WEBVTT - Reflecting on the Ups and Downs of This Year 0:00:02.759 --> 0:00:08.000 Pim Benilo's Welcome guys, Welcome back to your show. I 0:00:08.039 --> 0:00:11.360 am your girl, Amarala and you're listening to Exactly Amada, 0:00:11.440 --> 0:00:13.440 a production of iHeart and thank you. 0:00:13.480 --> 0:00:15.480 Thank you so much for tuning in as usual. 0:00:15.560 --> 0:00:18.360 Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast on your favorite platform, 0:00:18.760 --> 0:00:21.040 Rate us five stars and leave us a review. 0:00:21.640 --> 0:00:23.320 We love to go out. 0:00:23.160 --> 0:00:25.320 There and check it out and read it. And I've 0:00:25.360 --> 0:00:27.560 been reading all your comments. Anyways, head over to the 0:00:27.560 --> 0:00:29.600 YouTube where you can also watch or listen to the 0:00:29.640 --> 0:00:32.839 podcast by searching for micro through that podcast and clicking 0:00:32.880 --> 0:00:37.199 on Exactly Amada motive. This is I don't want to 0:00:37.200 --> 0:00:40.240 say this is the end, Biddle Mahomedo. We have arrived 0:00:40.280 --> 0:00:43.440 to that place in life where we just want to 0:00:43.520 --> 0:00:46.000 reminisce and talk about all the great things that has 0:00:46.080 --> 0:00:48.920 happened this year, all the great things, good and bad 0:00:49.400 --> 0:00:52.000 things that I have lived this year. And to do that, 0:00:52.280 --> 0:00:54.840 I first of all want to give him all the 0:00:54.840 --> 0:00:56.920 problems in the world. Thank him so much for being 0:00:56.960 --> 0:01:01.160 an amazing producer of friend, for giving me amazing ideas, 0:01:01.200 --> 0:01:02.440 for being a support system. 0:01:02.800 --> 0:01:05.960 And this show couldn't be possible without Alex. 0:01:06.120 --> 0:01:09.160 Alex, thank you so much for being on my episode, 0:01:09.240 --> 0:01:11.200 my last episode of this season. 0:01:11.319 --> 0:01:11.959 How you doing. 0:01:12.160 --> 0:01:15.559 I'm good. It's been a whole year. Can you believe that. 0:01:15.520 --> 0:01:17.320 Nio guy at it? It has been a lot of 0:01:17.520 --> 0:01:20.280 and in this year, we've done the most. 0:01:20.760 --> 0:01:23.400 Yeah, it's it's kind of fun to have have all 0:01:23.440 --> 0:01:26.600 this time and just you know, think about everything that 0:01:26.880 --> 0:01:29.680 you have done and everything that you know you continue 0:01:29.680 --> 0:01:32.240 to do moving forward into the new year. We talked 0:01:32.240 --> 0:01:34.360 about it last season, and I'm just happy to be 0:01:34.400 --> 0:01:36.560 here with you, and I have some great questions that 0:01:36.720 --> 0:01:37.960 I'm going to throw your way as well. 0:01:37.959 --> 0:01:40.199 Oh, go for it, go for it, because I'm sure 0:01:40.280 --> 0:01:41.759 that the people wants to now. 0:01:42.240 --> 0:01:46.000 And honestly, I'm excited because I feel like I remember 0:01:46.000 --> 0:01:50.800 my first episode on exactly Amada my first season. Til now, 0:01:51.040 --> 0:01:54.440 we've recorded so many episodes, We've done so many things. 0:01:54.480 --> 0:01:56.800 We have grown so much, to the point that I 0:01:57.440 --> 0:02:00.360 even have children now, Like, so much has happened since 0:02:00.400 --> 0:02:01.240 I started to Now. 0:02:01.680 --> 0:02:04.680 I love the evolution, I love the growth. So definitely 0:02:04.760 --> 0:02:05.840 let me know what you have in mine. 0:02:06.040 --> 0:02:08.960 Yeah, for sure. And this season has been very mommy centric. 