1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:11,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, let's just keep a real straight shot with no Jason. 2 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:15,920 Speaker 1: I'm gonna get a little bit rougher. I'm here for it. 3 00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:19,040 Speaker 1: Those who really believe in the American process, all of us. 4 00:00:19,880 --> 00:00:23,280 Speaker 1: Straight Shot No Chaser. What's your Girl? Tesla Figuo on 5 00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:26,520 Speaker 1: the Black Effect podcasting that word that what's happing everybody? 6 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:29,400 Speaker 1: This is Tesla Figuro with Straight Shot No Chaser giving 7 00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:34,360 Speaker 1: you another episode a part of the six series episode 8 00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:37,920 Speaker 1: with Tesla Figure Communications Group Tesla Figural straight Shot No 9 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:40,360 Speaker 1: Chase are partnered with the George Floyd Foundation as we 10 00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:45,680 Speaker 1: deliver this important impactful content directly to over five hundred 11 00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:49,479 Speaker 1: thousand of our incarcerated brothers and sisters that will hear 12 00:00:49,479 --> 00:00:54,000 Speaker 1: this podcast directly. What a blessing uh and a great 13 00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:57,400 Speaker 1: opportunity for us to eat, to be able to, like 14 00:00:57,440 --> 00:01:00,400 Speaker 1: they say, reach one and teach one at the time. 15 00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:03,360 Speaker 1: We are also uploading this to the Straight Shot No 16 00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:10,200 Speaker 1: Chaser podcasts so that individuals who have a one either 17 00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:13,800 Speaker 1: been incarcerated, no, someone who is are just anybody in 18 00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:16,200 Speaker 1: general that wants to learn. I do believe that this 19 00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:19,320 Speaker 1: is helpful to everyone that listens to it. So do 20 00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:21,480 Speaker 1: me a favor and make sure that you subscribe to 21 00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:24,160 Speaker 1: the podcast wherever you get your podcasts. We're going to 22 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:27,479 Speaker 1: continue our series. UH. The episodes that we've already put 23 00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:31,640 Speaker 1: out have dealt with posting carceracing syndrome. With Sheila Bruno, 24 00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:36,240 Speaker 1: we also dealt with and she was indirectly impacted by 25 00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:40,119 Speaker 1: being married to someone UH that was incarcerated. We also 26 00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:42,559 Speaker 1: had an opportunity to sit down with my good brother 27 00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:46,200 Speaker 1: Louis Read that talked about turning your purpose UH into 28 00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:49,240 Speaker 1: taking your prison sentence and turning it into purpose. He 29 00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:52,600 Speaker 1: served a fifteen years as well, and it's now doing 30 00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:58,080 Speaker 1: phenomenal things with the Reform Alliance organization. We also had 31 00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:00,559 Speaker 1: an opportunity to talk to Dr White, who talks about 32 00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:04,080 Speaker 1: the soul and the spirit and and how that also 33 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:06,920 Speaker 1: needs to be healed and worked on while you are 34 00:02:07,240 --> 00:02:11,200 Speaker 1: doing your time. And today's guests is a I would 35 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:13,760 Speaker 1: say day one friend of mine, but really not day one, 36 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:17,480 Speaker 1: because he's much much older than me, much much older. 37 00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:22,400 Speaker 1: But he's someone that I've known for a very long time, 38 00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:26,559 Speaker 1: going all the way back to and having an opportunity 39 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:29,600 Speaker 1: to be a part of his life and also the 40 00:02:29,639 --> 00:02:32,160 Speaker 1: life of others. How I met him rest in peace 41 00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:35,639 Speaker 1: to et Um. I've had an opportunity to see of 42 00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:41,120 Speaker 1: close and firsthand of what UH unfair sentencing can do, 43 00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:46,200 Speaker 1: what it means to UH do time under a bill 44 00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:51,280 Speaker 1: that I advocate for constantly. That was about really having 45 00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:54,560 Speaker 1: a crack cocaine disparage e, which is right now we're 46 00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:57,560 Speaker 1: talking about that in the news with Joe Biden's or 47 00:02:57,639 --> 00:03:02,240 Speaker 1: deal with the crack pipes crack pipe pipe saga, I 48 00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:05,560 Speaker 1: would say, UM, but watching a first time non vital 49 00:03:05,639 --> 00:03:10,560 Speaker 1: offender do uh over fifteen years UH for a crime 50 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:13,760 Speaker 1: that was a part of a conspiracy that was again 51 00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:16,519 Speaker 1: first time non violent, which is a result of the 52 00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:19,840 Speaker 1: ninety four Crime Bill. He is always my favorite guests 53 00:03:20,320 --> 00:03:23,680 Speaker 1: to bring on, not just because of his experience, but 54 00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:27,360 Speaker 1: because of what he was able to do with while 55 00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:29,760 Speaker 1: he was serving his time and turning that into a 56 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:32,840 Speaker 1: positive And just as a personal friend of mine, I 57 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:36,280 Speaker 1: have learned so much during his bid and now that 58 00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:39,200 Speaker 1: he has been home. So I want to welcome national 59 00:03:39,240 --> 00:03:46,600 Speaker 1: best selling Arthur Cliffords. But Johnson, how are you saying? 60 00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:53,400 Speaker 1: That was a good intro? So I'll get straight to it. Um, 61 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:57,920 Speaker 1: give us a little bit of synopsis on a little 62 00:03:57,920 --> 00:04:01,160 Speaker 1: bit about yourself. And remember, I want you to talk 63 00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:05,440 Speaker 1: directly to the incarcerated person um that is listening to this, 64 00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:07,920 Speaker 1: although everybody else will hear this, I want you to 65 00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:10,040 Speaker 1: speak directly to them as if you were sitting with 66 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:13,160 Speaker 1: them on the yard and having a conversation UM and 67 00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:17,120 Speaker 1: really being able to connect um of your experience. So 68 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:21,320 Speaker 1: if you were to give a quick summary of your 69 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:26,000 Speaker 1: background and how that uh lead you to being sentenced 70 00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:31,880 Speaker 1: um and and getting your your bid in federal time. Well, 71 00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:35,640 Speaker 1: I'm Rigally from Englwood, California, born in Detroit, raised Nick 72 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:40,279 Speaker 1: would early in my life committed to be in the 73 00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:44,479 Speaker 1: game and blood from Centerpoord blood and everything that entails 74 00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:48,920 Speaker 1: and dinner with the drugs and the mayhemm within the streets. 75 00:04:49,279 --> 00:04:51,280 Speaker 1: I got to heavy into the drug game as a 76 00:04:51,279 --> 00:04:56,520 Speaker 1: teenager and uh after that it was you know the 77 00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:59,200 Speaker 1: highs and those when you ride the highs, having a 78 00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:01,599 Speaker 1: lot of money, doing a lot of traveling from state 79 00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:06,800 Speaker 1: to state. Ended up in Oklahoma and really started making 80 00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:10,120 Speaker 1: some serious moves in the streets for a decade and 81 00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:13,920 Speaker 1: then round up doing a fellow prison first time ever 82 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:16,120 Speaker 1: in prison, first time now in voln defend. I guess 83 00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:21,159 Speaker 1: seventeen and a half years, and at that time I 84 00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:25,400 Speaker 1: blamed the people in the streets instead of accept responsibility 85 00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:29,560 Speaker 1: that it was me. But as I grew older and mature, 86 00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:34,960 Speaker 1: learning how to adapt to prison life and realizing that 87 00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:41,560 Speaker 1: the way I was really like groomed trained. You could 88 00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:45,400 Speaker 1: say it's the gang bang and get into everything that's 89 00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:50,160 Speaker 1: negative inside of the prison until I went to the 90 00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:52,680 Speaker 1: whole and ended up having to do about a year 91 00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:56,960 Speaker 1: and the hole for something that I was accused heard 92 00:05:57,040 --> 00:05:59,800 Speaker 1: numb man. I realized I can't do the rest of 93 00:05:59,839 --> 00:06:01,720 Speaker 1: my time. Like Beau said, I'm men get a license 94 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:05,279 Speaker 1: from a dying prison. So that's when I started playing 95 00:06:05,279 --> 00:06:09,280 Speaker 1: around with stories and writing stuff down and lab and 96 00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:12,440 Speaker 1: after reading a good friend of mine now Terry Woods 97 00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:16,560 Speaker 1: and Crime after reading their books realizing their urban tales 98 00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:20,320 Speaker 1: was more East Coast base, so I started playing around 99 00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:22,760 Speaker 1: with and I can do this, And I end up 100 00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:26,440 Speaker 1: playing around when wrote a couple of stories and end 101 00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:28,800 Speaker 1: up a good friend of mine and drying smith from 102 00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:32,640 Speaker 1: New Orleans said, man, Terry Woods is accept the manuscript. 