1 00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:12,719 Speaker 1: Hi, guys, Welcome to this episode of Keep It Positive Sweetie. 2 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:16,760 Speaker 1: Today we are talking about my salvation story, and guys, 3 00:00:16,760 --> 00:00:19,600 Speaker 1: it has been a journey, when I tell you, full 4 00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:23,000 Speaker 1: of ups and downs, full of lessons, and full of 5 00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:27,720 Speaker 1: grace which I'm learning to give myself more of. When 6 00:00:27,720 --> 00:00:31,960 Speaker 1: I think about my salvation story, a song comes to mind, 7 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:35,680 Speaker 1: and it's by C. C. Wining's called Alabaster Box. This 8 00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:38,920 Speaker 1: particular song my mom used to play over and over 9 00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:41,479 Speaker 1: again as a kid, and I didn't understand it at 10 00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:45,159 Speaker 1: that age, but having lived and gone through a lot 11 00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:49,960 Speaker 1: of things, I recently listened to it and it hit different. 12 00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:53,199 Speaker 1: I'm talking about tears flowing, and I just couldn't do 13 00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:55,640 Speaker 1: anything but praise God for everything that He's brought me through. 14 00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:58,520 Speaker 1: And a part of it that really sticks out is 15 00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:06,280 Speaker 1: this part she says, you weren't there the night he 16 00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:07,240 Speaker 1: found me. 17 00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:13,640 Speaker 2: You did note what I felt when he wrapped his 18 00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:20,360 Speaker 2: loving arms around me. And you don't know the cost 19 00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:23,080 Speaker 2: of the oil. 20 00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:36,240 Speaker 1: In my bad stood by the part of you don't 21 00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:39,520 Speaker 1: know the cost of the oil in my Alabaster Box 22 00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:42,640 Speaker 1: sent me When I tell you, I was just like, oh, 23 00:01:42,680 --> 00:01:45,480 Speaker 1: my goodness, because people look at your life and they're like, 24 00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:48,520 Speaker 1: oh my God, like everything was just so perfect, and 25 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:51,160 Speaker 1: it was not. It couldn't be further from that. And 26 00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:54,000 Speaker 1: the things that I've gone through, I know it was 27 00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:56,080 Speaker 1: nothing but the grace of God that got me through it. 28 00:01:56,640 --> 00:01:59,680 Speaker 1: But listening to that song, it just reminded me of 29 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:03,840 Speaker 1: god grace and his mercy. And I'm so happy that 30 00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:06,960 Speaker 1: through this journey I've grown closer to Him because it 31 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:09,880 Speaker 1: wasn't always like that. So I'm gonna tell you guys 32 00:02:09,919 --> 00:02:12,040 Speaker 1: a little bit about it. This is a story all 33 00:02:12,080 --> 00:02:17,120 Speaker 1: of that have I got closer to God. The thing 34 00:02:17,160 --> 00:02:19,480 Speaker 1: that brought me to it's multiple things that brought me 35 00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:23,239 Speaker 1: to tears when I listened to that song at this age. 36 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:28,080 Speaker 1: And the first thing was thinking about all the times 37 00:02:28,120 --> 00:02:32,760 Speaker 1: that I've disappointed God and let him down and to 38 00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:38,839 Speaker 1: see how He has blessed me exceedingly and abundantly more 39 00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:41,640 Speaker 1: than I could have ever imagined. To think that like 40 00:02:41,919 --> 00:02:43,880 Speaker 1: the things that I thought we was just so detrimental 41 00:02:43,919 --> 00:02:46,799 Speaker 1: to my relationship with God. He's like, baby, girl, don't 42 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:49,160 Speaker 1: worry about that. I'm still gonna bless you because I 43 00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:53,400 Speaker 1: know that you have a heart of remorse. And I 44 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:59,160 Speaker 1: see God's forgiveness in those things. It was also choices 45 00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:02,560 Speaker 1: that I've made, you know, things that I feel are unforgivable, 46 00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:09,000 Speaker 1: and just knowing and having that gentle reminder that God 47 00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:12,800 Speaker 1: has used the worst of people to get his word 48 00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:18,640 Speaker 1: out and that we all can be used. Yeah, the 49 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:20,760 Speaker 1: thing I believed about God growing up like, I grew 50 00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:24,200 Speaker 1: up in the church from as early as I can remember. 51 00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:28,520 Speaker 1: I was in the choir, I was at Bible study, vacation, 52 00:03:28,639 --> 00:03:32,720 Speaker 1: Bible school, everything, and I was taught that at a 53 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:35,040 Speaker 1: very young age to honor your father and mother as 54 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:37,680 Speaker 1: a kid, and that's how you're going to live a 55 00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:40,480 Speaker 1: long time on the earth. That's what I was taught. 56 00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:44,640 Speaker 1: So I grew up thinking that if I didn't do right, 57 00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:48,080 Speaker 1: then I wasn't going to live long, or that wasn't 58 00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:52,680 Speaker 1: going to have a prosperous life. And I believe that 59 00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:57,000 Speaker 1: the Bible puts things in place for us to have 60 00:03:57,080 --> 00:04:01,920 Speaker 1: some type of disciplinary list of things to live by 61 00:04:02,160 --> 00:04:04,640 Speaker 1: or a way to hey, this is how you need 62 00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:06,920 Speaker 1: some guidelines, this is how you need to live life. 63 00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:10,040 Speaker 1: But sometimes we take it out of context. And I 64 00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:12,600 Speaker 1: think even as my parents like they that's what the 65 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:16,400 Speaker 1: Bible says, but it can be like ingrained in you 66 00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:19,280 Speaker 1: so much that you literally feel like if I don't 67 00:04:19,279 --> 00:04:21,720 Speaker 1: do this right, God is not gonna bless me, like 68 00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:23,720 Speaker 1: I'm not gonna be blessed, And that could be further 69 00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:26,799 Speaker 1: from the truth. And that's something that as I'm getting older, 70 00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:29,919 Speaker 1: I'm unlearning a lot of the things that I was 71 00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:33,159 Speaker 1: taught about the Bible and learning how to really apply 72 00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:36,560 Speaker 1: it to my life. And that's not saying that what 73 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:38,279 Speaker 1: I was taught was wrong, because you are supposed to 74 00:04:38,279 --> 00:04:39,919 Speaker 1: honor your mother and father, and that's what I was 75 00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:42,560 Speaker 1: taught as a kid. But there's certain things that I'm learning. 76 00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:47,560 Speaker 1: Some people take the scripture and use it to what 77 00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:53,000 Speaker 1: serves them, and that's not always what God meant. Who 78 00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:55,560 Speaker 1: I was first introduced to God by my parents. You know, 79 00:04:55,680 --> 00:04:59,000 Speaker 1: I was raising a church in a home where we 80 00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:00,760 Speaker 1: had to get up and go to church, which every Sunday. 