WEBVTT - Whine About It: A Diamond in the Rough 0:00:01.920 --> 0:00:05.400 Wind Down with Janet Kramer, an Imheart Radio podcast. 0:00:07.120 --> 0:00:10.440 So excited for this week's whine About It Thursday Therapy. 0:00:10.480 --> 0:00:11.640 We've got Mike Diamond. 0:00:11.680 --> 0:00:11.760 So. 0:00:11.840 --> 0:00:16.079 He's an author, television personality director, life coach, and interventionist. 0:00:16.760 --> 0:00:18.560 He got off to a bit of a rough start 0:00:18.600 --> 0:00:22.599 in life, battling undiagnosed dyslexia, exposure to drugs and alcohol 0:00:22.640 --> 0:00:25.319 at age twelve, and struggling to finish high school. Stroke 0:00:25.360 --> 0:00:27.440 of luck, however, earned him a green card in nineteen 0:00:27.480 --> 0:00:30.040 ninety seven and he moved to the States. So he's 0:00:30.080 --> 0:00:34.600 been on Miami Inc. And New York Inc. And later directing, 0:00:34.640 --> 0:00:40.080 producing and starring in Bondai Inc. Tattoo Crew. But despite 0:00:40.120 --> 0:00:44.599 all of this, Mike found himself spiritually bankrupt and thoroughly miserable, 0:00:44.760 --> 0:00:47.320 realizing his life depended on it. In two thousand and six, 0:00:47.400 --> 0:00:50.680 Mike decided to get sober, and, with his life completely 0:00:50.680 --> 0:00:53.599 turned around, has now helped hundreds of people on their 0:00:53.640 --> 0:00:56.960 own past recovery. Now, as a life coach in television personality, 0:00:57.000 --> 0:00:59.960 Mike Diamond explains his tried and true methods for empowerment 0:01:00.040 --> 0:01:02.760 and offers tools and stories to help you find your 0:01:02.760 --> 0:01:05.720 purpose and create your ideal future. He's got a book 0:01:05.720 --> 0:01:09.120 out called The Dose of Positivity, Tools, Techniques and Strategy 0:01:09.200 --> 0:01:12.000 to live life on your terms. Let's add that to 0:01:12.080 --> 0:01:13.680 Kart and then Adam on the show. 0:01:16.880 --> 0:01:18.880 Jenna you you won't remember me? 0:01:19.120 --> 0:01:21.039 Oh no, I don't. Am I gonna like the stories. 0:01:21.040 --> 0:01:23.120 It's a bad story. Was this the story when we 0:01:23.200 --> 0:01:24.039 met in my twenties? 0:01:24.160 --> 0:01:27.520 Or no, this is a great story. You're gonna when 0:01:27.520 --> 0:01:28.800 I tell you, you're gonna freak out. 0:01:28.800 --> 0:01:30.720 Okay, okay, but. 0:01:30.680 --> 0:01:36.200 No, no, no. Back in twenty ten, great you Alex cordover right. 0:01:36.200 --> 0:01:40.160 It was running wet Republic. Okay, yes, I kind of 0:01:40.200 --> 0:01:43.319 the pool party. I was the doll guy that took 0:01:43.400 --> 0:01:50.880 care of you. Well, thank you for taking care of me. Yeah, 0:01:51.000 --> 0:01:55.640 you can'd me like this guy called Mike Tyson, Mike Diamond. 0:01:55.680 --> 0:01:58.440 You're like, that's the guy you you've gotta. Yeah. 0:01:58.600 --> 0:02:00.880 I and I had the here to take care of 0:02:00.920 --> 0:02:03.200 you because Alex was waiting for you, and it was 0:02:03.240 --> 0:02:05.160 like thousands of people trying to get in and I 0:02:05.240 --> 0:02:08.280 was like, I got you and two year are good 0:02:08.400 --> 0:02:11.320 and it's like it was like I think it was Yeah, 0:02:11.320 --> 0:02:12.920 you came to in Vegas. 0:02:13.919 --> 0:02:14.320 That's it. 0:02:14.400 --> 0:02:18.680 Wow, Oh my goodness, yes, I remember that. That's crazy. 