Speaker 1: Yay, I'm back. I feel like I've been doing a
Speaker 1: lot of Tripolitely.
Speaker 2: Tell me about it.
Speaker 1: So well, first, hey ba listeners, how you are, how
Speaker 1: you been? If you're new, welcome, full up a seat. Well,
Speaker 1: I don't know, you know, I just got back to
Speaker 1: Australia and then I went to Arizona for a special
Speaker 1: gathering of West Africans West African Vultron.
Speaker 2: To be fully correct, I thought I felt an electric
Speaker 2: current go through the universe this weekend and I was like,
Speaker 2: what's happening? And then I saw your Instagram and I
Speaker 2: was like, oh, it's the future power of Nigerian Americans
Speaker 2: in the Grand Canyon and wherever the hell you guys were.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we were in Sedona and Phoenix. So it was Nigerians,
Speaker 1: well Nigerians Ganans. I think it's someone who's Cameroonian. So
Speaker 1: just being a group of dope with that, you said,
Speaker 1: who was Cameronian?
Speaker 2: Now I said, ooh, I've never met anyone from Cameroon. Cameroon.
Speaker 2: I had to think backwards, like.
Speaker 1: What a Cameroonian be called? Yeah, So honestly the group
Speaker 1: started because I believe so a friend of mine, Lovey
Speaker 1: from awesomely lovey. Many of you probably know her to
Speaker 1: the New York Times best seller blogger and just all
Speaker 1: around badass.
Speaker 2: Did she get her sticker?
Speaker 1: She did, you know, yeah, and I'm so glad she
Speaker 1: made that fuss because she got the sticker and the
Speaker 1: new her book I'm Judging You, which is a New
Speaker 1: York Times bestseller. Again she it's in hard dack now,
Speaker 1: so it's available like wherever books are sold. Oh are
Speaker 1: you kidding? Men?
Speaker 2: She did the reverse, so she started out paperback and
Speaker 2: then went hardcover. Yeh, tristan cool.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure why, like how that works, but yeah.
Speaker 1: So she we apparently went to our guess met a
Speaker 1: whole bunch of dope folks at like some event a
Speaker 1: couple years back, and they stayed connected because there were
Speaker 1: the few brown people that were there and they all
Speaker 1: happened to be West African and some exclusive like you know,
Speaker 1: like conference or something like invite only conference, and she
Speaker 1: was like, you know, we should all connect, and then
Speaker 1: they did and they started kind of inviting their friends
Speaker 1: in so Lovely actually invited me, and then the other
Speaker 1: folks who she was at that conference with started inviting
Speaker 1: their friends, and before you knew it, know it. We
Speaker 1: started kind of like a chat like WhatsApp, and before
Speaker 1: it was just kind of like, you know, just group chat.
Speaker 1: But now it's really starting to evolve. And so I'm
Speaker 1: excited because but I didn't really know what half the
Speaker 1: people did. I just knew that they seemed fun and dope,
Speaker 1: and you know, I think I had done an initial
Speaker 1: Google search, you know, on some of them, like oh,
Speaker 1: well who's that, Oh who's that? Oh wow? And then
Speaker 1: after a while I was like I just stopped. I'm like, ah,
Speaker 1: they just started cool in the group been So, you know,
Speaker 1: we a few months back, someone was like, we should
Speaker 1: really I think, you know, there was we all met
Speaker 1: up at essence Fest, or like a large chunk of
Speaker 1: us were either speaking or participating in somewhere at essence Fest,
Speaker 1: and so we all had like lunch and we all
Speaker 1: went to like concert and backstage and we just had
Speaker 1: a really good time together. And we started thinking like
Speaker 1: we should really make this a deeper connection. And so
Speaker 1: three of the young women from the group, Opal Funa
Speaker 1: and Justina, they they put together this Wave Summit and
Speaker 1: it was dope. The house was amazing, I mean, like
Speaker 1: MTV cribs amazing. Even people who were like in the
Speaker 1: group who's who run in circles with fancy folks, were like, whoa,
Speaker 1: this house was amazing. It was so amazing. I didn't
Speaker 1: even feel comfortable. I was like, what is this? This
Speaker 1: is like a set, you know. And so it was
Speaker 1: beautiful and it was set right in the mountains, so
Speaker 1: you could see all the red mountains and and we
Speaker 1: spent a lot of time just like talking to getting
Speaker 1: getting to know one another and figuring out how we
Speaker 1: can help each other, and just like hanging out and connecting. Honestly,
Speaker 1: it was really dope's It's crazy to be among high
Speaker 1: achievers and to see what that looks like mixed with
Speaker 1: different personalities, you know, because everyone here is like a
Speaker 1: super high achiever. Honestly, I kept thinking to myself, why
Speaker 1: am I here? I feel like a freshman for all
Speaker 1: these seniors, you know. And that was nice too. It
Speaker 1: was nice to kind of just sit back in awe
Speaker 1: and just be like, what, She's the one who made
Speaker 1: what her business is doing, what this one is doing? What?
Speaker 1: You know? So I just kept being like.
Speaker 2: What so y'all like, oh, sorry, y'all, Like so basically
Speaker 2: it's like a group trip you rent to like an
Speaker 2: Airbnb or like a house.
Speaker 1: Yeah it was an Airbnb, but it was a super face. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so just to like get to know each other and
Speaker 1: figure out what do we want to do with this,
Speaker 1: like you know, this tremendous power we have you know, No,
Speaker 1: I'm just but yeah, so it was Honestly, it was
Speaker 1: really awesome. But yeah, I learned some really great lessons
Speaker 1: just about balance and harmony and that I used to
Speaker 1: always think, like, well, once I get to a certain level,
Speaker 1: certain I won't have certain issues anymore, like certain like
Speaker 1: I'll figure out balance and I'll figure out how to
Speaker 1: make everything work and I won't still be worried about
Speaker 1: messing up. And yeah, that's not true. It's like, oh,
Speaker 1: like so just to see what it looked like from
Speaker 1: I don't want to say at the top, because everybody's
Speaker 1: still striving, but to kind of see what it looked
Speaker 1: like from like to me extreme achievement and to see
Speaker 1: like to learn that I have to learn how to
Speaker 1: manage the emotion of expectation and not getting everything I
Speaker 1: want or whatever now because just because I achieved more,
Speaker 1: that those feelings don't go away. So to see it
Speaker 1: in folks like that, like, no, you just better figure
Speaker 1: out how to manage it now, because that the more
Speaker 1: you achieve, the more you want to achieve, and the
Speaker 1: more you're going to mess up, and the more you're
Speaker 1: going to be unsure. Certain things that net never really
Speaker 1: goes away. It's just human. So it was really nice
Speaker 1: to see that. I was, like I was telling Drina.
