WEBVTT - Ep 21. " What the Hell Are Modern Woman?" 0:00:03.040 --> 0:00:07.200 We're just too unapologetically black women with an opinion who 0:00:07.240 --> 0:00:13.320 talked back. Thank you for tuning into a new episode 0:00:13.320 --> 0:00:16.639 that we talked back. It's your girl a j And 0:00:16.720 --> 0:00:19.439 it's Tam Bam, y'all, and we are excited to be 0:00:19.520 --> 0:00:23.040 back another week to talk ship with you, niggers and bitches. 0:00:24.520 --> 0:00:29.520 How was your weekend so far? Um? I'm excited to 0:00:30.400 --> 0:00:34.000 watch the Mayweather fight tonight. By the time y'all hear 0:00:34.040 --> 0:00:37.199 this Mayweather, we'll have either been beaten by Logan or 0:00:37.240 --> 0:00:39.400 beaten Logan's ask. But I'm gonna go with the ladder. 0:00:40.640 --> 0:00:44.800 Do you know that Mayweather gets fifty of pay per 0:00:44.880 --> 0:00:50.640 view sales or Logan only gets ten? Damn? And I 0:00:50.680 --> 0:00:53.560 think the white boy has uh two hundred fifty thousand 0:00:53.600 --> 0:01:01.680 guaranteed and Mayweather five million guaranteed two hundred two. I 0:01:01.720 --> 0:01:05.720 don't know who negotiated his contract, but he already lost 0:01:05.760 --> 0:01:07.959 the fighters as far as I'm so maywere that I 0:01:08.080 --> 0:01:12.600 here really beating people up for the check, right, But 0:01:13.000 --> 0:01:17.160 no matter what happens, he already won exactly. But you know, 0:01:17.240 --> 0:01:19.399 like we're talking about boxing, like you can win a 0:01:19.440 --> 0:01:22.120 hundred fights, but that one fights you lose. Boy, you. 0:01:22.200 --> 0:01:25.600 I'm gonna never let you forget it like Lebron right now, 0:01:26.080 --> 0:01:28.440 you know what. They need to leave Lebron the funk alone. 0:01:29.240 --> 0:01:32.320 God damn, they can't stand to see somebody like you're 0:01:32.360 --> 0:01:35.880 not gonna win them all. Like people can't stand to 0:01:35.959 --> 0:01:38.800 see he's not the underdog for sure. But like when 0:01:38.800 --> 0:01:41.120 you're on top, it's like people be waiting for you 0:01:41.160 --> 0:01:46.520 to fall, Like, yes, that nigga foully lose. He's mediocre 0:01:46.640 --> 0:01:55.120 like me. Yes, people literally don't be um satisfied until 0:01:55.120 --> 0:01:58.240 you back where he at. He never right back what 0:01:58.360 --> 0:02:01.840 they had. But you know he's on a losing team 0:02:01.960 --> 0:02:06.800 right now, right shame. We still love you, Lebron. You 0:02:06.880 --> 0:02:09.760 to go. Hell yeah, and look, i'd be telling people 0:02:09.800 --> 0:02:14.840 Lebron James is my cousin because he got the same 0:02:14.960 --> 0:02:19.280 last name, and like everything on my daddy side of 0:02:19.320 --> 0:02:21.640 the family tallest. Hell, even the women be like six 0:02:21.760 --> 0:02:25.760 one six. Your family just had the same slave owner. 0:02:25.880 --> 0:02:29.040 That's all why the slave owner couldn't have been a 0:02:29.080 --> 0:02:32.880 black man last same James. It's black. Yeah, it's a 0:02:32.960 --> 0:02:36.840 non fact that black people's own slaves, for sure. But 0:02:37.360 --> 0:02:43.960 speaking of slavery, oh, let's get into the today messed up, 0:02:44.000 --> 0:02:49.040 you guys. I'm sorry that we're talking about slavery. Speaking 0:02:49.080 --> 0:02:53.040 of slavery. Before we get into it today's topic, let's 0:02:53.680 --> 0:02:57.480 um go to and ask a black friend for this week. Yea. 0:03:05.560 --> 0:03:08.880 You know, I had um some criticism from one of 0:03:08.919 --> 0:03:12.200 my friends saying that we're not going to get a 0:03:12.200 --> 0:03:14.840 lot of questions from white people because we mean in 0:03:14.880 --> 0:03:17.960 our responses to them. Really are we? I don't feel 0:03:18.040 --> 0:03:20.040 I don't feel like we're me. We've only had a 0:03:20.040 --> 0:03:22.120 couple we only we've only had a couple of people 0:03:22.160 --> 0:03:25.560 submit questions that I remember. I believe out of the couple, 0:03:25.680 --> 0:03:27.560 