WEBVTT - There’s No Manual 0:00:07.560 --> 0:00:15.600 I got to Oh, hello, welcome that we does parenting. 0:00:15.600 --> 0:00:19.400 I'm Peter McNerney and I'm Beth Nowell in the woods. 0:00:19.760 --> 0:00:23.400 I'm in the woods. I'm outside of Richmond, Virginia. I'm 0:00:23.440 --> 0:00:28.720 down here for a book released party tomorrow night. Babes, 0:00:28.840 --> 0:00:32.080 it's tonight. If they're listening to this, it's tonight baby. 0:00:32.159 --> 0:00:37.000 By the time you're listening to this, it's tonight yesterday, 0:00:37.040 --> 0:00:43.199 depending on when you listen. Babes of Carrytown, Richmond, Virginia. Um, anyway, 0:00:43.560 --> 0:00:47.480 we I'm here with Jackie, my co author. Oh, we've 0:00:47.520 --> 0:00:51.919 got some kids waking up. Oh my gosh, this is 0:00:52.080 --> 0:00:56.120 this is gonna be extra Keep explaining yourself if I 0:00:56.120 --> 0:01:04.080 should be quiet. Um, the we've disturbed a second household 0:01:04.080 --> 0:01:07.920 with our loud podcasting. So where are you right now? 0:01:07.959 --> 0:01:11.560 I don't even know. I am at Jackie's house outside 0:01:11.560 --> 0:01:14.720 of Richmond, and she's putting her daughter back to bed, 0:01:14.720 --> 0:01:20.360 who just overheard us recording a podcast And she was 0:01:20.360 --> 0:01:23.679 asleep and she's like, why are people projecting? So clearly 0:01:24.160 --> 0:01:27.560 I must get out of bed and investigate. Is someone 0:01:27.600 --> 0:01:35.720 promoting a book event? That's what she was thinking. I'm interested. Um. Yeah, 0:01:36.000 --> 0:01:40.120 so we FaceTime you earlier with the kids. That was 0:01:40.240 --> 0:01:44.280 fun boy. I gotta say so. Jackie has two kids, 0:01:44.400 --> 0:01:48.000 very similar ages to our two kids, and they have 0:01:48.120 --> 0:01:51.480 they talked before they hit it off. They have talked before, 0:01:51.520 --> 0:01:54.120 but not in a while. So they were really connecting 0:01:54.360 --> 0:01:57.960 and and Britain said to Rocket, he was like, how 0:01:58.000 --> 0:02:00.800 old are you? Like? He clearly is like, this is 0:02:00.800 --> 0:02:02.720 a cool person and I need to know how I 0:02:02.760 --> 0:02:07.000 measure up. He's like, are you my peer? I think 0:02:07.040 --> 0:02:10.160 you're somebody I can connect with on an intellectual level. 0:02:10.960 --> 0:02:13.480 And then she showed him that she lost her two 0:02:13.520 --> 0:02:16.240 bottom teeth, and then he lied and said that he 0:02:16.360 --> 0:02:19.639 lost a tooth in the back of his mouth, conveniently 0:02:19.680 --> 0:02:21.560 that you know, the place where you can't easily show 0:02:21.600 --> 0:02:26.000 someone over FaceTime. I've lost one way in the back. 0:02:27.120 --> 0:02:33.400 He's a big liar. Um. So we're we're I'm home alone, 0:02:33.440 --> 0:02:37.079 solo parenting. It's going great so far. Can I say 0:02:37.120 --> 0:02:40.560 I took I took them out to dinner and I 0:02:40.639 --> 0:02:42.639 was in a good mood, so I was just practicing 0:02:42.800 --> 0:02:48.919 full deflection instead. Anytime they got cranky or said no 0:02:49.080 --> 0:02:52.840 to something, I just decided, no matter what, I'm not 0:02:52.919 --> 0:02:56.440 gonna I'm not going to be a rigid wall. I'm 0:02:56.480 --> 0:02:59.760 just gonna get out of the way and redirect and 0:03:00.080 --> 0:03:02.359 day positive. Did you say I'm not going to be 0:03:02.440 --> 0:03:06.720 a rigid mom. No, that would be very offensive if 0:03:06.760 --> 0:03:10.480 I said that, are rigid. I think I said wall, 0:03:11.919 --> 0:03:15.600 like you know, you know when they do something you 0:03:15.639 --> 0:03:18.160 want them to stop, and you media they are like, no, 0:03:18.560 --> 0:03:20.760 that's sort of like you're not getting by me at all. 0:03:21.919 --> 0:03:24.560 I picture it like when I'm doing my best parenting, 0:03:26.160 --> 0:03:31.600 not soft, but just I'm trying to redirect. I'm trying 0:03:31.639 --> 0:03:34.320 to get out of the way of the conflict, like 0:03:34.400 --> 0:03:36.839 just like let it get past me, and then when 0:03:36.880 --> 0:03:39.680 it's less threatened, to point it towards a productive direction. 