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Speaker 1: Hello, Yeah, how are you?

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Speaker 2: I'm good. What is your name?

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Speaker 3: It's Rachel?

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Speaker 2: Rachel. How's life dude?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's good actually right now?

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Speaker 2: Well I'm happy to hear that. What'd you want to

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Speaker 2: talk about today?

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Speaker 3: Do you see any of my texts?

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Speaker 2: Nope?

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Speaker 3: Now okay, all right, So no, life's good. I've been

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Speaker 3: a drug addict since I'm thirteen, and I am your

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Speaker 3: age right now. I am extremely functional. I am super dedicated,

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Speaker 3: super passionate, can carry a job, but had lots of

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Speaker 3: trauma in life. So I don't know which way do

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Speaker 3: you want to take it.

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Speaker 2: How old do you think I am?

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Speaker 3: Like twenty six?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm twenty six, so I just.

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Speaker 3: I turned twenty five in May, so we're similar ages.

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Speaker 2: So are you still Are you still addicted to drugs?

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Speaker 3: Oh?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Absolutely?

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Speaker 2: Do you see a drug counselor person?

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Speaker 3: I used to, but my insurance they terminated my plan,

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Speaker 3: so I haven't recently, and I I so when I

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Speaker 3: stopped seeing them, everything kind of like kicked back into action.

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Speaker 3: But I'm not doing anything like heavy anymore. I haven't

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Speaker 3: done anything heavy since I was probably like twenty, I

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Speaker 3: mean three.

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Speaker 2: Okay, you but you don't seem like you're doing this,

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Speaker 2: but I'm just going to give this uh disclaimer real

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Speaker 2: drank h I am not a real therapist. I know

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Speaker 2: you know that, I know you listen to the podcasts,

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Speaker 2: and I know I know you know that, I know

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Speaker 2: I know, I know you know, I know you know.

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Speaker 2: But just putting that out there, I'm not a real therapist.

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Speaker 2: I'm happy to talk to you about my current drug

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Speaker 2: addiction as like a random dude on the internet, but

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Speaker 2: as long as I'm just establishing that context.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so I went to school to be a therapist,

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Speaker 3: so I understand, and I've listened to your podcast for

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Speaker 3: quite some time, so I totally understand where you're coming from. Honestly,

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Speaker 3: you could be a service.

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Speaker 2: But now that we've established that, we can get into

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Speaker 2: the fun part. What kind of drugs are you addicted to?

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Speaker 3: So right now it's just alcohol. I used to be

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Speaker 3: addicted to cocaine. I did acid every weekend for two

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Speaker 3: years while I was in high school. I did a

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Speaker 3: bunch of cocaine post high school. In college, dabbled in ketamine.

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Speaker 3: Nothing like. I didn't do math, I didn't do heroine.

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Speaker 3: I addicted to opioids from like fourteen to sixteen.

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Speaker 2: So right now, it's just you're just drinking a lot.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, I don't smoke weed because I get too anxious.

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Speaker 3: So right now it's really just go ahead.

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Speaker 2: Are you drunk right now?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Really?

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, Well I'm not drunk. So my thing is

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Speaker 3: like I can drink and be super super functional. I

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Speaker 3: probably so when your podcast started, about thirty minutes into it,

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Speaker 3: I had like four shots of vodka. I think I

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Speaker 3: took three or four more.

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Speaker 2: Since you don't sound even slightly ineviated, That's that's.

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Speaker 3: What the issue is. I'm a very functional person. I

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Speaker 3: just get like more like lovey dovey and more like

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Speaker 3: into my emotions.

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Speaker 2: I guess so you you're seven shots deep right now,

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Speaker 2: if not more, Yeah, that's crazy. How long have you been?

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Speaker 2: Like do you drink every day?

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Speaker 3: So I went to a jizoq facility at one point

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Speaker 3: because I was like I can't do it anymore, and

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Speaker 3: I was like two months sober, and then since then, yeah,

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Speaker 3: I've pretty much just been drinking every day. So that

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Speaker 3: was like in March.

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Speaker 2: So and you have this thing where you can just

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Speaker 2: take seven shots. That's I mean, I've literally I mean,

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Speaker 2: you sound like a stone cold souper after seven. That's crazy.

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Speaker 2: I've never encountered that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: No, I can drink half a bottle Latinos and someone

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Speaker 3: wouldn't know that I'm actually drunk. And so they asked

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Speaker 3: me about my day and they're like, oh, you remember that,

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Speaker 3: And I'm like what, No, And.

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Speaker 2: This doesn't does this affect your job or your relationships

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Speaker 2: or like, how does does this negatively affect your life?

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Speaker 3: No? None at all. Besides like maybe sometimes I'm linked

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Speaker 3: to work. Actually most of the time, I'm like five

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Speaker 3: ten minutes fleet to work. But no, I hold a job,

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Speaker 3: I hold my friendships, I hold a relationship. I carry

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Speaker 3: on with my life.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so you're you're in a relationship, you have a boyfriend.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I have a new boyfriend. It's only been like

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Speaker 3: maybe a month.

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Speaker 2: And what's your boyfriend think about all this?

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Speaker 3: I don't know. I haven't asked him. He's very aware

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Speaker 3: of it, but I have not asked him specifically what

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Speaker 3: he thinks about it.

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Speaker 2: In your twenty six years of or I guess thirteen

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Speaker 2: years of like drug addiction, has alcohol or any of

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Speaker 2: these stuff like has had Like I guess, clearly you've

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Speaker 2: been able to be functional, but like, has it taken

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Speaker 2: a toll on any any things in your life?

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Speaker 3: Not particularly, I mean, and maybe like when I was

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Speaker 3: in high school, I was like, I don't give a fuck,

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Speaker 3: and I had like a one point eight GPA. And

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Speaker 3: then my boyfriend went to a high end college, a

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Speaker 3: high end university, and I wanted to follow him there

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Speaker 3: boyfriend of the time. Uh So I got my shit together,

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Speaker 3: still drank, but got my shit together and got my

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Speaker 3: GPA up and got accepted into the college. And I

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Speaker 3: was with him my previous ex, for like six years,

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Speaker 3: and I graduated with a three point nine seven five.

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Speaker 3: So I would I didn't say it has maybe likes.

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Speaker 3: It's all physical effects. If if I'm being honest, how do.

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Speaker 2: You physically feel right now?

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Speaker 3: I get like chronic diarrhea right now, though right now

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Speaker 3: I feel great. But yeah, I have like my I

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Speaker 3: have like GI issues. I have like hangovers occasionally, not occasionally,

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Speaker 3: I would say, maybe like I wake up in the morning,

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Speaker 3: don't feel great. By by midday I feel fine. I

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Speaker 3: definitely I've I've gotten to the point where I'm so

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Speaker 3: drunk that I'm like, you know what, we could just

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Speaker 3: end this all. And I've tried to commit to that

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Speaker 3: a few times.

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Speaker 2: How recently, as that happens.

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Speaker 3: The last time, it's probably like, well, I also was

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Speaker 3: on shrooms, so so the last time I was drinking

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Speaker 3: and tried was probably like two years ago. But the

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Speaker 3: last time that I tried was maybe a year and

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Speaker 3: a half ago. But I was tripping really hard. I

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Speaker 3: didn't even drink. I was just tripping really hard.

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Speaker 2: And true, do you feel better now?

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Speaker 3: I mean currently right now? Yeah, I feel great where

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Speaker 3: I'm at, like having a partner that I'm really really into,

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Speaker 3: and I have a great job, and I have a

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Speaker 3: great apartment, and I pay my bills and I have

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Speaker 3: three beautiful kiddies.

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Speaker 2: So I guess, why do you keep drinking every day?

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Speaker 3: It's not even like like I mean, I go through

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Speaker 3: withdraw if I don't drink, But that's not why I

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Speaker 3: keep drinking. It's more of like it feels very freeing,

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Speaker 3: like I have no anxiety, my depression's gone, Like I

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Speaker 3: just feel like a great human being if I drink,

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Speaker 3: whether it's a small amount or a large amount, So it.

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Speaker 2: Just numbs your like your anxiety and your depression, and

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Speaker 2: you just keep keep it up so that you don't

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Speaker 2: have to deal with all that shit.

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Speaker 3: And I mean I have faced it. I've been sober.

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Speaker 3: I have faced it. I've gone through many months of

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Speaker 3: therapy and been put on medications and stuff, and I

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Speaker 3: still have felt never better if I drink.

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Speaker 2: And in the past thirteen years of dealing with this stuff,

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Speaker 2: you have been to rehab and you have talked to

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Speaker 2: counselors and therapists and whatnot. Right, Yes, what do they

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Speaker 2: what do they tell you? Like if you like, I'm

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Speaker 2: sure you've expressed this sentiment that you just expressed to me,

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Speaker 2: this idea of like, Okay, well, when I'm drunk, I

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Speaker 2: don't have to deal with my anxiety. I don't have

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Speaker 2: to deal with my depression all this time. When you

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Speaker 2: tell that to these people, what do they tell you?

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Speaker 3: I mean, that is like addiction, that you're just like

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Speaker 3: numbing out and stuff like that. But I, in my opinion,

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Speaker 3: I feel more. I'm able to express more when I

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Speaker 3: am drunk or high or tripping or anything. And I

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Speaker 3: think it comes down to me like numbing out my

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Speaker 3: emotions when I'm sober. And I mean, if you do

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Speaker 3: that for over a decade and numb yourself out because

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Speaker 3: of trauma and stuff. It feels great to just like

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Speaker 3: let loose for once and not be stuck in your head.

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Speaker 2: Sober sober you is stuck in your head?

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Speaker 3: Oh, absolutely, overthinking constantly.