two of them were pretty much the same thing. How 0:03:27.560 --> 0:03:33.120 do you deal with um, white guilt, white guilt, white guilt, 0:03:33.400 --> 0:03:36.800 and you know, people saying that they don't have white privilege, Like, 0:03:36.840 --> 0:03:39.080 how do you deal with having white privilege? That's not 0:03:39.120 --> 0:03:41.800 something I can really answer for a white person. So 0:03:41.920 --> 0:03:45.040 we've had probably just a few questions, maybe five or so. 0:03:45.920 --> 0:03:48.760 I don't know how we could have been any now, 0:03:48.800 --> 0:03:50.400 you sir. I don't think we were mean at all, 0:03:51.640 --> 0:03:55.400 but mm hmmm, that's how they feel. Hey, look y'all 0:03:55.440 --> 0:03:58.800 need to stop being stuff goddamn sensitive isn't that what um? 0:03:59.000 --> 0:04:02.360 Narcissists usually people? You're too sensitive. I'm not working with 0:04:02.440 --> 0:04:07.560 your head. You're just too sensitive. Al right. So today's 0:04:07.840 --> 0:04:12.040 UM ask a black friend comes via email. The person 0:04:12.080 --> 0:04:14.520 would like to remain anonymous, so we're not saying any 0:04:14.600 --> 0:04:17.680 names or emails, all that good stuff. UM So here 0:04:17.680 --> 0:04:20.440 it goes. It says, one of my black friends noticeably 0:04:21.080 --> 0:04:25.159 uses the term cracker. We're referring to white people. It's 0:04:25.160 --> 0:04:28.239 not super excessive, but enough to make me right until 0:04:28.240 --> 0:04:31.560 we talk back. I have never challenged him about it, 0:04:31.839 --> 0:04:34.040 but since I would never call him the N word, 0:04:34.360 --> 0:04:37.360 I just wish she would refrain from using the term 0:04:37.400 --> 0:04:40.760 because it may refer to me. Do you believe that 0:04:40.800 --> 0:04:45.479 black people truly can't be racist? Is reverse racism a thing? 0:04:46.640 --> 0:04:48.919 This is a good one, tim, m hm, this is 0:04:48.960 --> 0:04:54.159 a great one. UM. I don't know if I believe 0:04:54.200 --> 0:04:58.000 in reverse racism because I think of racism UM is 0:04:58.680 --> 0:05:02.159 a way to oppress others. And I don't feel like 0:05:02.680 --> 0:05:05.120 this person can oppress you or keep you from having 0:05:05.200 --> 0:05:10.080 anything by calling you a cracker. It just probably just 0:05:10.160 --> 0:05:13.560 hurt your feelings. Most most importantly, I don't know if 0:05:14.160 --> 0:05:19.760 maybe it's a form of prejudice, not reverse racism for me, 0:05:20.400 --> 0:05:21.960 but I mean, if that's your friend, just tell her 0:05:22.000 --> 0:05:26.080 you don't like it. It's a guy, oh yeah, oh 0:05:26.120 --> 0:05:30.000 well tell him you don't like it, Like Yo, stop 0:05:30.040 --> 0:05:33.640 saying cracking around me, bro, exactly because the life person 0:05:33.720 --> 0:05:36.480 was saying the N word a lot. You know, they 0:05:36.480 --> 0:05:42.640 would get checked about it a lot once exactly, like 0:05:42.680 --> 0:05:45.040 if they grew up in the hood, like who why 0:05:45.080 --> 0:05:50.320 are you using the word nigga? Like right, So just 0:05:50.440 --> 0:05:52.760 check them on it, Like if you don't like that 0:05:52.960 --> 0:05:56.279 anything that anybody is doing that is especially your friend 0:05:56.400 --> 0:05:58.719 or even not your friend, that you don't like in 0:05:58.760 --> 0:06:03.280 your presence, it's sore to address it absolutely and again, 0:06:03.320 --> 0:06:06.040 like what Tam was saying about, um, black people not 0:06:06.400 --> 0:06:09.200 being able to be racist, I believe it is prejudice. 0:06:09.200 --> 0:06:11.320 And I believe all groups of people have some type 0:06:11.360 --> 0:06:16.000 of prejudice. Um beliefs um that could be coming from 0:06:16.000 --> 0:06:19.920 real places, like you know, even with stereotypes, they come 0:06:19.960 --> 0:06:23.400 from real places, right, So I believe I really do 0:06:23.520 --> 0:06:25.960 love chicken and watermelon. I love that ship. It's not 0:06:26.120 --> 0:06:29.760 a not a joke. I love that ship. This is 0:06:30.080 --> 0:06:33.560 why the watermelon costs so much. Why is watermelon eight 0:06:33.560 --> 0:06:37.280 dollars for a small wa watermelon that don't even have season? 