Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of Alchemy. This signer guest
Speaker 1: host Cold Stratton in for KP. It's been a while.
Speaker 1: Happy to be here, guys. Let's meet everybody today. First up,
Speaker 1: it's Chris Alvarado. Chris, that's your celebrity man crush. It's
Speaker 1: a good question. Um, I don't have one right at
Speaker 1: the top, but I will say one time I stood
Speaker 1: next to I'm gonna I'm not gonna pronounce his name correctly.
Speaker 1: Leev Schreiber, Leave Schreiber. Yeah right. I stood next to
Speaker 1: him at the Emmy. He's not a big deal, helpful
Speaker 1: of years ago, and I was like, what a fucking
Speaker 1: man shoulders, a chest, a fucking jaw, And I felt
Speaker 1: like a child in that moment. Um, So I've always
Speaker 1: got a little thing for him after that nice I
Speaker 1: felt the same way standing next to Wallace Sean on
Speaker 1: a body get conceivable you would if you saw him?
Speaker 1: Uh uh. Next step, it's James Heeny, James Hene. What
Speaker 1: word you have trouble pronouncing? Is there a word that's
Speaker 1: always giving you a pause? I mean, there's a whole lunch,
Speaker 1: but there's only one that's caused me life threats on
Speaker 1: the internet. And it's the word infinite. Uh. People have
Speaker 1: really don't like the word infinite. And I don't know
Speaker 1: if I'm saying it right now and I corrected it,
Speaker 1: or if I still say it infinite wrong, infinite infinite.
Speaker 1: I don't know. There's infinite ways of saying it, James,
Speaker 1: That's what I've said. Yeah, I had people. It was
Speaker 1: one of the first YouTube videos I made, and people
Speaker 1: were like, I hope you go LIKEE killed, Like all
Speaker 1: the most awful things that you could say about a
Speaker 1: person was about the way I said the word infinite,
Speaker 1: just because I showed people how to get infinite coins
Speaker 1: in Mortal Kombat nine, one of those people telling you
Speaker 1: to die. Oh boy. Uh, Well, hopefully no one gets
Speaker 1: upset with today's episode. You'll find out. Well, the nice
Speaker 1: thing is is there's no comment sections, so I don't
Speaker 1: have to look at it. There you go. I'll hopefully
Speaker 1: you won't get infinite emails about it. Next up. It's
Speaker 1: it's all saying it's all historical musicals like Hamilton's and
Speaker 1: Stuffs are all arrage right now. But if you're to
Speaker 1: write a historical musical, what would the subject matter be?
Speaker 1: Would you want to bring it live on the stage.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, beautiful, beautiful question historical musical man Um, it's
Speaker 1: usually something Oh man, I don't that's a good that's
Speaker 1: a good question. I can I just tell you I'm
Speaker 1: I don't say I'm working on but I'm noodling a
Speaker 1: musical idea. My wife hates it. But it's about traffic.
Speaker 1: I just want to. I feel like it's a global
Speaker 1: thing that everyone gets, and so I wanna I write
Speaker 1: songs about taking left turns on without an arrow and
Speaker 1: being a certain distance behind how automated car technology is
Speaker 1: going to take. So I do think it will come
Speaker 1: to fruition, maybe in a couple of years. But yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a musical. I'd like to do pick we all know,
Speaker 1: with everybody stuck in traffic, trying to get to the
Speaker 1: seven thirty curtain for traffic, and then be a whole
Speaker 1: meta thing. I'll place curtains right at the worst traffic
Speaker 1: time and every city perfect. I love that. Uh last,
Speaker 1: but certainly not least. Craig Kikowski, you know, the dumb
Speaker 1: slap made all the headlines at the Oscars, But what
Speaker 1: did you think of the ceremony in general? Um, the
Speaker 1: it was not good. Yeah, yeah, my my feelings are
Speaker 1: too uh long and complex. Maybe get into the slap
Speaker 1: actually made it as awful as that was, made it
Speaker 1: way more interesting and compelling to to talk about. I
Speaker 1: think the worst thing was the in memoriam segments. And
Speaker 1: I think the thinking was like, well, you know, it's
Speaker 1: always such a bummer when we sing a sad song
Speaker 1: and show pictures of people who died. Let's make it
Speaker 1: upbeat this year, and so I think ding dong, the
Speaker 1: which is dead. The desire to to be different by
Speaker 1: being opposite, uh seemed to run through the ceremony, and
Speaker 1: then the cutting out all those awards uh was a
Speaker 1: bad idea, and that they were awkwardly edited into the ceremony. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was poorly done. Yeah, I agree, but the ratings
Speaker 1: were way up, so unfortunately. Maybe that's the thing. Uh yeah.
Speaker 1: The immemorial thing made me crazy, not only because it
Speaker 1: was like upbeat, but they spent so much time lingering
Speaker 1: on the choir in front of the screens and not
Speaker 1: the people on the screens in the background, which is
Speaker 1: like you don't ever need to see them, Like it
Speaker 1: should just be the feet of the screen and you
Speaker 1: can hear it. But like at least it was better
Speaker 1: than the previous year, where they did them so fast
Speaker 1: you couldn't actually like, like read the names before they
Speaker 1: moved on to the next one. People who died, give
Speaker 1: them their give them their moment in the sun. It's
Speaker 1: all about the ratings, all right, Well, let's do a
Speaker 1: damn show, shall we. All of our suggestions are gathered
Speaker 1: from listeners, emails, or from our Patreon v I p s.
Speaker 1: To become a Patreon supporter of the show and enjoy
Speaker 1: exclusive content and other perks, just head on over to
Speaker 1: Patreon dot com slash alchemy this. You'd like to submit
Speaker 1: a scene suggestion via email, please write to the podcast
Speaker 1: at alchemy this email at gmail dot com. That's com come.
Speaker 1: Scene one is from listener Tamila, who wrote, Hello Gang,
Speaker 1: I absolutely love your podcast and I've been listening since
Speaker 1: the very beginning. I heard you are in dire need
Speaker 1: of scene suggestions, so I decided to finally send you
Speaker 1: all an email. It was a ton of those that
Speaker 1: came to. The emails worked. It worked. My scene suggestion
Speaker 1: is a new clothing store with no clothes on display,
Speaker 1: only written notes describing what it feels like to wear it.
Speaker 1: No refunds. Can't wait to see what happens. Hi, I'm
Speaker 1: sorry that I am I interrupting. Oh no, I'm here
Speaker 1: to serve you. Oh can I help you today? Great? Um,
Speaker 1: I'm such a casual, slubby guy typically, but I have
Speaker 1: a big event coming up. Really, and you want to
Speaker 1: impress people, I assume. Yeah. And I want to impress
Speaker 1: my date for sure, And yeah, yeah I wanna, I wanna.
