WEBVTT - EP. 104 — Tis the Season for Debt 0:00:16.640 --> 0:00:20.279 Yay, I'm back. I feel like I've been doing a 0:00:20.320 --> 0:00:21.840 lot of Tripolitely. 0:00:22.480 --> 0:00:23.239 Tell me about it. 0:00:24.200 --> 0:00:26.800 So well, first, hey ba listeners, how you are, how 0:00:26.840 --> 0:00:30.400 you been? If you're new, welcome, full up a seat. Well, 0:00:30.480 --> 0:00:31.720 I don't know, you know, I just got back to 0:00:31.800 --> 0:00:36.599 Australia and then I went to Arizona for a special 0:00:36.720 --> 0:00:40.599 gathering of West Africans West African Vultron. 0:00:40.720 --> 0:00:43.760 To be fully correct, I thought I felt an electric 0:00:43.840 --> 0:00:47.040 current go through the universe this weekend and I was like, 0:00:47.040 --> 0:00:48.960 what's happening? And then I saw your Instagram and I 0:00:49.000 --> 0:00:52.240 was like, oh, it's the future power of Nigerian Americans 0:00:53.240 --> 0:00:55.520 in the Grand Canyon and wherever the hell you guys were. 0:00:55.840 --> 0:01:01.040 Yeah, we were in Sedona and Phoenix. So it was Nigerians, 0:01:01.080 --> 0:01:05.200 well Nigerians Ganans. I think it's someone who's Cameroonian. So 0:01:05.480 --> 0:01:08.920 just being a group of dope with that, you said, 0:01:08.920 --> 0:01:09.720 who was Cameronian? 0:01:09.840 --> 0:01:13.840 Now I said, ooh, I've never met anyone from Cameroon. Cameroon. 0:01:14.080 --> 0:01:17.560 I had to think backwards, like. 0:01:17.520 --> 0:01:21.839 What a Cameroonian be called? Yeah, So honestly the group 0:01:21.959 --> 0:01:25.720 started because I believe so a friend of mine, Lovey 0:01:25.800 --> 0:01:28.440 from awesomely lovey. Many of you probably know her to 0:01:28.480 --> 0:01:31.360 the New York Times best seller blogger and just all 0:01:31.400 --> 0:01:32.160 around badass. 0:01:32.200 --> 0:01:33.160 Did she get her sticker? 0:01:34.040 --> 0:01:36.360 She did, you know, yeah, and I'm so glad she 0:01:36.360 --> 0:01:38.560 made that fuss because she got the sticker and the 0:01:38.680 --> 0:01:41.480 new her book I'm Judging You, which is a New 0:01:41.520 --> 0:01:45.480 York Times bestseller. Again she it's in hard dack now, 0:01:45.520 --> 0:01:48.040 so it's available like wherever books are sold. Oh are 0:01:48.040 --> 0:01:49.280 you kidding? Men? 0:01:50.640 --> 0:01:53.560 She did the reverse, so she started out paperback and 0:01:53.560 --> 0:01:56.680 then went hardcover. Yeh, tristan cool. 0:01:57.080 --> 0:01:59.160 I'm not sure why, like how that works, but yeah. 0:01:59.200 --> 0:02:04.040 So she we apparently went to our guess met a 0:02:04.080 --> 0:02:07.560 whole bunch of dope folks at like some event a 0:02:07.640 --> 0:02:10.880 couple years back, and they stayed connected because there were 0:02:11.000 --> 0:02:13.560 the few brown people that were there and they all 0:02:13.600 --> 0:02:16.880 happened to be West African and some exclusive like you know, 0:02:17.040 --> 0:02:20.920 like conference or something like invite only conference, and she 0:02:21.160 --> 0:02:24.000 was like, you know, we should all connect, and then 0:02:24.720 --> 0:02:26.880 they did and they started kind of inviting their friends 0:02:26.880 --> 0:02:29.200 in so Lovely actually invited me, and then the other 0:02:29.280 --> 0:02:31.960 folks who she was at that conference with started inviting 0:02:32.000 --> 0:02:34.560 their friends, and before you knew it, know it. We 0:02:34.639 --> 0:02:38.680 started kind of like a chat like WhatsApp, and before 0:02:38.720 --> 0:02:40.560 it was just kind of like, you know, just group chat. 0:02:41.560 --> 0:02:43.760 But now it's really starting to evolve. And so I'm 0:02:43.760 --> 0:02:47.240 excited because but I didn't really know what half the 0:02:47.240 --> 0:02:49.919 people did. I just knew that they seemed fun and dope, 0:02:50.200 --> 0:02:51.840 and you know, I think I had