81 00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:03,880 Speaker 1: It wasn't we didn't have the option. It was church, 82 00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:09,039 Speaker 1: Bible study, vacation, Bible school, second service, Sunday school. Like 83 00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:11,159 Speaker 1: we were there all day on Sunday, and if we 84 00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:14,160 Speaker 1: had an afternoon service, you best believe our family was 85 00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:16,120 Speaker 1: back in the house after dinner. We were back in 86 00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:21,800 Speaker 1: the church. But it wasn't until I moved out of 87 00:05:21,839 --> 00:05:24,839 Speaker 1: my parents' home and got to college that I really 88 00:05:24,880 --> 00:05:27,680 Speaker 1: got to know God for myself because I didn't have 89 00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:30,280 Speaker 1: anybody telling me, hey, you got to be up this time, 90 00:05:30,279 --> 00:05:34,040 Speaker 1: were going to church in the morning, and I didn't. 91 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:37,480 Speaker 1: Because I didn't. It was almost like an act of 92 00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:39,800 Speaker 1: rebellion or just an act of freedom. We're like, I 93 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:42,080 Speaker 1: don't have to do this anymore because I can make 94 00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:45,719 Speaker 1: my own choices. And I think a lot of people 95 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:49,680 Speaker 1: go through that because they have been almost like like 96 00:05:50,520 --> 00:05:51,960 Speaker 1: I didn't make my bed anymore. It was like something 97 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:53,280 Speaker 1: similar that my mom was like, make up your bed, 98 00:05:53,279 --> 00:05:55,320 Speaker 1: everyonere and open the blinds, like these are certain rules 99 00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:56,880 Speaker 1: I had to live by. And when I moved out, 100 00:05:56,920 --> 00:05:59,280 Speaker 1: I was like, I'm not doing none of this. And 101 00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:03,680 Speaker 1: church was one of those things. And my first semester, 102 00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:07,160 Speaker 1: I remember I was partying because my parents didn't really 103 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:10,200 Speaker 1: let me party. I just like wild out. My GPA 104 00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:12,839 Speaker 1: was horrible. I was on academic probation my first semester 105 00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:17,560 Speaker 1: of college because I just was wild and had to 106 00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:20,400 Speaker 1: go to summer school to get my GPA up, and 107 00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:26,160 Speaker 1: everything was spiraling out of control. And that's when I realized, Okay, Chris, 108 00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:27,640 Speaker 1: so you need to get back to what you know, 109 00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:29,880 Speaker 1: kind of like the prodigal the prodigal son, I was 110 00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:34,239 Speaker 1: the prodigal daughter that straight away but eventually came back home. 111 00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:38,800 Speaker 1: But it was in those moments that I realized everything 112 00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:41,360 Speaker 1: that I had been learning as a child was what 113 00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:44,320 Speaker 1: I really needed to lean on and lean into. And 114 00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:48,960 Speaker 1: I ended up realizing I grew up Methodist, and I 115 00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:55,520 Speaker 1: realized that that wasn't the type of formality as far 116 00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:58,080 Speaker 1: as church that fed my soul. So I ended up 117 00:06:58,120 --> 00:07:01,440 Speaker 1: starting to go to a Baptist church because I'm really 118 00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:04,400 Speaker 1: big on praise and worship and I needed to hear 119 00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:07,120 Speaker 1: songs that got me, you know, say, in the mood 120 00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:09,880 Speaker 1: to worship. I needed that that little I look at 121 00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:12,440 Speaker 1: that as like the appetizer, Like I go to church 122 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:14,640 Speaker 1: early so I can get the praising worship. That's like 123 00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:17,520 Speaker 1: my appetizer before the pastor gives me the meal. And 124 00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:21,040 Speaker 1: it was just something about the Baptist church that really 125 00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:23,040 Speaker 1: like fed me in a way that I hadn't been 126 00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:25,480 Speaker 1: fed before. And the way the pastor it was. His 127 00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:29,240 Speaker 1: name was Reverend Alvin summers. The way he broke the 128 00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:32,480 Speaker 1: word down was just so different than what I was 129 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:37,240 Speaker 1: used to because Methodists is really close to like Catholic. 130 00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:41,080 Speaker 1: We quote all the I believe in God, the Father, Almighty, 131 00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:43,920 Speaker 1: Maker of heaven and Earth like it's and we've seen 132 00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:46,640 Speaker 1: the I can't even the postle, it's the apostles Creed. 133 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:49,560 Speaker 1: We had to memorize those things and quote them every Sunday. 134 00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:53,760 Speaker 1: And it didn't really feel like the spirit was being 135 00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:57,000 Speaker 1: free to move if everything felt so rigid. And when 136 00:07:57,000 --> 00:08:00,360 Speaker 1: I went to the Baptist church, I was like, man, 137 00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:03,400 Speaker 1: this is crazy. I'm like, this is what I feel 138 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:06,480 Speaker 1: like worshiping God should feel like. And of course my 139 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:08,720 Speaker 1: parents didn't really like that because they wanted me to 140 00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:10,600 Speaker 1: continue to go to the church that I was raised in, 141 00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:15,120 Speaker 1: and I loved my pastor growing up. But as I 142 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:18,680 Speaker 1: got older, I realized what worked for me, and I 143 00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:21,000 Speaker 1: knew what I needed to be able to sustain that 144 00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:25,480 Speaker 1: relationship with God. How do I prioritize my relationship with 145 00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:30,480 Speaker 1: God in the midst of a chaotic work schedule. I 146 00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:33,240 Speaker 1: will be honest with you, there are times, there have 147 00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:37,160 Speaker 1: been times in my journey where I will be very, 148 00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:40,600 Speaker 1: very intentional about my time with God, and I will 149 00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:44,319 Speaker 1: wake up in the morning, pray, journal, read the Bible, 150 00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:48,360 Speaker 1: and really just meditate with God and sit still before 151 00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:50,520 Speaker 1: I get my day started. And then there's other times 152 00:08:50,559 --> 00:08:54,560 Speaker 1: where life would get so busy that I would just 153 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,680 Speaker 1: wake up and hit the ground running, or I'd be 154 00:08:56,720 --> 00:08:58,200 Speaker 1: too tired and I want to sleep in, and by 155 00:08:58,240 --> 00:08:59,720 Speaker 1: the time it's time to get up, I don't have 156 00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:04,080 Speaker 1: time to spend that time with God. And I felt it. 157 00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:06,600 Speaker 1: I started to feel it, and I had to start 158 00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:11,640 Speaker 1: making very intentional decisions to start my day with Him. 159 00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:14,560 Speaker 1: And now I do. I wake up every morning, the 160 00:09:14,559 --> 00:09:17,240 Speaker 1: first thing I do is I talk to God. I pray. 161 00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:22,240 Speaker 1: And that's one thing Passadarious Daniels from Changed Church where 162 00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:24,319 Speaker 1: I go now he taught us at the beginning of 163 00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:26,240 