WEBVTT - Conversations with Danielle Ruhl from Love is Blind 0:00:02.160 --> 0:00:06.680 This is Conversationous with Olivia Jade and I Heart Radio podcast. 0:00:08.039 --> 0:00:11.600 Hello everybody, you welcome back to another episode of Conversations. 0:00:11.800 --> 0:00:14.640 I am your host, Olivia Jade, and today I have 0:00:14.680 --> 0:00:18.040 a special guest from a reality TV show on Netflix 0:00:18.040 --> 0:00:21.560 that I've actually recently binge watched. I didn't actually finish 0:00:21.600 --> 0:00:24.479 it yet, though, and so I think there might be 0:00:24.600 --> 0:00:27.440 some spoiler alerts because I'm feeling very nosy and I 0:00:27.520 --> 0:00:30.040 don't know when I'll get another opportunity to interview one 0:00:30.040 --> 0:00:35.160 of the cast members. But please welcome Danielle from Love 0:00:35.240 --> 0:00:41.600 Is Blind. Well, thank you so much for coming on today. 0:00:41.760 --> 0:00:45.000 I absolutely loved watching your journey on the show along 0:00:45.040 --> 0:00:47.960 with others. How was that experience? Like, where are you from? 0:00:48.000 --> 0:00:49.800 Do you want to just give like an overall background 0:00:49.840 --> 0:00:52.960 and then maybe explain how you even got the opportunity 0:00:53.000 --> 0:00:56.120 to be on the show. Yeah, it's it's crazy. I'm 0:00:56.160 --> 0:00:59.640 from a small town UM in Illinois, so this is 0:01:00.520 --> 0:01:05.160 a great experience UM to go through. So you're up 0:01:05.200 --> 0:01:08.800 in Ottawa, Illinois, UM, which is a relatively against small town, 0:01:09.280 --> 0:01:11.760 and then went to the University of Illinois to study 0:01:11.760 --> 0:01:15.480 advertising and I now work UM as an associate marketing 0:01:15.480 --> 0:01:19.319 director UM, which I really enjoy so again, like it's 0:01:19.360 --> 0:01:22.280 so crazy to now be in UM this kind of 0:01:22.400 --> 0:01:25.840 entertainment space. But there was a couple of different things, 0:01:25.880 --> 0:01:27.640 and I know I kind of spoke about them on 0:01:27.680 --> 0:01:30.000 the show that kind of had me gravitate towards this 0:01:30.080 --> 0:01:33.800 experience UM. And the main one is that I actually 0:01:33.800 --> 0:01:37.480 have like a certain personality type that I naturally gravitate towards, 0:01:37.959 --> 0:01:41.279 and even like going through dating apps, it's so hard 0:01:41.400 --> 0:01:43.280 for me to get a sense of like who I 0:01:43.280 --> 0:01:45.840 would want to go on a date with, because I'm 0:01:45.840 --> 0:01:48.280 more attracted to someone's energy than I am the way 0:01:48.280 --> 0:01:50.800 that they look. And most of the dates that I 0:01:50.840 --> 0:01:52.560 ended up going on I almost said no to just 0:01:52.640 --> 0:01:55.240 based on the pictures that they took and not even 0:01:55.320 --> 0:01:57.760 necessarily like looks. It's like, oh, this person has a 0:01:57.800 --> 0:02:00.520 certain dress, they might not necessarily be interested in me, 0:02:00.640 --> 0:02:03.200 or this person all the time I don't do that 0:02:03.200 --> 0:02:06.280 they might not be, and then going out with them, 0:02:06.280 --> 0:02:09.400 you realize it doesn't even matter. It's like the personality 0:02:09.680 --> 0:02:13.760 UM kind of that I that I gravitate towards, but 0:02:13.840 --> 0:02:16.440 that personality ended up being like me. So I'm the 0:02:16.480 --> 0:02:19.320 only dating people that were like me, and it obviously 0:02:19.520 --> 0:02:21.880 never worked out. And so one of the coolest things 0:02:21.919 --> 0:02:25.000 about the Pods was not only like not seeing someone 0:02:25.080 --> 0:02:28.040 or basing it off their apperiance. It was dating fifteen people, 0:02:28.400 --> 0:02:31.800 finding people that acted like me, but gravitating towards the 0:02:31.800 --> 0:02:34.440 one person who was almost like completely opposite. And I 0:02:34.480 --> 0:02:36.080 was like, oh my gosh, this is what I should 0:02:36.080 --> 0:02:39.040 have been going for this entire time, and that's why ultimately, 0:02:39.080 --> 0:02:42.080 like we are still going strong. Yeah, you guys are 0:02:42.080 --> 0:02:45.040 one of the few couples left right, Yeah, there were 0:02:45.040 --> 0:02:47.880 two couples that got married and we're still together. Yeah. Wow, 0:02:47.919 --> 0:02:50.640 congrats on that. So after this experience, do you believe 0:02:50.720 --> 0:02:57.120 like that an emotional connection is more important than physical attraction? Oh? Completely, completely. 