103 00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:35,480 Speaker 1: You should sender your book. And never did I write 104 00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:38,560 Speaker 1: for to get published. I was writing just to be 105 00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:43,560 Speaker 1: able to have some peace and my mind inside that prison, 106 00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:46,960 Speaker 1: I taught myself how to type, and I started typing 107 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:51,840 Speaker 1: up my manuscripts, and I realized the days flew by 108 00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:56,680 Speaker 1: as well as I was getting not not in but 109 00:06:56,880 --> 00:07:01,200 Speaker 1: trump still was. Dietn't anything just because who I am 110 00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:04,160 Speaker 1: in my background from being here with blood, from the 111 00:07:04,279 --> 00:07:07,400 Speaker 1: leadership standpoint. But for the most part, I just kept 112 00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:10,600 Speaker 1: righting and writing, and the time was flying by. And 113 00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:14,920 Speaker 1: in two thousand and five, my friends h in trancepitchs 114 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:18,360 Speaker 1: like I remember gonna seeing your manuscripted Terry Woods, He's 115 00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:21,880 Speaker 1: sure I send it to her. She liked my work 116 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:25,040 Speaker 1: and she introduced me into the business. And after that 117 00:07:25,760 --> 00:07:28,360 Speaker 1: a few more years went by, and then she introduced 118 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:31,520 Speaker 1: me to Call Whoever because her company went to front 119 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:34,560 Speaker 1: and he signed me, and I've been with him every 120 00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:38,320 Speaker 1: since now over almost a decade and a half, sixteen 121 00:07:38,360 --> 00:07:41,800 Speaker 1: books later, working on number seventeen now here. I am 122 00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:47,560 Speaker 1: so when you talk about because um one of Louis's 123 00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:49,160 Speaker 1: who we had on, I wanted to make sure that 124 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:53,640 Speaker 1: we had on people who were directly impacted and indirectly impacted. 125 00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:58,320 Speaker 1: And Louis talked about really finding his purpose after he 126 00:07:58,440 --> 00:08:01,080 Speaker 1: got out. Um, you know, he talked about the tools 127 00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:03,800 Speaker 1: that he used to you know, focus and to have 128 00:08:03,880 --> 00:08:06,560 Speaker 1: a plan, and he had an opportunity to you know, 129 00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:09,040 Speaker 1: work with politicians and after he got that. But your story, 130 00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:12,840 Speaker 1: the reason why one of your story was because you really, um, 131 00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:15,960 Speaker 1: you know, found an entire new skill that you had 132 00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:20,280 Speaker 1: while you were doing that time and not even realizing 133 00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:22,960 Speaker 1: it was something you know that was in you. And 134 00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:25,600 Speaker 1: tell me a little bit about when you were writing 135 00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:30,640 Speaker 1: those stories, how it really allows you to escape. And 136 00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:34,079 Speaker 1: I'm saying that because again, imagine you're sitting on the 137 00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:36,120 Speaker 1: yard and somebody listening to you. They may not be 138 00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:38,480 Speaker 1: a writer, or they may not you know, that may 139 00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:40,920 Speaker 1: not be their skill. But really kind of harp on 140 00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:43,680 Speaker 1: you touched on a little bit, but how that how 141 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:47,720 Speaker 1: did it did it help your mental ability to escape, 142 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:50,880 Speaker 1: uh from what was around what was going on around 143 00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:55,000 Speaker 1: you with creating a story? Um, how that that zone? 144 00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:58,360 Speaker 1: How did that zone really benefit you from you know, 145 00:08:58,559 --> 00:09:01,240 Speaker 1: not being as distracted because you always talk about a program, 146 00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:04,439 Speaker 1: having a program, getting up, you know, going to the library, 147 00:09:04,679 --> 00:09:08,120 Speaker 1: going to what keeping you away from all the mayhem 148 00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:10,160 Speaker 1: that was going on. Tell us a little bit about 149 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:13,400 Speaker 1: the mental standpoint of how important it is, you know, 150 00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:17,680 Speaker 1: to find a place of escape mentally, and it's it's 151 00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:21,559 Speaker 1: a good question. It's like more or less, I didn't 152 00:09:21,559 --> 00:09:24,679 Speaker 1: even realize it. Like you said in there, everybody has 153 00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:26,920 Speaker 1: a program. You get up, go to breakfast, you go 154 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,280 Speaker 1: to the yard, you go work out, you come back, 155 00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:33,319 Speaker 1: your showers, you go do whatever educational classes of course 156 00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:35,520 Speaker 1: you have, which is minimum but you should have to 157 00:09:35,559 --> 00:09:38,600 Speaker 1: take for the g D dudes or whatever. My program 158 00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:41,800 Speaker 1: formed with just me waking up one of the breakers, 159 00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:44,520 Speaker 1: going to live there for three hours, come out for lunch, 160 00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:48,240 Speaker 1: cheer for a minute, go back for three hours, come 161 00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:51,560 Speaker 1: back with the dinner, eat cheer, go back from pile 162 00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:53,680 Speaker 1: to eight. It was keeping me off the yard. It 163 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:56,760 Speaker 1: was keeping me up the ways from the mayhem. Though 164 00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:59,480 Speaker 1: I still, like I said, still was hands on because 165 00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:02,319 Speaker 1: I'm gonna adership from leaderships. Then when it's being the 166 00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:10,880 Speaker 1: blood running blood and it just as Turing progressed, I 167 00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:13,880 Speaker 1: didn't really know this thing. I didn't really know about 168 00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:16,040 Speaker 1: the mental part of it. I just knew it was 169 00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:18,760 Speaker 1: keeping me out of trouble. And then that you know, 170 00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:21,840 Speaker 1: the mont was fine next and the cabins were slipping 171 00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:25,120 Speaker 1: and I transferred to another spot. I kept the same program, 172 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:27,880 Speaker 1: so focusing on for three or four more spots into 173 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:31,280 Speaker 1: my release. But while I was in it freed my mind. 174 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:35,640 Speaker 1: I didn't hear nothing. It's like, really, I'm in depth 175 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:39,400 Speaker 1: in my story. It's giving me up peace and a 176 00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:42,640 Speaker 1: term as I looked back, and that's what saved my 177 00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:47,280 Speaker 1: life in prison. And I didn't realize that I had 178 00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:50,079 Speaker 1: many issues, you know what I mean. I was too 179 00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:53,719 Speaker 1: busy focused on survival. And then once I made some 180 00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:58,240 Speaker 1: money from Wilder visit, I really got motivated to stay 181 00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:00,920 Speaker 1: on my program because I'm in a little change on 182 00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:05,040 Speaker 1: to help my children. I'm living comfortable on prison. So 183 00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:08,120 Speaker 1: it and it's just like I'm writing. And my writing 184 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:12,920 Speaker 1: grew from I think I could do this, to letting 185 00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:16,079 Speaker 1: dudes read my stuff onto yard need loving it, to 186 00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:19,760 Speaker 1: actual somebody from the streets reaching out and paying me 187 00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:22,160 Speaker 1: for it. So it was like I'm able to do 188 00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:26,800 Speaker 1: something that grew from just something I thought who became 189 00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:30,640 Speaker 1: a passion to something that saved my life to something 190 00:11:30,679 --> 00:11:33,480 Speaker 1: that I loved and I'm getting some coins from it. 191 00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:37,280 Speaker 1: So I'm like, Okay, this is it. This is something 192 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:39,960 Speaker 1: that I can come home to and be positive because 193 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:41,880 Speaker 1: I don't know that. I'm not no dummy. You know, 194 00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:44,760 Speaker 1: I graduated in high school whatever, but I didn't have trades, 195 00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:47,640 Speaker 1: and they had the trades they have in their or minimum. 