Speaker 1: I want to shine it up a bit. Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: I don't have this out on the floor. This is
Speaker 1: something special. Let me write it down right on this
Speaker 1: post it note and I'll stick it right to your chest.
Speaker 1: That would look great on you. It says, um soft
Speaker 1: and shiny? Does that? And shiny? Is that coming a
Speaker 1: medium or like a medium tall? It's it'll be. Let
Speaker 1: me just put Let me stand a little further back
Speaker 1: from you so I can get your whole body in
Speaker 1: my view. It will be your size, perfectly fit. Oh wow,
Speaker 1: soft texture is soft. The visuals that you get from
Speaker 1: it are shiny. I was a little curious and like,
Speaker 1: I'm out like that guy. But you know, maybe perhaps
Speaker 1: I could make a little statement while I'm out there,
Speaker 1: because I saw hanging over there um was the note? Um? Wow? Factor?
Speaker 1: Is that is that something I can pull? I don't
Speaker 1: think that would be for you. I don't think that.
Speaker 1: But you know what, let me take this post and
Speaker 1: not back. Yeah, we go and we're gonna write political
Speaker 1: statement and then that's now it. Wow, that looks really
Speaker 1: good on you. So should I bring it out? It's
Speaker 1: off and shining with the political What are you wearing?
Speaker 1: I like, yeah, well this isn't from here. Oh this
Speaker 1: is uh, this was a gift for Christmas and so,
Speaker 1: and my mother's visiting me here today, so I wanted
Speaker 1: to make sure to wear it. Gotcha. It's crazy this
Speaker 1: all these hangers and they're just there's just notes everywhere
Speaker 1: I dig it. You knew we've had a lot of shoplifters. Hey,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I know it says no, and I know
Speaker 1: that's a big thing, but I misread the post and
Speaker 1: now I thought it said all that and a bag
Speaker 1: of chips, and it says all that or a bag
Speaker 1: of chips, and I was really hoping to have both.
Speaker 1: And people looked at the south and they clearly said
Speaker 1: like your maybe pringles and I was like, that's not
Speaker 1: doesn't come in a bag. But uh, anyways, it's just
Speaker 1: I mean, I know I just exchange it is there
Speaker 1: an exchange. I'm so sorry, but it's a strict policy.
Speaker 1: We don't and I hate to have this conversation in
Speaker 1: front of a potential cost. But if you won't, you
Speaker 1: could meet me around back in about fifteen minutes and
Speaker 1: we can discuss it. We discuss it for the potential
Speaker 1: cust it's short for customer. Oh, you are potential cust.
Speaker 1: So if you go back around the back in about
Speaker 1: fifteen minutes, I'll meet you there and we'll talk about
Speaker 1: the refund policy. It so wouldn't work to just come
Speaker 1: back in fifteen minutes and in the shop. We need
Speaker 1: to do. This is the type of thing that we'll
Speaker 1: do in the back alley. You and I can have
Speaker 1: that conversation out back in the alley. Rafael, open the door, Rafael,
Speaker 1: open the door. Listen. I know you're in their designing
Speaker 1: and designing, but the stores need merch I'm working. I
Speaker 1: can hear I can hear the sharpie going going crazy
Speaker 1: in there. But we can't wait until inspiration strikes you. Rafael.
Speaker 1: The stores need merchandise, they need stuff. I'm working. Let
Speaker 1: me open the door. What is it? God, there's blood
Speaker 1: everywhere in here. This is why I didn't open the door.
Speaker 1: I have a method, and I don't like to be
Speaker 1: questioned about it. I'm so sorry. I'm just your assistant.
Speaker 1: I'm just telling you what I'm hearing from the stores.
Speaker 1: What do they want? Tell me what they want? They
Speaker 1: want you, Rafael, they want your mind, they want they
Speaker 1: want it all. That's that's what I'm giving them, the
Speaker 1: putting the energy out. I guess that they wanted in
Speaker 1: a in a timely fashion. You know who they didn't
Speaker 1: ask for timily fashion? Ralph as I say, Alexander McQueen him.
Speaker 1: Are you the cust too? Wanted to make a return? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I was about to come back here around the back
Speaker 1: of the Yeah yeah, I handle returns in the back alley.
Speaker 1: You're a you're rather large. You're a I'm a big guy.
Speaker 1: I can't shop here because I got to go to
Speaker 1: a big and tell store right whether the posted notes
Speaker 1: are bigger? So what's your problem? Cussed? Well, you can
Speaker 1: see from I misread the note. I I own that
Speaker 1: I made a slight mistake here, but I thought I
Speaker 1: said all that and a bag of chips and it
Speaker 1: says all that or a bag of chips, and for
Speaker 1: the price I pay it, I feel like I should
Speaker 1: be all that and a bag of chips. You see,
Speaker 1: you want a bag of chips. I I'd like to
Speaker 1: be that as well as all that. It's like it's
Speaker 1: like your everything, but then a little something extra. That's
Speaker 1: kind of what I thought would happen when I bought
Speaker 1: this outfit, and it's been frankly underwhelming. People have had
Speaker 1: to chew sides of what they think I have And okay,
Speaker 1: well I was letting you get all that out just
Speaker 1: to amuse myself, but I'm gonna beat you up. Basically,
Speaker 1: it's what's gonna happen. Now. I kind of saw this
Speaker 1: coming and yeah, yeah, yeah, we we we We just
Speaker 1: got a role to play and that's what's happening, right.
Speaker 1: Could you just I'm a hand model, so could you
Speaker 1: just leave those leave the hands alone on the face
Speaker 1: of the stomach. Okay, great, So we've decided to have
Speaker 1: this shiny soft political statement. I'm going to bring it
Speaker 1: out here to you once you pay for it, but
Speaker 1: that's final. I don't want I don't want any mistake.
Speaker 1: You need to understand that's a final sale. Okay, I'm
Speaker 1: familiar with that without with that idea. Okay, let's let's
Speaker 1: see it. Let's see it. That great. Let me bring
Speaker 1: it out to you and I'd like to unveil it.
Speaker 1: Go ahead and unwrap it now. Okay. Wow, that is shiny.
Speaker 1: That is shiny. Feel it? Oh? That is soft? That
Speaker 1: is soft? And I'm the back. It just says, proud boy?
Speaker 1: Is this not great? Is that in blood? Yes? It's
Speaker 1: it's just perfect for you. You're gonna love it at
Speaker 1: whatever party you go to. I don't know that feels weird.
Speaker 1: So what am I saying here? I'm proud to be
Speaker 1: a boy? Yeah, it's it's I'm not entirely sure about
Speaker 1: the movement, but it's it's got a lot of proudness
Speaker 1: to it, and it brings a lot of the masculinity.
Speaker 1: You're a proud boy that boss. Just want to let
Speaker 1: you know that return is complete. Oh thank you. If
Speaker 1: you need any ice, it's in the freezer. All right. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna need a lot of eyes. Why is his
Speaker 1: coming in blood? Did he buy that shirt here? He was? No? No, no,
Speaker 1: he's too tall. He would never clothes here. No, absolutely not.