0:02:57.160 --> 0:02:59.200 I think like the more you get to know someone, 0:02:59.320 --> 0:03:02.480 the more attract If they've become totally in every relationship 0:03:02.520 --> 0:03:05.320 I have had, that kind of just naturally happened. But 0:03:06.560 --> 0:03:09.200 having that without seeing them and then seeing them, it's 0:03:09.240 --> 0:03:11.280 just like they're already attractive to you, right, I feel like, yeah, 0:03:11.280 --> 0:03:13.520 once you also know somebody, you find them attractive, so 0:03:13.600 --> 0:03:16.239 that even like anything they do becomes attractive. And I 0:03:16.560 --> 0:03:18.680 actually relate to that a lot, Um, how did you 0:03:18.720 --> 0:03:20.520 get How did you even find the show? How did 0:03:20.560 --> 0:03:24.600 that come about? Yeah? So, um it was actually someone 0:03:24.639 --> 0:03:27.760 who I talked with on Instagram who didn't really even 0:03:27.840 --> 0:03:30.440 give what the show was, just asked if I would 0:03:30.480 --> 0:03:33.160 be interested, gave a high level overview of kind of 0:03:33.160 --> 0:03:35.680 what the experience was like. Um, so I had a 0:03:35.720 --> 0:03:38.960 good guess. But after having a couple more conversations about 0:03:39.000 --> 0:03:42.760 just you know, the premise and what they're truly looking for, 0:03:42.880 --> 0:03:45.200 what I'd be truly looking for, I was like, Yeah, 0:03:45.560 --> 0:03:48.040 let's do it. Yeah, for sure, that's awesome. When you 0:03:48.080 --> 0:03:50.640 were on the show, was it hard to avoid picturing 0:03:50.720 --> 0:03:52.640 what other people look like or like even when you 0:03:52.680 --> 0:03:54.680 were talking to your now husband, did you like have 0:03:54.760 --> 0:03:59.080 an idea of what that was? Okay, So, even when 0:03:59.080 --> 0:04:01.560 I'm on work calls and it's not on camera, the 0:04:01.640 --> 0:04:04.600 picture that I have in my head is so I'm 0:04:04.600 --> 0:04:07.880 so wrong. All the time time that I tried to 0:04:07.920 --> 0:04:10.960 picture someone, and so with almost everyone that I was 0:04:11.000 --> 0:04:13.120 like dating, I had this idea of what they looked 0:04:13.120 --> 0:04:16.159 like in my head. Again, completely wrong about everyone. But 0:04:16.279 --> 0:04:18.599 for some reason, the more I tried to picture Nick, 0:04:18.920 --> 0:04:21.120 the more I couldn't and it's like part of me 0:04:21.160 --> 0:04:23.560 didn't want to do that, but part of me did. 0:04:23.960 --> 0:04:25.320 But the more I think about it, I was like, 0:04:25.360 --> 0:04:27.679 I can literally only picture him as this blue wall 0:04:27.920 --> 0:04:29.880 because I'm falling in love with the voice behind it 0:04:30.080 --> 0:04:32.279 and that's what I'm staring at the entire time. So 0:04:32.320 --> 0:04:33.640 it was like it was so weird because I did 0:04:33.800 --> 0:04:36.040 have like a visual of everyone else, but he was 0:04:36.080 --> 0:04:39.120 the one person like I literally cannot even like maybe 0:04:39.440 --> 0:04:41.320 maybe that's a good thing. So then when you saw him, 0:04:41.320 --> 0:04:43.520 it's not like you were like had these expectations, you 0:04:43.560 --> 0:04:46.680 were just like content. Yeah, seeing him for the first 0:04:46.720 --> 0:04:50.960 time was crazy because again, like I had absolutely no 0:04:51.200 --> 0:04:54.039 expectations of what he would look like. But the second 0:04:54.080 --> 0:04:57.000 I saw him, I was like this makes sense, like 0:04:57.400 --> 0:04:59.240 