0:02:19.040 --> 0:02:24.680 Hi Mike, good to see you, not in not in Vegas. Well, 0:02:24.720 --> 0:02:27.440 because I mean, like, I'm sure you can relate. We 0:02:27.480 --> 0:02:29.680 all have these moments. Will I say that to like 0:02:29.680 --> 0:02:33.480 hopefully not feel alone in some of the Like in 0:02:33.520 --> 0:02:38.800 my la era of twenties, wasn't the best version of myself, 0:02:39.520 --> 0:02:42.520 you know. So sometimes when people are like, oh, I 0:02:42.560 --> 0:02:44.560 met you back and I'm like, oh gosh, I'm like, 0:02:44.639 --> 0:02:46.760 did we a date? Did we was? I? 0:02:46.960 --> 0:02:47.080 Like? 0:02:47.360 --> 0:02:48.160 What? Where was I? 0:02:48.200 --> 0:02:52.200 Because I was so traumatized by like a former abuse 0:02:52.280 --> 0:02:54.440 and this and that and the other, and like it's 0:02:54.600 --> 0:02:57.600 just I don't think I was presenting myself in the 0:02:57.639 --> 0:03:02.320 proper manner back in my twenties, so you know. 0:03:02.520 --> 0:03:03.800 But I don't think any of us do. 0:03:04.639 --> 0:03:05.960 That's good to hear, thank you. 0:03:06.320 --> 0:03:09.320 I think between twenty and thirty that's the whole point. 0:03:09.360 --> 0:03:12.079 Like I suppose. I remember when I started to come 0:03:12.120 --> 0:03:17.720 out about, you know, my sobriety and people are like, ooh, 0:03:18.160 --> 0:03:20.440 don't talk about that, and I'm like why and they're like, 0:03:20.760 --> 0:03:22.680 are You're supposed to save that for meetings? And I 0:03:22.720 --> 0:03:25.480 was like, well, I'm not talking about someone else's mess up. 0:03:25.520 --> 0:03:29.880 I'm talking about my own. People need to know that 0:03:29.919 --> 0:03:33.720 you've got to fail forward. So I would constantly because 0:03:33.760 --> 0:03:37.440 you know, when I started working as like an interventionist 0:03:37.440 --> 0:03:40.960 and sober coach, and I went from like literally doing 0:03:41.000 --> 0:03:45.320 fistfuls of cocaine and smoking crack and home, I was 0:03:45.360 --> 0:03:47.960 Scott Wiland in New York City and the shooting a 0:03:48.000 --> 0:03:51.840 VH one show when I was like, hmmm, this doesn't 0:03:51.880 --> 0:03:54.440 seem right. It's just like you know what I mean, 0:03:54.520 --> 0:03:56.760 Like you get to the top of a mountain, You're like, 0:03:56.800 --> 0:04:01.480 it's the wrong mountain. All it's all long eyes. So 0:04:02.320 --> 0:04:04.800 when I got sober and no one did an intervention 0:04:04.920 --> 0:04:08.320 on me, I just was looking at Scott's life and 0:04:08.360 --> 0:04:10.080 you know, here, I am a kid from a small 0:04:10.120 --> 0:04:12.960 town Perth, Western Australia. I went a green cart and 0:04:12.960 --> 0:04:17.560 the lottery and I'm like, yeah, you know what, I 0:04:17.600 --> 0:04:19.880 had some sober friends. I'm just gonna just do a 0:04:20.120 --> 0:04:23.800 one eighty into what happens. Craziest craziest thing is that 0:04:24.040 --> 0:04:28.760 Scott's wife and kids were leaving and he was looking 0:04:28.760 --> 0:04:31.640 at it like I'm Scott Whitland. I'm like, I don't 0:04:31.640 --> 0:04:34.640 have wife and kids. I'm just destroying myself through all 0:04:34.640 --> 0:04:39.200 the physical trauma, like the mental, physical sexual abuse I 0:04:39.360 --> 0:04:41.800 you know, went through as a kid, like just being 0:04:41.880 --> 0:04:48.360 abused and undiagnosed dyslexia, you know, and undiagnosed ADHD. Just 0:04:48.720 --> 0:04:52.600 always beaten down and bullied that I self educated myself 0:04:52.640 --> 0:04:55.920 and intutively, I was like, you know what, even if 0:04:55.960 --> 0:05:00.760 I'm wrong, doing all this coke and just putting on 0:05:00.800 --> 0:05:03.680 a show for people isn't right. But I was making 0:05:03.720 --> 0:05:07.479 people so much money that no one, everyone enabled me. 0:05:09.080 --> 0:05:10.960 You know, you become like a puppet and you see 0:05:10.960 --> 0:05:12.920 a lot of Like you look at someone like Amy Winehouse. 0:05:12.960 --> 0:05:16.160 There's no way Amy Whitehouse should have ended like that, 0:05:16.800 --> 0:05:20.960 because you know. So it's like I think between twenty 0:05:20.960 --> 0:05:25.080 and thirty, that's that time that if you are talented 0:05:25.200 --> 0:05:28.520 and if you don't get you don't want to be industrialized, 0:05:28.760 --> 0:05:32.080 and you've got intuition, you're going to make a lot 0:05:32.080 --> 0:05:36.920 of mistakes because you're finding yourself, you know, and it's 0:05:37.040 --> 0:05:40.960 like you've got to make a mess in that process. 