WEBVTT - JEN HATMAKER: "Feed These People" 0:00:04.240 --> 0:00:08.200 And just like that, Christmas is a rap. I hope 0:00:08.240 --> 0:00:10.840 yours was magical and full of all of the things 0:00:10.880 --> 0:00:13.880 that make for happy memories to last the whole year 0:00:13.920 --> 0:00:17.960 through that New Year, By the way, is jazz days away. 0:00:18.239 --> 0:00:22.200 Are you busy making a list of resolutions? Or like me, 0:00:22.280 --> 0:00:24.239 did you give that up a couple of decades ago? 0:00:25.079 --> 0:00:29.280 Instead of specific goals, I seem more inclined to give 0:00:29.360 --> 0:00:34.280 myself little little pep talks when January rolls around. I 0:00:34.400 --> 0:00:38.520 resolved to be better about I don't know self care, 0:00:38.680 --> 0:00:42.040 vowing to strike a better balance when it comes to 0:00:42.200 --> 0:00:47.280 rest and exercise and nutrition. The dark winter months do 0:00:47.479 --> 0:00:50.800 provide time for me to work on indoor art projects, 0:00:51.600 --> 0:00:53.440 to read all the books I wanted to get to 0:00:53.560 --> 0:00:57.480 over the summer, and ample opportunity to think up fresh 0:00:57.680 --> 0:01:00.480 new ideas I might try out in this spring. But 0:01:00.560 --> 0:01:04.520 in the meantime, I want you to embrace winter in 0:01:04.680 --> 0:01:09.000 all of its wonder My guest on our podcast today 0:01:09.080 --> 0:01:13.679 is someone known to embrace and celebrate life through every 0:01:13.760 --> 0:01:17.440 twist and turn. She's a New York Times best selling 0:01:17.560 --> 0:01:22.119 author of For the Love and Fierce, Free and Full 0:01:22.160 --> 0:01:26.759 of Fire, along with twelve other books you might listen 0:01:26.800 --> 0:01:30.679 to her award winning for the Love podcast. I'm talking, 0:01:30.680 --> 0:01:34.760 of course, about the fabulous Jin Hatmaker. If you were 0:01:34.840 --> 0:01:38.280 to visit Jen's web page, you would be greeted with 0:01:38.319 --> 0:01:40.840 this statement. I'm going to try to read it just 0:01:40.920 --> 0:01:44.840 as she wrote it. I believe women living in freedom 0:01:44.840 --> 0:01:49.240 are the answer to all that ails society. When we 0:01:49.320 --> 0:01:55.040 are actually who we are, how we are, where we are, 0:01:55.880 --> 0:01:59.520 as we are always meant to be, women are the 0:01:59.600 --> 0:02:04.160 greatest gifts to this world. My whole life's work is 0:02:04.200 --> 0:02:07.800 to serve women as they genuinely show up to their 0:02:07.800 --> 0:02:13.480 own lives. We need not fear the truth or hard questions, 0:02:14.040 --> 0:02:21.320 or spiritual curiosity, or challenging unjust systems. That is literally 0:02:21.320 --> 0:02:26.079 why we are here. Welcome to this community. You are 0:02:26.240 --> 0:02:34.720 beloved and necessary and good. Needless to say, I love her. 0:02:35.400 --> 0:02:37.919 I can't wait to have a heart to heart conversation 0:02:37.960 --> 0:02:40.760 with Jen hat Maker today. I know it's going to 0:02:40.840 --> 0:02:43.680 be inspiring. I'm going to share some love with one 0:02:43.720 --> 0:02:47.919 of my podcast sponsors first and then we'll get into it. 0:02:48.560 --> 0:02:51.320 Visitors to my home or my studio are sure to 0:02:51.400 --> 0:02:55.040 notice one thing right away. My love for Tea, one 0:02:55.080 --> 0:02:59.119 of my favorites is bigelowt s constant comment. It's been 0:02:59.120 --> 0:03:03.560 my go to for years. The aromatic citrus and Spice 0:03:03.639 --> 0:03:07.080 Blend is an immediate pick me up first thing in 0:03:07.080 --> 0:03:10.600 the morning, during the afternoon slump, or when sitting down 0:03:10.600 --> 0:03:13.840 in front of the microphone to spend time with my listeners. 