600 What do you what are you looking for? What would 0:02:48.680 --> 0:02:51.119 make you? What in this life? What do you want? 0:02:51.120 --> 0:02:54.960 Are you looking for? Uh? You know, I don't know. 0:02:56.440 --> 0:02:59.720 Are you looking for like a partner to you know, 0:02:59.800 --> 0:03:06.160 a go go through life with and you know, grow together. 0:03:06.840 --> 0:03:10.560 Are you looking for just you're having fun, you're young, 0:03:10.680 --> 0:03:14.600 you're going crazy, You're meeting people, you're hanging out. What? 0:03:14.600 --> 0:03:16.399 What do you? What do you want? Mayve? 0:03:17.000 --> 0:03:19.840 There is a lot of things I want in life 0:03:19.880 --> 0:03:23.080 when it comes to like relationships, I just want to 0:03:23.080 --> 0:03:27.240 be loved like fully and wholeheartedly. I just want somebody 0:03:27.240 --> 0:03:29.760 who loves me and cares about me and would do 0:03:29.880 --> 0:03:30.640 anything for me. 0:03:32.560 --> 0:03:35.320 Someone who loves you, cares about you and would do 0:03:35.400 --> 0:03:36.280 anything for you. 0:03:37.480 --> 0:03:41.200 Yeah, and he like shows me how much they love me, you. 0:03:41.160 --> 0:03:47.760 Know, Okay, okay? Would you if he if if he 0:03:47.920 --> 0:03:51.839 brought you a giant box that was wrapped in gift 0:03:51.920 --> 0:03:56.080 wrap and you opened it and it was an illegally 0:03:56.120 --> 0:04:03.680 purchased RPG, would you be flattered by that? This is 0:04:03.680 --> 0:04:04.480 how much I love you? 0:04:04.520 --> 0:04:04.840 Look at this. 0:04:07.640 --> 0:04:11.760 Honestly, I probably would be kind of flattered by that 0:04:12.200 --> 0:04:16.960 extensive You just dropped like five hundred dollars to give 0:04:17.000 --> 0:04:22.440 me a bazooka. That's sweet, that's thoughtful, you know, yeah. 0:04:22.279 --> 0:04:28.360 Okay, okay, Well this is tough, mate, because I really 0:04:28.360 --> 0:04:30.800 I I don't really want to tell you what to 0:04:30.839 --> 0:04:37.400 do with your life or what to value. But I 0:04:37.800 --> 0:04:42.599 would be very careful about letting. I would be careful 0:04:42.640 --> 0:04:47.680 about a few things. One is if this dude, if 0:04:47.720 --> 0:04:52.040 you've known this dude for a week and he's he's 0:04:52.120 --> 0:04:55.120 coming off, well have you have you met him in person? 0:04:56.520 --> 0:05:00.560 No, he's in Florida and I'm in Virginia. But he's 0:05:00.560 --> 0:05:02.240 only going to be there for a couple of weeks 0:05:02.240 --> 0:05:05.200 because that's like his job. He works in Florida for 0:05:05.240 --> 0:05:06.640 like a month at a time, and then he has 0:05:06.680 --> 0:05:07.400 three weeks off. 0:05:07.760 --> 0:05:13.000 Okay, But and here's that. I would be a little 0:05:13.040 --> 0:05:17.240 wary of somebody who you have not met, that you've 0:05:17.240 --> 0:05:20.239 been talking to for only a week, who's already hitting 0:05:20.279 --> 0:05:24.039 you with the darling and my love and the you know, 0:05:24.480 --> 0:05:27.800 it's a lot, it's a lot for you know, a 0:05:27.839 --> 0:05:33.479 week and a half. I don't like to use pop 0:05:33.680 --> 0:05:37.800 psychology with TikTok whatever you would call it, but are 0:05:37.800 --> 0:05:39.640 you familiar with with love bombing? 