0:05:40.680 --> 0:05:45.920 It's always ugly because we've been put in these boxes 0:05:45.960 --> 0:05:48.960 as kids through the schooling system, right, and then we 0:05:49.120 --> 0:05:51.000 and then if we come from, you know, any kind 0:05:51.040 --> 0:05:53.599 of dysfunctional family, which most of us do right. And 0:05:53.640 --> 0:05:57.920 then there's the generational trauma, which is downloaded and downloaded 0:05:57.960 --> 0:06:01.400 and downloaded right. And then you we come out in 0:06:01.400 --> 0:06:03.799 the world and we have this authentic self that wants 0:06:03.839 --> 0:06:06.880 to thrive. And if the environment isn't set up for 0:06:07.000 --> 0:06:10.440 us to thrive, what happens. The authentic self has to 0:06:10.480 --> 0:06:14.520 get buried. We have to play a character protect ourselves. 0:06:15.640 --> 0:06:18.359 And then we go through this massive hormonal change in 0:06:18.400 --> 0:06:21.200 our teen years and we feel insecure. We don't know 0:06:21.200 --> 0:06:23.800 who we are, right, and so if we don't have 0:06:24.240 --> 0:06:27.920 good mentors or role models or people that actually walk 0:06:27.960 --> 0:06:31.080 the talk and not giving a slip service but have 0:06:31.200 --> 0:06:36.719 experienced it, we had no navigation system. Yeah, how do 0:06:36.760 --> 0:06:38.800 we know? We get into our twenties, we get a 0:06:38.839 --> 0:06:42.680 little fame, or we get a little self esteem boost 0:06:42.680 --> 0:06:46.280 because someone's likes it. I guess I going to run. 0:06:47.720 --> 0:06:48.920 I hope this fills the whole. 0:06:49.040 --> 0:06:51.640 It's interesting though, that you had that, like you were 0:06:51.680 --> 0:06:53.480 able to have that perspective, because I feel like a 0:06:53.520 --> 0:06:57.920 lot of people when they're and I can't, I don't, 0:06:57.960 --> 0:06:59.919 I don't and I don't know this, like I shouldn't 0:06:59.920 --> 0:07:01.520 sa like a lot of people because I don't know. 0:07:01.560 --> 0:07:04.720 I haven't been in that situation where you know, I 0:07:04.839 --> 0:07:09.560 was using like that, but you know to look and go, Okay, 0:07:09.960 --> 0:07:11.800 this is not the life that I want. So the 0:07:11.800 --> 0:07:13.640 fact that you were able to kind of have that 0:07:13.680 --> 0:07:16.440 like freeze frame moment must have been just like a 0:07:16.560 --> 0:07:20.600 very out of body but also like like it was 0:07:20.640 --> 0:07:23.760 that the moment that essentially saved your life. 0:07:25.040 --> 0:07:27.840 Yeah, it was. It was that pivotal moment. I'll be 0:07:27.880 --> 0:07:30.840 honest with you, Jenna. I've got really really good intuition 0:07:31.240 --> 0:07:35.200 as a kid, Like I always had that. I know 0:07:35.360 --> 0:07:39.640 people really well, I'm good with people. I've always had that. 0:07:39.840 --> 0:07:43.680 Just I just know, and it gets punished out of 0:07:43.720 --> 0:07:46.840 you by the system, like, you know, don't trust your intuition. 0:07:47.440 --> 0:07:49.840 That's not what we're telling you to do, that creative 0:07:49.880 --> 0:07:51.880 part of you. So I just it was like that 0:07:52.000 --> 0:07:56.680 movie Sliding Doors with Grenned Paltrow. I literally just zoomed down. 0:07:57.440 --> 0:08:00.440 I zoomed down, and I'm good enough to know my 0:08:00.440 --> 0:08:04.720 myself and say, all right, if I'm doing this all 0:08:04.760 --> 0:08:07.600 over and over again, now, whatever the pain is. And 0:08:07.600 --> 0:08:09.640 that's why I talk about in my book a dose 0:08:09.680 --> 0:08:14.280 of positivity. It's