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Speaker 1: I mean, I just said to Chip and Susan, and

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Speaker 1: we've got to start recording because I feel like we're

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Speaker 1: missing really good content. We're already laughing. Basically, I said

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Speaker 1: to Susan, I love your story about not being satisfied

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Speaker 1: at forty and finding a way to really include sex

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Speaker 1: and enhance sex in your marriage. And you said, oh,

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Speaker 1: I still deal with that. My pussy is never satisfied.

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Speaker 1: I'm never satisfied. The minute she's satisfied, she's all purring

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Speaker 1: and happy, and then two hours later she's like, I'm

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Speaker 1: not kidding enough. I don't know what it is, but jealous.

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Speaker 1: She's judgmental, she's ernery, she's bossy, she's sassy, she's hungry.

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Speaker 1: She's like, ah, living with this thing in my pants.

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Speaker 1: I mean, guys, I think guys are the only ones

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Speaker 1: that that have experienced like this where they can't control themselves.

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Speaker 1: Just the other day, I found myself giving my my

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Speaker 1: husband's ship test, and I'm like, that's a ship test?

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Speaker 1: How did I do that? Like? I thought it was

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Speaker 1: so involved that I could go not do these. It's ridiculous. Fundamental.

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Speaker 1: Our physiology is Oh, I don't know when you're like, well,

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Speaker 1: you obviously don't love me. You wouldn't you know whatever.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't remember what it was. I'm

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Speaker 1: really bad. I'm one of those kind of people where

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Speaker 1: I can have like a knockdown, drag outfight. I get

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Speaker 1: it all out of me, I'm all done, and then

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Speaker 1: the other person can remember every single word I said

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Speaker 1: forever and I can't remember. Don't you hate that? Yes?

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Speaker 1: Actually the person that remembers every single word though, So

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Speaker 1: you and I would really go at it, do that.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna disadvantage. Yes, yes, I'm a cancer and that's

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Speaker 1: like a huge part of our personality. So there you go,

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Speaker 1: Lucky Crutch. I try not to when I'm in my

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Speaker 1: evolved self, and I mean it's hard. Susan listen if

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Speaker 1: she does, she she's good about being called out on that,

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Speaker 1: So this is true. I can take criticism. So there

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Speaker 1: you go. Well we are here with Susan Bratton. That

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Speaker 1: was quite the introduction. I'm sure people are like, what

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Speaker 1: is happening right now? Um? But we you're an intimacy

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Speaker 1: expert and coach, and I want to talk through a

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Speaker 1: lot of coach. I'm sorry, an intimacy intimacy expert. Would

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Speaker 1: that be the proper reason I say I'm not a

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Speaker 1: coach is that I don't do anyone on one work.

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Speaker 1: That's company where I published Passionate Love Making Techniques in

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Speaker 1: Bedroom Communication Skills. So basically, I'm like, I give you

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Speaker 1: the d I y, I give you the workshop in

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Speaker 1: a box if you will, And I give you the videos,

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Speaker 1: the audios, the e books, the workbooks to work your

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Speaker 1: ship out yourself, step by step by step, or to

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Speaker 1: learn new skills and increment your knowledge yourself so you

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Speaker 1: can do what I like to call transforming having sex

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Speaker 1: into making love. My kind of my thing is heart

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Speaker 1: connected love making techniques, which include communication skills. Yeah, well,

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Speaker 1: let's I think that's a really good place to start.

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Speaker 1: So what would you say are the main differences between

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Speaker 1: love making and just having sex? Well? I think that

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Speaker 1: having sex is kind of like a friction event. You know,

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Speaker 1: It's like, Okay, if we rub our parts together, whatever

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Speaker 1: parts they are, we'll get to have orgasms hopefully plea

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Speaker 1: And uh, that's not intimate connection. The reason I say

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Speaker 1: that I'm an intimacy expert is that when you have

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Speaker 1: heart connection, when you can look each other in the

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Speaker 1: eyes instead of having sex. That is, you know, your

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Speaker 1: eyes are closed and you're checked out and you're just

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Speaker 1: feeling it and they're just feeling it. That's not that's

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Speaker 1: not intimacy. When you don't hold each other and stroke

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Speaker 1: each other's bodies, when you don't cherish the person, if

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Speaker 1: you're not deep breathing, if that's not you know, if

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Speaker 1: you're not just like really connecting with each other's breaths

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Speaker 1: and being super close and having really sexy kissing and

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Speaker 1: rubbing your hands all over your lover because they feel

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Speaker 1: so good to you. Those are what I would consider

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Speaker 1: heart connected. And the other piece of my kind of

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Speaker 1: little phrase heart connected. Conscious love making techniques is conscious

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Speaker 1: means the communication piece. It means I'm here, I'm with you,

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Speaker 1: I've chosen you, I'm present, I'm invested in our love making.

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Speaker 1: I'm I'm here through the fix and the thins, the

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Speaker 1: rocky moments when your yoni gets cranky and it's all

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Speaker 1: bitchy or whatever it might be. Um, that's the conscious piece,

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Speaker 1: which is that I'm not ashamed about my sex. I'm

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Speaker 1: i'm i'm I'm surrender her to my pleasure with you.

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Speaker 1: I'm not trying to suck my stomach in. I'm not fake,

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Speaker 1: I'm not performative. I mean, one of the things that

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Speaker 1: I think pornography has done is that it's really hurt

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Speaker 1: sex because pornography is made for men to jerk off too.

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Speaker 1: It's made because men need to keep their sperm topped

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Speaker 1: off because at any moment they're gonna be called on

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Speaker 1: to perform, and they can't tell. In the heterosexual world,

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Speaker 1: they can't tell when their woman is going to want

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Speaker 1: them because she's on this moon cycle, so they gotta

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Speaker 1: be ready. So that's why they're so driven to masturbate.

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Speaker 1: So porn grew up to provide the things that they

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Speaker 1: want to watch to get off. But then everybody thinks

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Speaker 1: that's what sex is, and it ends up being performance

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Speaker 1: and friction rather than what I think lovers want, which

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Speaker 1: is intimacy, connection UM, surrender to pleasure UM, a co

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Speaker 1: mingling of orgasmic pleasure UM multiple male orgasm, full body

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Speaker 1: energy orgasms, touching you everywhere, not having shame, having joy

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Speaker 1: and pleasure and laughter and touch and fun and and

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Speaker 1: so the conscious piece of it is I'm I'm totally

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Speaker 1: showing up in my heart and my connection for you,

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Speaker 1: right now in this moment of our love making. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I love that. I have a friend who says that

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Speaker 1: a lot of the things like that pornography kind of

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Speaker 1: provides for our culture, has like made our culture think

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Speaker 1: is that basically two people masturbating together is sex. And

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Speaker 1: it's like, that's not at all the connection I just

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Speaker 1: heard you talk about, which like I want that. That

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Speaker 1: sounds amazing. Is that possible in a casual setting or

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Speaker 1: do you think it that's only possible in sort of

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Speaker 1: a zoned in relationship whether people fully know each other.

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Speaker 1: I think it's possible to have casual, heart connected sex

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Speaker 1: because I think what you bring is your vulnerability and

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Speaker 1: a loving heart and soul to the person in the moment,

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Speaker 1: and you can have that. I mean, you've had one

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Speaker 1: night stands that touched your heart, you have long fuck

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Speaker 1: fest flings in remote perhaps just make Jica why I

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Speaker 1: said that, like Church Lady Jamaica kind of manifest it

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Speaker 1: for me. I'm I'm manifesting for you. What do you want?

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Speaker 1: What would be like the perfect Jamaican sexual fantasy for you? Actually,

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Speaker 1: I'm doing an intentional celibacy right now, and so for me,

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Speaker 1: it would only involve myself, Susan. Alright, great, so you

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Speaker 1: need to take the four different kinds of vibrators that

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Speaker 1: I recommend for women for orgasmic cross training. Oh now

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Speaker 1: this is getting into about this. I want to know

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Speaker 1: what they are, of course I do. Well. The first one,

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Speaker 1: of course, we all know there's vibrators, right, some kinds

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Speaker 1: of vibrators. There's vibrators that are buzzy, and vibrators that

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Speaker 1: are rumbly and things like that, and that's great. Um.

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Speaker 1: The second kind is what's called a thruster, And a

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Speaker 1: thruster is actually a vibrator that goes inside you and

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Speaker 1: it rocks back and forth, so it's kind of like

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Speaker 1: intercourse done for you can tickle the g spot at

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Speaker 1: the same time, and it can be hands free, so

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Speaker 1: you could you could be playing with your own breasts

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Speaker 1: while the thruster is doing its thing to you. Um.

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Speaker 1: Those are really good for women who haven't been actively

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Speaker 1: sexual recently and they're like, I hope this thing is

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Speaker 1: not broken. You know, you gotta get some blood flow

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Speaker 1: going to get the cob webs out of there. It's right, yeah,

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Speaker 1: thrust the cob webs out. Um. And then there's what's

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Speaker 1: called an air stimulator, and that is kind of the Womanizers,

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Speaker 1: the most famous brand. It's like the it sucks and

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Speaker 1: blows the clip. Yes, yes, yes, those are nice. And

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Speaker 1: they have a new one called the Duo, which actually

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Speaker 1: also has a G spot vibrator, so you can get

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Speaker 1: your clip sucked while you're vibrating your G spot at

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Speaker 1: the same time, and that's a really nice blended orgasm.

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Speaker 1: And then the fourth kind is essentially a motor boat

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Speaker 1: for your clip. It's like a liquor that and my

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Speaker 1: favorite one of those is called the bolt top by

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Speaker 1: fun Factory. That's a really nice one. So if you

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Speaker 1: have all these different types of sex toys, something to

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Speaker 1: stimulate your G spot, something to stimulate your clitterers, something

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Speaker 1: that goes inside your vaginas, something that goes outside, something

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Speaker 1: that's a big buzz, something that's a small kind of

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Speaker 1: buzz or big rumble of small buzz. You know, something

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Speaker 1: superpower packed air stimulate. You know you've got all this

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Speaker 1: different stuff. Number Number one thing it does is it

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Speaker 1: it teaches your body how to come from a lot

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Speaker 1: of different stimulation, which means you just generally become a

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Speaker 1: better comer so that when you're with a partner, you're

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Speaker 1: able to come more easily. A lot of people think

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Speaker 1: I'm just funny. I'm writing an article for a website

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Speaker 1: right now about how um sex toys don't decrease your

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Speaker 1: orgasmic ability. They increase it even when you're with a partner. Okay,

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Speaker 1: that's so interesting. I'm sorry to cut you off. I've

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Speaker 1: always heard that that, like, if you were using a

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Speaker 1: vibrator when you're by yourself, then you're gonna have a

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Speaker 1: harder time orgasm ng with your partner because you get

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Speaker 1: so used to that artificial stimulation. That's not true. How

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Speaker 1: learning how to come from different types of stimulation is

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Speaker 1: the trick, right, So you start to cross train with

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Speaker 1: different vibrators. Usually people have one path to orgasm when

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Speaker 1: they start, because orgasms are learned skill. I mean, there

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Speaker 1: are twenty kinds of orgasms for the male body, for

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Speaker 1: chip for the female. Yeah, and the twenty one is

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Speaker 1: wild cards, so it's really unlimited. There are ways people

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Speaker 1: are coming that I haven't even heard about, and I

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Speaker 1: heard about a lot of them. So what's great is

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Speaker 1: I mean, whether you're an XX or x Y chromosome person,

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Speaker 1: no matter where you are across the gender gender spectrum,

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Speaker 1: all sexual gender identity expression. It doesn't really matter what

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Speaker 1: it is, because you come. We come the same way,

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Speaker 1: the masculine and feminine bodies. The different genders come the

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Speaker 1: same way. Men have a prostate, women have a g spot,

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Speaker 1: women have an any in their vagina where we go internal.