0:06:37.520 --> 0:06:41.480 Exactly y'all selling GM a watermelon for eight dollars. Let's 0:06:41.480 --> 0:06:45.480 get back on track. The fuck literally was just in Walmart. 0:06:46.040 --> 0:06:49.320 I do not want a seedless watermelon for eight dollars. 0:06:49.320 --> 0:06:52.000 Who y'all playing with? I was trying to find me 0:06:52.040 --> 0:06:54.160 a watermelon just so I could put mustard on it 0:06:54.200 --> 0:06:59.240 like Lizo did over the weekend. What it tastes like? Yeah, 0:06:59.320 --> 0:07:02.440 me too. There's a trend about putting mustard on your watermelon, 0:07:02.480 --> 0:07:04.279 and I wanted to taste it to see what was 0:07:04.320 --> 0:07:06.680 going on. And when I saw the price of watermelon, 0:07:06.720 --> 0:07:10.120 I was like, I'm not paying that for that fake watermelon. Yeah, 0:07:10.120 --> 0:07:14.080 you gotta go to a farmer's market. Yeah, but um yeah, 0:07:14.080 --> 0:07:17.600 back to our ask a black friend, Like, black people 0:07:17.640 --> 0:07:19.920 are not at this point, We are not in a 0:07:20.000 --> 0:07:24.360 position to put laws and bills and things like that 0:07:24.440 --> 0:07:28.720 in place to systemically oppress the white people. So really, 0:07:28.720 --> 0:07:31.080 if we use the word cracker, it's literally us just 0:07:31.160 --> 0:07:34.560 talking ship. We can't we we it has no merit 0:07:34.600 --> 0:07:38.360 behind it because we can't do ship. We can't exactly, 0:07:38.400 --> 0:07:42.200 we can't do anything we can't do anything to really 0:07:42.240 --> 0:07:48.640 affect you're getting a job, getting housing, getting food, uh, 0:07:48.680 --> 0:07:51.560 taking care of your family. We can't. So I understand 0:07:51.560 --> 0:07:54.120 his sentiment absolutely, and yes he should address it like 0:07:54.160 --> 0:07:56.360 you should not. If you feel uncomfortable, you know you 0:07:56.360 --> 0:07:59.760 should address it. But in the South, a cracker usually 0:07:59.840 --> 0:08:02.040 is a redneck for real, for real, you know what 0:08:02.040 --> 0:08:04.480 I'm saying, which they can. They are damn their equivalent 0:08:04.520 --> 0:08:07.720 to any nigger out the projects because they're just as ghetto, 0:08:07.920 --> 0:08:10.720 because it's all a state of mine. Um. The way 0:08:10.760 --> 0:08:13.440 they act, you know, the way they dress, the things 0:08:13.440 --> 0:08:16.520 they do. The culture of a cracker is different from 0:08:16.560 --> 0:08:21.640 a regular traditional white person as far as I'm concerned. Yeah, 0:08:21.720 --> 0:08:26.240 so I don't feel like that. Sometimes I use the 0:08:26.320 --> 0:08:28.960 term cracker when I'm talking about a cracker, though, you 0:08:29.000 --> 0:08:30.640 know what, I'm saying that I got white friends like 0:08:30.640 --> 0:08:33.000 they like to say, I got black friends. I wouldn't 0:08:33.000 --> 0:08:37.000 call my white friends a cracker because they just aren't crackers, right, 0:08:37.520 --> 0:08:39.640 I want to say, And that's a cracker ass cracker, 0:08:39.679 --> 0:08:47.480 I don't just use one. I'm sorry, we are we 0:08:47.559 --> 0:08:52.080 offending you. I apologize, and we probably should not talking 0:08:52.080 --> 0:08:55.040 about you though we should probably apologize in advanced First 0:08:55.040 --> 0:09:01.920 of all, yeah, but we listen, we're sorry for your friends. 0:09:01.920 --> 0:09:03.679 You should talk to that person and tell them not 0:09:03.720 --> 0:09:06.239 to say that in your presence because it makes you uncomfortable. 0:09:06.600 --> 0:09:09.280 And you probably aren't a cracker because if you listen, 0:09:09.320 --> 0:09:11.560 I don't feel like crackers listen to our show. But 0:09:11.640 --> 0:09:17.080 if you do, please keep tuning in. You appreciate you. Yeah, 0:09:17.160 --> 0:09:21.199 let's look at the historical term, the historical meaning of cracker, right, 0:09:21.240 --> 0:09:24.800 you know, the government, it's probably made up of some 0:09:24.840 --> 0:09:32.520 crackers because they stay whopping us right on our ends exactly. 