1
00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:01,560
Speaker 1: Awesome, Alexander.

2
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,040
Speaker 2: Hello, Hello, Hi, who's this?

3
00:00:04,720 --> 00:00:06,560
Speaker 1: I'm Alexander. Is is Lyle?

4
00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:09,080
Speaker 2: Yes, sir? What's going on, Alexander?

5
00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:10,240
Speaker 1: How you doing? Brother?

6
00:00:11,520 --> 00:00:18,040
Speaker 2: I am hanging in there. I actually feel pretty good today.

7
00:00:18,160 --> 00:00:21,440
Speaker 2: I'm in a well lit room for the first time

8
00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:28,120
Speaker 2: in years. I yeah, I'm okay. I have a lot

9
00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:31,240
Speaker 2: I love to hear me grateful for so I love that.

10
00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:37,640
Speaker 2: I'm trying my fucking best, brother. How are you, Alexander?

11
00:00:38,280 --> 00:00:42,320
Speaker 1: I am doing the same. I'm drama and I got

12
00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:44,680
Speaker 1: a love story for you that's a little crazy in

13
00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:45,360
Speaker 1: my opinion.

14
00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:49,159
Speaker 2: Oh, I love you story. Taylor Swift? What's going on?

15
00:00:49,560 --> 00:00:53,040
Speaker 1: Taylor Swift? Hell? Yes? All right? So I met this

16
00:00:53,240 --> 00:00:58,040
Speaker 1: girl over Instagram twenty twenty, twenty nineteen, right at the

17
00:00:58,080 --> 00:01:01,280
Speaker 1: end of twenty nineteen, right shooting text. You know, I

18
00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:04,680
Speaker 1: was actually just getting out of the hospital from a

19
00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:07,800
Speaker 1: major depressive episode, and I was kind of on a

20
00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:10,759
Speaker 1: good path and everything and just feeling really good and

21
00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:13,959
Speaker 1: just shooting text to random people, just trying to connect

22
00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:18,360
Speaker 1: and send one random one to this girl, and she

23
00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:21,039
Speaker 1: responds back and we have this little back and forth,

24
00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:23,839
Speaker 1: and the more we're talking, the more we're both realizing

25
00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:28,600
Speaker 1: we're kind of like really excited, and it's like I

26
00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:31,760
Speaker 1: had a really rough upbringing, so I don't really connect

27
00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:35,319
Speaker 1: with people and in a deep way. For me, I'm

28
00:01:35,319 --> 00:01:39,320
Speaker 1: actually a peer counselor, so I work with people who

29
00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:41,760
Speaker 1: are like just coming out of a hospital or you know,

30
00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:45,360
Speaker 1: people who have been through the prison system. You know,

31
00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:47,360
Speaker 1: I'll work with anybody. You know. I always try to

32
00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:51,560
Speaker 1: get people on their best stuff. So you know, I

33
00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:55,680
Speaker 1: it's weird because I connect with people on a people

34
00:01:56,880 --> 00:01:59,760
Speaker 1: but like for me personally, it's different. So I connect

35
00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:06,640
Speaker 1: with this girl and it was insane, Like I I like,

36
00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:09,960
Speaker 1: it's felt like magic and everything, and I'm I've always

37
00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:12,880
Speaker 1: been like science, science, science, you know, followed the book

38
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:16,720
Speaker 1: just at the third and it, uh, it was it

39
00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:19,800
Speaker 1: was different. It felt different. You know, I had dated before,

40
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,880
Speaker 1: I said I love you before, and this time it

41
00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:28,320
Speaker 1: felt real. So the problem was she lived across the world,

42
00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:32,680
Speaker 1: three thousand miles away and a different country and everything.

43
00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:37,600
Speaker 1: And this was right before COVID. And I'm pretty crazy,

44
00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:41,239
Speaker 1: so occasionally, like my brain will come up with a scenario,

45
00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:45,520
Speaker 1: like it'll make these really small logical jumps and then

46
00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:47,639
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, I'm in deep water. It's insane.

47
00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:50,959
Speaker 2: So I was like, yeah, go for it real quick,

48
00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:54,480
Speaker 2: so real quick. First of all, I'm sorry you kind

49
00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:56,680
Speaker 2: of explained it. How exactly did you meet this girl?

50
00:02:57,480 --> 00:03:00,720
Speaker 1: I just randomly sending messages on Instagram to just people

51
00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:03,160
Speaker 1: that I thought looked cool, just like wanted to make

52
00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:05,960
Speaker 1: new friends. I was trying to, Uh, you were an influencer.

53
00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:08,440
Speaker 2: You were you were using you were using Instagram as

54
00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:09,080
Speaker 2: a dating app.

55
00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:11,600
Speaker 1: Not really, I was trying to be an influencer. I

56
00:03:11,639 --> 00:03:13,000
Speaker 1: play in a band, so I was kind of just

57
00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:15,640
Speaker 1: trying to boost myself up, to like boost the band up.

58
00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:19,040
Speaker 1: I reached out to a lot of like rock and

59
00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:21,360
Speaker 1: metal chicks and stuff like that, so she was one

60
00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:23,760
Speaker 1: of them, and it just so happened to you know,

61
00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:24,440
Speaker 1: we connected.

62
00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:27,320
Speaker 2: You thought you thought a lady was pretty, and you

63
00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:30,800
Speaker 2: slayed in the DMS. There's that's you know, more or less,

64
00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:33,960
Speaker 2: that's a classic human experience. You don't have to you

65
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:37,200
Speaker 2: don't have to play around it. That's a normal human experience.

66
00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:41,480
Speaker 1: Well, I mean, like, so, so you know, I made

67
00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:43,400
Speaker 1: sure she was real, you know, like never asked me

68
00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:46,080
Speaker 1: for money and anything. We face timed and it was

69
00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:50,400
Speaker 1: it was literally different and then COVID happens, and I

70
00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:53,120
Speaker 1: got it in my head that I'm not allowed to

71
00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:56,480
Speaker 1: be happy. If I'm happy, the world ends, and I

72
00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:59,600
Speaker 1: still struggle with that to this day. I mean, I'm

73
00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:02,680
Speaker 1: pretty good reality testing myself and kind of like getting

74
00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:04,440
Speaker 1: myself straight and just be like, all right, what does

75
00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:06,200
Speaker 1: it matter. You have to keep going anyway, so just

76
00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:09,960
Speaker 1: keep going. But like a year and a half in

77
00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:12,400
Speaker 1: we had this falling out and it was like over

78
00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:16,760
Speaker 1: just really bad miscommunication on all fronts, you know, like

79
00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:19,520
Speaker 1: I had problems, she had problems. We were triggering each

80
00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:23,720
Speaker 1: other's trauma left and right, and you know, I jumped

81
00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:25,480
Speaker 1: the gun and I tried to protect myself and I

82
00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:27,920
Speaker 1: kind of just cut it off. And then I realized

83
00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:30,120
Speaker 1: that I made a mistake, and you know, I kind

84
00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:31,640
Speaker 1: of would lashed it back. It was just like, hey,

85
00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:33,880
Speaker 1: I'm stupid, Like let's let's keep going. Let's pick up

86
00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:34,600
Speaker 1: where we left off.

87
00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:37,200
Speaker 2: Like it well? So also, also what what where did

88
00:04:37,279 --> 00:04:39,839
Speaker 2: she live? What country she lives in?

89
00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:40,480
Speaker 1: Northern Europe?

90
00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:46,080
Speaker 2: Okay? Okay? And so you met, you started dming with

91
00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:49,080
Speaker 2: her pre COVID, and then did you ever even I

92
00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:53,279
Speaker 2: mean before before getting into your first fight. Did you

93
00:04:53,279 --> 00:04:56,080
Speaker 2: have your first encounter in person?

94
00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:01,960
Speaker 1: Like, No, we didn't, and it was because we were

95
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:05,920
Speaker 1: planning for it the year COVID happened, so everything got

96
00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:08,960
Speaker 1: shut down, and so we had facetimes and everything, and

97
00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:12,280
Speaker 1: we had plans to meet up in July of twenty twenty,

98
00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:15,440
Speaker 1: and then COVID happened and that all got shut down,

99
00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:18,840
Speaker 1: and I started losing my mind pretty badly, you know,

100
00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:21,040
Speaker 1: like I was. I'm good at putting on a good front.

101
00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:23,400
Speaker 1: I've I had major depression since I was twelve years

102
00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:26,880
Speaker 1: old and I'm thirty five, so I just I kind

103
00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:28,640
Speaker 1: of run with it. I don't know how, I just do.

104
00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:29,720
Speaker 3: So.

105
00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:34,839
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I kind of went crazy with it and everything.

106
00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:36,839
Speaker 1: It wasn't really so much a first fight. It was

107
00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:38,520
Speaker 1: just I mean, like in the other thing, this is

108
00:05:38,520 --> 00:05:40,840
Speaker 1: all a long distance and half of it is over text,

109
00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:45,400
Speaker 1: so it's just difficult to begin with. And then I

110
00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:48,080
Speaker 1: decided to go over there and we kind of rekindled

111
00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:51,000
Speaker 1: something a little bit in like late twenty twenty one.

112
00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:54,960
Speaker 1: I decided to go over there and you know, made

113
00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:57,000
Speaker 1: plans with her. I like kind of reached out to her.

114
00:05:57,040 --> 00:05:59,080
Speaker 1: I was like, Hey, I'm thinking about coming here and

115
00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:00,680
Speaker 1: would you want to meet up on a day and

116
00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:03,280
Speaker 1: just that the third and she was open to it,

117
00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:05,400
Speaker 1: told me what days she would be off from work,

118
00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:08,159
Speaker 1: and you know, like I went over there and she

119
00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:14,680
Speaker 1: stood me up and whoa yeah, and you know, like

120
00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:17,760
Speaker 1: it was bad communication too, you know. I reached out

121
00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:21,360
Speaker 1: to her like a while after that, and I mean like,

122
00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:23,640
Speaker 1: I had a bad depressive episode. I locked myself in

123
00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:26,440
Speaker 1: a hotel room for a day. I was, I was bad,

124
00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:29,200
Speaker 1: and I forced myself out the day after. I was like, no,

125
00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:31,160
Speaker 1: you're in another country, you don't know what's going on,

126
00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:33,600
Speaker 1: you have no connection to anything. You need to go

127
00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:36,479
Speaker 1: just do stuff. So I took myself to museums and

128
00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:39,520
Speaker 1: I took myself to like parks, and I made something

129
00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:41,039
Speaker 1: on the trip. You know, I didn't. I didn't let

130
00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:43,360
Speaker 1: it fall apart. And like three months up to that trip,

131
00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:44,280
Speaker 1: she wasn't talking to me.

132
00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:46,240
Speaker 2: See that's what you gotta that's what you gotta do.

133
00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:48,039
Speaker 2: And by the way, I just want to hear the

134
00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:53,880
Speaker 2: quick message to anyone listening who is thinking of going

135
00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:58,280
Speaker 2: to visit a girl or a guy or whatever in

136
00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:03,080
Speaker 2: another country or another state or whatever. You really, whoever,

137
00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:06,240
Speaker 2: you really if you're gonna do it, you have to

138
00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:12,400
Speaker 2: first imagine what if they stand me up? Can I

139
00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:16,360
Speaker 2: still have a good time visiting this place. That's the

140
00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:18,440
Speaker 2: number one thing you gotta do. If you're thinking about

141
00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:22,080
Speaker 2: going to another country to visit someone, you got to

142
00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:25,040
Speaker 2: imagine yourself like even if they don't. If I get

143
00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:29,000
Speaker 2: there and they ghost me, can I still you know,

144
00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:33,520
Speaker 2: have a backup plan to just enjoy my time visiting

145
00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:35,760
Speaker 2: another country. It's very important if you're gonna do that.

146
00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:38,920
Speaker 1: I do want to say it's always one hundred. I mean,

147
00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:41,120
Speaker 1: it's always fifty to fifty, you know, Like I'm not

148
00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:43,280
Speaker 1: going to say I was perfect. And you know I

149
00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:46,800
Speaker 1: went over there, and you know, like we didn't communicate

150
00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:49,320
Speaker 1: what Like she reached out to me the day I

151
00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:51,080
Speaker 1: got there, and I was like, hey, do you still

152
00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:53,640
Speaker 1: want to meet up? And she never said anything. And

153
00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:56,400
Speaker 1: then I got drunk and I started like giving all

154
00:07:56,440 --> 00:07:58,840
Speaker 1: my feelings and that was too much, and you know,

155
00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:00,800
Speaker 1: I understood it was too much, so I apologize. I

156
00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:03,320
Speaker 1: was like, I'm not contacting you anymore. And we didn't

157
00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:05,640
Speaker 1: really have contact again until this year on her birthday,

158
00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:08,640
Speaker 1: and things have been pretty good. You know, like I

159
00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:11,480
Speaker 1: dated outside of her and everything, and just like it

160
00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:12,840
Speaker 1: didn't real quick.

161
00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:14,200
Speaker 2: I want to I want to hear about that. I

162
00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:19,280
Speaker 2: have many questions. Where so where in northern Europe was

163
00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:20,239
Speaker 2: this person?