0:05:41.360 --> 0:05:45.280 I am, and I have definitely experienced love bombing quite 0:05:45.320 --> 0:05:47.760 a few times. But I don't think this is it 0:05:47.839 --> 0:05:51.320 because he's not like, oh, really praising me. He's just 0:05:51.400 --> 0:05:54.039 saying like sweet things, which I do like, Like, I 0:05:54.040 --> 0:05:56.320 feel like I'd be less inclined to talk to him 0:05:56.360 --> 0:05:59.240 if he didn't. Maybe that's on me. Maybe I'm used 0:05:59.240 --> 0:06:01.040 to being loved. 0:06:03.520 --> 0:06:03.599 What. 0:06:04.120 --> 0:06:06.839 Okay, So you've had experiences in the past where you've 0:06:06.839 --> 0:06:09.640 met people and they've come on very strong. 0:06:10.839 --> 0:06:12.960 Oh yeah, I've had a guy tell me he loved 0:06:13.000 --> 0:06:15.440 me within like two weeks of dating, and then I 0:06:15.520 --> 0:06:17.640 broke up with him for that because that was just 0:06:17.680 --> 0:06:19.120 a little extreme. 0:06:19.560 --> 0:06:21.800 Okay, how did that? I was gonna ask, how did 0:06:21.800 --> 0:06:25.200 that end up? So you he so that? So telling 0:06:25.200 --> 0:06:29.600 you he loves you within two weeks is extreme, But 0:06:29.640 --> 0:06:32.159 you're not. You're not finding anything wrong right now with 0:06:32.320 --> 0:06:37.000 this guy who's uh, you know, hitting you with with 0:06:37.080 --> 0:06:41.240 all this stuff without even knowing you. Yeah. 0:06:41.360 --> 0:06:44.280 I mean we have like talked on the phone quite 0:06:44.320 --> 0:06:46.520 a bit, and he's told me like a little bit 0:06:46.680 --> 0:06:49.880 about himself. I feel like it's mainly me talking, which 0:06:49.960 --> 0:06:52.760 is like the issue. So I feel like I don't 0:06:52.800 --> 0:06:55.520 even really know him that well, which kind of sucks 0:06:55.560 --> 0:06:57.800 because like, he definitely knows a lot about me. 0:07:00.200 --> 0:07:03.440 Do you do you ask him questions about his life? 0:07:03.800 --> 0:07:06.720 Yeah? And when I do, he only responds with like 0:07:07.279 --> 0:07:08.320 a couple words. 0:07:08.320 --> 0:07:12.800 Maybe now you said that you're talking to him. He 0:07:12.840 --> 0:07:14.160 doesn't ask you any questions. 0:07:15.960 --> 0:07:18.680 Yeah, And though when he does, it's usually like kind 0:07:18.680 --> 0:07:21.800 of basic stuff like what's your favorite food, what's your 0:07:21.840 --> 0:07:23.200 favorite color? That kind of thing. 0:07:24.160 --> 0:07:26.040 So I do, I don't. I still don't. What do you? 0:07:26.120 --> 0:07:27.240 Why do you like this guy? 0:07:28.800 --> 0:07:32.520 Because he's sweet when he does when he does like talk, 0:07:32.640 --> 0:07:35.480 he says a lot of sweet things and he's nice, 0:07:35.880 --> 0:07:38.160 and it's like, I do find the face touched. He's 0:07:38.240 --> 0:07:41.440 kind of hot, even though I don't like the He 0:07:41.560 --> 0:07:44.320 has a monster logo on his face. 0:07:44.160 --> 0:07:47.680 And that wait he has hold on, hold on, hold on, 0:07:47.760 --> 0:07:53.440 hold on. He has the Monster Energy logo tattooed on 0:07:53.520 --> 0:07:59.440 his face. Yeah, Jesus Christ math. 0:08:03.440 --> 0:08:06.360 Exactly. Okay, that is the only tattoo of his that 0:08:06.560 --> 0:08:09.280 I'm like, baby were on his face? 0:08:09.400 --> 0:08:12.040 Is it like, does it look like the zoo? Wait? 0:08:12.040 --> 0:08:14.360 Does it look like the Zuko scar? 0:08:14.640 --> 0:08:14.680 On? 0:08:14.840 --> 0:08:17.000 Like he's a scar across his eyes, but it's the 0:08:17.080 --> 0:08:18.520 Monster Energy logo. 0:08:20.160 --> 0:08:25.440 No, it's on his cheek, directly visible, like, not even 0:08:25.560 --> 0:08:28.360 on his forehead where it could be covered by some hair. 0:08:28.440 --> 0:08:29.360 It is out there. 