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Speaker 1: Nice to meet you, Nice to meet me. I feel

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Speaker 1: like I know you?

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Speaker 2: How many times have I been on your TV show?

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Speaker 1: That's what I was thinking this morning. This is so crazy.

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Speaker 1: I was walking This is the honest truth. I was

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Speaker 1: walking downstairs and I'm like, why do I feel like

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Speaker 1: I know her? I feel like we've been together? And

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Speaker 1: then I said to myself, I had this thought. I said,

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Speaker 1: was she on my talk show? And then like, now

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Speaker 1: I'm going to say that today I had this like

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Speaker 1: foreshadowing about this happening. You are on the show. What

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Speaker 1: do we do for three times?

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Speaker 2: I literally my book mob Whie and Me and Big.

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Speaker 1: That's why it's okay. This is funny too, because they

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Speaker 1: printed out papers for you today and I was like,

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Speaker 1: there's a lot more in my head I knew. I

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Speaker 1: was like, she created the show. And I said to myself,

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Speaker 1: why do I know that? I'm like, she's different than

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Speaker 1: the others. Not to be no, I am, you know, disrespectful.

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Speaker 1: I was like, because she created the show. But I

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Speaker 1: said to myself, why do I know that? And it's

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Speaker 1: really weird my memory lately, and that please, no disrespect

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Speaker 1: because I would never lie and pretend that, like I remember,

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Speaker 1: I remember everything, but I don't like remember remember does

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Speaker 1: that make any sense?

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Speaker 2: Like, yeah, it's cold, we're getting a little bit more mature.

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Speaker 1: Well no, yes, and the pots this thing that i've

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Speaker 1: had is autoimmune. Like they say that there's like this

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Speaker 1: like since the vaccine in the pandemic, there's a memory thing.

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Speaker 1: But like, I literally knew all these things about you.

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Speaker 1: And I said, why do I know that? I thought

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Speaker 1: I saw it on another show. I swear to God,

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Speaker 1: I thought I heard it, but I don't watch.

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Speaker 2: Him any Yeah, my sister Jennifer created the show.

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Speaker 1: Oh okay, I thought you created the show.

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Speaker 2: Okay, that's the star and it's no disrespect, but I

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Speaker 2: really don't care about the other women anymore.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, No, but we had this conversation. But you're

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Speaker 1: saying it was on my talk show.

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Speaker 2: We I was on. Yeah, I have pictures of us.

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Speaker 2: It's actually on my Instagram of me and you holding

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Speaker 2: my book playing with fire, and then I was on

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Speaker 2: with Alicia and Natalie, and then me and Benny Guarino

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Speaker 2: made meat balls for my cookbook as well.

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Speaker 1: You have a you have a ridiculous memory. Because I

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Speaker 1: was going through the worst divorce and that was like

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Speaker 1: all a blur and I've had this, you know, not

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Speaker 1: the first time this has happened. I literally don't remember

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Speaker 1: a lot. So anyway, anyway, I know you, but like

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Speaker 1: I've never seen you socially outside of the show. Have

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Speaker 1: I ever seen you at a party? Because I feel

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Speaker 1: like I know you.

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Speaker 2: We've been at like maybe one or two, like okay,

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Speaker 2: magazine parties like that, but it's always quick.

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Speaker 1: Stuff, you know, okay, because I feel like I don't

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Speaker 1: know why I feel like I know you. It's exactly

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Speaker 1: And I wore something that I thought would be mob

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Speaker 1: wives appropriate. But yes, you are least well the least

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Speaker 1: of you is mob wise and we've talked about that

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Speaker 1: before and and as you just mentioned, but I know

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Speaker 1: about that, and we talked about the show and we

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Speaker 1: could get into that. And but I called you because

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Speaker 1: of your story and work you're doing and being vocal

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Speaker 1: about something that many people aren't vocal about and that

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Speaker 1: people have shame about. And I was reading through the

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Speaker 1: papers on you, and I was thinking of Steve Madden

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Speaker 1: telling me the addiction is your life, like read my

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Speaker 1: sobriety is my life, he said, like it's before my

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Speaker 1: kids it's before my job, it's before my money, before

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Speaker 1: my company. Like that's a big statement. Nobody will ever

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Speaker 1: admit that something comes before their kids, you know. And

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Speaker 1: Steve Madden said that his sobriety comes before his kids.

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Speaker 1: And so when I just read a headline because I

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Speaker 1: didn't know this, I just like stopped my tracks. Like

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Speaker 1: what she was She almost died. She was dead of

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Speaker 1: a fen and all overdose. Like that's a massively like jarring,

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Speaker 1: shocking headline to read.

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Speaker 2: So with that being said, your recovery has to come

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Speaker 2: before everything. It's God. And then so yeah, it actually

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Speaker 2: and it isn't very embarrassing.

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Speaker 1: For me to tell it is or it's not.

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Speaker 2: No, I how could somebody not be embarrassed of the

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Speaker 2: fact that they got a bag of fentanyl which was

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Speaker 2: supposed to be cocaine. And I'm very honest about it.

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Speaker 2: And then I have the text messages between the person

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Speaker 2: that was sent there and he said it in the message,

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Speaker 2: oh my god, because.

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Speaker 1: It wait, what does that mean? Well go back to that,

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Speaker 1: because I know someone this happened to their kids. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna tell you a story after But what are you

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Speaker 1: saying now?

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Speaker 2: So, when I was in Florida. I had text a

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Speaker 2: girlfriend of mine. I said, hey, handle this for me. Okay,

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Speaker 2: I vouch for the kid. Don't worry about it.

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Speaker 1: The kids, you're saying. You said to her, get the stuff,

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Speaker 1: and she said, I know the guy. It's a good

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Speaker 1: and which is so it doesn't matter because the guy

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Speaker 1: has a guy as a guy, right.

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Speaker 2: Right, But it normally does matter. So and okay, because

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Speaker 2: nobody usually makes a mistake like that.

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Speaker 1: So with that, But they're not in the CA kitchen.

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Speaker 1: How would they know is something coming from.

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Speaker 2: That's what they do?

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Speaker 1: Oh, okay, they're living.

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Speaker 2: But okay, is this I didn't speak to anybody for

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Speaker 2: so it happened when I was in a restaurant, and

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Speaker 2: I don't I don't have recollection of three days. But

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Speaker 2: somebody was with me, so I know what happened. They

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Speaker 2: brought like in a bathroom. You're saying, I guess so

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Speaker 2: because I wasn't at the table for that second. I

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Speaker 2: came back to the table, I made a phone call,

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Speaker 2: told my friend to send her friends. She sent her friends.

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Speaker 2: When I had odeed in the restaurant. He had text

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Speaker 2: her and I have the messages because she sent them

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Speaker 2: to me. Afterwards. So that's how I know what happened.

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Speaker 2: I gave her a bag of blank by accident. I

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Speaker 2: have the whole conversation.

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Speaker 1: Holy motherfuck, because I died right there in front.

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Speaker 2: Of them in the restaurant.

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Speaker 1: Holy fuck.

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Speaker 2: Table and my girlfriend, who was a course from me.

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Speaker 1: Like, there's a bag of that that they mix into

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Speaker 1: other shit that they accidentally gave you. What the fuck?

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Speaker 1: But a whole bag would be you'd be dead instantly.

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Speaker 2: What I don't understand I was, I'm.

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Speaker 1: Touching it or doing it.

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Speaker 2: I'm assuming I did it. Okay, okay, because I can't

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Speaker 2: tell you that nobody was in the bathroom with me,

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Speaker 2: but I know addiction and I know me. So with

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Speaker 2: that being said, I walked back.

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Speaker 1: You had it, you went to go do it. The

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Speaker 1: fact that my brain I can't remember you and you

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Speaker 1: are remembering all of it is crazy. But okay, wow, okay.

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Speaker 2: Table, and I keeled over and died.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, that was it.

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Speaker 2: And the girl in the restaurant broke four ribs and

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Speaker 2: fractured my sternum in two places, reviving me.

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Speaker 1: And and did they have narakan in the restaurant?

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Speaker 2: No, she did it with her hands.

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Speaker 1: That's insane.

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Speaker 2: I'm in ems gets there. They hit me with the

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Speaker 2: with the shot. The conversation with the kid is, oh

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Speaker 2: my god, Gina, I sent this. I gave this to

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Speaker 2: her by accident. The cops are here, So the cops

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Speaker 2: were there. Every the kid gotten whatever trouble, not by me.

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Speaker 2: I would not rest charges at all. I prefer to

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Speaker 2: have his hands broken. But that's me and my mob

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Speaker 2: wife's thinking. But that. They took me to the hospital,

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Speaker 2: and when I was intribated, I went into cardiac arrest.

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Speaker 2: So I was already intribated and went into cardiac arrest.

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Speaker 2: What mean, you're in a like a coma? So they

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Speaker 2: put a coma so they I don't actually know why

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Speaker 2: they do that. I'm assuming the OD was so severe.

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Speaker 2: I wasn't there, like I wasn't here, you know.

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Speaker 1: Oh, meaning it's it's an induced they put you there.

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Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, so you're intubated. And while I was interurbated,

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Speaker 2: I went into cardiac arrest on top of it, which

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Speaker 2: normally doesn't happen. From that, I got pneumonia. And I

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Speaker 2: had gotten that vaccine two years ago, and I've had

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Speaker 2: pneumonia twice since then. And then they had to like

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Speaker 2: give me a walker and like I had to go

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Speaker 2: up and down.

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Speaker 1: And how long ago was this?

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Speaker 2: September eighteenth, six months ago?

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Speaker 1: Holy shit, how are you?