196 00:11:47,679 --> 00:11:50,600 Speaker 1: But I still took the course for harder culture and 197 00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:53,960 Speaker 1: guarding and stuff like that. MOS gonna come home and 198 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:57,480 Speaker 1: be hord culture or whatever. Not need that, ain't you 199 00:11:57,480 --> 00:12:01,160 Speaker 1: know my thing? But like and said, I didn't realize 200 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:04,520 Speaker 1: how much it helped me. Really, he gave me some 201 00:12:04,679 --> 00:12:09,079 Speaker 1: mind like intercom inside that country jump with his wicked 202 00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:11,640 Speaker 1: I mean mayhem and still going around me, and I'm 203 00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:14,200 Speaker 1: gonna beliveas to it because I'm in the library way 204 00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:19,840 Speaker 1: from and to come home. And there was a whole 205 00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:22,640 Speaker 1: another story about middle challenge of trying to deal with 206 00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:29,440 Speaker 1: fifteen years eleven months later and coming home and everything 207 00:12:29,559 --> 00:12:34,000 Speaker 1: is so fast, I mean everything. So I'm looking we're 208 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:37,559 Speaker 1: driving and it feels like they're going seventy five and 209 00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:40,480 Speaker 1: we're on the street, but really they're going forward to 210 00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:45,440 Speaker 1: going to Walmart and actually start hyper ventilating with just 211 00:12:45,559 --> 00:12:48,520 Speaker 1: much people around me. Now you would think why would 212 00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:51,880 Speaker 1: he be that way when he was imprisoned with men 213 00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:57,160 Speaker 1: around it's not the same. It's just like you know, 214 00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:59,560 Speaker 1: I got to have one in the movies and everybody 215 00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:02,720 Speaker 1: they speed up the camera and make everybody go fast. 216 00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:05,080 Speaker 1: That's what it was like. When I'm looking at people 217 00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:07,640 Speaker 1: work my skoot it and I'm looking at I'm like, okay, 218 00:13:07,640 --> 00:13:09,640 Speaker 1: I gotta get autie. I'm literally going up side of 219 00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:12,960 Speaker 1: goulping for air. It was like I almost couldn't breathe. 220 00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:17,240 Speaker 1: And then to come home and with the sixteen days 221 00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:22,120 Speaker 1: get a job and are where um uh parloud there's 222 00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:25,760 Speaker 1: a plastic manufacturing company. And to get that job was 223 00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:31,040 Speaker 1: like okay. So it's like highs and lows. I'm still 224 00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:34,360 Speaker 1: smooking a lot of everything moving around, but you know, okay, 225 00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:37,200 Speaker 1: I got a job at the sixteen Now I got it, 226 00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:39,480 Speaker 1: and I got I threw my old to my job 227 00:13:39,559 --> 00:13:42,959 Speaker 1: and grantually getting promotion and getting up. I like, okay, 228 00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:45,920 Speaker 1: I'm living this normal life. But at the same time, 229 00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:50,760 Speaker 1: when I at work, dudes paying with each other, F 230 00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:54,760 Speaker 1: you f you flew, if you you bit smoot. If 231 00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:58,320 Speaker 1: I'm jumping and looking because I'm used to when you 232 00:13:58,400 --> 00:14:01,000 Speaker 1: hear those words step it ain't something to go down 233 00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:03,520 Speaker 1: look at and make sure it ain't your people. And 234 00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:07,080 Speaker 1: I'm depencive. So now I'm staying closed in at work 235 00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:10,760 Speaker 1: and to them, he is coming off his standoffice. But 236 00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:13,439 Speaker 1: I don't want to be cool with you because if 237 00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:15,800 Speaker 1: you played and call me a bit like you had 238 00:14:15,840 --> 00:14:19,800 Speaker 1: to do, my mind is gonna be programmed to hurt them. 239 00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:21,520 Speaker 1: Now I'm to do a job, and now I'm gonna 240 00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:24,360 Speaker 1: go back to jail. Then you you got that kinstantly 241 00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:26,640 Speaker 1: master man. You gotta do right. You gotta do right. 242 00:14:26,880 --> 00:14:28,520 Speaker 1: You go to your own go right to jail. You're 243 00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:31,160 Speaker 1: gonna go a jail. So you live in so much. 244 00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:35,560 Speaker 1: Then you steady trying to catch up, trying to get 245 00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:39,120 Speaker 1: back or get to know my children, which was another 246 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:43,840 Speaker 1: episode because our relationship was strange and I'm like not 247 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:46,640 Speaker 1: really interested. I can't come home and be daddy, do this, 248 00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:49,560 Speaker 1: do that, because these dudes just grown down in eighteen 249 00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:51,960 Speaker 1: and two ony three years old, two any years old. 250 00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:55,920 Speaker 1: So now I'm trying to be a friend of source, 251 00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:59,960 Speaker 1: which was another mistake. I'm still the father. I could 252 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,480 Speaker 1: can come back, like I try to tell, I can't 253 00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:04,040 Speaker 1: make up what we lost, but I'm here now. So 254 00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:07,960 Speaker 1: you got the family dynamic strain. You got the middle 255 00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:12,000 Speaker 1: PASSI of work strain because I'm just I'm volund me 256 00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:14,640 Speaker 1: seeing then you got the nervous and part of it 257 00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:18,520 Speaker 1: because I'm scared I'm gonna go back to jail. So 258 00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:21,920 Speaker 1: what did I fall back to that time and gonna 259 00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:26,800 Speaker 1: get off working? And right? My writing saves me and 260 00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:31,400 Speaker 1: here it saves me out here because I'm away from it. 261 00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:35,040 Speaker 1: I don't feeling no strange, I don't feel a family dynamic, 262 00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:40,680 Speaker 1: I don't feel no pressure, I don't feel worthy. I'm 263 00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:44,160 Speaker 1: and gout and what I'm doing this is really literally 264 00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:48,320 Speaker 1: saving my life in prison, and it's helping me deal 265 00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:51,480 Speaker 1: with life now. But it hasn't mean I really needed 266 00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:55,560 Speaker 1: by closing myself. Oh, it didn't address those issues. Now 267 00:15:55,640 --> 00:15:58,560 Speaker 1: that I learned a little bit more from the middle standpoint, 268 00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:02,840 Speaker 1: I'll still twisted, but I can't. I gotta learn how 269 00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:05,680 Speaker 1: to get away from that time and address these issues 270 00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:09,960 Speaker 1: so I can adapt to community, to the world. I 271 00:16:10,040 --> 00:16:14,640 Speaker 1: gotta have just so much to do, but I'm scared. 272 00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:20,040 Speaker 1: Thanks to you, I'm taking baby steps. I'm learning more things. 273 00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:24,800 Speaker 1: I'm starting to get outside the box, interested in politics 274 00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:29,920 Speaker 1: through the whole bush, no bush, this is named Trump 275 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:32,760 Speaker 1: when he was running. Now I'm able to sit up 276 00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:35,160 Speaker 1: and talk you this do right here, doing this, this, 277 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:38,000 Speaker 1: this and half as really n what I'm talking about, 278 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:41,720 Speaker 1: holding my conversation and people are looking at me. I'm 279 00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:44,640 Speaker 1: conversating with at birth telling me that dude, many be 280 00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:47,760 Speaker 1: making this movie do but not it looked this way, 281 00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:49,720 Speaker 1: but really you only could do this way because it's 282 00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:52,560 Speaker 1: hands it's time, because this, this and this, this is 283 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:56,240 Speaker 1: why Maama didn't do wh and really speaking like, I 284 00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:58,040 Speaker 1: know what I'm talking about, but I don't got that 285 00:16:58,120 --> 00:17:01,520 Speaker 1: game contest. Yeah, well, let's talk committed about that because 286 00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:06,240 Speaker 1: support systems are so important, and um I talked about 287 00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:08,560 Speaker 1: it on the last few episodes, and I want to 288 00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:11,240 Speaker 1: talk about that, and you know, we can talk real transparent. 289 00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:14,560 Speaker 1: You know, I don't deny my relationship with you and 290 00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:16,800 Speaker 1: being your friend and what I've learned, and I think 291 00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:18,960 Speaker 1: you can help a lot of people. And Louis and 292 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:21,880 Speaker 1: I talked about it on our on our episode as well, 293 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:24,359 Speaker 1: like the support system. Listening to you talk now, I 294 00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:26,680 Speaker 1: remember coming to see you. But first let me just 295 00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:28,080 Speaker 1: kind of back up and said a couple of things. 296 00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:31,399 Speaker 1: It took something somebody to believe in you before you 297 00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:33,760 Speaker 1: could believe in yourself because a lot of your story 298 00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:36,920 Speaker 1: about um your homies that was like, no, man, your 299 00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:39,119 Speaker 1: book is good. You need to submit it, and no, 300 00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:42,200 Speaker 1: you should put it in and reading it took them encouraging. 