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Speaker 1: Men are external with their penis. But we still all

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Speaker 1: can have nipplegasms and throat gasms, at puchasms and core

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Speaker 1: orgasms or bellygasms. We can have orgasms from prostate stimulation,

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Speaker 1: from penis stimulation. Men can be multi or asthma. They

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Speaker 1: can have full body orgasms. I mean, there's so many

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Speaker 1: different kinds of or And what's interesting is that there's

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Speaker 1: actually three categories of orgasms. There's the places to touch,

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Speaker 1: which is a lot of what I've been listing, and

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Speaker 1: then there's and each time if you start out with

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Speaker 1: the one way you come like some guys. Some guys

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Speaker 1: stroke their penis just at the base and hardly touched

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Speaker 1: the top. Other guys they're just really at the top.

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Speaker 1: Other guys super light touch, got to get the ball.

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Speaker 1: Other guys are like it's got to be like practically

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Speaker 1: you're squeeze, you're squeezing it to death and then you know,

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Speaker 1: so everybody has such a different experience, but the touch

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Speaker 1: locations are one thing. And then there's the kind of

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Speaker 1: techniques like becoming a multi orgasmic man without you know,

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Speaker 1: learning to have orgasms without ejaculating, because there are two

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Speaker 1: separate systems in the body. So any man can come

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Speaker 1: and come and come and come and come. Any any

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Speaker 1: male bodied penison or can have unlimited orgasms, and then

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Speaker 1: he can choose when he wants to ejaculate. He can

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Speaker 1: he can gain ejaculatory choice. Uh so that or you know,

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Speaker 1: um expanded orgasm practice learning how to get into an

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Speaker 1: orgasm and take that moment of climax and just stretch

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Speaker 1: time out like taf a. Anybody can do that. You

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Speaker 1: can calm and comm and calm. These are all learned skills,

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Speaker 1: including the third kind of orgasms, which are orgasms that

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Speaker 1: are generated from objects, whether those be you know, still

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Speaker 1: let o heels get me off, or I love leather chaps,

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Speaker 1: or I'm sitting on a sybian or I have these

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Speaker 1: sex toys or whatever it is. They really can create

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Speaker 1: orgasmic release for you. So when you learn orgasm, you

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Speaker 1: usually have one way you start, But then if you

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Speaker 1: keep trying and and if you're aware that there are

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Speaker 1: all these orgasm since then you are the kind of

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Speaker 1: person who wants to have those experiences. Then it's as

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Speaker 1: simple as learning how to do it. It's like, once

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Speaker 1: you know that it's there and you know how to

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Speaker 1: do it, your body is available to have it. I

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Speaker 1: did a series this summer called Come with Me the

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Speaker 1: Twenty Kinds of Orgasms, and I described to have each

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Speaker 1: one so you can just start adding to your skill set. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so is this a mental or a physical thing? Like?

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Speaker 1: How do Yeah? I mean, can you walk us through

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Speaker 1: like some of them? I'm just I'm curious because it's like,

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Speaker 1: well she did she just an example of well? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: like how how to relearn something I don't know? Like

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Speaker 1: if if you, as a male, if you feel like

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Speaker 1: you're about to ejaculate, how do you extend that? Yeah? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: how is that not a physical thing? How is that mental? Well?

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Speaker 1: The first thing that's mental about it is um that

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Speaker 1: you have to understand that ejaculation and orgasm are separate

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Speaker 1: systems in the male body. So most guys think when

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Speaker 1: I when I have an orgasm, I ejaculate that's just

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Speaker 1: how it is. Actually, it's not just what you do

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Speaker 1: because you learned that, because that's what's endemic in our culture.

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Speaker 1: But the Taoists have been separating ejaculation in orgasm for

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Speaker 1: thousands of years, you know. So um, then you're like, oh, okay,

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Speaker 1: so I don't actually have to ejaculate, and I can

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Speaker 1: have an orgasm in my body, but ejaculate doesn't have

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Speaker 1: to come out of my penis. Okay, So how do

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Speaker 1: I do that? So one of my programs, it's called

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Speaker 1: the Multi Orgasmic Lover for Men, which teaches men a

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Speaker 1: whole series of things. Uh. The first is to be

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Speaker 1: present because for a lot of men, they've trained themselves.

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Speaker 1: They started masturbating at an early age, and they did

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Speaker 1: it furtively, and they did it quickly, and so men

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Speaker 1: have kind of trained themselves to come fast. Men's number

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Speaker 1: one sexual problem is that they come too fast. Women's

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Speaker 1: number one sexual problem is that they can't come. It's great,

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Speaker 1: It's like we're so at the opposite ends of the spectrum,

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Speaker 1: and and yet we can all come the same, and

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Speaker 1: they're all learned skills. So what I like to do

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Speaker 1: is just make people aware and what you're aware. I

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Speaker 1: call myself an orgasm knot like an astronaut that goes

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Speaker 1: to the far silver Lemmy jumpsuit or naturally super cute

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Speaker 1: spaceship with very sexy modern futurisms. You should be yes.

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Speaker 1: And once someone shows you the map to the territory,

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Speaker 1: when someone tells you as possible and shows you how

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Speaker 1: to do it, then you can start practicing. So the

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Speaker 1: multi orgasmic de Lover for Men program which you can

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Speaker 1: get at tuning for tip dot com. The tuning for

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Speaker 1: concept is that once you bran once you can get

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Speaker 1: beyond worrying about coming too fast with these techniques which

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Speaker 1: I'm about to tell you, and you can bring your

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Speaker 1: presence to your partner. Then you can show your turn

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Speaker 1: on because it's not going to make you come too fast.

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Speaker 1: And when you show your arousal, then that turns your

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Speaker 1: partner on. Just like you're holding two tuning forks and

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Speaker 1: you wrap one against something hard and hold it against

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Speaker 1: the other one and the other one starts to resonate.

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Speaker 1: That's how turn on is the hotter the person, you know,

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Speaker 1: the sexier and more turned on one person is and

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Speaker 1: shows that that allows the other person to get into

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Speaker 1: their turn on more until you're really getting turned on together.

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Speaker 1: So you, yeah, you have to um learn to separate

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Speaker 1: orgasm from ejaculation. And essentially what you do is you

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Speaker 1: you you learn how to do this during masturbation, but

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Speaker 1: then you can use this during intercourse or penetration I

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Speaker 1: will just say penetration. And the way that it works

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Speaker 1: is you start to stimulate yourself and you get yourself

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Speaker 1: close to coming, but but then you learn to back

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Speaker 1: off and you learn how to take yourself up and

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Speaker 1: down your arousal ladder. And you do that through something

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Speaker 1: we call the me breath, and the me breath is

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Speaker 1: a squeezing, a breath and a thrusting technique. The squeeze

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Speaker 1: helps you keep from ejaculating, the breathing makes everything calm

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Speaker 1: down when you're getting close to that point of no return,

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Speaker 1: and the thrust is actually a hip rock that allows

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Speaker 1: you to calm down. The pelvis will continue enuing to

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Speaker 1: deliver pleasure to your partner. That you can do while

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Speaker 1: you're doing the squeezing and the breathing and pull your

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Speaker 1: arousal back while you're staying present with your partner. And

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Speaker 1: it's a learned skill that you start with step one

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Speaker 1: and you build. It's kind of like a golf swing

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Speaker 1: or learning how to drive a car. You know, when

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Speaker 1: you started learning how to drive a car, you were

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Speaker 1: looking out the front, you were looking in the rear

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Speaker 1: view mirror, you were learning how to shift. You had

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Speaker 1: your foot on the gas, your foot on the foot

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Speaker 1: on the brake. It's a lot of things. And you're

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Speaker 1: like sixteen or fifteen or whatever. You learn how to drive,

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Speaker 1: and you're like, this is a lot of stuff. I

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Speaker 1: have to do all it wants. And that's how learning

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Speaker 1: to become a multi orgasmic ban is. You go from

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Speaker 1: being able to calm down your urge to ejaculate to

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Speaker 1: being able to gain ejaculatory choice and to be able

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Speaker 1: to draw the turn on into your body and up

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Speaker 1: your body through breath and awareness and spreading the pleasure

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Speaker 1: rather than letting it exit out your body. You can

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Speaker 1: come whenever you want to. You don't have It's not

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Speaker 1: semen retention. It's just being able to control. It's like

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Speaker 1: owning the gassing and the breaking of your turn on

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Speaker 1: system in your body. It's so interesting to me to

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Speaker 1: listen you talk about this step. But first of all,

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Speaker 1: I was sitting here thinking happy Friday morning, y'all. Like

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Speaker 1: the people are in they're like what wow. Um. But

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Speaker 1: the second thing I'm thinking is there's so much intention

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Speaker 1: behind what you're saying, Like you can practice this technique,

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Speaker 1: you can learn about this. There's so many other factors

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Speaker 1: and facets to our bodies than we're even talking about,

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Speaker 1: and like sort of to go back to the porn thing,

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Speaker 1: we're just talking about like bumping up against each other

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Speaker 1: until we come kind of thing. And it's like the

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Speaker 1: reason people probably get bored in sex and their relationships

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Speaker 1: is because they're not diving deeper into the stuff, like

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Speaker 1: you're saying, like, we don't practice sex or learning about

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Speaker 1: sex in the same way we do anything else in

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Speaker 1: our lives. It's so kind of crazy that we just

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Speaker 1: like missed the mark on this thing. Well, it's it's

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Speaker 1: almost like we all feel like you have to come

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Speaker 1: into a relationship a professional and be created it already,

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Speaker 1: rather than figuring out how to make sex with your

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Speaker 1: partner the best that it can be because everyone performs differently.

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Speaker 1: So it's like, yeah, absolutely right, you've already talked about

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Speaker 1: how moody your pussy is. I'm sure she's different every day.

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Speaker 1: She's a count well actually a one hour take. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: take that topic though a little bit, because the way

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Speaker 1: that I found you, I was listening to you on

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Speaker 1: another podcast and you were talking about your story and

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Speaker 1: you said your whole business started when you were what

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Speaker 1: the age of forty? Is that accurate? Because you were

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Speaker 1: unsatisfied in your own sexual relationship with your husband. And

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Speaker 1: this is not a knock on him, because think it's shifting.

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Speaker 1: You know, we just didn't know. We didn't know exactly,

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Speaker 1: and so talk us through your journey and how that started,

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Speaker 1: what you were going through then, what you were bumping

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Speaker 1: up against in your marriage. Yeah. Sure, Well, when I

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Speaker 1: was in my early forties and I've been married for

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Speaker 1: about a decade to my husband, UM, I really wasn't

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Speaker 1: enjoying having sex with him because at the time, sex

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Speaker 1: for us was intercourse and um, I mean I could

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Speaker 1: get myself off with a vibrator, So it wasn't that

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Speaker 1: I couldn't come, but I wasn't coming from intercourse, and

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Speaker 1: I just wanted less and less and less of it

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Speaker 1: over the years because it really just wasn't that satisfying

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Speaker 1: for me. I felt, honestly like a masturbatory sock, like

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Speaker 1: he could have just masturbated into He was just masturbating

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Speaker 1: into me. He was getting off, but I wasn't. And

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Speaker 1: Dr Laurie Mints did a TED talk called the Orgasm

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Speaker 1: Gap about how easy it is for men to come

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Speaker 1: during penetration and how difficult it is for women to

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Speaker 1: come from penetration. And what I think is interesting about

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Speaker 1: that is what I said earlier. Men come too fast

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Speaker 1: and women take forever to get there. And a part

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Speaker 1: of that is that men have some natural competitive advantages sexually.

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Speaker 1: I think gay men have such great sex because there

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Speaker 1: are a few stumbling blocks that aren't in the way

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Speaker 1: for them because they're on the same page physiologically. And

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Speaker 1: that is that men are testosterone dominant, which is the

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Speaker 1: hormone of of sex drive. So they're both hornier than

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Speaker 1: two women who would get together. That's why there's such

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Speaker 1: a thing as lesbian bed death right. And women we

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Speaker 1: go through this twenty day moon cycle, so we go

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Speaker 1: into asterisk and we have, you know, our kind of

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Speaker 1: five day horny window, and we're willing to have sex

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Speaker 1: at other times, but we tend to be more more

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Speaker 1: horny on certain days than others where men are more

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Speaker 1: steady state horny every day if they're healthy. And then

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Speaker 1: for the masculine because he's got the audie, that penis

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Speaker 1: with three long shafts, essentially these these spongey shafts that

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Speaker 1: they're so long and straight it's like a straight shot.

