Speaker 1: Hello, Yeah, how are you?
Speaker 2: I'm good. What is your name?
Speaker 3: It's Rachel?
Speaker 2: Rachel. How's life dude?
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's good actually right now?
Speaker 2: Well I'm happy to hear that. What'd you want to
Speaker 2: talk about today?
Speaker 3: Do you see any of my texts?
Speaker 2: Nope?
Speaker 3: Now okay, all right, So no, life's good. I've been
Speaker 3: a drug addict since I'm thirteen, and I am your
Speaker 3: age right now. I am extremely functional. I am super dedicated,
Speaker 3: super passionate, can carry a job, but had lots of
Speaker 3: trauma in life. So I don't know which way do
Speaker 3: you want to take it.
Speaker 2: How old do you think I am?
Speaker 3: Like twenty six?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm twenty six, so I just.
Speaker 3: I turned twenty five in May, so we're similar ages.
Speaker 2: So are you still Are you still addicted to drugs?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Absolutely?
Speaker 2: Do you see a drug counselor person?
Speaker 3: I used to, but my insurance they terminated my plan,
Speaker 3: so I haven't recently, and I I so when I
Speaker 3: stopped seeing them, everything kind of like kicked back into action.
Speaker 3: But I'm not doing anything like heavy anymore. I haven't
Speaker 3: done anything heavy since I was probably like twenty, I
Speaker 3: mean three.
Speaker 2: Okay, you but you don't seem like you're doing this,
Speaker 2: but I'm just going to give this uh disclaimer real
Speaker 2: drank h I am not a real therapist. I know
Speaker 2: you know that, I know you listen to the podcasts,
Speaker 2: and I know I know you know that, I know
Speaker 2: I know, I know you know, I know you know.
Speaker 2: But just putting that out there, I'm not a real therapist.
Speaker 2: I'm happy to talk to you about my current drug
Speaker 2: addiction as like a random dude on the internet, but
Speaker 2: as long as I'm just establishing that context.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so I went to school to be a therapist,
Speaker 3: so I understand, and I've listened to your podcast for
Speaker 3: quite some time, so I totally understand where you're coming from. Honestly,
Speaker 3: you could be a service.
Speaker 2: But now that we've established that, we can get into
Speaker 2: the fun part. What kind of drugs are you addicted to?
Speaker 3: So right now it's just alcohol. I used to be
Speaker 3: addicted to cocaine. I did acid every weekend for two
Speaker 3: years while I was in high school. I did a
Speaker 3: bunch of cocaine post high school. In college, dabbled in ketamine.
Speaker 3: Nothing like. I didn't do math, I didn't do heroine.
Speaker 3: I addicted to opioids from like fourteen to sixteen.
Speaker 2: So right now, it's just you're just drinking a lot.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, I don't smoke weed because I get too anxious.
Speaker 3: So right now it's really just go ahead.
Speaker 2: Are you drunk right now?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Really?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, Well I'm not drunk. So my thing is
Speaker 3: like I can drink and be super super functional. I
Speaker 3: probably so when your podcast started, about thirty minutes into it,
Speaker 3: I had like four shots of vodka. I think I
Speaker 3: took three or four more.
Speaker 2: Since you don't sound even slightly ineviated, That's that's.
Speaker 3: What the issue is. I'm a very functional person. I
Speaker 3: just get like more like lovey dovey and more like
Speaker 3: into my emotions.
Speaker 2: I guess so you you're seven shots deep right now,
Speaker 2: if not more, Yeah, that's crazy. How long have you been?
Speaker 2: Like do you drink every day?
Speaker 3: So I went to a jizoq facility at one point
Speaker 3: because I was like I can't do it anymore, and
Speaker 3: I was like two months sober, and then since then, yeah,
Speaker 3: I've pretty much just been drinking every day. So that
Speaker 3: was like in March.
Speaker 2: So and you have this thing where you can just
Speaker 2: take seven shots. That's I mean, I've literally I mean,
Speaker 2: you sound like a stone cold souper after seven. That's crazy.
Speaker 2: I've never encountered that.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: No, I can drink half a bottle Latinos and someone
Speaker 3: wouldn't know that I'm actually drunk. And so they asked
Speaker 3: me about my day and they're like, oh, you remember that,
Speaker 3: And I'm like what, No, And.
Speaker 2: This doesn't does this affect your job or your relationships
Speaker 2: or like, how does does this negatively affect your life?
Speaker 3: No? None at all. Besides like maybe sometimes I'm linked
Speaker 3: to work. Actually most of the time, I'm like five
Speaker 3: ten minutes fleet to work. But no, I hold a job,
Speaker 3: I hold my friendships, I hold a relationship. I carry
Speaker 3: on with my life.
Speaker 2: Okay, so you're you're in a relationship, you have a boyfriend.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I have a new boyfriend. It's only been like
Speaker 3: maybe a month.
Speaker 2: And what's your boyfriend think about all this?
Speaker 3: I don't know. I haven't asked him. He's very aware
Speaker 3: of it, but I have not asked him specifically what
Speaker 3: he thinks about it.
Speaker 2: In your twenty six years of or I guess thirteen
Speaker 2: years of like drug addiction, has alcohol or any of
Speaker 2: these stuff like has had Like I guess, clearly you've
Speaker 2: been able to be functional, but like, has it taken
Speaker 2: a toll on any any things in your life?
Speaker 3: Not particularly, I mean, and maybe like when I was
Speaker 3: in high school, I was like, I don't give a fuck,
Speaker 3: and I had like a one point eight GPA. And
Speaker 3: then my boyfriend went to a high end college, a
Speaker 3: high end university, and I wanted to follow him there
Speaker 3: boyfriend of the time. Uh So I got my shit together,
Speaker 3: still drank, but got my shit together and got my
Speaker 3: GPA up and got accepted into the college. And I
Speaker 3: was with him my previous ex, for like six years,
Speaker 3: and I graduated with a three point nine seven five.
Speaker 3: So I would I didn't say it has maybe likes.
Speaker 3: It's all physical effects. If if I'm being honest, how do.
Speaker 2: You physically feel right now?
Speaker 3: I get like chronic diarrhea right now, though right now
Speaker 3: I feel great. But yeah, I have like my I
Speaker 3: have like GI issues. I have like hangovers occasionally, not occasionally,
Speaker 3: I would say, maybe like I wake up in the morning,
Speaker 3: don't feel great. By by midday I feel fine. I
Speaker 3: definitely I've I've gotten to the point where I'm so
Speaker 3: drunk that I'm like, you know what, we could just
Speaker 3: end this all. And I've tried to commit to that
Speaker 3: a few times.