done an initial 0:02:51.919 --> 0:02:54.520 Google search, you know, on some of them, like oh, 0:02:54.600 --> 0:02:57.040 well who's that, Oh who's that? Oh wow? And then 0:02:57.040 --> 0:02:58.799 after a while I was like I just stopped. I'm like, ah, 0:02:58.840 --> 0:03:01.760 they just started cool in the group been So, you know, 0:03:01.880 --> 0:03:05.120 we a few months back, someone was like, we should 0:03:05.240 --> 0:03:06.800 really I think, you know, there was we all met 0:03:06.880 --> 0:03:08.840 up at essence Fest, or like a large chunk of 0:03:08.919 --> 0:03:12.160 us were either speaking or participating in somewhere at essence Fest, 0:03:12.400 --> 0:03:16.200 and so we all had like lunch and we all 0:03:16.240 --> 0:03:18.480 went to like concert and backstage and we just had 0:03:18.480 --> 0:03:20.960 a really good time together. And we started thinking like 0:03:21.000 --> 0:03:23.240 we should really make this a deeper connection. And so 0:03:24.320 --> 0:03:28.359 three of the young women from the group, Opal Funa 0:03:28.480 --> 0:03:34.240 and Justina, they they put together this Wave Summit and 0:03:34.280 --> 0:03:38.320 it was dope. The house was amazing, I mean, like 0:03:38.560 --> 0:03:41.880 MTV cribs amazing. Even people who were like in the 0:03:41.920 --> 0:03:46.600 group who's who run in circles with fancy folks, were like, whoa, 0:03:47.000 --> 0:03:50.320 this house was amazing. It was so amazing. I didn't 0:03:50.320 --> 0:03:52.360 even feel comfortable. I was like, what is this? This 0:03:52.440 --> 0:03:56.280 is like a set, you know. And so it was 0:03:56.320 --> 0:03:58.320 beautiful and it was set right in the mountains, so 0:03:58.360 --> 0:04:01.680 you could see all the red mountains and and we 0:04:01.760 --> 0:04:03.600 spent a lot of time just like talking to getting 0:04:03.640 --> 0:04:06.240 getting to know one another and figuring out how we 0:04:06.240 --> 0:04:09.400 can help each other, and just like hanging out and connecting. Honestly, 0:04:09.440 --> 0:04:13.920 it was really dope's It's crazy to be among high 0:04:14.000 --> 0:04:18.560 achievers and to see what that looks like mixed with 0:04:18.600 --> 0:04:22.120 different personalities, you know, because everyone here is like a 0:04:22.200 --> 0:04:24.480 super high achiever. Honestly, I kept thinking to myself, why 0:04:24.480 --> 0:04:26.400 am I here? I feel like a freshman for all 0:04:26.440 --> 0:04:30.919 these seniors, you know. And that was nice too. It 0:04:31.040 --> 0:04:34.040 was nice to kind of just sit back in awe 0:04:34.320 --> 0:04:36.800 and just be like, what, She's the one who made 0:04:36.800 --> 0:04:39.920 what her business is doing, what this one is doing? What? 0:04:40.040 --> 0:04:41.640 You know? So I just kept being like. 0:04:41.600 --> 0:04:46.479 What so y'all like, oh, sorry, y'all, Like so basically 0:04:46.640 --> 0:04:48.760 it's like a group trip you rent to like an 0:04:48.800 --> 0:04:50.080 Airbnb or like a house. 0:04:50.360 --> 0:04:53.159 Yeah it was an Airbnb, but it was a super face. Yeah, 0:04:53.200 --> 0:04:54.919 so just to like get to know each other and 0:04:54.960 --> 0:04:56.240 figure out what do we want to do with this, 0:04:56.400 --> 0:04:59.839 like you know, this tremendous power we have you know, No, 0:05:00.080 --> 0:05:02.400 I'm just but yeah, so it was Honestly, it was 0:05:02.400 --> 0:05:05.760 really awesome. But yeah, I learned some really great lessons 0:05:05.800 --> 0:05:09.920 just about balance and harmony and that I used to 0:05:09.960 --> 0:05:12.200 always think, like, well, once I get to a certain level, 0:05:12.320 --> 0:05:15.640 certain I won't have certain issues anymore, like certain like 0:05:16.000 --> 0:05:18.200 I'll figure out balance and I'll figure out how to 0:05:18.240 --> 0:05:21.080 make everything work and I won't still be worried about 0:05:21.160 --> 