Speaker 1: She didn't come with me, but I was just telling
Speaker 1: when I got home, like we need some more like
Speaker 1: real life, in person friends. Not to say the waves
Speaker 1: are not my friends, but you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: like the folks that you connect to regularly, like you
Speaker 1: know that aside from us who are growing a business,
Speaker 1: because it's a weird space because you don't know sometimes
Speaker 1: how you're doing, you know what I mean. Like when
Speaker 1: I had a job, you know, and I was a teacher,
Speaker 1: it was clear there were these clear markers of like, Okay,
Speaker 1: the kids can read, and I'm here on time, and
Speaker 1: my left the plants are done. But when you work
Speaker 1: for yourself, sometimes I'm like out here floating and I
Speaker 1: don't know how I'm doing. Honestly, I'm like, am I
Speaker 1: doing good? I don't know? I mean because money is
Speaker 1: not is not a good enough like measuring stick, because
Speaker 1: sometimes you will randomly make money and you're like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I didn't that was a mistake, but okay, you know,
Speaker 1: and so and sometimes too, you know, you will be
Speaker 1: busting your behind and it won't work. So it's like
Speaker 1: it's the feedback for you know, when you're an actual
Speaker 1: or sometimes it's difficult to gauge where am I and
Speaker 1: how am I doing? And because you can get so
Speaker 1: much in the weeds that you feel like, am I
Speaker 1: doing well? You know, because I don't know what it
Speaker 1: looks like from the outside, and even still just because
Speaker 1: it looks good from the outside doesn't mean it's really
Speaker 1: good on the inside. So it was just nice to
Speaker 1: kind of like look at like, you know, it's almost
Speaker 1: like it was like looking in like in ad mirror,
Speaker 1: even if it was an advanced mirror of like, oh okay,
Speaker 1: so you know, I can kind of see what it
Speaker 1: looks like and kind of like what my my markers
Speaker 1: and my goals are, you know. Yeah, so that was
Speaker 1: cool about it. So when you do this weekend, I
Speaker 1: saw you in that pool.
Speaker 2: Oh I had some self care took care of maybe
Speaker 2: this weekend that place was amazing. Yeah, my friends are
Speaker 2: so nice and there's just massive, like just I don't
Speaker 2: know this huge spa type facility that I passed. I
Speaker 2: just drove by it one day in Jersey and Edgewater
Speaker 2: if you're familiar with that area, and I was like,
Speaker 2: I want to see what's in there. And I mentioned
Speaker 2: it in passing one of my girlfriends. And then from
Speaker 2: my birthday, a bunch of my my little group of
Speaker 2: friends got together and got me a gift card and
Speaker 2: it just kind of like sat forever, and finally this weekend,
Speaker 2: I was like, I'm going and it was magical, Like
Speaker 2: I mean when you talk about spending money on an
Speaker 2: experience where you feel like that was worth all the pennies.
Speaker 2: It was only seventy five. It was seventy five dollars,
Speaker 2: but you get access to just endless rooms of different
Speaker 2: like saunas and hot tubs and cold pools and warm
Speaker 2: pools and pools outside and pools inside and comfy chairs
Speaker 2: you can just recline in and look at the view
Speaker 2: and I mean, like, what is the name.
Speaker 1: Of the spot? And how far work in Jersey City.
Speaker 2: It's only it's like a thirty minute twenty thirty minute
Speaker 2: drive from Jersey City. Yeah, you have you have to go.
Speaker 2: You have to go. Take a friend. I just want whether,
Speaker 2: I just want a good My best my best girlfriend
Speaker 2: who she like runs, she loves the spa, and she
Speaker 2: took me one time to like one of those janky
Speaker 2: bath houses in the city in Manhattan, and I was like,
Speaker 2: I don't know if I'm ever coming back here, like
Speaker 2: cause it's like in the basement and it's you know,
Speaker 2: it's New York, so you can't fit a big spa,
Speaker 2: so they're like they're leaking and you don't know where
Speaker 2: all the web the water is coming from. And you're
Speaker 2: like there's Randos, you know, sitting in the spa next
Speaker 2: to you, and the sauna next to you. And I
Speaker 2: wasn't sure if I was ever going to go back.
Speaker 2: But this place was like spectacular, so clean. The women
Speaker 2: and men are separate for the in the like the
Speaker 2: pools and saunas area, and then there's like a communal
Speaker 2: area and then there's there's like four different levels and
Speaker 2: they have restaurant, they have a smoothie bar.
Speaker 1: And I think this place, like it.
Speaker 2: Sounds like something Correll will do, will do.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's very fancy.
Speaker 2: You can, so like you get like the day pass
Speaker 2: what we did. Day pass just gets you access to
Speaker 2: all the spas a Sonnets whatever. But if you want
Speaker 2: like special treatments, that's extra, like massages and things like that.
Speaker 2: But those looked amazing. But it was just such a
Speaker 2: nice day and I had a I had like a
Speaker 2: really busy weekend and I don't know, I just it
Speaker 2: was it was awesome. Would four stars will go back?
Speaker 2: So Joe spot Club, if you're listening, you know, give
Speaker 2: me a discount next time. Yeah, it was awesome. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it was really nice weekend. And uh, I don't know
Speaker 2: about I don't know about you, but before the holidays,
Speaker 2: I feel like work gets more and more intense because
Speaker 2: I feel like I was working this weekend because I
Speaker 2: wanted to get ahead of the short week and I'm
Speaker 2: just like I feel like I am skidding across the
Speaker 2: finish line. Just I'm just I feel like I'm not
Speaker 2: going to relax until I get on the flight to
Speaker 2: Atlanta tomorrow night. I'm just gonna like power through these
Speaker 2: next two days. But I am ready because I cannot
Speaker 2: wait for my dad's cornbread stuffing. I haven't I can't wait.
Speaker 2: This is my first time back in Atlanta for Thanksgiving
Speaker 2: in like nine years. I think. I don't think I've
Speaker 2: been back since college. Yeah, it's been a long time.
Speaker 1: Like in general Atlanta or you mean just for the holidays.
Speaker 2: Boy, for the specific Thanksgiving holiday, yeah, which is my
Speaker 2: favorite food holiday. I'm like, I've gone back the week
Speaker 2: before and like two weeks later, but I haven't been
Speaker 2: back on the actual holiday since college.
Speaker 1: So my mom just texting yesterday was like, so, yeah, Thanksgiving,
Speaker 1: I'm not cooking.
Speaker 2: I was like, wait, what it's canceled?
Speaker 1: I was like wait what? She was like, meanwhile, who
Speaker 1: taught her how to group text talking about I'm tired?
Speaker 1: And I was like, Mommy, like, that's something you tell
Speaker 1: people like the week before, so we can like we
Speaker 1: can like pull it out. She was like, oh, I'll
Speaker 1: figure it out. So and I still expect everybody to
Speaker 1: be at the house with food in hand. So I
Speaker 1: was like, wait, I don't have the time to figure out.
Speaker 1: So I call my favorite so food spot. I'm like, so,
Speaker 1: how much does a full Thanksgiving dinner car? And they
Speaker 1: were like one hundred and five bucks. I'm like, what
Speaker 1: does that come with? They're like a full turkey and
Speaker 1: five sides, and I think like a dessert. I was like,
Speaker 1: really four hundred and five bucks. So I told my sisters,
Speaker 1: everybody have twenty five bucks and they said yes. I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: Thanksgiving is back on.
Speaker 2: Wait what do you gonna eat, miss vegan?
Speaker 1: I know on sides honestly, likely just some side. And
Speaker 1: my mom, even though she said she's not cooking, she's
Speaker 1: going to cook. Like my mom cannot help but cook.
Speaker 1: She just means she doesn't want to do the huge overhaul.
Speaker 1: She'll probably make like like cause Nigeria's we tend to
Speaker 1: have a lot of vegetable dishes, so like she'll probably
Speaker 1: make like two or three of those or whatever. She
Speaker 1: just doesn't want to do, like the root or to
Speaker 1: the tutor, you know.
