Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer, an Imheart Radio podcast.
Speaker 2: So excited for this week's whine About It Thursday Therapy.
Speaker 2: We've got Mike Diamond.
Speaker 1: So.
Speaker 2: He's an author, television personality director, life coach, and interventionist.
Speaker 2: He got off to a bit of a rough start
Speaker 2: in life, battling undiagnosed dyslexia, exposure to drugs and alcohol
Speaker 2: at age twelve, and struggling to finish high school. Stroke
Speaker 2: of luck, however, earned him a green card in nineteen
Speaker 2: ninety seven and he moved to the States. So he's
Speaker 2: been on Miami Inc. And New York Inc. And later directing,
Speaker 2: producing and starring in Bondai Inc. Tattoo Crew. But despite
Speaker 2: all of this, Mike found himself spiritually bankrupt and thoroughly miserable,
Speaker 2: realizing his life depended on it. In two thousand and six,
Speaker 2: Mike decided to get sober, and, with his life completely
Speaker 2: turned around, has now helped hundreds of people on their
Speaker 2: own past recovery. Now, as a life coach in television personality,
Speaker 2: Mike Diamond explains his tried and true methods for empowerment
Speaker 2: and offers tools and stories to help you find your
Speaker 2: purpose and create your ideal future. He's got a book
Speaker 2: out called The Dose of Positivity, Tools, Techniques and Strategy
Speaker 2: to live life on your terms. Let's add that to
Speaker 2: Kart and then Adam on the show.
Speaker 1: Jenna you you won't remember me?
Speaker 2: Oh no, I don't. Am I gonna like the stories.
Speaker 2: It's a bad story. Was this the story when we
Speaker 2: met in my twenties?
Speaker 1: Or no, this is a great story. You're gonna when
Speaker 1: I tell you, you're gonna freak out.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, but.
Speaker 1: No, no, no. Back in twenty ten, great you Alex cordover right.
Speaker 1: It was running wet Republic. Okay, yes, I kind of
Speaker 1: the pool party. I was the doll guy that took
Speaker 1: care of you. Well, thank you for taking care of me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you can'd me like this guy called Mike Tyson, Mike Diamond.
Speaker 1: You're like, that's the guy you you've gotta. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I and I had the here to take care of
Speaker 3: you because Alex was waiting for you, and it was
Speaker 3: like thousands of people trying to get in and I
Speaker 3: was like, I got you and two year are good
Speaker 3: and it's like it was like I think it was Yeah,
Speaker 3: you came to in Vegas.
Speaker 1: That's it.
Speaker 2: Wow, Oh my goodness, yes, I remember that. That's crazy.
Speaker 2: Hi Mike, good to see you, not in not in Vegas. Well,
Speaker 2: because I mean, like, I'm sure you can relate. We
Speaker 2: all have these moments. Will I say that to like
Speaker 2: hopefully not feel alone in some of the Like in
Speaker 2: my la era of twenties, wasn't the best version of myself,
Speaker 2: you know. So sometimes when people are like, oh, I
Speaker 2: met you back and I'm like, oh gosh, I'm like,
Speaker 2: did we a date? Did we was? I?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 1: What? Where was I?
Speaker 2: Because I was so traumatized by like a former abuse
Speaker 2: and this and that and the other, and like it's
Speaker 2: just I don't think I was presenting myself in the
Speaker 2: proper manner back in my twenties, so you know.
Speaker 1: But I don't think any of us do.
Speaker 2: That's good to hear, thank you.
Speaker 1: I think between twenty and thirty that's the whole point.
Speaker 1: Like I suppose. I remember when I started to come
Speaker 1: out about, you know, my sobriety and people are like, ooh,
Speaker 1: don't talk about that, and I'm like why and they're like,
Speaker 1: are You're supposed to save that for meetings? And I
Speaker 1: was like, well, I'm not talking about someone else's mess up.
Speaker 1: I'm talking about my own. People need to know that
Speaker 1: you've got to fail forward. So I would constantly because
Speaker 1: you know, when I started working as like an interventionist
Speaker 1: and sober coach, and I went from like literally doing
Speaker 1: fistfuls of cocaine and smoking crack and home, I was
Speaker 1: Scott Wiland in New York City and the shooting a
Speaker 1: VH one show when I was like, hmmm, this doesn't
Speaker 1: seem right. It's just like you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: Like you get to the top of a mountain, You're like,
Speaker 1: it's the wrong mountain. All it's all long eyes. So
Speaker 1: when I got sober and no one did an intervention
Speaker 1: on me, I just was looking at Scott's life and
Speaker 1: you know, here, I am a kid from a small
Speaker 1: town Perth, Western Australia. I went a green cart and
Speaker 1: the lottery and I'm like, yeah, you know what, I
Speaker 1: had some sober friends. I'm just gonna just do a
Speaker 1: one eighty into what happens. Craziest craziest thing is that
Speaker 1: Scott's wife and kids were leaving and he was looking
Speaker 1: at it like I'm Scott Whitland. I'm like, I don't
Speaker 1: have wife and kids. I'm just destroying myself through all
Speaker 1: the physical trauma, like the mental, physical sexual abuse I
Speaker 1: you know, went through as a kid, like just being
Speaker 1: abused and undiagnosed dyslexia, you know, and undiagnosed ADHD. Just
Speaker 1: always beaten down and bullied that I self educated myself
Speaker 1: and intutively, I was like, you know what, even if
Speaker 1: I'm wrong, doing all this coke and just putting on
Speaker 1: a show for people isn't right. But I was making
Speaker 1: people so much money that no one, everyone enabled me.