301 00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:43,760 Speaker 1: And I know we don't have a lot of time, 302 00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:45,800 Speaker 1: but I wanna and I probably need to bring you 303 00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:47,679 Speaker 1: back for a second episode because there's so much about 304 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:50,240 Speaker 1: your background and we can talk about, but I don't 305 00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:54,320 Speaker 1: want to brush over that part of uh. Because Louis 306 00:17:54,359 --> 00:17:57,159 Speaker 1: talked about having people in your life that we're supportive 307 00:17:57,280 --> 00:17:59,440 Speaker 1: to him and have that support system is helpful. And 308 00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:01,840 Speaker 1: then we also talked about how you guys have to 309 00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:04,919 Speaker 1: be open to letting that support system support you and 310 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:08,159 Speaker 1: the brokenness I get that comes from not trusting people 311 00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:12,280 Speaker 1: and not and thinking everybody's against you, and what prison 312 00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:15,360 Speaker 1: does in the post incarceration syndrome of what happens even 313 00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:18,720 Speaker 1: when you come home. I told Louis from a support standpoint, 314 00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:23,080 Speaker 1: it's not always easy to support somebody while they're doing time, 315 00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:25,919 Speaker 1: and certainly not you know, when they come home. And 316 00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:27,720 Speaker 1: so he talked that, he was like, that's interesting. I 317 00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:29,359 Speaker 1: didn't hear, you know, he said he didn't think about 318 00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:32,000 Speaker 1: it that way, and I said, you know, he had 319 00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:34,520 Speaker 1: made a comment about, uh, you know what, it's all 320 00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:36,440 Speaker 1: about the tone and how you say it. And I said, 321 00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:39,520 Speaker 1: the tone bother y'all about everything all the time. That's 322 00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:41,800 Speaker 1: why when you said tone a minute ago, I was 323 00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:44,919 Speaker 1: thinking about you and thinking about how, no matter what 324 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:48,000 Speaker 1: the tone was, because of all of the things you're 325 00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:49,720 Speaker 1: you're dealing that you have to deal with when you 326 00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:52,600 Speaker 1: come home. I wanna talk about that for a second, 327 00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:56,960 Speaker 1: because whoever's listening now, well, hopefully one day get the 328 00:18:57,000 --> 00:19:08,320 Speaker 1: opportunity to come home. I remember coming to see you 329 00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:11,320 Speaker 1: and you would say, I don't understand what one You 330 00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:13,160 Speaker 1: would always ask me, I don't know why you're wasting 331 00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:15,639 Speaker 1: time on this politics ship and doing this ship for 332 00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:18,080 Speaker 1: people that you don't know, they're not gonna have no loyalty. 333 00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:20,600 Speaker 1: You wasting your time. That was the first You were 334 00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:24,120 Speaker 1: not always sounded like this, But and then you would 335 00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:27,440 Speaker 1: also talk about how you didn't understand how people went 336 00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:29,520 Speaker 1: back to prison. You said, I don't get it. You 337 00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:32,720 Speaker 1: say this dude just went came back. Man, when I'm 338 00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:34,800 Speaker 1: when I go home, I'm I'm done. I don't know 339 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:37,119 Speaker 1: they keep talking about the pressure, and I don't understand 340 00:19:37,119 --> 00:19:39,840 Speaker 1: what they're talking about. Ain't no pressure. I remember looking 341 00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:42,359 Speaker 1: at you, and for those who are listening, if you're 342 00:19:42,359 --> 00:19:45,280 Speaker 1: a support system to somebody that's doing time, I would 343 00:19:45,359 --> 00:19:48,040 Speaker 1: never bust your bubble and say, well, you're gonna see 344 00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:49,800 Speaker 1: when you get home it's gonna be this, this, this, 345 00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:51,520 Speaker 1: Because remember you got mad down the road. He's like, 346 00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:53,439 Speaker 1: why you didn't tell me? And I said, well, because 347 00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:56,359 Speaker 1: while you were doing your time, whatever you needed to 348 00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:59,480 Speaker 1: get through during your time, it wasn't for me to 349 00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:02,360 Speaker 1: take a away from that, but to be a support 350 00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:05,520 Speaker 1: a good friend when you come home. Because I knew 351 00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:08,119 Speaker 1: what the realities were coming. So if I told you, 352 00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:10,159 Speaker 1: oh no, it's not gonna be this it's easy, or 353 00:20:10,359 --> 00:20:12,080 Speaker 1: it's gonna be hard to push your books. Are you're 354 00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:13,879 Speaker 1: gonna have this or this or that? How does that 355 00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:17,520 Speaker 1: help you remain in in the zone that you're talking 356 00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:19,800 Speaker 1: about to do your time. So the first thing was 357 00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:23,600 Speaker 1: getting you home, and then when the realities hit that 358 00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:26,000 Speaker 1: it wasn't as easy as you thought what you said, 359 00:20:26,119 --> 00:20:27,600 Speaker 1: all I gotta do is go in to bathroom for 360 00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:29,920 Speaker 1: five minutes and figure that's literally what you said, I 361 00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:31,320 Speaker 1: don't know if you remember you said, all I gotta 362 00:20:31,359 --> 00:20:32,920 Speaker 1: do it's going to bathroom and figure out how to 363 00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:35,719 Speaker 1: do these smartphones, and then it's on, I don't need 364 00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:40,080 Speaker 1: nothing else. I'm good everything that you mentioned on how 365 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:43,119 Speaker 1: it wasn't as easy as you thought from being in 366 00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:44,639 Speaker 1: the store. I remember one time you called me. He 367 00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:47,560 Speaker 1: was like, do they still do the butcher still cut 368 00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:49,359 Speaker 1: up me? Because I don't want to ask nobody if 369 00:20:49,359 --> 00:20:50,920 Speaker 1: that's still not what they do. And I talked about 370 00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:55,080 Speaker 1: that on my show The smallest things. You know, that 371 00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:58,639 Speaker 1: that you took for granted that seemed very you know, 372 00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:04,480 Speaker 1: easy and simple to do. You found yourself overwhelmed at 373 00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:07,399 Speaker 1: a lot of a lot of times. So to the 374 00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:12,439 Speaker 1: people that are listening, what would be the advice um 375 00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:14,800 Speaker 1: that you would give, because I don't want them to 376 00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:18,040 Speaker 1: be discouraged, but I want you to I'm glad that 377 00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:19,800 Speaker 1: you pointed out that it's not as easy as you 378 00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:21,800 Speaker 1: think because a lot of this training series, but it's 379 00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:26,880 Speaker 1: about recidivism, keeping people from not going back. And what 380 00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:29,119 Speaker 1: were some of the things that you learned Because you 381 00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:31,720 Speaker 1: all have the temptation when you come home, hey, let 382 00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:33,879 Speaker 1: me get back in the streets. It's much easier to 383 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:36,400 Speaker 1: just let me go back to selling dope, like really 384 00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:38,560 Speaker 1: learning how to go to a job every day and 385 00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:41,560 Speaker 1: learning how do We did so many exercises of learning 386 00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:45,040 Speaker 1: how to pay bills like normal people, you know, robbing 387 00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:48,240 Speaker 1: Peter to pay Paul or remember we would argue about 388 00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:50,680 Speaker 1: not feeling up the gas tank all the way. I 389 00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:52,639 Speaker 1: would say, Spud, don't feel up the gas think all 390 00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:55,800 Speaker 1: the way. Just do it half because you you need 391 00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:57,760 Speaker 1: the rest of that disposable income for the rest of 392 00:21:57,760 --> 00:22:00,000 Speaker 1: the week to do X y Z because you weren't 393 00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:02,080 Speaker 1: used to having the year. You say, there's five thousand 394 00:22:02,119 --> 00:22:04,919 Speaker 1: dollars series all the bills here is this? Is that done? So? 395 00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:09,520 Speaker 1: Even though smallest things. Now that you've been home and 396 00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:11,920 Speaker 1: looking back at all of the stuff, you will give 397 00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:13,879 Speaker 1: me a hard time about about the mental and the 398 00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:17,320 Speaker 1: mental aspect and taking things slow and looking at the 399 00:22:17,359 --> 00:22:20,840 Speaker 1: big broad picture and the long play game. What advice 400 00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:24,199 Speaker 1: would you give somebody now that that sounds just like 401 00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:28,920 Speaker 1: you sounded in two thousands and saying, Oh, all I 402 00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:30,480 Speaker 1: gotta do is just come home and learn how to 403 00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:35,440 Speaker 1: use a smartphone. Seven years, it's been a journey. I've 404 00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:40,440 Speaker 1: been three seven years and as I looked back and 405 00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:45,000 Speaker 1: how far I've came, all I have to give nothing 406 00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:52,600 Speaker 1: but homage to you, my mother, even my baby mom, 407 00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:57,000 Speaker 1: people in my life to support system did I have? 408 00:22:57,119 --> 00:23:00,679 Speaker 1: It is a blessing not a lot of men have 409 00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:06,560 Speaker 1: where I have from inside inside, I had your keeping 410 00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:13,880 Speaker 1: me motivated and positive because preparing for it. They give 411 00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:18,120 Speaker 1: you nothing. When you're eighteen months short. This is fetter prison. 