1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,880 Speaker 1: How do you know if you have a needy partner? 2 00:00:03,200 --> 00:00:04,120 Speaker 1: It's a jew will show. 3 00:00:04,320 --> 00:00:07,200 Speaker 2: I mean sometimes it's very obvious, right, and sometimes you 4 00:00:07,280 --> 00:00:09,520 Speaker 2: might wonder if it's just you who thinks they're needy, 5 00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:11,840 Speaker 2: because every time they're like, hey, I like you, you're like, 6 00:00:12,160 --> 00:00:18,480 Speaker 2: get off gross Victoria. Well, there's one psychologist whose study 7 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:21,759 Speaker 2: is going viral about signs that your partner is needy. 8 00:00:21,840 --> 00:00:24,360 Speaker 2: So here are the top signs that they say you 9 00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:27,400 Speaker 2: can tell if your partner is needy. 10 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:29,400 Speaker 1: Okay, they act jealous or possessive. 11 00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:32,319 Speaker 2: They say, it's okay to feel jealous from time to time, 12 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:35,760 Speaker 2: Yet consistent jealousy and possessiveness are surefire waste to damage 13 00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:39,600 Speaker 2: trust in a relationship. This could range from discouraging friendships 14 00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:42,599 Speaker 2: to monitoring your texts or repeatedly accusing you of flirting 15 00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:45,360 Speaker 2: and innocent scenarios. I would go on to say, that's 16 00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:46,440 Speaker 2: also kind of abusive. 17 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:48,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I don't know that I would call that 18 00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:52,839 Speaker 3: needy so much, don't think. Yeah, jealousy and needy are 19 00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:54,320 Speaker 3: too like different emotions. 20 00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:58,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, ironically, your partner might suffer from jealousy due to 21 00:00:58,920 --> 00:01:00,840 Speaker 2: the fear that you'll break their true but in reality, 22 00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:03,960 Speaker 2: the lack of trust they have in you is what ultimately. 23 00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:04,560 Speaker 1: Drives you away. 24 00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:08,959 Speaker 2: Trapped because you're being surveiled all the time. Trust me, 25 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:11,480 Speaker 2: I've been there, But why do you Why do you 26 00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:12,520 Speaker 2: stay in those moments? 27 00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:14,360 Speaker 1: Why do I? 28 00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:16,679 Speaker 3: Yeah, well, any I mean for you, I mean anybody 29 00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:18,560 Speaker 3: might relate to that. But if you know you're being 30 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:19,840 Speaker 3: surveiled like that, why. 31 00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:20,160 Speaker 1: Do you stay? 32 00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:23,039 Speaker 2: Because well, it used to be because that's what I 33 00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:26,120 Speaker 2: knew from relationships for me as a child, and then 34 00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:27,960 Speaker 2: grew up and I was an enabler, so I made 35 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:30,479 Speaker 2: it okay instead of being like, hey, not. 36 00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:35,960 Speaker 1: Cool, Yeah, I actually think it's a love. Yeah, exactly, 37 00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:40,080 Speaker 1: that makes sense. Actually, yeah, you are the love. 38 00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:42,280 Speaker 2: You taps into the fear from your childhood and then 39 00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:44,720 Speaker 2: you just stay because you're scared and you don't even 40 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:48,800 Speaker 2: know it. But anyway, I've since learned my lessons since 41 00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:53,040 Speaker 2: that time, so yeah, that's fun. Now i'd be like, hey, man, 42 00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:59,440 Speaker 2: get here, not cool. Here is another sign. They say 43 00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:01,200 Speaker 2: that you can tell if your partner's needy. They watch 44 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:04,560 Speaker 2: your every move. Also kind of creepy in that one, 45 00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:07,520 Speaker 2: but they say, similar to blowing up your phone, needy 46 00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:09,639 Speaker 2: partner might also watch your every move. 47 00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:11,480 Speaker 1: It could range from going through. 48 00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:15,079 Speaker 2: Your email, just stalking your social media activity, and even 49 00:02:15,160 --> 00:02:18,200 Speaker 2: checking your location constantly. Again, if you haven't betrayed them 50 00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:21,160 Speaker 2: or broken their trust, the behavior is just isn't warranted 51 00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:21,800 Speaker 2: or healthy. 52 00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:25,240 Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know if it's a needy list. Just function. 53 00:02:27,760 --> 00:02:30,560 Speaker 3: Usually means that you want their attention, right, not that 54 00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:33,880 Speaker 3: you're trying to completely under like, uncover everything they're doing, 55 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:34,880 Speaker 3: control everything. 56 00:02:34,919 --> 00:02:35,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. 57 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:39,160 Speaker 2: Here's another one. They lean on you for everything. It 58 00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:41,200 Speaker 2: says life is hard enough, so when you're dating someone 59 00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:44,639 Speaker 2: who constantly relies on you for practically everything, it can 60 00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:48,120 Speaker 2: feel draining. From emotional support to decision making, planning, and 61 00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:51,799 Speaker 2: even chore completion. A needy partner's lofty expectations can make 62 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:54,079 Speaker 2: them seem more like a child than a significant other. 63 00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:55,480 Speaker 3: Okay, now this is needy. 64 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:58,959 Speaker 2: Yeah, that is a good example of what would be 65 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:00,480 Speaker 2: qualified as needy. 