164
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:22,880
Speaker 1: She was in Finland?

165
00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:26,240
Speaker 2: Finland? All right? So you took a little impromptu solo

166
00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:30,000
Speaker 2: trip in Finland. I did, and you went there. She

167
00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:33,360
Speaker 2: goes to you, and you were you. I had like

168
00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:36,240
Speaker 2: one full day, and you gotta do you gotta have

169
00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:42,640
Speaker 2: you gotta let yourself have one day and go right.

170
00:08:42,679 --> 00:08:45,520
Speaker 2: You gotta have one day of morning of feeling sorry

171
00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:49,880
Speaker 2: for yourself, of being upset and angry, and pass to

172
00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:53,080
Speaker 2: give you one day you let yourself loose, you have

173
00:08:53,200 --> 00:09:00,080
Speaker 2: your emotional uh feast whatever, and then you gotta go

174
00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:05,439
Speaker 2: to the Museum of Ducks or whatever the fuck they got? Yeah,

175
00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:07,080
Speaker 2: how long were you in? How long were you there for?

176
00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:09,920
Speaker 1: I was only there a week. I don't make a

177
00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:12,120
Speaker 1: lot of money in mental health. You don't make a

178
00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:13,640
Speaker 1: lot of money. I think you know that, but uh,

179
00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:15,480
Speaker 1: it's what it is.

180
00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:18,520
Speaker 2: I'm I am, I am in, and I am in

181
00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:19,720
Speaker 2: the gecko business.

182
00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:21,800
Speaker 1: I got that. I'm sure there's a ton of money

183
00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:22,760
Speaker 1: in the gecko business.

184
00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:27,680
Speaker 2: As you know, I will say, uh, well, what the

185
00:09:27,679 --> 00:09:31,160
Speaker 2: fuck was I gonna say? Uh? Oh, So did you

186
00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:34,160
Speaker 2: meet anyone in this week? Did you go to try

187
00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:35,800
Speaker 2: to talk to anyone? Did you go to any events?

188
00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:36,680
Speaker 2: Did you go to any house?

189
00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:36,920
Speaker 3: No.

190
00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:40,439
Speaker 1: I kept going to this one bar that I just

191
00:09:40,520 --> 00:09:43,280
Speaker 1: kind of really enjoyed, and uh yeah, I had a

192
00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:45,800
Speaker 1: good time there. I actually got so drunk one night

193
00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:48,760
Speaker 1: I peeked in the sewer, looked at the uh looked

194
00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:50,400
Speaker 1: at the guard and I was like, I go get

195
00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:54,240
Speaker 1: my jacket. He's like, yeah, let me go. It was great,

196
00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:56,400
Speaker 1: But you know, I had fun. I have fun memories

197
00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:58,559
Speaker 1: of that trip even, you know, all things that standing

198
00:09:58,679 --> 00:10:01,040
Speaker 1: and like I said, you know, we connected again, and

199
00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:03,880
Speaker 1: you know I've dated outside of her, and you know,

200
00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:07,600
Speaker 1: strange things happen all the time. Like, for example, I

201
00:10:07,679 --> 00:10:11,120
Speaker 1: was streaming on Twitch and I was playing this game

202
00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:14,400
Speaker 1: called Universe sim and it's a god simulator. You start

203
00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:16,680
Speaker 1: with your god and you get Adam and even you

204
00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:19,160
Speaker 1: have to build an entire society. The game likes to

205
00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:22,520
Speaker 1: rename the town that you're building, just like when you

206
00:10:22,559 --> 00:10:26,000
Speaker 1: get enough people, and it's usually like like Blitzenberg or

207
00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:30,240
Speaker 1: you know, like Jingleville. It's usually either something really boring

208
00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:33,400
Speaker 1: or really stupid. And then one day, while I'm streaming

209
00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:35,400
Speaker 1: with like one of my best friends in the stream,

210
00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:40,599
Speaker 1: it comes up with her exact city, and like I

211
00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:43,640
Speaker 1: it's like finished cities have weird names, and it was

212
00:10:43,679 --> 00:10:45,600
Speaker 1: a really strange, out there name. But it just like

213
00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:48,600
Speaker 1: it knocked me off my feet, and I was just like,

214
00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:49,439
Speaker 1: that's crazy.

215
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:51,839
Speaker 2: It's okay, I got I have more questions for you.

216
00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:55,040
Speaker 2: All right, So you go on this week long trip.

217
00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:58,080
Speaker 2: Did you have fun? Ultimately, even though the woman stood up,

218
00:10:58,080 --> 00:10:58,640
Speaker 2: did you have a good time?

219
00:10:59,240 --> 00:10:59,440
Speaker 1: Yeah?

220
00:11:00,440 --> 00:11:06,440
Speaker 2: And so you got back in touch with her? What what?

221
00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:08,600
Speaker 2: What was that whole thing?

222
00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:11,960
Speaker 1: It was eating at me? It was eating at me.

223
00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:13,520
Speaker 1: I have to go sit back down just in case

224
00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:17,000
Speaker 1: my phone decides to disconnect again. It was eating at

225
00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:22,960
Speaker 1: me really badly because like I still felt strong still,

226
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:26,040
Speaker 1: even with everything I've been cheated on in past relationships

227
00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:27,920
Speaker 1: and everything. And you know what, if I lose a

228
00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:30,360
Speaker 1: couple of grand to you know, kind of a gamble,

229
00:11:30,880 --> 00:11:32,520
Speaker 1: I can't really be mad at her. You know, like

230
00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:34,560
Speaker 1: it's just what it is. You know, I know the

231
00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:37,680
Speaker 1: reasons why everything happened the way they happened, and you know,

232
00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:40,760
Speaker 1: I'm happy that we're talking again. So you know, I

233
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:44,240
Speaker 1: can forgure so who so so who?

234
00:11:44,559 --> 00:11:47,120
Speaker 2: But what I'm saying is who who reached out to who?

235
00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:49,760
Speaker 1: Like what was I reached I reached out to her

236
00:11:49,840 --> 00:11:52,079
Speaker 1: and we had a discussion on this and I reached

237
00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:54,520
Speaker 1: out to her and she had said, She's like, there

238
00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:56,360
Speaker 1: were times I wanted to reach back out to you

239
00:11:56,400 --> 00:12:00,680
Speaker 1: see how you were, but the way I had ended it,

240
00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:03,080
Speaker 1: she didn't feel comfortable doing that. She said it would

241
00:12:03,120 --> 00:12:05,600
Speaker 1: need to have come from you, and she was super receptive.

242
00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:08,240
Speaker 1: You know, I was under the impression she hated me

243
00:12:08,280 --> 00:12:10,240
Speaker 1: and wanted nothing to do with me because I'm crazy.

244
00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:13,040
Speaker 1: And I was telling myself that and you know, like

245
00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:15,760
Speaker 1: I've been pretty happy with how things are going. It's

246
00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:18,160
Speaker 1: not it's not I want.

247
00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:22,120
Speaker 2: To I will say. I mean, that's a real I

248
00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:24,600
Speaker 2: really think that's that's just a fucked up thing to

249
00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:27,959
Speaker 2: do if you to make a plan with someone. I mean,

250
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:29,520
Speaker 2: is that how? I mean? Like, tell me, is that

251
00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:31,240
Speaker 2: how it? Well?

252
00:12:31,559 --> 00:12:34,400
Speaker 1: I understand that, you know, like, did.

253
00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:37,200
Speaker 2: You guys, did you guys like make a plan? And

254
00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:41,280
Speaker 2: she was like, yes, come buy a plane ticket like

255
00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:43,600
Speaker 2: or or was it more like your were like, I

256
00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:46,520
Speaker 2: am coming, like, which would you guys make the plan together?

257
00:12:47,160 --> 00:12:49,840
Speaker 2: And then she just bailed, like what was it?

258
00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:54,800
Speaker 1: I was saying, so, so, hey, I think we should

259
00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:56,480
Speaker 1: meet up. You know this at the third you know,

260
00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:58,440
Speaker 1: I would like to just come visit you know, the

261
00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:01,960
Speaker 1: city and every the city I'll think he specifically. I

262
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:03,800
Speaker 1: was like, but you know, at the same time, you know,

263
00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:05,920
Speaker 1: I think we should meet up, and she's like, hey, okay,

264
00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:07,920
Speaker 1: I'm down for that. I was like, all right, you know,

265
00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:10,480
Speaker 1: like what would work good for you? And she gives

266
00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:12,680
Speaker 1: me dates and I'm like all right, and then I

267
00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:13,920
Speaker 1: was like, all right, this is going to be my

268
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:16,400
Speaker 1: flight and I'm going to be staying over here, you know,

269
00:13:16,679 --> 00:13:19,720
Speaker 1: like and I got an Airbnb and I was just like,

270
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:21,839
Speaker 1: you know, let's let mean I The last thing I

271
00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:24,440
Speaker 1: think I said was like, let me know, you know

272
00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:27,080
Speaker 1: what your plans are, what you want to do. And

273
00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:29,600
Speaker 1: then three months go by and I didn't hear anything.

274
00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:31,800
Speaker 1: And then the trip comes up and I didn't hear anything,

275
00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:33,880
Speaker 1: and you know, it was already over and done with.

276
00:13:35,559 --> 00:13:39,160
Speaker 2: So you so you planned this three months in advance

277
00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:40,839
Speaker 2: and then in those three months.

278
00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:42,760
Speaker 1: No, it was more than three. It was more than

279
00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:45,720
Speaker 1: three months week, but like we we only connected like

280
00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:47,559
Speaker 1: a little bit like here and there, and then the

281
00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:49,040
Speaker 1: three months happened.

282
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:52,200
Speaker 2: So you planned it in advance, and then in the

283
00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:55,000
Speaker 2: time following had no communication.

284
00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:57,880
Speaker 1: With her, very little communication, you know, like and I

285
00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:01,160
Speaker 1: think a lot of it was just a lot of

286
00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:03,320
Speaker 1: it was like fear on both ends, you know, like

287
00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:05,720
Speaker 1: I didn't reach out because I didn't want to like

288
00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:07,800
Speaker 1: take up too much of her space. And you know,

289
00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:11,640
Speaker 1: I think she and you know, like we we I

290
00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:15,079
Speaker 1: got attached pretty hard pretty fast because things she was

291
00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:18,079
Speaker 1: saying was like kind of like gold to me. And

292
00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:21,760
Speaker 1: you know, we're in it's different now, Like I'm I've

293
00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:24,400
Speaker 1: grown Like when we met, I was thirty now and

294
00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:27,760
Speaker 1: thirty five, so you know, like that's there's been a

295
00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:29,960
Speaker 1: lot of growth there. You know, I've been through the

296
00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:33,240
Speaker 1: hospital multiple times and you know kind of really had

297
00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:35,560
Speaker 1: to learn a new place in life and new direction

298
00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:37,800
Speaker 1: in life. And I'm in that path now and I

299
00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:40,560
Speaker 1: feel good. And that's kind of why I reached out

300
00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:42,880
Speaker 1: to her, because I feel better than I have and

301
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:46,040
Speaker 1: even though I'm like still fighting my brain left and right,

302
00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:48,360
Speaker 1: it's just kind of I still feel strong about her.

303
00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:51,440
Speaker 1: I mean, like, I've been cheated on really badly multiple times.

304
00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:53,360
Speaker 1: I've been lied to to my face about it, and

305
00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:55,960
Speaker 1: you know, I've called them out on it. I've been told,

306
00:14:56,440 --> 00:14:59,160
Speaker 1: you know, like I need to experience something else, and

307
00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:01,520
Speaker 1: you know kind of just left and gone and done that.

308
00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:04,120
Speaker 1: I had somebody I threw a party and my girlfriend

309
00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:07,480
Speaker 1: ran off with another guy, and you know, like I

310
00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:11,000
Speaker 1: actually called him and I was just like, yeah, pray

311
00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:15,880
Speaker 1: I don't see him. Chose to smoke a cigarette at

312
00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:17,840
Speaker 1: the time instead of get myself in trouble.

313
00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:20,040
Speaker 2: So you I lost you. I lost you at the

314
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:23,560
Speaker 2: very end there. But uh so what's your day? What's

315
00:15:23,560 --> 00:15:24,240
Speaker 2: your dating life?

316
00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:24,480
Speaker 1: Like?

317
00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:26,920
Speaker 2: Now? Uh?

318
00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:30,360
Speaker 1: Honestly, just I'm kind of just doing me. I just

319
00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:33,480
Speaker 1: like being creative, So I just let myself be creative.

320
00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:36,040
Speaker 1: I play my band, you know, we do crap on

321
00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:38,600
Speaker 1: Twitch and that's it. You know, Like I I don't

322
00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:42,240
Speaker 1: care enough to date because like I don't feel connected

323
00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:45,280
Speaker 1: to people, so like and like you know, like I'll

324
00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:48,600
Speaker 1: like meet somebody and they're just I don't feel anything.

325
00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:50,160
Speaker 1: You know, It's just like all right, whatever, you're there,

326
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:52,680
Speaker 1: we're talking. There's no magic here, there's nothing special.