412 00:23:18,119 --> 00:23:20,760 Speaker 1: I don't know about the state. When you're eight team 413 00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:23,680 Speaker 1: in shorts, they take you to a one day course 414 00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:27,280 Speaker 1: and one day course where people come in from the outside. 415 00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:29,320 Speaker 1: They have like about any thirty or forty dudes. And 416 00:23:29,359 --> 00:23:33,879 Speaker 1: the end they give you paper applications and tell you 417 00:23:34,119 --> 00:23:36,560 Speaker 1: make sure you learn this says I'm not dummy already. 418 00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:38,800 Speaker 1: I know I might not have. I had a couple 419 00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:41,960 Speaker 1: of bullstage jobs just to cover up what I was doing, 420 00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:43,600 Speaker 1: so I know how to shut out the advocation. I 421 00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:46,320 Speaker 1: don't read this. And then they tell you the rules 422 00:23:46,359 --> 00:23:48,960 Speaker 1: and don'ts of what your probation is going to do. 423 00:23:49,119 --> 00:23:52,280 Speaker 1: Larn't you work and stay away from the your your 424 00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:55,199 Speaker 1: negative friends. You'll be out over That's how the con 425 00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:58,080 Speaker 1: get you to come home. So they don't compare you 426 00:23:58,119 --> 00:24:00,560 Speaker 1: to Come on now if I'm talking of dudes this 427 00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:03,800 Speaker 1: in prison right now, when you get really you should 428 00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:06,680 Speaker 1: be thinking about this year entire being. Start making a game, man, 429 00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:10,760 Speaker 1: because you whether it's just five teen years trying, you're 430 00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:13,359 Speaker 1: gonna and you got a date, you're coming home. Start 431 00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:17,440 Speaker 1: prepaying this world you leave, you left, it's not the same. 432 00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:20,359 Speaker 1: So you got if you bless the half family, you 433 00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:22,720 Speaker 1: can talk to or talk to dudes on the yard 434 00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:25,400 Speaker 1: that haven't been and came back. What is it. Don't 435 00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:27,600 Speaker 1: let them scare you when they come back into you. 436 00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:29,800 Speaker 1: Man out there, you gotta help a job here. You hustle. 437 00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:31,600 Speaker 1: You ain't gonna survive if you don't get back in 438 00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:34,440 Speaker 1: the game a little bit. You got the devil, because man, 439 00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:37,360 Speaker 1: it's just to what's going on, you know what I mean. 440 00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:42,640 Speaker 1: Learn that you're using debit cards instead of cash mostly 441 00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:47,359 Speaker 1: out of here. Learn start paying attention to getting some 442 00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:50,720 Speaker 1: trades together so you maybe can come home and laying 443 00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:53,280 Speaker 1: a decent job in instead of just what we know 444 00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:56,760 Speaker 1: to with our strength as far as construction or warehouse. 445 00:24:57,000 --> 00:24:59,320 Speaker 1: Because you're gonna get older and the bones ain't gonna 446 00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:01,879 Speaker 1: be ready to be fair to come home and do 447 00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:03,920 Speaker 1: that type of labor when you sitting up and you're 448 00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:10,080 Speaker 1: doing nothing. Prepare yourself mentally for every aspect your relationship, 449 00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:13,800 Speaker 1: your family ties. Don't come on tripping up on your 450 00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:16,600 Speaker 1: girl and what she did when you was gone, because oh, 451 00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:19,879 Speaker 1: they asked him. Do is as stress on you problems 452 00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:23,520 Speaker 1: in your relationship to cause you do something stupid. Because 453 00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:26,399 Speaker 1: I've seen a lot of dudes come back arguing with 454 00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:29,520 Speaker 1: their girls. She called the approbation arswer and apport. Tell 455 00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:31,960 Speaker 1: the probation ARTI he hit them. Now you're back for 456 00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:37,120 Speaker 1: eighteen or two, big violation. Prepare yourself that the world 457 00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:41,040 Speaker 1: is fast, be prepared for it. Don't put fressure on 458 00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:43,840 Speaker 1: yourself to make sure because all that's gonna do with 459 00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:46,880 Speaker 1: that anxiety is going to carry you over to the streets. 460 00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:49,920 Speaker 1: And it's that anxiety compiled with everything you can a 461 00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:53,400 Speaker 1: face well almost emn you drive you praise. I mean, 462 00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:57,320 Speaker 1: remember it's been nights. I laid there literally crying and 463 00:25:57,480 --> 00:26:01,520 Speaker 1: I'm street. Never what I think I connect this man, 464 00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:03,880 Speaker 1: I don't give. I've been behind the gun and I've 465 00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:06,560 Speaker 1: been to be in front of the gun, unread police 466 00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:09,120 Speaker 1: and shot at the police. Out of the game bang 467 00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:13,080 Speaker 1: at the highest double. I'm tough. I'm an alpha mill. 468 00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:16,440 Speaker 1: I can't handle anything. Man. If it wasn't for the 469 00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:19,680 Speaker 1: support just and then I had in and out, especially 470 00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:23,080 Speaker 1: coming home, if it wasn't for the people that are 471 00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:26,560 Speaker 1: named already, as far as you stand in my ear, 472 00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:30,639 Speaker 1: this tell me I remember calling you. You gave me 473 00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:33,520 Speaker 1: your phone that I was already used to. Then you 474 00:26:33,560 --> 00:26:37,480 Speaker 1: brought me another one. I watched another one. This give 475 00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:39,119 Speaker 1: me the other one. I'm give me the other one 476 00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:41,240 Speaker 1: because I know how to work there. This is blank 477 00:26:41,359 --> 00:26:44,000 Speaker 1: and I didn't need irustrated that I didn't even know 478 00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:47,600 Speaker 1: how to tap the phone to make the keyboards. You up, 479 00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:50,000 Speaker 1: I'm talking to you. Many ship ain't working? You would 480 00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:52,400 Speaker 1: it is? Would you listen? Man? You see it ain't work. 481 00:26:52,640 --> 00:26:56,399 Speaker 1: I'm all over the place. Oh what's simple as phone? 482 00:26:57,240 --> 00:26:59,080 Speaker 1: And then when you say it's just tempt the scrap, 483 00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:04,320 Speaker 1: I've been tapsood just count going to the tech and tapestry, 484 00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:08,320 Speaker 1: tap screen and keyboard. Come up? Now ihing dumbs here 485 00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:13,560 Speaker 1: now much and that? And again I'm not realizing this 486 00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:16,800 Speaker 1: is mental. I'm sending dumb like I'm a smart thing. 487 00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:20,440 Speaker 1: He got posted to what to do that I'm spunding blood. 488 00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:23,240 Speaker 1: I don't sputting be. I don't just ship, don't post 489 00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:25,040 Speaker 1: me none of me. Brust this ship off and keep 490 00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:28,560 Speaker 1: on roads. Now you go to a page ship when 491 00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:32,800 Speaker 1: you're getting a thousand dollars after two weeks. And okay, 492 00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:36,720 Speaker 1: I didn't have no pressure on me financially, but I'm 493 00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:39,640 Speaker 1: not gonna be my mind to just live on somebody 494 00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:43,680 Speaker 1: else because I'm a dread winner. And now I gotta 495 00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:47,359 Speaker 1: pay a little car No. Three hundred, I gotta pay phone, 496 00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:50,320 Speaker 1: be a little hunt. I gotta go take here this 497 00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:53,080 Speaker 1: b that I'll take care of that. I got like 498 00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:56,239 Speaker 1: two one now and I hang back to work two 499 00:27:56,280 --> 00:28:00,400 Speaker 1: more weeks and another dum oh, man, just how don't 500 00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:03,880 Speaker 1: I'm how that you live on this. I'm a flying nigger. 