0:05:26.600 messing up. And yeah, that's not true. It's like, oh, 0:05:26.800 --> 0:05:29.599 like so just to see what it looked like from 0:05:29.600 --> 0:05:31.240 I don't want to say at the top, because everybody's 0:05:31.240 --> 0:05:33.480 still striving, but to kind of see what it looked 0:05:33.520 --> 0:05:36.920 like from like to me extreme achievement and to see 0:05:36.960 --> 0:05:39.200 like to learn that I have to learn how to 0:05:39.279 --> 0:05:43.599 manage the emotion of expectation and not getting everything I 0:05:43.640 --> 0:05:46.880 want or whatever now because just because I achieved more, 0:05:47.080 --> 0:05:49.320 that those feelings don't go away. So to see it 0:05:49.360 --> 0:05:51.920 in folks like that, like, no, you just better figure 0:05:51.960 --> 0:05:53.719 out how to manage it now, because that the more 0:05:53.760 --> 0:05:55.640 you achieve, the more you want to achieve, and the 0:05:55.640 --> 0:05:57.280 more you're going to mess up, and the more you're 0:05:57.279 --> 0:05:59.440 going to be unsure. Certain things that net never really 0:05:59.480 --> 0:06:01.920 goes away. It's just human. So it was really nice 0:06:01.920 --> 0:06:04.280 to see that. I was, like I was telling Drina. 0:06:04.760 --> 0:06:06.000 She didn't come with me, but I was just telling 0:06:06.120 --> 0:06:10.000 when I got home, like we need some more like 0:06:10.320 --> 0:06:12.400 real life, in person friends. Not to say the waves 0:06:12.400 --> 0:06:13.680 are not my friends, but you know what I mean, 0:06:13.720 --> 0:06:17.000 like the folks that you connect to regularly, like you 0:06:17.040 --> 0:06:21.320 know that aside from us who are growing a business, 0:06:21.320 --> 0:06:26.640 because it's a weird space because you don't know sometimes 0:06:26.720 --> 0:06:28.960 how you're doing, you know what I mean. Like when 0:06:29.040 --> 0:06:31.320 I had a job, you know, and I was a teacher, 0:06:31.600 --> 0:06:35.359 it was clear there were these clear markers of like, Okay, 0:06:35.400 --> 0:06:37.680 the kids can read, and I'm here on time, and 0:06:37.720 --> 0:06:39.719 my left the plants are done. But when you work 0:06:39.720 --> 0:06:42.839 for yourself, sometimes I'm like out here floating and I 0:06:42.880 --> 0:06:46.080 don't know how I'm doing. Honestly, I'm like, am I 0:06:46.120 --> 0:06:49.840 doing good? I don't know? I mean because money is 0:06:49.360 --> 0:06:54.640 not is not a good enough like measuring stick, because 0:06:54.640 --> 0:06:57.000 sometimes you will randomly make money and you're like, yeah, 0:06:57.000 --> 0:06:59.120 I didn't that was a mistake, but okay, you know, 0:07:00.080 --> 0:07:04.039 and so and sometimes too, you know, you will be 0:07:04.160 --> 0:07:07.680 busting your behind and it won't work. So it's like 0:07:08.360 --> 0:07:10.800 it's the feedback for you know, when you're an actual 0:07:10.920 --> 0:07:13.800 or sometimes it's difficult to gauge where am I and 0:07:13.840 --> 0:07:15.880 how am I doing? And because you can get so 0:07:15.960 --> 0:07:18.320 much in the weeds that you feel like, am I 0:07:18.400 --> 0:07:20.360 doing well? You know, because I don't know what it 0:07:20.360 --> 0:07:23.160 looks like from the outside, and even still just because 0:07:23.200 --> 0:07:24.760 it looks good from the outside doesn't mean it's really 0:07:24.800 --> 0:07:27.600 good on the inside. So it was just nice to 0:07:27.680 --> 0:07:31.040 kind of like look at like, you know, it's almost 0:07:31.080 --> 0:07:33.200 like it was like looking in like in ad mirror, 0:07:33.240 --> 0:07:35.840 even if it was an advanced mirror of like, oh okay, 0:07:36.720 --> 0:07:40.680 so you know, I can kind of see what it 0:07:40.720 --> 0:07:43.560 looks like and kind of like what my my markers 0:07:43.600 --> 0:07:47.000 and my goals are, you know. Yeah, so that was 0:07:47.040 --> 0:07:48.840 cool about