0:03:13.919 --> 0:03:17.280 Each evening, even before I take my first sip, I 0:03:17.440 --> 0:03:22.160 like to slowly inhale, letting the scent of oranges and 0:03:22.320 --> 0:03:27.720 sweet spices fill my lungs and tantalize my taste buds. 0:03:28.200 --> 0:03:30.440 It's a little ritual that helps to put me in 0:03:30.480 --> 0:03:34.080 the best frame of mind for whatever task lies ahead. 0:03:34.760 --> 0:03:38.560 I wonder if Ruth Bigelow did something similar when she 0:03:38.800 --> 0:03:43.040 mixed up the first batch of Constant Comment in her 0:03:43.120 --> 0:03:48.080 kitchen over seventy five years ago. It wouldn't surprise me. 0:03:48.840 --> 0:03:53.760 Love tea, love citrus and spice and everything nice. Don't 0:03:53.800 --> 0:03:58.000 forget to add Bigelow's Constant Comment Tea Blend to your 0:03:58.000 --> 0:04:02.120 shopping list. It's been lended by the Bigelow family for 0:04:02.320 --> 0:04:06.400 three generations, and you'll taste the love they add in 0:04:06.520 --> 0:04:10.560 every cup. Our guest on Today's Love Someone is Jen 0:04:10.720 --> 0:04:13.440 hat Maker. I was so happy to see you and 0:04:13.480 --> 0:04:16.560 I gotta tell you. When your name first popped up 0:04:17.279 --> 0:04:20.560 in social media a couple of years ago, I'm like, oh, 0:04:20.600 --> 0:04:25.279 she makes hats. I know. I thought it was like 0:04:25.320 --> 0:04:28.720 your moniker. And then I get a little research that 0:04:28.800 --> 0:04:33.120 she doesn't make hats. That's right, she makes she heals hearts, 0:04:33.400 --> 0:04:38.039 and she inspires people and uh, and so I kind 0:04:38.080 --> 0:04:42.640 of became a quiet fan. Um. I wouldn't say I 0:04:42.680 --> 0:04:47.000 stopped you, but I did. And because I have a 0:04:47.120 --> 0:04:54.000 very large, interracial, intercultural, intergenerational family, you were one of 0:04:54.040 --> 0:04:59.000 the closest people I had seen to representing a little 0:04:59.000 --> 0:05:01.800 bit of my life. Yep. How many of your five 0:05:01.880 --> 0:05:07.839 are girls? Two girls, two girls? Three voice? I have eight? Yeah, yeah, 0:05:07.960 --> 0:05:11.599 and they don't pull punches. Oh godly, they do not 0:05:11.720 --> 0:05:15.279 even care, like no, absolutely, and they're not impressed. Nobody's 0:05:15.279 --> 0:05:19.880 impressed here. Nobody's like, um my, we we have a 0:05:19.920 --> 0:05:22.240 group chat is unsure you do too. So it's me 0:05:22.279 --> 0:05:25.280 and my five kids, and it's always popping off with 0:05:25.320 --> 0:05:30.040 like nonsense and sarcasm and dark humor. And my son 0:05:30.160 --> 0:05:34.040 Caleb his twenty, sent a meme around that said it 0:05:34.160 --> 0:05:36.680 just had a picture of like some weird looking woman 0:05:36.800 --> 0:05:40.240 and it was like when somebody you never even heard of, 0:05:40.800 --> 0:05:43.480 um is a New York Times bestseller and you're like, 0:05:43.560 --> 0:05:45.800 I never even heard of that book. This is clearly 0:05:45.839 --> 0:05:49.600 directed at their mom. And I'm like, first of all, rude, Um. 0:05:49.720 --> 0:05:52.880 Second of all, you're welcome. I'm sending you do going 0:05:53.040 --> 0:05:56.920 to college. Yeah, because mom's book. Thank you, thank you. 0:05:57.320 --> 0:06:00.800 But they're like so unimpressed, like whatever, mom, Um, Jim 0:06:00.920 --> 0:06:05.839 Garner um endorsed my cookbook and we've become friends anyway. 