Speaker 1: Good.
Speaker 2: All right, break it down.
Speaker 1: If you ever have feelings that you just wont Amy
Speaker 1: and Cat gotcha, Cob and Locking No, brother, ladies and folks,
Speaker 1: do you just follow Ann the spirit where it's all
Speaker 1: the real stuff to the chill stuff and the m
Speaker 1: but Swayne, sometimes the best thing you can do it
Speaker 1: just stop you feel things. This is feeling things with
Speaker 1: Amy and Cat.
Speaker 2: Happy Tuesday. Welcome to feeling things. I'm Amy and I'm Cat,
Speaker 2: and we both have feelings of the day, and I
Speaker 2: can see in our doc they're very different. I have
Speaker 2: no idea why you're feeling disgusted, but I'm feeling eager.
Speaker 2: You go first.
Speaker 1: I want your feeling today, you.
Speaker 2: Know I want to feel eager.
Speaker 1: Actually, here you go. I'm gonna twist this frown upside down.
Speaker 1: I'm feeling disgusted because a couple of days ago I
Speaker 1: awoke with what looks to be and you can give
Speaker 1: your feedback on this, but it looks like I have
Speaker 1: a rash on my face. I'm diagnosing myself with dermatitis,
Speaker 1: which from my friend who's an esthetician, is what I've
Speaker 1: gathered is just kind of like an infection of the skin.
Speaker 1: But it can't be that.
Speaker 2: Actually, because isn't it hormononal? Yeah? Yeah, I've had dermatitis
Speaker 2: on my back before. I don't know if that's exactly
Speaker 2: what it was called, but I had little teeny tiny
Speaker 2: bombs like that are on your face and I had
Speaker 2: on my back and I use that. Golly, what was
Speaker 2: I got it at? You know, CBS or Walgreens, crapefruit scrub? No, no,
Speaker 2: no packs. So I got a Google pack. I know
Speaker 2: what you're saying, Packsaw, it's the X with X right.
Speaker 2: Maybe it cleared my back. I mean I was living
Speaker 2: with the bumps for a while and then I got
Speaker 2: a bar of soap of the This what I'm going
Speaker 2: to google so I'll be able to tell you what
Speaker 2: it's called. And it cleared right up.
Speaker 1: Wait, I wonder if I could use it on my face.
Speaker 2: I mean maybe you could. My dermatologist told me that
Speaker 2: you can use Dan Driff shampoo on your face, but
Speaker 2: I don't know if that applies for hormonal bumps.
Speaker 1: So I'm taking a new medication that I know. That's
Speaker 1: why I don't know, but that's why I'm assuming it's
Speaker 1: the only thing that has changed. And I'm just disgusted
Speaker 1: because I'm frustrated.
Speaker 2: Oh.
Speaker 1: I think I'm more frustrated than disgusted, because I'm not
Speaker 1: like ooh, I mean I am kind of I don't
Speaker 1: like it.
Speaker 2: Oh, okay, pan ox, panox soal.
Speaker 1: What is paxl. That's a drug, paxels so much pharmaceutical drug.
Speaker 2: There's the There's lots of different panox sole products. I
Speaker 2: used the bar of soap, probably because that's familiar to me,
Speaker 2: because I love a bar of soap. I love a
Speaker 2: white bar of soap, unscented. This one maybe has a
Speaker 2: scynth though, because it has a job to do. They
Speaker 2: also have a acne banishing body spray. Just get some
Speaker 2: of that sprayed on your face.
Speaker 1: I don't know anything is gonna fix it unless I
Speaker 1: just like, stop taking the medication. But I can't stop
Speaker 1: taking this medication.
Speaker 2: And so well, what we do know is this is temporary. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and while you are feeling disgusted, you don't look just
Speaker 2: in them lighting. Yeah, we do have dim lighting. Cat
Speaker 2: used my guest bath and she came out and she
Speaker 2: was like, whatever kind of lighting you have in the bathroom,
Speaker 2: that's what I need in my office because I don't
Speaker 2: think I'm going to be able to sit across from
Speaker 2: from clients because they're gonna think I have some disease.
Speaker 1: It's pretty bad.
Speaker 2: But how close are you sitting to your client?
Speaker 1: Not that close? And I think that's also I think
Speaker 1: it's pretty bad because it's giving me like flashbacks of
Speaker 1: when I had like acne in high school and I
Speaker 1: had to take acutane, you know, and you like think
Speaker 1: you've recovered from this. And I really like just wearing
Speaker 1: tinted sunscreen. I don't like wearing foundation and stuff like that.
Speaker 2: I feel like, if honestly, can I be really honest here, yes,
Speaker 2: if you were to put foundation through the bad it
Speaker 2: would look so bad. It looks like it's bumpy, like
Speaker 2: it would look like what are you trying to cover it?
Speaker 2: Just doesn't like, just let it breathe. And also, since
Speaker 2: we're being honest, it's not as bad as you think
Speaker 2: it is. But don't try to over make up it,
Speaker 2: because I think that's that's never doing fairs.
Speaker 1: So Patrick, you saying that, thank you? Pause, pause, pause,
Speaker 1: because Patrick keeps being like, it's really not that bad
Speaker 1: or like to the point where I'm like, Patrick, I
Speaker 1: know you're lying to me. You're just He's like I
Speaker 1: don't even see it like that far where.
Speaker 2: I'm like, he might be telling truth because he's got
Speaker 2: ma goggles. He doesn't see what we see.
Speaker 1: Well, that's true, but I said, you can't just lie
Speaker 1: to me anymore. You have to think of something else
Speaker 1: to say when I'm like frustrated and like complaining about it,
Speaker 1: because sometimes I just look the vent. So now he says,
Speaker 1: when I'm like, oh, my face is so bad, he
Speaker 1: just goes, I love you. It's nothing else to say.
Speaker 2: I am acknowledging that your face feels and looks bad
Speaker 2: to you, which I think I get where guys are
Speaker 2: coming from. Like there's times where I have stuff going
Speaker 2: on with my face and my boyfriend doesn't notice it.
Speaker 2: I think he's tell the truth. And I'm telling you
Speaker 2: as your friend because I also know that I would
Speaker 2: notice what's going on your face, Like I don't want
Speaker 2: to discount I get it you have bumps on your face.
Speaker 2: I am also telling you they don't look as bad
Speaker 2: as you think.
Speaker 1: Well, thank you, But I'm if I walked in and
Speaker 1: didn't say anything, you would notice it.
Speaker 2: It just yeah, but it's not that bad. I wouldn't
Speaker 2: notice it and think like Kat do you have a
Speaker 2: disease or or you know, like what happened?
Speaker 1: Yeah, like I wouldn't. I texted you and I was like,
Speaker 1: don't be alarmed, I'm coming over and I don't have
Speaker 1: makeup lin I know.
Speaker 2: But the thing is, I didn't even see that text
Speaker 2: before you walked in.
Speaker 1: So what I'm doing is image management. I'm like calling
Speaker 1: it out before.
Speaker 2: Just sent a text.
Speaker 1: You walk in said it. Yes, So I do realize
Speaker 1: I think I've.
Speaker 2: Just called image image management. Yeah, well is that a tool.
Speaker 1: It's something that we do when we are trying to
Speaker 1: like get ahead of somebody else thinking something about us.
Speaker 1: So if I'm feeling like really uncomfortable in my clothes
Speaker 1: or something, I can walk in and be like, oh
Speaker 1: my jeans are so tight today. So if I'm thinking
Speaker 1: they look bad on me, then you won't think it first,
Speaker 1: I've already said it. I've got ahead of it, and
Speaker 1: so you can't hurt me.
Speaker 2: So it's more of a tactic than a tool.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, sorry, I was thinking like you were like, it's
Speaker 2: what you should be doing, and.