0:02:09.120 --> 0:02:12.120 Yeah, and Arlene, I can't forget about Arlene. Arlene is 0:02:12.120 --> 0:02:15.200 such an important part of my podcast. Yes, and you know, 0:02:15.320 --> 0:02:19.320 unfortunately unfortunately for me, but you know, happily for her. 0:02:19.800 --> 0:02:23.040 She also became a mother during this season. Yeah, and 0:02:23.480 --> 0:02:26.280 so much has happened during this time. I wish her 0:02:26.320 --> 0:02:28.960 nothing but the best and her baby. I wish it 0:02:29.000 --> 0:02:30.680 I could see her, but I know that she's enjoyed 0:02:30.680 --> 0:02:32.079 this moment with her with her baby. 0:02:32.120 --> 0:02:34.280 So anyways, we love you, Arlene. 0:02:34.880 --> 0:02:36.760 Yeah, shout out to Arline. We love you. All right, 0:02:36.880 --> 0:02:39.560 I'm going to start off real quick. This is this 0:02:39.600 --> 0:02:43.080 is a basic question that I thought would start to 0:02:43.120 --> 0:02:46.040 show off. What do you think we're the most significant 0:02:46.120 --> 0:02:49.160 milestones or achievements that you reach this year. 0:02:49.440 --> 0:02:54.040 Honestly, I think that this year specifically, it's been about 0:02:54.120 --> 0:02:58.400 growth for me, growth in my growth as a person, 0:02:58.960 --> 0:03:01.799 learning how to choose better my battles or the things 0:03:01.880 --> 0:03:03.000 that matter and don't. 0:03:03.520 --> 0:03:04.600 I think maturity. 0:03:05.760 --> 0:03:08.480 This year it's been about a lot of maturity because 0:03:08.520 --> 0:03:10.480 a lot of the things that used to matter before 0:03:11.360 --> 0:03:15.760 now obviously they don't. And just knowing when to step 0:03:15.800 --> 0:03:17.480 in and step out. You know, I think that's been 0:03:17.520 --> 0:03:19.919 a big accomplishment for me because sometimes I would take 0:03:19.960 --> 0:03:20.880 things too personal. 0:03:21.120 --> 0:03:23.680 I would do the most. Anything could make me fall apart. 0:03:23.880 --> 0:03:26.040 And now it's like, bro, it's not that serious, you know, 0:03:26.120 --> 0:03:28.919 like this is not even worth my energy and time. 0:03:28.960 --> 0:03:31.080 And I think that just comes with life experience. You know, 0:03:31.440 --> 0:03:33.720 that's how you know you're maturing and you're growing. I 0:03:33.760 --> 0:03:38.040 definitely would say, but no, obviously, you know, this year 0:03:38.280 --> 0:03:40.400 it's really been about, you know, motherhood. 0:03:40.800 --> 0:03:42.680 I didn't when I had my daughters last year. 0:03:43.080 --> 0:03:45.240 It was a thing, but they were just laying there 0:03:45.240 --> 0:03:47.400 for the most part, right their baby bottle. 0:03:47.440 --> 0:03:49.680 They lay there, You change the diapers, blah blah blah, 0:03:49.760 --> 0:03:50.520 and it's great. 0:03:50.680 --> 0:03:53.080 But now that they jump around and move around and 0:03:53.120 --> 0:03:54.440 I have to travel and I have to go to work, 0:03:54.440 --> 0:03:56.080 and I have to do my podcast and I have 0:03:56.120 --> 0:03:58.040 to do this, and I don't have a nanny anymore, 0:03:58.040 --> 0:04:00.440 and it's just like now it's like when I really 0:04:00.440 --> 0:04:04.200 sink in, like, you got kids, so doing that and 0:04:04.240 --> 0:04:07.640 obviously the financial responsibility of hustling and figuring you know, 0:04:07.720 --> 0:04:11.720 other things out to maintain not one but two more mouths. 0:04:11.280 --> 0:04:15.640 It's it's a lot. And if any more milestones, well 0:04:16.279 --> 0:04:18.560 in my professional life, I would say, you know, I 0:04:18.600 --> 0:04:22.120 think that I continue to do you know my music, 0:04:22.200 --> 0:04:23.839 I do my podcast. 0:04:23.400 --> 0:04:24.400 I do many other things. 0:04:24.440 --> 0:04:28.360 But I definitely continue to grow my passion for real estate, 0:04:28.640 --> 0:04:32.000 for generational wealth. I just signed off on another property. 0:04:32.000 --> 0:04:35.400 I just purchased another property, a multifamily. This is another 0:04:35.440 --> 0:04:38.960 great way for me to continue the legacy for my children. 