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Speaker 2: Well, I can't fucking argue with that. I can't fucking

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Speaker 2: argue with that. I can't. Yes, you're gonna overthink, and

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Speaker 2: you're gonna you're gonna overthink and be more anxious when

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Speaker 2: you're sober than when you're drunk. Sure, that is a

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Speaker 2: thing I cannot argue with. And I guess so you're

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Speaker 2: trying to cheat the system because you went like, because,

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Speaker 2: all right, because because that's what it is. Right, It's like,

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Speaker 2: have you've heard that fucking idea that like alcohol is

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Speaker 2: borrowing your happiness from tomorrow? Right, you've heard that? And

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Speaker 2: so you were you were, you were like, oh, I

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Speaker 2: have this genius idea. If I just keep drinking, tomorrow

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Speaker 2: will never come and I'll never have to pay the

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Speaker 2: debt back. I'll just keep borrowing, just borrowing until I

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Speaker 2: until until I die, and then once I die, they

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Speaker 2: can't reap my my debt back. That was that's the idea, right,

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Speaker 2: Not really.

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Speaker 3: I don't I don't necessarily agree with the last part,

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Speaker 3: like I drink for the moment, not not to be like,

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Speaker 3: oh tomorrow will be better like it, I mean tars

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Speaker 3: and be worse regardless until you like start up again

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Speaker 3: or honestly, to be honest, I have great relationships with

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Speaker 3: all my coworkers, all my friends, and that also gives

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Speaker 3: me a release if I'm sober like I have. I'm

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Speaker 3: such a social person. I am fucking hilarious. Not to

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Speaker 3: get to my own goats, but I have so much

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Speaker 3: fun socializing with people that I can be sober like

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Speaker 3: post drinking and be very very happy and not in

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Speaker 3: my head.

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Speaker 2: So let me ask you this, do you want to

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Speaker 2: stop drinking?

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Speaker 3: I did for a while. Yeah, I went to.

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Speaker 2: Like yohalaha, you did stop drinking or you did want

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Speaker 2: to stop drinking.

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Speaker 3: I did want to and I did stop, Okay, and

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Speaker 3: now do your utility?

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Speaker 2: Now do you want to stop drinking? Like as you know?

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Speaker 3: So No, that's what the hard part is. I know

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Speaker 3: that like on a systemic level, like my body is

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Speaker 3: gonna like the chat had said, I saw one comment

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Speaker 3: like you're gonna die at forty five, like probably, and

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Speaker 3: that is my biggest fear, Like I don't want to

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Speaker 3: because it brings me so much joy and so much

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Speaker 3: release in my day to day life. But I know

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Speaker 3: that health wise is not okay, and that gives me

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Speaker 3: a lot of anxiety to think about that. You know,

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna get like lymphoma or like mouth cancer or

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Speaker 3: you know, I'm just gonna have like.

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Speaker 2: Can I I'm gonna I'm gonna try my best here

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Speaker 2: with this.

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Speaker 3: Okay.

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Speaker 2: So, and I think I actually talked to somebody who

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Speaker 2: had a kind of similar issue, maybe like a year ago,

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Speaker 2: on this podcast.

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Speaker 3: But I probably already listened to it.

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Speaker 2: So okay, So a few things. Clearly, you you you

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Speaker 2: don't suffer from confidence issues, which is good. You like

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Speaker 2: you like yourself. You know that you're great at socializing.

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Speaker 2: You know that you're good at talking to people. You

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Speaker 2: know that you're good at your job. You know that

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Speaker 2: you're you know, attractive enough to hold down a relationship,

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Speaker 2: that you are emotionally available enough to hold down a relationship.

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Speaker 2: Like you don't you have a positive self image of yourself? Right?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Correct? And it's not even just like something that's in

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Speaker 2: your head. It's like proven you're holding down a relationship,

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Speaker 2: you're holding down a job. You're holding down friends, you're

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Speaker 2: doing all this stuff. Uh, do you believe that you

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Speaker 2: can do those things sober? That you can be this

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Speaker 2: person sober?

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Speaker 3: I do believe I could. But do I feel that

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Speaker 3: on like a cellular level when I'm sober. No, I

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Speaker 3: feel like I'm withdrawn and I'm not as exciting. And

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Speaker 3: I've been told wrong already from like friends who I

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Speaker 3: got sober with. But I probably could, but to me,

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Speaker 3: it's not as exciting, for whatever.

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Speaker 2: It's worth from me, I believe you can do all

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Speaker 2: of those things sober now. Of course, after like drinking

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Speaker 2: as much as you have, like you're gonna be going

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Speaker 2: through crazy withdraws and yeah, and look and look and look.

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Speaker 2: Maybe I know I'm not a psychologist, I'm not a scientist.

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Speaker 2: I don't I don't know. I'm not a medical person,

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Speaker 2: so I don't know the timeline of how long it

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Speaker 2: takes to get over with draws. But like, maybe if

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Speaker 2: you quit drinking, you'd experience and I mean, look, you

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Speaker 2: told me you quit drinking a while, so maybe you've

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Speaker 2: experienced already. Maybe when you quit drinking, you experience those

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Speaker 2: withdraws for however long. I don't know. I don't know

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Speaker 2: how long it takes for you to come up.

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Speaker 3: With it's like three to six days.

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Speaker 2: Three to six days, okay, So for the next three

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Speaker 2: to six days, maybe you're not all those things because

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Speaker 2: you're dealing with fucking withdrawals. But then once you get

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Speaker 2: over your hurdle, I fully believe you can be a confident, successful,

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Speaker 2: competent person doing all these things, being social, having a

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Speaker 2: good life, sober and get this.

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Speaker 3: So I've done that, I've done okay.

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Speaker 2: Okay, tell me what happened when you did that?

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Speaker 3: So I fell super so when I got sober, I

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Speaker 3: the counselor I was seeing, wanted to put me on

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Speaker 3: anti depresence and anti anxiety because I had no drive

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Speaker 3: to do anything. I would stay in bed. I didn't

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Speaker 3: want to socialize. I didn't want to like go on

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Speaker 3: tender and meet people. I didn't want to be adventurous.

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Speaker 3: Like it was very much not what I know me

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Speaker 3: as myself, But it like what I know me as

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Speaker 3: myself right now is who I was when I was

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Speaker 3: like a kid and sober. So I mean, maybe there's

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Speaker 3: a larger hump to get over. Whether it's like a couple.

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Speaker 2: Months, how long, how long were you sober for two

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Speaker 2: and a half months and during that two and a

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Speaker 2: half months you didn't feel like yourself?

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Speaker 3: No, not at all.

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Speaker 2: I want to believe. I I'm not a doctor, I'm

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Speaker 2: a man, but I'm a man in a gecko coster

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Speaker 2: who really wants to believe. There is some reason why,

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Speaker 2: when you are sober for those two months, you're not

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Speaker 2: feeling yourself and that reason is not because you're sober.

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Speaker 2: I don't know what that reason is. I also want

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Speaker 2: to believe. I also want to believe that you can

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Speaker 2: figure out what that reason is and then you can

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Speaker 2: solve it. Because here's the thing, even if your brain

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Speaker 2: is right, which I'm telling you I don't think it is,

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Speaker 2: even if you're even if your brain is right, that

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Speaker 2: the that the reason you're able to be socially confident

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Speaker 2: and and all and all these great things in your

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Speaker 2: life is because you're drunk. Whoop the fucking do You're

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Speaker 2: gonna be able to be those you're because you're gonna

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Speaker 2: be able to be those things for really not that

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Speaker 2: long because it's gonna kill you. So who cares if

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Speaker 2: it's the reason? Who? So? Who cares? If it's the

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Speaker 2: reason that you're all those things right, and it's and

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Speaker 2: it's and it's and it's the tougher journey for you

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Speaker 2: to get sober, figure out the reason why you feel

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Speaker 2: like sober you can't be all those things, overcome it,

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Speaker 2: and then try to lead a fruitful, long, sustainable life

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Speaker 2: as a confident, socially competent, motivated person who's sober. That's

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Speaker 2: gonna be a thousand times I'm not gonna like, dude, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: it's gonna be a thousand times more difficult than getting

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Speaker 2: drunk every day. It's the harder path. You don't want

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Speaker 2: to do the harder thing. You don't want to fucking

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Speaker 2: do the work because it's god damn hard, And of

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Speaker 2: course it's fuck it easier to get drunk all day.

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Speaker 2: But I just you know, it's I mean.

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Speaker 3: I've I've gone I've talked to I've talked you know,

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Speaker 3: it's definitely not sustainable, but like I've gone to therapist,

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Speaker 3: I've talked about the trauma that I've had in my

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Speaker 3: childhood and I've like worked through it and gone through

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Speaker 3: it and i still have this desire. And You're right,

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Speaker 3: it's the easier path, but I've taken the harder path,

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Speaker 3: maybe not for long enough, but I just have never

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Speaker 3: felt like myself in that longer past. I know what

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Speaker 3: I'm doing.

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Speaker 2: Go ahead, go ahead, No you go, If you finished,

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Speaker 2: then I'll tell you I.

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Speaker 3: Was going to say, I've uh So, I've gone that

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Speaker 3: longer pass for quite a while. I've tried it multiple times,

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Speaker 3: and there's just something about it that doesn't feel like

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Speaker 3: the authentic me. Like I feel very uh like the

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Speaker 3: child like essence in me comes out when I'm drinking

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Speaker 3: or when I'm drunk or when I'm on drugs, and

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Speaker 3: I'm like giggly and happy and open and friendly, and

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00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:14,719
Speaker 3: then if I'm sober, I'm more like very like not monotone,

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00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:18,440
Speaker 3: but like the world feels monotone. And I've again, I've

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Speaker 3: worked through that trauma. I've gone through it. I've admitted

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00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:27,000
Speaker 3: it all and accepted it all. So maybe there's more

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Speaker 3: that I mean I haven't worked through.