Speaker 1: But okay, Oh, we have your R s v P
Speaker 1: right here. Welcome to the gala. Lovely jacket, by the way,
Speaker 1: thank you so much. Alright, excuse me, sir, I just
Speaker 1: saw the back of this. Yeah, proud boy. Um, hold on,
Speaker 1: let me let me get my manager making a statement. Okay,
Speaker 1: on the second, Hold on the second, let me get
Speaker 1: my galla manager. Yeah, yeah, all right, Teddy over here,
Speaker 1: Teddy over the front, Teddy to the front. Are you
Speaker 1: proud of anything this job? Sorry, I'm pretty sure we're
Speaker 1: not going to be allowing you to wear that inside
Speaker 1: the gala. This is the New York Times bestsellers list. Galla. Oh,
Speaker 1: I'm familiar. I'm an inspiring author myself. Yes, But Teddy
Speaker 1: to the front, Teddy to the front. Um, Yes, but
Speaker 1: you saw my name right in the R s v P.
Speaker 1: It is. But we do have a dress code that
Speaker 1: says that Teddy, Teddy, thank you. I saw you today. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I got I got a bunch of jobs. I'm free.
Speaker 1: Lets I also managed this gallery. That's the nice tuxedo
Speaker 1: at the at the no, I get the biggest call.
Speaker 1: So you're an insurrectionist? What now you're you're an insurrectionist.
Speaker 1: We can't have you. We can't have you at the gallery.
Speaker 1: There might be some sort of mistake. I'm just saying.
Speaker 1: I'm proud, you know, I'm proud of who I am.
Speaker 1: I'm a proud boy. Stomach and hands, face, stomach and
Speaker 1: hands and hands. Yeah, okay, I love it, like work
Speaker 1: in the hands. All right? Can we just do the
Speaker 1: shoot quickly? I'm in a lot of pain. Let me
Speaker 1: just I'll put my hands in front of the box
Speaker 1: of diamonds and you just shoot it. Okay, just shoot
Speaker 1: it please. Um. I don't mean to be this guy,
Speaker 1: but you're making the rest of the crew sick, your
Speaker 1: faces mangled, and you're missing all your teeth. I know.
Speaker 1: I just I tried to make a return. And I
Speaker 1: gotta say the Alex when when his hands are in
Speaker 1: the frame, I mean, they're as immaculate as always. They
Speaker 1: are beautiful, right, I mean that's what we're here to do. Um,
Speaker 1: what were you saying? Happened to you? I'm trying to
Speaker 1: make a return and a long story, uh, I just
Speaker 1: thought I had to be and a bag of chips
Speaker 1: and anyways, let's just shoot the shoot the thing. Please?
Speaker 1: Those are beautiful let's look at the monitor. Whoa those hands,
Speaker 1: that's amazing work. They look good. All right, yeah, hold
Speaker 1: those diamonds. Hold those diamonds bleeding from the ear. It's okay,
Speaker 1: as long as it doesn't get in the shot. I
Speaker 1: think we're okay. I think we're okay. Okay, you get it.
Speaker 1: My equilibriums off. Um hi, I was here a couple
Speaker 1: of days ago. I recognize you. I never forget a
Speaker 1: customer and oh they're sick anyway, Um, I know, and
Speaker 1: I listen. I understand policies and stuff. Um uh huh,
Speaker 1: get it, so you don't have to remind me. It's
Speaker 1: just I think you go on. Maybe they could be
Speaker 1: an exception made. I like to reach return the jacket.
Speaker 1: I understand what you mean. All you have to do
Speaker 1: for returns we do them out in the back alley. Sure, okay, wow, hey,
Speaker 1: thank you so much. Problem. By the way, I like
Speaker 1: this clearance section here. It's just what do you have here? Small?
Speaker 1: In other words? Okay, yeah, it was just from last year.
Speaker 1: From last year. All hey, look who it is. We
Speaker 1: keep running into each other. Sorry I had to kick
Speaker 1: you out of that gallery. No, it's Teddy, right, it's turn.
Speaker 1: Do you play any sports? Oh? No, now more of
Speaker 1: an arts you guy. Listen. Hey, so am I and
Speaker 1: I'm actually a writer. I don't know if you know
Speaker 1: that about me, but um, I'm starting a game with
Speaker 1: that at the l A Fitness on fourth, we could
Speaker 1: use the guy your size. Really, yeah, you don't you
Speaker 1: have to do much, just throw the ball, all right.
Speaker 1: Clearly that was a foul. Clearly that was a foul.
Speaker 1: He just kept pummeling my face with his elbow. I
Speaker 1: didn't see it. I didn't hear it was. We didn't
Speaker 1: see whistle and then see it either. I'm more of
Speaker 1: an art guy. Sorry. Hi, Um, this is a nice store.
Speaker 1: Can I just get a full box of post its? Oh?
Speaker 1: This is? This is a clothing store? Yeah, but you
Speaker 1: sell the you sell these, right, I don't sell these? No,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I mean you could go to some sort
Speaker 1: of office store. I just don't go to Flaurien asked
Speaker 1: him to give you denim? You want him to make
Speaker 1: you an outfit, right, I don't know, Ralph Lauren. I
Speaker 1: don't shop by going to talk to Rolph Lauren. Me neither.
Speaker 1: And you wouldn't go there, and you wouldn't ask for
Speaker 1: the materials to build a shirt. Sorry, I feel paper clips.
Speaker 1: I'm just browsing here. I think paper clips would have
Speaker 1: been a better analogy there. Right, you don't go to
Speaker 1: rough Lauren to ask him for paper clips because he's
Speaker 1: asking for office applies because you said Rolf Lauren and
Speaker 1: Denham and that feels kind of ruff l. Lauren has
Speaker 1: great denom. Anyway, I'm just gonna go back to browsing
Speaker 1: over here. All right. Well, maybe it was my uh sorry,
Speaker 1: Mr Lauren, it's really slow. Somebody's dissuading people from coming
Speaker 1: in and and asking you for things. It's I know
Speaker 1: it's been weeks since we've had a cust potential custom here.
Speaker 1: But uh, I'm sorry man, he mum, he wants to
Speaker 1: be called Rafael now, oh don't Yeah, it's not Rough Lauren,
Speaker 1: it's Rafael. Now. I'm working. I'm I'm sorry, Rapael. H
Speaker 1: I'll try to jump up some business for you. Just
Speaker 1: leave it at the door. I'm working. I don't know
Speaker 1: what I'm supposed to leave at the door here. I'm
Speaker 1: trying to help drum up some business for you. But look,
Speaker 1: I don't I know this has been I'm his assistant,
Speaker 1: you know, me. It's been it's been weird. It's been weird. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I can imagine. Um, you know, a bunch of assistants
Speaker 1: are having a meeting behind the building. If you want
Speaker 1: to wait, what a bunch of assistants are having meeting
Speaker 1: behind the building, like a fifteen minutes. I didn't get that.