and that was like the weirdest thing where it's like 0:04:59.440 --> 0:05:02.880 it wasn't you know. It was because like again like 0:05:03.080 --> 0:05:05.200 both of us kind of believe that it was fate, 0:05:05.640 --> 0:05:07.960 um and we talked about this for so many different 0:05:07.960 --> 0:05:12.640 reasons um, and just like having that feeling of like, oh, 0:05:12.680 --> 0:05:14.760 like this is exactly what I was expecting and I 0:05:14.800 --> 0:05:17.719 wasn't expecting anything. I was just like that's crazy. Yeah, 0:05:18.000 --> 0:05:20.760 that's so exciting. Though, because like also, you definitely you 0:05:20.839 --> 0:05:22.680 go in with an open mind, but to actually come 0:05:22.720 --> 0:05:24.479 out of it with like a full blown husband was 0:05:24.520 --> 0:05:28.040 probably not your expectation. I was like, I still look, 0:05:28.080 --> 0:05:31.120 I'm like, did this actually what's happening? Am I gonna 0:05:31.120 --> 0:05:34.040 wake up tomorrow? Like when did the show? Like when 0:05:34.279 --> 0:05:36.360 is it? Because I'm assuming it's not real time? Right? 0:05:36.360 --> 0:05:37.920 They have to edit do all this stuff, like did 0:05:37.920 --> 0:05:42.240 you guys shoot this month's prior you got married June? Okay, 0:05:42.240 --> 0:05:44.800 so it's been a minute. Oh wow, you guys have 0:05:44.880 --> 0:05:50.480 been together for a while going strong. Congrats When you 0:05:50.560 --> 0:05:53.000 guys were in like the actual pods, when was the 0:05:53.240 --> 0:05:56.599 like the moment you knew you had feelings for one another? 0:05:56.680 --> 0:05:58.880 Was there like a pinpoint moment in your head where 0:05:58.920 --> 0:06:02.000 you're like, oh, okay, I like this guy. It's and again, 0:06:02.040 --> 0:06:05.479 like I am not an aggressive person. I am a 0:06:05.520 --> 0:06:08.440 girl's girl through and through. I usually shy away if 0:06:08.480 --> 0:06:10.960 other people are interested in someone that I am. And again, 0:06:10.960 --> 0:06:12.840 it does like kind of fall into the insecurities that 0:06:12.880 --> 0:06:15.400 I had. But um, and also I just like I'm 0:06:15.440 --> 0:06:17.400 a people pleaser, So it's like I don't want to 0:06:18.080 --> 0:06:21.480 make other people mad, and so um it was actually 0:06:21.560 --> 0:06:25.240 day two. It was so crazy because the first conversation 0:06:25.279 --> 0:06:27.479 you have is it is a pretty quick date, and 0:06:28.120 --> 0:06:30.280 immediately it's just like you know, and it's kind of 0:06:30.320 --> 0:06:33.720 like you're getting to know each other someone painstakenly slow, 0:06:34.279 --> 0:06:37.440 just because you're like, oh my god, like, oh my god, 0:06:37.480 --> 0:06:40.920 the time's already up. And then our second date, um, 0:06:41.720 --> 0:06:44.400 I cried, like I lead left crying and I was like, 0:06:44.440 --> 0:06:48.840 oh my gosh, I've already not felt this level of emotions. 0:06:49.720 --> 0:06:51.839 It was crazy. I like didn't even believe it. I 0:06:51.880 --> 0:06:54.080 was sitting there like I need to call someone that 0:06:54.120 --> 0:06:56.080 knows me so I can explain how crazy this is. 0:06:56.440 --> 0:06:58.440 They're not going to believe it. But it's like it's 0:06:58.440 --> 0:07:01.960 crazy the like a motions that you can develop. And 0:07:02.040 --> 0:07:04.960 that's why, um I kind of did. Like there was 0:07:05.000 --> 0:07:07.960 a lot of other people interested in Nick and I 0:07:08.279 --> 0:07:11.160 typically again like would shy away and maybe like not 0:07:11.400 --> 0:07:13.800 be aggressive about it, but I was like, I'm so 0:07:13.840 --> 0:07:17.200 confident that I'm just gonna like go all in on him. 0:07:17.440 --> 0:07:21.840 Um So day three actually, um that I decided to 0:07:21.960 --> 0:07:25.600 kind of like already cut everyone off. I know, like 0:07:25.640 --> 0:07:27.360 you're supposed to keep an open mind, but I was 0:07:27.400 --> 0:07:30.960 just like, yeah, I was just like there, it's just 0:07:31.000 --> 0:07:33.480 the way that I felt about him so quickly. I 0:07:33.520 --> 0:07:35.200 was like, there's no way I could catch up with 0:07:35.240 --> 0:07:37.480 anyone else. Yeah, And it was like the next day 0:07:37.520 --> 0:07:40.240 that he kind of gave me the same feelings where 0:07:40.240 --> 0:07:43.200 it's like I wrote actually the same exact letter about 0:07:43.240 --> 0:07:47.240 you last night. So oh my gosh, that's beautiful. You 0:07:47.280 --> 0:08:07.400 guys are like in sync. You two obviously got engaged 0:08:07.480 --> 0:08:10.920 on the show. I always wonder, I'm like, because I 0:08:10.960 --> 0:08:13.320 put myself like, I'm like, if my sister or somebody 0:08:13.320 --> 0:08:14.840 went on the show that I was really close with 0:08:15.000 --> 0:08:18.280 and they met this guy and then they were engaged 0:08:18.360 --> 0:08:20.360 in a few weeks, I'd be like, as a sister, 0:08:20.480 --> 0:08:22.720 super hesitant, I'd be like, wait, do you know this guy? 0:08:22.760 --> 0:08:25.120 How did your parents or your family feel about it? 0:08:26.040 --> 0:08:30.640 So it's interesting because my family on my mom's side, 0:08:30.800 --> 0:08:32.679 they kind of like are the same as me where 0:08:32.679 --> 0:08:36.000 they feed off of energy or my energy. And when 0:08:36.040 --> 0:08:39.800 I um first introduced him to my mom's side, immediately 0:08:39.840 --> 0:08:42.640 they were like, the way that you act around him 0:08:42.720 --> 0:08:46.520 is completely different than anyone else you've ever dated. And 0:08:46.720 --> 0:08:48.560 you know, it was actually like my mom pulled me 0:08:48.600 --> 0:08:51.120 aside once he had left and was like, wow, like 0:08:51.160 --> 0:08:56.280 I really like you two together. So they were like, yeah, 0:08:56.320 --> 0:09:00.240 my dad, he's a little bit more um critical, you know, 0:09:00.320 --> 0:09:03.760 like very hesitant. He's like, Danielle, don't do this, take 0:09:03.800 --> 0:09:06.520 your time, um. But I think ultimately he cares about 0:09:06.559 --> 0:09:08.560 me and didn't want me to end up getting hurt. 0:09:09.760 --> 0:09:11.560 But I had to go with my gut. But the 0:09:11.600 --> 0:09:14.000 one thing that I actually thought was super interesting was 0:09:14.480 --> 0:09:17.280 the absolute most critical person in my entire life about 0:09:17.320 --> 0:09:21.040 everything is my grandma. Like she hates TV. She like 0:09:21.120 --> 0:09:23.679 doesn't watch it. She didn't want me to like expose 0:09:23.720 --> 0:09:26.559 myself to even that. And so when I told her, 0:09:26.600 --> 0:09:29.000 like I'm going on a TV show to to find 0:09:29.000 --> 0:09:32.160 a potential husband, she was mad at me, like legit mad. 0:09:32.720 --> 0:09:34.880 And so I was like, and she tells, she tells 0:09:34.880 --> 0:09:37.920 the truth, Like anyone you her, she will be like, 0:09:38.200 --> 0:09:42.440 I hate him. And so we were actually the most 0:09:42.480 --> 0:09:45.360 nervous to meet my grandma. Um. So Nick and I 0:09:45.400 --> 0:09:47.480 went to meet my grandma and she said the same 0:09:47.480 --> 0:09:49.560 exact thing is my mom's side of the family. Actually, 0:09:49.559 --> 0:09:52.160 She's like, you guys knew what each other was gonna 0:09:52.200 --> 0:09:54.559 do before you even did it and you've only known 0:09:54.600 --> 0:09:56.400 each other for a short amount of time. She's like, 0:09:56.400 --> 0:09:59.080 I've never seen you in that state before. So it's 0:09:59.080 --> 0:10:01.040 just like now that all of my family is getting 0:10:01.040 --> 0:10:06.199 to know them, Yeah, like like it would that's so perfect, 0:10:06.240 --> 0:10:09.760 I know because obviously, like in relationships, it's very important 0:10:09.800 --> 0:10:12.520 for your family to like your significant other, Like it's huge, 0:10:12.600 --> 0:10:15.400 especially if you're getting married to them, um, or you 0:10:15.440 --> 0:10:18.440 are married in this case, Um, did you watch season 0:10:18.800 --> 0:10:21.920 