0:08:33.240 --> 0:08:35.000 All right. Let's you want all right, you want to 0:08:35.040 --> 0:08:37.280 get We can get more into this if you want, 0:08:37.320 --> 0:08:42.120 because all right, you want someone that loves you. Let's 0:08:42.120 --> 0:08:47.520 do let's let's do this. Do you are you? Do 0:08:47.559 --> 0:08:48.559 you like yourself? 0:08:51.160 --> 0:08:55.079 I do like I think I'm pretty and I think 0:08:55.120 --> 0:08:58.160 I'm funny. I do have an issue with like in 0:08:58.200 --> 0:09:02.360 my personality sometimes because I've had a very rough life 0:09:02.600 --> 0:09:06.520 and I've been bullied a lot by my family and 0:09:06.559 --> 0:09:09.000 things like that, and so it can be kind I'm 0:09:09.000 --> 0:09:11.000 in real therapy too, so you don't have to worry 0:09:11.040 --> 0:09:15.920 about that. But yeah, so it's kind of a complicated issue. 0:09:15.920 --> 0:09:17.880 Like there are things that I love about myself and 0:09:17.880 --> 0:09:22.720 there are things that I'm still working on trying to appreciate. 0:09:23.800 --> 0:09:28.640 Okay, well, what's your real If you were to tell 0:09:28.640 --> 0:09:30.839 your real therapist about this guy, what do you think 0:09:30.960 --> 0:09:32.840 they would say or if you have. 0:09:34.520 --> 0:09:36.800 That's a good question. I haven't talked to her about 0:09:36.880 --> 0:09:43.920 him yet. I think she would be okay with it. 0:09:43.960 --> 0:09:45.920 I think she would just tell me to be careful 0:09:46.200 --> 0:09:51.560 since he was like in jail before. Yeah, yeah, but 0:09:51.640 --> 0:09:54.720 I think she would approve. I mean, she knows that I'm, like, 0:09:54.880 --> 0:09:58.280 I'm much more likely to stop talking to somebody than 0:09:58.360 --> 0:10:00.880 I am to get into a really ship. So I 0:10:00.880 --> 0:10:05.160 think she knows that I I'm a little more careful 0:10:05.400 --> 0:10:06.240 than most people. 0:10:06.679 --> 0:10:08.640 Okay, because that's what I would say too. I'm not 0:10:08.679 --> 0:10:12.240 gonna be like, you know, never talk to anyone or 0:10:12.280 --> 0:10:15.559 do anything ever, but like, you know, do you think, 0:10:15.679 --> 0:10:19.280 do what you're gonna do, but you know, be careful. 0:10:19.360 --> 0:10:24.559 Don't get if this guy's you know, whisking up spells, 0:10:25.200 --> 0:10:28.679 you know, don't don't fall into his cauldron. 0:10:31.080 --> 0:10:34.680 Gotcha. I feel like he doesn't need witchcraft if he 0:10:34.800 --> 0:10:36.080 has all the fire arms. 0:10:39.360 --> 0:10:41.800 That's well. Because I also I'm a little weary about 0:10:41.840 --> 0:10:46.400 anyone who tries to like like I under okay, I 0:10:46.480 --> 0:10:49.600 under Here's the thing with like money and dating is 0:10:49.600 --> 0:10:56.360 like I understand money being attractive as a like symbol 0:10:56.520 --> 0:11:01.560 of just like competence, because competence is very attractive, and 0:11:01.640 --> 0:11:04.240 so like, you know, you want somebody who can like 0:11:04.400 --> 0:11:06.400 take you out every now and then and then you know, 0:11:06.440 --> 0:11:08.320 pay for things and just like be like it's a 0:11:08.360 --> 0:11:12.680 sign of a competent person to like, you know, have 0:11:12.800 --> 0:11:16.560 their financial life in order. But beyond that, when it 0:11:16.600 --> 0:11:19.640 becomes like let me woo you by you know, showing 0:11:19.679 --> 0:11:24.679 off you know, fancy things, and uh you know, or 0:11:24.800 --> 0:11:26.880 or or even worse, if you get into a fucking 0:11:26.960 --> 0:11:29.839 thing where like somebody's like bankrolling your life, and then 0:11:30.120 --> 0:11:36.320 that creates a weird dynamic between you two. You know, 0:11:36.760 --> 0:11:39.600 that's where I think that stuff gets a little weird. 