327
00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:55,880
Speaker 2: Like it's it's it's hard. Yeah, it's hard. I'm on

328
00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:58,920
Speaker 2: I'm on the dating apps and stuff, and I every

329
00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:02,680
Speaker 2: time I like look it up profile, I'm like, could

330
00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:09,920
Speaker 2: I see myself really like uh fucking like like connecting

331
00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:14,360
Speaker 2: with this person you know, well, you meet the first time,

332
00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:16,240
Speaker 2: you have to you have to like go through that.

333
00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:18,320
Speaker 2: You have to like able to look at them and

334
00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:20,400
Speaker 2: be like in a weird way like the first time

335
00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:23,120
Speaker 2: you meet someone, you I guess kind of have to

336
00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:26,400
Speaker 2: judge like do you really feel like you can form

337
00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:28,440
Speaker 2: a strong connection with this person, which is hard to

338
00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:29,640
Speaker 2: do when the first time.

339
00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:32,040
Speaker 1: Well yeah, so you know, like that's why I usually

340
00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:33,680
Speaker 1: like I give it a little bit, and you know,

341
00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:36,000
Speaker 1: and I've gotten myself. I've dated people that I shouldn't

342
00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:38,120
Speaker 1: have dated because I'm doing that, you know, Like I

343
00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:40,640
Speaker 1: always I have this like idea in my head of

344
00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:43,360
Speaker 1: like who I'm looking for and everything, and I will

345
00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:47,000
Speaker 1: I have very all my entire dating history dated outside

346
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:49,480
Speaker 1: of that, because I've said to myself, that's ridiculous, You're

347
00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:52,360
Speaker 1: being ridiculous. Try to date outside of this. Date outside

348
00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:56,000
Speaker 1: of it, and you know, like immediately like get hit

349
00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:58,520
Speaker 1: with the dumpster fire and just go like, Okay, maybe

350
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,760
Speaker 1: maybe you were onto something with that, and you know

351
00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:04,040
Speaker 1: that's the other thing of it. You know, this woman

352
00:17:04,160 --> 00:17:07,320
Speaker 1: kind of like I didn't. I don't. I don't feel like,

353
00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:09,439
Speaker 1: you know, like anything's missing. I just you know, the

354
00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:11,879
Speaker 1: thing that's missing is is how close we are. And

355
00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:14,280
Speaker 1: that's it. And I just tell myself how maybe one

356
00:17:14,359 --> 00:17:15,280
Speaker 1: day it won't be the case.

357
00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:22,000
Speaker 2: So I have you're a fear counselor? What is that?

358
00:17:22,359 --> 00:17:24,520
Speaker 1: Peer per Oh?

359
00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:26,480
Speaker 2: A peer cow? I thought you were a fear I

360
00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:27,159
Speaker 2: thought you were.

361
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:31,840
Speaker 1: Like, yeah, yeah, right, that'd be great.

362
00:17:32,119 --> 00:17:34,320
Speaker 2: No, no, no, I thought, So what do you do

363
00:17:34,359 --> 00:17:35,400
Speaker 2: as a peer counselor?

364
00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:38,800
Speaker 1: I take my life experience and things that have happened

365
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:41,400
Speaker 1: to me, such as, you know, my major depressive disorder,

366
00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:46,880
Speaker 1: my borderline personality disorder, my OCD, my OCPD, my unspecified

367
00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:51,040
Speaker 1: anxiety disorder, this beautiful cocktail that I've been given and

368
00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:53,479
Speaker 1: all the torture that it's put me through. I learned

369
00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:57,199
Speaker 1: how to share that with people who are going through it,

370
00:17:57,240 --> 00:18:00,639
Speaker 1: who don't understand it and need help and guide through it.

371
00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:03,320
Speaker 1: And I take a lot of pride in my work

372
00:18:03,359 --> 00:18:04,879
Speaker 1: and I'm really proud of it. And I actually have

373
00:18:04,920 --> 00:18:07,280
Speaker 1: an interview for a supervisor position on Monday. So I

374
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:08,400
Speaker 1: got my fingers crossed.

375
00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:13,480
Speaker 2: Very nice, man, very nice? Are you I want to

376
00:18:13,480 --> 00:18:15,919
Speaker 2: hear about this too. So you said that from thirty

377
00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:22,400
Speaker 2: to thirty five, you you feel like you underwent some change.

378
00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:26,199
Speaker 2: I feel like, yeah, so I'm I'm twenty six, and

379
00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:29,480
Speaker 2: I often think about, like, you know, the difference of

380
00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:32,280
Speaker 2: my life now, you know, from when I was twenty one,

381
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:35,240
Speaker 2: and how much I've like changed as a person, you know, yeah,

382
00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:38,160
Speaker 2: from then, and then I'm like, wow, in five years

383
00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:41,159
Speaker 2: when I'm thirty one, I'll probably be like, wow, I

384
00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:43,480
Speaker 2: was a fucking idiot when I.

385
00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:44,920
Speaker 1: Was Yeah, I've noticed it.

386
00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:47,320
Speaker 2: And now you're telling me that when out at five

387
00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:50,920
Speaker 2: years after that, yeah, be looking back to going wow,

388
00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:52,600
Speaker 2: I was a fucking idiot. Now I just feel like

389
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:54,960
Speaker 2: the biggest fucking idiot on the planet Earth right now.

390
00:18:55,520 --> 00:18:58,320
Speaker 1: No, I mean, don't feel that way, because like it's interesting,

391
00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:00,960
Speaker 1: you know, I noticed a change in my mentality from like,

392
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:03,240
Speaker 1: you know, eighteen to twenty three, from twenty three to

393
00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:05,960
Speaker 1: twenty five, twenty five to twenty eight, twenty eight to

394
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:08,919
Speaker 1: thirty two, and now thirty two to thirty five. It's

395
00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:11,760
Speaker 1: very interesting, like, you know, just seeing like these different

396
00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:15,840
Speaker 1: evolutions of myself. I really like, I think it's just

397
00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:18,439
Speaker 1: part of the human experience that you just grow and

398
00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:21,080
Speaker 1: you learn more, and the best thing to do is

399
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,880
Speaker 1: kind of just put your best foot forward and be peaceful,

400
00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:25,720
Speaker 1: you know, and try to just like kind of like

401
00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:28,240
Speaker 1: help people through their shit instead of just dragging them

402
00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:31,840
Speaker 1: with yours. You know, that's my that's my stuff, Man's

403
00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:32,879
Speaker 1: that's what's important to me.

404
00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:38,439
Speaker 2: Do you feel better, like at the age of thirty

405
00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:43,280
Speaker 2: five after a lifetime of you know, mental health issues,

406
00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:46,239
Speaker 2: do you feel better now than you have in the

407
00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:47,600
Speaker 2: past or broke?

408
00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:51,480
Speaker 1: No, it's a mess, and it's always going to be

409
00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:53,320
Speaker 1: a mess. It's never going to be a clean answer.

410
00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:55,199
Speaker 1: It's never gonna be Yeah, I feel great. Yeah, I

411
00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:58,240
Speaker 1: feel bad because every day is different and I need

412
00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:01,800
Speaker 1: every day to be different. Like there's where like earlier

413
00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:03,440
Speaker 1: this week, you know, I'm putting my head through a

414
00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:05,639
Speaker 1: wall because I'm so anxious and everything, you know, and

415
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:08,960
Speaker 1: I had really bad ideation earlier in that week, and

416
00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:11,640
Speaker 1: then you know, the week went on and it all

417
00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:13,879
Speaker 1: went away, and I like today I feel great, you know,

418
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:16,200
Speaker 1: I'm really excited. I got some D and D stuff

419
00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:18,840
Speaker 1: planned with friends later and that's going to be dope.

420
00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:22,520
Speaker 1: And you know, so like it's it's always a roller coaster.

421
00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:24,440
Speaker 1: You know. You can't you can't be like, oh, oh

422
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:26,840
Speaker 1: it's always bad, because it's not always bad. You know,

423
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:28,640
Speaker 1: learn to live in that moment, you know, go out

424
00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:30,680
Speaker 1: with your friends. When I'm out my friends, I'm not

425
00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:32,760
Speaker 1: telling myself, okay, you know you have to be MOPI.

426
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:34,320
Speaker 1: You have to be said, you have to be depressed

427
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:36,840
Speaker 1: about X y Z. You know, like, I'm out with

428
00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:38,360
Speaker 1: my friends, so I'm going to go have a good

429
00:20:38,359 --> 00:20:41,240
Speaker 1: time with them, you know. And when I'm by myself

430
00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:43,640
Speaker 1: and I got nothing to do, and I'm just kind

431
00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:46,240
Speaker 1: of like going over and over and over in my

432
00:20:46,359 --> 00:20:49,000
Speaker 1: head just reliving one thing, you know, like looking at

433
00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:52,240
Speaker 1: one little instance in my life and then being like, oh,

434
00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:54,120
Speaker 1: that means this, that means this, that means this. I'm

435
00:20:54,119 --> 00:20:55,320
Speaker 1: not going to get the job. I'm not going to

436
00:20:55,359 --> 00:20:58,000
Speaker 1: get this. This person hates me. I don't like doing

437
00:20:58,040 --> 00:20:59,919
Speaker 1: that to myself. So but you know, when I notice it,

438
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:02,840
Speaker 1: I tell you, I shut it off. I force it off,

439
00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:04,680
Speaker 1: and I go do something else. I put on music,

440
00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:07,080
Speaker 1: I play in a band, I get so much cathartic

441
00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:09,480
Speaker 1: energy out. I'm the vocalist of a metal band, and

442
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:10,879
Speaker 1: I get so much cathartic.

443
00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:12,639
Speaker 2: The vocalist of a metal band.

444
00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:15,280
Speaker 1: Hell yeah, brother, all right, I gotta.

445
00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:17,040
Speaker 2: I gotta ask you. All right, So I don't know

446
00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:19,359
Speaker 2: how comfortable you are sharing this stuff. But what is

447
00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:21,080
Speaker 2: what is your band?

448
00:21:21,359 --> 00:21:24,920
Speaker 1: Uh? The band? Am I allowed to promote on your stream?

449
00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:28,360
Speaker 2: Because I look, I would love I'd love to hear.

450
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:29,959
Speaker 2: Please promote if you want to.

451
00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:33,359
Speaker 1: We're actually dm are. Our current EP is d M

452
00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:35,199
Speaker 1: c A free, so you could actually even play it

453
00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:37,800
Speaker 1: on your stream where Reign of Fear are e I

454
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:42,000
Speaker 1: G N of Fear. You can find us on Spotify.

455
00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:45,920
Speaker 1: Our latest EP was called Haven Axiom. We also are

456
00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:49,359
Speaker 1: on Twitch at Reign of Fear Live. We go live

457
00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:53,320
Speaker 1: like twice a week every other week. Sometimes it's the

458
00:21:53,359 --> 00:21:57,240
Speaker 1: band playing video games, sometimes it's we have a full

459
00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:59,399
Speaker 1: set up where all four of us have our audio

460
00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:01,520
Speaker 1: pumped in through computer and we'll play like live shows.

461
00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:05,239
Speaker 1: And we also do a podcast about different albums. Right

462
00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:08,840
Speaker 1: now we have to do Dua Lipa and the Acacia Strains.

463
00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:13,399
Speaker 2: So it's an interesting How did you meet your band members.

464
00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:14,480
Speaker 2: How long have you guys been together?

465
00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:18,359
Speaker 1: Oh dude, I've been with this drummer for like twenty years.

466
00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:22,040
Speaker 1: Twenty plus years actually, because like I was in a

467
00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:25,200
Speaker 1: band in high school called of Chaos and Creation, and

468
00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:27,480
Speaker 1: you know, we did one talent show that was emceed

469
00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:31,160
Speaker 1: by mc foley and he comes out and he introduces us,

470
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:33,080
Speaker 1: and I just kind of go hand with it, you know.

471
00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:35,520
Speaker 1: I started learning how to do the death metal vocals then,

472
00:22:36,119 --> 00:22:38,040
Speaker 1: and I was working at Blockbuster and he comes in.

473
00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:41,920
Speaker 1: It's this tiny little blonde kid with our friend, our

474
00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:44,160
Speaker 1: other friend who is now in a band called Iapetus,

475
00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:47,000
Speaker 1: and they're doing really well, and he's like, hey, I

476
00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:48,560
Speaker 1: heard you do screams. Do you want to be in

477
00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:50,479
Speaker 1: my band? So I went and I tried out, and

478
00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:53,359
Speaker 1: then that was Warborne, and Warborne put out one really

479
00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:56,760
Speaker 1: bad CD and then we had a big falling out.

480
00:22:56,840 --> 00:22:58,680
Speaker 1: We didn't talk for like ten years, and then I came,

481
00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:01,440
Speaker 1: I went away to school, got a degree, came back

482
00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:04,320
Speaker 1: and wanted to do music again. And they just kicked

483
00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:06,359
Speaker 1: out their vocalist and I was just like, hey, you know,

484
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:08,719
Speaker 1: like let me get in there. So I try out

485
00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:10,399
Speaker 1: and they're like yeah, you want in. That was like

486
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:11,879
Speaker 1: seven eight years ago, So.