dopamine, oxytose and serotonin indorphins. Right, We're 0:08:14.320 --> 0:08:18.640 all searching for those happy brain chemicals, and there's empowering 0:08:18.680 --> 0:08:22.520 ways to get that dose and disempowering. So when there 0:08:22.640 --> 0:08:26.160 is trauma or pain or whatever, or we don't feel enough, 0:08:26.800 --> 0:08:29.520 we search for the dose. Now my thing is, yes, 0:08:29.600 --> 0:08:33.920 it's genetic and environment. My thing was cocaine and alcohol. Right, 0:08:34.600 --> 0:08:37.920 But there's a point that you sit with yourself when 0:08:37.960 --> 0:08:42.600 every addict does, and they ask themselves, all right, this 0:08:42.640 --> 0:08:45.120 is not it's not fun anymore, because I can admit 0:08:45.760 --> 0:08:47.839 there was a lot of fun. I had a lot 0:08:47.840 --> 0:08:50.240 of good times. You know. It wasn't like it was 0:08:50.280 --> 0:08:53.440 all I was having fun. I was partying with rock stars. 0:08:53.480 --> 0:08:56.080 I ran all these nightclub doors. And you make a 0:08:56.120 --> 0:08:58.240 ton of money and you're in your early twenties and 0:08:58.320 --> 0:09:00.760 you think you've got the world in your hand, but 0:09:00.840 --> 0:09:05.520 really you're holding on the sands. Say it's like, oh, 0:09:05.880 --> 0:09:09.559 things that get weird. And it was just that moment 0:09:09.600 --> 0:09:11.400 where I was like sliding doors. I was like, all right, 0:09:11.440 --> 0:09:14.840 I know what happens. I think I'm this is the 0:09:14.920 --> 0:09:18.679 luckiest thing. I do everything to an extreme and I 0:09:18.760 --> 0:09:22.559 paid the price of accumulating a lot of materialistic things 0:09:22.559 --> 0:09:24.760 that I thought were going to make me happy. And 0:09:24.800 --> 0:09:28.480 I was like, I was all light, It's all light. 0:09:29.600 --> 0:09:32.760 And I stepped back, you know what I mean. And 0:09:32.760 --> 0:09:34.640 as soon as I step back, I was like, Okay, 0:09:35.760 --> 0:09:38.160 let me do. Let me take my life and then 0:09:38.920 --> 0:09:41.440 find purpose. Like the purpose was just feeling the whole. 0:09:41.520 --> 0:09:43.920 It's honest. I was lonely, I was. I mean to 0:09:43.920 --> 0:09:47.480 this day, Janna, my family never reads my books. They 0:09:47.520 --> 0:09:51.200 asked me if I still work, But you know what 0:09:51.200 --> 0:09:53.600 I mean, Like I've never had and this is this 0:09:53.640 --> 0:09:57.280 is the messed up thing. And I'll tell people this. 0:09:58.920 --> 0:10:02.400 Your intuition is the the strongest lead, and the universe 0:10:02.480 --> 0:10:05.880 has a better plan than we do. But doing the 0:10:05.960 --> 0:10:08.920 right thing isn't easy. But doing the easy thing isn't right. 0:10:11.800 --> 0:10:14.319 You know what I'm saying. You gotta stick by your 0:10:14.559 --> 0:10:18.720 good values and morals. And like I the only reason 0:10:18.720 --> 0:10:20.800 I got my green car was there was a teacher 0:10:20.840 --> 0:10:23.400 that took advantage of a student and we were out 0:10:23.400 --> 0:10:25.800 one night and the next day I had to make 0:10:25.840 --> 0:10:30.280 a decision and lead acting school to help her. And 0:10:30.320 --> 0:10:32.480 I thought, you know, I went to the same school, 0:10:32.520 --> 0:10:34.400 as Hugh Jack. When you go to acting school, you 0:10:34.480 --> 0:10:36.240 get it, you get you go get an agent and 0:10:36.240 --> 0:10:39.160 get your green card, right. And I didn't happen to 0:10:39.160 --> 0:10:41.840 get a job at a clothing store, but I preserved 0:10:42.120 --> 0:10:46.000 her values by showing her that she shouldn't be treated 0:10:46.080 --> 0:10:48.320 like that, and she shouldn't you know what I mean, 0:10:48.360 --> 0:10:51.160 No one should be treated like that. And then a 0:10:51.240 --> 0:10:53.160 customer in the clothing store that I'm giving me a 0:10:53.200 --> 0:10:57.960 green card lottery ticket. Wow, I was unaware of a 0:10:58.000 --> 0:11:00.360 lottery thing, and I sent it in and see months 0:11:00.440 --> 0:11:01.520 later I got the green cat. 0:11:03.280 --> 0:11:04.120 Do you have do you have? 0:11:04.160 --> 0:11:04.240 Like? 0:11:04.320 --> 0:11:06.040 Are you? Are you spiritual? Believing God? 0:11:06.120 --> 0:11:06.200 Like? 0:11:06.280 --> 0:11:08.240 Do you do you see any of those moments? 