1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,840 Speaker 1: Am I the a hole for praising my son differently 2 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:04,880 Speaker 1: than my daughter? And this is all to answer the 3 00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:09,360 Speaker 1: question is favoritism expected between a parent and their child. 4 00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:13,480 Speaker 1: This first story comes from Schattenspringer, and they say, I, 5 00:00:13,760 --> 00:00:17,840 Speaker 1: fifty two male, am the father of three kids, fifteen female, 6 00:00:18,079 --> 00:00:21,280 Speaker 1: seven female, and seven male. The last two are twins 7 00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:23,759 Speaker 1: and are very close, having the tendency to copy each other. 8 00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:26,320 Speaker 1: I love and adore them all equally. 9 00:00:26,079 --> 00:00:26,960 Speaker 2: Except for one. 10 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:30,000 Speaker 1: Except for one. Except for that one, I hate that one, 11 00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:32,400 Speaker 1: the one that's gone. My son is not a very 12 00:00:32,440 --> 00:00:35,159 Speaker 1: masculine kid and is less interested in some of my hobbies. 13 00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:38,760 Speaker 1: Because of this, he has always preferred whatever his mother 14 00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:41,800 Speaker 1: and older sister did, like baking or dancing. I have 15 00:00:41,880 --> 00:00:44,199 Speaker 1: no problem with this. I love him as he is, 16 00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:46,840 Speaker 1: but to be honest, I'm slightly disappointed that we haven't 17 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:50,120 Speaker 1: had the kind of amazing father son bonding that I 18 00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:52,519 Speaker 1: got to have with my grandpa. My dad died when 19 00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:54,840 Speaker 1: I was pretty young. When I was a kid. Since 20 00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:57,720 Speaker 1: I'm home almost all the time now, I've been seeing 21 00:00:57,960 --> 00:01:01,240 Speaker 1: just how feminine his interests of gotten asking to help 22 00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:07,560 Speaker 1: cook every meal. Can't believe cooking so feminine. Gordon Ramsey 23 00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:09,080 Speaker 1: most feminine, dude, I know. 24 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:11,759 Speaker 2: Yeah, Well, I think that a lot of people tend 25 00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:15,320 Speaker 2: to think of cooking in a home as feminine and 26 00:01:15,319 --> 00:01:17,720 Speaker 2: then cooking in a like as a chef. 27 00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:21,920 Speaker 1: And Gordon Ramsey never cooks at home. Well, no, no, 28 00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:24,800 Speaker 1: I know what you're saying. I'm just I'm making fun 29 00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:25,920 Speaker 1: of Ope for being. 30 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:28,199 Speaker 2: No, it's silly, it's sill. I also think I also 31 00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:31,120 Speaker 2: think that Ope, I don't think that you necessarily have 32 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:33,520 Speaker 2: to like, I don't know why he's limiting himself to 33 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:34,759 Speaker 2: these activities to. 34 00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:38,520 Speaker 1: Bond exactly, if like, you maybe get into cooking so 35 00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:40,959 Speaker 1: you can hang out with your your something more like. 36 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:43,520 Speaker 2: I like cooking and dad doesn't like cooking, but we 37 00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:45,000 Speaker 2: bond over a lot of different things. 38 00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:48,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, I feel like a lot of acting stuff. Yeah, 39 00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:51,520 Speaker 1: but asking to help cook every meal, helping his older 40 00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:56,840 Speaker 1: sister alter secondhand clothes, and playing pretend. He's even asked 41 00:01:56,880 --> 00:01:59,880 Speaker 1: to have his sister paint his nails. I'm not upset 42 00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:02,520 Speaker 1: or bothered by it, but it isn't typical for young boys. 43 00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:05,360 Speaker 1: I'm getting the vibe that you are a bit upset. 44 00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:07,160 Speaker 2: But I don't know if it's just me, but I 45 00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:09,440 Speaker 2: think he might be upset or in or bothered by it. 46 00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:11,919 Speaker 1: I feel like he may be both upset and bothered. 47 00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:12,400 Speaker 2: I don't know. 48 00:02:12,639 --> 00:02:16,640 Speaker 1: Is also I love how he's like I can't believe 49 00:02:16,639 --> 00:02:18,760 Speaker 1: my son is helping cook all the time and helping 50 00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:23,239 Speaker 1: his sisters with stuff. What is all this feminine behavior? 51 00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:26,079 Speaker 1: I want a man thing for himself. 52 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:29,400 Speaker 2: My father would never have done this. 53 00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:32,839 Speaker 1: If he was gonna paint his nails, he'd paint him 54 00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:35,840 Speaker 1: black because he was going to a metal concert, bruise 55 00:02:35,919 --> 00:02:39,160 Speaker 1: them because he bruised them. Yeah, the only way my 56 00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:41,480 Speaker 1: grandpa painted his nails is when he shoved them in 57 00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:45,360 Speaker 1: doors intentionally to make him bleed. Well, I've been working 58 00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:47,760 Speaker 1: out at home instead of at the gym because of 59 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:50,440 Speaker 1: our current circumstances, and when my son came in while 60 00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:52,720 Speaker 1: I was lifting weights in the family room, he showed 61 00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:55,240 Speaker 1: an interest in it. He was excited about the idea 62 00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:57,760 Speaker 1: of having big muscles and tried out some of the 63 00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:01,000 Speaker 1: five pound ones, even though he mentioned and being like 64 00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:01,600 Speaker 1: she rah. 65 00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:04,160 Speaker 2: My god, I love Sheira. I totally get. 66 00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:06,160 Speaker 1: Him from some new Netflix reboot. 67 00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:07,240 Speaker 2: She's so buff. 68 00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:08,400 Speaker 1: I haven't seen Sheira. 69 00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:12,200 Speaker 2: Okay, Well, there's a new Netflix reboot of Sheira and Adra, 70 00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:14,320 Speaker 2: who is Eira is. 71 00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:18,440 Speaker 1: Like super buff, Lady Buff. It was still progress in 72 00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:21,160 Speaker 1: my eyes, and it seemed like he was showing interest 73 00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:24,680 Speaker 1: in masculine hobbies. I praised him and did the whole wow, 74 00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:27,720 Speaker 1: you're so strong thing in kid talk to encourage him. 75 00:03:27,720 --> 00:03:31,520 Speaker 1: When his sisters walked in, the twin seven female joined in. 76 00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:33,880 Speaker 1: Like I said, they have a tendency to want to 77 00:03:33,919 --> 00:03:37,080 Speaker 1: do what the other is doing, so she expected the 78 00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:39,880 Speaker 1: same kind of wow, so strong stuff. When I wasn't 79 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:43,160 Speaker 1: as enthusiastic with her and focused on my son, my 80 00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:46,240 Speaker 1: oldest got annoyed and asked why I was treating them differently. 81 00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:48,760 Speaker 1: I explained to her that because he hadn't taken an 82 00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:51,600 Speaker 1: interest in these kind of masculine hobbies before, I wanted 83 00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:55,200 Speaker 1: to foster his own identity as a boy, separate from 84 00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:58,760 Speaker 1: his twin sister. She accused me of being misogynistic for 85 00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:00,200 Speaker 1: this exclamation point. 86 00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:03,400 Speaker 2: He's like, what's bizarreg newstick about? 87 00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:04,000 Speaker 3: Yeah? 88 00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:07,560 Speaker 1: I just think boys should do boy things and girls 89 00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:08,840 Speaker 1: should do girl things. 