0:04:39.360 --> 0:04:41.279 And that's where my mindset is right now. You know, 0:04:41.360 --> 0:04:42.560 investing is really a. 0:04:42.520 --> 0:04:43.359 Big thing for me. 0:04:43.760 --> 0:04:47.599 I'm grateful to know that in my thirty three years 0:04:47.600 --> 0:04:52.520 of life, I have made wise decisions that are looking 0:04:52.560 --> 0:04:53.400 good for my future. 0:04:53.520 --> 0:04:55.960 I love that. For you, that's that's excellent, and that's 0:04:56.000 --> 0:04:59.440 a huge milestone, especially in today's times. Are you buying 0:04:59.480 --> 0:05:02.279 these propert he's hearing the States or in the medical. 0:05:02.120 --> 0:05:03.120 Report hearing the States? 0:05:03.200 --> 0:05:06.320 I well, obviously besides my house, I just bought this 0:05:06.400 --> 0:05:08.640 new investment property, which is I was kind of scared 0:05:08.640 --> 0:05:10.520 because I was, like I hear in America everything is 0:05:10.839 --> 0:05:13.680 more difficult, and they asked for taxes and this and that. 0:05:14.040 --> 0:05:16.480 But you know what I said, I'm just gonna do it. 0:05:16.760 --> 0:05:19.240 I'm gonna do it. Nobody is born knowing stuff. You 0:05:19.320 --> 0:05:22.880 learn through the journey, through the process. There's so many plans, 0:05:22.920 --> 0:05:24.520 so many things that we could do. I also think 0:05:24.520 --> 0:05:26.320 it's important for me to preach this out to the 0:05:26.320 --> 0:05:28.680 people that are listening to me, to the youth. Guys, 0:05:28.680 --> 0:05:31.240 while you're young, while you still can't invest your money 0:05:31.360 --> 0:05:33.760 because God knows, when you get older, you're not gonna 0:05:33.800 --> 0:05:35.640 have the same energy. You're gonna be tired. You're just 0:05:35.680 --> 0:05:38.720 gonna want to rest because God knows I do. And 0:05:38.839 --> 0:05:40.960 you have to sacrifice while you're young, while you can 0:05:41.080 --> 0:05:44.520 while you still have the energy, sacrifice, get your money 0:05:44.600 --> 0:05:46.680 up and invest ver. 0:05:46.960 --> 0:05:49.279 That's that's I mean, that's one of the things that 0:05:49.320 --> 0:05:52.480 we preach here on your show. So I love that. 0:05:53.080 --> 0:05:56.280 Now we talked about the milestones and achievements. Now, did 0:05:56.320 --> 0:06:00.719 you have any challenges or setbacks that you thought you 0:06:00.760 --> 0:06:02.440 weren't going to be able to handle that you kind 0:06:02.440 --> 0:06:03.320 of just plowed through? 0:06:04.040 --> 0:06:06.720 Actually yes, Funny enough, I don't want to get into 0:06:06.760 --> 0:06:11.120 too many details, but I was very afraid because I 0:06:11.160 --> 0:06:13.719 had to confront a big monster for me, which was 0:06:14.240 --> 0:06:16.840 the you know, the father of my children. I think 0:06:16.839 --> 0:06:20.240 that because our personal life was exposed and it was 0:06:20.279 --> 0:06:22.920 so public, there were so many commons, so many things 0:06:22.920 --> 0:06:25.960 that happened. Recently, we did an episode that will be 0:06:26.000 --> 0:06:28.560 airing for Love and Hip Hop, where I hadn't seen 0:06:28.640 --> 0:06:31.320 him in a very long time. My girls were about 0:06:31.320 --> 0:06:33.400 four months the last time I saw him, and I 0:06:33.440 --> 0:06:36.200 recently saw him again and we had a conversation in 0:06:36.240 --> 0:06:39.640 which I was very scared to confront and see him again. 0:06:39.680 --> 0:06:41.120 I didn't know if it was going to, you know, 0:06:41.279 --> 0:06:44.360 go zero to a thousand, and it did go zero 0:06:44.440 --> 0:06:45.000 to a thousand. 0:06:45.040 --> 0:06:46.359 It was very awful. 