Speaker 2: How recently, as that happens.
Speaker 3: The last time, it's probably like, well, I also was
Speaker 3: on shrooms, so so the last time I was drinking
Speaker 3: and tried was probably like two years ago. But the
Speaker 3: last time that I tried was maybe a year and
Speaker 3: a half ago. But I was tripping really hard. I
Speaker 3: didn't even drink. I was just tripping really hard.
Speaker 2: And true, do you feel better now?
Speaker 3: I mean currently right now? Yeah, I feel great where
Speaker 3: I'm at, like having a partner that I'm really really into,
Speaker 3: and I have a great job, and I have a
Speaker 3: great apartment, and I pay my bills and I have
Speaker 3: three beautiful kiddies.
Speaker 2: So I guess, why do you keep drinking every day?
Speaker 3: It's not even like like I mean, I go through
Speaker 3: withdraw if I don't drink, But that's not why I
Speaker 3: keep drinking. It's more of like it feels very freeing,
Speaker 3: like I have no anxiety, my depression's gone, Like I
Speaker 3: just feel like a great human being if I drink,
Speaker 3: whether it's a small amount or a large amount, So it.
Speaker 2: Just numbs your like your anxiety and your depression, and
Speaker 2: you just keep keep it up so that you don't
Speaker 2: have to deal with all that shit.
Speaker 3: And I mean I have faced it. I've been sober.
Speaker 3: I have faced it. I've gone through many months of
Speaker 3: therapy and been put on medications and stuff, and I
Speaker 3: still have felt never better if I drink.
Speaker 2: And in the past thirteen years of dealing with this stuff,
Speaker 2: you have been to rehab and you have talked to
Speaker 2: counselors and therapists and whatnot. Right, Yes, what do they
Speaker 2: what do they tell you? Like if you like, I'm
Speaker 2: sure you've expressed this sentiment that you just expressed to me,
Speaker 2: this idea of like, Okay, well, when I'm drunk, I
Speaker 2: don't have to deal with my anxiety. I don't have
Speaker 2: to deal with my depression all this time. When you
Speaker 2: tell that to these people, what do they tell you?
Speaker 3: I mean, that is like addiction, that you're just like
Speaker 3: numbing out and stuff like that. But I, in my opinion,
Speaker 3: I feel more. I'm able to express more when I
Speaker 3: am drunk or high or tripping or anything. And I
Speaker 3: think it comes down to me like numbing out my
Speaker 3: emotions when I'm sober. And I mean, if you do
Speaker 3: that for over a decade and numb yourself out because
Speaker 3: of trauma and stuff. It feels great to just like
Speaker 3: let loose for once and not be stuck in your head.
Speaker 2: Sober sober you is stuck in your head?
Speaker 3: Oh, absolutely, overthinking constantly.
Speaker 2: Well, I can't fucking argue with that. I can't fucking
Speaker 2: argue with that. I can't. Yes, you're gonna overthink, and
Speaker 2: you're gonna you're gonna overthink and be more anxious when
Speaker 2: you're sober than when you're drunk. Sure, that is a
Speaker 2: thing I cannot argue with. And I guess so you're
Speaker 2: trying to cheat the system because you went like, because,
Speaker 2: all right, because because that's what it is. Right, It's like,
Speaker 2: have you've heard that fucking idea that like alcohol is
Speaker 2: borrowing your happiness from tomorrow? Right, you've heard that? And
Speaker 2: so you were you were, you were like, oh, I
Speaker 2: have this genius idea. If I just keep drinking, tomorrow
Speaker 2: will never come and I'll never have to pay the
Speaker 2: debt back. I'll just keep borrowing, just borrowing until I
Speaker 2: until until I die, and then once I die, they
Speaker 2: can't reap my my debt back. That was that's the idea, right,
Speaker 2: Not really.
Speaker 3: I don't I don't necessarily agree with the last part,
Speaker 3: like I drink for the moment, not not to be like,
Speaker 3: oh tomorrow will be better like it, I mean tars
Speaker 3: and be worse regardless until you like start up again
Speaker 3: or honestly, to be honest, I have great relationships with
Speaker 3: all my coworkers, all my friends, and that also gives
Speaker 3: me a release if I'm sober like I have. I'm
Speaker 3: such a social person. I am fucking hilarious. Not to
Speaker 3: get to my own goats, but I have so much
Speaker 3: fun socializing with people that I can be sober like
Speaker 3: post drinking and be very very happy and not in
Speaker 3: my head.
Speaker 2: So let me ask you this, do you want to
Speaker 2: stop drinking?
Speaker 3: I did for a while. Yeah, I went to.
Speaker 2: Like yohalaha, you did stop drinking or you did want
Speaker 2: to stop drinking.
Speaker 3: I did want to and I did stop, Okay, and
Speaker 3: now do your utility?
Speaker 2: Now do you want to stop drinking? Like as you know?
Speaker 3: So No, that's what the hard part is. I know
Speaker 3: that like on a systemic level, like my body is
Speaker 3: gonna like the chat had said, I saw one comment
Speaker 3: like you're gonna die at forty five, like probably, and
Speaker 3: that is my biggest fear, Like I don't want to
Speaker 3: because it brings me so much joy and so much
Speaker 3: release in my day to day life. But I know
Speaker 3: that health wise is not okay, and that gives me
Speaker 3: a lot of anxiety to think about that. You know,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna get like lymphoma or like mouth cancer or
Speaker 3: you know, I'm just gonna have like.
Speaker 2: Can I I'm gonna I'm gonna try my best here
Speaker 2: with this.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 2: So, and I think I actually talked to somebody who
Speaker 2: had a kind of similar issue, maybe like a year ago,
Speaker 2: on this podcast.
Speaker 3: But I probably already listened to it.
Speaker 2: So okay, So a few things. Clearly, you you you
Speaker 2: don't suffer from confidence issues, which is good. You like
Speaker 2: you like yourself. You know that you're great at socializing.
Speaker 2: You know that you're good at talking to people. You
Speaker 2: know that you're good at your job. You know that
Speaker 2: you're you know, attractive enough to hold down a relationship,
Speaker 2: that you are emotionally available enough to hold down a relationship.
Speaker 2: Like you don't you have a positive self image of yourself? Right?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Correct? And it's not even just like something that's in
Speaker 2: your head. It's like proven you're holding down a relationship,
Speaker 2: you're holding down a job. You're holding down friends, you're
Speaker 2: doing all this stuff. Uh, do you believe that you
Speaker 2: can do those things sober? That you can be this
Speaker 2: person sober?