Speaker 2: I hear that, and I feel like Thanksgiving should be
Speaker 2: a pot look like everyone's sort of break, like, yeah,
Speaker 2: the host does the turkey and the main sides like
Speaker 2: a pumpkin pie and the stuffing and stuff, but then
Speaker 2: everyone else brings stuff. That's what makes it so much fun,
Speaker 2: at least like in my fam.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, everyone, I told everyone, you know, bring your
Speaker 1: twenty five bucks and then bring whatever side or dessert
Speaker 1: you're going to bring, so we should. We always have
Speaker 1: way more than we need, but at least, like I
Speaker 1: know that the main step is done, you know.
Speaker 2: So I'm like, Okay, my dad speaking of more than
Speaker 2: you need. Every year, at least when I was growing up.
Speaker 2: He probably still does this, but every year after Thanksgiving
Speaker 2: he takes he like wraps up plates of leftover food
Speaker 2: and he'll just go under the highway overpasses, I mean
Speaker 2: male privilege, right, and just drop off bags to homeless people.
Speaker 2: He used to take me with him, and I'd be like, oh, Dad, no,
Speaker 2: I don't know, but you know, you grow up, you
Speaker 2: start to respect your parents' quirky habits.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, that's awesome.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, I'm really excited. And then and it started.
Speaker 2: I'm starting to feel like Chrimas time, I'm already having
Speaker 2: the argument with my siblings, like are we gonna do gifts? No,
Speaker 2: we're not going to do gifts. Someone wants to do gifts.
Speaker 2: Somebody wants to do white Elephant, Like we're going through
Speaker 2: that whole situation right now, but any day now Christmas time, Yeah, I.
Speaker 1: Think we're gonna do I sign up for the one
Speaker 1: that you suggested last year, draw names or something.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's a bunch of those like name drawing sites.
Speaker 1: I love it until you've shared that site. So for
Speaker 1: those of you who were like, what's that? So Mandy
Speaker 1: told me about the site last year, I think it was.
Speaker 1: I think it was originally called Secret Santa or something,
Speaker 1: but it ends up really being the site called draw
Speaker 1: names dot com. Totally free. So if you do like
Speaker 1: that kind of the gift exchange where you choose one
Speaker 1: person out of a group and that kind of thing,
Speaker 1: it's great because you put in your budget like whatever
Speaker 1: it is, like the gift can't be more than twenty
Speaker 1: five dollars, and then everyone puts in their name and
Speaker 1: their email and like three gifts or whatever that they'd like.
Speaker 1: So you've got to choose, and then the thing, the
Speaker 1: program or their website for free will send you your person,
Speaker 1: like you've got Karen, and here's the three things she'd like,
Speaker 1: and here's the general budget, like so you pick a
Speaker 1: budget overall for everyone. So it's awesome because my sisters
Speaker 1: and I used to do it every year anyway, but
Speaker 1: we would literally pick names out of a bowl and
Speaker 1: then I would always forget like, wait, who's my person?
Speaker 1: So every year I forget and so I just remember
Speaker 1: because draw Names just actually emailed me like it's that
Speaker 1: kind of year again. I was like, look at draw.
Speaker 2: Name, Oh so good marketing.
Speaker 1: Exactly, and then two, what's so awesome you could say
Speaker 1: you can actually put in there. Make sure you don't
Speaker 1: get the person from last year. You're like, look at Johnny,
Speaker 1: I don't even remember who I had last year, you know.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I'm excited to see like my niece, my nephew,
Speaker 1: my mom, my dad, my sisters, and of course Hobby
Speaker 1: is gonna come, and then we're gonna my mom always
Speaker 1: has an early dinner like three, I don't know why,
Speaker 1: and then we're going to go to his sisters afterwards
Speaker 1: and spend, you know, spend the rest of the evening there.
Speaker 2: So a blended holiday, but now it's weird. I was
Speaker 2: selfish this year for Thanksgiving. I was like, I'm not
Speaker 2: seeing any other family. I just want to see my
Speaker 2: immediate family. I'm not like cause you know, like I
Speaker 2: don't know. Growing up, I was always going to like
Speaker 2: different houses and different things, and it's just I just
Speaker 2: want to park it and just be somewhere and I
Speaker 2: have to be in traffic driving all over the city.
Speaker 2: But for Christmas, we are doing first of all, wire
Speaker 2: flights to Minneapolis, like nine hundred dollars for two people. Ridiculous.
Speaker 2: I don't know, You're not are you? You're not traveling
Speaker 2: for Christmas?
Speaker 1: Are you no favorites New Jersey?
Speaker 2: I'm telling Christmas on a weekend is the worst because
Speaker 2: like first year, have the first waymie of like, it's
Speaker 2: the holiday, so tickets are always more expensive, but I
Speaker 2: think the fact that it falls on a weekend just
Speaker 2: made everything so much more expensive. Like last year, I
Speaker 2: bought tickets to visit my mom for Christmas and they
Speaker 2: were less than three hundred dollars each, and this year
Speaker 2: it was four fifty apiece. So I was like, and
Speaker 2: I could have gone to Europe, but yeah, right, I
Speaker 2: guess I'll go to Minneapolis instead. Yeah, out out out.
Speaker 2: And then they have those basic economy seats which they
Speaker 2: don't even like do you have you ever gotten basic
Speaker 2: economy by accident? Yes, it's the worst. You can't bring
Speaker 2: a carry on, like, you don't get to choose your seat.
Speaker 2: I don't think it's.
Speaker 1: Guarantee the middle You're like, they're like, well, you're guaranteed
Speaker 1: the middle, and I'm like, honestly, the airlines are trash
Speaker 1: and they're getting trash here by the day, so pray
Speaker 1: for your right. I know. It's like, uh, because you're looking,
Speaker 1: I'm like, so wait, there's actually lower than low.
Speaker 2: Oh.
Speaker 1: Thanks, guaranteed middle guaranteed, no outlet guaranteed.
Speaker 2: Like guaranteed to board last. So everyone can just you know,
Speaker 2: watch everyone go before you. Yeah, I'm done. I'm like, okay,
Speaker 2: I'll spend the extra forty bucks to not feel like
Speaker 2: second rate, third rate, fifth rate. Yeah, a lot of days.
Speaker 2: What else is happening? Christy Tiagan and John Legend are
Speaker 2: having a baby, another one. They're allowed to have them
Speaker 2: as many as they want.
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, I love that because I know that they
Speaker 1: were having a hard time before.
Speaker 2: You know, oh I remember that. Yeah, when she like
Speaker 2: cried she had a didn't wait, she used to have
Speaker 2: a TV show or something, and she like cried talking
Speaker 2: about what how did they do? Were they like doing
Speaker 2: in vitro or something? I forget I.
Speaker 1: Think so, And honestly, they she just was having such
Speaker 1: a hard time. I remember she talked about that everyone
Speaker 1: want to feel like when you guys gonna have kids,
Speaker 1: and she said that it'd always break her heart because
Speaker 1: they were trying. And you know, people think like, well,
Speaker 1: you don't have kids. You know, sometimes it's because you
Speaker 1: just don't want, but sometimes there are literally women who've
Speaker 1: been trying for years. So when you're like, so you're
Speaker 1: in your huschood, I'm not gonna have kids, You're like, oh, thanks,
Speaker 1: because you know I've been trying, but for some reason,
Speaker 1: I'm not able. So like, especially now that I'm like older,
Speaker 1: now that we're trying and we're having a hard time,
Speaker 1: that like I'm more sensitive to that because you know,
Speaker 1: it seemed like such an innocent question, like, oh, you
Speaker 1: guys gonna have kids? What are you waiting on?