Speaker 1: You know, you become like a puppet and you see
Speaker 1: a lot of Like you look at someone like Amy Winehouse.
Speaker 1: There's no way Amy Whitehouse should have ended like that,
Speaker 1: because you know. So it's like I think between twenty
Speaker 1: and thirty, that's that time that if you are talented
Speaker 1: and if you don't get you don't want to be industrialized,
Speaker 1: and you've got intuition, you're going to make a lot
Speaker 1: of mistakes because you're finding yourself, you know, and it's
Speaker 1: like you've got to make a mess in that process.
Speaker 1: It's always ugly because we've been put in these boxes
Speaker 1: as kids through the schooling system, right, and then we
Speaker 1: and then if we come from, you know, any kind
Speaker 1: of dysfunctional family, which most of us do right. And
Speaker 1: then there's the generational trauma, which is downloaded and downloaded
Speaker 1: and downloaded right. And then you we come out in
Speaker 1: the world and we have this authentic self that wants
Speaker 1: to thrive. And if the environment isn't set up for
Speaker 1: us to thrive, what happens. The authentic self has to
Speaker 1: get buried. We have to play a character protect ourselves.
Speaker 1: And then we go through this massive hormonal change in
Speaker 1: our teen years and we feel insecure. We don't know
Speaker 1: who we are, right, and so if we don't have
Speaker 1: good mentors or role models or people that actually walk
Speaker 1: the talk and not giving a slip service but have
Speaker 1: experienced it, we had no navigation system. Yeah, how do
Speaker 1: we know? We get into our twenties, we get a
Speaker 1: little fame, or we get a little self esteem boost
Speaker 1: because someone's likes it. I guess I going to run.
Speaker 1: I hope this fills the whole.
Speaker 2: It's interesting though, that you had that, like you were
Speaker 2: able to have that perspective, because I feel like a
Speaker 2: lot of people when they're and I can't, I don't,
Speaker 2: I don't and I don't know this, like I shouldn't
Speaker 2: sa like a lot of people because I don't know.
Speaker 2: I haven't been in that situation where you know, I
Speaker 2: was using like that, but you know to look and go, Okay,
Speaker 2: this is not the life that I want. So the
Speaker 2: fact that you were able to kind of have that
Speaker 2: like freeze frame moment must have been just like a
Speaker 2: very out of body but also like like it was
Speaker 2: that the moment that essentially saved your life.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was. It was that pivotal moment. I'll be
Speaker 1: honest with you, Jenna. I've got really really good intuition
Speaker 1: as a kid, Like I always had that. I know
Speaker 1: people really well, I'm good with people. I've always had that.
Speaker 1: Just I just know, and it gets punished out of
Speaker 1: you by the system, like, you know, don't trust your intuition.
Speaker 1: That's not what we're telling you to do, that creative
Speaker 1: part of you. So I just it was like that
Speaker 1: movie Sliding Doors with Grenned Paltrow. I literally just zoomed down.
Speaker 1: I zoomed down, and I'm good enough to know my
Speaker 1: myself and say, all right, if I'm doing this all
Speaker 1: over and over again, now, whatever the pain is. And
Speaker 1: that's why I talk about in my book a dose
Speaker 1: of positivity. It's dopamine, oxytose and serotonin indorphins. Right, We're
Speaker 1: all searching for those happy brain chemicals, and there's empowering
Speaker 1: ways to get that dose and disempowering. So when there
Speaker 1: is trauma or pain or whatever, or we don't feel enough,
Speaker 1: we search for the dose. Now my thing is, yes,
Speaker 1: it's genetic and environment. My thing was cocaine and alcohol. Right,
Speaker 1: But there's a point that you sit with yourself when
Speaker 1: every addict does, and they ask themselves, all right, this
Speaker 1: is not it's not fun anymore, because I can admit
Speaker 1: there was a lot of fun. I had a lot
Speaker 1: of good times. You know. It wasn't like it was
Speaker 1: all I was having fun. I was partying with rock stars.
Speaker 1: I ran all these nightclub doors. And you make a
Speaker 1: ton of money and you're in your early twenties and
Speaker 1: you think you've got the world in your hand, but
Speaker 1: really you're holding on the sands. Say it's like, oh,
Speaker 1: things that get weird. And it was just that moment
Speaker 1: where I was like sliding doors. I was like, all right,
Speaker 1: I know what happens. I think I'm this is the
Speaker 1: luckiest thing. I do everything to an extreme and I
Speaker 1: paid the price of accumulating a lot of materialistic things
Speaker 1: that I thought were going to make me happy. And
Speaker 1: I was like, I was all light, It's all light.
