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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter. If you

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Speaker 1: need advice on relationships, on work, on sex, on parenting,

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Speaker 1: and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve Harvey

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Speaker 1: FM dot com and we could be reading your letter

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Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're gonna read this

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Speaker 1: one right here, right now, and you never know, it

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Speaker 1: could be yours. You never know. Buckle up and hold

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Speaker 1: on tight. We gotta pull you here. It is Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: Thank you nephew. Subject hip hop and jazzy. I'll say

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Speaker 1: it again, hip hop and jazzy. Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm

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Speaker 1: a fifty two year old divorced woman dating a man

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Speaker 1: that is fifty seven years old. We've been together almost

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Speaker 1: a year, but we have fundamental differences that might break

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Speaker 1: us up. We met at my cousin's forty a birthday party.

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Speaker 1: He was a DJ, so I asked him to play

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Speaker 1: some classic R and B hits because all he was

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Speaker 1: playing was hip hop and we had a lot of

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Speaker 1: older people at the party that weren't into the rap

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Speaker 1: and hip hop music. We got into a shouting match

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Speaker 1: because he said he didn't take requests. I ended up

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Speaker 1: leaving a few minutes later because the music was too

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Speaker 1: loud and giving me a headache. He got my number

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Speaker 1: and called to personally apologized and asked me to meet

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Speaker 1: him for a drink. We went to a nice jazz club,

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Speaker 1: and that's the music I love. He says he loves

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Speaker 1: it too. We went on a few more dates and

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Speaker 1: I started falling for him. He's an insurance agent and

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Speaker 1: he djas on the weekend. Because of that, I'm finding

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Speaker 1: out he has two different personalities and it seems like

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Speaker 1: he's stuck in his thirties. When he was djaying for

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Speaker 1: a big rapper, at first, he dressed like a fifty

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Speaker 1: seven year old man. Now he wears jerseys and Jordan's

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Speaker 1: when we go out, and I'm always dressed like a

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Speaker 1: grown woman. He invites me to go to his djy

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Speaker 1: gigs with him, but I honestly can't deal with all

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Speaker 1: that bass and ignorant lyrics in his type of music.

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Speaker 1: At his house, he plays all rap when I'm there.

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Speaker 1: He says it's okay to be different and opposites attract.

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Speaker 1: He said he really likes me, but I am focused

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Speaker 1: on the wrong things. I want to date a grown

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Speaker 1: man that enjoys grown man things I don't enjoy shopping

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Speaker 1: for hip hop clothes with him, or sitting home alone

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Speaker 1: while he's out at the club. Is he is his

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Speaker 1: immaturity a deal breaker or should I get on his level? Well,

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Speaker 1: my fifty seven year old man, ever grow up? That

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Speaker 1: is the question. Well, I just have to say, you know,

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Speaker 1: here we go again. Listen to you, listen to you.

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Speaker 1: Just trying to change him, that's what we do. I

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Speaker 1: guess it's the nurturers in us that we always try

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Speaker 1: to rebuild a man. I mean, we tell ladies on

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Speaker 1: this show all the time, you cannot change a man.

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Speaker 1: You know, we can only change ourselves. Remember that first

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Speaker 1: night you met him, you guys got into a shouting

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Speaker 1: match at his job as a hip hop DJ. That's

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Speaker 1: what he was when you met him. Now you want

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Speaker 1: him to be someone else. The truth is, I think

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Speaker 1: he's comfortable being who he is and he doesn't see

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Speaker 1: the point in changing for you right now or maybe never.

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Speaker 1: But I don't want you to change either. I don't

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Speaker 1: want you to change. I can't even believe that you're

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Speaker 1: considering changing. You asked us if you should get on

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Speaker 1: his level. I say, no, you know, just be who

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Speaker 1: you are too. This man is just not for you.

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Speaker 1: He's not the one. And although you may be right

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Speaker 1: in everything you're saying about him growing up and being

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Speaker 1: immature and all of that, it doesn't matter because he's

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Speaker 1: not gonna do it. I mean, his look, his act,

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Speaker 1: go with his weekend job, and that's how he makes

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Speaker 1: his money. Yes, he is fifty seven and plays and

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Speaker 1: likes rap and wears hip hop gear. That's it. I mean,

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Speaker 1: it could be a lot worse. I say, but you know,

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Speaker 1: we like who we like, we want who we want.

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Speaker 1: We just you know, can't want to change them. So

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Speaker 1: I say, step aside. Let him have all that. Let

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Speaker 1: him have the club, let him have the clothes, let

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Speaker 1: him have the hip hop, all of that. That's what

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Speaker 1: he likes, while you wait for your grown man who

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Speaker 1: likes jazz like you like. Because the DJ is apparently

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Speaker 1: a deal breaker for you, and that's okay, That is okay.