0:09:32.640 --> 0:09:34.640 So that's where the turn cracker even comes from in 0:09:34.640 --> 0:09:37.600 the first place. So listen, it's not a salt team. 0:09:38.120 --> 0:09:40.680 Check your friend. Check your friend. If that's really your friend, 0:09:40.720 --> 0:09:44.040 they'll understand. But I really don't think that they're talking 0:09:44.080 --> 0:09:45.960 to you personally. I know you may feel that way 0:09:46.000 --> 0:09:49.160 because you might have some crackers in your family, m 0:09:49.840 --> 0:09:53.640 but I promise it's no malice behind it, especially if 0:09:53.640 --> 0:09:58.000 you consider this person a friend. So yeah, that's just 0:09:58.160 --> 0:10:01.679 that on that. So the crazy part is we would 0:10:01.679 --> 0:10:06.199 not give the same exact advice flipped. If the conversation 0:10:06.400 --> 0:10:10.880 was flipped totally different exactly because they are in more 0:10:10.920 --> 0:10:13.960 of a position to really affect what we do on 0:10:14.000 --> 0:10:15.760 a day to day basis and how we live our 0:10:15.800 --> 0:10:19.200 lives as a body of people. Like maybe that one 0:10:19.240 --> 0:10:22.320 white person has no bearing on the black person's life, 0:10:23.120 --> 0:10:26.560 you know, just between the two of them, but as 0:10:26.559 --> 0:10:28.840 a body of people, y'all do. And that's why you 0:10:28.880 --> 0:10:31.280 can't just be going around saying that in words. Right, 0:10:32.760 --> 0:10:35.600 we'll fight and we'll fight you about it too. It's 0:10:35.640 --> 0:10:38.760 probably not good. You know. Black people are really like 0:10:39.320 --> 0:10:43.679 some uh, black people embody like a lot of empathy, 0:10:44.200 --> 0:10:46.200 and that's how we that's why we're in a position 0:10:46.240 --> 0:10:48.480 we are now because we just naturally like kind even 0:10:48.480 --> 0:10:52.040 though we're really nasty to each other, we're naturally like kind. 0:10:52.200 --> 0:10:56.600 So like that word could get your ass what before 0:10:56.600 --> 0:11:00.439 anything else, right, because it comes from a place of 0:11:00.520 --> 0:11:05.400 painness embedded in our spirits. Yeah, like nigga, excuse me 0:11:09.160 --> 0:11:11.840 before you even though it and the most kindest, nicest 0:11:11.880 --> 0:11:14.880 person that don't even bother anybody mussed around and beat 0:11:14.920 --> 0:11:19.640 the dogs out of you. Hold on, before we get 0:11:19.679 --> 0:11:26.880 into anything else, Let's pay some bills real quick. Let's 0:11:26.920 --> 0:11:29.280 get into a topic today. It has nothing to do 0:11:29.360 --> 0:11:31.600 with you know what, it really doesn't have anything to 0:11:31.640 --> 0:11:34.480 do with slavery. But we are living in a different time, right, 0:11:34.520 --> 0:11:36.200 So that's why I was talking. That's why I said, 0:11:36.320 --> 0:11:38.240 speaking of slavery, but maybe hold on a little bit 0:11:38.240 --> 0:11:40.280 and make it may have something to do with slavery 0:11:40.320 --> 0:11:43.520 a little bit. We want to talk about this term 0:11:43.800 --> 0:11:53.600 modern woman, um, as opposed to a traditional woman. There's 0:11:53.600 --> 0:11:56.080 a lot of talk right now in the Black community 0:11:56.440 --> 0:12:02.040 in regards to modern women. Are mordern women? Finish? Um, 0:12:03.000 --> 0:12:07.560 ain't nobody fucking with modern women? What exactly is a 0:12:07.600 --> 0:12:11.240 modern woman? Like? What are y'all nigg is talking about? Actually, 0:12:11.559 --> 0:12:14.880 last week we had three really really really successful Black 0:12:14.880 --> 0:12:17.959 women on one of them is engaged to be married. 