WEBVTT - None vs. not as much as I want

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.

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<v Speaker 1>Good Morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>Today's tip is to recognize that having no free time

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<v Speaker 1>and having not as much free time as you want

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<v Speaker 1>are very different stories. Telling yourself the correct story can

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<v Speaker 1>change how you view time. Over the years, I've had

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<v Speaker 1>thousands of people track their time for me, often on

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<v Speaker 1>weekly spreadsheets, sometimes in narrative form, and sometimes in apps.

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<v Speaker 1>I have tracked my own time for more than five

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<v Speaker 1>years now, and I've studied various other time diary studies,

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<v Speaker 1>such as the American Time You Survey, in great detail.

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<v Speaker 1>What I have learned is that basically everyone has free time.

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<v Speaker 1>Some people have a lot of free time. My children

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<v Speaker 1>managed to walk a lot of shows and play a

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<v Speaker 1>lot of video games. Others of us have well less.

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<v Speaker 1>Caring for five children and running a business turns out

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<v Speaker 1>to take a reasonable quantity of time. When you look

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<v Speaker 1>at large scale time diary studies, it's no real surprise

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<v Speaker 1>that my particular demographic of folks, working mothers with kids

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<v Speaker 1>under the age of six, have the least amount of

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<v Speaker 1>free time of other demographics. But and this is key,

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<v Speaker 1>we rarely have none and this is an important distinction.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know why people get wedded to the narrative

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<v Speaker 1>that they have zero leisure time. I mean, sure, we

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<v Speaker 1>all have a lot to do and responsibilities can weigh heavily.

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<v Speaker 1>Talking about how we have no free time is a

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<v Speaker 1>way to show others how hard we are working or

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<v Speaker 1>how tough life can be. And it's definitely true that

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<v Speaker 1>life can be tough, but it's also true that no

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<v Speaker 1>one wins in the Misery Olympics. Claiming to have zero

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<v Speaker 1>free time is just fetist and also self defeating, because

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<v Speaker 1>when leisure time does appear, if you claim to have none,

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<v Speaker 1>then you probably don't think about what you're going to

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<v Speaker 1>do with it, so you do things that aren't particularly rejuvenating,

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<v Speaker 1>like scrolling around online. So let's try a different narrative.

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<v Speaker 1>We don't have zero free time, we just have not

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<v Speaker 1>as much as we want. Not as much as I

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<v Speaker 1>want is a very different story from none. It implies

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<v Speaker 1>some great questions right there, such as how can I

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<v Speaker 1>scale this up over time? And how can I best

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<v Speaker 1>use the limited free time I do have to get

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<v Speaker 1>the most enjoyment out of it. These are far more

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<v Speaker 1>useful questions. They might nudge us to do things such

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<v Speaker 1>as track our time and see how much free time

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<v Speaker 1>usually occurs in any given twenty four hours or any

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<v Speaker 1>given one. If I know I am going to have

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<v Speaker 1>about two hours of free time each day, I can

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<v Speaker 1>decide that I want to spend forty five minutes exercising,

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<v Speaker 1>forty five minutes reading, and thirty nits on a jigsaw puzzle. Great.

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<v Speaker 1>I will know at the end of the day that

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<v Speaker 1>I have had some high quality leisure time, whereas if

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<v Speaker 1>I assume none, I won't think about what to do

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<v Speaker 1>with it, and it will probably all wind up being

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<v Speaker 1>spent staring at coronavirus headlines not as much as I want.

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<v Speaker 1>Helps us see where we might be able to redeploy

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<v Speaker 1>time towards the leisure category too. We might decide to

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<v Speaker 1>ask other adults in our lives for help, or lower

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<v Speaker 1>our standards for housework, or tell any older kids defend

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<v Speaker 1>for themselves from time to time. When it comes to time,

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<v Speaker 1>it is tempting to play the victim I have no

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<v Speaker 1>time for fun, but saying I have some time, just

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<v Speaker 1>not as much as I want puts us back in charge.

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<v Speaker 1>We become the architects of our time. Looking to expand

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<v Speaker 1>and optimize a resource, and when we do that, we

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<v Speaker 1>might be surprised at how much time for fun we

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<v Speaker 1>can find in the meantime. This is Laura. Thanks for listening,

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<v Speaker 1>and here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody,

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<v Speaker 1>I'd love to hear from you. You can send me

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<v Speaker 1>your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with

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<v Speaker 1>me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod.

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<v Speaker 1>That's b E the number four, then breakfast p o D.

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<v Speaker 1>You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast

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<v Speaker 1>podcast at i heeart media dot com that Before Breakfast

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<v Speaker 1>is spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much,

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<v Speaker 1>I look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is

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<v Speaker 1>a production of I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from

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<v Speaker 1>my heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

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<v Speaker 1>or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. H