Speaker 1: It's like negative coping skull. It's the whole idea of
Speaker 1: when you you I mean, this is literally what I've
Speaker 1: been doing when you you're going to hang out with
Speaker 1: friends and you're like, oh, I have this big ZiT
Speaker 1: on my face and then they're like, well, I wasn't
Speaker 1: even going to notice that, but now I see it,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? We do it because we
Speaker 1: want to feel better, because we don't want that uncomfortable,
Speaker 1: unknown feeling of people looking at us and thinking it.
Speaker 1: So it's like me saying, I know what you're thinking.
Speaker 2: So you know it's an unhealthy coping tool and you
Speaker 2: didn't anyway, what should you do? I know, let's do
Speaker 2: this exercise. I'm like, you are gat you're human because
Speaker 2: I thought you were perfect? No, no, no, no, because I
Speaker 2: know I'm guilty of that tactic. Others listening probably are too.
Speaker 2: So what should we do instead? If we had that
Speaker 2: urge to go in and announce our vulnerability out the
Speaker 2: gates so that nobody else can.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what should we do opposite action, which is the
Speaker 1: opposite of what I'm just say nothing, Yeah, so walk
Speaker 1: in and just be like hey, because what happens is
Speaker 1: usually when we do that, we're calling all this negative
Speaker 1: attention to ourselves, where like I could have walked in
Speaker 1: and you could have. I don't know what you would
Speaker 1: have complimented of me today because I kind of just
Speaker 1: like rolled out of bed. But the color of.
Speaker 2: Your sweatshirt looks really pretty on you.
Speaker 1: You could have I could have walked in and you
Speaker 1: could have been like, oh my gosh, I love that sweatshirt.
Speaker 1: But I didn't give you the chance to do that,
Speaker 1: so I didn't get to give myself a chance to
Speaker 1: receive a compliment. Instead, we've just been talking about my
Speaker 1: skin for thirty five minutes.
Speaker 2: Well, you did dish out compliments. You were like, your
Speaker 2: skin looks so good, and I'm like, you're just saying
Speaker 2: that right now. We can feel your skin looks so beautiful.
Speaker 1: Like I told you, it looks like what I say,
Speaker 1: baby skin.
Speaker 2: Oh well, it feels a little rough to me because
Speaker 2: I started my what's it called again, retinal my retinal again,
Speaker 2: so then I kind of had to exfoliate, So I
Speaker 2: think that's what's happening. Retnel doesn't burn. No, I use
Speaker 2: a very mild one from BIOPELP, but it's I'm now
Speaker 2: putting it back into my routine, but I do it
Speaker 2: every other night. Even though it's mild. My skin is
Speaker 2: so sensitive that I'm slowly building every other night, but
Speaker 2: it's already flaking off. Thank you, pospospous for that compliment.
Speaker 2: But then you were also like, and your hair looks
Speaker 2: really good. And then I was like, oh, it's so dirty,
Speaker 2: I need to wash it, and you go, don't wash it.
Speaker 2: It looks good.
Speaker 1: So you did a little bit of like, uh, you
Speaker 1: couldn't take the compliment because my hair I don't field
Speaker 1: I was gonna wash it today, but now will you
Speaker 1: gave me a little booze? Do not wash it? You're
Speaker 1: having a really good hair day, which makes me think
Speaker 1: of like, are you robbing yourself of good hair days
Speaker 1: by washing your hair when it looks like this.
Speaker 2: Well, it's not so much what it's looking like, it's
Speaker 2: what I smell.
Speaker 1: Why smell?
Speaker 2: Sure?
Speaker 1: Wash it?
Speaker 2: The ends of it smell okay, But I feel like
Speaker 2: my roots get a little stinky, like something. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I just feel like maybe making time get you some
Speaker 1: like root freshening spray.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. So you're feeling disgusted, well,
Speaker 2: and I.
Speaker 1: Vow to Okay, this is gonna be so hard to
Speaker 1: me because for me, because the people that I'm gonna
Speaker 1: see today are all people I'm really close with. But
Speaker 1: I want to challenge myself to do opposite action today,
Speaker 1: Like I'm gonna see my mom later. She already knows
Speaker 1: about this on my face, so I'm gonna try not
Speaker 1: to say anything. No need If she brings it up, though,
Speaker 1: then I give myself full permission to be like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm so frustrated.
Speaker 2: That's okay to want to vent, but you there's no
Speaker 2: need for you to upon arrival.
Speaker 1: To be like, look and now I've told you your
Speaker 1: face and then at work, clearly that's gonna be easy
Speaker 1: for me. I'm not gonna open the door to my
Speaker 1: clients and be like, Okay, don't be alarmed. I know
Speaker 1: I have breakouts. I would never do that, so that's
Speaker 1: not as much of a challenge. So today I'm gonna
Speaker 1: challenge myself to not do any image manage.
Speaker 2: Just like open the door and run back to your
Speaker 2: chair and then tell them you're playing a fun game
Speaker 2: where they're going to face the wall today. It's called
Speaker 2: face the wall work.
Speaker 1: It's also so traumatizing.
Speaker 2: You've to sit in the corner and face the wall.
Speaker 1: Yes, speaking of I know I talked about this last week.
Speaker 1: I finished the Jody Hildebrandt documentary. Yeah, oh my gosh.
Speaker 1: You know what, I do want to recommend it to
Speaker 1: people because I think it's a good warning of just
Speaker 1: the like I said last time, the power of manipulation
Speaker 1: and all that, but evil, evil, evil, And I believe
Speaker 1: in the power of forgiveness and change and transformation and
Speaker 1: all that. But I don't think there's their sentence scene
Speaker 1: was as bad as it should have been. Do you know,
Speaker 1: are you familiar with the story.
Speaker 2: I am familiar with the story, but I've not watched
Speaker 2: the documentary. It's like, honest, I remember watching something on
Speaker 2: Ruby Frankie Okay, I cried Franky or frank Frankie Franky Okay.
Speaker 1: They'll serve four to thirty years in prison, so.
Speaker 2: People are interested in watching it. The Jody Hildebrandt's story
Speaker 2: is on Netflix, and yeah, it says that it highlights
Speaker 2: her role as a mastermind behind the abuse, tracing her
Speaker 2: rise to power in her community and her twisted teachings.
Speaker 1: Golly, yeah, it's sick the things that they're doing to but.
Speaker 2: It's like how people like that even rise in a community.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it shows the progression, which I think that is
Speaker 1: I think the helpful part of like, you don't just
Speaker 1: jump into it, because when people would be like that
Speaker 1: lady's crazy, it was a slow progression where she controlled
Speaker 1: people and like ruin people's lives and those kids are
Speaker 1: going to have that trauma for the rest of their lives,
Speaker 1: like it's changed their life in a bad way. Yeah, anyway,
Speaker 1: tell me about the eagerness you're feeling.
Speaker 2: Bring us up a little bit, right, This is definitely
Speaker 2: gonna bring you up totally different. Okay, we're doing.
Speaker 1: A one eighty.
Speaker 2: I ordered a new bird feeder and it arrived today.
Speaker 2: You're back into the birds. Well, they never left me,
Speaker 2: but I realized I put some bird feeders up around
Speaker 2: my house. But I moved into my new house a
Speaker 2: year and a half ago. I used to have a
Speaker 2: bird feeder at my last house that was right by
Speaker 2: my kitchen table window. And here the way my home
Speaker 2: is set up, where my porches and my bird feeders
Speaker 2: are out in the yard, I have to be sitting
Speaker 2: on the screened porch to see the birds, and the
Speaker 2: screen porch is still cold, so I can't be like
Speaker 2: at my kitchen window and looking out and seeing the birds.
Speaker 2: They're in my yard, so I see them, but they're far.
Speaker 2: So I found a solution. I was sitting at my
Speaker 2: kitchen table and I looked over this window that's kind
Speaker 2: of tucked. It's window right by my kitchen table, right
Speaker 2: where my laundry room door is. The window there, though,
Speaker 2: is behind bushes and trees like in my front landscaping. Well,
Speaker 2: that's the perfect place. But a suction cup birdhouse onto
Speaker 2: the window because you won't I wouldn't want I don't
Speaker 2: know why, but I wouldn't want that on my front window.