it. So when you do this weekend, I 0:07:48.880 --> 0:07:50.520 saw you in that pool. 0:07:50.720 --> 0:07:54.880 Oh I had some self care took care of maybe 0:07:54.880 --> 0:07:57.840 this weekend that place was amazing. Yeah, my friends are 0:07:57.880 --> 0:08:02.400 so nice and there's just massive, like just I don't 0:08:02.440 --> 0:08:05.600 know this huge spa type facility that I passed. I 0:08:05.640 --> 0:08:09.080 just drove by it one day in Jersey and Edgewater 0:08:09.400 --> 0:08:11.520 if you're familiar with that area, and I was like, 0:08:11.720 --> 0:08:13.880 I want to see what's in there. And I mentioned 0:08:13.880 --> 0:08:15.720 it in passing one of my girlfriends. And then from 0:08:15.720 --> 0:08:18.120 my birthday, a bunch of my my little group of 0:08:18.120 --> 0:08:20.040 friends got together and got me a gift card and 0:08:20.080 --> 0:08:22.720 it just kind of like sat forever, and finally this weekend, 0:08:22.760 --> 0:08:26.280 I was like, I'm going and it was magical, Like 0:08:26.760 --> 0:08:29.120 I mean when you talk about spending money on an 0:08:29.160 --> 0:08:31.440 experience where you feel like that was worth all the pennies. 0:08:32.160 --> 0:08:34.400 It was only seventy five. It was seventy five dollars, 0:08:34.440 --> 0:08:37.760 but you get access to just endless rooms of different 0:08:37.840 --> 0:08:43.360 like saunas and hot tubs and cold pools and warm 0:08:43.400 --> 0:08:47.040 pools and pools outside and pools inside and comfy chairs 0:08:47.080 --> 0:08:49.319 you can just recline in and look at the view 0:08:49.440 --> 0:08:53.120 and I mean, like, what is the name. 0:08:53.040 --> 0:08:55.200 Of the spot? And how far work in Jersey City. 0:08:55.600 --> 0:08:58.520 It's only it's like a thirty minute twenty thirty minute 0:08:58.559 --> 0:09:02.160 drive from Jersey City. Yeah, you have you have to go. 0:09:02.320 --> 0:09:04.880 You have to go. Take a friend. I just want whether, 0:09:05.160 --> 0:09:07.640 I just want a good My best my best girlfriend 0:09:08.280 --> 0:09:10.800 who she like runs, she loves the spa, and she 0:09:10.840 --> 0:09:12.560 took me one time to like one of those janky 0:09:12.600 --> 0:09:15.480 bath houses in the city in Manhattan, and I was like, 0:09:15.600 --> 0:09:17.240 I don't know if I'm ever coming back here, like 0:09:17.640 --> 0:09:19.800 cause it's like in the basement and it's you know, 0:09:19.800 --> 0:09:21.560 it's New York, so you can't fit a big spa, 0:09:21.760 --> 0:09:23.800 so they're like they're leaking and you don't know where 0:09:23.880 --> 0:09:25.960 all the web the water is coming from. And you're 0:09:26.000 --> 0:09:29.240 like there's Randos, you know, sitting in the spa next 0:09:29.240 --> 0:09:31.080 to you, and the sauna next to you. And I 0:09:31.120 --> 0:09:32.480 wasn't sure if I was ever going to go back. 0:09:32.480 --> 0:09:36.439 But this place was like spectacular, so clean. The women 0:09:36.480 --> 0:09:39.760 and men are separate for the in the like the 0:09:39.800 --> 0:09:42.319 pools and saunas area, and then there's like a communal 0:09:42.360 --> 0:09:44.880 area and then there's there's like four different levels and 0:09:44.920 --> 0:09:47.400 they have restaurant, they have a smoothie bar. 0:09:47.720 --> 0:09:51.360 And I think this place, like it. 0:09:51.280 --> 0:09:53.520 Sounds like something Correll will do, will do. 0:09:53.960 --> 0:09:55.840 Yeah, he's very fancy. 