0:06:05.880 --> 0:06:09.360 My kids are impressed about that, but still rude. They're like, Mom, 0:06:09.360 --> 0:06:14.240 it's so weird that Jin Garner like endorsed cook They're like, 0:06:14.279 --> 0:06:17.839 she must feel sorry for you. I'm like, okay, thanks, thanks, 0:06:18.800 --> 0:06:21.520 even more cold blooded than mine. I got to say. 0:06:25.080 --> 0:06:27.240 You know, they come by it. Honestly, I can't even 0:06:27.240 --> 0:06:31.960 be mad at my kids. Um. They are so cayenne spicy, 0:06:32.160 --> 0:06:34.120 but they got it for me. I mean, there is 0:06:34.160 --> 0:06:37.680 no way we actually thought. I actually thought, you know what, 0:06:37.720 --> 0:06:40.119 I'm going to end up with at least one nice, 0:06:40.400 --> 0:06:42.320 like sweet kid, like at least one of them will 0:06:42.360 --> 0:06:45.040 be precious because we're gonna adopt, right, so we've got 0:06:45.120 --> 0:06:47.960 to adopted kids. I'm like, they don't they're not spoiled 0:06:47.960 --> 0:06:50.760 by our d n A. That's right, they're gonna come 0:06:50.800 --> 0:06:53.600 in sweet. Oh no, no, no, they're calliane hot. So 0:06:54.080 --> 0:06:58.400 I couldn't even adopt precious like we just are. We 0:06:58.520 --> 0:07:01.560 are just what we are. And I'm telling you so 0:07:01.640 --> 0:07:04.840 yours are almost grown though? How old your youngest sixteen? Yeah? 0:07:05.520 --> 0:07:07.360 What are you doing? You need two or three more? 0:07:08.440 --> 0:07:11.720 Go Delilah. Now I can call you up. I can 0:07:11.760 --> 0:07:15.160 hook you up. Do not manifest that into this universe. 0:07:16.120 --> 0:07:18.840 I've been parenting since I was twenty three. I Um, 0:07:18.840 --> 0:07:21.760 what's so weird for me right now? I mean absolutely 0:07:22.440 --> 0:07:26.480 bizarre world? Is that my fourth kid, Ben as a 0:07:26.480 --> 0:07:29.520 freshman of college, so he moved out in August. And 0:07:29.600 --> 0:07:32.520 my fifth kid, Remy, who's a junior, is doing her 0:07:32.600 --> 0:07:36.280 junior year in Spain as a foreign exchange student. My point, 0:07:36.600 --> 0:07:42.240 nobody lives here right now, nobody. I'm child. I gotta 0:07:42.320 --> 0:07:47.520 hook you up. I gotta hook you I don't know 0:07:47.520 --> 0:07:49.040 how to be, like, I don't know what to do. 0:07:49.080 --> 0:07:50.680 I don't know. We don't even know how to cook, 0:07:51.520 --> 0:07:54.240 Like how do you cook for one person? I don't 0:07:54.280 --> 0:07:56.560 you know what I do as I eat yogurt or 0:07:56.640 --> 0:07:58.640 I'm just like, I don't want to make a I 0:07:58.640 --> 0:08:00.720 don't know what to do with myself, so I go 0:08:00.840 --> 0:08:06.120 to hummus on on flower tortillas. I'm as right. I 0:08:06.160 --> 0:08:09.600 had hammas and cucumbers for lunch hummus on flower tortillas 0:08:09.600 --> 0:08:12.480 when I'm alone. But I'm never alone, so I don't 0:08:12.480 --> 0:08:16.280 get that very often. Well, frankly, all my kids live 0:08:16.320 --> 0:08:19.600 in Austin, all and my brother and his wife and 0:08:19.640 --> 0:08:23.840 their little sons who were preschoolers, they are five minutes away. 0:08:23.880 --> 0:08:26.160 So that's what I do. They call them and say, 0:08:26.360 --> 0:08:28.640 I've made an entire dinner. Would you like him? I 0:08:28.760 --> 0:08:31.240 made a butterboard with Tricia year, would come and share 0:08:31.280 --> 0:08:33.400 it with me? That's just come and share it, like, 0:08:33.440 --> 0:08:37.600 I'm exactly right, that's not untrue. And so I'm actually 0:08:37.640 --> 0:08:41.320 gonna do a butterboard this year for the for the family. Yeah, 0:08:41.440 --> 0:08:43.920 I think for the years, I think we'll pay attention 0:08:43.960 --> 0:08:46.560 to that. Because people got like real wild about that trend. 0:08:46.800 --> 0:08:49.520 I was thinking, who wouldn't want this? I want to 0:08:49.600 --> 0:08:53.760 dread their bread with butter and olive oil and garlic. 