Speaker 2: When you're pulling up to my house. But because this
Speaker 2: is disguised by bushes, you don't really see it.
Speaker 1: Oh you can't see that window, not really, it's sort
Speaker 1: of hidden. I don't think it's weird that you don't
Speaker 1: want a bird feeder section cup to the front window
Speaker 1: of your house. Okay, that's normal.
Speaker 2: Well, thank you, well, but just in case anybody has that,
Speaker 2: Oh okay, you do you like? That's okay, But for
Speaker 2: me that would be off because I would be like, well,
Speaker 2: I need well on every window because I wanted to
Speaker 2: look well. So I had this revelation and I go
Speaker 2: on Amazon and I find the suction cup bird feeder
Speaker 2: and it has arrived. So I'm so eager to get
Speaker 2: done with my work and a few other things that
Speaker 2: I need to do today and I get to open
Speaker 2: up that package because I also ordered new bird seed,
Speaker 2: so I got a fresh bag of bird seed and
Speaker 2: a new feeder. I'm in a suction to the outside
Speaker 2: of that window, and the birds they're gonna come, and
Speaker 2: they're gonna come right to my window.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So like I don't have to be on on the
Speaker 2: screen porch and I can be sitting at my kitchen
Speaker 2: table and the birds can come visit.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And do you have your little I feel like
Speaker 1: you used to have this laminated sheet with it was
Speaker 1: a book of like all these different birds.
Speaker 2: My bird book is out on my screen.
Speaker 1: Porch or is it bird bingo or something?
Speaker 2: I would just play, Yeah, I would play bird Bingo.
Speaker 2: I don't have that anymore. I mean, I suppose it's somewhere,
Speaker 2: but maybe with my new feeder, I need to bust
Speaker 2: out a new round because I'm gonna have new visitors
Speaker 2: to that feeder and I'll be like, hey, cardinal check,
Speaker 2: chickad eat check.
Speaker 1: What's the most day check? Rare bird that you had
Speaker 1: coming to your bird feeder before.
Speaker 2: I mean they weren't rare. I mean I would get
Speaker 2: excited if I could like name them and you would see.
Speaker 2: I love seeing a tufted titmouse. I knew you were
Speaker 2: going to say that that's my favorite. You know, A
Speaker 2: blue jay never came to my feeter till my dad died.
Speaker 2: No way way I had cardinals had morning, lots of
Speaker 2: mourning doves. Does doves come in pairs?
Speaker 1: It's cute? Oh that is cute. I was gonna say,
Speaker 1: does a a hummingbird? Does that have a different bird food? Yes,
Speaker 1: that's okay. You're looking at me like.
Speaker 2: Well, it's not like I don't know what you call it,
Speaker 2: like a nectar, so I don't. I tried to be
Speaker 2: a hummingbird person, but I wasn't good at changing out
Speaker 2: the liquid stuff. And they'll come to that, but they
Speaker 2: don't come to my bird feeder. Do you know the
Speaker 2: only bird that can fly backwards is yeah? Did you
Speaker 2: know that?
Speaker 1: I think maybe you've told me that fact before.
Speaker 2: Fun fact. I'm very eager. I'm very, very very very
Speaker 2: eager to set this up, like I feel like it's
Speaker 2: just gonna change everything.
Speaker 1: And should I get a bird feeder? Maybe would change
Speaker 1: how I feel about my faith?
Speaker 2: Yes, because you get to see the the wonders of
Speaker 2: the world of clothes. Wait, you're at awe, you're not.
Speaker 2: I don't think you get to know them, especially if
Speaker 2: cards visit and they have certain features at times I
Speaker 2: can't remember the exact way, like is it called molting?
Speaker 2: It's the shedding of their feathers. But cardinals, to me,
Speaker 2: I started to be able to tell them apart in
Speaker 2: like their feather display and their shape.
Speaker 1: So would the same cardinal come back to you?
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, and I'd be like, oh, there he is,
Speaker 2: and I would like give them little nicknames. And then
Speaker 2: of course the male cardinals are red and the female
Speaker 2: cardinals are brown.
Speaker 1: But that's crazy. I didn't know.
Speaker 2: But my mom doesn't identify.
Speaker 1: She's gender fluid.
Speaker 2: Yeah, fluid.
Speaker 1: Okay, So I don't think i'd be a very good
Speaker 1: bird birding birder, what do you call them? Bird burden.
Speaker 1: So in our neighborhood there's two little pond lake things
Speaker 1: like fishing lakes in the front when you come in
Speaker 1: this certain entry, and there's two swans in each lake.
Speaker 1: And it was getting to be cold, and and Patrick
Speaker 1: one day we're like, when do you think those swans
Speaker 1: are gonna like fly home or fly south or do
Speaker 1: whatever they do in the winter because cold, and they're
Speaker 1: still in the water. And we had lived there for
Speaker 1: maybe four months. Those swans were fake? Which have you
Speaker 1: seen them? You might not have noticed them, because I
Speaker 1: would love to know if you thought that, if you
Speaker 1: thought they were real. And there's two in each one,
Speaker 1: and we always like, it's so cute. They're always together,
Speaker 1: and there wasn't that same text they must love it there.
Speaker 2: That's funny.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: At my last house I had a pool and the
Speaker 2: ducks would come.
Speaker 1: I remember that that was crazy.
Speaker 2: It was crazy and they were just swim in my pool.
Speaker 1: But wouldn't it didn't bother you, right, I know it
Speaker 1: didn't bother me.
Speaker 2: I thought it was fantastic.
Speaker 1: But what if you wanted to enjoy the pool, but
Speaker 1: then the ducks were in the pond? The pool, it's theirs.
Speaker 2: Their polls. Now they do they like poop in it
Speaker 2: though that would be the annoying part. They don't poop
Speaker 2: in it. They would poop around.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I.
Speaker 2: Don't think they were pooping in it. If they did.
Speaker 2: I couldn't tell, but they would. You know, around my
Speaker 2: pool there would be more droppings than I care to
Speaker 2: deal with. But it's not like they were there all
Speaker 2: the times. When they would come, I'd be like, welcome.
Speaker 1: That was crazy, it was.
Speaker 2: I really enjoyed that. That was that was great. I
Speaker 2: had a birfect time Peter and a pond that they
Speaker 2: would come to. So I just loved my visitors. Now, wait,
Speaker 2: we'll see what happens.
Speaker 1: What is the Disney character as it? That's like in
Speaker 1: the woods and all white, snow white? You are snow white.
Speaker 1: You literally are not anymore.
Speaker 2: But I'm about to be maybe a little more. I
Speaker 2: feel like some of that is coming back. Well, and
Speaker 2: you're your animals follow you.
Speaker 1: Around everywhere they do.
Speaker 2: I know, whatever room I go to, my dog and
Speaker 2: my cats show up, it's pretty good.
Speaker 1: Yeah snowy oh cute.
Speaker 2: Well that brings me comfort. Yeah, I'm grateful for them,
Speaker 2: for sure. It brings me joy. Car used to annoy
Speaker 2: me so much, remember, yeah, and now we've gotten better.
Speaker 2: Sometimes she still annoys you, Yeah, but that's just because
Speaker 2: she's kind of an annoying dog. But I love her
Speaker 2: so much now, Like I love her like I don't
Speaker 2: want to live without her. When you say to be
Speaker 2: a really.
Speaker 1: Dog, what do you mean?
Speaker 2: Yeah, she was just she just wants to be just
Speaker 2: a little bit crazy now. But she used to be
Speaker 2: at my last house. And I think it was because
Speaker 2: of all the other toxic things going on. If you're
Speaker 2: a new listener, you may not know. I don't speak
Speaker 2: about the details. Those are private, but there was just
Speaker 2: a lot happening, and she carried that as the dog.