Speaker 1: And I stepped back, you know what I mean. And
Speaker 1: as soon as I step back, I was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: let me do. Let me take my life and then
Speaker 1: find purpose. Like the purpose was just feeling the whole.
Speaker 1: It's honest. I was lonely, I was. I mean to
Speaker 1: this day, Janna, my family never reads my books. They
Speaker 1: asked me if I still work, But you know what
Speaker 1: I mean, Like I've never had and this is this
Speaker 1: is the messed up thing. And I'll tell people this.
Speaker 1: Your intuition is the the strongest lead, and the universe
Speaker 1: has a better plan than we do. But doing the
Speaker 1: right thing isn't easy. But doing the easy thing isn't right.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. You gotta stick by your
Speaker 1: good values and morals. And like I the only reason
Speaker 1: I got my green car was there was a teacher
Speaker 1: that took advantage of a student and we were out
Speaker 1: one night and the next day I had to make
Speaker 1: a decision and lead acting school to help her. And
Speaker 1: I thought, you know, I went to the same school,
Speaker 1: as Hugh Jack. When you go to acting school, you
Speaker 1: get it, you get you go get an agent and
Speaker 1: get your green card, right. And I didn't happen to
Speaker 1: get a job at a clothing store, but I preserved
Speaker 1: her values by showing her that she shouldn't be treated
Speaker 1: like that, and she shouldn't you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: No one should be treated like that. And then a
Speaker 1: customer in the clothing store that I'm giving me a
Speaker 1: green card lottery ticket. Wow, I was unaware of a
Speaker 1: lottery thing, and I sent it in and see months
Speaker 1: later I got the green cat.
Speaker 2: Do you have do you have?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 2: Are you? Are you spiritual? Believing God?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 2: Do you do you see any of those moments?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Everything? No, no, no, I I we all.
Speaker 2: Have a because those moments where I'm like, that's a
Speaker 2: God wink, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: That's like absolutely yeah, that's not coincidence. Every look God
Speaker 1: puts us. Look, I always say, Okay, your calling isn't
Speaker 1: a conference call. The universe calls you right to work
Speaker 1: hard to acquire a skill set that brings value to
Speaker 1: other people. Okay, So I've always been good with people.
Speaker 1: My My job is to help people sick and suffering. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm just naturally. I just don't have to take If
Speaker 1: I see a homeless person and they're struggling, I don't
Speaker 1: have to think, oh, I don't look, I'm not going
Speaker 1: to help you. That's what I got into doing interventions.
Speaker 1: It wasn't because I don't do what I want to do.
Speaker 1: I do what I'm called to do.
Speaker 2: That's beautiful. I always like, I look at my upbringing
Speaker 2: and I'm like, okay, I can look and guard. There
Speaker 2: was a pile of childhood traumas. I had a pile
Speaker 2: of beliefs about myself that was told to me. So
Speaker 2: then you I believed them up until you know, a
Speaker 2: year ago, and so when you start breaking that down.
Speaker 2: But it was interesting. We just had my buddy Jason
Speaker 2: waller On and he's you know, he was in the
Speaker 2: spotlight and he was a recovering addict, but he had
Speaker 2: a perfect childhood. So it's like, that's the piece where
Speaker 2: I'm always too interesting because I always go, well, it's
Speaker 2: the child's of traumas. It goes back to the childhood wounds.
Speaker 2: But it's like in his case, I'm like, then what
Speaker 2: was it? So it's like, is it like it's not
Speaker 2: just that piece, it's also the shame messages. Is it
Speaker 2: then the shame messages? So it's like, what for you
Speaker 2: was like that message that made you take this path?
Speaker 1: I think, well, if you really want to break it
Speaker 1: down scientifically, right, So if you look at the first
Speaker 1: seven years of life, that's when the brain is programmed.
Speaker 1: That's when the subconscious mind right, And we know the
Speaker 1: subconscious is ninety five percent of programming, right, We're not
Speaker 1: really conscious of of behaving until it becomes self awarely.
Speaker 2: Did you say seven.
Speaker 1: Between zero and seven? Yeah, the first seven years. So
Speaker 1: those first seven years is where the environment and the people,
Speaker 1: the place and things program the subconscious mind right. And
Speaker 1: that's you know, people don't realize it's every bit of
Speaker 1: information that comes into your brain in those seven years
Speaker 1: become our behavior and beliefs. So, and this is another
Speaker 1: thing that people't understand. Energy is the most important thing
Speaker 1: for a young child because we pick up what is
Speaker 1: being download in the relationship of the environment. So even
Speaker 1: if people tell us they love us, but they don't
Speaker 1: show love, we get confused, right, or they abuse us,
Speaker 1: but I love you, You're like, why are you abusing me?