0:12:18.559 --> 0:12:21.400 I guess we would consider them modern women. You know, 0:12:21.520 --> 0:12:24.560 they're able to finance their entire lives without a man. 0:12:25.240 --> 0:12:27.920 So really a man is a necessity. How women have 0:12:28.200 --> 0:12:32.080 always been a necessity to men, you know. So now 0:12:32.200 --> 0:12:36.800 we're more in a position to have more of a voice. Uh, 0:12:36.920 --> 0:12:41.480 we're making more money, we're getting more educated, um, and 0:12:41.559 --> 0:12:44.640 now we're considered like this modern woman as if it's 0:12:44.640 --> 0:12:47.080 a negative thing. I'd like to think of myself as 0:12:47.120 --> 0:12:50.200 a like a hybrid kind of we do want to 0:12:50.240 --> 0:12:55.600 maintain that independence, but I also still exactly and I 0:12:55.640 --> 0:12:58.000 still want to be treated like a damn lady. I 0:12:58.000 --> 0:12:59.760 still want to be treated like a woman. I still 0:12:59.800 --> 0:13:02.360 want you to sit facing the door so you could 0:13:02.400 --> 0:13:05.400 see who walking up behind me, like my nigga, like 0:13:05.760 --> 0:13:08.079 that used to be your own guard. Argument Because I'm sitting, 0:13:08.200 --> 0:13:11.400 I like to watch you coming in, right, But he's like, 0:13:11.440 --> 0:13:13.240 you want to get up and fight first or what, 0:13:13.640 --> 0:13:16.800 So sit here, okay, So going forward, I know that 0:13:16.960 --> 0:13:19.680 my back is facing the door, so he could see 0:13:19.679 --> 0:13:22.120 who coming in the door. So that's Those are just 0:13:22.200 --> 0:13:26.120 some of the things. Um I've seen some ship on Clubhouse. 0:13:26.120 --> 0:13:30.360 A bitch was arguing with a guy because he literally 0:13:30.400 --> 0:13:33.800 broke up with her because he wanted to sleep. They 0:13:33.840 --> 0:13:37.680 were out of town at a hotel and she wanted 0:13:37.720 --> 0:13:40.480 to sleep on the side of the bed closest to 0:13:40.600 --> 0:13:44.240 the door. And this is it just came up to 0:13:44.320 --> 0:13:46.679 be like two things that are true at the same time. 0:13:46.880 --> 0:13:49.360 So she was single but in a relationship with this guy, 0:13:49.400 --> 0:13:52.680 but she had children, so she slept closest to the 0:13:52.720 --> 0:13:55.440 door so that she could be basically on call for 0:13:55.480 --> 0:13:58.000 her kids, right, but now and they're together in the 0:13:58.120 --> 0:14:02.800 hotel and he was saying how he was telling her 0:14:02.840 --> 0:14:05.319 to sleep on the other side. He's going to sleep 0:14:05.360 --> 0:14:08.640 by the door for you know, because that's an innate 0:14:08.679 --> 0:14:14.520 thing that some may have. Yeah, the protector right right, 0:14:14.920 --> 0:14:17.240 And she argued him down about this. They broke up 0:14:17.240 --> 0:14:19.920 over it. They broke up over and sleeping on the 0:14:20.080 --> 0:14:24.160 side of the band. And who's patty though? Is the 0:14:24.200 --> 0:14:28.160 woman patty or the guy the woman? Because based on 0:14:28.160 --> 0:14:33.160 this term modern woman capable, she's incapable of being protected basically, 0:14:33.680 --> 0:14:39.840 mm hmmm, basically, but at the rise of the modern woman. 0:14:40.560 --> 0:14:43.920 Do we feel like it correlates with the decline of 0:14:44.080 --> 0:14:47.320 marriage in our community? I'm looking here and it says 0:14:47.720 --> 0:14:51.160 in two thousand nineteen only thirty percent of African Americans 0:14:51.160 --> 0:14:54.320 were married, compared to forty eight percent of all Americans. 0:14:54.720 --> 0:14:57.920 So do we think that in our community with us 0:14:57.960 --> 0:15:01.440 to be more educated and having more money is ruining 0:15:02.080 --> 0:15:06.440 are a black family unit even more? It's very well possible. 0:15:06.480 --> 0:15:08.440 And you know a lot of women may not see 0:15:09.400 --> 0:15:13.480 see it that way, but I believe it's very well 0:15:13.520 --> 0:15:16.400 possible because you look at things that that have been 0:15:16.440 --> 0:15:19.520 done to the black community to deter us from the 0:15:19.560 --> 0:15:24.160 success that we know we are destined for. Right. So, um, 0:15:24.200 --> 0:15:25.360 you know I told you all I was writing a 0:15:25.400 --> 0:15:27.960 book before. So in the very first like the introduction 0:15:27.960 --> 0:15:31.120 of my book, I talked about the history of black marriage. 