Speaker 3: I do believe I could. But do I feel that
Speaker 3: on like a cellular level when I'm sober. No, I
Speaker 3: feel like I'm withdrawn and I'm not as exciting. And
Speaker 3: I've been told wrong already from like friends who I
Speaker 3: got sober with. But I probably could, but to me,
Speaker 3: it's not as exciting, for whatever.
Speaker 2: It's worth from me, I believe you can do all
Speaker 2: of those things sober now. Of course, after like drinking
Speaker 2: as much as you have, like you're gonna be going
Speaker 2: through crazy withdraws and yeah, and look and look and look.
Speaker 2: Maybe I know I'm not a psychologist, I'm not a scientist.
Speaker 2: I don't I don't know. I'm not a medical person,
Speaker 2: so I don't know the timeline of how long it
Speaker 2: takes to get over with draws. But like, maybe if
Speaker 2: you quit drinking, you'd experience and I mean, look, you
Speaker 2: told me you quit drinking a while, so maybe you've
Speaker 2: experienced already. Maybe when you quit drinking, you experience those
Speaker 2: withdraws for however long. I don't know. I don't know
Speaker 2: how long it takes for you to come up.
Speaker 3: With it's like three to six days.
Speaker 2: Three to six days, okay, So for the next three
Speaker 2: to six days, maybe you're not all those things because
Speaker 2: you're dealing with fucking withdrawals. But then once you get
Speaker 2: over your hurdle, I fully believe you can be a confident, successful,
Speaker 2: competent person doing all these things, being social, having a
Speaker 2: good life, sober and get this.
Speaker 3: So I've done that, I've done okay.
Speaker 2: Okay, tell me what happened when you did that?
Speaker 3: So I fell super so when I got sober, I
Speaker 3: the counselor I was seeing, wanted to put me on
Speaker 3: anti depresence and anti anxiety because I had no drive
Speaker 3: to do anything. I would stay in bed. I didn't
Speaker 3: want to socialize. I didn't want to like go on
Speaker 3: tender and meet people. I didn't want to be adventurous.
Speaker 3: Like it was very much not what I know me
Speaker 3: as myself, But it like what I know me as
Speaker 3: myself right now is who I was when I was
Speaker 3: like a kid and sober. So I mean, maybe there's
Speaker 3: a larger hump to get over. Whether it's like a couple.
Speaker 2: Months, how long, how long were you sober for two
Speaker 2: and a half months and during that two and a
Speaker 2: half months you didn't feel like yourself?
Speaker 3: No, not at all.
Speaker 2: I want to believe. I I'm not a doctor, I'm
Speaker 2: a man, but I'm a man in a gecko coster
Speaker 2: who really wants to believe. There is some reason why,
Speaker 2: when you are sober for those two months, you're not
Speaker 2: feeling yourself and that reason is not because you're sober.
Speaker 2: I don't know what that reason is. I also want
Speaker 2: to believe. I also want to believe that you can
Speaker 2: figure out what that reason is and then you can
Speaker 2: solve it. Because here's the thing, even if your brain
Speaker 2: is right, which I'm telling you I don't think it is,
Speaker 2: even if you're even if your brain is right, that
Speaker 2: the that the reason you're able to be socially confident
Speaker 2: and and all and all these great things in your
Speaker 2: life is because you're drunk. Whoop the fucking do You're
Speaker 2: gonna be able to be those you're because you're gonna
Speaker 2: be able to be those things for really not that
Speaker 2: long because it's gonna kill you. So who cares if
Speaker 2: it's the reason? Who? So? Who cares? If it's the
Speaker 2: reason that you're all those things right, and it's and
Speaker 2: it's and it's and it's the tougher journey for you
Speaker 2: to get sober, figure out the reason why you feel
Speaker 2: like sober you can't be all those things, overcome it,
Speaker 2: and then try to lead a fruitful, long, sustainable life
Speaker 2: as a confident, socially competent, motivated person who's sober. That's
Speaker 2: gonna be a thousand times I'm not gonna like, dude, Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's gonna be a thousand times more difficult than getting
Speaker 2: drunk every day. It's the harder path. You don't want
Speaker 2: to do the harder thing. You don't want to fucking
Speaker 2: do the work because it's god damn hard, And of
Speaker 2: course it's fuck it easier to get drunk all day.
Speaker 2: But I just you know, it's I mean.
Speaker 3: I've I've gone I've talked to I've talked you know,
Speaker 3: it's definitely not sustainable, but like I've gone to therapist,
Speaker 3: I've talked about the trauma that I've had in my
Speaker 3: childhood and I've like worked through it and gone through
Speaker 3: it and i still have this desire. And You're right,
Speaker 3: it's the easier path, but I've taken the harder path,
Speaker 3: maybe not for long enough, but I just have never
Speaker 3: felt like myself in that longer past. I know what
Speaker 3: I'm doing.
Speaker 2: Go ahead, go ahead, No you go, If you finished,
Speaker 2: then I'll tell you I.
Speaker 3: Was going to say, I've uh So, I've gone that
Speaker 3: longer pass for quite a while. I've tried it multiple times,
Speaker 3: and there's just something about it that doesn't feel like
Speaker 3: the authentic me. Like I feel very uh like the
Speaker 3: child like essence in me comes out when I'm drinking
Speaker 3: or when I'm drunk or when I'm on drugs, and
Speaker 3: I'm like giggly and happy and open and friendly, and
Speaker 3: then if I'm sober, I'm more like very like not monotone,
Speaker 3: but like the world feels monotone. And I've again, I've
Speaker 3: worked through that trauma. I've gone through it. I've admitted
Speaker 3: it all and accepted it all. So maybe there's more
Speaker 3: that I mean I haven't worked through.
Speaker 2: But can I can I admit something to you?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 3: I would love to for you to do that.
Speaker 2: I'm probably on like four hundred milligrams of caffeine right now,
Speaker 2: and it's and it's I it's when it's ironic because
Speaker 2: I think a little part of me thinks I wouldn't
Speaker 2: have been able to confidently have this conversation with you
Speaker 2: as well as I could if I were not on
Speaker 2: four hundred milligrams of caffeine. And so there's a it's
Speaker 2: I just noticed that, and I was like, there's I
Speaker 2: think a little bit of a parallel.
Speaker 3: Between can emit something? Can I omit something to you?
Speaker 3: That I realized this morning. So I was listening to
Speaker 3: the podcast with the man who was talking about time
Speaker 3: travel and how no one understands him and he got
Speaker 3: sent to a mental hospital. I think it was like
Speaker 3: last year.