Speaker 2: So she had a lot of anxiety and she's a
Speaker 2: rescue and she has her own drama and it was
Speaker 2: too much.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, speaking of toxic things, I found an article.
Speaker 1: When I say article, I mean instagram infographic about things
Speaker 1: that are not toxic, just uncomfortable.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, I trust me.
Speaker 1: You're talking what you were good going through is like
Speaker 1: my toxicity was toxic?
Speaker 2: Well, I guess I don't even know what what you
Speaker 2: would call it.
Speaker 1: It would have had an unh some unhealthy dynamics. I
Speaker 1: would say they're toxic.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you go, unhealthy dynamics, that's it. And there was
Speaker 2: multiple players.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so.
Speaker 2: It was like a really fun video. I was like,
Speaker 2: please make this game stop, and it does. Yeah, it did.
Speaker 1: But I do think toxic is one of those words
Speaker 1: now that it's thrown around way too much, and we
Speaker 1: kind of use it as an excuse to either not
Speaker 1: look at our own stuff or not sit with discomfort
Speaker 1: or not. And that could be just the discomfort of
Speaker 1: the fact that this is the way the world is,
Speaker 1: you know, right, So I just go through them and
Speaker 1: you can tell me if any feelings show up. And
Speaker 1: this comes from therapy for women. At therapy for women, someone.
Speaker 2: Disagreeing with you, right, that's uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: Not toxic, just uncomfortable, which I feel like that's a
Speaker 1: lot of times, and it's not so simple. It's not like, oh,
Speaker 1: she said that this hamburger wasn't good. It's if somebody
Speaker 1: disagrees with you about a behavior or decision you made
Speaker 1: or something like that, or you're disagreeing with them, they
Speaker 1: have a different idea of what they need to do.
Speaker 1: A lot of times we're like, oh, they're just being
Speaker 1: toxic or they're so toxic I need to cut them
Speaker 1: out of my life. And it's like, well, I just
Speaker 1: think sometimes we need to leave space for some differences,
Speaker 1: and that's okay that they think that what you did
Speaker 1: was probably not the right decision, you can still think
Speaker 1: it's okay.
Speaker 2: My boyfriend and I were having a conversation with another
Speaker 2: couple just a couple of days ago. Actually it's very recent,
Speaker 2: and I woke up kind of even thinking about it,
Speaker 2: like thinking if I was a toxic person, that I
Speaker 2: would have maybe in that conversation because we weren't agreeing.
Speaker 2: I could have like I stared at them like they're crazy,
Speaker 2: and then shut it down, like when we got in
Speaker 2: the car, I could be like, we're not hanging out
Speaker 2: with them anymore. But I'm proud of myself. I didn't
Speaker 2: do it, But I don't know why I woke up
Speaker 2: with that thought. And maybe it was like a hint
Speaker 2: of like maybe we shouldn't hang out with them, But
Speaker 2: I was proud of us for being able to have
Speaker 2: a difficult conversation and everybody, you know, five minutes later
Speaker 2: laughing about something else. We definitely did not agree. What
Speaker 2: I did was I said I don't agree with that.
Speaker 1: Good for you. That's not how I see it's healthy.
Speaker 2: And then they're like, oh, well, this is one of
Speaker 2: my favorite things about this person. Da da da, And
Speaker 2: I'm like, that's not how I see that at all,
Speaker 2: and it was a yeah, it was a healthy, I
Speaker 2: guess disagreement. I didn't know you were going to talk
Speaker 2: about this, But when I'm thinking about it, it was
Speaker 2: a little uncomfortable, but not terribly. But it is weird
Speaker 2: that I woke up this morning having that thought of, like,
Speaker 2: there were probably some people that would have been that
Speaker 2: situation and they would have just like cut it off.
Speaker 2: I cut the relationship off because of just how black
Speaker 2: and why so many things seem lately, especially in the
Speaker 2: like the political landscape and oh yeah, how people are
Speaker 2: just so my way or the highway. Like if you
Speaker 2: don't think like I do, well, you're you know.
Speaker 1: You're toxic, yeah, or you're bad or And I think
Speaker 1: there are things that you can feel really strongly about
Speaker 1: and you can have like deal breakers for yourself. Sure
Speaker 1: that's okay, but not everything has to be a deal breaker,
Speaker 1: And we need to learn how to sit in myself included,
Speaker 1: Like I think I'm part of this because it's easier
Speaker 1: to be like, oh, I don't want to deal with
Speaker 1: that anymore, so I'm just not going to have a
Speaker 1: relationship with them, versus like sit with the fact that like, yeah,
Speaker 1: these people might believe this, and that's hard for me
Speaker 1: to comprehend. But I think that even goes into we
Speaker 1: talked about the drama triangle a couple weeks back, maybe
Speaker 1: a month, that was in December. I think if you
Speaker 1: haven't listened to that episode, I highly recommend it. Part
Speaker 1: of the drama triangle is to lower expectations and create boundaries.
Speaker 1: And I can just create boundaries around those things, and
Speaker 1: so when I no longer have that conversation, like if
Speaker 1: it's about something political, for instance, I don't talk about
Speaker 1: politics with that person, and then I can start to
Speaker 1: see the other things that I still might find redeeming
Speaker 1: about them. And again, this is all nuanced, So I'm
Speaker 1: sure there are plenty of reasons why you would want
Speaker 1: to cut a relationship, relationship up, a relationship off with someone.
Speaker 1: But if it's we're just saying, like, not every time
Speaker 1: somebody disagrees with you, are they toxic people? It just
Speaker 1: sometimes is difficult to sit with right proud of you.
Speaker 2: Well, thanks, I mean, I wasn't sharing it free to
Speaker 2: be proud of me at all, but I will take it, yeah,
Speaker 2: because I guess when I think about it, I'm like,
Speaker 2: we did handle that well yeah, huh, okay, yeah, now
Speaker 2: it happened. If it happens again, they're done.
Speaker 1: Two strikes, they're out. Second one is being asked to compromise.
Speaker 1: Not toxic, just uncomfortable.
Speaker 2: I feel like, if someone's asking you to compromise, how
Speaker 2: would that ever be perceived as toxic?
Speaker 1: If they're asking you to give something up unclearly yeah,
Speaker 1: and they're like, I can't believe they would ask me
Speaker 1: of that. I mean, this is spectrum of ways that
Speaker 1: this would show up. It's not just like hey, like,
Speaker 1: can we meet at five thirty in set of five?
Speaker 1: Like I don't think anybody is sorry.
Speaker 2: I'm thinking like the compromises, like okay, if you don't
Speaker 2: want salmon for dinner, and maybe you don't want beef,
Speaker 2: can we meet in the middle on chicken?
Speaker 1: I think that could be like a exam. I don't
Speaker 1: know an exact example of this, but more grand scheme
Speaker 1: that would be more like straight with somebody, like you're
Speaker 1: doing some business decision and like I don't see it
Speaker 1: the way you see it, so I'm asking you to
Speaker 1: meet me in the middle.
Speaker 2: Or it's like you're having a compromise your integrity though.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well that would be toxic. I don't know that
Speaker 1: that might not even well if they're I think that
Speaker 1: this is where it gets nuanced, because you might have
Speaker 1: different ideas of integrity. And if it's somebody's like, hey,
Speaker 1: we should steal from this person, that's the one thing.
Speaker 1: But if they just like are great the line of
Speaker 1: something that isn't that big of a deal, they might
Speaker 1: not be toxic. You might just have like way stronger morals.
Speaker 1: That doesn't mean that they're toxic. And that sounds bad.
Speaker 1: I feel like when I even say, but there's levels
Speaker 1: of it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I get what you're saying.