0:15:31.760 --> 0:15:37.680 So before nineteen sixty the majority of black people, and 0:15:37.680 --> 0:15:39.560 I don't want to use the term African American. I'll 0:15:39.560 --> 0:15:43.000 tell you about that in a minute. But before nineteen 0:15:43.080 --> 0:15:46.120 sixty five, the majority of black people in America over 0:15:46.160 --> 0:15:49.960 the age of thirty were married. We're more married, you know, 0:15:50.520 --> 0:15:53.960 in comparison to the white to their white counterparts. But 0:15:54.080 --> 0:15:56.360 something happened, like different things happened, like you had to 0:15:56.480 --> 0:16:00.560 warn drugs, the civil rights movement, redline, all these different 0:16:00.600 --> 0:16:06.600 things happened, and especially the War on drugs, right, um, 0:16:06.840 --> 0:16:10.120 which caused a lot of black men to be incarcerated 0:16:10.160 --> 0:16:13.960 for petty ship in comparison to black I mean sorry, 0:16:13.960 --> 0:16:17.400 in comparison to white men. So it kind of ripped 0:16:17.440 --> 0:16:22.440 apart the black family dynamics. Um, they took the men 0:16:22.520 --> 0:16:25.160 and then they gave women. They gave black women, you know, 0:16:25.240 --> 0:16:27.400 public house and government assistance. So now and then you 0:16:27.480 --> 0:16:30.800 also can't have the black man in the home when 0:16:30.800 --> 0:16:34.160 you're on public housing. Right, So it's like the government 0:16:34.200 --> 0:16:36.280 is now your daddy, the government is now your husband. 0:16:37.760 --> 0:16:40.080 Black men can't get a job, so then black men 0:16:40.160 --> 0:16:43.480 can't take care of their families. And people are using 0:16:43.480 --> 0:16:46.240 that now as if it's an excuse for some black men, 0:16:46.320 --> 0:16:48.760 Like some black men are using that as an excuse 0:16:48.800 --> 0:16:52.960 to not show up for their families. Um, but it's 0:16:52.960 --> 0:16:55.600 really not an excuse. Like even an educated black woman, 0:16:55.640 --> 0:16:58.640 you and that black man could possibly have the same degree. 0:16:59.480 --> 0:17:02.200 I feel that the black woman could possibly get that 0:17:02.280 --> 0:17:07.000 job before the black man would. So they're intentionally and 0:17:07.040 --> 0:17:09.560 it's still a form of white supremacy there somewhearing their 0:17:09.640 --> 0:17:13.800 hidden right that's still turning us against each other. Right, 0:17:14.480 --> 0:17:17.159 because it also says, uh, in two thousand nineteen, just 0:17:17.320 --> 0:17:20.760 under half or forty eight percent of black women have 0:17:20.960 --> 0:17:25.200 never been married. Forty eight percent of us have never 0:17:25.320 --> 0:17:28.520 been married, and that's up from forty four percent in 0:17:28.560 --> 0:17:32.080 two thousand and eight and up from it's two thousand 0:17:32.080 --> 0:17:35.160 and five. So the number of us not getting married 0:17:35.280 --> 0:17:38.440 married is just going up and up and up. Yeah, 0:17:38.440 --> 0:17:40.840 because I remember at my high school, Sorry, what were 0:17:40.840 --> 0:17:44.400 you gonna say? Tom? But then the money we're making 0:17:44.520 --> 0:17:49.320 is going up and up and up. Two. Yeah, but 0:17:49.400 --> 0:17:53.840 what do we want a husband our money? Right? That's 0:17:53.840 --> 0:17:55.800 why I said I'm a hybrid, Like I want both, 0:17:55.840 --> 0:17:59.240 Like I want a man who's not that insecure to 0:17:59.320 --> 0:18:01.159 not give a ship about this money, because guess what, 0:18:01.800 --> 0:18:04.000 I'm giving it to you. I'm gonna give you the 0:18:04.040 --> 0:18:05.840 money like I'm not. First of all, I'm not messing 0:18:05.880 --> 0:18:09.840 with somebody who is mentally broke. There's a difference. There's 0:18:09.840 --> 0:18:12.400 a difference between a man who's you know, living paycheck 