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Speaker 1: They just the blood goes down into their pelvic bowl

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Speaker 1: and it shoots right in and gives them a big

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Speaker 1: heart on rural fast where female anatomy it's more like

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Speaker 1: a pachinko game. It's um, it's it's like I always say,

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Speaker 1: it's like an English muffin. You have. This is our

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Speaker 1: our erectile tissue network is completely circling our vaginal opening.

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Speaker 1: So we have all this directile tissue. But it's it's

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Speaker 1: like nooks and crannies where it just takes a while

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Speaker 1: for the blood to get into those nooks and crannies.

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Speaker 1: And so often women are having penetrative sex way before

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Speaker 1: they're fully engorged, so they're basically having flaccid, non erective sex.

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Speaker 1: And if you think about what an erection is, it's

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Speaker 1: a it's a stiffy that goes from you being small

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Speaker 1: to you being big, and when you're big, you've got

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Speaker 1: all the surface area sending all these signals of pleasure

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Speaker 1: to the brain, which is why eyes come too fast,

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Speaker 1: because it got all these pleasure signals where she needs

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Speaker 1: all this time to get turned on, and then when

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Speaker 1: her yonie is nice and plump and fluffed up, then

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Speaker 1: the pleasure signals start going. That's why day two sex

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Speaker 1: is often better for women than day one sex, or

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Speaker 1: or like if you have a weekend's worth of sex,

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Speaker 1: the orgasms at the on Sunday are better than the

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Speaker 1: ones on Friday because you've gotten the blood flow going.

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Speaker 1: But we didn't know this. Nobody knows these things, and

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Speaker 1: so we were having sex. He was ready to go.

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Speaker 1: He penetrate me head orgasm. I wasn't even turned on yet.

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Speaker 1: I just didn't know. And so this is all hindsight

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Speaker 1: is twenty. What happened was we said, all right, well,

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Speaker 1: we see all our friends getting divorced, and we know

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Speaker 1: it's not money for them either, because we were all employed,

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Speaker 1: we all had good jobs, and we knew it was sexuality.

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Speaker 1: And we're like, we're not going to be one of

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Speaker 1: those people. We're not getting divorced. We're great together, we're

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Speaker 1: best friends, we are we're super good together. Let's not

425
00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:05,399
Speaker 1: funk this up over sex. Let's go learn how to

426
00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:09,520
Speaker 1: have sex. You learn everything that, so let's go learn

427
00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:12,560
Speaker 1: how to do it. So we ended up going to

428
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:15,840
Speaker 1: because we live in the Bay Area of California, and

429
00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:18,400
Speaker 1: so we live in kind of the nexus of her

430
00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:22,679
Speaker 1: human potential and sexuality. And so we started enrolling in

431
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:26,080
Speaker 1: sex workshops and we learned how to get how to

432
00:26:26,119 --> 00:26:30,359
Speaker 1: have female ejaculatory orgasms. We we did seven levels of

433
00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:33,840
Speaker 1: the Human Awareness Institute of Sex, Love and Intimacy. We

434
00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:39,320
Speaker 1: did orgasmic meditation, we did ton Trick workshops, and we

435
00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:43,520
Speaker 1: just started feeling more comfortable about our sexuality. I had

436
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:46,800
Speaker 1: never even looked at my cranky little Yoni before I

437
00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:49,440
Speaker 1: was forty two. I mean, I took competing now and then,

438
00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:52,120
Speaker 1: but I was all like, I don't know, it's god

439
00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:57,479
Speaker 1: weird now there. Now it's like she's a magnificent creature. Behold.

440
00:26:57,800 --> 00:26:59,960
Speaker 1: And I love everything about my Yoni. And I love

441
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:02,680
Speaker 1: how beautiful she is and all the changes she goes through.

442
00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:05,919
Speaker 1: And I just and and she's more juicy and alive

443
00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:10,280
Speaker 1: and activated. And I'm sixty years old then she's ever been.

444
00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:14,080
Speaker 1: And so what I've realized. What we realized was that

445
00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:17,879
Speaker 1: we quickly got very good in bed. I started having orgasms,

446
00:27:17,880 --> 00:27:19,840
Speaker 1: and then I was like, what other kinds of organisms?

447
00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:24,640
Speaker 1: You know? And that's what healed our relationship was just

448
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:28,400
Speaker 1: learning how to have great sex together. And we had

449
00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:32,359
Speaker 1: such good sex, and we learned it so quickly that

450
00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:35,480
Speaker 1: we were like, what the what? We need to put

451
00:27:35,520 --> 00:27:38,680
Speaker 1: this stuff on the inner webs so anyone anywhere in

452
00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:42,240
Speaker 1: the world who's a sexual seeker can come and download

453
00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:46,240
Speaker 1: the programs and learn from home, because very few people

454
00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:49,359
Speaker 1: are going to go to northern California and get naked

455
00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:52,639
Speaker 1: and go to a sex workshop for thousands of dollars.

456
00:27:52,720 --> 00:27:55,600
Speaker 1: I mean, we spent thirty grand in our sexual education

457
00:27:55,680 --> 00:27:59,200
Speaker 1: is going to everything Walking on Fire with Tony Robbins

458
00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:02,400
Speaker 1: and you know, like everything. It was a massive time

459
00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:05,800
Speaker 1: of massive personal growth for us. And your sexual growth

460
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:08,040
Speaker 1: is this the other side of the same coin as

461
00:28:08,080 --> 00:28:12,040
Speaker 1: your personal growth? If your personal growth mindset person, you're like, well,

462
00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:14,720
Speaker 1: I should learn something about sex to that. And I

463
00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:17,159
Speaker 1: mean this all this entrepreneurial stuff I'm doing in the

464
00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:19,280
Speaker 1: morning with my meditation at my ice bath and all

465
00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:21,280
Speaker 1: this stuff, Mammy and I should learn how to stroke

466
00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:25,320
Speaker 1: a pussy there's a good idea, right, or how to

467
00:28:25,359 --> 00:28:30,600
Speaker 1: stroke a cock. So that's what we did. We started

468
00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:32,800
Speaker 1: a business together because we had such a renaissance of

469
00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:36,480
Speaker 1: our relationship. I love that it's tied because I mean,

470
00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:39,080
Speaker 1: I think there's a lot of people in our culture,

471
00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:40,800
Speaker 1: and I know probably a lot of people listening to

472
00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:44,040
Speaker 1: this podcast that can get, you know, kind of uncomfortable

473
00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:47,160
Speaker 1: with these topics. And I'm actually coming into the phase

474
00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:50,760
Speaker 1: like what you just described of where I'm I'm curious

475
00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:54,120
Speaker 1: and I'm like open and just wanting to learn more

476
00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:57,480
Speaker 1: and not feel shame around sex or my body or

477
00:28:57,520 --> 00:29:00,880
Speaker 1: anything like that. And I'm a person and who truly

478
00:29:00,920 --> 00:29:03,320
Speaker 1: desires deep connection and so for me, it's not like

479
00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:05,000
Speaker 1: I want to go out and just have sex with

480
00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:06,920
Speaker 1: a bunch of random people, like I would like to

481
00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:09,520
Speaker 1: be exploring this with a partner like what you're describing,

482
00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:13,040
Speaker 1: And so I want to make sure that people understand

483
00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:16,360
Speaker 1: I guess, like that whole piece of it, because it's like,

484
00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:18,200
Speaker 1: do you bump up against a lot of people just

485
00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:22,640
Speaker 1: being scared of the topic of sex. Oh? Yeah. Our

486
00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:29,000
Speaker 1: our culture is so religiously repressed, societally repressed, slut shamed

487
00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:33,200
Speaker 1: ti lb t q uh. You know, like we are.

488
00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:37,080
Speaker 1: We're basically screwing up everything about our sexuality and our culture.

489
00:29:37,480 --> 00:29:40,320
Speaker 1: Thank god, there's some of us who are actually willing

490
00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:43,440
Speaker 1: to get together and talk about it and even do it.

491
00:29:47,080 --> 00:29:49,120
Speaker 1: So what I what I realized early on. I mean,

492
00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:50,640
Speaker 1: it's so funny. People said to me, Oh, you're in

493
00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:52,520
Speaker 1: the sex business, will sex cells. You're just gonna be

494
00:29:52,560 --> 00:29:54,720
Speaker 1: You're gonna be a trainer because everybody loves sex. And

495
00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:57,240
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, contrary, if you put a hundred people

496
00:29:57,280 --> 00:30:00,880
Speaker 1: in the room, maybe five or ten of them would

497
00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:06,720
Speaker 1: be even willing to learn how to make love. So

498
00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:11,880
Speaker 1: it's just what I do is I'm like, hey, if

499
00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:14,000
Speaker 1: I appeal to you, if you like the way I mean,

500
00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:17,360
Speaker 1: the people who like Susan Bratton are the people who

501
00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:19,120
Speaker 1: are like I like you because you just straight talk.

502
00:30:19,160 --> 00:30:20,720
Speaker 1: I like you because you get it out. I like it.

503
00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:22,480
Speaker 1: Could you give me steps? I like it because you

504
00:30:22,520 --> 00:30:26,000
Speaker 1: give me hope. And That's what I've really learned over

505
00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:30,280
Speaker 1: the last nearly twenty years is that my job is

506
00:30:30,320 --> 00:30:34,360
Speaker 1: to inspire you, to inform and educate you, and to

507
00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:37,000
Speaker 1: cheer you on and to let you know that it

508
00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:40,520
Speaker 1: is possible. That's why I'm not a coach or a therapist.

509
00:30:40,560 --> 00:30:44,400
Speaker 1: What I am as somebody who teaches you techniques that

510
00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:51,360
Speaker 1: are gonna work. And once one works, and then you're like, oh,

511
00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:54,040
Speaker 1: she taught me something. I did it. It was fantastic.

512
00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:56,320
Speaker 1: What else does she have? And then they're like, oh wow,

513
00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:59,440
Speaker 1: I've got a lifetime of learning ahead of me. Oh

514
00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:03,440
Speaker 1: this is gonna be fun. Because even me right now today,

515
00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:07,520
Speaker 1: after twenty years of doing it, trying it everything, I'm

516
00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:10,880
Speaker 1: I still have things on my list that I want

517
00:31:10,880 --> 00:31:13,880
Speaker 1: to try that i'm doing that are new. Because what

518
00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:16,080
Speaker 1: you wanted your twenties is different than your thirties. For

519
00:31:17,320 --> 00:31:21,440
Speaker 1: as you mature as your sexual As you go through

520
00:31:21,480 --> 00:31:27,120
Speaker 1: your sexual maturation, your desires change, what turns you on

521
00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:33,120
Speaker 1: change is like twenty years ago, I thought wearing lingerie

522
00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:36,920
Speaker 1: was like a disrespectful thing for women. Why should I

523
00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:39,840
Speaker 1: have to put on lingerie? And now I'm like, get

524
00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:41,840
Speaker 1: me some stripper shoes, daddy, I'm all put them all.

525
00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:47,800
Speaker 1: And banking I was like spanking, It just seems so violent.

526
00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:49,440
Speaker 1: I don't know why anyone would want to do it.

527
00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:52,560
Speaker 1: I would never want to be spanked for Valentine's Day.

528
00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:55,479
Speaker 1: I wanted us spanking for my present, Like I just

529
00:31:55,600 --> 00:32:00,360
Speaker 1: want to you know, all this stuff that's available to us.

530
00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:03,400
Speaker 1: It starts we were like, oh, I'm into that. Oh no,

531
00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:05,600
Speaker 1: I'm into this. Oh no, that looks interesting. It's like,

532
00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:07,880
Speaker 1: you can be a kid in the Sexual Candy Story

533
00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:11,200
Speaker 1: your whole life, and you can have great sex till

534
00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:14,880
Speaker 1: the day you die. We're born sexual, and we die

535
00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:19,240
Speaker 1: sexual if we allow ourselves the pleasure. Yeah, I feel

536
00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:21,360
Speaker 1: like so many people are just scared of sex. Like

537
00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:27,040
Speaker 1: Chip and I do one podcast each month dedicated to sex, dating, relationships,

538
00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:29,520
Speaker 1: or any any topics that fall under a kind of

539
00:32:29,560 --> 00:32:32,800
Speaker 1: those categories. And the last one we did, a lot

540
00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:36,000
Speaker 1: of the questions we got were from people in marriages

541
00:32:36,560 --> 00:32:39,239
Speaker 1: who hadn't had sex in years or you know, and

542
00:32:39,280 --> 00:32:42,480
Speaker 1: those were the kind of questions. But the main underlying

543
00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:44,920
Speaker 1: thing that I realized was like they were not able

544
00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:48,320
Speaker 1: to actually talk to their partner about any of these issues,

545
00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:50,760
Speaker 1: and they're like coming to us to be like, hey,

546
00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:54,280
Speaker 1: what do we do about this? You know? And it's like, wait,

547
00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:56,840
Speaker 1: if you're not talking to your partner, why are you

548
00:32:56,840 --> 00:32:59,800
Speaker 1: talking to us about it? Like? How important is communication?