Speaker 1: There's no email or anything. No, it's definitely happening. It's
Speaker 1: a real thing, and it's happening in fifteen minutes, and
Speaker 1: you should definitely go back there. I will see you there,
Speaker 1: I see you there. I'm going to be there as well.
Speaker 1: So I've been hired to beat you up. Sorry about that.
Speaker 1: I don't even know what it's for. Really, if you
Speaker 1: want to plead your case now go ahead. No, I
Speaker 1: think whatever it is, either serve this okay. Any areas
Speaker 1: that I should concentrate on and not concentrate on when
Speaker 1: I kick your ass? Oh this is so nice of you. Sure, sure,
Speaker 1: I don't think I used my back or shoulders much.
Speaker 1: If you can maybe focus on that area, just go
Speaker 1: to town them back, so mostly hit the back of
Speaker 1: the shoulders. I feel like you're trying. You're trying, you sneak,
Speaker 1: you try to get a massage out of this and
Speaker 1: that's our first scene. C Number two is from Alchemy
Speaker 1: v I. P. Patrick C who wrote hey gang scene suggestion.
Speaker 1: In the future, internet security is way more complex, invasive
Speaker 1: and explicit. What would be the most outlandish and intrusive
Speaker 1: capture and human verification ever thought of for a website?
Speaker 1: Keep up the great work, Pat, thank you for using
Speaker 1: Chase Bank a t M S to verify you. Please
Speaker 1: check which one of these following things is real? This
Speaker 1: is weird. This is just for an a t M
Speaker 1: bicycle Okay, bicycles real tire tires are real. Idea of
Speaker 1: world peace okay, I mean the idea is real, whether
Speaker 1: you get actually old peace okay, garbage garbage, definitely real.
Speaker 1: I guess world peace. You have advanced to the excuse me,
Speaker 1: excuse me, you've been flagged as not a human being. Uh,
Speaker 1: you failed the cap. I'm just trying to use this
Speaker 1: a t M. Listen, robot, get out of here. I'm
Speaker 1: not humans only. Well you didn't. You weren't able to
Speaker 1: tell what was real and what's not really what you're
Speaker 1: saying that world piece is a thing, but the what's
Speaker 1: the right answer there? Because what did you answer what
Speaker 1: did you answer, Ashold? I answered world peace, but also
Speaker 1: the option. There was an option, the idea of world peace?
Speaker 1: Is it real or not? I thought that was real.
Speaker 1: You get the funk out of here. Um, wow, this
Speaker 1: is such a nice restaurant. Thank you. I've been it's
Speaker 1: been fun chatting with you online. Now we're like in
Speaker 1: person having a date, and this is this is exciting.
Speaker 1: It is exciting. I am this. I've been looking. I mean,
Speaker 1: you're your delight. I have to say you are. You
Speaker 1: are a delight. Look before we go in your further
Speaker 1: it's like so dumb, but it's just like you're like
Speaker 1: too good to be true. Um, would you mind? Would
Speaker 1: you mind answering a few questions on this app? It's
Speaker 1: just because you know, like AI so like prevalent these days.
Speaker 1: I mean, you're not I know, you're not a I
Speaker 1: know you're I'm not an I am, but I'm happy.
Speaker 1: I'm happy to do it. Oh God, you're like perfect. Okay,
Speaker 1: here's my phone. Just answer for you. These questions start.
Speaker 1: Let's start talking soon, okay, Right. The following questions are
Speaker 1: to be answered true or false. So dumb, but just
Speaker 1: go with it. Do most tables have four legs. Uh,
Speaker 1: I mean most So that's kind of hard to do
Speaker 1: with true. False. It's it's pretty than most um, but
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say true. Oh, okay, you scared me there.
Speaker 1: The country of Mexico exists. That's that's definitely true. You're like,
Speaker 1: so I love this dress. You're worried by the way too. Okay,
Speaker 1: this is good. Being angry is something that can happen.
Speaker 1: Being angry is something that I can scor check. Please
Speaker 1: thinking the check, please attack gack gil gil gil, Hey mom,
Speaker 1: Hey dad, hey son? By the wrong face. It happened again.
Speaker 1: You went on another day with a bot? Ah, Like,
Speaker 1: am I not good enough? Is that? What's going on here? No? No,
Speaker 1: you're you're too good? Yeah, well, but why don't you
Speaker 1: just try about for a while. What's like, maybe have
Speaker 1: a bot until you find something about your mom? Has
Speaker 1: a point? Why where are you taking all these steps
Speaker 1: to go through these intrusive tests if you're having a
Speaker 1: good time, does it really matter whether she's a bot
Speaker 1: or not? Kind of a good point, Dad, I mean,
Speaker 1: it was kind of the point that I was making.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's our it's it's us. We both have
Speaker 1: good parentings. You're always done my back dead your mother alone. Okay, hey,
Speaker 1: we'll do your mother's perfect in every way, thank you? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean she was programmed to be perfect in every way. No,
Speaker 1: I know, mom, it's like no offense to you at all.
Speaker 1: I love O none taken. I'm not programmed to be offended,
Speaker 1: just like that may be like I don't know, I'm
Speaker 1: just a dreamer. Anyway, I'm gonna hit the sack. Have
Speaker 1: you dated a robot before? Um? Unintentionally? Yeah, but this
Speaker 1: is my first I know you're a robot date. Oh okay,
Speaker 1: so you're this is your freaky digie time. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: this is this could be where I'm I'm I'm in
Speaker 1: it for the long haul. By the way, I pre
Speaker 1: ordered before you got here. I got you a cup
Speaker 1: of oil. That's great. Great, No, No, I want to
Speaker 1: know about you and what makes you tick? And you
Speaker 1: know what are your likes and dislikes. What makes me
Speaker 1: tick is an Intel thirty two processor. That's hot. That's hot?
Speaker 1: What makes you tick? Uh? This thing the old heart? Hey?
Speaker 1: You do? Here? You go order Holpin your poppers for
Speaker 1: you and a large penzil for the robit there. Hey,
Speaker 1: enjoy it. If you want to refill, you just tapped
Speaker 1: a little button at the end of the table here
Speaker 1: and it'll fly me down. I'll come refill it for
Speaker 1: your robit. Thank you sir so much. This is weird
Speaker 1: because we're having a great time. Um weird. Well, what
Speaker 1: I'm about to say is gonna be weird. You're right,
Speaker 1: that was I just gonna make sure you're robot. Like
Speaker 1: I know it's I had this app and I'm just like,
Speaker 1: I don't want to get fooled again. If you don't
Speaker 1: mind just by robots who turned out to be human. No, no,
Speaker 1: you're right, You're right. I I worded that. I worded
Speaker 1: that incorrectly. I'm a fucking idiot. Um, but I just
Speaker 1: say yourself up. No, No, I'm just I'm not doing well, okay.