0:18:12.440 --> 0:18:15.000 to paycheck like a lot of people do, and then 0:18:15.040 --> 0:18:18.200 just somebody who's out here not trying. If you are 0:18:18.240 --> 0:18:20.800 mentally broke, I can't funk with you. That has nothing 0:18:20.840 --> 0:18:21.960 to do with how much money you have in the 0:18:22.000 --> 0:18:24.520 bank account. That just has That has everything to do 0:18:24.640 --> 0:18:28.560 with you know, what you want out of life? No ambition, 0:18:28.640 --> 0:18:32.439 no goals, no nothing that's different. So should if I 0:18:32.480 --> 0:18:35.320 get to the bag first here, because I know you'll 0:18:35.400 --> 0:18:38.880 multiply the same way. If a man gives a educated 0:18:38.920 --> 0:18:43.080 woman something, she's gonna double it. Right, You give her 0:18:43.080 --> 0:18:44.879 a home, she give her a house, she make it 0:18:44.920 --> 0:18:49.040 her home. Yes, So I would give him the bag 0:18:49.080 --> 0:18:50.760 if I got to it first, I wouldn't be that 0:18:50.840 --> 0:18:53.480 concerned about And I'm not messing with somebody who has 0:18:54.200 --> 0:18:58.520 nothing now, because here's my question for men. Oftentimes, do 0:18:58.600 --> 0:19:04.439 y'all funk with broke niggas? Yeah? Do they? Well, they 0:19:04.480 --> 0:19:06.720 go into business with a broken nigga, Well, they go 0:19:06.760 --> 0:19:09.600 into business with somebody who because the marriage is a business, 0:19:09.920 --> 0:19:13.560 what you're going to somebody that does not have the 0:19:13.680 --> 0:19:18.639 proper business plan? No, that doesn't have the proper um 0:19:19.400 --> 0:19:23.640 financial standing, that does not have any history of being 0:19:23.680 --> 0:19:27.960 successful at any fucking thing. No, So why are y'all 0:19:27.960 --> 0:19:31.560 expecting that out of women? It's the same thing. Men 0:19:31.640 --> 0:19:37.639 love men with money too. What is the problem? Right, bigimie, 0:19:39.880 --> 0:19:44.679 big dog, big brow in this guy? What are you 0:19:44.720 --> 0:19:50.360 talking about? So? Yeah, y'all want men with money too, 0:19:50.400 --> 0:19:52.919 So what's the problem like? And it doesn't necessarily like 0:19:52.960 --> 0:19:55.920 the man doesn't necessarily have to have the money today, 0:19:55.960 --> 0:19:58.399 but you have to always be working towards it. I 0:19:58.440 --> 0:20:01.840 feel that, Um, if you are with a woman who 0:20:02.000 --> 0:20:05.880 is not at least worthy of you aspiring to one 0:20:05.960 --> 0:20:08.840 day take care of your complete family, then leave her. 0:20:09.160 --> 0:20:12.320 Leave her today if she's not worth it. That's the 0:20:12.359 --> 0:20:16.040 bottom line exactly, leave, get up right now and going 0:20:16.119 --> 0:20:19.160 there and be like, hey, Kea, just say working, I'm 0:20:19.160 --> 0:20:22.120 about to go and walk out that motherfucker. Yeah, leave 0:20:22.160 --> 0:20:25.080 her if she ain't worthy. Are y'all nigg is waiting 0:20:25.119 --> 0:20:26.680 for your sons to grow up to take care of 0:20:26.720 --> 0:20:29.000 a mama? Is that what y'are waiting for? Because I 0:20:29.040 --> 0:20:32.520 know half these men were raised by single black women right, 0:20:32.640 --> 0:20:34.800 never saw a man take care of their mom. So 0:20:34.840 --> 0:20:37.880 they their whole lives, they've they've been striving to get 0:20:37.920 --> 0:20:40.360 to a certain point so that they can take care 0:20:40.359 --> 0:20:43.240 of their mama because they never saw a man do it. Right, 0:20:44.320 --> 0:20:47.720 Are you saying that you are making the woman that's 0:20:47.720 --> 0:20:50.520 in your life wait for her son to then get 0:20:50.560 --> 0:20:52.919 older to take care of her, Because that's what it 0:20:52.960 --> 0:20:56.200 sounds like to me. It's a it's a hamster wheel. 0:20:56.359 --> 0:20:59.840 It's just over and over and over again, same, over 0:20:59.880 --> 0:21:02.480 and over and over again. What can we do about it? Though? 