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Speaker 1: I was paid to do nothing for eighty nine days,

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Speaker 1: but today is a deadline.

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Speaker 2: And the company found out. Okop, this is Okayop.

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Speaker 3: I'm Samuel Donner and I'm John Fryt, and we tell

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Speaker 3: the funny of stores on the internet.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we do.

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Speaker 1: And I'm wondering, Sam, what's like the worst instance of

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Speaker 1: you forgetting something? Like, what's been the biggest downfall of

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Speaker 1: you for getting something?

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Speaker 3: I put like a couple thousand dollars in this random

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Speaker 3: crypto bank thing, and I had literally like I had

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Speaker 3: a moment last a couple of weeks ago where I

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Speaker 3: was like, I have forgot my keys and I had

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Speaker 3: no idea where it was. Yeah, and then I remember,

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Speaker 3: oh wait, wait, I think I said one of my books.

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Speaker 3: But I had to like go through every single book

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Speaker 3: to find, oh where I had written down these keys

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Speaker 3: on like a post it note, which is not the

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Speaker 3: most safe method, before holding all of my bank detail,

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Speaker 3: which is basically what one of these things are. So yeah,

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Speaker 3: I totally almost got screwed over. But luckily I found

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Speaker 3: it and I was able to regain that money back.

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Speaker 2: That is good to hear.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's kind of like the equival of like the crypto,

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Speaker 1: stuffing the money in the mattress, right like your tea

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Speaker 1: to the crypto is.

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Speaker 2: Like the cash.

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Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, definitely something I shouldn't do and am going

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Speaker 3: to be better about going forward, hopefully.

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Speaker 1: Well. I have a story about someone who also made

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Speaker 1: a grave mistake, except it wasn't just his own money,

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Speaker 1: it was the company that was at stake.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, those steaks are big. When you're dealing

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Speaker 3: with that fortune. Five hundred big old warm buffet business.

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Speaker 3: Daddy's gonna come with his club and a curb stomp,

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Speaker 3: ready to take action.

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Speaker 1: Bigger steaks and a tea bone a baby, let's get

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Speaker 1: into it. I was paid to do nothing for eighty

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Speaker 1: nine days, but today is the deadline.

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Speaker 2: And the company found out.

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Speaker 3: Oh no, the company found out you were doing your job.

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Speaker 2: Rats foiled again, foiled again. All right.

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Speaker 1: So I've been a student with the public service for

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Speaker 1: about two years now. My position, obviously Maxking specifics, can

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Speaker 1: be best described as a risk analyst, where I'm given

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Speaker 1: fifty to ninety days to review a file, confirm risk

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Speaker 1: slash liability is feasible, and then start drafting the contract.

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Speaker 2: Okay, sounds simple enough.

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Speaker 1: Sound straightforward. The fifty to ninety days depends on the

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Speaker 1: overall value of the work. As a student, I was

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Speaker 1: only seeing the easy, low value workload with a fifty

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Speaker 1: day expectation. I'm pretty good at my job, and I

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Speaker 1: was able to get it completed in five to ten

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Speaker 1: days and would officially submit around twenty five to thirty days.

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Speaker 2: Yes, this is what the typical government worker does. Wait,

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Speaker 2: so they just chill for it all weeks.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like, yo, I finish it in five days,

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Speaker 1: but I'll give it to you in a month.

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Speaker 3: Wow, that is some expert laziness right there.

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Speaker 1: Dude, extremely expert lazy over here. I'm a glad our

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Speaker 1: government is in such good hands.

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Speaker 2: Government efficiency.

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Speaker 1: Maybe now, I thought this was a fantastic plan as

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Speaker 1: I was consistently getting praise for my team for how

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Speaker 1: hard I work. Wow, he's literally doing it so late

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Speaker 1: and consistently getting praise.

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Speaker 3: I love like that is the bar is set so

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Speaker 3: low for government work that you can sit on your

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Speaker 3: ass for two weeks and get paid and people praise

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Speaker 3: you for it.

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Speaker 2: Dude.

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Speaker 1: Rough, Now, the work here is not difficult in any

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Speaker 1: way even worse than only does.

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Speaker 2: He not work for two weeks, but the work isn't hard,

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Speaker 2: it's not difficult, but it is extremely tedious. Okay.