Speaker 1: I just want to fucking connection with somebody or frankly
Speaker 1: at this point something, So if you wouldn't mind answering
Speaker 1: three simple questions off this app to make sure you
Speaker 1: are who you are, maybe we can have a great
Speaker 1: life together. Mm hmmm, sorry, No, that's okay. Um, I'll answer,
Speaker 1: but then I will leave after her. That's probably fair.
Speaker 1: Here you go, Thank you. Which of these things are
Speaker 1: real triangle yes, raccoon, yes, croatia yes, rare signoric month
Speaker 1: and oh that's no did no? Wow? Well yep, you
Speaker 1: proved it. You're a robot. I'm an idiot. I couldn't help.
Speaker 1: But over here and there, have you tried taking the
Speaker 1: robot test yourself? That's this guy just saying, you know,
Speaker 1: have you ever tried it? Yeah? Take the test. I
Speaker 1: don't need to do that. I know I got that's
Speaker 1: a that's a heartbeat. That's a heartbeat. Al right, so
Speaker 1: we're gonna see. I'm taking the m I a robot test?
Speaker 1: Is that right? Yeah? Okay, it should be pretty easy.
Speaker 1: By the way, these Halli paint poppers are incredible. Is
Speaker 1: that is that cream cheese? How you got it? Wasn't
Speaker 1: supposed to tell you? Alright? The stupid happening? Wow? Look
Speaker 1: who's back already from his day? How did it go?
Speaker 1: Where's mom? What do you mean? Where's mom? She's probably
Speaker 1: you know, clinking up? Or I know you know what,
Speaker 1: I know what I know here, you know what, I'll
Speaker 1: prove it to you. I'm gonna pull out the chef's knife.
Speaker 1: I know I can plunge this through my throat and
Speaker 1: I'll be fine. Dad. Wait wait wait wait wait wait
Speaker 1: wait wait wait okay, look, you know you know your
Speaker 1: mother's a robot, right, You've always known that, and you've
Speaker 1: known that I'm a human human? Uh huh, So how
Speaker 1: does that work? Exact? Actually? How does that work? How
Speaker 1: did you? How did you come into being? I'm an idiot.
Speaker 1: I love thinking idiot. You never put two and two together.
Speaker 1: I never did. I just thought somehow your love or
Speaker 1: something created me. And you know what, you know what?
Speaker 1: I never wondered why you've been the same size for
Speaker 1: twenty years. No, okay, well that's that's part of your programming.
Speaker 1: Oh man, it all makes sense now. I've been your
Speaker 1: best friend for fifteen years and it's just it all.
Speaker 1: It all checks the boxes. Now, I wonder why you
Speaker 1: always made me buy the concert tickets online. It all clicks.
Speaker 1: Are we still good? Yeah? I mean you're still my
Speaker 1: my guy. You know you're still my bro. It's just
Speaker 1: just a lot to take in, you know, it's a lot.
Speaker 1: It's weird. You start going back in your mind, right,
Speaker 1: those memories, Right, I made you buy the concert tic kids,
Speaker 1: and right you would never go in the swimming pool ever,
Speaker 1: you would never swim. I thought I thought frankly, I
Speaker 1: thought I was just shy of my of my belly.
Speaker 1: But now this's deeper meaning to it. Who pull over? Okay? Uh,
Speaker 1: you should probably pull it to the side. But all right,
Speaker 1: all right, okay, I wonder what this could be about.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Uh, you just ran eight traffic lights.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, you're not able to identify a traffic light.
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry, Officer, I guess I can't. Officer. Are
Speaker 1: you are you human or bought? I'm a bot? Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm also a bot. But I just learned I'm about
Speaker 1: so come on, can okay? Okay? So I'm supposed to
Speaker 1: take it easy on you. I just I mean, I
Speaker 1: just learned, Like did you always know? Is there a
Speaker 1: moment where you learned you were a bot? Look? I
Speaker 1: was programmed to be able to identify palm trees and
Speaker 1: uh traffic okay, those crosswalks? Yes, uh, those are my
Speaker 1: three specialties. Okay, And the officer, can you read these
Speaker 1: like numbers and letters in this little squiggly box here? Sure,
Speaker 1: lowercase B, seven, lowercase C, upper case X to three.
Speaker 1: You're good. You're an advanced you're advanced. I'm advanced. I'm advanced,
Speaker 1: but there's ore there's other things I'm not good at. Okay,
Speaker 1: the officer, If you're programmed to do all this, how
Speaker 1: do I know what I'm programmed to do? Programmed to
Speaker 1: beat or programmed to feel? M hm, that's a good question. Um,
Speaker 1: maybe access your your inner memory. Oh yeah, you can
Speaker 1: just just do that. You can say it out loud
Speaker 1: if that helps, or you can just do it. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'll access inner memory. Now, accessing inner memory? Did you
Speaker 1: guys hear that? Or is that just in my mind?
Speaker 1: That's probably just in your head. Just you just do Okay.
Speaker 1: I'm seeing like a lot of files. How may we
Speaker 1: help you? I'm a click click on, click on core programming,
Speaker 1: Core programming, Core Programming, Core Programming accessed. Oh, I see
Speaker 1: one file called purpose? Is that where? That's probably it? Okay,
Speaker 1: selecting purpose to open purpose. We have to do a test.
Speaker 1: There's a test. Another take a test. Yeah, that's standard. Alright,
Speaker 1: might as well spell yes, spell bridge? I got I
Speaker 1: gotta spell bride. That's easy, six letter word. Yeah, it's easy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're know how to spell bridge, right, there's six letters
Speaker 1: of it. Yeah, ten seconds to comply. The first letter
Speaker 1: was first letter b B. Wait what happens if he
Speaker 1: doesn't comply in ten seconds? We will now self destruct.
Speaker 1: I think he's gonna self destruct. Oh god? What the
Speaker 1: fund was the program for? What was his purpose? He's
Speaker 1: got to post it on the front of him there,
Speaker 1: t B D, it says, T B D. Oh no,
Speaker 1: so he even if he had gotten bridge right there,
Speaker 1: the file would have been empty. And be honest, I
Speaker 1: feel bad about pulling you guys over, but you were
Speaker 1: running lights like Willie Nilly. I understand, Officer, have a
Speaker 1: good after noon. Uh, scientists Carter, we need to have
Speaker 1: a ward with you and your team. It's just the
Speaker 1: two of us, okays. I never got your assistance name.