0:11:08.400 --> 0:11:11.800 Yeah? Everything? No, no, no, I I we all. 0:11:11.840 --> 0:11:14.679 Have a because those moments where I'm like, that's a 0:11:14.720 --> 0:11:16.080 God wink, you know what I mean. 0:11:15.960 --> 0:11:20.720 That's like absolutely yeah, that's not coincidence. Every look God 0:11:20.920 --> 0:11:25.120 puts us. Look, I always say, Okay, your calling isn't 0:11:25.120 --> 0:11:31.079 a conference call. The universe calls you right to work 0:11:31.160 --> 0:11:35.120 hard to acquire a skill set that brings value to 0:11:35.160 --> 0:11:39.400 other people. Okay, So I've always been good with people. 0:11:39.679 --> 0:11:43.839 My My job is to help people sick and suffering. Okay, 0:11:44.120 --> 0:11:46.120 I'm just naturally. I just don't have to take If 0:11:46.120 --> 0:11:48.480 I see a homeless person and they're struggling, I don't 0:11:48.520 --> 0:11:50.800 have to think, oh, I don't look, I'm not going 0:11:50.840 --> 0:11:52.719 to help you. That's what I got into doing interventions. 0:11:52.760 --> 0:11:56.120 It wasn't because I don't do what I want to do. 0:11:56.400 --> 0:11:57.679 I do what I'm called to do. 0:11:58.320 --> 0:12:15.240 That's beautiful. I always like, I look at my upbringing 0:12:15.240 --> 0:12:17.240 and I'm like, okay, I can look and guard. There 0:12:17.320 --> 0:12:20.840 was a pile of childhood traumas. I had a pile 0:12:20.920 --> 0:12:25.120 of beliefs about myself that was told to me. So 0:12:25.160 --> 0:12:28.760 then you I believed them up until you know, a 0:12:28.880 --> 0:12:33.000 year ago, and so when you start breaking that down. 0:12:33.040 --> 0:12:35.439 But it was interesting. We just had my buddy Jason 0:12:35.480 --> 0:12:37.760 waller On and he's you know, he was in the 0:12:37.800 --> 0:12:41.160 spotlight and he was a recovering addict, but he had 0:12:41.160 --> 0:12:43.559 a perfect childhood. So it's like, that's the piece where 0:12:43.559 --> 0:12:45.319 I'm always too interesting because I always go, well, it's 0:12:45.320 --> 0:12:47.640 the child's of traumas. It goes back to the childhood wounds. 0:12:47.679 --> 0:12:49.560 But it's like in his case, I'm like, then what 0:12:49.640 --> 0:12:52.400 was it? So it's like, is it like it's not 0:12:52.679 --> 0:12:56.120 just that piece, it's also the shame messages. Is it 0:12:56.160 --> 0:12:58.240 then the shame messages? So it's like, what for you 0:12:58.440 --> 0:13:02.360 was like that message that made you take this path? 0:13:03.920 --> 0:13:05.720 I think, well, if you really want to break it 0:13:05.720 --> 0:13:08.200 down scientifically, right, So if you look at the first 0:13:08.240 --> 0:13:10.719 seven years of life, that's when the brain is programmed. 0:13:11.000 --> 0:13:13.800 That's when the subconscious mind right, And we know the 0:13:13.840 --> 0:13:17.560 subconscious is ninety five percent of programming, right, We're not 0:13:17.559 --> 0:13:22.240 really conscious of of behaving until it becomes self awarely. 0:13:20.880 --> 0:13:22.000 Did you say seven. 