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Speaker 2: But can I can I admit something to you?

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Speaker 1: Yes?

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Speaker 3: I would love to for you to do that.

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Speaker 2: I'm probably on like four hundred milligrams of caffeine right now,

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Speaker 2: and it's and it's I it's when it's ironic because

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Speaker 2: I think a little part of me thinks I wouldn't

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Speaker 2: have been able to confidently have this conversation with you

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Speaker 2: as well as I could if I were not on

347
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Speaker 2: four hundred milligrams of caffeine. And so there's a it's

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Speaker 2: I just noticed that, and I was like, there's I

349
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Speaker 2: think a little bit of a parallel.

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Speaker 3: Between can emit something? Can I omit something to you?

351
00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:12,159
Speaker 3: That I realized this morning. So I was listening to

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00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:17,879
Speaker 3: the podcast with the man who was talking about time

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Speaker 3: travel and how no one understands him and he got

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Speaker 3: sent to a mental hospital. I think it was like

355
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Speaker 3: last year.

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Speaker 2: Yes, there was a there was a there was a

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Speaker 2: just a I guess give. Yeah, there was a guy

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Speaker 2: who like thought he was being stalked by time travelers. Yeah,

359
00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:39,640
Speaker 2: and he went to all these like mental facilities and

360
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Speaker 2: nobody believed him that he was being stocked.

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Speaker 3: He went to one mental health facility. He messaged the FBI,

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Speaker 3: it's that.

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Speaker 2: One, okay, And and and I know, yeah, I know

364
00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:51,919
Speaker 2: what you're talking about. Tell me how this relates to you.

365
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Speaker 3: So as he was speaking about it and he's saying

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Speaker 3: that no one believes him, it really hit me hard. So,

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Speaker 3: like I went to school to be a therapist and

368
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:03,560
Speaker 3: you have to always validate people's feelings. It hit me

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Speaker 3: really hard that in his entire life, even you, but

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Speaker 3: I mean, you're here to get him out, no one

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Speaker 3: believes him, and he believes it to be his truth

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Speaker 3: because like he that is what he experienced. But what

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Speaker 3: really got me at the end, which was like a

374
00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:24,639
Speaker 3: synchronicity type thing because I was like, really really into

375
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Speaker 3: that that podcast, is that he was like, Oh, I'm

376
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:30,280
Speaker 3: going to school to be at that tech and I

377
00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:33,000
Speaker 3: want to work with cats and that's exactly what I do.

378
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Speaker 3: And I was like, oh, time war Like, this just

379
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Speaker 3: hit me real hard this morning.

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Speaker 2: So you so so so for you, the idea that

381
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Speaker 2: you need alcohol to be a competent human being is

382
00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:52,040
Speaker 2: the same as the idea that this man is being

383
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Speaker 2: stalked by time travelers.

384
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Speaker 3: You know, they don't relate.

385
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Speaker 1: I don't.

386
00:21:57,080 --> 00:21:58,960
Speaker 2: I feel like that's is that? Is that not the

387
00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:00,480
Speaker 2: parallel that you're getting out right now?

388
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:04,320
Speaker 3: So maybe no, you said something random, So I felt

389
00:22:04,359 --> 00:22:06,880
Speaker 3: like I needed to say something random, and that's been

390
00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:08,919
Speaker 3: on my mind, and that's been something like if I

391
00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:11,080
Speaker 3: ever caught your attention to be able.

392
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Speaker 2: To say.

393
00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:17,160
Speaker 3: But maybe I just thought it was funny, like he's

394
00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:20,720
Speaker 3: pursuing the same job that I've been working for four years,

395
00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:27,159
Speaker 3: and I believe him on a therapeutic level. And I

396
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:29,000
Speaker 3: guess that's that's really it.

397
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Speaker 2: Well, I mean, what's your name again, Rachel? Well, uh,

398
00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:46,120
Speaker 2: do you think you're going to try to quit?

399
00:22:49,359 --> 00:22:53,040
Speaker 3: Not anytime soon? I don't think so. I don't. But

400
00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:54,960
Speaker 3: I also don't want to hit rock bottom again where

401
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:57,399
Speaker 3: I have to go like a detox facility, because that

402
00:22:57,600 --> 00:23:00,280
Speaker 3: was the most traumatic experience I've ever had.

403
00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:06,439
Speaker 2: Look, I I just I know it's easy as the

404
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:10,760
Speaker 2: guy who doesn't have to cash this check, but I believe.

405
00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:12,320
Speaker 2: I know it's easy to say, is the guy who

406
00:23:12,359 --> 00:23:16,200
Speaker 2: doesn't have to cash this check, But I believe that

407
00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:20,480
Speaker 2: you can be a competent human being without being you know,

408
00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:24,000
Speaker 2: without taking seven shots of vodka every day. That's all

409
00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:27,040
Speaker 2: I can really, that's all. I'm sure. I'm sure you

410
00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:31,080
Speaker 2: take more. I'm sure you take more. I for That's

411
00:23:31,119 --> 00:23:33,800
Speaker 2: all I can really give you. I hope it's worth something.

412
00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:36,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, it's worth something, I hear you out. But

413
00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:39,800
Speaker 3: it's it's like you have, like you have to want

414
00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:42,399
Speaker 3: it yourself, and like maybe I'll get there at some point,

415
00:23:43,119 --> 00:23:45,680
Speaker 3: but it's hard to really get there when it makes

416
00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:48,320
Speaker 3: you feel so good and you're not you're not seeing

417
00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:50,240
Speaker 3: immediate health effects.

418
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Speaker 2: Rachel, is there anything else you want to say to

419
00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:54,639
Speaker 2: the people of the computer before you go?

420
00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:55,520
Speaker 1: Hmmm?

421
00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:57,800
Speaker 3: I thought about this one, and I forget what I

422
00:23:57,840 --> 00:24:03,480
Speaker 3: wanted to say, but I guess get me out and

423
00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:05,040
Speaker 3: pussy his life.

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Speaker 2: Have a good night, Rachel.

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00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:07,919
Speaker 3: Bye.

426
00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:10,480
Speaker 1: Yeah.

427
00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:12,719
Speaker 2: I mean I'm a hypocrite because there's no way I'm

428
00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:19,760
Speaker 2: quitting the caffeine. Hell, what is your name, sir?

429
00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:23,560
Speaker 4: Let's go by John?

430
00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:28,199
Speaker 2: So John, what was it you wanted to talk about today? Well?

431
00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:30,119
Speaker 4: Did you see my text?

432
00:24:30,359 --> 00:24:36,040
Speaker 2: I'm assuming yes, it says Hi, my name is John. Yeah,

433
00:24:36,119 --> 00:24:38,280
Speaker 2: and I want to talk about by the way, there's

434
00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:41,280
Speaker 2: everyone in the world's name to that, but whatever, my

435
00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:44,520
Speaker 2: name is John, and I want to talk about my

436
00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:51,840
Speaker 2: OnlyFans donation problem? Yeah, okay, sorry? What?

437
00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:51,560
Speaker 3: What?

438
00:24:52,119 --> 00:24:55,159
Speaker 2: What is? What is the problem? In your own words?

439
00:24:55,640 --> 00:25:00,560
Speaker 4: So, I probably spent close to two thousand dollars in

440
00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:06,520
Speaker 4: the last month or so. M M, only fans, I'd say,

441
00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:07,280
Speaker 4: is a lot of money?

442
00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:13,399
Speaker 2: Is that through like or like with like messaging people?

443
00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:14,440
Speaker 1: Yeah?

444
00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:15,560
Speaker 4: Donations?

445
00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:19,080
Speaker 2: Okay, what why what do you what do you think

446
00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:23,320
Speaker 2: is compelling you to to spend that much money?

447
00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:28,560
Speaker 4: So there's one specific woman who has gotten all of

448
00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:34,200
Speaker 4: that money. Who she made it sound like she wanted

449
00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:35,840
Speaker 4: a legitimate relationship with me.

450
00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:36,920
Speaker 2: Mm hmm.

451
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:41,040
Speaker 4: But the problem is I live in Seattle and she

452
00:25:41,119 --> 00:25:42,000
Speaker 4: lives in Boston.

453
00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:52,920
Speaker 2: Is that the problem?

454
00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:53,400
Speaker 1: Yeah?

455
00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:56,080
Speaker 3: One of them?

456
00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:57,879
Speaker 2: Okay, what are the other ones?

457
00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:06,000
Speaker 4: Is the fact that gave her all the money?

458
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:07,879
Speaker 2: So are do you still talk? Do you? Or do

459
00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:10,560
Speaker 2: you still do you still give her money?

460
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:14,240
Speaker 4: I have stopped giving her money as of last week

461
00:26:15,359 --> 00:26:19,440
Speaker 4: m hm, And I still talk to her on a

462
00:26:19,480 --> 00:26:21,720
Speaker 4: daily basis, that's sure earlier today.

463
00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:27,280
Speaker 2: But so you're still you're still talking with her without

464
00:26:27,359 --> 00:26:29,240
Speaker 2: giving her money.

465
00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:32,159
Speaker 4: Yeah, Which is why I started giving her money in

466
00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:34,840
Speaker 4: the first place, is because she seemed like a real person,

467
00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:37,240
Speaker 4: because she was kind of on and off with the

468
00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:38,160
Speaker 4: money at first.

469
00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:41,479
Speaker 2: Okay, And so now you're talking to her, is she

470
00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:44,080
Speaker 2: you're talking to her? Is she asking you for money?

471
00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:48,919
Speaker 4: It's it'll be normal chats throughout the day, and then

472
00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:50,560
Speaker 4: we'll get to the end of the night and it'll

473
00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:53,440
Speaker 4: be hey to tip this much and we can keep

474
00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:58,560
Speaker 4: going type thing and just it escalated quickly from that.