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Speaker 2: I'm amazing. I wasn't supposed to make it. They told

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Speaker 2: my family, she's not going to make it through the night.

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Speaker 2: And three days later I woke up and I was like,

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Speaker 2: get me out of here, and they were like, do

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Speaker 2: you know what happened? And I'm like, absolutely not what happened?

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Speaker 2: And they broke it down to me and I was like, no,

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Speaker 2: that's impossible. I don't do those drugs. And the doctor

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Speaker 2: was like, oh, no, you did. And I go but

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Speaker 2: I don't said no one said you did. But it

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Speaker 2: was mixed.

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Speaker 1: And now I have a I know someone whose son,

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Speaker 1: a person, their son had a baby and the wife

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Speaker 1: babies a couple months old and for whatever, maybe six

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Speaker 1: months old, I think it was six months old, and

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Speaker 1: the two of them, my husband and wife, were home

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Speaker 1: with the baby and they guess they just wanted to

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Speaker 1: have a little fun and they ordered coke to to

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Speaker 1: the to the house and they both dropped out and

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Speaker 1: the baby was alone crying for like twenty four hours.

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Speaker 1: The father they died.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I think parents. Yeah, okay, so they oh deed

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Speaker 2: with death? Yeah wow.

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Speaker 1: And I and I've had experience with this also with people,

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Speaker 1: and it's amazing that smart together people like you have

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Speaker 1: a different perspective on life. Like I don't have that

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Speaker 1: as much as you. But I had a severe anaphylactic

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Speaker 1: shock situation that I was unconscious and I was in

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Speaker 1: the icee I see you for a couple of days,

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Speaker 1: and it was brutal and like I could in the

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Speaker 1: background when I was coming to hear the doctors freaking

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Speaker 1: out about sixty over forty blood pressure and like, why

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Speaker 1: were there all these people? And frankly, I thought it

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Speaker 1: was because, like I don't know, I thought it was

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Speaker 1: because it was me, Like a lot of people were

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Speaker 1: like they got a couple of extra attention. I didn't

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Speaker 1: realize it was because I was dying in the hospital. So, like,

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Speaker 1: I know what that is, like not as much as

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Speaker 1: what you're talking about, but that's a that changes your

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Speaker 1: perspective on life. It changes you as a person, Like

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Speaker 1: it's it it escalates the I don't give a fuck,

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Speaker 1: but not an angry way.

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Speaker 2: So let me say that I bo died before this

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Speaker 2: isn't my first time. When my father died in nineteen

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Speaker 2: I I didn't, I couldn't. I didn't want to live.

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Speaker 2: I felt like my twin died. I felt this connection

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Speaker 2: with my father, way different than my sisters. He was

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Speaker 2: like my twin. We look alike, we act alike, we're

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Speaker 2: giving a like. We want to do everything for everybody

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Speaker 2: else some and we forget about ourselves. My father was

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Speaker 2: a great man. I don't care what anybody has to say.

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Speaker 2: He was a great man. He rescued a family out

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Speaker 2: of a burning building, He saved a girl drowning. In

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Speaker 2: prospect part, my father was really a good man. He

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Speaker 2: paid for my best friend's mother's funeral because she had

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Speaker 2: no money. So in spite of what he did for

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Speaker 2: a living, he was a good man. Which I'm very

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Speaker 2: much like my dad.

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Speaker 1: But you're saying two things can be true at the

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Speaker 1: same time. Absolutely, yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 2: So I mean, look at Steve Madden. Yeah, pay with

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Speaker 2: my father. He's a good man, right, he got sober,

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Speaker 2: you know, and he's a strong individual. So yeah, you

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Speaker 2: could be a bad guy and a good guy at

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Speaker 2: the same time. People make mistakes. You know, you don't

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Speaker 2: know who you are you start out at life, You

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Speaker 2: know what I mean? It takes years to get where

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Speaker 2: you're going, And for me, it took a lot more

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Speaker 2: than the average person because I had low self esteem

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Speaker 2: from a child. So I was born very ill. Wasn't

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Speaker 2: supposed to live. They drew spinal fluid at least five

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Speaker 2: or six times for the first six month of my birth.

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Speaker 2: So what we're learning now is that spinal fluid that

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Speaker 2: was drained for me probably screwed up my psyche. And

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Speaker 2: you know then it was I grew up in the

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Speaker 2: mob with a boss as a father. People were dying

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Speaker 2: left and right. Who's going to jail? I played it

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Speaker 2: up like, Oh, we have another funeral. Oh I'm gonna

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Speaker 2: wear this black dress with that fur coat. That's not normal,

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Speaker 2: That's not what I know.

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Speaker 1: I grew up at the racetrack with a lot of ties,

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Speaker 1: and I grew up going and sitting at the crabs

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Speaker 1: table at thirteen years old for weeks in Vegas and

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Speaker 1: growing to nightclubs at the Rafters in Saratoga and fourteen

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Speaker 1: like I get it, I really know it.

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Speaker 2: Campaign and cocaine. That's the way I grew up. I

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Speaker 2: grew up in the heyday goods villain.

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Speaker 1: No and no money than all the money, all the

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Speaker 1: cars in the driveway, then no money next week ever

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Speaker 1: you're in the Yeah. My stepfather, John Paracel used to

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Speaker 1: come in and tell me the bookies after him, and

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Speaker 1: I would and I broke open my piggy back literally

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Speaker 1: to give him cash. Like, but we had Mercedes in

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Speaker 1: the driveway and a card table literally no furniture, but

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Speaker 1: a Jaguar and a Mercedes in the driveway, and then

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Speaker 1: that got taken away. I get it. It's like ridiculous.

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Speaker 1: He was very connected. Joe Scandor, he was his uncle,

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Speaker 1: and Jimmy Kam was sleeping on his couch and they

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Speaker 1: were doing drug. Yeah, uncle James. Okay, so my stepfather

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Speaker 1: and Jimmy Kahn were like boys and doing blow together.

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Speaker 2: Now my father and my uncle, because that was like the.

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Speaker 1: Clip Ponti's yeah, John PEPs.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, my uncle owns Splash in California, which was

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Speaker 2: the first nightclub in Malibo. And oh, my other uncle

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Speaker 2: owned Frankie's Frankie's on Melroads. My uncle was Frank Martin,

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Speaker 2: the horse trainer, Like so I know, I.

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Speaker 1: Know Frank Martin.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he had my auntrew the.

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Speaker 1: Father, and the son Frank Martin, and then Jose Martin.

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Speaker 2: Okay, but the other son, Frank Martin, who he just disrecurbed,

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Speaker 2: he died.

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Speaker 1: Oh wow. Okay, So we know a lot of the

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Speaker 1: same people because a lot of people don't know this

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Speaker 1: part of my life. And it affects my relationships too,

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Speaker 1: because in relationships with normal people, it's hard. When you

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Speaker 1: grew up like you know, on a wild car chase,

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Speaker 1: it's very difficult. You're an action junkie. So you were

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Speaker 1: a junkie junkie. Without using a bad word, I'm just saying, like, so,

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Speaker 1: let's get into that, all right. So you grew up

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Speaker 1: and you were sick and your your father died and

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Speaker 1: like so, so you had a proclivity to highs and lows.

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Speaker 2: All right, let's pull that. I was a mob junkie.

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Speaker 1: Okay.

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Speaker 2: I hate that word more than right in the world.

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Speaker 1: I say action junkie, but it's a bad word. It's

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Speaker 1: a junkie word. It's a junk word. I get it.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I'm actually trying to change the perspective behind it,

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Speaker 2: because a doctor could be one, a lawyer could be one.

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Speaker 2: The lawyer that you're calling the bail you out could

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Speaker 2: be sort and dope in the big Oh.

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Speaker 1: Of course, it's a stigma. And I agree with you.

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Speaker 1: I was saying action junkie, but I yeah, I agree.

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Speaker 1: I agree because there's a shame there that you want

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Speaker 1: to stigmatize.

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Speaker 2: And you know, a shout out to Richard Tate from

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Speaker 2: the Carrera Treatment Center in Malibu. I just took a

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Speaker 2: job with him. And now, yeah, he started Cliffside Malibu,

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Speaker 2: so I took a job with him yesterday.

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Speaker 1: You know, I got crying.

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Speaker 2: Podcasts helping people, so I'm going to have to interview you, yes,

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Speaker 2: And it's just a way for me to give back.

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Speaker 2: And I didn't realize when I did my interview with

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Speaker 2: Bunny that it was going to blow up. But it's

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Speaker 2: been viral for the last five days. Every time she

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Speaker 2: drops a clip, it goes viral. Really, Cardi b video

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Speaker 2: she posted it viral. It's like all of a sudden,

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Speaker 2: God said, Okay, I got my hands on you this time,

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Speaker 2: but you're gonna be out there in the public, so

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Speaker 2: do what you need to do to save a life.

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Speaker 2: Just know people are gonna hate you, people are gonna

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Speaker 2: love you. But at the end of the day. My

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Speaker 2: prerogative is to save somebody. Because somebody saved me.

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Speaker 1: You have purpose, You have purpose. How there's so much

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Speaker 1: to go through. So lamar Odom and Jason Waller from

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Speaker 1: the Hills, that's interesting too, using your reality television career

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Speaker 1: and fame and connections to these other people who have

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Speaker 1: gone through a similar horrendous experience.

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Speaker 2: So Jason helped me out. And I had had plastic surgery,

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Speaker 2: so I had to go back on paying meds and

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Speaker 2: that was that was two years ago. That wasn't acceptable,

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Speaker 2: But Jason and Janah Woodbury did everything for me this

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Speaker 2: time around. It was November two and I was sitting

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Speaker 2: in a hotel. I had a friend who I was

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Speaker 2: fighting with my whole family.