0:08:54.520 --> 0:08:57.240 Peopoth don't love well, they either love it or hate it. 0:08:57.520 --> 0:09:00.480 But the haters are like, that is so gross. I'm like, 0:09:00.559 --> 0:09:04.280 what is gross about butter? It's delicious. It's like, look 0:09:04.320 --> 0:09:06.079 at all this stuff we put on it. It's now 0:09:06.080 --> 0:09:09.560 it's even better. It's fancy butter um. But no, they're like, 0:09:09.640 --> 0:09:13.559 I don't like it. I'm like, well, yeah, well you're 0:09:13.600 --> 0:09:17.880 a portion more butter for me. People they probably wouldn't like. 0:09:17.920 --> 0:09:21.800 I saw a recipe for you put caramels like were 0:09:21.840 --> 0:09:25.320 there's candy in a pan with butter, lots of butter 0:09:25.600 --> 0:09:29.640 that you throw a popcorn in it and you pop 0:09:29.720 --> 0:09:33.240 the popcorn with the were there's caramels melted with the butter. 0:09:33.400 --> 0:09:36.920 I'm like, oh yeah, oh yeah, try it. Not yet, 0:09:36.960 --> 0:09:40.040 I just saw it. I'm like, oh yeah, mama's doing that. 0:09:40.960 --> 0:09:42.960 But we can't do that. I can get behind. We 0:09:43.000 --> 0:09:44.960 can't do that for a movie night because that will 0:09:45.000 --> 0:09:48.680 make a huge mess all over everything. So true. And 0:09:48.720 --> 0:09:51.320 I have a real history of burning caramel. I just 0:09:51.400 --> 0:09:54.000 can't quite get it right. And so the smell of 0:09:54.120 --> 0:09:57.120 scorched caramel is so like, I have such muscle memory 0:09:57.120 --> 0:09:59.120 for it because I just I can't do it. Like 0:09:59.160 --> 0:10:01.199 I want to make toffee eat what I have is burned, 0:10:01.520 --> 0:10:04.360 but I just cannot. This is outside of my skill set, 0:10:04.520 --> 0:10:07.120 and so I am willing to try your trend and 0:10:07.160 --> 0:10:09.959 I will like send my notes okay, but we'll try it. 0:10:10.480 --> 0:10:13.560 Try it. Yeah. So that's about the only candy I 0:10:13.640 --> 0:10:17.760 make is Christmas crack. Have you made that with the 0:10:17.800 --> 0:10:21.200 crackers and the toffee? And I could eat gallons of it? 0:10:21.400 --> 0:10:24.640 I do eat gallons. I do. Yeah. Have you had 0:10:24.640 --> 0:10:28.360 it where you smash the peppermint candy on top? Absolutely? 0:10:28.400 --> 0:10:31.080 And it's so good there's no bad iteration of it, 0:10:31.120 --> 0:10:34.079 Like every version of the Christmas crack? I want to 0:10:34.120 --> 0:10:37.560 have it. And I'm not even really a distorted person. 0:10:37.600 --> 0:10:39.280 I'm not a sweet person. I don't make a lot 0:10:39.280 --> 0:10:41.880 of sweets. I don't bake, but that stuff with the 0:10:41.960 --> 0:10:47.800 salty crack. Yeah, and if you put a little sea 0:10:47.840 --> 0:10:50.959 salt on top of it as the chocolate melting, yeah 0:10:51.600 --> 0:10:55.760 the best. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I did many many batches 0:10:55.800 --> 0:10:59.559 of Christmas crack for Christmas gifts. We go down to 0:10:59.640 --> 0:11:03.000 the thrift stores and I buy like plates, Christmas plates, 0:11:03.960 --> 0:11:06.880 you know, for a quarter apiece, and then wash them 0:11:06.880 --> 0:11:08.880 and load them up with a Christmas crack and wrap 0:11:08.920 --> 0:11:13.000 them up to the plastic and give them. That is 0:11:13.040 --> 0:11:17.240 such a cute idea. Look how cute you are as 0:11:17.400 --> 0:11:19.920 you were being darling when you do that. I am 0:11:19.920 --> 0:11:23.960 the thrift store queen, Like, what do you what are 0:11:24.000 --> 0:11:26.800 you on the prowl for when you're thrift ng Because 0:11:26.880 --> 0:11:31.400 generally good thrifts have a few categories that they specialize in. 0:11:32.360 --> 0:11:35.720 Art supplies, always art supplies. Never enough art supplies in 0:11:35.720 --> 0:11:40.319 the world. There's never enough paint or paint brushes or 0:11:41.200 --> 0:11:45.760 because unlike you who stopped after five, I kept going 0:11:46.480 --> 0:11:49.360 and yeah, so I've you know, I've got a house 0:11:49.400 --> 0:11:54.040 full of littles, and so pipe cleaners and beads. Pipe 0:11:54.080 --> 0:11:56.480 cleaners and beads will keep a six year old entertained 0:11:56.559 --> 0:12:01.000 for an hour. My nephews are two four, and I 0:12:01.080 --> 0:12:05.840 have six drawers of art supplies. And it's just it's 0:12:06.120 --> 0:12:09.240 endless fun. It doesn't matter what it is. Table cloth, 0:12:09.280 --> 0:12:11.920 no matter what it is. Yeah, just put it out, plastic, 0:12:11.960 --> 0:12:15.560 tablecloth down, put it out. No glitter though I stopped 0:12:15.559 --> 0:12:20.160 at the gloves. Oh so anti glitter. If you come 0:12:20.240 --> 0:12:23.160 to my house, I don't have nice furniture. I don't 0:12:23.160 --> 0:12:27.680 have pitching dishes or plates. Um literally, they'll just break 0:12:27.679 --> 0:12:31.000 them they're gonna get broken. And they take the nice 0:12:31.160 --> 0:12:33.320 utensils when I have them, they take them in their 0:12:33.400 --> 0:12:37.560 lunch box, like to basketball practice, and if they don't 0:12:37.600 --> 0:12:41.000 come home with them. So why, okay, isn't that the 0:12:41.040 --> 0:12:45.240 weirdest thing? I like, really want I want to analytics 0:12:45.240 --> 0:12:47.920 on this. And in my house when all the kids 0:12:47.920 --> 0:12:50.880 lived here, You're so right about the utensils, And for me, 0:12:51.040 --> 0:12:55.439 it was almost exclusively forks. So I would have three 0:12:55.880 --> 0:13:00.400 d knives literally anywhere, like we just these are the 0:13:00.400 --> 0:13:02.240 two we have. Who gets them? The rest of you, 0:13:02.280 --> 0:13:04.320 I don't know, eat with your hands like a bear. Like. 0:13:05.080 --> 0:13:07.520 It was just so weird. And now that they're all gone, 0:13:07.760 --> 0:13:10.160 I have no I have forks and you don't. Else, 0:13:10.160 --> 0:13:12.719 I'll have cups and they live in the kitchen where 0:13:12.720 --> 0:13:15.480 they belong. It's the weirdest phenomenon. I'm like, look at 0:13:15.480 --> 0:13:18.480 all these cups I have. They're not under beds, they're 0:13:18.520 --> 0:13:21.400 not just propped up next to the upstairs bathroom sink. 0:13:21.640 --> 0:13:23.360 They just live on the shelf where they belong. It's 0:13:23.360 --> 0:13:25.640 a miracle. Look at this. Yeah, I'm not there yet. 0:13:26.320 --> 0:13:28.600 I will be a thousand years old when I'm there, 0:13:28.800 --> 0:13:38.640 I will be Enthuselah. Yeah, so you said you were 0:13:38.640 --> 0:13:41.679 twenty three when you started parenting. That's right. I had 0:13:41.679 --> 0:13:44.040 my first time when else twenty three. I was twenty one. 0:13:44.280 --> 0:13:47.920 I married a man that had two children, and um, 0:13:48.040 --> 0:13:50.440 then we had a baby together and so it was 0:13:50.520 --> 0:13:54.040 just me and my son for several years, and I 0:13:54.120 --> 0:13:57.520 was like, hey, god, I really want more children. I 0:13:57.600 --> 0:14:00.200 really want more children. And the doctor said, that's not 0:14:00.360 --> 0:14:05.200 probably going to happen. So, um, you know, we've got options, 0:14:05.240 --> 0:14:08.400 there's medical intervention or whatever. That's right. I mean, not 0:14:08.520 --> 0:14:10.800 to that extent, but I came from a big family 0:14:11.640 --> 0:14:14.320 and then I created a big family, and so big 0:14:14.360 --> 0:14:17.960 