Speaker 1: In times I mean, you love me, So maybe that's
Speaker 1: how it is. I get abused and that's how and
Speaker 1: then the person says, I love me, right, Or you're
Speaker 1: around alcoholism, or you're around screaming, and you're around all
Speaker 1: these things that we don't know have built that software. Now,
Speaker 1: So when we go out in the world and we
Speaker 1: start to function, we're going to be triggered by all
Speaker 1: these things, and we're unaware of what's triggering us because
Speaker 1: guess what, it's buried in the subconscious. So let's just
Speaker 1: say you, as Jenna, used to get mocked every day
Speaker 1: by your neighbor, all right, and he was just mean,
Speaker 1: he bullied you. And at the time, you know, he
Speaker 1: was a little older and he smoked cigarettes, and the
Speaker 1: nicotine it has the association with that abuse. Right, years
Speaker 1: go by and someone starts smoking cigarettes and that trauma
Speaker 1: is buried in the sub and you don't know what
Speaker 1: it is about that person's smoking cigarettetion, like I don't
Speaker 1: feel good because it stays buried in your amigdala and
Speaker 1: the malig The amygdala, the primitive part of the brain,
Speaker 1: can seem doing to fight flight, freeze or feed mode
Speaker 1: before the body can actually, you know, we can rationally
Speaker 1: think in our prefrontal cortex what's going on. So when
Speaker 1: people say, like when they say stuff like I was
Speaker 1: so emotional, I wasn't thinking, You're like, yeah, because your
Speaker 1: emotions at hijack you to say something, and then afterwards
Speaker 1: you're like, oh my god, or like you send that
Speaker 1: email or you chase someone seven exits. You're what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: it's like we do it because but we don't realize that.
Speaker 1: And I always say, it's like, if you get triggered,
Speaker 1: the body gives us signals, like if you're hot around
Speaker 1: someone or if you feel uneasy, that's the body saying warning.
Speaker 1: And if you start to like looking really deeper into
Speaker 1: the subconscious. Right, So I'll give you a per example.
Speaker 1: Where were you September eleventh.
Speaker 2: I was in junior year of German fra Barner's class.
Speaker 1: Do you see how you didn't even have to think
Speaker 1: about it? Yeah, that traumatic event is so ingrained in
Speaker 1: your subconscious mind that I just said that and you
Speaker 1: knew exactly where it was. And now think about this,
Speaker 1: Think about the first seven years of your life and
Speaker 1: then what goes on to that that's in there that
Speaker 1: you may not even know that it's triggered from this
Speaker 1: our five centuries. Right, you say something, you hear something
Speaker 1: I could say, you know, sweet Child of mind, the
Speaker 1: song sweet Child of Mine? What's your first opinion of
Speaker 1: that song?
Speaker 2: It's great? I love it. This sing along all right?
Speaker 1: But right, but you have a good memory, right, yeah,
Speaker 1: So it's like the otherse things. So it doesn't matter. People.
Speaker 1: People could say they have a perfect upbringing, but if
Speaker 1: you start really digging into their childhood, you will see
Speaker 1: that they've had to perform a character. Right. The only
Speaker 1: what reason that we use is week if we can't
Speaker 1: be authentic and show ourselves unconditionally. M Yeah, because why
Speaker 1: would you have to write.
Speaker 2: Mike, do you have kids?
Speaker 1: One?
Speaker 2: What's the age?
Speaker 1: He's five? He's a boy. But I didn't download all
Speaker 1: my insanity on him. He's clean, dude, he is. He
Speaker 1: lives in the zone. He's live. Is our self educate him.
Speaker 1: He loves people like there's no stress. This is so funny.
Speaker 1: I got beaten so bad as a kid and abused,
Speaker 1: and you'll laugh, right. I never raised my voice around him,
Speaker 1: and it takes a lot to get me triggered now.
Speaker 1: And I never yell in front of him, and I
Speaker 1: was on the phone in the day and I was like, dude,
Speaker 1: you're not getting He's like, Dad, what is it. Buddy's
Speaker 1: like that's way too loud. I was like, little brat.
Speaker 2: Like that's so cool.
Speaker 1: Yeah, chegged me like yeah, you don't raise your voice
Speaker 1: like that. Like I was this guy really your little turn,
Speaker 1: like he was checking me. He checked me.
Speaker 2: You have no idea what I heard?
Speaker 1: What? Yeah, you know what I'm saying, like exactly like
Speaker 1: you and I protected. Yeah, I'm like no, Like I
Speaker 1: had this beautiful moment because I was pushed so bad
Speaker 1: into sports and I was a really really great athlete
Speaker 1: and that my mum was really sick and just mentally
Speaker 1: not where and when i'd win, she just call me
Speaker 1: a show off and if I lost, my dad would
Speaker 1: abuse me. Oh yeah. It was really bad, right, And
Speaker 1: they never treated my having three siblings like that, because
Speaker 1: my older brother got hisself for latist at seven, my
Speaker 1: sister was thirteen weeks premature, and my other brother kind
Speaker 1: of it was like the you know, he got his
Speaker 1: own kind of mental stuff from them, but no abuse.