0:11:39.800 --> 0:11:43.640 But uh, yeah, I feel like I wouldn't let that happen. 0:11:43.760 --> 0:11:45.560 But a lot of the guys that have dated in 0:11:45.600 --> 0:11:49.320 the past, it's been like me paying for stuff most 0:11:49.360 --> 0:11:51.760 of the time. It kind of sucks. 0:11:52.000 --> 0:11:58.040 Yeah, I understand that. Yeah, so again, like if you're 0:11:58.040 --> 0:12:00.680 attracted to the money as a sign of like competence 0:12:00.760 --> 0:12:02.520 and like, oh, this guy has at least his life 0:12:02.559 --> 0:12:06.000 together enough that he you know, can support himself and 0:12:06.000 --> 0:12:09.440 and you know whatnot I understand that. But again, beyond that, 0:12:10.080 --> 0:12:13.160 it's not like we don't want you know, you move 0:12:13.200 --> 0:12:15.160 in with this like don't don't fuck it, don't do 0:12:15.240 --> 0:12:17.480 stupid shit like don't move in with this guy after 0:12:17.559 --> 0:12:19.640 three weeks and have him pay a the rent and 0:12:19.880 --> 0:12:20.839 don't do anything like that. 0:12:23.240 --> 0:12:25.920 I mean, you know, why not Why wouldn't I do that? 0:12:27.520 --> 0:12:29.719 Why I you know, I can tell you. I will 0:12:29.760 --> 0:12:34.160 give you a reason why you shouldn't do that, because 0:12:34.200 --> 0:12:37.760 you should be That's because that's gonna be not beneficial 0:12:37.760 --> 0:12:39.400 to you in the long run, because you want to 0:12:39.880 --> 0:12:43.800 develop your own life and sense of identity. And you know, 0:12:43.920 --> 0:12:45.559 just as I said money, it can be this sign 0:12:45.640 --> 0:12:50.080 of competence. You want to develop your own life competence 0:12:50.400 --> 0:12:53.920 and your own financial wellness and these own things. You 0:12:53.920 --> 0:12:56.360 don't want just some dude from Tender to do it 0:12:56.400 --> 0:12:56.760 for you. 0:12:58.120 --> 0:13:00.680 Yeah, that's that's a good point. I do have a 0:13:00.760 --> 0:13:03.200 lot of goals in life. I want to open my 0:13:03.240 --> 0:13:06.559 own bakery because I love baking and cooking and stuff. 0:13:06.640 --> 0:13:08.760 And then I also want to open a goth club 0:13:08.920 --> 0:13:14.080 because I'm goth and there's no like goth places, no 0:13:14.240 --> 0:13:17.320 spaces for goth people in my city, which is crazy 0:13:17.320 --> 0:13:18.520 because I'm in a big city. 0:13:18.760 --> 0:13:22.360 No, what's it? Can I ask? What? What's what's stay at? 0:13:22.400 --> 0:13:23.160 What city? Are you in? 0:13:24.960 --> 0:13:25.840 Richmond, Virginia? 0:13:26.600 --> 0:13:32.160 Richmond, Virginia. Okay, yeah, I don't know how many goths 0:13:32.200 --> 0:13:33.720 there are in Richmond, Virginia. 0:13:35.559 --> 0:13:39.560 Yeah, but hey, you should come to DC because I 0:13:39.760 --> 0:13:41.120 can make that show. 0:13:42.160 --> 0:13:44.480 Yeah, I'll be there. I'll be the Miracle Theater sometime 0:13:44.559 --> 0:13:45.800 in September. 