0:09:55.480 --> 0:09:59.880 You can, so like you get like the day pass 0:10:00.080 --> 0:10:01.920 what we did. Day pass just gets you access to 0:10:01.960 --> 0:10:04.880 all the spas a Sonnets whatever. But if you want 0:10:04.880 --> 0:10:07.960 like special treatments, that's extra, like massages and things like that. 0:10:09.000 --> 0:10:11.600 But those looked amazing. But it was just such a 0:10:11.679 --> 0:10:13.840 nice day and I had a I had like a 0:10:13.880 --> 0:10:16.360 really busy weekend and I don't know, I just it 0:10:16.400 --> 0:10:19.680 was it was awesome. Would four stars will go back? 0:10:19.760 --> 0:10:23.959 So Joe spot Club, if you're listening, you know, give 0:10:24.000 --> 0:10:27.680 me a discount next time. Yeah, it was awesome. Yeah, 0:10:27.720 --> 0:10:30.040 it was really nice weekend. And uh, I don't know 0:10:30.040 --> 0:10:33.079 about I don't know about you, but before the holidays, 0:10:33.080 --> 0:10:35.240 I feel like work gets more and more intense because 0:10:35.240 --> 0:10:38.120 I feel like I was working this weekend because I 0:10:38.160 --> 0:10:40.319 wanted to get ahead of the short week and I'm 0:10:40.360 --> 0:10:42.680 just like I feel like I am skidding across the 0:10:42.720 --> 0:10:45.040 finish line. Just I'm just I feel like I'm not 0:10:45.080 --> 0:10:46.840 going to relax until I get on the flight to 0:10:46.880 --> 0:10:50.000 Atlanta tomorrow night. I'm just gonna like power through these 0:10:50.000 --> 0:10:53.080 next two days. But I am ready because I cannot 0:10:53.120 --> 0:10:58.360 wait for my dad's cornbread stuffing. I haven't I can't wait. 0:10:58.480 --> 0:11:00.760 This is my first time back in Atlanta for Thanksgiving 0:11:00.800 --> 0:11:03.559 in like nine years. I think. I don't think I've 0:11:03.600 --> 0:11:06.520 been back since college. Yeah, it's been a long time. 0:11:06.600 --> 0:11:09.400 Like in general Atlanta or you mean just for the holidays. 0:11:09.160 --> 0:11:12.560 Boy, for the specific Thanksgiving holiday, yeah, which is my 0:11:12.640 --> 0:11:15.840 favorite food holiday. I'm like, I've gone back the week 0:11:15.920 --> 0:11:18.600 before and like two weeks later, but I haven't been 0:11:18.600 --> 0:11:20.760 back on the actual holiday since college. 0:11:20.800 --> 0:11:24.160 So my mom just texting yesterday was like, so, yeah, Thanksgiving, 0:11:24.200 --> 0:11:24.840 I'm not cooking. 0:11:25.200 --> 0:11:27.520 I was like, wait, what it's canceled? 0:11:29.000 --> 0:11:31.160 I was like wait what? She was like, meanwhile, who 0:11:31.240 --> 0:11:33.760 taught her how to group text talking about I'm tired? 0:11:35.920 --> 0:11:37.679 And I was like, Mommy, like, that's something you tell 0:11:37.720 --> 0:11:40.160 people like the week before, so we can like we 0:11:40.200 --> 0:11:42.559 can like pull it out. She was like, oh, I'll 0:11:42.559 --> 0:11:44.600 figure it out. So and I still expect everybody to 0:11:44.600 --> 0:11:47.160 be at the house with food in hand. So I 0:11:47.240 --> 0:11:50.760 was like, wait, I don't have the time to figure out. 0:11:50.800 --> 0:11:52.800 So I call my favorite so food spot. I'm like, so, 0:11:53.679 --> 0:11:57.960 how much does a full Thanksgiving dinner car? And they 0:11:58.000 --> 0:11:59.680 were like one hundred and five bucks. I'm like, what 0:11:59.679 --> 0:12:02.520 does that come with? They're like a full turkey and 0:12:02.800 --> 0:12:05.120 five sides, and I think like a dessert. I was like, 0:12:05.120 --> 0:12:07.880 really four hundred and five bucks. So I told my sisters, 0:12:07.920 --> 0:12:10.439 everybody have twenty five bucks and they said yes. I'm like, well, 0:12:10.440 --> 0:12:11.400 Thanksgiving is back on. 0:12:13.280 --> 0:12:14.800 Wait what do you gonna eat, miss vegan? 0:12:15.679 --> 0:12:19.200 I know on sides honestly, likely just some side. And 0:12:19.240 --> 0:12:21.640 my mom, even though she said she's not cooking, she's 0:12:21.679 --> 0:12:23.320 going to cook. Like my mom cannot help but cook. 0:12:23.360 --> 0:12:25.320 She just means she doesn't want to do the huge overhaul. 