549
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:04,920
Speaker 1: And all of this stuff. It's the foundation. Your sexuality

550
00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:09,480
Speaker 1: is a three legged stool. The first leg is the

551
00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:11,680
Speaker 1: sex techniques and the skills and the knowledge and the

552
00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:17,040
Speaker 1: awareness of what is possible. The second leg is the

553
00:33:17,040 --> 00:33:19,640
Speaker 1: communication skills, not only how to ask for what you

554
00:33:19,680 --> 00:33:23,120
Speaker 1: want confidently, but to know that your partner is not

555
00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:25,200
Speaker 1: going to take it as criticism and it's going to

556
00:33:25,280 --> 00:33:30,600
Speaker 1: take it as valuable feedback, pearls of momentary wisdom to

557
00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:34,200
Speaker 1: pleasure you better. And then the third leg of the

558
00:33:34,200 --> 00:33:37,560
Speaker 1: stool is actually your sexual health, and that runs everything

559
00:33:37,680 --> 00:33:42,680
Speaker 1: from STDs to you know, U t e s and

560
00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:48,719
Speaker 1: bladder infections and prostrate problems and directile dysfunction and painful

561
00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:52,160
Speaker 1: sex and all of the things that can happen to

562
00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:56,120
Speaker 1: our sexual plumbing systems. Because for a lot of people,

563
00:33:56,400 --> 00:33:58,560
Speaker 1: one of the programs that one of the free gifts

564
00:33:58,560 --> 00:34:00,200
Speaker 1: I give away, I give away a lot of three

565
00:34:00,280 --> 00:34:04,000
Speaker 1: things UM again to earn people's trust and to meet

566
00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:07,320
Speaker 1: them where they are. UM. One of the things that

567
00:34:07,360 --> 00:34:10,720
Speaker 1: I give away is a technique called the Magic Pill method,

568
00:34:11,400 --> 00:34:15,400
Speaker 1: because what I found is that when people stop having sex,

569
00:34:15,680 --> 00:34:19,920
Speaker 1: they hit a roadblock and they didn't know how to

570
00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:23,279
Speaker 1: solve it. And so because they couldn't have and it's

571
00:34:23,360 --> 00:34:27,279
Speaker 1: usually penetration for whatever reason. I can't have penetration. I

572
00:34:27,640 --> 00:34:30,160
Speaker 1: got long haul COVID, I've got cancer, I've got e

573
00:34:30,280 --> 00:34:34,879
Speaker 1: D I've got a million things. Um. The one thing

574
00:34:35,160 --> 00:34:39,680
Speaker 1: that people stop having sex about that requires a therapist

575
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:44,080
Speaker 1: is betrayal. That's about twenty of the time when people

576
00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:47,520
Speaker 1: stop having sex, it's because one person betrayed the other.

577
00:34:47,800 --> 00:34:51,800
Speaker 1: And there there's about of people. It's always the twenty

578
00:34:51,920 --> 00:34:56,560
Speaker 1: Parado principle. Um. There's about of people that just cannot

579
00:34:57,080 --> 00:35:00,160
Speaker 1: let go of things, they can't get over it. And

580
00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:03,279
Speaker 1: there are that can work through betrayal and go on

581
00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:08,000
Speaker 1: to have good relationships again, but needs some serious support

582
00:35:08,480 --> 00:35:11,160
Speaker 1: and getting over. But then there's a whole other people

583
00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:15,920
Speaker 1: who are its health, emotional, physical issues. That often people

584
00:35:16,239 --> 00:35:19,160
Speaker 1: think that Okay, I can't have sex anymore because they're

585
00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:22,439
Speaker 1: thinking sexist penetration, or they don't know how to fix

586
00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:25,879
Speaker 1: the problem that they have when there's so many solutions

587
00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:30,080
Speaker 1: to genital pain and issues and dysfunctions and all of

588
00:35:30,120 --> 00:35:33,680
Speaker 1: those things, so many ways to fix it. Gains wave treatments,

589
00:35:33,719 --> 00:35:38,160
Speaker 1: penis pumps, the Phoenix Black, the v Fit Gold, PRP,

590
00:35:38,360 --> 00:35:41,600
Speaker 1: the P shot, the O shot, the CEO, two lasers,

591
00:35:41,680 --> 00:35:45,560
Speaker 1: the RF devices. Um. I mean, there's just so many

592
00:35:45,600 --> 00:35:49,080
Speaker 1: things that are very easy fixes for sexual issues, and

593
00:35:49,120 --> 00:35:53,200
Speaker 1: so when they hit this obstacle, it's like they just

594
00:35:53,239 --> 00:35:56,680
Speaker 1: stop having sex, they stop touching each other, they become platonic,

595
00:35:57,080 --> 00:36:00,879
Speaker 1: and then he emotionally checks out, she emotionally checks out.

596
00:36:00,880 --> 00:36:04,080
Speaker 1: They've lost their intimacy. It's not as fun for them anymore.

597
00:36:04,320 --> 00:36:08,360
Speaker 1: And ultimately they either have a marriage where it's seated

598
00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:12,520
Speaker 1: in deep frustration and anger and resentment and rejection by

599
00:36:12,560 --> 00:36:16,880
Speaker 1: one person, with the other person basically just stone cold,

600
00:36:16,920 --> 00:36:20,359
Speaker 1: emotionally checked out, not even caring about what the other

601
00:36:20,400 --> 00:36:24,640
Speaker 1: partner's going through from this loss of intimacy. So the

602
00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:29,280
Speaker 1: Magic Pill method is a three step structure for communicating

603
00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:32,480
Speaker 1: what you used to do that you miss, what you

604
00:36:32,520 --> 00:36:36,920
Speaker 1: could still do even with your problems, and how to

605
00:36:37,080 --> 00:36:39,480
Speaker 1: fix some of the problems that you have so you

606
00:36:39,520 --> 00:36:42,399
Speaker 1: can go back to work in the whole list rather

607
00:36:42,440 --> 00:36:45,200
Speaker 1: than part of the list. People forget to compromise and

608
00:36:45,200 --> 00:36:48,719
Speaker 1: work around and solve and fix things, they just throw

609
00:36:48,760 --> 00:36:50,719
Speaker 1: up their hands and give up because they can't talk

610
00:36:50,719 --> 00:36:55,200
Speaker 1: about it. So I created the structure for safe conversation

611
00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:59,799
Speaker 1: so couples could work through it themselves. Things can be

612
00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:04,360
Speaker 1: alve without a therapist, but the therapists are fantastic for

613
00:37:04,400 --> 00:37:09,000
Speaker 1: those times when you just need some guidance. Yeah, it's

614
00:37:09,040 --> 00:37:11,920
Speaker 1: so funny because yesterday when we were recording that, I

615
00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:13,560
Speaker 1: literally said to Chip, I mean, the only thing I

616
00:37:13,640 --> 00:37:15,239
Speaker 1: know how to say is like, go get a third

617
00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:18,920
Speaker 1: party involved. And sometimes maybe a therapist does seem a

618
00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:21,400
Speaker 1: little extreme or intimidating to people, And so there is

619
00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:25,200
Speaker 1: an interesting idea here of like maybe it's something that

620
00:37:25,239 --> 00:37:28,440
Speaker 1: you can break down into these little steps or even

621
00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:31,960
Speaker 1: just start having the conversations to see where the big

622
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:34,640
Speaker 1: issue is because they're just has to be some sort

623
00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:39,200
Speaker 1: of communication. And you can download ship. I was just

624
00:37:39,239 --> 00:37:43,160
Speaker 1: gonna say, you can download that at magic pill method

625
00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:47,560
Speaker 1: dot com. Agree, Yeah, go check that off. What I

626
00:37:47,640 --> 00:37:49,600
Speaker 1: was going to say is, you know, you mentioned that

627
00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:51,840
Speaker 1: there's a lot of shame around sex just because of

628
00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:54,960
Speaker 1: you know, our sort of Quaker waves in the US.

629
00:37:55,040 --> 00:37:58,879
Speaker 1: But I mean, it's it's also true, or at least

630
00:37:58,880 --> 00:38:02,200
Speaker 1: it appears to me to be true that um people

631
00:38:02,280 --> 00:38:04,839
Speaker 1: who have a lot of sex are really good at

632
00:38:04,840 --> 00:38:07,560
Speaker 1: sex or put out that energy or there's like they're

633
00:38:07,560 --> 00:38:09,759
Speaker 1: put on a bit of a pedestal. And so I

634
00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:13,000
Speaker 1: would imagine that when there is a problem with sex

635
00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:15,719
Speaker 1: or it starts to die off, there's there's a there's

636
00:38:15,760 --> 00:38:20,160
Speaker 1: a shame around that too. So how do people get

637
00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:22,959
Speaker 1: over that? I mean, it's it's so interesting because Kelly

638
00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:25,080
Speaker 1: and I we get these questions all the time, and

639
00:38:25,239 --> 00:38:28,000
Speaker 1: obviously we don't know the intimate details of what's happening

640
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:30,360
Speaker 1: in their lives. They're just like, we stopped having sex

641
00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:32,520
Speaker 1: eight months ago, and it's like, well, are you talking

642
00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:36,719
Speaker 1: about it? Like it seems like the most obvious responses

643
00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:38,840
Speaker 1: to be like, well, talk about it and then you

644
00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:41,239
Speaker 1: can figure it out. But like, how you get over

645
00:38:41,280 --> 00:38:45,520
Speaker 1: that shame hump? Well, the only way you can do

646
00:38:45,600 --> 00:38:48,960
Speaker 1: it is to get really clear about what it is

647
00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:51,400
Speaker 1: that you want, what it is that you can do,

648
00:38:51,760 --> 00:38:53,680
Speaker 1: and what it is that you miss. And that's what

649
00:38:53,719 --> 00:38:55,960
Speaker 1: the Magic Pill method does, is it helps you clarify

650
00:38:56,040 --> 00:38:59,600
Speaker 1: your thoughts because generally, when you're upset about something, your

651
00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:02,880
Speaker 1: emotionally flooded and it's very difficult to even think clearly.

652
00:39:03,360 --> 00:39:04,960
Speaker 1: So you can know that you have a problem, but

653
00:39:05,040 --> 00:39:07,920
Speaker 1: not know what you want. As a solution, like, okay,

654
00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:11,840
Speaker 1: you're piste off, what do you want? You know, I

655
00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:15,560
Speaker 1: don't know. I just know what I'm getting, isn't it right?

656
00:39:15,840 --> 00:39:19,759
Speaker 1: That's very common, super super common is I don't know

657
00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:22,560
Speaker 1: what I want, so I don't ask for anything because

658
00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:25,880
Speaker 1: I just what am I going to say? The actual

659
00:39:25,920 --> 00:39:29,839
Speaker 1: fact is that you know what you want and you

660
00:39:29,920 --> 00:39:33,200
Speaker 1: understand that your body is wise, and you can listen

661
00:39:33,239 --> 00:39:36,080
Speaker 1: to her or him as well. You can listen to

662
00:39:36,520 --> 00:39:40,400
Speaker 1: or they. You can listen to your intuitive, the intuitive

663
00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:44,000
Speaker 1: conversation of what your body is telling you it needs.