90 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:12,000 Speaker 2: And the second I noticed my boy wanted to do 91 00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:14,320 Speaker 2: boy things, I capitalized on that. 92 00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:16,920 Speaker 1: I'm gonna make sure he does only bore things for 93 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:21,200 Speaker 1: now all under my roof really quick. I feel like 94 00:04:21,279 --> 00:04:25,760 Speaker 1: there is a misguided point in like wanting each of 95 00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:29,239 Speaker 1: your kids to have their own things so they don't 96 00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:33,240 Speaker 1: feel like they're in someone else's shadow. But I don't 97 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:35,640 Speaker 1: feel like this is doing that. 98 00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:40,160 Speaker 2: Yes, yes, I think that there is a benefit in 99 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:42,440 Speaker 2: exploring different like yeah, what kind of what you said, 100 00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:45,120 Speaker 2: exploring different things with different kids that you have like 101 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:48,640 Speaker 2: a different relationship with them, But gendering that is not necessary. 102 00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:51,359 Speaker 1: Yeah, it should just be like Mike, this kid is 103 00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:54,120 Speaker 1: into horses. Yeah, let's worse things. 104 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:55,640 Speaker 2: This kid is into soccer. 105 00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:57,599 Speaker 1: I think it's okay for them to be in the 106 00:04:57,839 --> 00:04:58,880 Speaker 1: into the same thing anyway. 107 00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:00,480 Speaker 2: Also, yeah, I mean they're twins, so. 108 00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:02,920 Speaker 1: Obviously they're gonna want to do similar stuff, and they 109 00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:04,360 Speaker 1: probably like doing that stuff together. 110 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:07,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean yeah, they usually. I feel like a 111 00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:08,920 Speaker 2: lot of parents like push doing a lot of stuff. 112 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:11,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, they even dress them the same way, which I 113 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:13,120 Speaker 1: feel like, I don't know, I don't know about that. 114 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:15,520 Speaker 1: I can like maybe he once a year for family photos. 115 00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:18,400 Speaker 2: I don't know why if you were a parent or 116 00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:20,000 Speaker 2: a twin that's been dressed the same. 117 00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:20,960 Speaker 1: Why that's cute? 118 00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:23,240 Speaker 2: Obviously no, but like, yeah, okay, okay. 119 00:05:23,279 --> 00:05:25,920 Speaker 1: Well, she then said that I was the a hole 120 00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:28,800 Speaker 1: for making his sister feel weaker in implying that I 121 00:05:28,839 --> 00:05:31,359 Speaker 1: don't approve of his feminine interests. I don't think of 122 00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:34,640 Speaker 1: the a hole because there's no reason for my daughter 123 00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:36,680 Speaker 1: to be inclined towards this kind of thing. But my 124 00:05:36,839 --> 00:05:40,000 Speaker 1: son should be developing a more masculine personality as he 125 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:42,719 Speaker 1: gets older. When she told my wife forty one female, 126 00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:45,400 Speaker 1: she also blew up at me, saying I was acting 127 00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:49,839 Speaker 1: like a cartoon misogynist. Both of them are pissed. So Reddit, 128 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:53,640 Speaker 1: am I the A hole? And there are some notable 129 00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:55,960 Speaker 1: comments and some updates. But what do we think is 130 00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:56,719 Speaker 1: OP the A hole? 131 00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:57,520 Speaker 2: Yeah? 132 00:05:57,600 --> 00:05:58,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean like. 133 00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:01,320 Speaker 2: I think it really does understand he. 134 00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:04,480 Speaker 1: Really like that is what is I think a there's 135 00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:08,039 Speaker 1: opportunity for learning? Yes, yes, I think because I think 136 00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:11,120 Speaker 1: he is totally like he's blatantly unaware. 137 00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:13,640 Speaker 2: He's like, what do you mean? This is this? He's 138 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:15,320 Speaker 2: just gonna be supposed to be more masculine. 139 00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:17,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, boy should be boys, girls should be girls. Boys 140 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:19,760 Speaker 1: shouldn't be into like clothes and. 141 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:22,360 Speaker 2: Yeah that's just the way it's supposed to happen. 142 00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:25,919 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think there is a potential for growth OP 143 00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:31,360 Speaker 1: to have a wider perspective on like, oh, like interest 144 00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:34,520 Speaker 1: don't have to be gendered. If my boy ends up 145 00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:37,760 Speaker 1: becoming more and more interested in cooking as he gets older, 146 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:41,240 Speaker 1: that is completely fine and maybe should should be encouraged. 147 00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:44,080 Speaker 2: Yeah. I think OP is the A hole right now, 148 00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:48,360 Speaker 2: but I think that his continued ad hole re depends 149 00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:49,160 Speaker 2: on how he has. 150 00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:53,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, he's not like irredeemable a hole quite exactly. And 151 00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:55,400 Speaker 1: and the fact that he's even asking, like am I 152 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:58,120 Speaker 1: the A hole? He's I think he's actually he's actually 153 00:06:58,120 --> 00:07:00,560 Speaker 1: trying to figure this out. I think the comments are 154 00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:04,360 Speaker 1: going to be like the the hole And here's why. 155 00:07:04,680 --> 00:07:07,600 Speaker 1: Here's maybe some context of like how I grew up. 156 00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:10,960 Speaker 1: And I think what we I hope we get is like, hey, 157 00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:13,720 Speaker 1: I had a dad that was like you, that focus 158 00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:16,640 Speaker 1: that forced me into masculine hobbies, and it actually really 159 00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:19,520 Speaker 1: hurt our relationship. If he had just done this, like 160 00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:22,560 Speaker 1: you know, as Tyler says, taken the gender out of 161 00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:25,720 Speaker 1: it and just supported me as a person instead of 162 00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:29,200 Speaker 1: as an object that's supposed to represent some kind of gender, 163 00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:31,840 Speaker 1: maybe I would I would have a closer relationship with 164 00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:32,760 Speaker 1: him than I do. 165 00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:35,040 Speaker 2: I agreed. I mean again, I said this before. Just 166 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:37,240 Speaker 2: Sam and I have very deep bonds with our dad 167 00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:40,120 Speaker 2: for different like in different areas. 168 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:42,400 Speaker 1: And also it's like, does he have a deep bond 169 00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:45,240 Speaker 1: with his the girls? 170 00:07:45,480 --> 00:07:48,200 Speaker 2: That's also true? Is he focusing on his bond with 171 00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:51,120 Speaker 2: his son and prioritizing that over his girls? 172 00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:54,080 Speaker 1: Like I'm wondering because he's like, oh, I haven't had 173 00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:57,760 Speaker 1: the chance to develop any of like my masculine hobbies 174 00:07:57,800 --> 00:07:59,040 Speaker 1: with a child. 175 00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:02,800 Speaker 2: So I'm wondering does he have any feminine hobbies that 176 00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:03,560 Speaker 2: he would like? 177 00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:05,760 Speaker 1: Does he spend time with his daughters? 