Speaker 1: the year how to pray and how to talk to God. 164 00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:30,560 Speaker 1: So I journal in the mornings through prayer, I meditate, 165 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:33,800 Speaker 1: and I take time to read the Bible based on 166 00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:37,960 Speaker 1: the devotionals that I do every morning, and I think 167 00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:40,120 Speaker 1: in that it helps me. It kind of sets the 168 00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:42,440 Speaker 1: tone for the day. Now I'm the girl that after 169 00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:44,920 Speaker 1: I do that, I turn my church music on and 170 00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:46,840 Speaker 1: I really just set the tone for how I want 171 00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:50,800 Speaker 1: to leave the house every single day. And I feel 172 00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:53,840 Speaker 1: like as I learned to make me more intentional with that, 173 00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:57,520 Speaker 1: everything else just kind of became more calm. So Yeah, 174 00:09:57,559 --> 00:10:02,680 Speaker 1: when I'm in need, Bishop Joseph Walker from mountains On 175 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:06,120 Speaker 1: Baptist Church in Nashville, Tennessee is someone that I look 176 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:10,199 Speaker 1: to for spiritual guidance. My mom and Dad. I still 177 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:15,320 Speaker 1: talk to my mom and dad about things. Who Else, 178 00:10:16,360 --> 00:10:19,320 Speaker 1: Pastor John Gray and his wife are people that I've 179 00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:23,559 Speaker 1: talked to. Tyler Perry. Tyler is a big brother of 180 00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:29,040 Speaker 1: mine and someone that I admire and adore. And when 181 00:10:29,040 --> 00:10:32,040 Speaker 1: it comes to somebody I know that's always praying over me, 182 00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:35,959 Speaker 1: I know I can count on Tyler to be one 183 00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:38,240 Speaker 1: of those people. So those are a few people that 184 00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:41,400 Speaker 1: I have gone to in the past years and now 185 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:48,160 Speaker 1: to seek spiritual guidance from who story of my first 186 00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:52,040 Speaker 1: encounter with God. I honestly can't remember my first encounter, 187 00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:57,520 Speaker 1: but I remember a very an encounter that I was like, WHOA. 188 00:10:57,920 --> 00:11:01,240 Speaker 1: It was as if God himself was like right here, 189 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:03,720 Speaker 1: not physical on his couch, but like he was right 190 00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:05,400 Speaker 1: there next to me. I was in the car I 191 00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:08,280 Speaker 1: had I was dating this guy, and this is when 192 00:11:08,280 --> 00:11:12,760 Speaker 1: I bought my first home, and the relationship was very volatile. 193 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:16,640 Speaker 1: You know, he w I don't. I wouldn't say he's 194 00:11:16,679 --> 00:11:19,120 Speaker 1: a bad person. He's not a bad person, but when 195 00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:23,040 Speaker 1: it came to relationships, he just wasn't very good in 196 00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:26,600 Speaker 1: that area. Great would work, great people person, but when 197 00:11:26,679 --> 00:11:29,559 Speaker 1: it came to being a mate, he wasn't very good. 198 00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:31,680 Speaker 1: And I I put up with a lot of things. 199 00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:35,040 Speaker 1: I wasn't as secure as I am now, and myself 200 00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:38,240 Speaker 1: and I put up with a lot of things to 201 00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:41,080 Speaker 1: the point that we end up getting too a really, 202 00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:45,280 Speaker 1: really bad argument right before I moved into my first home, 203 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:48,439 Speaker 1: and the argument was so bad that a friend of 204 00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:51,800 Speaker 1: mine had to come get me. It got physical, it 205 00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:55,079 Speaker 1: was crazy, and as I she took me to my car, 206 00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:56,320 Speaker 1: I got in my car and I drove to my 207 00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:59,120 Speaker 1: new house, and it was literally as if God himself 208 00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:01,240 Speaker 1: sat in the car and said, where I'm taking you. 209 00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:04,000 Speaker 1: He can't go. But you would have never left him. 210 00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:06,599 Speaker 1: If I didn't allow this situation to escalate to the 211 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:09,240 Speaker 1: point where you're like, Okay, I'm done, I cannot do this, 212 00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:13,040 Speaker 1: I would have stayed because I wasn't securing myself. I 213 00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:16,400 Speaker 1: wasn't secure my relationship with God and even had the 214 00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:18,040 Speaker 1: vision of what he had for me. I knew what 215 00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:22,120 Speaker 1: I wanted to do, but I didn't see that the 216 00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:24,200 Speaker 1: things in the patterns that I was allowed to continue 217 00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:28,079 Speaker 1: to having relationships, and especially with this guy, I couldn't. 218 00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:30,560 Speaker 1: I was wonder why I kept hitting walls, and sometimes 219 00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:32,400 Speaker 1: you hit I learned that you hit walls because the 220 00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:35,280 Speaker 1: people that you have with you that can't go with you, 221 00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:38,440 Speaker 1: and until you let them go, God cannot He can't 222 00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:41,400 Speaker 1: promote you to the next level. And when he sat 223 00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:43,600 Speaker 1: in that car and said, Crystal, where I'm taking you? 224 00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:49,880 Speaker 1: This dude can't go, I was like, say, let's I 225 00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:53,000 Speaker 1: got you God. And that was like one of the 226 00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:55,400 Speaker 1: times in the most vivid recent time that was in 227 00:12:55,400 --> 00:13:01,400 Speaker 1: twenty seventeen that I was like, whoa, Okay, I hear you, 228 00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:04,280 Speaker 1: and like I felt so close to God in that 229 00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:06,280 Speaker 1: season where I was like even in the midst of 230 00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:09,560 Speaker 1: me kind of losing myself. And we tend to do 231 00:13:09,559 --> 00:13:12,439 Speaker 1: that in relationships. We end up losing ourselves because we're 232 00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:16,120 Speaker 1: so in love and jaded by this person and thinking like, Okay, 233 00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:17,920 Speaker 1: the time is ticket I'm getting older, let me just 234 00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:20,880 Speaker 1: go ahead and settle for this. And God's like, no, baby, girl, 235 00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:22,880 Speaker 1: I got something else for you, But I need you 236 00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:25,920 Speaker 1: to understand that this person is not your person and 237 00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:28,040 Speaker 1: you gotta let this go. So that was probably like 238 00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:30,360 Speaker 1: the most recent time that and there's been other things, 239 00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:33,920 Speaker 1: but that really stood out. How do I balance my 240 00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:36,720 Speaker 1: faith in my career? This is a really tough one 241 00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:42,080 Speaker 1: because I'm in the entertainment industry and a particular character 242 00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:45,680 Speaker 1: that I'm playing right now is the things and the 243 00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:51,160 Speaker 1: choices that she makes are not quite aligned with God's word. 244 00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:56,000 Speaker 1: So a lot of times I'm conflicted with the imagery 245 00:13:56,480 --> 00:14:00,840 Speaker 1: that I'm portraying to the masses, and I'm like, I'm 246 00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:03,120 Speaker 1: an actor, so I am acting. This is not who 247 00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:05,760 Speaker 1: I am, but this is I'm acting and portraying other 248 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:09,720 Speaker 1: people because what acting is you're portraying people who really 249 00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:12,120 Speaker 1: act like that in real life, even though that may 250 00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:14,319 Speaker 1: not be you, and you had to make people believe that. 251 00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:17,480 Speaker 1: And there are times where I'm like, Lord, am I 252 00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:19,560 Speaker 1: doing the right thing? Is this pleasing in your sight? 