664
00:39:44,640 --> 00:39:48,000
Speaker 1: I need to be held, I need to be finger fucked,

665
00:39:48,120 --> 00:39:53,319
Speaker 1: whatever it is. And you know you want things, and

666
00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:56,040
Speaker 1: so once you can get clear about what they are,

667
00:39:57,239 --> 00:40:01,120
Speaker 1: then you can find the courage to share that with

668
00:40:01,160 --> 00:40:04,160
Speaker 1: your partner. And if you can't find the courage, then

669
00:40:04,200 --> 00:40:07,200
Speaker 1: you do need to have some support. And my favorite

670
00:40:07,200 --> 00:40:12,680
Speaker 1: place to send people for sexuality therapy is the American

671
00:40:12,800 --> 00:40:17,400
Speaker 1: Association of Sexuality Educators and Therapists. It's a sect a

672
00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:21,680
Speaker 1: A s e c T dot org and they have

673
00:40:21,760 --> 00:40:24,040
Speaker 1: a directory so you can find someone in your area

674
00:40:24,200 --> 00:40:26,120
Speaker 1: or just someone that you like who you could have

675
00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:31,400
Speaker 1: zoom calls with who can help guide you through releasing

676
00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:35,720
Speaker 1: your shame and asking for what you want and helping

677
00:40:35,760 --> 00:40:41,319
Speaker 1: you find your way to that. I love. When we

678
00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:44,560
Speaker 1: first started talking, you mentioned something about how to know

679
00:40:44,600 --> 00:40:46,160
Speaker 1: what you want in bed and how to ask for

680
00:40:46,239 --> 00:40:49,120
Speaker 1: it with confidence. And I think, especially as a woman,

681
00:40:49,880 --> 00:40:51,279
Speaker 1: I mean, and I don't know, I mean, it's kind

682
00:40:51,280 --> 00:40:53,239
Speaker 1: of interesting, like I'm thinking about this stuff and I

683
00:40:53,239 --> 00:40:54,960
Speaker 1: guess that I'm about to be forty. You kind of

684
00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:57,960
Speaker 1: mentioned really getting to this discovery place with yourself at forties.

685
00:40:57,960 --> 00:40:59,480
Speaker 1: I don't know if there's something around that age group

686
00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:02,719
Speaker 1: for women, it that that is something, Well tell me

687
00:41:02,719 --> 00:41:05,080
Speaker 1: about that. That's the first thing, and then there is

688
00:41:05,160 --> 00:41:09,120
Speaker 1: just something that I know for me personally, it has

689
00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:11,799
Speaker 1: been a harder thing to be like I need more

690
00:41:11,840 --> 00:41:14,640
Speaker 1: of this, or I like to communicate those things, or

691
00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:18,359
Speaker 1: to even be aware like you're talking about like what

692
00:41:18,480 --> 00:41:21,440
Speaker 1: I want, because I'm so concerned usually with like my

693
00:41:21,560 --> 00:41:25,480
Speaker 1: partner enjoying it, that I haven't even been able to

694
00:41:25,480 --> 00:41:27,960
Speaker 1: think about that that's gotten better with age. But I

695
00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:30,799
Speaker 1: think that that's a very common thing amongst women. So

696
00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:33,719
Speaker 1: one talk me through this age thing is that is

697
00:41:33,719 --> 00:41:35,960
Speaker 1: that something at around the age of forty for women,

698
00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:40,040
Speaker 1: and then two would be how do we know what

699
00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:43,440
Speaker 1: we want and then ask for it? Um? Yeah, I

700
00:41:43,800 --> 00:41:46,239
Speaker 1: want to I'll give you both of those answers. And

701
00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:50,120
Speaker 1: at first I wanted to ask Chip, how you do

702
00:41:50,760 --> 00:41:54,520
Speaker 1: um asking for what you want? Um? You am I

703
00:41:54,600 --> 00:41:56,319
Speaker 1: good at it? Is that what you're asking? Or do

704
00:41:56,360 --> 00:41:57,920
Speaker 1: you feel like you are able to ask for what

705
00:41:57,960 --> 00:41:59,600
Speaker 1: you want? I know, I know. I don't think I'm

706
00:41:59,680 --> 00:42:03,399
Speaker 1: very good at it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't think

707
00:42:03,400 --> 00:42:06,400
Speaker 1: it's a women's issue. I think it's it's a people people,

708
00:42:07,080 --> 00:42:08,880
Speaker 1: and I think we're all in this together, and this

709
00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:13,160
Speaker 1: allows us to bring our vulnerable hearts and realize that

710
00:42:13,800 --> 00:42:16,200
Speaker 1: none of us feel comfortable asking for what we want,

711
00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:18,399
Speaker 1: and none of us are quite getting everything we want,

712
00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:20,280
Speaker 1: and none of us are quite sure what we want.

713
00:42:20,680 --> 00:42:22,520
Speaker 1: One of the favorite things that people love about me

714
00:42:22,560 --> 00:42:24,440
Speaker 1: the most. I know that sounds so conceited, but I

715
00:42:24,480 --> 00:42:28,480
Speaker 1: don't care. I actually love that about you that you

716
00:42:28,560 --> 00:42:30,960
Speaker 1: just said that, So there you go. One of the

717
00:42:30,960 --> 00:42:32,480
Speaker 1: things that people love about me the most is that

718
00:42:32,520 --> 00:42:36,080
Speaker 1: I give I'm like a source of fun, I'm a

719
00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:38,640
Speaker 1: source of fun ideas because one of the things that

720
00:42:38,680 --> 00:42:41,600
Speaker 1: I found is that what people really want is ideas

721
00:42:41,680 --> 00:42:45,000
Speaker 1: for having more fun and pleasure together erotic I call

722
00:42:45,040 --> 00:42:48,040
Speaker 1: them erotic play dates. UM. One of the things, it's

723
00:42:48,080 --> 00:42:49,399
Speaker 1: funny I do. I have it right here at home.

724
00:42:49,480 --> 00:42:51,160
Speaker 1: I think we moved it out of the background. But

725
00:42:51,200 --> 00:42:54,640
Speaker 1: I have this new UM, this new thing I'm working

726
00:42:54,680 --> 00:42:58,320
Speaker 1: on that's called a sexual self assessment that you take

727
00:42:58,400 --> 00:43:01,840
Speaker 1: this quiz if you will each make this questionnaire and

728
00:43:02,280 --> 00:43:04,319
Speaker 1: it asks you, you know, have you ever done any

729
00:43:04,520 --> 00:43:05,840
Speaker 1: have you done this? Have you done this? Have you

730
00:43:05,880 --> 00:43:07,560
Speaker 1: done would you be willing to do this? Would you

731
00:43:07,600 --> 00:43:08,880
Speaker 1: be willing to do this? Would be willing to this?

732
00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:11,239
Speaker 1: Would be willing to do And then it gives you

733
00:43:11,360 --> 00:43:13,879
Speaker 1: this list of all of the things that you would

734
00:43:13,880 --> 00:43:17,839
Speaker 1: be interested in doing sexually, and then it has you

735
00:43:18,120 --> 00:43:21,600
Speaker 1: labeled them ABC. A is it's definitely going on my

736
00:43:21,640 --> 00:43:24,799
Speaker 1: sexual bucket list. B is I'd be open to doing it. Is.

737
00:43:24,800 --> 00:43:26,319
Speaker 1: I'm not called to do it right now. It's not

738
00:43:26,360 --> 00:43:28,360
Speaker 1: on my bucket list. But if my partner wanted me

739
00:43:28,440 --> 00:43:30,440
Speaker 1: to do it with them, I would for sure says

740
00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:32,160
Speaker 1: do it with them and give them that as a gift.

741
00:43:32,160 --> 00:43:34,160
Speaker 1: That sounds good. And my c is, this is not

742
00:43:34,239 --> 00:43:36,279
Speaker 1: for me right now, Although I would be willing to

743
00:43:36,280 --> 00:43:38,239
Speaker 1: consider it in the future, because you should always be

744
00:43:38,280 --> 00:43:40,359
Speaker 1: willing to consider everything. Should be surprised. I think where

745
00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:43,560
Speaker 1: a laundry and life gets banked. So you know, it's

746
00:43:43,800 --> 00:43:46,560
Speaker 1: we are evolving. If we're not, I mean, if we're

747
00:43:46,560 --> 00:43:49,799
Speaker 1: not evolving, what do we do and we're dying? So uh,

748
00:43:50,200 --> 00:43:53,160
Speaker 1: then you end up with rank ordering the things you

749
00:43:53,200 --> 00:43:55,480
Speaker 1: want to try most, and there's your list of things

750
00:43:55,480 --> 00:43:57,880
Speaker 1: to work on with yourself or your partner's super fun.

751
00:43:58,560 --> 00:44:03,200
Speaker 1: So when you're twenty, everything is new. It's the blind

752
00:44:03,280 --> 00:44:05,520
Speaker 1: leading the blind. You don't know what you're doing. It's

753
00:44:05,520 --> 00:44:09,759
Speaker 1: all pretty good. You want some more. You probably don't

754
00:44:09,760 --> 00:44:12,960
Speaker 1: have as much as you want, but you know you're discovering.

755
00:44:13,120 --> 00:44:17,080
Speaker 1: You're having experience. In your thirties, you're focusing on your career.

756
00:44:17,320 --> 00:44:19,640
Speaker 1: Maybe you're having a family. You're kind of build your

757
00:44:19,719 --> 00:44:22,760
Speaker 1: your building time. By the time you hit your fourties,

758
00:44:22,800 --> 00:44:24,960
Speaker 1: you've got a little bit of a base and you're

759
00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:28,280
Speaker 1: beginning to look at your mortality. You see it coming

760
00:44:28,320 --> 00:44:33,120
Speaker 1: in the distance. You see you know Andrew pause, menopause. Uh,

761
00:44:33,280 --> 00:44:35,080
Speaker 1: you see your You start to look at your parents

762
00:44:35,200 --> 00:44:40,839
Speaker 1: looking old and you're like, oh, sheet it's now or never.

763
00:44:40,920 --> 00:44:42,279
Speaker 1: By the time you get to your fifties, you're like,

764
00:44:42,760 --> 00:44:45,720
Speaker 1: it's not now or never, but maybe I can push

765
00:44:45,719 --> 00:44:48,399
Speaker 1: off dying, but I still need to have great sex.

766
00:44:48,440 --> 00:44:50,640
Speaker 1: And this is when people start getting rid of the partner.

767
00:44:50,680 --> 00:44:53,279
Speaker 1: This isn't satisfying them. They go back out into the

768
00:44:53,360 --> 00:44:57,560
Speaker 1: dating world. In this time frame a lot and uh,

769
00:44:57,600 --> 00:45:00,480
Speaker 1: you know, they're starting over and the there's a lot

770
00:45:00,480 --> 00:45:02,640
Speaker 1: of fear, but there's a lot of desire. By the

771
00:45:02,680 --> 00:45:08,080
Speaker 1: time people get to their sixties, they're usually quite proficient

772
00:45:08,160 --> 00:45:11,360
Speaker 1: in bed. If they've kept up with their sexuality, They're

773
00:45:11,360 --> 00:45:14,200
Speaker 1: starting to be more relaxed, more vulnerable. They're starting to

774
00:45:14,239 --> 00:45:16,520
Speaker 1: realize that they don't have to have body image issues.

775
00:45:16,520 --> 00:45:19,240
Speaker 1: They don't need to be perfect. That's it's an impossible task,

776
00:45:19,360 --> 00:45:22,319
Speaker 1: so let it go. I'll just be who I am.

777
00:45:22,360 --> 00:45:25,360
Speaker 1: And if you love me for that, thank you so much.

778
00:45:25,400 --> 00:45:27,719
Speaker 1: I love you back, you know. And then by the

779
00:45:27,760 --> 00:45:30,320
Speaker 1: time your seventies, if you've kept yourself in good health,

780
00:45:30,760 --> 00:45:33,600
Speaker 1: you're having some good sex with your partner. By the

781
00:45:33,640 --> 00:45:36,240
Speaker 1: time you're in your eighties, you're like, look a grandma

782
00:45:36,239 --> 00:45:44,280
Speaker 1: and grandpa, Yes, so you have this arc. So for

783
00:45:44,360 --> 00:45:47,399
Speaker 1: your forties, you are starting to realize that you don't

784
00:45:47,400 --> 00:45:49,360
Speaker 1: know what you don't know. You didn't get all the

785
00:45:49,360 --> 00:45:52,760
Speaker 1: satisfaction you wanted. You'd like to have some more experiences.