0:12:25.559 --> 0:12:29.000 She'll probably make like like cause Nigeria's we tend to 0:12:29.040 --> 0:12:31.400 have a lot of vegetable dishes, so like she'll probably 0:12:31.440 --> 0:12:33.040 make like two or three of those or whatever. She 0:12:33.080 --> 0:12:34.400 just doesn't want to do, like the root or to 0:12:34.440 --> 0:12:35.200 the tutor, you know. 0:12:35.600 --> 0:12:38.160 I hear that, and I feel like Thanksgiving should be 0:12:38.160 --> 0:12:41.160 a pot look like everyone's sort of break, like, yeah, 0:12:41.200 --> 0:12:43.480 the host does the turkey and the main sides like 0:12:43.480 --> 0:12:45.440 a pumpkin pie and the stuffing and stuff, but then 0:12:45.440 --> 0:12:47.640 everyone else brings stuff. That's what makes it so much fun, 0:12:47.960 --> 0:12:49.320 at least like in my fam. 0:12:49.960 --> 0:12:51.760 Yeah, no, everyone, I told everyone, you know, bring your 0:12:51.800 --> 0:12:53.880 twenty five bucks and then bring whatever side or dessert 0:12:53.920 --> 0:12:55.960 you're going to bring, so we should. We always have 0:12:56.240 --> 0:12:58.600 way more than we need, but at least, like I 0:12:58.679 --> 0:13:00.880 know that the main step is done, you know. 0:13:01.000 --> 0:13:03.920 So I'm like, Okay, my dad speaking of more than 0:13:03.960 --> 0:13:06.160 you need. Every year, at least when I was growing up. 0:13:06.360 --> 0:13:09.559 He probably still does this, but every year after Thanksgiving 0:13:09.559 --> 0:13:12.920 he takes he like wraps up plates of leftover food 0:13:12.960 --> 0:13:15.480 and he'll just go under the highway overpasses, I mean 0:13:16.200 --> 0:13:20.040 male privilege, right, and just drop off bags to homeless people. 0:13:21.160 --> 0:13:23.400 He used to take me with him, and I'd be like, oh, Dad, no, 0:13:23.600 --> 0:13:25.520 I don't know, but you know, you grow up, you 0:13:25.559 --> 0:13:27.560 start to respect your parents' quirky habits. 0:13:27.920 --> 0:13:29.240 Yeah, no, that's awesome. 0:13:30.480 --> 0:13:33.600 Yeah yeah, I'm really excited. And then and it started. 0:13:33.640 --> 0:13:36.840 I'm starting to feel like Chrimas time, I'm already having 0:13:36.840 --> 0:13:39.319 the argument with my siblings, like are we gonna do gifts? No, 0:13:39.360 --> 0:13:41.360 we're not going to do gifts. Someone wants to do gifts. 0:13:41.880 --> 0:13:44.680 Somebody wants to do white Elephant, Like we're going through 0:13:44.679 --> 0:13:50.800 that whole situation right now, but any day now Christmas time, Yeah, I. 0:13:50.760 --> 0:13:52.959 Think we're gonna do I sign up for the one 0:13:52.960 --> 0:13:55.160 that you suggested last year, draw names or something. 0:13:55.559 --> 0:13:58.360 Yeah, there's a bunch of those like name drawing sites. 0:13:58.920 --> 0:14:02.120 I love it until you've shared that site. So for 0:14:02.120 --> 0:14:04.120 those of you who were like, what's that? So Mandy 0:14:04.120 --> 0:14:06.200 told me about the site last year, I think it was. 0:14:06.720 --> 0:14:08.960 I think it was originally called Secret Santa or something, 0:14:09.000 --> 0:14:11.360 but it ends up really being the site called draw 0:14:11.480 --> 0:14:14.600 names dot com. Totally free. So if you do like 0:14:14.640 --> 0:14:17.120 that kind of the gift exchange where you choose one 0:14:17.160 --> 0:14:19.400 person out of a group and that kind of thing, 0:14:19.440 --> 0:14:21.920 it's great because you put in your budget like whatever 0:14:21.960 --> 0:14:23.680 it is, like the gift can't be more than twenty 0:14:23.680 --> 0:14:26.680 five dollars, and then everyone puts in their name and 0:14:26.720 --> 0:14:29.160 their email and like three gifts or whatever that they'd like. 0:14:30.560 --> 0:14:32.400 So you've got to choose, and then the thing, the 0:14:33.080 --> 0:14:36.200 program or their website for free will send you your person, 0:14:36.320 --> 0:14:38.960 like you've got Karen, and here's the three things she'd like, 0:14:39.000 --> 0:14:41.440 and here's the general budget, like so you pick a 0:14:41.440 --> 0:14:44.320 budget overall for everyone. So it's awesome because my sisters 0:14:44.360 --> 0:14:46.200 and I used to do it every year anyway, but 0:14:46.440 --> 0:14:48.280 we would literally pick names out of a bowl and 0:14:48.280 --> 0:14:50.080 then I would always forget like, wait, who's my person? 