178 00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:08,520 Speaker 2: Yeah? I don't know because it seems right now we 179 00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:11,520 Speaker 2: had an instance where both of his kids, his daughter 180 00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:13,440 Speaker 2: and his son, came forward and we're like, we have 181 00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:16,680 Speaker 2: an interest, and he prioritized his son over I. 182 00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:19,640 Speaker 1: See one comment that says not the A hole. I 183 00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:23,520 Speaker 1: would love to see if there's some silence of people 184 00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:26,040 Speaker 1: saying not the A hole at all. So maybe we 185 00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:28,360 Speaker 1: put up a poll. Sure, I feel like it's probably 186 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:30,240 Speaker 1: going to be mostly a hole, But I think is 187 00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:32,080 Speaker 1: OP the A hole? Yes or no? Let's see. But 188 00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:35,400 Speaker 1: we do have a relevant comment that I'm going to 189 00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:40,160 Speaker 1: read right now, so notable comments. I'm slightly disappointed that 190 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:42,920 Speaker 1: we haven't had the kind of amazing father son bonding 191 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:44,840 Speaker 1: that I got to have with my grandpa. So this 192 00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:49,440 Speaker 1: is a commenter responding to OP. Commenter response, that's on you, Op. 193 00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:52,360 Speaker 1: You meet your kids where they are. I think that's 194 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:54,240 Speaker 1: a great quote. It's almost like your kids are each 195 00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:56,960 Speaker 1: individual people with their own likes and dislikes. Wow. 196 00:08:57,040 --> 00:08:57,439 Speaker 2: Crazy. 197 00:08:57,559 --> 00:09:01,240 Speaker 1: You build close relationships with love, compassion, and understanding. You 198 00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:03,679 Speaker 1: are never going to get the closeness you want with 199 00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:06,720 Speaker 1: your children until you accept and love them for who 200 00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:09,400 Speaker 1: they are. If you keep wanting them to be different 201 00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:11,760 Speaker 1: so that you can accept them, you will truly miss out. 202 00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:14,960 Speaker 1: Your kids are amazing, unique and beautiful human beings. Love 203 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:18,160 Speaker 1: them as they are. Stop with the expectations, and give 204 00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:21,760 Speaker 1: them unconditional love. This isn't about them, It's about you 205 00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:25,560 Speaker 1: and your preconceived notions of who they should be. This 206 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:29,520 Speaker 1: would get you nowhere, and that comes from I choose you, Storlax. 207 00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:32,880 Speaker 1: There's some more relevant comments, but I love that. That's 208 00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:34,080 Speaker 1: a beautiful comment. 209 00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:36,920 Speaker 2: I thought that was really well put and I appreciate 210 00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:39,720 Speaker 2: that it wasn't the same kind of attacking that we 211 00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:40,680 Speaker 2: see on Reddit a lot. 212 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:44,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, And I think that's like, that's the best 213 00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:49,200 Speaker 1: kind of feedback to give, Like Dixie Blue Steele says, disease, 214 00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:50,760 Speaker 1: this is my dad is just a jerk. But like 215 00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:53,199 Speaker 1: if we were to just say, oh, pe, you're a jerk. 216 00:09:53,320 --> 00:09:56,360 Speaker 1: How dare you? You're terrible? There's nothing really to do there, 217 00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:58,680 Speaker 1: you know, like except like, oh, I guess I'm a jerk, 218 00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:01,480 Speaker 1: But it's not really informing someone how to change in. 219 00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:03,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, which isn't to say that. I think he absolutely 220 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:05,600 Speaker 2: is the a hole and he's a jerk in this moment, 221 00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:07,640 Speaker 2: but right now he's asking why. 222 00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:08,640 Speaker 1: Why Yeah am I jerk? 223 00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:09,080 Speaker 2: Am I? 224 00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:11,440 Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah? And like and I think we say, yes, 225 00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:13,319 Speaker 1: you're the a hole and a jerk, and this is 226 00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:15,120 Speaker 1: how you change. And I think that's what that comment does. 227 00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:18,400 Speaker 1: Really well oh no, oh, not an expert says you're 228 00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:21,079 Speaker 1: the a hole. My initial reaction was, no, you just 229 00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:23,760 Speaker 1: got excited you found a common interest with your son. 230 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,400 Speaker 1: But then you get to the last few lines of 231 00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:29,240 Speaker 1: the posts quote, because there's no reason for my daughter 232 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:31,080 Speaker 1: to be inclined towards this kind of thing. But my 233 00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:34,280 Speaker 1: son should be developing a more masculine personality as he 234 00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:37,240 Speaker 1: gets older. The fact that she has no reason quote 235 00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:39,680 Speaker 1: for an interest in lifting, and that you think your 236 00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:42,920 Speaker 1: son needs to have a more masculine identity is misogynistic 237 00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:46,559 Speaker 1: and a little toxic. Plenty of professional chefs and designers 238 00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:50,440 Speaker 1: are men. Your overall perception is the problem. And then 239 00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:54,240 Speaker 1: deleted user Okay, here we have some not the A holes, 240 00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:57,560 Speaker 1: which I am curious. So right now, looking at her poll, 241 00:10:57,559 --> 00:10:59,840 Speaker 1: maybe we can end it. Right now. Ninety five percent 242 00:10:59,840 --> 00:11:03,240 Speaker 1: of you are saying, oh, p is the A hole? 243 00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:06,959 Speaker 1: Five percent or four percent of you are saying no, 244 00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:10,560 Speaker 1: which is I believe maybe like two people, but deleted 245 00:11:10,679 --> 00:11:13,240 Speaker 1: user says, f it not the A whole. I completely 246 00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:15,760 Speaker 1: understand you as a father wanting your son to be 247 00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:19,880 Speaker 1: into stereotypical masculine hobbies. It strengthens your relationship with him 248 00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:22,960 Speaker 1: because you're into those things and will help him have 249 00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:25,959 Speaker 1: a better relationship with other boys. But there's no reason 250 00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:28,520 Speaker 1: not to show your daughter to the same enthusiasm. So 251 00:11:28,679 --> 00:11:34,360 Speaker 1: that's my point of advice to you. I think I understand, 252 00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:37,240 Speaker 1: like I wish he was into the things I'm into. 253 00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:39,840 Speaker 1: I think I understand that, but I don't need to gender. 254 00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:43,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the thing. His daughter's coming to him and 255 00:11:43,679 --> 00:11:46,920 Speaker 2: is into those things exactly, exactly should be excited that 256 00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:49,280 Speaker 2: you get to share what you enjoy with one of 257 00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:49,840 Speaker 2: your kids. 258 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:53,199 Speaker 1: I think that is when we know it's about misogyny 259 00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:54,880 Speaker 1: and not that he's just like, oh, I wish they 260 00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:56,720 Speaker 1: were into the same things that I'm into, so I 261 00:11:56,720 --> 00:11:59,040 Speaker 1: could share this with them. It's more like, no, no, no, 262 00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:01,120 Speaker 1: I only want my son to be in the same 263 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:03,800 Speaker 1: masculine hobbies I have, not my daughter. 