786
00:45:53,080 --> 00:45:55,759
Speaker 1: You want them to be on your terms. And you're

787
00:45:55,800 --> 00:45:59,319
Speaker 1: looking for partners or a partner. It can be any

788
00:45:59,400 --> 00:46:02,200
Speaker 1: number you may. You want to get more experiences with

789
00:46:02,239 --> 00:46:05,320
Speaker 1: more people. Maybe you don't and you just want one partner.

790
00:46:05,360 --> 00:46:07,480
Speaker 1: Maybe you want research partner. You know, I don't know.

791
00:46:07,520 --> 00:46:11,000
Speaker 1: Maybe this is where you're you know, doing a new

792
00:46:11,040 --> 00:46:13,800
Speaker 1: gender expression or whatever it might be. You know, no,

793
00:46:13,920 --> 00:46:15,200
Speaker 1: I want to do Polly. I want to date a

794
00:46:15,200 --> 00:46:17,279
Speaker 1: bunch of people. You know, you're you're more experimental because

795
00:46:17,280 --> 00:46:21,640
Speaker 1: you're a little bit more confident yourself and your ability

796
00:46:21,680 --> 00:46:25,120
Speaker 1: to deal with whatever happens. You know in your heart

797
00:46:25,120 --> 00:46:27,880
Speaker 1: that I'll be fine even if it gets all screwed up.

798
00:46:28,040 --> 00:46:30,279
Speaker 1: I'll be able to manage through it. You've got that

799
00:46:30,400 --> 00:46:33,920
Speaker 1: that sense of yourself. And in your thirties also you're

800
00:46:33,960 --> 00:46:37,440
Speaker 1: super judging. You're really judging. It's a it's a it's

801
00:46:37,440 --> 00:46:45,520
Speaker 1: a time of individuation that makes you very judgmental. By

802
00:46:45,560 --> 00:46:48,000
Speaker 1: the time you get your forties, that wanes a little bit.

803
00:46:48,040 --> 00:46:52,440
Speaker 1: You like people better. It's crazy the tricks are hormones

804
00:46:52,480 --> 00:46:55,800
Speaker 1: play on us or so that's that's the story is

805
00:46:55,840 --> 00:46:57,319
Speaker 1: by the time you get to forty, you're like, oh,

806
00:46:57,320 --> 00:47:02,759
Speaker 1: they're not so bad, you know, else everything to be perfect. Yeah,

807
00:47:02,760 --> 00:47:05,279
Speaker 1: I was just thinking too, there's a and I don't

808
00:47:05,280 --> 00:47:07,600
Speaker 1: know if this is like a societal thing or the

809
00:47:07,640 --> 00:47:09,879
Speaker 1: age thing, like I said, but there's a huge part

810
00:47:09,920 --> 00:47:12,680
Speaker 1: of me right now and this is just now happening

811
00:47:12,680 --> 00:47:15,520
Speaker 1: to me and I'm almost forty. But that's like, Hey,

812
00:47:15,719 --> 00:47:18,200
Speaker 1: there's these parts of my body that were made for pleasure,

813
00:47:18,760 --> 00:47:21,399
Speaker 1: and why have I been not like like I think

814
00:47:21,400 --> 00:47:23,960
Speaker 1: i've almost Maybe it's carried shame or maybe you know,

815
00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:25,799
Speaker 1: we grew up in the South and it's just like

816
00:47:26,200 --> 00:47:28,279
Speaker 1: a woman doesn't act a certain way, and there's all

817
00:47:28,280 --> 00:47:31,279
Speaker 1: these rules around sex, and like I said, a lot

818
00:47:31,280 --> 00:47:33,280
Speaker 1: of it for me has been around pleasing my partner,

819
00:47:33,280 --> 00:47:37,000
Speaker 1: Whereas now I'm like, like really leaning into the fact

820
00:47:37,000 --> 00:47:39,239
Speaker 1: that I have these pleasure centers too, and I want

821
00:47:39,280 --> 00:47:45,320
Speaker 1: to maximize this girl. You gotta get it. I mean, okay, twice, Susan,

822
00:47:48,680 --> 00:47:54,120
Speaker 1: She's ready. Nothing. My mom was like Jesus, that's happening

823
00:47:54,239 --> 00:48:03,040
Speaker 1: right now. Celibacy is over. I really do think you

824
00:48:03,080 --> 00:48:06,399
Speaker 1: should consider having a romance in Jamaica. It's not gonna

825
00:48:06,480 --> 00:48:09,520
Speaker 1: hurt you a bit. You don't need to be intentionally celibate.

826
00:48:09,600 --> 00:48:12,920
Speaker 1: You can be intentionally finding a lover that you'll have

827
00:48:13,280 --> 00:48:16,799
Speaker 1: fond memories about for the rest of your life. And

828
00:48:16,840 --> 00:48:20,720
Speaker 1: it can be just an incredible moment or a series

829
00:48:20,760 --> 00:48:24,560
Speaker 1: of days that, um, you never forget, and they could

830
00:48:24,560 --> 00:48:26,759
Speaker 1: be a love of your life. And so why would

831
00:48:26,760 --> 00:48:32,160
Speaker 1: you be putting all these conditions on your pleasure? Why not?

832
00:48:32,280 --> 00:48:35,440
Speaker 1: Why wouldn't you be just exalting in your pleasure and

833
00:48:35,600 --> 00:48:40,799
Speaker 1: offering pleasure and receiving pleasure and practicing those things with someone. Yeah,

834
00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:45,440
Speaker 1: that's an interesting thought. I'll think about that. What is

835
00:48:45,480 --> 00:48:49,160
Speaker 1: the second part of the question? How do you ask

836
00:48:49,239 --> 00:48:50,920
Speaker 1: for what you want? Oh? Yeah? And so then how

837
00:48:50,960 --> 00:48:52,840
Speaker 1: do you ask if? I mean, if you're pushing this

838
00:48:52,920 --> 00:48:56,440
Speaker 1: Jamaica thing, I need to know a right exactly? I

839
00:48:56,480 --> 00:48:58,640
Speaker 1: know it's all me. I will take all the boy

840
00:49:00,960 --> 00:49:09,759
Speaker 1: fabulous that soaked weak in Jamaica Medora's box. But I've

841
00:49:09,800 --> 00:49:14,840
Speaker 1: not been Kelly's box. Kelly's box? Right? Wow? How do

842
00:49:14,920 --> 00:49:25,800
Speaker 1: we get here? So? How do we ask? Yes? Okay? So? Um,

843
00:49:25,840 --> 00:49:28,560
Speaker 1: one of my most popular books, and I've written more

844
00:49:28,640 --> 00:49:30,839
Speaker 1: than thirty five. I can't even keep up with them

845
00:49:30,840 --> 00:49:32,560
Speaker 1: in my bio. I don't even have the time to

846
00:49:32,640 --> 00:49:35,560
Speaker 1: count them all up. But one of them is called

847
00:49:35,600 --> 00:49:41,440
Speaker 1: sexual Soulmates the six Essentials for Connected Sex, and uh

848
00:49:41,480 --> 00:49:46,880
Speaker 1: in that one of the six essentials is the communication

849
00:49:46,960 --> 00:49:52,160
Speaker 1: technique for all communication techniques, and it's called the sexual

850
00:49:52,560 --> 00:49:56,080
Speaker 1: Soulmate Packed like an agreement, A P A c T.

851
00:49:56,680 --> 00:50:00,279
Speaker 1: I give it away for free at sexual soul mate

852
00:50:00,480 --> 00:50:03,480
Speaker 1: packed dot com. So if you like this, you can

853
00:50:03,480 --> 00:50:06,000
Speaker 1: download it, because there's more nuance than I'll be able

854
00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:09,480
Speaker 1: to get to in a podcast. But essentially, you download it,

855
00:50:09,520 --> 00:50:11,640
Speaker 1: you read it, you give it to your lover, they

856
00:50:11,680 --> 00:50:14,120
Speaker 1: read it, you have the discussion about the agreement, you

857
00:50:14,160 --> 00:50:16,319
Speaker 1: make the agreement, and you agree to try it and

858
00:50:16,440 --> 00:50:22,840
Speaker 1: practice it. And it's essentially this the we live in

859
00:50:22,840 --> 00:50:26,560
Speaker 1: a we live in a body. We are Homo sapiens.

860
00:50:26,600 --> 00:50:28,640
Speaker 1: And I've already established the fact that though one of

861
00:50:28,680 --> 00:50:30,680
Speaker 1: us has an XX chromosome and the other has an

862
00:50:30,800 --> 00:50:32,560
Speaker 1: X Y, we have all the same parts arranged in

863
00:50:32,600 --> 00:50:35,160
Speaker 1: different order. Some of us are lucky enough to have

864
00:50:35,200 --> 00:50:37,640
Speaker 1: a little bit more testosterone on a daily basis than

865
00:50:37,719 --> 00:50:41,080
Speaker 1: others of us. But we all want sex. We all

866
00:50:41,200 --> 00:50:44,480
Speaker 1: have pleasure circuits, we all have a rectile tissue. We

867
00:50:44,680 --> 00:50:48,680
Speaker 1: all want to be loved and connected with and well

868
00:50:48,960 --> 00:50:53,919
Speaker 1: fucked and well comed. That's what we want. And yet

869
00:50:54,680 --> 00:50:57,400
Speaker 1: the Homo sapien, if you look in the tree of

870
00:50:57,520 --> 00:51:01,360
Speaker 1: life with all of the animals, there's the dolphins and

871
00:51:01,400 --> 00:51:04,600
Speaker 1: the whales, and the puppies and the ponies, and the

872
00:51:04,680 --> 00:51:08,680
Speaker 1: bacterias and ladybugs and all those things. There's a branch

873
00:51:08,760 --> 00:51:13,520
Speaker 1: on that tree that's called the great Ape. There's the

874
00:51:13,600 --> 00:51:19,880
Speaker 1: banobos and the chimpanzees and the orangutans, and the Homo sapiens.

875
00:51:20,160 --> 00:51:22,400
Speaker 1: That be you and that be me. We beat a

876
00:51:22,480 --> 00:51:25,720
Speaker 1: monkeys into tree. So we live in an animal body.

877
00:51:25,760 --> 00:51:28,040
Speaker 1: We are not above the animal kingdom. We are in

878
00:51:28,120 --> 00:51:31,840
Speaker 1: the animal kingdom. We are animals. And when we are animals,

879
00:51:32,080 --> 00:51:36,720
Speaker 1: it means that our bodies are run on hormones, blood, sugar,

880
00:51:37,120 --> 00:51:41,960
Speaker 1: how much sleep we got, whether we're depressed or not, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

881
00:51:42,200 --> 00:51:45,520
Speaker 1: And that is a constantly moving target about how much

882
00:51:45,640 --> 00:51:51,120
Speaker 1: energy we have and how we feel. That impacts what

883
00:51:51,200 --> 00:51:53,600
Speaker 1: we want our sex to be like. In that date

884
00:51:53,960 --> 00:51:56,720
Speaker 1: in that date, that sex state, or in that moment,

885
00:51:56,840 --> 00:52:01,120
Speaker 1: in that sex state, you could start out feeling vulnerable,

886
00:52:01,320 --> 00:52:05,360
Speaker 1: a little bit low, a little quiet, a little introspective,

887
00:52:06,239 --> 00:52:10,880
Speaker 1: and you could be held and loved and kissed and stroked,

888
00:52:11,480 --> 00:52:15,120
Speaker 1: and then your fluids can start to run, and then

889
00:52:15,200 --> 00:52:18,200
Speaker 1: you can let go of some emotion, and then you

890
00:52:18,239 --> 00:52:21,360
Speaker 1: can connect your hearts together, and then you can start

891
00:52:21,600 --> 00:52:25,359
Speaker 1: making out, and then you can start feeling more turn on,

892
00:52:25,880 --> 00:52:28,680
Speaker 1: and then you can say, Okay, now I would like

893
00:52:28,760 --> 00:52:35,400
Speaker 1: to have my feet rubbed, my dick sucked, my back, rubbed,

894
00:52:35,680 --> 00:52:39,600
Speaker 1: my whatever. You know, you can say what your body

895
00:52:39,680 --> 00:52:43,160
Speaker 1: wants because it talks to you all the time. You

896
00:52:43,239 --> 00:52:45,719
Speaker 1: always know, oh god, I got a fart coming out.