0:03:39.680 --> 0:03:43.280 And it was super successful. Um, okay, so we can 0:03:43.520 --> 0:03:46.600 talk about the really the best thing in the world 0:03:47.120 --> 0:03:51.920 that happened today, finally some relief on the housing front 0:03:51.920 --> 0:03:58.120 we were in. Did you feel it like I got 0:03:58.120 --> 0:04:01.160 that text that it happened and I just felt the 0:04:01.200 --> 0:04:05.160 weight of the universe lift off of me. Yeah. Well, 0:04:05.240 --> 0:04:07.800 I was telling Jackie today, I feel like the energy 0:04:07.880 --> 0:04:18.000 is shifting around us. Yeah, that's an understatement. I'm offended 0:04:18.040 --> 0:04:23.800 at how how how underwhelming a description that is of 0:04:23.839 --> 0:04:29.919 how I feel. I feel invincible, and now we can 0:04:30.040 --> 0:04:32.080 do everything else. Now we can move on with our lives. 0:04:32.080 --> 0:04:34.400 Now we can talk about it, Now we can plan. 0:04:35.680 --> 0:04:40.640 We can plan our lives sort of. Yeah. Yeah, that's 0:04:40.680 --> 0:04:42.680 I think that's why. That put me in the mood 0:04:42.720 --> 0:04:45.760 where I'm like, I'm gonna try positive parenting tonight. You 0:04:45.760 --> 0:04:48.440 know what, if they get mad, fine, I'm just gonna redirect. 0:04:49.279 --> 0:04:51.719 I wasn't any sort of special parent tonight. I was 0:04:51.760 --> 0:04:54.039 just in a good mood, which makes it a lot 0:04:54.120 --> 0:05:00.360 easier to deal with bratty children. Yeah, because like, I'm 0:05:00.360 --> 0:05:03.120 not taking things personally. I don't care. I'm fine. I 0:05:03.160 --> 0:05:07.159 have a house now, so you kids can't hurt my feelings. Yeah, 0:05:07.200 --> 0:05:12.359 your homeowner invincible? Yeah, dude, I'm a home owner. Homeowner. 0:05:12.440 --> 0:05:17.640 You know I have no problems. I'll be super stressed 0:05:17.680 --> 0:05:19.880 in two days as like the reality of what's next 0:05:20.760 --> 0:05:26.440 comes into play. Yeah. So how does it feel to 0:05:26.440 --> 0:05:29.440 be free from your kids and your husband and with 0:05:29.480 --> 0:05:36.120 your with the best friend and and no responsibilities. Um, 0:05:36.160 --> 0:05:40.400 it feels good. I wouldn't say there's no responsibilities, but 0:05:42.640 --> 0:05:47.000 I mean I I went from hanging out with my 0:05:47.160 --> 0:05:51.160 kids to hang out with someone else's kids, so it's 0:05:51.720 --> 0:05:55.680 it's fun. It was a pretty similar trade in terms. Yeah, 0:05:55.760 --> 0:05:58.680 it's like actually less annoying when someone else's kids are 0:05:58.760 --> 0:06:01.359 jumping on you because you're like, you don't take it personally. 0:06:01.839 --> 0:06:04.400 You're not like this person jumps on me every day 0:06:04.400 --> 0:06:09.720 of my life. It's also I'm not responsible for stopping this. 0:06:10.760 --> 0:06:14.440 I don't need to teach them anything. Go for it, 0:06:15.080 --> 0:06:20.159 kill me, you know what, jump on me. Go ahead. Um, 0:06:20.320 --> 0:06:23.760 Jacky's daughter Rocket said something, or she was she said 0:06:23.800 --> 0:06:28.560 something about me being a mom now, or she's like 0:06:29.279 --> 0:06:30.599 she was like, this is what it's like to be 0:06:30.640 --> 0:06:38.800 our mom. You never get a break. It was like 0:06:38.960 --> 0:06:42.880 very on point. I was like, oh, I know, tell 0:06:42.960 --> 0:06:45.200 me about it, Rocket. But on that note, I think 0:06:45.200 --> 0:06:49.839 we should introduce our guest. Um, alright, great, I don't 0:06:49.839 --> 0:06:52.880 want to keep talking about her while she's here. I mean, 0:06:52.960 --> 0:06:55.040 for the record, we've heard her giggling in the background 0:06:55.080 --> 0:06:57.159 for at least five minutes. Yeah, well, I've been trying 0:06:57.160 --> 0:07:01.760 to introduce her. I also quietly choked and ran away. 0:07:02.960 --> 0:07:06.760 She had a whole choking thing. If you catch it, 0:07:06.920 --> 0:07:14.280 go back. It's the easter egg in the episode Find it. Um. Yeah, 0:07:14.360 --> 0:07:17.280 so we have here Jackie and Ruise, my co author 0:07:17.480 --> 0:07:24.720 in There's No Manual and also illustrator of everything. Um. Yeah, 0:07:25.600 --> 0:07:30.320 those illustrations are incredible and I love it. Thank you 0:07:30.360 --> 0:07:33.440 so much. I always look at all the pictures first 0:07:33.520 --> 0:07:37.080 before I read a word. Well, that makes me feel 0:07:38.000 --> 0:07:41.960 superior to your wife, and that basically my goal in 0:07:42.000 --> 0:07:44.360 doing this whole thing, So thank you very much for that. 0:07:44.960 --> 0:07:48.360 And all the illustrations are a lot of like vaginas 0:07:48.400 --> 0:07:52.440 and boobs, which I think and when anyone like passing 0:07:52.480 --> 0:07:54.280 by the book who picks it up, I think is 0:07:54.480 --> 0:07:57.440 going to be a little taken in by that. Yeah, 0:07:57.520 --> 0:08:02.600 I think they are compelling. I think we have we 0:08:02.600 --> 0:08:06.000 we have dedicated a shocking amount of time to talking 0:08:06.040 --> 0:08:09.560 about the vagina illustrations in your book between last week 0:08:09.600 --> 0:08:13.760 and this week? Did we? I guess? This week Beth 0:08:13.800 --> 0:08:17.200 found out that I used that I've been drawing vaginas 0:08:17.200 --> 0:08:20.040 with spiderwebs coming out of them since I was a teenager. 0:08:21.680 --> 0:08:25.720 What seemed really offended that I didn't disclose that earlier. Well, 0:08:25.760 --> 0:08:29.840 I was to find out because last Christmas I sent 0:08:29.920 --> 0:08:33.520 Jackie a needle point I did of a human spider 0:08:33.559 --> 0:08:38.040 woman with a spiderweb coming out of her vagina and 0:08:39.559 --> 0:08:41.680 about her wall. And she never told me that she, 0:08:41.760 --> 0:08:45.319 as a child would draw spider women, because I just 0:08:45.320 --> 0:08:49.400 decided that it was like ancestral knowledge that you already 0:08:49.559 --> 0:08:52.760 had about me if you were to make me an 0:08:52.760 --> 0:08:57.440 embroidery like that apropos of nothing. Yeah, there's no part 0:08:57.440 --> 0:09:01.400 of you that was like, oh weird, I relate to this, 0:09:01.520 --> 0:09:03.840 Let me share it. You're just like, oh, yes, of course, 0:09:03.960 --> 0:09:10.040 she was like, and like when check out my portfolio, 0:09:10.440 --> 0:09:13.640 she was like she never acknowledged that, like, oh, this 0:09:13.760 --> 0:09:20.080 speaks to me on a soul level. Did so? How 0:09:20.080 --> 0:09:24.239 old are you when you started drawing, drawing cobwebs in vaginas? 0:09:24.480 --> 0:09:27.360 I think I was about sixteen. It was always the 0:09:27.400 --> 0:09:29.960 same pose of like a woman laying down and all 0:09:30.000 --> 0:09:31.680 you could see was like her belly and her boobs 0:09:31.679 --> 0:09:34.880 and then like her spread out legs and then a 0:09:35.000 --> 0:09:37.880 spider web emerging from inside of her vagina. Was like, 0:09:38.360 --> 0:09:42.079 that was my phone doodle for some reason? Was there 0:09:43.160 --> 0:09:45.800 because I could see I could see I could see that, 0:09:48.960 --> 0:09:51.200 I could see the tone of a drawing like that 0:09:51.320 --> 0:09:53.720 going a lot of different directions. I could see it 0:09:53.760 --> 0:09:57.000 as a like horror. I could see it as sad, 0:09:57.600 --> 0:10:00.880 I could see it as empowering. Um, how would you 0:10:00.920 --> 0:10:05.960 describe the tone of these illustrations. Um, I think they 0:10:05.960 --> 0:10:10.760 were expository. Mostly they were sort of like a medical 0:10:12.640 --> 0:10:18.600 a medical exploration. In my mind, I'm picturing a Shell 0:10:18.760 --> 0:10:26.960 Silverstein like quality. That's exactly what I was picturing. Yeah, 0:10:27.240 --> 0:10:34.000 I want to be Shelley Silverstein. And um, it involves 0:10:34.040 --> 0:10:45.439 a lot of vaginas