Speaker 1: So he wanted to sit out t ball and I
Speaker 1: was like fine, set that out whatever. Any any watched
Speaker 1: watched the game and watching, and then the coach said,
Speaker 1: do you want to come in? I said, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I'm asking five. I'm not gonna push him. It's T ball.
Speaker 1: I'm playing for the Yankees. And he dressed up as
Speaker 1: Bumblebee one day and the coach said, you know, Bumblebee,
Speaker 1: the team needs you. He got on the field and
Speaker 1: crushed it and won the game ball, And it was
Speaker 1: really good for me to not feel like I don't
Speaker 1: live vicariously through him, like he doesn't have to be
Speaker 1: this person. I'm gonna lean into who he is, and
Speaker 1: then I'm going to give him the skills and teach him,
Speaker 1: displant and model that behavior. So he goes, all right,
Speaker 1: my dad's up at three or four in the morning.
Speaker 1: My dad meditates. My dad does this. My dad's kind.
Speaker 1: He works hard. All right, that's what I see. I
Speaker 1: guess I'll do that, you know what I mean, not like,
Speaker 1: go do it, go do it my way. I don't
Speaker 1: know his way. You know, I don't know his way.
Speaker 1: I've got to kind of give him a good healthy
Speaker 1: environment to mold himself.
Speaker 3: Oh but I love that.
Speaker 2: Though, especially, I mean because I have a seven and
Speaker 2: a four year old and so you know, I and
Speaker 2: I a couple of years ago through a divorce, and
Speaker 2: it's just you know, trying to be like okay, like
Speaker 2: because I know these ages because my my childhood goes wound,
Speaker 2: goes back to six. So it's like I've been so
Speaker 2: hyper vigilant of like not you know, screwing them up,
Speaker 2: and like, I know there'll be something probably I don't
Speaker 2: know which what it is, but like, you know, just
Speaker 2: doing the very best with with that piece. But I'm curious,
Speaker 2: you know, with your book, is there a is there
Speaker 2: something where you still struggle with positivity at times?
Speaker 1: Oh? Yeah, and this is your love is so absolutely yeah.
Speaker 1: So they go, God will give you what you know
Speaker 1: you can't you can you can handle or whatever the
Speaker 1: thing is. So you know, I get in the book deal?
Speaker 1: Was how to get a book deal? I had? My
Speaker 1: agent was useless. I had to Yeah, I had to
Speaker 1: take on a crazy job. So I intuitively know.
Speaker 2: What to do.
Speaker 1: So I get a call to detox this guy and
Speaker 1: I don't want to do it. Its COVID and I
Speaker 1: don't want to do it, and my agent's like, I'll
Speaker 1: sell the book. Don't worry.
Speaker 2: Why don't you want to do it?
Speaker 1: What was the like? It is just like it's hard
Speaker 1: Jenna and I and I'm not I'm not going to
Speaker 1: there's if you call me for help. Right as a person,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I've never had anyone people abandoned me
Speaker 1: and didn't believe in me. I don't abandon people. I'm empathetic.
Speaker 1: I've see you getting beaten down. I stand up.
Speaker 2: I don't have people under web republic, you know what
Speaker 2: I mean? Like I was, I was meeting in you know,
Speaker 2: and you let people in like jen My Cramer.
Speaker 1: So I know. I know that detox is going to
Speaker 1: be bad. He won't go to treatment and you won't
Speaker 1: do the detox. So that yeah, So they I said,
Speaker 1: just give me a ticket. I set a price up.
Speaker 1: I said, give me the ticket. So I get there.
Speaker 1: I said, I'll just have dinner with him. I have
Speaker 1: dinner with him. He's like, well, you detox me. I'm like, yeah, now,
Speaker 1: this is what you go to Remember when I detox
Speaker 1: someone one on one, it's me and them in a
Speaker 1: hotel room for ten days. I barely sleep for ten days.
Speaker 1: So it's real stuff. But I'm going to get you
Speaker 1: through it. And that's my skill. I can endure a
Speaker 1: massive amount of pain for my upbringing, and I have
Speaker 1: massive resilience. I mean, I ran thirty half marathons in
Speaker 1: thirty days after stomach surgery, and I was told I'd
Speaker 1: never run again. Wow. And I'd ran one half marathon
Speaker 1: before and I was told I'd never heal myself again.
Speaker 1: And I healed myself naturally of olcilated collidis. So it's like,
Speaker 1: I have this inateability to just zone in. So I
Speaker 1: did the detox, got him clean, and then I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm going to get out of here. And his dad
Speaker 1: called me and he said, what's the program like? And
Speaker 1: I was like, it sucks, it's not a good program.
Speaker 1: So the dad goes, I'll put you in a private plane,
Speaker 1: set up a program with my son, stay with him
Speaker 1: in DC. And I had to fly back and forth
Speaker 1: and put my body on the line to get this
Speaker 1: guy through. And I got him through it and I
Speaker 1: got back and my agent couldn't sell the book. A
Speaker 1: wast of my time. So I was like, Okay. So
Speaker 1: when I'm in those frustrations and negative moments, I sit
Speaker 1: by myself and I breathe and I get to do
Speaker 1: a mindful new session. And I'd heard of an agent,
Speaker 1: Paul Bill Gladstone, who represented Eckar told and I said,
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm just going to do what I do.