253 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:24,920 Speaker 1: And I've reached out to my spirituallyders about that, and 254 00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:27,080 Speaker 1: my parents, like I really got a lot of peace 255 00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:28,800 Speaker 1: about it when I talk to my dad about it, 256 00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:33,240 Speaker 1: because especially like sex scenes and things like that, my 257 00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:35,320 Speaker 1: dad was like, you're just acting. He was like, it's 258 00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:37,960 Speaker 1: not who you are. And the same thing with my 259 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:40,160 Speaker 1: spiritual leaders, they were like, we know that's not the 260 00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:45,280 Speaker 1: image that Crystal puts out. That's what the actor actress does, 261 00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:48,080 Speaker 1: or that's who fateammates that that's not Crystal and learning 262 00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:52,000 Speaker 1: to separate the two and understand that it's a job. 263 00:14:53,880 --> 00:14:55,760 Speaker 1: And that's something I still struggle with. You know, I 264 00:14:55,800 --> 00:15:00,360 Speaker 1: do still struggle with that, but I try to not 265 00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:05,400 Speaker 1: judge the character. I tried to understand that this is 266 00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:08,000 Speaker 1: there is people out here who act just like this woman, 267 00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:12,680 Speaker 1: and all I am doing is portraying those people. So yeah, 268 00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:17,160 Speaker 1: still struggling with that a little bit. The revelation that 269 00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:23,440 Speaker 1: helped change my view in relationship with God, I think 270 00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:27,920 Speaker 1: it was in two thousand and seven. I was living 271 00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:32,240 Speaker 1: in DC. I had moved to Washington, d C. When 272 00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:36,360 Speaker 1: I moved from home, I stayed in my hometown for 273 00:15:36,440 --> 00:15:40,440 Speaker 1: college and I moved to DC and I was on 274 00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:41,600 Speaker 1: my own. This is the first time I was really 275 00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:43,720 Speaker 1: on my own because when I was in college, my pop. 276 00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:45,360 Speaker 1: I still live in the same town that I grew 277 00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:48,760 Speaker 1: up in, But it wasn't until I was literally on 278 00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:52,560 Speaker 1: my own that I had to fully lean on God 279 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:56,280 Speaker 1: for his guidance. And it was in that season. It 280 00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:57,560 Speaker 1: was like two and a half years I was in 281 00:15:57,640 --> 00:16:01,400 Speaker 1: DC that I realized, God, I need you more now 282 00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:04,120 Speaker 1: than I ever did before, because I have nobody else. 283 00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:06,760 Speaker 1: And I think sometimes there are seasons in your life 284 00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:10,120 Speaker 1: where God will literally strip you away from what your 285 00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:15,200 Speaker 1: comfort zone, your comfort your blankis what do you call them, 286 00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:19,880 Speaker 1: the security blankets. We have people that are like our 287 00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:24,440 Speaker 1: security blankets that we feel safe around, but a lot 288 00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:27,040 Speaker 1: of times those security blankets are hindering us from learning 289 00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:29,360 Speaker 1: lessons or mature in the areas that we need to, 290 00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:34,240 Speaker 1: Whereas if we were alone and in isolation, we realize 291 00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:36,480 Speaker 1: there's nothing they can do to help us get to 292 00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:40,480 Speaker 1: the next level or to even grow. So when I 293 00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:43,920 Speaker 1: moved there, that's when I realized, Okay, God, like this 294 00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:45,920 Speaker 1: is you and me, like we got to figure this 295 00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:48,840 Speaker 1: thing out. And I found a church home and it 296 00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:51,160 Speaker 1: seems like I always find my way back to the church, 297 00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:53,440 Speaker 1: Like even then, I was still trying to figure life out, 298 00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:56,960 Speaker 1: but I found my way back to the church, and 299 00:16:57,000 --> 00:17:00,240 Speaker 1: there were situations that would happen and I'm like, that 300 00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:02,760 Speaker 1: was nothing to God. Like as soon as I leave 301 00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:06,760 Speaker 1: the club of some gunshots rang out, it was like 302 00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:11,159 Speaker 1: it was always God like removing me from situations that 303 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:15,400 Speaker 1: could have killed me, driving home drunk, just being reckless, 304 00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:17,520 Speaker 1: you know, and waking up the next day like how 305 00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:20,080 Speaker 1: did I get home knowing that there was nothing to God? 306 00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:21,800 Speaker 1: And then realize, Okay, Chris, so you gotta get your 307 00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:24,040 Speaker 1: life together. You out here living on the wild side, 308 00:17:24,119 --> 00:17:26,720 Speaker 1: and this is not how you were raised. You got 309 00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:29,760 Speaker 1: to get it together. So I think it was the 310 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:33,560 Speaker 1: move and being ripped away from my family and everyone 311 00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:37,480 Speaker 1: that really made me like step closer to God. Honestly, 312 00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:40,480 Speaker 1: I feel like in the moments where some people may 313 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:44,639 Speaker 1: feel like they can't face God, I draw closer to 314 00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:48,520 Speaker 1: Him in those moments because I never want to let 315 00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:52,560 Speaker 1: him down. And I'm where I say by far, I 316 00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:57,040 Speaker 1: am not perfect, far from it, But There's never been 317 00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:59,720 Speaker 1: a time where I rejected God. There's been seasons of 318 00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:02,400 Speaker 1: my life life where God was not in the forefront. 