475
00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:02,479
Speaker 2: Okay, so you you're talking to her throughout the day

476
00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:04,240
Speaker 2: and then at the end she's asking you for for

477
00:27:04,320 --> 00:27:14,359
Speaker 2: it's it? Yeah, what why do you think you keep

478
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:15,960
Speaker 2: talking to this lady.

479
00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:20,720
Speaker 4: As I have nobody else to really talk to you?

480
00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:24,320
Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah? Yeah? How long have you? How long have

481
00:27:24,359 --> 00:27:25,919
Speaker 2: you had no one else to talk to?

482
00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:27,120
Speaker 1: Oh?

483
00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:32,440
Speaker 4: In years? Probably ever since in high school.

484
00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:33,120
Speaker 1: Really, I've just.

485
00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:36,640
Speaker 4: Hang out with my friends and that's all I really

486
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:38,640
Speaker 4: hang out with their, mainly on discord.

487
00:27:40,320 --> 00:27:45,879
Speaker 2: Okay. Yeah, loveliness is a fucking bitch, and it'll cause

488
00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:49,760
Speaker 2: you to do things like spend two thousand dollars messaging

489
00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:54,200
Speaker 2: only fans. Gross. Uh yeah, So so don't don't beat

490
00:27:54,240 --> 00:28:00,000
Speaker 2: yourself up too badly because you're battling quite a power

491
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:08,359
Speaker 2: orful force. My friend and I I don't I don't

492
00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:12,200
Speaker 2: know how the best way to handle lone and is

493
00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:13,680
Speaker 2: I mean you have your friends.

494
00:28:13,359 --> 00:28:20,160
Speaker 4: Right, yeah, dude, I mean talk to them most nights.

495
00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:26,000
Speaker 2: Do you attempt to like or do you download dating apps?

496
00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:28,000
Speaker 2: Do you put yourself out there in any way to

497
00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:29,240
Speaker 2: like meet real women?

498
00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:30,920
Speaker 1: Yeah?

499
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:33,439
Speaker 4: No, I have all of the apps. I've been on

500
00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:34,880
Speaker 4: them for years now.

501
00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:40,520
Speaker 2: Also, okay, and when you go on uh dates, how

502
00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:41,320
Speaker 2: how does that go?

503
00:28:42,960 --> 00:28:43,200
Speaker 3: Well?

504
00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:48,040
Speaker 4: I've only managed to pull off one date, okay, and

505
00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:51,880
Speaker 4: that one date ended up being with a very autistic

506
00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:57,000
Speaker 4: woman okay, And it kind of kind of set me

507
00:28:57,040 --> 00:29:00,360
Speaker 4: off of the whole dating app idea immediately, just from

508
00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:00,800
Speaker 4: that one.

509
00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:03,480
Speaker 2: Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

510
00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:13,120
Speaker 4: Why you didn't tell me at first? Mainly, and so

511
00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:18,640
Speaker 4: the it just was a surprise. I was not expecting it,

512
00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:20,000
Speaker 4: and it was a very.

513
00:29:19,880 --> 00:29:22,760
Speaker 2: Awkward date that she was autistic?

514
00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:26,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was very.

515
00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:28,880
Speaker 2: Why Why was that?

516
00:29:29,720 --> 00:29:29,800
Speaker 3: Like?

517
00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:36,640
Speaker 2: Why is that a problem? I mean, like why did

518
00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:40,959
Speaker 2: why is? Why is her being autistic make you not

519
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:43,320
Speaker 2: want to go on a date with another person?

520
00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:46,320
Speaker 4: It's not that I don't want to go on another date,

521
00:29:46,360 --> 00:29:50,680
Speaker 4: It's that I don't It's I've tried to go on

522
00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:53,640
Speaker 4: another date. I've It's just the one day that I

523
00:29:53,680 --> 00:29:56,280
Speaker 4: did get to go through ended up being very awkward

524
00:29:56,280 --> 00:29:56,480
Speaker 4: for me.

525
00:29:57,320 --> 00:29:57,840
Speaker 2: Okay.

526
00:29:58,120 --> 00:30:00,840
Speaker 4: So I haven't had any other dates come up since then.

527
00:30:01,360 --> 00:30:03,840
Speaker 2: Did that turn you? Did that turn you off of

528
00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:07,200
Speaker 2: the idea of pursuing further dates?

529
00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:09,360
Speaker 4: It turned me off of the idea of using the

530
00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:13,080
Speaker 4: apps mainly, just.

531
00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:15,960
Speaker 2: Just just because you had a one date that was

532
00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:22,320
Speaker 2: kind of awkward. Yeah, okay, what what what? What? What

533
00:30:23,040 --> 00:30:25,840
Speaker 2: ways of trying to meet people in person have you pursued?

534
00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:32,480
Speaker 4: Uh? Not a lot, honestly. I mean I'll go out

535
00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:35,720
Speaker 4: sometimes with friends, but I don't chat much because I'm

536
00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:37,680
Speaker 4: with my friends.

537
00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:47,320
Speaker 2: Yeah. I again, loneliness is a really difficult thing to

538
00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:51,880
Speaker 2: deal with, you know, but you got, but you got

539
00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:55,720
Speaker 2: you gotta put yourself out there. You know that you

540
00:30:56,280 --> 00:31:00,480
Speaker 2: you just gotta, you know, and look, if you're if

541
00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:06,800
Speaker 2: you're sending money to OnlyFans girls simult while you're trying

542
00:31:06,840 --> 00:31:10,040
Speaker 2: to fucking but you gotta be at least. I mean,

543
00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:14,040
Speaker 2: it's it's it's, uh like, trying to date is fucking

544
00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:18,160
Speaker 2: like it sucks. But I mean what else are you

545
00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:20,520
Speaker 2: gonna do? Like, you got to put yourself out there

546
00:31:21,160 --> 00:31:22,880
Speaker 2: if you want to find someone, you know.

547
00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:27,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, I get it.

548
00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:31,880
Speaker 2: And don't and don't and don't don't let one uh

549
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:36,440
Speaker 2: experience of that. What don't let one date that you

550
00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:39,040
Speaker 2: didn't have fun on, you know, prevent you from ever

551
00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:42,560
Speaker 2: fucking going on other dates.

552
00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:49,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's that's a good point. Yeah, It's just I'm

553
00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:55,480
Speaker 4: very hard on myself. I guess.

554
00:31:55,800 --> 00:31:59,720
Speaker 2: Why why?

555
00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:06,600
Speaker 4: I guess I'm just insecure. I don't know, lots of issues.

556
00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:19,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Insecurity is a bitch. Yeah, Loneliness

557
00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:29,440
Speaker 2: is a bitch. I don't know, man, I don't know. Like,

558
00:32:29,560 --> 00:32:30,640
Speaker 2: are your friends helpful?

559
00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:35,680
Speaker 4: One of them is, the other one is not so much.

560
00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:38,000
Speaker 2: Why.

561
00:32:39,280 --> 00:32:41,880
Speaker 4: I work with one of my best friends, which is

562
00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:44,560
Speaker 4: the one who's helpful, so I get to talk to

563
00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:45,840
Speaker 4: him most days.

564
00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:51,640
Speaker 2: You ever talked to a real therapist about this?

565
00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:53,239
Speaker 1: No?

566
00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:53,640
Speaker 3: I have not.

567
00:32:56,760 --> 00:32:58,200
Speaker 2: Do you think it would be beneficial to.

568
00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:02,600
Speaker 4: I feel like it would, But at the same time,

569
00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:06,480
Speaker 4: I'm reluctant to see a therapist just because I also

570
00:33:06,520 --> 00:33:07,680
Speaker 4: have that thought in the back of my head that

571
00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:08,800
Speaker 4: it would just be a waste of time.

572
00:33:14,080 --> 00:33:21,440
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, Look man again, Uh, as somebody who has

573
00:33:21,520 --> 00:33:26,719
Speaker 2: absolutely struggled with uh, loneliness and insecurity, it's a fucking bitch, dude.

574
00:33:27,280 --> 00:33:33,360
Speaker 2: Uh yeah, it's a bitch. And I and and that's

575
00:33:33,440 --> 00:33:35,960
Speaker 2: again the conclusion that I think I've come to and

576
00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:38,200
Speaker 2: I and I think about this a lot. I swear

577
00:33:38,200 --> 00:33:42,400
Speaker 2: on my life, it's that you just got to put

578
00:33:42,440 --> 00:33:45,720
Speaker 2: yourself out there. That's all. That's all I that's all

579
00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:48,640
Speaker 2: you can do. Bro is just ham hammer hammer away.

580
00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:53,880
Speaker 2: Put yourself out there to try to find someone and

581
00:33:53,880 --> 00:33:59,000
Speaker 2: and not be uh let whatever negative experiences you've had,

582
00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:02,600
Speaker 2: for whatever reason prevent you from doing that. And that's

583
00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:05,040
Speaker 2: that's I think the best conclusion that I've come to

584
00:34:05,800 --> 00:34:08,240
Speaker 2: on on dealing with this ship.

585
00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:14,279
Speaker 4: Okay, do you have any suggestions for how I might

586
00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:16,879
Speaker 4: be able to put myself out there? Because I don't

587
00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:19,280
Speaker 4: really have much of a social life outside of playing

588
00:34:19,280 --> 00:34:20,040
Speaker 4: games on Discord.