487
00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:15,360
Speaker 2: Like, all right, you do screams?

488
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:18,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, I do like the death metal grouls and everything.

489
00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:19,760
Speaker 1: I love that stuff, all right, always love that.

490
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:26,720
Speaker 2: We we gotta hear a scream. Headphone users, headphone users,

491
00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:31,240
Speaker 2: please take this time to lower your volume. I'm giving

492
00:23:31,280 --> 00:23:36,760
Speaker 2: you ample preparation, uh to this is this is your

493
00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:41,840
Speaker 2: moment to prepare for the raising of the volume. It's

494
00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:45,240
Speaker 2: going to be all in the red. Go ahead, give

495
00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:57,159
Speaker 2: us some some some heavy metal noises. Right, I was

496
00:23:57,200 --> 00:24:02,000
Speaker 2: half expecting a demon to be summoned in my room.

497
00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:02,959
Speaker 1: A little bit, a little bit. You gotta be careful.

498
00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:05,320
Speaker 2: Are are do you? Are you into?

499
00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:05,520
Speaker 1: Like?

500
00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:09,680
Speaker 2: Uh, I mean heavy metal? It's very like Satanists, demon

501
00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:10,960
Speaker 2: fucking hell.

502
00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:13,879
Speaker 1: Was when I was like younger and stuff.

503
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:14,600
Speaker 3: Uh.

504
00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:17,119
Speaker 1: I've developed my own like kind of like idea on

505
00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:20,680
Speaker 1: my religion and stuff like that. That's very Uh, it's

506
00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:24,160
Speaker 1: influenced by a lot of the Satanic stuff, but it's

507
00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:27,439
Speaker 1: not Satanic. It's like I just believe in my own power,

508
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:31,160
Speaker 1: in my own movement in my life. I've been the

509
00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:35,520
Speaker 1: only force that has kind of like pushed myself through things.

510
00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:38,199
Speaker 1: I've you know, like when I was real, I was

511
00:24:39,400 --> 00:24:45,359
Speaker 1: raised very Italian and uh that, uh it comes with

512
00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:47,800
Speaker 1: a lot of like Catholicism and everything, and I rebelled

513
00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:50,480
Speaker 1: hard against that, and uh you know that was that

514
00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:52,040
Speaker 1: was another thing. You know, like a lot of my

515
00:24:52,119 --> 00:24:54,600
Speaker 1: friends and stuff, their families got them into metal and

516
00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:56,960
Speaker 1: like their dad or their brother or their uncle. And

517
00:24:57,440 --> 00:24:59,679
Speaker 1: I discovered it on my own. So it's like just

518
00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:03,360
Speaker 1: another like caveat of like finding who I was and whatnot.

519
00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:07,399
Speaker 1: And uh yeah, I just there's something about it that

520
00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:09,679
Speaker 1: just feels good. And I just I like playing it

521
00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:11,679
Speaker 1: more than I like listening to it, to be honest,

522
00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:16,639
Speaker 1: But like I still jam my. Unfortunately, my favorite, my

523
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:20,680
Speaker 1: favorite artist took his own life two years ago and

524
00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:23,119
Speaker 1: it's been His name was trevorster Nadd. He was of

525
00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:25,720
Speaker 1: the Black Tali Murder. I mean like a lot of

526
00:25:25,760 --> 00:25:28,280
Speaker 1: like what I learned, what I wanted to be as

527
00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:31,719
Speaker 1: a vocalist and everything, like as a frontman, I learned

528
00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:34,680
Speaker 1: from watching him. And it was a bad blow because

529
00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:36,960
Speaker 1: there was a moment I had he was he was

530
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:40,280
Speaker 1: at a show in Brooklyn and I was there, and uh,

531
00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:42,159
Speaker 1: I didn't want to bother him. You know, he was

532
00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:44,360
Speaker 1: there with his girlfriend, and I just I really did

533
00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:45,840
Speaker 1: want to run over and be like, bro, I love

534
00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:47,320
Speaker 1: your lyrics. You know what did you mean by x

535
00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:49,280
Speaker 1: y Z? That's that the third asn't you know? That's

536
00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:53,679
Speaker 1: apparently my catch raises. But I didn't. I chose to

537
00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:55,639
Speaker 1: respect his space, and I like kept myself in the

538
00:25:55,640 --> 00:25:58,720
Speaker 1: corner and quiet, and you know, I was like, I'll

539
00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:00,400
Speaker 1: get to do it. I'll get to do it. It'll

540
00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:02,960
Speaker 1: be okay, It'll be okay. Then now I'd never get

541
00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:03,639
Speaker 1: the opportunity.

542
00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:07,119
Speaker 2: I just want to say, if anyone you know is

543
00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:09,080
Speaker 2: thinking back coming up to me at one of my

544
00:26:09,119 --> 00:26:12,240
Speaker 2: live shows to ask me what I mean when I

545
00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:15,240
Speaker 2: say that Alaska is a city, not a state, don't

546
00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:19,520
Speaker 2: ask me because I'll never tell you. What's your name again,

547
00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:24,040
Speaker 2: Sir Alexander Alexander Alexander is really really really great talking

548
00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:26,040
Speaker 2: to you. Man. Yeah, your story.

549
00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:27,080
Speaker 1: Thanks?

550
00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:30,760
Speaker 2: I uh, this was cool. This was a really really

551
00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:36,440
Speaker 2: cool interaction. Rain of Terror, Fear, Rein of Fear, Rain

552
00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:38,960
Speaker 2: of Fear. Okay, I was close. Rain of Fear. Everyone.

553
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:41,240
Speaker 2: Check out Rein of Fear. You guys on Instagram too.

554
00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:43,200
Speaker 2: If I go to Instagram, will I find you yep.

555
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:45,639
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're on Instagram, and I think the link of

556
00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:47,200
Speaker 1: the twitches on the Instagram too.

557
00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:50,359
Speaker 2: Very cool, very cool, Alexander. Is anything else do I

558
00:26:50,359 --> 00:26:52,080
Speaker 2: say to the people of the computer before we go.

559
00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:54,720
Speaker 1: Hey, man, just keep doing your best. You know you'll

560
00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:57,080
Speaker 1: make it and we'll remember we're all in this together.

561
00:26:57,200 --> 00:26:57,439
Speaker 3: You know.

562
00:26:57,560 --> 00:26:58,919
Speaker 1: Pick up your brothers when you see them.

563
00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:03,680
Speaker 2: Paul, thanks brother, take care, take care. Oh. I like

564
00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:08,399
Speaker 2: that guy. He was really great. You know, it's funny.

565
00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:10,560
Speaker 2: He brought up a lot of things that I'm always

566
00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:14,120
Speaker 2: thinking about, like that thing about uh, you know, think

567
00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:16,600
Speaker 2: thinking about five years ago, I was an idiot, and

568
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:19,399
Speaker 2: but now I feel like I haven't figured out but

569
00:27:19,440 --> 00:27:21,000
Speaker 2: you don't. And then it's like, oh my god, I'm

570
00:27:21,080 --> 00:27:24,320
Speaker 2: that's gonna that's gonna that's gonna happen every five years.

571
00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:27,840
Speaker 2: Every five years, I'm gonna realize that I've been, uh,

572
00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:35,000
Speaker 2: living stupidly this entire time. It's a little scary. It's

573
00:27:35,040 --> 00:27:38,640
Speaker 2: a little scary every day I am walking around as

574
00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:43,040
Speaker 2: a dumber version of myself than me in the future.

575
00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:49,439
Speaker 2: That's there's room for so much error in that. It

576
00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:54,480
Speaker 2: makes me fearful. But whatever, what are you gonna do?

577
00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:59,479
Speaker 2: That's all you your your brain. You only have the

578
00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:03,080
Speaker 2: information that you have at the time that you presently

579
00:28:03,119 --> 00:28:06,840
Speaker 2: exist to work off of. That's all you have. That's

580
00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:10,480
Speaker 2: all you ever possibly can have forever until you die.

581
00:28:11,119 --> 00:28:16,040
Speaker 2: So just just deal with it. That's what you got.

582
00:28:16,359 --> 00:28:21,960
Speaker 2: Run with that and keep trying to accumulate more information

583
00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:30,399
Speaker 2: as best as your skinny little brain can handle. And don't,

584
00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:34,639
Speaker 2: like I said, don't go to a foreign country to

585
00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:38,360
Speaker 2: meet a lady unless if you have other plans, you know,

586
00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:44,400
Speaker 2: get some museums written down, Go eat some fish. I

587
00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:46,480
Speaker 2: don't know what the fuck they have in Finland. You

588
00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:48,280
Speaker 2: know why I thought it was they have fish, and

589
00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:50,600
Speaker 2: that Finland is known for fish is because I thought

590
00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:54,960
Speaker 2: that's because it's finn Land. All right. That was stupid.

591
00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:59,160
Speaker 2: I'm gonna stop talking. Thanks for calling, Alexander. Attention, Europe,

592
00:28:59,600 --> 00:29:04,480
Speaker 2: I am bringing my wildly fun Therapy Gecko Live show

593
00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:09,200
Speaker 2: once again to your continent this fall, and you can

594
00:29:09,240 --> 00:29:14,000
Speaker 2: get tickets right now at therapy geckotour dot com for

595
00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:22,560
Speaker 2: the following European cities Amsterdam November twelfth, Berlin November thirteenth,

596
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:31,080
Speaker 2: Manchester November fourteenth, London November sixteenth, Cologne, Germany. We'll see

597
00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:35,640
Speaker 2: how many people come to that November eighteenth, Dublin, Ireland

598
00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:41,840
Speaker 2: November nineteenth, and Glasgow, Scotland November twenty first. Once again,

599
00:29:41,920 --> 00:29:45,360
Speaker 2: you can get tickets for all those shows, and you

600
00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:48,719
Speaker 2: can still get tickets from any of my US American

601
00:29:48,840 --> 00:29:55,240
Speaker 2: tour dates right now at therapygekotour dot com. These are

602
00:29:55,400 --> 00:29:58,000
Speaker 2: very fun shows. I did a Europe tour last year

603
00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:00,600
Speaker 2: and I had the time of my life. I hope

604
00:30:00,640 --> 00:30:04,440
Speaker 2: you guys come back out. That's therapy Gecko tour dot

605
00:30:04,440 --> 00:30:07,920
Speaker 2: com for tickets. Hope to see if folks there call

606
00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:12,600
Speaker 2: from Billy Hello, Hello, Hi, who is this Where are

607
00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:13,320
Speaker 2: you calling from?

608
00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:15,440
Speaker 3: Hello? I'm calling from England?

609
00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:19,040
Speaker 2: Actually why England might rock and roll?

610
00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:22,479
Speaker 3: Okay, don't let me brief on my tickets, all right?

611
00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:25,760
Speaker 2: I just bought the the Oh did you buy? I

612
00:30:25,880 --> 00:30:30,360
Speaker 2: just yeah, I just announced my Europe dates. Did you which?

613
00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:30,720
Speaker 1: Where are you?

614
00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:32,080
Speaker 2: Where? Where are you coming to? Which one are you

615
00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:32,400
Speaker 2: going to?

616
00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:33,920
Speaker 4: Oh?

617
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:37,720
Speaker 3: I didn't know there were multiple? Oh? Wait? Oh wait?

618
00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:40,640
Speaker 3: Sorry if weekend that was multiple in England. No, I'm

619
00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:42,960
Speaker 3: going to London one cool, No.

620
00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:45,600
Speaker 2: There are markable. No, I'm doing one in uh London

621
00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:46,520
Speaker 2: and one in Manchester.

622
00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:49,520
Speaker 3: Oh what Manchester's.

623
00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:51,440
Speaker 2: Hold on?

624
00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:51,800
Speaker 3: Wait?

625
00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:54,440
Speaker 2: Why did you hold on? Why did you buy tickets

626
00:30:54,440 --> 00:30:57,120
Speaker 2: for London instead of Manchester? If Manchester is closer?

627
00:30:57,640 --> 00:31:01,480
Speaker 3: It was the only well of soul, so like, what do.

628
00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:02,760
Speaker 2: You mean it was the only one? Where did you

629
00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:03,160
Speaker 2: see it?

630
00:31:03,760 --> 00:31:05,360
Speaker 3: I don't know. I just got an email and I

631
00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:07,719
Speaker 3: was in a meeting and I turned my camera off,

632
00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:10,120
Speaker 3: bought it and then put it back on. And I

633
00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:12,360
Speaker 3: haven't speaking. Someone will notice, and I don't know. I

634
00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:13,320
Speaker 3: don't really think about it.

635
00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:15,320
Speaker 2: That's funny whatever, I mean, what's that?

636
00:31:15,480 --> 00:31:15,600
Speaker 1: Man?

637
00:31:15,640 --> 00:31:18,720
Speaker 2: How's how's how's it going? Thanks for I'll see you.

638
00:31:18,760 --> 00:31:21,200
Speaker 2: I'll see you in November then, but before then, what's

639
00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:23,800
Speaker 2: what's going on? How how can I get you today?