Speaker 1: Okay, feeling guilty when you hurt somebody isn't toxic. It's
Speaker 1: just uncomfortable. And the alem me explain this one, because
Speaker 1: I see you're a little confused. I think sometimes when
Speaker 1: people hurt somebody's feelings, they are like, I don't need
Speaker 1: to feel guilt because I did what is right. Like
Speaker 1: I had to stick up for myself. It's that whole
Speaker 1: like if it's not a hell, yes, it's a no,
Speaker 1: or that like very strong black and white of I
Speaker 1: have to start self caring for myself and then I
Speaker 1: leave people out. So we talk ourselves out of feeling guilty.
Speaker 1: So this one is saying like, it's okay for you
Speaker 1: to feel guilty if you hurt somebody's feelings, that's not toxic.
Speaker 1: It's okay to feel that. Because I think lady, we've
Speaker 1: been studying, we the world has been setting the message
Speaker 1: of like you don't have to feel bad for that,
Speaker 1: and like it's actually okay to have some guilt.
Speaker 2: Oh good, okay, yeah.
Speaker 1: Because if we hurt somebody these feelings, it's okay to
Speaker 1: be like, yeah, I didn't like that. I do feel
Speaker 1: a little bit guilty of that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's feel stuff around that. Yeah it should feel uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it should feel uncomfortable. Because then what happens is
Speaker 1: like there is again it's a nuance. It's a fine line.
Speaker 1: There are things that like I'll sit with a client
Speaker 1: and they'll be like they'll say, like, I feel so guilty,
Speaker 1: and I'll ask them, well, tell me what you did wrong.
Speaker 1: Guilt is helping you, like stay in your moral compass,
Speaker 1: Like it's helping you do the right thing, So tell
Speaker 1: me what you did wrong. And sometimes they can identify
Speaker 1: something like okay, well that makes sense. It sounds like
Speaker 1: in that scenario, there wasn't a way for you to
Speaker 1: get what you needed and also not hurt anybody in
Speaker 1: the process. So like, maybe there is a repair you
Speaker 1: might want to make, who knows, And also you might
Speaker 1: want to give yourself grace because you were putting a
Speaker 1: hard position. But then there's also people who are like,
Speaker 1: I did this thing, and I'm not going to feel
Speaker 1: bad about it because xyz, even if they stepped on
Speaker 1: people's what is it step on their toes or they yeah,
Speaker 1: hurt people in the process. And I think that is
Speaker 1: our way of trying to reconcile, getting your needs met
Speaker 1: and also not having to have feelings. Does that make sense?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Back to the if it's not a hell yes,
Speaker 2: it's a no. How do you feel about that?
Speaker 1: Hate it?
Speaker 2: You hate it?
Speaker 1: When at first first people will started saying that, I
Speaker 1: was like, heck, yeah, that was in like peak hustle culture.
Speaker 1: Speaking of the twenty sixteen you know, it's been a
Speaker 1: thing lately of reminiscing on twenty sixteen. I feel like
Speaker 1: that's when that got really big around that time.
Speaker 2: If it's not a hell yes, it's a no.
Speaker 1: It was a girl boss all of that, And I
Speaker 1: think that is black and white.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and there's so much great. I feel like sometimes
Speaker 2: I would try to apply that and I'd be like, but,
Speaker 2: like I've probably said, like but I don't really know
Speaker 2: for sure, like is.
Speaker 1: It a but I kind of want to do it?
Speaker 2: Yeah, And then I'm like, but I guess if it's
Speaker 2: not a definite clear yes. Now I understand some things
Speaker 2: like if you need to make a quick decision, that
Speaker 2: could be a quick method you use of like if
Speaker 2: you're making me make up my mind right now and
Speaker 2: I'm only like a little bit in then okay, I'm out.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think it was that was intended. See, we
Speaker 1: just take everything too far. That was intended to help
Speaker 1: people say no, because it was really targeted towards women,
Speaker 1: I think a lot.
Speaker 2: Okay, what about this one? No is a complete sentence?
Speaker 1: Okay, another one that I used to love and now
Speaker 1: I feel torn on because sometimes explanations are needed, sometimes
Speaker 1: they're not. The intention I think behind that was so
Speaker 1: people didn't feel like they had to over explain themselves.
Speaker 1: But if you asked me a question, name something that
Speaker 1: you would ask me for, Like, I don't know what
Speaker 1: do you need from me?
Speaker 2: While I'm trying to think of how serious do we
Speaker 2: want to make it?
Speaker 1: Okay, if you ask, if you text me and you're like,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, my car it broke down on the
Speaker 1: side of the road. I'm gonna be late for work.
Speaker 1: Can you come pick me up? And I just said no,
Speaker 1: I just n period sent it to you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that would be that was aggressive. That would just
Speaker 2: be weird, Like we don't talk like that, Okay, But
Speaker 2: I don't know that that's what it's for, right, Like
Speaker 2: what if it were?
Speaker 1: But I think that's the point is it's intended for this,
Speaker 1: and then we've used it for all these other we
Speaker 1: exaggerate to make us less uncomfortable about doing that.
Speaker 2: Okay, here's one where I think maybe it applies more.
Speaker 2: I love the car example, but that's just like not
Speaker 2: like you would never be like no, But if someone
Speaker 2: was trying to protect their personal peace and maybe they
Speaker 2: had a lot going on and they didn't have the
Speaker 2: bandwidth for somebody else's drama, and maybe I call you
Speaker 2: and you know that I have something dramatic going on,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, or I text you to give you
Speaker 2: a heads up, like, hey, do you have time to
Speaker 2: talk today about like this just happens drive me crazy,
Speaker 2: and then you, knowing where you are with your mental
Speaker 2: health for this day, you're like, I really don't have
Speaker 2: the capacity for her drama today, so you just replied
Speaker 2: that no again. But that's to protect your peace, I know,
Speaker 2: But I feel like someone that might be a case
Speaker 2: where someone might be like, I don't need to explain myself.
Speaker 2: I just don't have time for them today.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 2: But then that is weird because I would want you
Speaker 2: to say. What I would really appreciate from you is, Hey,
Speaker 2: I know you're going through a lot, and I would
Speaker 2: love to work through this with you. I don't have
Speaker 2: the bandwidth for it today, but maybe tomorrow.
Speaker 1: Yes, you're using that like the phrase like it knows
Speaker 1: a complete sentence. I think it's supposed is supposed to
Speaker 1: and like the Grand scheme of things help people say
Speaker 1: sentences like you said not just say an oh, it's
Speaker 1: been taken to literally if that makes sense, Like that
Speaker 1: was just me saying no, because if you did ask
Speaker 1: me that, I would be like, oh, I can't today,
Speaker 1: but here's another day x y Z. And some people
Speaker 1: could even say like I don't have the time today.
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry, Like what but just me being like, oh,
Speaker 1: my therapist said knows a complete sentence, so I should
Speaker 1: practice doing that, and me just saying n O period
Speaker 1: to you, you would probably be like that was harsh.
Speaker 1: What's going on with her? And like whoops? And so
Speaker 1: it's not clear. I don't think that that's clear. And
Speaker 1: you've taught me like being clear as kind? Or is
Speaker 1: it Brene Brown that taught you that?
Speaker 2: No, I mean, I don't know who originally said it.
Speaker 2: I'm sure a lot of people say it, but my
Speaker 2: mentor of sorts, you know, her name's Alex. Yeah, she
Speaker 2: has drilled into me clear ast kind. Also I got
Speaker 2: it from Janet way back in the day therapy. No
Speaker 2: clear is kind? Unclear is unkind? Okay, A lot of
Speaker 2: people in the recovery space too, you hear.
Speaker 1: It a lot.
Speaker 2: So SIT's bro, it's a good reminder.
Speaker 1: So no complete can be a complete sentence. And that's
Speaker 1: not the sentence that we use. When we use it exactly,
Speaker 1: it doesn't sound as good and instagram graphic. I think
Speaker 1: that's part of the problem there.
Speaker 2: Okay, So what else isn't toxic? Just uncomfy?