589
00:34:21,120 --> 00:34:25,080
Speaker 2: Sure ways for you to put yourself out there? I mean,

590
00:34:25,080 --> 00:34:26,879
Speaker 2: you went on you gotta date. You got at least

591
00:34:26,880 --> 00:34:29,960
Speaker 2: one date from the dating apps, which means that you

592
00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:32,799
Speaker 2: can probably find other girls on dating apps that will

593
00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:38,000
Speaker 2: go out with you. Be careful. Dating apps are are

594
00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:47,160
Speaker 2: can be like very depressing and heightened insecurity natural. Yeah,

595
00:34:47,200 --> 00:34:51,640
Speaker 2: I know, I get that. I get that, but I

596
00:34:51,640 --> 00:34:57,799
Speaker 2: would give it another shot. But tread tread lightly because yeah,

597
00:34:58,200 --> 00:35:01,160
Speaker 2: it'll just you'll there's there's many ways that dating apps

598
00:35:01,160 --> 00:35:04,200
Speaker 2: can just make you feel like a piece of ship. Yeah,

599
00:35:04,880 --> 00:35:16,080
Speaker 2: so there's that. Mmm, I guess where.

600
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:16,360
Speaker 3: Where do you?

601
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:17,080
Speaker 2: Where do you live?

602
00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:20,280
Speaker 4: Seattle area?

603
00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:25,239
Speaker 2: Okay? Look up, fucking bullshit going on in Seattle. You

604
00:35:25,480 --> 00:35:28,960
Speaker 2: must have things you like doing. You play video games,

605
00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:33,960
Speaker 2: look up a fucking video game tournament, you get high,

606
00:35:34,040 --> 00:35:38,920
Speaker 2: look up a weed thing. You know, there's things, there's stuff.

607
00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:42,840
Speaker 2: Go outside, there will be things and stuff, things and stuff.

608
00:35:43,320 --> 00:35:46,239
Speaker 2: You gotta give it a shot. I I gotta you

609
00:35:46,239 --> 00:35:49,640
Speaker 2: know what things. You might be being facetious, but things

610
00:35:49,640 --> 00:35:51,400
Speaker 2: and stuff is the answer. No.

611
00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:54,160
Speaker 4: I totally understand then. I mean I've been watching your

612
00:35:54,160 --> 00:35:57,719
Speaker 4: podcast for two years probably now, so I mean I

613
00:35:57,800 --> 00:36:00,480
Speaker 4: try to take everything you say the hard, but it's

614
00:36:00,520 --> 00:36:01,600
Speaker 4: just difficult to apply it.

615
00:36:02,440 --> 00:36:06,760
Speaker 2: Uh. I don't know what else. I fucking that scares

616
00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:08,480
Speaker 2: me that you just said you try to take everything

617
00:36:08,560 --> 00:36:11,919
Speaker 2: I say to heart. That that that makes me uncomfortable.

618
00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:18,239
Speaker 2: But well, John, is there anything else you want to

619
00:36:18,239 --> 00:36:20,000
Speaker 2: say to the people of the computer before we go?

620
00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:25,680
Speaker 4: Just do your best and stay positive.

621
00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:31,680
Speaker 2: I take care John, good luck. Life's fucking crazy, dude.

622
00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:34,240
Speaker 2: Life's a bitch. Life's a bitch, and it's fucking crazy.

623
00:36:34,600 --> 00:36:37,080
Speaker 2: He's got to deal with it being fucking crazy sometimes.

624
00:36:37,080 --> 00:36:37,239
Speaker 3: Man.

625
00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:40,919
Speaker 2: I I that's the absolutely, that's that's that's that's all.

626
00:36:40,960 --> 00:36:44,600
Speaker 2: That's all I can can think. That's all I can think.

627
00:36:44,800 --> 00:36:46,160
Speaker 2: All right, take care of John.

628
00:36:46,640 --> 00:36:47,600
Speaker 1: Thank you, goodbye?

629
00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:51,040
Speaker 2: That's all I got, dude, That's all I got. Man,

630
00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:54,160
Speaker 2: Life's fucking crazy. That's I don't have any other conclusion

631
00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:58,720
Speaker 2: about I've spoken to a billion people, and I've thought

632
00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:02,839
Speaker 2: a trillion thoughts, and the closest conclusion I can come

633
00:37:02,880 --> 00:37:05,319
Speaker 2: to from any and all of that data is that

634
00:37:05,360 --> 00:37:15,440
Speaker 2: life is fucking crazy. Aw from Doug, Hello, Hallock, Doug

635
00:37:15,480 --> 00:37:15,920
Speaker 2: Haw's it going?

636
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:18,960
Speaker 1: Hello? Let's go all right?

637
00:37:20,280 --> 00:37:22,040
Speaker 2: Where are you call him? From the Great Nation of

638
00:37:22,080 --> 00:37:26,600
Speaker 2: England's England's guy? What's going on over there? What are

639
00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:27,840
Speaker 2: you guys doing today?

640
00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:32,719
Speaker 1: Not a lot was working earlier, walking around the lake.

641
00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:35,960
Speaker 2: In a minute, Let's see, it's about seven thirty pm

642
00:37:36,080 --> 00:37:38,200
Speaker 2: here in New York as I'm recording, so it's like

643
00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:40,319
Speaker 2: three o'clock in the fucking morning for you.

644
00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:43,840
Speaker 1: Not quite just go on midnight.

645
00:37:45,400 --> 00:37:49,080
Speaker 2: Oh really, that's actually not that bad of a time difference. Yeah,

646
00:37:49,960 --> 00:37:51,040
Speaker 2: what are you doing up so late?

647
00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:57,640
Speaker 1: Listen to you? Very nice?

648
00:37:58,160 --> 00:37:58,640
Speaker 2: Well, Doug.

649
00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:02,280
Speaker 1: Very different over the phone then on the stream.

650
00:38:02,920 --> 00:38:07,160
Speaker 2: Why do people keep saying that. I don't know why,

651
00:38:07,400 --> 00:38:10,120
Speaker 2: but well it sounds like well, the reason why it

652
00:38:10,120 --> 00:38:12,719
Speaker 2: sounds different over the phone is because it's phone. When

653
00:38:12,760 --> 00:38:15,279
Speaker 2: you when I talk to somebody of the phone. It

654
00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:20,439
Speaker 2: sounds phony, like not not the word phony. I didn't

655
00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:23,680
Speaker 2: even mean this. I literally didn't even mean to make

656
00:38:23,719 --> 00:38:26,440
Speaker 2: a stupid pun. I like it's it sounds like I

657
00:38:26,560 --> 00:38:29,520
Speaker 2: like a you know, like it like your voice sounds

658
00:38:29,520 --> 00:38:32,439
Speaker 2: different recording it through a phone than it would if

659
00:38:32,440 --> 00:38:35,520
Speaker 2: we were just speaking on none of the Who gives

660
00:38:35,520 --> 00:38:37,400
Speaker 2: a ship? Doug? What's up? What do you want to

661
00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:39,280
Speaker 2: talk about today?

662
00:38:39,640 --> 00:38:42,439
Speaker 1: Uh? I don't know. I got a few things because

663
00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:43,440
Speaker 1: you could talk about.

664
00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:47,200
Speaker 2: Uh, pick pick your favorite one and we'll talk about.

665
00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:52,200
Speaker 1: That poor relationship with my with my family. I suppose

666
00:38:52,239 --> 00:38:53,759
Speaker 1: to be a good one.

667
00:38:54,440 --> 00:38:58,880
Speaker 2: Okay, go ahead.

668
00:38:58,880 --> 00:39:03,720
Speaker 1: And so I always saw a class myself as being

669
00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:13,000
Speaker 1: estranged from my parents. I suppose have spoke with my

670
00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:18,480
Speaker 1: twenty nine. Okay, so I haven't spoken with my mum

671
00:39:18,719 --> 00:39:24,160
Speaker 1: in probably two three years, Like since you've had like

672
00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:31,319
Speaker 1: a real conversation mm hmm. Father, not so much bad

673
00:39:31,360 --> 00:39:34,600
Speaker 1: blood there, but just not having never really had that

674
00:39:35,239 --> 00:39:39,200
Speaker 1: great relationship with them.

675
00:39:39,440 --> 00:39:42,640
Speaker 2: Uh you did you? Did you estrange yourself from your

676
00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:44,120
Speaker 2: parents for a particular reason?

677
00:39:45,880 --> 00:39:48,720
Speaker 1: Uh? Yeah, mother definitely?

678
00:39:50,360 --> 00:39:54,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, what's up if you want to talk about it? Uh?

679
00:39:55,800 --> 00:40:00,520
Speaker 1: Her her husband, My like air quote stepfather and classm

680
00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:04,800
Speaker 1: as being a father sort of quite abusive. Over the

681
00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:07,440
Speaker 1: younger years of my life, sort of got older and

682
00:40:07,520 --> 00:40:14,439
Speaker 1: older realized how fucked up was kind of thing, say,

683
00:40:14,480 --> 00:40:18,440
Speaker 1: like when I was about sixteen seventeen, I sort of

684
00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:22,239
Speaker 1: moved out the house, sat of my own will, had

685
00:40:22,280 --> 00:40:26,319
Speaker 1: my mum somewhat guilt tripped me into coming back under

686
00:40:26,360 --> 00:40:29,920
Speaker 1: the guise that she was going to leave them when

687
00:40:30,840 --> 00:40:34,080
Speaker 1: my step siblings got to the age where she wouldn't

688
00:40:34,080 --> 00:40:37,120
Speaker 1: have to deal with I would you call it like

689
00:40:38,239 --> 00:40:44,320
Speaker 1: split custody, But then that obviously never happened, and then

690
00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:48,440
Speaker 1: tried to like gaslight me into it. It was never

691
00:40:48,480 --> 00:40:50,360
Speaker 1: so bad, if that makes sense.

692
00:40:52,160 --> 00:41:01,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, sure, So I guess what when when did you

693
00:41:01,120 --> 00:41:02,800
Speaker 2: kind of when did you kind of draw the line

694
00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:06,000
Speaker 2: and you were like, fuck this, I'm not gonna gonna

695
00:41:06,200 --> 00:41:08,360
Speaker 2: be around with this, this is anymore.