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Speaker 1: So she's like, after you got after you almost died,

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Speaker 1: you're talking about it a couple of months ago.

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Speaker 2: Okay, October, Tom, move here with me. Nobody in my

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Speaker 2: family wanted to be bothered with me. So whatever money

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Speaker 2: I had had went into a trust for my BRANDK

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Speaker 2: and so I had no access to money.

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Speaker 1: So who are you did that? You intervened in your

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Speaker 1: own life and did that.

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Speaker 2: It handles everything.

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Speaker 1: You've given power of finances away.

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Speaker 2: Power of attorney. I trust my sister with my whole life.

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Speaker 2: So whatever, And it wasn't much, Bethany, because all the

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Speaker 2: those years on television, I gave everything away. Here take this, here,

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Speaker 2: take I left nothing for myself. I didn't even buy

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Speaker 2: a house. Why. I don't know. Maybe I felt like

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Speaker 2: the money wasn't gonna run out. They were also paying

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Speaker 2: for all of my housing, so you know, why am

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Speaker 2: I going to spend more money?

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Speaker 1: But I was paying who the show is paying for housing? Yes,

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Speaker 1: oh that was a good show.

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Speaker 2: Well, my sister is the executive producer. My father threw

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Speaker 2: me out. I couldn't. My father didn't talk to me

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Speaker 2: for two years. I had nowhere to go. What was

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Speaker 2: I gonna do? And here I am giving them a

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Speaker 2: bigger story than anybody, aside from Karen Gravano because her

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Speaker 2: story was extremely huge. I love Karen. You know. I

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Speaker 2: talked to everybody, but Drida put it that way. Everybody.

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Speaker 2: But anyway, Drida did an interview and said, now that Renee,

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Speaker 2: well my wife was just coming back. Now that Renee's

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Speaker 2: father is dead, who is she gonna be? Don't play

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Speaker 2: with me and don't ever talk about my father in

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Speaker 2: any way. Shape or form. So there is no respect

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Speaker 2: for that girl whatsoever. She's called me a junkie more

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Speaker 2: times than necessary, no respect none.

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Speaker 1: More times than necessary. Is an interesting way to praise

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00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:18,280
Speaker 1: something Like you're saying you gave grace to like your mistakes,

365
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Speaker 1: but there's more times than necessary.

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Speaker 2: All the stuff you would do in the cloud did so.

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Speaker 2: Now you want to air me out. Okay, so you

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Speaker 2: want to You want me to hide your truths. Well

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Speaker 2: you tell me you hide your truths while you speak.

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry you want to speak my truths and I

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Speaker 2: hide your lives. Not acceptable anymore in my life. Not acceptable.

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Speaker 2: If you burn me, be prepared not to be able

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Speaker 2: to walk across that bridge because you burnt it.

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Speaker 1: But what it feels like you're still you're not being

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Speaker 1: paid for the show. Now you're still living that story

376
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Speaker 1: in the show. Who cares about anybody that you like to?

377
00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:58,639
Speaker 1: Haven't you? I don't get paid for that, That's what

378
00:19:58,640 --> 00:20:00,920
Speaker 1: I'm saying. But I'm feeling like you're still in the conflict.

379
00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:02,399
Speaker 1: Like the way that I feel about women on the

380
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Speaker 1: show that I used to be is like go be happy,

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00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:08,000
Speaker 1: be successful, Like everybody has a reason for why they are.

382
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Speaker 1: The way they are and who care? What do you

383
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Speaker 1: care about what anyone else is doing? It keeps coming up.

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Speaker 2: People just keep dragging me and dragging me.

385
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Speaker 1: And but the more you talk, yeah, I get it,

386
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Speaker 1: but just like what.

387
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Speaker 2: It's not all the women. Most of the women still

388
00:20:21,119 --> 00:20:24,480
Speaker 2: call me and you know they send love. I just

389
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Speaker 2: feel like, why are you mad? My sister put us

390
00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:31,080
Speaker 2: all in this position to earn a tremendous amount of money.

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Speaker 2: Why are you mad? What did I do? Actually? I

392
00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:38,400
Speaker 2: hit it with your lives? So what did I actually do? Oh?

393
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Speaker 2: I told you the truth about yourself?

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Speaker 1: Sorry, do you have any interact? Where do you live?

395
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Speaker 1: Where do you live?

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Speaker 2: I just moved to California? So back to Because in

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Speaker 2: all honesty, let me say this. There is a bitter

398
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Speaker 2: feeling there. But she's not supposed to hold weight in

399
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Speaker 2: my life. But it's very hurtful. So this isn't about her.

400
00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:01,960
Speaker 2: It's about the hurt it's about them.

401
00:21:02,119 --> 00:21:07,159
Speaker 1: It's funny because my therapist says, and it's really interesting

402
00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:10,280
Speaker 1: you're dealing If you're dealing with something, you'll describe the

403
00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:13,199
Speaker 1: situation like you just describe the situation. But she'll say,

404
00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:15,240
Speaker 1: you know, but like, let's live in the feelings, like

405
00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:17,480
Speaker 1: really like and when you I think if you live

406
00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:19,800
Speaker 1: in the feelings, you might not that you wanted to

407
00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:22,120
Speaker 1: reach out. Maybe she'll reach out and stop or say

408
00:21:22,119 --> 00:21:23,919
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Like if you live in the feelings that

409
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:27,159
Speaker 1: you feel vulnerable in hurt versus like the story of

410
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:29,439
Speaker 1: what's going on, like it.

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Speaker 2: Is never ever allowed back in my life. She never

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Speaker 2: showed up from my father's funeral. You'll cut off. That's

413
00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:38,160
Speaker 2: the That's it for me. But any okay, I'm moving on.

414
00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:41,280
Speaker 2: I wish I do wish her help and wealth, but

415
00:21:41,359 --> 00:21:46,000
Speaker 2: I don't like her. Plain and simple. So November two

416
00:21:46,359 --> 00:21:50,320
Speaker 2: and I was sitting I had just had a fight

417
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Speaker 2: with my friend in Texas. She told my son, please

418
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:58,080
Speaker 2: have all your mother's stuff picked up. I called my son.

419
00:21:58,119 --> 00:22:01,200
Speaker 2: I said, agam done. I can't it anymore. I can't fight.

420
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:04,480
Speaker 2: I'm tired. I said, I'm not going to kill myself.

421
00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:06,919
Speaker 2: I'm Catholic. You know that's the biggest in in the world.

422
00:22:07,119 --> 00:22:10,560
Speaker 2: So is getting high though f y he and I said,

423
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Speaker 2: in case I never seen you again, I want you

424
00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:13,320
Speaker 2: to know how much I love you. He said, MA,

425
00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:16,440
Speaker 2: sit right there. My son got on the phone with

426
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Speaker 2: my dear friend twenty nine, okay, twenty nine with four kids.

427
00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:29,080
Speaker 2: I had twin girls the last and they turned one yesterday.

428
00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:31,679
Speaker 2: So he made the phone poll pulled me back. My

429
00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:35,280
Speaker 2: friend Bill O'Hara got me into recovery unplugged in Texas.

430
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Speaker 2: I went in the next day. My girlfriend got mad

431
00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:40,600
Speaker 2: at me that I didn't help her get her things

432
00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:46,800
Speaker 2: all done and out and robbed everything I owned everything back,

433
00:22:47,680 --> 00:22:51,520
Speaker 2: every pair of shoes, every pocketbook. I swear this on

434
00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:57,400
Speaker 2: my four grandchildren's eyes, every single thing I owned. Everything

435
00:22:57,480 --> 00:22:58,639
Speaker 2: my father left.

436
00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:01,879
Speaker 1: Me because I was going to say, maybe this is

437
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:05,320
Speaker 1: some sign of starting Oh okay, oh the.

438
00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:08,119
Speaker 2: Clothes got me sober. I know that sounds crazy, but

439
00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:11,879
Speaker 2: trust me, I couldn't go out no more so. But

440
00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:16,240
Speaker 2: she robbed my father's tie collection, and that was very

441
00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:19,280
Speaker 2: important to me. That was like wow in him and I.

442
00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:23,160
Speaker 2: My hand blessed rosaries from the Pope, my father met

443
00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:27,640
Speaker 2: two different popes, my Bible from my grandmother, everything that

444
00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:33,639
Speaker 2: meant something to me. Child. Yeah, very evil individual. My

445
00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:35,440
Speaker 2: son was like, all right, I'm gonna have it picked

446
00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:38,199
Speaker 2: up on Friday. She goes stop rising me. She's a

447
00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:40,600
Speaker 2: crazy bitch and played in English fucking crazy. She is

448
00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:47,879
Speaker 2: my mouth crazy. I walked into Detox with my Minx slippers,

449
00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:52,120
Speaker 2: a sweatshirt and sweatpants and that was all I had.

450
00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:56,640
Speaker 2: Oh and I just when she threw my pocketbook out

451
00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:59,679
Speaker 2: the front door. I went to grab it and it

452
00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:01,840
Speaker 2: happened to be my Gucci bag with my adult chain

453
00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:05,000
Speaker 2: Gabana bag in it. Don't ask me one, but she

454
00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:07,760
Speaker 2: stole every pair of eyeglasses I.

455
00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:11,919
Speaker 1: Glass, what how did you afford rehab? Did it?

456
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:15,320
Speaker 2: So? I'm gonna Lamarrow phone call and he said, hey,

457
00:24:16,359 --> 00:24:18,520
Speaker 2: please come to my treatment center. I want to help you.