one and was anything like was anything like to be 0:10:22.000 --> 0:10:24.000 expected or did anything happen on the show that was 0:10:24.000 --> 0:10:27.840 super unexpected or were there surprises? You know there weren't 0:10:27.880 --> 0:10:32.240 necessarily surprises because I did watch the first season, Um, 0:10:32.280 --> 0:10:34.520 I mean the fact that I the biggest surprise for 0:10:34.559 --> 0:10:37.240 me really was the feelings because I was like, yeah, 0:10:37.280 --> 0:10:40.440 you can meet someone, Yeah you can, like I want 0:10:40.440 --> 0:10:42.400 to get to know them better. But again, it's like 0:10:42.440 --> 0:10:45.600 it's crazy the way that they designed the experiment, Like 0:10:47.080 --> 0:10:48.760 it's like the amount of feeling like I can't even 0:10:48.840 --> 0:10:51.960 articulate it because it's like for me, it's still even 0:10:52.040 --> 0:10:55.120 hard to believe that in three days, like I told 0:10:55.200 --> 0:10:57.160 him I love you first too. I've never done that, 0:10:57.600 --> 0:11:02.240 And yeah, and like I've literally only said that to 0:11:02.240 --> 0:11:04.200 one other person that I was in a relationship before, 0:11:04.440 --> 0:11:06.840 and that was just like did I say that? And 0:11:07.040 --> 0:11:08.600 I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it. And 0:11:08.679 --> 0:11:10.800 that's like the thing that was most surprising. It's like, 0:11:12.080 --> 0:11:15.080 holy crap, Like now I see what you know why 0:11:15.120 --> 0:11:18.880 everyone in the first season, you know, developed the relationships 0:11:18.880 --> 0:11:21.760 that they had, um, because like it's again like a 0:11:21.800 --> 0:11:23.720 feeling that no one else will be able to ever 0:11:23.800 --> 0:11:27.600 really yeah unless they go through it. Yeah crazy. Um. 0:11:27.640 --> 0:11:30.040 I also like I really admired how like open you 0:11:30.080 --> 0:11:33.040 were on the show and just talking about like things 0:11:33.080 --> 0:11:35.480 that I maybe wouldn't even like go out and say 0:11:35.480 --> 0:11:37.800 publicly just about myself or how I view myself for 0:11:38.240 --> 0:11:41.320 talking about like your panic attacks, And I really admire that. 0:11:41.360 --> 0:11:43.880 And I thought also he looked like he has like 0:11:43.920 --> 0:11:47.439 a great way to support you. Was that scary at 0:11:47.520 --> 0:11:50.800 first being that open with him and like maybe being 0:11:50.920 --> 0:11:54.760 terrified would that scare him away? And I think it 0:11:54.880 --> 0:11:58.640 was like scary at first, but actually after going through 0:11:58.640 --> 0:12:01.679 the experiment, I found that the more I talked about it, 0:12:02.200 --> 0:12:04.600 the easier it actually does become. Because there are so 0:12:04.640 --> 0:12:08.400 many other people that really and so just realizing that 0:12:08.520 --> 0:12:10.400 you know, you're not alone in the way that you feel, 0:12:10.480 --> 0:12:13.840 and other people might experience similar struggles. Like my definition 0:12:13.840 --> 0:12:15.920 of anxiety is obviously going to be different than a 0:12:15.920 --> 0:12:19.880 different another person's definition of it. Um. But when I 0:12:19.920 --> 0:12:22.360 was growing up, I wouldn't tell anyone, like I would 0:12:22.360 --> 0:12:26.120 completely mask it, um and that ultimately just made me 0:12:26.120 --> 0:12:30.760 feel worse. And now that I've spoken extremely publicly about it, 0:12:30.760 --> 0:12:34.160 it actually allows me to talk about it with anyone. Like, 0:12:34.200 --> 0:12:38.319 even before this came out, I was finding myself more 0:12:38.440 --> 0:12:42.240 vocal about certain things that I felt since a kid. 0:12:42.760 --> 0:12:44.720 And I'm like, and it did help me, and it 0:12:44.760 --> 0:12:46.640 helped others because they're like, oh my god, I feel 0:12:46.640 --> 0:12:48.640 that same way too, and I've never told anyone. And 0:12:48.679 --> 0:12:50.760 I think that that's like one of the most