696
00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:12,960
Speaker 1: I I'd probably say sort of around twenty one was

697
00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:15,960
Speaker 1: when I kind of knew to myself and I was

698
00:41:15,960 --> 00:41:18,600
Speaker 1: still living with them at the time, but there was

699
00:41:18,640 --> 00:41:21,719
Speaker 1: just like zero communication. It was just living there. If

700
00:41:21,760 --> 00:41:25,040
Speaker 1: I can't afford to this somewhere else, so at that point,

701
00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:29,280
Speaker 1: or I can't consistently to sort of like live elsewhere.

702
00:41:31,560 --> 00:41:33,920
Speaker 2: So you were you're mainly pissed off at your mom

703
00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:40,080
Speaker 2: because she is still together with your stepdad even though

704
00:41:40,120 --> 00:41:41,279
Speaker 2: your stepdad was being an.

705
00:41:41,160 --> 00:41:45,960
Speaker 1: Asshole kindly, Yeah.

706
00:41:45,480 --> 00:41:46,879
Speaker 2: Okay, is there anything more to it?

707
00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:55,480
Speaker 1: Uh? I wouldn't say so, to be honest, it sounds

708
00:41:55,480 --> 00:41:59,719
Speaker 1: a little stupid sort of saying it or hearing it

709
00:41:59,760 --> 00:42:00,520
Speaker 1: from someone else.

710
00:42:00,680 --> 00:42:04,520
Speaker 2: But why do you think it? Tell me? What? Tell

711
00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:05,840
Speaker 2: me why you think it sounds stupid?

712
00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:13,320
Speaker 1: I always just sounds like I'm being petty, But I wouldn't.

713
00:42:13,920 --> 00:42:16,279
Speaker 1: I don't know. It's like almost sounds petty coming from you.

714
00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:21,440
Speaker 1: In my head, it's I guess, my my trauma, but

715
00:42:21,520 --> 00:42:26,080
Speaker 1: my lived experienced trauma. I guess if that makes any

716
00:42:26,160 --> 00:42:27,840
Speaker 1: kind of sense that it doesn't really to me.

717
00:42:28,239 --> 00:42:33,960
Speaker 2: But so I don't think it's petty. I think that,

718
00:42:35,360 --> 00:42:37,800
Speaker 2: I mean you get to decide, You get to decide.

719
00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:42,680
Speaker 2: I think the answer to that, you know what I mean,

720
00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:47,000
Speaker 2: like you get to decide the whole I think the

721
00:42:47,040 --> 00:42:52,040
Speaker 2: whole idea of like, am I overreacting by with this?

722
00:42:52,760 --> 00:42:58,240
Speaker 2: It's like it's like up to you, like maybe you haven't.

723
00:42:59,040 --> 00:43:02,279
Speaker 2: Maybe there's something where like you haven't realized that it's

724
00:43:02,360 --> 00:43:06,520
Speaker 2: up to you, And like, if you really I'm not

725
00:43:06,520 --> 00:43:08,239
Speaker 2: trying to steer you in a way. I have no

726
00:43:08,320 --> 00:43:10,279
Speaker 2: horse in the race. But if you want to look

727
00:43:10,320 --> 00:43:15,880
Speaker 2: at it and go, Okay, well, I can still probably

728
00:43:16,400 --> 00:43:20,880
Speaker 2: find common ground with my mom and a reason to

729
00:43:21,360 --> 00:43:23,560
Speaker 2: still have my mom and my life despite all of

730
00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:27,680
Speaker 2: these things. And and I'm gonna make that decision. That's

731
00:43:27,719 --> 00:43:30,120
Speaker 2: your decision to make. And if you want to look

732
00:43:30,160 --> 00:43:32,120
Speaker 2: at this and go, you know what, no, she this

733
00:43:32,200 --> 00:43:36,560
Speaker 2: has kind of been an unacceptable thing and a boundary,

734
00:43:36,840 --> 00:43:38,200
Speaker 2: then that's your decision to make.

735
00:43:38,719 --> 00:43:41,279
Speaker 3: But the.

736
00:43:43,760 --> 00:43:46,400
Speaker 2: Like, why does it sound petty when you hear it

737
00:43:46,480 --> 00:43:50,720
Speaker 2: back from someone else? I don't know, Maybe maybe you

738
00:43:50,719 --> 00:43:55,800
Speaker 2: you could like think about it more and and really

739
00:43:56,120 --> 00:43:59,080
Speaker 2: kind of think think about it long. I guess I

740
00:43:59,080 --> 00:44:03,759
Speaker 2: would think about it long enough that when you make

741
00:44:03,800 --> 00:44:06,799
Speaker 2: your decision, you can say to yourself, you know what,

742
00:44:06,880 --> 00:44:09,760
Speaker 2: I've thought about this from all angles. I've really taken

743
00:44:09,880 --> 00:44:12,680
Speaker 2: how I feel into consideration. I've really taken the events

744
00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:16,880
Speaker 2: into consideration, and I've made an informed decision as to

745
00:44:16,920 --> 00:44:19,319
Speaker 2: what I want to do next, you know, with all

746
00:44:19,360 --> 00:44:22,879
Speaker 2: this information, And there's some comfort in that, and I'm

747
00:44:22,880 --> 00:44:25,759
Speaker 2: sure you've done, and also you can continue to reevaluate

748
00:44:25,760 --> 00:44:28,040
Speaker 2: that decision as you go. Does any Does that fucking

749
00:44:28,160 --> 00:44:28,720
Speaker 2: make sense?

750
00:44:29,239 --> 00:44:32,240
Speaker 1: I guess where it's like, I guess it sounds petty

751
00:44:32,719 --> 00:44:35,880
Speaker 1: coming from you because I'm only hearing that half the story,

752
00:44:35,960 --> 00:44:39,760
Speaker 1: or like im in half like a faction of it,

753
00:44:39,840 --> 00:44:45,040
Speaker 1: If that makes sense. I'm not sure sure.

754
00:44:45,480 --> 00:44:48,800
Speaker 2: By the way, I'm not trying to make it sound petty.

755
00:44:49,080 --> 00:44:51,400
Speaker 1: Oh no, I'm not saying you are. That was just

756
00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:53,840
Speaker 1: the first word I can think in my head to

757
00:44:53,840 --> 00:44:56,200
Speaker 1: describe sort of how I felt when hearing it coming

758
00:44:56,200 --> 00:44:58,440
Speaker 1: from you, rather than in my own brain.

759
00:44:59,600 --> 00:45:04,680
Speaker 2: Okay, So, like, do you, like, do you feel confident

760
00:45:04,719 --> 00:45:07,200
Speaker 2: in your decision to not have your mom in your life?

761
00:45:07,920 --> 00:45:12,399
Speaker 1: Yeah, i'd say so, but i'd more or less sort

762
00:45:12,400 --> 00:45:14,520
Speaker 1: of accepted that the next time I would see her

763
00:45:15,320 --> 00:45:19,600
Speaker 1: would either be at my sister's wedding or when my grandpa,

764
00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:21,520
Speaker 1: when one of my grandparents passed away.

765
00:45:22,760 --> 00:45:24,000
Speaker 2: Okay, so like.

766
00:45:25,880 --> 00:45:29,560
Speaker 1: Not so much dead set, but that was sort of

767
00:45:33,440 --> 00:45:36,040
Speaker 1: I'm not sure exactly how to put it, by a

768
00:45:36,160 --> 00:45:38,959
Speaker 1: sort of like mentally preparing myself for that point because

769
00:45:38,960 --> 00:45:43,040
Speaker 1: I know, like that's something I couldn't avoid if that

770
00:45:43,120 --> 00:45:46,279
Speaker 1: makes sense, Like now I don't need to see them,

771
00:45:46,440 --> 00:45:50,280
Speaker 1: I know, avoid them like all costs. See them, see them,

772
00:45:50,480 --> 00:45:53,200
Speaker 1: see them in like the garage. I'll turn around, walk out,

773
00:45:53,239 --> 00:45:55,799
Speaker 1: come back there twenty minutes later kind of thing.

774
00:46:01,840 --> 00:46:04,520
Speaker 2: Hm. Well, I look, man, I think if that's the

775
00:46:04,560 --> 00:46:08,560
Speaker 2: decision that you made and you're coughing on that decision, uh,

776
00:46:08,680 --> 00:46:10,520
Speaker 2: then I don't know. I wouldn't. I wouldn't think that.

777
00:46:10,560 --> 00:46:12,480
Speaker 2: I don't think that that's petty at all. Maybe I

778
00:46:12,480 --> 00:46:15,040
Speaker 2: guess it sounds petty again because you heard me say

779
00:46:15,080 --> 00:46:17,480
Speaker 2: it from a place with no context, and you have

780
00:46:17,719 --> 00:46:20,520
Speaker 2: one hundred percent of the context. But yeah, you made

781
00:46:20,520 --> 00:46:22,640
Speaker 2: you made your decision with one hundred percent of the context.

782
00:46:22,640 --> 00:46:25,759
Speaker 2: So I think I think you're I think you're good.

783
00:46:27,239 --> 00:46:32,440
Speaker 1: Okay, that's somewhat relieving to hear. I think a lot

784
00:46:32,440 --> 00:46:33,960
Speaker 1: of people like to have spoken to him about this.

785
00:46:35,160 --> 00:46:37,880
Speaker 1: Some of them completely get it, where they've known my

786
00:46:37,920 --> 00:46:40,640
Speaker 1: stepdad for like not a long with me, but for

787
00:46:40,680 --> 00:46:44,919
Speaker 1: like ten plus years. No, he's an absolute jackass, right.

788
00:46:45,960 --> 00:46:48,440
Speaker 1: But then there's like the people that don't have much context, like, well,

789
00:46:48,600 --> 00:46:51,359
Speaker 1: it's your mum, man, Like you can't hate your mum.