0:13:23.360 --> 0:13:26.600 Between zero and seven? Yeah, the first seven years. So 0:13:26.679 --> 0:13:31.520 those first seven years is where the environment and the people, 0:13:31.559 --> 0:13:35.120 the place and things program the subconscious mind right. And 0:13:35.160 --> 0:13:38.520 that's you know, people don't realize it's every bit of 0:13:38.559 --> 0:13:41.480 information that comes into your brain in those seven years 0:13:41.520 --> 0:13:47.600 become our behavior and beliefs. So, and this is another 0:13:47.600 --> 0:13:50.440 thing that people't understand. Energy is the most important thing 0:13:50.480 --> 0:13:53.840 for a young child because we pick up what is 0:13:53.880 --> 0:13:57.200 being download in the relationship of the environment. So even 0:13:57.240 --> 0:13:59.160 if people tell us they love us, but they don't 0:13:59.200 --> 0:14:04.280 show love, we get confused, right, or they abuse us, 0:14:04.280 --> 0:14:06.720 but I love you, You're like, why are you abusing me? 0:14:06.840 --> 0:14:09.000 In times I mean, you love me, So maybe that's 0:14:09.040 --> 0:14:11.600 how it is. I get abused and that's how and 0:14:11.600 --> 0:14:14.600 then the person says, I love me, right, Or you're 0:14:14.640 --> 0:14:17.440 around alcoholism, or you're around screaming, and you're around all 0:14:17.440 --> 0:14:20.960 these things that we don't know have built that software. Now, 0:14:22.080 --> 0:14:24.200 So when we go out in the world and we 0:14:24.240 --> 0:14:27.400 start to function, we're going to be triggered by all 0:14:27.440 --> 0:14:30.800 these things, and we're unaware of what's triggering us because 0:14:30.840 --> 0:14:35.680 guess what, it's buried in the subconscious. So let's just 0:14:35.760 --> 0:14:40.480 say you, as Jenna, used to get mocked every day 0:14:40.520 --> 0:14:42.600 by your neighbor, all right, and he was just mean, 0:14:42.720 --> 0:14:45.840 he bullied you. And at the time, you know, he 0:14:45.920 --> 0:14:48.480 was a little older and he smoked cigarettes, and the 0:14:48.600 --> 0:14:53.520 nicotine it has the association with that abuse. Right, years 0:14:53.560 --> 0:14:58.720 go by and someone starts smoking cigarettes and that trauma 0:14:58.440 --> 0:15:01.160 is buried in the sub and you don't know what 0:15:01.200 --> 0:15:03.880 it is about that person's smoking cigarettetion, like I don't 0:15:03.880 --> 0:15:06.800 feel good because it stays buried in your amigdala and 0:15:06.800 --> 0:15:09.920 the malig The amygdala, the primitive part of the brain, 0:15:10.720 --> 0:15:13.800 can seem doing to fight flight, freeze or feed mode 0:15:14.080 --> 0:15:18.040 before the body can actually, you know, we can rationally 0:15:18.040 --> 0:15:22.400 think in our prefrontal cortex what's going on. So when 0:15:22.440 --> 0:15:24.280 people say, like when they say stuff like I was 0:15:24.320 --> 0:15:26.840 so emotional, I wasn't thinking, You're like, yeah, because your 0:15:26.880 --> 0:15:29.840 emotions at hijack you to say something, and then afterwards 0:15:29.840 --> 0:15:31.960 you're like, oh my god, or like you send that 0:15:32.080 --> 0:15:36.360 email or you chase someone seven exits. You're what I'm saying, 0:15:36.520 --> 0:15:39.840 it's like we do it because but we don't realize that. 0:15:40.480 --> 0:15:43.800 And I always say, it's like, if you get triggered, 0:15:43.840 --> 0:15:46.080 the body gives us signals, like if you're hot around 0:15:46.160 --> 0:15:51.360 someone or if you feel uneasy, that's the body saying warning. 0:15:51.840 --> 0:15:54.680 And if you start to like looking really deeper into 0:15:54.720 --> 0:15:57.400 the subconscious. Right, So I'll give you a per example. 0:15:57.440 --> 0:15:58.760 Where were you September eleventh. 0:15:59.520 --> 0:16:04.000 I was in junior year of German fra Barner's class. 