Speaker 2: Yes, there was a there was a there was a
Speaker 2: just a I guess give. Yeah, there was a guy
Speaker 2: who like thought he was being stalked by time travelers. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and he went to all these like mental facilities and
Speaker 2: nobody believed him that he was being stocked.
Speaker 3: He went to one mental health facility. He messaged the FBI,
Speaker 3: it's that.
Speaker 2: One, okay, And and and I know, yeah, I know
Speaker 2: what you're talking about. Tell me how this relates to you.
Speaker 3: So as he was speaking about it and he's saying
Speaker 3: that no one believes him, it really hit me hard. So,
Speaker 3: like I went to school to be a therapist and
Speaker 3: you have to always validate people's feelings. It hit me
Speaker 3: really hard that in his entire life, even you, but
Speaker 3: I mean, you're here to get him out, no one
Speaker 3: believes him, and he believes it to be his truth
Speaker 3: because like he that is what he experienced. But what
Speaker 3: really got me at the end, which was like a
Speaker 3: synchronicity type thing because I was like, really really into
Speaker 3: that that podcast, is that he was like, Oh, I'm
Speaker 3: going to school to be at that tech and I
Speaker 3: want to work with cats and that's exactly what I do.
Speaker 3: And I was like, oh, time war Like, this just
Speaker 3: hit me real hard this morning.
Speaker 2: So you so so so for you, the idea that
Speaker 2: you need alcohol to be a competent human being is
Speaker 2: the same as the idea that this man is being
Speaker 2: stalked by time travelers.
Speaker 3: You know, they don't relate.
Speaker 1: I don't.
Speaker 2: I feel like that's is that? Is that not the
Speaker 2: parallel that you're getting out right now?
Speaker 3: So maybe no, you said something random, So I felt
Speaker 3: like I needed to say something random, and that's been
Speaker 3: on my mind, and that's been something like if I
Speaker 3: ever caught your attention to be able.
Speaker 2: To say.
Speaker 3: But maybe I just thought it was funny, like he's
Speaker 3: pursuing the same job that I've been working for four years,
Speaker 3: and I believe him on a therapeutic level. And I
Speaker 3: guess that's that's really it.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean, what's your name again, Rachel? Well, uh,
Speaker 2: do you think you're going to try to quit?
Speaker 3: Not anytime soon? I don't think so. I don't. But
Speaker 3: I also don't want to hit rock bottom again where
Speaker 3: I have to go like a detox facility, because that
Speaker 3: was the most traumatic experience I've ever had.
Speaker 2: Look, I I just I know it's easy as the
Speaker 2: guy who doesn't have to cash this check, but I believe.
Speaker 2: I know it's easy to say, is the guy who
Speaker 2: doesn't have to cash this check, But I believe that
Speaker 2: you can be a competent human being without being you know,
Speaker 2: without taking seven shots of vodka every day. That's all
Speaker 2: I can really, that's all. I'm sure. I'm sure you
Speaker 2: take more. I'm sure you take more. I for That's
Speaker 2: all I can really give you. I hope it's worth something.
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, it's worth something, I hear you out. But
Speaker 3: it's it's like you have, like you have to want
Speaker 3: it yourself, and like maybe I'll get there at some point,
Speaker 3: but it's hard to really get there when it makes
Speaker 3: you feel so good and you're not you're not seeing
Speaker 3: immediate health effects.
Speaker 2: Rachel, is there anything else you want to say to
Speaker 2: the people of the computer before you go?
Speaker 1: Hmmm?
Speaker 3: I thought about this one, and I forget what I
Speaker 3: wanted to say, but I guess get me out and
Speaker 3: pussy his life.
Speaker 2: Have a good night, Rachel.
Speaker 3: Bye.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I mean I'm a hypocrite because there's no way I'm
Speaker 2: quitting the caffeine. Hell, what is your name, sir?
Speaker 4: Let's go by John?
Speaker 2: So John, what was it you wanted to talk about today? Well?
Speaker 4: Did you see my text?
Speaker 2: I'm assuming yes, it says Hi, my name is John. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and I want to talk about by the way, there's
Speaker 2: everyone in the world's name to that, but whatever, my
Speaker 2: name is John, and I want to talk about my
Speaker 2: OnlyFans donation problem? Yeah, okay, sorry? What?
Speaker 3: What?
Speaker 2: What is? What is the problem? In your own words?
Speaker 4: So, I probably spent close to two thousand dollars in
Speaker 4: the last month or so. M M, only fans, I'd say,
Speaker 4: is a lot of money?
Speaker 2: Is that through like or like with like messaging people?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Donations?
Speaker 2: Okay, what why what do you what do you think
Speaker 2: is compelling you to to spend that much money?
Speaker 4: So there's one specific woman who has gotten all of
Speaker 4: that money. Who she made it sound like she wanted
Speaker 4: a legitimate relationship with me.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm.
Speaker 4: But the problem is I live in Seattle and she
Speaker 4: lives in Boston.
Speaker 2: Is that the problem?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: One of them?
Speaker 2: Okay, what are the other ones?
Speaker 4: Is the fact that gave her all the money?
Speaker 2: So are do you still talk? Do you? Or do
Speaker 2: you still do you still give her money?
Speaker 4: I have stopped giving her money as of last week
Speaker 4: m hm, And I still talk to her on a
Speaker 4: daily basis, that's sure earlier today.
Speaker 2: But so you're still you're still talking with her without
Speaker 2: giving her money.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Which is why I started giving her money in
Speaker 4: the first place, is because she seemed like a real person,
Speaker 4: because she was kind of on and off with the
Speaker 4: money at first.
Speaker 2: Okay, And so now you're talking to her, is she
Speaker 2: you're talking to her? Is she asking you for money?
Speaker 4: It's it'll be normal chats throughout the day, and then
Speaker 4: we'll get to the end of the night and it'll
Speaker 4: be hey to tip this much and we can keep
Speaker 4: going type thing and just it escalated quickly from that.
Speaker 2: Okay, so you you're talking to her throughout the day
Speaker 2: and then at the end she's asking you for for
Speaker 2: it's it? Yeah, what why do you think you keep
Speaker 2: talking to this lady.
Speaker 4: As I have nobody else to really talk to you?
Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah? Yeah? How long have you? How long have
Speaker 2: you had no one else to talk to?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 4: In years? Probably ever since in high school.
Speaker 1: Really, I've just.
Speaker 4: Hang out with my friends and that's all I really
Speaker 4: hang out with their, mainly on discord.