0:21:02.720 --> 0:21:06.959 How can we create a paradigm shift that will we 0:21:07.000 --> 0:21:11.040 can have equality or send my equality in our relationship 0:21:11.119 --> 0:21:13.919 and still get married and be happy with one another? 0:21:14.240 --> 0:21:19.359 What the fund can we do? That's the question? What 0:21:19.640 --> 0:21:23.840 can we do? What can we do um. I think 0:21:24.240 --> 0:21:27.280 are we better off when we were in the kitchen? 0:21:29.040 --> 0:21:32.040 So here's the thing home. What with the pandemic, it 0:21:32.160 --> 0:21:34.480 forced a lot of people to be at home. It 0:21:34.560 --> 0:21:36.800 forced a lot of people to teach their children. It 0:21:36.880 --> 0:21:39.919 forced a lot of people to be more tentative to 0:21:40.000 --> 0:21:42.400 their household, right, and it forced people to see who 0:21:42.400 --> 0:21:44.679 they're actually married to, and who they are actually in 0:21:44.720 --> 0:21:49.000 relationships with, and who the funk they are themselves. So 0:21:49.200 --> 0:21:51.119 a lot of people, from a lot of people I know, 0:21:51.200 --> 0:21:52.879 didn't a lot of children to go back to school. 0:21:53.000 --> 0:21:56.240 They're better off being home schooled. Like I think children 0:21:56.240 --> 0:21:57.959 need to go to school more so for like the 0:21:58.000 --> 0:22:03.000 social aspect of it, right, proper secialization. Yes, But as 0:22:03.040 --> 0:22:05.760 far as the teaching, I feel like parents should be 0:22:06.040 --> 0:22:09.760 responsible for the curriculum that the children are getting, not 0:22:10.119 --> 0:22:14.000 some fifty old, sixty ye old white woman at the schoolhouse. 0:22:14.080 --> 0:22:16.919 You don't know what they're teaching your kids. You know what. 0:22:17.040 --> 0:22:19.320 I don't mind a fifties sixty year old white woman 0:22:19.440 --> 0:22:21.719 teaching their kids, but I just feel like the parents 0:22:21.760 --> 0:22:24.400 need to also teach their children the things that they 0:22:24.800 --> 0:22:28.960 is not solely the response exactly of the teacher to 0:22:28.960 --> 0:22:33.480 to rear these kids. It's our responsibility, especially the things 0:22:33.480 --> 0:22:35.960 that apply to our culture and things like that that 0:22:36.040 --> 0:22:37.840 they're not receiving in school. We have to give it 0:22:37.880 --> 0:22:41.520 to them ourselves. I remember I used to make my 0:22:41.600 --> 0:22:45.320 ex boyfriend's daughter, like six daughters sit down and watch 0:22:45.400 --> 0:22:49.960 different documentaries and watch like Black Girls Rock and write 0:22:49.960 --> 0:22:53.080 a report on it. And they were really little, so, 0:22:53.160 --> 0:22:55.880 I mean, the reports wasn't going to be like but 0:22:56.880 --> 0:22:58.679 I would make them do it, and I would have 0:22:58.720 --> 0:23:00.919 to pay them though that would have to like the 0:23:00.920 --> 0:23:05.679 reward would be like money. But that was okay for 0:23:05.720 --> 0:23:08.440 me because I knew some of that information. They would 0:23:08.440 --> 0:23:12.919 eventually start to retain it. Yeah, yeah, even though they 0:23:12.960 --> 0:23:15.879 were just doing it for the money. So you know. 0:23:16.119 --> 0:23:18.400 So that's why I said I'm a hybrid, Like I 0:23:18.440 --> 0:23:20.959 definitely believe that I should be teaching my children. I 0:23:21.000 --> 0:23:23.480 believe I should be breastfeeding. I really wan't like when 0:23:23.520 --> 0:23:26.040 I have a child, I would like to make their 0:23:26.080 --> 0:23:29.399 food preservatives and you know, not feeding the bullshoot at 0:23:29.400 --> 0:23:32.359 the store. I believe the woman is responsible for the 0:23:32.400 --> 0:23:36.280 nourishment of the family. I have a lot of traditional 0:23:37.200 --> 0:23:40.399 values values, but at the same time, I do not 0:23:40.520 --> 0:23:42.359 want to be in a situation where the man isn't 0:23:42.400 --> 0:23:46.840 respecting me. So men, it has to come with I 0:23:46.840 --> 0:23:50.120 think that's what the and that's the hard part actually 0:23:50.280 --> 0:23:54.040