Speaker 2: Like h and it's the holidays coming up? So you know,
Speaker 2: any any single women out there? This is this is
Speaker 2: our dreaded I mean I just said hour, but you're dreaded.
Speaker 2: It was mine too. Last year, it was what's the
Speaker 2: wedding coming up? What you got planned? It's always something.
Speaker 2: Now it's are you gonna have a baby? When you
Speaker 2: gonna have a baby? Yes, just women in general. Man,
Speaker 2: I'm like, can you talk to my husband? Here's his phone, number.
Speaker 2: He's right over there on the couch. Go go ask
Speaker 2: him these questions. Oh, awkward family, awkward family holiday talks exactly.
Speaker 2: It's exciting for them.
Speaker 1: No, it is exciting, and I'm happy for her. I'm
Speaker 1: just glad my mom started to cut out because we
Speaker 1: used to do these huge family gatherings where it was
Speaker 1: like whose house it was like maybe five families, we
Speaker 1: would rotate houses. But the last couple of Thanksgiving it's
Speaker 1: been really small, which I like, it's just literally my sister's,
Speaker 1: my mom and my dad and then sometimes an auxiliary
Speaker 1: friend that somebody might bring or like, you know, like
Speaker 1: a random husband or so. But it's been really intimate
Speaker 1: and just nice. You know.
Speaker 2: I love it small and cozy and no randos.
Speaker 1: Exactly because that means it means that it's less there's
Speaker 1: less likely to be not that we ever have drama,
Speaker 1: but less likely to have those awkward none of your
Speaker 1: business questions.
Speaker 2: Yeah, totally, yeah, you could just play them. Tracy Ellis
Speaker 2: Ross's speech from the Glamour The Glamour Women of the
Speaker 2: What was it Women of the Year Awards? Did you
Speaker 2: see her with.
Speaker 1: No Drina went? Which I was so jelly, But whatever.
Speaker 2: You guys getting all the fun stuff. But she well,
Speaker 2: you can, you can from the comfort of your own home.
Speaker 2: You can watch the clip of Tracy Ellis at Ross's speech.
Speaker 2: She gave a speech basically on just that, like she's
Speaker 2: forty five, doesn't have a husband, doesn't have kids, and
Speaker 2: how she like she's talking about basically how she came
Speaker 2: to terms with that and what she tells people when
Speaker 2: they question her. But uh, yeah, I imagine that's really frustrating,
Speaker 2: especially when, like, you know, in her speech, she's like,
Speaker 2: I know, I haven't done these two things baby in marriage,
Speaker 2: but I have done like a million other things, right,
Speaker 2: you know.
Speaker 1: Why does that become the qualifier? Like, you know, it's
Speaker 1: so weird because it's like, before you know, I got married,
Speaker 1: it was like, oh, oh, you built a sixth figure
Speaker 1: and a seventh figure business. Oh, especially after being a
Speaker 1: preschool teacher and losing your job. All those things are good,
Speaker 1: you know, and you got married, Oh my god, you
Speaker 1: got oh. Like I'm like, because that was way easier
Speaker 1: than everything else totally, and it's so crazy. I feel like,
Speaker 1: you know, if I'm blessed to be get pregnant, which
Speaker 1: of course is such a blessing, and I know people
Speaker 1: are going to be excited, but it's not something where
Speaker 1: it's not like, aside from you know, the regular stuff,
Speaker 1: there's nothing I can do about my body deciding whether
Speaker 1: or it's going to happen, you know what I mean. Like,
Speaker 1: it's not like I can I can. I can put
Speaker 1: in work to make the budgetista be successful, but and
Speaker 1: I mean, I can do my best as far as
Speaker 1: the baby's concerned, but ultimately, my body's gonna do. My
Speaker 1: body's gonna do. So it's so disheartening that that's like
Speaker 1: you're like, you get a gold shiny metal You're a
Speaker 1: real woman now, you know, Like you know that part
Speaker 1: is frustrating because you're like, that's why I share with
Speaker 1: you guys about like the fibroids and like the trying
Speaker 1: and because you know, it's not easy. And so there
Speaker 1: might be a woman that you know and you're like, well,
Speaker 1: why don't you any kids? And meanwhile she's like, thanks,
Speaker 1: I had a miscarriage yesterday, but okay, you know, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: you know, and so yeah, it's not easy at all.
Speaker 1: All right, So are you ready to boost or break?
Speaker 1: Brown boosts? Brown break? What you're gonna do Are you ready?
Speaker 2: I'm ready born ready.
Speaker 1: Well, I think I'm gonna take a break from the
Speaker 1: whole Black Friday Cyber Monday thing. Like I mean, don't
Speaker 1: get me wrong, like if there's something you're kind of
Speaker 1: squatting on, like ooh, I've been wanting this hair dryer
Speaker 1: or this vacuum clean or whatever, but I feel like
Speaker 1: the marketers are winning and you're getting stuff that you're
Speaker 1: like I don't really need or I don't really want
Speaker 1: or you know.
Speaker 2: What I mean.
Speaker 1: Like, I just feel like I'm just taking a break
Speaker 1: because I asked my husband last night, Oh, my husband,
Speaker 1: it always sounds it still sounds crazy. Does it still
Speaker 1: sounds crazy to you? My husband?
Speaker 2: When you say it, it sounds a lot less awkward
Speaker 2: than saying fiance, Like fiance, I felt like, oh, fiance
Speaker 2: have potentious I don't know, but I honestly say husby,
Speaker 2: it's really weird. I should probably not say that, but
Speaker 2: I started saying husbye, and I just can't stop.
Speaker 1: But yeah, whenever I say husband, I'm always like wait,
Speaker 1: who oh my god head right there? So yeah, So
Speaker 1: I was asking him what do you want for you know, Christmas?
Speaker 1: And he was like honestly, I just want to be happy,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, okay, aside from that, and he was like, honestly,
Speaker 1: he wants a stereo system, but he was like, I
Speaker 1: don't want to get it here where we are because
Speaker 1: I want when we get to the house that we
Speaker 1: install one specifically for the house. So I said, okay,
Speaker 1: so that's not something you know that I'm gonna get.
Speaker 1: And then for Supergirl, I mean, I don't think she
Speaker 1: wants anything super techy. I feel like that Black Friday
Speaker 1: and Cyber Money are great times to get deals on
Speaker 1: like tech items or like a big ticket item. And
Speaker 1: she's pretty easy, honestly. For some reason, she's really into
Speaker 1: doll babies right now, like she wasn't when she was younger,
Speaker 1: and now she's like American Girl, you know, or whatever
Speaker 1: the equivalent is a Target and like doll baby clothes.
Speaker 1: She's eleven, so she know she's still in that age,
Speaker 1: and so she's super easy. Honestly, I could spend like
Speaker 1: fifty bucks at Target and rack up and she'd be like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, you know. So other than that, I
Speaker 1: just feel like there's nothing, really, like I don't have
Speaker 1: anything even for myself. There's no tech gadget that I
Speaker 1: kind of want. So I don't really have any plans
Speaker 1: I'm spending buying anything on Cyber Money or a Black Friday,
Speaker 1: but I just want to take a break from it
Speaker 1: or maybe a pause and make sure that you are
Speaker 1: going to get something for Black Friday or Cyber Money.