Speaker 1: I'm a Breakdawlls. I'm gonna send him an email and
Speaker 1: just say, dude, I got a book ready to go
Speaker 1: on a proposal. My agent couldn't do nothing with it.
Speaker 1: Could you read the proposal? He read the proposal, read
Speaker 1: the book. He three weeks later he got me a
Speaker 1: publishing deal. Oh my god, but it gets better, right,
Speaker 1: I go, I want to call it those of positivity.
Speaker 1: They go absolutely, So we go into edits. I'd done
Speaker 1: two edits before we go into edits. During the edited time,
Speaker 1: I get COVID three times. My stomach blows out with
Speaker 1: the ulcerated collidis. I'm not joking, Jenna, and I want
Speaker 1: to be graphic. I was using the bathroom like twenty
Speaker 1: five times a day, literally dying, and I'm sitting there
Speaker 1: and I'm trying to edit this manuscript within the time
Speaker 1: they said re edit it with the notes right, seventy
Speaker 1: thousand words and I'm sitting there and going.
Speaker 4: I brought this on myself. The last thing I want
Speaker 4: to do is be positive. Like I'm losing my mind.
Speaker 4: I can't hold down food. I've had COVID three times,
Speaker 4: I have alter rated Collidis.
Speaker 1: And I give myself this karmas by calling the book
Speaker 1: a dose of positivity, right.
Speaker 2: Because now I have to be positive, right.
Speaker 1: So I start laughing. And then what I do is
Speaker 1: I go, see, this is going to be such a
Speaker 1: great story. This is why I have to do this,
Speaker 1: teaching me to get out of my way and I'll
Speaker 1: heal myself, which I did. And then I'd read Victor Frankel,
Speaker 1: who like he goes out and he's in Auschwitz and
Speaker 1: he you know, he's positive. And I read all these
Speaker 1: incredible inspiring people that they take the university and you
Speaker 1: sit in them. It's a lesson. There's never a loss,
Speaker 1: there's a les And it taught me. It taught me
Speaker 1: to slow down, and taught me to be patient, and
Speaker 1: taught me to be grateful. Be grateful. I've got a
Speaker 1: book deal, Be grateful that the other agent. Be grateful.
Speaker 1: I got someone sober, you know what I mean. I'm
Speaker 1: still alive. There's people I've got friends of the dead
Speaker 1: that died during COVID grateful. I got through COVID three times,
Speaker 1: so I just instantly sit in the pain and I
Speaker 1: don't become a victim. I'm like, what's the victory? How
Speaker 1: can I get a win out of this small thing?
Speaker 1: You know, because I know I'm going to get through it.
Speaker 1: I always tell myself, I'm like, I can figure this
Speaker 1: out if I just slow down, and so yeah, but
Speaker 1: I'll be honest, I'm not one of those people that
Speaker 1: wakes up in the morning at three in the morning
Speaker 1: and bells on whistles and dust car wheel. I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm grumpy. I was like, oh, I don't want to
Speaker 1: do this because it's hard. It's hard to get up.
Speaker 2: I can be very positive, but I can also be
Speaker 2: very pessimistic, where I'm just like, it's not gonna happen
Speaker 2: because it's never happened, So like, why am I like
Speaker 2: continuing doing this thinking that I'm going to get a
Speaker 2: different result that I've had in the past. Like, it's
Speaker 2: just it's not going to happen for me. And that's
Speaker 2: the that's the like ugliest side of like my brain
Speaker 2: sometimes and the other side is so grateful and so
Speaker 2: thankful and happy, but there's also that piece. I think
Speaker 2: that the thread in that was I didn't think I
Speaker 2: deserved to be happy, and so that's like what has
Speaker 2: been my work like with my therapist was like I
Speaker 2: didn't think that is like we were doing e MDR
Speaker 2: and we're like trying to figure it out, and I
Speaker 2: was like I just stopped and I started balling, and
Speaker 2: I was like, I don't think I deserve it because
Speaker 2: everything that like again the messages and everything else, and
Speaker 2: like that was the biggest piece to like overcome. Now
Speaker 2: I still have moments of like you know that that
Speaker 2: creeps back in, right, but it's like it's hard to
Speaker 2: be positive one hundred percent. So it's for someone like
Speaker 2: you that's written this kind of book, it's you know,
Speaker 2: it's it's nice to hear that you too have those
Speaker 2: moments where this is it's because life is hard and
Speaker 2: things get thrown at you, but it's just there. It's
Speaker 2: like you your tools in the book, Like obviously I
Speaker 2: want my listeners to read the book, but like, what
Speaker 2: are some of those tools and techniques that you go
Speaker 2: to when you need like help getting there?
Speaker 1: Well, the first thing you have to do is like
Speaker 1: I always say, like what you said, is really beautiful.