66 00:03:00,919 --> 00:03:03,399 Speaker 3: I will say, this conversation is making me feel very 67 00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:06,760 Speaker 3: less needy than I thought I was. 68 00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:08,440 Speaker 1: So guess what not needy? 69 00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:09,600 Speaker 4: Healthy? 70 00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:10,160 Speaker 3: Over here? 71 00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:14,160 Speaker 2: That's going viral about how you can tell if your 72 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:18,400 Speaker 2: partner is needy. They disregard your boundaries. Says you should 73 00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:21,000 Speaker 2: be allowed and even encouraged to have boundaries in your relationship. 74 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:24,800 Speaker 2: Yet needy partners often have trouble respecting them. Perhaps you 75 00:03:24,919 --> 00:03:27,680 Speaker 2: value personal space, but they keep barging in and intruding 76 00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:30,640 Speaker 2: your alone time, or they may try to interfere in 77 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:33,639 Speaker 2: your outside relationships and isolate you from other people in 78 00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:36,600 Speaker 2: your life. Again the isolation part, Yeah, that moves into 79 00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:40,160 Speaker 2: the abusive territory. This says, regardless of I was done, 80 00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:42,240 Speaker 2: boundary crossing is a major red flag. 81 00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:45,280 Speaker 4: I've experienced a lot of this too, and I think 82 00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:48,200 Speaker 4: part of it might be just being young, and you know, 83 00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:50,640 Speaker 4: you haven't dealt with your own issues, so you're not 84 00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:53,640 Speaker 4: aware of what you're feeding into, and so you find 85 00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:57,520 Speaker 4: yourself in these situations where you're feeling guilty about wanting boundaries. 86 00:03:57,680 --> 00:03:57,880 Speaker 1: Yeah. 87 00:03:57,960 --> 00:04:00,320 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like now as you get older, you're like, oh, no, 88 00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:03,400 Speaker 4: it's okay to not have somebody reading every text that 89 00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:05,200 Speaker 4: you sent for the day, find out what you were 90 00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:06,279 Speaker 4: saying to your cowork. 91 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:07,840 Speaker 2: You feel bad because you want them to be happy, 92 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:10,360 Speaker 2: so you allow them to intrude on your boundary. When 93 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:12,000 Speaker 2: you have to learn to be okay with having a 94 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:14,600 Speaker 2: boundary and then being perfectly okay, if someone is upset 95 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:15,520 Speaker 2: about that body. 96 00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:19,480 Speaker 4: And creating trust where you can have that boundary and 97 00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:20,520 Speaker 4: still trust each other. 98 00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:22,520 Speaker 1: I don't know if you're ever going to be okay. 99 00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:25,440 Speaker 3: If you're somebody is upset about the boundary, you got 100 00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:27,000 Speaker 3: to have a conversation about the boundary. 101 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,400 Speaker 1: But I'm not going to sleep. If you're mad at 102 00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:30,440 Speaker 1: me for having a boundary, we're having a conversation. 103 00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:36,359 Speaker 2: They need constant validation. That's another way to tell if 104 00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:37,599 Speaker 2: someone's needy. 105 00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:38,960 Speaker 1: On this list that are needed. 106 00:04:38,839 --> 00:04:40,920 Speaker 2: Someone struggles with anxiety or not. We can all use 107 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:43,160 Speaker 2: a bit of research from time to time, but it's 108 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:46,760 Speaker 2: not fair to burden your significant other with constant demands 109 00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:48,400 Speaker 2: on your for validation. 110 00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:52,640 Speaker 3: Yeah that sounds but if you're like this is cute, right, 111 00:04:53,279 --> 00:04:54,479 Speaker 3: or you still love me? 112 00:04:54,640 --> 00:05:04,640 Speaker 4: Right? If I was a butterfly, you would I'm still. 113 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:13,480 Speaker 2: Now. And the number one thing they say you can 114 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,159 Speaker 2: tell if you have a needy partner is they blow 115 00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:19,640 Speaker 2: up your phone constantly. Even though communication forms the backbone 116 00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:22,760 Speaker 2: of stable relationships, it's totally possible to go overboard too. 117 00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:25,480 Speaker 2: If you're at work with families, spending time with friends, 118 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:27,560 Speaker 2: and your partner just starts bombarding you with text or 119 00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:30,800 Speaker 2: calls to sign that they're needy. Plus if you don't 120 00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:34,160 Speaker 2: get back to them right away, they become upset or angry. 121 00:05:34,279 --> 00:05:36,840 Speaker 4: Yeah, but if you're the person who is blowing up 122 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:40,839 Speaker 4: my phone, what do you think that's making me feel like? 123 00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:43,440 Speaker 1: Other than please stop blowing up my phone? 124 00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:43,800 Speaker 3: Right? 125 00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:46,320 Speaker 1: Do you also not get the vibe I'm not vibuing 126 00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:48,160 Speaker 1: with that? Do you realize you're being annoying? 127 00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:49,120 Speaker 4: Self awareness? 128 00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:52,880 Speaker 3: Usually you know, because anxiety takes over your body at 129 00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:53,360 Speaker 3: that moment. 130 00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:56,159 Speaker 2: But yeah, usually those type of people that will do 131 00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:57,400 Speaker 2: that are the type of people that if you blow 132 00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:00,240 Speaker 2: up their phone, they'd be mad at you. K