0:06:46.960 --> 0:06:50.080 I figured out a way to because as a woman 0:06:50.120 --> 0:06:52.359 you have to learn to put your feelings to a 0:06:52.480 --> 0:06:55.520 sign and think as a mother and what's best for 0:06:55.920 --> 0:06:58.560 your children. I can't say too much, but you know, 0:06:59.040 --> 0:07:03.080 some things were had handled and some things will never change. 0:07:03.160 --> 0:07:07.080 And I'm just glad that we were able to have 0:07:07.120 --> 0:07:09.479 a conversation. Whatever it is that needed to be said 0:07:09.600 --> 0:07:13.440 was said. I handled it as maturity as possible in 0:07:13.480 --> 0:07:15.920 that moment, and I think I think that was a 0:07:16.040 --> 0:07:18.280 very important moment for me in my life at this 0:07:18.400 --> 0:07:22.200 moment because it was just a lot. I also think 0:07:22.240 --> 0:07:26.600 that I learned and I dealt with the personal backlash 0:07:26.640 --> 0:07:30.400 of dating people on social you know, publicly on social media. 0:07:30.720 --> 0:07:31.880 I'm not doing that again. 0:07:32.200 --> 0:07:35.040 Let's be very clear. If you see me with somebody 0:07:35.080 --> 0:07:37.800 outside in these streets. Please don't think that I am 0:07:37.880 --> 0:07:39.880 dating them, or they're my man or anything like that. 0:07:40.080 --> 0:07:42.840 Because I've learned to keep my personal life to myself 0:07:42.880 --> 0:07:44.800 as private and as low as possible. 0:07:45.240 --> 0:07:46.800 I'm not never doing that again. 0:07:46.880 --> 0:07:49.480 I think the social media, as much as they can build, 0:07:49.560 --> 0:07:53.480 they can also destroy amazing relationships. I no longer want 0:07:53.560 --> 0:07:57.400 to do it. So I've learned that privacy is essential. 0:07:57.800 --> 0:07:59.960 And I also think that you learned that with maturity 0:08:00.080 --> 0:08:03.240 and growth. You know, life experiences teaches you not everybody 0:08:03.280 --> 0:08:05.480 needs to know your business, Not everybody needs to know 0:08:05.520 --> 0:08:06.320 how happy you are. 0:08:06.480 --> 0:08:09.720 Whatever it is. You just live in that moment and 0:08:09.760 --> 0:08:10.240 that's it. 0:08:18.280 --> 0:08:21.000 That's hard to do it is you know, when everyone's 0:08:21.080 --> 0:08:23.239 up in your business. Which leads me to this question 0:08:23.320 --> 0:08:27.080 for you through all of that, obviously that that was 0:08:27.120 --> 0:08:30.000 pretty you know, crazy for you to sit there and 0:08:30.200 --> 0:08:34.040 film all this. Did you prioritize any self care, any 0:08:34.120 --> 0:08:37.520 mental well being for yourself throughout the year. If you 0:08:37.559 --> 0:08:39.400 did or didn't, how do you think you can improve 0:08:39.440 --> 0:08:39.599 in that? 0:08:40.000 --> 0:08:40.439 You know what? 0:08:40.480 --> 0:08:42.040 And I love that you asked me that because that's 0:08:42.080 --> 0:08:44.120 something I definitely should work on. I don't think that 0:08:44.160 --> 0:08:47.200 I give myself enough time. I remember when I was, 0:08:47.280 --> 0:08:50.600 you know, single and before having children, I would go 0:08:50.600 --> 0:08:52.319 to the gym all the time. I would get facials 0:08:52.360 --> 0:08:54.800 all the time. You know, I was taking more care 0:08:54.880 --> 0:08:58.360 of me the person. And I've never been the going 0:08:58.440 --> 0:09:03.080 out type of girl. Likes been homebody, but I would 0:09:03.320 --> 0:09:05.760 take care of more of me I've gotten And now 0:09:05.760 --> 0:09:07.640 I understand because I remember that at one point in 0:09:07.640 --> 0:09:09.800 life I used to criticize those moms that would abandon 0:09:09.840 --> 0:09:12.320 their bodies and you know, get the bassa and now 0:09:12.360 --> 0:09:15.360 you've gotten fat and you know, wait, I've me now 