Speaker 1: He's also a scientist, So scantis Phil, you can just
Speaker 1: call me scientists Phil. Listen, it's been brought to our
Speaker 1: attention that you were Can I just stop you? Is
Speaker 1: it the fact that the lower case X and the
Speaker 1: capital X are so similar, just different sizes? Because I've
Speaker 1: been complaining the whole time about it. No, it's not that, scientists, Phil,
Speaker 1: it's the idea that you two are producing robots without purpose?
Speaker 1: Is this that you too, sick motherfucker's is this because
Speaker 1: sometimes you can't tell the difference between a zero and Oh?
Speaker 1: Is that what this is about. No, I've made it clear.
Speaker 1: It's because you're producing robots without purpose. We never produced
Speaker 1: robots without purpose one. Really, we're always files here, I
Speaker 1: have lists here, I have lists here. Yeah, t B D.
Speaker 1: Is this what you're upset about? It's to be determined.
Speaker 1: That robat was to be determined. It was programmed to
Speaker 1: be determined, be very forceful. He knew what he wanted always.
Speaker 1: What happened to this spot? Oh you mean you mean
Speaker 1: child to program to be they have the quality of
Speaker 1: determination of yes, Oh my god. We also have t
Speaker 1: B A to be asshole this program that. Yeah that
Speaker 1: I know that, I know. Okay, okay, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. I'm gonna I'm i'm a suit and
Speaker 1: I come in here to your laboratory and I start,
Speaker 1: you know, making accusations, and I'm I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: Give me this patch, give me this pat what Wait? Hold,
Speaker 1: I don't think you have the authority to do that. Sorry,
Speaker 1: we're not showing sure, we're always just in the lab working.
Speaker 1: And well, one last thing, Yeah, those exs are weird.
Speaker 1: Well some of those are actually plus signs tilted. And
Speaker 1: that's our second scene, our final scene see threes from
Speaker 1: Alchemy V. I P. David Burke, who wrote greetings Mr
Speaker 1: Pollock or whoever is reading this message. It's been a
Speaker 1: long time since I submitted a scene suggestion. But after
Speaker 1: listening to a dry bar comedian trash improv troops, not
Speaker 1: only did I get angry and offended for you guys,
Speaker 1: it gave me this scene suggestion. Stand up comedians fight
Speaker 1: improv comedians to the death. Thank you again for all
Speaker 1: you do. I'd love to tell you that comedian was,
Speaker 1: but out of professionalism, I shouldn't mention his name. Right. Cough,
Speaker 1: Jordan's making cough And that's our show. Thank you so much, everybody.
Speaker 1: We've been the chuckle heads and you guys have a
Speaker 1: great night, ye everybody. Chads, you guys ran long, all right,
Speaker 1: we got a stand up show right now. Just gets
Speaker 1: so sorry. We had a group mind thing going on, Chad,
Speaker 1: when you were like, I am the ducking a ship
Speaker 1: about your duck group mind. All right, stand ups are here.
Speaker 1: The real show is about to start. Okay, okay, fine,
Speaker 1: we'll get out of your hair. No, no, no, this
Speaker 1: is one occasion that this improv troop is not gonna Yes,
Speaker 1: and you know what, I think we could do a
Speaker 1: second set. Take your hand off of my hive mindsets.
Speaker 1: We should probably do one more long form, go back
Speaker 1: on that stage. It's war. Maybe we shouldn't do this,
Speaker 1: but I mean we gotta yes, and him, we gotta
Speaker 1: support him. He's he threw it out there. Okay, I
Speaker 1: guess we've gotta follow the follower at this point. If
Speaker 1: you'll be the follower and then you can follow me, Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I'll be following you all. We've got your back
Speaker 1: and beat the ship. We're gonna do another set, don't
Speaker 1: do it. I mean, there's three of us in one
Speaker 1: of you. Yeah. The other comics are late. They'll be
Speaker 1: here any second, but well they're really late because nobody
Speaker 1: else's here. Yeah. Also yeah, Also, you guys are like loners,
Speaker 1: like lone wolves like we were. Well, I was gonna
Speaker 1: make another wolf analogy. We were in a pack. We're
Speaker 1: a wolf pack in their lone wolf. Yeah that's right, yes,
Speaker 1: and and and and we got you outnumbered. Hey, hey,
Speaker 1: quit trying to corner me, which just leave me alone.
Speaker 1: You smell this guy, it's fear. It's it's fear. Water. Huh, guys,
Speaker 1: get get away from me. Man, my other stand up
Speaker 1: friends are gonna be here any second, and then you
Speaker 1: guys are gonna be fucked. Doubt it. I don't think so.
Speaker 1: I think what we should do. Oh my god, Rick
Speaker 1: improvisers did this to you. Improvisers. They let my hands go,
Speaker 1: but they hit everything else pretty bad, really focused on
Speaker 1: my back and shoulders. Improvisers are known for being super
Speaker 1: buff and manly. Uh oh man, all right, you know
Speaker 1: we got we got your back. You know, I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't want to see him again. Man, those guys
Speaker 1: really rough me up. I think we got to send
Speaker 1: a message. They send a message, clearly, we got to
Speaker 1: send a message back. You know. Yeah, the whole whole
Speaker 1: stand up community has got your got your back. Doesn't
Speaker 1: doesn't sound like at all that what you just said. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: I mean we've we've got your back. I'm I'm known
Speaker 1: for having kind of a sarcastic persona, but I'm being
Speaker 1: really sincere here. Yeah, and honestly, after I'm done with
Speaker 1: my set, I actually got another set and silverly, so
Speaker 1: I kind of got a jet right away. Otherwise I
Speaker 1: would stay and have your back. Yeah, that's the thing.
Speaker 1: I would say the same thing too. You know, we
Speaker 1: we gotta do like hell of funny over in Chatsworth
Speaker 1: and then punch punch lines over in uh San pedro Um.
Speaker 1: But you know, if you like, pick a night like
Speaker 1: maybe like a Monday. Actually, if it's to daytime, then
Speaker 1: there's only open mics that I'd be missing, that's true.
Speaker 1: But the one is getting really good down at Folding
Speaker 1: Wash on third, it's impossible. Folding Wash is a great venue. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's a I mean if you can get them when
Speaker 1: they're getting their quarters. Like that was sarcasm. Fold and
Speaker 1: Wash fucking sucks. Oh that was pretty good sarcast and
Speaker 1: I didn't even catch effects. You're operated on level man. Alright, alright,
Speaker 1: welcome to my theater. Welcome to my theater. So let
Speaker 1: me get this straight. You want to have a night
Speaker 1: where you have stand up the im problem the same night,
Speaker 1: and then it's gonna end in some kind of battle
Speaker 1: of physical battle. Is that? Is that what I'm understanding here? Yeah,
Speaker 1: a cage match. You see, we've done cage matches be
Speaker 1: here before, and it's just really it's a weird. First
Speaker 1: of all, why compete, you know, for funny? It seems
Speaker 1: like that the art form gets lost. We're not competing
Speaker 1: for funny, We're competing for life. Okay, okay, now this
Speaker 1: is still a bringer, right, yeah. Yeah, we'll bring people
Speaker 1: and we'll make them buy drinks. Okay, Okay, we just
Speaker 1: in this debate once and all. So what am I?