0:14:52.520 --> 0:14:55.680 So every year I forget and so I just remember 0:14:55.760 --> 0:14:57.840 because draw Names just actually emailed me like it's that 0:14:57.920 --> 0:14:59.800 kind of year again. I was like, look at draw. 0:14:59.680 --> 0:15:03.080 Name, Oh so good marketing. 0:15:03.480 --> 0:15:05.640 Exactly, and then two, what's so awesome you could say 0:15:06.040 --> 0:15:07.960 you can actually put in there. Make sure you don't 0:15:07.960 --> 0:15:09.960 get the person from last year. You're like, look at Johnny, 0:15:09.960 --> 0:15:12.160 I don't even remember who I had last year, you know. 0:15:13.320 --> 0:15:16.560 So yeah, I'm excited to see like my niece, my nephew, 0:15:16.920 --> 0:15:19.560 my mom, my dad, my sisters, and of course Hobby 0:15:19.600 --> 0:15:21.400 is gonna come, and then we're gonna my mom always 0:15:21.440 --> 0:15:23.840 has an early dinner like three, I don't know why, 0:15:23.920 --> 0:15:26.000 and then we're going to go to his sisters afterwards 0:15:26.000 --> 0:15:28.080 and spend, you know, spend the rest of the evening there. 0:15:28.520 --> 0:15:32.160 So a blended holiday, but now it's weird. I was 0:15:32.200 --> 0:15:33.960 selfish this year for Thanksgiving. I was like, I'm not 0:15:33.960 --> 0:15:35.560 seeing any other family. I just want to see my 0:15:35.600 --> 0:15:38.520 immediate family. I'm not like cause you know, like I 0:15:38.560 --> 0:15:40.120 don't know. Growing up, I was always going to like 0:15:40.120 --> 0:15:42.280 different houses and different things, and it's just I just 0:15:42.320 --> 0:15:44.200 want to park it and just be somewhere and I 0:15:44.320 --> 0:15:47.360 have to be in traffic driving all over the city. 0:15:47.560 --> 0:15:51.040 But for Christmas, we are doing first of all, wire 0:15:51.080 --> 0:15:55.280 flights to Minneapolis, like nine hundred dollars for two people. Ridiculous. 0:15:55.440 --> 0:15:57.400 I don't know, You're not are you? You're not traveling 0:15:57.400 --> 0:15:57.880 for Christmas? 0:15:57.920 --> 0:15:59.600 Are you no favorites New Jersey? 0:16:00.480 --> 0:16:03.240 I'm telling Christmas on a weekend is the worst because 0:16:03.280 --> 0:16:05.960 like first year, have the first waymie of like, it's 0:16:05.960 --> 0:16:08.400 the holiday, so tickets are always more expensive, but I 0:16:08.440 --> 0:16:10.640 think the fact that it falls on a weekend just 0:16:10.720 --> 0:16:13.880 made everything so much more expensive. Like last year, I 0:16:13.920 --> 0:16:16.280 bought tickets to visit my mom for Christmas and they 0:16:16.320 --> 0:16:18.280 were less than three hundred dollars each, and this year 0:16:18.320 --> 0:16:21.880 it was four fifty apiece. So I was like, and 0:16:22.040 --> 0:16:24.920 I could have gone to Europe, but yeah, right, I 0:16:24.920 --> 0:16:29.520 guess I'll go to Minneapolis instead. Yeah, out out out. 0:16:30.000 --> 0:16:32.280 And then they have those basic economy seats which they 0:16:32.280 --> 0:16:34.520 don't even like do you have you ever gotten basic 0:16:34.520 --> 0:16:38.120 economy by accident? Yes, it's the worst. You can't bring 0:16:38.160 --> 0:16:41.120 a carry on, like, you don't get to choose your seat. 0:16:42.440 --> 0:16:43.720 I don't think it's. 0:16:43.400 --> 0:16:46.320 Guarantee the middle You're like, they're like, well, you're guaranteed 0:16:46.320 --> 0:16:48.480 the middle, and I'm like, honestly, the airlines are trash 0:16:49.040 --> 0:16:51.640 and they're getting trash here by the day, so pray 0:16:51.680 --> 0:16:55.320 for your right. I know. It's like, uh, because you're looking, 0:16:55.360 --> 0:16:58.280 I'm like, so wait, there's actually lower than low. 0:16:58.440 --> 0:16:58.600 Oh. 0:16:58.880 --> 0:17:04.920 Thanks, guaranteed middle guaranteed, no outlet guaranteed. 