0:09:15.480 --> 0:09:18.120 more than ever, I understand to be less judgmental because 0:09:18.160 --> 0:09:21.600 now that I'm living through it, I haven't completely abandoned myself, 0:09:21.640 --> 0:09:23.839 but I do see the difference and I do need 0:09:23.880 --> 0:09:25.800 more time for myself. I don't remember the last time 0:09:25.800 --> 0:09:27.800 I was in the gym, you know. Sometimes you know, 0:09:27.920 --> 0:09:29.760 I'm like, oh, I need a petticr. I forgot to 0:09:29.760 --> 0:09:32.680 shave my legs in the past two months. Like you know, 0:09:32.960 --> 0:09:35.240 I'm so busy taking care of everybody else, making sure 0:09:35.240 --> 0:09:37.960 that everybody else is taken care of, not only financially 0:09:38.040 --> 0:09:38.960 handling you know. 0:09:38.960 --> 0:09:43.520 The weight, but emotionally being there for everybody. 0:09:42.960 --> 0:09:46.360 That depends on me, and in that space, I feel 0:09:46.400 --> 0:09:49.040 that I have lost myself. I don't remember the last 0:09:49.040 --> 0:09:51.680 time I went out on a date or I just 0:09:51.679 --> 0:09:54.640 felt myself not only as a person, but as a woman. 0:09:54.880 --> 0:09:55.080 Right. 0:09:55.360 --> 0:09:57.480 I think it's important that the human part of you 0:09:57.600 --> 0:10:00.600 is important. The mother aspect of you is because you're 0:10:00.600 --> 0:10:02.840 supposed to nurture and be there for, you know, to 0:10:02.960 --> 0:10:03.840 take care of some. 0:10:03.840 --> 0:10:04.760 Another human being. 0:10:04.800 --> 0:10:08.520 But the woman within me, I feel like I have 0:10:08.720 --> 0:10:10.680 lost her a little bit, and I really want to 0:10:11.679 --> 0:10:13.240 find her this upcoming year. 0:10:13.600 --> 0:10:17.080 No, that's I mean, listen, you're you're a mother of two. 0:10:17.400 --> 0:10:20.080 It's not easy, right, You're also working very hard to 0:10:20.120 --> 0:10:22.000 maintain a home and a family. You know, you take 0:10:22.040 --> 0:10:24.400 care of mom, so it's not like you know, it's 0:10:24.640 --> 0:10:25.640 it's not. 0:10:25.760 --> 0:10:29.439 Easy My mom, my dad, everybody. 0:10:28.840 --> 0:10:29.920 Oh, your dad too? Yes? 0:10:30.000 --> 0:10:30.200 Yeah? 0:10:30.280 --> 0:10:34.040 Right? Did you maintain a good work life balance? You're 0:10:34.240 --> 0:10:39.880 kind of a crazy worker. You enjoy being busy a lot? 0:10:40.120 --> 0:10:43.920 Or did one aspect dominate over the other? 0:10:45.240 --> 0:10:48.559 I don't think that I enjoy being I'm a workaholic 0:10:48.640 --> 0:10:51.000 by nature because I like to feel that I'm being 0:10:51.040 --> 0:10:53.000 productive with my life. I don't like to feel like, 0:10:53.480 --> 0:10:55.560 you know, a week has passed by and you haven't 0:10:55.559 --> 0:10:57.080 done anything productive with your life. 0:10:57.080 --> 0:10:59.560 And being productive doesn't necessarily always mean financially. 0:10:59.600 --> 0:11:01.960 It can be like I'm gonna do yoga, I'm gonna detox, 0:11:02.000 --> 0:11:04.240 I'm gonna have fruits and water. I'm gonna, you know, 0:11:04.280 --> 0:11:06.839 self care. I am gonna maybe start a business, maybe 0:11:06.840 --> 0:11:09.080 make a call. There could be that one call that 0:11:09.120 --> 0:11:11.760 can change your life. Maybe I'm gonna call five people 0:11:11.800 --> 0:11:13.960 off my phone just to reach out. Maybe I'm gonna 0:11:13.960 --> 0:11:16.040 clean my room. Maybe, you know, I just like to 0:11:16.120 --> 0:11:20.560 feel productive. But the workaholic aspect of me really comes 0:11:20.600 --> 0:11:24.480 because of the financial, you know, weight that I have 0:11:24.600 --> 0:11:28.679 on my shoulders because I have several properties. I have 0:11:28.880 --> 0:11:32.439 like five mortgages besides the two that I have in Miami, 0:11:32.600 --> 0:11:36.079 I have three open mortgages in dr because everything I purchased. 