Speaker 2: Okay. Yeah, loveliness is a fucking bitch, and it'll cause
Speaker 2: you to do things like spend two thousand dollars messaging
Speaker 2: only fans. Gross. Uh yeah, So so don't don't beat
Speaker 2: yourself up too badly because you're battling quite a power
Speaker 2: orful force. My friend and I I don't I don't
Speaker 2: know how the best way to handle lone and is
Speaker 2: I mean you have your friends.
Speaker 4: Right, yeah, dude, I mean talk to them most nights.
Speaker 2: Do you attempt to like or do you download dating apps?
Speaker 2: Do you put yourself out there in any way to
Speaker 2: like meet real women?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 4: No, I have all of the apps. I've been on
Speaker 4: them for years now.
Speaker 2: Also, okay, and when you go on uh dates, how
Speaker 2: how does that go?
Speaker 3: Well?
Speaker 4: I've only managed to pull off one date, okay, and
Speaker 4: that one date ended up being with a very autistic
Speaker 4: woman okay, And it kind of kind of set me
Speaker 4: off of the whole dating app idea immediately, just from
Speaker 4: that one.
Speaker 2: Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.
Speaker 4: Why you didn't tell me at first? Mainly, and so
Speaker 4: the it just was a surprise. I was not expecting it,
Speaker 4: and it was a very.
Speaker 2: Awkward date that she was autistic?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was very.
Speaker 2: Why Why was that?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 2: Why is that a problem? I mean, like why did
Speaker 2: why is? Why is her being autistic make you not
Speaker 2: want to go on a date with another person?
Speaker 4: It's not that I don't want to go on another date,
Speaker 4: It's that I don't It's I've tried to go on
Speaker 4: another date. I've It's just the one day that I
Speaker 4: did get to go through ended up being very awkward
Speaker 4: for me.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 4: So I haven't had any other dates come up since then.
Speaker 2: Did that turn you? Did that turn you off of
Speaker 2: the idea of pursuing further dates?
Speaker 4: It turned me off of the idea of using the
Speaker 4: apps mainly, just.
Speaker 2: Just just because you had a one date that was
Speaker 2: kind of awkward. Yeah, okay, what what what? What? What
Speaker 2: ways of trying to meet people in person have you pursued?
Speaker 4: Uh? Not a lot, honestly. I mean I'll go out
Speaker 4: sometimes with friends, but I don't chat much because I'm
Speaker 4: with my friends.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I again, loneliness is a really difficult thing to
Speaker 2: deal with, you know, but you got, but you got
Speaker 2: you gotta put yourself out there. You know that you
Speaker 2: you just gotta, you know, and look, if you're if
Speaker 2: you're sending money to OnlyFans girls simult while you're trying
Speaker 2: to fucking but you gotta be at least. I mean,
Speaker 2: it's it's it's, uh like, trying to date is fucking
Speaker 2: like it sucks. But I mean what else are you
Speaker 2: gonna do? Like, you got to put yourself out there
Speaker 2: if you want to find someone, you know.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I get it.
Speaker 2: And don't and don't and don't don't let one uh
Speaker 2: experience of that. What don't let one date that you
Speaker 2: didn't have fun on, you know, prevent you from ever
Speaker 2: fucking going on other dates.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's that's a good point. Yeah, It's just I'm
Speaker 4: very hard on myself. I guess.
Speaker 2: Why why?
Speaker 4: I guess I'm just insecure. I don't know, lots of issues.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Insecurity is a bitch. Yeah, Loneliness
Speaker 2: is a bitch. I don't know, man, I don't know. Like,
Speaker 2: are your friends helpful?
Speaker 4: One of them is, the other one is not so much.
Speaker 2: Why.
Speaker 4: I work with one of my best friends, which is
Speaker 4: the one who's helpful, so I get to talk to
Speaker 4: him most days.
Speaker 2: You ever talked to a real therapist about this?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 3: I have not.
Speaker 2: Do you think it would be beneficial to.
Speaker 4: I feel like it would, But at the same time,
Speaker 4: I'm reluctant to see a therapist just because I also
Speaker 4: have that thought in the back of my head that
Speaker 4: it would just be a waste of time.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, Look man again, Uh, as somebody who has
Speaker 2: absolutely struggled with uh, loneliness and insecurity, it's a fucking bitch, dude.
Speaker 2: Uh yeah, it's a bitch. And I and and that's
Speaker 2: again the conclusion that I think I've come to and
Speaker 2: I and I think about this a lot. I swear
Speaker 2: on my life, it's that you just got to put
Speaker 2: yourself out there. That's all. That's all I that's all
Speaker 2: you can do. Bro is just ham hammer hammer away.
Speaker 2: Put yourself out there to try to find someone and
Speaker 2: and not be uh let whatever negative experiences you've had,
Speaker 2: for whatever reason prevent you from doing that. And that's
Speaker 2: that's I think the best conclusion that I've come to
Speaker 2: on on dealing with this ship.
Speaker 4: Okay, do you have any suggestions for how I might
Speaker 4: be able to put myself out there? Because I don't
Speaker 4: really have much of a social life outside of playing
Speaker 4: games on Discord.
Speaker 2: Sure ways for you to put yourself out there? I mean,
Speaker 2: you went on you gotta date. You got at least
Speaker 2: one date from the dating apps, which means that you
Speaker 2: can probably find other girls on dating apps that will
Speaker 2: go out with you. Be careful. Dating apps are are
Speaker 2: can be like very depressing and heightened insecurity natural. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I know, I get that. I get that, but I
Speaker 2: would give it another shot. But tread tread lightly because yeah,
Speaker 2: it'll just you'll there's there's many ways that dating apps
Speaker 2: can just make you feel like a piece of ship. Yeah,
Speaker 2: so there's that. Mmm, I guess where.
Speaker 3: Where do you?
Speaker 2: Where do you live?
Speaker 4: Seattle area?
Speaker 2: Okay? Look up, fucking bullshit going on in Seattle. You
Speaker 2: must have things you like doing. You play video games,
Speaker 2: look up a fucking video game tournament, you get high,
Speaker 2: look up a weed thing. You know, there's things, there's stuff.
Speaker 2: Go outside, there will be things and stuff, things and stuff.
Speaker 2: You gotta give it a shot. I I gotta you
Speaker 2: know what things. You might be being facetious, but things
Speaker 2: and stuff is the answer. No.
Speaker 4: I totally understand then. I mean I've been watching your
Speaker 4: podcast for two years probably now, so I mean I
Speaker 4: try to take everything you say the hard, but it's
Speaker 4: just difficult to apply it.