family energy is just all I know. I don't any 0:14:18.000 --> 0:14:21.160 time that we were ever out in the world and 0:14:21.200 --> 0:14:23.600 I would see a sweet little family with like their 0:14:24.040 --> 0:14:26.360 one or two little kids and they're at the restaurant 0:14:26.360 --> 0:14:29.880 and everybody's quietly, I would just be like, what is 0:14:29.880 --> 0:14:33.320 that even happening? What is that even? Like? What is 0:14:33.360 --> 0:14:36.960 their world? Like? Why aren't they all yelling and like 0:14:37.240 --> 0:14:40.400 hollering it or like like I do with my sisters 0:14:40.400 --> 0:14:43.000 and brother talking over each other, and somehow we hear 0:14:43.040 --> 0:14:45.360 it all like no one's missing a word, but we 0:14:45.400 --> 0:14:50.040 can all talk at once and still can be communicating 0:14:50.080 --> 0:14:53.080 like on the nose, and everybody else observing is just 0:14:53.120 --> 0:14:56.320 like this is overwhelming. I'm like, I it's it is, 0:14:56.520 --> 0:14:59.800 it is. You are right, it is, um, But Christmas 0:15:00.120 --> 0:15:02.760 your house, Holidays at your house, birthdays at your house 0:15:03.160 --> 0:15:06.480 look like yeah, wild, So what are you working on? 0:15:06.640 --> 0:15:10.480 You have a cookbook that's out Tell me about that, 0:15:11.080 --> 0:15:14.240 and that is comprising all my hours of all my 0:15:14.320 --> 0:15:16.040 days right now. It just came out. It just came 0:15:16.040 --> 0:15:19.320 out like three weeks ago, a feeding that and it's 0:15:19.320 --> 0:15:21.440 called Feed These People. And it was just so fun. 0:15:21.600 --> 0:15:24.000 I mean, that's what I do. That's my life as 0:15:24.040 --> 0:15:28.440 I feed these people. And so it's funny and it's obnoxious. 0:15:28.480 --> 0:15:31.200 It's got a lot of swear words in it. Um. 0:15:31.240 --> 0:15:34.200 It was so fun to write. It's outside my normal genre, 0:15:34.240 --> 0:15:38.240 you know, I normally right, nonfiction books for women, you know, 0:15:38.320 --> 0:15:42.440 kind of in empowerment space and like emotional and spiritual 0:15:42.440 --> 0:15:45.360 development space and all that, um and this so this 0:15:45.440 --> 0:15:48.320 was a real departure from my normal thing. I've been 0:15:48.360 --> 0:15:51.880 writing about food online for years and years and years, 0:15:51.960 --> 0:15:56.200 just but in an obnoxious way. And my community was like, gen, 0:15:57.360 --> 0:15:59.880 we want you to write us a cookbook, but don't 0:16:00.120 --> 0:16:02.840 get good do it just like this the way that 0:16:02.880 --> 0:16:05.920 you write about it, like on on social media, that's 0:16:05.920 --> 0:16:07.520 how we want you to write your cookbook. And I'm like, 0:16:07.520 --> 0:16:09.080 first of all, I think that's a little rude, but 0:16:09.120 --> 0:16:14.400 I know what you mean, m because they're long, rambly, hilarious, nonsense, 0:16:14.960 --> 0:16:18.600 very sketchy quantities um And it's just so you measure 0:16:18.720 --> 0:16:23.600 like I do, where it's like like some yeah, some 0:16:23.600 --> 0:16:26.800 some taste or and then add some more yeah you 0:16:27.120 --> 0:16:31.960 like some more? Um so yeah, my editor everybody's like, Delilah, 0:16:31.960 --> 0:16:34.720 you cook all the time, like I cook for at 0:16:34.840 --> 0:16:37.880 least eight to ten people every day of my life. 0:16:38.400 --> 0:16:39.800 They're like, why don't you why don't you have a 0:16:39.800 --> 0:16:43.680 cookbook at I'm like, no, no, because how would I 0:16:43.760 --> 0:16:47.120 like people have to be able to follow a recipe 0:16:47.440 --> 0:16:51.720 that's right through all my recipes that I just make. 0:16:52.040 --> 0:16:55.560 I'm like an intuitive cook and um, did you have 0:16:55.600 --> 0:16:58.800 somebody measure what it was for you? I had to 0:16:58.840 --> 0:17:01.360 keep a notebook right and I can't do that. I 0:17:01.440 --> 0:17:04.600 can do right down, Like I would just grab how 0:17:04.680 --> 0:17:06.760 much would you use jen just like if you were 0:17:06.760 --> 0:17:08.119 just doing it, I would grab it, and then I 0:17:08.119 --> 0:17:11.159 would be like, how much is this? Yeah, that's exactly 0:17:11.680 --> 0:17:15.439 reverse engineer. I can't do a recipe. I can't do it. 0:17:15.640 --> 0:17:18.040 I can't. I can't do it. So I'll just tell 0:17:18.119 --> 0:17:22.920 people to go get Jen hat Makers book. And I'm sure, like, 0:17:23.520 --> 0:17:26.920 is there a recipe for your lasagna? Is there? There's 0:17:26.920 --> 0:17:29.600 a pasta bake. I call it a lazy lasagna. That's 0:17:29.640 --> 0:17:32.280 in the chapter. I have a chapter called food when 0:17:32.320 --> 0:17:35.000 You Have No More Damns to Give, and that one's 0:17:35.040 --> 0:17:38.240 in there. It's like a lazy lasagna. Um, this is 0:17:38.240 --> 0:17:40.240 like a it's a cookbook for normals. You know. It's 0:17:40.280 --> 0:17:42.760 not a chef's cookbook. This is just for people like 0:17:42.800 --> 0:17:44.600 me and you who just stand in our kitchen and 0:17:44.760 --> 0:17:48.440 cook for the people that live here. Um so, and 0:17:48.440 --> 0:17:51.960 and nothing's hard, nothing's fancy. This is not I'm not credential, 0:17:52.000 --> 0:17:56.240 I'm unqualified. Like this is just really yummy food for 0:17:56.359 --> 0:17:59.600 normal families. And so it was really a blast. I 0:17:59.680 --> 0:18:02.359 loved it. So I'm I just I just came off tour. 0:18:02.440 --> 0:18:04.880 I just got home like two days ago, um from 0:18:04.880 --> 0:18:06.800 the book tour, and it was wild. We slept on 0:18:06.840 --> 0:18:09.040 a bus. I have decided I'm too old for that, 0:18:09.320 --> 0:18:11.960 and so um that was a new bit of data 0:18:12.080 --> 0:18:16.280 that I procured. Yeah. I I have those realizations all 0:18:16.320 --> 0:18:19.280 the time where I'm like, when I go to Africa, 0:18:19.359 --> 0:18:22.000 stay in a refugee camp, you know, we we sleep 0:18:22.000 --> 0:18:24.919 on the floor on mats or whatever, and and and 0:18:25.000 --> 0:18:29.119 I am too old for that, Like my body is like, 0:18:29.200 --> 0:18:32.760 oh jin oh, come on, like you're forty eight. Let's 0:18:32.760 --> 0:18:36.040 think us went through let's think. Let's think clearly. So 0:18:36.400 --> 0:18:40.840 bus on a couch on a bus? Yeah, no, because 0:18:40.840 --> 0:18:44.960 you have to look good on TV. Yeah, we were 0:18:44.960 --> 0:18:47.120 doing live events, like we were in a different city 0:18:47.200 --> 0:18:50.439 every night, so it was like packed theaters, like you know, 0:18:50.560 --> 0:18:54.040 thousand plus women in every location, plus the handful of 0:18:54.119 --> 0:18:58.199 rogueman who come to everything. And um, yeah because you're 0:18:58.960 --> 0:19:01.640 because you have it's because of their wives. Let's be honest. 0:19:01.680 --> 0:19:04.440 Their wives are like, look, these poor husbands are like, look, 0:19:04.640 --> 0:19:09.000 my wife has been reading me against my will. You're 0:19:09.000 --> 0:19:13.240 writing for so many years, like while I'm drug drug 0:19:13.320 --> 0:19:16.280 me to this. Yeah, they're like, I'm coming. I deserve 0:19:16.400 --> 0:19:18.199 to get to see you because I have been like 0:19:18.240 --> 0:19:20.920 a reluctant reader all these years via my wife. And 0:19:20.960 --> 0:19:24.520 so I'm like coming in everybody'sing, isn't gin incredible? Will 0:19:24.600 --> 0:19:29.000 continue our conversation right after I sing the praises of 0:19:29.040 --> 0:19:34.680 today's podcast sponsor. This podcast is sponsored by a company 0:19:34.880 --> 0:19:40.439 solving a family problem. 