501 00:28:03,920 --> 00:28:05,280 Speaker 1: I want to go get dressed. I want to go 502 00:28:05,359 --> 00:28:07,760 Speaker 1: get some Jay's. I'm gonna go and I can't do 503 00:28:07,840 --> 00:28:11,760 Speaker 1: none of that with this, So now depress your financial 504 00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:14,960 Speaker 1: thinking about needs when they're coming back. Man, you gotta 505 00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:17,080 Speaker 1: have a hustle. You can't just you gotta have a 506 00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:20,240 Speaker 1: job in job, just make the drunks keep your pe off. 507 00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:22,600 Speaker 1: You need when you get off you go to dabl 508 00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:28,240 Speaker 1: in that thing. Now I'm instantly I'm thinking, nah, and 509 00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:32,640 Speaker 1: the first time got me see serious time that they 510 00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:36,119 Speaker 1: met there. So I'm using that to come back with 511 00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:40,160 Speaker 1: that force within their forces. Every time that paycheck comes, 512 00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:45,000 Speaker 1: that forces pushing back, like Iede to call called Poppy, 513 00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:49,760 Speaker 1: get it popplit again. I can't do that, they sundays. 514 00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:52,400 Speaker 1: I'm making a call then as I need to call 515 00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:56,880 Speaker 1: my give never mind, man, I'm it's your battle. It's 516 00:28:56,880 --> 00:29:00,720 Speaker 1: about it. And like I said, it's all many. I 517 00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:04,280 Speaker 1: got you in my ear. Uh no, you don't. You 518 00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:07,440 Speaker 1: better stay there, go get alone, Go get up a 519 00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:09,360 Speaker 1: week day. Ain't only if you have to to take 520 00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:12,959 Speaker 1: you have to make you comforable every instant. Don't buy 521 00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:16,480 Speaker 1: know the traditional I should need it. We had a 522 00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:23,040 Speaker 1: major I had a major fall out over this. I said, Lit, Damn, 523 00:29:23,080 --> 00:29:25,360 Speaker 1: it is just a dollar. That dollar can go a 524 00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:30,760 Speaker 1: long way. And I'm battling you. You're showing me how 525 00:29:30,920 --> 00:29:36,760 Speaker 1: to live and maintained. But I don't mean me being me. 526 00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:38,960 Speaker 1: I don't want to just give the maintenance on a 527 00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:42,080 Speaker 1: prosper but I want it, Damn, I don't want to 528 00:29:42,520 --> 00:29:44,960 Speaker 1: work for it. I'm not used to working for I've 529 00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:48,000 Speaker 1: been blessed everything in my life, even in the dope game. 530 00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:50,560 Speaker 1: I didn't even come into the dope game at a 531 00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:52,800 Speaker 1: small level. I came in that ship right at the level. 532 00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:55,640 Speaker 1: I didn't wait because of my Ji ho me, my 533 00:29:55,720 --> 00:30:00,400 Speaker 1: brother rescue Pe. So everything's been given him. So I'm void. 534 00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:06,000 Speaker 1: Mom Um mom seems to money man, bask to me home. 535 00:30:06,280 --> 00:30:10,200 Speaker 1: So I'm doing with every king. But it's all passion 536 00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:13,800 Speaker 1: on in my brain, just my literally my brain is 537 00:30:13,840 --> 00:30:16,600 Speaker 1: just peep point people. I mean working what I gotta do, 538 00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:20,200 Speaker 1: and I'm still diving in my savings on get to 539 00:30:20,280 --> 00:30:23,000 Speaker 1: that computer, get my peace when I closing that time. 540 00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:27,400 Speaker 1: Now it's back to okay. But to support the support 541 00:30:27,440 --> 00:30:30,560 Speaker 1: I have and all again on me and won't be 542 00:30:30,600 --> 00:30:33,719 Speaker 1: blessed to have a support system like I did. So 543 00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:39,760 Speaker 1: we're talking to you in prison two compency for the 544 00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:43,320 Speaker 1: lack of support. Prepare yourself and and to and to 545 00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:45,640 Speaker 1: be okay to ask questions. One of the things I 546 00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:47,800 Speaker 1: would say all the time. Stop saying I'm dumb. I 547 00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:49,840 Speaker 1: don't get it what I used to explaining policies. I 548 00:30:49,920 --> 00:30:51,400 Speaker 1: was playing this yesterday some on the phone and I 549 00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:54,120 Speaker 1: said I'll use a lot of analogies, and I remember 550 00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:55,640 Speaker 1: that use up set you a lot. You would say, 551 00:30:55,640 --> 00:30:57,160 Speaker 1: you don't have to use analogy to explain into it. 552 00:30:57,280 --> 00:30:59,800 Speaker 1: I was like, I'm not using analogies because I'm thinking 553 00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:02,840 Speaker 1: you dumb. I'm using it because as an adult learner, 554 00:31:02,920 --> 00:31:06,560 Speaker 1: we learned easily with analogies because we can see ourselves, 555 00:31:06,640 --> 00:31:09,000 Speaker 1: you know, and with the concept that I'm trying to explain. 556 00:31:09,560 --> 00:31:12,720 Speaker 1: So for those who support people, it requires a lot 557 00:31:12,840 --> 00:31:15,800 Speaker 1: of patience to deal with somebody in and when they 558 00:31:15,880 --> 00:31:18,240 Speaker 1: come out. But what I would say to the president 559 00:31:18,280 --> 00:31:25,040 Speaker 1: sisters listening to be humble enough to um ask for 560 00:31:25,040 --> 00:31:30,120 Speaker 1: forgiveness when you sunk up, Like that's really important, UM. 561 00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:32,440 Speaker 1: To be willing to ask for forgiven, to be willing 562 00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:34,400 Speaker 1: to understand that there's a lot of stuff in your 563 00:31:34,400 --> 00:31:37,240 Speaker 1: mind that you have to go back and untangle and 564 00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:40,440 Speaker 1: understand why you did the things you did to learn behavior. 565 00:31:40,480 --> 00:31:42,840 Speaker 1: Like when we fell out over the dish dishwashing liquid, 566 00:31:43,080 --> 00:31:44,560 Speaker 1: it wasn't about you didn't get it. He was like, 567 00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:47,000 Speaker 1: I don't understand. It's just a dollar dishwashing liquid. Damn, 568 00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:48,800 Speaker 1: you're going cray. And I was like, Spud, you're not 569 00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:52,040 Speaker 1: getting it. But it's to learn behavior feeling like if 570 00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:54,680 Speaker 1: I want it, I get it. You didn't need it. 571 00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:58,720 Speaker 1: You didn't need dishwashing liquid and dishwashing detergent for the 572 00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:02,680 Speaker 1: dishwashing one or the other. The idea of I wanted, 573 00:32:02,720 --> 00:32:04,160 Speaker 1: I get it, I get it, I cop it. If 574 00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:05,520 Speaker 1: I want that, I get it. If I do this, 575 00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:09,400 Speaker 1: I get is that mentality of not understanding that everything 576 00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:14,320 Speaker 1: you want, everything you desire, you cannot get all the time. 577 00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:16,280 Speaker 1: And you may get everything you want in life, but 578 00:32:16,320 --> 00:32:18,560 Speaker 1: it may not all be at the same time. There 579 00:32:18,560 --> 00:32:21,640 Speaker 1: may be seasons of time was where you have everything 580 00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:24,000 Speaker 1: at the highest level. There'll be seasons where you don't 581 00:32:24,040 --> 00:32:26,760 Speaker 1: have everything. But when you look back on your life, 582 00:32:27,120 --> 00:32:30,280 Speaker 1: you can say I literally had it all, not all 583 00:32:30,320 --> 00:32:33,040 Speaker 1: at the same time, but I had it all. And 584 00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:37,120 Speaker 1: so it's the patience, uh that I hope that people 585 00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:39,560 Speaker 1: understand that you need and I wanted to share that store, 586 00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:41,760 Speaker 1: not as a way to scare people, but to give 587 00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:44,959 Speaker 1: them the reality of it does require work when you 588 00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:48,600 Speaker 1: get home. It is not as easy as you think. Um. 589 00:32:49,480 --> 00:32:52,000 Speaker 1: And but I remember Louis and because he was very 590 00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:54,560 Speaker 1: positive when he said he said, but he he always 591 00:32:54,560 --> 00:32:58,560 Speaker 1: remembered that his worst day free was better than his 592 00:32:58,640 --> 00:33:03,840 Speaker 1: best day locked up, right right, And I thought, that's 593 00:33:03,840 --> 00:33:07,920 Speaker 1: the real thing. Hey, your bad day out there, uh 594 00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:11,080 Speaker 1: and nothing compared to your best in prison. You know 595 00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:13,200 Speaker 1: what I mean. That's a real spill right there. And 596 00:33:13,240 --> 00:33:17,280 Speaker 1: it's like like you say, talking to the people it's 597 00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:21,240 Speaker 1: sitting in coarcerating. I'm not trying to scare you, because 598 00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:23,360 Speaker 1: it can be done. And like I said, if you 599 00:33:23,440 --> 00:33:26,880 Speaker 1: don't have the support system, ask questions to people. Just 600 00:33:26,920 --> 00:33:30,200 Speaker 1: came back, ask pressions to anybody that you would can 601 00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:33,959 Speaker 1: communicate you and outside how the job market it is? 602 00:33:34,320 --> 00:33:38,120 Speaker 1: What is this? Because I can prepare you, I can 603 00:33:38,200 --> 00:33:41,720 Speaker 1: tell you everything you need and I'm not trying to 604 00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:44,440 Speaker 1: spook you. If anything, let it be motivation because I 605 00:33:44,480 --> 00:33:47,040 Speaker 1: did it. Seven years later, at the fifteen years of 606 00:33:47,080 --> 00:33:49,880 Speaker 1: that month, I'm still here, sixteen books in my game. 607 00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:52,719 Speaker 1: I mean, I worked at it and I learned and 608 00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:55,560 Speaker 1: stare for real, I'm still a working price. I ain't 609 00:33:55,560 --> 00:33:58,800 Speaker 1: know all the way over, I'm still something every other day. 610 00:33:59,480 --> 00:34:03,479 Speaker 1: You're still work. But you come so so far. And 611 00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:16,680 Speaker 1: I and I think accountability matters too, you know. I 612 00:34:16,760 --> 00:34:18,760 Speaker 1: was going back and forth with somebody on my Instagram 613 00:34:18,760 --> 00:34:21,000 Speaker 1: this week and he's talking about he did time and 614 00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:23,000 Speaker 1: he violated. He said, the older brothers don't want to 615 00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:24,880 Speaker 1: hear that. When you locked up they I tried to 616 00:34:24,880 --> 00:34:26,160 Speaker 1: tell them, they don't want to hear they need to 617 00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:28,399 Speaker 1: take accountability for their crime and not blame the crime. 