319 00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:04,280 Speaker 1: There's deaf man seasons in my life where He was 320 00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:08,040 Speaker 1: not in the forefront as he should be. Times where 321 00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:11,040 Speaker 1: I wasn't going to church, times where I may have 322 00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:14,720 Speaker 1: been in a relationship with somebody that I may have 323 00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:17,920 Speaker 1: unintentionally made my God. Like I was serving my husband 324 00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:21,439 Speaker 1: and he was taking He wasn't leading me and saying, hey, 325 00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:24,000 Speaker 1: bab we need to go to church and I wasn't going. 326 00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:25,320 Speaker 1: It was like, all right, we're just gonna do we do. 327 00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:27,640 Speaker 1: We gonna lay up, party all night, lay up on Sundays, 328 00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:30,320 Speaker 1: watch football, glad to eat, and it was just like 329 00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:34,080 Speaker 1: God was a distant memory. But there's never been a 330 00:18:34,119 --> 00:18:38,120 Speaker 1: time where I felt like, God, I can't come to you. 331 00:18:38,359 --> 00:18:41,800 Speaker 1: That's one thing I've never felt. I've had low points 332 00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:45,000 Speaker 1: in my life where I really felt like I felt 333 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:48,080 Speaker 1: like two thousand and nine, when I first moved to Atlanta, 334 00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:51,600 Speaker 1: was one of the lowest points in my life and 335 00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:55,000 Speaker 1: I felt cursed. I felt like God had left me 336 00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:58,800 Speaker 1: and nothing was going right. It was one of the 337 00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:01,000 Speaker 1: lowest points in my life. It's like, Lord, like I'm 338 00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:04,080 Speaker 1: not catching a break, Like what is happening? Like I 339 00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:06,680 Speaker 1: had never been that low in my life that broke 340 00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:12,560 Speaker 1: in my life and broke in And it wasn't until 341 00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:15,800 Speaker 1: like twenty ten. That's sorry to see things turn around. 342 00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:20,720 Speaker 1: But even in that hindsight, I realize that sometimes God 343 00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:22,359 Speaker 1: has to take you to the valley so that you 344 00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:25,359 Speaker 1: can appreciate the highs like everything and even letting you know, hey, 345 00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:27,880 Speaker 1: when we go down, I'm still there with you. When 346 00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:29,880 Speaker 1: we go to the mountaintop, I'm gonna be right there too. 347 00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:32,480 Speaker 1: But I gotta take you through these situations so that 348 00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:36,480 Speaker 1: when we hear you can really really appreciate it, because 349 00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:39,600 Speaker 1: if everything is smooth or everything is high your whole life, 350 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:41,640 Speaker 1: you're not gonna appreciate it when I take you where 351 00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:46,640 Speaker 1: you want to go. So yeah, I think that's it. 352 00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:50,520 Speaker 1: How do I think God wants to use me while 353 00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:56,479 Speaker 1: I'm on earth? It's funny. Every morning I pray that 354 00:19:57,800 --> 00:20:01,200 Speaker 1: when I walk out these doors, they anyone I encounter 355 00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:07,040 Speaker 1: that they see God's light through me and a lot 356 00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:09,000 Speaker 1: of I want to be able to make impacts on 357 00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:11,120 Speaker 1: people without even saying anything. I want them to see 358 00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:14,200 Speaker 1: me walk in and be like, it's something different about this girl, 359 00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:18,280 Speaker 1: and when they do it, interact with me. I want 360 00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:20,800 Speaker 1: them to feel God. And I feel like I'm put 361 00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:25,880 Speaker 1: on this earth to just be a reflection of him, 362 00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:31,920 Speaker 1: to love people, to be kind, to show them God's way, 363 00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:39,040 Speaker 1: and to really just be a vessel for him. And 364 00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:42,800 Speaker 1: I think that anybody that I encounter with at some point, 365 00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:45,800 Speaker 1: God is going to come up like it's just like 366 00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:48,240 Speaker 1: even if they're like talking about something like yeah, because 367 00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:51,359 Speaker 1: man I have everything leads to a testimony or a 368 00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:55,480 Speaker 1: story of how God brought me through something. So I 369 00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:57,199 Speaker 1: feel like, yeah, I feel like I'm here to just 370 00:20:57,880 --> 00:21:01,040 Speaker 1: to let His light shine through me. Some days it 371 00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:07,200 Speaker 1: does feel heavy, only because I have a lot of 372 00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:12,720 Speaker 1: people leaning on me, and every day I don't feel like, 373 00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:19,200 Speaker 1: how did I say this? I don't wake up every 374 00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:23,720 Speaker 1: day feeling like positive and like the light, like the 375 00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:25,680 Speaker 1: light that I want to exude. I don't always wake 376 00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:28,639 Speaker 1: up feeling like that, And it's it's sometimes being in 377 00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:30,320 Speaker 1: the light that I'm in. You feel like you can't 378 00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:33,480 Speaker 1: have an off day, like you gotta be on every 379 00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:35,000 Speaker 1: single day. As soon as you step out of the house, 380 00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:36,359 Speaker 1: you gotta be on because you don't know he canna 381 00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:39,720 Speaker 1: run into who's got a camera on you? And it 382 00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:42,600 Speaker 1: could be from going to church people are having cameras 383 00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:45,439 Speaker 1: on you, to being in the mall to eating at 384 00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:49,760 Speaker 1: a restaurant, like somebody's always looking at you, and you 385 00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:51,840 Speaker 1: can't have a bad day, Like you can't get angry 386 00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:54,480 Speaker 1: at somebody out in public. Like everything has to be 387 00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:58,879 Speaker 1: on the highest tier at all times because people are 388 00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:02,720 Speaker 1: watching you. Cause I don't think anybody has like the 389 00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:06,000 Speaker 1: the not. I don't think anyone has perfect days every 390 00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:08,639 Speaker 1: single day where they wake up like laurd, thank you. 391 00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:10,440 Speaker 1: I'm gonna go out here and spread You're a good word. 392 00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:13,040 Speaker 1: Like everybody doesn't wake up like that every single day. 393 00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:16,199 Speaker 1: But you strive to be that, And it's something my 394 00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:19,360 Speaker 1: therapist said. She was like, stop striving for perfection, that's 395 00:22:19,359 --> 00:22:22,440 Speaker 1: a cancer, she says, strive for excellence. So I'm trying 396 00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:24,439 Speaker 1: to practice that in everything I do because within the 397 00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:26,680 Speaker 1: excellence you can also make mistakes and learn and grow 398 00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:31,840 Speaker 1: from it. But yeah, it it gets heavy sometimes for sure, 399 00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:34,800 Speaker 1: cause