0:16:04.800 --> 0:16:06.560 Do you see how you didn't even have to think 0:16:06.560 --> 0:16:11.000 about it? Yeah, that traumatic event is so ingrained in 0:16:11.040 --> 0:16:14.160 your subconscious mind that I just said that and you 0:16:14.280 --> 0:16:16.680 knew exactly where it was. And now think about this, 0:16:17.120 --> 0:16:19.560 Think about the first seven years of your life and 0:16:19.600 --> 0:16:22.680 then what goes on to that that's in there that 0:16:22.800 --> 0:16:25.840 you may not even know that it's triggered from this 0:16:26.000 --> 0:16:28.680 our five centuries. Right, you say something, you hear something 0:16:28.840 --> 0:16:33.000 I could say, you know, sweet Child of mind, the 0:16:33.040 --> 0:16:35.760 song sweet Child of Mine? What's your first opinion of 0:16:35.800 --> 0:16:36.240 that song? 0:16:36.440 --> 0:16:39.040 It's great? I love it. This sing along all right? 0:16:39.560 --> 0:16:42.800 But right, but you have a good memory, right, yeah, 0:16:43.040 --> 0:16:46.640 So it's like the otherse things. So it doesn't matter. People. 0:16:47.200 --> 0:16:50.200 People could say they have a perfect upbringing, but if 0:16:50.200 --> 0:16:55.520 you start really digging into their childhood, you will see 0:16:55.960 --> 0:17:00.520 that they've had to perform a character. Right. The only 0:17:00.600 --> 0:17:03.480 what reason that we use is week if we can't 0:17:03.520 --> 0:17:10.240 be authentic and show ourselves unconditionally. M Yeah, because why 0:17:10.240 --> 0:17:11.760 would you have to write. 0:17:11.800 --> 0:17:12.800 Mike, do you have kids? 0:17:14.280 --> 0:17:14.520 One? 0:17:15.160 --> 0:17:16.920 What's the age? 0:17:17.359 --> 0:17:19.600 He's five? He's a boy. But I didn't download all 0:17:19.640 --> 0:17:23.920 my insanity on him. He's clean, dude, he is. He 0:17:23.960 --> 0:17:28.120 lives in the zone. He's live. Is our self educate him. 0:17:28.400 --> 0:17:33.240 He loves people like there's no stress. This is so funny. 0:17:33.320 --> 0:17:35.600 I got beaten so bad as a kid and abused, 0:17:35.800 --> 0:17:38.440 and you'll laugh, right. I never raised my voice around him, 0:17:38.480 --> 0:17:40.400 and it takes a lot to get me triggered now. 0:17:40.800 --> 0:17:42.840 And I never yell in front of him, and I 0:17:42.880 --> 0:17:44.360 was on the phone in the day and I was like, dude, 0:17:44.440 --> 0:17:47.160 you're not getting He's like, Dad, what is it. Buddy's 0:17:47.200 --> 0:17:51.560 like that's way too loud. I was like, little brat. 0:17:51.320 --> 0:17:53.840 Like that's so cool. 0:17:54.160 --> 0:17:57.680 Yeah, chegged me like yeah, you don't raise your voice 0:17:57.760 --> 0:18:03.600 like that. Like I was this guy really your little turn, 0:18:04.080 --> 0:18:06.320 like he was checking me. He checked me. 0:18:06.480 --> 0:18:08.080 You have no idea what I heard? 0:18:08.920 --> 0:18:12.080 What? Yeah, you know what I'm saying, like exactly like 0:18:12.200 --> 0:18:15.919 you and I protected. Yeah, I'm like no, Like I 0:18:15.920 --> 0:18:19.240 had this beautiful moment because I was pushed so bad 0:18:19.280 --> 0:18:21.600 into sports and I was a really really great athlete 0:18:21.680 --> 0:18:25.920 and that my mum was really sick and just mentally 0:18:26.000 --> 0:18:28.159 not where and when i'd win, she just call me 0:18:28.200 --> 0:18:30.760 a show off and if I lost, my dad would 0:18:30.800 --> 0:18:33.320 abuse me. Oh yeah. It was really bad, right, And 0:18:33.359 --> 0:18:35.600 they never treated my having three siblings like that, because 0:18:35.640 --> 0:18:38.199 my older brother got hisself for latist at seven, my 0:18:38.280 --> 0:18:41.400 sister was thirteen weeks premature, and my other brother kind 0:18:41.440 --> 0:18:44.080 of it was like the you know, he got his 0:18:44.160 --> 0:18:47.400 own kind of mental stuff from them, but no abuse. 