458
00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:23,119
Speaker 2: So Gina Rodriguez, who's his pr is a dear friend

459
00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:27,200
Speaker 2: of mine. Lamar took care of everything. I walked into

460
00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:33,040
Speaker 2: Vanity Wellness in California, and four months later, I'm sober

461
00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:38,760
Speaker 2: a f I'm happy. I can't understand that thought yet.

462
00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:43,240
Speaker 2: That's a little scary happy scary to me. I thrive

463
00:24:43,320 --> 00:24:47,840
Speaker 2: in chaos. I come from chaos. So you know, when

464
00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:51,840
Speaker 2: they say drama queen, I'm like Max all the way up.

465
00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:54,720
Speaker 2: But that's it wasn't drama to me. It was my

466
00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:58,160
Speaker 2: everyday life. And that's where I get a little frustrated.

467
00:24:58,359 --> 00:25:00,680
Speaker 2: People like you're a drama queen. I'm not. I'm just

468
00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:04,080
Speaker 2: a queen who lived in a life of drama. Big difference.

469
00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:08,600
Speaker 1: And you've been an addict your whole life? How much

470
00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:09,240
Speaker 1: of your life?

471
00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:13,480
Speaker 2: So yeah, when I was younger, I partied, you know,

472
00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:18,800
Speaker 2: I partied. But when I was my ex husband shouted

473
00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:25,560
Speaker 2: my sacrum and he put his elbow through it. Yeah,

474
00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:30,320
Speaker 2: he broke my pain pills phone, he broke my rib like,

475
00:25:30,600 --> 00:25:32,960
Speaker 2: but I would not tell on him because I was

476
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:35,679
Speaker 2: worried that he would be murdered. And for me, that

477
00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:40,120
Speaker 2: was my sin then, so I never and then pain

478
00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:45,919
Speaker 2: meds started thirty six. Oh, I owed deed for the

479
00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:49,480
Speaker 2: first time on July fof in two thousand and seven,

480
00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:55,280
Speaker 2: and three out. My mother didn't want to admit I

481
00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:57,480
Speaker 2: was an addict, so she put me in a seventy

482
00:25:57,520 --> 00:26:01,520
Speaker 2: two hour holdover where I was sexual assaulted by a predator.

483
00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:05,600
Speaker 2: And that really is what changed me forever.

484
00:26:06,359 --> 00:26:06,560
Speaker 1: Oh.

485
00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:11,399
Speaker 2: I spent my thirty seventh birthday in the mental wood

486
00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:14,959
Speaker 2: for three weeks because I lost my mind after I

487
00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:18,119
Speaker 2: was attacked. And I have a police report that blacks

488
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:19,760
Speaker 2: that up with a man admitted it.

489
00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:23,639
Speaker 1: So you've been like medicating to forget since then and

490
00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:24,600
Speaker 1: then you got down a hole.

491
00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:29,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, so medicated zanex. God, friend, I didn't want cocaine.

492
00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:30,440
Speaker 2: I wanted xani.

493
00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:31,480
Speaker 1: Where were you getting it?

494
00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:34,840
Speaker 2: All the doctors made me? It was the doctors.

495
00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:36,719
Speaker 1: No, I know that, but how because I've seen all

496
00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:38,960
Speaker 1: the movies and I'm fascinated by topic because i have

497
00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:43,840
Speaker 1: experience with it personally, Uh not me, but one person apart?

498
00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:47,320
Speaker 1: And did you I did? Did you end up driving

499
00:26:47,359 --> 00:26:49,240
Speaker 1: to other states and go like no?

500
00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:55,720
Speaker 2: I was prescribed? True story two oxy eighties, six rock scenes,

501
00:26:56,040 --> 00:27:08,359
Speaker 2: eight milligrams of xanax, diet pills, water pills, antidepressants, mood stabilizers.

502
00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:10,080
Speaker 2: This is by the doctor's hand.

503
00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:13,159
Speaker 1: That is the why is there any part of the

504
00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:16,280
Speaker 1: addiction and the pills and all of it? That's not

505
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:20,720
Speaker 1: just only the chemical aspect, but like the process, like

506
00:27:20,760 --> 00:27:22,359
Speaker 1: it's like a friend, it's like something to do. It's

507
00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:24,440
Speaker 1: an activity, like let's get this, let's get that, let's

508
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:26,240
Speaker 1: organize it, because no one talks about that, and I

509
00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:28,320
Speaker 1: think that's part of it too, right.

510
00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:31,800
Speaker 2: So I was not an everyday user. Zan x became

511
00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:35,800
Speaker 2: my life for a year straight, That's true. I kickation

512
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:39,639
Speaker 2: in twenty ten. Cocaine always played a part of my

513
00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:43,640
Speaker 2: life always, but not It's like when I was done,

514
00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:46,200
Speaker 2: it was over. I didn't get more. It wasn't like that.

515
00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:48,200
Speaker 2: I party definitely.

516
00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:49,880
Speaker 1: Going out Saturday night. You're getting a bag with friends,

517
00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:51,560
Speaker 1: and it's fun. We're going out. It's like getting a

518
00:27:51,560 --> 00:27:52,160
Speaker 1: bunch of drinks.

519
00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:56,480
Speaker 2: Right. But the zon X took over my life really

520
00:27:57,040 --> 00:28:03,520
Speaker 2: is that I got arrested. Nobody knows that what ovid.

521
00:28:03,680 --> 00:28:05,359
Speaker 2: I had to go to jail for eight days. I

522
00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:06,240
Speaker 2: was devastated.

523
00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:09,199
Speaker 1: You were like, no one's gonna notice because everyone's in

524
00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:09,520
Speaker 1: their home.

525
00:28:10,080 --> 00:28:12,880
Speaker 2: I had twenty three hour lock up. It was supposed

526
00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:15,560
Speaker 2: to be for a twenty twenty four hour thing. When

527
00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:19,160
Speaker 2: I was being released, I had made a phone call.

528
00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:21,439
Speaker 2: I wasn't allowed to pull this person. It was like

529
00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:24,720
Speaker 2: a restraining order because the person was antagonizing me to

530
00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:27,639
Speaker 2: a pall. I'm like, hey, I need my lawyer's number.

531
00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:32,359
Speaker 2: Needless to say, that person was related to me. So

532
00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:35,560
Speaker 2: I made the phone call. And when I was being released,

533
00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:37,880
Speaker 2: they were like, did you call so and So. I go, yeah,

534
00:28:37,920 --> 00:28:40,720
Speaker 2: I needed my lawyer's number. They go, you just violated

535
00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:44,040
Speaker 2: the temporary restraining order. I was like oh no, no, no,

536
00:28:44,120 --> 00:28:46,840
Speaker 2: I did not. That doesn't count. They were like, get

537
00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:52,360
Speaker 2: it done. Eight dated. They kept me bare. I was devastated.

538
00:28:51,800 --> 00:28:53,920
Speaker 1: At a jail.

539
00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:56,200
Speaker 2: It was dirty. It was hewny.

540
00:28:56,320 --> 00:28:58,080
Speaker 1: It sounds like it's jail, so its dirty.

541
00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:04,200
Speaker 2: Yeah. It was mamma count holy shit. And I was like,

542
00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:06,920
Speaker 2: can I have a pillow? They were like no, I said,

543
00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:10,400
Speaker 2: my sheet has a hole? So what Can I donate

544
00:29:10,480 --> 00:29:12,160
Speaker 2: mattresses to the women's prison.

545
00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:16,760
Speaker 1: Absolutely not, So I'm sleeping with the matts taking it.

546
00:29:16,920 --> 00:29:19,959
Speaker 1: That's funny going you go into the mattresses. You went

547
00:29:20,040 --> 00:29:20,840
Speaker 1: to the mattresses.

548
00:29:23,520 --> 00:29:24,040
Speaker 2: Let's do it.

549
00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:28,320
Speaker 1: You went to the mattresses. That's a that's crazy. What

550
00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:31,160
Speaker 1: about your family not coming to the hospital because they

551
00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:32,840
Speaker 1: thought you were dead or because they wrote you off

552
00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:36,000
Speaker 1: and you were dead to them, they well, they're both.

553
00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:38,200
Speaker 2: They weren't going to make it in time because of

554
00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:40,800
Speaker 2: the timing, and they said it you know, by the

555
00:29:40,840 --> 00:29:43,800
Speaker 2: time they got there, it wouldn't have happened. But they

556
00:29:43,840 --> 00:29:47,320
Speaker 2: did write me off. So my sister Jennifer stopped talking

557
00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:48,760
Speaker 2: to me for a year and a half and that

558
00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:52,959
Speaker 2: was my closest relationship. My mother and I were constantly fighting.

559
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:55,720
Speaker 2: My oldest sister and I have always fought, so there's

560
00:29:55,760 --> 00:29:58,920
Speaker 2: a lot of there's a lot of dysfunction in my family.

561
00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:02,160
Speaker 2: My little and I shared a bedroom. We were very close.

562
00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:06,120
Speaker 2: I was my father daddy. I'm fit, daddy's favorite kid.

563
00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:11,040
Speaker 2: I'm the most entitled, I'm all of that. And then

564
00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:14,120
Speaker 2: life just got hotter. I was bullied in grammar school,

565
00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:17,920
Speaker 2: terribly bullied. I was told how ugly I was on

566
00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:22,040
Speaker 2: an everyday basis, so I took that on that became me.

567
00:30:22,560 --> 00:30:25,080
Speaker 2: I was ugly no matter what you said to me.

568
00:30:25,280 --> 00:30:29,520
Speaker 2: I was ugly. I filled it in my heart and soul.

569
00:30:30,320 --> 00:30:33,200
Speaker 2: And you know, I wasn't allowed to wear contacts until

570
00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:35,680
Speaker 2: freshman year or a high school. My mother gave me

571
00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:38,240
Speaker 2: the worst haircuts in the world. You know all that stuff.