0:13:45.840 --> 0:13:50.120 I think, hell yeah. 0:13:48.960 --> 0:13:52.600 Well anyway, Uh, what are you going to do? I 0:13:52.600 --> 0:13:54.439 guess before we go? What are you? What are you 0:13:54.559 --> 0:13:56.360 leaning towards? 0:13:56.760 --> 0:14:00.520 I'm gonna see if he comes out of his shell 0:14:00.600 --> 0:14:02.880 a little bit, because I feel like I can be 0:14:03.040 --> 0:14:06.760 kind of intimidating and it might also be like me 0:14:07.160 --> 0:14:10.800 just yapping a lot and not really giving him the 0:14:10.960 --> 0:14:14.400 chance to like really talk. I'll see if that's the issue. 0:14:14.440 --> 0:14:16.840 Like next time we talk on the phone, I'll be 0:14:17.559 --> 0:14:19.800 I'll be a little more like quiet and see if 0:14:19.840 --> 0:14:23.280 he's the one that like fills in the silences. Okay, 0:14:23.320 --> 0:14:25.360 but yeah, we'll see how that goes. 0:14:26.040 --> 0:14:30.880 All right. Well, if I need a wonder waff, I'll 0:14:30.920 --> 0:14:31.440 hit you up. 0:14:32.720 --> 0:14:33.960 Okay, cool is a. 0:14:33.920 --> 0:14:36.040 Wonder waft or wonder waffle? Hold on, I'm looking this 0:14:36.160 --> 0:14:37.880 up real quick before I get off the call. Okay, 0:14:37.880 --> 0:14:40.000 hold on, hold on. Yeah, it's a wonder waff, right 0:14:40.200 --> 0:14:40.880 wonder waff? 0:14:41.400 --> 0:14:41.640 Yeah? 0:14:41.720 --> 0:14:44.680 Yeah, Okay, Well, if I need a wonder waft, I'll 0:14:44.720 --> 0:14:46.920 hit you up. This is a joke about the gun 0:14:47.400 --> 0:14:49.960 from The Mystery Box and Call of Duty Zombies. Do 0:14:49.960 --> 0:14:51.000 you know what I'm talking about? 0:14:51.520 --> 0:14:52.160 I got it? 0:14:52.360 --> 0:14:53.440 Yeah, No, you don't. 0:14:53.440 --> 0:14:53.600 You know? 0:14:54.160 --> 0:14:55.240 Do you know what I'm talking You know what I'm 0:14:55.240 --> 0:14:55.680 talking about? 0:14:55.920 --> 0:14:58.560 Hell yeah, the Mystery Box, of course, I know. It's 0:14:58.600 --> 0:15:01.760 the Mystery was game or Girls for like a solid 0:15:01.800 --> 0:15:02.480 four years. 0:15:02.800 --> 0:15:05.960 Okay, if it gets you a wonder waff, then you 0:15:06.000 --> 0:15:07.000 know you can live with him. 0:15:08.360 --> 0:15:11.480 Yeah, okay, that's understandable. That is verage material. 0:15:11.840 --> 0:15:13.680 Okay, all right, I'll talk to you later. 0:15:13.720 --> 0:15:16.640 Man, good luck, all right, I have a good day. 0:15:19.360 --> 0:15:23.760 I don't know. People are gonna do whatever they're gonna do. 0:15:24.040 --> 0:15:26.640 I don't know. I don't know shit. Because sometimes somebody 0:15:26.680 --> 0:15:31.360 will call me and be like, you know, hey, uh 0:15:31.920 --> 0:15:34.840 this is per I don't have an example, but some 0:15:34.920 --> 0:15:37.840 people will. People will be like, you know, I want 0:15:37.840 --> 0:15:41.240 to talk about like relationship or dating things, and in 0:15:41.280 --> 0:15:43.560 the back I don't. I don't like to overtly say it, 0:15:43.560 --> 0:15:45.440 but in the back of my mind, I'm like, I 0:15:45.480 --> 0:15:48.200 don't know about this. And then you know, I'll get 0:15:48.240 --> 0:15:50.880 a DM you know, two years later and be like 0:15:50.960 --> 0:15:54.240 me and this person are deeply in love and we're 0:15:54.240 --> 0:15:57.080 so happy and life's great, and I'll be like, well, 0:15:57.120 --> 0:15:59.600 what the fuck do I know about anything? So I 0:15:59.640 --> 0:15:59.920 don't know? 0:16:05.920 --> 0:16:11.000 Hello, Hello, I you can give me a name, all right? 