790
00:46:52,560 --> 00:46:54,239
Speaker 2: Hey, can I ask you for advice while I have

791
00:46:54,280 --> 00:46:57,640
Speaker 2: you on the phone? Sure, there's a complete a right?

792
00:46:57,640 --> 00:46:59,239
Speaker 2: Can we can I change the subject? Or do is

793
00:46:59,239 --> 00:47:01,040
Speaker 2: there still more stuff about this you want to talk about?

794
00:47:02,040 --> 00:47:03,000
Speaker 2: That's a question?

795
00:47:03,600 --> 00:47:05,040
Speaker 1: No, that general question going cheap?

796
00:47:05,680 --> 00:47:06,160
Speaker 2: Okay?

797
00:47:06,760 --> 00:47:06,840
Speaker 3: No?

798
00:47:06,960 --> 00:47:07,360
Speaker 2: You sure?

799
00:47:08,160 --> 00:47:09,120
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, I'm sure.

800
00:47:09,360 --> 00:47:15,040
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, So I'm doing my live show in

801
00:47:15,040 --> 00:47:18,719
Speaker 2: in in the UK and like London in November.

802
00:47:18,719 --> 00:47:21,840
Speaker 1: And oh my god, I didn't know. That's amazing.

803
00:47:22,239 --> 00:47:24,000
Speaker 2: Fuck and damn, I don't know how to talk about

804
00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:25,840
Speaker 2: this without giving like a little bit of a spoiler.

805
00:47:26,719 --> 00:47:30,799
Speaker 2: Uh ship, all right, I'll just say this. Do you

806
00:47:30,840 --> 00:47:32,840
Speaker 2: guys have Reese's cups over there?

807
00:47:34,120 --> 00:47:34,520
Speaker 1: We do?

808
00:47:35,200 --> 00:47:35,960
Speaker 2: All right? Thank god?

809
00:47:36,280 --> 00:47:37,319
Speaker 1: Fucking amazing.

810
00:47:39,880 --> 00:47:42,279
Speaker 2: That's so relieving. Do you guys have a lot of

811
00:47:42,320 --> 00:47:43,280
Speaker 2: like American candy?

812
00:47:45,719 --> 00:47:48,719
Speaker 1: Yes? You have to go to the right place all right.

813
00:47:48,760 --> 00:47:50,400
Speaker 1: Here it's like a big soup market. I probably have

814
00:47:50,520 --> 00:47:52,400
Speaker 1: like an American food section.

815
00:47:53,760 --> 00:47:55,879
Speaker 2: All right, okay, good good, all right, I'm gonna I'm

816
00:47:55,880 --> 00:47:58,440
Speaker 2: not gonna say anything else, but that's that's you know,

817
00:47:58,440 --> 00:48:00,839
Speaker 2: how you know earlier you just said that you're relieved,

818
00:48:01,120 --> 00:48:03,640
Speaker 2: Like I feel relieved by by you saying that as well.

819
00:48:04,360 --> 00:48:06,799
Speaker 1: That's good. I hope it makes your trip to the

820
00:48:06,880 --> 00:48:11,399
Speaker 1: UK more enjoyable knowing you've got those home comforts here

821
00:48:11,440 --> 00:48:12,120
Speaker 1: for you as well.

822
00:48:13,000 --> 00:48:14,960
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah yeah.

823
00:48:15,360 --> 00:48:18,160
Speaker 1: Are the tickets available already for your show in London?

824
00:48:18,800 --> 00:48:23,200
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, I'm doing the Clapham Grand which sounds very Londony.

825
00:48:23,760 --> 00:48:24,399
Speaker 2: Have you been there?

826
00:48:24,480 --> 00:48:25,600
Speaker 1: Yeah? I have not.

827
00:48:26,520 --> 00:48:30,440
Speaker 2: Okay, it sounds like sounds like a place where it

828
00:48:30,480 --> 00:48:35,479
Speaker 2: sounds like a place where they have a fucking British ship.

829
00:48:35,640 --> 00:48:39,200
Speaker 2: I don't I should stop talking, Doug. I've enjoyed. I've

830
00:48:39,280 --> 00:48:41,720
Speaker 2: enjoyed talking you. Is there anything else that you wanted

831
00:48:41,760 --> 00:48:42,839
Speaker 2: to talk about before we go?

832
00:48:46,480 --> 00:48:47,960
Speaker 1: There is something else you could talk about, but it's

833
00:48:47,960 --> 00:48:50,360
Speaker 1: not something I'd necessarily want to end up on a

834
00:48:50,440 --> 00:48:52,520
Speaker 1: real somewhere, if that makes sense.

835
00:48:53,760 --> 00:48:56,400
Speaker 2: Okay. I mean this is a public Whatever you say,

836
00:48:56,480 --> 00:48:59,319
Speaker 2: I am going to put into a podcast that will

837
00:48:59,320 --> 00:49:01,760
Speaker 2: be listened to thousand people.

838
00:49:02,360 --> 00:49:06,560
Speaker 1: Podcast is all cool. It's not as out there, if

839
00:49:06,600 --> 00:49:07,320
Speaker 1: that makes sense.

840
00:49:08,280 --> 00:49:11,439
Speaker 2: Okay. I mean, is it quick if you If it's quick,

841
00:49:11,440 --> 00:49:12,399
Speaker 2: we can do a quick thing.

842
00:49:13,360 --> 00:49:16,359
Speaker 1: Uh quick enough? All right?

843
00:49:17,360 --> 00:49:17,480
Speaker 2: Uh?

844
00:49:17,520 --> 00:49:20,520
Speaker 1: It's like about a year ago, I was a victim

845
00:49:20,560 --> 00:49:30,720
Speaker 1: to a sextortion scam, which was quite a headspin, I must.

846
00:49:30,560 --> 00:49:36,160
Speaker 2: Say, WHOA what happens? Uh?

847
00:49:36,280 --> 00:49:40,759
Speaker 1: So, you know, yeah, matches someone on an app new

848
00:49:40,800 --> 00:49:43,680
Speaker 1: from that app to somewhere else. Things get a little

849
00:49:43,680 --> 00:49:47,439
Speaker 1: bit frisky sent well, at the time, I'm asily thinking

850
00:49:47,440 --> 00:49:51,120
Speaker 1: I'm sending pictures to someone else, to someone else, it's

851
00:49:51,160 --> 00:49:52,640
Speaker 1: not the person that I think I'm sending them to.

852
00:49:53,360 --> 00:49:54,160
Speaker 2: Mm hmmm, and.

853
00:50:01,840 --> 00:50:05,120
Speaker 1: So like at certain point they wanted to do like

854
00:50:05,120 --> 00:50:09,160
Speaker 1: a video call. Wasn't really quite down for that, but

855
00:50:09,200 --> 00:50:10,680
Speaker 1: you know, I didn't want to quite lose the fire.

856
00:50:12,200 --> 00:50:14,839
Speaker 1: About a few seconds into that call, they got hung

857
00:50:14,920 --> 00:50:18,480
Speaker 1: up and then started then sending pictures of I sent

858
00:50:18,560 --> 00:50:21,000
Speaker 1: to them back to me, and then screenshots of them

859
00:50:21,040 --> 00:50:24,960
Speaker 1: going to send them to like people from your Instagram

860
00:50:25,000 --> 00:50:25,719
Speaker 1: micro friends list.

861
00:50:26,520 --> 00:50:29,600
Speaker 2: Ah, what happened? Did she end up sending it or

862
00:50:29,719 --> 00:50:31,920
Speaker 2: I guess it's not a lady, did you? Did they

863
00:50:31,960 --> 00:50:34,840
Speaker 2: end up sending the photos to your friends and stuff?

864
00:50:36,480 --> 00:50:40,000
Speaker 1: Yeah? So they sent it to like six people from

865
00:50:40,080 --> 00:50:42,799
Speaker 1: the list. One of them was a guy I went

866
00:50:42,800 --> 00:50:47,239
Speaker 1: to UNI with and they hoped so at the time,

867
00:50:48,560 --> 00:50:53,360
Speaker 1: in the space of time from a sext in them

868
00:50:53,480 --> 00:50:56,879
Speaker 1: telling me that they're blackmailing me. Then my friend from

869
00:50:57,040 --> 00:50:58,960
Speaker 1: UNI messaging me saying, dude, I've just been sending this.

870
00:50:59,080 --> 00:51:02,360
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Like, I hope you're good. My dick was

871
00:51:02,360 --> 00:51:05,240
Speaker 1: still hard, and like seeing that time it happened that fast.

872
00:51:07,960 --> 00:51:10,919
Speaker 2: Yeah, it happened so fast. Your dick was still hard

873
00:51:10,960 --> 00:51:13,920
Speaker 2: by the time he said. No, that's that's here's the thing.

874
00:51:13,960 --> 00:51:17,120
Speaker 2: Here's the thing that's super fucked up. That's super fucked up.

875
00:51:17,520 --> 00:51:22,879
Speaker 2: The only real thing like that that's super fucked up.

876
00:51:23,040 --> 00:51:26,240
Speaker 2: The only thing you can really do is be like

877
00:51:26,239 --> 00:51:30,439
Speaker 2: like if you really just gotta be like, yep, that's

878
00:51:30,480 --> 00:51:34,120
Speaker 2: my dick, you know what I mean. But you just

879
00:51:34,120 --> 00:51:36,239
Speaker 2: gotta You're like, like if your friend is like, bro

880
00:51:36,360 --> 00:51:39,680
Speaker 2: this like bought account, is sending me pictures of your dick,

881
00:51:39,719 --> 00:51:42,000
Speaker 2: you just gotta be like, Yep, that's my dick and

882
00:51:42,080 --> 00:51:47,280
Speaker 2: balls that's yeah, I am a human man with a penis,

883
00:51:47,640 --> 00:51:49,000
Speaker 2: and yes, that is a picture of it.