572
00:30:38,560 --> 00:30:39,640
Speaker 1: But I were a disaster.

573
00:30:39,960 --> 00:30:43,360
Speaker 2: I was physically developed, and I was never ugly FYI

574
00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:46,920
Speaker 2: never I know that now, But I was physically developed.

575
00:30:46,920 --> 00:30:49,719
Speaker 2: So all the boys liked me, and the two girls

576
00:30:49,720 --> 00:30:52,760
Speaker 2: that bullied me, they would invite me to boy girl

577
00:30:52,880 --> 00:30:55,960
Speaker 2: parties and send me home because the boys liked me

578
00:30:56,800 --> 00:30:59,120
Speaker 2: so but there was something wrong with me all of

579
00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:03,240
Speaker 2: my life. My first boyfriend, I was like turning fifteen.

580
00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:08,120
Speaker 2: He was physically abusive and that's how it started. He

581
00:31:08,280 --> 00:31:10,560
Speaker 2: ended up my father. I came home with a black

582
00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:13,680
Speaker 2: guy and he said, Rene, what happened to your face?

583
00:31:13,720 --> 00:31:15,640
Speaker 2: I said, oh, I walked into the door. My father goes,

584
00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:19,000
Speaker 2: sit down before you walk into the door again. And

585
00:31:19,040 --> 00:31:20,840
Speaker 2: I sat there and he goes, what happened? And I

586
00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:24,000
Speaker 2: told him. My father made a phone book two phone calls.

587
00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:27,200
Speaker 2: One was to the boyfriend's ex boyfriend's father and the

588
00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:30,040
Speaker 2: other one was to four guys. My father said, get

589
00:31:30,080 --> 00:31:35,040
Speaker 2: in the car. I said, okay, and don't talk. Swear

590
00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:38,040
Speaker 2: to God. True story in the Lincoln downclock. We get

591
00:31:38,080 --> 00:31:40,400
Speaker 2: to our family restaurant. My father goes, go in the

592
00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:43,160
Speaker 2: restaurant and don't go by the window. So what does

593
00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:43,800
Speaker 2: that mean to you?

594
00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:45,520
Speaker 1: What is that I can go by the window?

595
00:31:46,320 --> 00:31:50,440
Speaker 2: Thank you? I watched him have his arm broken. And

596
00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:54,360
Speaker 2: it was that day that I never ever would tell

597
00:31:54,400 --> 00:31:57,000
Speaker 2: on another person again because I felt that was my fault.

598
00:31:57,680 --> 00:32:02,840
Speaker 2: But it wasn't. So now add this all up insecurity, abuse,

599
00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:04,680
Speaker 2: dysfunction in the.

600
00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:08,720
Speaker 1: Household, action, highs and lows, murder.

601
00:32:09,120 --> 00:32:11,920
Speaker 2: My father's in jail, all this stuff. I meet my

602
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:14,760
Speaker 2: ex husband when I'm very young. I was twenty got

603
00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:17,160
Speaker 2: engaged a month and nineteen days after I met him.

604
00:32:17,720 --> 00:32:20,880
Speaker 2: My ex my father did not want me to marry him.

605
00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:25,120
Speaker 2: He was not Italian. Somebody spoke on his behalf. That

606
00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:27,720
Speaker 2: person too became a snitch, so we should have never

607
00:32:27,720 --> 00:32:31,120
Speaker 2: trusted him. And my ex husband started with the abuse,

608
00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:32,600
Speaker 2: knocking the shit out of me.

609
00:32:33,680 --> 00:32:35,920
Speaker 1: My father was it'd be weird to go knock the

610
00:32:35,960 --> 00:32:38,880
Speaker 1: shit out of a mob boss's daughter.

611
00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:40,760
Speaker 2: But he also knew I wasn't telling.

612
00:32:41,400 --> 00:32:45,280
Speaker 1: Still fucked up it is? And what is your relationship

613
00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:47,200
Speaker 1: with your family now besides your sister? Like, are you

614
00:32:47,320 --> 00:32:48,880
Speaker 1: mending my senses? Do they trust you?

615
00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:55,000
Speaker 2: Everybody? Since I checked in on November three last year,

616
00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:58,239
Speaker 2: I have spoken to my son every single day, at

617
00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:01,520
Speaker 2: least two times a day, at least two times a day.

618
00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:04,440
Speaker 2: I just flew my grandkids out to California. We went

619
00:33:04,480 --> 00:33:08,480
Speaker 2: to Disney and Universal. My daughter in law and I

620
00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:12,040
Speaker 2: have had like the relationship. We're on the phone, got

621
00:33:12,080 --> 00:33:16,960
Speaker 2: the bing like, oh yay, everyone in my family, every that.

622
00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:20,000
Speaker 1: You really meant you really did you did the work?

623
00:33:20,440 --> 00:33:24,360
Speaker 1: Friend that every one of your friends that are my

624
00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:26,720
Speaker 1: real friends? Yeah, yeah, I know, Renee.

625
00:33:26,920 --> 00:33:29,800
Speaker 2: We're proud of you. I can't believe and what has

626
00:33:29,880 --> 00:33:33,280
Speaker 2: happened in four months? I can't even tell you. Like

627
00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:36,600
Speaker 2: the job that I just got, getting paid, the amount

628
00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:39,920
Speaker 2: of money I just got, it's like, oh wait a second,

629
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:41,760
Speaker 2: I don't got to sell my soul anymore.

630
00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:44,400
Speaker 1: You have like a real job, and it's not like

631
00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:46,680
Speaker 1: bullshit entertainment. We have to have the hiles. You're like

632
00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:48,360
Speaker 1: a legitimate, like grown up job.

633
00:33:48,560 --> 00:33:53,760
Speaker 2: I you know, I spoke with Vivoca Fox, Justina Valentine

634
00:33:54,360 --> 00:33:57,680
Speaker 2: Havoc for Mob Deep. All these people are like I

635
00:33:57,720 --> 00:34:00,920
Speaker 2: asked them, you know, can I innovate you? You Jason

636
00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:04,280
Speaker 2: from the Dallas Jason Hatchet from the Dallas Cabin. It's

637
00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:10,800
Speaker 2: like an A list celebrity lineup, Amazing Bunny roll, whatever,

638
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:13,200
Speaker 2: whatever you need, we got. You don't pay for anything.

639
00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:29,120
Speaker 1: What's fascinating is because I hear this with other people.

640
00:34:29,520 --> 00:34:32,040
Speaker 1: You hit the bottom, but it wasn't really the bottom.

641
00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:33,920
Speaker 1: When you went when you almost died, you went back

642
00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:36,480
Speaker 1: and used again like you didn't go. You didn't go

643
00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:39,319
Speaker 1: to rehab, Like what the fuck? Like people would be like,

644
00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:40,200
Speaker 1: what the fuck about that?

645
00:34:40,760 --> 00:34:41,960
Speaker 2: I didn't go for a month?

646
00:34:42,520 --> 00:34:44,120
Speaker 1: I didn't So what was that much.

647
00:34:44,320 --> 00:34:48,720
Speaker 2: I was really battling with the devil, Like I kid

648
00:34:48,760 --> 00:34:53,000
Speaker 2: you not. I feel like he, literally, the grim reaper king.

649
00:34:53,520 --> 00:34:55,240
Speaker 1: Was holding you there with the battle.

650
00:34:55,280 --> 00:35:00,720
Speaker 2: Every day I'd get up and and that next six weeks,

651
00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:04,320
Speaker 2: I definitely use like I would say maybe five or

652
00:35:04,360 --> 00:35:07,839
Speaker 2: six times. Absolutely absolutely, But.

653
00:35:07,840 --> 00:35:09,399
Speaker 1: I was interested that ax.

654
00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:13,160
Speaker 2: No, I went back to the pill from the pharmacy.

655
00:35:13,880 --> 00:35:16,400
Speaker 2: Let me take that pill. I know where it's coming from.

656
00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:19,320
Speaker 1: But because you're you're justifying in your mind, that doesn't

657
00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:21,320
Speaker 1: count because it came from a doctor. Like it's different

658
00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:22,120
Speaker 1: than yeah.

659
00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:24,839
Speaker 2: I wanted to die. You know. I touched on this

660
00:35:24,880 --> 00:35:27,920
Speaker 2: a little bit when my father passed away in nineteen.

661
00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:30,719
Speaker 2: I went to a hospital and they said, okay, you

662
00:35:30,760 --> 00:35:33,799
Speaker 2: know what. You're a candidate for shock treatment. You have

663
00:35:33,880 --> 00:35:37,239
Speaker 2: major depressive disorder. We're gonna do six sessions. You're not

664
00:35:37,280 --> 00:35:40,280
Speaker 2: going to be sad anymore. If someone would have told

665
00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:42,359
Speaker 2: me you're gonna get hit on your head with a

666
00:35:42,400 --> 00:35:45,240
Speaker 2: block of cement and you're not going to be sad anymore,

667
00:35:45,280 --> 00:35:48,920
Speaker 2: I would have said, drop five, drop five. So I

668
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:52,239
Speaker 2: did six sessions and it destroyed me.

669
00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:54,840
Speaker 1: It uh the opposite direction.

670
00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:59,520
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's where my addiction then became like I

671
00:35:59,600 --> 00:36:07,000
Speaker 2: stopped sleeping completely. Everything was magnified, magnified. My body's in

672
00:36:07,160 --> 00:36:10,120
Speaker 2: physical pain all the time from like the surgeries I've

673
00:36:10,160 --> 00:36:12,880
Speaker 2: had over the years. So now I suffer like with

674
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:16,440
Speaker 2: physical pain. But I put on a light, a kan

675
00:36:16,560 --> 00:36:21,560
Speaker 2: patch five percent lightcain. I don't take any medication for that.