Speaker 1: You're not just getting stuff because you're just getting it,
Speaker 1: you know, Like you know, like make your list. So
Speaker 1: one thing I do do for for the holiday season
Speaker 1: is I kind of make a list of like everyone
Speaker 1: I'm potentially gonna get gifts for, and then I kind
Speaker 1: of map out like, oh, I likely get her this
Speaker 1: and him this and then that just so, and then
Speaker 1: I kind of write down how much each item is
Speaker 1: gonna cost. So I have a basic working budget. So
Speaker 1: I'm not like, cause one thing I've never had is
Speaker 1: credit card debt after the holiday seasons like ever ever,
Speaker 1: you know, because I'm like, well, one of my sisters
Speaker 1: will get something we're not getting all fult for because
Speaker 1: we have that draw names. I have a niece and
Speaker 1: nephew now, but he's too and she's seven months, so
Speaker 1: literally I can give him a lot about it and
Speaker 1: they're like yay, you know, you don't have a god son.
Speaker 1: He's too as well, So I mean, you know, there
Speaker 1: just would be like ten bucks maybe because they have
Speaker 1: so many toys already. So and I might not even
Speaker 1: give them a gift honestly or something really an expensive
Speaker 1: and then put money in there. I have. I have
Speaker 1: accounts for all of them and so and my parents
Speaker 1: are fairly easy.
Speaker 2: Like savings accounts are like IRA.
Speaker 1: Yes, I'm trying to God what to do because they're
Speaker 1: still really young. I'm trying to figure out where to
Speaker 1: put their money. I want to ask my financial advisor, like, okay,
Speaker 1: I give them one hundred dollars for each year that
Speaker 1: they're born on their birthday, so it's I have an
Speaker 1: account for Supergirl, my niece, my nephew, and my godson.
Speaker 1: So that's four kids. And so for a Supergirl, when
Speaker 1: she turns eleven, I put eleven hundred dollars in her account.
Speaker 1: My nephew turned two, two hundred dollars, and then they
Speaker 1: get fifty bucks a month.
Speaker 2: That's going to be expensive.
Speaker 1: I know, I don't even know why I started it
Speaker 1: like that or whatever.
Speaker 2: So when she turns twenty one, yeah.
Speaker 1: But you know what though, it said, I want it
Speaker 1: really for by the time, I mean forever and ever.
Speaker 1: I don't know when I'm going to stop it. Maybe
Speaker 1: when maybe when she turns twenty one and then. But
Speaker 1: I'm trying to figure out, like is it for college
Speaker 1: or what is it gonna be? But I you know,
Speaker 1: I've been consistently like putting money toward it to decide.
Speaker 1: But I'm trying to figure out where's the best place
Speaker 1: to put it because I feel like, obviously a savings
Speaker 1: account isn't it. But I also don't want to put
Speaker 1: it in in a five.
Speaker 2: Or one, well no one, five two nine plan.
Speaker 1: Yes, which is the college savings plan, because I don't
Speaker 1: know what college is going to be like in ten years,
Speaker 1: and I don't want to lock their money into a
Speaker 1: into a plan that they get penalized if it's not
Speaker 1: used for certain things.
Speaker 2: You know, yeah, five two nine plans. It can only
Speaker 2: be used for college expenses, although you can transfer it
Speaker 2: to other people like another niece or nephew or like
Speaker 2: a relative or something. But why not just like have
Speaker 2: their parent open a custodial ira for them.
Speaker 1: I was thinking that, like that was something that I
Speaker 1: was thinking that that might be the way is to
Speaker 1: put it in a custodial iray so it can't grow
Speaker 1: and then it can be use. Now if it's a
Speaker 1: custodial ira with like a regular ira, or does it
Speaker 1: is it? Do they have to wait for it to
Speaker 1: fully mature until they're like retirement age in order to
Speaker 1: not have any penalty for withdrawing.
Speaker 2: No, I think that you can. I think it depends
Speaker 2: on what they're withdrawing the funds for. But I think
Speaker 2: you can use it. For example, like if you're going
Speaker 2: to put a down payment on a house, you can.
Speaker 2: I think you can probably use it to pay for
Speaker 2: education expenses. You can definitely use it for retirement. I mean,
Speaker 2: what do you I guess it. I guess it depends
Speaker 2: on what you want them to be able to do
Speaker 2: with the money. But in terms of like when they
Speaker 2: have access to it, I think it would. I think
Speaker 2: they get access to it when they turn eighteen, and
Speaker 2: then you kind of like give the keys to them
Speaker 2: and they can go forth. They could roll it over
Speaker 2: into whatever they wanted to roll it over into.
Speaker 1: Okay, I like that custodial ira. I'm gonna do a
Speaker 1: little more digging because I've been asking myself, like Tiffany,
Speaker 1: you know better than to keep this into this low
Speaker 1: performing even though it's ally but low performing savings account.
Speaker 1: I've just been dragging my feet about where to put it, you.
Speaker 2: Know, yeah here you I mean, you could just open
Speaker 2: up like a coast total IRA somewhere like wherever you
Speaker 2: have your brokerage account, and then you know, you can
Speaker 2: always roll it over or they could always roll it
Speaker 2: over when we finally have access to it. As long
Speaker 2: as you roll it over to another IRA should be fine,
Speaker 2: like if they don't like the company or something like that.
Speaker 1: Okay, I like that.
Speaker 2: Hm, Okay, our friends have like five two nine plans
Speaker 2: that we just put the money there because that's where
Speaker 2: they want it to go. But yeah, I think what
Speaker 2: you say makes sense because, like I mean, I guess
Speaker 2: like they're assuming college is always going to be really expensive.
Speaker 2: But what if you don't need all the money.
Speaker 1: Exactly, or just like what if because like I'm pretty
Speaker 1: sure Supergirl is going to go, but like the baby
Speaker 1: is too, Like you know, in sixteen years, people might
Speaker 1: be going to like do like college might not be
Speaker 1: the thing that that it is. And now you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, And I just don't want to lock
Speaker 1: them into like, oh, you know what instead or what
Speaker 1: if Like my nephew is like sixteen and like this
Speaker 1: super genius and he wants to start a company. I
Speaker 1: don't want him to not to be able to say,
Speaker 1: you know, I really like to use his money to
Speaker 1: invest in my company.
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, I mean Mark. You could also do CDs,
Speaker 2: like a long term CD, like if you really don't
Speaker 2: want like if you know they're not going to touch
Speaker 2: it until you know, ten fifteen years from now, can
Speaker 2: put in CDs that might earn more than a I know,
Speaker 2: my grandma put mine in like a I don't even
Speaker 2: know what it was back when savings bonds had raped
Speaker 2: had like you could earn something on a savings bond
Speaker 2: and then I got it when I forget how old
Speaker 2: I was, I think must have like high school graduation
Speaker 2: or something. But yeah, I feel like a CD might
Speaker 2: Maybe that's like the maybe that's like the even the
Speaker 2: middle ground. If you don't want to lock it up
Speaker 2: until at fifty nine and a half, you know, in IRA,
Speaker 2: or if it until they go to college, then maybe
Speaker 2: you could just do like CDs just so you're earning
Speaker 2: them a little bit more.
Speaker 1: I wonder though with a CD, because you know, like
Speaker 1: how I contribute fifty bucks a month? I wonder how
Speaker 1: that works? Like, can do I add money? Do I
Speaker 1: have to get a CD every month? You know what
Speaker 1: I mean?
Speaker 2: Oh? Can you continue adding money? Good question? I don't know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that's that's a good question to ask.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna sit down with Maybe I'll just even call
Speaker 1: like ally just to see, like just to get a
Speaker 1: base because that is a good idea, because you know
Speaker 1: you're right though, because if you're going to save money
Speaker 1: for little ones in your life, you want to maximize
Speaker 1: your interest because they can actually take advantage, like all
Speaker 1: the stuff that you said, I wish I knew this
Speaker 1: when I was younger. You get to do it for
Speaker 1: someone who.