618 00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:31,640 Speaker 1: And and this is where he was missing. For one 619 00:34:31,680 --> 00:34:33,359 Speaker 1: thing you have always done and I used you as 620 00:34:33,360 --> 00:34:38,080 Speaker 1: an example. There were levels of your accountability. First, you 621 00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:40,520 Speaker 1: took accountability and snitch on nobody said hey, this is 622 00:34:40,560 --> 00:34:42,440 Speaker 1: my time. It is what it is. I gotta do 623 00:34:42,520 --> 00:34:45,200 Speaker 1: my time. Then there was a phase of blaming other 624 00:34:45,239 --> 00:34:47,239 Speaker 1: people for telling and they should have did this and that. 625 00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:51,400 Speaker 1: Then there became a point where you were taking total accountability. 626 00:34:51,640 --> 00:34:54,759 Speaker 1: It's all on you. And then I came in and 627 00:34:54,840 --> 00:34:58,520 Speaker 1: explained it's also a system that made it easier for 628 00:34:58,600 --> 00:35:01,440 Speaker 1: you to do it, not blaming it totally completely on 629 00:35:01,520 --> 00:35:05,759 Speaker 1: the system, but understanding the intricacies around that, because I 630 00:35:05,800 --> 00:35:07,400 Speaker 1: had to do that in order to get you to 631 00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:11,719 Speaker 1: understand how powerful your voice can be in changing the system. 632 00:35:11,760 --> 00:35:16,239 Speaker 1: Because initially it was fun. The government, the politician, they lie, 633 00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:18,000 Speaker 1: they this, they'd add, it ain't gonna never be a difference, 634 00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:20,080 Speaker 1: gonna never be a change, which all those things can 635 00:35:20,120 --> 00:35:22,960 Speaker 1: be true. But I wanted you to see how the 636 00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:25,880 Speaker 1: system was designed and set up so that you can 637 00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:29,040 Speaker 1: see how you got played like a pond before the 638 00:35:29,080 --> 00:35:32,120 Speaker 1: conspiracy ever happened, before you met who you met before 639 00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:34,799 Speaker 1: the game, like what even started the game. And it 640 00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:38,520 Speaker 1: doesn't mean to not take accountability. It means that we 641 00:35:38,600 --> 00:35:41,960 Speaker 1: have to continue to educate each other on where if 642 00:35:41,960 --> 00:35:44,040 Speaker 1: nobody has a hundred percent of the blame, but how 643 00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:46,600 Speaker 1: do we evenly put out that blame and how do 644 00:35:46,680 --> 00:35:48,880 Speaker 1: we correct it and have enough patience and love for 645 00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:51,400 Speaker 1: each other until we get a chance to see it. 646 00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:53,480 Speaker 1: And this job ain't for Everybody's really not. Like when 647 00:35:53,480 --> 00:35:54,680 Speaker 1: you said, well, they don't want to hear me and 648 00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:57,520 Speaker 1: they want I said, well, look at your attitude. You 649 00:35:57,520 --> 00:36:00,000 Speaker 1: you violated and you're looking down on them, the nervous 650 00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:02,560 Speaker 1: you to look down on them when you came home, 651 00:36:02,880 --> 00:36:05,239 Speaker 1: and by related too, because they didn't catch up as 652 00:36:05,280 --> 00:36:08,279 Speaker 1: fast as you caught up. Now you're looking down at them. 653 00:36:08,280 --> 00:36:09,759 Speaker 1: Everybody will tell you that all the time, you'd be like, 654 00:36:09,760 --> 00:36:11,759 Speaker 1: oh this nick and I'll say sputs I'm saying I 655 00:36:11,840 --> 00:36:14,279 Speaker 1: remember it was one time when you didn't understand this 656 00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:16,440 Speaker 1: or that, and you will still some stuff you had 657 00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:19,279 Speaker 1: to learn. That don't mean you're done. It means people 658 00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:22,400 Speaker 1: got to learn in their own time. So had the 659 00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:24,960 Speaker 1: brothers not been supportive of you to say, Spud, you 660 00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:27,680 Speaker 1: can do this with your books, submit your manuscript. I 661 00:36:27,760 --> 00:36:30,520 Speaker 1: believe that it's more in you, then you wouldn't be 662 00:36:30,520 --> 00:36:32,080 Speaker 1: in the position that you're in now. I had your 663 00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:35,000 Speaker 1: support system, I say, I believe that it's more to you, 664 00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:37,000 Speaker 1: you wouldn't be in a position you're in now. Had 665 00:36:37,040 --> 00:36:38,600 Speaker 1: I listened to you when you said, I don't know 666 00:36:38,600 --> 00:36:40,480 Speaker 1: why you take time trying to help these people. You're 667 00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:42,560 Speaker 1: not gonna never get nothing back, you wouldn't be in 668 00:36:42,560 --> 00:36:45,680 Speaker 1: a position that you're in now. And so all of 669 00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:48,759 Speaker 1: us have to at some point remove ourselves out of 670 00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:51,600 Speaker 1: the equation, which is very hard to do for the 671 00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:55,160 Speaker 1: anti social personality, the criminal, because it is about self, 672 00:36:55,200 --> 00:36:58,800 Speaker 1: it's very self driven. But if you just remove yourself 673 00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:01,560 Speaker 1: at the equation just a little a bit, then you 674 00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:04,640 Speaker 1: can find some peace as you manage. Life is hard. 675 00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:05,920 Speaker 1: I'll tell you all the time. You like, man, this 676 00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:07,239 Speaker 1: is hard, Like this is what we've been doing for 677 00:37:07,239 --> 00:37:09,680 Speaker 1: the last twenty something year. Regular folks been doing this 678 00:37:09,760 --> 00:37:11,600 Speaker 1: when you would say, damn, every time I go forward, 679 00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:14,919 Speaker 1: I go backwards. That's what regular life is. Baby. Ain't 680 00:37:14,920 --> 00:37:17,480 Speaker 1: no different than that. This is what we've been doing. 681 00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:24,920 Speaker 1: It's normal to do that. That's normal. So I commend 682 00:37:24,960 --> 00:37:27,120 Speaker 1: you on how far and I know we gotta wrap up, 683 00:37:27,960 --> 00:37:29,360 Speaker 1: and that's so much more I want to talk to 684 00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:33,080 Speaker 1: you about. But I commend you on just staying down 685 00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:35,719 Speaker 1: and shout out to me for staying down. Ship. I 686 00:37:35,719 --> 00:37:39,200 Speaker 1: commend myself. You have not been easy. It's gonna say 687 00:37:39,239 --> 00:37:42,319 Speaker 1: that this has not been easy, but no, but but 688 00:37:42,440 --> 00:37:44,800 Speaker 1: shout out to you for just staying down and staying 689 00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:47,279 Speaker 1: in the game and not giving up. There's a lot more, 690 00:37:47,400 --> 00:37:48,960 Speaker 1: you know, I want to talk about with your story 691 00:37:48,960 --> 00:37:53,239 Speaker 1: that we did not talk about today. Um, but I 692 00:37:53,280 --> 00:37:57,360 Speaker 1: just I commend you. I respect you. You have opened 693 00:37:57,440 --> 00:38:00,080 Speaker 1: up not just what I've been able to show you, 694 00:38:00,200 --> 00:38:02,160 Speaker 1: and I appreciate you always paying how much of that, 695 00:38:02,680 --> 00:38:08,160 Speaker 1: But I you have certainly shown me another viewpoint of 696 00:38:08,200 --> 00:38:11,600 Speaker 1: what it is to be behind the wall and encourage 697 00:38:11,719 --> 00:38:14,840 Speaker 1: and encourage me, you know, to keep doing what I 698 00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:19,640 Speaker 1: can do in this space. And it doesn't mean, give 699 00:38:19,719 --> 00:38:24,600 Speaker 1: you excuses or I'm I'm hard on you. And that's 700 00:38:24,600 --> 00:38:26,480 Speaker 1: why my brother said today, all they gotta take count 701 00:38:26,480 --> 00:38:28,359 Speaker 1: the bill. You don't know what you're talking about. I'm 702 00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:30,359 Speaker 1: hard on you because I see the best in you. 703 00:38:31,120 --> 00:38:32,880 Speaker 1: But at the same time, I've had to learn a 704 00:38:32,960 --> 00:38:35,160 Speaker 1: level of patients that I didn't have to learn before, 705 00:38:35,200 --> 00:38:37,360 Speaker 1: a level of grace that I didn't have to learn before. 