264 00:12:04,160 --> 00:12:04,520 Speaker 2: Yeah. 265 00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:07,040 Speaker 1: Another person says, not the ahole. Obviously you should support 266 00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:09,439 Speaker 1: your daughters as well, But there's nothing wrong with creating 267 00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:13,960 Speaker 1: some space to bond with your son manned man as well. 268 00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:17,600 Speaker 1: I think there's nothing wrong with like, let's say you're 269 00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:20,760 Speaker 1: into camping, or you're into motorcycles or I don't know, 270 00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:24,959 Speaker 1: rowing darts man stuff, I guess, or what people think 271 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:28,320 Speaker 1: of like stereotypical man stuff. You could introduce your son 272 00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:30,760 Speaker 1: to those and be like, hey, if you want to 273 00:12:30,760 --> 00:12:33,440 Speaker 1: do this with me sick like have fun, you could, 274 00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:36,000 Speaker 1: and as you should introduce your daughters to that stuff too. 275 00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:38,000 Speaker 2: That's well, yeah, I think that's where I would be. 276 00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:40,800 Speaker 2: I think if you introduce all of your kids, you know, 277 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:42,880 Speaker 2: you take them all on a camping trip, and two 278 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:45,720 Speaker 2: one out of three is like, I'm on board and 279 00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:47,560 Speaker 2: the other two hate it, that's when you can start 280 00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:49,000 Speaker 2: spending time camping with that one. 281 00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:51,360 Speaker 1: You know, yeah, exactly, Like take them all camping. If 282 00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:53,240 Speaker 1: one kid is like, I love camping, the other two 283 00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:54,959 Speaker 1: are like, I hate it, they keep taking the kid 284 00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:58,920 Speaker 1: that loves camping too. I think as parents, you introduce 285 00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:02,040 Speaker 1: your kids to the wide possibilities of things to do 286 00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:04,960 Speaker 1: in this world, and then when they say I like this, 287 00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:06,959 Speaker 1: you encourage them towards that. 288 00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:10,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree. You are to act like high school 289 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:16,240 Speaker 2: acts for a prospective college student, Like you're giving them 290 00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:18,920 Speaker 2: all of this array of classes and options to choose 291 00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:22,280 Speaker 2: for as they enter college or they like decide what 292 00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:24,640 Speaker 2: they want to go to for college, and they have 293 00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:26,840 Speaker 2: all these options. You know, this doesn't really make sense. 294 00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:30,880 Speaker 1: I agree. It's like I think you explain what I said. 295 00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:33,480 Speaker 1: I think as a parent, you should cult in the 296 00:13:33,559 --> 00:13:39,080 Speaker 1: same way when in high school, you know, a teacher 297 00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:41,800 Speaker 1: will look at an interest like like, for example, in 298 00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:46,600 Speaker 1: high school, for me, my teachers would be like, oh, Sam, 299 00:13:46,679 --> 00:13:49,400 Speaker 1: likes to make videos. Instead of doing an essay, you 300 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:52,720 Speaker 1: can make a video. And they were cultivating my interest 301 00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:56,120 Speaker 1: in videos while also making sure I was educated about 302 00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:59,280 Speaker 1: the topic. Right, So I think in the same way parents, 303 00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:01,319 Speaker 1: good parents do this, and this is what my parents 304 00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:03,240 Speaker 1: did too, Like, yeah, they knew I was interested in 305 00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:04,880 Speaker 1: videos when I was like twelve, and so they got 306 00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:07,160 Speaker 1: me like a little flip video camera. They got me 307 00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:12,280 Speaker 1: editing editing software. It's like, all right, let's keep feeding 308 00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:15,680 Speaker 1: this interest and allow your child to explore it more 309 00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:16,840 Speaker 1: when they show signs of it. 310 00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:19,560 Speaker 2: And also on the opposite I mean they also did 311 00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:21,360 Speaker 2: that for me with acting. But on the opposite end, 312 00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:25,080 Speaker 2: Sam and I were both pushed into a variety of 313 00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:27,560 Speaker 2: different sports, and so. 314 00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:29,920 Speaker 1: Sophia was equally like Sophia was pushing swimming. 315 00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:35,040 Speaker 2: I would try to get out of the pool. I 316 00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:37,240 Speaker 2: hated it, but I was put in the same sports 317 00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:38,840 Speaker 2: as Sam, and then I was put I mean, I 318 00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:41,920 Speaker 2: was switched to like seven different sports until I found 319 00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:44,640 Speaker 2: the one I liked, and I ended up really loving ballet. 320 00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:48,600 Speaker 2: Not because you know, I, as a girl should do ballet, 321 00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:52,280 Speaker 2: but because I just I found it much more. I 322 00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:54,000 Speaker 2: don't know, I just I think I found it more 323 00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:57,200 Speaker 2: fulfilling than I had found other sports that I had tried. 324 00:14:57,400 --> 00:14:59,240 Speaker 1: Agreed, Agreed, but yeah. 325 00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:00,840 Speaker 2: But I think on the opposite. And if Sam had, 326 00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:03,600 Speaker 2: you know, really I sent you started with like gymnastics, 327 00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:06,800 Speaker 2: if you had really loved gymnastics, Okay, I swim. 328 00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:11,520 Speaker 1: Kid love gymnastics. Gymnastics, I don't, I don't remember. I 329 00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:14,800 Speaker 1: honestly wish I did gymnastics instead of swimming because I 330 00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:17,720 Speaker 1: could have, like, done so many cool flips. Anyway, let's 331 00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:22,080 Speaker 1: get in to the update May twenty five hours later. 332 00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:25,560 Speaker 1: Who added under the fill posting five hours later, so 333 00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:29,520 Speaker 1: hey everyone, I was one hundred percent the A hole. 334 00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:31,800 Speaker 2: He figured that out so quickly. 335 00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:32,760 Speaker 1: Good for him. 336 00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:36,000 Speaker 2: I like, that's great, this is amazing. He wrote a 337 00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:39,040 Speaker 2: Reddit post, got tons of people saying you're the A hole. 338 00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:41,120 Speaker 2: Five hours later he's like, you know what, I am 339 00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:41,760 Speaker 2: the A hole. 340 00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:45,720 Speaker 1: Let's go that's what we want growth, baby. I appreciate 341 00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:48,680 Speaker 1: that some people tried to empathize and say not the 342 00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:51,720 Speaker 1: A hole or no a holes here to be charitable, 343 00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:54,400 Speaker 1: But I'm the wrong here, and I knew it deep 344 00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:57,160 Speaker 1: down while I was writing the post. Rereading it, I 345 00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:59,080 Speaker 1: feel ridiculous for writing that all out. I want to 346 00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:02,880 Speaker 1: say thank you, because these comments were the objective kick 347 00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:05,960 Speaker 1: in the body I really needed. I realize now that 348 00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:08,240 Speaker 1: I was really out of line for saying that stuff 349 00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:10,680 Speaker 1: and making my daughters feel that way. I set up 350 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:14,000 Speaker 1: a stupid false dichotomy, and my daughter was very right. 351 00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:16,640 Speaker 1: I was being a misogynist. No excuse for that. I 352 00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:19,080 Speaker 1: apologize to both of them and my wife an hour 353 00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:21,280 Speaker 1: after I posted. I also shared this post with my 354 00:16:21,320 --> 00:16:23,760 Speaker 1: little brother, who, as I mentioned in a comment, was 355 00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:27,040 Speaker 1: teased for being feminine as a kid slash teen, especially 356 00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:29,480 Speaker 1: after he came out. I think some people took me 357 00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:33,080 Speaker 1: mentioning that as blaming him, which wasn't my intention at all. 358 00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:36,560 Speaker 1: None of my behavior is his or anybody else's faults. 