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Speaker 1: For example, tomorrow is likely to consist of three to

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Speaker 1: four hours of hard labor of looking at memes and

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Speaker 1: scrolling through Reddit, and then one hour of actually working,

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Speaker 1: which is eventually extended into a lunch, and then going

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Speaker 1: home early. The one hour still gives me enough time

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Speaker 1: to be productive for the day and submit a few

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Speaker 1: things to my team. Now, let's go over the f

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Speaker 1: up from earlier this morning.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, I'm ready for it.

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Speaker 1: Almost four months ago I was offered a full time

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Speaker 1: intermediate contract with the same team, which I gladly accepted.

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Speaker 1: This just meant that I would receive a similar workload,

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Speaker 1: but with higher values. So you know, it's not as

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Speaker 1: much the you know, low value stuff anymore.

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Speaker 3: So he's going to get the exact same amount of workload,

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Speaker 3: but he's just going to have more time to do it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like this, just like if I f it up,

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Speaker 1: it's it's monumentally important.

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Speaker 2: Before it definitely matter In.

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Speaker 1: My head, I was thinking, fantastic, higher value equals more

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Speaker 1: time to f around and get paid for it. Urrah. Oh.

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Speaker 3: Pea's of mind is uh is not built for employment.

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Speaker 2: Maybe it is, maybe honestly do well.

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Speaker 1: This was certainly not the case this morning as I

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Speaker 1: entered work.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, six forty five am.

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Speaker 1: I walk in and get weird stanky eyes, form my

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Speaker 1: entire team leading into the director's office.

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Speaker 2: Seven am.

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Speaker 1: Finish unpacking my computer files and go for my coffee

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Speaker 1: as per usual. Right seven fifteen am, I get called

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Speaker 1: into the director's office. Let's call him director Jim. Jim

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Speaker 1: and I have spoken maybe twice in all of two years.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, Jim is not very active in the

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Speaker 3: office either, imagining everyone just sitting on their ass like

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Speaker 3: twenty four to seven. Yeah, government work, baby needs to

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Speaker 3: be done twice or not at all.

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Speaker 1: Yes, Jim, Good morning everyone, Opie, did you forget something yesterday?

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Speaker 3: I love like I'm imagining. It's just like a massive

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Speaker 3: Texan dude. Yeah, who's a talent? Uh dimm from Dimsdale limodomes.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah that's odd parents, but that he is even better.

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Speaker 1: Yes, he's a cartoon, but it works for this. Yes,

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Speaker 1: I'm trying my hardest to think. Umm no, I replied.

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Speaker 1: Jim asked again, are you dang diddli sure you didn't

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Speaker 1: forget something, and naturally I start to panic.

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Speaker 2: What the f could I have forgotten? Why is he

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Speaker 2: asking me twice? Why is he even talking to me?

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Speaker 1: Oh no, I asked him if I could go get

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Speaker 1: my notebook because I track everything there and I don't

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Speaker 1: really have the specifics in my head. He refuses and

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Speaker 1: says file xx three. Did you forget you were a

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Speaker 1: signed file x x three, not xx three.

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Speaker 3: The double x x marks the spot that you didn't

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Speaker 3: realize that you.

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Speaker 2: Had to mark.

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Speaker 1: Sucker awkward silence for me because there was this file

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Speaker 1: assigned to me right around the time my full contract signing,

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Speaker 1: and that was one of the highest value files of

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Speaker 1: them all.

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Speaker 3: Oh no, so Op is messing up on literally the

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Speaker 3: super Bowl of government projects.

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Speaker 2: All the files. Now here's the thing.

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Speaker 1: I was given eighty days to complete this when it

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Speaker 1: was assigned, but the deadline is today at two pm.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, you better work fast, Op, Jim.

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Speaker 1: Go get girl up top now, boy boy, I want

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Speaker 1: to see you way got and who I can assign

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Speaker 1: to clean up this nonsense mess. This is also extremely

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Speaker 1: awkward because yes, technically I didn't forget about it, but

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Speaker 1: what I couldn't admit was that the file was actually

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Speaker 1: completely done, like done done?

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Speaker 2: What? Wait?

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Speaker 1: How Jim starts asking me what I even do all day,

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Speaker 1: threatening to get the IT department to see my browsing

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Speaker 1: history and internet activity.

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Speaker 2: No, oh no, no. At this point he's.

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Speaker 1: Gone from his normal pale white cal himself to red

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Speaker 1: in the face, pacing back and forth.

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Speaker 2: Oh gosh.