640
00:31:25,520 --> 00:31:27,080
Speaker 3: Yeah? I don't know. I just kind of want to

641
00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:29,880
Speaker 3: talk about life because the problem I find is that

642
00:31:30,520 --> 00:31:33,760
Speaker 3: my life is really weird, and this is in like

643
00:31:33,920 --> 00:31:40,000
Speaker 3: every vector of my life. I mean, I mean, these

644
00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:42,960
Speaker 3: kind of problems range from like I've been harassing BBC

645
00:31:43,160 --> 00:31:48,000
Speaker 3: Radio to get me on and from that to being

646
00:31:48,040 --> 00:31:51,320
Speaker 3: closeted to my family and my mom walking in on

647
00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:56,120
Speaker 3: me being like a feminine man, which I don't really

648
00:31:56,120 --> 00:31:57,600
Speaker 3: know how to explain that there's a.

649
00:31:57,520 --> 00:32:00,120
Speaker 2: Lot going on all right, before you continues, before you

650
00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:03,000
Speaker 2: continue with new information, I have questions about the information

651
00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:08,800
Speaker 2: you've already provided. Oh okay, so okay, I'm keeping I

652
00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:10,440
Speaker 2: have questions about a lot of things. When you say

653
00:32:10,480 --> 00:32:12,360
Speaker 2: your mom walked in on you being a feminine man,

654
00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:13,760
Speaker 2: were you doing the buffalo bill thing?

655
00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:17,320
Speaker 3: The buffalo bill? What is the buffalo bill?

656
00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:21,240
Speaker 2: That's when you tuck your penis between your legs and

657
00:32:21,480 --> 00:32:23,760
Speaker 2: look into a mirror and go I would fuck me.

658
00:32:24,560 --> 00:32:27,520
Speaker 3: Oh yo, know, I mean I've done that, But no,

659
00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:31,720
Speaker 3: it wasn't that buffalo bill. I'm gonna use that phrase.

660
00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:36,360
Speaker 2: No, don't, don't use it just for context. Buffalo bill

661
00:32:36,440 --> 00:32:40,160
Speaker 2: killed a lot of people, so if maybe find it different,

662
00:32:40,320 --> 00:32:42,080
Speaker 2: I'm sure there's people who do that that have not

663
00:32:42,320 --> 00:32:48,440
Speaker 2: killed people. But whatever, So what was go ahead? You

664
00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:49,920
Speaker 2: were going to say things and I.

665
00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:55,800
Speaker 3: Said no, no, don't worry, don't okay. So this is

666
00:32:55,840 --> 00:32:59,280
Speaker 3: like back when I didn't own my own place. I've

667
00:32:59,320 --> 00:33:00,800
Speaker 3: just moved out, like a couple of months ago, so

668
00:33:00,880 --> 00:33:04,000
Speaker 3: now I'll do this all freely. But this was when

669
00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:08,600
Speaker 3: I was i'd say probably mid eighteen, So a couple

670
00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:10,880
Speaker 3: of years ago and I was looking at my parents

671
00:33:10,880 --> 00:33:14,640
Speaker 3: and you know, for ages doing my teens, I always

672
00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:17,480
Speaker 3: thought like that, ah, you know, I'm not gay. I

673
00:33:17,680 --> 00:33:21,600
Speaker 3: fuck that guy, you know, like the kind of transition

674
00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:25,640
Speaker 3: period per se. And then I really got into the

675
00:33:25,680 --> 00:33:28,760
Speaker 3: whole like this is when the like term I suppose

676
00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:33,000
Speaker 3: benboy kind of kicked off and it was like, oh, okay, yeah,

677
00:33:33,080 --> 00:33:35,720
Speaker 3: this is this is kind of cool. I mean I

678
00:33:35,760 --> 00:33:38,320
Speaker 3: would be one, but I mean I don't know, maybe

679
00:33:38,320 --> 00:33:40,320
Speaker 3: that's a reach. And then it suddenly kind of thing off.

680
00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:42,840
Speaker 3: I came eighteen off, like I'm going to buy all

681
00:33:42,880 --> 00:33:51,440
Speaker 3: these women clothes and wear them and yeah. So for

682
00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:55,240
Speaker 3: a while it was just me like just wearing these

683
00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:59,040
Speaker 3: long socks and skirts and stuff when no one was

684
00:33:59,080 --> 00:34:03,920
Speaker 3: in the house, and that that was kind of weird.

685
00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:07,320
Speaker 3: It was. It was nice, But the problem is is

686
00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:12,040
Speaker 3: that when you entered eight like communities like that as

687
00:34:12,080 --> 00:34:14,879
Speaker 3: like a freshly eighteen year old, there's a lot of

688
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:19,640
Speaker 3: like thirty plus people who are like, oh oh yeah,

689
00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:23,320
Speaker 3: you like like fresh meat. It's like, wait, wait when.

690
00:34:23,160 --> 00:34:25,719
Speaker 2: You say when you say enter these communities, is it

691
00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:27,879
Speaker 2: like were you like were you in like chat rooms and.

692
00:34:27,840 --> 00:34:31,520
Speaker 3: Ship Yeah, kind of it's not like like discord servers

693
00:34:31,560 --> 00:34:32,479
Speaker 3: and stuff like that.

694
00:34:33,120 --> 00:34:37,279
Speaker 2: So you're in like a discord server of people who

695
00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:40,320
Speaker 2: like to wear of guys who like to wear women's clothing.

696
00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:46,040
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

697
00:34:46,640 --> 00:34:52,040
Speaker 2: Basically you're surprised. You're surprised that just people in there

698
00:34:52,080 --> 00:34:53,120
Speaker 2: that want to fuck each other.

699
00:34:54,320 --> 00:34:58,759
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know. I I shouldn't be surprised.

700
00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:02,399
Speaker 3: But the weird part about is that some of them

701
00:35:02,400 --> 00:35:04,520
Speaker 3: are like forty and it's like I've been tho. The

702
00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:07,359
Speaker 3: one guy I told you who was like like a

703
00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:09,560
Speaker 3: father of like two kids and like had a wife

704
00:35:09,560 --> 00:35:12,120
Speaker 3: and everything, and like it was kind of like, Okay,

705
00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:15,200
Speaker 3: I need to kind of enter away from you. That

706
00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:16,600
Speaker 3: was very weird.

707
00:35:17,360 --> 00:35:23,799
Speaker 2: So what are you? I guess? Uh so so wait,

708
00:35:23,840 --> 00:35:25,120
Speaker 2: so by the way, so you said this was two

709
00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:26,120
Speaker 2: years ago, so you're.

710
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:28,759
Speaker 3: Twenty twenty one now.

711
00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:33,359
Speaker 2: I dude. It's something about the fucking English accent. You

712
00:35:33,880 --> 00:35:37,759
Speaker 2: sound like you're like a grown fucking man. You sound

713
00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:42,040
Speaker 2: like you're in your forties. That's why, for a second,

714
00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:43,719
Speaker 2: I didn't think it was that weird because I was like,

715
00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:47,640
Speaker 2: you sound like you're also forty and married with kids.

716
00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:49,440
Speaker 2: It's got It's just the English accent.

717
00:35:50,560 --> 00:35:53,960
Speaker 3: I promise you I am. I am twenty one, twenty

718
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:55,360
Speaker 3: two in a couple of months.

719
00:35:56,000 --> 00:36:05,120
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, So congratulations on this new found way of life.

720
00:36:05,320 --> 00:36:07,840
Speaker 2: I guess you could call it or hobby or whatever.

721
00:36:07,880 --> 00:36:11,359
Speaker 2: Are you? Are you having fun? Are you stoked? Are

722
00:36:11,360 --> 00:36:12,640
Speaker 2: you what's up?

723
00:36:13,320 --> 00:36:15,040
Speaker 3: I mean, it wasn't fun for a lot of time.

724
00:36:16,280 --> 00:36:18,480
Speaker 3: And I suppose I haven't really got to the kicker yet.

725
00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:19,760
Speaker 2: What's the kicker?

726
00:36:19,800 --> 00:36:24,120
Speaker 3: Because so one time? So okay. The one thing I've

727
00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:26,359
Speaker 3: also learned is that people on the intro a lot more.

728
00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:30,160
Speaker 3: Maybe it's just I've not been into people that are

729
00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:38,000
Speaker 3: very explorative, should we say. So. It was this one

730
00:36:38,040 --> 00:36:40,719
Speaker 3: time someone had bought me like this. You can get

731
00:36:40,719 --> 00:36:45,360
Speaker 3: like remote control. How do I praise this remote control

732
00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:50,400
Speaker 3: like mechanics that you use on your never regions and

733
00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:53,319
Speaker 3: it's like controlled for the internet. It's like someone like

734
00:36:53,400 --> 00:36:55,960
Speaker 3: bought me like one of those. It's like one hundred

735
00:36:55,960 --> 00:36:59,640
Speaker 3: and fifty pounds. Is like, oh my god, like you'd

736
00:36:59,640 --> 00:37:00,719
Speaker 3: spend that much money on me?

737
00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:04,839
Speaker 2: Hello, someone someone someone bought you a remote controlled vibrator

738
00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:07,120
Speaker 2: thing for you stick your ass.

739
00:37:07,440 --> 00:37:10,600
Speaker 3: Oh oh no. It wasn't just that it did that,

740
00:37:10,719 --> 00:37:14,040
Speaker 3: but also I can remember the name of it. It's

741
00:37:14,040 --> 00:37:17,399
Speaker 3: like it's like an edge or something like that, but

742
00:37:18,719 --> 00:37:22,120
Speaker 3: it's listen, you put it in your like kind of

743
00:37:22,280 --> 00:37:26,520
Speaker 3: rear entrance, but then also like vibrates your balls as well.

744
00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:30,640
Speaker 3: It's like a it's like the double team. It's it's pretty.

745
00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:35,160
Speaker 2: It's it was and you were okay, so somebody, somebody

746
00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:39,600
Speaker 2: bought you a little taint vibrator, and it's sounds the

747
00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:41,680
Speaker 2: way that you the way that you just talked about

748
00:37:41,719 --> 00:37:43,840
Speaker 2: it just now, it sounded like you were flattered that

749
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:47,640
Speaker 2: somebody would would would do that for you. Is that

750
00:37:47,680 --> 00:37:48,280
Speaker 2: how you felt?

751
00:37:49,160 --> 00:37:53,439
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, well it's actually yeah, I wouldn't feel flaster

752
00:37:53,640 --> 00:37:55,360
Speaker 3: if someone actually sent me another one of like a

753
00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:56,080
Speaker 3: week ago.

754
00:37:56,480 --> 00:37:59,000
Speaker 2: So uh, now you're doe. Now you got one for

755
00:37:59,080 --> 00:38:02,040
Speaker 2: your taint and one for your asshole. It's kind of

756
00:38:02,040 --> 00:38:05,400
Speaker 2: funny that these like these guys are like they're vying

757
00:38:05,719 --> 00:38:10,600
Speaker 2: for like real estates on you. Like one person owns

758
00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:14,360
Speaker 2: has the control, literally has a control to your taint,

759
00:38:14,480 --> 00:38:17,680
Speaker 2: and the other person has a remote control for your asshole.

760
00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:20,480
Speaker 3: Yeah. I mean the problem is is that when you

761
00:38:20,640 --> 00:38:22,560
Speaker 3: use it for a while, it gets a bit saturated,

762
00:38:22,840 --> 00:38:25,520
Speaker 3: So it's a bit like, yeah, it's almost like you're

763
00:38:25,560 --> 00:38:28,480
Speaker 3: sitting in a car after you use it for too long.

764
00:38:28,719 --> 00:38:30,920
Speaker 2: It's it's the law of diminishing returns.

765
00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:36,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's it needs to be used infrequently to kind

766
00:38:36,600 --> 00:38:40,200
Speaker 3: of get the maximum value out.

767
00:38:39,680 --> 00:38:42,520
Speaker 2: So is that you said you mentioned something about a kicker.

768
00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:43,360
Speaker 2: Is that the kicker?

769
00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:46,239
Speaker 3: Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh we're

770
00:38:46,239 --> 00:38:51,799
Speaker 3: not even there. Sorry. So one night there's this guy

771
00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:53,920
Speaker 3: and I wouldn't even lie it was it was really hot,

772
00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:57,839
Speaker 3: but uh it's kind of like, oh, do you want

773
00:38:57,880 --> 00:38:59,960
Speaker 3: to like, you know, do some like you know, east

774
00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:04,400
Speaker 3: like ship And I'm like, yeah, yeah, why not. We're

775
00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:08,759
Speaker 3: feeling frisky tonight. What I didn't realize is that I

776
00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:14,560
Speaker 3: wasn't in the house alone. Ah yeah, yes, oh oh

777
00:39:14,680 --> 00:39:19,400
Speaker 3: it was. It was not good. So this is like

778
00:39:19,520 --> 00:39:22,560
Speaker 3: me in my bedroom at like two in the morning,

779
00:39:22,840 --> 00:39:26,800
Speaker 3: right with this American guy who I don't know who's

780
00:39:26,840 --> 00:39:28,840
Speaker 3: where he's gone since But that's not the point of this.