Speaker 1: It's like whenever I'm going through something and I and
Speaker 1: I had that this past, like things that didn't go
Speaker 1: my way, So I'm triggered thinking it's not going to
Speaker 1: go my way. I'm like, well, okay, well what can
Speaker 1: I do right now? What's the most what can I
Speaker 1: do to just in this moment? Because look, let's just
Speaker 1: be straight, Jenna, in all reality, all that matters is
Speaker 1: me on a pocast with you. That's it. That's the
Speaker 1: purest form of reality, right, I am sitting on a
Speaker 1: podcast with you. So there's two techniques that will save someone. Right.
Speaker 1: The first one is called stop. So if you as
Speaker 1: Janet Kramer on me, as Mike as sitting on this podcast,
Speaker 1: and for some reason, you're not actually calm right now
Speaker 1: because there's no threat right now, even if they were
Speaker 1: at your house trying to take your stuff, or someone
Speaker 1: you don't know, something's happening to a shop, you're with
Speaker 1: me now, there's no threat, right The only threat is
Speaker 1: if something in the environment triggers a threat. Right, So there,
Speaker 1: emotionally you become disturbed. Now, a technique that'll that'll that
Speaker 1: will help you regulate your sympathetic nervous system and get
Speaker 1: back to Paris. Sympathetic nervous system is called stop, and
Speaker 1: it's simply you tell yourself, I've got to stop. Wherever
Speaker 1: you are, you just say I've got to stop. I've
Speaker 1: got to stop, right. And the second thing is t
Speaker 1: take a breath. Now. When I say take a breath,
Speaker 1: it's proper deep diaframatic breathing. It's not pipe anyway, right,
Speaker 1: And you don't have to do whim Hoff. You just
Speaker 1: need to breathe in slowly, expand the diaphragm, breathe out slowly.
Speaker 1: Usually five or six breads will help you regulate your emotions.
Speaker 1: And I always say to people, you know, if you
Speaker 1: watch a boxing match for a UFC fight, right, you
Speaker 1: see they're in a real fight. Even though the media
Speaker 1: makes it up to desensitize the violence. It's violence. It's
Speaker 1: people trying to kill each other when they get back
Speaker 1: to the corner. And the first thing in the corner
Speaker 1: man says is breathe. Its breathe because you get that
Speaker 1: time to breathe and regulate. Go from sympathetic parasympathetic into
Speaker 1: your prefront of context. Now observe you're either afraid you're
Speaker 1: not going to get what you want, you're going to
Speaker 1: lose what you have. You have some guilt, guilt and
Speaker 1: shame or sometime of insecurities from the past, or guess what,
Speaker 1: you're worried too much about the future. Right, So if
Speaker 1: it's one of the four, guess where you're not present
Speaker 1: with me, So then you pee, proceed right and take
Speaker 1: action when you're calm, so you actually respond and take
Speaker 1: critical think action right, not emotions, not reacting, not regretting
Speaker 1: what you've done, because your emotions have actually the energy
Speaker 1: emotion has put you in the wrong course. Right. So
Speaker 1: the second technique is called stamp. And when you are
Speaker 1: ruminating over and over again, because remember it's either feeling
Speaker 1: then acting or thinking, thinking your way into the feeling
Speaker 1: then acting right, there's two different things. You could overthink something,
Speaker 1: get emotional and act like a crazy person, or you
Speaker 1: could be triggered right then act like a crazy person,
Speaker 1: then think about it. So the second one is to stamp,
Speaker 1: and I say stamp is like stamping on the ruminating
Speaker 1: negative thoughts. Stop again, take a breath, breathe diaphragmatically. Once
Speaker 1: you start to breathe diaphragmatically, a adjust my thinking. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm now breathing adjusted, So what is something I can
Speaker 1: be grateful for? What am I ruminating on? You've got
Speaker 1: to get clarity if you find one thing to be
Speaker 1: grateful for, and you can slightly reframe whatever you're ruminating on,
Speaker 1: like you're not enough, I'm not going to get enough,
Speaker 1: or I don't have enough. It's usually that I want this,
Speaker 1: but do you need it? Right? If you've got your
Speaker 1: primary needs mat it's usually a want right, and then
Speaker 1: m I'm now am going to make the change right
Speaker 1: and proceed to be grateful or take action in a
Speaker 1: positive way, and then p After you've made the change,
Speaker 1: you proceed, you get on your way. And like anything,
Speaker 1: it's learned behavior. The more you practice slowing down, breathing
Speaker 1: and setting yourself in the moment, the better you get
Speaker 1: at it. Now, the world is not designed to make
Speaker 1: us do that. This phone, we're always scrolling not enough
Speaker 1: right comparison syndrome right, negative people, toxic people telling us
Speaker 1: all these things, downloading their day.
Speaker 2: On us, the filters right right, showing us that we
Speaker 2: don't look good enough.