I'm not perfect and I'm haven't been saved all 400 00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:37,400 Speaker 1: my life and I'm not the most sanctified saint there is, 401 00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:46,880 Speaker 1: so yeah, he's still working on me though. God, oh 402 00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:54,440 Speaker 1: God is he's everywhere, you know, God is everywhere. He's 403 00:22:56,840 --> 00:23:00,600 Speaker 1: he has an agafe love. I know he's he doesn't 404 00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:03,719 Speaker 1: judge me there's nothing I can do that's gonna make 405 00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:11,040 Speaker 1: him love me less, you know, And God is he's 406 00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:13,280 Speaker 1: all knowing. There's nothing that I can't say to him 407 00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:16,399 Speaker 1: that he doesn't already know. There's nothing I can the 408 00:23:16,440 --> 00:23:19,199 Speaker 1: sin that I'm gonna do tomorrow. God already know, like 409 00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:20,880 Speaker 1: you know, what I'm saying, So there's nothing I can do. 410 00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:22,720 Speaker 1: I can try not to do it, but he already 411 00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:24,200 Speaker 1: know what I'm gonna do tomorrow. He know I'm doing 412 00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:29,879 Speaker 1: ten minutes, you know, So there's no fooling him. So 413 00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:31,760 Speaker 1: I love that he's the friend that I have that 414 00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:35,920 Speaker 1: I don't have to fake with because there's so many 415 00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:38,800 Speaker 1: people in my life that you can't always be completely 416 00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:42,120 Speaker 1: or authentically yourself. It doesn't matter what I do when 417 00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:45,320 Speaker 1: I go behind those closed doors of my bedroom and 418 00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:48,880 Speaker 1: sit in my space, or the thoughts that I have, 419 00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:52,720 Speaker 1: the things that I do that nobody sees. God knows 420 00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:55,880 Speaker 1: it and shows me every single day that He loves 421 00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:58,160 Speaker 1: me regardless. He knows that these are things I'm growing through. 422 00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:04,160 Speaker 1: So that's God to me. Here we go, all right, 423 00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:11,640 Speaker 1: So these are It's funny because I talked about being 424 00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:15,800 Speaker 1: too busy to pray, so pastor Darius Daniels. Doctor Darius 425 00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:21,720 Speaker 1: Daniels preached on the topic of that sermon was the 426 00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:25,920 Speaker 1: cheat code. I didn't know this could do that talking 427 00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:30,560 Speaker 1: about prayer, and this part about prayer was like too 428 00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:32,840 Speaker 1: busy not to pray because we get so caught up 429 00:24:32,840 --> 00:24:35,360 Speaker 1: in life that we're so busy and it's like, look, 430 00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:38,200 Speaker 1: I just Lord, I just didn't have time today. No, 431 00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:40,280 Speaker 1: you need to be too busy not to prayer, like 432 00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:41,560 Speaker 1: you need to take the time to do it. And 433 00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:44,520 Speaker 1: it starts off with showing adoration for God, and then 434 00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:47,639 Speaker 1: you confess to God and then you thank God for 435 00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:51,040 Speaker 1: your answer prayers, your spiritual blessings, relational blessings, and your 436 00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:55,919 Speaker 1: material blessings. And then it ends with supplication, make your 437 00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:58,960 Speaker 1: request known to Him and do this all in Jesus name. 438 00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:03,800 Speaker 1: And when you break it down, it's x acts. That's 439 00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:10,000 Speaker 1: the acronym adoration, confession, thanksgiving, and supplication. And that's how 440 00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:15,080 Speaker 1: I start today with God, adoring him, thanking him, asking 441 00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:18,760 Speaker 1: Him for what I need. And once I started to 442 00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:21,679 Speaker 1: practice those things in our journal every single morning, and 443 00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:23,760 Speaker 1: he said it's not for everybody. Some people can do 444 00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:25,199 Speaker 1: it for a hours, some people just do it for 445 00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:27,160 Speaker 1: fifteen minutes. He's like, I'm not the type of person 446 00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:28,800 Speaker 1: that's going to do it for two hours. He's like, 447 00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:31,320 Speaker 1: I got my twenty minute window, thirty minute window, and 448 00:25:31,359 --> 00:25:33,879 Speaker 1: I'm like, I gotta start today. So it looks different 449 00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:37,840 Speaker 1: for everybody. So I love that because sometimes when I 450 00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:41,120 Speaker 1: was taught to pray, I was taught the Lord's prayer first, 451 00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:44,920 Speaker 1: and then I was taught it was a scripture in 452 00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:49,080 Speaker 1: the Bible that says, don't go in the closet babbling 453 00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:53,520 Speaker 1: on to God. Pray the Lord's prayer and say God 454 00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:56,600 Speaker 1: will be done. Because whatever you're going to go in 455 00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:58,879 Speaker 1: there and talking to God and rambling about for hours 456 00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:04,040 Speaker 1: and hours, just what you asking for is less than 457 00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:06,200 Speaker 1: what He already has and sore for you. So just 458 00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:08,199 Speaker 1: say God, because you may be asking for something that 459 00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:11,240 Speaker 1: you feel so big and like, if I get this, Lord, 460 00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:13,919 Speaker 1: this is everything, I don't need nothing else. And he's like, child, 461 00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:18,199 Speaker 1: you think you need to think big. You know what 462 00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:20,280 Speaker 1: the guy says. I'm not gonna say what he really says, 463 00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:24,240 Speaker 1: but I think it's too small. Think big. And I've 464 00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:28,439 Speaker 1: learned that when I say that, will be done. Literally 465 00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:30,560 Speaker 1: the things that God has for me I'm like, WHOA, 466 00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:33,760 Speaker 1: I never thought of that. I never thought of it 467 00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:38,080 Speaker 1: on this magnitude. So those are things that I was taught, 468 00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:39,720 Speaker 1: and I was always taught to say the Lord's prayer. 469 00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:44,479 Speaker 1: But when I started putting this into into action, I 470 00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:49,800 Speaker 1: saw a different revelation. I started this in January and 471 00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:53,600 Speaker 1: I told Ganora this I had written in my journal. 