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So when a man calls me and 0:21:54.280 --> 0:21:55.960 he's ready to pour out his heart, he says, I 0:21:56.000 --> 0:21:58.960 want to play a song for Jen. She's my rock. 0:22:01.160 --> 0:22:06.320 That's it. That's their story. It's the beginning, middle, and 0:22:06.359 --> 0:22:11.280 in the whole thing. In thirty seconds, she's my rock. 0:22:12.160 --> 0:22:14.080 And so I'll lead them down the path. You know, 0:22:14.160 --> 0:22:17.920 I'll say, well, what is it? What qualities does jin 0:22:18.200 --> 0:22:23.520 embody that makes her your your solid place, your touchstone. 0:22:24.520 --> 0:22:30.440 She's not my touchstone, She's a rock. She's my rock. Okay, Okay, thanks, 0:22:30.880 --> 0:22:35.000 thanks a lot, and then you know, like riveting listening 0:22:35.200 --> 0:22:39.040 exactly their hearts are in it. Their hearts are in it. 0:22:39.160 --> 0:22:41.440 But so then I'll have to do a double up. 0:22:41.480 --> 0:22:44.480 I call them where you know. Then then Susan, I'll 0:22:44.520 --> 0:22:47.200 collin before I even say hi, welcome to the Delily Show. 0:22:47.480 --> 0:22:51.920 She's just told me her entire life story and why 0:22:52.040 --> 0:22:54.879 she wants a song for her boyfriend, and you know, 0:22:55.280 --> 0:22:57.760 and so then I'll weave in. I just talked to 0:22:57.960 --> 0:23:01.400 Billy who wanted a song for Jin because Jesus rock, 0:23:01.960 --> 0:23:05.720 you know, And I'll double it up. I love it. Listen, men, 0:23:05.960 --> 0:23:08.080 and I know this and so to you because we've 0:23:08.160 --> 0:23:11.240 raised to them. And so I have those young adult 0:23:11.320 --> 0:23:14.800 boys and I think we're talking about my current husband 0:23:18.960 --> 0:23:24.199 nice one. Boys. Boys have all the same feelings as girls. 0:23:24.440 --> 0:23:30.240 They're goopy, they're squishy, they're soft, they cry when they 0:23:30.240 --> 0:23:34.680 get broken up with their wildly sentimental Now they may 0:23:34.680 --> 0:23:37.080 not wrap it with as much language and as many 0:23:37.160 --> 0:23:40.560 words as women do, but it is all in there. 0:23:40.600 --> 0:23:44.360 I'm telling you those boys right pages of like love notes, 0:23:44.600 --> 0:23:47.120 and they make they need to call me because I'm 0:23:47.480 --> 0:23:50.600 getting is she's my rock. They need to be the 0:23:50.640 --> 0:23:52.879 ones to call me. They need to call me and 0:23:52.920 --> 0:23:56.680 read that love letter to me telling you. I'm telling 0:23:56.720 --> 0:24:00.680 you I've watched him like stay in their for four 0:24:00.800 --> 0:24:05.119 days after a particular hard break up. Their boys are boys, 0:24:05.160 --> 0:24:08.640 could be pretty tender to they They're very in fact, 0:24:08.680 --> 0:24:12.280 I think they are sometimes more tender, but because there's 0:24:12.280 --> 0:24:15.200 so much pressure on them to be tough that that 0:24:15.240 --> 0:24:18.480 causes quite a conflict. You know, in the world's demanding 0:24:18.520 --> 0:24:21.639 that you be this when in reality you've got a 0:24:21.720 --> 0:24:28.280 sweet sweetheart. At that's hard. It is hard. I completely agree. 0:24:28.800 --> 0:24:33.280 Um So keeping them soft and able to be vulnerable 0:24:33.320 --> 0:24:35.159 at least in their own home and be able to 0:24:35.160 --> 0:24:38.159 talk about their feelings without getting shamed for it or 0:24:38.720 --> 0:24:40.760