706 00:38:38,200 --> 00:38:42,560 Speaker 1: And I've had to sell boundaries too. You know, we're saying, hey, 707 00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:45,520 Speaker 1: s hey, this is my boundary. I can't go no 708 00:38:45,600 --> 00:38:48,640 Speaker 1: further than this because you're driving me crazy. And it 709 00:38:48,719 --> 00:38:51,319 Speaker 1: took you time to even respect that to say, Okay, 710 00:38:51,360 --> 00:38:53,239 Speaker 1: I I feel you on that, that's your boundary. I 711 00:38:53,280 --> 00:38:58,799 Speaker 1: gotta you aligned, pusher, you are habitual boundaries overstepper, but 712 00:38:58,960 --> 00:39:02,000 Speaker 1: even you, even you have had to learn, Hey, this 713 00:39:02,120 --> 00:39:05,640 Speaker 1: is her boundary, and I gotta respect that in order 714 00:39:05,640 --> 00:39:07,600 Speaker 1: if I want to keep this person, you know and 715 00:39:07,600 --> 00:39:10,360 Speaker 1: in this friend in my life. So I I commend 716 00:39:10,400 --> 00:39:12,400 Speaker 1: you for that, squad, and I just think you have 717 00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:15,359 Speaker 1: so many stories and you to tell before we wrap up. 718 00:39:16,160 --> 00:39:19,279 Speaker 1: You've done for the listeners. Um you're now you know, 719 00:39:19,360 --> 00:39:23,280 Speaker 1: speaking at colleges and with kids, and you know, sharing 720 00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:26,160 Speaker 1: your story and talking about what it means to be 721 00:39:26,239 --> 00:39:29,720 Speaker 1: in this in this life since eight years old, UM, 722 00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:32,520 Speaker 1: and it truly has an impact on every facet of 723 00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:35,360 Speaker 1: your life. Your transparency, what you've been through, your courage 724 00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:40,400 Speaker 1: or strength, your weaknesses, all of those things. UM is 725 00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:43,080 Speaker 1: to be admired and it certainly helps me. UM have 726 00:39:43,160 --> 00:39:45,719 Speaker 1: the ability to help somebody else. And so I hope 727 00:39:45,760 --> 00:39:48,920 Speaker 1: they found this episode helpful. UM. Before we get out 728 00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:51,480 Speaker 1: of here, I'm gonna I'm gonna, I said my piece 729 00:39:51,800 --> 00:39:54,800 Speaker 1: if you can give a couple of closing thoughts before 730 00:39:54,840 --> 00:39:58,359 Speaker 1: we wrap this episode up. Again, I appreciate you put 731 00:39:58,440 --> 00:40:03,320 Speaker 1: me on the show, and truly do feel grateful for 732 00:40:03,520 --> 00:40:08,920 Speaker 1: your patients. I pushed you, you know lyne pushing hard, 733 00:40:09,280 --> 00:40:11,880 Speaker 1: but yet you were strong enough to dig with you 734 00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:14,719 Speaker 1: know now, and I'm truly grateful you having your friends 735 00:40:14,760 --> 00:40:19,240 Speaker 1: in my life. And just to the people who are listening, 736 00:40:19,800 --> 00:40:24,359 Speaker 1: whether they're friends who have family and incarcerated, don't give up. 737 00:40:25,520 --> 00:40:27,879 Speaker 1: Just if you you stand down with him, stay down 738 00:40:27,880 --> 00:40:31,560 Speaker 1: with him, and had that patience so they can hopefully 739 00:40:31,600 --> 00:40:34,600 Speaker 1: be successful. Stay out of president. I mean, my goal 740 00:40:34,760 --> 00:40:38,520 Speaker 1: is to teach the young, but if the old learned too. 741 00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:42,360 Speaker 1: Then that's what's up. Mom. Geared my focus to the 742 00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:46,560 Speaker 1: young kids and juvenile halls and detention centers, trying to 743 00:40:46,560 --> 00:40:50,319 Speaker 1: help them realize that they can be whatever they want 744 00:40:50,320 --> 00:40:52,239 Speaker 1: to be. And then coach and I just say this 745 00:40:52,440 --> 00:40:55,080 Speaker 1: last thing that I like to tell the kids when 746 00:40:55,080 --> 00:40:57,880 Speaker 1: I talk and I'm looking at them, hanging onto my 747 00:40:57,960 --> 00:41:01,560 Speaker 1: every word, just captivated by uh, the stories that I'm 748 00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:03,920 Speaker 1: telling about my life and then where I'm in and 749 00:41:03,960 --> 00:41:07,200 Speaker 1: now as far as being the best selling or and 750 00:41:07,239 --> 00:41:09,680 Speaker 1: that's I look at him and I said, I've been 751 00:41:09,719 --> 00:41:13,840 Speaker 1: in plenty funerals in life, a whole lot, and I 752 00:41:13,880 --> 00:41:17,719 Speaker 1: should always look at the family and look at my 753 00:41:17,800 --> 00:41:22,840 Speaker 1: homeboy who were being who really wasn't even like that, 754 00:41:23,880 --> 00:41:27,439 Speaker 1: wasn't worses me and he's laying there dead. I should 755 00:41:27,440 --> 00:41:31,399 Speaker 1: always ask God, why am I not in there? Why 756 00:41:31,400 --> 00:41:34,320 Speaker 1: am I not dead? And like I've told you before, 757 00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:37,200 Speaker 1: a long time, my time ago, I expected he's gonna 758 00:41:37,239 --> 00:41:41,160 Speaker 1: be imprisoned or be dead either or which every one 759 00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:44,279 Speaker 1: happened gonna happen immediately pre paid for that, and it's 760 00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:47,680 Speaker 1: just so crazy. And then when I talked to the 761 00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:51,000 Speaker 1: kids and see him holding on my every word, it's 762 00:41:51,040 --> 00:41:53,279 Speaker 1: like I get a goose bumps and cheers off of 763 00:41:53,400 --> 00:41:56,440 Speaker 1: my body because they are listening. And then I hit 764 00:41:56,520 --> 00:41:59,120 Speaker 1: him with the posts saying, now I realize why God 765 00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:02,560 Speaker 1: didn't take me, why God didn't aid me, that he 766 00:42:02,719 --> 00:42:05,560 Speaker 1: brought me here to be it for youth to learn 767 00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:09,920 Speaker 1: from me, learn from my crazy life. And you can 768 00:42:09,960 --> 00:42:12,920 Speaker 1: almost see the kids almost trying. And it gives me 769 00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:17,320 Speaker 1: so much pleasure. That closing statement, it's the perfect cherry 770 00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:20,920 Speaker 1: on top of it. But that was split so learned, 771 00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:25,439 Speaker 1: be patient. It's all good state timtoes down, as we said, 772 00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:28,000 Speaker 1: ingle wood, and if you ever need to hill at me, 773 00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:32,160 Speaker 1: you hit me up on my website w W doctor 774 00:42:32,440 --> 00:42:35,960 Speaker 1: spud Johnson dot com. I'll be here for tapping in. 775 00:42:36,040 --> 00:42:38,640 Speaker 1: How let you go? Well, thank you so much for 776 00:42:38,680 --> 00:42:42,600 Speaker 1: having this. It's such a I'm just smiling because, um, 777 00:42:43,160 --> 00:42:46,480 Speaker 1: seeing you talk to children, knowing when I first came 778 00:42:46,520 --> 00:42:49,040 Speaker 1: to see you after we reconnected with being lost for 779 00:42:49,080 --> 00:42:50,520 Speaker 1: a while and you said, I don't know why you 780 00:42:50,560 --> 00:42:53,239 Speaker 1: waste time doing it, And to see you doing it now, 781 00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:55,879 Speaker 1: it ain't no better way to waste your time than 782 00:42:55,960 --> 00:42:58,160 Speaker 1: to pour into somebody else. That's the best way you 783 00:42:58,160 --> 00:43:00,920 Speaker 1: can do time. And That's what this reas is all about. 784 00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:03,840 Speaker 1: How you do your time, whether you are encouraging someone 785 00:43:04,239 --> 00:43:07,400 Speaker 1: on the yard, whether when you get home, whether you 786 00:43:07,520 --> 00:43:10,560 Speaker 1: are passing up paying forward as they say, with helping 787 00:43:10,560 --> 00:43:13,279 Speaker 1: somebody else, be at a child or someone else. The 788 00:43:13,320 --> 00:43:16,120 Speaker 1: best way you can do your time while you're doing 789 00:43:16,200 --> 00:43:19,560 Speaker 1: time on this earth, uh, is to really pay it forward. 790 00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:21,759 Speaker 1: In fact, the name of this entire program that we 791 00:43:21,960 --> 00:43:25,720 Speaker 1: um created with the George Floyd Foundation was called Reclaiming 792 00:43:25,760 --> 00:43:28,000 Speaker 1: Your Time. And I got it from Maxine Waterson. She 793 00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:30,640 Speaker 1: kept saying, I'm reclaiming my time. I said, what about 794 00:43:31,040 --> 00:43:33,399 Speaker 1: people that lost time due to prison? How can they 795 00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:35,640 Speaker 1: reclaim that? How can they get that back? How do 796 00:43:35,719 --> 00:43:37,920 Speaker 1: you get that back and turn it into something positive? 797 00:43:37,920 --> 00:43:39,480 Speaker 1: And it was just like how you and I met 798 00:43:39,680 --> 00:43:41,480 Speaker 1: when you said I'm gonna give you this money to 799 00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:44,160 Speaker 1: go start your life and do something good with this money. Well, 800 00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:46,719 Speaker 1: now it's not about the money that you have to give. 801 00:43:46,840 --> 00:43:49,160 Speaker 1: It's about your story. And that is so much more 802 00:43:49,239 --> 00:43:51,880 Speaker 1: valuable than money could ever be, because those are the 803 00:43:51,920 --> 00:43:54,640 Speaker 1: things that I'm gonna remember once were all dead and gone, 804 00:43:54,640 --> 00:43:56,400 Speaker 1: and the story passes on to the next one and 805 00:43:56,440 --> 00:43:58,320 Speaker 1: to the next one. So for those who are listening, 806 00:43:58,520 --> 00:44:02,600 Speaker 1: I hope you found uh this story inspiring, encouraging and 807 00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:05,640 Speaker 1: challenging you to do better. Two things can be done 808 00:44:05,680 --> 00:44:07,640 Speaker 1: at the same time. You can love somebody, you can 809 00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:09,920 Speaker 1: also challenge them to do better. And we at the 810 00:44:09,920 --> 00:44:12,440 Speaker 1: George Boy Foundation love you enough to make sure that 811 00:44:12,520 --> 00:44:15,400 Speaker 1: you got this content. Thank you so much, Clipord spud Johnson. 812 00:44:15,440 --> 00:44:19,840 Speaker 1: You can visit him at www dot Clifford spud Johnson 813 00:44:20,040 --> 00:44:22,480 Speaker 1: dot com check out one of his books. If you 814 00:44:22,520 --> 00:44:26,160 Speaker 1: can do me a favor as one of your family 815 00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:28,440 Speaker 1: members to order one of his books, you can go 816 00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:31,800 Speaker 1: on his website. They're available in Walmart, Barnes, and Noble. 817 00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:35,160 Speaker 1: Any major retailer has My Boys books, or you can 818 00:44:35,200 --> 00:44:38,799 Speaker 1: go online and get it on Amazon. Pick one that 819 00:44:39,080 --> 00:44:41,640 Speaker 1: works for you, uh, and and do me a favor 820 00:44:41,719 --> 00:44:44,640 Speaker 1: support this brother, because that truly is my dream come true, 821 00:44:44,680 --> 00:44:46,720 Speaker 1: was to get his books on all of the federal 822 00:44:46,760 --> 00:44:50,480 Speaker 1: penitentiary shelves. But that is truly how you can support 823 00:44:50,680 --> 00:44:52,920 Speaker 1: and get one of those books, and certainly reach out 824 00:44:52,920 --> 00:44:54,760 Speaker 1: to him and let me know if you found it helpful. 825 00:44:54,800 --> 00:44:56,520 Speaker 1: So thank you so much for joining us. You're listening 826 00:44:56,520 --> 00:44:58,600 Speaker 1: to straight Shot No Chase with Tesla figure Out Peace. 827 00:44:59,200 --> 00:45:01,880 Speaker 1: If you what you heard on straight Shot No Chaser, 828 00:45:01,920 --> 00:45:04,439 Speaker 1: please subscribe and drop a five star review and tell 829 00:45:04,480 --> 00:45:06,799 Speaker 1: a France. Straight Shot No Chaser is a production of 830 00:45:06,840 --> 00:45:09,440 Speaker 1: The Black Effect Podcast Network and I Heart Radio, a 831 00:45:09,560 --> 00:45:11,239 Speaker 1: Tesla and figure Out and I'd like to thank our 832 00:45:11,239 --> 00:45:16,080 Speaker 1: producer editor Mixer Dwayne Crawford and our executive producer Charleteage Nagod. 833 00:45:16,160 --> 00:45:18,960 Speaker 1: For more podcast from I Heart Radio, visit the I 834 00:45:19,120 --> 00:45:22,879 Speaker 1: heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.