Shelly, Shelly Silverste. I feel like shell. Yeah. UM, 0:10:45.480 --> 0:10:49.559 I love this. This made a thing of something your 0:10:49.840 --> 0:10:53.840 daughter told me tonight on FaceTime. UM, I love her 0:10:53.880 --> 0:10:58.160 passion for snakes. Yes, um use me like my I 0:10:58.240 --> 0:11:00.640 love snakes. And then the first thing she told me, 0:11:00.760 --> 0:11:03.120 I don't remember exactly what she said, but she was 0:11:03.160 --> 0:11:09.479 fascinated with, um, um, like the insides of snakes, like 0:11:09.480 --> 0:11:11.319 like the spine of snakes. Oh, she wants to be 0:11:11.360 --> 0:11:13.880 a veterinarian for snakes only. And she said, I want 0:11:13.880 --> 0:11:16.880 to see what they look like inside. She said, I 0:11:16.960 --> 0:11:18.840 want to be That's her like when people ask her 0:11:18.880 --> 0:11:20.280 what she wants to be, she says, I want to 0:11:20.320 --> 0:11:22.280 be a reptile veterinarian because I want to know what 0:11:22.320 --> 0:11:27.880 the inside of a snake looks like it's a very 0:11:28.000 --> 0:11:35.599 like psychopath esque, fascinating but healthy. She and you know what, 0:11:36.000 --> 0:11:39.000 she does, have like a weird connection with snakes. And 0:11:39.000 --> 0:11:41.880 we went into a pet store and there was like 0:11:41.920 --> 0:11:45.320 a a few pythons up on this top tank and 0:11:45.320 --> 0:11:47.960 I had to lift her up to look into the tank, 0:11:48.320 --> 0:11:51.240 and the snake just lifted up its head and went 0:11:51.880 --> 0:11:54.319 it just like in Harry Potter and was staring at 0:11:55.280 --> 0:11:59.160 h She is totally in Slytherin. She's a Slytherin with 0:11:59.200 --> 0:12:03.480 Griffin door rye sing, Huh do you want to talk 0:12:03.520 --> 0:12:06.600 about astrology now? Well, I just want to say, making 0:12:06.679 --> 0:12:09.880 astrology into a Harry Potter analogy is the first time 0:12:09.920 --> 0:12:13.200 I've been mildly interested in it. Um. I stole that 0:12:13.280 --> 0:12:15.840 from my friend Gina. I just want to admit that 0:12:15.840 --> 0:12:20.520 that's She says she's a slither with Hufflepuff rising, and 0:12:20.559 --> 0:12:24.880 I think it's really good. Yeah. I think I might 0:12:24.920 --> 0:12:28.280 be a Griffin door with a Hufflepuff rising. I think 0:12:28.320 --> 0:12:35.360 you might be a hufflepuff with a Griffin door rising. Wow, 0:12:35.440 --> 0:12:39.760 she just read you well. As I was saying that, 0:12:40.400 --> 0:12:42.600 in my mind, the first thing I thought is Beth 0:12:42.640 --> 0:12:46.720 would say the opposite of what I'm saying. And now 0:12:46.760 --> 0:12:50.400 you're talking to two best I really am, I'm really 0:12:52.600 --> 0:12:55.720 talking to the two of you. Is great, it's exciting, 0:12:55.720 --> 0:12:57.960 it's exhilarating, and it's also the worst thing in the 0:12:58.000 --> 0:13:04.680 world because you ready hopelessly I mean when I'm just 0:13:04.760 --> 0:13:10.959 alone with Beth listeners, No, I'm hopelessly outnumbered. Yeah, I 0:13:11.000 --> 0:13:13.280 don't know what we're counting. I take up so much 0:13:13.280 --> 0:13:18.200 air and that's just Yeah, you take up more presents 0:13:18.280 --> 0:13:21.800 than I do, even though I use ten times more words. Literally, 0:13:21.840 --> 0:13:24.800 you cut every segment with you making a really funny 0:13:24.880 --> 0:13:34.080 joke and then cut it real quick. Oh somebody noticed, Yeah, 0:13:34.120 --> 0:13:35.840 well that's not the one that's going to give a 0:13:35.920 --> 0:13:38.199 ham fisted button so that we can move on to 0:13:38.280 --> 0:13:41.199 the next thing. No, I've been trying to move on 0:13:41.280 --> 0:13:43.640 for the last like five minutes, and you're not picking 0:13:43.720 --> 0:13:47.480 up on the We gotta sell it. I don't understand 0:13:47.520 --> 0:13:50.160 that you're done unless you mug to the audience. Clear 0:13:50.200 --> 0:13:54.200 your cash. Yeah, you should just be ending it with 0:13:54.240 --> 0:14:03.199 one of our catchphrases like clear cash anyway, clear your cash. 0:14:03.280 --> 0:14:09.120 Oh boy, um boy, this is going very well. Um 0:14:09.160 --> 0:14:12.640 so can you tell us, Um, I'm sad I won't 0:14:12.640 --> 0:14:15.400 be able to be at this at this event tomorrow night. 