781
00:39:30,160 --> 00:39:33,040
Speaker 3: It's me over the coll with his American guy and

782
00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:36,440
Speaker 3: you know, we're kind of sitting, I've got my camera on,

783
00:39:37,040 --> 00:39:40,720
Speaker 3: I'm in like these long back black socks, skirt.

784
00:39:41,760 --> 00:39:43,600
Speaker 2: You know, your face in these videos do you.

785
00:39:46,280 --> 00:39:50,680
Speaker 3: You know that's a that's a good question. I can't remember.

786
00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:53,239
Speaker 3: I can't remember. I think it probably did.

787
00:39:54,160 --> 00:39:57,200
Speaker 2: Maybe here's by the way, by the way, just oh,

788
00:39:57,239 --> 00:39:59,680
Speaker 2: I actually want to clarify that comment you put, like,

789
00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:06,200
Speaker 2: here's here's my thing. You probably shouldn't have your face

790
00:40:06,480 --> 00:40:09,600
Speaker 2: in the camera, but at the this is my pure

791
00:40:09,680 --> 00:40:12,120
Speaker 2: honest belief at the end of the day, even if

792
00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:18,120
Speaker 2: you do, it's like, who gives a ship, you know,

793
00:40:18,320 --> 00:40:20,840
Speaker 2: just own it whatever? Who cares anyway?

794
00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:25,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean to be honest, I just don't really

795
00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:26,560
Speaker 3: look at myself. I just kind of do it and

796
00:40:26,840 --> 00:40:28,000
Speaker 3: enjoy doing it, and that's it.

797
00:40:28,160 --> 00:40:35,359
Speaker 2: So yeah, okay, go ahead, all right, So you're you're

798
00:40:35,520 --> 00:40:38,719
Speaker 2: cyber and with the with the dude in Missouri.

799
00:40:38,719 --> 00:40:42,879
Speaker 3: Yeah, somewhere like that, I don't know. And then it's

800
00:40:43,200 --> 00:40:45,359
Speaker 3: like two in the morning, and I don't know how

801
00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:48,799
Speaker 3: much noise I was making because my mom like kind

802
00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:51,319
Speaker 3: of like doesn't knock her anything, just kind of walks in.

803
00:40:51,400 --> 00:40:54,200
Speaker 3: She's like, can you keep the noise down? And like

804
00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:56,279
Speaker 3: she was saying down and it's just cut and it

805
00:40:56,360 --> 00:41:00,719
Speaker 3: was just we just stare at you with the longest

806
00:41:00,760 --> 00:41:02,560
Speaker 3: ten seconds of my life. It was just we had

807
00:41:02,560 --> 00:41:06,759
Speaker 3: this staring competition. It's just me ass on camera, like

808
00:41:06,840 --> 00:41:10,040
Speaker 3: sitting in my chair. I don't even know how to

809
00:41:10,080 --> 00:41:12,680
Speaker 3: describe this. So like my heels were on the desk,

810
00:41:13,239 --> 00:41:16,239
Speaker 3: my like my legs were up in the chair and

811
00:41:16,280 --> 00:41:18,279
Speaker 3: I was sitting down but like shining my ass. Does

812
00:41:18,320 --> 00:41:18,919
Speaker 3: that makes sense?

813
00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:22,080
Speaker 2: Oh? You were like, well hold on, you you were

814
00:41:22,239 --> 00:41:27,400
Speaker 2: spread eagle with your heels on the fucking desk. Yeah,

815
00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:29,560
Speaker 2: and your mom and your do your mom came in.

816
00:41:30,560 --> 00:41:37,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I'm telling you it was like, you know,

817
00:41:37,640 --> 00:41:41,080
Speaker 4: four K cinematography like quality.

818
00:41:41,239 --> 00:41:43,799
Speaker 3: You got this in and she just like we had

819
00:41:43,800 --> 00:41:49,280
Speaker 3: the staring competition and she just broke down and yeah

820
00:41:49,360 --> 00:41:50,880
Speaker 3: and she did you hold that?

821
00:41:51,040 --> 00:41:54,360
Speaker 2: Ha ha? When when she opened the door, did you like,

822
00:41:54,719 --> 00:41:57,200
Speaker 2: did you did you stay spread eagle or did you

823
00:41:57,320 --> 00:41:59,000
Speaker 2: like readjust yourself?

824
00:41:59,480 --> 00:42:02,400
Speaker 3: No? No, no, no no no. I I just froze.

825
00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:05,960
Speaker 2: I couldn't moved. So you are so you're you are

826
00:42:06,680 --> 00:42:10,879
Speaker 2: spread eagle, Your asshole is spread out. You're wearing high

827
00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:14,840
Speaker 2: heels up on the desk, just staring at your mom.

828
00:42:16,840 --> 00:42:22,479
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, I mean it's yeah, yeah, I didn't really.

829
00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:26,879
Speaker 3: I wish I reacted, but I don't know.

830
00:42:27,320 --> 00:42:29,640
Speaker 2: It's just how long. How long were you guys staring

831
00:42:29,680 --> 00:42:30,319
Speaker 2: at each other for?

832
00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:33,560
Speaker 3: I don't know, the concept of time kind of went

833
00:42:33,600 --> 00:42:36,359
Speaker 3: out the window at that point. He was just kind

834
00:42:36,400 --> 00:42:42,440
Speaker 3: of stuck, and she just yeah, after that, she just

835
00:42:42,800 --> 00:42:45,920
Speaker 3: she went like like all fours on the four sight,

836
00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:50,479
Speaker 3: breaking down, like we're talking screen crying, all right, We're

837
00:42:50,480 --> 00:42:54,880
Speaker 3: talking like this was hysterical, Like it was almost like

838
00:42:55,080 --> 00:42:59,120
Speaker 3: someone had just died in the family, except the only

839
00:42:59,160 --> 00:43:01,880
Speaker 3: thing that died it was my my dignity, I suppose.

840
00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:07,080
Speaker 3: So yeah, she she's like trying, there's this whole thing

841
00:43:07,120 --> 00:43:07,640
Speaker 3: of like.

842
00:43:07,960 --> 00:43:09,240
Speaker 1: Why are you doing this at my house?

843
00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:11,719
Speaker 3: Are you? I didn't even know you were like into men.

844
00:43:11,800 --> 00:43:16,080
Speaker 3: It's like, oh okay, uh yeah, no, this is what

845
00:43:16,160 --> 00:43:18,680
Speaker 3: I do a meme while she's like having his breakdown, right,

846
00:43:19,400 --> 00:43:22,880
Speaker 3: and this is I just like, I can't think I

847
00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:25,759
Speaker 3: disconnected from the court at this point, because this isn't

848
00:43:25,840 --> 00:43:29,080
Speaker 3: that bit was caught on the court. I disconnected, But

849
00:43:29,120 --> 00:43:31,719
Speaker 3: they still have the remote to this thing that was

850
00:43:31,920 --> 00:43:34,000
Speaker 3: inside my rectum.

851
00:43:34,320 --> 00:43:39,920
Speaker 2: They still hit the remote. Yeah, absolutely fucked up.

852
00:43:40,560 --> 00:43:46,160
Speaker 3: Oh it was so bad that I don't even know, dude,

853
00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:51,279
Speaker 3: It's I was literally I was trying to stay serious, I.

854
00:43:51,280 --> 00:43:54,839
Speaker 2: Was like bright. So, so, so you're cybering with this

855
00:43:54,920 --> 00:43:58,759
Speaker 2: dude who has a remote control to your asshole, and

856
00:43:59,200 --> 00:44:03,359
Speaker 2: he see that your mom walks in on you and

857
00:44:03,440 --> 00:44:07,640
Speaker 2: decides that that's the right moment to start vibrating your asshole.

858
00:44:08,600 --> 00:44:09,880
Speaker 3: Yeah.

859
00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:12,560
Speaker 2: Psychopathic. Yeah.

860
00:44:13,239 --> 00:44:15,920
Speaker 3: But the I think the bit that was even weirder

861
00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:19,040
Speaker 3: is the fact that so I had like always kept

862
00:44:19,040 --> 00:44:21,400
Speaker 3: the vibrating like in myself, but like my ass was

863
00:44:21,480 --> 00:44:24,960
Speaker 3: never like properly on the chair, right, So I had

864
00:44:24,960 --> 00:44:26,879
Speaker 3: like I had sat up at this point, my ass

865
00:44:26,960 --> 00:44:29,480
Speaker 3: was properly on the chair and it was vibrating. This

866
00:44:29,719 --> 00:44:36,440
Speaker 3: chair was just vibrating the floorballing like there's no hiding it.

867
00:44:36,560 --> 00:44:37,600
Speaker 3: There's no hiding That.

868
00:44:37,520 --> 00:44:40,799
Speaker 2: Guy is a that that that dude is a is

869
00:44:40,840 --> 00:44:45,560
Speaker 2: a master control to hit the remote at that moment. So, okay,

870
00:44:45,640 --> 00:44:49,600
Speaker 2: so your see your mom starts crying, do you, like,

871
00:44:51,239 --> 00:44:52,759
Speaker 2: I mean, what do you do? Does she leave the

872
00:44:52,880 --> 00:44:57,480
Speaker 2: room or she's just crying while you're like, what happens?

873
00:44:58,520 --> 00:45:01,200
Speaker 3: I don't really that point is kind of a blur

874
00:45:01,280 --> 00:45:03,960
Speaker 3: because it's kind of like she try't. I remember we

875
00:45:03,960 --> 00:45:06,680
Speaker 3: were there for ages, Like we were there for ages.

876
00:45:07,040 --> 00:45:09,040
Speaker 3: She eventually just she just left the room and went

877
00:45:09,080 --> 00:45:12,000
Speaker 3: to bed. I was like, yeah, I gotta I gotta

878
00:45:12,040 --> 00:45:14,400
Speaker 3: shut this ship down. And I put it all in

879
00:45:14,480 --> 00:45:17,840
Speaker 3: the bag underneath my bed, which was kind of covered

880
00:45:17,880 --> 00:45:20,160
Speaker 3: up with drawers and like all my you know, all

881
00:45:20,160 --> 00:45:24,040
Speaker 3: my skirts and sucks and you know colors and you know,

882
00:45:24,120 --> 00:45:27,799
Speaker 3: like the fucking choke collar ship. Put it all under

883
00:45:27,800 --> 00:45:29,680
Speaker 3: my bed. I was like, yeah, I just I just

884
00:45:29,920 --> 00:45:34,200
Speaker 3: I'll just be a guy for now whatever, And and

885
00:45:34,239 --> 00:45:36,440
Speaker 3: then she found the bag. I don't know when she

886
00:45:36,520 --> 00:45:38,400
Speaker 3: found the bag, because I must have been out at

887
00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:40,759
Speaker 3: this point, but I remember one time I was like,

888
00:45:41,960 --> 00:45:43,879
Speaker 3: you know, it's been a couple of weeks, we'll put

889
00:45:43,880 --> 00:45:47,080
Speaker 3: it back on, and it's all gone like this, I'm

890
00:45:47,120 --> 00:45:49,760
Speaker 3: not even talking just to clothes, like the toys as well.

891
00:45:50,560 --> 00:45:53,839
Speaker 3: Like she I, which I can't believe, like she even

892
00:45:54,120 --> 00:45:56,040
Speaker 3: like had the guts to do. She like pick must

893
00:45:56,040 --> 00:46:00,640
Speaker 3: have picked up with like bare hands something Yeah yeah,

894
00:46:00,719 --> 00:46:04,279
Speaker 3: oh not good. So that all went. I think it

895
00:46:04,360 --> 00:46:08,400
Speaker 3: was like five pounds of like clothing just like gone.

896
00:46:08,440 --> 00:46:10,720
Speaker 2: I'm sorry to interrupt your story, but this does remind

897
00:46:10,760 --> 00:46:12,440
Speaker 2: me of a time where I used to have this

898
00:46:12,640 --> 00:46:18,719
Speaker 2: uh uh t shirt that I masturbated on frequently, and

899
00:46:19,040 --> 00:46:21,280
Speaker 2: I always kept it in the back of my closet

900
00:46:22,320 --> 00:46:26,520
Speaker 2: when I was when I was living at home and

901
00:46:27,280 --> 00:46:29,839
Speaker 2: I came into my closet once and it was hung up.

902
00:46:30,760 --> 00:46:33,040
Speaker 2: Oh my god, fucking yeah, I was hung up on

903
00:46:33,080 --> 00:46:35,920
Speaker 2: a clothing what do you call that? A rack? Whatever?

904
00:46:36,480 --> 00:46:38,719
Speaker 2: It was hung up on my closet, and I was like,

905
00:46:39,239 --> 00:46:41,160
Speaker 2: that's the most horrifying thing I've ever seen in my

906
00:46:41,320 --> 00:46:41,840
Speaker 2: entire life.

907
00:46:42,520 --> 00:46:44,640
Speaker 3: Wait, so, did were you wearing the shirt and did

908
00:46:44,880 --> 00:46:46,840
Speaker 3: just on do you just kind of lay it out

909
00:46:47,040 --> 00:46:49,719
Speaker 3: to kind of project go onto the can? Wait?