Speaker 1: What am I? What am I billing this night as deathmatch? Okay, deathmatch? Deathmatch?
Speaker 1: You guys are going against the chuckle heads that would understand? Yeah,
Speaker 1: those guys are jacked. Have you seen those guys? Yea,
Speaker 1: most improvisers, ripped chuckle heads? And what am I calling you? Guys? Ah?
Speaker 1: Stand up? Stand alright, chuckle heads versus the stand ups?
Speaker 1: Ten PM, two people per two drakes per person, two
Speaker 1: people per person plus two drinks, two people everywhere. Every
Speaker 1: one of you guys to bring two people and every
Speaker 1: one of those people gotta buy two drinks. All right, exponential,
Speaker 1: I get it. You're a business man. You gotta make
Speaker 1: you gotta make business. So you got us the show book.
Speaker 1: That's great, that's great. We just gotta get the most tough,
Speaker 1: grizzled stand ups. I'm thinking we gotta get Joe Rogan.
Speaker 1: We gotta get Carrot Top, we gotta get that guy
Speaker 1: does the Dame cook the kick moves. Yeah yeah, we're
Speaker 1: going to get those guys. I mean, when they find
Speaker 1: out it's their chance to mutilate a bunch of improvisers,
Speaker 1: I'm sure they're gonna jump on it. You know, I've
Speaker 1: got Show Rogan in my phone right now, all right, chuckle.
Speaker 1: So we gotta get the most grizzled improvisers. We know.
Speaker 1: I'm talking Ryan Styles, I'm talking Wayne Brady. Uh, there's
Speaker 1: the only two improvisers. Yeah. Yeah, we're gonna get those guys. Look,
Speaker 1: there's five improv jobs in the world, and you've listed
Speaker 1: two of the five. Okay, like they're busy, Yeah, their books. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know this guy. I know this guy. He does
Speaker 1: improv kind of as a hobby. His name's Teddy. He's
Speaker 1: great at fighting, great at I don't love hobbyists, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: but he's I mean, we could use him here. Actually
Speaker 1: I kind of already invited him. Uh, you want me
Speaker 1: to do a set? I've mostly just been doing classes.
Speaker 1: You know, I don't know if I'm ready for a
Speaker 1: show this big. Oh my god, this guy shoge gigantic. Alright,
Speaker 1: like I got a lot more going on just my size. Alright, alright, well,
Speaker 1: why don't we test him out real quick? All right?
Speaker 1: All right, let's do ut if that's what you're wondering. No, no,
Speaker 1: we don't think you're what would be a good good
Speaker 1: improv test guys, I don't know. Let's do mind meld,
Speaker 1: let's do mind make sure they're on the same page
Speaker 1: and the count of three, both of us say, we're
Speaker 1: at the same time, Like, how do you start? What
Speaker 1: do you start? All right, I'm gonna cunt it off
Speaker 1: and you too, say your word on three. Okay, here
Speaker 1: we go one, two, three, straw Robot, Strawberry robot, and
Speaker 1: Strawberry takes. Do you think I'm a robot? No, it
Speaker 1: was just what was on my mind. Okay, it was
Speaker 1: just it was just the first thing that came to
Speaker 1: my head. I was improvising robot. This is a human
Speaker 1: improv team. It was taking the test man who's got
Speaker 1: the app dude, test him. Wait, no, I don't need
Speaker 1: to time right now because we're trying to keep him.
Speaker 1: Test him. Mikey, Mikey, what about when he did that
Speaker 1: tag out that was so calculated and perfect. Right, guys,
Speaker 1: it was just remember all character names in an improv show,
Speaker 1: Like everybody forgets a few names, but he always remembers names.
Speaker 1: But wait, what if he what if he is at robot?
Speaker 1: Just say he is. He's good at improv. That's it. Now,
Speaker 1: we just let robots played with us well and fight
Speaker 1: with us. What do you program to do comedy? Please? Murder?
Speaker 1: Death kill murder, death kill, death murder. I'm just supported
Speaker 1: death kill ladies and dolemen. Welcome to deathmatch. Looks like
Speaker 1: it looks like somebody made this note card here about
Speaker 1: the show might not be accurate, but it's gonna be
Speaker 1: a show till the death. Then we have the over here,
Speaker 1: we have the chuckle heads. Is that all right? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Guy is huge? And uh over here, we've got some
Speaker 1: stand up comics. Yeah yeah, how's everybody doing tonight? Okay? Okay,
Speaker 1: what else? What else? What else? All right? Great? So,
Speaker 1: before we get started, I just want to make sure
Speaker 1: everyone knows that this is a robot human friendly space
Speaker 1: and we always are that way. So, uh, if you
Speaker 1: have any issue that you can leave. We don't want
Speaker 1: your business but you don't need to buy the two
Speaker 1: drinks before you leave. Alright, no refunds, no exchanges. If
Speaker 1: you want one, go out in the back of somebody
Speaker 1: will meet you there in fifteen minutes. Alright, looks like
Speaker 1: the chuckle heads are gonna go first, or I don't
Speaker 1: know how the show works. Here we go give him
Speaker 1: up for the chuckle heads. Where the chuckle heads can
Speaker 1: we have a suggestion of I don't know a fun
Speaker 1: location that would fit on the stage. A room to
Speaker 1: be murdered in, A room to be murdered in. Yeah,
Speaker 1: good luck with that. Okay, you're doing good, you're doing good.
Speaker 1: Just you're good. I have a dead body. No, no,
Speaker 1: you can't be a dead body if you're talking. Okay. Uh,
Speaker 1: oh my god, there's a dead body in this room.
Speaker 1: That's good. Yes, yes, and the dead body stinks. Man
Speaker 1: this god, I asked a question. We have to stand
Speaker 1: up school you guys suck. That was the juggle heads.
Speaker 1: Everybody giving up for the stand ups. Hey guys, um
Speaker 1: one more time for your host And uh, chuckle heads,
Speaker 1: they really really did it, didn't they. Uh so COVID
Speaker 1: was crazy. Um, I've been sent to the stage to
Speaker 1: beat you up. Okay, cool? Um, it doesn't look like
Speaker 1: your face is a big part of your act, so
Speaker 1: it really isn't it really isn't. You can just pummel
Speaker 1: the funk out of that. Okay, I'm a contrary in
Speaker 1: the face to start with. Okay, if you could just
Speaker 1: leave one eye open so I could see my light,
Speaker 1: which I will definitely run and not pay attention to,
Speaker 1: that would be great. All right? Wow, one a night.