Speaker 2: Is younger exactly.
Speaker 1: But yeah, so Brown, break from these from using all
Speaker 1: tricking up all your money Black Friday. Get something that
Speaker 1: you've been like having your eye on, but make your
Speaker 1: list for the people that you want to buy things for,
Speaker 1: and try not to just get stuff just to get
Speaker 1: stuff like oh but it's on sale, but you're not
Speaker 1: really saving if you weren't on to buy it anyway.
Speaker 1: But no judgment, no judgment, but a side I.
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna hide. I'm not going anywhere Black Friday.
Speaker 2: It's a nightmare. The one thing I do allow myself
Speaker 2: to do is Black Friday always has really good clothing sales,
Speaker 2: like online, so I will like get new genes. That's
Speaker 2: my new gene day. I don't know how hy jeans
Speaker 2: are so important, but anyway, that's my one allowance. Yeah.
Speaker 2: So my brown break is also going to be holiday themed.
Speaker 2: And I was thinking back about one of the mistakes
Speaker 2: I made. I used to work at Coals. For those
Speaker 2: of you, I don't think I've mentioned that before. When
Speaker 2: I was in college and they used to pressure us
Speaker 2: to like sell, I worked at the Gap and at Coals,
Speaker 2: and I was like one of the top sales reps
Speaker 2: because I could get anybody to open up a Coals
Speaker 2: charge or a Gap card. They were like, yeah, I
Speaker 2: was like, really good at it. I had no idea
Speaker 2: what the hell I was telling them, but I was like, yeah,
Speaker 2: open up this gap card. You get fifteen percent of today.
Speaker 2: It's amazing. Your hair looks great, you look fatulous, those
Speaker 2: jeans look amazing on you. Of course you want a
Speaker 2: gap card. Just keep these good vibes going and I
Speaker 2: would open up like dozens of GAP cards per month,
Speaker 2: and they would reward us for it. You would get
Speaker 2: like pizza, You would get a little cash bonus depending
Speaker 2: on how many cards you would sell people on. And
Speaker 2: the Gap and Coles both did this. And it wasn't
Speaker 2: until obviously I grew up and you know, started writing
Speaker 2: about personal finance and learning more about like the products
Speaker 2: out there, that I realized how freaking terrible retail store
Speaker 2: cards are. And I was like, oh snap, so many
Speaker 2: times I put people on this path toward destruction. I
Speaker 2: had no idea, Like I myself opened up a Coals
Speaker 2: charge card in college and it was like a very
Speaker 2: small limit. It was like six hundred dollars, and I
Speaker 2: would just like charge stuff there and I was like, man,
Speaker 2: why is And I would be paying the minimum balance
Speaker 2: and one day I loose in my account and it
Speaker 2: was more than six hundred dollars because financing charges were
Speaker 2: like the APR when I was in school was twenty
Speaker 2: six point nine to nine percent, which is crazy, And
Speaker 2: I think you save what ten percent when you open
Speaker 2: up the card, But if you're like saving ten percent
Speaker 2: today and you're going to carry a balance and then
Speaker 2: you're going to get charged twenty six percent, twenty seven
Speaker 2: percent almost like the next month. It makes no sense. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but I feel like, I mean, I just want you
Speaker 2: to be on everywhere anyone who's going shopping on Black
Speaker 2: Friday or whatever anytime really, because they're always pushing credit cards.
Speaker 2: Just think about it before you take the like you
Speaker 2: take the carrot that they're dangling in front of you, Like,
Speaker 2: is it really gonna be worth that ten percent off?
Speaker 2: If one I'm gonna ding my credit score by applying
Speaker 2: for this, and two I'm not going to be able
Speaker 2: to pay off the balance and I'm just gonna get
Speaker 2: dragged for the next ten months or however long you know,
Speaker 2: with these interest charges before you sign up. And also
Speaker 2: I apologize for what I contributed to this cas how
Speaker 2: I have a guilty conscious about like.
Speaker 1: I was whoa because you have you still have a
Speaker 1: baby face, so you probably just like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: this cute girl off, how do you know what I'm
Speaker 1: gonna apply? You're like, okay, great.
Speaker 2: Once or twice you'd get the sassy customer to be
Speaker 2: like you don't even know what you're selling, do you?
Speaker 2: Like you know, like the woke the woke bomb, that
Speaker 2: is me. I mean, I don't know, I'm sorry. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So my sister used to always be like, like whatever
Speaker 1: you go out, she's like, oh God, like what someone's like,
Speaker 1: would you like to sign up for a credit card?
Speaker 1: She's always like, oh God, please yes, And if they
Speaker 1: push it, I'm like she's asking for it. Then I'm like, ma'am,
Speaker 1: do you know that every time you ask somebody to
Speaker 1: apply for one of these cards they could potentially use
Speaker 1: up to thirty points depending on how many cars they've
Speaker 1: applied for before, And that these store cards to interest
Speaker 1: rates are ridiculous and you're actually destroying their financial future.
Speaker 1: And then I always felt so bad after it because
Speaker 1: I always looking like I didn't I didn't know. I
Speaker 1: didn't I didn't know. And I'm like, will you think
Speaker 1: about that next time you signed somebody up for a card, haven't,
Speaker 1: I say.
Speaker 2: Mike drop Yeah, yep. All right, we Rea did some questions, yes,
Speaker 2: question quicker questions. So we have a good question today
Speaker 2: and if you guys want to submit a question, you
Speaker 2: can go to Brian Ambition podcast dot com or hit
Speaker 2: us up on Gmail at Brian Ambition Podcasts at gmail
Speaker 2: dot com or Facebook or LinkedIn or smoke signal. Whatever
Speaker 2: today's question comes from doesn't want to be named. So
Speaker 2: I just read a post about Shonda Rhyme, so I'm
Speaker 2: just gonna say her name is Shonda. So here's Shonda's question.
Speaker 2: First of all, thank you for the podcast. You're welcome.
Speaker 2: She says, I'm currently stuck between a hard and a
Speaker 2: rock place a heart and I just read that completely wrong.
Speaker 2: That was me. I'm sorry, Shonda, you didn't write it wrong.
Speaker 2: I'm just tired. Okay, sorry. Her question is about voluntary
Speaker 2: reprossessions on her car, so okay. She says, I'm currently
Speaker 2: stuck between a rock and a hard place. I'm a
Speaker 2: single mother of a special needs child. His medical expenses
Speaker 2: are getting more expensive daily. Unfortunately, I don't qualify for
Speaker 2: any assistance due to my income. I'm at a point
Speaker 2: in which I'd like to purchase a house. My dilemma
Speaker 2: is that I can't save any money due to my
Speaker 2: almost six hundred dollars car. Note. I can't get a
Speaker 2: refinanced because the balance is too high. My question is,
Speaker 2: do you recommend a voluntary repossession of my car. I'm
Speaker 2: a member of a credit union that will find excuse me.
Speaker 2: I'm a member of my credit union that will finance
Speaker 2: a new car. My concern is that I will have
Speaker 2: a repossession on my credit report that will hinder me
Speaker 2: from purchasing a home. I'm looking into purchasing using the
Speaker 2: NACA program, which is a little more lenient. But how
Speaker 2: bad will a what is that National Association of Credit
Speaker 2: and you look that up anyway, how bad will repossession
Speaker 2: look on my credit report? I'm out of options? Thanks
Speaker 2: in advance? Oh she called her? She signed it stuck.