Speaker 1: Someone expressing disappointment, Like if somebody shares with you that
Speaker 1: they're like disappointed in something or it could be something
Speaker 1: you did, it could be something whatever. They're not being toxic.
Speaker 1: It's okay to do that.
Speaker 2: It's just uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: Yeah, to hear it, just hear that. Yeah. Now again,
Speaker 1: this is all nuanced. So there's levels of this, and
Speaker 1: the last one is conflict that leads to growth. So
Speaker 1: any conflict that leads to growth most likely is not
Speaker 1: going to be toxic to be healthy, conflict that leads
Speaker 1: to growth versus disruption and destruction.
Speaker 2: I will say too, like, certain things are uncomfortable. This
Speaker 2: isn't profound, like nothing, Like what's she going to say?
Speaker 2: You're gonna be like, well, yeah, duh. But it's helpful
Speaker 2: to consider in your thoughts when pondering comfort. Things are
Speaker 2: uncomfortable until they're not.
Speaker 1: Okay, funny because you set it up. But I know
Speaker 1: that is a good pension.
Speaker 2: My My point is, when I'm looking back over the
Speaker 2: last five or six years, some stuff that used to
Speaker 2: be so uncomfortable for me isn't uncomfortable anymore because I
Speaker 2: leaned into the uncomfort. I got comfortable with the uncomfortable too.
Speaker 2: So now new situations, circumstances arise and you have to
Speaker 2: navigate those waters. And now I'm just picturing like a
Speaker 2: bicep lifting like a dumb bell, like but because I exercised,
Speaker 2: Like it's this picture a dumbell that's like says uncomfortable,
Speaker 2: and I'm like lifting it like the more I lift it,
Speaker 2: the easier it gets, and so it's not uncomfortable anymore.
Speaker 2: Like over time, not in that same overtime. No, Like
Speaker 2: I'm talking like some of the stuff maybe took two
Speaker 2: years or and I'm talking about in ways of how
Speaker 2: you communicate, in ways of how you operate in relationships,
Speaker 2: of how you handle something toxic or uncomfortable. But because
Speaker 2: you exercise that that muscle, like, the more we avoid,
Speaker 2: because then that's you never face the uncomfortable, so you
Speaker 2: don't learn how to lift it. Yeah, now you've follow it.
Speaker 1: No, I love what you're saying.
Speaker 2: It was just your setup that really got me. You've
Speaker 2: never pictured a dumb bell that says uncomfortable, never use that,
Speaker 2: but who knows I might use that? Now? Be like
Speaker 2: picture it. You're at the gym and you go over
Speaker 2: to the weight rack and you pick up the dumb
Speaker 2: bell that says uncomfortable. You know because like one day, Oh,
Speaker 2: I was at the gym with my boyfriend the other
Speaker 2: day and we were doing what's the bench an incline bench,
Speaker 2: and I was doing chest presses, yeah, like on an incline.
Speaker 2: And I've seen and read from many experts in perimenopause
Speaker 2: that perimenopausal women need to be lifting to exertion, like
Speaker 2: by the eight rep it should be very very difficult,
Speaker 2: like maybe eight is your max. And you know, a
Speaker 2: lot of time, like I grew up in a lifting
Speaker 2: weights of like three sets of fifteen, you know, and
Speaker 2: then you just kind of do it, and it's you know,
Speaker 2: by the time you get fifteen, it's hard but whatever.
Speaker 2: But we're talking like by the time you're doing eight,
Speaker 2: it's like I can barely right. So my boyfriend is
Speaker 2: even spotting me because I normally lift like five or
Speaker 2: ten pounds, but he I got twenty five pound dumbbells
Speaker 2: in each arm.
Speaker 1: Oh my god.
Speaker 2: But I mean he was there so that if it
Speaker 2: fell like or if I, yeah, like I buckled and
Speaker 2: like dropped it, I would be fine. But I told
Speaker 2: him I wanted to practice maxing out and I could
Speaker 2: only make it to eight, and then we set him down,
Speaker 2: and then I tried it again and I made it,
Speaker 2: Like I think by the third time, I started to
Speaker 2: trust myself a little more and I made it to nine.
Speaker 2: But I know next time we go back, I'll be
Speaker 2: more comfortable to be like, OK, yeah, let's get the
Speaker 2: twenty five, because when he first bought me the twenty five,
Speaker 2: I was like, stop, no, let's try twenty He's like, no, no, no,
Speaker 2: let's try this. But I'll be more inclined to lay
Speaker 2: down and be like, yeah, give me the twenty fives
Speaker 2: because I know I can do it, And then fast
Speaker 2: forward maybe two or three more gym visits, and I'd
Speaker 2: be like, get the thirties.
Speaker 1: And even the confidence that I can even see like
Speaker 1: happening after your time story.
Speaker 2: So when something uncomfortable happens, my point is you're ready
Speaker 2: for it. Yeah, and you're gonna be like this isn't
Speaker 2: gonna be easy to lift, but I know I can
Speaker 2: do it. Well.
Speaker 1: It's what you're saying too, is like the only way
Speaker 1: through is through.
Speaker 2: Don't get me through us through? Yeah, and the you know,
Speaker 2: like I said a couple of minutes ago, at the beginning,
Speaker 2: things are uncomfortable, are uncomfortable till they're not.
Speaker 1: You heard it here first Ladies and Gentlemen.
Speaker 2: Quoter what was I don't even remember the exact quote,
Speaker 2: but it's like things are uncomfortable until they're not.
Speaker 1: That literally, the thing was sweet. Nobody's ever probably said
Speaker 1: that before either, so you can really I'm kidding. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: That was kind of mean. You got excited.
Speaker 2: Well you're toxic, okay, So so that ends that segment. Yeah,
Speaker 2: so things that aren't toxic just uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: And this is not an exhausted list, obviously, it's just
Speaker 1: this one little thing I found online that I liked
Speaker 1: good reminders.
Speaker 2: So I made protein balls the other night that were
Speaker 2: not good at all, and my boyfriend had to say, like,
Speaker 2: this isn't your best work. But I had to improvise
Speaker 2: because I didn't have everything, and you know, I typically
Speaker 2: if I'm putting protein powder in them, it's unflavored. Way, well,
Speaker 2: I was out, so I'm unflavored. So I used a vanilla.
Speaker 1: That's where you went wrong.
Speaker 2: It went so wrong, and then I thought, well, i'll
Speaker 2: fix this. I'll add a little milk ew I know,
Speaker 2: wait's I don't know, I don't know it needed. I
Speaker 2: just thought, well, I'm just gonna go rogue from the
Speaker 2: recipe and just like try something different and create it.
Speaker 2: And then it was like mushballs and they eventually hardened.
Speaker 1: Did you eat them or did you throw them out? Yeah?
Speaker 2: When you saw me eating one earlier, that was one
Speaker 2: of them. I'm not going to waste it.
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, you're really good at not wasting.
Speaker 2: Food, thank you. So wasn't my best work at all.
Speaker 2: And I had to take that feedback from him, like
Speaker 2: he wasn't being toxic. Though. It was uncomfortable because I
Speaker 2: was like, well, shoot, dang, I didn't like hearing it.
Speaker 1: Well, and did you kind of like know though? Yeah?
Speaker 2: I kind of like knew, but I mean I didn't
Speaker 2: think they were like terrible. But he was just like, oh,
Speaker 2: it's not your best work.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it would be a little bit harder for you
Speaker 1: to hear that probably if you're like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: these are so good taste someone.
Speaker 2: He was like, oh, oh yeah, that would be difficult
Speaker 2: and said I knew I went rogue. I said, well,
Speaker 2: I had improvise and this is what we got, so
Speaker 2: take it or leave it, buddy. So then last night
Speaker 2: I was at his house and he had all the
Speaker 2: ingredients for the balls minus protein powders, so these aren't
Speaker 2: protein balls. We just made balls and he had everything else.
Speaker 2: And he's like, okay, do it your way. So I
Speaker 2: pull up the Feeling Things podcast, like, I go to that.