676
00:36:22,320 --> 00:36:27,319
Speaker 2: I take prozac, which they're giving to every woman now

677
00:36:27,320 --> 00:36:28,080
Speaker 2: in menopause.

678
00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:30,880
Speaker 1: And you don't drink.

679
00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:33,280
Speaker 2: No, I never liked alcohol.

680
00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:35,880
Speaker 1: So yeah, you're in a world now where I know

681
00:36:35,920 --> 00:36:38,400
Speaker 1: you didn't like alcohol. But people, so many people are sober, curious,

682
00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:40,640
Speaker 1: so many people are just walking around sober now, and

683
00:36:40,680 --> 00:36:42,640
Speaker 1: so I think it's an interesting time. I mean, I

684
00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:45,960
Speaker 1: have a mocktail brand literally because I wanted to speak

685
00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:52,160
Speaker 1: to this space. But it's very prevalent. And are you worried?

686
00:36:52,280 --> 00:36:54,719
Speaker 1: Do you crave? Do you think about it? Are you

687
00:36:54,760 --> 00:36:56,880
Speaker 1: worried about going out and being social and being normal

688
00:36:56,920 --> 00:36:58,960
Speaker 1: and not hanging out with other addicts going through what

689
00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:02,400
Speaker 1: you're going through? Hang out with people that are partying?

690
00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:07,040
Speaker 2: Okay, So my core group of friends, they drink, they

691
00:37:07,040 --> 00:37:08,240
Speaker 2: don't get high, never.

692
00:37:08,120 --> 00:37:10,600
Speaker 1: Did, nobody does, okay, And you don't want to drink,

693
00:37:10,600 --> 00:37:11,160
Speaker 1: so you don't care.

694
00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:16,000
Speaker 2: I don't. Yeah. I lost someone who I considered a

695
00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:20,200
Speaker 2: brother to suicide in October and that's where the change came.

696
00:37:20,719 --> 00:37:24,319
Speaker 2: Like I couldn't believe I lost this person in my

697
00:37:24,440 --> 00:37:27,600
Speaker 2: life that was like my brother. He was the savior

698
00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:31,600
Speaker 2: and he committed suicide and it devastated me. And that

699
00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:35,480
Speaker 2: was my choice to get right and since then, when

700
00:37:35,520 --> 00:37:37,239
Speaker 2: I tell you bethen he it's just I don't know

701
00:37:37,239 --> 00:37:39,719
Speaker 2: what the feeling is. I can't even explain it to you.

702
00:37:40,160 --> 00:37:43,920
Speaker 2: It's this feeling of, oh my god, I'm happy. What

703
00:37:44,040 --> 00:37:46,000
Speaker 2: do I do with happy? That's what scares me.

704
00:37:46,239 --> 00:37:48,359
Speaker 1: I get it, I get it.

705
00:37:50,160 --> 00:37:51,840
Speaker 2: Why does this guy want to take me out on

706
00:37:51,880 --> 00:37:54,160
Speaker 2: a date? Oh no, oh no, you know what I mean.

707
00:37:54,239 --> 00:37:57,520
Speaker 2: Like so there's like this siren that goes off, which

708
00:37:57,560 --> 00:38:00,640
Speaker 2: I have to attention to that siren because for me,

709
00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:05,080
Speaker 2: that's like danger. Danger, and danger to me means self medicaid.

710
00:38:05,680 --> 00:38:08,000
Speaker 1: You know, I have a great therapist and life coach.

711
00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:09,839
Speaker 1: You have great because I have the great person out

712
00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:14,000
Speaker 1: in la not touchy feeling, not freud, but like okay,

713
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:16,360
Speaker 1: full on. He's amazing. You should have him on you.

714
00:38:16,440 --> 00:38:18,680
Speaker 1: He's amazing. He's like intervene in your own life. He's

715
00:38:18,840 --> 00:38:19,720
Speaker 1: very he's amazing.

716
00:38:20,360 --> 00:38:21,400
Speaker 2: Let's talk about that.

717
00:38:21,520 --> 00:38:23,359
Speaker 1: I'll give you his information. Yeah, I mean, I also

718
00:38:23,440 --> 00:38:24,840
Speaker 1: have an incredible I've been with the same. I have

719
00:38:24,840 --> 00:38:27,160
Speaker 1: an incredible therapist. But the life coach guy is in

720
00:38:27,320 --> 00:38:31,440
Speaker 1: lak and he's had the craziest life too, of like

721
00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:34,799
Speaker 1: money and addiction and wealthy parents and dated all these

722
00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:37,560
Speaker 1: famous models and like he changed his whole life years ago.

723
00:38:37,600 --> 00:38:39,960
Speaker 1: But he's a major. He's a major guy. You would

724
00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:41,160
Speaker 1: like him. He's not bullshit either.

725
00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:46,000
Speaker 2: I became a life coach and twenty myself, and I

726
00:38:46,040 --> 00:38:47,520
Speaker 2: can coach somebody else's life.

727
00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:50,439
Speaker 1: Just not no, but not yeah, I get it. Yeah,

728
00:38:50,520 --> 00:38:53,560
Speaker 1: when you're sometimes people feel uncomfortable. For me, it's not

729
00:38:53,680 --> 00:38:58,160
Speaker 1: being happy, it's it's normalcy and peace feels weird, just

730
00:38:58,200 --> 00:39:00,400
Speaker 1: like level and normalcy and not the eyes and the

731
00:39:00,440 --> 00:39:03,919
Speaker 1: low sometimes feel weird. Just like you just feel like good.

732
00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:06,840
Speaker 1: You just feel okay. You wake up okay, you feel settled,

733
00:39:06,880 --> 00:39:09,319
Speaker 1: you don't feel mercurial, you don't feel erradic, you just

734
00:39:09,320 --> 00:39:10,399
Speaker 1: feel like a human being.

735
00:39:10,719 --> 00:39:13,560
Speaker 2: I wake up every day and I'm like, okay, the

736
00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:17,200
Speaker 2: sun is shining, even when it's raining. The sun is shining.

737
00:39:17,719 --> 00:39:21,919
Speaker 2: It's the conversations between my son and I that are

738
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:25,960
Speaker 2: really everything to me. It's everything. My sister Jennifer just

739
00:39:26,040 --> 00:39:29,480
Speaker 2: signed back on from management with my other manager, Chris,

740
00:39:30,920 --> 00:39:35,960
Speaker 2: Like it's just incredible that four months and it turned

741
00:39:35,960 --> 00:39:40,520
Speaker 2: around like it never happened. However, it did happen, and

742
00:39:40,640 --> 00:39:43,920
Speaker 2: I have to remind myself every day that that did happen.

743
00:39:44,120 --> 00:39:46,360
Speaker 1: Right, you could be on the high of the sobriety

744
00:39:46,440 --> 00:39:48,279
Speaker 1: right now, Like that's a different high, you know what

745
00:39:48,360 --> 00:39:48,640
Speaker 1: I mean.

746
00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:53,920
Speaker 2: I'm not on that pink cloud because I do cry still,

747
00:39:54,120 --> 00:39:57,200
Speaker 2: so I'm not on no. I do miss my father.

748
00:39:58,320 --> 00:40:00,680
Speaker 2: I did a ketymine treatment and I don't know if

749
00:40:00,719 --> 00:40:04,160
Speaker 2: you know who Zappi is. Do you know that name? Okay,

750
00:40:04,400 --> 00:40:09,080
Speaker 2: oh lamar Odom and this gentleman Zappie bought like fifty

751
00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:14,400
Speaker 2: acres in Malibos and they do these ketamine treatments. So

752
00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:17,440
Speaker 2: ten years ago and you do it what a doctor?

753
00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:20,120
Speaker 2: You know you process? So for me, I had to

754
00:40:20,160 --> 00:40:22,600
Speaker 2: figure out how am I gonna let go of my father?

755
00:40:23,600 --> 00:40:25,960
Speaker 2: Stop saying I want to be with my father. I

756
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:29,480
Speaker 2: have full grandkids. That's the most selfish statement in the world.

757
00:40:29,880 --> 00:40:32,880
Speaker 2: And I gotta live. I have to live. Big Anne's

758
00:40:32,960 --> 00:40:36,399
Speaker 2: died and she used to always say, We're out here

759
00:40:36,440 --> 00:40:38,560
Speaker 2: for a long time, for a good time. And it

760
00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:41,480
Speaker 2: just been playing over every day in my life. Every

761
00:40:41,560 --> 00:40:43,239
Speaker 2: day I hear that and I'm like, Okay, what am

762
00:40:43,280 --> 00:40:45,440
Speaker 2: I gonna do today? Today, I'm gonna go to the beach.

763
00:40:45,719 --> 00:40:48,600
Speaker 2: I'm gonna sit by the word. And it's changed me.

764
00:40:48,920 --> 00:40:52,239
Speaker 2: I just I want to help somebody, like I want

765
00:40:52,280 --> 00:40:56,800
Speaker 2: people to understand you do have a purpose. I spoke

766
00:40:56,880 --> 00:41:00,000
Speaker 2: at and I had like ten minutes to give this speech,

767
00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:01,959
Speaker 2: and I was like, what am I going to say?