Speaker 1: So you just need to sit alone and just And
Speaker 1: it's very important to be around like the right people,
Speaker 1: Like you've got to know who you're sharing with, Like
Speaker 1: I don't. I have to do a lot of journaling
Speaker 1: and alone time, and I share with a couple of
Speaker 1: people because it's like you think you can share your
Speaker 1: stop with people and then they start acting strange, like right,
Speaker 1: then you can share your stuff for me and I
Speaker 1: won't tell you much. Right Not everyone wants to get
Speaker 1: deep and ugly and get through the stop.
Speaker 2: It's like my favorite thing. I like, that's like my connection,
Speaker 2: like I when I I don't, I don't love the
Speaker 2: small talk when I meet someone like I just I'm like,
Speaker 2: I need to know what deep. I want to know
Speaker 2: what's your what's your wounds? Like what's your leak? And
Speaker 2: how can we like you know, heal and grow and
Speaker 2: learn because I always think I mean everything that you
Speaker 2: know when I fail, that's my biggest learning lessons. I'm
Speaker 2: always looking at it like, Okay, what did I learn
Speaker 2: from this? How can I do better? Or what can
Speaker 2: I you know, how can I grow and heal and continue?
Speaker 2: And I'm adding a dose of positivity to KRT right now,
Speaker 2: and I want everyone to do the same. Mike, this
Speaker 2: has been my favorite full circle moment I think I've
Speaker 2: ever had with you on the show from from Vegas.
Speaker 2: So like, just thank you for being so vulnerable and
Speaker 2: sharing your heart and you know, having because I think
Speaker 2: it's it's not it's definitely not easy to be positive
Speaker 2: at all, but to be able to be such a
Speaker 2: figure for people and someone to look up to the
Speaker 2: fact that you've gone through so much in your life,
Speaker 2: to be able to still be positive, it's like I
Speaker 2: almost to be like other people can't complain, you know
Speaker 2: what I mean? Like you you are living proof that
Speaker 2: like you can overcome and you can still be positive
Speaker 2: and have hope.
Speaker 1: You know what it is. I'll tell people the three
Speaker 1: simple things, Okaya. The rules. Always break the rules. Okay,
Speaker 1: whatever rules are, they were created by man, they weren't
Speaker 1: created by spirit. Second thing is respect man made laws,
Speaker 1: because wherever you go in the world, the laws are different.
Speaker 1: So you know, you don't want to be locked up
Speaker 1: doing something done.
Speaker 2: Don't bring weed to Russia.
Speaker 1: Yeah right, right, don't.
Speaker 2: Do check the laws you don't know. You don't know lows.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I get. I can stop the other day at
Speaker 1: the airport, right because I had some powders and then
Speaker 1: amuser with some glutamine and the guy goes, it's it's
Speaker 1: a is that a bomb device? It's like, the only
Speaker 1: bombing going to get is the fiber blowing through you.
Speaker 1: But it's not a bomb. And they had me waiting
Speaker 1: for forty five minutes and they like full searched me.
Speaker 1: And the guy goes, do you want a private room?
Speaker 1: I said, dude, I have no problems people touching me
Speaker 1: in public. I have no shame. I used to do
Speaker 1: eight balls of cocaine and I'm on to going into
Speaker 1: an easter benure to say a crackhead, right yeah, And
Speaker 1: they're like, said by Mike, Dude, I don't care I
Speaker 1: have You're not going to embarrass a guy like me.
Speaker 1: I've done it all right. And the third thing is
Speaker 1: you must obey spiritual laws. Okay, study them. A lot
Speaker 1: of attraction, lot of correspondence, a lot of synchronicity, lot
Speaker 1: of karma. You report your soul right, and always do
Speaker 1: something with the right purpose because if the cause is right,
Speaker 1: the effect is always money. Okay. Put people first and
Speaker 1: bring value to weather people and you will profit. I
Speaker 1: love that.
Speaker 2: Mike, thank you so much for coming on the shlf. Seriously,
Speaker 2: You're just a breath of fresh air.
Speaker 1: I have to connect. I would love that.
Speaker 2: I'm going to DM you right now, Yeah I will.
Speaker 1: And anything you need. I'm one of those real guys
Speaker 1: like I'm there to help and serve and just whatever
Speaker 1: people are going through. I get into the mark and
Speaker 1: the weeds and you need, you need, Like they say,
Speaker 1: you love this. It's a great video. And there's a
Speaker 1: male lion screaming out and he's got twenty hyaenas trying
Speaker 1: to kill him, and another male lion from when he
Speaker 1: was years ago, an old friend. Here's the call from
Speaker 1: five miles away, and he runs over to help him,
Speaker 1: and two male lions make twenty hyaenas run. And I
Speaker 1: always say to people, you only need one or two
Speaker 1: people in your life that can be there for you
Speaker 1: when things fall apart, and the rest of the pack
Speaker 1: doesn't matter. I just have one or two people that
Speaker 1: are your engines, that help drive you, that just are
Speaker 1: there for you, and that's what you need.
Speaker 2: I love that and I I've one thousand percent agree.
Speaker 2: So yeah, you're the best. Thank you for coming on,
Speaker 2: and I'll see you soon.
Speaker 1: Bye. Telling you're the best,