359 00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:39,120 Speaker 1: We talked for a while, and that, along with many 360 00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:41,440 Speaker 1: of the comments you guys left, made me aware of 361 00:16:41,520 --> 00:16:44,080 Speaker 1: how badly I'm treating my son. My grandpa, who raised 362 00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:46,120 Speaker 1: my brother and I for most of our lives, was 363 00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:50,040 Speaker 1: a manly guy who I've always idolized. Completely well. My 364 00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:53,040 Speaker 1: brother made me aware that my grandpa in particular made 365 00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:57,280 Speaker 1: him feel crappy about his femininity and sexual orientation. He 366 00:16:57,320 --> 00:17:01,240 Speaker 1: would regularly say degrading, terrible things. I was oblivious to 367 00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:03,480 Speaker 1: just how much that hurt him. And it seems that 368 00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:06,360 Speaker 1: I've picked up some of these same ideas. I've been 369 00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:09,959 Speaker 1: such a for so long, and now that I realize 370 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:13,280 Speaker 1: how absurd some of these ideas are that I've held 371 00:17:13,320 --> 00:17:16,320 Speaker 1: on too, I know how much of a disservice I've 372 00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:18,320 Speaker 1: done to my boy. I shouldn't try to make him 373 00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:21,240 Speaker 1: change just to protect him from bullies in this situation. 374 00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:24,800 Speaker 1: I'm the bully, as much as it hurts to think. Also, 375 00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:27,680 Speaker 1: there we read a story a little bit ago where 376 00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:30,440 Speaker 1: a whole friend group was like mostly gay, and we're 377 00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:34,480 Speaker 1: kind of bullying, oh, he for being straight, and like, 378 00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:37,080 Speaker 1: this kind of sounds weird to say, but I think 379 00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:39,840 Speaker 1: in at least certain like liberal cities, you can be 380 00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:43,640 Speaker 1: bullied more for being straight than gay, which sounds kind 381 00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:44,040 Speaker 1: of whack. 382 00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:47,480 Speaker 2: I don't know about liberal cities, maybe liberal circles. 383 00:17:47,119 --> 00:17:50,520 Speaker 1: Liberal circles and like like, like at least in that example, 384 00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:52,480 Speaker 1: So it's like, I actually don't think you're gonna have 385 00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:55,840 Speaker 1: to protect I think a person fully embodying their identity 386 00:17:56,160 --> 00:18:00,440 Speaker 1: is more accepted than ever before. Yeah, So I don't 387 00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:00,920 Speaker 1: think like. 388 00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:03,120 Speaker 2: Well, definitely than ever before. Yeah. 389 00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:05,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, so I don't think OHP has to worry about that. 390 00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:09,560 Speaker 2: Yeah. No, I think that that is a common fear 391 00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:13,880 Speaker 2: for not not homophobic parents, but parents who are who 392 00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:17,399 Speaker 2: like weren't necessarily raised that way of like acceptance, and 393 00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:21,160 Speaker 2: are coming into it and are learning about accepting, accepting 394 00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:24,440 Speaker 2: the queer communities and stuff through their kids. I think 395 00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:26,000 Speaker 2: it's like the fear of oh, are they going to 396 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:27,399 Speaker 2: be happy? Are they going to be able to live 397 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:30,439 Speaker 2: a good life? And I think it's like, yeah, I 398 00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:33,439 Speaker 2: think I mean this is like, as you said, like 399 00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:36,840 Speaker 2: now more than ever, the gays are thriving, and obviously, 400 00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:39,320 Speaker 2: I mean there are still hor you know, there's still 401 00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:41,840 Speaker 2: things out there that the queer community is having to 402 00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:42,199 Speaker 2: deal with. 403 00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:46,120 Speaker 1: Of course, like well it's kind of not for trans folks. 404 00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:49,840 Speaker 2: No, absolutely, Yeah. But I think that this fear from 405 00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:53,560 Speaker 2: parents who as I as I said, this fear of 406 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:56,280 Speaker 2: parents who are just like starting to accept you know, 407 00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:59,600 Speaker 2: being introduced to this queer community through their kids. I 408 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:04,680 Speaker 2: think that fear is not should not override like their kids. 409 00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:07,840 Speaker 1: Embodying their identity. Yeah, exactly, Like I think as a parent, 410 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:10,760 Speaker 1: what you should do is you should support your child 411 00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:14,440 Speaker 1: in the expression of their identity as much as you can. 412 00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:16,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess. Yeah. My point is, I think if 413 00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:19,879 Speaker 2: you had a trans child, it would be not good 414 00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:22,080 Speaker 2: for you to say, oh I do who you are, 415 00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:24,960 Speaker 2: because you might get attacked. It should be you supporting. 416 00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:26,840 Speaker 1: Them, yeah, and also like showing them how they can 417 00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:28,400 Speaker 1: be themselves safely too. Yeah. 418 00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:31,920 Speaker 2: Absolutely, and being there as an ally to make sure 419 00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:32,760 Speaker 2: they don't get attacked. 420 00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:35,560 Speaker 1: And also, you know, we realize that not everywhere is 421 00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:38,199 Speaker 1: the US, and not everywhere is like a place like 422 00:19:38,359 --> 00:19:41,040 Speaker 1: LA and so there there is some ways that you like, 423 00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:41,600 Speaker 1: you know. 424 00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:45,680 Speaker 2: You cannot safely be out. Yeah, but being a person, 425 00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:48,240 Speaker 2: like when you are an ally being a person that 426 00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:52,159 Speaker 2: is a safe space for your queer friends and family. 427 00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:54,840 Speaker 1: And Sophia account says, but he could be straight and 428 00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:55,639 Speaker 1: like girly things. 429 00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:58,040 Speaker 2: This is about being he has another sense. So he 430 00:19:58,080 --> 00:20:00,160 Speaker 2: has two sons, one of which is gay. 431 00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:04,240 Speaker 1: Yes, uh, I thought he said he said the brother. 432 00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:11,960 Speaker 1: Oh sorry, not not his, not his got like his 433 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:16,080 Speaker 1: son's seven. I feel like, you know, stamping him with sexual. 434 00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:18,440 Speaker 2: Is Maybe I thought he was saying that his is 435 00:20:18,560 --> 00:20:21,040 Speaker 2: the older son. But I guess that it's an older daughter. 436 00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:24,959 Speaker 1: But getting in to these fine. Oh there is another 437 00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:28,600 Speaker 1: another juicy update after this, but I'm planning on talking 438 00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:31,600 Speaker 1: with him about this issue and apologizing if we can 439 00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:33,720 Speaker 1: this week. I want to let him choose something that 440 00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:35,960 Speaker 1: he likes that we can do together. I'm not going 441 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,480 Speaker 1: to make the same mistakes my grandpa did at my brothers, 442 00:20:38,560 --> 00:20:42,080 Speaker 1: and some writers suggestions, I'm considering trying out therapy or 443 00:20:42,119 --> 00:20:44,679 Speaker 1: support group after a mistake, huge f up like this, 444 00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:46,600 Speaker 1: I think I ought to try to be the best 445 00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:49,360 Speaker 1: dad and big brother I can be, and to stop 446 00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:52,480 Speaker 1: thinking this way, especially when I've already done so much damage. 