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Speaker 1: I asked Jim not to involve any of my colleagues,

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Speaker 1: as I assured him I could clean up this mess myself.

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Speaker 1: I get to my laptop and quickly make a new

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Speaker 1: folder for Jim to see, titled XX three. He opens

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Speaker 1: it and it contained just the initial documents my office

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Speaker 1: needs to start a file, but nothing more. So basically

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Speaker 1: like the beginnings of it, but not the whole thing.

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Speaker 2: Right.

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Speaker 1: He lays into asking what I've been doing for the

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Speaker 1: last seventy nine days.

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Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, nothing, nothing, nothing, Obi says, this is

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Speaker 2: a fair question.

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Speaker 1: I asked myself often to be honest, and Jim also

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Speaker 1: said if I don't have this completed by two pm,

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Speaker 1: he will terminate me as I am still on probation.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, the job's on the line, dude, everything's on

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Speaker 2: the line now.

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Speaker 1: Like I said, the entire file from start to finish

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Speaker 1: is already complete.

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Speaker 2: So what's missing?

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Speaker 1: You might ask the necessary approvals and signatures for my

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Speaker 1: team leader and Jim, the director of our office.

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Speaker 2: Oh so he's fine, So he just needs to get

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Speaker 2: the signatures.

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Speaker 1: These signatures usually take a week to get and are

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Speaker 1: required before moving on to finalizing and posting in our system.

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Speaker 1: I finished this entire MOFO in early October, one week

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Speaker 1: after it was assigned to me. Oh my god, but

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Speaker 1: I completely forgot to submit the individual documents as I

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Speaker 1: progressed with it, and that eventually led to me completely

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Speaker 1: forgetting all about it.

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Speaker 2: Now, the thing is like.

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Speaker 3: Actually, like op was an overachiever. It was an overachieved

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Speaker 3: That's why he forgot. But here's the thing. If he

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Speaker 3: tells him that, then it blows his cover. Then they

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Speaker 3: know that the whole time he was doing these like

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Speaker 3: five days and then sitting on them the whole time.

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Speaker 1: So that's why I couldn't show the original files. Oh god,

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Speaker 1: now here we are on Reddit posting about my f

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Speaker 1: up as opposed to actually submitting my own work.

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Speaker 2: So he's literally writing this in the middle of the chaos.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, Oh my god, he's writing it in

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Speaker 3: real time while his boss is yelling at him.

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Speaker 1: For real, It's been almost ninety minutes since and honestly,

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Speaker 1: I'm panicking, bru get back to your work.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I have no clue what to do right now. Do

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Speaker 1: I submit the entire file now to Jim for his signature,

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Speaker 1: completed top to bottom and own my dishonest action, or

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Speaker 1: submit one doc every thirty minutes to seem like it

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Speaker 1: all went out today to get it completed by two pm.

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Speaker 3: Manow, wow, and there is an updates. Oh wait, there's

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Speaker 3: an updates so we get to see what happened.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I took the wise advice from many of you

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Speaker 1: and submitted everything with an apology, so he basically decided

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Speaker 1: to blow his cover for his lax work style. Jim

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Speaker 1: called me back into his office a few minutes after

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Speaker 1: submitting and I explained how I lost track of time.

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Speaker 1: He signed everything and let me leave with a handshake.

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Speaker 1: Thank you for all the assistants, as I would have

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Speaker 1: just continued panicking. Came here to bench, but got a

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Speaker 1: lot of useful advice. Wow, they literally gave him the solution.

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Speaker 2: That's amazing. That's amazing.

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Speaker 3: Shout out to Reddit for actually helping with life advice.

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Speaker 1: That's aw and that's so crazy, Like literally in real time,

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Speaker 1: people came together and he's like, you know what, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna do it this way.

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Speaker 2: Thanks guys. Wow, that's pretty I'm going to do that

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Speaker 2: next time.

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Speaker 3: I want to Reddit for helping us solve our life problems.

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Speaker 3: But you know what else can solve your life problems?

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Speaker 1: Ooh? Subscribing to okay opy, subscribe on YouTube, follow us

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Speaker 1: and Spotify and TikTok if you want to be a

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Speaker 1: real one us on Patreon because you get to talk

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Speaker 1: to us on our discord channel.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you do. Join the family.

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Speaker 1: Casey z Neiforious, Devine Muhammad, Amanda Wilcoms, Connor Desiree, Keegan Simmons,

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Speaker 1: and Kathy Quigley.

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Speaker 2: See us soon