0:14:15.760 --> 0:14:21.920 What can folks expect? Um, I'm redirecting it away from 0:14:22.080 --> 0:14:25.000 me being the target. The two of us will be, 0:14:26.120 --> 0:14:29.240 There'll be books available. They'll also just be an event 0:14:29.440 --> 0:14:34.840 available at a lesbian bar to the event. An event available, 0:14:34.880 --> 0:14:37.160 is it the same event that is your event? Or 0:14:37.200 --> 0:14:40.200 is there another event available? I started to stress out 0:14:40.200 --> 0:14:42.280 about like what we needed to do to plan and 0:14:42.480 --> 0:14:46.920 prepare for our party, and like asked the guy at 0:14:47.200 --> 0:14:50.200 chop Suity Books who organized it for Asward, what I 0:14:50.200 --> 0:14:52.200 should do, like what my jobs were, and he was like, 0:14:52.600 --> 0:14:54.720 you don't have to do anything. And then Beth was like, 0:14:55.080 --> 0:14:58.800 I feel like at a lesbian bar, the less we do, 0:14:58.920 --> 0:15:04.480 the cooler it will be. Well. I also think, like 0:15:04.880 --> 0:15:08.640 I when you do events in other states, no matter 0:15:08.720 --> 0:15:11.600 how much communication you have with the people involved, sometimes 0:15:11.800 --> 0:15:15.000 you're like, you just don't know until you get there 0:15:15.040 --> 0:15:18.680 if there's a microphone or stage or even a room available. 0:15:18.840 --> 0:15:22.520 Like so, I sometimes think, you know, you don't want 0:15:22.560 --> 0:15:24.920 to you want to have a loose plan. Yeah, we 0:15:24.920 --> 0:15:27.480 don't know what's going to happen. You should definitely come 0:15:31.080 --> 0:15:33.600 and we're getting tattoos of tits snakes on our arms 0:15:33.680 --> 0:15:38.120 right before we go. Yeah, I'm sorry what you'll see 0:15:38.160 --> 0:15:45.120 when I get home? Did you say tits snakes? Yeah? 0:15:45.200 --> 0:15:47.200 I mean if you will want a clue, you'll have 0:15:47.280 --> 0:15:50.800 to leave through the pages of There's no manual, honest 0:15:50.840 --> 0:15:53.960 and gory wisdom about having a baby. Oh yes, I 0:15:54.000 --> 0:15:56.560 do know the tits snakes. But when you said tits snakes, 0:15:56.640 --> 0:16:02.360 I pictured first um, a snake with just a big 0:16:02.800 --> 0:16:05.920 set of boobs, and then secondly I thought of a 0:16:06.040 --> 0:16:10.920 chest that had two snakes coming out of it. There 0:16:11.840 --> 0:16:14.640 it's like, I have to tell you an unrelated story 0:16:15.040 --> 0:16:20.320 today Tonight Rockets stop the presses. Jackie' daughter Rocket Tonight said, 0:16:21.200 --> 0:16:25.320 she said, Beth, I like your voice. And then she 0:16:25.520 --> 0:16:31.080 was like, she was like, you're always like cool, and 0:16:31.200 --> 0:16:38.640 she goes, it's like you're tired. And it was the 0:16:38.680 --> 0:16:43.120 biggest read I've ever experienced in life. And she stayed 0:16:43.120 --> 0:16:46.800 on her for ten minutes. Anytime best said anything, she 0:16:46.880 --> 0:16:51.440 was like, there you're doing it again. Boy, Now you 0:16:51.480 --> 0:16:55.360 know what it's like to be married to you. She's smart, 0:16:55.640 --> 0:17:02.160 she's good. Boy. I want to see her and brand 0:17:02.240 --> 0:17:05.600 hang out. I can tell right out like she can. 0:17:05.840 --> 0:17:08.399 She can hang and she's one person. I think you 0:17:08.480 --> 0:17:16.240 could just destroy him. Yeah, she's a dumb He's gonna 0:17:16.840 --> 0:17:21.480 you know, he'll argue any point and she'll subvert it 0:17:21.520 --> 0:17:24.320 and make him instantly realize that. I think he would 0:17:24.320 --> 0:17:27.960 fall in line pretty quickly. I think he would have to. Yeah, 0:17:28.000 --> 0:17:30.359 he could tell right away, like when he was like, 0:17:30.400 --> 0:17:32.679 how old are you? He could already tell, like he 0:17:32.760 --> 0:17:36.280 was like, she's lost two teeth. All right, you're my 0:17:36.480 --> 0:17:41.159 you're my intellectual. He's like, I can work with this. 0:17:41.240 --> 0:17:44.640 I'll just say I've lost teeth. They're in the back. 0:17:44.720 --> 0:17:54.440 You can't see him, that's all um. Anyway, should we 0:17:54.480 --> 0:17:57.680 talk about the book? Yeah, you know what. You know what, though, 0:17:58.000 --> 0:18:00.800 let's take a little break, let's hear delightful ad and 0:18:00.800 --> 0:18:02.359 then we'll come back. You know what, I'm not going 0:18:02.400 --> 0:18:22.080 to button this segment. You are all right? And that 0:18:22.240 --> 0:18:27.080 was time for everyone's favorite segment, segment, segment segment. Did 0:18:27.119 --> 0:18:31.359 you notice that my wife and Jackie wrote a book 0:18:31.359 --> 0:18:33.240 still and we're excited about it and it came out 0:18:33.280 --> 0:18:40.040 today every one's favorite segment. Guys, It literally is coming 0:18:40.080 --> 0:18:42.639 out today, which is very exciting, and I have a 0:18:42.680 --> 0:18:45.280 copy of the book in my hand, so I thought 0:18:45.280 --> 0:18:47.960 i'd play a game called flip to a random page 0:18:47.960 --> 0:18:52.400 and ask you about it. Sounds good, that sounds delightful, 0:18:53.119 --> 0:18:59.640 all right? Oh, I flipped to a good page. Pregnancy sex. Oh, 0:19:00.080 --> 0:19:03.320 Nancy sex. That's an illustration of my vibrator that you're 0:19:03.359 --> 0:19:06.919 looking at right now. Does your vibrator have little googly 0:19:07.000 --> 0:19:09.760 eyes and it looks like it's shouting with its alarms. 0:19:10.920 --> 0:19:13.400 We had a lot of good back and forth where 0:19:13.400 --> 0:19:19.360 I would assign Jackie illustrations. I would say, hey, could 0:19:19.440 --> 0:19:22.960 you do a little vibrator person, because it would be 0:19:22.960 --> 0:19:26.240 great if you just had like a little illustration right there. 0:19:26.480 --> 0:19:28.320 And then when we handled in the manuscript and there 0:19:28.359 --> 0:19:30.600 was like a hundred and nine illustrations and they were 0:19:30.640 --> 0:19:33.480 like your contracts said thirty five. Why did you do this? 0:19:35.359 --> 0:19:38.600 It was all Beth made me do it. I like, 0:19:38.720 --> 0:19:43.719 the little vibrator looks like it's going hi Hi, It's 0:19:43.760 --> 0:19:51.200 it's shouting to the heavens. This is this is fun 0:19:51.200 --> 0:19:55.720 where I'm just going to describe illustrations to people. Um, 0:19:55.760 --> 0:19:59.640 there's there's uh, there's two there's two segments. Chapter headings 0:19:59.760 --> 0:20:03.439 in Pregnancy Sex Clutorial pleasure is your friend, and the 0:20:03.440 --> 0:20:06.520 other one is Orgasms are different. I'm just gonna say 0:20:06.640 --> 0:20:12.920 right now, I'm intrigued by orgasms are different. Will you explain? Well, 0:20:12.960 --> 0:20:15.399 I think you know. One thing we talked about in 0:20:15.440 --> 0:20:19.080 the book is that when your pregnancy hormones funk up 0:20:19.119 --> 0:20:23.320 your whole body, it's kind of unpredictable how anything's going 0:20:23.359 --> 0:20:27.679 to affect any one person. So someone one person might 0:20:27.720 --> 0:20:30.000 be like vomiting all day and another person might not 0:20:30.119 --> 0:20:32.439 have that much. It may be orgasming all day, might 0:20:32.440 --> 0:20:36.000 be orgasming all day. So you have like increased hormones, 0:20:36.040 --> 0:20:39.439 increased blood flow. And for some people those kind of 0:20:39.480 --> 0:20:44.400 things can equal too much sensitivity or a newfound sensitivity 0:20:44.400 --> 0:20:47.639 that they wished they'd had, or a newfound desire that 0:20:47.760 --> 0:20:51.240 they wish they'd had before pregnancy. So it's like it 0:20:51.280 --> 0:20:54.760 can go all different kinds of ways. And then um, 0:20:54.800 --> 0:20:57.280 when you have a person, you know, weighing