472 00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:55,680 Speaker 1: I prayed about what I wanted and I said, I 473 00:26:55,720 --> 00:27:00,320 Speaker 1: want a big partnership with a big beauty brand. And 474 00:27:00,359 --> 00:27:02,800 Speaker 1: within twenty four hours, I get the call from the 475 00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:05,159 Speaker 1: Nor saying, hey, esday, Lauda and Clinque want to do 476 00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:07,960 Speaker 1: something with you in conjunction with Black Tag. And I 477 00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:12,000 Speaker 1: was like, you worked that fast. I was like, oh 478 00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:14,879 Speaker 1: my gosh. I was like, this is crazy. I'm like, Lord, 479 00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:17,359 Speaker 1: this is how you moving in twenty twenty three. Let's go. 480 00:27:18,119 --> 00:27:20,800 Speaker 1: So it was one of those things where he had 481 00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:22,840 Speaker 1: to show me quickly. I'm about to show you how 482 00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:24,399 Speaker 1: I'm moving in this season of your life. And I 483 00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:27,200 Speaker 1: was like, okay, you're not playing, so I'm not playing. 484 00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:30,960 Speaker 1: Let's do this. And it's something that I've continued to 485 00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:33,280 Speaker 1: be intentional about because I see that he's intentional about 486 00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:36,080 Speaker 1: me and this is a season where I can't lack 487 00:27:36,119 --> 00:27:42,320 Speaker 1: in any area of my pursuit of Him. For sure, 488 00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:46,840 Speaker 1: do I find it hard being a believer and a celebrity, 489 00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:52,320 Speaker 1: and do I feel a responsibility to share His word 490 00:27:52,359 --> 00:27:58,119 Speaker 1: with the masses. I don't find it hard being a 491 00:27:58,160 --> 00:28:01,680 Speaker 1: celebrity and a believer. I feel like everyone is called 492 00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:04,400 Speaker 1: for different things, and for me, this is what God 493 00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:06,680 Speaker 1: has called me to in this season of my life, 494 00:28:07,119 --> 00:28:14,800 Speaker 1: and I try to be very responsible with this, with 495 00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:18,280 Speaker 1: this gift that God has given me, for the gift 496 00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:21,080 Speaker 1: of acting, the gift of celebrity, and make sure I 497 00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:24,359 Speaker 1: don't abuse it because a lot of times people that 498 00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:28,639 Speaker 1: get in these positions of power. Because us be clear, 499 00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:37,160 Speaker 1: celebrities are very influential people. They can say things that 500 00:28:37,359 --> 00:28:40,960 Speaker 1: impact a mass majority of people and they will follow 501 00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:44,920 Speaker 1: what you say. So I do. Even on my social media, 502 00:28:45,080 --> 00:28:47,400 Speaker 1: I make which is where the majority I can reach 503 00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:53,920 Speaker 1: so many people, and for that, I'm very specific on 504 00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:58,600 Speaker 1: who I follow. I'm very specific on the energy that 505 00:28:58,680 --> 00:29:02,040 Speaker 1: I allow to come into my space. We're on Instagram 506 00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:05,320 Speaker 1: all the time, and I'm also very intentional about what 507 00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:09,480 Speaker 1: I post, making sure that it's positive and that when 508 00:29:09,480 --> 00:29:11,080 Speaker 1: people come to it they know that like, Okay, this 509 00:29:11,120 --> 00:29:13,160 Speaker 1: is a child of God. You know. Like I don't 510 00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:15,640 Speaker 1: post scriptures every single day, but you will see me 511 00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:20,880 Speaker 1: posting my devotional some days. You'll see me posting different 512 00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:25,600 Speaker 1: exerts from sermons from my favorite pastors. I don't hide 513 00:29:27,120 --> 00:29:29,560 Speaker 1: how good God is to me, and I don't hide 514 00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:32,960 Speaker 1: that I'm a believer and I do feel i feel 515 00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:36,200 Speaker 1: the responsibility to draw people to God. And I've had 516 00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:41,240 Speaker 1: people come up to me and say, Crystal, your posts, 517 00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:44,800 Speaker 1: I saw you going to change church. That brought me 518 00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:48,440 Speaker 1: back to Christ. And it's those things that right there 519 00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:52,440 Speaker 1: means more to me than any accolade or any role 520 00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:56,160 Speaker 1: that I could get, knowing that I'm bringing people to God. 521 00:29:56,560 --> 00:30:00,480 Speaker 1: And I think because of that is why I feel 522 00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:04,400 Speaker 1: like God has deemed me responsible and like you're the 523 00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:06,080 Speaker 1: one that I want to do this job because I 524 00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:09,200 Speaker 1: know I can trust you with it, and I don't 525 00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:11,720 Speaker 1: want to let him down. I don't, so I try 526 00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:15,880 Speaker 1: to be very very intentional about putting the word out 527 00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:18,760 Speaker 1: and not I'm not ashamed of him. I'm gonna let 528 00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:21,920 Speaker 1: you know I believe in Jesus Christ. Period. 529 00:30:22,520 --> 00:30:24,240 Speaker 2: You've said a couple of times, I don't want to 530 00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:25,160 Speaker 2: disappoint God. 531 00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:30,240 Speaker 1: It's more so like I feel like when when I 532 00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:32,800 Speaker 1: say I don't want to disappoint God, I feel like 533 00:30:33,280 --> 00:30:38,000 Speaker 1: God gives They say heavy is the head that wears 534 00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:41,160 Speaker 1: the crown. I feel like God tests and gives his 535 00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:44,920 Speaker 1: biggest challenges to his stronger soldiers, like people that he 536 00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:47,600 Speaker 1: know can handle it. And when I say disappointment, I 537 00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:49,320 Speaker 1: just want to make sure that I honor everything that 538 00:30:49,360 --> 00:30:53,320 Speaker 1: He that he is bestowed upon me. God. You can't 539 00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:55,720 Speaker 1: disappoint God. And I yes, I did say that, but 540 00:30:55,760 --> 00:30:58,640 Speaker 1: that's not what I mean. You can't disappoint God because 541 00:31:00,240 --> 00:31:02,680 Speaker 1: God already knows that we're not perfect. That's why he 542 00:31:02,720 --> 00:31:05,400 Speaker 1: died for our sins. Because he knows we are imperfect people. 543 00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:08,400 Speaker 1: So there's no disappointing him. I just want to make 544 00:31:08,440 --> 00:31:12,080 Speaker 1: sure that I honor everything that He's given me. Whether 545 00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:14,440 Speaker 1: it's okay, Chris, I'm gonna give you this light. Now, 546 00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:17,000 Speaker 1: everybody sees you, what are you gonna do with it? 547 00:31:18,040 --> 00:31:19,320 Speaker 1: You know? And I want to make sure. Hey God, 548 00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:20,960 Speaker 1: I'm gonna talk about you. I'm gonna let them know 549 00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:22,560 Speaker 1: that I believe in you. I want to. I just 550 00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:25,520 Speaker 1: want to make sure because I feel like people get 551 00:31:25,520 --> 00:31:27,080 Speaker 1: into them. I've said before, they get into and they 552 00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:30,000 Speaker 1: forget where they came from, forget like the real reason 553 00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:32,920 Speaker 1: they're really here. And I also feel like sometimes like 554 00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:39,800 Speaker 1: God puts people in certain positions to be very to 555 00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:44,160 Speaker 1: be very seen, and I'm visible to the world because 556 00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:46,080 Speaker 1: he knows o the people that are gonna bring more 557 00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:47,920 Speaker 1: people closer to Him, and I feel like I'm one 558 00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:55,240 Speaker 1: of those people. All Right, So we are getting into 559 00:31:55,240 --> 00:31:57,240 Speaker 1: one of my favorite parts of the show, and that 560 00:31:57,400 --> 00:32:02,280 Speaker 1: is positive outcomes where listeners and they ask us questions. 