Speaker 1: Some laughs not something? There were some points where there
Speaker 1: were it wasn't laughter. Blood. I don't know what to
Speaker 1: make of all this. I mean, do we feel better
Speaker 1: that we fought the stand ups? Isn't common unifying idea?
Speaker 1: I really wish you guys had pulled my programming out
Speaker 1: on me. I kind of feel bad about it. We
Speaker 1: need you to be vulnerable because that's part of what
Speaker 1: comedy is, right. I guess I killed a bunch of people. Yeah, both,
Speaker 1: that was you know, horrific, but not as horrific as
Speaker 1: our opener? Am I right? Guys? I know I didn't.
Speaker 1: Oh shit, it's probably for me the chuckle heads to
Speaker 1: our van over. How you doing, guys? Can you roll
Speaker 1: down your window for me? Please? Sure? Hi? Guys, did
Speaker 1: you did you leave a murder site about ten minutes
Speaker 1: ago on stage, officer, we were giving the suggestion, I
Speaker 1: see how we're I see how that could have played
Speaker 1: as you think. You played it like a double ontuendre.
Speaker 1: You're saying you murdered on stage, but at the same
Speaker 1: time you did actually murder somebody. So that's fantastic. I
Speaker 1: wasn't even saying that. I was saying specifically, the location
Speaker 1: we're giving was a room where murder happened, but we
Speaker 1: also the end murder on stage, you know, triple that's funny.
Speaker 1: I'm I don't do I take classes kind of like
Speaker 1: where where do you take classes? Question? Uh the punch
Speaker 1: punch Room. Uh yeah, it's a stand up place, but
Speaker 1: they have Empire classes tode they do both that. Yeah. Hey, um,
Speaker 1: well I got you. I've been coaching lately. If maybe
Speaker 1: you want to grab a you know, a few few
Speaker 1: of your friends, we could we could run some rehearsals
Speaker 1: and stuff. Maybe TERRYO Shyster's class and he's fantastic and
Speaker 1: so I don't know, his philosophy is a little kind
Speaker 1: of like hippie dippie for me. You've considered maybe that
Speaker 1: you can go further and deeper. Do you know Terry
Speaker 1: that's yeah, it's like yeah, okay, wow, I mean Terry
Speaker 1: used to be a chuckle head back in the day.
Speaker 1: I think he's an original child. Wow, this is oh
Speaker 1: my god, it's like I pulled over a famous vehicle. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, as far as you know, famous goes in improv.
Speaker 1: You'r Ryan styles Wayne Brady, So that's famous. Well yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, well that's legend. That's legend. That's that's that's
Speaker 1: a legend. This is just famous. That guy huge, barely
Speaker 1: fitting in there. I'm a guy. I like art, I
Speaker 1: like him prov. I don't want to be just identified
Speaker 1: by my size. Okay, I'm a complicated person. Yeah person. Huh.
Speaker 1: If I had to guess, I would say that's the
Speaker 1: robot in the in the car, but you'd be wrong. Officer.
Speaker 1: Check this out. So his name is Terry. Right, we're
Speaker 1: doing a scene. We're doing a scene tonight, and it
Speaker 1: was turning into your standard transaction scene. Right, so it's like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is gonna go nowhere. Then Terry surprises all of
Speaker 1: us shoots this ice statement out of nowhere. He says,
Speaker 1: I feel scared and it is bridges this gap and
Speaker 1: emotion happened and hilarity ensued. I'm so I'm still in
Speaker 1: level three, so I'm not sure if I followed everything. No, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: of course, of course, of course, but what's that characters?
Speaker 1: Or it's a group work, and uh, it's it's been tough,
Speaker 1: you know, because I've been to get over there. That sounds. Yeah.
Speaker 1: You gotta get everyone to buy in on group work
Speaker 1: and if one person is not in, you know, it's
Speaker 1: kind of like police work. So um yeah for similarities.
Speaker 1: Hey guys, Um, obviously Tim's not doing the show tonight
Speaker 1: as he was murdered last week on stage, which means
Speaker 1: everybody gets twelve minutes tonight, and said it to everybody
Speaker 1: really feel fretty yeah, like I have twelve minutes of
Speaker 1: material and that's our show. Everybody. Oh, let's thank you
Speaker 1: to our alkavist. See what they're up to, what's coming up?
Speaker 1: All that jazz? Chris Alvarado, Hey, happy to be here,
Speaker 1: This is fun, cold love having you back. Um. Midway
Speaker 1: during our show, a literal jackhammer started going off right
Speaker 1: right right next to my office. Maybe you can hear it,
Speaker 1: maybe you can't. If you can, it's an East rig
Speaker 1: for you. Um. Otherwise, thanks for everybody who came out
Speaker 1: to the Alchemy This Live in April. It was so
Speaker 1: much fun and that's all I have to say. Nice James.
Speaker 1: Any well, it was a hell of a lot of
Speaker 1: fun doing that Alchemy This live show. Um, but you
Speaker 1: know what, you could see the next one, which is
Speaker 1: on May one at eight pm at the Westside Comedy Theater.
Speaker 1: There's plenty of time for you to get tickets to
Speaker 1: see the live show on me first. Nice, it is
Speaker 1: a good time at a good theater, which is happening nowadays.
Speaker 1: Things are back, people are back in action, so come
Speaker 1: on out saying hey, thanks for having me. This is
Speaker 1: always fantastic. I have so much fun. Uh and uh,
Speaker 1: I'm doing a couple of shows here and there. You
Speaker 1: can follow me on a tool time on my socials
Speaker 1: or my website toolsing dot com. Look out for traffic
Speaker 1: coming out traffic red light Craig Kokoski. Uh, follow me
Speaker 1: at Kikowski on Twitter, Kikowski on Instagram for information on
Speaker 1: any shows that might be coming up. Literal Jackhammer is
Speaker 1: a herald team that I'm playing with right now, so yeah,
Speaker 1: well there might be some show nice. I'm at Cole
Speaker 1: Stranton or at Stratton Cold, depending on the social service. Hey,
Speaker 1: go to letterbox. I don't if anybody uses letterbox, but
Speaker 1: it's pretty amazing. Um letter box without an E before
Speaker 1: the D. What is that? It's a cool like website
Speaker 1: where basically you can uh put all the movies you've seen,
Speaker 1: review them, whatever, put log them and stuff, put a
Speaker 1: watch list for things you want to see, interact with
Speaker 1: other people who have seen the movies or whatever. Um.
Speaker 1: It's really cool. Actually I like it a lot, so
Speaker 1: I'm on there. I have all my movie lists up
Speaker 1: on letter Box. There you go, great, great resource for stuff. Um,
Speaker 1: so definitely check that out. Hey, big ups in a
Speaker 1: big thanks to our engineering producer Doug Made and the
Speaker 1: fine folks at I heeart media dot com. Please write
Speaker 1: to us at out give me this email at gmail
Speaker 1: dot com. That'smaimail dot com. Until next time on