0:18:48.400 --> 0:18:51.240 So he wanted to sit out t ball and I 0:18:51.280 --> 0:18:54.480 was like fine, set that out whatever. Any any watched 0:18:54.880 --> 0:18:57.840 watched the game and watching, and then the coach said, 0:18:57.880 --> 0:18:59.320 do you want to come in? I said, I don't know. 0:18:59.320 --> 0:19:01.840 I'm asking five. I'm not gonna push him. It's T ball. 0:19:02.400 --> 0:19:05.679 I'm playing for the Yankees. And he dressed up as 0:19:05.720 --> 0:19:08.719 Bumblebee one day and the coach said, you know, Bumblebee, 0:19:09.400 --> 0:19:11.200 the team needs you. He got on the field and 0:19:11.280 --> 0:19:13.639 crushed it and won the game ball, And it was 0:19:13.720 --> 0:19:17.640 really good for me to not feel like I don't 0:19:17.680 --> 0:19:20.159 live vicariously through him, like he doesn't have to be 0:19:20.359 --> 0:19:24.520 this person. I'm gonna lean into who he is, and 0:19:24.600 --> 0:19:27.800 then I'm going to give him the skills and teach him, 0:19:27.840 --> 0:19:31.399 displant and model that behavior. So he goes, all right, 0:19:31.520 --> 0:19:32.960 my dad's up at three or four in the morning. 0:19:33.160 --> 0:19:36.000 My dad meditates. My dad does this. My dad's kind. 0:19:36.160 --> 0:19:38.680 He works hard. All right, that's what I see. I 0:19:38.760 --> 0:19:40.760 guess I'll do that, you know what I mean, not like, 0:19:41.359 --> 0:19:44.120 go do it, go do it my way. I don't 0:19:44.160 --> 0:19:46.240 know his way. You know, I don't know his way. 0:19:46.280 --> 0:19:49.159 I've got to kind of give him a good healthy 0:19:49.280 --> 0:19:50.679 environment to mold himself. 0:19:51.520 --> 0:19:52.480 Oh but I love that. 0:19:52.560 --> 0:19:55.080 Though, especially, I mean because I have a seven and 0:19:55.160 --> 0:19:58.280 a four year old and so you know, I and 0:19:58.400 --> 0:20:00.800 I a couple of years ago through a divorce, and 0:20:00.840 --> 0:20:02.560 it's just you know, trying to be like okay, like 0:20:02.640 --> 0:20:06.119 because I know these ages because my my childhood goes wound, 0:20:06.160 --> 0:20:08.080 goes back to six. So it's like I've been so 0:20:08.320 --> 0:20:11.600 hyper vigilant of like not you know, screwing them up, 0:20:11.800 --> 0:20:14.200 and like, I know there'll be something probably I don't 0:20:14.240 --> 0:20:16.760 know which what it is, but like, you know, just 0:20:17.480 --> 0:20:20.800 doing the very best with with that piece. But I'm curious, 0:20:21.560 --> 0:20:24.639 you know, with your book, is there a is there 0:20:24.760 --> 0:20:28.119 something where you still struggle with positivity at times? 0:20:29.680 --> 0:20:33.280 Oh? Yeah, and this is your love is so absolutely yeah. 0:20:33.320 --> 0:20:37.560 So they go, God will give you what you know 0:20:39.080 --> 0:20:41.879 you can't you can you can handle or whatever the 0:20:41.960 --> 0:20:43.840 thing is. So you know, I get in the book deal? 0:20:43.960 --> 0:20:45.440 Was how to get a book deal? I had? My 0:20:45.560 --> 0:20:51.960 agent was useless. I had to Yeah, I had to 0:20:52.040 --> 0:20:55.800 take on a crazy job. So I intuitively know. 0:20:55.840 --> 0:20:56.159 What to do. 0:20:56.359 --> 0:20:59.440 So I get a call to detox this guy and 0:20:59.480 --> 0:21:00.720 I don't want to do it. Its COVID and I 0:21:00.720 --> 0:21:03.120 don't want to do it, and my agent's like, I'll 0:21:03.160 --> 0:21:04.040 sell the book. Don't worry. 0:21:04.359 --> 0:21:05.359 Why don't you want to do it? 0:21:05.520 --> 0:21:08.840 What was the like? It is just like it's hard 0:21:09.680 --> 0:21:12.600 Jenna and I and I'm not I'm not going to 0:21:14.200 --> 0:21:17.600 there's if you call me for help. Right as a person, 0:21:18.520 --> 0:21:21.960 I don't know. I've never had anyone people abandoned me 0:21:21.960 --> 0:21:26.639 and didn't believe in me. I don't abandon people. I'm empathetic. 0:21:26.840 --> 0:21:28.720 I've see you getting beaten down. I stand up. 0:21:28.760 --> 0:21:30.760 I don't have people under web republic, you know what 0:21:30.840 --> 0:21:33.879 I mean? Like I was, I was meeting in you know, 0:21:34.040 --> 0:21:37.320