Speaker 1: Oh well, And I share that when I met Superman,
Speaker 1: he had this big, old, beautiful Denali it was whatever
Speaker 1: that new year was, and his co sign it was
Speaker 1: none other than his lovely ex girlfriend who you can imagine.
Speaker 1: I was thrilled and Superman because he didn't have me
Speaker 1: in his life. His car payment, Mandy, if you could imagine,
Speaker 1: was nine hundred dollars a month.
Speaker 2: Yikes, And I was like, oh how, I.
Speaker 1: Honestly don't know where he Like, I don't know he
Speaker 1: went to the dealership, and I'm assuming that he got
Speaker 1: financing through the dealership. Honestly, I don't know. Nine hundred
Speaker 1: dollars a month and the reason why he felt comfortable
Speaker 1: paying nine hundred because where he worked, he he actually
Speaker 1: got rent for free, so he wasn't paying to live
Speaker 1: because he was like on call, like you know. So
Speaker 1: he was like cause he was like on call like handyman,
Speaker 1: so he was like, hey, I lived for free. I
Speaker 1: could get this big, shiny new car. He didn't have
Speaker 1: great credit, so they probably finagled, you know how it is.
Speaker 1: They twisted turn and they finago and you get a
Speaker 1: co signer and somehow you get to nine hundred a
Speaker 1: whole dollars a month. I remember being like, I've never
Speaker 1: even heard of that before, and then I was like,
Speaker 1: so on top of that, you're paying insurance, so you're
Speaker 1: paying a full mortgage payment for this brand new big
Speaker 1: truck that you're driving. So like, aside from the fact
Speaker 1: that she was a co signer, I was like, something
Speaker 1: has to give. And I remember he fought me on
Speaker 1: it at first because he was like, no, I can't
Speaker 1: afford It's not like to have to pay rent, I said,
Speaker 1: but one day you might then how will you afford both?
Speaker 1: And thankfully, you know, it was more so the girlfriend
Speaker 1: thing that made him give it up, because I was like,
Speaker 1: I can't be your girlfriend, and this girlfriend is co
Speaker 1: signed because she's using it as a reason to stay
Speaker 1: in your life, and that's not happening. And so he
Speaker 1: volunteerly had his card repode and he had to pay
Speaker 1: the balance. I forget what it was. I think maybe
Speaker 1: it was just a few thousand dollars. So you want
Speaker 1: to you want to see, there's two ways you can
Speaker 1: do it. You can either give the car back to
Speaker 1: you know, the dealership or wherever you got it, or
Speaker 1: you could see if you can sell it for an
Speaker 1: amount that's even more than what you would give it
Speaker 1: back to. So if you could find somebody, let's just
Speaker 1: say they say the car is, you owe fifteen thousand,
Speaker 1: And if you give the car back and they say
Speaker 1: that they'll take they'll give you ten. That means you're
Speaker 1: gonna owe five. But let's just say you're able to
Speaker 1: sell it for twelve and obviously that's probably a better look.
Speaker 1: That way, you can then give that twelve thousand dollars
Speaker 1: back to whoever you owe it to. So, but I
Speaker 1: don't believe did he sell his No. I think he
Speaker 1: just like voluntarily gave it back and just paid off
Speaker 1: the balance. And did it affect his credit, yes, but
Speaker 1: honestly not that long. I mean, you're not gonna be
Speaker 1: able to buy a house in like six months. That's
Speaker 1: what you're looking for, you know, because he did all
Speaker 1: these other things to raise his credit up with my help,
Speaker 1: like you know, pay down your credit cards, pay on time,
Speaker 1: all this kind of stuff, and so his credit score
Speaker 1: is well in the mid seven hundreds. And you know
Speaker 1: that was maybe like I don't know, like but it
Speaker 1: got to mid seven hundreds maybe like a year or
Speaker 1: so after him giving back the car. So it was
Speaker 1: worth it because sure enough a year or later, they
Speaker 1: were like, yeah, we no longer gonna need you to
Speaker 1: be on call. You have me right now. And I
Speaker 1: was like, you're welcome, and now we're married.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you never right, You may be able to just
Speaker 2: afford it now, but you never know what's going to happen. Yes,
Speaker 2: the one thing I'll add to that is that what
Speaker 2: was the one thing I was going to add to that? Okay,
Speaker 2: So she asks what's she's concerned? So she wants to
Speaker 2: buy a house. She's wondering if this is going to
Speaker 2: hurt her credit. But another thing to consider is that
Speaker 2: your debt to income ratio is a huge factor in
Speaker 2: determining whether or not a lender will approve you for
Speaker 2: a mortgage. And if you have this massive car note
Speaker 2: on your on your income or sorry, on your debt sheet,
Speaker 2: or whatever the lender looks at, this is going to
Speaker 2: hurt you, probably just as much as a credit score,
Speaker 2: a low credit score would, if not more. I would
Speaker 2: say so, I would say, that's just all the more
Speaker 2: encouragement to get rid of the debt as soon as possible.
Speaker 2: And I mean, I don't know how you're going to
Speaker 2: save for a down payment if you've also got this
Speaker 2: six hundred dollars car note that you say you can't afford.
Speaker 2: So I think getting this car off your back as
Speaker 2: soon as you can, as wisely as you can, is
Speaker 2: probably the right answer, she says. She says, I can't
Speaker 2: get it refinanced because the balance is too high. That's
Speaker 2: probably because the the remaining balance on her car note
Speaker 2: is worth more than the car. I think that if
Speaker 2: you are if you take the loss, which you're gonna
Speaker 2: have to do either way, if you sell the car,
Speaker 2: if you get it repossessed voluntarily, you'll have to take
Speaker 2: a loss, and oh the lender or something left over
Speaker 2: if you if another option is maybe get a loan
Speaker 2: from a friend or a family member to maybe pay
Speaker 2: it off enough so that you can refinance or pay it,
Speaker 2: you know, help you cover the balance of whatever is
Speaker 2: left after a voluntary repo or after you sell the car.
Speaker 2: It's just it's like, there's not going to be a nice,
Speaker 2: neat sort of like answer here where you're gonna end
Speaker 2: up with no debt at the end of it. But
Speaker 2: I feel like the sooner you do this, the better
Speaker 2: than keeping this really expensive car. Note, I guess the
Speaker 2: next question is like getting it repossessed or selling it.
Speaker 2: I mean, how is she going to get around after that?
Speaker 2: She'll have to she'll have to get another car, take
Speaker 2: the prof check the profit from whatever you sell the
Speaker 2: car for, and buy a car that's less than that.
Speaker 1: I guess there might not even be a profit, So
Speaker 1: you have to think about that, like, what does it
Speaker 1: look like.
Speaker 2: So well that's true, yeah, yeah, she's underwater. Yeah you know.
Speaker 1: So we only had one car for a while as
Speaker 1: a result. And then he saved up some money I think,
Speaker 1: and ended up buying a car like a like a
Speaker 1: you know, a used car for thirty five hundred that
Speaker 1: he drove for a while. It wasn't ideal, but it
Speaker 1: was like it was cash. But you know, that took
Speaker 1: a little while and thankfully we had a two car household,
Speaker 1: so it was it wasn't super easy, but it wasn't
Speaker 1: like impossible. So you want to ask yourself that as well,
Speaker 1: because what you don't want to do, because this is
Speaker 1: what they often suggests, is like, oh, well, well we
Speaker 1: could you know, we could roll you over into a
Speaker 1: different car, and you're still gonna oh, you know, so
Speaker 1: don't let them convince you of that.