Speaker 2: Uh. I don't know what else. I fucking that scares
Speaker 2: me that you just said you try to take everything
Speaker 2: I say to heart. That that that makes me uncomfortable.
Speaker 2: But well, John, is there anything else you want to
Speaker 2: say to the people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 4: Just do your best and stay positive.
Speaker 2: I take care John, good luck. Life's fucking crazy, dude.
Speaker 2: Life's a bitch. Life's a bitch, and it's fucking crazy.
Speaker 2: He's got to deal with it being fucking crazy sometimes.
Speaker 3: Man.
Speaker 2: I I that's the absolutely, that's that's that's that's all.
Speaker 2: That's all I can can think. That's all I can think.
Speaker 2: All right, take care of John.
Speaker 1: Thank you, goodbye?
Speaker 2: That's all I got, dude, That's all I got. Man,
Speaker 2: Life's fucking crazy. That's I don't have any other conclusion
Speaker 2: about I've spoken to a billion people, and I've thought
Speaker 2: a trillion thoughts, and the closest conclusion I can come
Speaker 2: to from any and all of that data is that
Speaker 2: life is fucking crazy. Aw from Doug, Hello, Hallock, Doug
Speaker 2: Haw's it going?
Speaker 1: Hello? Let's go all right?
Speaker 2: Where are you call him? From the Great Nation of
Speaker 2: England's England's guy? What's going on over there? What are
Speaker 2: you guys doing today?
Speaker 1: Not a lot was working earlier, walking around the lake.
Speaker 2: In a minute, Let's see, it's about seven thirty pm
Speaker 2: here in New York as I'm recording, so it's like
Speaker 2: three o'clock in the fucking morning for you.
Speaker 1: Not quite just go on midnight.
Speaker 2: Oh really, that's actually not that bad of a time difference. Yeah,
Speaker 2: what are you doing up so late?
Speaker 1: Listen to you? Very nice?
Speaker 2: Well, Doug.
Speaker 1: Very different over the phone then on the stream.
Speaker 2: Why do people keep saying that. I don't know why,
Speaker 2: but well it sounds like well, the reason why it
Speaker 2: sounds different over the phone is because it's phone. When
Speaker 2: you when I talk to somebody of the phone. It
Speaker 2: sounds phony, like not not the word phony. I didn't
Speaker 2: even mean this. I literally didn't even mean to make
Speaker 2: a stupid pun. I like it's it sounds like I
Speaker 2: like a you know, like it like your voice sounds
Speaker 2: different recording it through a phone than it would if
Speaker 2: we were just speaking on none of the Who gives
Speaker 2: a ship? Doug? What's up? What do you want to
Speaker 2: talk about today?
Speaker 1: Uh? I don't know. I got a few things because
Speaker 1: you could talk about.
Speaker 2: Uh, pick pick your favorite one and we'll talk about.
Speaker 1: That poor relationship with my with my family. I suppose
Speaker 1: to be a good one.
Speaker 2: Okay, go ahead.
Speaker 1: And so I always saw a class myself as being
Speaker 1: estranged from my parents. I suppose have spoke with my
Speaker 1: twenty nine. Okay, so I haven't spoken with my mum
Speaker 1: in probably two three years, Like since you've had like
Speaker 1: a real conversation mm hmm. Father, not so much bad
Speaker 1: blood there, but just not having never really had that
Speaker 1: great relationship with them.
Speaker 2: Uh you did you? Did you estrange yourself from your
Speaker 2: parents for a particular reason?
Speaker 1: Uh? Yeah, mother definitely?
Speaker 2: Yeah, what's up if you want to talk about it? Uh?
Speaker 1: Her her husband, My like air quote stepfather and classm
Speaker 1: as being a father sort of quite abusive. Over the
Speaker 1: younger years of my life, sort of got older and
Speaker 1: older realized how fucked up was kind of thing, say,
Speaker 1: like when I was about sixteen seventeen, I sort of
Speaker 1: moved out the house, sat of my own will, had
Speaker 1: my mum somewhat guilt tripped me into coming back under
Speaker 1: the guise that she was going to leave them when
Speaker 1: my step siblings got to the age where she wouldn't
Speaker 1: have to deal with I would you call it like
Speaker 1: split custody, But then that obviously never happened, and then
Speaker 1: tried to like gaslight me into it. It was never
Speaker 1: so bad, if that makes sense.
Speaker 2: Yeah, sure, So I guess what when when did you
Speaker 2: kind of when did you kind of draw the line
Speaker 2: and you were like, fuck this, I'm not gonna gonna
Speaker 2: be around with this, this is anymore.
Speaker 1: I I'd probably say sort of around twenty one was
Speaker 1: when I kind of knew to myself and I was
Speaker 1: still living with them at the time, but there was
Speaker 1: just like zero communication. It was just living there. If
Speaker 1: I can't afford to this somewhere else, so at that point,
Speaker 1: or I can't consistently to sort of like live elsewhere.
Speaker 2: So you were you're mainly pissed off at your mom
Speaker 2: because she is still together with your stepdad even though
Speaker 2: your stepdad was being an.
Speaker 1: Asshole kindly, Yeah.
Speaker 2: Okay, is there anything more to it?
Speaker 1: Uh? I wouldn't say so, to be honest, it sounds
Speaker 1: a little stupid sort of saying it or hearing it
Speaker 1: from someone else.
Speaker 2: But why do you think it? Tell me? What? Tell
Speaker 2: me why you think it sounds stupid?
Speaker 1: I always just sounds like I'm being petty, But I wouldn't.
Speaker 1: I don't know. It's like almost sounds petty coming from you.
Speaker 1: In my head, it's I guess, my my trauma, but
Speaker 1: my lived experienced trauma. I guess if that makes any
Speaker 1: kind of sense that it doesn't really to me.
Speaker 2: But so I don't think it's petty. I think that,
Speaker 2: I mean you get to decide, You get to decide.
Speaker 2: I think the answer to that, you know what I mean,
Speaker 2: like you get to decide the whole I think the
Speaker 2: whole idea of like, am I overreacting by with this?
Speaker 2: It's like it's like up to you, like maybe you haven't.
Speaker 2: Maybe there's something where like you haven't realized that it's
Speaker 2: up to you, And like, if you really I'm not
Speaker 2: trying to steer you in a way. I have no
Speaker 2: horse in the race. But if you want to look
Speaker 2: at it and go, Okay, well, I can still probably
Speaker 2: find common ground with my mom and a reason to
Speaker 2: still have my mom and my life despite all of
Speaker 2: these things. And and I'm gonna make that decision. That's
Speaker 2: your decision to make. And if you want to look
Speaker 2: at this and go, you know what, no, she this
Speaker 2: has kind of been an unacceptable thing and a boundary,
Speaker 2: then that's your decision to make.