447 00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:54,640 Speaker 1: I'm sorry about the extremely long edit, but thank you 448 00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:56,800 Speaker 1: for all of your responses and helping me with this issue. 449 00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:58,199 Speaker 1: I showed my wife some of the comments and she 450 00:20:58,320 --> 00:21:01,640 Speaker 1: also thanks you all. And there are some notable comments 451 00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:05,720 Speaker 1: and another update. So notable comment, I'm impressed as hell 452 00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:08,120 Speaker 1: that you are self aware enough to know when you've 453 00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:10,960 Speaker 1: fed up and are working on self improvement. You, myn 454 00:21:11,119 --> 00:21:14,159 Speaker 1: on internet friend, have restored my faith in humanity. And 455 00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:17,160 Speaker 1: then another commenter, ash Jess, says, on the off chance 456 00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:19,800 Speaker 1: you see this, I know you're swarmed. Well just know 457 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:22,480 Speaker 1: I think you have matured so well. Everyone needs a 458 00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:24,960 Speaker 1: chance to grow, even in their middle ages. That's the 459 00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:27,000 Speaker 1: fun of it. And for your son who might like 460 00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:29,800 Speaker 1: fixing up old clothes, maybe look into going into a 461 00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:31,960 Speaker 1: sewing class at a craft store in your area. They're 462 00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:35,080 Speaker 1: super fun and informative. Just make sure he's old enough 463 00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:38,480 Speaker 1: for them. Congratland having a super talented dude. That's what's 464 00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:39,880 Speaker 1: really cool. It's like, you gotta have a kid that's 465 00:21:40,119 --> 00:21:42,240 Speaker 1: interested in stuff that's totally different than you, and then 466 00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:44,520 Speaker 1: you can get into that, get them and explore that 467 00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:48,359 Speaker 1: with them, like equally. Like my dad, I got into surfing. 468 00:21:48,359 --> 00:21:49,960 Speaker 1: My dad didn't really know how to surf that much, 469 00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:51,640 Speaker 1: but he started going surfing with me because he wanted 470 00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:55,720 Speaker 1: to support that. But we have the final updates, so 471 00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:59,320 Speaker 1: fifteen hours later, this will probably be the final update. 472 00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:02,680 Speaker 1: But while I'm overwhelmed with all the responses, I wasn't 473 00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:05,480 Speaker 1: expecting so many. Thank you to everyone. I'm glad you 474 00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:08,320 Speaker 1: guys were honest but still encouraging. I'm sorry I haven't 475 00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:09,919 Speaker 1: been able to reply to you all. I got a 476 00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:12,480 Speaker 1: lot of really kind and personal messages, and I want 477 00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:14,399 Speaker 1: you guys to know I've taken it to heart. Some 478 00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:16,480 Speaker 1: people asked what I'm going to do with my daughter, 479 00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:18,560 Speaker 1: since it seems like I focus more on my son 480 00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:21,480 Speaker 1: in the edit. My oldest wants to try krap magath. Yes, 481 00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:23,159 Speaker 1: so in the coming weeks for hoping to find a 482 00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:25,880 Speaker 1: place that I'll accommodate both ages. Youngest daughter has wanted 483 00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:27,639 Speaker 1: to learn how to roller skate too, so my fifteen 484 00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:29,439 Speaker 1: year old may have to teach us both. I was 485 00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:31,480 Speaker 1: able to talk to my son for a while this morning, 486 00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:34,240 Speaker 1: and apologizing for yesterday talking about gender roles and the 487 00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:37,040 Speaker 1: trauma surrounding my grandpa. Maybe something I'll talk to him 488 00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:39,439 Speaker 1: more about as he gets older. But I got the 489 00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:42,560 Speaker 1: message across that I support him whatever he's interested in. 490 00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:45,199 Speaker 1: I asked him about Sira. Some commenters told me that 491 00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:48,320 Speaker 1: it's fun for adults too. Hey, watch a few episodes together. 492 00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:50,760 Speaker 1: You guys were right. My oldest and I both thought 493 00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:52,760 Speaker 1: it was very cute. I asked him what he would 494 00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:55,560 Speaker 1: want to do together, and he mentioned trying to alter something. 495 00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:57,360 Speaker 1: I brought down a box of my old stuff from 496 00:22:57,359 --> 00:22:59,119 Speaker 1: the attic, and lo and behold, I found one of 497 00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:02,520 Speaker 1: my eighties Hawaiian shirts my grandpa bought me, probably an 498 00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:05,080 Speaker 1: effort to make him look like Tom Selleck. With some 499 00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:07,080 Speaker 1: guidance from my oldest, We're going to try to make 500 00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:10,040 Speaker 1: it fit my son with room for him to grow 501 00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:12,800 Speaker 1: into it. I think it'll turn out nicely, and because 502 00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:16,120 Speaker 1: it's really vintage, my fifteen year old loves it. So 503 00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:18,639 Speaker 1: everything is pretty good right now. I invited my brother 504 00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:21,119 Speaker 1: over he lives a few hours away, for dinner so 505 00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:23,879 Speaker 1: my son and I can make him something. I can't 506 00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:27,280 Speaker 1: believe that I was feeling upset about him liking baking 507 00:23:27,359 --> 00:23:31,200 Speaker 1: and everything. I'm lucky that my boy wants to help everyone. 508 00:23:31,280 --> 00:23:34,840 Speaker 1: So I'm definitely the A hole, but I'm slowly becoming 509 00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:38,399 Speaker 1: not the a hole. Yes, thank you all. I showed 510 00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:41,920 Speaker 1: my oldest some of my favorite comments and she thinks 511 00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:44,080 Speaker 1: they're great and I should expect a Clown of the 512 00:23:44,119 --> 00:23:48,320 Speaker 1: Year award for a Father's Day gift. Haha, And that 513 00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:50,520 Speaker 1: is where that story ends. 514 00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:51,720 Speaker 2: So positive. 515 00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:54,879 Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like what I love about this is 516 00:23:54,920 --> 00:23:57,159 Speaker 1: it's just like this is exactly what we want. We 517 00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:59,640 Speaker 1: want someone coming in being an a hole and then 518 00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:04,160 Speaker 1: coming out not. We are a whole converters to not behbles. 519 00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:07,960 Speaker 1: Gabil Aja says this was a cute story in terms 520 00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:14,119 Speaker 1: of growth, really cute, darn Tutin Vladimir Putin. I just 521 00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:17,720 Speaker 1: I like saying it, or like that's the right tomb 522 00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:22,679 Speaker 1: Kim John Oune A whole converter sounds like a corn 523 00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:26,440 Speaker 1: title without kiddies. So getting back to it, is favoritism 524 00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:29,560 Speaker 1: expected between a parent and their children. 525 00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:32,000 Speaker 2: What are your thoughts in this in this story? 