gratifying 0:12:51.400 --> 0:12:54.560 parts about all of this, you know, is like there 0:12:54.559 --> 0:12:56.640 have been like a lot of wonderful people who have 0:12:56.720 --> 0:12:59.440 been like, oh my gosh, I feel like this, Like 0:12:59.760 --> 0:13:03.120 you've made me feel better about myself, and um, like 0:13:03.360 --> 0:13:05.360 I read your posts and I was able to stop 0:13:05.400 --> 0:13:08.080 crying and take up on today and like that's what 0:13:08.160 --> 0:13:10.760 matters to me. Yeah, for sure, Because also, like anytime 0:13:10.760 --> 0:13:13.199 you talk about your own experiences and if you feel 0:13:13.200 --> 0:13:15.800 like that's helping somebody else, it's so fulfilling. And also 0:13:15.840 --> 0:13:18.400 it becomes less scary to talk about because you're like, wow, 0:13:18.440 --> 0:13:23.000 so many other people feel the exact same way as me. Um. 0:13:23.280 --> 0:13:25.319 Was this like a learning curve for him or did 0:13:25.360 --> 0:13:28.320 he have to like was it at first like it 0:13:28.400 --> 0:13:30.600 was just like he really understood and he was patient, 0:13:30.800 --> 0:13:33.360 and UM it just kind of like clicked and worked 0:13:33.400 --> 0:13:35.800 through like supporting one another. Is this something you guys 0:13:35.800 --> 0:13:39.280 have had to adjust and work through as you've been together. 0:13:40.360 --> 0:13:43.520 This is something that we're constantly working on, um, because again, 0:13:43.559 --> 0:13:46.640 like in one instance, I might need to just go 0:13:46.679 --> 0:13:49.120 and be alone. In one instance, I might need him 0:13:49.160 --> 0:13:52.040 to come and hug me, And I can't expect him 0:13:52.040 --> 0:13:53.560 to read my mind of what I need in every 0:13:53.600 --> 0:13:56.360 instance because it is different, UM. And so as we're 0:13:56.360 --> 0:13:58.320 going through different things, I have to learn to be 0:13:58.320 --> 0:14:00.600 more vocal about like it's not you because I want 0:14:00.640 --> 0:14:02.559 to be alone or you know, I want you to 0:14:02.600 --> 0:14:04.080 come over here and hug me. So I have to 0:14:04.120 --> 0:14:07.600 make sure that like I'm communicating and he's patient with 0:14:08.120 --> 0:14:10.080 you know, if it is kind of like different based 0:14:10.080 --> 0:14:16.319 on what like kind of is inducing the Yeah, I 0:14:16.360 --> 0:14:20.000 totally get what you mean. Yeah that makes sense. I 0:14:20.040 --> 0:14:25.160 feel like obviously they say communication is key for a reason. Um, 0:14:25.240 --> 0:14:28.720 you've been super open about your struggles with body weight 0:14:28.760 --> 0:14:31.840 and body image, and I feel like I have so 0:14:31.920 --> 0:14:35.720 many young girls on my just that listen or watch 0:14:35.760 --> 0:14:38.560 my YouTube videos that are constantly asking questions about that. 0:14:38.680 --> 0:14:41.480 It's again something I really really admire you talking about 0:14:41.520 --> 0:14:44.920 because I know other people can relate. Um, what helps you, 0:14:44.960 --> 0:14:47.000 like or what have you found just in life? Doesn't 0:14:47.000 --> 0:14:48.680 even have to be in your relationship that helps you 0:14:48.720 --> 0:14:52.080 stay positive, just something for like maybe some young girl 0:14:52.240 --> 0:14:56.480 or a little bit older listening. So um, one of 0:14:56.520 --> 0:15:00.840 the things that I've done since um because again, like 0:15:01.720 --> 0:15:04.680 seeing myself talk about myself like that or even like 0:15:05.200 --> 0:15:08.040 realizing that, you know, I was my own worst enemy 0:15:08.200 --> 0:15:11.920 like that was difficult, and like I wanted to start 0:15:11.960 --> 0:15:14.240 viewing myself the way that my friends do, the way 0:15:14.240 --> 0:15:17.320 that my husband does, the way that my family does. 0:15:17.760 --> 0:15:20.000 And so I bought a lot of like self love 0:15:20.080 --> 0:15:24.680 workbooks and it's actually like a guided um like weekly 0:15:25.480 --> 0:15:28.240 past that you have to do, and it learns to 0:15:28.520 --> 0:15:31.720 forgive yourself. It's like, Okay, I hate my stomach, but 0:15:31.760 --> 0:15:33.920 how else would I eat? Oh, my legs are fat, 0:15:33.920 --> 0:15:36.040 but how else would I walk? And it's like really 0:15:36.040 --> 0:15:39.760 really like rewiring your mind to appreciate your body for 0:15:39.840 --> 0:15:41.800 what it is and now what it looks like, but 0:15:41.960 --> 0:15:45.840 also focusing on more who you are um as a person. 