Speaker 2: Do you ever do that? Like? I literally go to
Speaker 2: our cooking made post so many times. I know, but
Speaker 2: I just didn't after my mishap.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I didn't like, I can't take any chance.
Speaker 2: I didn't trust myself. So I went to on our
Speaker 2: Instagram page and I went to the cooking video of
Speaker 2: the first time we made the protein balls, and I
Speaker 2: was like verbat him and I had measuring cups out
Speaker 2: and I'm like, we're not messing these up. Well, he
Speaker 2: doesn't like chocolate chips, which is something we put in there.
Speaker 2: He doesn't like them. He'll pick them out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he doesn't like the flavor.
Speaker 2: He doesn't like chocolate speaking of bumps. He's like it
Speaker 2: breaks me out. And I'm like one chocolate chip and
Speaker 2: he's like, well there's not one, there's like half a cup.
Speaker 2: Does he like the flavor of chocolate? Not really, he
Speaker 2: just doesn't. He's like, I've never been someone habit and
Speaker 2: trust me. He's like, if I when I have chocolate,
Speaker 2: I my skin is different. So it's like, I don't
Speaker 2: mess with it.
Speaker 1: You think that my bumps. I'm just kidding.
Speaker 2: Is it chocolate?
Speaker 1: I don't think it. Wait, that is so interesting. I
Speaker 1: feel like you don't meet that many people that like
Speaker 1: don't like love chocolate.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he does not love chocolkay, so I said, And
Speaker 2: he did have chocolate chips. I mean he has kids.
Speaker 2: So I was like, do you want me to not
Speaker 2: put in the chocolate chips? I said, but I feel
Speaker 2: like it's going to miss something because, like to me,
Speaker 2: the chocolate chips yes, a little crunch. And he's like, well,
Speaker 2: I have rice crisps like Cereal. Why are you?
Speaker 1: At first, I was thinking, right.
Speaker 2: Well, the degree the brand specifically, because I will say
Speaker 2: the puff in these is nice. The brand is one degree.
Speaker 2: I looked at the box. One degree maybe brown rice puffs?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 2: He said he got them at Whole Foods, but I'm
Speaker 2: sure you could get them at public Sir Kroger, I
Speaker 2: don't know. And HB shout out from a Texas listeners
Speaker 2: and let me tell you, we didn't put chocolate chips.
Speaker 2: We put the brown rice crisppuff ball thingies so good.
Speaker 1: I'm imagining that being good.
Speaker 2: I mean, game changer. You could even add it with
Speaker 2: the chocolate.
Speaker 1: Can I still have the chocolate ships?
Speaker 2: Yeah, well I think I have rice cake.
Speaker 1: So i'magining it just like adds a little bit more
Speaker 1: like airy crunched.
Speaker 2: And airy crunch is a good way to put it.
Speaker 2: And let me tell you, as soon as I get
Speaker 2: I'm out of ingredients at my house. But now that
Speaker 2: I've made this at his, and I got to go
Speaker 2: get my own box of one degree and I got
Speaker 2: to get some unflavored way because I like having the
Speaker 2: protein in them. I'm making these with the chocolate chips
Speaker 2: and the puffs and it's it's like our recipe elevator.
Speaker 2: It's the twenty twenty six version. I cannot wait.
Speaker 1: I have a question about this though, because do you
Speaker 1: need to add more wet ingredients in.
Speaker 2: There so they stay together? No?
Speaker 1: Oh really nope, because sometimes mine are a little dry,
Speaker 1: so I add a little extra honey or peanut butter.
Speaker 1: So this was still okay.
Speaker 2: How much of the of it did you use? Like
Speaker 2: a cup did not measure? Because I just was like, oh, well,
Speaker 2: I'm just adding it in for an extra crunch. So
Speaker 2: I just sprinkled it. So I have to get a
Speaker 2: measurement if people want that, But I think you could
Speaker 2: just like sprinkle to you'll till you're content. Okay, so
Speaker 2: do you sort of like with the chocolate chips, I
Speaker 2: think we have a measurement on our recipe.
Speaker 1: But like something you too much, too much?
Speaker 2: I agree, sometimes it's too much, so you could do less,
Speaker 2: just add as you go, figure out what works for you.
Speaker 2: And I gotta say, this is one of those things
Speaker 2: that was born out of maybe some uncomfortableness because I
Speaker 2: had to go through the crappy balls and and my
Speaker 2: boyfriend say like, oh, not your best work to then
Speaker 2: the next night me wanting to prove myself at his
Speaker 2: house to be like I got you. I know last
Speaker 2: night they were pretty bad, but I can do this
Speaker 2: and I'm going to make you some good balls.
Speaker 1: And I did it, and I did it, but it
Speaker 1: life was forever change.
Speaker 2: But I probably wouldn't have made them. Yeah, So like
Speaker 2: also look at it that way when you're going through
Speaker 2: something uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's giving you the push you need what to
Speaker 1: get to you?
Speaker 2: What is going to come from it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, what does this make possible? Better balls? Better balls?
Speaker 2: Crunch your crunch your bone.
Speaker 1: Crunch your balls. So that was a game changer.
Speaker 2: I want to try that. Yeah, I'm loving I'm loving
Speaker 2: those balls. In fact, I'm going to go over to
Speaker 2: my boyfriend's house today and there's going to be some
Speaker 2: left and I can't wait to eat one since I
Speaker 2: don't have the ingredients at my house yet. So I'm
Speaker 2: going to be eating more those today and I'm going
Speaker 2: to be finishing book Lovers. Finishing, Yeah, let me finishing it.
Speaker 1: When did you start it.
Speaker 2: Two days ago? Maybe when I right when I finished Nightingale?
Speaker 2: I picked it right up, which is quite the difference
Speaker 2: because Nightingale, uh was obviously historical fiction, very heavy, like
Speaker 2: I was crying, and so I was happy to roll
Speaker 2: into something lighter, and I decided to make my first
Speaker 2: Emily Henry read Book Lovers.
Speaker 1: Can you give us a summary of what it's about?
Speaker 1: Because the title doesn't really make me want to read it?
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, it's two people. They love books crazy, and
Speaker 2: so they're one is a book editor and one as
Speaker 2: a book a literary agent.
Speaker 1: Are they women as one a man?
Speaker 2: Are they one as a man and one as a woman.
Speaker 1: Oh, the book Lovers Love is multi dimensional there, Yeah,
Speaker 1: isn't it? Okay?
Speaker 2: But it's I'm like, really cute. Oh and there's a
Speaker 2: cute sister of relationship happening. Okay, I like also in
Speaker 2: The Nightingale there was a sister relationship. Well, define it's cute.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's different. I was gonna say I like her
Speaker 1: books because they're easy read. So that's what sounds like.
Speaker 1: That was easy read, like you're you're almost done with this?
Speaker 2: Yes, Although Nightingale I appreciated the font on the book
Speaker 2: was a little bit bigger. So switching from that to
Speaker 2: Book Lovers, the book is smaller. And I need my
Speaker 2: reading glasses. I need reading classes. I got mine by
Speaker 2: prescription and then I lost them, and I've been so
Speaker 2: upset about them because they were expensive that I've refused
Speaker 2: to get new ones because I keep hoping i'll find them.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I don't. I think maybe if they are
Speaker 1: glasses that help you see.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I can see. I can still see.
Speaker 1: If you're straining to read, I think that makes your
Speaker 1: eyesight worse.
Speaker 2: Right, Really, it's not like a muscle. I'm not exercising it.
Speaker 1: No, I think it's straining makes your eyesight worse.
Speaker 2: Oh. I feel like if you start to use glasses
Speaker 2: too soon before you need it, you become too dependent
Speaker 2: and you weaken your eye. Did I just make that up?