910
00:46:49,760 --> 00:46:52,120
Speaker 2: Wait, well, hol on, you hold on? You think I

911
00:46:52,239 --> 00:46:56,320
Speaker 2: went Winnie the Pooh style and just arked my dick

912
00:46:56,440 --> 00:46:59,480
Speaker 2: up to my face and geezed on the shirt while

913
00:46:59,520 --> 00:47:00,279
Speaker 2: I was wearing it.

914
00:47:00,960 --> 00:47:02,840
Speaker 3: Hey, I mean, look, I mean we've all done it

915
00:47:02,840 --> 00:47:03,879
Speaker 3: at least once.

916
00:47:03,680 --> 00:47:07,600
Speaker 2: Right, That's not what I did, But that is funny

917
00:47:07,640 --> 00:47:10,000
Speaker 2: that that's the first thing in mind. No, I just

918
00:47:10,080 --> 00:47:12,000
Speaker 2: laid it out like like how you would with U

919
00:47:12,640 --> 00:47:15,040
Speaker 2: I don't know, paper towels or whatever. But that's I

920
00:47:15,080 --> 00:47:16,960
Speaker 2: was gonna say, I'll do that next time. But I'm

921
00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:18,880
Speaker 2: I'm never never going to do that.

922
00:47:19,480 --> 00:47:23,399
Speaker 3: My question is what was on the shut I think

923
00:47:23,440 --> 00:47:23,759
Speaker 3: it was.

924
00:47:25,080 --> 00:47:28,080
Speaker 2: I think it was Rick and Morty. Anyway, how's your

925
00:47:28,120 --> 00:47:29,439
Speaker 2: relationship with your mom going?

926
00:47:32,320 --> 00:47:37,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, No, it's Frick and Malty. Is crazy.

927
00:47:38,880 --> 00:47:42,000
Speaker 2: I wasn't thinking about Ricking, but they were just on

928
00:47:42,040 --> 00:47:44,680
Speaker 2: the I think I wasn't thinking about Rick and Morty

929
00:47:44,719 --> 00:47:46,880
Speaker 2: while I was doing it. It was they were just happen.

930
00:47:49,040 --> 00:47:49,360
Speaker 3: Crossed.

931
00:47:49,560 --> 00:47:52,719
Speaker 2: It was on the others. I think I would it

932
00:47:52,800 --> 00:47:54,960
Speaker 2: was inside out and so I never really would like

933
00:47:55,160 --> 00:47:59,719
Speaker 2: saw the Rick and Morty design, but uh, it was

934
00:47:59,800 --> 00:48:05,000
Speaker 2: that anyway. Whatever, what's what's so that's your relationship with

935
00:48:05,040 --> 00:48:05,399
Speaker 2: your mom?

936
00:48:06,280 --> 00:48:10,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, so, I mean it's okay. We've never really discussed

937
00:48:10,440 --> 00:48:14,160
Speaker 3: it since and I was kind of so I bought

938
00:48:14,160 --> 00:48:18,759
Speaker 3: a house. Well maybe I'm what we in July? So

939
00:48:20,239 --> 00:48:21,760
Speaker 3: about three four months ago?

940
00:48:22,600 --> 00:48:23,919
Speaker 2: You bought a house at twenty one.

941
00:48:24,960 --> 00:48:27,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'll be honest. I did land on my feet

942
00:48:27,160 --> 00:48:32,560
Speaker 3: a bit. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I do cybersecurity

943
00:48:32,600 --> 00:48:35,520
Speaker 3: and do a lot of like engineering stuff.

944
00:48:35,840 --> 00:48:38,240
Speaker 2: So how much does a house in England cost?

945
00:48:38,680 --> 00:48:41,840
Speaker 3: Like, I mean, it depends where you buy it. I

946
00:48:41,840 --> 00:48:44,400
Speaker 3: mean mine mine was about like one hundred and fifty thousand,

947
00:48:44,480 --> 00:48:46,279
Speaker 3: which negotia down.

948
00:48:47,200 --> 00:48:50,000
Speaker 2: That's actually that's pretty that's amazing for like in London.

949
00:48:51,239 --> 00:48:52,759
Speaker 3: Oh no, no, no, no in London. This is like

950
00:48:52,760 --> 00:48:55,040
Speaker 3: in Newcastle, so it's like four hours north.

951
00:48:55,640 --> 00:48:57,240
Speaker 2: Holy shit, that's pretty great.

952
00:48:57,880 --> 00:49:00,759
Speaker 3: Yeah, they left this home theater hear as well, so

953
00:49:02,080 --> 00:49:02,680
Speaker 3: I can be a.

954
00:49:02,719 --> 00:49:05,359
Speaker 2: Home theater for one hundred and fifty grand.

955
00:49:05,640 --> 00:49:08,240
Speaker 3: Oh man, they did. They didn't take it down because

956
00:49:08,239 --> 00:49:09,799
Speaker 3: they were like, uh, do you want to We don't

957
00:49:09,800 --> 00:49:12,360
Speaker 3: really need a cay bob take it down. Well, okay, sure,

958
00:49:12,719 --> 00:49:14,560
Speaker 3: and I've ready used it. I'm gonna be honest, like

959
00:49:14,600 --> 00:49:18,319
Speaker 3: I've just kind of I got it. I'm not there,

960
00:49:18,320 --> 00:49:18,640
Speaker 3: all right.

961
00:49:18,719 --> 00:49:21,520
Speaker 2: So you bought you bought your own house where you

962
00:49:21,600 --> 00:49:26,920
Speaker 2: can dress like a woman and cyber sex dudes all

963
00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:31,480
Speaker 2: you fucking want? Uh what what what happens? What happened

964
00:49:31,520 --> 00:49:32,479
Speaker 2: with your with your mom?

965
00:49:32,560 --> 00:49:32,640
Speaker 1: Like?

966
00:49:32,680 --> 00:49:35,200
Speaker 2: Did it? Did it? I found my relationship with my

967
00:49:35,239 --> 00:49:38,600
Speaker 2: mom also improved significantly once I would say, moved out

968
00:49:39,000 --> 00:49:42,759
Speaker 2: and and also you know, got my own place to masturbate.

969
00:49:42,840 --> 00:49:46,799
Speaker 2: That's very healthy, helpful thing. Well, so how again, how

970
00:49:46,800 --> 00:49:47,960
Speaker 2: did how's your relationship with her?

971
00:49:48,000 --> 00:49:48,200
Speaker 1: Now?

972
00:49:49,680 --> 00:49:53,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean it's okay. I mean I did go

973
00:49:53,520 --> 00:49:56,040
Speaker 3: back to my mom's like a single parent, so she's

974
00:49:56,120 --> 00:49:58,319
Speaker 3: like she's not got anyone talk to. My sisters has

975
00:49:58,360 --> 00:50:04,560
Speaker 3: gone to Canada for free for wants to work, So yeah,

976
00:50:04,640 --> 00:50:07,399
Speaker 3: she's kind of alone. So she's like, oh, okay, I

977
00:50:07,400 --> 00:50:09,080
Speaker 3: did this, I did that day and she calls me

978
00:50:09,080 --> 00:50:13,000
Speaker 3: on time and stuff and yeah, that's fine, But in

979
00:50:13,080 --> 00:50:16,760
Speaker 3: terms of the actual situation, we never discussed it ever again.

980
00:50:16,880 --> 00:50:18,640
Speaker 3: And I know when I was moving out, I was

981
00:50:18,719 --> 00:50:22,759
Speaker 3: kind of thinking, I kind of want to just ask

982
00:50:22,800 --> 00:50:24,759
Speaker 3: the thing closed back because I can't really find where

983
00:50:24,840 --> 00:50:27,759
Speaker 3: I bought them again because it was over like a

984
00:50:27,840 --> 00:50:31,799
Speaker 3: variety of sites like Amazon, she you know, ship like that.

985
00:50:31,840 --> 00:50:33,960
Speaker 3: Some of it was off I express like, some of

986
00:50:33,960 --> 00:50:39,040
Speaker 3: it was dirt cheap. But yeah, I never asked in

987
00:50:39,080 --> 00:50:41,760
Speaker 3: the end, and I don't think I am going to ask.

988
00:50:42,400 --> 00:50:45,640
Speaker 3: But since since I've moved out, I've been able to

989
00:50:45,640 --> 00:50:48,520
Speaker 3: get some other stuff. Someone bought me a flashlight as well,

990
00:50:48,840 --> 00:50:53,959
Speaker 3: so we've got like the triple team of stuff. Now. Yeah,

991
00:50:54,239 --> 00:51:01,720
Speaker 3: it's it's pretty wild way doing my spare time now, Yeah, well.

992
00:51:01,600 --> 00:51:03,680
Speaker 2: It sounds it sounds like you spend a lot of

993
00:51:03,719 --> 00:51:05,000
Speaker 2: time on the computer.

994
00:51:06,520 --> 00:51:10,120
Speaker 3: Yeah. I've been called chronically online once. I didn't take

995
00:51:10,160 --> 00:51:10,719
Speaker 3: that too well.

996
00:51:12,040 --> 00:51:15,080
Speaker 2: So so so so how did the conversation like the

997
00:51:15,200 --> 00:51:16,920
Speaker 2: first few days, because it sounds like your mom like

998
00:51:17,160 --> 00:51:20,320
Speaker 2: was really upset and she like threw away all your

999
00:51:20,880 --> 00:51:24,080
Speaker 2: stuff and so like, how did the conversation like what

1000
00:51:24,280 --> 00:51:26,960
Speaker 2: was what was the what was the vibe around the

1001
00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:29,240
Speaker 2: house for the next few days weeks?

1002
00:51:29,560 --> 00:51:35,120
Speaker 3: Oh no, oh god, Oh don't even Oh god. It

1003
00:51:35,160 --> 00:51:38,279
Speaker 3: makes me still sick now because it was just so horrific.

1004
00:51:38,440 --> 00:51:42,040
Speaker 3: It was like it was like I always got that

1005
00:51:42,120 --> 00:51:44,440
Speaker 3: look of like, you know, not when like you crease

1006
00:51:44,560 --> 00:51:46,520
Speaker 3: us one, but it's like the eyes of I know

1007
00:51:46,600 --> 00:51:49,879
Speaker 3: what you did right, and I think we I think

1008
00:51:49,920 --> 00:51:53,400
Speaker 3: we did. Actually I kind of briefly remember a discussion,

1009
00:51:53,440 --> 00:51:54,960
Speaker 3: but it wasn't I remember it wasn't that long because

1010
00:51:55,000 --> 00:51:56,920
Speaker 3: I was like, I can't bother with this. But she

1011
00:51:57,040 --> 00:51:59,160
Speaker 3: was saying like, look, it's fine if you're having a

1012
00:51:59,239 --> 00:52:00,319
Speaker 3: quick tug in the else, but I.

1013
00:52:00,320 --> 00:52:05,600
Speaker 2: Don't want to do I love British people, dude, it's fine.

1014
00:52:05,600 --> 00:52:10,800
Speaker 3: I don't want to have that discussion with my mom.

1015
00:52:11,040 --> 00:52:15,080
Speaker 3: That's wild. Like I can't do that. I can't do that.

1016
00:52:15,560 --> 00:52:20,480
Speaker 3: It's so long. But yeah, I mean that was it.

1017
00:52:20,560 --> 00:52:22,400
Speaker 3: I was just kind of like, nah, I can't do this.

1018
00:52:22,640 --> 00:52:25,480
Speaker 3: And I mean she also said like, oh, so, like,

1019
00:52:25,680 --> 00:52:27,560
Speaker 3: what actually is your sexuality? I was like, I don't know.

1020
00:52:27,640 --> 00:52:30,080
Speaker 3: I'm just into anyone I want because to be honest,

1021
00:52:30,120 --> 00:52:32,520
Speaker 3: I don't really believe in the whole like, oh I'm

1022
00:52:32,560 --> 00:52:35,600
Speaker 3: into like you know, I have to have this label.

1023
00:52:35,600 --> 00:52:38,000
Speaker 3: I'm just like, well, if I like you sexually, I

1024
00:52:38,080 --> 00:52:40,560
Speaker 3: like you sexually. And if I don't, I don't. That's it.

1025
00:52:40,760 --> 00:52:41,040
Speaker 2: I don't.

1026
00:52:41,120 --> 00:52:44,879
Speaker 3: I don't give a ship like that's it, like, oh,

1027
00:52:44,920 --> 00:52:48,359
Speaker 3: you're only into girls, ringing into non bindary whatever. Who cares? Man?

1028
00:52:48,680 --> 00:52:50,600
Speaker 3: I just I just I just want to love who

1029
00:52:50,680 --> 00:52:53,799
Speaker 3: or want to love and that's it. So but yeah,

1030
00:52:53,840 --> 00:52:55,319
Speaker 3: I just kind of said that, and she's like, well,

1031
00:52:55,680 --> 00:52:58,560
Speaker 3: I don't want to understand how you can only like

1032
00:52:58,560 --> 00:53:01,040
Speaker 3: like everyone. You're saying like men or women and that.