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Speaker 1: You just may not be you know, you guys just

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Speaker 1: may not want to be together or have to be

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Speaker 1: together or can be together because of it. Steve, I

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Speaker 1: agree with you in this response to this letter the

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Speaker 1: Ladies Off. You know, Shirley said this on this show

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Speaker 1: how many times do we tell y'all open, open, over,

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Speaker 1: stop trying to fix these men, Stop collecting red flags,

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Speaker 1: leave them in the ground. Some of y'all riding around

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Speaker 1: with a truck full of red flags, lead them flags

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Speaker 1: stuck in the ground. You you got enough problems. You're

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Speaker 1: too old for this. What you need this in your life? Fault?

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Speaker 1: It started wrong. It had a moment in that way,

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Speaker 1: and when old Kate did it flipped right on back

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Speaker 1: to Rome. You fifty two, he fifty seven. We've been

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Speaker 1: together almost a year now. That means they're sleeping together.

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Speaker 1: But we have fundamental differences. Fundamental differences. Fundamentals build up

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Speaker 1: from what people are with. Fundamentally, this waiting for the

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Speaker 1: fundamentals of a person are the foundation of who they are.

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Speaker 1: The fundamentals of your relationship will be what your foundation

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Speaker 1: in the relationship is built on. That's my interpretation of

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Speaker 1: fundamental differences. I was at my cousin's fundy birthday party.

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Speaker 1: He was in DJ. I asked him play from Classic

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Speaker 1: r B because he was just playing hippop. A lot

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Speaker 1: of old people at party one into the rapping and

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Speaker 1: hippop music. We got into a shouting match because he said,

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Speaker 1: he don't take recording? Why is your ass at old

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Speaker 1: people party? How you the DJ and don't take requests?

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Speaker 1: And you had old people party? Do you know that's

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Speaker 1: how we party? On request? You any times? I don't

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Speaker 1: went up to the DJ booth and say, hey, man,

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Speaker 1: you can't. You gotta slow down some of these records. Man,

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Speaker 1: we need some slow jams in here. What you think

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Speaker 1: we're in here for? See back in the club, if

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Speaker 1: you played five fast records in the row, somebody came

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Speaker 1: up to the DJ booth and say, hey, pimp, what

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Speaker 1: you think we're in here? Fault? We gotta talk to

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Speaker 1: these girls. We gotta get in the ear. There ain't

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Speaker 1: nobody invented cell phones yet he got hit in the ear.

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Speaker 1: Right now. We'll have part of two of your response

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Speaker 1: coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour. Today

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Speaker 1: Strawberry letter title is hip hop and jazzy. We'll get

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Speaker 1: back into it right after this. You're listening show, all right?

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Speaker 1: Come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter. The subject

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Speaker 1: this couple is fundamentally different. She's divorced fifty two, he

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Speaker 1: fifty seventy. The fundamental differences is all in this letter.

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Speaker 1: But it started he was dealing the DJ and the

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Speaker 1: party for her cousin now as old people. At the party,

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Speaker 1: she go up there. He paying all rap music. It

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Speaker 1: ain't going good. She go up there and asked him

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Speaker 1: to change the music. Can't he play something else? They

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Speaker 1: get into a shouting match because he said he don't

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Speaker 1: take requests. He already at the wrong party. That's how

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Speaker 1: we survived back in the day with slow jams. Slow

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Speaker 1: jams was the only way we could get up on

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Speaker 1: this woman and talk to her. And you couldn't play

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Speaker 1: more than five fast records in the role at the

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Speaker 1: club back in the day because we had to slow

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Speaker 1: jams because we got to get up on these women

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Speaker 1: and talk to him cause, unbeknownst to us, but no

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Speaker 1: one had invented a sale phone back then, so we

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Speaker 1: got to get all that conversation in Now, she said.

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Speaker 1: I ended up leaving a few minutes later because the

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Speaker 1: music was too loud and giving me a headache. He

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Speaker 1: got my number and called to personally apologize and asked

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Speaker 1: me to meet him for a drink. Y'all went to

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Speaker 1: a jazz club and that that's the music I love,

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Speaker 1: he said. He loves it too. We went on a

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Speaker 1: few more dates and I started falling for him. He's

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Speaker 1: an insurance agent and DJs on the weekend. That's another

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Speaker 1: fundamental difference. One of my best friends is an all

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Speaker 1: State agent. He don't DJ on the weekends because he

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Speaker 1: the all State agent. Be out here Talkmark getting paying

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Speaker 1: people death benefits and rescue in their house, and you're

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Speaker 1: at the club Talkmark Rajas And that's a fundamental difference. Now,

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Speaker 1: she said, because of that, I'm finding out he got

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Speaker 1: two different personalities. And it seemed like he's stuck in

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Speaker 1: the thirties when he is DJ for a big rapper.

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Speaker 1: At first, he dressed like his fifty seven year old man.