down your 0:20:57.280 --> 0:21:02.520 whole uterus, your orgasms cans start to feel different. Thing, 0:21:02.600 --> 0:21:06.719 that's the end. Yeah, they could be painful um or 0:21:07.040 --> 0:21:11.560 trigger contractions, or they can be just shittier than regular 0:21:11.680 --> 0:21:14.119 orgasms where they can feel like a hiccup and you 0:21:14.160 --> 0:21:21.560 feel cheated at the end of it. Yeah. Interesting, that 0:21:21.640 --> 0:21:25.280 sounded sarcastic, but it genuinely was. All Right, you guys, 0:21:25.280 --> 0:21:28.920 ready for another random segment? All right, here we go. 0:21:29.040 --> 0:21:31.920 Should I have a home birth? This is a flow chart? 0:21:34.400 --> 0:21:37.199 Um so, jackiees are a really cool flow chart of 0:21:38.320 --> 0:21:40.560 whether you should have a home birth or not? And 0:21:41.080 --> 0:21:43.760 I mean you have in front of you. It starts with, 0:21:43.800 --> 0:21:48.040 would you prefer a midwife or a doctor? Um? A midwife. 0:21:48.359 --> 0:21:51.960 If a midwife is appealing to you, then it says noise, 0:21:52.760 --> 0:21:59.800 is your pregnancy low risk? Uh? No, okay, this is great, 0:21:59.840 --> 0:22:03.600 but so let's segment to this a beth, Um, Jackie, 0:22:04.800 --> 0:22:07.359 did you you had did you had a you had 0:22:07.400 --> 0:22:10.360 a home Do you had a home birth? I had 0:22:10.440 --> 0:22:13.240 to home birth. I had one home birth in Brooklyn 0:22:13.440 --> 0:22:16.640 on the fifth floor of an apartment building in Flatbush. 0:22:17.560 --> 0:22:21.000 And um, then when I moved to Richmond, I had 0:22:21.000 --> 0:22:24.240 a home birth in a regular house where I wasn't 0:22:24.280 --> 0:22:26.240 afraid the pool was going to break through the floor, 0:22:26.280 --> 0:22:31.400 and in my old tenement. Um so I really run 0:22:31.480 --> 0:22:35.199 the gamut of home births. Boy, you saying that just 0:22:35.280 --> 0:22:38.320 now because we we were planning a home birth for 0:22:38.400 --> 0:22:41.200 Brian that didn't pan out and we ended up at 0:22:41.200 --> 0:22:44.760 the hospital at the birthing center, but that was for 0:22:44.800 --> 0:22:46.960 some reason. The thing I couldn't get out of my 0:22:47.000 --> 0:22:51.240 head is the idea that this tub would burst and 0:22:51.680 --> 0:22:54.720 just a full tub of water would leak down into 0:22:54.720 --> 0:22:57.119 our neighbors and we had just moved here, and that 0:22:57.119 --> 0:23:00.520 would be the fucking terrified all the time? Can you 0:23:00.560 --> 0:23:05.399 are left to Chris? Yeah, you just live in a 0:23:05.480 --> 0:23:09.440 state of like elevated fear when you live in New York. 0:23:09.520 --> 0:23:12.280 So the idea of a giant body of water being 0:23:12.280 --> 0:23:16.760 suspended instead of your living room is really stressful. That's 0:23:16.760 --> 0:23:20.200 why we got out of town. Um two weeks after 0:23:20.240 --> 0:23:22.480 I gave birth in Brooklyn, I was in the elevator 0:23:22.960 --> 0:23:27.520 holding my newborn baby, and um, this couple was like, oh, 0:23:27.520 --> 0:23:29.199 she's so cute, and I was like thanks, I had 0:23:29.240 --> 0:23:30.840 her in the building and they were like, oh, that 0:23:30.960 --> 0:23:36.640 was you. We thought somebody was getting murdered and they 0:23:36.680 --> 0:23:43.320 didn't do anything. Yeah, just like because they like it 0:23:43.320 --> 0:23:47.199 sounds like murder, but it's but not quite right. So 0:23:47.240 --> 0:23:49.240 we won't call the police as long as they clean 0:23:49.320 --> 0:23:54.320 up after themselves. That was That is something I was 0:23:54.440 --> 0:23:58.480 also really stressing out about. You know, I probably should 0:23:58.480 --> 0:24:01.040 have been more worried about my life and her well being, 0:24:01.080 --> 0:24:04.200 but I was like, should I tell the neighbors that 0:24:04.240 --> 0:24:07.680 this is going to happen in case they hear something? Yeah, 0:24:08.480 --> 0:24:11.400 to dress anyone out. They just don't People