1033
00:53:01,320 --> 00:53:05,000
Speaker 3: I was like, okay, all right, all right, gang, I'm

1034
00:53:05,000 --> 00:53:07,719
Speaker 3: going to I didn't say all right, gang, but that's

1035
00:53:07,800 --> 00:53:10,200
Speaker 3: kind of my generic reaction. And I was just like,

1036
00:53:10,280 --> 00:53:13,840
Speaker 3: I can't come up with this. No, it just went upstairs.

1037
00:53:13,880 --> 00:53:18,319
Speaker 3: And yeah, I never really talked about it again, and

1038
00:53:18,760 --> 00:53:23,600
Speaker 3: I think to this day it's something that's scarred both

1039
00:53:23,640 --> 00:53:27,920
Speaker 3: of us and it's just one of those unspoken scenarios.

1040
00:53:28,080 --> 00:53:29,880
Speaker 3: Although I'm starting to think, like, should I bring it

1041
00:53:29,960 --> 00:53:32,840
Speaker 3: up at like the funeral of like memories that happened,

1042
00:53:32,960 --> 00:53:34,240
Speaker 3: you know when they like read that a book.

1043
00:53:34,320 --> 00:53:36,279
Speaker 2: No, I don't think you should bring it up at

1044
00:53:36,280 --> 00:53:40,080
Speaker 2: the funeral. Well I should bring up your mom? Who

1045
00:53:40,120 --> 00:53:43,520
Speaker 2: were whose funeral? Do you want to bring up your

1046
00:53:43,560 --> 00:53:47,120
Speaker 2: mom walking in on you gaping your asshole to a camera?

1047
00:53:48,440 --> 00:53:51,720
Speaker 3: Hey, I mean I don't know most of the people

1048
00:53:51,800 --> 00:53:55,879
Speaker 3: by that point, I won't know, So I don't know.

1049
00:53:56,239 --> 00:53:58,080
Speaker 3: I don't know, man, I don't. I don't.

1050
00:53:59,680 --> 00:54:02,520
Speaker 2: Harry and the quick tug.

1051
00:54:03,000 --> 00:54:04,760
Speaker 3: Harry Potter and the quick tug.

1052
00:54:05,280 --> 00:54:07,960
Speaker 2: That's so funny. But I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm using,

1053
00:54:08,120 --> 00:54:11,600
Speaker 2: I'm using. I'm going for a quick tug all the

1054
00:54:11,640 --> 00:54:14,520
Speaker 2: time now it's my new thing, and it's just it.

1055
00:54:14,600 --> 00:54:16,719
Speaker 3: Just sounds a bit vile. Man, I don't know.

1056
00:54:17,400 --> 00:54:19,240
Speaker 2: What do you mean? That's the most that's the most

1057
00:54:19,360 --> 00:54:23,120
Speaker 2: wholesome way I've that you could possibly describe masturbation. There's

1058
00:54:23,200 --> 00:54:24,080
Speaker 2: way more.

1059
00:54:24,480 --> 00:54:28,440
Speaker 3: I'd say the word masturbation is just wholesome. A quick tug.

1060
00:54:28,480 --> 00:54:30,160
Speaker 3: It just sounds a bit weird, Like.

1061
00:54:31,440 --> 00:54:33,960
Speaker 2: God, yeah, that No, that would horrify me too if

1062
00:54:34,000 --> 00:54:40,960
Speaker 2: my British mom said that. But you're cool with her now, yeah, I.

1063
00:54:40,880 --> 00:54:43,799
Speaker 3: Mean yeah, we've kind of just forgotten about it. Well

1064
00:54:43,840 --> 00:54:47,440
Speaker 3: she's forgotten about it, I clearly have. But yeah, it's

1065
00:54:48,000 --> 00:54:50,600
Speaker 3: still scares me. But uh, yeah, that's pretty.

1066
00:54:50,640 --> 00:54:54,360
Speaker 2: I mean you sound like overall, you sound like, uh,

1067
00:54:54,400 --> 00:54:56,840
Speaker 2: you're doing well. I mean, you bought a fucking house

1068
00:54:56,880 --> 00:54:59,680
Speaker 2: at twenty one, you got a job, you got your

1069
00:54:59,719 --> 00:55:02,719
Speaker 2: own goon cave, You're you seem like you're doing well.

1070
00:55:02,760 --> 00:55:04,839
Speaker 2: Am I mistaken? H?

1071
00:55:04,920 --> 00:55:08,480
Speaker 3: Yeah? I think things are going well. Yeah, I don't know.

1072
00:55:09,520 --> 00:55:11,600
Speaker 3: I don't I don't think about whether things are going

1073
00:55:11,600 --> 00:55:13,200
Speaker 3: well or not. I just kind of do things and

1074
00:55:13,320 --> 00:55:15,919
Speaker 3: that's it. I don't know. I'm a very simple man

1075
00:55:16,880 --> 00:55:21,080
Speaker 3: or women at times. It depends sence on time of day,

1076
00:55:21,560 --> 00:55:25,120
Speaker 3: but yeah, I'm pretty simple. I just I have a

1077
00:55:25,239 --> 00:55:29,080
Speaker 3: you know, I just do things and it rock and roll.

1078
00:55:29,600 --> 00:55:33,120
Speaker 2: Rock and roll. Well, thanks for sharing all of this.

1079
00:55:33,880 --> 00:55:37,120
Speaker 2: Do you still have the like the the little vibrator

1080
00:55:37,200 --> 00:55:40,759
Speaker 2: things are they like? Is it like neurolink where they

1081
00:55:40,920 --> 00:55:43,440
Speaker 2: like install it into you or you can take it

1082
00:55:43,480 --> 00:55:46,240
Speaker 2: out at will.

1083
00:55:47,160 --> 00:55:49,080
Speaker 3: Yeah? No, they actually put it in my brain and

1084
00:55:49,120 --> 00:55:53,279
Speaker 3: they fucking yeah, I get vibrated at work. No, it's

1085
00:55:53,360 --> 00:55:56,520
Speaker 3: just these little plastic things. It's like a what's it

1086
00:55:56,560 --> 00:55:59,680
Speaker 3: called like eleventh I think that's a break. That's a

1087
00:55:59,719 --> 00:56:04,440
Speaker 3: brand Frank Loven's Dowstairs. Just to twice find.

1088
00:56:07,120 --> 00:56:08,560
Speaker 2: You don't have you do not have to give a

1089
00:56:08,600 --> 00:56:09,520
Speaker 2: live demonstration.

1090
00:56:09,640 --> 00:56:13,120
Speaker 3: It's okay, no, no, it's I mean I can if

1091
00:56:13,120 --> 00:56:20,799
Speaker 3: you want. I mean, I'm looking at Loup, the the

1092
00:56:20,880 --> 00:56:24,359
Speaker 3: cat is the you know, we got the whole nine

1093
00:56:24,400 --> 00:56:24,879
Speaker 3: yards here.

1094
00:56:26,600 --> 00:56:27,520
Speaker 2: What's your name again?

1095
00:56:28,320 --> 00:56:28,880
Speaker 3: It's Billy.

1096
00:56:30,239 --> 00:56:32,920
Speaker 2: Give my real name on him of Billy. That's a

1097
00:56:33,040 --> 00:56:35,160
Speaker 2: very that's I can tell it's a fake name because

1098
00:56:35,160 --> 00:56:39,120
Speaker 2: it's an extremely American name. There is no.

1099
00:56:40,200 --> 00:56:42,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, let's say it's fake. Let's say it's fake and

1100
00:56:42,640 --> 00:56:43,560
Speaker 3: just go with up.

1101
00:56:44,640 --> 00:56:48,840
Speaker 2: Uh, Billy. Well, I'll see you in uh in November

1102
00:56:48,880 --> 00:56:51,600
Speaker 2: at the at the London show. Thanks for getting getting tickets. Man,

1103
00:56:51,640 --> 00:56:52,960
Speaker 2: Is there anything else you want to say to the

1104
00:56:53,000 --> 00:56:56,440
Speaker 2: people of the computer or your mom if she's watching

1105
00:56:56,520 --> 00:56:57,040
Speaker 2: before we go?

1106
00:56:58,760 --> 00:57:03,040
Speaker 3: Hi, mom? Uh, I'd say, do things whilst you have

1107
00:57:03,120 --> 00:57:06,200
Speaker 3: the chance, or you'll end up regressing it for the

1108
00:57:06,200 --> 00:57:08,600
Speaker 3: rest of your life. That's a whole different story that

1109
00:57:08,680 --> 00:57:10,640
Speaker 3: I never told. But you don't want to hear that.

1110
00:57:10,680 --> 00:57:14,279
Speaker 3: It's sad. But yeah, so that's my message into that,

1111
00:57:14,400 --> 00:57:16,200
Speaker 3: so swag.

1112
00:57:16,600 --> 00:57:21,280
Speaker 2: Well, thanks for calling, and let's all let's all, uh,

1113
00:57:21,480 --> 00:57:23,160
Speaker 2: let's all go for a quick tug. You know what,

1114
00:57:23,200 --> 00:57:24,840
Speaker 2: You're right. It does sound weird. I'm never gonna say

1115
00:57:24,880 --> 00:57:25,200
Speaker 2: it again.

1116
00:57:25,440 --> 00:57:28,680
Speaker 3: Yeah no, come on, man, just just say masturbation. It's fine,

1117
00:57:28,760 --> 00:57:29,520
Speaker 3: like all.

1118
00:57:29,480 --> 00:57:35,920
Speaker 2: Right, all right, all right, all right, let's take care.

1119
00:57:36,000 --> 00:57:38,760
Speaker 3: Man, say it back.

1120
00:57:39,400 --> 00:57:42,280
Speaker 2: I'm I don't, I'm it feels weird. I don't like

1121
00:57:42,360 --> 00:57:46,640
Speaker 2: I don't. I it feels weird to say because I

1122
00:57:46,680 --> 00:57:50,640
Speaker 2: don't I appreciate I can I I'll say that I

1123
00:57:50,680 --> 00:57:59,200
Speaker 2: appreciate you. I appreciate you coming in being vulnerable hun

1124
00:57:59,640 --> 00:58:03,520
Speaker 2: or like. No, it's no being sincere and being sincere,

1125
00:58:03,560 --> 00:58:08,120
Speaker 2: but love love. I like to reserve love for uh,

1126
00:58:08,200 --> 00:58:12,520
Speaker 2: you know, I guess, uh, I don't know. I guess

1127
00:58:12,720 --> 00:58:15,280
Speaker 2: I find out, all right, all right, I guess I

1128
00:58:15,320 --> 00:58:17,000
Speaker 2: guess I love. I guess I love you in this

1129
00:58:17,120 --> 00:58:22,479
Speaker 2: sense that like I love like spiritually, I love all

1130
00:58:22,520 --> 00:58:26,040
Speaker 2: of humanity. And you're counting that, Okay, I.

1131
00:58:28,080 --> 00:58:31,960
Speaker 3: Go take that as enough of a personalized love. I

1132
00:58:32,240 --> 00:58:35,520
Speaker 3: will appreciate that. I think. One more thing I shall

1133
00:58:35,560 --> 00:58:40,240
Speaker 3: completely forgot is that I do it's funny. I registered

1134
00:58:40,280 --> 00:58:46,440
Speaker 3: a white a white no, a website called Billy dot mom.

1135
00:58:46,760 --> 00:58:48,960
Speaker 3: That's not a joke, by the way, I have registered that.

1136
00:58:49,200 --> 00:58:52,040
Speaker 2: Billy's that mom. I don't even I don't want to

1137
00:58:52,120 --> 00:58:53,680
Speaker 2: know what's on that work.

1138
00:58:53,720 --> 00:58:56,680
Speaker 3: No, don't no, don't worry. It's not like porn or anything.

1139
00:58:56,720 --> 00:58:59,200
Speaker 3: It's just it's literally just like a Twitter alternative and

1140
00:58:59,240 --> 00:59:04,400
Speaker 3: that's it, which it's it's stupid. But I kind of

1141
00:59:04,400 --> 00:59:06,240
Speaker 3: after the whole thing, I was kind of like, I

1142
00:59:06,280 --> 00:59:07,720
Speaker 3: don't know, because I do a little bit of text

1143
00:59:07,720 --> 00:59:10,680
Speaker 3: stuff and I was like, oh, well, I wish I

1144
00:59:10,880 --> 00:59:13,479
Speaker 3: set like a website as I just thought Billy's dot

1145
00:59:13,480 --> 00:59:18,720
Speaker 3: mom funny, and then now I've kind of thought the

1146
00:59:18,720 --> 00:59:20,600
Speaker 3: the correlation between the two.

1147
00:59:21,360 --> 00:59:27,400
Speaker 5: So yeah, I feel like I'm still not going to

1148
00:59:27,480 --> 00:59:33,000
Speaker 5: go there, but thank you for sharing, and uh, good luck, Billy.

1149
00:59:33,040 --> 00:59:34,720
Speaker 2: I'll catch you soon, man.

1150
00:59:35,280 --> 00:59:38,600
Speaker 3: I'll see you soon. I love you later, Billy, I

1151
00:59:38,680 --> 00:59:38,920
Speaker 3: love you.

1152
00:59:42,080 --> 00:59:49,280
Speaker 2: Goes on. Thank you