768
00:41:03,320 --> 00:41:07,240
Speaker 2: And I said, basically, Uh, if the disease of addiction

769
00:41:07,280 --> 00:41:08,919
Speaker 2: would have told me that I was going to rob

770
00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:11,200
Speaker 2: my son of thirteen years of his life, I would

771
00:41:11,239 --> 00:41:13,960
Speaker 2: have fought harder. If the disease of addiction would have

772
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:16,600
Speaker 2: told me that I'd married my abuser, I would have

773
00:41:16,719 --> 00:41:19,920
Speaker 2: thought harder. If the disease of addiction would have told

774
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:22,720
Speaker 2: me that I was going to cause pain and suffering

775
00:41:22,760 --> 00:41:24,920
Speaker 2: to the ones that loved me and anyone who entered

776
00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:27,840
Speaker 2: my life, I would have bought harder. It goes on

777
00:41:27,960 --> 00:41:29,799
Speaker 2: for like three more and then at the end, I said,

778
00:41:29,920 --> 00:41:32,200
Speaker 2: matter of fact, the disease of addiction did tell me,

779
00:41:32,280 --> 00:41:33,640
Speaker 2: but I was too high to hear it.

780
00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:39,960
Speaker 1: M Wow and wow. Do you have any attraction now

781
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:43,680
Speaker 1: to entertainment and fame or you don't care?

782
00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:47,120
Speaker 2: I know this is going to sound a little off,

783
00:41:47,239 --> 00:41:51,040
Speaker 2: but I feel like I've always been in that limelight

784
00:41:51,080 --> 00:41:55,440
Speaker 2: because of my father. So uh huh fame. Fame is infamacy,

785
00:41:55,760 --> 00:41:58,799
Speaker 2: you know what I mean? Like, yeah, infamy, Yeah, of

786
00:41:58,840 --> 00:42:01,759
Speaker 2: course I do Realizy TV. Again, I'm grat at it,

787
00:42:01,880 --> 00:42:05,359
Speaker 2: but I mean break bringing TV. But I you know,

788
00:42:05,480 --> 00:42:07,839
Speaker 2: with the exception of Mob Wives, I didn't use on

789
00:42:07,880 --> 00:42:10,759
Speaker 2: television mob Wives, I was still an addiction. But I

790
00:42:10,800 --> 00:42:13,680
Speaker 2: don't use when I work, like that's a different. I'm

791
00:42:13,719 --> 00:42:16,799
Speaker 2: just naturally, you know, good crazy. I say what's on

792
00:42:16,840 --> 00:42:19,560
Speaker 2: my mind, So do you? You say what's on your heart? Period?

793
00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:22,920
Speaker 2: You don't care. You say it and you skin what

794
00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:25,480
Speaker 2: you say. And that's why I have a disrespect for you,

795
00:42:25,560 --> 00:42:28,960
Speaker 2: because you do it, you say it, you do it,

796
00:42:29,040 --> 00:42:32,040
Speaker 2: and that's what I am very welcome. I have to

797
00:42:32,120 --> 00:42:36,400
Speaker 2: do what I say, walk well and don't care about

798
00:42:36,880 --> 00:42:39,359
Speaker 2: the dream is of the world or they you know,

799
00:42:39,520 --> 00:42:39,919
Speaker 2: and I.

800
00:42:40,080 --> 00:42:43,000
Speaker 1: The men don't get men don't think like that. Men

801
00:42:43,080 --> 00:42:45,279
Speaker 1: don't think like, oh my god, I can't. I just

802
00:42:45,280 --> 00:42:46,480
Speaker 1: said that to her, and I feel bad now, and

803
00:42:46,480 --> 00:42:48,400
Speaker 1: what's everyone going to think? And I'm still even programmed

804
00:42:48,400 --> 00:42:50,080
Speaker 1: a little bit like that, even though it doesn't seem

805
00:42:50,160 --> 00:42:52,680
Speaker 1: like I am. But men don't second guess what they're

806
00:42:52,719 --> 00:42:55,400
Speaker 1: saying and thinking like little babies like we do, and

807
00:42:55,760 --> 00:42:59,080
Speaker 1: we have to. That's one thing that should even out.

808
00:42:59,120 --> 00:43:01,640
Speaker 1: You said it, and you back it up and it's okay.

809
00:43:01,880 --> 00:43:03,680
Speaker 1: And you try to please everybody, you please nobody, and

810
00:43:03,719 --> 00:43:05,280
Speaker 1: you don't have to be best friends with everybody.

811
00:43:05,400 --> 00:43:08,560
Speaker 2: Oh please. Dating is off the table, and smack, I

812
00:43:08,560 --> 00:43:11,840
Speaker 2: can smack people with my words. Dating is off the table.

813
00:43:11,960 --> 00:43:14,839
Speaker 2: I'm done. It's been a April, will be a year.

814
00:43:15,440 --> 00:43:16,240
Speaker 2: I'm good.

815
00:43:16,640 --> 00:43:19,279
Speaker 1: Last night I was thinking about Drew Barrymore seeming like

816
00:43:19,320 --> 00:43:20,920
Speaker 1: she's got a you know, on her show, she's got

817
00:43:20,960 --> 00:43:22,920
Speaker 1: a career, she got a meaningful life, she has purpose.

818
00:43:23,080 --> 00:43:25,560
Speaker 1: She doesn't seem that interested in she talks about it,

819
00:43:25,600 --> 00:43:28,480
Speaker 1: doesn't seem that interested in it. And Kelly Clarkson was like,

820
00:43:28,520 --> 00:43:30,000
Speaker 1: I am not interested in it, but not in a

821
00:43:30,040 --> 00:43:32,040
Speaker 1: way where you're bitter. Like they're like, I have a

822
00:43:32,080 --> 00:43:35,200
Speaker 1: relationship with my kids. I am of a successful show.

823
00:43:35,560 --> 00:43:38,000
Speaker 1: And even Hodah was saying she went on dates. And

824
00:43:38,040 --> 00:43:40,960
Speaker 1: it was funny because Jenna was saying, and you know,

825
00:43:41,160 --> 00:43:43,120
Speaker 1: and now there means there is hope. But you could

826
00:43:43,160 --> 00:43:44,719
Speaker 1: tell that Hoda was saying, no, I just went on

827
00:43:44,800 --> 00:43:46,160
Speaker 1: dates because it means I'm not with my kids and

828
00:43:46,200 --> 00:43:48,880
Speaker 1: I'm not working. But like, I don't need it. Just

829
00:43:48,880 --> 00:43:51,480
Speaker 1: seems like everybody's not being defiant when they say I

830
00:43:51,480 --> 00:43:53,799
Speaker 1: don't need a man, but they literally are saying, I

831
00:43:53,840 --> 00:43:55,160
Speaker 1: don't need anyone to complete me.

832
00:43:55,360 --> 00:43:59,000
Speaker 2: I'm good anybody to coplicate me, you know what I mean?

833
00:43:59,080 --> 00:44:02,200
Speaker 1: Like, that's what I'm hearing a lot from women fifty plus,

834
00:44:02,239 --> 00:44:05,160
Speaker 1: and no one's really it's getting louder like it's really

835
00:44:05,200 --> 00:44:08,600
Speaker 1: a thing women being like, I don't need it. I'm

836
00:44:08,600 --> 00:44:11,680
Speaker 1: good and not in a not in an insecure way,

837
00:44:11,719 --> 00:44:14,399
Speaker 1: is what I'm saying. We've heard that before, right.

838
00:44:14,480 --> 00:44:16,480
Speaker 2: I think a lot of young girls are just giving

839
00:44:16,480 --> 00:44:19,440
Speaker 2: it away. And why by the cow if you get

840
00:44:19,480 --> 00:44:21,399
Speaker 2: the milk for free, like my mother would always say

841
00:44:21,440 --> 00:44:23,279
Speaker 2: that to me, So why am I going to add

842
00:44:23,320 --> 00:44:25,520
Speaker 2: this guy into my life who wants to day twenty

843
00:44:25,520 --> 00:44:28,440
Speaker 2: five year old girls because he's going through midlife prices.

844
00:44:28,640 --> 00:44:31,040
Speaker 2: Take your midlife prices and stick it up your asks.

845
00:44:31,320 --> 00:44:35,080
Speaker 1: Well, I think a lot of young girls also want

846
00:44:35,160 --> 00:44:38,239
Speaker 1: someone to save them, want someone who's rich going to

847
00:44:38,280 --> 00:44:40,320
Speaker 1: take care of them. And then they're going to realize

848
00:44:40,600 --> 00:44:43,600
Speaker 1: in ten years when they're sitting home smoking cigarettes, drinking

849
00:44:43,600 --> 00:44:45,320
Speaker 1: wine with their friends and bored and like want to

850
00:44:45,360 --> 00:44:47,520
Speaker 1: go on all these trips that they should have enjoyed

851
00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:49,520
Speaker 1: their lives on the front end, because you have your

852
00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:52,760
Speaker 1: whole life to be bored, to be old, to complain

853
00:44:52,760 --> 00:44:55,640
Speaker 1: about your back to the biggest exciting thing is like

854
00:44:55,840 --> 00:44:57,719
Speaker 1: had you sleep last night? So on the front they

855
00:44:57,760 --> 00:45:00,880
Speaker 1: shouldn't be rushing that process because the people that are

856
00:45:00,920 --> 00:45:04,239
Speaker 1: in their fifties are realizing that they've done the marriage

857
00:45:04,360 --> 00:45:05,600
Speaker 1: and it ain't all it's cracked up.

858
00:45:05,640 --> 00:45:11,160
Speaker 2: To me, my ex husband's last name is Pagan. Wait ready,

859
00:45:11,280 --> 00:45:13,560
Speaker 2: I got married in a church called Our Lady of

860
00:45:13,760 --> 00:45:19,520
Speaker 2: Pity and a black crow sat on the perch like

861
00:45:19,600 --> 00:45:22,239
Speaker 2: on the thing above me, and the priest had a

862
00:45:22,280 --> 00:45:26,359
Speaker 2: three karac katy ring going on the way down the aisle.