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Speaker 1: Wait a minute, what you mean? It seems like he

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Speaker 1: stuck what you met him DJ and hip hop music?

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Speaker 1: What what's the new discovery? Hell here eating up that

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Speaker 1: DJ and music? Here? Don't like he played what he like?

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Speaker 1: Now you find out he got two different personalities. Seemed

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Speaker 1: like he's stuck in his thirty when he's DJ and

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Speaker 1: for a big rapper. He'd been showing you this the

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Speaker 1: whole time you met him. It's tarted at the party.

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Speaker 1: Now he wears At first he dressed like a fifty

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Speaker 1: seven year old man. Now he wears jerseys and Jordan's

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Speaker 1: when we go out, and I'm always dressed like a

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Speaker 1: grown woman. I've seen this out before. It's not a

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Speaker 1: good look. We've all seen this out with a woman

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Speaker 1: had on a nice dress, heels, and she's sitting up

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Speaker 1: that this man with this ironedass T shirt looking like

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Speaker 1: a food I'm sorry, bros. I'm just gonna put it

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Speaker 1: out there. If you're dating a grown adult woman, then

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Speaker 1: you need to dress like a grown adult man. Lead

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Speaker 1: him damn tennis shoes at home. Put your ass some

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Speaker 1: slacks of dress suit and get you a button down

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Speaker 1: shirt and put you some shoes on. Sitting up across

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Speaker 1: from this woman, she put a dress on, and your

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Speaker 1: ass got some jeans and a big ass shirt on

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Speaker 1: and a jersey. I don't know nobody greater than me,

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Speaker 1: so I'm not wearing your damn jersey. I'm sitting up

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Speaker 1: in a Lebron James jersey. Lebron. Ain't me dog sitting

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Speaker 1: up promoting Steph carry little light ski and ass. I'm

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Speaker 1: sitting a grown the old ass, big little man. I

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Speaker 1: got the little light ski and ball on my chest Man,

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Speaker 1: grow your ass up wearing other men's clothes and stuff.

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Speaker 1: I can't stare dudes where I'm just gonna put it

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Speaker 1: out there now. And then he invites me to go

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Speaker 1: to the DJ gigs with him, but I honestly can't

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Speaker 1: deal with all that base and ignorant legs in his

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Speaker 1: type of music. At his house he plays all wrap

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Speaker 1: when I'm there. He said it's okay to be different

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Speaker 1: and opposites of track, and he said he really he

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Speaker 1: likes me. But I'm focused on the wrong things. No

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Speaker 1: you're not, No, you're not. You better focus on these

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Speaker 1: differences because that's what you're gonna have to live with

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Speaker 1: the differences. And if you can't deal with the differences,

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Speaker 1: then stop dealing with him, because it's obvious he ain't

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Speaker 1: fit to change. I want to day to grown man

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Speaker 1: that in George grown man things, well, it ain't him.

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Speaker 1: I don't enjoy shopping for hipcop hip hop clothes he do.

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Speaker 1: I don't like shopping for hipcop clothes with him, or

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Speaker 1: sitting home alone while he's out at the club. Why

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Speaker 1: would you sign up for this at fifty two? You

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Speaker 1: got an old ass man? This damn this sixty all

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Speaker 1: his free time here in the club. He wearing sneakers

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Speaker 1: in jerseys. You're sitting over there with your dress on

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Speaker 1: with your legs crossed. It's his immaturity a deal breaker.

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Speaker 1: Well it is for me. And sure, now if you

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Speaker 1: want to date this little man that's stuck in the

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Speaker 1: pass that thank he somebody he ain't. He ain't a rapper.

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Speaker 1: Obviously he didn't make it. He don't DJ for the

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Speaker 1: big time rapper. No bone because the big time rapper

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Speaker 1: somewhere raising the family right now, he don't have that

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Speaker 1: because he's an ass got to go to the club

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Speaker 1: and he ensurance agent. Is this immature the deal breaker?

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Speaker 1: Or should I get on his level? So what you're

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Speaker 1: asking us is should I lower yourself down, stop wanting

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Speaker 1: what I want and just give him everything he won't?

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Speaker 1: How do you expect to stay happy in that? Because

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Speaker 1: you're not fitting the start like a rap music You're

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Speaker 1: just not And that's okay. Yeah, well, my fifty seven

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Speaker 1: year old man, ever, grow up. You don't have a

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Speaker 1: fifty seven year old man. All right, leave us your comments,

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Speaker 1: thank you, Leave us your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter

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Speaker 1: on Instagram and Steve Harvey FM and check out the

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Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter. Seconds, you're actually dating a real old ass

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Speaker 1: looking boy. Yeah. Coming up next in sportstock with Junior.

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Speaker 1: Right after this, you're listening to The Dave Harvey Morning

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Speaker 1: Show