0:17:04.359 --> 0:17:08.280 Like guaranteed to board last. So everyone can just you know, 0:17:08.440 --> 0:17:12.320 watch everyone go before you. Yeah, I'm done. I'm like, okay, 0:17:12.359 --> 0:17:15.480 I'll spend the extra forty bucks to not feel like 0:17:15.680 --> 0:17:21.240 second rate, third rate, fifth rate. Yeah, a lot of days. 0:17:21.520 --> 0:17:24.560 What else is happening? Christy Tiagan and John Legend are 0:17:24.560 --> 0:17:28.600 having a baby, another one. They're allowed to have them 0:17:28.600 --> 0:17:29.520 as many as they want. 0:17:29.760 --> 0:17:31.600 Yeah, No, I love that because I know that they 0:17:31.600 --> 0:17:32.879 were having a hard time before. 0:17:32.920 --> 0:17:35.520 You know, oh I remember that. Yeah, when she like 0:17:35.600 --> 0:17:37.480 cried she had a didn't wait, she used to have 0:17:37.480 --> 0:17:40.119 a TV show or something, and she like cried talking 0:17:40.160 --> 0:17:43.640 about what how did they do? Were they like doing 0:17:43.640 --> 0:17:45.880 in vitro or something? I forget I. 0:17:45.800 --> 0:17:48.880 Think so, And honestly, they she just was having such 0:17:48.880 --> 0:17:50.879 a hard time. I remember she talked about that everyone 0:17:50.880 --> 0:17:52.560 want to feel like when you guys gonna have kids, 0:17:52.640 --> 0:17:54.520 and she said that it'd always break her heart because 0:17:54.520 --> 0:17:57.080 they were trying. And you know, people think like, well, 0:17:57.080 --> 0:17:59.480 you don't have kids. You know, sometimes it's because you 0:17:59.520 --> 0:18:02.320 just don't want, but sometimes there are literally women who've 0:18:02.359 --> 0:18:04.359 been trying for years. So when you're like, so you're 0:18:04.400 --> 0:18:06.480 in your huschood, I'm not gonna have kids, You're like, oh, thanks, 0:18:06.520 --> 0:18:10.280 because you know I've been trying, but for some reason, 0:18:10.440 --> 0:18:14.080 I'm not able. So like, especially now that I'm like older, 0:18:14.160 --> 0:18:16.680 now that we're trying and we're having a hard time, 0:18:17.440 --> 0:18:19.920 that like I'm more sensitive to that because you know, 0:18:20.000 --> 0:18:21.680 it seemed like such an innocent question, like, oh, you 0:18:21.720 --> 0:18:23.880 guys gonna have kids? What are you waiting on? 0:18:24.119 --> 0:18:26.720 Like h and it's the holidays coming up? So you know, 0:18:26.760 --> 0:18:29.639 any any single women out there? This is this is 0:18:29.640 --> 0:18:33.000 our dreaded I mean I just said hour, but you're dreaded. 0:18:33.920 --> 0:18:35.879 It was mine too. Last year, it was what's the 0:18:35.880 --> 0:18:37.840 wedding coming up? What you got planned? It's always something. 0:18:37.880 --> 0:18:39.119 Now it's are you gonna have a baby? When you 0:18:39.200 --> 0:18:42.040 gonna have a baby? Yes, just women in general. Man, 0:18:42.160 --> 0:18:44.800 I'm like, can you talk to my husband? Here's his phone, number. 0:18:45.359 --> 0:18:47.160 He's right over there on the couch. Go go ask 0:18:47.240 --> 0:18:53.360 him these questions. Oh, awkward family, awkward family holiday talks exactly. 0:18:53.560 --> 0:18:54.520 It's exciting for them. 0:18:55.520 --> 0:18:57.800 No, it is exciting, and I'm happy for her. I'm 0:18:57.800 --> 0:18:59.359 just glad my mom started to cut out because we 0:18:59.440 --> 0:19:01.720 used to do these huge family gatherings where it was 0:19:01.800 --> 0:19:04.119 like whose house it was like maybe five families, we 0:19:04.160 --> 0:19:06.960 would rotate houses. But the last couple of Thanksgiving it's 0:19:06.960 --> 0:19:09.919 been really small, which I like, it's just literally my sister's, 0:19:09.920 --> 0:19:13.160 my mom and my dad and then sometimes an auxiliary 0:19:13.240 --> 0:19:15.800