897
00:52:45,760 --> 00:52:47,960
Speaker 1: Oh man, my right toe, I heard it so bad

898
00:52:48,000 --> 00:52:50,560
Speaker 1: the other day, stubbing it. You always are scanning your

899
00:52:50,560 --> 00:52:53,000
Speaker 1: body and knowing what's going on. So all you have

900
00:52:53,080 --> 00:52:56,400
Speaker 1: to do is understand that you and your partner are

901
00:52:56,400 --> 00:53:00,759
Speaker 1: these little animals that are constantly changing, and that all

902
00:53:00,920 --> 00:53:02,520
Speaker 1: that you need to do is feed each other the

903
00:53:02,560 --> 00:53:05,480
Speaker 1: information to know what the body is asking for and

904
00:53:05,520 --> 00:53:09,319
Speaker 1: what it wants in the moment your partner's wanting to

905
00:53:09,320 --> 00:53:12,719
Speaker 1: give you this. They just need the clues and they

906
00:53:12,719 --> 00:53:16,520
Speaker 1: can't read your mind, so you must use your mouth.

907
00:53:16,880 --> 00:53:20,040
Speaker 1: And I call it reporting in from your animal. You

908
00:53:20,120 --> 00:53:22,120
Speaker 1: live in this body. It is your job because you

909
00:53:22,160 --> 00:53:24,840
Speaker 1: have the mouth to say to your partner what the

910
00:53:24,880 --> 00:53:28,560
Speaker 1: body is asking for, and it changes constantly. Oh now

911
00:53:28,560 --> 00:53:31,040
Speaker 1: I want this, Oh now I want that, a little higher,

912
00:53:31,080 --> 00:53:34,200
Speaker 1: a little lower? Can you twingle my right nipple harder?

913
00:53:34,239 --> 00:53:37,160
Speaker 1: You know, whatever it might be. The more feedback that

914
00:53:37,320 --> 00:53:41,000
Speaker 1: you can give to your partner, the more that they

915
00:53:41,040 --> 00:53:47,120
Speaker 1: can do a great job. The masculine especially wants he

916
00:53:47,200 --> 00:53:50,680
Speaker 1: wants to win. He wants you to respect him for

917
00:53:50,760 --> 00:53:54,560
Speaker 1: the great job that he does. He needs that feedback,

918
00:53:54,840 --> 00:53:58,040
Speaker 1: but he fights you for it because the testosterone coursing

919
00:53:58,040 --> 00:54:00,520
Speaker 1: through his body makes him think he's better in bed

920
00:54:00,560 --> 00:54:07,480
Speaker 1: than he is. And the masculine culture. This is from

921
00:54:07,480 --> 00:54:12,160
Speaker 1: my friend Dr Terry Real. Terry explains that women are

922
00:54:13,360 --> 00:54:17,120
Speaker 1: tribal and they have community and they work together. Men

923
00:54:17,520 --> 00:54:20,720
Speaker 1: work in a packing order, and if you say something

924
00:54:20,760 --> 00:54:23,960
Speaker 1: to them that they con strew as criticism, which is

925
00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:27,120
Speaker 1: pretty much any feedback you give them, then they feel

926
00:54:27,160 --> 00:54:29,839
Speaker 1: like you just made them go down in the packing order,

927
00:54:30,640 --> 00:54:34,279
Speaker 1: and then they fall apart and get emotionally flooded and

928
00:54:34,320 --> 00:54:37,920
Speaker 1: they check out and their overwhelmed. And so if a

929
00:54:37,960 --> 00:54:41,719
Speaker 1: guy understands, oh, I see that's the packing order. That's

930
00:54:41,719 --> 00:54:44,560
Speaker 1: not me. I want the feedback. It's just your body.

931
00:54:44,960 --> 00:54:47,759
Speaker 1: I'm not doing anything wrong. You're actually giving me what

932
00:54:47,840 --> 00:54:50,120
Speaker 1: I need to do a great job. I get that.

933
00:54:50,520 --> 00:54:53,320
Speaker 1: And not only that, when you give me the feedback,

934
00:54:53,400 --> 00:54:58,520
Speaker 1: I'm gonna literally thank you when you thank a person,

935
00:54:58,920 --> 00:55:03,560
Speaker 1: especially the feminine, because and I'm not saying man or woman,

936
00:55:03,600 --> 00:55:08,880
Speaker 1: I'm saying the masculine, feminine now right, the feminine. The

937
00:55:08,960 --> 00:55:16,600
Speaker 1: feminine needs encouragement because the feminine has been so subjugated.

938
00:55:17,440 --> 00:55:20,759
Speaker 1: She needs you to pull her out. She needs you

939
00:55:20,800 --> 00:55:23,600
Speaker 1: to know it's oh. She needs to know it's okay

940
00:55:23,640 --> 00:55:27,359
Speaker 1: with you if she tells you things. And so when

941
00:55:27,360 --> 00:55:31,120
Speaker 1: you thank her, thank you baby, how is this you know?

942
00:55:31,840 --> 00:55:34,719
Speaker 1: That lets her know it's okay to say things to you.

943
00:55:35,880 --> 00:55:38,640
Speaker 1: And it doesn't matter where you are on the gender spectrum.

944
00:55:38,760 --> 00:55:40,839
Speaker 1: But we all need both of those things. We don't

945
00:55:40,840 --> 00:55:42,880
Speaker 1: want to do anything wrong. We want to be the winners.

946
00:55:42,960 --> 00:55:45,239
Speaker 1: We want to be respected and appreciated. We also want

947
00:55:45,239 --> 00:55:50,080
Speaker 1: to be adored and encouraged and found sexually irresistible, and

948
00:55:50,120 --> 00:55:53,000
Speaker 1: we want those things constantly and all the time during

949
00:55:53,000 --> 00:55:56,280
Speaker 1: our love making with each other. So the sexual soulmate

950
00:55:56,360 --> 00:55:59,440
Speaker 1: pact is the agreement that I'm going to listen to

951
00:55:59,480 --> 00:56:02,200
Speaker 1: my little animal tell you what he or she wants.

952
00:56:02,880 --> 00:56:05,200
Speaker 1: You're going to thank me for that and do a

953
00:56:05,239 --> 00:56:08,399
Speaker 1: course correction or we're gonna do something different or letter

954
00:56:08,520 --> 00:56:10,480
Speaker 1: or softer or up or down or whatever it is,

955
00:56:10,880 --> 00:56:13,920
Speaker 1: and thank you for telling me. Thank you for trusting

956
00:56:15,239 --> 00:56:18,399
Speaker 1: to give me what I need to know to give

957
00:56:18,480 --> 00:56:24,919
Speaker 1: you the pleasure I want to give you. I love

958
00:56:25,040 --> 00:56:29,200
Speaker 1: that thank you because I think that that really helps

959
00:56:29,239 --> 00:56:32,160
Speaker 1: it not become criticism. And also it's like I was

960
00:56:32,280 --> 00:56:34,960
Speaker 1: thinking about, like in long term relationships, it's like you

961
00:56:35,040 --> 00:56:37,160
Speaker 1: kind of learn, you know, the thing that gets the

962
00:56:37,160 --> 00:56:38,799
Speaker 1: person off or like it's like, and so then you

963
00:56:38,840 --> 00:56:41,319
Speaker 1: get stuck in these ruts of just doing that, like

964
00:56:41,560 --> 00:56:43,840
Speaker 1: let's just go back to that one move, and eventually

965
00:56:43,840 --> 00:56:46,879
Speaker 1: that gets really boring. And I like what you're saying about,

966
00:56:46,920 --> 00:56:49,759
Speaker 1: like our bodies are just different, and so especially with women,

967
00:56:49,800 --> 00:56:52,400
Speaker 1: the way our hormones where it gets like certain times

968
00:56:52,640 --> 00:56:55,279
Speaker 1: certain touch feels good and certain times other touch feels good.

969
00:56:55,280 --> 00:56:56,520
Speaker 1: And so I don't know what it feels like to

970
00:56:56,520 --> 00:56:59,520
Speaker 1: be a man, but I would imagine they're similar. Good mix,

971
00:57:00,120 --> 00:57:05,520
Speaker 1: it feels good. Yeah, yeah, But I think that that

972
00:57:05,640 --> 00:57:09,760
Speaker 1: is such a good, easy communication tip that that actually

973
00:57:09,800 --> 00:57:12,520
Speaker 1: can make it really exciting to share with your partner.

974
00:57:12,600 --> 00:57:15,840
Speaker 1: Like when you're just like, hey, this, you know, add

975
00:57:15,880 --> 00:57:19,560
Speaker 1: this to the regiment, they say thank you. Um my ups,

976
00:57:19,600 --> 00:57:24,920
Speaker 1: guy just came as I'm talking about what's happening in here. Yeah.

977
00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:28,520
Speaker 1: But I just like that because then there's no shame.

978
00:57:28,720 --> 00:57:30,919
Speaker 1: It's not like you're doing something wrong. It's just like, hey,

979
00:57:30,960 --> 00:57:36,080
Speaker 1: my body wants something different today. Yeah, I have a question. Um.

980
00:57:36,200 --> 00:57:38,680
Speaker 1: You know, Kelly and I are both single, so a

981
00:57:38,720 --> 00:57:41,520
Speaker 1: lot of what we've talked about today has sort of

982
00:57:41,560 --> 00:57:43,760
Speaker 1: been from the perspective of, like, you know, you have

983
00:57:43,840 --> 00:57:48,400
Speaker 1: a partner, so, um, how do you arrive at sexual

984
00:57:48,520 --> 00:57:51,160
Speaker 1: encounter as a single person. Maybe it is like a

985
00:57:51,240 --> 00:57:53,440
Speaker 1: weekend sling that Kelly is going to have in Jamaican.

986
00:57:54,080 --> 00:57:57,040
Speaker 1: I love that this has become a thing. Maybe it's

987
00:57:57,080 --> 00:57:59,040
Speaker 1: a one night fan. Maybe it is like the first

988
00:57:59,080 --> 00:58:02,520
Speaker 1: time you're having sex with someone that you've been dating, Like, um,

989
00:58:02,520 --> 00:58:06,240
Speaker 1: how do you arrive at those opportunities or those moments,

990
00:58:06,840 --> 00:58:10,520
Speaker 1: um and make them like not sound like a freak.

991
00:58:10,600 --> 00:58:12,640
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know a better way to like. Yeah,

992
00:58:12,880 --> 00:58:15,760
Speaker 1: if I start, if I went to have sex with

993
00:58:15,880 --> 00:58:19,720
Speaker 1: someone that had like your level of knowledge and talk

994
00:58:19,880 --> 00:58:22,320
Speaker 1: the way, I would be so freaked out. I'd be

995
00:58:22,360 --> 00:58:26,920
Speaker 1: like I am in kindergarten, you know. So how do

996
00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:30,760
Speaker 1: you break down those that comfortability, those walls? Um. I

997
00:58:30,800 --> 00:58:33,120
Speaker 1: think there's a couple of things. Number One, you can

998
00:58:33,120 --> 00:58:35,880
Speaker 1: say to them, Um, you know, we're really just it's

999
00:58:35,880 --> 00:58:39,240
Speaker 1: our first time together, so let's have low expectations and

1000
00:58:39,320 --> 00:58:44,560
Speaker 1: high laughs. Number one, you want to diffuse the energy. Um.

1001
00:58:44,720 --> 00:58:46,280
Speaker 1: The second thing you want to say is I love

1002
00:58:46,320 --> 00:58:47,920
Speaker 1: feedback and I want you to tell me anything and

1003
00:58:48,080 --> 00:58:50,960
Speaker 1: everything all the time. I am always here for you

1004
00:58:51,040 --> 00:58:53,680
Speaker 1: and your pleasure. And the more that you tell me things,

1005
00:58:53,680 --> 00:58:55,760
Speaker 1: the more I'll thank you and be happy with it.