0:15:46.440 --> 0:15:49.560 And every time that I'm like feeling low or I 0:15:49.600 --> 0:15:52.840 am feeling insecure, I give myself advice. As I went 0:15:52.880 --> 0:15:55.320 to a friend, so I am am Asian, like one 0:15:55.320 --> 0:15:59.040 of my best friends coming to me and saying something, 0:15:59.160 --> 0:16:00.880 and then I was on to them and it's like, 0:16:01.600 --> 0:16:03.600 this is true, this is true for yourself, this is 0:16:03.640 --> 0:16:06.960 true for everyone. So again, just like being a little 0:16:06.960 --> 0:16:09.440 bit kinder and patient to yourself because it's so much 0:16:09.480 --> 0:16:12.840 more than just what's on the scale or what you're buying. 0:16:13.280 --> 0:16:15.560 Really have to learn to love yourself from within and 0:16:15.560 --> 0:16:18.840 then everything else will kind of yeah easier. I agree 0:16:18.880 --> 0:16:21.200 with that. It's so hard though. It's so hard, especially 0:16:21.240 --> 0:16:23.840 because we're all our own harshest critics. Like you, the 0:16:23.880 --> 0:16:26.600 things you're pointing out about yourself, nobody else in the 0:16:26.640 --> 0:16:29.240 world is thinking about it, guarantee it. But it's like 0:16:29.800 --> 0:16:32.160 it's so impossible to like not feel that way when 0:16:32.160 --> 0:16:36.120 you're in your own shoes. Um. But anyway, did you 0:16:36.160 --> 0:16:39.240 guys watch the show back together? I'm really curious if 0:16:39.240 --> 0:16:43.120 people do that after they've been on a show. Um, 0:16:43.160 --> 0:16:47.760 the good part we did. Um. It was funny. When 0:16:47.760 --> 0:16:53.280 we watched our um proposal. We both cried. Yeah. I 0:16:53.320 --> 0:16:55.360 when I watched the wedding, I stopped like a baby 0:16:55.440 --> 0:16:59.720 for like two hours. It's so sweet. Yeah. Yeah, So 0:16:59.760 --> 0:17:03.240 it's like rewatching those moments and being able to like 0:17:03.520 --> 0:17:06.000 have all of that, you know, to watch the rest 0:17:06.000 --> 0:17:08.080 of our lives. It's like, it's so beautiful. I think 0:17:08.119 --> 0:17:11.760 we might have watched the proposal like twenty times. I 0:17:11.760 --> 0:17:13.800 haven't gone to that part yet. I'm really excited to 0:17:13.800 --> 0:17:17.119 see it. I still have oh wait, the proposal, like 0:17:17.200 --> 0:17:20.720 the like in the bubble, in the bubble, Oh, I 0:17:20.760 --> 0:17:22.800 did see that. I'm way past that part. That was 0:17:22.840 --> 0:17:25.680 really cute. It's really fun to watch. Honestly, I love 0:17:25.720 --> 0:17:27.600 it was there. I don't know if you can even 0:17:27.600 --> 0:17:30.440 answer this, because I don't know how these shows work 0:17:30.480 --> 0:17:32.479 and like what you're allowed to say, well you're not 0:17:32.480 --> 0:17:34.840 allowed to say. But is it really just like straight 0:17:34.880 --> 0:17:38.960 reality or is there like is it like a little 0:17:39.000 --> 0:17:43.199 scripted in the pods. Like it's like, really, we just 0:17:43.280 --> 0:17:45.560 naturally like talked about every single thing that we wanted 0:17:45.600 --> 0:17:49.040 to Like, yeah, we were we were just like and again, 0:17:49.080 --> 0:17:53.280 like you really don't like it's like the cameras aren't visible. 