Speaker 3: But the.
Speaker 2: Like, why does it sound petty when you hear it
Speaker 2: back from someone else? I don't know, Maybe maybe you
Speaker 2: you could like think about it more and and really
Speaker 2: kind of think think about it long. I guess I
Speaker 2: would think about it long enough that when you make
Speaker 2: your decision, you can say to yourself, you know what,
Speaker 2: I've thought about this from all angles. I've really taken
Speaker 2: how I feel into consideration. I've really taken the events
Speaker 2: into consideration, and I've made an informed decision as to
Speaker 2: what I want to do next, you know, with all
Speaker 2: this information, And there's some comfort in that, and I'm
Speaker 2: sure you've done, and also you can continue to reevaluate
Speaker 2: that decision as you go. Does any Does that fucking
Speaker 2: make sense?
Speaker 1: I guess where it's like, I guess it sounds petty
Speaker 1: coming from you because I'm only hearing that half the story,
Speaker 1: or like im in half like a faction of it,
Speaker 1: If that makes sense. I'm not sure sure.
Speaker 2: By the way, I'm not trying to make it sound petty.
Speaker 1: Oh no, I'm not saying you are. That was just
Speaker 1: the first word I can think in my head to
Speaker 1: describe sort of how I felt when hearing it coming
Speaker 1: from you, rather than in my own brain.
Speaker 2: Okay, So, like, do you, like, do you feel confident
Speaker 2: in your decision to not have your mom in your life?
Speaker 1: Yeah, i'd say so, but i'd more or less sort
Speaker 1: of accepted that the next time I would see her
Speaker 1: would either be at my sister's wedding or when my grandpa,
Speaker 1: when one of my grandparents passed away.
Speaker 2: Okay, so like.
Speaker 1: Not so much dead set, but that was sort of
Speaker 1: I'm not sure exactly how to put it, by a
Speaker 1: sort of like mentally preparing myself for that point because
Speaker 1: I know, like that's something I couldn't avoid if that
Speaker 1: makes sense, Like now I don't need to see them,
Speaker 1: I know, avoid them like all costs. See them, see them,
Speaker 1: see them in like the garage. I'll turn around, walk out,
Speaker 1: come back there twenty minutes later kind of thing.
Speaker 2: Hm. Well, I look, man, I think if that's the
Speaker 2: decision that you made and you're coughing on that decision, uh,
Speaker 2: then I don't know. I wouldn't. I wouldn't think that.
Speaker 2: I don't think that that's petty at all. Maybe I
Speaker 2: guess it sounds petty again because you heard me say
Speaker 2: it from a place with no context, and you have
Speaker 2: one hundred percent of the context. But yeah, you made
Speaker 2: you made your decision with one hundred percent of the context.
Speaker 2: So I think I think you're I think you're good.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's somewhat relieving to hear. I think a lot
Speaker 1: of people like to have spoken to him about this.
Speaker 1: Some of them completely get it, where they've known my
Speaker 1: stepdad for like not a long with me, but for
Speaker 1: like ten plus years. No, he's an absolute jackass, right.
Speaker 1: But then there's like the people that don't have much context, like, well,
Speaker 1: it's your mum, man, Like you can't hate your mum.
Speaker 2: Hey, can I ask you for advice while I have
Speaker 2: you on the phone? Sure, there's a complete a right?
Speaker 2: Can we can I change the subject? Or do is
Speaker 2: there still more stuff about this you want to talk about?
Speaker 2: That's a question?
Speaker 1: No, that general question going cheap?
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 2: You sure?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, I'm sure.
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, So I'm doing my live show in
Speaker 2: in in the UK and like London in November.
Speaker 1: And oh my god, I didn't know. That's amazing.
Speaker 2: Fuck and damn, I don't know how to talk about
Speaker 2: this without giving like a little bit of a spoiler.
Speaker 2: Uh ship, all right, I'll just say this. Do you
Speaker 2: guys have Reese's cups over there?
Speaker 1: We do?
Speaker 2: All right? Thank god?
Speaker 1: Fucking amazing.
Speaker 2: That's so relieving. Do you guys have a lot of
Speaker 2: like American candy?
Speaker 1: Yes? You have to go to the right place all right.
Speaker 1: Here it's like a big soup market. I probably have
Speaker 1: like an American food section.
Speaker 2: All right, okay, good good, all right, I'm gonna I'm
Speaker 2: not gonna say anything else, but that's that's you know,
Speaker 2: how you know earlier you just said that you're relieved,
Speaker 2: Like I feel relieved by by you saying that as well.
Speaker 1: That's good. I hope it makes your trip to the
Speaker 1: UK more enjoyable knowing you've got those home comforts here
Speaker 1: for you as well.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: Are the tickets available already for your show in London?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, I'm doing the Clapham Grand which sounds very Londony.
Speaker 2: Have you been there?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I have not.
Speaker 2: Okay, it sounds like sounds like a place where it
Speaker 2: sounds like a place where they have a fucking British ship.
Speaker 2: I don't I should stop talking, Doug. I've enjoyed. I've
Speaker 2: enjoyed talking you. Is there anything else that you wanted
Speaker 2: to talk about before we go?
Speaker 1: There is something else you could talk about, but it's
Speaker 1: not something I'd necessarily want to end up on a
Speaker 1: real somewhere, if that makes sense.
Speaker 2: Okay. I mean this is a public Whatever you say,
Speaker 2: I am going to put into a podcast that will
Speaker 2: be listened to thousand people.
Speaker 1: Podcast is all cool. It's not as out there, if
Speaker 1: that makes sense.
Speaker 2: Okay. I mean, is it quick if you If it's quick,
Speaker 2: we can do a quick thing.
Speaker 1: Uh quick enough? All right?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 1: It's like about a year ago, I was a victim
Speaker 1: to a sextortion scam, which was quite a headspin, I must.
Speaker 2: Say, WHOA what happens? Uh?
Speaker 1: So, you know, yeah, matches someone on an app new
Speaker 1: from that app to somewhere else. Things get a little
Speaker 1: bit frisky sent well, at the time, I'm asily thinking
Speaker 1: I'm sending pictures to someone else, to someone else, it's
Speaker 1: not the person that I think I'm sending them to.
Speaker 2: Mm hmmm, and.
Speaker 1: So like at certain point they wanted to do like
Speaker 1: a video call. Wasn't really quite down for that, but
Speaker 1: you know, I didn't want to quite lose the fire.