1006
00:58:55,800 --> 00:58:57,640
Speaker 1: So don't worry about giving me any feedback at all,

1007
00:58:57,640 --> 00:58:59,320
Speaker 1: because we just don't know each other. We don't know

1008
00:58:59,480 --> 00:59:03,040
Speaker 1: what kind of which we like. We don't know anything. Um.

1009
00:59:03,080 --> 00:59:08,000
Speaker 1: The second thing is that I think slowing down is

1010
00:59:08,120 --> 00:59:10,680
Speaker 1: very important. You know, we were talking very early in

1011
00:59:10,720 --> 00:59:16,800
Speaker 1: the episode about friction versus connection and uh, if we're

1012
00:59:16,880 --> 00:59:20,280
Speaker 1: just having performative sex, I'm just going to stick my

1013
00:59:20,440 --> 00:59:24,880
Speaker 1: slot a into your tab b. Then you miss the

1014
00:59:25,000 --> 00:59:29,640
Speaker 1: joy of the connection. And I think slowing down and

1015
00:59:29,680 --> 00:59:34,240
Speaker 1: having a lot of time for talking and holding and

1016
00:59:34,400 --> 00:59:40,440
Speaker 1: stroking and connecting and exploring each other's bodies and expressing

1017
00:59:40,560 --> 00:59:43,919
Speaker 1: verbal appreciation for their attractiveness to you. I really love

1018
00:59:43,960 --> 00:59:46,800
Speaker 1: this about you. Um, I love I love your hair.

1019
00:59:46,840 --> 00:59:48,760
Speaker 1: I love the way you have it tipped blonde on

1020
00:59:48,800 --> 00:59:52,360
Speaker 1: the end. Your your face is so handsome and masculine

1021
00:59:52,440 --> 00:59:56,160
Speaker 1: and and and beautiful. And um, I love your voice.

1022
00:59:56,200 --> 00:59:58,960
Speaker 1: The sound of your voice is so nice, and um

1023
00:59:59,000 --> 01:00:01,200
Speaker 1: you just are so easy to be with and such

1024
01:00:01,240 --> 01:00:04,000
Speaker 1: a such You seem like such a kind spirit. I'm

1025
01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:07,000
Speaker 1: really enjoying just relaxing with you. I'm sorry, Susan, are

1026
01:00:07,000 --> 01:00:13,160
Speaker 1: you hitting on Chip right now? I'm so I just

1027
01:00:12,960 --> 01:00:15,400
Speaker 1: I just I was watching this happen. I just needed

1028
01:00:15,440 --> 01:00:25,240
Speaker 1: to point it out to the listeners room. Okay, I

1029
01:00:25,280 --> 01:00:29,800
Speaker 1: am a fabulous flirt. She's a pro. She just heard

1030
01:00:29,840 --> 01:00:35,640
Speaker 1: me straight. I never thought i'd see the day. Don't worry, Chip,

1031
01:00:35,680 --> 01:00:43,160
Speaker 1: I'm super switchy. Well, when you get really good at sex,

1032
01:00:43,400 --> 01:00:46,280
Speaker 1: you can run the whole spectrum, and I think that's

1033
01:00:46,320 --> 01:00:48,280
Speaker 1: another thing that you can look forward to with your

1034
01:00:48,320 --> 01:00:51,480
Speaker 1: practice for sexuality. But the tips for first time sex

1035
01:00:51,520 --> 01:00:56,560
Speaker 1: are what's off limits? What do you like to do?

1036
01:00:57,040 --> 01:00:59,560
Speaker 1: What would you like to do with me? Now? Any

1037
01:00:59,600 --> 01:01:02,040
Speaker 1: idea is, you know, throw down some offers. Um, let's

1038
01:01:02,080 --> 01:01:06,280
Speaker 1: make it a safe space. Let's let's communicate and learn

1039
01:01:06,320 --> 01:01:09,400
Speaker 1: each other and appreciate each other and co create some

1040
01:01:09,560 --> 01:01:13,840
Speaker 1: joy and you know, tell me anything, I'm good. Uh.

1041
01:01:13,960 --> 01:01:17,600
Speaker 1: That kind of stuff can really bring people, you know,

1042
01:01:18,520 --> 01:01:20,760
Speaker 1: down in their worry because there as worried as you are.

1043
01:01:21,000 --> 01:01:29,840
Speaker 1: And then a lot of grounding, touch, a lot of touching, squeezing, weight,

1044
01:01:30,640 --> 01:01:33,760
Speaker 1: hands on, you know, holding you down so you don't

1045
01:01:33,800 --> 01:01:38,280
Speaker 1: fly away and your fears can be very good. Sensual

1046
01:01:38,440 --> 01:01:43,320
Speaker 1: massage is a great place to start with a person.

1047
01:01:43,400 --> 01:01:49,880
Speaker 1: It's it's body exploration, grounding and coregulation. Yeah, so that

1048
01:01:49,920 --> 01:01:53,000
Speaker 1: helps a lot too. I love how slow all of

1049
01:01:53,040 --> 01:01:55,240
Speaker 1: that sounds, because I think that's something at the beginning

1050
01:01:55,400 --> 01:01:57,240
Speaker 1: of a relationship or with a new person we do

1051
01:01:57,360 --> 01:01:59,600
Speaker 1: better at and then you kind of like skip that

1052
01:01:59,640 --> 01:02:02,240
Speaker 1: piece later. And for a woman, that is like the

1053
01:02:02,320 --> 01:02:04,760
Speaker 1: biggest turn on is all of the things you just

1054
01:02:04,880 --> 01:02:07,960
Speaker 1: described the body touch, the sensual nature, even if it

1055
01:02:08,040 --> 01:02:11,160
Speaker 1: was a massage or anything like that, like that really

1056
01:02:11,240 --> 01:02:13,840
Speaker 1: does help. I think a woman get really turned on

1057
01:02:13,960 --> 01:02:16,000
Speaker 1: into the place that maybe a man can get a

1058
01:02:16,040 --> 01:02:19,200
Speaker 1: little bit quicker. Well, he's ready to go because he's

1059
01:02:19,280 --> 01:02:21,760
Speaker 1: histoster and dominant. He got that hard on right away,

1060
01:02:22,280 --> 01:02:25,160
Speaker 1: and so he's much more ready to go. That being said,

1061
01:02:25,160 --> 01:02:31,760
Speaker 1: men are as desirous for intimate connection, heart connection, love, slowness,

1062
01:02:31,800 --> 01:02:35,640
Speaker 1: sensuality as the feminine is, as the woman is. UM.

1063
01:02:35,840 --> 01:02:40,840
Speaker 1: Men are really very similar to us as women. UM.

1064
01:02:40,880 --> 01:02:44,720
Speaker 1: I think men get a lot of um, you know,

1065
01:02:44,840 --> 01:02:47,280
Speaker 1: like we make fun of them, you know, they're only

1066
01:02:47,360 --> 01:02:50,160
Speaker 1: unit to get all for whatever, But that that's not

1067
01:02:50,320 --> 01:02:54,280
Speaker 1: actually really true. Men have hearts as big as as

1068
01:02:54,320 --> 01:02:58,280
Speaker 1: ours as the woman. So it's um creating a place

1069
01:02:58,320 --> 01:03:00,640
Speaker 1: for them to have that too and showing them the

1070
01:03:00,680 --> 01:03:03,760
Speaker 1: pathway to it that they appreciate very much. Yeah, just

1071
01:03:03,840 --> 01:03:06,160
Speaker 1: letting go that old programming. I agree with you. I

1072
01:03:06,240 --> 01:03:08,520
Speaker 1: just don't think that that's really how men are wired.

1073
01:03:08,560 --> 01:03:10,880
Speaker 1: And it's just been the way our society has created

1074
01:03:10,920 --> 01:03:14,480
Speaker 1: that mentality. And well, we raise them and we say

1075
01:03:14,480 --> 01:03:17,360
Speaker 1: to them, you're don't don't cry don't be a baby shocker, right,

1076
01:03:17,440 --> 01:03:19,160
Speaker 1: you know, like we take the emotion out of them.

1077
01:03:19,240 --> 01:03:21,640
Speaker 1: For a lot of men, they've never had any emotional

1078
01:03:21,640 --> 01:03:28,240
Speaker 1: expression beyond anger victim hood. Uh you know that that's

1079
01:03:28,320 --> 01:03:31,360
Speaker 1: like the only ones they get to have, which is shitty,

1080
01:03:32,440 --> 01:03:35,480
Speaker 1: so shitty to be on the other side of too

1081
01:03:36,320 --> 01:03:40,040
Speaker 1: of us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the more we as

1082
01:03:40,280 --> 01:03:44,600
Speaker 1: women as lovers to men can help heal their wounds

1083
01:03:44,920 --> 01:03:49,240
Speaker 1: of being cut off from their emotional expression and help

1084
01:03:49,320 --> 01:03:53,920
Speaker 1: them find their words and express themselves and understand that

1085
01:03:54,080 --> 01:03:56,400
Speaker 1: they're just like us. They just didn't even get the

1086
01:03:56,480 --> 01:04:02,240
Speaker 1: benefits of having emotional expression and that for them. Susan,

1087
01:04:02,360 --> 01:04:03,760
Speaker 1: thank you so much. I feel like I could talk

1088
01:04:03,760 --> 01:04:04,960
Speaker 1: to you all day, so we might just have to

1089
01:04:05,000 --> 01:04:12,240
Speaker 1: have you back on MACA have some things to do. Um,

1090
01:04:12,280 --> 01:04:14,560
Speaker 1: where can people find you? Because I know you have

1091
01:04:14,800 --> 01:04:17,920
Speaker 1: so many amazing resources, Like we've discussed a couple but

1092
01:04:18,000 --> 01:04:21,640
Speaker 1: you have tons, tons of books, tons of different programs

1093
01:04:21,680 --> 01:04:24,040
Speaker 1: people can download. So where can people find you? That's

1094
01:04:24,040 --> 01:04:27,160
Speaker 1: the easiest access to all of that stuff. Well, if

1095
01:04:27,160 --> 01:04:31,920
Speaker 1: you go to Personal Life Media, that's a good place. Um.

1096
01:04:31,680 --> 01:04:35,640
Speaker 1: I'm Susan Bratton on Instagram. I have a website called

1097
01:04:35,640 --> 01:04:39,280
Speaker 1: Better Lover with hundreds of free videos on any subject

1098
01:04:39,320 --> 01:04:41,160
Speaker 1: you could imagine. If you like the sound of what

1099
01:04:41,200 --> 01:04:45,360
Speaker 1: I've said so far, there's lots more um. And then

1100
01:04:45,360 --> 01:04:48,360
Speaker 1: of course we talked about the sexual Soul Made Pact

1101
01:04:48,480 --> 01:04:52,720
Speaker 1: dot com. We talked about magic Pill method dot com,

1102
01:04:52,760 --> 01:04:56,880
Speaker 1: and we talked about tuning fork tip dot com. And

1103
01:04:57,040 --> 01:05:00,200
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's tip or tips, but try

1104
01:05:00,280 --> 01:05:03,600
Speaker 1: wanted it's not a thees Um. Those are three good

1105
01:05:03,640 --> 01:05:06,480
Speaker 1: things to get you started if if they appeal to you.

1106
01:05:06,520 --> 01:05:08,680
Speaker 1: And there's plenty more where that came from. So thank

1107
01:05:08,720 --> 01:05:11,040
Speaker 1: you for having me. I really enjoyed being on your

1108
01:05:11,040 --> 01:05:14,160
Speaker 1: show with both of you, and it was a lot

1109
01:05:14,200 --> 01:05:19,600
Speaker 1: of fun, really, so informative and so fun. I think

1110
01:05:19,640 --> 01:05:21,840
Speaker 1: this is such an important topic, so I'm so glad

1111
01:05:21,840 --> 01:05:24,120
Speaker 1: that you're really talking about this. But we just need

1112
01:05:24,160 --> 01:05:26,640
Speaker 1: to learn about this like we're learning about everything else, y'all.

1113
01:05:26,640 --> 01:05:30,240
Speaker 1: It's a part of growth. Let's lean in, all right, Susan,

1114
01:05:30,280 --> 01:05:31,760
Speaker 1: thank you so much for being here, and thank you

1115
01:05:31,760 --> 01:05:32,480
Speaker 1: guys for listening.