0:16:11.040 --> 0:16:16.080 Your name is Dan. What's up Dan? How's life Dan? 0:16:17.360 --> 0:16:21.240 It's it's going It's kind of rough right now, kind 0:16:21.240 --> 0:16:23.440 of stay at home mom. Not much going on? 0:16:24.480 --> 0:16:26.840 Well, Dan, how can I get you today? What's going on? 0:16:29.000 --> 0:16:33.680 I'm just kind of in a midlife crisis. I know, 0:16:33.800 --> 0:16:37.040 my my whole world fell apart, and I I just 0:16:37.080 --> 0:16:39.560 don't know where to go from here. I'm stay at 0:16:39.560 --> 0:16:43.360 home mom widow and I don't know where to go 0:16:43.440 --> 0:16:43.960 from here. 0:16:45.800 --> 0:16:51.160 Mm hmm, Well where are you right now? Metaphorically? 0:16:53.240 --> 0:16:56.040 I had to move back in with my grandparents just 0:16:56.080 --> 0:17:00.760 so I wasn't living alone. H And I have a toddler, 0:17:00.880 --> 0:17:02.160 So you have? 0:17:02.240 --> 0:17:03.080 You said? You have one kid? 0:17:03.120 --> 0:17:06.600 Two kids, two eleven and three. 0:17:07.119 --> 0:17:08.440 Eleven and three. How are they doing? 0:17:10.200 --> 0:17:13.640 Uh? They're doing good. Three year olds is a three 0:17:13.760 --> 0:17:16.800 year old wild tiddler and my eleven year old kind 0:17:16.800 --> 0:17:19.600 of went through it, but we're getting better now. It's 0:17:19.680 --> 0:17:22.479 been two and a half years since my husband passed. 0:17:22.920 --> 0:17:23.239 M hm. 0:17:26.160 --> 0:17:29.840 And what do you do for work? 0:17:31.760 --> 0:17:33.920 I'm I'm a stay home mom, right now that's kind 0:17:33.960 --> 0:17:36.920 of what I'm dealing with. I spent so much time 0:17:37.000 --> 0:17:42.000 helping people and kids and stuff, and I just, yeah, 0:17:42.040 --> 0:17:42.960 I'm just lost in what. 0:17:42.960 --> 0:17:50.320 To do for that. M h. What were you doing 0:17:50.359 --> 0:17:52.560 before you were a stay at home mom? Or was 0:17:52.640 --> 0:17:56.600 your husband paying the bills? He was? 0:17:56.760 --> 0:17:59.920 But I basically did just the typical jobs like HOUSEKEI 0:18:00.119 --> 0:18:05.520 being customer service, hosting, UH, liquor stores, dog store. 0:18:07.640 --> 0:18:10.120 Dan, let me ask you a crazy question. I'm gonna 0:18:10.160 --> 0:18:14.840 ask you a crazy question. Okay, just why not just 0:18:14.920 --> 0:18:15.720 fuck it all right? 0:18:17.160 --> 0:18:17.400 Dan? 0:18:18.000 --> 0:18:20.120 If you could do any if your life could look 0:18:20.240 --> 0:18:25.280 like fucking anything for money, forget about you have all 0:18:25.280 --> 0:18:27.720 of it. I'm gonna say, I'm gonna go ahead and 0:18:27.760 --> 0:18:30.080 say you could even bend the laws of space, time 0:18:30.119 --> 0:18:34.280 and physics. You can, you can, you know you can 0:18:34.320 --> 0:18:37.720 break the law in this scenario. I'm gonna give you 0:18:37.760 --> 0:18:43.120 that too. You can do whatever you want at all. 0:18:43.160 --> 0:18:45.080 What what would what would it look like? What would 0:18:45.119 --> 0:18:45.840 the life look like? 0:18:49.080 --> 0:18:52.680 You know, simple life, you know, like a ranch, working 0:18:52.720 --> 0:18:56.800 on it. My dream technically was to work on homes, 0:18:57.359 --> 0:19:00.320 but my age kind of I don't know if I'm 0:19:00.359 --> 0:19:03.240 too old to get into that into construction and working 0:19:03.280 --> 0:19:04.080 with homes. 