0:11:36.080 --> 0:11:38.400 I'm always doing renovations and this and that, and I 0:11:38.440 --> 0:11:40.760 have kids, and I have my mom is you know, 0:11:40.840 --> 0:11:43.920 unfortunately always in the hospital. There's just so much going 0:11:43.960 --> 0:11:48.679 on that it's like if I stop working, everything falls apart. 0:11:48.800 --> 0:11:51.480 And I had the opportunity recently when I broke my toe, 0:11:51.600 --> 0:11:53.680 I wasn't able to go to a lot of things 0:11:53.800 --> 0:11:56.120 to my foot heels, and I just sat there and 0:11:56.160 --> 0:11:59.760 realized how everybody was just looking at me. Everybody was 0:11:59.800 --> 0:12:01.520 just sitting there looking at me, like, so, what do 0:12:01.600 --> 0:12:04.560 we do now? And I'm like, wait, what, no, no, no, no, 0:12:05.120 --> 0:12:07.280 if something would have happened to me, what do y'all 0:12:07.280 --> 0:12:10.080 do next? Like, So that was one of those moments 0:12:10.080 --> 0:12:12.679 that really put even more pressure on me, like I 0:12:12.720 --> 0:12:16.680 can't stop working as long, no matter how exhausted I am. 0:12:17.160 --> 0:12:19.400 I know that I still have energy within myself that 0:12:19.440 --> 0:12:23.160 I won't have when I'm forty five fifty, So push 0:12:23.240 --> 0:12:25.679 myself as much as I can because that day will come. 0:12:25.720 --> 0:12:28.640 Then I'm really gonna be like, y'all gotta figure this out. 0:12:29.000 --> 0:12:32.240 My girls are also somewhat working, and I know it's 0:12:32.360 --> 0:12:34.640 kind of crazy because they're young, but they do their 0:12:34.640 --> 0:12:37.000 little commercials here and there. They have almost like three 0:12:37.080 --> 0:12:40.480 hundred thousand followers on Instagram. I'm so grateful that they 0:12:40.520 --> 0:12:42.960 love my babies and they're starting to create their platform. 0:12:42.960 --> 0:12:45.560 So eventually those start working, creating their own little money too. 0:12:46.040 --> 0:12:48.520 But all these things are things that as a mother 0:12:48.600 --> 0:12:50.320 and as a woman now I start thinking, like, what 0:12:50.360 --> 0:12:51.800 are you gonna do. What are you gonna do? Where 0:12:51.800 --> 0:12:53.640 do I get money from here? What happens here? 0:12:53.760 --> 0:12:56.400 You know? Do I have to finish my trust? Do 0:12:56.480 --> 0:12:57.840 you have a trust? You know? 0:12:57.920 --> 0:12:59.880 All these are the things that I never thought of 0:13:00.000 --> 0:13:03.600 about now. This year is like is a year. This 0:13:03.720 --> 0:13:06.239 upcoming year for me is a year of getting organized. 0:13:06.320 --> 0:13:09.160 This year, to me was the year of growth. Next year, 0:13:09.200 --> 0:13:11.400 to me is a year of getting organized. Organized in 0:13:11.440 --> 0:13:16.640 every aspect. Organize your finances, Organize your you know, your vision, 0:13:16.800 --> 0:13:22.319 organized your time for yourself, Organize your daughter's schedules. Organization. 0:13:23.600 --> 0:13:26.880 This upcoming year is how I see it for myself. 0:13:27.880 --> 0:13:31.320 So you definitely would say that your work life balances 0:13:31.320 --> 0:13:32.120 are all jacked up. 0:13:32.440 --> 0:13:35.000 It is trash, It is garbage. 0:13:40.840 --> 0:13:44.440 Yeah, it's it's not easy, especially when you're the head 0:13:44.480 --> 0:13:49.880 of the household. You've talked a little bit before about 0:13:49.920 --> 0:13:52.560 your relationship with your dad in past episodes. This season, 0:13:53.679 --> 0:13:57.040 you just mentioned that you are also taking care of dad. Yeah, 0:13:57.280 --> 0:14:00.160 along with your mom. How did your relationship evolve or 0:14:00.200 --> 0:14:03.079 cycle through this year with that whole situation, With that 0:14:03.240 --> 0:14:04.080 being back in the picture. 