Speaker 2: At least that's what I'm hope.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I don't know either. I was just hoping for that
Speaker 2: being the case, you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. I think if you need glasses,
Speaker 1: the best solution is like to wear them, get them
Speaker 1: and wear them.
Speaker 2: Get them and wear them. What are you reading?
Speaker 1: So? Well? I put this book in the newsletter last week,
Speaker 1: but I've been reading. I'm on a Kristin Hannah kick,
Speaker 1: which is who wrote The Nightingale. But I'm saving The
Speaker 1: Nightingale because I want to read that, and I listen
Speaker 1: to all my books. So what's going to happen is
Speaker 1: I'm probably never going to read The Nightingale.
Speaker 2: No, you have to. I know it might be my
Speaker 2: favorite book ever, and I know I just finished it.
Speaker 2: But okay, it catapulted its first place.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, her my favorite book is one of her books.
Speaker 1: It was It's the Winter and the one that I
Speaker 1: months ago talked about.
Speaker 2: Well, that's what I need to read next.
Speaker 1: It's so good. But I'm reading listening to Four Wins,
Speaker 1: which is about the Great Depression and the dust Bowl
Speaker 1: and people moving to California for jobs and then the
Speaker 1: startup unions. Sounds so boring if you would have told
Speaker 1: me that. Oh literally, when it was done, I was
Speaker 1: upset that there wasn't more of it, like I wanted
Speaker 1: to keep going. Very good and you learn. That's the
Speaker 1: best part about historical fiction is you learn. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: I love learning.
Speaker 2: You know us learn learn, learn, which I sent you
Speaker 2: something to teach you something about cars and humans. We
Speaker 2: can end on that. It was an Instagram video that
Speaker 2: popped up of doctor Matt Townsend. He was doing looks
Speaker 2: like a podcast interview with somebody, and he looked like.
Speaker 1: The sweetest he did little man.
Speaker 2: At first, I was like, is he real?
Speaker 1: Is this ai?
Speaker 2: Like everything, I'm questioning everything, But he's I googled him.
Speaker 2: He's real. He's got a PhD. And he was talking
Speaker 2: about highly sensitive people. But he broke us into two categories.
Speaker 2: Humans put humans in two categories, Like you're either a
Speaker 2: Chevy or a Ferrari, Right, is that what he said?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Both are good cars. Both are great cars. It's not
Speaker 2: about that it's about horsepower. It's not about that it's
Speaker 2: a good car or not. It's that Ferraris. I don't
Speaker 2: know how many times faster, but he described highly sensitive
Speaker 2: people as being four times more sensitive to stimuli, smell, circumstances,
Speaker 2: emotional events, news, probably anything in the world. So that's
Speaker 2: more of like the Ferrari. So just for the sake
Speaker 2: of the story, it's probably does to have four times
Speaker 2: the horsepower. I don't know, but Ferraris are these people,
Speaker 2: and it made me think of you. And I was like,
Speaker 2: I think CAP might be a Ferrari, And so I
Speaker 2: send it to Kat and she was like, Okay, I
Speaker 2: think I am a little bit Like I don't think
Speaker 2: I'm a Chevy, but I don't think I'm a Ferrari.
Speaker 2: So then I googled what's in between and a lower
Speaker 2: end Porsche.
Speaker 1: Which I don't love that it says lower end. Can
Speaker 1: I just be a Porsche?
Speaker 2: Well, because there's certain Porsches, I guess Porsches, but do
Speaker 2: you know Porsches.
Speaker 1: Porsche, Yeah, you said it that way earlier feels elevated.
Speaker 2: So certain Porsches have more horsepower, like a super high
Speaker 2: I'm on the lower end.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm still high, and again the Chevy's still good.
Speaker 1: But I think also the information he was giving was
Speaker 1: to help people understand that these people have so many
Speaker 1: gifts to be more sensitive in that word sensitive not
Speaker 1: supposed to be negative. They have so many more gifts
Speaker 1: where they can attune to things differently, and they can
Speaker 1: prepare differently and all of that. But the problem is
Speaker 1: when you aren't aware of that, it's easy to get
Speaker 1: off track, and it's easy for all the stimuli to
Speaker 1: get you off the track versus help you get where
Speaker 1: you need to go faster. Yeah, you just said it
Speaker 1: in different words. Yeah.
Speaker 2: He was talking about how a Ferrari on a track
Speaker 2: is awesome, like it's doing its thing and it's gonna win.
Speaker 2: But yeah, you take it off the track and it's
Speaker 2: a little disaster.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So make sure if you're a highly sensitive person, you
Speaker 2: get on track, get it together, keep it together, be aware,
Speaker 2: be aware where the track is, be aware where the
Speaker 2: track is. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so where would you what would you be?
Speaker 2: Because yeah, I don't think that you're I'm not a Ferrari,
Speaker 2: but I don't think I'm a Chevy either.
Speaker 1: But I don't think you're at my level. Like I
Speaker 1: think I'm a little more sensitive than you, not in
Speaker 1: a I'm better than you.
Speaker 2: I think it's true a chill than yeah, like you
Speaker 2: have to get to the airport like five hours early,
Speaker 2: or like parking the other night we went to dinner
Speaker 2: and you were like, I have to hang up the phone.
Speaker 2: That's parking lot stressing me out. And then your husband
Speaker 2: is like he got there before you, and you got
Speaker 2: a really good parking spot on the street, and he
Speaker 2: even knows how you are, so he texted me and
Speaker 2: was like, hey, do you want my parking spot, because
Speaker 2: he knew that just giving you that spot would like
Speaker 2: then ease your mind.
Speaker 1: It was too stressful for me to switch and park
Speaker 1: into that spot because it was parallel, so I ended
Speaker 1: up parking in a big parking lot. He walked over
Speaker 1: in the rain to my car, got in the driver's seat,
Speaker 1: and then parked my car for me.
Speaker 2: Oh, and it.
Speaker 1: Was raining and it was dark, and I have a
Speaker 1: stigmatism and I can't see at night very well.
Speaker 2: Right to you being highly sensitive, it's just it's just
Speaker 2: one of the things I see you too, as like
Speaker 2: very intuitive and like I thank you. I trust your gut.
Speaker 1: You're more like flow a lot of times.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, but I just so organized my silverware precisely,
Speaker 2: oh very in a very precise way.
Speaker 1: When I got here today, I brought my oatmeal, but
Speaker 1: I didn't have a spoon, and so I opened her
Speaker 1: silver ward war and I just feel like I looked
Speaker 1: at you blankly and was like, that's gone on in
Speaker 1: this drawer because every spoon and fork is perfectly set
Speaker 1: on top of the next, and they even look pristine
Speaker 1: like there.
Speaker 2: And it's the way I stack them up and down
Speaker 2: like I have a method. Oh yeah, it's I don't
Speaker 2: know what it is, but I love when I'm unliving
Speaker 2: the dishwasher. I'm like, and one, I don't know that
Speaker 2: that's when your porch comes out. Maybe I'm like, I
Speaker 2: wish you would show up in other things because there's
Speaker 2: a lot of stuff. I don't need to be that
Speaker 2: organized at all. But that's a drawer that I take
Speaker 2: a lot of pride in it.
Speaker 1: I appreciate that drawer. It honestly, that dor calmed me
Speaker 1: down a little bit.
Speaker 2: Really Yeah, okay, good, happy I could do that. Okay,
Speaker 2: So just be aware where are you on the sensitivity
Speaker 2: scale and know when you're off track.
Speaker 1: Yeah cool, because.
Speaker 2: When you're off track, then get wet.
Speaker 1: Yeah another quote by anyone.
Speaker 2: All right, well, thank you for listening. We appreciate you
Speaker 2: so much. You can follow on socials, Feeling Things podcasts
Speaker 2: on Instagram, TikTok All the Things, and email us for
Speaker 2: couch talks. Hey there at Feeling Things podcast dot com.
Speaker 2: And we hope wherever you are, you are having the
Speaker 2: day you.
Speaker 1: Need to have. Bye.