863
00:45:26,400 --> 00:45:27,919
Speaker 2: I go, dad, I don't want to marry this guy.

864
00:45:27,960 --> 00:45:30,040
Speaker 2: He got swear on everything hole. He goes like this,

865
00:45:30,760 --> 00:45:33,719
Speaker 2: get down the fucking aisle because I just spent two

866
00:45:33,840 --> 00:45:36,200
Speaker 2: hundred and fifty thousand and two. So two fifty and

867
00:45:36,280 --> 00:45:40,320
Speaker 2: nineteen ninety three was he h, we'll get to boss tomorrow.

868
00:45:40,360 --> 00:45:43,960
Speaker 2: You got five hundred people coming down the aisle and

869
00:45:44,040 --> 00:45:46,720
Speaker 2: I cried it derekly, and people thought I was crying

870
00:45:46,719 --> 00:45:49,080
Speaker 2: because I was happy. I was crying because I was

871
00:45:49,120 --> 00:45:50,040
Speaker 2: marrying the devil.

872
00:45:50,680 --> 00:45:54,799
Speaker 1: That's hilarious. He that it's hilarious. Now it's not that,

873
00:45:54,880 --> 00:45:58,759
Speaker 1: but that's your son's father. Unfortunately, yes, he's the they

874
00:45:58,800 --> 00:45:59,600
Speaker 1: have a relationship.

875
00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:05,160
Speaker 2: I did no. He rated on my father. So when

876
00:46:05,200 --> 00:46:08,400
Speaker 2: I died on mob wives from plastic surgery, really died

877
00:46:08,480 --> 00:46:11,759
Speaker 2: flatlines mersed it through my whole body in the hospital

878
00:46:12,160 --> 00:46:16,000
Speaker 2: for four months. Read my last rites twice. This man

879
00:46:16,040 --> 00:46:18,560
Speaker 2: comes back to me, Bethany and gives me this watch

880
00:46:18,760 --> 00:46:22,040
Speaker 2: and it was the one Rolex I didn't have long

881
00:46:22,080 --> 00:46:27,160
Speaker 2: story should when he went into jail, he took money

882
00:46:27,160 --> 00:46:29,360
Speaker 2: from me, and he's telling everybody in these interviews he

883
00:46:29,480 --> 00:46:31,719
Speaker 2: left me everything. The only thing you left me was

884
00:46:31,760 --> 00:46:36,400
Speaker 2: embarrassed and crumbs. Because what you did to me was

885
00:46:36,440 --> 00:46:39,720
Speaker 2: you took my father, who just did twelve years, came

886
00:46:39,760 --> 00:46:42,880
Speaker 2: home three months and you took my father. My son

887
00:46:43,239 --> 00:46:45,520
Speaker 2: caught a beaten from these kids because his father was

888
00:46:45,560 --> 00:46:48,520
Speaker 2: a rat. They gave my son fourteenth staples. So what

889
00:46:48,600 --> 00:46:51,480
Speaker 2: did you leave me? You left me problems? What did

890
00:46:51,520 --> 00:46:55,359
Speaker 2: you leave me? My house robbed twice? Wow?

891
00:46:55,600 --> 00:46:56,120
Speaker 1: Where's he?

892
00:46:56,200 --> 00:47:03,719
Speaker 2: Now's the story? So he came two years ago, three

893
00:47:03,800 --> 00:47:07,000
Speaker 2: years I was sober, ten months sober. He started with

894
00:47:07,160 --> 00:47:10,239
Speaker 2: I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill you, the threats.

895
00:47:10,440 --> 00:47:12,440
Speaker 2: What are you killing me for? You read it? I

896
00:47:12,520 --> 00:47:15,440
Speaker 2: didn't you with the murderer, not me. You didn't want

897
00:47:15,440 --> 00:47:17,759
Speaker 2: to do the time for the crime you committed. Why

898
00:47:17,760 --> 00:47:20,600
Speaker 2: are you threatening me? So it's an like it still

899
00:47:20,640 --> 00:47:23,799
Speaker 2: happens to this day. And it's terrible because I won't

900
00:47:23,800 --> 00:47:27,719
Speaker 2: get a restraining order, but I will tell you that

901
00:47:29,000 --> 00:47:32,319
Speaker 2: I might. I might because you know what, I kind

902
00:47:32,320 --> 00:47:35,240
Speaker 2: of feel like it's a little scary with him because

903
00:47:35,280 --> 00:47:38,960
Speaker 2: I know he really is a murderer. Okay, he went

904
00:47:38,960 --> 00:47:43,800
Speaker 2: to jail for it. He he Oh wait, the funny

905
00:47:43,800 --> 00:47:46,880
Speaker 2: part about the watch. So after he left and he

906
00:47:46,960 --> 00:47:49,920
Speaker 2: left me in debt, I find his watch collection. I'm like,

907
00:47:50,120 --> 00:47:52,960
Speaker 2: screw it. I'll hop him and I'll pay the taxes.

908
00:47:53,960 --> 00:47:58,879
Speaker 2: All the watches were fake and all the watches had wires.

909
00:48:00,640 --> 00:48:07,120
Speaker 2: True story, swear, swear, It's in the court documents. Yep.

910
00:48:07,440 --> 00:48:10,600
Speaker 2: He was taping my father and my I hear my

911
00:48:10,719 --> 00:48:14,600
Speaker 2: mother on the tape saying, Junior, do you want breakfast?

912
00:48:14,960 --> 00:48:19,000
Speaker 2: Do you wants bacon or sausage? And this? And how

913
00:48:19,000 --> 00:48:21,680
Speaker 2: do you want your eggs? My mother? You tape my mother?

914
00:48:22,480 --> 00:48:24,520
Speaker 2: You should go to hell. I wish you.

915
00:48:24,560 --> 00:48:29,399
Speaker 1: Well, that's a great wow, oh my God, Like I.

916
00:48:29,320 --> 00:48:32,440
Speaker 2: Wish him a hundred angry Renees every day of my life.

917
00:48:32,600 --> 00:48:35,280
Speaker 2: And trust me, when I'm angry, I'd rather die.

918
00:48:35,680 --> 00:48:38,160
Speaker 1: Wow. Well, I mean, I'm so glad that I got

919
00:48:38,200 --> 00:48:40,239
Speaker 1: to speak to you because in the times that I

920
00:48:40,280 --> 00:48:42,880
Speaker 1: met you, I'm sure it was four minutes, three minutes,

921
00:48:43,239 --> 00:48:46,720
Speaker 1: six minutes, And like that's why I will never forget

922
00:48:46,840 --> 00:48:49,759
Speaker 1: having met you and gotten to know you again, like never.

923
00:48:50,080 --> 00:48:53,040
Speaker 1: And I felt it's weird though, I felt like I

924
00:48:53,120 --> 00:48:55,520
Speaker 1: know her, but I don't know how, and I apologize

925
00:48:55,520 --> 00:48:58,399
Speaker 1: for that deeply, but like I will never forget again. Ever.

926
00:48:59,320 --> 00:49:02,720
Speaker 1: You're amazing. I'm really happy for you. I'm happy you're alive.

927
00:49:02,760 --> 00:49:05,279
Speaker 1: I'm happy you connected with the right people. And I'm

928
00:49:05,320 --> 00:49:07,680
Speaker 1: really proud that you're sober and have connected with your

929
00:49:07,680 --> 00:49:11,640
Speaker 1: family and raising awareness for this ventanyl thing. That's crazy

930
00:49:11,719 --> 00:49:15,440
Speaker 1: because I'm hearing stories of snap Chat and people finding

931
00:49:15,440 --> 00:49:18,759
Speaker 1: these dealers and teens going for adderall and it being

932
00:49:18,840 --> 00:49:22,640
Speaker 1: laced with fentanyl. And like, I've got a thirteen year

933
00:49:22,680 --> 00:49:26,000
Speaker 1: old daughter who's turning fourteen, and I tell her, don't

934
00:49:26,040 --> 00:49:28,479
Speaker 1: ever even put your drink down. Doesn't matter if it's water,

935
00:49:28,640 --> 00:49:29,920
Speaker 1: Like you know, you're drilling.

936
00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:30,400
Speaker 2: She lives in.

937
00:49:31,760 --> 00:49:34,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're drilling in fear to these kids because it's

938
00:49:34,040 --> 00:49:35,319
Speaker 1: a different world than when we grew up. And I

939
00:49:35,360 --> 00:49:36,000
Speaker 1: really don't care.

940
00:49:36,280 --> 00:49:38,120
Speaker 2: Well, tell us she had the fairy mob mother.

941
00:49:38,920 --> 00:49:41,160
Speaker 1: I will a fairy mob mother. Yes, what we got.

942
00:49:41,200 --> 00:49:44,400
Speaker 1: She loves California, We love Malibu, so we're we. I

943
00:49:44,880 --> 00:49:47,200
Speaker 1: love that you're doing this and let me know what

944
00:49:47,239 --> 00:49:51,200
Speaker 1: you need. But I really good for you. Stay the course.

945
00:49:51,320 --> 00:49:53,600
Speaker 1: You listen to Steve madd and your addiction is more

946
00:49:53,600 --> 00:49:56,719
Speaker 1: important than anything. And the sobriety's your best friend and

947
00:49:56,760 --> 00:50:00,279
Speaker 1: your family member. Now, Yes, love you, bethy, thank you,

948
00:50:00,440 --> 00:50:03,040
Speaker 1: love you tonight, Thank you so much, congratulations, thank you,

949
00:50:03,120 --> 00:50:04,280
Speaker 1: Bye bye,