0:17:53.280 --> 0:17:55.320 You're really just like going in and having like whatever 0:17:55.359 --> 0:17:58.199 conversation do you want? And him. That's why it's like 0:17:58.200 --> 0:18:00.440 crazy that him and I like immediately started having these 0:18:00.440 --> 0:18:04.760 deep conversations. But it was because our energies connected like 0:18:04.800 --> 0:18:06.840 so quickly that it was like, I'm going to tell 0:18:06.840 --> 0:18:08.360 you every single thing that's ever happened in my life 0:18:08.359 --> 0:18:10.879 that no one even knows about. It's like, wow, I 0:18:10.880 --> 0:18:14.360 can't relieve I just did that. I'm like National TV. 0:18:14.480 --> 0:18:16.600 I love it. Um, you guys are one of the 0:18:16.600 --> 0:18:19.480 only couples obviously you said they're another couple, but you're 0:18:19.480 --> 0:18:22.280 one of the last men's standing. So what do you 0:18:22.320 --> 0:18:24.320 think the key to that is or why do you 0:18:24.359 --> 0:18:28.640 think maybe you guys are the duo that has made 0:18:28.640 --> 0:18:33.600 it through a lot. I think we just constantly looked 0:18:33.640 --> 0:18:35.679 back to the love that we have for one another 0:18:36.320 --> 0:18:39.399 and restating what caused us to fall in love in 0:18:39.440 --> 0:18:43.320 the first place. Because it is really difficult. Like one 0:18:43.320 --> 0:18:45.959 of the things that I say is there's a reason 0:18:46.119 --> 0:18:50.560 that you know people date because there are certain steps 0:18:50.640 --> 0:18:52.960 that you know, you get to learn about one another. 0:18:53.480 --> 0:18:56.720 And even just like in terms of communication, it's like 0:18:57.680 --> 0:19:00.359 speaking a different language. It's like you don't just actually 0:19:00.440 --> 0:19:02.320 learned how to talk the way that someone else has talk, 0:19:02.440 --> 0:19:05.080 or interpret something that someone else is interpreting, and every 0:19:05.119 --> 0:19:07.800 everyone's definition of one thing is different than another person's. 0:19:08.359 --> 0:19:11.880 Um So I think like this experience specifically does throw 0:19:11.920 --> 0:19:14.879 you into tough situations very quickly that help you like 0:19:14.960 --> 0:19:18.320 also overcome like like some of the arguments that we 0:19:18.400 --> 0:19:21.439 had actually are beneficial because if we wouldn't have had those, 0:19:21.760 --> 0:19:25.120 what if they happened after we were married and so um, 0:19:25.160 --> 0:19:27.400 Like that was beneficial, but also it was like tough 0:19:27.480 --> 0:19:29.840 to go through. But I think like that's one of 0:19:29.840 --> 0:19:33.000 the things that actually did end up helping and then 0:19:33.240 --> 0:19:36.680 um doing like couples therapy after that, because we did 0:19:36.720 --> 0:19:38.800 need the extra help to learn how to communicate with 0:19:38.840 --> 0:19:41.679 each other, learn that each other's definitions of things, and 0:19:41.720 --> 0:19:45.800 so again just like constantly reminding ourselves like hey, like 0:19:45.840 --> 0:19:49.200 we're gonna be okay, We're married, We're stuck together. We're 0:19:49.240 --> 0:19:51.200 gonna get this. None of these stupid fights are are 0:19:51.240 --> 0:19:53.280 worth it, and so it's kind of like keeping that 0:19:53.320 --> 0:19:55.159 in the back of our head. Would you say, you 0:19:55.160 --> 0:19:59.560 guys are still in like the honeymoon phase. You know, 0:20:00.600 --> 0:20:03.520 it's so weird because I feel like we're still like boring, 0:20:03.760 --> 0:20:06.199 not like boring, Like we have a lot of fun together, 0:20:06.880 --> 0:20:12.520 but it's just like so normal. Yeah. I think I 0:20:12.560 --> 0:20:14.200 think the high like we had, like the one day 0:20:14.200 --> 0:20:16.040 of honeymoon fizz is like this one day in Mexico, 0:20:16.119 --> 0:20:18.879 we were just like having so much fun. But I mean, 0:20:18.960 --> 0:20:21.560 I think there are certain times we're having it's just 0:20:21.600 --> 0:20:23.520 like again, like this is such a weird experience and 0:20:23.560 --> 0:20:27.080 it's so hard to articulately totally get it. But it's 0:20:27.119 --> 0:20:30.320 like it's already like he's best friends with my family 0:20:30.520 --> 0:20:32.560