Speaker 2: And traded in. That's like the same thing, right, trading in, and.
Speaker 1: Don't try to convince you of that. And you don't
Speaker 1: want to be repossessed either, because you can't afford it,
Speaker 1: like like voluntarily, like giving your car back. It's not great,
Speaker 1: but it's still better than for them to come and
Speaker 1: take it because you miss payin it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a really common problem today, So don't feel bad, Shonda,
Speaker 2: Yeah it is. And thanks for submitting your question. Another question.
Speaker 2: I think we'll end it there. We have eleven minutes.
Speaker 2: I'm trying to get you those cookies, man.
Speaker 1: I know, So for those of you who don't know
Speaker 1: I'm trying to get to my vegan cookies from Whole Foods,
Speaker 1: and Whole Foods closes, you know, not soon, but you
Speaker 1: stood it up. So I told Mandy, I've kind of
Speaker 1: got a hard stop for a good reason, because these
Speaker 1: vegan cookies have been my mind. And I'm babysitting my
Speaker 1: niece tomorrow. She's seven months and I feel like I'm
Speaker 1: going to need a cookie break at some point, so
Speaker 1: I want to be prepared.
Speaker 2: Babysitting tips by Tiffany.
Speaker 1: Yes, cookies on hands.
Speaker 2: Oh man. Luckily, no one's asked me to babysit. They're
Speaker 2: small infant, so more power to you. I mean, she's
Speaker 2: your niece, so you kind of signed up for that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, oh man.
Speaker 2: All right, how about some wins?
Speaker 1: Yes? Lot? So do you want to go first?
Speaker 2: I'd love to go first. I need to throw I
Speaker 2: need to throw a shout out to a fellow Mandy
Speaker 2: in the world. You don't see them too often. So
Speaker 2: I read this story about this entrepreneur named Mandy Bowen
Speaker 2: Bowman sorry Bowman, who wanted to make buying black a
Speaker 2: lot easier. I know we got this question a while back, like,
Speaker 2: do you recommend shopping or how do you find Like,
Speaker 2: we want to support minority own businesses, black owned businesses,
Speaker 2: but like how do we find them? This young lady
Speaker 2: has created an app called Official Black Wall Street, which
Speaker 2: is an app that will alert you when you're near
Speaker 2: by any black owned businesses. And of course, the whole
Speaker 2: emphasis is that she wants to give quality businesses more
Speaker 2: exposure and to help customers spend their money within the
Speaker 2: black community. And I just saw it. This was awesome,
Speaker 2: So shout out to Mandy.
Speaker 1: Yes, Mandy, you're right. You don't see too many Mandy's
Speaker 1: out there in the world. So my shout out actually
Speaker 1: goes to a fellow Wave member. Her name is Yvonne
Speaker 1: og aka Molly from Insecure. Woop woop, hey girl. She
Speaker 1: just got nominated for an NAACP Award.
Speaker 2: They all did they yes, And yeah, yeah, I just
Speaker 2: saw that. Awesome.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I just was like, whoop, whoop, whoop whoop,
Speaker 1: just to see, like, you know, just I got to like,
Speaker 1: I mean, of course we're connected via or WhatsApp check,
Speaker 1: but to like, you know, because I never met her
Speaker 1: in person, although we were just cool online, and so
Speaker 1: just to kind of like hear her story and she's awesome,
Speaker 1: like she I didn't realize that she really started her
Speaker 1: career as a comedian and she's doing way more stand
Speaker 1: up and stuff now. So I think she's doing something
Speaker 1: at the Barclay Center and Carolines and stuff like that.
Speaker 1: But just to see her like evolution is just dope
Speaker 1: to see and just how chill and how cool and
Speaker 1: how funny as hex she was. And so just to
Speaker 1: you know, I just want to give a little shot.
Speaker 1: I didn't realize they all did. But either way, Hey,
Speaker 1: Wave's girl, Congratulations to you and to your whole cast,
Speaker 1: because Insecure certainly deserves it. I love that you are
Speaker 1: collectively changing the conversation about you know what it is
Speaker 1: to be like Brown. You know that we have regular lives.
Speaker 1: It doesn't always have to be filled with strife and
Speaker 1: crime and this and that, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Like Insecure is just like regular life happening. You know.
Speaker 2: I love it. I miss it. So I was just
Speaker 2: thinking how much I missed it the other day when
Speaker 2: I was watching looking for something to watch. I can't
Speaker 2: wait for it to come back. Love it. Yeah, And
Speaker 2: so Lena Waite from She's that One. She's the writer
Speaker 2: who wrote the episode and Master of None that won
Speaker 2: the what do they win? The Golden Globe for the
Speaker 2: episode about coming out to your family at Thanksgiving and
Speaker 2: they were nominated for NAACP Award two.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Hey insecure, Hey insecure. Oh I feel good. I
Speaker 1: feel very well rested now because.
Speaker 2: I know you did seem a little haggard the last episode.
Speaker 1: I was so haggard. I mean, like, thank goodness, like
Speaker 1: you know, Patrice was just awesome. But like before that,
Speaker 1: like the last couple of weeks, I have been like
Speaker 1: I don't know my name, who am I? And I
Speaker 1: feel like this has been the first time in a
Speaker 1: few weeks, and I'm like, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: there is a lot of work to do, but I
Speaker 1: don't feel like I am literally sinking and quick saying.
Speaker 1: I feel like, you know, it's gonna get done. I
Speaker 1: can't wait. Because all day and while it was just
Speaker 1: me and the baby, and I had a choice between
Speaker 1: my two year old nephew or my seventy seven month
Speaker 1: old baby, and I wasn't sure which would you have chosen?
Speaker 2: Uh? And uh two seven year old seven month old baby?
Speaker 1: That's what I was thinking. I was like, ooh, because
Speaker 1: he's fun because we play, but then he never stops.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the two year olds, they can run, they can
Speaker 2: pull things down, they can stick their fingers into sockets
Speaker 2: like they're a hazard.
Speaker 1: And then but then the baby, you never know. She's
Speaker 1: a happy baby, but then you're like, ooh, but what
Speaker 1: is she ends up being fussy because then they never
Speaker 1: stop crying, and you're like, what do I do? Just yeah,
Speaker 1: so I just said, you know what, I'm gonna take
Speaker 1: my because at least there's definitely naps in the horizon
Speaker 1: with her. With him, he's like, I refuse to sleep.
Speaker 1: So yeah, so I'll you know, I'll give you guys
Speaker 1: a little update on that. You know how that went.
Speaker 1: If I survived and we could talk about Thanksgiving? Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: happy Thanksgiving, everybody. You know this will be out right
Speaker 1: before enjoy and each of your heart's content.
Speaker 2: Yes, ma'am, Happy Thanksgiving. Forget your diets, I know I have.
Speaker 1: I can't even eat No, I can't even eat me.
Speaker 1: I'm afraid of what my stomach will do to me,
Speaker 1: but I certainly will smell it.
Speaker 2: Turkey's worth it. Keep on with your veganism.
Speaker 1: On that note, we've made it cookies for me.
Speaker 2: Okay, have you Thanksgiving everybody? Go Check us out on Facebook,
Speaker 2: leave us a review on iTunes, Tell your husband, tell
Speaker 2: your wife, tell your friends about the show. Thank you
Speaker 2: for your support. Yes, you'll get your cookies.