don't know 0:24:11.480 --> 0:24:14.919 if you're laboring before you go to the hospital or 0:24:15.000 --> 0:24:18.000 if you're actually pushing a baby out, Like, how would 0:24:18.000 --> 0:24:23.960 they know the difference? Right? Um? Alright, I flipped to 0:24:23.960 --> 0:24:35.440 another random Patriot right for this do we seem angry? No? Never? Um? 0:24:36.359 --> 0:24:40.639 This page has a I'm drawn to the illustrations no 0:24:40.840 --> 0:24:46.520 pun intended. Uh, here's a circle where it hurts illustration 0:24:46.880 --> 0:24:51.119 a postpartum activity sheet plus safe space to complain. And 0:24:51.160 --> 0:24:54.680 it's a lovely drawing of a naked woman in sort 0:24:54.720 --> 0:25:00.320 of a arms and legs splayed type of anatomical diet Graham. 0:25:00.359 --> 0:25:02.720 It's kind of the same position where the spider webs 0:25:02.720 --> 0:25:07.440 would come out of the vagina. I really see it now, um. 0:25:07.480 --> 0:25:09.720 And then there's a lot of labels and arrows, like, 0:25:09.760 --> 0:25:13.760 for example, there's an arrow pointed to to the crotch 0:25:13.920 --> 0:25:19.440 that just says destroyed. Question mark um fired and then 0:25:19.600 --> 0:25:23.520 the boobs have flames coming off of them, and there's 0:25:23.760 --> 0:25:27.399 a label that says hashtag fire tits but fires with 0:25:27.480 --> 0:25:35.800 a y exclamation fire fast because we're millennials. Yeah. Do 0:25:35.800 --> 0:25:38.399 you feel like this book came out too late to 0:25:38.480 --> 0:25:45.080 really to really hit the full potential of a firefest joke? Yeah, 0:25:45.200 --> 0:25:48.280 well we didn't. If we had had a heads of 0:25:48.480 --> 0:25:50.720 the firefest was going to happen ahead of time, we 0:25:50.760 --> 0:25:53.479 would have time the release of the book for that 0:25:53.560 --> 0:25:59.120 joke to hit. I mean, this is a segment where 0:25:59.280 --> 0:26:04.760 I critique the book. Um, other labels. Brain seems gone 0:26:04.960 --> 0:26:09.639 up here? Uh, skin of a corpse pointing to the face, Uh, 0:26:09.760 --> 0:26:16.000 team level acne new third eye never stops crying. Well, boy, 0:26:16.080 --> 0:26:19.719 that's deep. I added that one. In the final edit, 0:26:20.960 --> 0:26:29.119 things got considerably darker. That's that's the one where I laughed. 0:26:29.119 --> 0:26:31.880 I'm like, oh, that's funny. And then there's layers. There's 0:26:31.960 --> 0:26:36.200 layers to that joke. Yeah, and I get it. Sometimes 0:26:36.240 --> 0:26:39.000 you're writing a book for three years while your children 0:26:39.480 --> 0:26:43.200 tuget your sleeves the whole time, and then you get 0:26:43.200 --> 0:26:51.760 a divorce. Uh yeah, um, every time, I may every time, 0:26:51.760 --> 0:26:53.840 you guys say something really heavy. I'm about to make 0:26:53.880 --> 0:26:56.560 a big trans shift into a new topic, and it's 0:26:56.600 --> 0:27:03.280 just because I'm reading this. Um never mind saucage fingers 0:27:02.440 --> 0:27:07.360 A nope, nothing, I don't have time. Creaky and painful joints. 0:27:07.800 --> 0:27:14.880 Hair is falling out in clumps, walking hurts, ankles. Ankles 0:27:14.880 --> 0:27:19.240 are gone forever question mark with a little rest in peace, tombstone. 0:27:20.240 --> 0:27:23.200 This might be my favorite page so far. I don't 0:27:23.200 --> 0:27:27.040 know why. It's really satisfying to hear other people laugh 0:27:27.080 --> 0:27:34.120 at your jokes. It's kind of weird to hear illustrations narrated, though, 0:27:34.200 --> 0:27:37.520 as if this is like a listening service. It does 0:27:37.720 --> 0:27:44.199 feelbility training. Oh my god, in another life, that's my 0:27:44.240 --> 0:27:49.960 perfect job, miling and she doesn't look happy, but she 0:27:50.040 --> 0:27:53.480 doesn't look sad either. It's like she's doing her job 0:27:53.720 --> 0:27:57.280 and that and it's fine. That's actually the description of 0:27:57.320 --> 0:28:09.000 the book. That's um. Oh oh god, I found the 0:28:09.000 --> 0:28:14.040