561 00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:07,080 Speaker 1: So this one says, I love God and believe in him, 562 00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:09,280 Speaker 1: but I recognize that there are areas in my life 563 00:32:09,320 --> 00:32:12,880 Speaker 1: where I struggle with unbelief. Oftentimes I struggle with believing 564 00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:14,960 Speaker 1: that God really has a husband for me and that 565 00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:17,880 Speaker 1: I will bear children someday. I know that I should 566 00:32:17,920 --> 00:32:20,880 Speaker 1: have faith, but the more that the days and years 567 00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:23,440 Speaker 1: go by without it, the harder it becomes to believe 568 00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:26,120 Speaker 1: that there is a promise here that would be fulfilled. 569 00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:30,680 Speaker 1: Do you struggle with unbelief? How can I work through 570 00:32:30,680 --> 00:32:34,480 Speaker 1: my unbelief and grow my faith in having a family someday? 571 00:32:35,840 --> 00:32:38,880 Speaker 1: Who child? Okay, So this is something I've definitely dealt 572 00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:46,040 Speaker 1: with Everyone knows. I'm forty now, and it is statistically 573 00:32:46,080 --> 00:32:48,440 Speaker 1: proven that the older yet the harder it is to 574 00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:53,720 Speaker 1: bear children and to have successful and healthy births. I'm 575 00:32:53,720 --> 00:32:56,720 Speaker 1: not married, so we are similar in that area as well. 576 00:32:57,440 --> 00:33:01,000 Speaker 1: But I know there are times even myself like that. 577 00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:03,720 Speaker 1: I wondered, like Lord, like when are you gonna bring him? 578 00:33:04,200 --> 00:33:07,000 Speaker 1: And are children in the cards for me? And I 579 00:33:07,040 --> 00:33:12,440 Speaker 1: think that what we end up doing is worrying, and 580 00:33:12,480 --> 00:33:14,600 Speaker 1: we're not supposed to do that. We cause more anxiety 581 00:33:14,640 --> 00:33:19,320 Speaker 1: than we should by worrying about things that's out of 582 00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:22,200 Speaker 1: our hands. God is in control of that. So what 583 00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:25,640 Speaker 1: I would say to you is focus on all the 584 00:33:25,640 --> 00:33:28,920 Speaker 1: blessings you have around you and know that as you 585 00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:32,200 Speaker 1: continue to appreciate everything that God has already done, He's 586 00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:34,560 Speaker 1: gonna bless you with those things. And if he doesn't, 587 00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:37,960 Speaker 1: that doesn't mean that you're less than or that you 588 00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:40,480 Speaker 1: don't deserve that. It happens to the best of us. 589 00:33:40,760 --> 00:33:44,520 Speaker 1: There's so many amazing people that can't have children, But 590 00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:46,920 Speaker 1: there's other alternatives if that's what you want to do. 591 00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:49,400 Speaker 1: And that's not in the cars for everyone either, but 592 00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:51,600 Speaker 1: if that's something you want to do you have other 593 00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:55,280 Speaker 1: options to do that with or without a man the 594 00:33:55,400 --> 00:34:00,280 Speaker 1: natural way? But I feel like there's that's not the 595 00:34:00,280 --> 00:34:03,360 Speaker 1: final answer. But if that's for you, God is gonna 596 00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:07,160 Speaker 1: make a way for sure, But don't let marriage and 597 00:34:07,880 --> 00:34:11,319 Speaker 1: a family define you. I feel like sometimes women, we 598 00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:14,680 Speaker 1: feel like that's what's gonna complete everything, and maybe that's 599 00:34:14,760 --> 00:34:17,239 Speaker 1: not what God's purpose is for you. And if it is, 600 00:34:18,239 --> 00:34:21,480 Speaker 1: it'll happen. That man is gonna come, that child would come, 601 00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:23,200 Speaker 1: and it's gonna be a miracle, and you can be 602 00:34:23,200 --> 00:34:26,440 Speaker 1: looking like, I know this was nothing but God. A 603 00:34:26,480 --> 00:34:28,279 Speaker 1: lot of times we try to make things happen because 604 00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:30,799 Speaker 1: this is what we want, but sometimes God allows it 605 00:34:30,840 --> 00:34:33,480 Speaker 1: not to happen so that when it does happen, you 606 00:34:33,520 --> 00:34:36,080 Speaker 1: can't take responsibility for it. You're gonna know that that 607 00:34:36,280 --> 00:34:40,799 Speaker 1: was only God. So stay strong and know that I'm 608 00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:42,840 Speaker 1: here with you. We're in the same boat. But we 609 00:34:42,960 --> 00:34:45,839 Speaker 1: have to stay positive. Sweetie, See what I did there. 610 00:34:50,680 --> 00:34:53,880 Speaker 1: So another thing that I like to do every episode 611 00:34:54,160 --> 00:34:57,400 Speaker 1: is what I'm going through and what I'm growing through. 612 00:34:58,600 --> 00:35:02,799 Speaker 1: And I think for this particular episode when we talk 613 00:35:02,840 --> 00:35:12,120 Speaker 1: about the faith walk, I am going through understanding my 614 00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:17,160 Speaker 1: purpose combined with my career path, and when I say purpose, 615 00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:19,600 Speaker 1: combine my career path my purpose for God and what 616 00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:22,160 Speaker 1: he wants me to do in this career path. What 617 00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:26,160 Speaker 1: I'm growing through is growing and learning that I have 618 00:35:26,239 --> 00:35:28,400 Speaker 1: to stop being so hard on myself and judging everything 619 00:35:28,440 --> 00:35:31,799 Speaker 1: that I do and knowing that God placed me in 620 00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:34,799 Speaker 1: this position for a reason that's to glorify Him and 621 00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:38,040 Speaker 1: that as long as I continue to do that, I 622 00:35:38,040 --> 00:35:40,120 Speaker 1: don't have to be so hard on myself about cause 623 00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:42,040 Speaker 1: I do. Like I told you guys, I struggle with 624 00:35:42,560 --> 00:35:44,000 Speaker 1: the scenes that I do and I'm like, Okay, I'm 625 00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:46,680 Speaker 1: a Christian woman, is that wrong? And I've had people 626 00:35:46,680 --> 00:35:49,680 Speaker 1: tell me like, yeah, I don't watch that trash, Like 627 00:35:49,680 --> 00:35:53,000 Speaker 1: that's a trash he's showing. I'm like, ugh, And these 628 00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:55,080 Speaker 1: are like church people, you know what I'm saying, Like 629 00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:57,879 Speaker 1: super sat sanctified and saved and filled with the Holy 630 00:35:57,920 --> 00:36:02,200 Speaker 1: Ghost type people. But in those instants, I'm like, Lord, 631 00:36:02,239 --> 00:36:04,080 Speaker 1: am I doing the right thing? So that's what I'm 632 00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:07,040 Speaker 1: growing through and knowing that the journey that God's taken 633 00:36:07,080 --> 00:36:09,960 Speaker 1: me on is a purposeful one and I'm finding that. 634 00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:20,520 Speaker 1: So for this episode, keep it blank, sweety, I'm gonna say, 635 00:36:21,840 --> 00:36:28,080 Speaker 1: keep it faithful, sweetie. Literally, I opened up this an 636 00:36:28,080 --> 00:36:31,399 Speaker 1: old invitation I got recently and I've had this since 637 00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:34,080 Speaker 1: twenty nineteen, and I opened it up. It was a small, 638 00:36:35,920 --> 00:36:40,640 Speaker 1: enclosed in case mustard seed. That's all you need faith 639 00:36:40,719 --> 00:36:43,239 Speaker 1: the size of mustard seed, and it's so small. So 640 00:36:43,360 --> 00:36:47,359 Speaker 1: just keep it faithful, sweetie, and know that whatever God 641 00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:49,560 Speaker 1: has to you is gonna happen. I want to thank 642 00:36:49,600 --> 00:36:52,000 Speaker 1: you guys so much for tuning in to this episode 643 00:36:52,040 --> 00:36:54,040 Speaker 1: of Keep It Positive Sweety. If you want to be 644 00:36:54,080 --> 00:36:57,960 Speaker 1: featured on the Positive Outcomes Listener letter, write in to 645 00:36:58,480 --> 00:37:01,880 Speaker 1: Keep It Positive Sweety at gmail dot com and make 646 00:37:01,880 --> 00:37:05,120 Speaker 1: sure you guys tune in, follow me on all platforms 647 00:37:05,120 --> 00:37:07,000 Speaker 1: at love Christorine, and I can't wait to see you 648 00:37:07,080 --> 00:37:20,560 Speaker 1: guys next week. Bye,