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Speaker 1: Advice. It's it's Ross Shooter from the Naughty but Nice podcast.

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Speaker 1: On the weekends, we've been doing these special bonus podcasts

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Speaker 1: that are really based in my book, my self help

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Speaker 1: book called The Fourword Answer. As well as being a

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Speaker 1: gossip columnist, I'm also one of the leading experts in

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Speaker 1: motivation in self help. So sit back and for the

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Speaker 1: next ten minutes or so, let's discuss something really, really important.

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Speaker 1: When you are kind to yourself. This happens. No one

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Speaker 1: has really that many friends, not real friends. I don't

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Speaker 1: and you don't either, and that is perfectly normal. What

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Speaker 1: we do have is lots of people that we know,

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Speaker 1: and there's nothing wrong with acknowledging that at all. Instead

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Speaker 1: of pretending that everybody you have ever met in your

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Speaker 1: life is your best friend, focus on the people around

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Speaker 1: you who really matter, especially the most important friend you

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Speaker 1: will ever have, yourself. Put yourself first. I'm going to

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Speaker 1: say that again, put yourself first, because self love is

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Speaker 1: not selfish at all. It means that you are taking

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Speaker 1: care of yourself. Making sure that you are safe and

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Speaker 1: healthy has to be a priority. It's amazing how many

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Speaker 1: people come in and out of our lives. We start

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Speaker 1: our lives as little babies with just family members around us,

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Speaker 1: and then we go to school and we meet friends,

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Speaker 1: and eventually work and hobbies and all these relationships that

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Speaker 1: we get when we become adults. Add to that all

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Speaker 1: the random people from your neighborhood or romantic partners, and

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Speaker 1: all of a sudden you have a web of many

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Speaker 1: different types of acquaintances. And that's the point, they are

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Speaker 1: not all the same. Be honest with yourself, where and

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Speaker 1: how all these people fit into your life. Think about

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Speaker 1: the sliding ever change in scale of friendship from a

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Speaker 1: total stranger to the best friend you will ever have.

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Speaker 1: Except the natural ebbs and flows of relationships, knowing that

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Speaker 1: the only thing all these different connections have in common

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Speaker 1: is you. You are at the center of your world

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Speaker 1: and the foundation on which every other relationship you have

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Speaker 1: is based on, which is why you have to have

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Speaker 1: a good relationship with your self and that stones by

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Speaker 1: treating yourself with kindness. Then give yourself, if you like,

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Speaker 1: as a spider at the center of the web that

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Speaker 1: is your life, or maybe even a stone that you

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Speaker 1: drop into a puddle of water, causing the reples of

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Speaker 1: friendship to spread out from you. You are the center.

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Speaker 1: You were the center of this, which is why it

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Speaker 1: is essential for you to be kind to yourself. Your

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Speaker 1: phone is full of people from every level of friendship

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Speaker 1: because once again, you were the glue that holds all

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Speaker 1: these friendships together. This is why you are responsible for

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Speaker 1: setting the tone to all the interactions in your life.

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Speaker 1: Be kind to yourself, and let me tell you the

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Speaker 1: secret kindness will surround you. When you take care of yourself,

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Speaker 1: you become a better per us and for others. And

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Speaker 1: when you feel good about yourself, you treat others better too.

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Speaker 1: I made a conscious decision not that long ago to

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Speaker 1: be kind to myself every single day. I have now

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Speaker 1: set the bar very high on the way I need

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Speaker 1: to be treated, and miraculously, the people who were meant

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Speaker 1: to be in my life have all risen to the occasion.

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Speaker 1: When I was cruel, I attracted cruel people. When I

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Speaker 1: was kind, I attracted kind people. It's that simple. The

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Speaker 1: secret to having the greatest curtle of friends starts with

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Speaker 1: you and how you treat others and how you treat yourself.

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Speaker 1: I have a very small inner subtle of friends, and

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Speaker 1: each week I make sure to check in with all

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Speaker 1: of them, get into the habit of being involved in

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Speaker 1: the lives of people you love on a regular basis.

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Speaker 1: Send a kind text or email to each and every

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Speaker 1: one of them every single week. Don't miss out on

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Speaker 1: the unimportant daily news of their lives, because that unimportant

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Speaker 1: daily news suddenly becomes very significant, even vital tomorrow. Be

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Speaker 1: curious and interested in your squad. Ask questions and listen

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Speaker 1: to the answers, because a little bit of effort on

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Speaker 1: your part will produce a massive wave of love that

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Speaker 1: soaks you in response. Relationships start our seeds and they

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Speaker 1: grow and grow under the right conditions, which is one

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Speaker 1: You must make sure you are providing the right environment

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Speaker 1: for this to happen. It might sound crazy at first,

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Speaker 1: but I have actually even gotten into the routine of

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Speaker 1: checking in with myself as well as my friends, sending

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Speaker 1: myself a little kind message each night before I go

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Speaker 1: to bed, and then when I wake up in the morning,

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Speaker 1: surprise I read it. It doesn't have to be anything

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Speaker 1: poetic or dazzling, le witty or smart, because the truth

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Speaker 1: is nothing you can say is as important as the

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Speaker 1: simple fact you were saying it. Communicate kindness everywhere you go,

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Speaker 1: especially with yourself and watch your gardener friendship blossom. Like

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Speaker 1: everything else that is important in your life, you have

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Speaker 1: to do the work if you want to see the results.

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Speaker 1: I said to myself not that long ago. If I

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Speaker 1: can spend hours and hours each week watching the Kardashians

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Speaker 1: or the Real Housewives, I can spend time each week

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Speaker 1: with my real friends. Don't you just love the feeling

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Speaker 1: when somebody reaches out to you for no other reason

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Speaker 1: but to say hello and connect. It's actually a superpower

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Speaker 1: that we all have in the palm of our hand.

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Speaker 1: The entire world, including my eight six year old mother

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Speaker 1: Betty a level level low, now has the ability to

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Speaker 1: send a little message of kindness without even having to

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Speaker 1: open their mouths. Phones are magical, Texting is magical. It's

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Speaker 1: really really easy now to stay in touch. When you

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Speaker 1: replace any aggression or misery that is around you with

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Speaker 1: love and kindness, you will change the world and your world.

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Speaker 1: Don't take my word for it, give it a try

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Speaker 1: for yourself. Really, what do you have to lose? I

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Speaker 1: can tell you what you have to get in. When

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Speaker 1: you were kind to yourself, it makes you the type

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Speaker 1: of person who is coming to others. And when you

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Speaker 1: were kind to others. You develop relationships that you never

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Speaker 1: ever dream meamed were possible. That's the simple truth. That's

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Speaker 1: the simple truth. When you are kind to yourself. This happens.

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Speaker 1: When you are kind to yourself, Kindness constantly surrounds you. Hey,

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Speaker 1: take care of everybody. I shall see you on Monday

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Speaker 1: for more of the Naughty but Nice Show, a five

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Speaker 1: day or week celebrity gossip, entertain and reporting show. And

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Speaker 1: then every other weekend I plan to do one of

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Speaker 1: these really short ten minutes podcasting based on my book

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Speaker 1: The Forward Answer, which is now available on Amazon. And remember, everybody,

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Speaker 1: if you're going to be naughty, you've got to be nice.

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Speaker 1: Take care Flip, it's not even nice with