526 00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:35,879 Speaker 1: I think in this story we kind of learned that no, 527 00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:39,760 Speaker 1: I mean, I should actively if there is favoritism, you 528 00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:42,000 Speaker 1: should actively move against it. 529 00:24:42,119 --> 00:24:44,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think I think it's a common thing 530 00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:46,159 Speaker 2: that I mean, from the story, we learned that a 531 00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:50,359 Speaker 2: lot of parents like this dad will place emphasises on 532 00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:54,359 Speaker 2: like gender roles and exploring gendered activities with their kids. 533 00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:56,560 Speaker 2: And I think that, Yeah, what we learn is that 534 00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:58,840 Speaker 2: you gotta just take your kids for who they are 535 00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:01,919 Speaker 2: and find different things that interest all of them that 536 00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:04,040 Speaker 2: you can enjoy doing with them. 537 00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:07,680 Speaker 1: Completely agree, Completely agree. This is an episode from Deep 538 00:25:07,680 --> 00:25:14,080 Speaker 1: within the Archives. Time for okop re Lam. My husband's 539 00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:17,639 Speaker 1: ex died and he wants to attend her funeral. Not 540 00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:21,840 Speaker 1: on my watch. He's in for surprise, you know, give 541 00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:25,800 Speaker 1: him a break, no breaks, no breaks. Can we can 542 00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:28,240 Speaker 1: we can. We can have one break, no break. One 543 00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:32,320 Speaker 1: break on the show says period, what if she comes 544 00:25:32,359 --> 00:25:35,080 Speaker 1: back from the dead as a ghost and he falls 545 00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:37,320 Speaker 1: in love with her. I'll admit I'm biased right off 546 00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:42,080 Speaker 1: the bat. I couldn't freaking stand her. Oh I call 547 00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:45,480 Speaker 1: her his ex to myself and others. He called her 548 00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:54,800 Speaker 1: his friend, So what that's funny. We're in our early forties. 549 00:25:54,960 --> 00:26:00,760 Speaker 1: She died recently aneurysm. I've been with him for ten 550 00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:03,879 Speaker 1: years now, but he'd known her for twenty plus. The 551 00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:06,640 Speaker 1: way he tells it, they were friends in college, decided 552 00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:09,320 Speaker 1: to date, got married, then realized they weren't a great couple, 553 00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:12,560 Speaker 1: and decided to just be friends. All that happened years 554 00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:15,280 Speaker 1: before I met him, and he was very clear early 555 00:26:15,359 --> 00:26:21,800 Speaker 1: on that she was quote unquote important. A couple months 556 00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:25,360 Speaker 1: into dating, it came up that his friend was actually. 557 00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:27,840 Speaker 2: His ex wife. 558 00:26:28,119 --> 00:26:30,800 Speaker 1: Oh no. He explained the above to me, saying she 559 00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:32,959 Speaker 1: was one of his closest friends and that it was 560 00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:37,879 Speaker 1: purely platonic. I expressed some discomfort at him being so 561 00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:40,800 Speaker 1: close to an ex, and he told me that's fine. 562 00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:43,159 Speaker 1: If you have a serious issue with it, let me 563 00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:46,399 Speaker 1: know and save us some time. I'll choose her. I 564 00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:48,359 Speaker 1: like you and all, but I've known her for over 565 00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:51,080 Speaker 1: twelve years and she's one of the most important people 566 00:26:51,119 --> 00:26:52,959 Speaker 1: in my life. You'll have to be okay with that 567 00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:55,520 Speaker 1: if you want us to be a thing. Wow, man 568 00:26:55,600 --> 00:27:01,520 Speaker 1: in sead, he's laying it down. Bro Oh yeah, no 569 00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:04,879 Speaker 1: no room for like this, No, no wiggle room. No, 570 00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:07,280 Speaker 1: there's no same our time. Yeah, let it. Let me 571 00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:11,560 Speaker 1: end us Damn. When we were engaged, I asked again. 572 00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:16,960 Speaker 1: He gave me this perplexed look and asked, why would 573 00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:22,760 Speaker 1: us getting married affect my friendships? I mean kind of. 574 00:27:22,680 --> 00:27:24,679 Speaker 2: True, Yeah, this is funny. 575 00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:28,080 Speaker 1: When we were engaged, I sucked it up and went along, 576 00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:32,960 Speaker 1: and I resented every moment of knowing her, especially when 577 00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:35,920 Speaker 1: we had to be social. She understood some part of 578 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:39,119 Speaker 1: him I couldn't. Her husband was friends with mine as well, 579 00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:41,600 Speaker 1: so it's not like I could use him as an angle. 580 00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:48,560 Speaker 1: Her husband was friends with mine as well, so she's like, oh, 581 00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:52,680 Speaker 1: maybe I could use her husband to make my husband jealous, 582 00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:58,359 Speaker 1: like as an Oh my god, that's terrible. He'd have 583 00:27:58,480 --> 00:28:01,720 Speaker 1: lunch with his ex, they'd go to geeky movies and whatever. 584 00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:05,280 Speaker 1: A few times I brought it up, and he said, 585 00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:07,960 Speaker 1: we had this conversation before you had your chance to 586 00:28:08,040 --> 00:28:13,160 Speaker 1: back out. She died after they had lunch the other day, 587 00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:16,119 Speaker 1: on the way to her car. Oh my god. He 588 00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:20,760 Speaker 1: spent a bunch of time crying, but honestly I was relieved. 589 00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:24,400 Speaker 3: Oh oh. 590 00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:27,520 Speaker 1: He was working with her husband on funeral planning. I 591 00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:31,000 Speaker 1: told him, you don't think you're going, do you? My 592 00:28:31,240 --> 00:28:35,280 Speaker 1: argument summed up. She's dead, so she's not a factor anymore. 593 00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:38,920 Speaker 1: He doesn't get to use his she's my friend excuse 594 00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:43,600 Speaker 1: since she doesn't exist anymore. He had his cry for 595 00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:45,720 Speaker 1: a couple of days, but he needs to get done 596 00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:48,400 Speaker 1: with mourning her already. There's no need for him to 597 00:28:48,440 --> 00:28:51,000 Speaker 1: go to her funeral since I wouldn't want her at 598 00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:56,520 Speaker 1: his Oh wow, freaking deluge came so speechless right now. 599 00:28:56,720 --> 00:28:58,720 Speaker 1: He was the angriest I've ever seen him when I 600 00:28:58,760 --> 00:29:01,600 Speaker 1: told him that, replying he'll be going no matter how 601 00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:04,360 Speaker 1: I feel, and that he's willing to burn this to 602 00:29:04,440 --> 00:29:08,720 Speaker 1: the fucking ground while holding up his wedding band. Besides you, 603 00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:12,120 Speaker 1: she was the closest friend of my life. Him, her husband, 604 00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:15,600 Speaker 1: and my sisters are calling me an insensitive asshole over this. 605 00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:19,240 Speaker 1: All saying that there's no romantic aspect to their relationship 606 00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:22,440 Speaker 1: and that I'm heartless. Her husband went so far as 607 00:29:22,520 --> 00:29:26,000 Speaker 1: calling me a ghoul for how I've acted. I never 608 00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:29,040 Speaker 1: felt the relationship was appropriate, and I hid that for 609 00:29:29,160 --> 00:29:31,680 Speaker 1: years because I wanted to be with my husband. Now 610 00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:33,520 Speaker 1: that she's gone, I don't feel like I should have 611 00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:36,200 Speaker 1: it anymore, and I can speak freely about the bitch 612 00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:39,920 Speaker 1: and the ahole for wanting him to be done with 613 00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:44,200 Speaker 1: her and for him to not attend the funeral. Oh, 614 00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:48,680 Speaker 1: it sounds like she was nothing but like completely kind too, 615 00:29:48,840 --> 00:29:53,640 Speaker 1: Like that's what's crazy about this? Oh the dead ex. Yeah, 616 00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:56,040 Speaker 1: Like it sounds like she was like like super nice. 617 00:29:56,520 --> 00:30:02,520 Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, wow, is just I never heard like 618 00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:06,680 Speaker 4: like this is gaping, gaping asshole, like you. 619 00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:12,120 Speaker 1: Could you could drive a truck, okay, this carrier, plane, 620 00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:14,760 Speaker 1: just anything to. 621 00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:20,280 Speaker 3: Wow, I've I've you would you would think, I don't know, 622 00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:22,160 Speaker 3: you would just think common sense would kick. 623 00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:25,000 Speaker 1: In and be like eat on, John, John, John, When 624 00:30:25,080 --> 00:30:29,280 Speaker 1: is common times ever? Kick in? Come on? That's true? 625 00:30:29,320 --> 00:30:29,640 Speaker 3: What am I? 626 00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:31,000 Speaker 1: What am I talking about? 