Speaker 1: About a few seconds into that call, they got hung
Speaker 1: up and then started then sending pictures of I sent
Speaker 1: to them back to me, and then screenshots of them
Speaker 1: going to send them to like people from your Instagram
Speaker 1: micro friends list.
Speaker 2: Ah, what happened? Did she end up sending it or
Speaker 2: I guess it's not a lady, did you? Did they
Speaker 2: end up sending the photos to your friends and stuff?
Speaker 1: Yeah? So they sent it to like six people from
Speaker 1: the list. One of them was a guy I went
Speaker 1: to UNI with and they hoped so at the time,
Speaker 1: in the space of time from a sext in them
Speaker 1: telling me that they're blackmailing me. Then my friend from
Speaker 1: UNI messaging me saying, dude, I've just been sending this.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Like, I hope you're good. My dick was
Speaker 1: still hard, and like seeing that time it happened that fast.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it happened so fast. Your dick was still hard
Speaker 2: by the time he said. No, that's that's here's the thing.
Speaker 2: Here's the thing that's super fucked up. That's super fucked up.
Speaker 2: The only real thing like that that's super fucked up.
Speaker 2: The only thing you can really do is be like
Speaker 2: like if you really just gotta be like, yep, that's
Speaker 2: my dick, you know what I mean. But you just
Speaker 2: gotta You're like, like if your friend is like, bro
Speaker 2: this like bought account, is sending me pictures of your dick,
Speaker 2: you just gotta be like, Yep, that's my dick and
Speaker 2: balls that's yeah, I am a human man with a penis,
Speaker 2: and yes, that is a picture of it.
Speaker 1: They awkward have my friends time I had a nice cock?
Speaker 1: Though I can't lie.
Speaker 2: Your friend told you had a nice cock. Yeah, all right,
Speaker 2: so and all I guess it all worked out in
Speaker 2: the end. What yeah, did she did she did she
Speaker 2: send it to your mom? I mean, what's that though? Right?
Speaker 2: Like like your mom's senior cock. All right, your mom
Speaker 2: and your mom literally invented your cock, So what who
Speaker 2: gives a ship exactly?
Speaker 1: But I like somewhat convinced them that I was going
Speaker 1: to pay them. At the end of the month, they
Speaker 1: deleted the messages, so like, to my knowledge, the six
Speaker 1: people they sent it to, that guy was the only
Speaker 1: one that like opened the message Of.
Speaker 2: The six people they sent to, was there anyone where
Speaker 2: you were like, I really don't want that person to
Speaker 2: see this picture of my dick?
Speaker 1: Uh? Yes, It was more I didn't want them to
Speaker 1: talk about it to one of their friends, which I
Speaker 1: was like very interested in, not at the time but
Speaker 1: in the past. And it was more that should just
Speaker 1: be like really fucking awkward.
Speaker 2: Uh, you like I had hooked up with this parson.
Speaker 1: I hadn't hooked up, but like talk for quite a
Speaker 1: while and been like on and off, like talking blah
Speaker 1: blah blah, but nothing like it actually happened. Rather not
Speaker 1: that's the instance of seeing my dick being they're like
Speaker 1: gay best friend, Like, hey, check out.
Speaker 2: Now what if what if the extortionists ended up sending
Speaker 2: this person a picture of your dick and then they
Speaker 2: messaged you and they were like, hey, I got a
Speaker 2: picture of your dick from this random account on Instagram.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry that happened to you. But then in parentheses
Speaker 2: they were like, but also it's a nice dick if
Speaker 2: you ever want to hang out.
Speaker 1: I mean, that would have been a nice silver lining.
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, did you ever pay this person? No?
Speaker 1: So now, so I like delete all my social media
Speaker 1: and like any way they could contact me before the
Speaker 1: day I told them I was going to pay. And
Speaker 1: then because they can have no again hold of you,
Speaker 1: they just move on to someone else because we've obviously
Speaker 1: want to make money.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker 1: And then to my knowledge, it didn't get sent to
Speaker 1: anyone else, but like spoke to people that I thought
Speaker 1: it could get sent to from the list they had.
Speaker 1: I was like, hey, you might get said a picture
Speaker 1: of my dick A bit awkward. Could you let me
Speaker 1: know so I know it's happening. And so it didn't happen,
Speaker 1: but I guess me somewhat self exposing it did make
Speaker 1: it happen almost.
Speaker 2: Well hold on, well, hold on, when you say self exposed,
Speaker 2: you did you you didn't go to your friends and
Speaker 2: you were like, hey, you might get sent a picture
Speaker 2: of my dick, and just in case if you do,
Speaker 2: here's what that picture might look like.
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I did a little bit for some people.
Speaker 2: I was, I was just joking. Did you really do that?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Obviously obviously like self censors. You know, like some.
Speaker 2: You said you preemptively sent a bunch of your friends
Speaker 2: a picture of your blurry dick.
Speaker 1: No no, no, not sent like showed him in personal.
Speaker 1: I don't know if if that makes it any better
Speaker 1: really worse.
Speaker 2: I guess, sir, Yeah, I guess that's a strategy. I respect.
Speaker 2: I respect that. I respect that. I respect that. Doug
Speaker 2: is good talking to you, sir. Thanks for sharing your stories,
Speaker 2: Thanks for sharing your accent, Thanks for letting us know
Speaker 2: what's going on across the pond. Is there anything else
Speaker 2: you want to say to the people of the computer
Speaker 2: before we go.
Speaker 1: I've heard a lot of people, like callers in say
Speaker 1: that they're going to study cybersecurity. I don't know if
Speaker 1: you'd like noticed that trend as well.
Speaker 2: Not at all.
Speaker 1: It podcasts all the time at work, and like all
Speaker 1: the time I hear like cybersecurity, Like if we have
Speaker 1: a couple of you have a couple of shows listen
Speaker 1: out for it. But it's like a recommendation to those
Speaker 1: those people try to get internship's like while you're at UNI.
Speaker 1: It's really tough job market when you're a graduate.
Speaker 2: All right, all right, take care, sir. You see I
Speaker 2: was talking to See I do kind of like that.
Speaker 2: This guy's origin story is that, you know, this whole
Speaker 2: thing happened with him with the dig pic thing, and
Speaker 2: so he decides to dedicate his life to cybersecurity and
Speaker 2: goes on the line taking your phone calls every night,
Speaker 2: every beacon, goes.
Speaker 3: To just teaching you loud in the mid of your life.
Speaker 2: And he's not really an expert.