884
00:51:50,480 --> 00:51:52,439
Speaker 1: They awkward have my friends time I had a nice cock?

885
00:51:52,480 --> 00:51:53,359
Speaker 1: Though I can't lie.

886
00:51:54,080 --> 00:51:57,560
Speaker 2: Your friend told you had a nice cock. Yeah, all right,

887
00:51:57,719 --> 00:51:59,880
Speaker 2: so and all I guess it all worked out in

888
00:51:59,920 --> 00:52:04,520
Speaker 2: the end. What yeah, did she did she did she

889
00:52:04,560 --> 00:52:07,040
Speaker 2: send it to your mom? I mean, what's that though? Right?

890
00:52:07,160 --> 00:52:10,279
Speaker 2: Like like your mom's senior cock. All right, your mom

891
00:52:10,719 --> 00:52:13,480
Speaker 2: and your mom literally invented your cock, So what who

892
00:52:13,560 --> 00:52:15,560
Speaker 2: gives a ship exactly?

893
00:52:16,880 --> 00:52:19,839
Speaker 1: But I like somewhat convinced them that I was going

894
00:52:19,840 --> 00:52:22,799
Speaker 1: to pay them. At the end of the month, they

895
00:52:22,840 --> 00:52:25,719
Speaker 1: deleted the messages, so like, to my knowledge, the six

896
00:52:25,800 --> 00:52:28,040
Speaker 1: people they sent it to, that guy was the only

897
00:52:28,080 --> 00:52:33,040
Speaker 1: one that like opened the message Of.

898
00:52:32,960 --> 00:52:35,000
Speaker 2: The six people they sent to, was there anyone where

899
00:52:35,040 --> 00:52:36,759
Speaker 2: you were like, I really don't want that person to

900
00:52:36,800 --> 00:52:37,919
Speaker 2: see this picture of my dick?

901
00:52:39,200 --> 00:52:42,960
Speaker 1: Uh? Yes, It was more I didn't want them to

902
00:52:43,760 --> 00:52:46,400
Speaker 1: talk about it to one of their friends, which I

903
00:52:46,480 --> 00:52:49,600
Speaker 1: was like very interested in, not at the time but

904
00:52:49,640 --> 00:52:52,040
Speaker 1: in the past. And it was more that should just

905
00:52:52,040 --> 00:52:53,360
Speaker 1: be like really fucking awkward.

906
00:52:54,800 --> 00:52:57,400
Speaker 2: Uh, you like I had hooked up with this parson.

907
00:52:58,960 --> 00:53:01,640
Speaker 1: I hadn't hooked up, but like talk for quite a

908
00:53:01,719 --> 00:53:04,640
Speaker 1: while and been like on and off, like talking blah

909
00:53:04,640 --> 00:53:08,200
Speaker 1: blah blah, but nothing like it actually happened. Rather not

910
00:53:08,840 --> 00:53:12,360
Speaker 1: that's the instance of seeing my dick being they're like

911
00:53:12,480 --> 00:53:19,280
Speaker 1: gay best friend, Like, hey, check out.

912
00:53:16,880 --> 00:53:20,600
Speaker 2: Now what if what if the extortionists ended up sending

913
00:53:20,640 --> 00:53:23,440
Speaker 2: this person a picture of your dick and then they

914
00:53:23,520 --> 00:53:25,600
Speaker 2: messaged you and they were like, hey, I got a

915
00:53:25,600 --> 00:53:29,359
Speaker 2: picture of your dick from this random account on Instagram.

916
00:53:30,080 --> 00:53:33,520
Speaker 2: I'm sorry that happened to you. But then in parentheses

917
00:53:33,560 --> 00:53:36,080
Speaker 2: they were like, but also it's a nice dick if

918
00:53:36,120 --> 00:53:37,360
Speaker 2: you ever want to hang out.

919
00:53:38,320 --> 00:53:40,840
Speaker 1: I mean, that would have been a nice silver lining.

920
00:53:42,520 --> 00:53:53,840
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, did you ever pay this person? No?

921
00:53:55,239 --> 00:53:57,160
Speaker 1: So now, so I like delete all my social media

922
00:53:57,200 --> 00:53:59,759
Speaker 1: and like any way they could contact me before the

923
00:53:59,840 --> 00:54:01,680
Speaker 1: day I told them I was going to pay. And

924
00:54:01,719 --> 00:54:03,879
Speaker 1: then because they can have no again hold of you,

925
00:54:04,400 --> 00:54:06,560
Speaker 1: they just move on to someone else because we've obviously

926
00:54:06,560 --> 00:54:07,200
Speaker 1: want to make money.

927
00:54:07,880 --> 00:54:08,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, that makes sense.

928
00:54:08,800 --> 00:54:11,600
Speaker 1: And then to my knowledge, it didn't get sent to

929
00:54:11,600 --> 00:54:14,759
Speaker 1: anyone else, but like spoke to people that I thought

930
00:54:14,760 --> 00:54:16,680
Speaker 1: it could get sent to from the list they had.

931
00:54:17,200 --> 00:54:18,920
Speaker 1: I was like, hey, you might get said a picture

932
00:54:18,920 --> 00:54:21,319
Speaker 1: of my dick A bit awkward. Could you let me

933
00:54:21,360 --> 00:54:25,000
Speaker 1: know so I know it's happening. And so it didn't happen,

934
00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:31,799
Speaker 1: but I guess me somewhat self exposing it did make

935
00:54:31,840 --> 00:54:33,040
Speaker 1: it happen almost.

936
00:54:34,280 --> 00:54:36,040
Speaker 2: Well hold on, well, hold on, when you say self exposed,

937
00:54:36,080 --> 00:54:38,239
Speaker 2: you did you you didn't go to your friends and

938
00:54:38,239 --> 00:54:40,360
Speaker 2: you were like, hey, you might get sent a picture

939
00:54:40,360 --> 00:54:43,080
Speaker 2: of my dick, and just in case if you do,

940
00:54:43,239 --> 00:54:44,960
Speaker 2: here's what that picture might look like.

941
00:54:46,800 --> 00:54:47,640
Speaker 4: Uh.

942
00:54:47,840 --> 00:54:49,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, I did a little bit for some people.

943
00:54:51,480 --> 00:54:53,800
Speaker 2: I was, I was just joking. Did you really do that?

944
00:54:55,760 --> 00:54:59,200
Speaker 1: Yeah? Obviously obviously like self censors. You know, like some.

945
00:55:01,239 --> 00:55:04,720
Speaker 2: You said you preemptively sent a bunch of your friends

946
00:55:04,760 --> 00:55:06,439
Speaker 2: a picture of your blurry dick.

947
00:55:07,160 --> 00:55:10,320
Speaker 1: No no, no, not sent like showed him in personal.

948
00:55:10,320 --> 00:55:12,359
Speaker 1: I don't know if if that makes it any better

949
00:55:12,400 --> 00:55:13,319
Speaker 1: really worse.

950
00:55:15,400 --> 00:55:19,080
Speaker 2: I guess, sir, Yeah, I guess that's a strategy. I respect.

951
00:55:19,120 --> 00:55:23,720
Speaker 2: I respect that. I respect that. I respect that. Doug

952
00:55:24,320 --> 00:55:27,480
Speaker 2: is good talking to you, sir. Thanks for sharing your stories,

953
00:55:27,480 --> 00:55:32,200
Speaker 2: Thanks for sharing your accent, Thanks for letting us know

954
00:55:32,280 --> 00:55:34,640
Speaker 2: what's going on across the pond. Is there anything else

955
00:55:34,680 --> 00:55:36,120
Speaker 2: you want to say to the people of the computer

956
00:55:36,200 --> 00:55:36,759
Speaker 2: before we go.

957
00:55:39,440 --> 00:55:41,959
Speaker 1: I've heard a lot of people, like callers in say

958
00:55:41,960 --> 00:55:45,120
Speaker 1: that they're going to study cybersecurity. I don't know if

959
00:55:45,160 --> 00:55:46,719
Speaker 1: you'd like noticed that trend as well.

960
00:55:46,880 --> 00:55:47,520
Speaker 2: Not at all.

961
00:55:51,440 --> 00:55:53,920
Speaker 1: It podcasts all the time at work, and like all

962
00:55:53,960 --> 00:55:56,719
Speaker 1: the time I hear like cybersecurity, Like if we have

963
00:55:56,760 --> 00:55:58,480
Speaker 1: a couple of you have a couple of shows listen

964
00:55:58,520 --> 00:56:02,160
Speaker 1: out for it. But it's like a recommendation to those

965
00:56:02,360 --> 00:56:05,719
Speaker 1: those people try to get internship's like while you're at UNI.

966
00:56:05,960 --> 00:56:09,080
Speaker 1: It's really tough job market when you're a graduate.

967
00:56:10,520 --> 00:56:15,640
Speaker 2: All right, all right, take care, sir. You see I

968
00:56:15,719 --> 00:56:17,480
Speaker 2: was talking to See I do kind of like that.

969
00:56:17,600 --> 00:56:22,040
Speaker 2: This guy's origin story is that, you know, this whole

970
00:56:22,040 --> 00:56:25,400
Speaker 2: thing happened with him with the dig pic thing, and

971
00:56:25,440 --> 00:56:29,480
Speaker 2: so he decides to dedicate his life to cybersecurity and

972
00:56:29,680 --> 00:56:32,839
Speaker 2: goes on the line taking your phone calls every night,

973
00:56:33,239 --> 00:56:34,600
Speaker 2: every beacon, goes.

974
00:56:34,360 --> 00:56:38,000
Speaker 3: To just teaching you loud in the mid of your life.

975
00:56:37,760 --> 00:56:39,880
Speaker 2: And he's not really an expert.