627 00:30:31,160 --> 00:30:32,600 Speaker 2: Come on? God? Wow? 628 00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:39,440 Speaker 1: Well that's it, case closed, Okay, this is okay. Ope, 629 00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:41,760 Speaker 1: I'm Samuel daughter, And I'm John Fry and we tell 630 00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:45,160 Speaker 1: the funniest stories on the Internet. And John, I have 631 00:30:45,320 --> 00:30:48,200 Speaker 1: a crazy story for you. Take it away. Entitled mom 632 00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:52,240 Speaker 1: tries to deny her dying son his wish and tries 633 00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:55,160 Speaker 1: to kill him because the books I got him were 634 00:30:55,320 --> 00:31:00,760 Speaker 1: satanic somemb parents. You know, some some moms eazy son 635 00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:03,760 Speaker 1: because of a book. The only person we're the only 636 00:31:03,800 --> 00:31:06,840 Speaker 1: thing we're sure of that satanic is Adam Levine. And 637 00:31:06,920 --> 00:31:09,480 Speaker 1: you should follow us on TikTok so we can beat 638 00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:13,000 Speaker 1: his TikTok into oblivion. Do it? Okay? So backstory, I'm 639 00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:14,440 Speaker 1: in a D and D group with a couple of 640 00:31:14,520 --> 00:31:16,640 Speaker 1: friends from nearby, and one of the members of the 641 00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:18,600 Speaker 1: group was a kid who was about fifteen years old. 642 00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:21,040 Speaker 1: He's really sweet, likes helping people out, and he's a 643 00:31:21,080 --> 00:31:24,000 Speaker 1: big fan of dungeons and dragons. Big fan so a 644 00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:29,320 Speaker 1: door yeah, big nerd dude. He also has cancer in 645 00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:30,720 Speaker 1: both lungs. Oh god, wow. 646 00:31:30,920 --> 00:31:31,400 Speaker 2: I feel like. 647 00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:38,280 Speaker 1: He's from a religious family that basically forces him to 648 00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:41,480 Speaker 1: act pure while he's in their sight. The mom is 649 00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:45,800 Speaker 1: Westborough Baptist Church level rapping. Oh dear well. The dad 650 00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:48,040 Speaker 1: is just a sensible person who tries to get him 651 00:31:48,040 --> 00:31:50,080 Speaker 1: to be a good kid when he's out of side 652 00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:53,320 Speaker 1: of his parents, though he just does normal teen stuff. 653 00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:56,000 Speaker 1: Because of his mom, the only books he was allowed 654 00:31:56,040 --> 00:31:59,800 Speaker 1: to own were Christian books and Bibles. Man can't even 655 00:31:59,840 --> 00:32:05,080 Speaker 1: have textbooks reading the Bible, and he joined our group 656 00:32:05,160 --> 00:32:07,120 Speaker 1: mainly as a way to escape his home life and 657 00:32:07,160 --> 00:32:11,600 Speaker 1: his mom, so which understandable because that sounds like, hell yeah, 658 00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:13,760 Speaker 1: it doesn't sound fun. A couple of weeks ago, the 659 00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:16,480 Speaker 1: cancer in his lungs started to get to him, so 660 00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:19,200 Speaker 1: he was taken to a hospital by his parents. He 661 00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:21,640 Speaker 1: contacted me about this a day after he was taken 662 00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:25,080 Speaker 1: to the hospital, stating that he wanted a Monster Manual 663 00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:28,440 Speaker 1: as his last wish, his dying wish, stating that he 664 00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:30,400 Speaker 1: was tired of reading the same things. I bought him 665 00:32:30,440 --> 00:32:32,920 Speaker 1: the book from Barnes and Nobles, but considered that he's 666 00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:35,800 Speaker 1: a dying team at all. I got him Volo's Guide 667 00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:39,520 Speaker 1: to Monsters and martrech Gannan's Thorm of Foes stacked up 668 00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:42,960 Speaker 1: on that so the good stuff not good stuff good 669 00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:46,960 Speaker 1: that's not good is. The next day, which was his birthday, 670 00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:49,800 Speaker 1: he was still in the hospital, so I brought him 671 00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:52,840 Speaker 1: the books as a gift. After he blew out the candles, 672 00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:55,960 Speaker 1: we had a cake and he started opening gifts. Mine 673 00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:58,760 Speaker 1: was the first to be opened. Seeing what they were, 674 00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:02,080 Speaker 1: he immediately got his humongous grin on his face and 675 00:33:02,240 --> 00:33:04,880 Speaker 1: hug me. Meanwhile, his mom stared down in the books 676 00:33:04,880 --> 00:33:09,320 Speaker 1: with a look of pure disgust, with her husband staring 677 00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:11,680 Speaker 1: at her with the wary look in his eyes, like 678 00:33:11,840 --> 00:33:14,440 Speaker 1: this husband's just like done? 679 00:33:14,760 --> 00:33:16,760 Speaker 3: Is the bomb about to go off? Also, like what 680 00:33:16,880 --> 00:33:20,160 Speaker 3: kind of mom? Your son is literally dying? Like, yeah, 681 00:33:20,320 --> 00:33:24,720 Speaker 3: let them have to them freaking book. But she does 682 00:33:24,840 --> 00:33:27,200 Speaker 3: not let him have the book. She picks up one 683 00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:30,760 Speaker 3: of the books and relights one of the candles and. 684 00:33:31,080 --> 00:33:33,880 Speaker 1: Holds the damn book over it to try to set 685 00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:37,520 Speaker 1: it on fire. I managed to stop her and demand, 686 00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:40,160 Speaker 1: what the f are you doing? He asked me to 687 00:33:40,160 --> 00:33:42,080 Speaker 1: get those books, and I'm not going to let you 688 00:33:42,120 --> 00:33:45,520 Speaker 1: take them away. His mom simply stared me down and 689 00:33:45,640 --> 00:33:49,320 Speaker 1: said something along the lines of the books are sinful 690 00:33:49,400 --> 00:33:54,200 Speaker 1: and satanic and full of evil, and that our son 691 00:33:54,360 --> 00:33:58,280 Speaker 1: has no business with them. I retort and say that 692 00:33:58,360 --> 00:34:01,320 Speaker 1: her son can read what that hecky ones, and that 693 00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:04,280 Speaker 1: she shouldn't have to force him to be Christian for real. 694 00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:06,560 Speaker 1: She starts getting red in the face and yelling at 695 00:34:06,560 --> 00:34:09,600 Speaker 1: me about essentially forcing children to believe in God from 696 00:34:09,640 --> 00:34:12,360 Speaker 1: a young age. I state that I'm Baptists, which I 697 00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:14,960 Speaker 1: actually am, and say that faith in God is a 698 00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:18,360 Speaker 1: matter between God and the individual facts facts. She turns 699 00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:22,280 Speaker 1: red all over and actively starts to destroy the books 700 00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:25,839 Speaker 1: with me, my friend, and her husband. The husband gets 701 00:34:25,880 --> 00:34:28,920 Speaker 1: in the mix, trying to stop her. At one point 702 00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:32,040 Speaker 1: I shouted, would God want you to do this to 703 00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:38,120 Speaker 1: restrict your dying son's freedom of expression? Literally? That right question. 704 00:34:38,320 --> 00:34:42,759 Speaker 1: But the thing is this just sets her effing a blaze. 705 00:34:43,360 --> 00:34:43,720 Speaker 1: It would? 706 00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:44,480 Speaker 2: It would? 707 00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:49,400 Speaker 1: She tosses the books aside and starts trying to strangle 708 00:34:49,719 --> 00:34:54,040 Speaker 1: her son, and her husband calls security immediately when she 709 00:34:54,080 --> 00:34:57,360 Speaker 1: does this. Security gets here within about a minute of 710 00:34:57,400 --> 00:34:59,799 Speaker 1: the two of us trying to pride titled mom off 711 00:34:59,800 --> 00:35:02,680 Speaker 1: her son and drag her away, with her shouting that 712 00:35:02,719 --> 00:35:07,239 Speaker 1: we're all kindamites to the devil. Both her husband and 713 00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:13,080 Speaker 1: my friend charge her with child abuse, assault, and attempted murder. 714 00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:16,680 Speaker 1: Good trial still going, and I'll try to update this 715 00:35:16,719 --> 00:35:18,000 Speaker 1: post as the trial goes on.