0:14:04.520 --> 0:14:07.800 You know, I will say that sometimes God, God has 0:14:07.800 --> 0:14:10.240 a funny way of working and he doesn't always give 0:14:10.240 --> 0:14:12.480 you what you want, but he'll give you what you need. 0:14:13.000 --> 0:14:14.240 And I don't think that. 0:14:14.280 --> 0:14:17.400 I'm not sure if I needed him as much as 0:14:17.400 --> 0:14:21.880 he needed me. God gave me the opportunity of allowing 0:14:21.920 --> 0:14:22.880 me to show. 0:14:22.720 --> 0:14:24.600 Him the daughter he missed out on. 0:14:25.480 --> 0:14:29.440 Wow, and he just made things happen in a way 0:14:29.640 --> 0:14:32.680 that it was just it just unfolded in that matter, 0:14:32.800 --> 0:14:35.600 like he lost his job, he lost his boss through 0:14:35.760 --> 0:14:39.160 because of COVID. That forced him to reach out to 0:14:39.200 --> 0:14:41.480 me and be like, I have nowhere to go. 0:14:41.640 --> 0:14:43.240 You know, I need your help. 0:14:43.600 --> 0:14:46.640 And in that moment, I felt like, you know, it 0:14:46.680 --> 0:14:49.480 was my duty as a daughter, regardless of the situation, 0:14:50.160 --> 0:14:53.240 to allow him to come into my home, into my space. 0:14:53.240 --> 0:14:54.840 I would never leave him in the streets, because I 0:14:54.840 --> 0:14:58.280 would never leave a friend. Nonetheless, you know, he created me, 0:14:58.720 --> 0:15:01.880 and him being in my house kind of forced us 0:15:01.880 --> 0:15:04.520 into you know, mingling and having to like, you know. 0:15:04.600 --> 0:15:06.720 Talk to each other a little bit creative bond. 0:15:07.000 --> 0:15:09.040 But I really feel that after I gave birth to 0:15:09.080 --> 0:15:12.360 my daughters, my daughters really have brought us together a 0:15:12.360 --> 0:15:14.760 little bit more, not too much, because I don't feel 0:15:14.760 --> 0:15:16.280 that he's an expressive person. 0:15:16.720 --> 0:15:18.560 He's not the type of person that's gonna tell me, oh, 0:15:18.600 --> 0:15:19.040 I love you. 0:15:19.920 --> 0:15:22.320 He's not gonna hug me. He never hugs me or 0:15:22.840 --> 0:15:25.560 gives me kisses. He'll give me a high five. That's 0:15:25.680 --> 0:15:29.440 like his way. He's a very distant person. I've never felt, 0:15:30.200 --> 0:15:32.560 you know, a hug from my father or like a 0:15:32.600 --> 0:15:34.160 real He's more like, hey. 0:15:34.000 --> 0:15:35.720 How you doing all right? Cool? Boom, all right, you're 0:15:35.760 --> 0:15:37.840 doing a great job. You know, do that all right? Whatever? 0:15:38.080 --> 0:15:40.400 So anyways, did your mom cook type of thing? 0:15:41.240 --> 0:15:43.960 My daughters and I think he's trying to do right 0:15:44.040 --> 0:15:46.440 by them for what he didn't do right by me, 0:15:46.960 --> 0:15:48.320 and that has brought us together. 0:15:48.400 --> 0:15:51.480 So you know, we're still working on it. Some things 0:15:51.480 --> 0:15:52.320 you have to build. 0:15:52.440 --> 0:15:56.880 Some things are happen and born naturally, and with our situation, 0:15:57.040 --> 0:15:57.840 we have to build it. 0:15:58.040 --> 0:16:00.800 That's a lot to take in house, that relationship with 0:16:00.840 --> 0:16:03.920 your daughters. Now with Grandpa being in the picture, how 0:16:03.960 --> 0:16:06.880 different do you see him acting with your kids as 0:16:06.920 --> 0:16:09.280 opposed to how he was with you. 0:16:09.720 --> 0:16:11.720 All the hugs that he doesn't give me and never 0:16:11.800 --> 0:16:14.800 gave me, he gives to them. He is very nurturing 0:16:14.960 --> 0:16:16.360 to them, not to me. 