0:19:04.359 --> 0:19:04.800 How old are you? 0:19:06.640 --> 0:19:07.640 I'm going to be thirty two. 0:19:08.600 --> 0:19:11.520 You're talking, you're talking like you're seventy six years old. 0:19:13.200 --> 0:19:15.680 Well, when I told my grandpa, he laughed at me. 0:19:15.760 --> 0:19:18.240 He's like a woman at thirty two construction. 0:19:21.440 --> 0:19:24.560 Really, I'm genuinely I'm I'm by the way I want 0:19:24.600 --> 0:19:33.520 to say, I'm I'm simultaneously aghast and impressed that I 0:19:33.560 --> 0:19:35.600 told you you could break any law you want and 0:19:35.640 --> 0:19:39.840 have unlimited money and incorporate magic into this life. And 0:19:39.880 --> 0:19:41.399 you want to be a construction worker. 0:19:41.640 --> 0:19:46.719 That's very cool, right right, That's like the one passion 0:19:46.800 --> 0:19:47.320 that I have. 0:19:47.800 --> 0:19:50.360 That's phenomenal. That's great. So why is he saying? I mean, 0:19:50.400 --> 0:19:54.600 I'm telling you right now, I have absolutely no idea 0:19:55.240 --> 0:20:00.000 how one becomes a construction worker? Do you have? Do you? 0:20:00.040 --> 0:20:01.600 Do you ever looked into it? Have you googled it? 0:20:02.960 --> 0:20:06.200 Yeah, there's there is a college around here that has 0:20:06.240 --> 0:20:09.960 the program for it. Okay, And I've been thinking about that. 0:20:10.840 --> 0:20:12.080 What's stopping you from doing it? 0:20:14.320 --> 0:20:15.960 I'm a stay at home all with the tall the 0:20:16.160 --> 0:20:19.560 right now, and just I'm just kind of scared that it, 0:20:19.880 --> 0:20:22.080 Like if I do like to stay at home saying 0:20:22.160 --> 0:20:25.000 and do some schooling that it's just not going to 0:20:25.080 --> 0:20:27.560 go anywhere, but it's just going to kind of steal 0:20:27.640 --> 0:20:29.080 out since I'm a home all the time. 0:20:29.520 --> 0:20:36.080 That is tough. Now the three Now these children they 0:20:36.119 --> 0:20:37.040 go to school. 0:20:36.720 --> 0:20:39.640 Correct, not the three year old? 0:20:40.400 --> 0:20:41.320 Not the three year old. 0:20:41.480 --> 0:20:42.960 That's just kind of what I'm battling with you. 0:20:45.920 --> 0:20:46.440 Mm hmmm. 0:20:48.400 --> 0:20:52.159 Have you looked into like is there is there are 0:20:52.160 --> 0:20:55.120 there daycares that that we can we can drop them 0:20:55.119 --> 0:20:56.720 off at? 0:20:57.200 --> 0:20:57.320 Right? 0:20:57.400 --> 0:20:58.960 So that's what I was trying to figure out how 0:20:59.000 --> 0:21:02.600 to do like temp work where I could pay for 0:21:02.720 --> 0:21:05.760 that and school, but it just seems so much because 0:21:05.800 --> 0:21:07.480 daycare is so expensive right now? 0:21:10.080 --> 0:21:10.280 Mm? 0:21:12.440 --> 0:21:16.399 And you're living at your grandmother's house, right, Yeah, we 0:21:16.520 --> 0:21:19.280 just moved in here, and what's her deal was she doing? 0:21:21.080 --> 0:21:22.040 He just stays a home. 0:21:24.080 --> 0:21:28.119 I know it's a little difficult to ask for help, 0:21:28.160 --> 0:21:30.080 but could she help take care of them while you're 0:21:30.119 --> 0:21:32.760 at school? Yeah? 0:21:32.800 --> 0:21:37.040 They would be willing to. I guess it is just 0:21:37.119 --> 0:21:40.159 me having to just just do it, you know, like 0:21:40.359 --> 0:21:42.280 ask for it. I just I get nervous to ask 0:21:42.280 --> 0:21:44.520 for that too, because they already helped so much, you know. 0:21:44.680 --> 0:21:46.880 Mm hmmmmmmm. 0:21:48.040 --> 0:21:48.240 Hmm. 0:21:50.640 --> 0:21:53.200 But I mean, I mean, look, I'm just gonna say 0:21:53.200 --> 0:21:57.000