0:16:17.120 --> 0:16:19.960 He'll call me and be like donad. I'm like, well, 0:16:20.040 --> 0:16:21.760 good morning to you too, sir. 0:16:22.440 --> 0:16:25.280 Like you know, it's all about the girls. And I 0:16:25.360 --> 0:16:27.640 love to see how my girls love him. You know, 0:16:28.200 --> 0:16:32.200 I love because I feel that seeing them is almost 0:16:32.240 --> 0:16:35.840 me living through them. I love to see how when 0:16:35.920 --> 0:16:38.280 he comes through the door, they run to him, and 0:16:39.040 --> 0:16:43.520 that is like real, genuine love. Babies don't know a difference, 0:16:43.600 --> 0:16:45.360 you know, they don't know anything, So whatever it is 0:16:45.400 --> 0:16:47.960 that they feel, that's what they feel. And I love 0:16:48.000 --> 0:16:50.360 to see that they at least are creating that bond 0:16:50.840 --> 0:16:52.680 and those memories I never got to do. 0:16:52.800 --> 0:16:55.680 That's why I feel that God's timing is perfect. You know. 0:16:56.200 --> 0:17:00.040 Maybe I didn't need that as much as he needed it, 0:17:00.160 --> 0:17:03.000 or as much as my daughters needed that, because that's 0:17:03.040 --> 0:17:05.359 the only way I could break that generational curse. 0:17:05.760 --> 0:17:08.600 It's a wonderful thing for you to have that relationship 0:17:08.600 --> 0:17:10.560 between your daughters and him, you know what I'm saying, 0:17:10.800 --> 0:17:12.199 And for you to be able to see that with 0:17:12.280 --> 0:17:14.520 your eyes. It might be a little bit crazy because 0:17:14.880 --> 0:17:17.520 you didn't receive it, but you know it's there. You 0:17:17.560 --> 0:17:27.879 can see it moving forward. What habits or practices you 0:17:27.920 --> 0:17:32.040 think positively impacted your life this year, which ones would 0:17:32.040 --> 0:17:33.719 you like to continue moving forward with. 0:17:34.359 --> 0:17:37.119 I don't know if it's a habit, because it's definitely 0:17:37.119 --> 0:17:39.800 not a habit because I haven't been able to have 0:17:39.840 --> 0:17:42.359 a real life routine and god knows how long, like 0:17:42.680 --> 0:17:45.320 I have never had regular You wake up every day 0:17:45.359 --> 0:17:47.280 at this time, you do this, you do that. I 0:17:47.280 --> 0:17:49.520 don't know what it is to have that because my 0:17:49.600 --> 0:17:52.359 life is out okay and got right. But I will 0:17:52.400 --> 0:17:56.040 say that this year, most importantly, I have put in 0:17:56.119 --> 0:18:00.640 a lot more effort, a lot more effort into creating 0:18:00.680 --> 0:18:04.480 more family memories, creating more family moments. I talk about 0:18:04.480 --> 0:18:08.200 it all the time because with time I realized how 0:18:08.240 --> 0:18:11.160 my parents are getting older. How now as a mother 0:18:11.320 --> 0:18:14.840 I am. You know, I gave life to more people 0:18:14.880 --> 0:18:17.679 in this planet, in this world. I have to create 0:18:17.760 --> 0:18:20.320 those memories, all the things I never had. I want 0:18:20.359 --> 0:18:23.080 to build it for them. I want them to look 0:18:23.119 --> 0:18:26.080 at albums and see us enjoying each other and laughing 0:18:26.160 --> 0:18:28.440 and remembering this was your THEA and this is your 0:18:28.440 --> 0:18:29.800 mom and this is your you know what I mean? 0:18:29.840 --> 0:18:32.000 I used to look like this and I want to 0:18:32.080 --> 0:18:33.280 create those moments. 0:18:33.320 --> 0:18:35.720 And those moments don't always have to happen being out 0:18:35.720 --> 0:18:38.080 and about it could be we're just gonna watch a 0:18:38.119 --> 0:18:40.399 movie today, We're gonna watch a movie. I'm gonna put 0:18:40.440 --> 0:18:43.640 effort into, you know, getting instacart and I'm gonna big 0:18:43.760 --> 0:18:47.399